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returntothepit >> discuss >> I need a blowjob. by Christraper on Nov 23,2004 4:00pm
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toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:00pm
Any volunteers?



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 23,2004 4:02pm edited Nov 23,2004 4:03pm



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 23,2004 4:05pm
I thought you had a girlfriend?



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:32pm
Guess the boss still hasn't given you that blonde polished yet, huh?



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:34pm
No i havent received my well deserved under the desk penis polisher and my girlfriend has some sort of phalluphobia. She likes getting fucked wicked hard but hates touching cock and god forbid i ask her to suck on it. Youd think with all the head i give her shed get over it but i guess not. I like getting head goddamnit!!!!



toggletoggle post by RustedAngel at Nov 23,2004 4:38pm
Christraper said:
No i havent received my well deserved under the desk penis polisher and my girlfriend has some sort of phalluphobia. She likes getting fucked wicked hard but hates touching cock and god forbid i ask her to suck on it. Youd think with all the head i give her shed get over it but i guess not. I like getting head goddamnit!!!!



time for a new girlfriend buddy! hahahaha



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:39pm
TSK, TSK...

Sounds like the lil lady is being selfish.........not giving but receiving!!!




toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:43pm
I know!!!! Like what the fuckity fuck??? I dont discuss this with her because i dont want to be an asshole about it but yea, whats the big deal? I go down on her all the time. Normally id say fuck it and move on but aside from that shes wicked good in bed!!!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:45pm
So i figure if this situation continues in this fashion i wont cheat on her but i WILL however accept "favors" here and there from generous friends on occasion.



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:45pm
mm, but thats a huge "aside from"......



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:46pm
even though thats pretty much cheating on her.



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:47pm
hahahaha.....



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:47pm
Not if the friends are from diffferent zip codes.....

The ole, zip code rule!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:48pm
ram_girl said:
mm, but thats a huge "aside from"......

I KNOW!!!!!! And its not like ive got some smelly green leperous dick in my pants, she told right from the beginning that she doesnt give head and im thinkin "yea right we'll see..." but she really doesnt!!!!




toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:49pm
and you were OK with her telling you that!!!!!
She must be hot!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:49pm
zip code rule? so all those times in south america didnt count? thats cool.



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:50pm
never heard of the zip code rule...

if the chic your doing on the side is from a different zip code, then you aren't cheating!!!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:51pm
yea shes pretty fuckin cute. really what made me stick around is the fact that she can make me laugh. Most girls cant do that. Thats usually how i decide whether or not i keep the girl im with.



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:52pm
i havent cheated on her so far. id prefer not to but she needs to take a walk in my shoes and loosen up a little.



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 23,2004 4:54pm
Sounds like you need to be telling her that theres a problem and it ain't on your end!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:54pm
im leaving work now but this conversation will be continued. i need some female perspective on this one.



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 23,2004 4:55pm
ram_girl said:
Sounds like you need to be telling her that theres a problem and it ain't on your end!

yea but thats really the only problem and it seems a bit shallow to bring that up as an issue y'know?




toggletoggle post by phobia  at Nov 23,2004 5:03pm
oh c'mon, if you started the message board i dont think telling her will be going to far.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 23,2004 5:11pm
there is a quote in tom robbin's book.. um.. half asleep in frog pajamas where a 300lb girl says something like "show me the wife that doesn't suck cock and I'll show you a man I can steal".



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 23,2004 5:16pm
You need a new girlfriend unless she starts giving you heads. Dude if you go down on her and if she doesn't give you heads, sorry but this is not fair and not fun.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 23,2004 5:22pm
ummm
that is nuts...if she refuses to give then you should refuse to do it to her

how fucking lame

no offense to her but if she loves you..she'll do it



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 23,2004 5:23pm
the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 23,2004 5:24pm
and if she doesn't love what you do....
maybe she should get a new boyfriend



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 23,2004 5:27pm
wait wait wait..... I bet you're uncircumsized aren't you?



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 23,2004 5:33pm
I just don't get it. What the fuck is wrong with that girl?



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 23,2004 5:33pm
cheswich!



