Massachusetts "super heroes of silly slam," Composted, are seeking a new 2nd guitarist in lieu of Eliot "The Blackness Monster" Bayless' departure from the band last month.

We practice in Woburn, MA, just a few minutes from Rte. 93 and Rte. 95. The overall direction of the music is death metal with an emphasis on slam, incorporating elements of grind, black metal, d-beat, and whatever else we feel like. Most importantly we like to have fun and make fun of anything and anyone we see fit, including ourselves (see any pictures of our live shows).

Influences include but are not limited to: Eternal Suffering, Broken Hope, (old) Devourment, Internal Bleeding, Cock & Ball Torture, Gronibard, Birdflesh, Insect Warfare, The Dave Matthews Band, Suffocation, Candiria, Repudilation, Wormed and Taco Bell.

REQUIREMENTS:
-MUST have your own gear
-MUST have transportation
-MUST be willing to simply go with the flow due to inconsistent schedules, etc.
-MUST have a sense of humor, be willing to look like a complete idiot on stage and not be offended by ANYTHING.
-MUST be at least 18 years of age, preferably over 21
-MUST be able to contribute financially to the band (e.g. practice space rent, merchandise, recording, beach balls)
-MUST be able to practice 1 or 2 times a week
-MUST be able and willing to play 1 or 2 shows a month on average

It should be noted that we aren't necessarily looking for anyone technically proficient, nor are we looking for anyone to contribute significantly to the writing process. Essentially we need someone who will beef up our live sound and have fun with us.

You can hear our music and soil your brain with other Composted propaganda at www.myspace.com/compostedmetal.

Anyone interested can respond in this thread, send me a PM, message our MySpace or email me at mrichardsart@gmail.com.

Hugz & Kissez,
COMPOSTED

MUST land on cocks

I was in this band once. The got kicked out cus my cock rocked to hard.

Landing on Grant's cock was too much for us.

I was in this band once. I quit because I finally figured out I wasn't at Olive Garden.

never ending soup salad and breadtality

Nor the Cheesecake Factory.

*breecake factory

More like fuck you.

PEE EMMMMMDDDDD

just ask the rev about me...
he knows how crazy i be.

Y'all been replizzied.

Hmmm. I'm passively seeking a band.

Maybe you could passively try out. Maybe.

This band needs a new luvly negro :p These guys will eat you up if your cock isn't at least 17 inches long.

Back in my day, that was the average.

Play guitar for us! The new songs are awwwwesome

Damn son! So there must be like 42,164 guitarists lining up outside the practice space by now...

I lost my brutality in the war. I, therefore, refuse to try out.

Ya'll have puny cocks these days.

i wish i had time to do this project...blaaah

Composted isn't a "project" it is THE project!

uh yuh

wtf, huh?

duh

buh?

I could pretend to do it!

WTF? Are you 5? This isn't imaginationland. This is the internet. We keep it real here.

I would do this but I'm too good.

tragic

Ya, like sweeps and shit.

Is it okay if I'm offended by people taking offense to stuff?

I would do this if I had a rig.

I would rig this if I had a do.

imaginATION imaaaginaation imaaaginAATION IMMAGination

I would do this if I had a rig, skill, and a larger phallus.

i'd so want to do this but im too far and dont have enough income right now

So what happened to the blackness?

black

He is

ITT: People who won't play guitar for Composted.

Zyklon, Eliot left to focus on his audio engineering/producing among other music related things.

and, black.

But yeah, I'm up for trying out.

Word mang. I'll drop you a line and let you know when you can come to practice and see how we work and all that shiz.

I would totally be there if it weren't for having 12 days to get a drummer solid for a bunch of shows.

You never know, we may still need a guitarist after those 12 days are over. We're not really in a rush anyway.

Composted needs a hole their head more than a new guitarist. Just end that shit...it's the worst thing to happen to metal. You are a joke. You don't need anyone technically proficient to play guitar because you suck. You should move your band to P-Town so you can SLAM all the dudes you want there.

Can I try out. What do you guys sound like

I think we've found our perfect candidate. You're so dreamy!

trust me kid, you don't want to be in this band. For all the people who bashed you for listening to trivium (who do really suck) this band is worse. They are a joke.

A lesson for you: buy the following book, Choosing Death, the improbable history of Death Metal and Grindcore. Buy the following albums: Napalm Death: Scum, Carcass: necroticism, Angel Corpse: Exterminate, Morbid Angel: Covenant, Immolation: Dawn of Possession, Hyporcisy: Penetralia. There is a million more than this, but these are some of the basics to get you started. If you can't stomach this shit...you should quit listening to metal. Also, rule number 1: from this day forward do not step foot into Hot Topic.

looks like we have ourselves a reader.

Ha! I actually just read the book and it's pretty good. Does the genre some justice. If your implying that the book is where I got my knowledge of metal... than you are oh so wrong my friend.

i'm implying that you're an idiot and no one gives a shit about your metal knowledge.

OH SHIT SON! WE JUST GOT SKOOLED!

WHO ARE HIPPOCRISY AND THOSE OTHER PHAGG BANDS?

you blew my mind man. with songs titled from cumrags to riches and doggie do's and doggie don'ts i totally thought we were the most serious band since rush. but you've opened my eyes. thank you.

Wow. On second thought I don't want to try out for this awesome, awesome band. Thank you for showing me the light!

awww did I hurt the Mr Richards feelings? I'm so so sorry. You guys were so good at the Moral Decay show at O'briens that the sound guy shut you off. That must have disappointed your 10 fans. That's OK, you can just hold on to your noodles and everything will be OK. I hope no bottles hit you in the neck at deathfest...oh wait...you have no neck.

this shit sounds personal.

Psytoxia got shut off at that show, I don't remember anything about Composted getting cut off.

