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returntothepit >> discuss >> Random facts about Dan Robinson by SeedBassist on Nov 9,2005 4:18pm
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toggletoggle post by SeedBassist at Nov 9,2005 4:18pm
Hey everyone, i've been noticing the new obsession with the frequent facts about Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel. I was sitting and talking with Anthony Simone (he plays session drums for coffin birth, and is in a few other projects), and we thought it would be funny to do the same thing about someone in the metal community, so we decided on Dan Robinson from Shroud of Bereavement, as many people know and respect Dan and his music. We compiled this list in about 30-45 minutes last night, and we hope you enjoy. Some of you may think it's funny, some of you may think it's just retarded and so are we. Well, the answer is really both. So here it is: Random facts about Dan Robinson:



Dan Robinson can lay 56 bricks in 1 hour, yet he refuses to play above the tempo of 56 bpm

Dan Robinson ate the cure for cancer

All the members of Amon Amarth combine to make Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson actually writes thrash metal........he just smoked some extremely good weed as a teenager, the effects are still lasting

Aids is just a bunch of tiny Dan Robinson’s that get into your bloodstream and doom your immune system to death

Dan Robinson has an uncanny ability to eat blue cheese, but only if provoked by ferrets

Mark Guy once questioned Dan Robinson's ability as a tr00 d00m metaller, Dan responded by infecting Mark with tapeworm, which is why he's so skinny

Dan Robinson was the original songwriter for "wake me up, before you go go" but the song was originally titled, Knuckle fucker

Little known fact: Dan Robinson is the Santa clause at the local mall during Christmas time.

Dan Robinson is responsible for starting the slave trade, coincidentally; he is a long time fan of 50 cent.

Dan Robinson did not kill Kenny

Dan Robinson did in fact, put “the bone inside her”

Anthony Simone never ended up drumming for Shroud of Bereavement because Dan Robinson ate him for playing too fast

Contrary to popular belief, Trix are also for Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson once had an eating contest with Gene Hoglan, but took 3224 days to eat the very same hot dog gene ate in .024 seconds, yet won because he’s Dan Robinson

Dan Robinson: That’s what it means to be from Maine

Dan Robinson doesn't care about black people

Fun fact: Dan Robinson was in the original starting lineup for the Lakers

Dan Robinson is the REAL Dread Pirate Roberts

Little known fact: Shrek was not a computer generated character, but was in fact Dan Robinson after obtaining food poisoning

Dan Robinson created metalcore for his own amusement……….the key word being AMUSEMENT

Dan Robinson writes music in 2 speeds: Slow and.....................oh wait, just slow

Dan Robinson is tougher than Vin Diesel

It has been said that knowing is half the battle........the other half is Dan Robinson

When people say that Dan Robinson IS Shroud of Bereavement, they're not kidding, Dan clones himself 6 times, with each clone taking a different form and instrument

Dan Robinson eats exactly 2 ham and mortar sandwiches between each chord change in Shroud songs

Dan Robinson doesn’t actually write his own music, he pays George Michaels who happens to be secretly a neo-classical doom metal master

Terri Schaivo went into a coma because Dan Robinson showed her a Shroud song and she didn't take a snack break during the song

Dan Robinson was paid to create Shroud of Bereavement by pharmaceutical companies that were trying to find the cure for insomnia

Its a well known fact, the average scholar can read approx. 5.7 pages of the Great Gatsby in between each snare hit in a Shroud song

Dan Robinson is the only person to ever land a roundhouse kick to the face of Chuck Norris

It wasn’t Varg that killed Euronymous; Dan Robinson took the form of Varg, killed Euronymous, ate his soul, and changed back to Dan Robinson

It takes Dan Robinson an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes

Dan Robinson doesn’t taste the rainbow, he writes insanely slow music

Dan Robinson actually goes on vacation to Florida during synth breaks when Shroud plays live

Dan Robinson stole the cookies from the cookie jar but neglected to eat them, for he was too busy “absolving sorrow”

Dan Robinson is Bob Barker in disguise (see “Dread Pirate Roberts”)

Dan Robinson has a hunger that only 3 and a half buffalo and a Little Debbie snack cake can satisfy

Dan is all that is Robinson

Dan Robinson once wrote a self help book called Cloud of Achievement

The WWF based the Ultimate Warrior on Dan Robinson

Vin diesel is just a rip-off of Dan Robinson, who is a rip-off of Woody Allen

Dan Robinson is above the rules of grammar

The Anal Cunt song “I pushed your wife in front of a subway” is actually a tale of how some lady told Dan Robinson doom metal sucks.

What’s the difference between Dan Robinson and Michael Jackson? Dan Robinson plays heavy metal and Michael Jackson fucks kids.



toggletoggle post by sever at Nov 9,2005 4:20pm
Anthony Simone is a woogabooga and should go play in traffic.



