And he said I have to get laid within two weeks, because he put me on some new stress medication and wants to know if it has any affects.

This is the only time I will ever say that life would be easier with a girlfriend right now.

I can help you with that.

get a hooker instead

get a bag of candy and a car with a big trunk

ever hear of epididimitis?
my bros has it. you gotta have your nuts drained on a reg basis.
his wife works hard......real haaaaaahd kehd.

and write it off on your health care so it's free.

Dammit...why didn't you go to the doctor a month ago and post this before I went to the doctor! I coulda coerced my ex-gf into a severance pop...

Yeah, borrow my car.

I saw my doctor 3 weeks ago because I was nauseous and it turned out I had a blood pressure reading of 190/111. Yeah...I was given blood pressure meds.

Join the club.

25 years old and on beta blocker high blood pressure meds. Sweet. At least I get ripped and pass out when I take them at night.

That's some hardcore shit -- I'm just on water pills.

I got my BP taken the other day and it was 149/51....Better, but not too good.

whats the matter... your hand broken?

I can borrow our tour van and use that.

What's the matter is I've been pretty damn stressed out lately, and he put me on some medication to keep my stress level down a bit, and lower my boiling point. He just wants to know asap if it effects my sexual performance in any way. If I had done this a week ago I would have been all set, so now I have to go through all that trouble again.

I have epididimitis too. I swear

theres gotta be some sluts on this board who can help this poor bastard out

i know some easy broads. but blue is first on the list lol.

Plus he's not exactly my type.

hahaha. pretty intense.. that you have to get laid.. couldnt you just give yourself a vigorous fist fuck. get the heart racing and gets you off..

Well, I wouldn't exactly mind going with the docs orders on this one. Otherwise it's not as intense, and it wouldn't get the job done ;)

that reminds me, would you guys be willing to rent that out a weekend or something? I'll send you an message to discuss further if it's possible mangggg.

I would like to call bullshit on this

I wouldn't mind, but I doubt it man. The thing is kind of a piece, and we're honestly surprised it lasted the whole tour. I'm just looking out for you guys because a. I don't want you guys getting stranded and b. I don't want anyone to try to hold you liable incase something goes wrong.

Now back to the getting me laid subject.

Trust me, it's no bullshit. It definitely sounds like it, but I'm actually being serious.

alright understood, couldn't hurt to ask haha

If you get me laid by one of your hott friends I could make it happen.

I'm only half kidding.

Ask him about Steph.

Who's this Steph person you speak of?

would you be ok if steph had a dick? im pretty sure there isn't any medicine that would exclude total fags.

Problem is then it goes back to the enjoyable factor, and that wouldn't exactly be very enjoyable.

As long as you have 1/8 of a dick, Steph's alllllll good.

:(

dude, with an uptight attitude like that, no wonder no laids.
there are a lot more enjoyable things in this world than getting laids. like ice cream, hanging wsith yur bros, and anal.

the doctors script didnt say enjoy the sex... no.. yes??

make sure you let us know what the side effects are, you might need a second opinion

seriously... people should be there just to make sure you're ok. what if somethgin goes wrong.. !??

something tells me you didnt need this excuse to want to touch a va-j-j XD

side effects may include children and/or genital warts

win.

don't believe anything a doctor tells you when he's got a raging chubby.

Since it's a stress relief, it basically has a lot of the same side effects as most anti-depressants. For the record, it didn't say I had to enjoy it, but I might as well enjoy it to get the full effect.

iow: he juust wanted to know if you get ED

Probably.

drunk dick.

I haven't been drunk since saturday (if that was directed at me). Disappointing. Thanks for reminding me about the lack of beer forced into my system the past few days!

beer is for fags.

only if the beer bottle is shaped like a dick

fixed

yeah, it's like putting cheese inside horseshit and calling it good.

What about your drummer, Sam?

He always puts out and makes a great woman!!!!

fastest way to get laid if you don't know any girl who are as desperate as you, is to go on craigslist and type an ad.
i knew someone who used it and pretty much got obsessed

craigslist... got AIDS?

no?!?

you will.

WOW, this is gonna sound like bullshit, but i too have epididymitis. I went to a doctor TODAY at Boston medical center. His name is Robert Oates. He fucking sucks. He is a Urologist, i waited two months to see him, i have been to the medical walkin twice, i have been to the er a handfull of times now, seen other doctors about a half dozen times, and the duchebag today told me that since nothings worked he thinks i should "wait it out" even though i have been on perks/morphine for almost four months now.

I can see the craigslist ad now:

Doctor says I need to get laid to test a new med I'm on. Anyone wanna take part in this experiment?