TO ALL MY LOYAL ANON METALFAGS

WE ARE UNITED IN DISINTEREST AND SEPARATED BY HYPHENS THAT ALL END IN CORE

I hate you all. My blood boils every time I think of a metal show. I've been to some shows and was like eh... like a long time ago I used to check out GWAR! All the time and the crowd was drunk and easily taken advantage of. I saw TYPE-O a gillion times and it was usually top shelf. But all these local shows with these fucking bands that try so hard- at least they seem to try very hard- to fit in by their unique shade of black jeans and odd scribbly t-shirt; the boots, the hoodies, and the s-a-m-e goddamn faux-creative guitar blast noise. With only the occasional exception, if your band clearly fits into a genre then there is a good chance

Burned.

that I feel you suck. You suck because you heard slayer or destroyer a million years ago and decided "I have to do that same thing" -and, unlike any artist that would never have the arrogance to call themselves such unless someone put a gun to their head, you did. You sound just like them. Almost, you are derivative and contributing to the maintenance of sub-par music. One reason people rarely show up to rock nights or metal nights is because they are promised 3-5 bands that sound insanely similar to one another that all have dumb scrawly t-shirts that say something but we're not sure what the fuck it is BUT ITS METAL GODDAMNIT SO FUCK CUZ IM COOL AND I HAVE A SQUIGGLE BOMBED SHIRT AND OH AREN'T I BAD AND MYSTERIOUS. The truth is you are more than likely a terrible writer, a hack musician, a forever friend-zone who might have a nice smile but is obviously lazy and underemployed. Your car looks like shit, you drink your coffee with extra extra something, and secretly, you fucking loved hootie and just aren't in touch with your true-most likely homo-self.

For reasons that I can't figure, you all seem to be somewhat ok with your experience. I hate you for that. I really really really hate you for that. I mean deep down, one of those archetypical types of loath. I don't hate the rap people even though I avoid them. I don't hate the pop losers even though I can't escape them. I hate you. The i'm fucking metal and weird but really kinda well-adjusted douche bag that wouldn't know the first thing about offending anyone. With occasional exceptions, the "scene" or anti-"scene" or whatever is just another group of uninspired dingbats doing what they do best, drinking their best years down from a dirty mug of urine-looking booze and pissing out shitty after shitty after shitty after shitty [et cetera] track, album, riff, band name, logo, face paint, spiked jacket, king diamond paTCH or whatever....


I'm going to kill myself tonight and you fucks aren't the reason. That said, as much as I enjoy progressively aggressive music I can't stand the manner of it's reproduction. Probably because I am so familiar with it so, don't take it personal.

Umm ok khed before you kill yourself from choking on someone's balls, I am inclined to ask who are these occasional exceptions you speak of?

pics or it didn't happen

rest is tl;dr

ok, i may be a terrible writer, hack musician who's not in touch with his homo side and drinking his best years down on piss looking beer, BUT DON'T YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF BEING A HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH FAN. THEMS FIGHTIN WORDS BRO.