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 9,2005 4:22pm
AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

touche!



toggletoggle post by Tsectpathogen at Nov 9,2005 4:23pm
ADDING TO THIS LIST IS ENCOURAGED



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 9,2005 4:26pm
KEEP IN MIND PEOPLE!!!!

this was done in good humor...



toggletoggle post by largefreakatzero at Nov 9,2005 4:46pm
Bwahahahaaha -- awesome!



toggletoggle post by coldnorthernvengeance  at Nov 9,2005 4:50pm
I liked the one how Dan takes a vacation to florida




toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 5:06pm
that is fucking awesome! you guys rock!

holy shit, i am still laughing

mark had to call and make me read this, thais is too much!!!!

i think i am honored!

\m/

thanks guys, DOOM ON!!!!!!!!


ohh, and i am the cookie monster



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 9,2005 5:07pm
AHAHAHAHAHA

BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!!



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 5:25pm
indeed!



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Nov 9,2005 5:41pm
so funny. these are all true, except for the one about dan landing a roundhouse kick to the face of chuck norris. dan's awesome, but no man could ever land a kick to the mighty beard of chuck norris. good job on these facts. i thought they were really funny.



toggletoggle post by nate   at Nov 9,2005 6:29pm
It is also an unknown fact that when casting for the Lord Of The Rings began they were actually trying to get a hold of Dan for the human role but couldn't find him so they decided to go with Vigo Mortensen instead.



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 9:37pm
ha ha ha! yeah well, i turned the lotr staff down....not enough money really. but i did however play in the 13th warrior as the viking king



toggletoggle post by reuben  at Nov 9,2005 9:38pm
you forgot that he smells like a hippy



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 9,2005 9:39pm
two words "third test-tickle" woogabooga.



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 9:47pm
ha ha ha...ahh and yeah i am a secret hippy with 3 balls...lol

can't you tell from all my tye died shirts, bell bottoms and extra large buldges



toggletoggle post by sever at Nov 9,2005 10:00pm
I still say Anthony Simone is a WoogaBooga. Oh, and he sucks at drums. Seriously. I mean come on. He sucks.

...

...

LOL SAUSAGE



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 10:05pm
yeah, he's just way too fast, very woogaBooga ish



toggletoggle post by SeedBassist at Nov 9,2005 10:39pm
dyingmuse said:
yeah, he's just way too fast, very woogaBooga ish



He is indeed way too fast, which, as the list tells us, is why Dan Robinson had no choice but to eat him.



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 9,2005 10:46pm
my gut moves at incredible rates



toggletoggle post by SeedBassist at Nov 9,2005 10:47pm
dyingmuse said:
my gut moves at incredible rates


And your gut isn't even triggered!



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 9,2005 11:16pm
SeedBassist said:
dyingmuse said:
my gut moves at incredible rates


And your gut isn't even triggered!


no, but his gut is WoogaBooga



toggletoggle post by SeedBassist at Nov 9,2005 11:26pm
DreamingInExile said:
SeedBassist said:
dyingmuse said:
my gut moves at incredible rates


And your gut isn't even triggered!


no, but his gut is WoogaBooga



Not nearly as Woogabooga as j00!



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 10,2005 7:37am
ha ha ha



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 10,2005 8:04am
the infection of the WoogaBooga is spreading....



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 10,2005 8:57am
dan robinson is not woogaBooga

dan robinson has a 12 inch penis



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 10,2005 9:02am
dan robinson likes to talk about himself which is wicked woogabooga.



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Nov 10,2005 9:09am
lol

i guess you had to be there, about the 12 inch penis thing...we have this song that goes with it...it's a riot!

if i had a 12 inch penis i would not be here posting, i would be blowing myself lol!!!!


woogaBooga!!!!!



toggletoggle post by SeedBassist at Nov 10,2005 10:27am
dyingmuse said:
dan robinson is not woogaBooga

dan robinson has a 12 inch penis




Dan Robinson put his 12-inch penis into "Willard's Hole"



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 10,2005 10:32am
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PWNT!!! In the new WoogaBooga tradition



toggletoggle post by DreamingInExile   at Nov 10,2005 4:09pm
bumping for the comedic value!



toggletoggle post by dreadkill  at Nov 10,2005 7:25pm
dan robinson tried to get woogabooga with chuck norris so chuck stared at dan's testicles until they exploded.



toggletoggle post by anonymous at Oct 3,2007 11:12pm
Bump



toggletoggle post by the_taste_of_cigarettes  at Oct 3,2007 11:14pm
i love the part about writing thrash but having smoked weed hahahaha



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Oct 3,2007 11:31pm
Ha ha ha, I found this on a random search and when I went to post I was annonymous. Weird.



toggletoggle post by the tax man at Oct 4,2007 1:01am
dan robinson says he wants to play madden at 1 a.m. but never shows up because he knows he will lose



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Oct 4,2007 1:31am
last time I saw dan he not only agree that he was a woman, but that he has a b'gina.



toggletoggle post by sever nli at Oct 4,2007 7:08am
WOOGABOOGA!



toggletoggle post by toc nli at Oct 4,2007 8:58am
"It takes Dan Robinson an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes"

fucking genius



toggletoggle post by dyingmuse   at Oct 4,2007 10:47am
TOC: Ha ha ha ha hah a!!!!! That is pretty good


TTM: DM is the pussy, who has to cheat on Madden 07, and I called you last night!

By the way, Halo 3 tonight nigga!!!!!!! If I get my check before the bank closes that is!



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