1mg Clonazepam (klonapin) for anxiety.

I took 1, about 2 hours ago, and it just makes me wanna nap. Im still tense, and my mind is still all over the place, so bascially it didnt take away any of my symptoms, it just made me wanna go to bed. gay.

Speaking of prescriptions... I just got a new eyeglasses prescription then bought a new pair of frames, and a new pair of sunglasses. Now that I have them I'm finding out that the original eyedoctor fucked up and my left eye is blurry as shit. My old 7 year old set of glasses are clearer. I sure hope he's going to give me 300 fucking dollars to get all this new shit fixed. Pisses me off.

yeah, 1mg klonapin don't do jack. you have to take a handful or about 5 at a time and drink a 12 pack. atleast they make you sleep?

MSD: tell me you got RAYBANS

working 16 hour shifts help me sleep, thats not what i was looking for, i needed something that makes me wanna kill less people.

that's an easy diagnosis
kill yourself?

the diagnosis would not be to kill myself, that would be the treatment.

thank you doctor.

plus, how would people like you survive off of people like me, if we were all gone and you couldnt mooch?

Pills!

I was hoping you were going to say more cowbell.

PILLS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljtuGoIIKGs

KeithMutiny said:

i don't mooch i know people who will pay good money for that shit

KeithMutiny said:

Honestly? Weed.

Most of the shit you'll get proscribed is going to be anti-depressants, or other chemical shit that has to alter your balance in order to control your mood. Anti-Depressants are notorious of curing the single symptom, while at the same time tearing away whole chunks of your very personality and disposition.

Weed will just make you eat potato chips, and you'll forget there were even people to kill in the first place.

YOUR SOCIETY IS FAILING YOU, WHITE PEOPLE

Hey, didn't my great great great great grandfather own YOUR great great great great granfather?

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

life would be so much easier if i just smoked weed, but i do not.

xanax is great but have fun trying to get your doc to prescribe it

Mess said:

i can get it.

NIGGER said:

That comment reminds me so much of the Boondocks..... Greatest show ever... also Nigger is right, our society is failing us, us stupid white people.....

These pills however do help a little when I can't sleep... Also are good with a 12 pack.....

Kill Whitey>>>>>>

try it if you haven't already

1mg marzipan?

1mg kaleidoscope?

1mg calliope?

1g snow

the_reverend said:

Fucking WIN.

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

well, if this was about a month or two ago id probably agree with you, and YES this will work at the beginning. but lately ive started to change my thinking on the whole subject of weed.

when i started smoking herb (4 years ago) quite regularly, i thought it was the cure to all of my anxiety problems. it allowed me to relax and open up to people that i wouldnt usually talk to. allowed me to be social at parties, meet different people...pretty much it was awesome. i wasnt shy anymore when i was high, and i always had a good time. but the more and more you smoke (every day for 4 years straight) the effects tend to reverse themselves. your personality when your not high becomes more like who you are when you used to be stoned, but your not stoned so all you want to do is get high. then when you get high, you actually become very paranoid, socially awkward, full of anxiety, but the problem is your so used to smoking everyday that you really cant sleep without it. at least thats my case. im at a point where smoking is something i need to do to sleep, but when i smoke, if im not chillin by myself watching a movie, it tends to actually give me anxiety rather than take it away. ALSO, ive been thinking that this might have to do with the actual weed ive been smoking. when i started it was all high grade shit and now i smoke cheap ass shit. but i really cant find any good shit so its hard for me to judge if its the quality of the weed. all i know is i have a 10 dollar a day habit, its my only habit, and i dont mind it. but i wouldnt recommend anyone doing it to get rid of anxiety, cus thats what i did and it didnt really work, or at least doesnt anymore.

Mess said:

im planning on it, you seem to be in question of wether i can self diagnose myself or not? I work in the medical field and see my doctor on a somewhat regualr basis, all I do is explain the situation and bing, im good to go. I assumed the clonazepam would work, but it did not, now onto the next.

As i said, life woulf be so much easier if i just smoked weed.

i personally don't find many drawbacks to excessive pot smoking. there are some, like not being able to sleep when not high. but the biggest problem i found is simply the lack of motivation. i feel like i'm watching life fly by and it sucks. i don't find any anxiety, even after daily consumption for like 8 years. for me though it just lost a lot of its flare. it became a daily necessity rather than a spontaneous recreational thing.

and like someone stated in another thread, everything becomes about "being high". conversations start with "one time we were high", when your not high all the talk is about getting high, and when you are high, its "i'm so high". it got so monotonous. though i do still love it, it just lost its appeal.

i should really try to quit for like a week. i bet that first smoke after a week of not smoking would be the most fun ever. haha.

i did that at the beginning of this year, stopped for a few weeks, and the first time back i thought "wow, so this is what it was like to be truly high".

yea man i just ran out of my bag this morning. i should try to do this. although, i can probably get a 1/2 for 50 bucks tonight and were playing with follow the flies on friday and acariya and the internet on saturday....thats not gonna work. haha.

