...and ended up nicking my sac twice. I was using an electric razor. How do people do this without cutting themselves? I would never put a regular razor anywhere near my hermit, but the electric razor didn't seem to work either. The thought of wax or nair makes me gag, so that is out of the question.

Any suggestions?

hedge-clippers all the way.

I liked this story better when it was Jay Raper and a pair of scissors.

pam said:

I don't know who Jay Raper is and scissors seemed like the worst choice.

I think those old "blade" razors would be the worst choice... Like a knife on butter.

shaving with butter? how Seinfeld

a rabid wombat is the best... take it from me. my balls are as smooth as MSD's pick up lines at a local kindegarten

"oh my god they're as smooth as eggs"

Yeti said:

I'll show you at lunch.

and that was the beginning of a real sticky situation.

I can't say I'm much for personal grooming "downstairs," but I have a Wahl beard trimmer that a) I shave my face with (my skin hates razors), and b) has been used to good effect on my girlfriend's "undisclosed location"; one could surmise that it would work on a nutsack as well.

Electric on the shaft and regular razor and shaving cream on the sac. It's a 2 part process, but works like a charm.

largefreakatzero said:


How do you not cut your sac? Mine's all bumpy and shit, not like freaky bumpy but you know, those little bumps that the hair grows out of. I would think when I was done, I would nick myself so many times that my sac would just fall off.

Scrotal scabs are sexy.

starmummy said:

I'm definitely not the foremost expert on nut sacs (talk to Rev. Aaron about that), but mine isn't too "bumpy" so I don't cut myself too often. The wife likes the clean shave.

largefreakatzero said:


Maybe I just have freak balls?

largefreakatzero said:

I actually used to trim the jungle back a bit, but for some reason my lady likes it au natural. I don't understand it, personally, as I have freakishly long pubes. We're talking 2, 3 inches on average; it's like a miniature Billy Gibbons down there. I'd think it'd be like diving face-first into a Douglas fir, but she apparently doesn't mind. *shrug*

i've never had a problem with my grooming

Am I the only one that thinks it is weird that grown (for the most part) men are sharing ball sac grooming tips on rttp?

Thanks for painting a picture DestroyYouAlot...
I must go clean the vomit from my computer area.

shr3dd1ngsw3d3 said:

I was worried no one was gonna be grossed out by that. I thank you; you've restored my faith in humanity.

Or at least my faith in my own ability to gross people out.

And BTW: Slingshot Borat is an appropriate addition to any discussion. That's science. You can't argue with science.

"just soak em gasoline and toss a match... that'll get them critters right off."

DestroyYouAlot said:


Yes, the more Borat's in the world, the better that world will be.

Make sure you do it in the shower, use soap. Not too rough, shouldnt be a big deal

Regular razor all the way definitely use soap. pull some tention on your sac so you don't catch any shrivel/wrinkles, that's how you get cut nigga. LOL excellent thread

RTTY health and beauty tips by metal guys ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

Jay Raper didn't use scissors; he used my teeth!

dyingmuse said:

This is a crucial part of scrotal folicle maintenance. If you just go right at it, you're gonna get FUCKED. I use a beard trimmer to cut back the thick foliage before I get to the more detailed areas. A very vital aspect of this technique is to not let the beard trimmer touch the surface of your scrotum; it can go well, but the risk is high, so I just graze over the surface as if to weedwhack, then apply necessary tension to flatten out the scrotey scrote enough to get a smooth shave. It may take a few tries to get it all though, so don't rush it...the consequences are undesirable.

That was too elaborate given the subject matter. I need a life!

MarkFuckingRichards said:

This is pretty much how I get the job done - I just trim the shit, my nutsack is too wrinkly/fleshy to totally shave it off, I'll end up nipping my sac to ribbons!

SAC RIBBONS.

What fucking kind of real man tries to shave his balls??? That's what I wanna know....

What would possess you to commit such a heinous atrocity?

this thread is humorous

Hoser said:

It's comfortable, and even more comfortable when they're in a ladyfriend's mouth. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend wouldn't want to put hairy balls in her mouth.

I'm married...either she gets hairy balls in her mouth or she moves out of my house.......

She has a choice....and the answer is Alex?

Hoser said:

Hahahaha, amazing. You win on that one.

