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:	post by KillerKadoogan at 2005-09-08 13:06:00

So here's the story:

I'm sitting at my house one night a couple of summers ago, and i get a phone call from my buddy Ryan.

Me: What's up, dude?
Ryan: Would you pay to see someone eat their own shit?
Me: Hahahaha what?
Ryan: Mandy's gonna do it for 40 bucks so she can pay her cell phone bill.
Me: Hahahaha fuck yeah. When?
Ryan: in like 20 minutes.
Me: YES!

So they (Ryan, my friend Shannon, her boyfriend, and Mandy) pick me up, and we drive off to Milano's Pizza right by the Lowell/Tewksbury line. (The other part of the deal is we have to buy her a pizza.)

Mandy and Shannon go into the bathroom (Shannon is videotaping, I'm narrating) as Mandy proceeds to shit into a plastic cup. They come out of the bathroom, and out into the parking lot.

At this point she gets into the backseat of Ryan's car, takes out a loaf of bread, spreads the shit onto a slice, and folds it up. Now, I'm thinking she probably won't go through with it, because she keeps pump faking the shit sandwich to her mouth. But, finally, she gobbles the fucker. She didn't even fucking puke, just dry-heaved a little and drank some Listerine.

We get back in the car and leave, and she starts to eat her pizza. For the purpose of narration I ask her what she's going to do when she gets home.

"I'm probably gonna take a shit and go to bed."

First of all, you still have to shit? And would that shit be extra shit-tastic?
Second of all, you're not even gonna brush your fucking teeth?!?

Shannon's boyfriend: How did it taste?

Mandy: Salty. (mows down more pizza)

So yeah, that's about that, although she tries to deny it, we have the whole fucking thing on video.

And to top it all off, she still didn't have enough money to pay off her cellphone.

I foresee a future of prostitution/midget porn.

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