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New site? Maybe some day.
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So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh. |
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I pooped out a whole piece of roasted red pepper this morning. I turned around to flush, saw red and thought I was having a major health issue. Thankfully, only a piece of pepper -- those can now join the list of foods that won't digest (e.g. corn, peanuts, blueberries). |
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gross. I have a viral infection. So business is serious. Seriously nasty that is. fucking gross. and it hurts. :( |
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Jealous.
I have what i lovingly call constareaha. |
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Haha, no good. I'm just dropping brown bombs at will. |
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today you are playing mudblaster not brickblater |
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whats the name of that system flush tea?
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Smooth Move, from Whole Foods. |
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wow, it's called smooth move? That's sweet. |
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haha
I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job. |
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Yesterday when I took a shit at work there was shit on the toilet tank. Fucking sweet. |
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Yesterday I went in to take a leak, and there was some dude stankin up the joint so fucking bad. So I'm just chillin' taking a piss and all the sudden this guy SMASHES the toilet bowl via butt mud and lets out this pathetic sounded wimper afterwards. I then started to pee really hard from trying to hold on my laughter. |
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Way back when I was working in a mexican restaraunt, I was heading towards the bathroom and right before I walked through the door, some huge fat pakistani practically runs out of there, like he's in a big hurry for some reason. I walked into the room and it literally felt like I got punched in the nose, the stench was so intense. |
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The dudes that work here must eat some of the most rancid food ever. After any of them get off the pot, it smells like a dumpster full of dairy products on a humid day in July. |
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haha
I just had a conversation with one of the secretaries here to ask her why the office bathroom is now off-limits for everyone but the office workers...apparently somebody's been shitting on the toilet seat in there or something. I need to find a different job. |
that happened at my job, only it was someone kept shitting on the women's room floor. it happened 5 times, so they shut down the upstairs womens room, and the person started doing it downstairs. they never found the person, so i have dubbed them the Serial Phantom Shit Ninja. |
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In the process as we speak. text.rttp.poopin.com |
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its even more fun when the president of the company is sitting in the next stall over. |
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I'm eating broccoli pie for lunch. Round two is going to be so punishing for the porcelain. |
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The punishment continues. First I dropped a pound and a half in my own commode at 6:30 this morning, but my colon is not satisfied. The path of destruction has continued back to the bathroom at work, and once again, everyone's day is ruined except for mine. SUCCESS. |
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I love this fucking thread! I think everyone should put a post up here! Nothing is better than dropping the load of a life time at work! |
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Justice my brotha. Let the shit flow. |
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I drank some land o lakes hot choclate, so I used 2 packs so it was extra thick! I was in the bathroom for over a 1/2 hour, people knocking on the door, the putrid smell leaking from the bottom of the door, it was an amazing load! |
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Hot chocolate from Dunkin Donuts definitely produces similar results. I refrain from DD though, since I'm not too much a fan of diarrhea. |
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Yes diarrhea is not a fun past time |
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I thought this would be appropiate with the holiday season coming up |
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Yea I was taking ANOTHER dump this morning and reading one of the reading material provided, and all of a sudden one of the girls from the office just walked in. Probably one of the most embarrasing moments of my life. But i'm over it already |
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Haha, is it a unisex bathroom? |
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Well I dont know to be sure. I dont think it was that bad but she may of thought so |
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Yea its a unisex bathroom, the girls have their own bathroom but there is a extra bathroom just in case |
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Haha, that fucking blows. Although the women that work here could walk into the men's room and I wouldn't be able to tell any difference. |
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AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. |
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You should say, "Oh hey, remember that time you saw me laying cable? We should do that again sometime." |
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Hahaha, thats funny shit. I think I'd probably get a sexual harrasment lawsuit against me. She's the human resource lady at the office. I feel small now |
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She's the one that didn't knock. She wanted your shit, dude. |
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Hahaha, your right. I thought the door was locked. ITs one of those locks that you never know if its really locked or not. Its funny how the most embarrasing moments of your life can be prevented with the push of a button. |
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I'm just going to start shitting with the door open. |
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That would make me feel so much better |
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oh boy, me and the girl from the office just crossed paths. It was very uncoftorable |
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You might as well just kill her. |
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I'm just going to start shitting with the door open. |
That made me lol. That would be so funny. |
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AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. |
that happened when i was younger and just met my new hot step-cousin. 15 years later and its still awkward running into her. |
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I'm seriously considering it, since the idiots here barge in anyway. |
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You wanna know the even funnier part? When I was done, I had to flush the toilet like 5 times because I had one of those nuggets that just dont go down. Damn those little nuggets |
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AT least she wasn't hot or anything, then I would really feel stupid! You know the easy part is over, the hard part is having to face her everday knowing that she walked in on me pooping. We are going to have to pretend like it never happend. |
It sucks too because I started working here like a 3 weeks ago so I am going to be known as the new guy who got walked in while he was taking a dump! I feel so small |
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I'd feel like a fucking champ. It's not you who has the image of a man shitting burned into your brain, haha. |
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hahahah thats awseome. Your making me feel warm inside |
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And hey, just remember you're not the dude known for humping a tree like one of the guys I work with.
