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returntothepit >> discuss >> Africa bacteria eats out your eyes. by the_reverend on May 21,2007 9:02am
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toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 21,2007 9:02am



toggletoggle post by SteveOTB   at May 21,2007 10:20am
Once she's recovered, Plouffe said, she'll go back to Africa to finish her adventure.

What's wrong with her?




toggletoggle post by Yeti at May 21,2007 10:23am
oh man, anything involving eyes is awful.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at May 21,2007 10:39am
and another thing, why would anyone go to Africa anymore? you'll either be slaughtered by a rampaging tribe, eaten by various animals, have your eyes devoured by bacteria, or catch Ebola and leak your insides out through your bodily orifices. i'm there.



toggletoggle post by SkinSandwich at May 21,2007 11:36am
GOOD FUCKIN' TIMES!!!






toggletoggle post by SkinSandwich at May 21,2007 11:37am
I am the artist once known as Captain Cleanoff.



toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 11:40am
Yeti said:
and another thing, why would anyone go to Africa anymore? you'll either be slaughtered by a rampaging tribe, eaten by various animals, have your eyes devoured by bacteria, or catch Ebola and leak your insides out through your bodily orifices. i'm there.


I'm planning to join the Peace Corps after college and will probably go somewhere horrible like Africa. I will be bummered if my eyes are chewed out but the experience will be worth the risk.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 21,2007 12:49pm
um... what will zoe do, hippie?



toggletoggle post by Yeti at May 21,2007 12:51pm
"where we're going you dont need eyes to see"



toggletoggle post by DeRtOxIa   at May 21,2007 1:05pm
well africa does have one thing going for it. it doesn't have the south american candiru catfish.



you don't want to fuck with that little guy.



toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 1:18pm
the_reverend said:
um... what will zoe do, hippie?


Not going to be fully out of school until she at least 16. (If I go beyond a Master's Degree, she'll be older.) If not, I will most likely wait until she's 18. Cock.



toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 1:20pm
DeRtOxIa said:
well africa does have one thing going for it. it doesn't have the south american candiru catfish.

you don't want to fuck with that little guy.


Is that the thing that is attracted to urine and swims into a guy's cack? Those things are awesome.




toggletoggle post by SkinSandwich at May 21,2007 1:22pm
DeRtOxIa said:
well africa does have one thing going for it. it doesn't have the south american candiru catfish.



you don't want to fuck with that little guy.


Isn't that the spieces that swims up yer dick piss stream and lay eggs in your junk?




toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 1:28pm
Great minds think alike.



toggletoggle post by sacreligion at May 21,2007 1:36pm
SkinSandwich said:
GOOD FUCKIN' TIMES!!!





that might just be the greatest thing i've ever seen



toggletoggle post by SkinSandwich at May 21,2007 1:37pm
pam said:
Great minds think alike.


Ha, damn right Pam!




toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 21,2007 2:01pm
When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 21,2007 2:03pm



toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 2:05pm
YES! Those things are awesome. I hope you all get fish in your dicks.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at May 21,2007 2:06pm
and I hope you get one in your rectum/vagina. wait, a fish in the vagina... there's a joke in there somewhere.



toggletoggle post by pam   at May 21,2007 2:12pm
My vagina would chew it up and spit it out because it's THAT awesome.



toggletoggle post by the_taste_of_cigarettes  at May 21,2007 2:24pm
Fish in the vagina is a joke unto itself



toggletoggle post by FuckIsMySignature at May 21,2007 2:29pm
the_reverend said:
When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.



my dick hurts from reading that.




toggletoggle post by horror_tang  at May 21,2007 3:06pm
pam said:
I hope you all get fish in your dicks.


I hope you get a fish in your dick as well.



toggletoggle post by Yeti at May 21,2007 3:11pm
the_reverend said:
When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans.


that is probably the worst thing i have ever read.



toggletoggle post by HailAtWork at May 21,2007 3:20pm
Yeti said:
and another thing, why would anyone go to Africa anymore? you'll either be slaughtered by a rampaging tribe, eaten by various animals, have your eyes devoured by bacteria, or catch Ebola and leak your insides out through your bodily orifices. i'm there.


Good question, for some reason my aunt is going for 2 weeks, not my idea of a vacation, but whatever...



toggletoggle post by DeRtOxIa   at May 21,2007 10:09pm
well you can all book your trips to Africa because there are no dick fish there



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