This nigga Paul CNV. Yall heard about him? Homeboy be all up on Facebook talkin bout "jigga boo security guards" at Maryland Deathfest makin his honkey ass miss some band. First of all who is this muthafucka callin a jigga boo? This nigga look like the goddamn missin link. This knuckle draggin fool look like he just climbed out a exhibit at the damn Smithsonian. And why he hatin on a brother takin his time pattin niggas down? He ain't the one that tell you to leave yo wack ass chain wallet in the car. This nigga know what he's doin. He gettin paid by the hour, not by the bullet belt son. This nigga got his shit figured out. This nigga a entrepreneur. Now he got fools hatin on him. He got this job for lookin like the big ass Green Mile nigga. He makin the most of it. Yo ass got a job lookin like a honkey ass foo who can't do nothin but turn tha fried dough over when that shit gets brown. Ain't nobaady hatin on you.
post by TLDR at Apr 8,2014 10:45am
tryhard fagget
post by AUTISM = SUB HUMANS at Apr 8,2014 11:27am
GET A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE INTERNET
post by Kevin Hart at Apr 8,2014 12:05pm
How you gonna let a nigga call yo ass "Ratt Shittings?" That shit is messed up for real. But Real talk for a second tho right..... Y'all see that niggas nose? DAYYYYMMM. Most people 70% water for real this nigga 70% nose.
post by SINBAD at Apr 8,2014 1:23pm
Y'see, Massachusetts folks post like this... but Connecticut folks, they be all postin' like THIS.
post by Dave Chapelle at Apr 8,2014 3:18pm
So I'm talkin to my white friend Ron GSS... I ever tell you about this dude? So he says to me HAYYY DAAAVE. I'm like sup Ron. He says YOU WANNAA BUY A FRAMED CARNIVORE LP? I'm all like I dunno Ron man. Shit is framed I can't even listen to it. It ain't even that rare I dunno why you even framed it. How much is it? He says FIVE HUNDRED DOLLLLLARS. I'm like what the hell man. That nigga says to me BUT IT COMES WITH SCOTT CONNOR'S AUTOGRAPH. I'm like nigga you said it was a Carnivore LP not Xasthur why the hell Scott Connor gonna sign a Carnivore record? NO IT COMES WITH TWO GRAVESIDE SERVICE CDS SIGNED BY SCOTT CONNOR. Well what the hell man can't I just buy the Carnivore record without your dumbass shit attached to it? You a local band nigga why the hell you autographin your shit anyways. You ain't Killswitch Engage. Don't nobody care if you wrote on shit.
post by Bill Cosby at Apr 8,2014 4:18pm
So I pick up the newspaper see and there's this story about a man named "Raynard" And Raynard had this idea with the vinyl siding and the house and the Africans. This boy wrote about 6 paragraphs on the vinyl siding. Boy I tell you... I had a birthday while I was reading what he wrote. And then the police caught him he and went and done tried to blow his brains out. But he lived. And me I'm not surprised because it SEEEEMS to MEEEEE that this boy done had THE BRAIN DAMAGE already.
And donnnn get me started on no Eric Struth. This pepper way too stuffed full a himself u no what I'm sayin? And this fools posed ta do the AIDS walk? Good lawd. How much walkin he even gon be able ta survive? If tha cure for AIDS is hangin on how far this cracka can walk, Magic Johnson betta PA-RAAAY for his black ass. MMMMMMMMMMHMMM.
post by caucasian pls at Apr 8,2014 6:46pm
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post by caucasian pls at Apr 8,2014 6:47pm
post by Jon Taffer at Apr 8,2014 9:21pm
SHUT IT DOWN NOW!