KeithMutiny said:

Ignore these guys with their stories of being pot heads. If you wanted to be a pot head, you'd already be one. I am.

I'm not talking about ripping bong hits nightly with your hippy friends. Buy a gram of some really nice nuggs. It'll cost you $20 and last you weeks, since it's not for recreation. One hit of some high grade shit at the end of a long work day will go a LONG way towards helping you with anxiety. These guys don't seem to know the difference between paranoia and anxiety. Paranoia is "oh man, I wonder if that cop can tell I'm stoned". Not "Hey, look at that homeless junkie welfare piece of shit, I want to stomp his fucking head on the sidewalk."

The main idea of smoking week is one of distraction. Pot has a way of removing distraction and allowing you to dwell on one task at hand. A couple puffs and a guitar nearby is one of the best forms of therapy/escapism ever. Read the lyrics on the Pillory CD, I've definitely got my share of anxiety, misanthropy, and hatred of the human condition. Without pot and a creative outlet, I'd have left a trail of dead at this point. I've tried the medical route as you have, and I found that the pills robbed me of a huge part of my own self. My personality started to dissapear, and I was left with a general sense of apathy and a lack of motivation.

cav said:

If you're buying halfs for $50, there's a reason you're not getting high and ending up all paranoid. You're smoking shit, man.

I've never paid less than $100 for a half, and usually that would be pretty shitty stuff. Good stuff would be more like $150-200.

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

yea, the thing is around here i have 2-3 main connects. 2 of them are $50 a 1/4 type of guys who get semi-decent mid grade stuff, but it always changes. sometimes its good, and sometimes it sucks. then i found a guy who gets 1/2s for $50 bucks. and at least the last batch i got the cheaper stuff was better. you have a lot of guys around here using the term mid grades very loosely. i remember when mid grades had to be nice and green and look pretty much like high grade shit but with a couple seeds and sometimes brick packed, but usually not. now, i go to get "middies" from someone and they give me the same shit that i get for pretty much nothing. so i just buy the wicked cheap stuff.

the whole problem is i dont know a whole lot of people into weed and dont want to get ripped on high grade shit. cus i know there are plenty of wannabe gangsta kids sellin grams for 20 but they are usually .8 and last me no longer than a day cus the weed doesnt have that much more thc than the mid grade shit. cus i mean, ive smoked highs that dont get me as stoned as some mids.

but either way, if anyone knows any RI dudes that get nice buds, lemme know. cus im down for turning into one of those stingy pot heads who always has high grade shit and never shares. instead of rolling endless joints all night and barely getting high. haha.

when i used to smoke alot, buying mids made way more sense to me, i'd rather be kinda high all night than reallllly high for like a half hour and then burnt out the rest of the night

i go back to a behavior therapist tomorrow in the morning, we'll see where we can go from there.

its so bad that its hard to move my back and neck from the knots and pain shooting up them, shit sucks, not to mention i actually find it hard to do some shit because of the trembling in my hands. i feel like a time bomb.

KeithMutiny said:

It's fucking amazing how much power your mind has over your physical body. I'm in the same boat, I've been experiencing some extreme back pain, but after CT scans, kidney exam, x-ray, etc... the doctor still has no clue what is wrong with my damned back. Like you, I'm starting to think that it's all a result of the immense tension I have.

well mine all stared with a horrib panic attack friday afternoon, i was going about my buisness, kinda pissed off, but thats normal, then as i was driving through plainville i got a wicked amount of abdominal pressure, like someone was pushing as hard as they could on it. the my whole body went pins and needles and the blood started pulling away from my extemities, and hands curled up like they were dead and my arms and legs were paralised. i stalled my jeep cause i couldnt move my feet and managed to roll to the side of the road. my lips were pursed and turning blue as well as my nail beds turning blue. my jaw locked and my speach was so slurred no one could even understand me, I thought for sure i was haveing a stroke, i felt liek i was about to go into a seizure but i remained concious the entire time, eventually it went away, but it was one of the most terrifying things ive ever experienced, and ever since then, my mind and body have not been back to normal.

who knows, but its frightning.

hmmm, what are your eating habits like? and/or were you on any prescription drugs when it happened? thats definitely not normal, you may have had a minor stroke.