Speaking of that dude, he asked me today if it's wrong to fantasize about Beethoven...the St. Bernard from the movie. |
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HAHAHAH, now thats just disturbing! Is he like Dwight Schrewd from the Office? |
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He's more like Milton from Office Space if anything, only he speaks and it's always about fucking things that shouldn't be fucked, or assholes. |
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oh yea that must be really fun. lol, weirdo |
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He's sitting right across from me eating a tub of steak. |
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What's your high score?
So far the best I've done is only 24,730. |
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Your high score dwarfs mine, haha. I'm only up to 10K. But, I've only been playing for a week or two. |
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uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas |
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I'm so proud of RTTP for sharing their shit. |
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uhhh.......much beer and whiskey last night + wendys mushroom swiss burger for lunch = obscene noxious fumes eminating from my anus....soon to give way for a masterpiece painted on a porcelain canvas |
haha the jacobson brothers were vomitting with the fury last night. |
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fuckn gingers, can't handle their booze |
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any of you guys ever take straight psyllium?
not the metamucil with 1.5% psyllium, but straight up shredded psyllium seed and husk.
if not, you must try it.
go to trader joes
find a can with an egyptian style art design, it will say "secrets of the psyllium"
mix 2 table spoons with 12 ounces of water in a large cup.....stir quickly, chug immediately (it goes down rough, but if you wait too long, it turns into a gelatinous, semi-solid, hard to swallow substance)
within 8 hours, you will be farting like crazy
within 12-24 you will take the biggest and most relieving shit of your life.
it leaves little mess behind (minimal wiping needed)
and the craziest part is, it lubes it self, so even though it is the biggest shit you have ever taken, it does not hurt or require much pushing.
and when it's all done.....you feel better.....you feel lighter... you're almost happier to be alive |
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wow, that sounds like something I DONT wanna try lol....thanks for the tip tho |
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hah....your loss bro.
i'm tellin ya, that stuff rules.
choking it down sucks.
but the resulting shit is a life changing experience
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That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves. |
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I love it how we can talk shit all day |
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That's how I've been feeling after all the shits I've been taking. The tea that has been causing it has Senna leaves. |
senna leaves huh.
i'll have to look into that.
any product that makes shitting even more enjoyable is amazing |
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This tea has me shitting pieces of dead intestines. Fucking amazing. |
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nice...
i will look for some immediately |
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Whole Foods dude...Smooth Move is the name of it. |
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sweet.
thanks.
i think there is a whole foods in pawtucket.
may just go today |
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yes, i've used smooth move before. it will destroy you inards and make them into refried beans mmmm. |
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It's a glorious and uplifting experience. I'm on my 3rd shit of the day. |
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whatever happened to good 'ol Colon Blow? |
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Alright now I am getting intrigued. I am going to get some of that stuff when I get out of work. |
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i sorta tastes like liqrish |
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It's a fucking revolution. |
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What happend to the good old days of Ex lax and such products |
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i'm drinking the smooth move right now |
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Your gonna be loving it in a couple of hours |
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Provided the tea is brewed right, it takes 6-12 hours to kick in. |
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So I've been drinking this tea that acts as a system flush, and I definitely just showed the bathroom here at work a thing or two about a thing or two. Just so it knows I mean business, I'll be returning around lunch time to lay down the brown once again. Everyone's day is now ruined and I laugh. |
Oh great. now he's drinking herbal teas.
You have now officially taken the last step toward becoming a psuedo-intelectual. |
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Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual. |
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yeah no negative words can be spoken against something that cleans out your intestines. |
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I did not drink said tea last night since I have job interviews today...but you can expect a full report tomorrow morning of what sort of splendiferous and profligate product is expelled from my innards. |
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i had the absolute worst farts this morning. i kept having to turn my fan on at work. |
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Herbal tea that makes you shit isn't thaaat close to pseudo-intellectual. |
touche' |
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I am on massive shit number 2 of the day. I am empty. The toilet is full. |
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I was waiting for a update, I am glad to hear that you are shitting your brains out again! |
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Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled. |
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I'm glad to hear that, nothing like a holiday dump! |
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The 12 dumps of Christmas. |
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just wait until after the xmas feast. it'll come out like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura 2 from the fake rhino. |
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Haha, me too! Even though I didn't drink the tea the night before last, I still had a copious amount of waste, but this morning's outcome is unrivaled. |
lol 'outcome.' you could make tom swift blush with that one. |
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Hahahaha, I don't gorge myself at all anymore, even on holidays, but I may do it this year in hopes to recreate that scene. |
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I've been pooping way more than what I've eaten these past few days. what's up with that? maybe I'm shedding my winter coat :| |
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