I'm presently waiting in line for a delicious crabcake panini at the 24 hour Gourmet Heaven fuckmart in New Haven. There is an aqua-capri and suspender, bandana and ironic t-shirt clad Yalie buttdart holding up my progress with his alternAzn gf who I would project GRID upon but that would be far too merciful.

I would honestly delight in a ten-VHS-set-on-EP-speed-box-set of his excruciating deterioration and demise and the subsequent mourning of his family, friends, loved ones and partners. Please God, Jesus, God and Baby Jesus, make it so.

Have YOU ever wished death and/or worse upon an alleged human simply upon looking at them?

Post your hatred here. Let the poison out of your system.

Just letting you know I am sincere. As a man who prides himself on my gift of articulation, I am at a loss to accurately convey my legitimate and focused hatred. If I had a cup, I would sincerely pisscup this subhuman specimen... all because I found him to be such an eyesore.

With that said, you have .02% insight into the scorn I levy upon this untermensch. If I had AIDS, I would have raped him.

Please Yahweh, God of faggots, endow me with AIDS so that I might rape this world clean of such human blight.

And let the record show that I cherish the gays. They are a fine people whose work against reproduction and Abrahamic mores I admire. The sentient amongst them too would wish decimation und extinction upon the populace I pontificate against.

I support this advocacy..

Why did i just get smacked in the face with deja vu' with this fucking thread?

Good thread.

i really do wonder where and why in someones life do they decide to become a hipster.

When they find out they have GAIDS and have taken to many adderall

lulz probably

This is why you can curse someone, ritualistically.

Since I am unlucky enough to travel about 4000 miles a month by car, I am forced to leave my quiet woodland compound frequently, hence exposing myself to such humanity. My thoughts of violence towards my "fellow" humans are constant - from hipsters to simple retarded tourists, I hate them all. When I lay my eyes on a pussy such as this, I catch myself scanning the immediate area for a suitable object to inflict life-changing/ending blunt force trauma to said eyesore.

Pride yourself in the fact that this piece-of-shit's parents most likely wallow in disappointment that such a horrendous excuse for a human being was spawned from their loins.

Also, you should consider moving out of CT - that state is unfortunately a magnet for douchebaggery.

I'm going to clean some guns now.

i approve this message

Man, if you ran into the same number of neon-clad, '80s-shades/ horizontal-striped shirt/bandana-wearing, purposefully bad haircut-having assholes that I run into playing shows with Ladderlegs, there might just BE the above-mentioned massacre.

It's ludicrous. There are a handful of people I've met in that fucking "scene" who are really nice people, a few good bands, but most of the time I just wanna lay waste to the building after I hoard up all their hipster-loving girlfriends and take 'em home with me.

Example:

There's a band called Earthquake Party, and this one fucking kid wants SO BADLY to look strung out, to be heroin-addicted, to be in the fucking Velvet Underground or something... can't wait til he actually trieds it and ODs...

Another example:

Last night we played a bar called the Red Onion in the middle-of-nowhere MA, and I genuinely LOVED the place. Despite the Kid Rock etc on the stereo, I felt more at home and comfortable surrounded by semi-rednecks (and by sluts making out on a mechanical bull) than I do when I'm at O'Brien's, surrounded by a bunch of fuckwits who are really only there to be a "hip musician type", or to make their Buddy Holly glasses-wearing girlfriend THINK they're a "hip musician type", or to jerk off on each others bands so they can get a show at Harper's Ferry opening for Magic Magic or whichever other trash, boring, synth-pop garbage band they'd RATHER be jerking off on. Most of the rest of the bands were so THRILLED to be FACETIOUSLY involved with this place, they all had this little "holier than thou" smirk on their faces all night. Fuck.

I can't wait for all these fucks to look back (the way people do NOW on Flock of Seagulls etc) at themselves in 20 years and kill themselves off. Which they WILL. This is where my hope lies. Hipsters are the end of any sort of new culture we could've expected, and they'll be the end of themselves when they turn 30 and can't be what they hoped to be. Or they'll just hang around Allston, or move to Austin, TX, or Ashville, NC, or Portland, OR, or wherever the next hipster haven turns out to be.

Meantime, we (meaning myself and the people I know on this board) will still be making music, because we can't help it, because we love it, and because there will be ANOTHER crop of douchebags, retro-fitted douchebags, who will give us just one more reason to hate humanity, on the whole.

Sorry that wound up being so long. I know you all know where I'm coming from though.

Thanks for the chance to vent, sir.

That said, though, we're not "metal enough" to play shows with any of your bands, and not "punk enough" to play with any of your OTHER bands, so we're pretty much relegated to playing with "indie" bands and whatever the fuck else you wanna call it.

I am stuck in purgatory, folks.