post by jordy la forge at Apr 8,2014 9:21pm
Martin Lawrence on Wren please
post by Carlos Mencia at Apr 8,2014 9:47pm
This puta Paul CNV. Yall heard about him? Homeboy be all up on Facebook talkin bout "jigga boo security guards" at Maryland Deathfest makin his honkey ass miss some band. First of all who is this muthafucka callin a jigga boo? This gringo look like the goddamn missin link. This knuckle draggin fool look like he just climbed out a exhibit at the damn Smithsonian. And why he hatin on mi gente takin his time pattin eses down? He ain't the one that tell you to leave yo wack ass chain wallet in the car. This chingon know what he's doin. He gettin paid by the hour, not by the bullet belt son. This chingon got his shit figured out. This chingon a entrepreneur. Now he got fools hatin on him. He got this job for lookin like the big ass Green Mile negro. He makin the most of it. Yo ass got a job lookin like a honkey ass foo who can't do nothin but turn tha fried dough over when that shit gets brown. DE DE DEEEEE! Ain't nobaady hatin on you.
You gots ta have things in life ta count on. Like Wren. And yo band. And Wren likin yo band. Cuz if you got a band Wren gon like it. U know the sun gon rise in tha east and Wren gonn have yo band's sticker on his car before the ink even dry. Fo show'
You got a 9 piece djent band. Wren gon' like yo band.
You got a band that do Burzum covers on tha kazoo. Wren gon like yo band.
Yo got kicked outta Nocuous cuz u pay too much chil support. Wren gonna like yo new band.....
Unless yo ass in Inverticrux.... GOOD LAWWWWD kint nobody help yo ass if you in Inverticrux. When tha dood that like everrythan kint even like yo band you done FUCKED UP.
post by Paul Mooney at Apr 8,2014 11:17pm
Worst thing bout white folks, you can't tell white folks nothin. Yo try and tell Spence something that motherfucker wann talk to you bout shit he dont even know nothin about.
I tell Spence bout Lutha Vandross that motherfucker wanna tell you Bolt Thrower in 1988 was better
I tell Spence about the Million Man March tha foo wanna tell you Dynamo 91 was better
I tell Spence bout Jackie Robinson breakin the color barrier he wanna talk about Black Sean breakin the fagget barrier
I tell that nigga I hope Ryan fucks his dumb white ass and he tell Tommy Ryan passed out at the Rev's house was the best ass rape a' all time
Can't tell white folks nothin.
post by Spence_NLI at Apr 8,2014 11:35pm
Good one. I'm upstairs so I'm not logged in. Very funny. Go listen to Sadistic Intent's first EP. So brutal.
You got a 9 piece djent band. Wren gon' like yo band.
You got a band that do Burzum covers on tha kazoo. Wren gon like yo band.
Yo got kicked outta Nocuous cuz u pay too much chil support. Wren gonna like yo new band.....
Someone's gotta do Richard Pryor...
post by Mike Epps at Apr 9,2014 5:38pm
Yo you eva know somebady that cuz they done some situps they think they jacked? Sad niggas takin they shirt off fo no reason an they still lookin like a soft ass bitch. Like that nigga Dan Hammer. You seen that Elmo lookin bitch actin like takin like twenny speedo selfies a day? Fuck that nigga. Lemme ass u somethin man, how jacked that nigga think he be if he got his ass whooped by Carmine, cuz? CAR-MINE, b. That nigga buy his mothfuckin threads at Claires nigga. Nigga put on a pair a platform shoes an som sparkly tights go out n bust Dan Hammer's ass like he done stol his bike. Shit be like "yo Carmine u lookin cute cuz, u goin to a disco party a something" Nah, son I'm goin ta whoop Dan Hammer's ass. "DAN HAMMER" Psssh Dan hammer yo fuckin face in by a transvestite nigga. On dawgs nigga fuck Dan Hammer.
post by Request: at Apr 9,2014 8:39pm
Eddie Murphy
post by lies. at Apr 10,2014 2:30am
This is thread is just a bunch of UN funny white kids wishing they could come up with cool black comedian jokes. Le sigh. At least a black dude don't try so hard. Dayum.
post by lies. at Apr 10,2014 2:30am
This is thread is just a bunch of UN funny white kids wishing they could come up with cool black comedian jokes. Le sigh. At least a black dude don't try so hard. Dayum.
post by lies. at Apr 10,2014 2:30am
This is thread is just a bunch of UN funny white kids wishing they could come up with cool black comedian jokes. Le sigh. At least a black dude don't try so hard. Dayum.
