I'm at work dosing off, and I started to think "There's Christian metal, which has produced such timeless acts as Stryper and...uh, Stryper?" Well, how come there is no Jewish Metal genre? Are we suppossed to believe one of the largest religions in the world doesn't listen to metal, but Christians do?!?I would like to officialy start this new type of metal, complete with long, curly hair wigs and upside down Menorah's painted on our faces. All that's missing is a band name, and some members. Any suggestions?

how about JEWETAL

Put on your yarmulke
Its time for Chanukah
So much funnaka
To celebrate Chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me

Winona Ryder,
Drinks Manischewitz wine
Then spins a draydle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

Guess who gives and receives
Loads of Chanukah toys
The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,
Courtney Love is half too
Put them together
What a funky bad ass Jew

We got Harvey Keitel
And flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
And yes her boobs are real

Put on your yarmulka
Its time for Chanukah
2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka
celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson
Still not a Jew
But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

Bob Dylan was born a Jew
Then he wasn't
but now he's back,
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish
'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
On the PGA tour
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods
I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

So many Jews are in the show biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't
But my mother thinks he is.

Tell that Daryll Lamonaka
It's time for Chanukah
It's not pronounced Ch-nakah
The C is silent in Chanukah
So get your hooked on phonica
Get drunk in Tijuanaka
If you really really wannaka
Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!
~~~

sorry but i saw this thread and this is what i thought of:
here's the first version:
[A] Put on your [E] yalmulka, here comes [E] Hanukkah
Its [A] so much [E] fun-akkah to celebrate [E]Hanukkah,

[A]Hanukkah [E]is the Festival of [E] Lights,
[A] Instead of one day of [E] presents, we have [Bm] eight crazy [E] nights.

[A] When you feel like the only [E] kid in town without a Xmas [E]tree,
[A] Heres a list of [E] people who are Jewish, just like you and [E] me:

[A] David Lee [E] Roth lights the me[E]norrah,
[A] So do James [E] Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah [E]Shore-ah

[A] Guess who eats to[E]gether at the Karnickey [E] Deli,
[A] Bowzer from [E] Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzer[E]relli.

[A] Paul Newmans half [E] Jewish; Goldie Hawns half [E] too,
[A] Put them to[E]gether--what a fine lookin [E] Jew! [Esus] [E]

You dont need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
[E] Cause you can spin the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish! [Esus]

[A] Put on your [E] yalmulka, its time for [E] Hanukkah,
The [A] owner of the Seattle Super[E]sonic-ahs celebrates [E] Hanukkah.

[A] O.J. [E] Simpson-- not a [E] Jew!
But [A] guess who [E]is...Hall of Famer--Rod [E]Carew--(he converted!) [Bm]

[A] We got Ann [E] Landers and her sister Dear Ab[E]by,
[A] Harrison Fords a [E] quarter Jewish-- not too [E] shabby!

[A] Some people [E] think that Ebeneezer [E] Scrooge is,
Well, hes [A] not, but [E] guess who is: All three [E] stooges. [Esus] [E]

So many Jews are in show biz--
[E] Tom Cruise isn¹t, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [Esus]

[A] Tell your friend Ver[E]onica, its time you celebrate [E] Hanukkah
I [A] hope I get a har[E]monica, on this lovely, lovely [E] Hanukkah.

So [A] drink your gin-and-[E]tonic-ah, and smoke your mara[E]juanic-ah,
If you [A] really, really [E]wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, [E] happy, happy [A] Hanukkah.

jewish metal is Just as evil as christian "metal".

\m/Stryper\m/

I think there are no jewish or muslim metal bands because such a thing would be considered blasphemous in their religion

That's why it would be cool. A Muslim metal band, think of the marketing possibilities.

a metal jihad

betrayer and abuse are isreali bands.

israeli

sorry a pet peeve of myne is people spelling isreal instead of israel

"Iz Real, now on tour in support of Terrorist metal, yeah yeah yeah"

there is a band from Israel called Lehavoth, we actually did a 3 way split CD with them....

Yiddish Steel

i think orphaned land is jewish...well they are arabian, but they are pretty fucking good their new one is very different

Melechesh is from Israel. I think they were being hunted at one point in time for playing Death Metal. They were more than just Stryper, there was also Sacrifice and Believer for all who are old enough to remember those guys.

Not Even One

my anus smells odd.....

Stupid idea and a stupid fucking thread....

well boo hoo to you

this is the greatest picture ever....the cover of my solo album has been found!

but how does one get jewish? maybe coldnorthernvengeance knows. he hates jews so much i'd sware he was raised jewish.

Tastless joke coming. The name In Flames was already taken. Huh Huh!!!!

My friend started a Jewish hardcore band in NYC called Bris. Its all sung in hebrew.

that's actually a pretty cool idea. hebrew is a very strange sounding language, it could sound really unique with screaming.

that does sound like a pretty cool idea. i wonder what it would sound like...

I'm a religious jew, who also happens to be a power metal singer. I've been trying for the longest time to put a band together.

Power and glory of god? thats power metal!

could you play shows on saturday?

Only after nightfall.

the_reverend said:

looks like he accidentally got gayish instead

Orphaned lan is by far the best metal band from israel, their newest cd is a concept album about the flood story. They have Christian, Jewish, and Muslim members and the whole concept of the band is the three religions uniting to produce something powerful.