Oh, and can't forget the pseudo-hippies playing pseudo-folk music who think they're homeless or something, and play middle-of-the-road, wannabe semi-country pap that makes me almost, ALMOST rather hang out at James Taylor concerts with middle aged women.

i thoroughly approve of this thread. the new wave of metal hipsters makes me want to cut my own throat. i don't care what anyone says with their "just don't pay attention to them" bullshit, it's fucking impossible when you are surrounded by them like locusts. i need an anti-hipster ray gun like the ones the machines use in War of the Worlds.

Play Duck Duck Goose about it.

in allston you either get ironic mustache wearing douchebags or stupid fucking popped collar bro-fags. the only win is that theres still a shit load of hot bitches in this town but most of them are either sitting on the ironic mustaches or popping a bro-fags collar for him.

haha true

Hipster Faggot Elimination

Tom Bombadil and the Unnatural Moustached Hipster Disasters

free mustache rides for dirty hipster and emo girls.

i don't think i've seen one girl in Allston that made me think anything other than "i wish you were dead".

Hopefully I'll get to deny a hipster or two Ipsissimerch tonight. Done it before and I'll do it again and again and again and again and again

I don't buy band merch from unoriginal bands. Get bent.

Can I cum on your balls?

if i could deny hipsters pizza that would be fucking hilarious but then we'd make no money

shoot a reagan about it, faggot.

That's why we kicked you out of Profantica.

Ahahahahaha

Yes, especially hipsters, who are the trust fund babies of the vaisya nouveau riche.

mehh, ryan isnt the type to wear glorified makeup (corpsepaint) anyways.
im glad im in the northeast corner of CT, where theres far less hipsters. the ones that are here are clamouring to get out to a more cosmopolitan urban area. im ok with that. my distancing from the scene was a good thing, as like kadoogan said, i feel more at home with bikers and half-hicks and their wives making out on a mechanical bull and floppy biker tits flying around everywhere than i do at an urban bar with a bunch of scene kids

You, of all people have no right to talk. You're the most elitist metal fanboy out there. It's hip to be elite, therefore you = hipster. Keep decrying all is wrong with the metal world and keep listening to all the music you decry as "the best", hipster.

decry about it, fagoot!

Bad troll.

this thread rules

Pffft - what's "glorified" about it? Was anyone confused that corspepaint is, in fact, makeup? Where are these confused metalheads and how can we educate them?

Hipsters violate the Geneva Convention on so many levels.

ryan do you still have the black on black shirts? do want. you guys killed last night by the way

EDIT: ^third time telling you. never disappoint

with a 12 gauge slug. burn a church and slit a throat or 2. then you can tell me how blackmetal you are

If our People's Revolution is successful, we can machine-gun everyone who is not in the Party.

Rape, It's whats for dinner.

ManRape, it's a good afternoon snack.

* blinks long lashes at you *

Bring back the draft, put all these faggots in the army it'll cure them

Cut their hair and issue them uncomfortable starchy undergarments.

lawl

I know a guy who identifies as a Hipster and he says that the people described in this thread have next to nothing to do with the real thing... this guy likes Prog, Thrash, Tech Deth, and a smidgeon of Indie most Hipsters would find appealing. I have yet to hear him be an elitist snob past "Deathcore and Metalcore all sucks" if that even counts. So people, I ask of you, what the fuck's up here?

trolls trolling trolls

If this dude you know openly and willingly identifies as a hipster you should cease any and all communication with him... and skin him alive.

THAT IS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP HERE.

To me, a hipster is someone who goes out of their way to be "hip", or to be looked at as cool by everyone else at all the superhip shows and parties they go to, etc.

That said, a lotta metalheads could be considered hipsters. Or scenesters, I guess.

"Hey, I got this new Black Witchery shirt, I bet YOU don't know where to find it... god I'm awesome..."

So...

Either your friend who CALLS himself a hipster is into all that prog, etc, to be ironic or whatever, like it's HILARIOUS to listen to Kansas, or he's disillusioned enough to think that it's a GOOD thing to be a hipster.

I know hipster USED to be a good thing. "Hipsters Avenue" by James Brown, etc. But hipster = scenester at this point, only worse. Just a vague LOOK that says "HEY GUYS, I LIKE MUSIC, CAN YOU TELL I'M IN A BAND? CAN YOU TELL I READ PITCHFORK? WANNA SEE MY TV ON THE RADIO TATTOO? I LIKED MODEST MOUSE BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS."

Well put.

Lies! I have played at least one show with Ladderlegs, probably more than I just can't remember.

hahaha, fair enough, Senor Bungalito.

I still wanna play a show with Rampant Decay etc. Despite the presence of our hipster-looking guitarist, who is one of the misguided good ones, I fully believe we'd hold our own on a stage with any o you Massholes.

I mean that in all kindness. I MISS YOU GUYS. WAH WAH WAH etc.

I support the Hipster Holocaust.