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New site? Maybe some day.
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Hey everyone, i've been noticing the new obsession with the frequent facts about Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel. I was sitting and talking with Anthony Simone (he plays session drums for coffin birth, and is in a few other projects), and we thought it would be funny to do the same thing about someone in the metal community, so we decided on Dan Robinson from Shroud of Bereavement, as many people know and respect Dan and his music. We compiled this list in about 30-45 minutes last night, and we hope you enjoy. Some of you may think it's funny, some of you may think it's just retarded and so are we. Well, the answer is really both. So here it is: Random facts about Dan Robinson:
Dan Robinson can lay 56 bricks in 1 hour, yet he refuses to play above the tempo of 56 bpm
Dan Robinson ate the cure for cancer
All the members of Amon Amarth combine to make Dan Robinson
Dan Robinson actually writes thrash metal........he just smoked some extremely good weed as a teenager, the effects are still lasting
Aids is just a bunch of tiny Dan Robinson’s that get into your bloodstream and doom your immune system to death
Dan Robinson has an uncanny ability to eat blue cheese, but only if provoked by ferrets
Mark Guy once questioned Dan Robinson's ability as a tr00 d00m metaller, Dan responded by infecting Mark with tapeworm, which is why he's so skinny
Dan Robinson was the original songwriter for "wake me up, before you go go" but the song was originally titled, Knuckle fucker
Little known fact: Dan Robinson is the Santa clause at the local mall during Christmas time.
Dan Robinson is responsible for starting the slave trade, coincidentally; he is a long time fan of 50 cent.
Dan Robinson did not kill Kenny
Dan Robinson did in fact, put “the bone inside her”
Anthony Simone never ended up drumming for Shroud of Bereavement because Dan Robinson ate him for playing too fast
Contrary to popular belief, Trix are also for Dan Robinson
Dan Robinson once had an eating contest with Gene Hoglan, but took 3224 days to eat the very same hot dog gene ate in .024 seconds, yet won because he’s Dan Robinson
Dan Robinson: That’s what it means to be from Maine
Dan Robinson doesn't care about black people
Fun fact: Dan Robinson was in the original starting lineup for the Lakers
Dan Robinson is the REAL Dread Pirate Roberts
Little known fact: Shrek was not a computer generated character, but was in fact Dan Robinson after obtaining food poisoning
Dan Robinson created metalcore for his own amusement……….the key word being AMUSEMENT
Dan Robinson writes music in 2 speeds: Slow and.....................oh wait, just slow
Dan Robinson is tougher than Vin Diesel
It has been said that knowing is half the battle........the other half is Dan Robinson
When people say that Dan Robinson IS Shroud of Bereavement, they're not kidding, Dan clones himself 6 times, with each clone taking a different form and instrument
Dan Robinson eats exactly 2 ham and mortar sandwiches between each chord change in Shroud songs
Dan Robinson doesn’t actually write his own music, he pays George Michaels who happens to be secretly a neo-classical doom metal master
Terri Schaivo went into a coma because Dan Robinson showed her a Shroud song and she didn't take a snack break during the song
Dan Robinson was paid to create Shroud of Bereavement by pharmaceutical companies that were trying to find the cure for insomnia
Its a well known fact, the average scholar can read approx. 5.7 pages of the Great Gatsby in between each snare hit in a Shroud song
Dan Robinson is the only person to ever land a roundhouse kick to the face of Chuck Norris
It wasn’t Varg that killed Euronymous; Dan Robinson took the form of Varg, killed Euronymous, ate his soul, and changed back to Dan Robinson
It takes Dan Robinson an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes
Dan Robinson doesn’t taste the rainbow, he writes insanely slow music
Dan Robinson actually goes on vacation to Florida during synth breaks when Shroud plays live
Dan Robinson stole the cookies from the cookie jar but neglected to eat them, for he was too busy “absolving sorrow”
Dan Robinson is Bob Barker in disguise (see “Dread Pirate Roberts”)
Dan Robinson has a hunger that only 3 and a half buffalo and a Little Debbie snack cake can satisfy
Dan is all that is Robinson
Dan Robinson once wrote a self help book called Cloud of Achievement
The WWF based the Ultimate Warrior on Dan Robinson
Vin diesel is just a rip-off of Dan Robinson, who is a rip-off of Woody Allen
Dan Robinson is above the rules of grammar
The Anal Cunt song “I pushed your wife in front of a subway” is actually a tale of how some lady told Dan Robinson doom metal sucks.
