I have no idea what's going on.

This is long overdue.

Mike, you're the only person here that can write that well, You're at the top of my suspect list.

I propose that it was Colonel Mustard, in the vomitorium, with the dildo.

i can write that well too, dickolai. ;)

Men's Warehouse's dress shirts are the awesome.

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE SURREPTITIOUSLY PLUNGING MY ROSY-CHEEKED CYCLOPEAN ALLY INTO THE ANAL CAVITY OF A YOUNG MIGRANT FARM WORKER OF INDETERMINATE GENDER IN THE FRONT ROW OF A MOVIE THEATER, THE POOR YOUTH SCREAMED FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT, FINALLY COUGHING UP A LOAD OF 100% PURE ZIMMER SAUCE AND PASSING OUT. THE OTHER MOVIE PATRONS, ANGRY AT THE INTERRUPTION OF THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL IN 3-D, BEGAN PELTING ME WITH DRINKS, FOOD, AND PHONE NUMBERS HASTILY WRITTEN ON NAPKINS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUIT WAS RUINED IN THE PROCESS. I NONCHALANTLY PULLED THE UNCONSCIOUS YOUTH OFF MY ENORMOUS EYEBALL GOUGER AND STRIPPED NUDE. THEN, WITH A BESTIAL ROAR, I BEAT THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE TO DEATH--WITHOUT LEAVING THE FRONT ROW. ON MY WAY OUT, IN THE CUSTOM OF THE ZIMMER FAMILY, I GAVE THEM A BURIAL AT SEMEN. I GUARANTEE IT.

Simply fucking brilliant.

is it Zimmer or Zimmerman... fuckin pick one.

HI I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. FUCKISMYSIGNATURE AND I USED TO BE ROOMMATES AT MY ALMA MATTER, EUNUCH UNIVERSITY. WE SPENT MANY A NIGHT WRESTLING EACH OTHER OUT OF OUR RIPPED WRANGLER RAGS. I MELTED MY MIGHTY MANTOOL IN HIS MANGLED MOUTH BEFORE BENDING HIM BACKWARD AND BURSTING BETWEEN HIS BRITCHES. HE ALWAYS REMEMBERED WHO I WAS AFTER THAT, BECAUSE WHEN WE WERE THROUGH I CLAMORED KENNEDY'S CLIT BEFORE CUMMING IN HER CORRUGATED CUNT CLEAVAGE AND CAREFULLY CLOSING HER CAVERNOUS CROTCH. I GUARANTEE IT.

"people don't like when you use all caps. they feel like you are yelling at them and they don't like getting yelled at." - some dude

"but that's how I talk" - colbert

at least he guarantees it.

Attorney James G. Sokolove is principal of the Law Offices of James Sokolove, an affiliation of over 75 law firms throughout the country concentrating in KILL GEORGE ZIMMER. A pioneer in the marketing of GEORGE ZIMMER IS THE DEVIL, Sokolove has lectured at law schools on THE DESCRUCTION OF GEORGE ZIMMER and has appeared on numerous television and radio programs to discuss personal injury OF GEORGE ZIMMER. He has been recognized by the Boston Business Journal as one of “Greater Boston’s 100 Most Influential ASSINATORS OF GEORGE ZIMMER” and by Massachusetts Lawyers the “Most Influential Attorneys Weekly as one of of the Past 25 Years” for his efforts in increasing legal access through THE TOTAL DECIMATION OF GEORGE ZIMMER.

This is the greatest day of my life.

exposed http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/George_Zimmer#Zimmer_on_YTMND

creepy stalker type said:

So, wait - you're saying that't not the real George Zimmer? HOLY SHIT!

HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. MY FRIENDS, I HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE FOR NOW, AS I'M FLYING FAST TO THE PHILLIPINES TO GET A BEVY OF BOUNCING BOYWHORES, BUT I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS: I FONDLY RECALL MY FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH THE OLSEN TWINS. I KNEW THESE TORRID, TINY-TITTED TWINS WOULD PUT THAT SALACIOUS SPARK IN MY SPEAR-LIKE SPERMCANNON AS SOON AS THEY WERE LED, BOUND AND GAGGED, INTO MY OFFICE. I BEGAN WITH A TANGIBLE TITTY-TWISTER FOR EACH, FOLLOWED BY A QUICK SLATHER OF HEAVAENLY HOT BACON GREASE ON EACH OF THEIR TINY TWIN TUCHUSES. FOR NINE ORGIASTIC HOURS, I EDUCATED THESE HEAVENLY HARLOTS IN THE ART OF TONGUE-TEASING MY RAMPANT RAPEROD, BEFORE BOMBASTICALLY BATTERING EACH AND EVERY AVAILABLE ORIFICE IN THEIR FUCKABLE FRAMES. MY ZIMMER-ZEPPELIN WAS AT ITS FULL 36 INCHES OF MASTODON-LIKE MAN-MASS BEFORE I SHOT OFF WITH A SEARING SEMEN SHOWER THAT IMPREGNATED BOTH OVULATING OLSENS INSTANTLY. MY NOW SUBSERVIANT SEX-SLAVES BEGGED TO LIVE FOREVER AS MY FABULOUSLY FRANTIC FULL HOUSE FUCKHOLES, BUT I HAD THE SERVANTS PUT THEM OUT IN THE ALLEY. THE YEAR WAS 1998. I GUARANTEE IT.

Gee, who else will come here and give us all the business?
For all I know, I could be someone rich and powerful and bought out my damn company.

At HERB CHAMBERS dealerships, We aim for the best leasing programs on both foreign AND domestic slave labor. Wanna trade in your beat up, jizz stained korean model fucktoy? I know I would. Try out our new for '07 models from Germany. Bring 'em chained up and LETS TRADE KEYS! Our newly purchased dealerships in the Metrowest have the finest in German AND British loadcatchers, footstools, ashtrays AND entertainment centers. I've always been entertained since the first negro I had walk on broken glass while I cranked out a batch from the zipper of my pinstriped pantsuit. Find us on the web or just look over the horizon for the eerie glow of my man-tan.

And now, a prayer to the good lord.....
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!!

WE'VE GOT IT!

Hi there, I'm Cthulhu lord of the cthonic regions. I was once the biggest schlonged beast in the star pierced galaxy until my cities were sunk beneath the rising tides. I used to get all the space pussy I wanted, hell I used to fuck planets, in fact I impregnated Earth. If it wasn't for me none of the life on earth would exist. Primordial ooze, yeah that's my man-tonic, potent, ain't it? My monstrous many-tentacled wang was so big that through out all time and history I've had cults of half-castes and mongrels worshiping me from places far spread as the mountains of the Inuits to the most primal of voodoo swamps. But i'm stuck in R'lyeh for now, beating off my mammothine willy until some massive earthquake reels my cyclopean city off from the sea bed. Until then I will haunt you with my phallus-lingam-maximuum in your dreams!

DestroyYouAlot said:

when did i say that? i didn't say that!! who the fuck are you anyway!?!?!

But is he the real fake George Zimmer? THE TRUE QUESTION.

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, seriously.

COME BUY A NEW SOFA OR DINETTE SET TODAY, YOU'LL GET SAME DAY DELIVERY AND A FREE BLACKLIGHTING TO MAKE SURE NONE OF OUR DELIVERY WORKERS HAD THEIR WAY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER ON YOUR BRAND NEW FURNITURE

I remember when the fat one was fat. I remember seeing the billboard and imagining if I plunged a butcher knife into his face that his muscle tissue would be made of cake, and his bones would be hollow chocolate... like a chocolate easter bunny.

RichHorror said:

you would eat him afterwards.