Need some help finding us a fourth member to play keyboards.

We used to be a four-piece way back when (two guys, two girls), but for years we've been a three piece (guitarist, drummer, and a female singer/bassist). At this point we've decided it would be better for us to have a fourth member again because I'm currently stuck playing the guitar and keyboard parts at the same time when we play out live.

While obviously someone who rips on the piano/keyboard would certainly not be a bad thing, that's not really a requirement for us at all, as our songs generally have string parts that aren't technically difficult to play at all. Our main requirements are really more along the lines of:

1. Someone who has a true passion for metal (no Amy Lee "who's Iron Maiden" type poseurs, obviously)

2. Someone who fits with us personally and professionally

If someone is technically ripping on their instrument and can trade off solos that's great too, but as I said above it's really not necessary; the above two things are WAY more important.

The ability to do some back-up vocals would also be a plus, but again not required.


Anybody know anybody who'd want to try out for this? Appreciate any and all suggestions.

(860) 450-1548 shadowsd@snet.net www.suicide-dream.com

does the the drummer need a gf?

Ha ha, actually believe it or not none of that being allowed within the band is a rule that we've had for > 10 years - bands where that goes on always end up imploding EVERY TIME.

Any woman thinking of taking this job can rest assured they never have to worry about the ugly hairy doods in this band hitting on them - maybe I should start the ad with that instead, it'd probably get a lot more takers.

Paging Samantha...

Not to be a dick but what does it matter whether the keyboardist is male or female? I can understand if you're going for female vocals but you mentioned backing vocals wasn't a must. I can't remember a time where i thought.. we need a keyboard part here..but IT HAS TO BE A GIRL! I dont play the keys nor am i that interested. Ok..i'm a dick.

So the main requirement is a vagina.

I'd join if you'd let me tuck my junk under. It's better than the belt boner trick.

Well, our previous keyboardist did also sing, and as I said it would be preferred in this instance because harmony vocals are always a good thing - however, I figured I'd have better luck putting up an ad for one thing than asking for two, and I'd just be happy to find someone who could play keys at this point because harmony vocals could always possibly happen at some point in the future once we've worked with the person. You never know. If we pick a guy, that door is permanently closed, unless we wanted to do the male/female vocal thing, which we don't.

Also, there was something cool about when there were two guys/two girls in the band in terms of the balance of the energy; it's also a little more rare to have an even split, where having a metal band with one female member and a bunch of guys is a bit more run of the mill.

But yes, the keyboard certainly can't tell the difference.

Email the girls that were in Rain Fell Within.

Looking for a female skin flautist for Craigslist themed BM band.

That's not a bad idea, I think they're from VA but it's worth a shot...

Boo to gender requirements in music. Boo.

SEXISTS!!!

They are from down there. But I believe Dawn might have been doing something up here at some point but I could be hugely mistaken.

And Laurie has Todesbonden.

as i recall, they both had real long red hair. BOING

Hey, don't get a boner, that's SEXIST (apparently, I'm threatening to push the 95% sausage party rate in metal bands down to 94% by posting this ad, presumably leading us all to be devoured by a giant vagina).

Still sexist.

What if your ad said your were looking for a white keyboardist?
That would make you a RACIST.

Don't argue with a man. You can't win. Why are you even posting on a messageboard? You should be cooking someone a delicious dinner.

A swing...

and a miss.

Not even the right stadium, dude.

Hey, you're talking female only, boners, sausage parties. I assumed I was either talking to a chick or a queer. Chick seemed the most likely, but I was deceived by your homosexual agenda.

Priorities.

Yeah, only gay guys want to play in bands with women, straight guys on the other hand want nothing but cock around, you've convinced me.

There is no way I have time to be in a band. My job is killing me right now. Besides, my drunken opera vocals are just hilarious.

Women are not objects to be placed behind a keyboard, Shadow. You'll never make it to the Democracy Center with that attitude!

Haha

Back to the Museum of Tolerance for me.

Tell that to the Mediaeval Baebes.

Different animals. You can't tell me men and women are the same in the interest of equality. I agree with Shadow about females bringing their own "energies" to any creative project. Each has their own strengths and weaknesses in any aspect of life. Besides, I don't think SD is an equal opportunity employer anyway.

I personally like when bands incorporate female vocals. Just can't be unattractive because music is entertainment and flab isn't entertaining to fap to.

More women in metal is a good thing. When I think of how great some of those who broke though have been (Doro Pesche, Lita Ford, Sean Yseult, The Great Kat, Kimberly Goss, Cristinia Scabbia, etc.) it's impossible for me to come to any conclusion other than that there's so much untapped potential out there.

That said is, though, I think the gender aspect of all this is being a little overplayed by those characterizing it as a main requirement in our ad; after all, 52% of the population is female, so finding a female is not hard - but finding a band member that loves metal, is totally dedicated, and fits with three people who have been working together for almost a decade is the real challenge.

Lita Ford ftw.