What’s the difference between Dan Robinson and Michael Jackson? Dan Robinson plays heavy metal and Michael Jackson fucks kids.
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Anthony Simone is a woogabooga and should go play in traffic. |
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AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
touche! |
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ADDING TO THIS LIST IS ENCOURAGED |
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KEEP IN MIND PEOPLE!!!!
this was done in good humor... |
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I liked the one how Dan takes a vacation to florida
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that is fucking awesome! you guys rock!
holy shit, i am still laughing
mark had to call and make me read this, thais is too much!!!!
i think i am honored!
\m/
thanks guys, DOOM ON!!!!!!!!
ohh, and i am the cookie monster |
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AHAHAHAHAHA
BEST THREAD EVER!!!!!! |
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so funny. these are all true, except for the one about dan landing a roundhouse kick to the face of chuck norris. dan's awesome, but no man could ever land a kick to the mighty beard of chuck norris. good job on these facts. i thought they were really funny. |
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It is also an unknown fact that when casting for the Lord Of The Rings began they were actually trying to get a hold of Dan for the human role but couldn't find him so they decided to go with Vigo Mortensen instead. |
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ha ha ha! yeah well, i turned the lotr staff down....not enough money really. but i did however play in the 13th warrior as the viking king |
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you forgot that he smells like a hippy |
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two words "third test-tickle" woogabooga.
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ha ha ha...ahh and yeah i am a secret hippy with 3 balls...lol
can't you tell from all my tye died shirts, bell bottoms and extra large buldges |
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I still say Anthony Simone is a WoogaBooga. Oh, and he sucks at drums. Seriously. I mean come on. He sucks.
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LOL SAUSAGE |
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yeah, he's just way too fast, very woogaBooga ish |
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dyingmuse said: yeah, he's just way too fast, very woogaBooga ish |
He is indeed way too fast, which, as the list tells us, is why Dan Robinson had no choice but to eat him. |
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my gut moves at incredible rates |
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dyingmuse said: my gut moves at incredible rates |
And your gut isn't even triggered! |
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SeedBassist said: dyingmuse said:my gut moves at incredible rates |
And your gut isn't even triggered! |
no, but his gut is WoogaBooga |
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DreamingInExile said: SeedBassist said:dyingmuse said:my gut moves at incredible rates |
And your gut isn't even triggered! |
no, but his gut is WoogaBooga |
Not nearly as Woogabooga as j00! |
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the infection of the WoogaBooga is spreading.... |
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dan robinson is not woogaBooga
dan robinson has a 12 inch penis |
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dan robinson likes to talk about himself which is wicked woogabooga. |
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lol
i guess you had to be there, about the 12 inch penis thing...we have this song that goes with it...it's a riot!
if i had a 12 inch penis i would not be here posting, i would be blowing myself lol!!!!
woogaBooga!!!!! |
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dyingmuse said: dan robinson is not woogaBooga
dan robinson has a 12 inch penis |
Dan Robinson put his 12-inch penis into "Willard's Hole" |
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PWNT!!! In the new WoogaBooga tradition |
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bumping for the comedic value! |
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dan robinson tried to get woogabooga with chuck norris so chuck stared at dan's testicles until they exploded. |
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i love the part about writing thrash but having smoked weed hahahaha |
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Ha ha ha, I found this on a random search and when I went to post I was annonymous. Weird. |
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dan robinson says he wants to play madden at 1 a.m. but never shows up because he knows he will lose |
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last time I saw dan he not only agree that he was a woman, but that he has a b'gina. |
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"It takes Dan Robinson an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes"
fucking genius |
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TOC: Ha ha ha ha hah a!!!!! That is pretty good
TTM: DM is the pussy, who has to cheat on Madden 07, and I called you last night!
By the way, Halo 3 tonight nigga!!!!!!! If I get my check before the bank closes that is! |
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