what is it?

That I was bad in the sack. Hahahahahahahahah

hahahahaha

hmm.............. this is a toughy. what good lies have i told?



fuck my mind went completely blank

what about your best lie succubus?

i'm thinknig guys...i'm thinking

i thought of the question...now i need to figure out my answer...

i can't think of the best lie i've been said, but the best lie i've been told is: "no i swear i'm not doing anything with devon"

What a fucking cunt liar bitch!

I did not have sexual relationships with that women.

But seriously, I guess the word "no" has gotten me out of a LOT of jams.

"I love you"

hahahahahahaa to the last one
and v1olenc3, that sounds like the shittiest lie...

v1olenc3 said:

she's always been a total attention whore. I hated that slut the first time she screwed around with another dude, but I tried to deal with her if I had too for you. Something about my friends she can't resist.
maybe she didn't bang howard from blood has been shed, but it's probably because his wang is too huge and she realized he'd split her vagina in half, so she gave him a BJ with her big mouth instead.

her

wrong Tom, everyone knows that oral sex isn't cheating!
isn't that what the ex-president said?

i like you band

you guys are awsome

ya the BETTER president

My parents still think I go to church even though I haven't lived under their roof in something like 10 years.

i think my teachers told me ALOT of lies growing up in those days. everyone should read the book "lies my teacher told me"

succubus said:


no he said he did not have sex with her, and then there was a debate on whether or not oral sex is adultery.

i think one of my biggest lies was a few weeks ago when both my parents went up to my room sat down and began asking me questions like "Do you believe in Jesus?" and "Do you worship Satan" it was the most retarded thing they've ever done, but i didn't wanted to tell them that i think the whole christian belief system is insane, so i just gave them the anwsers they wanted to hear

"Dont worry babe, I swear I dont have AIDS."

ew swamplord.

i've been thinking about this, and i can't
come up with anything that good. i'll have
sit on it some more. i'm sure i'll come
up with something later.

hmmmm. I was about to perform orally on this girl i was friends with. When i got my first taste, it was the most rotten, horrible taste you could imagine. I felt sick and ran out of the room, dry heaving. After going to the bathroom an gurggling some mouth wash, i returned, somewhat embarassed to her room. When she asked what happened, I felt dumb founded, and the only lie that popped in my head was 'i had to take a quick shit, but i have to go now.' That lie, and those words, will forever make me happy.

AWESOME jelly just awesome

HAHAHA i never get sick tired of that one.

wow... that was um... not a great lie? for anyone to have believed that... they would have to be the most mentally inept person in the world.

OK

the best lie i ever told was that i didn't have aids!

LOLOLOLZOLZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !1 ROFFELMAYO!!!!!1111111 WOWOWOW!!!!111111111 u ShEr Shwo3ed Th24 T GEYE!!!1111 LOLOL FORMALSLALU!!!!!11111

I told my mom when she asked that I've never looked at porn. It was cool for awhile, but then when she discovered that I look at it quite frequently, she took away all my metal CDs...







FUCK

I wonder when I'll get them back...

the lesson here? don't lie about porn?

No, I guess... uh... don't look at porn. At least, that's the way I'll have to live if I ever want my CDs back. I guess that'll be a good thing, though.

JellyFish said:

Hahahahaha! That's hilarious!

i won't in your face


it was the dog i swear

TheGreatSpaldino said:

Well, she wasnt exactly the smartest chick I ever met, and to be honest Im not sure if she believed me.

someone's trying to tel me something cause i got this spam today:

AMERICAN

WOMEN

THE

ABSOLUTE

LIE

Written by

MAJ



A book you'll never

put down.

THIS WAS SENT TO ME AND I FIGURED YOU COULD USE A WAKE UP CALL.

"it's not you, it's me."

"hey that's in my ass"
"no it's not"

ummm i had nothing to do with the spam
and it's a good thing yer gf is not american then

"we'll always be friends, right?"

"wow, youre tight"

ok these one liner jokes are getting dry
and it's turning into a joke thread
you're supposed to say the BEST lie you've told...

"oh wow...it's the biggest c*ck i've ever seen"

see how lame these are?

i'm talking about real lie..and a GOOD one

"This thread is good"

Cant think of any cause I almost never lie, and thats the truth....
i'll think of some eventualy.

hahahahahaha
yeah yeah it sucks but it's because it turned into one liner jokes

"I thought it was oregeno"

"I really said that last one once"

that was the best ive ever had

"Was it good for you too?"
"I've had better."

"Ah, I'm such a shit!!"

"And then, tonight, we'll rub some oil on it, and wrap a big rubber band around it!! It'll be great!! Great gift Dad!!"
"Thanks son!"


Ah man that is such an awesome movie.

JellyFish said:

and her pussy stinks

succubus said:


BAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HEY! Shut up! I can't help it!!! >:(

"i swear to god she means nothing to me!!!"