I, for one, think this thread is hilarious. One of the best I've seen on this board in a while. On that note, someone should post as Eddie Murphy and make fun of MA Metalheads. I feel like that could be hysterical if properly executed.
post by Wesley Willis at Apr 10,2014 9:39am
Dan Hammer really got on ma nerves
He was playing terrible pizza thrash
He ridiculed me calling me autistic
I WHOOPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
I WHOOPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
I WHOOPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
I WHOOPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
I WHOPPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
I WHOOPED DAN HAMMER'S ASS
post by Eddie Murphy at Apr 10,2014 12:57pm
Hey man, lemme tell you somethin bout Michael Volpi. Muthafuckas got the wrong idea bout this dude. You look at this motherfucka not payin his chil support, thinkin it ain't no thing u think he stupid. U no he a poser ass motherfucka too. U kno he grew up wearin jncos till he done read the back cova of Lords a Chaos, ain't even tha whole thang, now he think he El Vargo Loco tha Mexican black metal god. You think he a straight up dumbass but Imma tell you motherfuckas you wrong about this motherfucka. This motherfucka a genius. This motherfucka a goddamn mexican thinktank.
Think about it. This motherfucka owe like 6 million somethin pesos in back child support and dont nobody eva come get it cuz this motherfucka playin some turrible metal show in his wack ass band erry single night. For real, you sittin around all mad wit your boys like EYY MAAAN, WE GON GET THIS VOLPI MUTHAFUCKA. LOOK AT HIS FACEBOOK WHERE HIS BAND PLAYIN TANIGHT? Daymmm. Muthafuckas playin towie metal night at tha Flywheel that shit like 4 hours away. Ya boy like WELL WHO DEY PLAYIN WIT? U like shit... Murrum, Alcoholocaust muthafucka don't nobody wanna see this shit. You lookin at the flyer like goddamn man there like twenna-six bands on this show, muthafucka it a Tuesday night. Muthafuckas kids gonna be 18 by the time this shit over with annaways. U like where they playin tomorrow and it the same shit in Conenntakit with the same twenna six wack ass bands. Aint nobody goin near that shit.
He a goddamn genius. Hidin in plain sight and dont nobody wanna go near that shit. Like he in the Mexican witness protection program. El Railroad Subterraineo or some shit goin wack ass show ta wack ass show keepin this muthafucka safe. If you in a band people actually go see an play good shows u tha moron. U knock a bitch up they gon find yo ass. It nearly impossible to be inna band for that long and not improve yo shit one goddam bit less u doin it on purpose. Motherfucka gon win a Mexican Nobel motherfuckin Prize someday: For Noteworthy Accomplishments in Chil Support Duckin and or Bean Re-fryin' AH HEEEEHHH HEHHHH HHEEEHHHHHH
Good. I'm glad you mutually agree that you are gross and have a grandma ass.
As if your juice-fueled physique is anything to write home about. Nice roid zits, by the way - they make you look like even more of a fag.
post by Martin Lawrence at the Newport Comedy Tent at Apr 10,2014 10:41pm
Yo I got my man Dwyer here. Yeeaaahh. Dwyer son WASSSSSSSSUUUUPPPPP. That's my dawg, b. Yo y'all kno this nigga old. Homeboy was at the last supper tryin' set up a merch table nahI'm sayyyin. Distros wusnt even invented fo another two thounsin years they still told that nigga no. Sorry b, we bumpin yo ass fo Nuclear Blast u no how it is. Bidness is bidness.
Nah I'm playin. U my dawg Dwyer man U MY BOYYYYYYY DWWYYAAAAA. But for real niggas be bustin on Dwyer fo bein creepy, an that shit's true. I love my dawg but for real u be seein pictures of him with bitches and them bitches lookin scared as hell. You flip through them things fast enough u see that bitch blinkin morse code fuckin SOS HELP NIGGA.
