Well, looks like one of you jokers beat me to it, but yeah, we're doing an Indiegogo. The perks where we take shots of gross shit sold out already, but we'll still cover any song you want Sonic Pulse style.

Here's the link:
http://igg.me/at/sonicpulse/x/2540968

Here's our adventure time cover. We'll do this to any song you want, so get on it.

bennyhillifier

As an added incentive the first person pretending to be me that asks if Sonic Pulse can get on this gets a free rusty trombone.

Here's the Indiegogo vid


bennyhillifier

You're pretending to be me!

REPOST

http://returntothepit.com/view.php?formid=86317

You guys should cover the song "Give the People What They Want" by the Kinks. Awesome lyrics, and could be made to be sick heavy if done right.

You really need $16,000?!? for what more crack?

If you pay me $20 i'll start a band with Carmine and write songs about not giving you any money towards anything.

Consider this:

These funds will go towards:
1) Production of The Breast of Both Worlds album
2) A music video for Jerkoffagus
3) Tours (there is the $7000 West coast incentive, but these funds will help us with our Summer tour as well) - Oh goodie!

To give you an idea of the what your hard-earned money will be going/WASTED ON, here is a list of our anticipated expenses:

Album: $6500? - You record yourselves $0
Production of physical CD's: $3000? - Who buys CD's?!? $0
Album Art: $500? - You obviously create your own art (i hope you don't actually pay anyone for that) $0
New Mics and Equipment: $1000? - New mics and equipment? really? I'm sure you have some, that's just distasteful $0
Mixing/Mastering: $2000? - I also hope you do yourself (terrible past quality) $0

Van and Trailer Rental: $1000? - You have a van $0
Amps and Cabs: $3000? - You already have some/distasteful $0
Gas - 3300 miles at 20mpg X $3.30/gallon = ~$550? - Paid by playing shows right? I mean you guys are so popular? $0

Merch: $1500?
Art: $700?
Men's Shirts: $300?
Girl's Shirts: $500? - No one wants one (skip this) $0

Music Video: $3000? - You do these yourselves all the time $0
Studio set and prop rentals: $1000? (we want special effects and mummies) - I will mummify you for free - $0
Grip and Lighting rentals: $800? - Unnecessary $0
Camera and lens rental: $200? - Nigga Please... - $0
Labour: $500? - FREE $0
Editing/Post production/Color Grading: $500? - Con artistry at it's worst $0

Cover Album: $650? - Didn't you say $500 above?!?
Physical Production: $350? - What?!? $0
Licensing: $300? - Do you mean "business cards" $0

Total budget: $16200? - New price *2cents

your welcome.
Now go guzzle sperm for free like you normally do.
Stop trying to rip people off, no one cares.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2YRMixW9u8

Evan I hate dis fagetry

What happened to all the "endorsements"

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0AHBw7wItpI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

bennyhillifier

You posted from 2:29 - 3:20 today. Congratulations, you spent an hour brooding over Sonic Pulse. We are please to occupy your limited mental space.

Sorry i got bored and smoked a bowl halfway through, passed out with my dick in my hand, woke up and finished it...

LOL

That's a deal you can't beat.

This band is so painfully fucking retarded, I can't handle it.

This shit band just tilted the Fagget Detector. The Department will be henceforth confiscating any funds that faggets send to these faggets and putting it towards equipment repairs to ensure future generations will be forewarned of faggets like this.

Hey, they're trying to promote the band. That's more than most of you keyboard shield retards do. You hide behind your anonymous posts, rip on people, giggle to your fellow loser stoners with no aspirations for anything, take another bong rip, rip on people with aspirations, take another bong hit, post somewhere else as an anonymous troll, hide your true identity so that you don't get called out somewhere, blame RTTP, take another bong rip, post as Scot Wiley, and in the end??????

Just another troll. I have never even heard a Sonic Pulse song, nor do I care to.

Relax Sonic Pulse people...I have a lot of listening in cue right now, I'll get there.

I just hate that high school bully attitude around here. Either put forth the effort to listen to the shit and give a real review....or go back to playing with your Legos.

RTTP is not a clique....its a bunch of retards with nothing better to do than troll a well respected website.

Maybe I'm taking it too serious.....post mor noodZ.

shutup_fagget

I'll pay you $1,000 to kill yourselves

I'll send Megatron to kill Dan Hammer if he doesn't give me my $18!!!

"He asked Megatron for advice, but the Toy Scowled Inertly."

