As if Eliot Bayless (aka The Blackness Monster-Composted) and I didn't have enough projects already, and weren't retarded enough already, we have started yet another project, and yes it is retarded.

HORRIFYING CONDIMENTS is a 2-man ebony & ivory shit machine featuring every member of any audience and subsequently every member of any band that we share the stage with. You may have seen this mentioned in a Composted thread a while ago. I credit Paul (Proteus) for most of this idea, but don't feel inclined to tell you why, so you'll just have to dig up said thread.

Here's the deal: you bring anything that makes noise to a show, or choose from our box of tricks, YOU ARE IN THE FUCKING BAND. No fucking exceptions. If you're there, you are in the band and you will fucking like it. Anyone who refuses is the enemy of fun, and therefore the enemy of America. How would it feel to be a terrorist? Fuck you.

HORRIFYING CONDIMENTS is influenced by anything and everything that rules, including Crowbar, Slayer, Satan, vaginas, rock n' roll, what you put on your food, interracial marriages and masturbating.

How many people would participate in this? This is going to happen, just so you know...as soon as someone books us on a show (wink wink nudge nudge people who book shows).

BOOK SHOWS.

You lost me at interrcial marriages.

DOMESTIC ENEMY OF FUN

Replace it with the word you'd like to see.

A PLANET FREE OF MINORITIES

Eliot will play in whiteface.

Make him remove all of his skin posthaste.

Done and done.

I wrote a song for you, it's called, Rape, Murder, Arson and Rape. Be proud.

I am in the middle of writing a song called "Sniffing Her Danties". I am halfway done with it if interested.
It will shoot you guys right up the brutthhuull charts! Seriously, if you want the song let me know.

Haha, I have no objections. Our hit single is going to be called "Hot Load."

HA, Cool Mark! I could never get Scoracrasia off the pissy ground, so I can contribute this at least.

~~~Sniff sniff~~~

hahaha that's an awesome idea. your first song should be called "Poisoned, Stabbed, Shot, Hung, Stretched, Disemboweled, Drawn and Quartered".

Haha...the goofier the better.

it'll be all about Vigo the Carpathian.

Bonerdongs

I want a spot in this!! I'm writing lyrics for a song called Gasoline Enema that I can contribute.

I think Judas Priest beat you to this one.

I don't care, we're ripping off Judas Priest anyway...because we can.

this sounds awesome. play my Benders show in January and we can have super happy fun time.

Tom, definitely put us on the show. We're ready.

haha cool i'll get back to you on the details... would Composted want in too? we are gonna actually be paying the bands and might even get a decent headliner.

Haha, sick...seriously, this is going to rule. Unfortunately, Composted won't be ready for shows for a while.

alright no prob.. i'm thinking end of January early February. i'm psyched for this. hopefully i can rip out a raging Kazoo and/or slide whistle solo.

Do it! We want as many ridiculous things going on as possible.

i will bring a griddle and bacon. excellently comforting white noise.

SOUNDS LIKE OUR KIND OF BAND!

i saw a lady in blackface at the patriots game the other night.