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 23,2004 5:34pm
the_reverend said:
the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.

hahaha we said the same thing

that's probably because we like doing it to each other

wooooooooo




toggletoggle post by BornSoVile   at Nov 23,2004 5:39pm
Christraper said:
zip code rule? so all those times in south america didnt count? thats cool.


lmao
I hear yah bro



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 23,2004 5:59pm
i'm telling you. this dude has to have a covered wagon.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 23,2004 6:00pm
hahahahahahaha



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at Nov 23,2004 6:36pm
I can go for one.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 23,2004 7:11pm
swamplorddvm said:
I can go for one.



an uncircumsized penis???



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 23,2004 7:12pm
homeboy's got a lamprey eel hanging from his crotch. of course a normal chick isn't gonna put that in her mouth. snip it duder.



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Nov 23,2004 7:16pm
in reference to the title of this thread... that goes endlessly without saying



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 23,2004 10:56pm
hopefully c-raper is getting one now



toggletoggle post by ike at Nov 23,2004 11:33pm



toggletoggle post by MarkFuckingRichards  at Nov 23,2004 11:47pm
whatever one woman won't do, there are a million others who will.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 24,2004 7:33am
i don't understand



toggletoggle post by Joe/NotCommon   at Nov 24,2004 9:23am
cheating on women is perfectly acceptable.



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 24,2004 11:32am
Soo, Christraper....did she polish the helmet....inquiring minds want to know?

Oh and the comments from the others here pretty much sum it up!!!

You need a new girlfriend unless she starts giving you heads. Dude if you go down on her and if she doesn't give you heads, sorry but this is not fair and not fun.

ummm
that is nuts...if she refuses to give then you should refuse to do it to her

the answer is clear.
stop going down on her unless she starts going down on you.



toggletoggle post by jesusfucker at Nov 24,2004 12:35pm
Christraper....I never would have guessed!

I say give the girl a chance. She's still pretty young. If she won't do it now, I swear she'll grow into it, maybe.

The only reason I can think of to NOT give a guy head is if he's not clean, and you appear clean so that's probably not the issue.

The way I decide if I stick with a guy or not is based almost completely on his unit, how he uses it and how good it fits in all areas including my mouth. If someone could meet those requirements AND make me laugh, hell, I would be a happy camper.

Good luck. Oh yeah, and even if you got yourself a covered wagon down there....I'm sure she hasn't come across too many like that. So maybe she'd be scared off a lil, but nothin wrong with a covered wagon. Dick is dick and I like dick.

---Hold out on the cunt lapping...until she gives in---








toggletoggle post by korpse-l- at Nov 24,2004 12:47pm
this is what you do...
tell her you want to play a game. tell her in this game "you can't use your hands", lay her flat on her back kind of in a jesus christ pose tell her to close her eyes, and in a split second, hop up on her and put your knees on her arms so she can't break free and do your thing. it always works.



toggletoggle post by korpse-l- at Nov 24,2004 12:50pm
jesusfucker said:
Christraper....I never would have guessed!

I say give the girl a chance. She's still pretty young. If she won't do it now, I swear she'll grow into it, maybe.

The only reason I can think of to NOT give a guy head is if he's not clean, and you appear clean so that's probably not the issue.

The way I decide if I stick with a guy or not is based almost completely on his unit, how he uses it and how good it fits in all areas including my mouth. If someone could meet those requirements AND make me laugh, hell, I would be a happy camper.

Good luck. Oh yeah, and even if you got yourself a covered wagon down there....I'm sure she hasn't come across too many like that. So maybe she'd be scared off a lil, but nothin wrong with a covered wagon. Dick is dick and I like dick.

---Hold out on the cunt lapping...until she gives in---








wanna date?



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Nov 24,2004 12:56pm
buy some tasty lube... there's this stuff that tastes like sourish candy.... it's YUM! that might make her be more open to the task...



toggletoggle post by ram_girl  at Nov 24,2004 1:02pm
Where the hell is Christraper??

I hope he didn't say something to her last night and she stabbed him or something!!!



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Nov 24,2004 1:07pm
if he says something wrong, he can always just blame it on us... or me 'cos i'm a million miles away...