I'm just calling out the biggest waste of money/con job of all time. These dudez all make good money, record themselves, obviously video record themselves and they def make their own art. The rest of the list like new equipment, t-shirts, and travel expenses are blatantly bogus. Go ahead donate cash to these retards, but just remember they do chug glasses of cum for free on a daily basis.
mor noodZ - Yes (as long as it isn't any more half naked shots (or fully naked) of king of the douchbags Dan Hammer or his pill head wife. even he goes elsewhere when it comes to banging...

Trolling - No
Stoned - Yes
All and all i'm just calling it out
(and having a laugh) - Yes

Also: when a band hands you business cards at a show with "Endorsement deals" all over it, you know they don't need cash, equipment, nor are they into music for the right reasons.

Hobby rockers are out, panhandling rockers are in

We're contractually obligated to advertise our endorsements. Yes having them makes life slightly easier, but you can't pay for a music video in cymbal discounts.

The point is to make a better video than the last one we made with a real production crew. Duh we filmed ourselves in the last one when we had no budget. We want this one to be better.

You seem to have a lot of skin in the game on this. What's you're deal, Kemosabe?

We're in this to play the music we want as best we can for as many people as we can. The fact that you're turned off by a business card shows me that you're in this for the wrong reasons. Probably a member of the local poser patrol getting ready for the next true metal fashion show...
Sorry for the business card. I care more about promoting my music than I care about looking like I don't care about promoting my music so dweebs like you will think we're in it for the right reasons.

If the business card turns you off, we're probably not going to be your cup of tea. We're going for more of a "hey, everyone listen to us" thing than a "too kvlt for posers" thing anyway.

We're over 1k at the moment, so huge thank you to those who've supported us so far! I'm glad we're still on your mind!

Also, the videogame/dragonforce thing isn't ironic. It's pure awesome. I genuinely think those things are awesome and don't do it to be ironic.

To sum up: Yes, folks, I really am that fucking bogus.

we're having a true metal fashion show to raise money for our new video!!!

Dan Hammer owes me $18!!!

So you're asking people to donate money so that you can make merch that you're going to turn around and sell, and so that you can go on a tour where you'll be getting paid to play shows? That seems weird.

I'm butthurt about this whole thing.

Yeah, there's nothing that screams: "Hey everyone, listen to my Hot Pocket* Thrash band!" like raised lettering on pale nimbus white (first 250 free with special coupon from Valu-Pak).

*I think it's time we stop slandering pizza by association.

Nope we're still pizza. Doing some personal pan handling. (Get it? hur hur hur)

THESE GUYS ARE EVEN STUPIDER THAN THAT ASSHOLE THUNDERSTEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT AS STUPID AS SCOTT WILLEY POSTING AS KING THUNDERSTOOL.

Goddammit - this band still sucks but, fuck, well-played.

Once you see it, you know what's happening
Trapped inside, you can't stop fapping


bennyhillifier

(This is the song we're raising funds to make the video for)

Sonic Pulse fucking blows!!! If Dan Hammer doesn't give me my $18, I'll have Megatron rip his arms off!

Exactly. Even if you did want to step it up a notch, The prices that you have listed are heinous as fuck.
Why does it say you need new equipment if you're endorsed?
I'm sure you're playing out of 25 watt practice amps?
No, you have all the gear, how else do you play shows?

Dave took the amps and cabs when he left. We have cymbals, (had guitar), and drum stick endorsements, and are working on a pickup endorsemet. I don't think that's really going to pay for all that stuff.

We have amps and cabs now, but that was a cost that is on my credit card, currently building interest.

We actually pay the artists we use.

The prices aren't absurd. I know you're probably used to recording on the fisher-price black metal recording studio, but we want to do better.

I know you hold our success or lack thereof dear to your heart, but you're not really affecting anyone's decision.

I can tell you have an approximate knowledge of many things, Sandy, but you're wrong. Go forth and brag to your friends that you made a stand. It's making no difference.

Also, you forgot to mention that you smoke weed in the last post. Try and keep on top of that otherwise we won't know that you're cool.

I'm kind of ashamed that I keep coming back to this thread, but then I remember that I have a vested interest in this because it pertains to my band.

Your vested interest is that it pertains to a band you don't like!? Don't forget to make another post here tomorrow! Keep up the good work, soldier! FOR TR00 METAL!

But this band is some over the top embarrassing Mickey Mouse shit. It's gotta be a joke. Otherwise, all trolling deserved.