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

you're exactly right, i myself have strayed from the original path. i did the exact same thing, just to relax, but it overtook things. thats why i want to significantly cut back and bring back the desire to smoke, as opposed to it being a routine. these past few days i've just puffed a few times and kicked back with a cd, and its done wonders for the aggression.

yeti, how much do you usually smoke during the day? of what quality weed?

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

i must agree with your statment about the guitar. get so lost in it, three hours go by before you know it and your brain gets so focused on the sound you completely forget why you were stressed out to begin with.

KeithMutiny said:


Holy shit, that sounds scary as fuck.

What did the doctors say about it? It sounds like everything in your body locked up, so it might be more muscular than neurological. Have you tried muscle relaxers yet?

What do you do for work? Is there a lot of repetitive motion involved? I've never had anything as extreme as what happened to you friday, but after a 12 hour shift at work doing the same motion over and over I've had my whole back and arms seize up and lock on me. Literally spent hours just sitting in place and twitching/spasming.

cav said:

well its usually 3 or 4 bowls a night before i go to bed, and i try to keep it at the regular kind bud level. this dude i know frequently has that ridiculous High Times shit, and while that is fun, it gets to be a bit too much. that really bogs my brain down. i haven't had that recently though, its just been your standard bud. on weekends its always way more, like from the time i get up to the time i go to bed. far too much.

Also, if your lips turned blue wouldn't that indicate that your heart rate plummeted? That's some scary shit, definitely see a specialist. I've seen shit like that a lot with allergic reactions. I've had anxiety attacks (mild ones) and know some people who have had severe ones, but never seen someone's lips turn blue. The other stuff you mentioned could be anxiety, though, but it's pretty hard-core compared to what most experience.

My girl gets those on (thankfully rare) occasions. I still don't really understand it, but I can tell you that they're no joke. I'd have her on the weed in a heartbeat, but it freaks her out even worse - paranoia squared.

i had that muscle shit happen to me when i worked for Saint-Gobain in Worcester, i was working 4:30 AM to 2 in a dungeon, moving 50 - 350 pound grinding wheels all fucking day. my back and shoulders would just tighten up and scream.

When I'm alone, I pack a single bowl of nuggs (I only buy really, really good shit - seeds are your enemy!) and it will literally last me all day until my GF gets home. I find weed is a lot like booze - it takes a few minutes or more to kick in. Therefore when you rip through a whole bowl at once, that first hit has barely even started to take effect. I find that one hit every hour or so does the trick nicely. Also prevents my brain from getting "bogged down" as Yeti says.

i'm going to give that a shot. you should start publishing a newsletter haha.

I also withdraw my advice to Keith to smoke weed.

Weed very likely might help you a LOT, but this shit that happened to you sounds pretty serious, and unfortunately your doctors just wouldn't be able to monitor and appraise your condition if you were self-treating it with illegal drugs. Let them figure out what's wrong, and how to stabilize it. Then, after everything levels out, maybe try seeing if weed helps as well as the pharmaceuticals.

Yeti said:

Didn't we get stoned together outside of that show we played together with Hell Within, Farewell Radiance, Burn in Silence, etc... up in boston? I remember you'd gotten kicked out or something, and I think we blazed a joint in the parking lot.

Also:

When I'm at home a bowl will last me many hours. However, home is my "safety zone". I'm comfortable, isolated, and usually somewhat peaceful.

If I'm out and about, it's all about getting as high as fucking possible. Most of you who have seen me at shows, etc.. probably noticed that I'm stoned senseless. If my brain is too busy being too high to think straight, I spend a lot less time dwelling on how I'm currently surrounded by useless pieces of shit. I cannot even handle a trip to the mall without toking up first. Not that I couldn't do it sober, but if I did by the time I make it home my whole shoulder hurts because I was clenching my fist too hard the whole time I was at the mall.

i don't think that was me, i don't think Sacreligion ever played with Hell Within. i'm bald and 6'5 so that might help answer it. you play/played in Pillory right? we played together at Club Octane in Worcester once when Despised Icon was supposed to play, but other than that i don't know of any other times.

^ thus why I come across as a dumbass in person so often, yet come home and sound so "smart" on a messageboard.

hahahaa fair enough

Yeti said:

There was one other I'm talking about, in boston. I might be mixing up two bills, but Farewell Radiance was definitely on the bill this time around. You got kicked out for drinking in the bathroom or some shyte, and I found you out in the lot when I went outside to smoke.

