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returntothepit >> discuss >> plague of remakes by blessed offal on Feb 25,2010 3:33pm
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toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Feb 25,2010 3:33pm
im aware that everyone is aware that remakes are generally stupid and pointless, but looking at my newest fangoria where all 5 movies on the cover are remakes, its really starting to bother me. just in the last 10 years we've had, or are getting remakes of

-halloween 1 + 2
-the texas chainsaw massacre
-nightmare on elm street
-dawn of the dead
-the crazies
-piranha
-the wolfman
-night of the demons
-my bloody valentine
-two thousand maniacs
-the amityville horror
-black christmas
-the cabinet of dr caligari
-carrie
-charlie and the chocolate factory
-alice in wonderland
-children shouldnt play with dead things
-last house on the left
-the day the earth stood still
-war of the worlds
-flash gordon
-the fog
-friday the 13th
-funny games
-the hills have eyes 1 +2
-house of wax
-I am legend
-king kong
-logans run (yes they actually remade logans fucking run)
-walking tall
-the manchurian candidate
-the omen
-planet of the apes
-prom night
-spartacus
-the stepfather
-13 ghosts
-when a stranger calls
-the wicker man

im sure theres many more, and they arnt all bad, but fuck off hollywood



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Feb 25,2010 3:35pm
Love how Hollywood ran out of good ideas to steal so they started remaking Jap horror until they ran out of those too.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Feb 25,2010 3:38pm
i didn't know they redid Night of the Demons. i bet it's terrible. some have been really good, but overall it's an epic fail.



toggletoggle post by MikeofdecrepitudE at Feb 25,2010 3:38pm
blessed%20offal said[orig][quote]

-logans run (yes they actually remade logans fucking run)

fuck off hollywood


THERE IS NO GOD.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Feb 25,2010 3:39pm
oh yeah and don't forget that we're getting Clash of the Titans this year.

FUCK OFF HOLLYWOOD



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Feb 25,2010 3:45pm
The Crazies and Nightmare On Elm St. remakes look pretty decent. Other than that there are about 2 others I see on that list that weren't complete travesties.

Why the fuck would they remake Night Of The Demons?! How about they just re-release the first 2, or even all of them for novelty value? Fucking idiots.



toggletoggle post by arktouros at Feb 25,2010 3:47pm
Yeti said[orig][quote]
oh yeah and don't forget that we're getting Clash of the Titans this year.

FUCK OFF HOLLYWOOD


ahahahh..i remember the steam coming off my classics teacher's face when someone mentioned that movie. haven't seen it.



toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Feb 25,2010 3:48pm
Yeti said[orig][quote]
i didn't know they redid Night of the Demons. i bet it's terrible. some have been really good, but overall it's an epic fail.


well its not out yet, i think its slated to be released sometime this summer



toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Feb 25,2010 3:49pm
Yeti said[orig][quote]
oh yeah and don't forget that we're getting Clash of the Titans this year.

FUCK OFF HOLLYWOOD


oh fuck how could i forget this upcoming pile of frothy dog shit. AND theyre making conan, AND another taxi driver, although not a remake.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Feb 25,2010 3:50pm
Also, I remember at a private screening of Hatchet when it first came out, the creator of the movie gave a half hour to an hour long speech about his experiences making the movie. Apparently everyone in Hollywood told him, "Real horror fans don't want originals. Real horror fans want remakes, sequels, and American remakes of Japanese horror movies." I was almost deafened by the sound of disapproval from several hundred "fake horror fans" by Hollywood's standards.



toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Feb 25,2010 3:51pm
i think someone should do a night at like the coolidge or the brattle or somerville or somewhere decent where they show the original films of movies that are being remade. id love to see the original wicker man on film.



toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Feb 25,2010 3:52pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
Also, I remember at a private screening of Hatchet when it first came out, the creator of the movie gave a half hour to an hour long speech about his experiences making the movie. Apparently everyone in Hollywood told him, "Real horror fans don't want originals. Real horror fans want remakes, sequels, and American remakes of Japanese horror movies." I was almost deafened by the sound of disapproval from several hundred "fake horror fans" by Hollywood's standards.


how was that movie by the way? i thought it looked pretty good but never got around to it for whatever reason.



