"If you think Hellhammer is the drummer of Mayhem, you're gay"

but he is

he is

This post was either the worst mistake ever, or completely intentional and therefore commendable.

yeah, I can't figure out who's joking here

Can I make believe he's not the drummer for the Kovenant. Cause they're gay.

hhahaha what is up with this mass array of new posters and making violent threads where they just get shot down

i think hes trying to say if when you hear the word hellhammer you automatically think the drummer and not the band, you are in fact gay.

blue nli said:

But Hellhammer the drummer has played on some of the greatest black Metal albums ever. So that whole statement is gay.

I don't think he's a new poster. I believe this is an appreciation thread for Hellhammer.

pam said:

Then this thread should say "Hellhammer appreciation thread" instead of stealing a joke from that stupid 100 ways you know your not metal list that went around the internet a few years ago.

kevord said:

hahaha. Well, I didn't say he was a clever poster.

It's funny that people are trying to figure out why I posted this.
The quote is in fact a line from an Anal Cunt song entitled "If you don't like the Village People, You're Gay". I posted it out of boredom and because I love the old Hellhammer demos - they are better than any band that the drummer Hellhammer ever played in....That includes Mayhem.

but.......all black metal is gay....which makes the statement he said.....gay

*ends argument*

not all black metal is gay

*argument goes on*

ok, not all of it is gay...
i'd say 99.99999999999% of it iss gay
i liked anaal Nathrakh like 2 years ago, so i cant say all of it is gay

Ryan_M said:

No wonder I thought it was stupid.

NGBM

the fact is, if you listen to black metal, your gay.

Ryan_M said:

I don't know, I do like Arcturus and Shining as much as Hellhammer, in their own ways...

KeithMutiny said:

If you listen to anything these days, you're gay according to someone. Who cares.

nope, juts pretty much black metal, i mean there is a lot of gay music, but when it comes to black metal, its a literal thing.

There is plenty of good black metal, I don't know what the hell you'RE talkin' about.

That's right blue, NGBM!

man, i need one of those shirts

if someone printed those shirts, i would buy one.

thank god i like harsh ebm. And whats so gay about black metal. I mean u got bands like 1349, gorgoroth,tsjuder,leviathan,dark funeral and such. Why u ppl so judgemental over black metal

its a Devourment shirt, Keith you can definitly find it somewhere

I'm not. 1349 is sick. However I maintain that panda make up is gayer than gay. You don't look scary, you look fucking stupid.

I would wear one of those shirts if it didn't say Devourment anywhere on them.

RichHorror said:

kevord said:

hahaha hes Abraham Von Blomberg or something stupid like that. so at least he's not using the pseudonym Hellhammer.

sphincter said:


you're gay for liking dark funeral kill yourself! how the hell can you put leviathan and dark funeral in the same sentence?!

hellhammer kicks ass

why do people hate on black metal so much? it's an awesome genre of metal.

KeithMutiny said:


I don't really listen to Black Metal,But I do have friends in BM bands like Hekseri,CNV, So I cannot really say if you listen to BM you are gay. That would be like calling my friends gay cause of the music they like and create.


-- Does that make any sense?,It sounded better before I typed it

Because it's so easy to make fun of. Admit it.

There is worthwhile black metal to be found by the worthwhile with minimal effort. Watain. Seek it.

I think people from the inner city have trouble understanding black metal

If I listen to a black metal record (Burzum for example) alone in the winter driving along the coast line in a blizzard it is a really trance inducing experience

Most bm is rural and isolated

I Agree with CNV..

I can't wait for Autumn.

Fuck the Devourment haters and fuck black metal.

Jimmy Justice said:

Yes, because "Jimmy Justice" is always right.

Nice name.. what city are you fighting crime for?

BM is to serious for me...theres some BM bands that i would probably will get shit on for liking like abbysos...even then the fact that its all "vampires" and shit is kinda gay to me...but there definitly is good BM out there

Abbath said:

The Secrets of the Black Arts is one of my top favorite black metal albums. if you are referring to everything after that, then i can agree.

black metal rules. i dont care what anyone says about it. if your choices in black metal revolve around what you are told is acceptable, then you are gay.

I'm with CNV on that one.

Anthony nli said:

Because they like to instigate trouble under the pretense that their opinions actually matter, or are at least important enough that black metal fans are going to suddenly stop listening to the music they enjoy.

There are good bands in pretty much every metal sub-genre, and they're not going anywhere.

DrinkHardThrashHard said:

agreed

Yeti said:

agreed x2

i would also say that about metal in general....

"if your choices in metal revolve around what you are told is acceptable, then you are gay."

also if you like the same sex you're gay