Heh, hate to quote Biohazard on this but...
MUSIC FOR YOU AND ME, NOT FOR FUCKING INDUSTRY!"
So if I'm in it for the wrong reasons, why is it I'm not a gay spandex wearing rim job master like yourself?
Oh, wait that's right, I'm part of the super bogus pizza hating poser patrol waiting for the next metal fashion show...
Aww, I'm sowwy i hurt your wittle feelings :(
In actuality, we all know all proceeds go to your wife's pill smoking addiction, and you just want to get it over with so you can have your way with all the boys...
I love when you guys bring that half ass arcade with you and your the only one playing it.

But hey i have a video idea for you!

Sonic Pulse show scenereo:

(merch table)

You stand there looking around.
no one is looking back.
you pick up 1 of the 2 shirts you have to sell (because you're poor :( and straight out the wrinkles
still no one looking...
you play your own video game, but quickly move so someone else can have a turn.
still no one there...
confused by the absence of people you walk over to the bar and notice there's a lot of people there.
excited you run back to the ultra gay bro bro's (band mates)
and you tell "We made it, i know it. Tonight I'm wearing my gayest pair of pink bondage spandex, DLR would cum in his own face if he saw my mega-fag leotard!
Still no one comes in the room...
The band sets up (practice amp stax)
they can't tune because they're so poor they can't afford tuners :(
You play a cover of the Bozo the clown theme show.
The show goes on and no one ever comes in, plays your retarded dragonfart game, buys you "girls tee" nor does anyone take your business card. Your wife kills herself, you all quit, then have a giant homo orgy at your house that sucks.
The End.

Your welcome!

I'm happy to have offended you so deeply. We are clearly in your thoughts, and for that I am grateful.

The other dude who posted our IGG before I did was way funnier though. You just sound a little butthurt.

We're huge sellouts though. You got us.

I'm definitely not offended. I'm your buddy! I wrote you a music video.
My cost is $16200 so you better double that total boy, before i stuff my 12" boot up that hershey highway lol.

Ohhh he mad!!!!

It's almost like the Lich King / Candyman thing. (If you type "Lich King is pizza thrash" into any forum three times, the Lich King guy will magically appear and make an ass of himself explaining why you're objectively wrong to dislike his pizza thrash band.)

I'm gonna go in a different direction here and start a Kickstarter to raise the $100 to get a party thrown at the Sonic Pulse house. I'll be respectfully declining the offer to let Sonic Pulse play it though. Fury of Five will be playing the living room stage and Trashmop will be playing the Dan's Bedroom Stage Sponsored by Meow Mix. They're both really particular about who their supporting bands are.

Add a guest appearance by RTL and I'm sold.

^ That hundred dollars better cover scotchgarding the carpet from horse shit then.

Yes, a guest appearance by RTL atop his steed, followed by a Battle Royale between RTL and Stikman. Loser has to clean up horseshit AND sit through a Sonic Pulse set.

ATTN: SONIC PULSE

I will pay you $100 for the band to beat up this puny keyboard warrior called largefreakatzero, win or lose $100!!!

for $200 you must tie him down to a chair an endure your band practice
for a $50 bonus you must also put on him your sweatiest spandex.


ATTN: largefreakatzero

you have to work your way up the fag ladder beating some ass to get to the BOSS LEVEL of THIS TOUGH GUY!!!!

New Sonic Pulse song.

I would pay to see someone attempt this. All proceeds would go to the attempter's hospital bills.

I love these new trolls I've apparently given birth to.

Sorry for the late reply, Mr. Internet Muscle Fag, I was at the gym.

Listen to me now, and believe me later puny girle man, my body is a gym, just swing through my abs like a jungle gym, grab ahold of my bronze buttocks if you can, I am a Adonis!!!!!!!!!!!!

POSER DETECTED!!! POSER DETECTED!!!

Must annihilate Sonic Pulse!!!

Dan Hammer is the disease and I'm the cure!

Approved, carry on and proceed.

Dan Hammer, I live to see you eat my shit but I hope you leave enough room for my fist. Because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god damn spine!

you forgot to add in your body guard fees so you can go to worcester without the kids and crypter kicking your ass

So now Dan Hammer's pill smoking wife left him, he's not in the band, and he's running away.

Where's all that money going?

Called it!

Band's still making the album without me, dick! Das where it's all goin, son!

http://sonicpulse.bandcamp.com/track/jerkoffagus