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Nov 24,2004 3:09pm
jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...

im impressed and interested all in one post

bravo



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 24,2004 3:17pm
KeithMutiny said:
jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...

im impressed and interested all in one post

bravo



Yeah, she said it all too well.



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 24,2004 3:44pm
boneur



toggletoggle post by jesusfucker at Nov 24,2004 4:26pm
KeithMutiny said:
jesusfucker has the best female responce i've ever heard in my life...

im impressed and interested all in one post

bravo


Thank you, thank you... I know what's up.



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Nov 24,2004 4:33pm
ya, me, after that one



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at Nov 24,2004 5:10pm
succubus said:
swamplorddvm said:
I can go for one.



an uncircumsized penis???


?????????




toggletoggle post by BornSoVile   at Nov 24,2004 6:15pm
who is this mysterious jesusfucker?



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 24,2004 6:18pm
She's the new guitarist from Esuriem's girlfriend.



toggletoggle post by handinjury at Nov 24,2004 9:47pm
any extra/unused BJ's left in this thread?



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 26,2004 11:07am
GO TO MONTREAL!!!!

$5



toggletoggle post by Todd(bombshelter) at Nov 27,2004 4:43pm
Manch also $5 ,on the corner of Valley and any of the crossing streets basically,but most of them have no teeth



toggletoggle post by Sinistas   at Nov 27,2004 7:03pm
wouldn't that be a gumjob?

*honks*



toggletoggle post by the_reverend   at Nov 27,2004 7:28pm
I get scared in manchvegas when I go onto pine st.



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 28,2004 7:07pm
Christraper, here's might be a good Xmas present for her... I can find more if you need too (not sure if the price is wholesale or retail though)

Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing (Sadie Allison) $14.95 0970661126

A penis instruction manual for women. Sexy and inspiring, honest and provocative, it informs, entertains, and reveals the secrets of the penis. Features over 50 techniques to master oral lovemaking; dozens of ways to turn your hands into living sex toys; secret touching tips for the "Male G-Spot" and other pleasure zones; more. Over 100 b&w drawings.

http://www.lastgasp.com/d/24584/



toggletoggle post by KeithMutiny  at Nov 28,2004 8:16pm
id like to give that too a few people i know for christmas



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 10:58am
Holy shit. I wasnt online all weekend. I had no idea my whining would amount to so much. NO I DONT HAVE A COVERED WAGON GODDAMNIT!!!!! I had a rather interesting weekend though. I havent resolved anything with my girlfriend but I feel better anyways. And you guys dont understand. I LIKE going down on my girl. If i were to stop it would suck cuz...well...i like it. And youre probably right jesusfucker im sure she'll get over it eventually.



toggletoggle post by blue  at Nov 29,2004 11:07am
not eating poontang is like depriving yourself of life.



toggletoggle post by Mary  at Nov 29,2004 11:23am
I give bad head. Ask Brad.




toggletoggle post by blue  at Nov 29,2004 11:24am
meh. i can live without getting head. but not giving cunnilingus, i might as well be dead.



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 29,2004 11:35am
blue said:
meh. i can live without getting head. but not giving cunnilingus, i might as well be dead.



I like it too, fellas, but jesus christ listen to yourselves. You kidding me?



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 11:44am
i think they are trying to kid themselves

lol



toggletoggle post by blue  at Nov 29,2004 11:45am
i no kid.

vagina > everything



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 12:31pm
Eating pussy rules. Watching a girl get off is one of lifes simple pleasures.



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 12:38pm
so whens that wedding again?

;)



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 12:51pm
Pretty damn soon if i dont straighten this shit out!



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 29,2004 1:55pm
you two are just trying to get broads two swoon over you.



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 1:58pm
At least im being honest. And id also like to reiterate the fact that i am indeed circumsized.....so there.



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:03pm
does hooker have a covered wagon?



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 2:12pm
nope



toggletoggle post by Stumbling55  at Nov 29,2004 2:13pm
some girls have a problem giving head because its one of the features of sex they havent yet mastered, therefore feel uncomfortable performing... where as other sexual positions they are comfortable with, therefore, dont mind performing. You simply have to talk to her about it... bring it up gently, cuz if it sounds mean, she'll take offense, and then your dick outta luck.