By the way...what can humanly be comfortable about scraping any hard metal object up against the most sensitive part of the male anatomy? If that's comfortable to you, Mark......I'd hate to see your reaction to a punch in the face.

Stop being metro -sexual faggots and come to the disgusting reality that you are men!!!

Did your forefathers shave their nuts? If so, you were bred from a line of fags.

What would your grandparents say?

I get so wet when I get punched in the face...I mean...what?

Anywho, razors are designed not to hurt you if used properly, so it's not too hard to get the job done unless you're the Tazmanian Devil or have Parkinson's Disease. Sometimes I like to feel a breeze up the shorts, air out the boys, without the hassle of my manbush causing wind resistance, especially because I have balls that like to stick to my leg when it's hot out. And these balls am straight, dammit.

Shaving your pubes is a great way to kill time while taking a dump. Sometimes you get bored of reading the same books over and over again.

I don't think I could ever shave and poop at the same time. That spells disaster.

DOn't think I'd ever let a chick shave me ,Much less try it myself... au natural all the way

This is the best thread ever, Hoser made this thread awesome!


HA ha ha ha ha ha ha h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my poops take less than one minute.

My poop lasts anywhere from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on what I am reading. I look forward to my alone time on the shitter after and during work.

lol

MarkFuckingRichards said:

It's not like I get up right away. I like to sit for a few minutes and "settle".

While being a lady pleaser, I've also found that a cleanly chaved sac greatly reduces ball-itchiness. FACT.

MarkFuckingRichards said:

funniest post yet.

dyingmuse said:

absolutely. i don't understand how anyone can take less than 15 minutes. i wouldn't feel properly emptied or cleansed.

http://www.playvisions.us/wolthuis.aspx?productid=93&size=medium

if I spend more than 15 minutes in the bathroom my legs fall asleep.

the same thing happens to me, but i just use that as an excuse to sit there longer.

I just wanted to report that thanks to (some of) your advice and other online research, my cleanly shaven cock n' balls no longer resemble Corey Feldman's head at the end of Friday the 13th part 4.

Yeah, now it looks like Jason.

bennyhillifier

Just use the Flowbee.

Yeti said:

I've heard it's actually bad for your prostate if you're on the shitter for more than an average of 10 minutes; of course that's 10 minutes of applied pressure. Sometimes it's nice to just enjoy the fact that you just squeezed out a few brown babies. Plus it's a good way to avoid doing work, haha.

besides sex and masturbation, i am pretty sure that every single thing a guy does is bad for his prostate. including breathing.

I'm just gonna get rid of mine. Why not, ya know?

Hoser said:

Oh really? She just told me she likes my shaved balls better.

now every time I look at this thread title, I think of "Dear Penis" by Rodney Carrington

dyingmuse said:

Return To The YMCA!

LOLing at the placement of this thread just a minute ago.

HAHAHAH

did it lastnight. mission accomplished. I should hang a banner.

BTW, re: Thread Title

YODA: Use The Trimmer. Now....feel it. Concentrate.
LUKE: Oh, no. We'll never get it bald now.
YODA: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?
LUKE: Master, trimming my sideburns is one thing. This is totally different.
YODA: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.
LUKE: All right, I'll give it a try.
YODA: No! Try not. Do. Or, do not. There is no try.
LUKE: I can't. It's too hairy.
YODA: Hairiness matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my bushy pubes, do you? Hm? Mmmm.

And well you should not. For my ally is the Trimmer. And a powerful ally it is. Wahl creates it, sells it in stores. Its shaving energy surrounds us and shears us. Hairless beings are we....not this hirsute matter. You must feel the Trimmer around you. Here, between you...me...the tree...my legs...everywhere! Yes, even between your balls and your ass!
LUKE: You want the impossible. I don't...I don't believe it.
YODA: That is why you fail.

im not a doctor, but if you open up your ballsack, there is another sac inside that looks like yoda.

Use a mach 3
Don't press.
Gentle strokes in both directions.

I've never had a problem with this. How the hell did you cut yourself?
And Mark stated the obvious reasons why this is a good idea.
Comfort and the ladies

I nicked it using an electric razor. I have since learned my lesson and just shaved them again yesterday. They are feeling good. They are happy balls now.