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Feb 25,2010 3:54pm
I personally loved Hatchet, especially knowing the complete back story about it. It was the perfect slasher film for this generation; gory as fuck, steady moving action, bearable acting and a touch of comedy. I guess there's a new one being made with less humor and more gore. I'm already wet with excitement.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Feb 25,2010 3:58pm
arktouros said[orig][quote]
Yeti said[orig][quote]
oh yeah and don't forget that we're getting Clash of the Titans this year.

FUCK OFF HOLLYWOOD


ahahahh..i remember the steam coming off my classics teacher's face when someone mentioned that movie. haven't seen it.


Rules, HARD. (There's a LOT of Ray Harryhausen influence in D&D, BTW - old-school sword & sandal shit rules.)



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 25,2010 4:18pm
I heard they were fucking remaking hellraiser. wtf!



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Feb 25,2010 4:41pm edited Feb 25,2010 4:47pm
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
Also, I remember at a private screening of Hatchet when it first came out, the creator of the movie gave a half hour to an hour long speech about his experiences making the movie. Apparently everyone in Hollywood told him, "Real horror fans don't want originals. Real horror fans want remakes, sequels, and American remakes of Japanese horror movies." I was almost deafened by the sound of disapproval from several hundred "fake horror fans" by Hollywood's standards.


except for the "real horror fan" part ...he's right. this is what people want because people are dumb.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Feb 25,2010 4:46pm edited Feb 25,2010 4:47pm
give people what they want... profit
don't give people what they want... failure



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at Feb 25,2010 4:48pm
waste not want not



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Feb 25,2010 4:51pm
FuckIsMySignature said[orig][quote]
MarkFuckingRichards said[orig][quote]
Also, I remember at a private screening of Hatchet when it first came out, the creator of the movie gave a half hour to an hour long speech about his experiences making the movie. Apparently everyone in Hollywood told him, "Real horror fans don't want originals. Real horror fans want remakes, sequels, and American remakes of Japanese horror movies." I was almost deafened by the sound of disapproval from several hundred "fake horror fans" by Hollywood's standards.


except for the "real horror fan" part ...he's right. this is what people want because people are dumb.


Well yeah, all I was saying is that Hollywood's idea of "real horror fan" is fucking retarded, and that's also what Hatchet's creator was saying as well.



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Feb 25,2010 5:40pm
the_reverend said[orig][quote]
give people what they want... profit
don't give people what they want... [URL='http://www.returntothepit.com/band.php?

step 2: ???

band=bane_of_existence']failure



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Feb 26,2010 7:21am
the_reverend said[orig][quote]
I heard they were fucking remaking hellraiser. wtf!


i've heard that too, since the last 15 Hellraiser movies bombed so bad. they'll never recapture the wet grossness of the original.



toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Mar 1,2010 10:52pm
just saw theyre remaking the karate kid as well, with jackie chan as mr miyagi (however you spell that)



toggletoggle post by Blessed Offal at Apr 18,2011 3:24am



toggletoggle post by nekronaut  at Apr 18,2011 4:03am
Prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing?




