What would it be?

Get a vasectomey right now.

Pay better attention in school or be prepared to break your ass at a job you hate.

i'd just walk up and punch myself in the face. there is far too much to say that can be summed up nicely in a nice, hard face smash.

Be gay because vagina isn't worth it and bjs are probably as sweet from a dude.

make different friends

maybe add a nice "HEY SELF, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG"

i'd tell myself to chill out about my academics and cut loose a little bit. for some reason or another i waited until i got to college to relax and have fun. ha.

Finish college or be prepared to get stuck in a job with no flexibility and have to go back when you are 28

Even if you bust your ass in college and graduate with honors life will still be shit because this world rewards shitheads and slackers.

kill yourself now. it just gets worse.

that's me talking to my 17 year old self, not anyone in the thread.

keep doing what you're doing because this world rewards shitheads and slackers.

HAHA

Not to work in corporate america.

Fucking right.

"Buy that WWF stock your dad talked you out of."

uh, dad? WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Pay very close attention to everything your parents do and say.... and be prepared in a few years to do the exact OPPOSITE

this

Quiet you!!

HAVE more sex with young girls

....and also, stop being such a pussy about pussy GET LAID

join GWAR

DO IT YOU WON'T

In the next year you will live with a hooker and fuck a midget. Living the American dream.

Don't ever go to Taco Bell.

pay your bills so you have decent credit...

"In two years a cute, seemingly harmless girl is going to suspiciously ask you for guitar lessons, STAY FAR AWAY!"

"That chick can make you as miserable without her as she can happy with her, and for far longer, despite every instinct telling you otherwise..."

the cute seemingly harmless ones are always the most dangerous

Truth.

This just thouroughly convinced 31yo DYA to go to Taco Bell.

Straightedge... you will lol.

Don't major in English, fuckface.

Don't bother graduating from college cuz you'll still be working the same shit job you had before you got your diploma

Fine/Graphic arts? There's no job market there. You're fucking stupid. Oh, and when you hear of "communications" being a lucrative major, give the school the middle finger and go with Psychology instead. It's more fun anyways.

I will vouch for this as well.

be more persuasive when you tell Mom you want to go to Vocational School for electronics since this is pretty much what you do now. Getting a head start on that trade will bring you more money sooner so you don;t have to go back to school when you're 33/34. Oh, and after you break up with your first girlfriend, take her back for a little while, then dump her again. And don't sell the Aria Pro Thor guitar, that thing fucking ruled

graducated with a BA in graphic communication....and now i drive for a living as a courier for the most part...

i gradumacated!

Although it has major benefits if you want to further your education (in a non-English focus, that is)

It never ceases to amaze me that many of the most successful people in the business world can't write to save their fucking lives.

In like five years you should beat the shit out of your roommate.

haha yep.
There are a few executives in the insurance industry (only real industry I'm familiar with) that had ENL bachelor degrees. There's also quite a few lawyers that got their BA in it before law school. I was gonna try to go to law school but fuck it. Metal/beer > lawyers. They suck major ass. Good thing is that Umass now has the states first Public Lawschool - now it's relatively affordable considering how much $$$$ those fucking schools are.

never try cocaine

-Good call on not going to Pratt Institute, oh wait even without a useless art fag degree you still don't have a real job.

-Don't buy those two shitty cars.

find out how magnets work

Invent this chocolate rain thing

- to kill myself after sega genesis

Don't worry, you can afford to get in an extra fight or two, just not after you turn 18. Get into barbering earlier.

Stay gold.

That seemingly nice couple you and your girlfriend will meet off Clist and move in with.. they're swingers.

Give my 17 year old self a sheet of paper with all the Super Bowl winners between 1990 and now. bet a SHITLOAD of money with other people and be set for life.

HAHA

invent napster before some other fag does, piss off metallica, and get rich

In 2 years theres going to be this thread on rttp about what you should say to yourself at 17, come up with something clever to say.

this...mabey also not to get involved with certin psyho women i have been wiht

Also, smoke weed every day.

Also, I'd say "Stop wasting your time getting worked up and bitching about stupid shit and get a real god damn job, you pussy asshole."

Before of entering Paganmegans anus. Also, just because she's a chick that plays guitar, she is not gf material.

Take music more seriously.

One day, you will play a silly slam death metal show with balloons and an inflatable negro with a 12 inch wiener flying towards your face repeatedly. This is how you know you have succeeded.

Also, stop driving like an asshole. It will cost you shit tons of money.

you're too nice to people. fuck compromise & learn to be a little more bitchy.

oh yeah, and when you say something is "over", DO NOT turn back. period.

So true. And no matter what, DON'T LEARN HOW TO MAKE FREEBASE

"don't excessively post on returntothepit, you only make an idiotic fool out of yourself and confuse people that don't understand the concept of the sarcasm meter, although that wont be implemented into returntothepit because the creator is too lazy playing littlebigplanet and spanking his monkey"

"do the exact opposite of everything you are planning to do for at least the next 8 years, oh yea, and that kid down that well was a hoax, they end up finding him hiding in a barn nearby"

I'm pretty sure my 27 year old self is convinced to go to Taco Bell as well. Sigh.

hey nothing wrong with a little salmonella.

bennyhillifier

Don't pay for a car you can't drive.

Put 5 guys in your mouth or you're a pussy, trust me, its not as gay as it sounds

Already did last Saturday, broski.

you mean after master system.

in the far future, you will run a site that will be the #1 source for dead I.C.P. baby. Also, you will sometimes find it ok to use the word nigger.

Read "The Republic."

For people who've never read that masterpiece:

- Should have taken the blue pill.

Invest in WCW

if you are out there passing through any of this
problems listed below:
1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to
recover you lost money.email: okitispell@gmail.com

26 year old me is pleased that 23 year old me would do the same as Yeti and punch my 17 year old self in the face.

Though I'm thinking right now, if I could just listen to my 17 year old self talk about his hopes for himself and the world around him, I would just soak it all in, burst into hysterics for at least 15 minutes, then just walk away without saying a word.

One word, lougle

shuttup fagget.

-Beware metalcore
-Don't get worked up about anything on the internet ever.
-Don't post anything angry or hostile on the internet ever.
-When your band seems like it really isn't working out, stop being a wimp, quit and join another one.

3

2

Practice a lot more.
Finish school.
Don't start smoking.

Sooo so many things to warn 17 year old me about...but 17 year old me wouldn't listen

isn't that always the way. 17yo us was a dick.

I'd echo the sentiment of so many others here and knock my seventeen-year-old self the fuck out.