But for real, all yall trippin on Dwyer creepin fall back. For real chill out.... Ya'll know that nigga's dick don't work. For real son. Would a nigga with a workin dick do the things he do? U imagine goin on a date wit tha nigga showin in in Metal Blade sweatpants. Tryina impress u talkin bout how Richard Christy left them at his grandma's house. Then he take u back ta his room.... That fuckin museum a bullshit he post like seven hunded pictures of a day with the motherfuckin CDS an tapes errywhere. Now here how I know that nigga ain't ever got no pussy. If that nigga jerked off too hard around that bullshit he'd be wearin that muthafuckin shit. U ain't gonna get no bitch to take her panties off if she think she gonna get buried under no Cannibal Corpse box set. U jizz on that bitches back she ain' gonna wanna get supermaned with no Facial Defecation demo, son. For real, stop trippin on the man. Yo girl be comin to you like "OHHH MA GOOOOOOODNESS..... OHHHH MA GOOOOODNESS.... DWYA DONE POKED ME ON FACEBOOK." U be like bitch shut the fuck up that nigga dick don't even work. That shit got bit off by a dinosaur. He cut that shit off an sold it fo a ride on Noah's Ark. I don' even know what. That motherfucka dick don't work.
I'm just playing Dwyer U so craaazy son WASSSSSSAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP
You loan your friend $18. You see them again, they don't say nothin' 'bout the $18. 'Hi, how ya doin'? How's ya mama doing?' Man, how's my $18 doin'?
post by Richard Pryor at Apr 12,2014 11:43am
So let me tell you about the time I was doing cocaine with Andrew Bastard in the bathroom of O'Briens
post by Richard Pryor at Apr 12,2014 11:47am
How the fuck? Man this phone is a piece of shit. I don't even know how the fuck.....but whatever. Where was I? Cocaine. Thats right, cocaine. Man, I fucking love cocaine.
post by Richard Pryor at Apr 12,2014 11:50am
How the fuck? Man this phone is a piece of shit. I don't even know how the fuck.....but whatever. Where was I? Cocaine. Thats right, cocaine. Man, I fucking love cocaine.
post by Richard Pryor at Apr 12,2014 11:52am
So let me tell you about the time I was doing cocaine with Andrew Bastard in the bathroom of O'Briens
request: Chris Tucker telling xmikex Game of Thrones spoilers
post by Eddie Griffin at Apr 16,2014 9:04pm
Lemme tell ya bout Divaldo Gustavo. You heard about this banana nigga? Motherfucka walkin around like he Tito Cavalera or somethin drivin his bitch ass from show to show gettin kicked right the fuck off that shit. What's this boy thinkin? Motherfucker got the whole scene out ta kick his ass an this nigga stop an say "ey B I'm famous, I'mma start a new band. Niggas gon love this" Cept that nigga don't even no that many words. You call that nigga out on being a fuckin dumbass all that nigga got ta say is "But." But what nigga? Where tha rest a' that story, on the muthafuckin raft with tha rest a' yo family?
Now I been black a long time. Ya'll can't just tell me shit that don't make no sense. So everah' tiiime Robin Goodhue go an open his mouth you got ta tell that boy to shut the fuck up. Looooooowd what is wrong wit that boy? That humpty dumpty lookin fool done told everybody he in everah' gang they is. He done told people he a blood, a crip, FSU, hammer skin, a hammer head shark, a muthafuckin Hamburgler it don't matter what. Don't nobody believe his rolly polly ass eva beat nobody in a fight. You give that boy a tube a Aquafresh that fool couldn fight plaque buildup, I tell u. Give that boy his credit tho, biggest motherfucker he even fought he finally beat, oh yeah... he whooped that motherfucker good...... too bad that motherfucker was his girlfriend. Oh lawwd. That boy's record is 200 - 1 wit one KO on a bitch. The boy a punk ass homo but at least he didn get swept. WHO U WIT... Not Robin, boy I tell you.
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