toggletoggle post by aaron_michael  at Apr 18,2011 1:41pm
-halloween 1 + 2 = Garbage and Garbage part 2
-the texas chainsaw massacre = over produced piece of shit with a bitch who dons Steven Tylers mouth
-nightmare on elm street = still haven't seen it, still won't see it
-dawn of the dead = running zombies? go fucking.
-the crazies = didn't like the original, but I like Timothy Olyphant, so this was decent.
-piranha = didn't see it
-the wolfman = not a bad adaptation. They put some of the unhappiest people in the world in the movie, so that added to the goodness.
-night of the demons = they remade this? straight to DVD I'm guessing.
-my bloody valentine = didn't see it, don't want to see it.
-two thousand maniacs = didn't see it, don't want to see it.
-the amityville horror = Van Wilder is le crazy. Fuck that.
-black christmas = original was dumb, remake was dumb.
-the cabinet of dr caligari = they remade this?
-carrie = I thought they made a sequel to this?
-charlie and the chocolate factory = faggot tree.
-alice in wonderland = ultimately, Tim Burton should just cut it the fuck out.
-children shouldnt play with dead things = they remade this?
-last house on the left = didn't see it, iffy about wanting to.
-the day the earth stood still = Keanu Reeve is an emotionless alien. What the fuck is the difference?
-war of the worlds = I like it. The acting was poor but with Spielburg behind the wheel, he made it look good. Even without Stan Winston.
-flash gordon = they should remake Flesh Gordon
-the fog = garbage.
-friday the 13th = someone put WAY too much thought into this franchise. more garbage.
-funny games = nothing memorable, but not awful. Another remake made too close to it's original for people to truly give a shit. Foreign or not.
-the hills have eyes 1 +2 = dumb, dumber. Most people didn't even remember a HHE2.
-house of wax = Elisha Cuthbert's butt. Yes. Paris Hilton. Ugh.
-I am legend = Fuck Will Smith. Fuck him right in his self-riteous ear. Did you see Seven Pounds? Wanna-be godsend. Best part about this movie was the dog. Then the dog dies.
-king kong = I liked this! Peter Jackson can do no wrong after Meet The Feebles/Dead Alive/Bad Taste. Adrian Brody rules too.
-logans run (yes they actually remade logans fucking run) = didn't see it, didn't know about it
-walking tall = the Rock hitting shit. I'd rather watch The Rundown.
-the manchurian candidate = didn't see it, don't want to see it
-the omen = I liked Mia Farrow's cameo/role in this. that's about it.
-planet of the apes = Tim Burton....
-prom night = no Jamie Lee, no care.
-spartacus = huh? when?
-the stepfather = Didn't see it, kind of want to. It's got the guy from Nip Tuck/Congo who's half way decent, and really entertaining when he's angry.
-13 ghosts = I thought the original was as B as you can get, I thought the remake should have had a different name because it was great.
-when a stranger calls = bullshit garbage.
-the wicker man = didn't see it, but the only good thing to come out of this movie is Nic Cage's youtube viral video of him losing his shit for 4 minutes straight.




toggletoggle post by blessed offal at Apr 18,2011 2:37pm
Actually I have to say I truly enjoy the wicker man remake the best. I wish they remade more stuff like day of the dead and return of the living dead.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at Apr 18,2011 3:19pm
i actually really liked the TCM "remake". the second one with Jordana Brewster was abysmal. Piranha is awesome.



toggletoggle post by ArrowHeadNLI at Apr 18,2011 3:28pm
My favorite was when they made another HULK movie before I even got to see the first one.



toggletoggle post by Alx_Casket  at Apr 18,2011 3:35pm


Only the 80's "Dr. Caligari" was real.



toggletoggle post by Headbanging_Man at Apr 18,2011 6:13pm
Supposedly Maniac is on the way :(



toggletoggle post by BlessedOffalNLI at Apr 18,2011 7:45pm
blessed%20offal said[orig][quote]
Actually I have to say I truly enjoy the wicker man remake the best. I wish they remade more stuff like day of the dead and return of the living dead.
: (



toggletoggle post by Aaron_michael  at Apr 18,2011 8:21pm
Glad to see that statement wasn't real haha. Watching The Thing now. Hey Sweden!



toggletoggle post by douchebag_patrol at Apr 18,2011 11:18pm edited Apr 18,2011 11:22pm
aaron_michael said[orig][quote]

-the wicker man = didn't see it, but the only good thing to come out of this movie is Nic Cage's youtube viral video of him losing his shit for 4 minutes straight.






bennyhillifier




toggletoggle post by Blessed_Offal at Apr 19,2011 12:43am
Aaron_michael said[orig][quote]
Glad to see that statement wasn't real haha. Watching The Thing now. Hey Sweden!

ha yea the remake of The Wicker Man was why I drunkenly started this thread in the first place.



toggletoggle post by douchebag_patrol at Apr 19,2011 1:12am



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