You're better off finding 2 members, dude:
- keyboard player (99% of keyboardists that enjoy metal are men)
-female vocals

I'd recommend putting ads around berklee.

Whoa, what's all this talk about cock? So, are you in the closet, out of the closet, or still undecided.

ShadowSD I apologize. I just went and listened to some of the mp3s (skimmed through them) and you indeed need chicks in the band. I understand the business and if the music doesn't bring the people in you need some sort of novelty. Fapable chicks is probably the best way to go.

I said "devoured by a giant vagina" first, that should have convinced you I was straight by that logic - and yet you still got confused and thought I was a chick.

So to make it simple for you, I have a wife and kid, the female form is unparalleled in beauty, and every girlfriend I've had as an adult was a D cup or higher. Something tells me you've gone for smaller chested women than that as they more closely resemble a masculine figure, given that you go around message boards wishing that straight guys were gay.



Well, if it draws in people who then listen to the music and like it, then that's cool - but at the end of the day, it's gotta be the music people ultimately like. For instance, we've never marketed ourselves around selling the image of the women in our band in any kind of demeaning or raunchy way, we've always stayed away from that approach. The women in this band have been equals, not novelties.

That's a good idea, too, although hopefully they won't mind driving an hour and a half to Storrs, CT for practice - I suppose if they're serious they'd do it, Laurel has been driving that far to get to practice the whole time she's been in this band.

I suppose it's more a matter of how many kids at Berklee have cars than anything else... but I'll try some flyers there.

Well then. Be prepared for some douchebag who thinks he knows more than you about music theory. Just sayin'.

half my band went to berklee...

Ha, that will be fun. I would actually consider that sport.

Hmmm, I should definitely do it then... I've never been there before but hopefully it's not too hard to find and get around.

haha right? i've never met someone who knew more yet cared less about music theory lol

really? It's been hit or miss with me. some students are chill but as with any "prestigious" (although berklee ain't really great no more nilla) music school, artistic egos develop. hate to generalize, but hopefully you know what I'm saying.

Here's an old thread from the rttp archives:
http://text.returntothepit.com/forum.php?id=51990&downloads=42

i generally agree with that outlook too.. i still find it hard to believe alex and evan both went there. i think that place instills a pretty shitty musical attitude in most people.

What's this rule you speak of stinky? I used to bang the drummer many years ago and you wanted to bang me.

Actually, I would love to duct tape your package to your stomach and fuck you doggy style. That's not gay. That's just a show of dominance.

One reason I'm so skeptical of all this constant (sometime obsessive) harping on/impersonating paganmegan and calling her a slut on this board is because in the six months she played with us, I saw zero evidence of this. When I met her, she was in another band that she had been in with a boyfriend for some time, and then they broke up and I didn't see her hook up with anyone in the time she was with our band, at least while I was around - and she had the spare room in my apartment for a couple of months when she was in between places, but never brought a dude to the apartment in that time, nor did I see her dating anyone else, and obviously the interband stuff is a total lie. I only spoke to her a few times once she moved up to Boston, but I doubt she could have changed that much since then, so I call BS on this slut meme.

OK, so to review...

Cock? Gay.
Vagina? Gay.

Gay Anal Sex?

You learn something new everyday on rttp.

Being able to rip/shred on keyboard is not a requirement, but being a woman is?

So glad i spoke up. Hopefully the new keyboardist isn't a hermaphrodite.

I generally don't care about female vocals in metal but then again, most of that is located within Gothic/Opera/Symphonic metal. Draconian is a band that uses a female vocalist as a backup. I don't hate it in moderation.

We're just looking to get ideally something along the lines of what we had before, two guys and two girls. If one hasn't been in a band with that composition it's hard to appreciate the sense of balance in so many areas, but it really is there.

As far as your question, one can potentially improve their technique at keyboards, and one who does not sing can potentially learn to do back-ups; however, as I said earlier, bringing in a dude means they could NEVER do back-up vocals in the future (because girls sound WAY better harmonizing each other than the cliched male/female thing in my opinion). After all, it's one thing for a person not to have certain skills when they walk in the door, and another thing entirely if those skills can never be gained/used.

Laurel (our singer/bassist) is a good example of this, and of how technical skill can't be the first metric you look for. When she started with us, she wasn't John Myung, but it didn't matter; she knew what notes to play with me (and more importantly, what NOT to play), and that's worth a thousand times more, because ever since I met her I knew never wanted to play with any other bassist/guitarist. Within a year or two she was far more technically skilled (although she is still ridiculously modest and insists she sucks to this day), but if we had picked some of the dudes who ripped on bass and auditioned for us in 2001, they wouldn't have EVER been able to eventually learn how to hear the same notes in their head as I was, and to have that real time connection. That isn't learned; it's either there or it isn't.

Shadow, I was never good enough for you was I? Well, anyway.....Happy 4th and a dick in my mouth's a dick in my mouth, right?

I think that's actually enscribed on the Statue of Liberty, and login if it's really you or color me skeptical given all the trolls here who pretend to be you from time to time.

That only leaves rape