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 2:14pm
if you are in an open relationship...you are supposed to tell each other what you like and what you don't...

it's pretty simple...



toggletoggle post by armageddonday   at Nov 29,2004 2:14pm
I'm telling you, get her that book!



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:15pm
i thought all penises were circumsized at birth --- like it's hospital procedure



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 29,2004 2:18pm
hahah. succubus, how would you know?



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 29,2004 2:18pm
but dear god no, I don't.



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:19pm
oh man my sophmore year of college, a group of my friends got a stripper for my friends 21st birthday --- he had a covered wagon and braces on his teeth

i was so traumatized!



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 2:19pm
dirteecrayon said:
i thought all penises were circumsized at birth --- like it's hospital procedure


nope



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 2:20pm
Hooker said:
hahah. succubus, how would you know?


ummm because you told me silly!

at that show and then you asked me all about the rev's...



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:21pm
i think christraper has a covered wagon!

he should show us or me rather so we could be 100% sure!

=)



toggletoggle post by j****fucker at Nov 29,2004 2:22pm
Nope. It's whatever way you want it to be. You get to pick!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 2:26pm
dirteecrayon said:
i think christraper has a covered wagon!

he should show us or me rather so we could be 100% sure!

=)

you asked for it.




toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:31pm
uhhh,

nevermind i might be disppointed with what i see

;)



toggletoggle post by Hooker  at Nov 29,2004 2:33pm
succubus said:
Hooker said:
hahah. succubus, how would you know?


ummm because you told me silly!

at that show and then you asked me all about the rev's...







lies!!



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 2:37pm
pfft carina never lies!

she said that my cock was the biggest she ever seen!



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 29,2004 2:41pm
you showed me a GIGANORMOUS black cock, so yeah, twas the biggest i've ever seen!



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 2:42pm
dirteecrayon said:
uhhh,

nevermind i might be disppointed with what i see

;)

Whawhawhat!!!!!




toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 2:46pm
:christraper takes a hard hit to his already shattered blowjobless ego:



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at Nov 29,2004 3:30pm
The only time I've had a multiple orgasm (like 10 at once) was from a blow job.



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 3:31pm
swamplorddvm said:
The only time I've had a multiple orgasm (like 10 at once) was from a blow job.

try an orgy



toggletoggle post by swamplorddvm  at Nov 29,2004 3:33pm
No I'm talking about continuos orgasms one after the other within seconds.



toggletoggle post by Mary  at Nov 29,2004 3:34pm
Christraper said:
:christraper takes a hard hit to his already shattered blowjobless ego:



Hahahaha! If we had a signature line on here, that would be in mine.



toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 29,2004 3:44pm
swamplorddvm said:
No I'm talking about continuos orgasms one after the other within seconds.


I think thats just called a really good orgasm.



toggletoggle post by Abbath at Nov 29,2004 3:48pm
blow jobs scare me, every girl i've fooled with sucks at them (no pun intended)



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 29,2004 11:16pm
i'm not a big fan of receiving
i've had some really bad traumatizing experiences
i got bit and it was not cool!



toggletoggle post by MyDeadDoll   at Nov 29,2004 11:30pm
i try to give and receive at least twice a week



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 30,2004 10:57am
MyDeadDoll said:
i try to give and receive at least twice a week


whoa,

twice a week?!?!?!?

you're way too generous!

=)



toggletoggle post by succubus  at Nov 30,2004 10:59am
twice a week isn't too generous...but i won't say anymore since i found out how many of the rev's relatives check this site out =)



toggletoggle post by RustedAngel at Nov 30,2004 11:01am
girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.



toggletoggle post by dirteecrayon  at Nov 30,2004 11:02am
RustedAngel said:
girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.


aha, so thats why you have soooo many myspace friends!




toggletoggle post by RustedAngel at Nov 30,2004 11:04am
dirteecrayon said:

aha, so thats why you have soooo many myspace friends!



nah, that's just for looks.



toggletoggle post by Abbath at Nov 30,2004 1:21pm
RustedAngel said:
girls stress me out so much that I need 100 bj's a day.






toggletoggle post by Christraper at Nov 30,2004 1:26pm
Blowjobs kick ass. I think ive earned one.



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