Haha, this thread is getting interesting.

mark has a neck youre thinking of me. insult the right guy at least christ

Neither of you have necks. At least Mark has the racial handicap as an excuse.

and who trows bottles anymore. what is this the blues brothers? where are you fom sir?

marks neck is raviolis?

Around here we throw cans.

I have a neck. MY FEELINGS ARE HURT NAOW.

Mark is italian and I'm angry about it.

Chicken Necks?

rubber chicken necks

Dave please email me Mark's # . I just lost my phone. revocationband@gmail.com

your band makes a mochery of this genre more than KSE playing Dio. It's worst than Eternal Suffering trying to play there songs live at cafe mio without fucking up

its not composted's fault you dont have a sense of humor

sent homie

eternal suffering was fucking awesome and influential. so obviously youre a local with some grudge against us. mockery is our middle name. and if you dont like us. dont listen to us. easy enough. just block us out of your mind.

A:

B:


DOWNRIGHT EERIE

I'm not sure if you already knew it or not--even though it's obvious as fuck--but we aim to be a mockery of metal. Getting people like you to flip your shit about it is enjoyable.

E.S. ruled..mark i sent you a message

lol obvious troll is obvious

I want to fuck this forcedtoBleed guy's nephew so hard. I bet his cock tastes like candycorn.

I've been around this scene for a long time, here and the world. I can't wait for death fest... we will get to meet. I know the guys in cephalic will agree, patience it a remarkable trait.

I'm sure the pleasure will be all ours!

Eternal Suffering was so fucking horrible that I couldn't stop myself from listening to Drowning in Tragedy, repeatedly, while cursing those faggots for bringing the ultimate slam.

Careful Mike, he might throw a bottle at your neck too.

oh, so he aims for the back of THA neck?
truly admirable

Question for ForcedToBleed... whatever happened to just not liking a band? It's so unnecessary to talk shit in a thread that Composted is peacefully attempting to find another guitarist. I don't understand how you work so hard to shit on a band that just enjouys having fun with music and visuals. It's as simple as that. And who cares if Cephalic Carnage agrees with you... everyone under the sun could hate composted (which I know isn't true) and it doesn't mean they're gonna have any less enjoyment doing the band. And I should know, I was in the band. No intent to be an asshole but please keep your opinions in your skull with this situation.

I see what you did there.

HEY don't make this thread serious Eliot. You got kicked ou...I mean you left for a reason.

That's what I call a party.

Backed

Although you missed a chance to make a mockery of his spelling of mockery.

Eh, that shit's too easy. I'm not his English teacher, but if I was he'd get an F. He's better than the Rev though.

haa! you people are the same ones that give shit to other people for liking other bands out side "your mass slam scene". You are pathetic and contradict everything you say. your scene is no different than the emo fags that all gather to hate their girlfriends. What the fuck is "slam" anyway? it sounds like you are a bunch of jungle monkeys listening to rap instead of death metal. you are posers. I am done. See you at DF.

Haha, what? We've never given legitimate shit to anyone about what music they like and don't like. In fact, most of the band doesn't even listen to that much slam. 90% of it sucks. Do your fucking homework before you start slinging shit. It will be an honor to meet you, assuming you would actually approach one of us. Or maybe you mean you're going to pull some stupid shit and really throw bottles at us? If that's the case I'll make sure we bring our neck guards, or maybe we'll just cancel because we're butthurt that someone doesn't like our band.

Here's a thought: accept that you don't get the joke behind what we do, accept that we don't give a fuck about what you think about us and start acting like a fucking adult instead of puffing your big, manly chest out on an internet message board trying to school complete strangers of which you have an extremely skewed perspective.

hahaha, you managed to get Mark Richards riled up. If that's not a sign of being an ass, I dunno what is.

LOUD NOISES!
but seriously you'd be an outright asshole to even attempt something retarded that would fuck up a festival with so much good intent behind it. you'd be fucking it up for everyone. then you'd be the poseur. be an adult, if you really have a legitimate problem with us. come up to us. shake our hands. i'll buy you a beer, and we can all have a debate about the history of metal. no throwing anything. no mortal kombat bullshit. just grown up talking. wooords

lol @ hating slam and going to Blue's slamfest.

FINNSH HIM

this band lost its soul

What we need is James Brown.

i lost mine long ago. i traded it to some kid at school for his gameboy in the fifth grade.

You definitely got the better end of the bargain on that one.

we played DF it was amazing,
this band is slam tastic.
splooge festt all the way
we should collaborate on something
you should check us out http://myspace.com/cutmythroatasibled
you will love us dude.

I've been around the scene maaaaannnn, and the world maaaaaan, you know this makes me a better person than you maaaannnn. I've seen things maaaannn. I gonna meet you at the DF man and prove I am better than you man by throwing punches maaaannnn.

I cant stop laughing at this

TACOS.

lol @ this

Who would ever want to hurt a band full of lovely, burly, and cute pedo bears? And btw, I'm currently enjoying my explorations in Africa, nice to get back in touch with my roots :l

BURRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOOS

My favorite band is Dave Matthews Band.



hahahaha. No shit.

haha wow, this forcedtobleed guy has a serious hard-on for Composted. say that by chance this douche is real, it would be a sight to see if he tried to do anything to anyone in Composted. he'd wake up in Boise, Idaho 4 months from now in a station wagon wondering when his sex had changed.

obliteratron is lookin for a guitarist if you like playing old school thrash.
we're scattered between stafford springs, vernon, avon, but practice is in meriden.
hit me up wargozer@hotmail.com

hahahaha

That makes me sincerely hope he's legit.

wow, how the hell did I miss this gem of a thread!? haha

Holy shit! Rich Bova speaks!!!