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:	post by SeedBassist at 2005-11-09 16:18:05

Hey everyone, i've been noticing the new obsession with the frequent facts about Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel. I was sitting and talking with Anthony Simone (he plays session drums for coffin birth, and is in a few other projects), and we thought it would be funny to do the same thing about someone in the metal community, so we decided on Dan Robinson from Shroud of Bereavement, as many people know and respect Dan and his music. We compiled this list in about 30-45 minutes last night, and we hope you enjoy. Some of you may think it's funny, some of you may think it's just retarded and so are we. Well, the answer is really both. So here it is: Random facts about Dan Robinson:

Dan Robinson can lay 56 bricks in 1 hour, yet he refuses to play above the tempo of 56 bpm

Dan Robinson ate the cure for cancer

All the members of Amon Amarth combine to make Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson actually writes thrash metal........he just smoked some extremely good weed as a teenager, the effects are still lasting

Aids is just a bunch of tiny Dan Robinson’s that get into your bloodstream and doom your immune system to death

Dan Robinson has an uncanny ability to eat blue cheese, but only if provoked by ferrets

Mark Guy once questioned Dan Robinson's ability as a tr00 d00m metaller, Dan responded by infecting Mark with tapeworm, which is why he's so skinny

Dan Robinson was the original songwriter for "wake me up, before you go go" but the song was originally titled, Knuckle fucker

Little known fact: Dan Robinson is the Santa clause at the local mall during Christmas time.

Dan Robinson is responsible for starting the slave trade, coincidentally; he is a long time fan of 50 cent.

Dan Robinson did not kill Kenny

Dan Robinson did in fact, put “the bone inside her”

Anthony Simone never ended up drumming for Shroud of Bereavement because Dan Robinson ate him for playing too fast

Contrary to popular belief, Trix are also for Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson once had an eating contest with Gene Hoglan, but took 3224 days to eat the very same hot dog gene ate in .024 seconds, yet won because he’s Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson: That’s what it means to be from Maine

Dan Robinson doesn't care about black people

Fun fact: Dan Robinson was in the original starting lineup for the Lakers

Dan Robinson is the REAL Dread Pirate Roberts

Little known fact: Shrek was not a computer generated character, but was in fact Dan Robinson after obtaining food poisoning

Dan Robinson created metalcore for his own amusement……….the key word being AMUSEMENT

Dan Robinson writes music in 2 speeds: Slow and.....................oh wait, just slow

Dan Robinson is tougher than Vin Diesel

It has been said that knowing is half the battle........the other half is Dan Robinson

When people say that Dan Robinson IS Shroud of Bereavement, they're not kidding, Dan clones himself 6 times, with each clone taking a different form and instrument

Dan Robinson eats exactly 2 ham and mortar sandwiches between each chord change in Shroud songs

Dan Robinson doesn’t actually write his own music, he pays George Michaels who happens to be secretly a neo-classical doom metal master

Terri Schaivo went into a coma because Dan Robinson showed her a Shroud song and she didn't take a snack break during the song

Dan Robinson was paid to create Shroud of Bereavement by pharmaceutical companies that were trying to find the cure for insomnia

Its a well known fact, the average scholar can read approx. 5.7 pages of the Great Gatsby in between each snare hit in a Shroud song

Dan Robinson is the only person to ever land a roundhouse kick to the face of Chuck Norris

It wasn’t Varg that killed Euronymous; Dan Robinson took the form of Varg, killed Euronymous, ate his soul, and changed back to Dan Robinson

It takes Dan Robinson an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes

Dan Robinson doesn’t taste the rainbow, he writes insanely slow music

Dan Robinson actually goes on vacation to Florida during synth breaks when Shroud plays live

Dan Robinson stole the cookies from the cookie jar but neglected to eat them, for he was too busy “absolving sorrow”

Dan Robinson is Bob Barker in disguise (see “Dread Pirate Roberts”)

Dan Robinson has a hunger that only 3 and a half buffalo and a Little Debbie snack cake can satisfy

Dan is all that is Robinson

Dan Robinson once wrote a self help book called Cloud of Achievement

The WWF based the Ultimate Warrior on Dan Robinson

Vin diesel is just a rip-off of Dan Robinson, who is a rip-off of Woody Allen

Dan Robinson is above the rules of grammar

The Anal Cunt song “I pushed your wife in front of a subway” is actually a tale of how some lady told Dan Robinson doom metal sucks.

What’s the difference between Dan Robinson and Michael Jackson? Dan Robinson plays heavy metal and Michael Jackson fucks kids.

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