i have to bend over like a retard and half my piss still ends up on the floor.

I'm tired of it.

i feel your pain. you cant just sit down and force it down cuz it hangs over the edge. maybe if i could touch my toes i wouldnt have this problem. i could stand with my back to the toilet and the bowl between my legs and touch my toes and then MAYBE itd all go in. although id have to remember to lock the bathroom door so my roomates dont walk in and see me like that.

40 yr old virgin
haha

yeah, its all about angles.

problem is, when i bend over, my stream splits into two, only ONE of which actually makes it inside the toilet.

most of the time it feels like its gonna snap off when you bend it to aim in the can...I would just piss all over the ceiling if I could get away with it!!!

succubus said:



haven't seen yet. is this topic discussed? I need all the help i can get.

hahahaha ive had the double stream...you dont know which one to aim..and which on to just say....fuck it...im gonna have to wipe this up!!1

exactly, the distance between the streams is always too large to get both in. it's god's cruel joke.

I usually only get the double stream if ive been screwing all night. maybe try a handstand on the toilet seat?

1) piss into the shower
2) sit down and hook it under the lid

the_reverend said:

but then your dick mashes into the inside of the toilet...which is gross

although its not as bad as when you force it down when youre sitting and your dick touches the toilet water

yeah, i thought it was a joke about the movie...lol

obscure reference: Me, Myself and Irene

i'm with ya on that reference...its not THAT obscure

the_reverend said:

I do the first one

1st one for sure. I'd much rather piss in the shower than mash my pisshole against the inside of the toilet...that's just gross.

word

shower is a fantastic option.

one of my buddies from back home claims that his shit can pivot while erect. double jointed bone! i'm so jealous.

what if you have roomates..and piss in the shower ....is that wrong???

cdan said:

yea honestly at this point mine kinda bends wherever the hell i want it to. but then when i bend it down i cant piss so i usually just take the shower option. what colorful conversations we end up having.

I love this thread.

Just piss in the sink, hopefully you're going to clean out the sink after you brush your teeth/wash your face so that will rinse out the piss.

Just piss out the window. It worked for me, back before me and my ex used to fuck, and i would realize i wouldnt get much satisfaction out of it while having to piss the whole time.

succubus said:

possibly the funniest part of any movie i have ever seen. i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe.

the part in Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughn is getting a handie from that psycho red haired chick at the dinner table made me lol like i've never loled before

dreadkill said:

shit i dont remember that part, what happened?

Piss in the shower. I do it every morning, just don't tell my roommate.

or, you could try getting laid, and cure the wood for good.

if you ever get the V-Stream, just cup your hand and richochet the other stream into the toilet.

The idiots guide to taking piss in the morning

Just piss outside, then you don't have to aim.

largefreakatzero said:

when I use to go hunting with my Papa, I remember having to take a dump in the woods. It was very awkward and you always think someone is watching you and also trying not to let a shitlog roll down a stump onto your foot.

yea squatting in the woods never gives you that satisfying "i just took a dump" feeling

pissing is for pussies.

RustedAngel said:

On one of our goose hunting trips last week, I had to shit in the field that we were setting up in. Since it was a field, there were no good grunt-sticks available. Also, it was 5am and dark. And, I didn't dare put my boots on because you can't get your pants down low enough with big boots on, so my shoes got soaked thru from the morning dew. But, although we shot no geese that day, I did succeed in not shitting on myself. The end.

grunt sticks? I just leaned up against tree's.

A good stout stick for leaning can be substituted for a tree. I had neither, unless I wanted to venture into poison ivy.

not shitting on yourself rocks

shitting in the woods sucks cause the poo doesn't go away, it's right there, stinking, and you can't flush it. the poo wins.

When I used to go deer hunting, me and my Dad would shit in a bag, cuz the deer would smell it from 3000 miles away.
I always thought it was kinda fun.

powerkok said:

if you still have any of those bags, mail them to my exgf please.

LOL If I had those bags...they wouldve been shipped instead of the annual Turkey carcass that I award to a random winner every year.

Every year some schmoe recieves a turkey carcass, compliments of me, in the mail....FREE!!

what a guy

hey, what can I say, I like to give!

At least you can say you've done your part for the community

shit sucks. the dual stream action.

I think its kinda cool

just did it.
sucked.

anybody else ever get the chills while pissing with morning wood? it's a rare occasion, but when it happens my piss goes all over the place.