One time I went to sleep, and my REMs decided to film a movie for my slumberous entertainment. It went like this:

My Dad, for whatever strange fucking reason, is having dinner at my ex-girlfriend's house (what the fuck?). He is forcing me to go with him, so I reluctantly go inside, which is embarrassing and awkward beyond anything comprehensible, and try to sit down - but every chair I attempt to sit on falls over to the right. Everyone is making conversation about how shitty I am, and then I SPONTANEOUSLY TELEPORT TO A ROOM IVE NEVER BEEN IN BEFORE AND START SHOOTING NATIVE AMERICANS WITH MUSKETS. Somehow I find out I'm in a North Korean hospital and there are rebels trying to steal the sound mixers attached to patients because doctors are purposely misdiagnosing them (brick shitting?). So I help them because I see that someone was diagnosed with "sociology" and I think about how fucked up it would be to be considered ill for being interested in that - but again I SPONTANEOUSLY TELEPORT TO A ROOM IVE NEVER BEEN IN BEFORE AND START SHOOTING NATIVE AMERICANS WITH MUSKETS. And then I run out of gunpowder but there are more Native Americans sitting around in the room. I am on a frantic search for gunpowder to shoot the rest of the Natives with, so someone tells me to go buy some at Hannafords or CVS.

And then I wake up, congratulating my brain on a job well done.

Lets hear yours.

i can only remember my dreams for like 15 seconds after i wake up. then i spend the rest of the day being confused

Here's one...I got a bunch that I wrote down as soon as I woke up so I wouldn't forget em. One of em has to do with ArmageddAnne telling a joke about lemons and prostitutes, I think. I can't read my own handwriting from when I first wake up. But yeah:

I was in a warehouse/store sort of a thing, and was telling everyone how this would all be my stuff one day. Then I was in an old friend's house, and arguing with two other friends over why they shouldn't rob a bank, because I had been jobless for however long and I hadn't stooped that low yet.

until my old friend's dad let go with sleepy-spray from upstairs, putting my two friends to sleep. I fought it, went to the fridge expecting Sam Adams, there was nothing but Bud light, so I stormed off up the stairs.

On the stairs I found a transparent business card that was supposed to be a clue to who took my beer. Then I went to leave but went into the next room instead, where there was a SHAVING PARTY going on, including this one huge girl I know getting HER BEARD shaved. One girl asked me to scratch her ass with a backscratcher, but there was a big open wound on her ass so I didn't. Then I left.

When I left some woman ran screaming by outside, followed by a dude with an axe. The dude came into my doorway, traded his axe for a broom handle where I was standing, and continued chasing her. I decided to follow him and squeezed into someones backseat, and while we were driving we could hear "Taking Care of Business" getting louder and louder, until we passed an alleyway, where ZZ TOP were for some reason playing "TCB".

The end.

Me too. I think we must smoke too much weed.

thats impossible... you can never smoke too much weed

"SPONTANEOUSLY TELEPORT TO A ROOM IVE NEVER BEEN IN BEFORE AND START SHOOTING NATIVE AMERICANS WITH MUSKETS. "

HAHA!! Even in our dreams we have to be politically correct.

i have some pretty intense night terrors. most recently i had one about world war fighter planes bombing down commercial airlines into the ocean.. the atmosphere was shifting from the force of the plane crash and in return dust particles were rushing ot the earth from space. we were breathing them in and they started stealing our thoughts and suffocating us by absorbing our oxygen.. the dust particles wound up being some alien life form from another planet. i woke up to the sound of intense crashing thunder. this was a couple nights ago. last ngiht i dreamt my friend travis had a dick made of snow and it melted. haha

recently read the Andromeda Strain?

nope.. ill have to look into that i guess.. or maybe not bc it could make my dreams worse. i have an intense imagination... and a longterm case of insomnia.. which obveously effects my sleeping pattern.

i had a dream a few weeks back where i got in a fist fight with jamie josta, which makes sense cause i kinda hate hatebreed

The first one sounds like it's from House 2 or some shit, they made weird cheesy horrors.

I'm expecting news today about terrorist attacks hahaha... because of my dream.

It felt like it lasted for hours. I was with my little sister watching the news when they start talking about lynn mass, my hometown, and they were talking like something horrible happened, and I remember watching for like ten minutes and they didn't say what happened and I was getting pissed. all of a sudden bush is about to talk about it when my little sister changes the channel to watch some kids show, i get pissed and go outside.

down the street i go into a pizza shop and i don't ask for anything, the dude knows me, so he gives me two pieces of pepperoni and then takes my money and throws on three more pieces for free, because he's cooking a new one anyways. see the news again in the pizza parlor. all they are doing is showing this shiny curvy glass building and talking about subway in lynn.

About then I woke up pissed that I never found out what happened, and wanting pizza from that place real bad. I'm assuming it's like futurama with those dream ads.