I remember all our gigs with sacreligion, because you guys were some of my favorite PEOPLE to play shows with. With the exception of the old singer, who I think wanted to fellate me. We played together with the Sac in NH, with wretched asylum (fun times in the lot that night!), once out in worcester at that DI gig you mentioned, and once in boston at that fucking place that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of. I think it's actually allston. There's a liquor store out front, and

oh shit - Harper's Ferry. That's it. I remembered, just didn't feel like deleting all that shit I just typed.

Im an EMT in Worcester, thats what i do for a living, so im pretty well versed in the orperations of the human body, and its easy to diagnose someone, thats not me, haha. im heading in tomorrow and they took some blood to check my thyroid yesterday.

and cav for the record, thats refered to as a TIA, transichemic attack, its a stroke that corrects itself, kind of like a warning that a worse one is comming. that was my initial concern as well.

KeithMutiny said:

That's because you don't give as much of a shit about someone else, so you won't spend as much time trying to cover every single possible situation. You'll just go after the most likely.

Same reason why doctors won't treat their own family.

yea, i got an appointment at 9am, the klonapin i have for now was just thrown at me by my regualr physician, he doesnt really know dick about the situation, i just expected to feel a little better after taking them, not so much.

ill find out the real deal tomorrow.

omg keith! that sucks...i jsut read what happened to you. get a good doctor and have them test a bunch of stuff!! =(

good luck tomorrow.

thanks, we'll see

All this talk about weed makes me sad because I am all out :(

Yeti said:

i went to this show, i was so mad about it, originally advertised as 5 bucks, then 10 the day before, then got to the door and it was 15...and it was that little prick dude at the door that no one likes. im pretty sure that was the last show he booked, at least that i heard of. he didnt say anything about DI not showing up, probably never booked them, and no one knew til burn in silence was done playing. good thing the rest of the bands were good, but sorry guys no local band is worth 15 bucks in a place that can barely fit a live metal band. but i think this is the only time i saw pillory so guess it was worth it.

ArrowHead likes Pie said:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh man.

update:

feeling a little better on the new prescription of xanax and some anti depressants, we'll see where this goes.

i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder with depression, so basically stay the fuck away from me or ill kill you.

if anyone is on citalopram, let me know how it works, cause thats what theyre pumping into me now along with the xanax

So anxiety and depression caused that? Weird..
I get panic attacks bcz of health issues that run in my family...I'm in a waiting room now...blah..

KeithMutiny said:

my mother takes this, she is recovering from breast cancer. she seems alot more loopy than usual but i dunno if it's from that.

ariavette said:

Keith, you're gonna lose your tits!

dammit, if i lose my boobs ill be pissed.

im supposed to take 3 xanax a day if needed, im up to 3 in the last 2 hours

Don't go outside the proscribed dose. Anti-depressants are meant to cumulate in your system, much like niccotine or antibiotics. They won't do much at first, until they are in your system long enough to actually effect your regular chemical cycles in your brain.

Also, don't go without them either. Missing a day or two will fuck up the whole thing, and make it so they don't do anything again just like when you first started.

Finally, find a good friend, family member, or girlfriend (boyfriend?) who can keep a close eye on you. Tell them to watch for any drastic changes to your personality, attitude, etc... You might not notice the difference yourself, but the people closest to you will be able to tell. As I said before, this is the main reason I refuse to do the anti-depressant route. They work, and do what they are supposed to, but I found that my personality, creativity and inspiration, and my attitude all suffered because of it.

P.S. - good luck. Hope you feel better, just beware because Xanax is the devil.

well the xanax is for now till the citalopram is fully in my blood stream, i guess it takes 2-3 weeks to kick in. bascially they gave me the xanax as needed to i can chill out, kinda one of them, take it if you need it or dont if you dont deal. im not worried about the xanax, im more concerned about the antidepressant they gave me, i dont know anyone on it.

so far i call the xanax my, "i dont give a fuck" pill, cause thats how it makes me feel, but in a good way. I only have the 0.5mg ones, so its easy to keep track of.

ps, by the devil, how do you mean so? just for my knowledge. i have limited expierience with xanax. rather have a 15mg fast acting oxycodone, that sure as hell calms me down, haha.

xanax fucks with the balances inside your head. After a little while it starts making everything a lot more even, all the time. You lose the lows, but you lose the highs too. You end up with a whole lot of middle.

Think of it like recording an instrument. Your shit has some really bad peaks that are causing distortion and feedback. You can turn down the input (distractions, or better: get rid of your source of stress) or you can throw a ton of compression on it (Xanax).

The compression works, but it leaves the overall track sounding dull and lifeless.

remember, xanax is an anti-depressant too, not just some sort of painkiller.

point well taken