Pa. Man Kills Girlfriend Over Sandwiches
By Associated Press
3 hours ago

UNIONTOWN, Pa. - A man threw a microwave at his girlfriend, then fatally beat her after she refused to heat up sandwiches, police said.

Walter S. Fordyce, 58, of Uniontown, remained jailed without bond Thursday on a charge of criminal homicide. It wasn't clear if he had an attorney.

Fordyce told police he began arguing with his live-in girlfriend, Mary McCann, 58, early Thursday.

After throwing her to the floor, Fordyce threw a microwave oven onto McCann's chest after she refused to heat up sandwiches for him, he told police. Fordyce also said he stomped on McCann's chest repeatedly then banged her head on the floor until she lost consciousness _ but that he also said he didn't mean to kill her, police said.

"It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose," police quoted Fordyce as saying.

Fordyce ran to a neighbor's house for help, but couldn't find anyone there to call 911, police said. After returning home and checking McCann for a pulse _ and finding none _ he went downstairs and drank a beer before going to another neighbor's home and asking them to call 911, police said.

Autopsy results were not immediately available.

This is turning out to be the greatest day of my entire life.

"It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose," police quoted Fordyce as saying.

thats a great quote, i plan to use that one one day

"All I know, is you don't want to know what happened to the last mother fucker that took my sandwich."

"Meow"

"Thats right Beebo I BIT HIS COCK OFF!"

that should be a new slogan for Budweiser: "After killing your girlfriend, NOTHING tastes as refresing as BUD!"

After returning home and checking McCann for a pulse _ and finding none _ he went downstairs and drank a beer before going to another neighbor's home and asking them to call 911.


HAHA Humanitarian of the year right there

this should be on the inlay for the new IWEIPH cd

Man of the Year.

dwyer just made my day

Tha answer, Dwyer, is no. They never fucking know. Fucking cunts.

What a fag, "I didn't mean to do it" You fucking pussy.

I'm sure his next wife will learn.. or maybe the one after that.

I hope not.

the best part is that after not finding a pulse on the whore, he fucking went and drank a beer before calling the cops. Rich, in all seriousness, if you do not write a song that portrays this man, I will be shocked.

That is the truest man I have ever known.

Rich, this has your name your musical soul and your manjuice all over it.
WRITE THE DAMN SONG!

I'm on it.

There you have it.

Microwave on your head.
I'm so glad you're fucking dead.
Head downstairs for a cold beer.
Cannae is motherfucking queer.

I've got an itch.
For a warm sandwich.
I've got an itch.
For a warm sandwich.

Microwave on your head.
I'm so glad you're fucking dead.
Head downstairs for a cold beer.
Cannae is motherfucking queer.

I've got an itch.
For a warm sandwich.
I've got an itch.
For a warm sandwich.

haha ,Brilliant!

I do what I can.

bitch better have my money.

An' thass for dayumn sho'!

the title of this thread needs to say sammich

EDIT.

the_reverend said:

through rain, sleet and snow
not some, not half, but all my cash
or my foot's going straight up her ass